#I can’t figure out how to make drawings scary tho so that’s why I don’t draw it frequently

[mothmothwoth]

Welcome home neighbor! It’s so quiet

[marshmallowprotection]

hi!!! i hope that you’re doing well <3

i really love how u analyze the characters (and saeran especially!!) really thoroughly (i actually used to read everything saeran related on your blog before i go to sleep lol), so when you open match up i got really excited🥰🥰 im so sorry this is going to be a wall of text, i didn’t think it would be THAT long 😭😭.

i’m currently still a student, and i am infj 2w3. I’m heterosexual (i love men and im scared of them at the same time). about my personality, a lot of person view me as a golden retriever, which seems completely the opposite with my mbti LMAO, but i do agree with them to some extent (i think i’m more shy than outgoing, i can only be outgoing if i feel like i could join in the convo😣, if im alone with someone than i will probably be sooo awkward and stat silent). to be honest i don’t think i understand myself that much, so i always try to find meaning in things i do to figure out what im like😭. i like helping others, but i can’t say no so that makes me a people pleaser 😭😭😭 and that’s a really bad habit of mine. i enjoy hanging out with my friends, but i get drained out easily. i think i also get jealous pretty easily, because im really insecure and i guess im a little bit posessive…:P (but i usually just brush it off because i know it is not good to feel that way). i do care about my friends, my family and people around me a lot, like i love being a part of someone character development and help them, i want to be someone trustworthy and precious to people (in other words i need validation lol). HOWEVER i also get pissed off easily😭😭😭 especially with someone that’s half-hearted in whatever they do, because i appreciate those who work hard a lot, or it is just the little things that annoy me. there is also a weird thing about me that is when someone like me and they show their love publicly i would immediately door slam them and i get very scared… i did try to think why i do this, idk if it’s because men are scary or because i really value friendship and i don’t want something volatile like a romantic relationship would ruin it (or both). i would say i’m also very hard working and i always put my mind into everything i do, even if it’s for my sake or other people’s sake. i’m also very responsible, and that’s prolly the reason why i get good grades in school, but there’s no subject that i like so that makes me kinda ambitionless, like i dont know what to do with my future😭😭😭. i also think i’m a type of person that’s afraid to step out of my comfort zone, i think that’s because i think too little of myself and i’m a coward lol. im also really good at judging people LIKE I MEAN IT, like my intuition is pretty good, but i’m bad at explaining so nobody gets me😭😭😭 also i prefer text over call when explaining something or talking about things seriously because then i have time to actuallg think over it. i’m also confident that i could comfort people, because when someone tell me something, i know that they trust me so i always try their best to understand them, put myself in their shoes and give them the comfort that they need (i’m too dedicated because i wish someone would do the same thing to me💔💔💔 sometimes i think im too good as a person too). i’m good at talking, just like casual talks tho, so i can make friends easily, but i dont have many close friends because as they get to know me more they will know how twisted i am. even tho im good at talking but im not good at communicating my feelings and what i want, so there are always misunderstandings between me and others, and i always feel hurt, but i’m too afraid to talk about myself.

my hobby. i have a lot of hobbies but i don’t have any talent, so i abandon most of them and i’m afraid to commit to any. i like playing sports (i prefer team sport), BUT BUT BUT I LOVE ICE SKATING SO MUCH BECAUSE IT IS SO ARTISTIC, ELEGANT AND YOU CAN FEEL IT. other than that i also like drawing, cooking and baking (i actually very invest in cooking and baking but im just too lazy to wash the dishes later). i also like drawing, but i’m also not patient enough to learn it😭. one thing i am very passionate about is singing, and i actually wanna be a singer 😭😭😭 but the job is unrealistic for someone like me, so i also just brush it away… i wan’t to get into floriography reallyyyyyy bad (definitely not saeran influenced), but i cannot make time 😭😭😭. my fav season is winter, i like to tug into my cozy bed, and i like xmas, this is also the time where u get to spend time with your love ones so i like it alot!! i also love reading and watching (romance related stuff, but i prefer if it is animated lol…), i think they are very comforting for a hopeless romantic like me lmao. i also like listening to music bc it always cheer me up!

my love language. i love to receive words of affirmation and i also like to give my partner words of affirmation. but since i’m not good at talking verbally, i like to express it through letters and gifts (so words of affirmation and gift giving combination?). i can also be very clingy and i love being coddled hehe

my appearance. im kinda chubby but i have been told that i have a pretty face, so im quite happy with my face 🥰 (im glad my self confidence got better these days, im still insecure w my body and my side profile a lot, but i will try my best to work on it). my hair is currently red right now, and i have curly hair, like 2b? but it is fluffy so sometimes i hate it a lot because no matter how much i style it it just doesnt stay in place. i have brown eyes, long lashes and squishy cheek (why am i being so descriptive about myself i hate it so much). i also wear glasses ARGHH WHICH MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A NERD and i feel like i look better without glasses because people say i have pretty eyes.

what i want in a partner. i think there are a lot of grey areas in a relationship, so i have a lot of expectations for my partner, but at the same time i don’t wanna be double standard 😣. i have thought over this a lot, and i hope that my partner would be understanding and love me as much as i love him, because trust is important in a relationship and it has to be mutual to keep growing 💗 it would be nice if my partner could be nice to everyone around him, because i loveee kind people 🥹🥹. BUT SERIOUSLY THO my ideal type is saeran, he is so kind and loving 😭😭 and there is just something about him that makes me want to love him and pamper him for the rest of my life 🫂

I match you with...

Saeran.

You sound like you have a lot of passion and zest for life. Sometimes, you're not sure if you want to come into something because you want it to be right the first time, even though it takes time to learn how to do something the right way. Frankly, there is no right or wrong way to do a hobby, as long as you're not putting your body in harm's way, so you should try to enjoy doing what makes you happy even if you're not the best at it.

Having a hobby isn't something you should do because you want to be the best, it's something you should do because it's fun. It might be easier for you to try something with someone you love. That's the case for Saeran, too, you know? He doesn't want to try everything by himself, and at the same time, he wants to try everything. He wants to have the experience of knowing that he can do something without being afraid of there being a target on his back... and he wants to get those moments under his belt with you.

Even if you're just standing by his side while he does something, or vice versa.

That feels like home.

[nightowlfandom]

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher X Reader- Jokes on you... (Part 1/2)

ANON ASKS

Hi Miss Night owl :) I have a request to ask of you when u have time . Can you pretty please do a.smut fic with Stu and Bill ; where Y/N is a new student, Stu and Billy was the first to befriend her, But like within a month Y/N ended up being targeted by ghost face , she comes face to face with him and instead of fear , shes just flat out turned on lol.

Can you use 1, 2 , 3 and 5 from your X-Rated list pleaaaaase ❤💖

Shoooooottt, let’s fucking GO!!! Also I hope you don’t mind, I took some creative liberties of my own...hehe. girl I am so fucking sorry I didn’t get to your request earlier. HERE IT IS THO. (All your prompts will come in part 2 when the smut goes down)

1- Look at me when I fuck you!

2- Oh, you’re so cute with my cum in your mouth…don’t spill it, darling…swallow it all.

3- I said FUCKING BEG!

5- Bend over the counter and stick that ass out, baby.

CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

X RATED PROMPT LIST| NON X RATED PROMPT LIST

Leggo!!

...

“Nice notebook.”

You looked up from what you had been doing to find a slightly greasy looking guy sitting across from you.

“What’s wrong with cute stickers.” you slightly pouted. You thought the little graphic of a cartoon egg relaxing in a bowl of ramen was cute of course next to your sticker of a kitty shooting rainbows out its butt. 

“Nothing at all, it was a compliment.” 

“Oh...thanks.” you looked down. You went back to your business, only for him to keep talking.

“I’ve never seen you around here before.”

You looked up from your notebook again, your face twisting into a slight pout. “I just transferred.” 

“So you’re new?”

“Uh-huh.” you nodded shyly. You looked back down. 

“So you gonna tell me your name?”

“Y/N.” you smiled shyly. 

“Y/N...nice. I’m Billy-”

“AND I’M STU!” A random guy basically fell out the sky, scaring the shit out of you. “You’re pretty cute!”

“Me?..Thank you!” you smiled again.

“Is that a Jason sticker? Holding a cat with a hockey mask? You like scary movies?”

“My mom is a makeup artists for horror movies, so I kinda grew up with them.” you shrugged. 

“Really now? I’m assuming you make figurines out of glitter and pasta?” this Stu character cackled. 

“No!” you whined, hugging your notebook to your chest. “How rude!”

“Oh easy now.” Stu hummed. “It was all in good fun.”

 “Sorry...its just a touchy subject for me.”

“What is? Horror?” Billy asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah...I’ve just...” you trailed off. “I just have a very personal relationship with the genre as a whole.” you stood up. “Bye now.”

Billy watched you as you left.

“How soon you thinkin, man?” Stu nudged Billy.

“...Let’s wait a bit.” Billy watched as you knelt by a couple of weeds and picked a dandelion. “She’s interesting.”

...

“Need some company?” Billy and Stu rushed to your side.

“What’s this?!” Stu slapped a hand over the open page! “Who is this?!”

A very detailed drawn figure of a tall figure was clad completely in black. Well, they’re shirt was fully unbuttoned showing a very impressive physique. The only thing missing was their mask...which you’ve yet to draw.

“Nothing!” you whined. “Gimme!!”

“You’re a pervert aren’t you.” Billy began flipping through your notebook. “Check it out, naked lady.” Billy nudged Stu.

“Nice!~”

“You two wouldn’t understand.” you frowned. “Why can’t beautiful people be murderous! You wouldn’t expect a drop dead gorgeous person to slit throats in their free time.”

“If I didn’t know any better-” Stu began. “I’d say the killer thing turns you on.”

“WHAT!? PFFFT NOOO!!” your voice went way to high for you to be telling the truth.

“Lying is a bad thing for you sweetheart-” Billy hummed. “You probably have fantasies of that type of thing.”

“Even if I did, that’s no business of yours...or yours.” you shifted between the two. 

The duo watched as you walked off, they were both in a fit of laughter.

You had no idea how many times in the past three weeks these two had butt into your lives but they never left you alone. Soon after, Billy and Stu decided it was time...

You were walking home after a late night at a friend’s house. You were trying to rush because it had been thundering too. It was then you felt like you were being followed. A shadow loomed over you which made you turn around. 

‘Nope nope nope!’ you had began speed walking. You knew how this shit went. You weren’t about to become a statistic. Your mom working in horror movies had you having a lot of interesting conversations with the actual killers and monsters acting on the screen.

You kept walking only to notice there was a shadow in front of you now.

“What the-”

You looked behind you then back in front of you. 

TWO- YOU WEREN’T PREPARED FOR TWO! 

Before you could move, the stranger practically snatched you up. 

“I wouldn’t move if I were you-” a strange voice spoke to you.

... 

You fell to the floor with a thud, crawling back until you hit a wall. You were in a basement of some sort. It looked like a nice ass house, but what killer would do his murder from home?? Billy stared at you from under the mask, you didn’t look like the type of girl that was terrified by this situation. 

You were looking around, avoiding his eyes. Usually victims would look him in the eye and plea for their lives. Your wrists were chained in front of your body, making it hard to moved.

“LET ME GO YOU BASTARD!” 

You shouldn’t have even spoken because this Ghostface was angered. He drove his knife into the wall, less than three inches from your head. 

You gasped, but not the type of gasp that someone who was in fear would make. Billy raised an eyebrow (under the mask of course). How strange for a girl to not be scared of him. That was a first. 

“I don’t know what you want but I can assure you I do not have it!” you tried to reason.

 This Ghostface knelt in front of you making a heart with his hands. 

“Charades? I like charades!” your voice went very high. “Heart, love. oh my god you’re gonna rip my heart out!”

“Nuh uh uh~” he sang. He pointed towards you, then to himself, then made the number 3 with his fingers.

“Me and you...Y-you’re gonna stab me three times?” you squeaked. He then tilted his hand under your chin and made you look up. He made the ‘okay’ symbol...then inserted his knife handle through the ‘O’.

“Ooooohhh...oh I get it now.” you laughed nervously. “Oh my...” you began fanning yourself. “What’s wrong with me.” you squeaked. “Y/N you are literally about to die, now is not the time-”

Billy tilted his head to the side as you began cursing yourself. He took note of the way you squeezed your legs together. You looked so pathetic there. You looked up at him for a second, feeling your breath hitch.

“S-so you wanna...do things to me? Wait...where does the number three come from?” you whimpered.

As if someone answered you, another Ghostface walked around the corner. 

“O-okay. One...two.” you moved from each figure. “I don’t understand...”. The second Ghostface neared closer and slowly slipped his hands into yours, turning your finger towards you. “Three.” you squeaked. “Okay.” you shifted in your chains. 

“Let me get this straight...you two kidnapped me...so you two could-”

“That’s right, sweetheart.” the first ghostface finally spoke. “We we’re gonna kill ya but...shit do you look so helpless there.”

“Say what now!”

“Easy now~” the second ghostface trailed knelt down in front of you and traced a gloved finger down your cheek. “It was a compliment.”

“Huh? Y-you said that like someone I know.” you stammered. “Or maybe I’m just hallucinating because why the FUCK aren’t I screaming right now?” you whispered. “No, this isn’t happening, I don’t like this-”

“Lying is a bad thing sweetheart.”

Despite the both of them being voice-changed, there was a familiarity to their voices. 

“You said that like some one I know too-” you whimpered. “Matter of fact you said that almost exactly the same way-”

You didn’t know what was gonna happen, but Lord help you.

(Next part will have....that good shit hehehe)

[itsclydebitches]

I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

[soldmysoultootomeboys]

Demon MC with Human Obey Me Brothers Reverse AU

Okay but what if the brothers were all ‘normal’ humans who ended up summoning a demon, who is MC.

I’m in love with this idea. Lowkey might write a fic about this  jk...unless? Levi’s was surprisingly the most fun to write. Also I guess tw for normal demon things??? Nothing too graphic tho

Part 2

Lucifer

As a human he was a high ranking businessman. While still a formal person on the outside he had a perverse interest in the occult that he hid from the rest of his coworkers.

Due to his important position and large pay he manages to get his hands on some rare books on demon summoning. After a lot of research he tries them out.

When he summons you he doesn't look surprised or afraid and is quite clinical about it at first. The first thing he does is bind your powers so they can never be used against him. After he informs the rules you must follow if you're to be living with him.

Even as a human he is quite prideful and controlling and he wants to remind you who's really in charge.

At first he only sees you as a demon. He lets you do your own thing when he isn't ordering you around and when the two of you do go out in public he only introduces you as an acquaintance of his. People are rather surprised at this as he's not the type to walk around with others and rumors quickly fly off about you two.

It's not until you two are walking home from a shopping trip that you really start to bond. It was a late night and no one was around so the two of you take your time, enjoying the cool air and stars.

All too late that you hear the click of a gun. From the shadows steps a man, weapon pointed straight at you. Seeing your nonthreatening human form as well as Lucifer who practically reeks of wealth he thought the two of you easy targets. Wrong.

With inhuman speed you lunge forward shifting into your demon form. The gun clatters to the floor as you rip him to shreds with no remorse. It's only when Lucifer finally calls you away that you realize he's dead.

Once you manage to get home he is immediately lecturing you about how risky the actions you just did were. Someone could have seen you or more importantly seen him. What would you have done if the cops got involved? Eat them?

Once he's done though he thanks you and a few days later a gift ends up in your room. He never claims it, even though you can smell his cologne all over it.

After that night Lucifer treats you different. Not better, but not worse either. If anything he's a bit kinder but in a cold sort of way and he keeps his distance when anything gets too serious. At first you think its because he's scared of you. It isn't till he finally approaches you, a stern look on his face and orders you to transform that you realize he was working up the courage to see what you really looked like.

The pact urges you to turn, so you do and you let him examine you, circling several times. He's most interested in your wings, asking if he could touch them and when you consent he gently runs his hands over them. Despite you being a demon he treats you delicately shifting aside feathers with a careful hand and running a light fingertip over leathery skin.

It's a strange feeling at first, but not bad and you're practically purring by the end

After that he asks to see your true form more and more

Mammon

He didn't mean to summon you.

He just wanted to make a quick buck. It was getting close to Halloween people were starting to be interested in demons and spooks once again. That's why he thought it would be a great idea to start a seance business.

Twenty dollars for him to pretend to summon a demon, maybe shake a table once or twice, have some scary sounds playing in the background, nothing too big. Who would have known that the book he stole as his main prop would really work.

When he first sees you he screams.

He immediately tries to shove you back into the book to no avail. As he has no clue how to get rid of you he ends up stuck with you, a terrifying demon.

At first its very easy (and amusing) to scare him. Bear your teeth, mumble in a made up language, threaten to rip him to shreds.

You can actually see his soul leave his body when he faints.

However in typical Mammon fashion he gets used to you surprisingly quick, especially when you don't come through on your promise to eat him.

After that he figures that together the two of you could start scamming people for even more money. After all, he does own a real live demon now.

You two make bank stealing and tricking people. With his knack for creating schemes and your powers the two of you are rolling in money in no time, although it always seems to be lost pretty quickly thanks to his terrible gambling habits.

It's in the middle of a heist that something goes wrong. Someone, you don't know who you can only hear the click of a revolver, pulls out a gun. With lightning fast reflexes you’re tackling Mammon shielding him with the tip of your wing and just in time as something is shot into it tearing through muscle and sinew.

The urge to rip them to shreds overtakes you, growing with every second that your human is in danger. But there was so many of them and you couldn't protect Mammon and yourself at the same time. The need to get somewhere safe is much more important so you leave.

It's only your quick reflexes that get the two of you out alive.

When you finally get home Mammon laments over all of the money he lost on the deal. acts like it doesn't affect him. His complaints last exactly till he sees the blood staining your form.

He almost faints right there.

Once he recovers he's immediately running to get ice packs and gauze, fussing over your injured wing. It's obvious he’s worried even though he tries to hide it under his tsundere act. When you’re finally bandaged up he thanks you glancing at your wound the entire time.

It's hard not to appreciate the gesture.

You just don't know how to tell him that your going to be perfectly fine in like two days (thank Diavolo for demon healing)

After this you two are a lot closer. Even before you were friends, but now the relationship has morphed into something different.

The two of you do less dangerous scams and while Mammon doesn't act too different he gets super weird when you're too close. Blushing a terrible crimson and freaking out when you touch.

Even for a demon its not hard to see that he has a crush.

Levi

Also summoned you on accident.

He was actually trying to summon Ruri-chan. You have to admit when it comes to her he does his research. Drew a full pentagram and everything and as a final touch placed a little plushy in the middle.

He absolutely panics when you arrive here instead.

Used to humans being afraid you, you ignore him at first. You fall to one knee eager to pledge your loyalty in exchange for his soul when you land on something squishy.

Pulling it out from under you see a plushy??? Of some anime character??? TF???

This pulls him from his stupor and he snatches it from you and begins to lecture you on the importance of Ruri-chan and anime on human culture.

You have no clue whats going on at this point.

When he finally stops talking he actually gets kind of excited. He summoned a hot demon??? Woah! This is just like his anime 'I accidentally summoned a demon from Hell who became my roommate and now I might be falling for them.' 

At your confused look he immediately turns it on and has you watch it. You two end up having an entire movie night together.

After that the two of you mostly act like roommates.

He often compares you to his favorite series TSL where 7 humans summon a demon named Henry and go on crazy adventures with him. The first time he accidentally calls you Henry he blushes like crazy.

At first he acted like you were annoying him most of the time but it was pretty easy to catch on to his tsundere act. He actually loves having you around and will whine when you have to leave. He says its because he can't play two player games without you but you know the truth.

On the rare occasions the two of you go out he gets jealous of anyone with even the slightest interest in you. Your HIS demon why are you giving someone else your attention?

Its pretty easy to distract him though. Just the slightest touch and hes flushing and stuttering. You can do whatever he won't get the hint that you like him the most.

'There's no way you meant to do this. This must be some weird demon norm I don't know about. Yup that's it.'

Satan

Summoned a demon on purpose. And not just that summoned you on purpose.

With his extensive library he had more than enough information to figure out how to summon a demon. After that it was just a matter of choosing which one. He finally settled on you.

You don't need to worry about explaining how a pact works to him. He already knows everything on it. Maybe even more than you. Nerd.

Don't express this opinion out loud. He will be furious.

Even so he'll still make you tell him about summoning a million times just to see if you know anything different.  

Mostly you’re an over glorified assistant/labrat to him. MC grab that book. MC draw this summoning circle. MC stick your hand in this flame.

Of any of the brothers he is the one who sees your demon form the most and the one who asks the most questions about it. You have very sharp claws what are those used for? Four sets of wings? I wonder why you have so many. Slitted eyes? Do you have any idea why they are like this?

He is very interested in the differences between humans and demons so you end up performing a lot of tests.

He would also be curious about the celestial war and your part in it. Its up to you to choose to answer him or not.

If you ignore any of his questions he will get annoyed and be snippy. But just tell him an interesting tidbit about hell and he'll be back to normal in no time.

As for his actual job he works as a researcher at a big lab. You go there often to help him with his work. He used to have a lot of assistants but none could handle his terrible rage.

Its one of the reasons you work so well with him. An angry human? That's no big deal. Now if he was a demon that would be something to talk about

His tantrums are actually kind of cute. Like a fussy kitten.

Telling him this has a 50/50 chance of either making him blush or rampage.

If its possible he uses you to annoy his colleagues

Janice talked shit about his theories on planetary alignment? Poison her

Jk not really but maybe just, like, make her day a hundred times worse?

Thanks MC you're great

A power team at its best. His need to get back at people he hates works well with your general need to cause mischief 

Asmodeus

An orgy summons you obvious reasons. Although technically not the one who summoned you, you end up making a pact with Asmodeus before the nights over.

It was inevitable really, of all the humans there how could you not choose him? His overblown confidence and cocky insistence that he was perfect was practically adorable. I mean here you are, a demon of all things, and yet this little human is here insisting that he was perfection himself. You just wanted to eat his soul right up he was so cute.

To him its obvious why. After all, he was so beautiful that even demons fell in love with him, he couldn't blame you.

Even if you tell him the real reason he won't believe it.

Immediately starts bragging about how he could seduce demons

If you leave a pact mark on him though he will complain

As for actual duties you don't have a lot

At parties you work as his wingman but at home the two of you have more of a domestic role. He treats you more like a best friend than a demon.

He has a lot of spa days, something he immediately insisted that you take part in too.

One day you bring him a bottle of demon moisturizer. Big mistake

When he finds out about all the different demon beauty products he immediately orders you to get him some.

Your poor wallet.

He's always ordering new things. He really wants to go down to Devildom so he could look himself instead of having to order off Akuzon. One day you'll figure out a way to show him the eternal night.

He's also very flirty towards you, something your not surprised about. Hes always on your lap or petting your head or asking for affection, and he constantly alludes to the things the two of you could do. As time goes on he begins to get even more needy, sometimes ignoring others at parties just to flirt with you. He wants all of your attention all of the time.

Beelzebub

Did not mean to summon you but now that your here hes pretty okay with it

Of all the brothers he the one to treat you the most like another human.  

However you have one duty that you take very seriously

You must protect his brother, no matter what.

Other than that you two are like roommates. He doesn't really ask you of much except to keep the fridge stocked (which is a bigger job than expected this guy eats a lot) and he'll take care of the rent and everything else.

Sometimes he'll ask if you want to head to the gym with him. You thank your demon metabolism since every time you end up going he always stops for burgers and shakes at his favorite place on the way home.

He lifts a lot for a human, no surprise since you've seen how sculpted his body is. Seriously he's like a Greek statue. You spot him while doing reps and help correct his form while necessary. It's a bit of a switch from dealing with demon biology to human biology though so you have to make sure that you don't accidentally hurt your new friend.

Sometimes the two of you have movie nights, although its more of an excuse for him to buy a bunch of human food and you to buy a bunch of demon food and pig out. He still manages to out eat you somehow.

Occasionally the two of you will go out with his brother Belphie although it usually ends up with either you or Beel carrying him when he falls asleep. But it gives you time to chat with Beel on your own which you don't mind

The two of you end up with a good bromance, sometimes minus the b.

He treats you like an old friend and even ends up telling you about Lilith, his dear sister who died when a car hit her. He had only managed to pull his brother out of the way at the time and he still remembers it well. You can practically smell the guilt that hangs off him when he tells you that. It's hard not to feel touched after that story even for a demon.

He confesses a lot of things to you, things he has a hard time saying to other people. He never calls upon his pact to swear you to secrecy. He trusts you.

Belphie

Also summons you on purpose

When you first meet Belphie he's angry, uncontrollably angry. It's at the point where it almost surprises you. After all a human filled with so much wrath is no small feat.

His first order is a tough one but one you have no choice but to accept. 

Kill the man that murdered his sister

The two of you work hard to hunt him down, spending many days brainstorming late into the night. Although it always ends up with just you working, as Belphie has the strangest tendency to fall asleep while talking. (Narcoleptic maybe? Or just lazy?) Whatever the case you don't terribly mind.

Even just his presence helps, in some strange way.

When you finally track him down Belphie insists on going too. He wants to see the man die with his own two eyes.

It's not a hard fight but it is an emotional one. Through the bond you two share you can feel Belphies anger, his pain, his desire for revenge, and then finally an emptiness.

When its over the two of you go home, still covered in whatever bits of him were left. Belphegor shows no emotions and you wonder if hes in shock from seeing someone die so suddenly, but all you feel is a tired yet content thrum through your bond.

When you finally get home Belphegor immediately tries to go to sleep and its only through a little nagging and a lot of manhandling that your able to convince him to shower first. By now the bloods beginning to dry into a nasty goop and once he's done you jump in too, soothed by the steam and clouds of soap drifting around you.

To no ones surprise Belphie is asleep when you get out. It's then when you realize that you have nothing left to do. 

With that one action your purpose here is done, and yet your pact remains. Your thoughts begin to rise Belphie who clings stubbornly to sleep. It's no use though. The two of you are too connected for it to stop. 

You hear the sheets rustle and he raises one hand patting at the covers. A universal sign to come here.

"You're so loud" He mutters even though you haven't said a word. "Just sleep already."

A useless answer but a comforting one. You curl up at his side, feeling the tiniest bit like an obedient dog, but his arm settles over your shoulder and he drapes himself over your chest erasing the thoughts from your mind.

You eyes flutter close, at least for the moment. You can decide what you should do when you wake up.

[lilypixels]

Izzy’s Dag-Dag The Artist… Tag

By @morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy

~ Rules ~

Show us a rendition of yourself in your own art! Can be anything! Sims render? Random stick figure? Picrew? Go nuts! (Just be sure to tag the artist if you use someone else’s picrew!!!!) Tag the blogs you want to know, and don’t be a dick that’s it! Also, feel free to answer as vague or in-depth as you want. And if you don’t want to answer a question for any reason just don’t vibe with it! Skip it if you wanna! Also make sure you tag me and use #dagdagtheartisttag so I can see it!!!!!!!!

This is a bit long so i’m just gonna...

~Questions~

1.) Do you prefer to be referred to by your name or blog name? Both are fine! I don’t care much about what people refer to me as in general and have had someone on here call me lily once

2.) Where are you from? I won’t say exact, but I live in the middle of USA (I can’t wait to move-)

3.) Do you have pets? 👀 Yes! 3 dogs and 2 cats, tho only one cat is truly “mine”

4.) Tell us about your “dream”. uhh like where I want to be in life? what I want to do? um I’m still working on the exact job title, but I wish to do research at a natural history/science museum (sorta like archives or collections manager, but neither of those are quite right i think). Otherwise, I just hope to adopt and even foster kids cause my life would not be complete without little ones :3 (spouse/partner optional lol) 

5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies? Randomly researching things that grasp my attention, games...lots of games, reading, watching tv, coloring (wait does that count as art-), uhhh spacing out

6. )Does anyone irl know about your blog? yeah, but mostly just know about, not like see my posts i guess

7.)Do you know anyone from your blog irl? not outside of just chatting on discord

8.) What are some fun facts about you? I’ve had some poems published before (it was with entering a poetry contest), I have surprisingly good balance, my brain is not properly awake/functioning until 10am which has led to me almost using soap as toothpaste a few times too many, I have a birthmark on my finger (bonus: it sorta changes color/how noticeable it is depending on how hot or cold I am lol, i call it a mini thermometer cause of this), apparently Lion King was my Disney movie obsession as a kid...oh and I have a certificate in cryptozoology lolz

9.) What’s your day job? i work as a private nanny/glorified babysitter (i don’t live with them or drive but work regular hours through week and as needed; even join the occasional vacation with them)

10.) Do you have a celebrity look alike? i don’t think so; a girl in high school once said I look like Cameron Diaz tho-

11.) What’s your aesthetic? for my blog I think it’s becoming like dark academia meets cottage core?? idk for myself...who knows

12.) What kind of artist are you? the tired kind lol

13.) How did you get into your form of art? if we’re looking at sims, uhhh well I just happened to learn about cc one day, then happened upon simblr, saw edits, and thought I’d give a try cause I can’t draw but I need a creative outlet so this worked for me

14.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create? if I do anything, its listen to music; music is generally random based on what I feel like but more recently its been 2d anime groups (idolish7, hypnosis mic, etc)

15.) What is your favorite of your own creations so far?  lets see...this, this, and this edit wise I think

16.) How would you describe your art style? idk chaos

17.) What is more satisfying to you coloring or outlining? coloring, I like coloring 

18.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

19.) What character from any media form do you most identify with? oh gosh uhhhh there’s a few but I’ll say Iori and Sogo from Idolish7 since they come to mind first lol. Iori is a fellow aquarius who hides his interests and agonizes over past slipups even a year later, others have legit moved on but he’s still stuck on it (that was true moment I was like “omg you are aquarius” lol cause yeah meee). Sogo i heavily relate to as well cause he’s,,,very nice and hides his own feelings, putting others before himself (but when right buttons get pushed, he can be scary lol) so yeah, those two

20.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to? I’ve never thought of this...no clue

21.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names? I have changed names, yes; I used to be silverine-sims but after a time i didn’t ~vibe~ with it

22.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose?  page songs like adding playlist to blog? i mean its possible already with bit of coding and I used to have one set up but uh one song huh? gosh um I guess Twisted Hearts by tasuku hatanaka; it was op for Moriarty the Patriot s2 and I’m pretty obsessed with it rn 

23.) Oh yeah, I’m still on the MySpace train and I’m starting discourse! Who’s your top 8? my brain refuses to think and rank; i have trouble with choices and that extends to favorites,,

24.) Did you understand those references or did you have to look them up? (I’m fully aware I’m ancient, but are you?) i know of myspace but otherwise i have no clue what all it entailed

25.) One last question; why are you like that? I grew up watching Secret Saturdays, He-Man, Teen Titans, Danny Phantom, and Spongebob idk what to tell ya ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dag dag?

Now tag tag!!!

I know not all of you will do this or was tagged by izzy already but I’m tagging everyone I can think of anyway-

@cyansimblr @neriney @lunchsims @waysims @klayde @sinfulwunders @void-imp @ladykendalsims @lazysunjade @almost-spring @smolteabirb @lunaziie @clumsyghostie​ and uh uh anyone else cause its too early and my brain just quit

[babiesdreams]

The mirror +18 Doyoung Hogwarts au Part 2 This 2 fics are important. Really, read them if you wanna keep up w/ everything

Part 1 is in here (For context). Alsooo, as I said in the first part, I do not stand by what the Harry Potter creator says/thinks about the trans community. Don’t hate on trans people, trans lives matter.

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: sexual content, fem1 reader

It’s been weeks and you were really dying to know what Doyoung saw on the reflection of the mirror, but he always refuses to tell you. At this point you really believe it must be something really embarrassing, since he wasn’t talking about it. 

Your best friend, Donghyuck, has been telling you how you shouldn’t trust him. The Gryffindor boy always hated on Slytherins and Doyoung always got on his nerves. The two of them were constantly fighting about completely unimportant things. 

“I’m sure he saw your dead body” Haechan says with a creepy tone.  “For god’s sake Donghyuck, he’s not the devil. He’s just a student” He chuckles “You know who else was just a student. Yes, you got it. Tom Riddle” He says in an ironic tone that really gets on your nerves. “He doesn’t want me dead okay?” You say angrily.

“Who wants you dead?” Doyoung says from behind of you. “What did you see in the mirror?” Haechan says getting closer to him, trying to intimidate him, but Doyoung’s eyes are only looking at you with a serious yet hurted expression. “You told him?” He says slowly. “I-I didn’t mean to-” You stutter, trying to explain yourself but he just furrows his brows and walks away, completely furious. 

“Fight me you stupid” Haechan shouts at him but he doesn’t seem to care as much, his body turns back, looking at the Gryffindor boy and he simply says “Aqua eructo” Pointing his wand at the boy. Inmediately a jet of water emerges from the tip of his wand, wettening Haechan’s body.

“See? The devil” Haechan whispers once he’s gone. You hit his arm, completely mad at him, but also wasn’t all the fault on yours? Weren’t you the one who told him about that personal and intimate moment?

“I gotta go” You say, holding tears from falling down your cheeks. You get to the girls bathroom, to hide from everyone around. Your tears quickly start floading, in between loud whines. Moaning myrtle’s ghost starts talking to you instantly almost like tears and cries called her soul everytime.

“Who made you this sad?” She coos at you. You look at her, kind of disgusted, knowing how annoying she could get sometimes. “I don’t wanna talk” You simply whisper. “It was a boy right? Boys are so cruel” She says crying out loud. You look at her fiercely and shout “GO” 

She shakes at the fierce and scary reaction. “Leave me alone” You scream at her. She ends up leaving with loud cries that get to your mind, making it hurt like crazy. Gosh you hated that annoying ghost.

------------------------------------------------

You’ve been trying to apologize to Doyoung for weeks in different ways, but he always found a way out, not even wanting to look into your eyes. So you decided to go with the harsh way. “Petrificus totalus” You say pointing at Doyoung’s figure. 

His body petrifies under the effect of the spell. His expression turns into an angry one before it gets frozen. His body surprisingly mantains the balance, which is rare on victims under this spell.

You start off explaining yourself. “I wasn’t conscious of how much that moment meant for you. I really thought you would talk about it with your friends too. I just... He’s my bestfriend, and I know he can get really annoying sometimes, but he’s a good guy. He was just scared, since you were a Slytherin, and he doesn’t really trusts Slytherins... I’m so sorry Doyoung. I should hae never done that, or even pressure you to tell me. I just don’t wanna lose you. I have been so afraid of losing you this past weeks. I had to petrify you so that you would listen” You say, as tears start appearing in your shiny eyes.

“I love you Doyoung. And It fucking hurts okay? I don’t know what to say or do to make you stay. But if I can do something, anything, please tell me... I really can’t imagine my life without you” You cry out, looking at his petrified angry expression. “Renervate” You finally say pointing at him with your wand. His body slowly returns to its natural form. 

His expression in no longer angry but sad. “You can do whatever you want. I just wanted to tell you” You say as you turn your back to him, wanting y¡to leave the room. Now filled with embarrasing moments for you. “I wasn’t mad” He says, stopping your steps. “I was just hurted. But you couldn’t know why. You don’t know what I saw” He explains.

But your tears don’t stop falling, His words wouldn’t stop your mind from blaming your actions. It wasn’t your fault? Yeah sure. You couldn’t know? Why would that even matter? You revealed an intimate moment between you two without his consent.

“Are you listening?” The boy says worriedly. “You deserve to be mad at me” You say controlling the tone of your breathy voice. “I’m not mad” He shouts “I don’t care” You answer, also screaming. “You should be mad. You should be hating me. Why aren’t you?” You shout at him and he looks at you with a serious gaze. “Because I love you”

His words replay in your mind, like something that you needed to hear, yet you were to scared about. “You want to know what I saw in the mirror?” He says, almost tearing up, but you shake your head. “It doesn’t matter anymore” you whisper as your lips get closer to his. Your lips collide together in a explosion of feelings.

“I missed you” He says under his breath. “Me too” You simply reply.

------------------------------------------

It’s been a couple of hours since Doyoung forgave you and your heart was already fluttering around. His arm pulls you into a room, an empty room, and instantly everything that happened that night replays on your head.

Doyoung’s lips are leaving wet marks on your neck, making your body shake due to the pleassure. “Let’s take it slow this time” You whisper at him and he nods. His black hair really looks great with the rooms lighting. His dark chocolate eyes are fixed on your lips, your soft and moist lips. 

His thumb caress it softly as if redrawing them. They tear apart slightly, leaving a gap in between your top and your bottom lip. “You look perfect” He says looking directly at your lips. “Stay by my side” He whispers in your ear and you simply nod.

His thumb slowly enters your mouth, getting wet with your saliva as it does. He’s completely focused on fucking your mouth with his fingers in a very sexual way that he forgets about everything else. Your mind is also focused on the slow movements of his finger passing through your wet lips over and over again. Your tongue moves slowly, caressing the tip of his finger as he keeps inserting it in.

You swear you could just have  cum right there by the mere actions of a finger in your mouth, which was quite embarrassing. The way he moves tho... He doesn’t need a spell to control you, his words are more than enough. His free hand finally travels along your curves, The way his fingertips brush your skin makes you shake slightly, in anticipation.

He reaches your cunt, drawing a straight line through your clothed folds. His thumb is fully inside of your mouth, not moving now. His lips get close to your neck, pressing a soft kiss on it “I love you” He whispers against your skin before his tongue licks it off slowly. “I fucking love you” He repeats and you can’t contain yourself from humming against his thumb.

He chuckles, knowing exactly what you wanted to say, and keeps going. His tongue getting dangerously close to your breasts. Your hands fastly remove your clothes from his way, wearing only your underwear now. “Good girl” He growls against your collarbone. He licks his way down until he reaches the limit of your bra. 

As if reading his mind you unclip it, letting it fall down right after. His lips trap your left nipples, sucking it in slowly. His teeth slightly caress your skin as he dows, making you gasp. His lips slowly get away from your chest, making your nipple slide out. He then straight up bites the sensitive skin. His teeth are gentle tho, only making you feel a slight hint of pain in between all the pleasure.

His hand is still on your cunt, drawing circles around your clothed clit, making your panties completely wet and uncomfortable to wear. If his thumb wasn’t on your mouth you’ll be moaning out loud, letting the whole school know just how good he’s fucking you. But instead you’re only able to hum around his wet digit.

His fingers slide your panties down, letting them fall to the ground, the sensation of the cold air and the relief of not having a wet spot brushing your cunt is absolutely perfect. You don’t have much time to think about it tho, because his fingers quickly enter your dripping wet pussy, slowly yet deeply.

You wanna scream his name so that he knows just how much you’re enjoying it, but it doesn’t seem to be needed by him. He can tell just how much you’re enjoying it purely based on the wet fluids coming out of your cunt. 

His mouth finally atacks the other nipple, that was completely abandoned. His lips repeat the actions he previously did with your other nipple. You let out a whimp around his thumb, which he gets out of your mouth, leaving a wet trail of saliva connecting his digit to your lips. It’s a split second though, just before he gets his index and middle finger inside, filling your mouth again.

You hum in protest but he doesn’t really listen. His fingers get faster inside of you, curving themselves as they do, instantly making your body shake out of pleassure. His actions come to a stop shortly after as his fingers slowly pull out of you, making some of your juices fall to the ground from his fingers.

His fingers get out of your mouth as well. “On four” He simply orders, and eventhough you wanna protest you simply obligue, getting on the said position fastly. He’s busy removing his clothes, on your back. “I love you too Doyoung” You are finally able to reply as he gets undressed. The boy chuckles at your cute confession.

“I know baby” He says kneeling down and inserting his tip in you. You whimper loudly and he sighs. “You have to be quiet if you don’t wanna get us expelled” He says and you nod as if understanding, but deep down you know you will not be able to control sounds from coming out of your mouth.

He puts his hand on your mouth making your body follow his arm. Your back touches his chest slightly getting the boy’s sweat on you. His dick gets inside of you fully as you do. His hips move fast as if he had been retraining them all this time. “Have I ever told you how good you look like this?” You shake your head and he smirks. 

“You look perfect like this, when I fuck you” He whispers in your ear, leaving goosebumps all over your body. And it’s true, the way the lights reflect on your body, as it shakes, covered by shiny sweat is really a mesmerzing view. “Now you are gonna cum for me as I do okay?” He says softly and you nod, already feeling a wave of arousal coming.

Your body shakes when you feel his hot cum filling you out. “Fuck” You whisper loudly once he removes his hand from your mouth. He pulls out of you, letting his cum fall to the ground and he sits down, catching his breath back in.

“I need to tell you” He says in between heavy breathes. “About the mirror” He starts saying with a shaky voice, but his figure starts dissapearing without he even noticing. You gasp in surprise, not knowing what was happening. “I saw” His breathy voice says just before his whole body vanishes away.

You’re really shocked, not knowing what to say or do or think. You never saw this kind of magic before and he for sure wasn’t controlling it. Your eyes keep looking at the spot where his body used to be, thinking to yourself if all of this had been just your pure imagination tricking your brain. 

------------------------------

To be continued.

Masterlist –requests open– How to request?  Check out your score.

[literaphobe]

season one of she-ra rated by catradora content

the sword part 1: right off the bat we find out just what adora’s all about. she’s a so called goody two shoes but she’ll lie to authority to protect catra.... ok lesbian lmao. but then we meet catra and she’s like “hey adora ;) how’s it hanging?” and we get it. we completely get it. oh my god. everything from the way catra talks to the way she laughs. adora never stood a chance :( we get a classic locker room flirting scene where catra teases adora and adora pretends she’s above all that only to be like hey cat gf is that a MOUSE which is very rude :( don’t scare ur cat gf or she will become evil :( oh wait. anyway.... their flirting gets cut short because homophobia walks in and separates them :/ before that tho she praises adora. adora who loves her gf so much ignores shadow weaver’s praise and says “catra did so good tho <3” and puts her arm around catra which pisses off the only homophobe in etheria. adora doesn’t really want to follow shadow weaver because she just wants to be with catra, and she even argues with shadow weaver about bringing catra onto the field with her. but she loses the argument because shadow weaver fucking sucks and has no idea how to be chill :/ catra finds adora after that and greets adora the way all gals greet their pals. by... pouncing on her waist. ok lol. catra is so proud of her gf getting promoted and says baby i love you <3 baby when are we leaving <3 except adora says catra’s not allowed to come :( so cat gf gets sad and runs to the roof. in response, adora gets a literal Grappling Hook to chase after her. adora doesn’t want her gf to be sad so she steals a skiff and they go on a date <3 but they’re so obsessed with control and play fighting with each other that adora falls off the skiff and finds out she’s like. god with a sword. i mean she-ra. uh, so adora fake wakes up in a dream and is like catra? :( because catra is the only thing she ever looks for when she wakes up (yes i am clowning. of course i know catra was the only person she was with but shhhh), and then she wakes up for real and catra is straddling her waist, which... ok. catra worries about her gf maybe being brain damaged so they cut their date short and go back to the fright zone. they go to sleep, and have their nightly sleepover, which means they sleep in the same bed :) even tho catra’s own bed is already on top of adora’s :) superb :) anyway adora dreams about her lesbian sword and wakes up scared. she smiles when she sees catra sleeping soundly in her bed however because uwu cat gf go zzzzz. adora gets out of bed which catra IMMEDIATELY senses because she opens her eyes right after and follows adora. because uh.... their friendship is just that lit and strong. catra is worried and wants to follow her gf to find this cool lesbian sword she keeps talking about, but adora makes perhaps one of the worst calls ever and tells catra to stay behind because she doesn’t want to get catra in trouble :( which is like, she has good intentions and all, but you should always bring your gymnast cat gf along when u look for sick ass gay swords. adora would know that if she wasn’t raised by the literal embodiment of gay oppression. oh well. guess they’re gonna have to fight each other for five seasons to figure it out. 9.5/10 because we got so much content all literally in the first ep. it’s like hey look they’re in love and they’re girlfriends who touch each other way too much. and we’re like noelle that’s really cool! will we get more gf content? and noelle said yes but also you’ve got a big storm coming! and it’s going to kill you!

the sword part 2: against adora’s wishes, catra gets in trouble for adora’s departure, and this makes catra sad bc where did her gf go? :( shadow weaver accuses catra of knowing where adora is because despite her raging homophobia she still knows that adora wouldn’t go anywhere without telling catra. and she’s right but just because she’s right doesn’t mean i have to like her. anyway... catra gets sent to bring adora back to the fright zone, and even tho shadow weaver threatens her in scary horrid ways catra is only happy to see adora again and once again pins her to the ground with her knees on adora’s.... yea........ and she’s happy bc she has a tank :) good for u catra we all love and cherish you <3333 anyway catra makes fun of adora because she thought adora got captured which... technically true but also not but also! catra sees a flower in adora’s hair which she takes to mean that adora cheated on her :( wtf :( and adora says no baby :( no i didn’t cheat on u :( and catra is like. ok fine. let’s go back to the horde. and adora says baby we can’t go back to the horde :( did u know that they were evil? im woke now. come be woke with me. and catra is like. wait. u just realized the horde sucks? did you not see shadow weaver electrocute me. did you think she did that for gay rights? and adora is like catra baby i didn’t mean it like that :( but it’s too late. it’s all very upsetting and i don’t wanna get into it. essentially catra thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse by fighting the horde from within but adora thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse and the horde’s evil by literally escaping the horde. u can see where both of them are coming from and that’s why it’s so sad :( it’s so fucking sad y’all :( they do their whole. come with me vs stay with me thing,,, and it doesn’t work out. duh it’s like ep 2 why would it work out. catra finds out that adora can use her lesbian sword to turn into a taller lesbian and instead of giving into her gayness and marrying adora right away her internalized homophobia makes her run away :( she thought adora doesn’t care about her anymore because she has new friends and can turn into a giant sword lady :( and it’s all very sad :( 8.5/10

razz: adora’s having trouble turning into she-ra. no one asked, but based on this whole show, it’s because she just broke up with catra and that hit hard :( it’s pretty hard to turn into ur superhero alter ego when you’re yearning. back at the horde, catra is also yearning. she is bitter because everyone is raving about how lit she-ra is and catra is like yeah she-ra is sexy but can we have a discussion about how she-ra breaks your heart. how she-ra makes you cry. how she-ra abandons you for new friends and doesn’t want to be your gf anymore? have we considered that? and everyone is confused because why does catra seem like she knows she-ra so well. didn’t you just meet her catra? and even tho catra is a bitter ex who’s angry and wants revenge she’s still like. in love with adora and wants to protect her. so she acts cool and doesn’t tell anyone that adora is she-ra. even tho lonnie tells catra not to be so feral because “adora’s not here to protect you anymore” catra still wants to protect adora. okay. yes the thought of that does make me wanna cry. what about it. catra goes and lies on their shared adora’s bed. and she sees the teeny drawing of catra and adora on the bed frame. it reminds catra of the break up and she scratches adora’s picture. she regrets it like instantly and starts destroying the bed. and she cries. she like cries real tears what the FUCK. and then SHADOW WEAVER WALKS IN?? rude much?? can’t a girl get some privacy as she mourns a break up with a girl she’s been in love with her whole life but technically never dated for real? 9/10

flowers for she-ra: adora realizes that it’s a pretty bad idea to break up with your girlfriend when you spent your whole life sleeping in the same room/same bed as her and she comes to the Very Shocking realization that she gasp! cannot sleep without catra! wow who would have thought! so she immediately goes on a search for a sleeping partner rebound... who is glimmer (sorry glimmer it’s her first time not having her gf) and she even sleeps at glimmer’s feet the way we saw catra sleep at adora’s feet. really makes you wonder if catra and adora take turns doing that? sleeping at each other’s feet because their internalized homophobia (thanks a lot shadow bitch) prevented them from going a step further and sleeping in each other’s arms... oh well. meanwhile, catra is gloating about being force captain, but she’s also Still protecting adora’s identity as she-ra. and apparently, drawing pictures of she-ra? that she hid from shadow weaver? is that what happened? i can’t tell if she drew that picture or not but the way it looks from the scene she Definitely drew that picture! hello????? anyway, catra’s still crying to anyone that has ears about how her gf dumped her, when really it was kind of a mutual break up that was entirely shadow weaver’s fault even tho she wasn’t there. sigh. i’m bringing this up to a 7/10 because of “it’s just a phase! she’s confused, i’ll bring her back, i swear :(“

the sea gate: “i’ve got something more important to do” and here we see the start of catra literally abandoning all other duties because she would rather go flirt with her enemy gf... she literally hopped onto she-ra’s sword.... she insult her gf....... she brag to her gf about achievement.... but she also want her gf back :( adora refuses to go back to the land of oppression tho so they get into a. really suggestive fight. and catra always makes adora leaving the horde out to be adora leaving her.... she’s like babe i am literally so sexy. why would you dump me :( i’m hot :( and she’s right but i hate them. can y’all just like. not be so gay? :/ it’s starting to make me a lil bit homophobic tbh! and catra whispers into adora’s ear but it’s kind of like an insult so she gets water slapped and is forced to stop flirting :( boooo 8.5/10

system failure: hm. catra wasn’t in this ep? damn :( it’s a great ep but it’s pretty hard to find any catradora if adora is delirious the whole time and catra isn’t there. but! drunk/high adora existing gives us an idea of what she would be like around catra. 1/10 for the potential

in the shadows of mystacor: catra’s face when she sees adora in shadow weaver’s spy cam thing... interesting. she also acts like she’s So Sick of the adora missions which is true but also she is lying. kind of annoying that shadow weaver would be like. homophobic. but when she’s messing with adora’s head in mystacor she uses catra’s voice and laugh to achieve maximum effect :/ which like. thanks? but catra wasn’t actually there so shadow weaver really full on gaybaited adora huh :/ adora eventually defeats shadow weaver and we finally see catra again uwu she ends up plotting to kidnap bow and glimmer but the line “if you want to take down adora, you have to go for the heart” is so interesting because we eventually find out just how much of adora’s heart is filled with catra... 4/10 on its own 6/10 if you let the heart comment ruin your life!

princess prom: ARE Y’ALL READY TO PARTY oh my god,,, this is it you guys. this is THE ep. so funny of adora to be like. i have so many plans for every single thing that might happen. i am GOING to spend the party getting princess frosta to join the rebellion. and then catra shows up and adora is like nvm. what if i followed catra wherever she went instead. which is very interesting! adora, sweet baby, why do you always assign yourself to fight/follow/chase catra? when according to her in future eps is actually a bad decision which we can infer from her saying stuff like catra knows my every move she will be able to take me down,, ok then stop hogging her all the time?? anyway. let’s get into things chronologically. “how dare those princesses pretend they’re better than you? just because you’re different? how dare they abandon people just because they don’t fit in with their perfect little lives? how DARE they take best friends and turn them into giant sword ladies who run off with people clearly inferior to you?!” catra.... u got sth to say there buddy? :/ u got something u wanna get off your chest? :/ u had us in the beginning but then you started to get really specific :/ what’s that about sweetie :/ catra’s coping mechanism for this is to put on a really hot suit and going to princess prom to seduce the shit outta adora? fucking genius. yes she also kidnapped two people but let’s focus on the ingenuity of catra’s plan to make adora hot and heavy and also somehow jealous the entire time. incredible. so, catra shows up at the prom with scorpia and adora immediately starts bickering with her about rules. she fails to get catra kicked out so she resolves to stalk her instead! and catra... oh catra... she puts on a whole show..... performing everything from popping a tiny cake into her mouth to circling around a pillar seductively and dropping a note into a bin that says hi adora >:3 with a drawing of catra’s face that she worked hard on!! and adora looks like a crazy stalker ex gf and everyone is like damn.... u ok? :/ but adora doesn’t have time to care too much aside from a little “haha i swear i’m not a weirdo!” look because her mind is just screaming CATRA CATRA CATRA and she finds catra creeping up to entrapta. but ofc catra’s not trying to push entrapta off the ledge! no! she’s using entrapta to make adora jealous :3 catra pulls entrapta close and says “she stole my food and then asked me to spy on people with her. is this what love feels like?” and it WORKS and adora has to pull entrapta aside and be all hey i know we’re not super close yet but the bro code kinda states that u don’t date ur friend’s ex :/ so could you please back off? and entrapta is like say what now? ur gf just ditched btw so adora goes running after catra again and surprise surprise! it’s time to dance! and there are romantic lights and music! and uh oh! everyone else has a partner except for catra! guess this means adora’s gotta dance with her ohhhhh noooooooo :/ “i don’t know about you.... but i am having a blast” i really don’t think catra was lying!! i am on the verge of passing out!! adora moving away from catra after saying “whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work!” and catra, many dance partners later, slamming back into adora’s body to continue their conversation with “maybe my plan won’t work, but then again...” THE DIP!!!!!!! “maybe it already has...” oh my god you guys. what the fuck. like they get into an angry shove fight after this but the tension! the tension! and then adora LIFTS catra up in the air? real close? they get ice blocked by frosta after this, more specifically she traps adora because she shoved catra first djfjdjdjdjd,,, after telling glimmer to find bow catra grazes adora’s chin with her tail to remind her that she’s still here!! don’t neglect!! and catra says the iconic “it was fun distracting you though ;)” line that adora was clearly affected by because she memorizes it and says it back to catra..... years later. i CANNOT make any of this shit up. what the fuck y’all. the fact that these evaluations are so long bother me but i HAVE to call these hoes out!! moving on, adora runs after catra in a very dramatic chase/fight scene, and adora is very amped up on uh, hormones. she catches catra at a “dead end” and goes “hah! trapped >:)” which is such a stupid thing to say to ur cat gf who can jump very high, so catra says “you wish ;)” and it is just. everything they are saying sounds very suggestive okay why are they LIKE THIS anyway catra jumps up some floating ice and adora follows her up the floating ice because she’s gay and she will jump however much is required of her to chase her gf down ok!! and so adora and catra are now on some ice cliff where adora keeps lunging and they’re also kind of like dancing? and catra is being very ~smooth~ dodging all of adora’s strikes and hitting her in one move. that’s kind of cool but also don’t bully your gf :( come on catra :( not cool :( but adora doesn’t give up and they continue fighting, until one missed move from catra nearly sends her off the cliff. but adora thinks she’s hot and she’s in love with her so she’s like nooo catra don’t fall off this cliff ur so sexy aha and catches her by. the waist. not the hand! but by the waist. any normal person would’ve gone for the hand. factually speaking, catra’s hand is easier to reach than her waist. but adora’s a hoe. so, she grabs catra by the waist and pulls her in closer by grabbing! oh you guessed it! her chest! like she grabs her shirt but it’s the part of the shirt that was at the chest. what the fuck. they both get this look in their eye that makes it seem like they want to kiss each other???? hello????????? and like. very upsettingly we now know that they’ve always wanted to kiss each other so. that knowledge makes watching this scene even worse. they shouldn’t have become enemies if they were going to be this horny. they’re so distracted by each other’s lips that they forget they’re standing at the edge of a cliff and guess what! they fall off the cliff! what a twist! but adora is like i’m NOT going to die because i was distracted by catra’s lips, so she grabs her hair stick thing and stabs it into the ice cliff. she grabs catra by the hand to save her, not the waist this time, because holding catra’s hand is also gay so she might as well do it. too bad catra lets go of her hand and ditches her tho :( i would minus points for that except it wouldn’t make much of a difference. catra says “see you later, princess ;)” because she’s already expecting to see adora again.... good lord 4828473737373/10 thanks noelle! i died

no princess left behind: but i’m a buddhist so i’m back. we open with catra laughing so prettily looking at her gf’s lesbian sword. very cute. later on, when shadow weaver betrays catra and tells her to go pack her things because she’s not needed anymore... adora gives her this look? :( she looks like she feels bad because catra’s clearly still suffering under shadow weaver’s thumb. but let’s zero in on the most important part! catra dragging the sword and pointing it at adora, before turning it around and giving it to her. “this is NOT because i like you” ok catra i didn’t think that before but now i Absolutely believe that you did this because you like adora. and u can tell adora kind of is like. ready to start her whole “you can come with me! we can be together! :(“ thing but things are complicated and catra told her to Just Go so... it is a lot and we know things are deeper than just catra liking adora but we will get emo over that later. 9/10 that was a good fucking scene

the beacon: “she left me behind too, like i was nothing :(“ some people say this is catra manipulating entrapta, and they are correct, but also she’s like.. “oh adora left you too? mad kin :(“ she was deadass about to start a support group with entrapta and technically she kind of did! good for them <3 catra goes to look for first ones tech and adora goes to look for the beacon to learn how to heal and guess what happens! they’re looking for the same place! catra’s “on second thought... hey adora >;)” at the end pushes this up to an 8/10, but that’s just like the last five seconds of the ep so objectively the rest of the ep was like. 4/10 idk lmaoooo

promise: finally some good fucking food. catra follows adora into the beacon and has a little fun spying on her and enjoying her epic fails at getting information on she-ra. she also finds the first one tech she needs, because she’s a multitasker and she can spy on her gf while doing important missions <3 but also she gets caught and adora nearly kills her fksjdjd “hey watch it! >:(“ is so funny because catra??? u are trespassing???? but also uwu baby yeah don’t accidentally kill ur gf adora :( adora’s reaction is also very funny “catra? what are you doing here? :O” as if catra hasn’t shown up at 70% of the places adora has been, but the way she asks it’s like. adora is happy to see catra? pleasantly surprised? man she is whipped. anyway, adora tries to pull the Tough Girlfriend move and like, mildly scold catra for trespassing into a building where only one person (she-ra) is allowed to be in. but she still grabs catra’s hand and guides her to an escape path :’) she lifts up a giant door thing and waits until catra runs in to let go and run after her <3 chivalry isn’t dead after all <3 they get into a lover’s tiff as they run for their lives and essentially it’s like “babe wtf WHY are giant mutant spiders trying to kill us isn’t this ur house” “they’re trying to kill YOU this is why you ring the doorbell instead of running in secretly after i open the door!” “oh and how was i supposed to know that! why can’t you just tell your teenage mutant ninja spiders to chill out??” “they’re not house-trained babe :( i moved in two minutes ago they came with the apartment” anyway the angry spider monsters catch up to them so catra goes “adora? :(“ and that’s enough for adora to take Direct Action so she slashes the walls and ceiling of the room they’re in before grabbing catra to shield them both. she is NOT getting her deposit back but uwu anything to keep gf safe <3 adora transforms back to her usual body and she once again reminds catra that she’s Not Supposed To Be Here and she’s like “god now i have to like Protect You and it’s gonna put my life in danger :/ haha what are you gonna do for me in return tho ;)” and catra is like. “well good thing i didn’t ASK you to protect me” so adora is like :( —> >:( wait u know what??? ok u know what????? why are u here >:( how’d u find me?? >:( and do u mean any of this in a gay way?? >:( say it’s in a gay way right now >:( and catra is like. ur gay castle sent a gay beam of light into the sky. i saw it immediately bc im gay but i do NOT mean this in a gay way. and adora is like oh :( ok :’( and then asks about shadow weaver bc she saw what went down in the horde and she like. i think she can tell shadow weaver still exerts some form of control that catra hasn’t broken free from? :( and then catra is like haha shadow weaver is a LOSER and adora starts giving her Gay Looks and it makes catra scared because her gf now thinks she has a crush on her!!!!!!! how Embarrassing!! “ugh, i knew you’d be weird about me letting you escape” ok so why did you say that thing about not liking her? “i told you it’s not because i like you!” there it is! that’s EXACTLY what i thought you’d say you lesbian! and the way she says it??? she definitely likes adora???? she is so bad at lying?????? and adora is so smug about it like her Face plus her crossed arms and the whole “i mean, i didn’t ;) i didn’t say anything ;)” her eyes.... your honor she’s gay...... she’s like what if we were in my secret castle..... standing amongst the rubble because i destroyed the infrastructure to protect you..... and we were both girls....... adora was Ready to turn her sword into a Bed right then and there ok!!! it’s not me it’s Her Eyes,,, anyway catra starts being salty again and brings up bow and glimmer and is like hey where’s those idiots u dumped me for :/ thought you looooooved hanging out with them and doing everything with them :/ like we used to :/ are they not as fun to hang out with adora is that why you’re standing in this spider infested building with me instead :/ and adora suddenly remembers that she can’t just be horny and that she has to hold catra accountable for her actions so she’s like oh my friends? the ones who u kidnapped and held for ransom???? >:( and catra is like ya what other friends would i be talking about :/ like god i know she’s evil but she’s so funny take her back adora :( jk ik ur gonna start begging her to Come With You in like minutes u absolute simp. but before that happened catra was like fuck u lets Split Up >:( we already broke up why would we run away from spiders together huh? unless u still like me? but clearly there’s only one way for them to walk so they can’t split up just yet and adora gives catra this >:( look so catra is like FINE one last date and they walk away together. they go into this... dark room and catra wants to leave the dark room because she’s scared of ghosts :( jk but the door disappears and something scans catra and adora and light hope is like cool! time to show them memories that are specifically picked to make catra resent adora! which :( not cool light hope :( i get that ur a bot who’s programmed to serve the homophobic agenda but damn u were gay once too :( anyway they’re sent to a memory in the fright zone and adora gets Angry bc she thinks catra tricked her and catra is like i wouldn’t play u like that :( and she finds out it’s all fake so she’s like adora :D u don’t have to be scared or mad at me anymore! :D she goes to look for adora but adora’s watching a memory of them when they were six and being really cute. back when adora had the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and only really cared about making catra happy and having her back. catra blinded octavia and insulted her and adora was still like: ur not bleeding ur bones aren’t broken and u picked a pointless fight with someone who did not provoke you in any way. where is she i will insult her some more. i love u. like damn adora really do be a ride or die girl huh!! she’s still like this but they both have too many issues to realize it :( anyway catra and adora slip into the catra and adora of their memories and begin running off together holding hands............ and then they Realize they’re running off together Holding Hands....... and catra pulls away because of her internalized homophobia :( devastating. they get into a tiny little fight over magic and kidnapping again and then adora’s face softens and she’s like catra :( why Did you let me escape :( i know i made fun of u for it before but i legit do not know if u meant it in a gay way. pls confirm? :( u could have gotten caught catra :( why did u risk it :( is it because you secretly want to run away with me and join the rebellion? :( and be my gf? :( she’s so caught up in her questions that she nearly falls off a cliff AGAIN and catra catches her by the hand because these girls are obsessed with almost falling off cliffs to their deaths and saving each other. don’t judge them their Intricate Rituals are THAT deep. and catra is like. did you really think. i would let shadow weaver erase your memory like that? and risk you forgetting our relationship? even towards the end when we were broken up and fighting each other it was kinda lit and i want u to remember it. and adora is an idiot so she’s like idk lmao probably aren’t u like evil now and catra is like well you have a point but also fuck u for thinking i don’t care about u,,, u never did have too much faith in me :( and adora is like can u blame me :( and catra is like ur hot so.... no. i will let my tail linger on your hand as a hint that i still love you. and then catra is like.... adora i know u said fuck horde rights but does that include our relationship :( u had good memories right :( of me? :( and adora is like um duh??? i miss you so goddamn much too oh my god and catra is like hey how dare you imply that i missed you even tho it’s true!!! get over urself! and adora is like not until you admit you like me ;) and they play fight again because the rituals are so intricate..... and catra lies and says she doesn’t like adora ok lmao... they enter the next memory and it’s catra and adora sparring and they’re competitive but it’s also flirty? catra pretends to be hurt to get adora to let her guard down but lonnie interferes and this causes adora to beat catra. which. yeah :( and after adora wins she does the good gf thing where she asks catra if she’s okay and catra’s not ok but she lies and hides away to cry :( and we get it babe we do!! it’s hard being in love with someone who you’re also resentful of because you’re raised in a competitive environment and always treated like you’re worthless in comparison :( but the simulation stops and catra is caught by one of the spiders and adora doesn’t manage to save her in time, grabbing her hand only to fail and have catra slip through her fingers :( they scream for each other but catra manages to get the upper hand on the spider monster, except adora charges in at the last second and delivers the final blow, further driving home the false point that light hope is trying to make :( adora just wants to protect catra but because of their upbringing catra sees it as adora always wanting to be the best and adora thinking she’s better than catra hence her telling catra what to do “all the time” which isn’t totally true but it’s what catra has been led to believe :( and also adora’s upbringing plays into it too because she thinks she has to save everyone and take responsibility for everything and it’s all just really sad bros :( what the fuck :( adora apologizes for leaving again and tries to convince catra she never meant to leave her and that she wants catra to come with her because she knows catra isn’t a bad person :( and you can see!! catra considering it!! but then precisely BECAUSE catra is considering it the memory simulation thing kicks in again and... hoo boy. we see catra and adora sneak into the black garnet chamber, after being cute and competitive and running around the horde swinging from wire to wire.... they get caught by shadow weaver and she specifically punishes only catra. and it’s so fucked because it puts adora in this position of guilt where she always feels like she has to protect adora whilst slowly brainwashing her over the years into believing that catra does do disobedient things and that adora can only escape that if she’s always perfect and taking charge of everything. and for catra.... it takes the mutually loving relationship they have and poisons it because shadow weaver makes it very clear that to her, catra’s only redeeming quality is that adora favors her? and if not for that she would be disposed of? and so it’s very hard for catra to find individuality and a healthy connection to adora which created unresolved resentment and issues and just... :( and the whole confrontation they have after the simulation ends... adora could never protect catra in the way she needed to be protected because adora was also a child, and receiving a different form of abuse, and it’s just. harder for catra to leave? especially because she didn’t receive a sudden destiny the way adora did and her issues with the horde were never limited to morality. and so catra is just. she has way too much to work through and she can’t see past her resentment for adora because the machine is making her remember all of it. and so she tells a half truth and half lie to adora about giving her the sword because she didn’t want adora to come back :( catra runs away from adora and is attacked by flashes of memory. and then she faces one last memory alone. and it’s the promise adora made to catra when they were kids, about always looking out for each other, and catra looks at kid!catra and thinks adora has broken that promise, still stinging from the hurt of adora leaving her behind after finding the sword and becoming she-ra. it was never meant to be like this but catra is hurting so she focuses only on her side of things and how she saw these events play out and she :( decides to kind of betray adora? it hurts So Much because adora looks so hopeful when she sees catra while hanging on for dear life, and she thinks catra will save her again but catra talks about how the sword won’t work for her because she’s never been the Special One like adora was always heralded to be in the horde. and having adora literally be she-ra just drives that point home for catra and she hates adora for it because this means all the other stuff she believes is true too. adora made her feel weak on purpose, adora made catra think she needed her on purpose. “every hero needs a sidekick, right?” and adora’s “catra, no, that’s not how it was!” hits even harder now because we know that adora just. loved catra. she was in love with her but adora was also like catra in that she’s a product of her circumstances and upbringing. she was the way she is as a means of survival. but the one thing there that was pure and true was that they loved each other.... upsettingly neither of them can see that. catra goes down even further into the path of evil and thinks that. being free of adora. is the thing that will liberate her and bring her happiness. which. she is wrong about. but she can’t exactly see all that clearly right now :( and adora begging catra not to “do this” which... means she’s begging her not to leave? “bye adora! i really am going to miss you” and adora’s desperation skyrockets but it’s too late :( catra doesn’t come back for her and adora cries.... and it’s just so insane that literally everyone who wants to control adora focuses on poisoning her bond with catra because that’s the relationship that... matters most to her in the world. when you’ve loved someone your whole life it hurts when they betray you and it hurts to betray them too, as we can see from catra when she arrives back at the horde. she essentially looks Wrecked and freezes up when scorpia calls her “the best friend ever!” but i want to make one quick note of her “personal space” talk with scorpia? like fjdjdjdjd you have never had personal space with adora not once in your life ok that’s reserved for the gf only i see. 10/10 i am so wrecked emotionally this is way too much but also because it makes me so emo i will give it a perfect score but nothing else. no bonus points because i do not want to reward putting me in pain!

light hope: light hope showing adora the memories that make her feel guilty and it’s the first scene where catra sees her as she-ra and walks away.... adora’s been feeling guilty over catra since the moment she failed at getting catra to leave the horde :( 3/10

the battle of bright moon: “catra will be leading the horde when they attack. i have to face her.” it’s so interesting how there’s so many pressing things at hand? the weather is screwy, the alliance is broken, no one’s coming to save them, the rebellion could be crushed, but the thing that is really bothering adora, the thing that she brings up first, is catra. “i saw catra in there. i thought i could get through to her, but all i did was push her farther to the side of evil” she sounds... so heartbroken about it all :( catra and adora meet on the battlefield and the first thing catra says is,,, u guessed it,,,, “hey adora.” and adora’s like “catra. surprised to see me?” and like damn they’re really so good at being enemies. the talent. the tension. impeccable. and then catra says nah i didn’t think u died and im glad u made it out alive. and adora, bless her soul, is like oh.... u mean in a gay way..... u didn’t want me to die..... for homosexual reasons?? and catra is like no! haha! i uh, i just wanted to kill u in a cooler much sexier way. and adora is like oh :( oh >:( oh >:’( and they get into a very heated sexy fight like catra wanted. and they taunt each other like. “i thOUgHt yOU weRe suPposED tO bE stRoNG” “aND i tHouGHt yOu wERe sUpPOsEd tO bE fAst” you know. very cool well crafted taunts. and like. they fight a lot which is kind of sad but also kind of sexy because their styles are like? similar and different? which is the dumbest way to compare any two things ever but like :( y’all get what i mean right :( we get one more Hanging Off A Cliff scene and this time adora grabs catra by the chest and shoves her against the wall, and catra is like cool! but u did this,, for what? and then adora realizes catra was just distracting her Again and bright moon is very badly under attack :( catra bids her adieu so adora can run back and fight. but she like. gets caught :( and catra walks up to her and gently caresses her cheek before adora passes out and it’s evil but it’s also tender? but it’s also evil i know i know :( all of the princesses come to help adora so she sends a beam of magic gay light and heals everything and then all the princesses send a gay tsunami washing over catra. the horde loses, and catra retreats in a skiff, but adora and catra exchange one more Look as she leaves... hm. 9/10

[mrs-hollandstan]

Make Me Love You || Frat Boy!Tom [two]

Warnings: more sexual comments, sexual tension, language, talk of home issues, shirtless Tommooooo

Word Count: 5,827

Author's Note: Here's part two. The teaser didn't do so well but people keep adding to the taglist sooooo ???? Either way, I'm writing part 3 which I'm pretty excited for cause I think that's gonna introduce like a relationship thingy. Lemme know what you think tho. 

Series Masterlist || Add yourself to one of my taglists

Saturday seemed to skate by for you and your three new roommates. After Harrison dropped Ivey off, the four of you made a mess of your kitchen making breakfast. Afterwards, you head out into the streets, the clouds teasing you with small slivers of sunlight every few minutes. At the end of your shopping spree, the girls are asking you about your dad and his endless supply of money he provides you, seeing that your bags are full of winter clothes that they would only be able to afford half of, if that. The rest of the day is a blur, just the four of you enjoying each others company and planning out your school schedules. 

Sunday comes around in a flash, Ivey is waking you up early in the morning to catch Tom and Harrison's golf match. Handing you a coffee to wake you up once you pull yourself out of bed, she giggles, watching you drink from it with droopy eyes,

"If you and Tom become a thing, I'll be interested to see how you make it to games to support him." She says. You hum, climbing into the cold passenger seat of her car, cradling the steaming cup of coffee close to you for warmth as she turns the vehicle on and cranks the heat up. The drive to the local golf course is short and Ivey drives carefully through the fog Seattle is set in. Once she finds a spot and the two of you walk to join the group of people gathered around the competing teams, you and Ivey clapping along, her eyes trained on Harrison and yours trying to avoid staring at the curly haired brunette who wears a different backwards hat, looking delicious in the somewhat tight gray pants and polo he wears, focused on the game before him. In a few, seemingly short hours, the game is finished and your school has won and Harrison is the Medalist for the school's team. Ivey jumps into his arms when they're dismissed, her arms wrapped around his neck, legs in the air as he lifts her from her feet. She squeals, 

"You did so good. I'm so proud of you." She praises, his face turning up as he stares down at her. Setting her on her feet, he steps forward to give you a quick, one armed hug, attempting to avoid leaving his stink of sweat on you. Tom approaches, duffel bag slung over his shoulder, unreadable expression etched into his features.

"Ladies... and Y/N." He remarks. 

"Oh ha ha." Harrison says, reaching out to playfully punch Tom's arm. The brunette boy's tongue comes out as he laughs before he looks to you, 

"Hi. You look dead on your feet." He says, cocking his head. You smile, nodding and pulling the sleeves of a sweater you'd bought the day before down further over your hands,

"I feel dead. I'm never up this early." He chuckles, a breathtaking smile crossing his face, 

"Unfortunately for us, it's part of the game. It's like my own little piece of home so... I'll get up this early if I can remember my family." He informs. You nod, muttering a "nice" before you both avert your attention back to Harrison and Ivey, caught up in each other. She's mid laugh when she turns back to the two of you. She looks between you, 

"I... am gonna reward the Medalist so you two... go off together. Have fun." She says, waving her hand as if to shoo you. You cock your head pathetically, features softening, 

"Seriously?" She raises her own eyebrows, 

"If you had a boyfriend, wouldn't you wanna show him how proud you are of him when he's top winner Y/N?" She chastises. You huff, eyebrows knitting together in annoyance. Tom reaches out to run his fingers along your arm, 

"'S alright darling. We'll go down to Sal's diner, have some breakfast and I'll buy you a new coffee." He says, gesturing to your nearly empty cup of cold coffee. You look up into his soft, genuine eyes. You sigh before nodding, eyes flickering between Ivey and Harrison, 

"Fine... but just know I hate you both and we'll see if you ever drag me to anything again." Ivey giggles before taking Harrison's hand, 

"Yeah, yeah, we'll see you guys there." She says before dragging him towards a faraway bathroom. You and Tom watch them go, Tom letting out a distant, wanting sigh, 

"Can't wait for a girl that gives me congratulatory sex." He says softly, sounding almost disappointed as you both watch Harrison and Ivey hurry off, her hand held in his. You glance up at him after a moment and giggle, his own lips turning up after another heartbeat of your smooth laughter. He lets you wrap an arm around his waist, an arm of his circling your shoulders hesitantly as he leads you towards the parking lot, duffel bag held over his shoulder in the other hand. He's sweaty despite the cold and you both know it and despite you not seeming to mind, Tom does, not wanting you to smell for the rest of the day assuming you don't change out of your clothes. 

"I don't know much about golf, but you did good Tom. Great form." You break him from his thoughts. He snorts, rolling his eyes as he releases you to rummage through his bag to find his car keys, clicking the unlock button to a silver 1998 4runner. The stereotypical douchebag car. 

"I can tell you don't know shit. Every time I caught a glimpse of you during the match you looked fucking lost. And I didn't have good form, I was one of the lowest scoring players for this game." 

"And? You still did good. Better than most of us I bet. I'm not that stupid, I know you contributed to the team winning. That makes you good." You elaborate before walking around and climbing into the passenger seat, waiting for Tom to join you. You turn, watching him rummage through a gym bag in his backseat before he climbs into the driver's side, starting the car to crank the heater up and strip from his somewhat sweaty polo, trading it in for a more comfortable looking, skin tight, army green colored, long sleeved shirt. Your eyes wander the skin of his chest and stomach, watching the muscles beneath ripple with each movement. When he breathes, the muscles in his abdomen constrict and relax, defining his tantalizing body even further. His pecs are thoroughly defined and his biceps flex with each movement of them. You're obsessed with how he looks, having only seen what his clothes allow you, but now that he's shirtless in front of you, it's sexy as hell. His face isn't the only thing that's beautiful, a pang of want coursing through your body. 

You lick your lips, drawing your eyes away once he pulls the shirt over his head, ruffling the soft curls and pulling his cap back on his head, backwards again. He catches you at the last second, chuckling to himself as he finds comfort in his fresh clothes and the heat coursing through his car,

"I don't know whether to be flattered or scared seeing your eyes glossed over like that." He mutters, tossing his polo over his shoulder and clicking his seatbelt around his slender figure. You swallow, glancing up to watch the ice crystals collected on the windshield melt away. Clearing your throat, you blink a few times, trying to erase the distracting images of his body from your mind, but it doesn't seem to work and you're not entirely sure you want it to. 

"I mean… it's kinda flattering seeing you look at me like a fine piece of dessert, but damn it's kinda scary." He continues, further breaking you from your thoughts. 

"Sorry." You finally mutter. He hums, glancing in his rearview mirror,

"You don't have to be sorry. I was starin at you Friday, you can stare at me now. We can like what we see love, it's just what we choose to do with it that matters." He says matter of factly, twisting a few times in his seat to check around you before safely backing out of his parking spot and pulling out into the parking lot and onto the mist and drizzle covered streets of Seattle. The heat doesn't help the flood of embarrassment and want that you have in your body. He clicks the heater down when you push your sleeves up your forearms, clearing your throat as he drives. He chuckles, 

"We could always take the party to the backseat if you’re that hot and bothered by the show. I'm the master of making it like a little domain." He says. You scoff,

"I'm sure you are. Then you'd score and you'd drop me-"

"I didn't say that-"

"You don't have to. I've already been told you're a one night stand type of guy so why would I waste my time trying to get through to you when the second I sleep with you, you'll just... move on?" You rant, trailing off at the end. Silence permeates between you somewhat awkwardly, but Tom's eyes find your figure every few seconds. He licks his lips, bringing his knee not focused on the gas and brake, up closer to his body. He sighs, running his hand up to the top of the steering wheel, drumming his thumb along it, 

"It was a joke. I was joking but uhm... I'm... starting to think that you and I won't be friends. There's too much of a connection. Sure, we want different things from each other, but we both want something from the other. I want sex and you want... a relationship. And I have to be honest, I don't know if you really want that." He admits. You look to him, watching his jaw clench for a moment, eyes fixed on the road before him before you speak up, 

"So you don't wanna be friends?" You say quietly, almost inaudibly. He glances over, eyes locked in yours for a moment before he reaches across the center console to place his hand over your thigh, rubbing soothingly as the corners of his lips turn up and he looks back out at the road, 

"Definitely not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that you and I have this... connection. I know you feel it cause I do too and I'm dumb as fuck. The only thing I'm good at is fucking. Dating me wouldn't do much for you cause I'm... I'm complicated. I'm fucked up and I'll just break your heart. So like you said, why put yourself through that?" He presents to you, hand resuming its position at the base of the steering wheel, arm rested on his leg. The way he avoids your eyes the rest of the drive tells you it hurts him to say something about himself like that. But he's been hurt before and you can tell. He doesn't want to open himself up again and have his own heart broken. 

He pulls into the small dirt lot the diner sits in, parking as close to the building as he can. You mutually climb from the car and walk up the steel steps. You thank Tom as he opens the door for you, walking inside the warm building and smiling at a waitress who greets you both. She leads you to a booth in a corner of the restaurant, letting you sit across from each other before setting menus before you and asking if you'd like to place a drink order. Tom orders coffee for the both of you, watching her walk away before he averts his attention to the menu before him. When you both have thoroughly looked it over, he clasps his hands together on the table, a crooked smirk rising to his lips, 

"We can still learn about each other. You said you were from California, what part?" He asks. You smile softly, relaxing back against the booth at your back, 

"Beverly Hills." He nods, face turning up, impressed,

"Nice. Real pretty there, minus the... snobby, rich assholes that think they're entitled cause they spent too much on a house and car. What's your family life like?" He poses. You shrug, smile etched into your face, 

"Fucked. Like everyone else's." You reply, letting him let out a chuckle before you reach up to tuck hair behind your ear,

"I lived in Beverly Hills so obviously we had money as you so nicely put it. My dad was this... successful CEO for the malls in the area. My mom never worked really. Not from what I remember. She was always home for me and my brother Cole, packing lunches, driving us to school, that kinda stuff." You pause, your eyes looking around the diner, but your mind wanders to the fading images of what your mom used to look like. When she was happy, healthy. Tom cocks his head, watching you,

"You love your mum." He poses unknowingly. You nod,

"Yeah, I did." You reply softly, feeling the pressure of your tears behind your eyes. You cross your arms on the table almost defensively as Tom frowns, waiting for you to continue. Tears collect in your eyes as you think about it,

"She died almost five years ago." Tom's eyes widen and he struggles to pull a napkin from the dispenser against the wall,

"Shit, I am so sorry." You shake your head, taking it from him, 

"Don't be. I don't talk about her often is all." You say. He nods, watching you dab at your eyes before you sigh, 

"My dad had a new girlfriend before her funeral even rolled around. So... it just caused a rift between him and my brother cause we just kinda figured maybe she wasn't something he picked up after our mom had died. We came to the conclusion he wasn't around a lot because he had this new girlfriend and maybe mom knew about, who knows? But either way, Cole moved up here once he graduated and my dad decided when I graduated, he was headed to New York for a bigger business investment. I would've gone if he didn't make it seem like I was holding him back while I was still in high school. He just seemed antsy to get the hell out of dodge and I just... I don’t want to feel like an obligation. I think he wanted a fresh start and I wasn’t going to feel like the burden when it came to that. So it was either him and his new little girlfriend that honestly isn't much older than me, or here with Cole. Guess I like Cole and the idea of actually being wanted better. And he was alone until I got here so... I like being around him." You elaborate with a shrug, glancing up every so often to see Tom nod. He smiles, nodding to himself. He looks down at his arm,

"Damn... I thought my dad was irritating." He says. You smile, shrugging to yourself, 

"It happens. The fight my dad and Cole got in was viscous. I thought one of them was gonna kill the other and then my dad told Cole to get out and Cole left and I was terrified I'd never see him again. I was the only one invited to his graduation. My dad was pissed." You elaborate further with a giggle. Tom smiles, glancing up and leaning back when the waitress brings two cups of steaming coffee and a bowl of creamer. She asks for a food order, Tom watching you as you do so and ordering himself, smiling as she turns to walk away. He finds the sugar he likes in the tray at the end of the table, stirring it in before adding a creamer,

"What about you?" You pose to break the silence between you again. He glances up, eyebrows furrowing before you gesture out to him, 

"Your life, your family. Why are you here? I mean... I've been to London and its gorgeous. Why didn't you stay, or hell... go to New York? That's beautiful too." He shrugs, nose crinkling almost in disgust, 

"New York isn't for me. Too uppity and cramped. And there's only so long you can stay in your hometown before you're sick of it. By the time I was ready for college, I wanted the fuck out and the states were always the plan. Seattle is pretty close to that cold London weather I knew I'd miss so... it was kind of a no brainer." He says with a shrug, fingertips gently strumming along the ceramic mug set before him as he speaks, glancing out the window beside him. Looking back to you, he sighs, shrugging again, 

"As for my family, I've got three brothers, both parents and a dog." He says. You smile and nod, holding your own mug in both hands, 

"Got your whole life together." He chuckles, 

"Yeah... sure. My dad sort of vicariously lives through me and is all over the place with his demands. I would've just come up here, played golf and got a degree in... I dunno... theater or something if I had my way but now I'm studying business. Dunno what I'm gonna do with it." He admits. He sighs, crossing his arms and running his hands up his biceps with a faraway look. He shrugs, eyes finding yours, 

"My mum would love you though. Very defiant with a little bit of sass. She'd love to keep you around so you can keep me in check." He says. You smile, looking down into the coffee in your hands,

"And your brothers? You said you had three of them, so you're like a... a role model figure. Gotta be perfect for your brothers huh?" You pose. He chuckles, pulling his phone out, 

"The fact that you nailed it right on the head is… quite terrifying." He admits before sighing. Flipping through a few things, he turns his phone to show you the party of six, including their dog. You smile, looking through the smiling faces of his family,

"Damn, the whole family's good lookin." You say. He chuckles, turning his phone back to him and zooming in to see the other boys that, now looking at him, he realizes he misses, 

"If you meet them, never say that to the other boys. They don't need their egos inflated any more than they already are." He jokes. You snort, 

"Oh and you do Tom? I don't think your head can get any bigger." You reply. He clicks his tongue, unamused look crossing his face. He averts his attention back to his phone allowing you the opportunity to look over his face again. He sighs as he finally tucks the device away, glancing up finally when you speak, 

"What about Harrison? How'd he end up here?" You ask. He presses his lips in a line, eyebrows set the same way, 

"Just decided he wanted the same thing as I did. His home life's about as complicated as yours. He just wants to focus on himself. Then he met Ivey and... I'm convinced if I hadn't liked Seattle and decided to head back to the UK, he'd stay for her. He... fell hard, and fast for her. It seemed to happen overnight and I'm still convinced she's drugging him with some kind of love potion." He jokes. You smile, admiring what you know so far of Harrison and Ivey's relationship,

"They're adorable. They just seem to be so in love and it's perfect. They're a good balance for each other." You tell him. He nods, smiling to himself, 

"He's whipped as fuck. Can't keep her off his mind. They always plan their schedules out together to see if they can get some of the same classes. I made the mistake of taking one with them once after they'd been together a few months and... lemme tell you, third wheeling with those two is not fun." He informs, eyebrows raising when he looks to you again. You smile, 

"I'm taking a class with her this semester. Should be interesting." He hums, 

"Same here. Im takin a class with him. It's cool when it can link up. I just can't be with the both of them. All they do is sit at the back of the class and kiss and if it's a two person project, you've got to wing it with someone else. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's nice to be out there and meeting new people, but shit, the things you have to put up with from the two of them is a nightmare." He elaborates. You giggle, leaning your chin on your hand. His smile widens, eyes lingering on your face a moment longer than they probably should have. 

"I think she's the same way though. As far as being whipped goes. She's constantly talking about him, constantly checking her phone to see if he's texted her. I think it's sweet. To be that in love." You tell him, glancing away with a distant look in your eye as you glance past him. His eyes look you over, watching you cock your head, 

"Not to be rude or anything but… have you ever actually had a girlfriend or have you only slept around with girls?" You ask as nicely as possible. Tom shrugs, 

"No, I've had girlfriends. I just… I get bored easily. I dunno that it helps that the three I've been with fawned over me for the title. I guess I… wow, this is gonna sound really conceited but uhh… I guess I was what you can consider one of the popular boys. Loads of people liked me and the girls sort of lined up, threw themselves at me to get the chance to say they dated me at one point. Guess I just," he shrugs again, "got bored with that whole thing. Now 'm just waiting for the right girl to come along and sort of reverse roles. I'd love to be able to gush about my girlfriend to people. Talk about how perfect and beautiful and smart she is." It makes your heart flutter, how romantic he makes it sound. You're almost jealous you have the chance to not be that girl he wants to gush about. He sighs, eyes finding you again, 

"What about you, you don't have a boyfriend or anything? You're a sight AND a little daredevil and someone hasn't scooped you up?" He quizzes. You shrug, 

"Not that interested in anyone. All the guys back home are self centered snobby rich kids no one fucking likes." You tell him. He smiles, shrugging, 

"As are the girls, no?" Humming and narrowing your eyes, your smile widens as Tom chuckles, 

"Touche Thomas." He chuckles,

"What about here? None of the guys here are good enough?" He asks, one of his eyebrows quirking. You tilt your head softly, 

"To be fair, I've only been to the party on Friday and a golf match. I've met the same guys two days in a row. Give it time." You reply. He hums, 

"None of the guys you've met have piqued your interest?" He questions lowly. He lifts his cup, sipping from it. You search his face, admiring the full cheeks and sharp jawline, soft curls peeking out from beneath the cap he wears, cute, big ears seeming to hold it in place like a bobby pin. His dark eyes cut up to yours, watching the beautiful Y/E/C of your own dart away quickly. He chuckles, setting his cup down, 

"Gotta be quicker than that darling. You didn't learn that in the car?" Crossing his arms on the table again, you lean closer, his eyes wandering your face again, 

"Are you twenty one questioning it about my love life for your own personal use?" 

"I'd love to use you for my own personal use." He quickly jumps. You stare at each other, the tension between the two of you, thick, the longer you both wait for the other to make a move. His eyes cast down to your lips, watching you lick them, 

"That's not fair." You mutter, watching his own lips turn up, 

"But what are you going to do about it darling?" He poses cockily. He gives a soft chuckle through his nose before he leans in the smallest bit further, 

"Is there something you want me to do? Something you need to say or ask me for sweet girl?" He almost teases, eyes wandering your lips. You so desperately want to say it. Lean in the rest of the way and kiss his soft lips. But it's wrong and you know it. You both know it's wrong. There's something so wrong about already going down this road with Tom where you just know he'll use you. But your body involuntarily moves forward and you're so close to him. You both start to close the distance, and Tom's body screams in agony and want and disappointment when he hears that goddamn voice, 

"Hey guys." You both propel back as if nothing was happening, Ivey standing beside the table now. You smile up at her, 

"Hey." Tom smiles too, glancing up. He softly greets them before Harrison starts to slide into the booth beside him, 

"Oh, uhm, here..." he stands, brushing past Harrison and Ivey to stand beside your side of the booth, "I'll sit with Y/N. You two can sit together." There's confused and awkward mutters before the three people around you slide into their respective booths, Harrison wrapping an arm around Ivey as Tom looks at you, hand slipping between your thighs to hold the inside of one of them. You reach up to hold his wrist, giving it a squeeze, the tension scorching the both of you from what was just interrupted. Of course now, after that, you'd love to head off to his car and lay in his backseat and let him show you what he's working with, but somehow, the world intervened and you're taking it as a sign. But you still want him. And he still wants you. 

"So... what have you two been up to?" Ivey says in a sigh, relaxing into Harrison's side. The both of them look up as Tom reaches across the table to grab his coffee cup, bringing it to his lips to sip from again, 

"Just... intro stuff. Family life, home life, relationships, that kinda stuff." You reply, watching him drink again. When he catches you looking again, there's no cocky statement with it. He let's you, eyes sparkling playfully as he waits for someone else to speak. Harrison hums, 

"Look at you two, tryin all this stuff out. I reckon the four of us will be on double dates in no time." He says suavely. Tom clicks his tongue, 

"Yeah right mate." 

"Seriously. You guys are cute together. I can see it." He reassures. Glancing up at Tom again, he sighs, warm breath fanning over you as he reaches up to throw his arm over the back of the booth at your shoulders as he clears his throat, 

"Drop it. What about you guys? How was your... thing?" He asks. Snorting, you lean back in your seat, crossing your arms. Tom's inner elbow is rested just behind your head and you can feel his heat radiate from him. Ivey looks up at Harrison's face and smiles, 

"So good." She says. Harrison let's out a light chuckle before Ivey squeals and snuggles into him, 

"We definitely almost got caught but-" 

"That was her finisher." Harrison says. Ivey gasps, reaching up to swat his arm, 

"Was not!" 

"Was too." They bicker. You smile, giggling as you watch them and unbeknownst to you, Tom's eyes have wandered. He misses when it was just the two of you. It was easy and fun and he didn't have to hide his playfulness from you. He could say and do what he wanted and get away with it. But now its stalled. He watches you react to the couple across front you, wondering if Harrison's right. He wonders if the two of you could make it work, go out together and be a couple. He wonders himself if you could be the girl he brags about and is proud to be dating. Relationships come and go and you'd both be taking a risk, but he's starting to think it's one he wants to take. You're stunning to him, perfect beyond comparison and the things he feels for you, he's never felt for any other girl that's been in his life. You glance up after a moment, searching his eyes before you uncross your arms, one of your hands wandering to his lap. You give his thigh a squeeze, sighing as if it's comfortable for you to be like this. He glances down at your hand, before his opposite hand reaches out to trace along your fingertips with his own. You let out an inaudible gasp, focusing back on Ivey when she engages you in some conversation, but Tom is so focused on the way you react to him. Its electric and he wants more. His eyes trail up your body to your profile, sighing through his nose at the look of you. 

When the waitress returns with your food, asking Ivey and Harrison for an order, you glance up at Tom, your hands moving from each other. Your lashes flutter as you give him a soft smile, and cross one leg over the other, turning back to your breakfast in front of you. Tom steals glances at you throughout breakfast, smiling at all of the little jokes you crack and all the times you reminisce over funny stories relating to whatever you're talking about. By the time the four of you are done and argued over who's paying before the boys insist, splitting the check between you and Tom and Ivey and Harrison, Tom snagging the tray from you and slapping his card down with a wink, 

"It was a date babes, I pay for dates." He mutters to you. You roll your eyes before following the rest of your small group out into the parking lot. You and Ivey turn to face the boys, Harrison smiling down at Ivey as she sighs, turning to face you after another moment, 

"Well boys, this was fun and all but Y/N and I have to go finish getting our shit together for classes to start tomorrow." She says. You look up as Tom groans, 

"You just had to bring up classes starting this week didn't you?" Tom says, head tipping back. Your group laughs, your eyes lingering on Tom for a moment longer. Ivey snuggles herself into Harrison, letting him kiss the top of her head. Tom sighs, rolling his eyes, 

"Disgusting. I hate couples." He mutters. You smile, reaching out to lightly punch his stomach,

"So why've you been askin me about my love life Holland?" You tease. He licks his lips, 

"So I don't have to worry about some sort of boyfriend beatin the shit out of me after I fuck you." He mumbles somewhat seductively, creeping forward. Reaching out, he runs his fingers along your arm and hand, raising his eyebrows at you. You click your tongue,

"In your dreams Holland." You mutter. He chuckles, pulling back and tucking his hands in his pockets. He looks to Harrison when he sighs, 

"Was nice seeing you again Y/N. Thanks for keepin Tommo here occupied." He says, rubbing up Ivey's arm. She smiles as you look to Tom, the two of you smiling, 

"Of course. He and I got to know each other a little better. Thanks for paying for my breakfast Tommo." You tease just slightly. Tom nods, holding his arm out, letting you give him a friendly hug,

"You're welcome darling. I appreciate you putting up with me." He says. You smile, laying your head against his shoulder for a moment before you and Ivey both step back, her eyes lingering on Harrison as you look between the boys, 

"See you guys later, okay?" Harrison says, leaning in to kiss Ivey before the four of you part ways. You follow Ivey to her car, Tom and Harrison walking side by side. He turns and glances back at you once, Harrison scoffing beside him. Tom's eyes follow the noise to his best friend's face, knowing smile etched into his features. He glances at Tom, shaking his head, 

"What?" Tom mumbles. Harrison shakes his head again, 

"Ballsiest asshole I know and you can't even ask her out." He tells Tom. Tom clicks his tongue, 

"Fuck you. Never said I wanted to ask her out." 

"You don't just wanna fuck her either. I see the way you look at her, it's different than any other girl around." 

"It's cause she's new." 

"No it's not," Harrison squeals, climbing into the passenger seat of Tom's car, turning his body slightly to face Tom when he resumes his place in the driver's seat, "half of the girls you've hooked up with have been new. If it was because she was new, you'd be trying your damnedest to get into her pants before you moved on but you talked to her. You told her about yourself, opened up to her, and when we walked up on you... you were definitely about to kiss her. You don't catch feelings, you fuck with them, and you're definitely catching them." Harrison lectures. Tom rolls his eyes as he pulls out onto the road leading back into the heart of Seattle,

"She's a nice girl. She's cute. All of the girls I fuck with are cute. But she's just like the others. I'm not catching feelings, and just like Delilah Rhodes, I'll do what I have to to charm her pants off... and then I'll break it off." Tom says. Harrison narrows his eyes, 

"Sure Holland, sure." 

"Seriously." Tom reassures. Harrison watches him, knowing more than anything that his best friend is lying not only to Harrison, but himself. The way he reacts to you is like no other. He's never treated a girl the way he's treated you, been around a girl the way he's around you unless he's trying desperately to fuck her. But as far as he's concerned, it's never been brought up, the idea of sleeping with you. The way Tom looks at you, listens to you, laughs and smiles at you, briefly but meaningfully touches you is like nothing else. Harrison knows more than anyone, by the way his best friend acts, Tom won't be single for much longer. And it won't be a fake, to get into your pants love, but a serious, whole hearted love that you'll both share.

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[sysig]

2020 Art Purge

I had quite a few doodles that I didn’t end up posting ‘cause I ran out of room or they didn’t fit the theme or any number of reasons, so here they are now with a little ramble about what I remember about them

I had a few leftover Camp Camp doodles, especially from earlier on, thus why David can look a little funny and off-model. I very much wanted to see how he’d look in a suit, I got a few different chances to draw him so! I wanted to post the “Break the Cycle” one but never found the opportunity, it was something along the lines of breaking the cycle of abuse, from his relationship with Campbell and Max’s with his parents. And then a moody Max as well hehe, that one was in October so it was the most recent! Just wanted to draw an angry lad

Mostly fanfic or random ZEX doodles leftoever from SCII - DAX’s intimidating figure in one of the fics really stood out to me but I don’t know I fully captured just how freaked out he’d be. I remembering wanting to be very emotive with his pupil, both panicked and high off adrenaline and still maintaining just a bit of his aloofness, it’s hard! And the first draft of YIK throwing down a rope for ZEX from the pirate fic, I liked this one but it wasn’t energetic enough! A quick Captain from the sword fight (still so cool!), and a silly interaction of if Hayes shamed an openly xenophilic Captain lol. I really need to design a Captain myself so I can wander around being obnoxiously alien-loving on main lol

Around the same time smol and I made this beautiful idiot, she proposed the idea of trauma and generational traits affecting bending, which I was all for, and I made a cute little non-bender family with different dominant and recessive traits. They both live in the Earth kingdom, she’s a refugee and he’s been a resident for generations, and they met and fell in love, aw ♥ And then one more Mac n’ Cheese for the road because I drew him once in reaction to drawing the Solitaire crew and then never again

Unposted sona stuff mostly from the beginning of the year and then I posted the rest of it! Sometimes it was just a bad style day, sometimes it didn’t fit or would be very late (cough cough the Valentines’ Day one) or came off as weird (the spare murder was in reference to reading edgy stuff lol - considering I had just come off Put That Kid Down and the Vargas update hadn’t come out yet - phewf! I did get exactly what I asked for, that’s for sure) The daily pages one is especially funny to be because a) it’s true I still do but b) it was immediately before Bar’s redesign and his whole Deal™ changing, so it had to be left out for being too whimsical lol. The last one still makes me laugh, a happy version of “please anticipate my upcoming response”

More sonas! Oh and a Coffee, since he was the only other Just Desserts character to get left out. Well, I guess I had one of Kaiein too, but does he count? Ehh

It was a silly one at least lol.

There wasn’t a whole lot of unpublished AGE this year, or in general, but it’s a shame because they really turned out cute. I remember I was practicing PigPen when I made that Adara, and I just wanted to draw some pretty Zis while I was still working on the animation meme draft. What pretty ladies!

And a couple little doodles of the fantasy duo! They weren’t actually designed as a pair but I can’t stop, so hey why not have them live in the same world. Opal eyes still doesn’t have a name whoops, but their cute little tail pokes out the back of their robe! Lily is a good head and a half shorter, probably about to rib-height on an average human haha

Lots of little and/or original doodles! A lot of these are either original characters, random designs, or brainstorming - there’s the first ever doodle of Marionette! Nice. I also made that lady with the scars and cut sometime around Feb. 2019 but never posted her or her daughter, they are cute tho. The little night and day one was based on a little Insect-based RPG class system I was working on at the time, Butterflies and Moths being Paladins and Warlocks respectively

I’m so sad I didn’t get to post the wives earlier! I love my angels lads, they’re so cute. I went on a bit of an axolotl tangent, the scary one’s name is “J” lol. Lots of silly little things

I also made a bunch of extremely random fanart over the year lol, from Wilbur Soot to Smokey the Bear but On Fire which is a reference to something but I no longer remember what. There’s also Chiffon from Sir Fluff, a Wooper, Barold from the Villager makeover series, CORPSE Husband, ENA from Joel G, and some little Among Us blobs. Fun designs abound!

[elizabeatrice]

Feeling Blue, Seeing Red (Chapter 69)

Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga #5

Updated: 19/8/2020 (more thoughts)

Bea is back with the lame punny titles~

Warning: !!! MANGA SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 69 !!! Duh.

Soooo I opened the raws this morning. Saw the spicy and went 'ohh shoot'. Then some of y'all say that some folks are hating Akane bc of this chap. I proceeded to panic, because fandom war is scary af. So I translated the chap for myself. And I just gotta say:

Aoi, Nene, your boyfriends are idiots. Y'all gonna be punching and headbutting the idiocy out of them for the rest of your lives and I'll be willing to pay for your karate classes.

The teen drama made me laugh so hard ahahahaha I guess this is what you get for hoping sensei will drop a bomb this month lmaoooo.

P.S. Teru you little shit

Man I don’t even know where to begin. This chapter is oozing doraaaaama and I can’t take it seriously no matter how much I try. I remember thinking, “Shoot, this is the ‘I hate you, I hate you too, proceed to make out’ trope in JSHK’s classic ‘oooh serious moment, eh? PSYCHE!’ style,” before bursting into laughter.

I swear I’m not making fun of it.

Because it’s already fun to begin with. Ahahahaha.

I do however, take seriously the long-awaited insight into Aoi’s mind. I hollered in joy, y’all. ‘Cause like ... finally!

(Also like ... ngl the development of Aoi and akaoi in this arc might come into play in my Shrek AU. Pls don’t ask. Yet. That’s not the official AU name I swear I just wanna confuse my readers ahahaha)

Back when chapter 64 came out I wrote something that was supposed to be the first of the Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga series but I ended up not posting it because I wasn’t sure about a bunch of things. Here’s an excerpt from that post, titled ‘Aoi and Her Blues’:

I mean, what did the minions do to her? ‘Remove unnecessary things’. Someone said they removed her inhibitions (I’m terribly sorry I forgot who said this because it’s been so long so I can’t put the link here, but if you know, feel free to send me the link).

But she has to be brainwashed, right?

She remembered enough about Nene. Enough to call her out on her feelings (that she still denies btw lol) and recognize Hanako from Nene’s wonderful description (or because Aoi could see him all this time and never said anything, who knows?).

Most importantly, she remembered Akane.

So apparently they weren’t unnecessary enough to be erased from her memory. Which I’d beg to differ if I were going to make this girl willingly sacrifice herself.

Would she let her best friend fall down into a pit full of giant insects, or let her childhood friend get impaled? I mean this is the same girl that cried when Akane and Yamabuki got together (by accident) and when Nene started talking to herself like a madwoman.

So yeah. Definitely brainwashed. Pretty sure now.

The one thing that bugged me is what she said though.

“I’ve always wanted to go somewhere far away.”

“Nothing will stop me from getting my wish.”

Btw these aren’t accurate word for word I’m just drawing from memory.

Is that a wish forced upon her by the brainwashing, or has Aoi been depressed all this time and ... y’know, therefore thought about ‘going far away’? I’m personally leaning more towards the first, but it still got me thinking.

Remember back in The Clock Keeper arc when she said there was something she wanted to tell Nene?

Can some creepy hands showing up in the gardening club’s album photos really warrant that kind of expression? Is it just me who got disappointed when the thing she wanted to tell Nene ended up being just that?

But if she did have such thoughts, why?

Maybe she was lonely? I mean Nene got so busy with supernatural shenanigans. Akane’s busy with student council stuff (and school wonder stuff). Though I don’t doubt for a second that he’d drop everything for Aoi, but Aoi’s not the kind of person to do that. And to be honest, I feel like so far Aoi hasn’t been shown having genuine interaction with anyone aside from Nene and Yamabuki without the other person being completely enamored by her. And even with Yamabuki that was just in that After School chapter.

So I guess my hunch wasn’t that far off. Still though. Still though. Is she or is she not brainwashed? Because as much as Aoi likes-but hates-but actually kinda likes Akane, I still don’t think she’s the type of person to stab her childhood friend until he’s got a hole through his fucking torso.

Throwing Nene into the bug pit I guess makes more sense if Aoi knew all along that the pit won’t lead anywhere too dangerous, and that Hanako wouldn’t leave Nene’s side. Nene’s perfectly safe with him. Sorta. She did get kidnapped and were about to be sacrificed after all. But heeey Hanako still showed up to save her in the end.

Stabbing Akane like that tho? Even if she knows he wouldn’t die in a boundary especially in his school wonder form? It just doesn’t feel like Aoi, man.

Then again she did say no one really knows her, and that anyone who does would end up being disappointed in her.

I’m really happy to know that she does not, in fact, appreciate all the attention given to her. Comedy framing aside, constantly having some random guy approach you to ask you out presumably every day is ... annoying at best. Kid deserves better.

So ya girl got some extreme trust issues. Strangers, even Akane and Nene, I could understand. But her dad tho? Is something going on in the Akane household? Bruh ....

How long has Aoi not been able to trust anyone enough to let them get close to her? Because if she’s been feeling like that about Nene all this time, Imma be super sad bruh. Nene is one of the most genuine kids ever (perhaps only second to Kou).

I understand that Aoi’s disappointed because Nene’s been keeping secrets, but honestly, who would believe you if you come up to them and say, “Hey so I summoned a toilet ghost and now I’m stuck as his assistant. The rumors about supernaturals are like, totally real, and can endanger everyone in this school for real, too. Also I turn into fish when I come in contact with water.”

Sensible best friends would either a) not believe you, or b) try to get you as far away from supernatural shit as possible ‘cause hello? Ya ain’t Miles Morales ya can’t just blast What’s Up Danger when monster of the week shows up.

Even if Aoi does let it continue, wouldn’t she wanna get involved? Would Nene let her get involved when Tsukasa’s still around? Ya girl got cursed, thrown off the top of a boundary, sent to literally nowhere and everywhere, almost got her body stolen by mirror monsters, kidnapped and taken into a fake world, and now trapped in literal Grim Reaper’s realm. Honestly, who would involve their best friend in this sort of shit?

It just makes me sad to think that all this time Akane and Nene have genuinely cared about her but she didn’t think they were. Aoi, my girl Nene literally threaded hell boundaries and high shallow water to save you!!!

Unrequited platonic love hurts just as much as romantic ones, y’all ....

Speaking of romantic love.

Hey, uh, Akane. For claiming to despise Hanako and calling him a slimy pervert, y’all kinda act the same way with your respective girlfriends when things get a bit heated up, huh? Even the teasing part.

Boy, you’re dumb af. You deserve that.

There it is y’all, it’s official. We got punches for akaoi and headbutts for hananene.

You deserve this too. But Teru’s face here is really annoying, I’ll give you that. Teru you little shit.

At least you’re finally gonna be useful. Let’s just see.

Hmm I guess I have to address the thing now.

Ahem. The thing. The pushing (pulling?) Aoi down, grabbing her neck thing.

Yeah I don’t get it either. Whether it was a creative choice taken in consideration to the actual character’s state or to just pander to the trope that seems to be marketable in Japan or both, I don’t really know.

I do however, have to remind you that none of these kids are in their right mind. One is possibly still recovering from the effects of brainwashing and dealing with not only extreme trust issues and insecurities, but also the sight of a gaping hole on her childhood friend and perhaps crush’s torso, not to mention having to deal with this in the middle of nowhere. The other one is the said person with a gaping hole on his torso, who almost lost his life-long crush, and even got stabbed by her in the first place.

They’re lost. They’re tired. They’re emotional. They’re frustrated. They’re two hormonal teens.

I think Akane thought Aoi wouldn’t listen to him unless he makes her. Which is why he went with exposing her by saying he hated her. Which is still a dumb move in my opinion. But Aoi rightfully got back at him. And honestly I didn’t think he really hurt her. I mean, it’s Akane after all. *shrugs*

The way I see it, the entire thing was a result from not only their current condition but also the uh ... not telling each other how they really feel all this time. Aoi with her issues, Akane with his secrets. They’re a ticking bomb. It’s horrible that they ended up hurting each other because of this (physically and emotionally), but I could see why it went like this. These two are flawed. Most importantly, they’re teenagers. They’re bound to fuck up in this equation.

Heck, I’ve fucked up worse in less endangering situations before.

But heeey once things get cleared between them they fall right back to each other. Sure things aren’t entirely resolved. But they’re gonna be okay. Teru’s there. Should be fine. Probably.

The thing is we as the audience who come into the story with a clear head can easily figure out the best, most sensible way to deal with the characters’ problems. But these problems affect the characters in (physical, physiological, psychological, emotional) ways most of us can’t immediately empathize with, which can make their bad decisions frustrating for us to see. We know it’s wrong. And when these characters have calmed down and healed, they’ll know that it’s wrong, too. If they’re not dicks, that is.

You know how it feels when you’re fighting with someone, and you know the best thing to do is to talk it out, but you just can’t bring yourself to? It makes things worse, right? And you’re frustrated, right? Unfortunately that’s just how humans are.

Even I let my emotions get the best of me when I judged the villagers’ actions back in chapter 68 hahaha (but I still think they’re awful).

It’s just my opinion tho.

And whooo everyone is officially here but Yamabuki (and Sakura and Tsukasa, but they’re bound to show up)! Catch up soon, my citrus child.

Lastly, I have the moral obligation to remind you that if akaoi’s confrontation ended up like this, imagine how hananene’s would be.

I’ll leave you to your deductions.

As always, feel free to discuss. Just ... don’t fight, onegaishimasu.

[reversewerewolf]

3, 4, 20, 21, 23, 28, 30

OK putting them under a cut! lol

3. 3 songs that mean something to you

only 3??? lol

1. to noise making (sing) - hozier

(i know, but you knew he’d be here lol) an encouragement to do things that make you happy even if you’re not good at them. literally cried the first time i heard it because i love fucking belting out singing but... not good at it, won’t do it publicly without sound louder than me around lol. but yeah. “you don’t always sing it right/but who could call you wrong/to put your emptiness to melody/your awful heart to song?” kills me flat dead every time.

2. june - tigers jaw.

a friend made me a playlist a while back with this song on it and i latched onto it lol. it’s nice to listen to, the chorus is super satisfying to sing, and it reminds me of a friend who cares about me both by association and through the lyrics. the line “i know you like the drive home” is also a one hit k.o. for me

3. bloom - the paper kites.

this one doesn’t have the deepest meaning to me and isn’t at all applicable to my current life lmao. but it’s a really, really cute song that’s on a lot of my ship playlists (lol) and it lulled me to sleep in 2018... basically every night, for like 8 hours. see: my spotify wrapped from 2018, in which i did the math and figured out that i played this song approximately 3,034 times. oops.

4. 3 topics you’d love to learn more about

man i want to know everything so it ends up being difficult to pinpoint anything? lol. does stuff i wish i knew how to do count???

1. writing music. i can write borderline-to-full-cringy lyrics but i can’t like compose a tune or play any instruments to save my life. i think it’d be cool to know how to do that

2. marine biology. used to want to go into that field before i realized that uhhhhh college and math were involved lol. still think under the ocean is scary as fuck and fascinating tho. i even told a dj on a kids’ radio station when i was 8 that i wanted to grow up to hang out with an octopus. i really failed him

3. how i, as an adult, can throw a molotov cocktail without risk of heavy fines or jail time

20. 3 adjectives that you’d use to describe yourself

oof. don’t ask me this, it makes me have to think of my positive-to-neutral traits

obliging(?), easily amused (count this as one adjective), bewildered (constantly!)

21. 3 things you are the most passionate about 

1. aminals

2. D&D

3. having a nice day

23. 3 songs you listen to while cleaning 

i made a playlist called BOPS ONLY that i listen to when i have to do chores lol. 3 current faves on this list are:

1. blinding lights - the weeknd

2. van horn - saint motel

3. who do you love - marianas trench (i know)

28. 3 things you love cooking/baking 

i covered this one in a previous ask!! but tl;dr: stir fry, bread, steamed buns

30. 3 moments you could never forget

1. this one time a group of my friends were having dinner a couple years ago. like 2017 i think? and me and my one friend went to the store to get drinks and stuff first, and when we got back to my friends’ house he handed me a drink i liked and i was like ??? cause i had bought my own drink or something. and he was like “it’s for you, it’s your favorite flavor!” and on god i almost cried on the spot bc at that time, i was not used to people remembering little stuff like that about me lol

2. a billion things with my best friend?? lol. but i’m gonna choose how we met which is that we were both at a skating rink when i was like 9, and i was drawing pokemon, and she came over and just started talking to me while i was drawing ekans. and sat there and talked to me for ages. and i was like ??? ok!! and it’s been almost 20 years and we are still friends (:

3. this is a really weird one but i remember in one of my D&D groups, like... the person whose house we played at, at the time, has a pet bird who does not like me. and during a game he was chilling with us once and then started biting me, and then started biting other people. so his owner went to put him back in his cage while we all chanted “back to jail! back to jail!” and the bird sat there like “8V” i don’t know why but i think about it unprompted a lot.

[yaminerua]

pretty sure at this point it’s my digestive system that’s fucked but what exactly it is that’s messing it up I have no honest to god clue

it’s almost a year I’ve been dealing with this constant pain now, with random intermittent periods where it was less noticeable and allowed me to just do things and even very brief days where it didn’t seem to be there at all and I cannot for the life of me figure out why it was less on those days because it doesn’t SEEM to be specific foods.

I would have the same foods one day and be ok and the same foods another day and have the pain and not want to have to move much.

It’s ok in the mornings it seems. Like I wake up and I’m ok and then I eat and it almost immediately starts up but it’s not the upper stomach? Like it doesn’t feel like it’s reacting to something I’m immediately eating. It’s like.. further along and lower down which was why I thought it was my bladder at first but it doesn’t seem to be. And it doesn’t seem to be the other organs around there either cos those got checked in a scan when they were testing me for a previous pain lmfao

Anyways it’s a pain for the rest of the day until later at night for whatever random reason and then it’ll settle a bit. I have no trouble sleeping since it’s usually ‘gone’ by then.

But that pisses me off because it’s like. I still can’t identify what’s making it happen. Because again. Sometimes it’s not as bad and other times it’s awful even if I eat the exact same thing. Trying to cut things out or identify a specific trigger for it doesn’t seem to work because it just. It just seems completely random.

For whatever reason it has plagued me for almost a whole year from about March or April last year. With only a period of half of October where it randomly let up a bit and let me have semi-functional days and then just decided to come back full swing in November.

I’ve spent a chunk of last year trying to explain things to my doctor to try to figure out what the hell it is. Trying to find patterns, describing the feeling and where and when it happens and trying all the shit they give me. They thought it was IBS because I didn’t have other symptoms that would suggest other things, but none of the medications for IBS worked and even IBS symptoms didn’t seem that relatable either. I can’t even find a description for my exact experience online because it seems so specific.

It’s like.... before this, I spent the whole of 2019 with a pain in my left side that seemed to just. Not want to go away no matter what. And then February last year I was like ‘fuck it maybe I just need fibre’ so I gradually increased fibre and.... side pain vanished. And for almost a month I was feeling finally back to normal. Like aha! I have defeated you, mystery pain

and then bam! A new pain in a new location that was somehow worse than the previous one. And it’s been relentless ever since.

My brain loves to worst-case-scenario everything. But I have to remind myself that when they were investigating the side pain I had some scans and that showed nothing. And besides I have literally no other ‘worrying’ symptoms. Just this dumb pain

It’s significantly been impacting my ability to physically help out in the house and  since my granny requires a lot of care and getting up to make sure she’s ok on her feet or needing assistance and stuff, on top of the usual washing up and cooking needs and stuff it’s just really got in the way of things that were manageable enough before.

Which has meant that while I lie down willing my pain to subside enough to let me get up and do things, my dad has had so much pressure on him and I feel awful for not being more readily able to take some of the weight off his shoulders again... Which just makes me worry about him being overworked and my brain reeeeeally likes going down catastrophe thought paths like a choose your own adventure of worst case scenarios until you end up with ‘he’s gonna die, I can’t make money, I don’t know how to function as an independent adult and I’ll lose the house and end up dead in the street’

so that’s fun

It’ll be a whole year of fighting this pain soon... a whole year of getting nowhere with it and having no idea still what to do about it and I’m just.....

praying that it’ll magically vanish on its own like the side pain did.... even tho im almost certain it was my active decision to take more fibre that made that go away. and I’m worried if i drop that  then the side pain might return. And sometimes I wonder if changing my diet, even tho I did it gradually, somehow brought about this different pain instead. So it’s like. Do I just have to accept having one mystery pain no matter what?

Anyway.... it’s really slowed me down a lot over the last year and I’m hoping it’ll eventually be resolved. But in the mean time it means that sometimes I take longer to get new content made because sitting to draw is too much sometimes

So I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens with this... See if there are any other things I can try.

If this ends up being something like ‘lol you’re just really stressed and it’ll get better when you’re not stressed anymore’ i might as well just give up because

lol

life isn’t stopping the stress flow any time soon

would be nice if my dad’s 10 year long attempt to make some money in his business would finally pay off and help us not feel like we’re one bad day away from losing everything but hey ho the last time I lived without constant scary tension I wasn’t even double digits in age yet so I don’t even know if I’ll know HOW to relax even if things change for the better

anyway sorry for the rant

im just so tired

[official-michael-afton]

please go into detail about the graphic novel. like all those CATS reviews going around? PLEASE im begging you

Okay so like- tbh I’m less mad about that it’s bad and more about that it had the POTENTIAL to be good and was hot garbage instead

Like here’s some of pinky’s art(source because art stealing is bad):

and OF COURSE I’m not expecting the graphic novel to look like this. That’s ridiculous. When you need to draw so many pictures for so many pages, of course there’s going to be a sacrifice in quality. Things will look much more simple and rough.

... It shouldn’t be this bad, though.

i just... everything is so unpolished. Maybe it would’ve been cleaner if Pinky had more time?

I’ve spoken about my issues with Pinky’s designs before. She draws animatronics just fine, but... The humans? ... They exist... Most don’t look bad, they just have same face syndrome(Will and Hen look related). Jessica’s design was just a “haha hot blonde” caricature and wasn’t thought out much more than that. The style is trying too hard to be Disney but falls short- especially because this is a HORROR SERIES and not a FAIRYTALE... MIXED WITH SOME ANIME ELEMENTS FOR REASONS?????

I don’t know if it should be in a different style or maybe if Pinky had mastered this style better it wouldve looked better, but it’s just choppy. She’s clearly out of her element and it shows, which sucks because like she’s a really good artist! ... I should also add that if this was done by just some random person I’d give it all the credit in the world, but because this is the official artist getting paid for this- and I KNOW she can do better- that’s why I’m being so hard on her. Because I know this work didn’t live up to her full potential.

The colors were done by a “Laurie Smith”, not Pinky, and it’s... embarrassing. 

Jason got whitewashed... why tho? Keep him white or keep him POC, don’t do... whatever this is.

You can see the fill tool on the lighting here. It’s so choppy, it’s jarring instead of highlighting, and... just... awful. If Laurie spent just... literally one extra minute fine-tuning this it would’ve been so much better. But instead it looks like I took this to MSPaint

F... Fully saturated... bright red... “blood”. ... Someone got paid for this. I- this actually hurts my eyes, I can’t look at it for too long, it’s too bright and contrasted. 

Many of my friends have said that toning down saturation for the whole novel would be a HUGE fix, and I agree. It’s too bright and colorful for a horror novel, and could really use a lot more color theory(not just RED GRADIENT BECAUSE SOMETHINGS SHOCKING and OCCASIONAL GREEN LIGHT FROM NOWHERE, im talking overarching color theming, which is a whole long topic on its own)

I’m sure Laurie is a fine artist... maybe she needed more direction. Maybe she’s just a colorist, not in the fnaf fandom, so maybe she doesn’t usually work in the horror genre? Maybe she was just given “here’s what the character’s color schemes are” and had to figure it out on her own? I’m not behind the scenes, I don’t know the full story. I’m gonna give her the benefit of the doubt... but my God, this is awful compared to how good it would’ve looked with proper coloring.

As for the actual writing/pacing/layout

... eh.

Idk whose hands this was in: Scott’s, Kira’s, Pinky’s, some combo, so I don’t know who to be pointing at for this but. Eh. It’s okay, nothing insulting or cringey, at least. 

The pacing is rushed, but I expected that. You have to rush the story in order to fit a 500-page novel into a 200-page graphic novel. I won’t get upset at anyone for this.

But... the layout... eh. I think the problem is that Scott, Kira, and Pinky- none of them are graphic novel artists. Yes, Pinky is an artist, but making single illustrations(like the amazing ones up top) and making a graphic novel are two extremely different arts. Graphic novels aren’t just pictures with text added, you’re telling the story through the images. There are a lot of “1 hour later”s and “...”s the like, which is a super amateur thing to do. You can convey emotions, time skips, mood, etc without having a text bubble for it. Again, nothing against Pinky, but she’s clearly out of her element here and the novel is suffering as a result. 

Honestly, I feel like hiring someone with graphic novel experience instead of hiring Pinky would’ve been a much better call. She’s a good artist, but just... not a good graphic novel artist yet, y’know?

I mean, I got a lot of laughs and memes out of this! ... Only it’s supposed to be sad and scary rather that hilarious and meme-tastic. So... props for ironic enjoyment, at least?

[wysheful]

F hot or cold-diet mountain dew? R, T, U

BRUTAL HONESTY HOUR Asks || Accepting

F: Hot or Cold Diet Mountain Dew?

First off, that’s horrid if you drink it HOT. It’s not a tea or coffee, it loses all carbonation if you drink it hot, so you just taste the syrup. Coke products are meant to be sipped room temp but Pepsi products are meant to be sipped cold.

I do neither because I drink Root Beer. And whenever I drink Mountain Dew, it ain’t diet, honey, and it’s Maui Blast only available at Dollar General #notsponsored.

R: 10 Of My Curiosities

1. Why does Subway have to destroy the sandwich? Have they never made a sandwich before? Is that how you make sandwiches at home *squints at nametag* “Janelle”?

2. Why are Goose evil?

3. Why do people think art needs instructions? Isn’t the saying that it all depends on the artist if it’s correct or not on what the character is supposed to look like? Why can’t we just draw a character and it be a character?

4. *Glances over nervously at my kins*

5. I wonder where they get all the props for Forge in the Fire. Those treasure chests that they stab look like they would cost a pretty penny if bought in bulk. Who sells chests in bulk??

6. If they’re called Airplanes because they’re up in the air, can I call Cars “landrollers” or something?

7. Why do people think they have all the answers and say “don’t trust others” when you could be considered the other and may not have all the true answers? Don’t conform to the “other ideas”. Isn’t that what the others say too???

8. Why did the anon send me these specific questions? Hm. I really hope they don’t drink Hot Mountain Dew. I would have to make a hit list.

9. Would a hit list in that order be a “To Dew List” then?

10. I talk more to my friends than I do when I’m doing anything else. I don’t like talking unless it’s to my friends. I think it’s because they talk about stuff I like and I’m into tho. I think it’s also because I like getting them to talk. They’re very interesting people. Lots of lore.

T: 5 Things I Love Unconditionally?

1. Food. Good food. It can brighten your day. Good food.

2. People being proud of who they are!! When they figure out their true name, what they want to do in life, what they want to go as, how they love to dress, and being able to achieve all that safely is wonderful!!

3. *Side eyes at my quadrants, before squinting* I love them. But at what cost? My sanity.

4. My characters. Even tho they’re b a s t a r d s. I still love the ones that I made when I was like 10 because I love how creative I was.

5. Dream Theory. Even tho they can be scary, I have some very very in-depth dreams. I’ve written a lot of stories and characters just based on dreams.

U: How Many Texts Do I Send daily?

Uhhhhhh, depends honestly?? Some days it feels like a million versus others that feel like at most 5 lmfao.

[szopenhauer]

Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your hometown?           preferred field *chuckle*

Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not? Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to?     yes, I have an idea

Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy?           I haven’t

If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best? -             

Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to?       celebs should help them, not me, I need help myself!

When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Or do you always try out something new? usually

Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home?       old folks’ home for sure

What is the best part of your most ordinary day?   sleeping :x

Do you enjoy being on your own or are you happier when there’s a crowd around you?           I’m a loner/introvert

Do you ever look up what foreign idioms mean?     yep

What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across? I don’t recall atm

What’s a First World problem that you have?         hmm...

Have you ever made a parody version of a popular song?     me and my sister were doing puppet shows for our parents, mostly her ideas as she was forcing me to perform those until I got sick of that

Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess? nie bawiłam się w większość gier przez brak zdrowia, ale lubiłam plac z huśtawkami czy drabinkami, albo udawać rodzinę/dom i te fajne białe “krateczki” z kolorowymi “guziczkami” co jak się je wpinało w dziurki to układało się z nich obrazki (nie pamiętam nazwy)

Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? there isn’t

Does your mother annoy you when the holidays come along in the year? my mom annoys me all the time lol Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? I’m too short but I manage and still some ppl sometimes ask me for help anyway Do you check the texture of things first or the smell of them? used to smell them but now just texture Have you ever broken the arm or head off of a figurine? How did you do this? I’m no Chunk :P

Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? I wouldn’t do that on purpose but I don’t believe in most of the superstitions, luckily there are some things you can do to avoid bad luck like throw salt over your shoulder or knock on non painted wooden thingy etc. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bi polar all the time? I’m sick of ppl who use mental and physical illnesses as excuses when they don’t have them - single headache ain’t a migraine nor being an ass makes you a border, shut up! Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you?  more than once Do you like those ‘end of the world,’ ‘Armageddon’ movies? some are good, some not Ever been choked severely on something? just a feather Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? several like monkey, raccoon or cat Ever been in one of those church Christmas plays before? Why/why not? I didn’t participate but I watched/looked at them when I was younger Have you ever thrown a roll of toilet paper at someone before? ... why? Have you ever found yourself talking to an inanimate object? at times I talk to my computer (because I hate it so we argue), kettle and fridge, also my stuffed animals of course Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: penis Ever think of what it would be like to be a mermaid or merman? I thought and I wouldn’t like it besides maybe finding some cool stuff that drown  What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? creators lack imagination, they ask the same stuff over and over again, it’s boring What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? red Ever want to be a doctor? Is it because of all the hospital shows? noooo Do you like drawing smiley faces or do you think they’re overrated? rarely and I’m ashamed of that tbh Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? hell no but I’m not that bad at it Do you hardly ever remember where you put things at? I have good memory when it comes to that most of the time - not counting my green scissors grrrr Where did you last buy socks from? What do those socks look like? Archelan - Christmas themed and fuzzy  Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because? not as often as I’d like to? Are you afraid of being kidnapped if you go outside at nighttime? raped, killed or robbed more likely Do you like showers or baths better? Why did you choose your choice? baths as I like to sit and I don’t like the glass nor have water over my head  Are you a controversial person? Do your views oppose others? it seems Have you ever thrown a surprise party for someone? Who for? nah, I dislike surprises and there weren’t opportunities/possibilities to do that Do you tap fingernails on desks? hardly ever Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? vocalist (who can play instruments) but I have no talent but don’t worry, it was a childish dream that fade away when I found out more about live of a band member Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? nope, we don’t talk, just say HI if anything  Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? yep Do you ever had to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? camp When is the next time you’ll go to the library? Why is this? we’ll see, covid situation isn’t helpful and I can’t focus on books lately Do you treat others as you’d like to be treated? Have you always? I treat them how they treat me (not authority figures/dangerous ppl tho) Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? sweet and quiet Are you someone who likes to get in arguments or fights a lot? I don’t like to but I still end up arguing, sigh... How do you make sure people know you don’t like them at all? avoid them, block them, ignore them fight with them when they don’t stay away (not physically yet)

How much was the cell phone you have at this moment in time? about 200 PLN  What would you do if you woke up randomly with purple hair? cool but wonder how that happened What color is the closest desk to your body? What all is on it? ugly light brown with shitload of stuff The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? gonna have it soon so don’t remind me Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? aliens tried to abduct me in dreams but didn’t succeed ha!  What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? white Do you like people who are loud or people who are quiet? not too tiring but not completely silent either Does personality weigh out the sense of ‘good looks?’ look is important but not as much as personality for sure, it’s like 1:9 I think Do you hate it when people copy the things you do? could say so Has anyone ever told you that you’re good at cooking? r u kidding?... Do you have any enemies who you think are dangerous? anyone can be Do you ever try to squeeze information out of people? Konrad once told me I’m like a private detective about it because I’m so sneaky they don’t realize until it’s too late but I sadly forget infos quickly due to stress last months so it’s not as useful as it sounds Does it freak you out when the police drive/walk by? somehow Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? I don’t drive Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? I had a friend who was a firefighter

Have you ever woken up to a good morning letter beside you? left in the kitchen but informative like - I went there or feed the dog etc. Would you ever get your nails done? I can do them myself if I ever want to

Are you afraid of worms? maggots Do you wear rings on your thumb? why not How many shirts of yours are red? less than 5 Does the color red look good on you? my first therapist told me I should wear it to be more brave but it causes anger in me so I prefer not to Do you pray before every meal? Sunday lunch with parents Have you ever been caught cheating on a test? not caught but been cheating in high school How many white tank tops do you own? 0? Do loud people bother you? omg YES Does your head itch? not currently but frequently Do you know anyone named John? my ex friend had a nickname like this Have you ever tried the cinnamon challenge? I’m not stupid Are you a fast runner? like Gimli Did you ever want a pet rabbit? no way

Do you ever want to own a house? apartment more likely How do you feel about men? blergh Do you know any police officers? my neighbor was a police officer Have you ever signed a petition? lots Have you ever aspired to start your own business? I wish Who is the oldest person living in the same building as you? mom The youngest? me Would you rather pay with cash or card? cash, cards make me nervous Have you ever used a pager? I have not Do you like visiting the beach? beachcombing is fun Do you like to buy things? but not spend money lmfao Have you ever been in a polygamous relationship? I didn’t know that I apparently am - jk Is there anyone you haven’t spoken to in a long time but you still think about daily? my grandma for example Would you like to be rich? not filthy, having enough money to live and not barely survive

have you ever behaved like a stalker? *crickets* can you lie and keep a straight face? poker face game strong when situation calls for it

have you ever feared for somebody else’s life? especially dad’s do you prefer honesty, even when it hurts? hard to tell if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be? picked my dog’s  have you ever masturbated while driving? wtf, don’t do that, gross how do you feel when someone takes the last of something? without asking? *cringe* how do you feel when people tell you “bless you” when you sneeze? thank you unless I sneeze many times in a row and they bless me every single time - then it’s annoying what are you supposed to say when somebody coughs? r u ok? have you ever committed a violent crime because of a video game or rap song? who said I play/listen to those? have you ever actually overheard one of your friends talking shit about you? possibly how many partners is too many? at once or in your entire life? do you believe that wearing an aluminum foil hat will stop the government from reading your thoughts? that reminds me of the RED movie XD

would you rather have a hook for a hand or a peg leg? peg leg 100% elseway I’d end up with an eye cover as well if you know what I mean bonus points for/to being a pirate tho how close does someone have to be for you to feel obligated to wait and hold the door for them? either right behind me or carry heavy/big load do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose? for example when I worry about it bleeding  what is your cure for the hiccups? wait

Do you miss Brittany Murphy’s appearance in films? awwww she was such a good actress RIP

Is Christmas stressful? to me it is but I’m stressed 24/7

Do you make your own smoothies or juices? meh

Do you think time really does heal all? NO

Are you more sensitive to heat or the cold? cold

Did you care at all when Steve Jobs died? ... he died?

Has anyone searched your room for anything recently? my mother for dirty laundry

When do you decorate for Christmas? as soon as possible

Would you be cool with wearing sweatpants to the grocery store? yes

Have you ever been pranked via a hidden camera? am glad that didn’t happen 

Do you know any of those people who are depressed during the winter? I’m depressed year round

If a job makes you unhappy, do you choose to stay or leave? if I can change it without ending up on the street then I leave

How does your being here in the universe change humanity for the better? nothing? Who is a person that you don’t like yet you spend time with? my family member[s] How is your relationship with money? we don’t see each other as often as I’d like to ;) get it?  How do you feel about growing old someday? won’t live that long

Are you wearing two shirts? too hot for that Have you ever owned the socks with toes on them? disgusting! Can you point out constellations in the night sky? I can not What was your favorite part about studying ancient Greeks and Romans? not interested What’s the last thing you bought at a mall? food, antibacterial gel and a blanket

Is there someone who you can turn to for money and not be ashamed? parents but I’ll feel crappy about it  Have you ever swam in a river? as a child Are there any dirty clothes underneathe your bed? ewww seriously?  What food do you love the smell of while it’s cooking? smells make me sick In what month do you start Christmas shopping? I seek presents whole year then store them for later Have you ever had a crush on a celebrity of the same sex? as a lesbian What kind of flowers would you plant in your garden? bushes, grass, moss and trees, wild flowers, if they want to grow, can stay  Do you believe that kids should be taught abstinence? I agree When’s the next time you’ll go to the grocery store? not in next weeks

Where’s your car keys? not applicable Did you keep any momentos of school dances? pics Do you still have clothes from your high school? and middle school  Do you think you could do better drawings than Napolean Dynamite? this question...

Do you own anything skull print? had a shirt that I gave to John ages ago Who are the three people you consider yourself closest to? parents and my gf Which ex of yours means the most to you? my partner as we’re back together Have you taken prescription medications that didn’t belong to you? oh well... How are your social skills? awkward Have you ever stayed at a hotel for longer than two months? I’m poor Do you ever go outside to look at the stars? there were some days in past summers when me and dad been going to stadium for a walk at night, that’s when and where we saw UFO  Who breaks away from the kiss first? she as she forgets to breathe  Do you know what you weigh? thx for a reminder - they’ll ask in hospital Have you ever smoked anything other than tobacco? one cigarette was all that I smoked in me life Have you ever ridden on the back of a motorcycle? nope Do you say koala bear or simply koala? koala  Do you usually travel anywhere in the winter? I’d freeze brrr Do you wait for someone else to take the garbage out when it’s full? we take turns Are most of your friends white? it’s not America so...

Does your hair reach your boobs? not even my shoulders

What’s something that fills you with anxiety? what doesn’t?...

What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? there’s no expiration date

Have you ever watched Bob’s Burgers? fragments

Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? I wasn’t that much of a note passer 

Do you know anyone who is afraid of horses? nah

Do you clean things that are already clean when you’re bored? tha hell?...

Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? tropical

What do you do when someone overweight complains about being overweight? I say it’s important to be healthy but weight isn’t always a sign of being ill

Is there any Irish, Scottish, or Danish in your heritage? none that I know of

Do you find Asians attractive? yes and no

Have either of your parents ever been to jail? nooooo

Keep Calm and Carry On or Screw Calm and Get Angry? there’s time for one of each?

Do you think Urban Outfitters is overpriced? like every other similar store 

Are your colarbones prominent? yeah

Have you ever in your life worn overalls? I have indeed

How did you react when you heard Whitney Houston had died? sorry but I didn’t care

Do you think Helena Bonham Carter is attractive? she is

Would you rather listen to Dolly Parton or Dusty Springfield? Dolly

Are you watching The Walking Dead? I’m scared of zombies and gore 

Are you a light sleeper? became lighter

Would you consider cuddling cheating? it’s complicated

What does the purse/bag you last used look like? it’s black with red embroidery and white beads

Can you make a clover with your tongue? impossible

What’s your favorite coffee brand/flavor? I don’t drink coffee

Is your belly button pierced? no piercings!