#I cannot do bug stuff
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made to love resident evil games, born to be afraid of spiders
#spiders#cw spiders#tw spiders#(yeah I know there are no actual spiders in this post but whatever)#frantically googling “how many spiders are in resident evil 3”#bc I just got to a REALLY TERRIBLE BIT#and then woke up in the middle of the night and had one of my little hypnogogic hallucinations#(or hypnopompic? idk the one when you're waking up)#that spiders were crawling all over me#but here's the thing#I REALLY ENJOY THESE GAMES#I think re2 is an objectively perfect game#and re4 is about as perfect an action game as you can get#the combination of combat and strategy and puzzle solving?#great games!#but why are they so FUCKING gross#I can deal with body horror#I cannot do bug stuff#ESPECIALLY not spider stuff#BUT I WANNA PLAY THE GAME#anyway#lauren feels things
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I dont think anyone understands the level at which i love fantasy high, this shiw means the fucking world to me
I relate to every character in a different aspect and just their friendship and the way they all care so much for eachother. I think about them constantly and the characters and the cast all bring me so much joy. I could re watch it a thousand times and never get sick of it
Yall just dont get it
#bug talk#fantasy high#fhjy#dimension 20#riz gukgak#fabian seacaster#fig faeth#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#gorgug thistlespring#fantasy high appreciation post#i cannot tell you how many times I’ve cried over this show#not just the actual episodes but everyones amazing fanart and edits and fics#the fandom is so amazing i love you guys all so much#keep doing your cool stuff 🙏🏻
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I'm sorry, I've been trying so hard to accept Izuku becoming a UA teacher but I just can't. I love Horikoshi for the happiness he and his story have brought me over the years, but Izuku being a teacher is just bugging me so hard. I know he'd be an incredible teacher, I'm not arguing against that. But beyond the fact that I think Izuku himself would want to at least stay in the hero industry, I don't think there's any chance Katsuki would've let him give up on being a hero.
I think that's why Horikoshi at least made it a point in canon to emphasize that Katsuki especially was behind funding Izuku's hero suit. Because he of all people could not let Deku go. He needed him to be a hero. And I appreciate that we at least see that much in canon. But honestly I think Katsuki would've stepped in sooner than 8 years later and never would have let Izuku give up on being a hero in the first place.
I don't know at what point Izuku gave up on being a pro hero and started looking at other career options, but whenever it happened, I just know he must have spoken to Katsuki about it. Izuku, unreliable narrator that he is, probably fooled even himself into thinking that he's okay with it. That he's blessed to have lived his dream as long as he did. That his time is over. But Katsuki would've shut that shit right down.
Kacchan Bakugou did not watch Izuku spend 10+ years wanting nothing more than to be a hero, while quirkless, just to then watch him give up on being a hero because he lost his quirk. He would've called bullshit on that immediately.
Katsuki knows Izuku intimately. He knows how badly Izuku needs to be a hero. Being quirkless never stopped Izuku from wanting to be a hero before. There's no reason it should stop him now. And he'd say as much. Ain't no way he'd let Izuku give up on being a hero just because he lost OFA.
#bnha manga spoilers#bakudeku#bkdk#bnha 430#Get out those fucking notebooks of yours‚ Izuku. I know you have plenty of shit written down about support items for a quirkless hero.#katsuki has seen Izuku be quirkless and still want to be a hero so he knows something's wrong here#why doesn't he want to be a hero anymore? what's stopping him?#is there guilt at play here? something to do with not being able to save shigaraki?#or did Izuku become so attached to OFA that he doesn't know who he is without it anymore? doesn't think he can be a hero without it?#he needs Katsuki to remind him of who he was before OFA. of the quirkless boy who wanted to be a hero.#i think what's bugging me so much is that izuku had never shown any interest in being a teacher#if he had wanted to be a teacher since before the war then yes‚ I'd be happy for him and so so proud#good on him for deciding that he wants to help shape the next generation through teaching and whatnot.#maybe he realized that he can inspire others through ways not involving beating villains and stuff#but you cannot tell me he wouldve ended up a teacher had he kept OFA#the only reason he became a teacher is because he lost OFA. he never would've done it otherwise. he would've become a pro hero#that's why it feels like a loss to me. because it's a back up plan. not his true goal.
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I spilt my barbecue sauce and am trying not to get it anywhere else. Im avoiding it like it’s a bug
iiiii fffuckinnn HATE bbq sauce, unless it's on a SPECIFIC meal
avoiding it like it's a bug is completely valid
#although I can't relate bc i usually don't avoid bugs#except for the small ones?#ants and stuff i CANNOT DO.#spiders & beetles are okay#i don't really have to interact with much else#cannot for the life of me stand cockroaches though (for obvious reasons)#they just kinda weird lookin'#not to disrespect or have bias over bug but like#euh#yuck /silly
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Fun Fact: I created about 75% of a presentation on Wheel Bugs yesterday. I'm carrying my group of 3 rn. (<- The animal special interest coming in clutch once again)
#spotatalk#REAL QUICK RANT#ignore this probably lol#just very silly to me because. i wanted to do this project solo. on my own. y'know. lone wolf.#because I was sitting with my friends the prof essentially assigned us to eachother and by the gods I was SO frustrated#I don't like group projects but I REALLY don't like them with my friends. i know who will do stuff and it's not them!!#so I tried to extract myself but they kept dragging me back in... and none of us agreed on a bug until 2 days ago. it's due tomorrow.#so I just locked in and did most of it on my own. it was my plan from the start#I gathered links for us. did 4 of the 6 slides. moved on with life.#just SO not looking forward to presenting because I WANTED to be able to be a nerd avout this but my friends don't have the same enthusiasm#and I just wish I'd put my foot down sooner. oughhh.#(<- Say hello to the most passionate acedemic who simply cannot express their glee about Bugs. i guess.)#okay anyways I'm gonna go eat now lmao. i'm just salty atm 😅
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Sorry if you've already been informed of this, but in case you haven't, I just want you to know that Sam still has the teal pom pom hat! He said on the podcast that he misplaced it almost immediately and thought he had lost it, but that he found it in his bag once he got back!
NO!!! no one told me!!! 😭😭 thank you so much, that teal hat is incredibly important to me and i am delighted he still has it

^^^sam in that hat. to me tbh <3
#😭😭 BESTIE THANK YOU!!!! 🥺💕 i love getting asks. never be sorry for sending asks OR information i love knowing things. even reminded of ‘em#i understand the real life situation here#(person who sets down an item & immediately Cannot See It) (literally today thought my phone must’ve bounced out of the cart -> on my desk)#hOWEVER. in my beautiful mind palace. & also because one time calla was talking about what she & maria talked about with sam’s default bg#on all the seasons on his phone there is something sooooo 🤌 to me about sam who loves the hat so much but knows that people will comment or#note it and ‘loses’ the hat. the hat becomes beloved and therefore it is For Him. which like!!! valid!!!! i don’t really think any of them#wear too much of any kind of branded merch beyond like. cotopaxi stuff and their own jet lag which is good for monetizing and probably like#branding rights or stuff where they don’t get associated with another company or all of that legal libel or whatever. sorry i do not know#YouTube rules but i feel like people are (and sam seems to be very YouTube/business Savvy which side tangent i think adam has talked about#in the process of making jet lag where it was like sam was doing a lot of the work on design because he knew better what kinds of things#would be marketable on YouTube i.e. having the intro voiceover and other stuff that he insisted on that the two of them were like 🤥 about#but he ended up being right so!! definitely something i always have to be like SAM IS MUCH SAVVIER THAN YOU GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR bc i want#to be like haha train boy!! and give him qualities like my beloved Train Boy in my life and like. this sounds SO terrible if i phrase it#like this but the stereotype of the brilliant engineer of whatever: well have i met some (lovely. my best friends) idiot engineers. & this#is how i need to frame sam where it’s like yes he Portrays this character but he is in some ways a massive idiot. like all of us.#the transit is a hobby interest that he knows a lot about but he is very very good at people in the sense of content & relations to have#built this and ADAM is secretly more of that Neurotic Genius type in the way that he plays and i project ***** onto. anyway this is a very#very long aside that is not coherent and could’ve been summed up by saying i need to remember that sam is a frat boy [in spirit?] AND very#aware of how people may be able to perceive him POTENTIALLY.) so the hat is also his awareness of like. if i wear this hat this becomes#part of the bit. in the way them wearing the hats are the bit or while ben does probably dress in very fun outfits in real life his fun#outfits are a Thing. and he liked the hat enough to want it to not be a Thing for everyone. of course there is also the option#sam does not think about ANY of this in the slightest & is not nearly as (manipulative is a negative connotation but I’m not thesarus-ing)#as i am picturing him to be. plain phone screen doesn’t care simple joy of the hat delighted by it would wear it in the same wear he always#wears that bug sweatshirt. (again. could be a Thing he consciously does) & he truly did just think he lost it. bruh forgot a whole pumpkin#um. and it is now at this point that i have returned to reality & have to consider sam in his everyday life just out there wearing this hat#and i’m having cuteness aggression about it. world’s biggest NOOOO FUCK OFFFFF if i have to think about it pulled down!! over his ears!!!#his rosy cheeks!!! SKIING IN IT. although that probably wouldn’t work under a ski helmet but just like. in his daily life. Will it reappear#sam denby#liv in the replies#and also perhaps there is gender there but don’t ask me what i haven’t the foggiest. which is why i held off on saying anything
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tryingggg to decide what augustus and the changeling dress up as for halloween
#N posts stuff#the thing is that augustus is a goth and the changeling is crazy into horror as a genre#augustus doesn’t usually Style traditional goth bc she has too many sensory issues to want to bother with all the variety of it#but i think for halloween she has an outfit that she like. meticulously (and clumsily) lined to be tolerable on the skin#and she goes as a vampire (she has the teeth but always takes them off after like ten minutes bc she cannot speak with them in)#and she gets very excited for it and wakes up early to put it all on and even puts on makeup and it’s like#The One Day she can femme the hell out for#meanwhile the changeling i think picks like. really obscure horror protagonists and gets annoyed when no one recognizes it#like ripley is like ‘okay enough people would recognize the jumpsuit well enough’#but then it’s like. ashley evil dead ‘well. that’s just a guy…’#and it wants to do blood/injury effect makeup SO BAD but it is both extremely mediocre at applying it#and also can’t actually stand the sensation of it on its face for longer than like ten minutes#so then it truly is like Just A Guy. only distinguishable from chsngeling’s usual clothes bc it Only wears black tiedye shirts typically#(the ears stay ON for the halloween costume which. also doesn’t help)#i think they decide to coordinate costumes and it takes them like over a full calendar year to decide on actually following through#bc augustus is like ‘my one costume i’ve worn for the past ten years straight :(‘ and changeling is like ‘well all ur ideas are lame!!’#and then they go as like. The Lost Boys bc it’s vampire enough to satisfy augustus and horror enough for changeling#and no one recognizes what they’re doing and they get so mad about it#and then all this aside i’m also like ‘augustus should make a crazy detailed bug costume and be a beetle’#and Changeling just shows up to work poodling in the hypothetical world it can afford a fursuit. lol#i like you too
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I hate when people ask you something about an interest you have and when you answer they’re like “how do you know?” I’m going to murder you
#not in the curious way I mean the condescending way.#this is specifically about tarantula mating. no my tarantulas cannot mate. no they cant make a hybrid.#do i need to sit you down and tell you about mechanical isolation. they are two different genus'. yes theyre closely related.#no they cannot mate. tehy dont have compatable reproductive organs. do i need to sit you down and explain that or can you shut up when i sa#no they cant breed#like. again i love when ppl ask me stuff about bugs i love to infodump but like.#ok eyah this post is abt someone who keeps asking me this (nbh) and like. hes like why dont you breed your spiders#and im like oh well first of all theyre not mature seconf of all they cant even breed#and hes like oh just have them make a hybrid and im like no they cant breed they cant make a hybrid#AND HES LIKE. oh why dont you try tho like how do you know like what if they make a new species.#im going to kill youand hang you on a fucking meat hook ok ?#like. lIKE. HE DOENST LISTNEN TO ME WHEN I TELL HIM THINGS.'#do ineed to sit you down and tell you that the brachypelma genus' copulatory organs are too small compared to the tliltocatl's#do i need to tell you that the brachypelma genus' spermathica baseplate is much stronger and harder than the tliltocatl's. and therefore-#-the male tliltocatyl could not penetrate it. do i need to explain bug sex to you or are you gonna trust me bro#IKNOW WTA IM TALKIGN ABOUT PELALSSEE#not a big deal just. a major pet peeve of mine\#hollowspeak
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i am once again asking if people post snippets of their fics before they're done. genuinely cannot tell if it's common practice or not. or just irritating. legitimate question
#like i cannot tell if it's typical. i feel like I've seen people do it but i also think i'm misremembering that#is that a thing people do in fandom circles??? i dunno#writing woes#i don't have much i want to post rn bc i've been in writing block mode#but when i'm motivated i do want to share what i have. love progress snapshots#but don't wanna bug people with it y’know?#i just dunno! i want to share what i have to show i Have been chipping away at some of my projects#i am simply slow. but i AM doing stuff.#do people post stuff that doesn't make it into fics? their practice snapshots that go nowhere?#i have NO idea#also. i am still quite tipsy. i am not distressed i am simply uncertain
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Thinking about that "Seb comes from a Mormon family" theory that I have and like...
Holiday stuff would be so funny to try and introduce Carlos to. I've been to SO many Christmas Eve parties in SLC over the years and a lot of them follow the same formula so I just keep picturing this turn of events that's like.
Seb invites Carlos to his farm for the family Christmas Eve party and he's like okay sure. Shows up and oh. It's not just his family. It's the WHOLE family. With like, all 13 of his cousins, and all his aunts and uncles. Okay, this is fine, sure.
Then they do the thing where they pull out a whole ass birthday cake and make everyone sing happy birthday to Jesus and the small kids get to blow out the candles. (My best friend's mom used to hide a tiny plastic baby Jesus in the cake somewhere after it cooled before she frosted it, and if you got it in your slice then it meant you got to read the bible passages about the birth of Christ after dinner in the sitting room and GOD I feel like one of Seb's aunts definitely does that tradition)
After that it's several rounds of charades, a super weirdly competitive edition of White Elephant, and then everyone tromps to cars so they can all drive to Temple Square to go walk around all the lights and the nativity sets.
I feel like Carlos would be mostly out of his element trying to figure out what the fuck is going on during the whole thing. But you could end it really sweet with Seb apologizing at Temple Square for it being too much, and then makes it up to him by doing one of those Christmas "sleigh" rides with the horses and carriages decked out in bells and mistletoe that they have running all over the place in downtown SLC during Christmas.
#bugs rambles#hsmtmts#seblos#that boy is from an lds family and you CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND#carlos rodriguez#seb matthew smith#i am totally normal about them i swear#maybe ill do an in between thing between book 1 and 2 of my rewrite of their holiday break#because theres a lot of stuff i could include#utah christmas goes HARD#and i say this as a jewish girl
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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(
#im actually very upset abt this lol#all of the other tricks ive found rely on having a dog to walk#and like i would love to get my own dog but i absolutely cannot afford one lmao#so i guess i just. still can't go on walks#nobody seems to understand just how impossible it is for me to walk down the street when im not trying to get somewhere#like just going for a walk for fun/to look at nature feels like im being killed#people are LOOKING at me and when someone even so much as glances at me while im walking i instantly feel like I'm doing something wrong#or like they're going to misunderstand my sort of odd behaviors#i can't walk slow because they'll think im a stalker. i can't walk fast because ill get out of breath and they'll think im disgusting#i can't keep a normal pace because im too nervous and i just spend the whole time tense and hate myself even more when i get home#like. what the hell am i supposed to do lol#getting a dog is the only way i think i could stop myself from spiraling like that bc of COURSE im walking slow and leisurely.#im walking my dog. my dog wants to smell and has to poop or whatever#im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog#this became more of a vent than i was expecting lmao but if anyone has any actual tangible tips for how to go on walks i would appreciate it#when i had to walk 2 miles to class i used to take a small part of an edible right before i got on the bus lmao and that worked WONDERS#but i don't want to have to do that just to walk around my own neighborhood when i eventually move out#i just want to be normal lmao i want to go out and find bugs and look at leaves#i guess i could walk in the woods but what if i get lost#i want to be able to look at stuff. i want to be able to stop and look at a plant while some person passes by me#without feeling like im going to blow up or like they're going to hit me or like IM going to hit THEM#im used to anxiety but i always feel so erratic in public places. when everyone wore masks i was a little better#i still mask most of the time but it doesn't help anymore bc now im like one of the only people that does it#so now instead of blending in AND having my face covered i just stand out more#my face is still covered so it still helps but its like barely a net positive lmao#i want to be able to look around without worrying that someone is looking at me from their window and thinks im a stalker#truly how the hell am i supposed to do that without a dog lol
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the only thing that keeps me going in the school year is academic validation
#i am nothing without praise from teachers/my talent search woman officer thing#and my parents#last year i was crumbling because i kept getting sick and my grades dropped so much#not this year#i cannot do that again#god i always feel like my mental health is better during summer#i just get so bad during the school year#tw for relapse in this last bit don't continue if that's something you can't handle rn 🫶#also i always end up relapsing in the school year#with everything#my ed flares up so bad during school and my coping mechanism for that is not any better#im just trying to stay positive but its kinda hard when all of my thoughts are fighting in my head#bugs junk#vent#sorry guys#like#really sorry#i know i try to keep in positive and funny here#ill be fine soon my posts Will be normal again and sharks/mlm stuff again
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IN ANOTHER LIFE I A M A PARTY GIRL THO
#bunny speaks#I forget to be sad about the things that I just. miss out on bc of my autism#I think bc for a long time I thought it was Just Me?#(but to be fair. the pretentious bug bites me quite a bit)#I dunno. my friends are talking about clubs and partying and going to New Orleans and gambling#and like I think a lot abt accessibility. I am the biggest proponent of Not every activity needs to be accessible bc it CANT#you CANNOT make a club accessible for me and THAT IS OKAY#I dunno. I've also never really had friends who wanted to Do that kind of stuff before though#I just. I hope they don't feel like I'm a bummer bc I miss out and don't want to go. but I also hope they don't ever feel guilt for going#but I love having multiple autistic ppl in my life. there are so many who also think actual partying is hell on earth <3#need to find ones who will also want to hang out!!! inside. where I don't. have to. feel any. bass#bunny vents
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is it weird to be so extremely uncomfortable with paragraphs with lines that are unequal or lacking a consistent, harmonious transition in length that you have to edit what you write specifically to create a less aesthetically jarring presentation bc it bothers you. or is it normal
#probably to delete but.#just realizing exactly how much i cannot let a paragraph be gross to look at#like. writing my thesis conference paper and realizing im spending so long on each paragraph just so there's no weird gaps of space#minor discrepancies are fine-ish although they still bug#but like. i worry that im spending a not insignificant amount of time on it#it's not even about other people seeing it its just me and me feeling like its wrong to leave it like that#like i do it with non-academic work including personal stuff that only i see#i like physically cant leave a paragraph with a major gap in it (unless like. its poetry or a specific writing choice or something)#(said remembering when i was a sophomore in high school and thought i was so so so so so clever playing with font style in my assignment)
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guys i cannot lie.... i have turtle brainrot
#i am cringe but i am free.....#the nostalgia bug bit me so bad after my friend and i saw mutant mayhem#i'm watching both the 2012 and 2018 series rn and i even rewatched the bay movies during my weekend...#cannot stop going through the rise series tag like it's BAD#i am even drawing them.....#tbf this is very in character for me like every few years i get mega fixated on some nostalgia media#it's just been awhile and i'm hoping it doesn't become Serious bc i got wayyy too much 1d stuff to finish#but also i'm not gonna limit my range anymore like all my interests already contradict each other? i just#don't post about them much here :#it's a dumb longterm anxiety thing me always caring about serving people and only doing what i think people want me to do#in order to appease the audience or w/e but tbh i'd rather come off as an artist who just Goes With It#even if it confuses people? in terms to the variety in content?#it's like everyone but me can do it but. no more!#if i make anything i'll probably only post it to my art accounts but we'll see.....#alex talks
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I’ve spent ages lamenting to my parents that being in my childhood bedroom has left me like, 0 room to grow as an adult
And finally my mom has relented and agreed to trade rooms with me - because her room is basically two rooms in one, and now SHE’S lamenting about where she’s gonna put HER stuff and I’m like
SEE
S E E
IM NOT CRAZY!!! YOU CANNOT CONTAIN ALL OF THE POSSESSIONS OF ONE ADULT INTO A SINGLE ROOM!!!!
#nsfwitchytalks#I CANNOT FIT ALL MY STUFF#OVER HALF THE FURNITURE IN THAT ROOM IS FOR A CHILD#which I don’t mind like it’s cute furniture#but it’s small as FUCK#I have hobbies now y’all#I collect dolls. I grow plants. I own bugs.#all these things require space bestie!!!!#space I do not have!!!!!!
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