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foli-vora · 4 years ago

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more than words - pt.1

A/N: I’ve had this in my head for forever and a half so it feels good to finally sort my thoughts and random notes out. Hope you enjoy!

Summary: The one person who you thought would be happy for you finally getting with someone decent was your best friend. After all, he had set you both up. Who would’ve thought he’d be the reason it all falls apart?

Pairing: best friend!Benny Miller/f!reader, Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales/f!reader

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: alcohol consumption, swearing, mentions of sexual acts/sexual refences (no smut yet but it’s coming so this is strictly 18+)

pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4 / pt.5 / pt.6

+++

Wednesday nights were pizza nights. A rule established in the early stages of your friendship with Benjamin Miller – a loud mouth, golden hearted ex-spec ops mess of a human being. A chance meeting one stormy day on the freeway, led to something you weren’t expecting – a friendship, and a solid one at that.

“– she damn near tried to suck the life out of me!”

“Jesus Ben, there are kids a table over.”

“So? They shouldn’t be eavesdroppin’ on conversations that don’t concern them.” He grins lopsidedly at your scowl of disapproval, ripping off a mouthful of pizza and humming as he chews it, head swaying to the faint music playing behind the bar. “You’re payin’, by the way.”

You snort quietly, “Don’t I always?”

He recoils, blinking in playful surprise. “Excuse you? I paid last…” he trails off, eyes rolling to the wall as he thinks but a frown soon pinches his brows. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I love you and I appreciate you.”

You laugh quietly, shaking your head as you signal for another round. “Anyways, reverting to our previous topic before you got carried away with your blowjob story.”

He makes a noise, snapping his fingers as he tries to rush chewing and swallowing his mouthful. “So,” he starts, “I’ve got a friend…”

You groan immediately, letting your head lull back. “Ben –”

This wasn’t anything new. Benny took it as his own personal mission to fix you up with anyone he thought could give you a good time and treat you well. Friends, colleagues, Hell – even his brother at one point. Will was lovely, by all means, but not your type. Both you and Will had agreed you were not a match in the slightest early in the evening, enjoyed a night of beer and pool, and then went your separate ways.

Although, now that you thought about it, Ben hadn’t mentioned setting you up with anyone for a long while. Not since before his mysterious trip.

You still didn’t know anything about it, other than he and some old work friends went on an apparent ‘vacation’. It was more than that – you knew it, and he knew you knew it, but you didn’t push the topic. Instead of interrogating him, forcing question after question on him, you let it go, sensing it was something he really didn’t want to talk about.

He had returned from that trip a few months ago, heavy with exhaustion and usually bright eyes dull and weary. You tucked him into your bed, and left him. He slept for hours. It wasn’t until much later that evening that you crept in to see how he was doing, and found him thrashing silently in the sheets, sweaty and incoherently mumbling, face pinched and puckered in pain. You didn’t wake him. Instead, you knelt beside the bed, softly stroking along his forehead until his erratic movements and breathing calmed. You didn’t bring it up.

“I know, I know,” he threw his hands up in defence with a small grin, “but I think you’ll like this one.”

“That’s what you always say.”

“No, I mean it this time. He’s a real good guy – one of my closest. I think you guys would really hit it off. I haven’t tried to set you up before because he was with the chick but she upped and left him alone with the baby and –”

“Sorry, what?”

“What?”

“He has a baby? Like a… like a child?”

Benny frowns defensively, “You’ve always said you want kids!”

“It’s still a huge commitment, Ben.”

“Jesus, I’m not walking you down the aisle! Just meet him and see where it goes. If it ends in some good sex, you say ‘thank you Ben’ and we move on. And if it ends in something more, you guys take it slow and buy me wings as a thank you.” He shrugs, looking thoroughly impressed with himself, and reaches for his beer, polishing it off in one swig.

“And what if it ends in bad sex?” You challenge, crossing your arms on the table and leaning forward to eye him critically.

He scoffs, “Woman please. I know my brothers. You’ll be in good hands.”

You take a moment to thank the waitress as she stops at your table with your beers. She lingers just a little on passing Ben his, an act he didn’t miss as he shoots her a wink and a honeyed, thanks sugar. She smiles, cheeks flooding with colour before she turns and waltzes off towards other customers, swinging her hips as she goes.

You’re expressionless when he finally turns back to you, “Sugar?”

“Shut your mouth.”

Façade cracking, a snicker falls past your lip and you chuckle. “Alright,” you concede, “you’ve got my interest. What’s his name?”

“Fish.”

… what?

“Come again?”

“Francisco – we call him Fish. Catfish, actually.”

“Your age?”

“Bit older.”

You sigh deeply, rolling your head on your shoulders in thought. You were curious, no doubt about it. Despite never being able to make anything last long-term out of the list of men Benny had set you up with, none of them were bad guys. They were all kind, funny and incredibly respectful. One great thing about Benjamin Miller was that he had an impeccable taste in character.

“I don’t know, Ben –”

He slips his phone from his pocket and swipes away at his screen before wordlessly handing you the device. It was a photo, taken from one of Benny’s many weekend trips into the wilderness. Your eyes are dragged from the incredible background of snow peaked mountains and lush green forests to the man standing beside Benny, tucked under his arm. Average build and height, a well-loved trucker cap hiding dark hair. Warm brown eyes, crinkled from a large dimpled grin between dark patched facial hair.

Benny, seeing the sudden spark of interest, grins around his beer bottle. “So, I’ll slip him your number?”

You tighten your jaw and hand his phone back, sniffing impassively as you reach for your beer. “If it means you’ll leave me alone, then fine.” You mutter coolly, ignoring his quiet chuckle.

“Wait, wait – you have a best friend and it’s not one of us? I’m cut, Benny. Cut real deep.” Santiago Garcia was curious, to say the least. For years, he had known the youngest Miller and he had never mentioned anyone beyond their little circle or their families. “She cute?”

Benny huffs a chuckle, leaning across the pool table and lining up the final ball. “Hell yeah, she’s cute.”

“Where you been hiding her?”

“She moved away – only came back late last year.”

Santi hums, “Ironhead – she cute?”

Will half smiles, dragging his attention away from the pool table to shrug. “She’s alright.”

His bait works. Benny snaps it up – hook, line and sinker. He stands abruptly from his shot, cue just skimming the white ball, and points an angry finger in his brother’s direction, “I won’t take that shit. She’s a damn angel and you know it.”

Will chuckles to himself before returning his attention to Santi. “Yeah, she’s cute. Show ‘em.”

Benny briefly steps away from the pool table, opens his phone and brings up your Instagram profile, throwing it to Pope and letting him scroll through your feed.

“How come you’ve met her and we haven’t?” Pope aims his question at the older Miller brother, currently bent over the table and pocketing the black ball.

He half shrugs, straightening. “He set us up. It didn’t work out.”

Santi’s face puckers into a teasing glower, and he pouts at the younger Miller. “So, what? You set everyone else up and just leave me to die alone? What’s that about, Benjamin?”

Benny holds his arms out in obvious exaggeration, gesturing deliberately to himself. “You’ve got me.”

Frankie quietly sips his beer and watches in fond amusement, content to stay in the background and away from the bickering. Like Santi, his interest had been piqued but he was somewhat nervous about the situation. He already had feelings of apprehension returning to the dating scene after the shit show of a year he’d had, and those feelings tripled when it came to potentially dating someone close to one of his longest friends. He hadn’t dated in years. He was rusty. What if he disappointed you and Benny ended up kicking his ass? It could get messy real quick.

“I don’t know, man.” He finally pipes up, crossing his arms comfortably across his torso and reclining in the bar stool after peaking over Santi’s shoulder and at the screen he was lazily scrolling through. Ha. Way out of his league. “This kinda shit never works.”

“You sayin’ she’s not good enough for you?”

Frankie shakes his head, rolling his eyes. “You know I’m not.”

“Sounds like you are.”

“Quite the opposite.”

“I’ll take his spot. Give me her number.” Santi holds a hold out, clicking his fingers impatiently when Benny merely rolls his eyes. Pope grins, settling back into his seat and elbowing Frankie softly. “I think you should go for it, man. She seems great, and you need to get back out there.”

“I can’t, I’ve got Mena –”

“And Mena’s got her tío. Go for it. You’re just looking for excuses – no seas cobarde.”

Frankie chews on his lip as he gives it a bit of thought, wondering what’s the worst possible case scenario that could come from it. A busted lip? His self-image in ruins? Scared off from dating for the rest of his life? All things he could live with.

“… alright.”

Immediately, Benny perks up from setting the pool table with a large grin. “Yeah?”

Fish sighs, long and drawn out as Pope playfully pokes his side. “Yeah. Give me her number, I’ll message her now.” Before he freaks and changes his mind.

Maybe he was just thinking too much. What’s the worst that could happen?

Tags: @anu-simps

#francisco morales x reader #frankie morales x reader #francisco morales x you #frankie morales x you #francisco morales x f!reader #frankie morales x f!reader #frankie morales #francisco morales #benny miller x reader #benny miller #triple frontier #pedro pascal x reader

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antiloreolympus · 3 years ago

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5 Anti LO Asks

1. Total crack theory but RS is gonna put Hera and Zeus in an open marriage to diffuse the criticism Hera gets for her affairs

From OP: Imagine? I personally don’t know how I’d feel about them being in an open relationship at this point. Especially since they’re like 2000+ years old. If they both wanted an open relationship, they should’ve had one by now. It’d feel too forced for me but that’s just my opinion.

2. i see some defense of LO is that "it makes more sense when you binge it" which is like??? if you can only kinda make sense of the story having to have binge 10-20+ episodes in a row then thats bad writing. an episode should be able to stand on its own and push some sort of aspect along (character/relationship/plot), not be broken up into 10 different pieces. that's both an un-fun reading experience but also comes across as rachel being a weak writer who is dragging it for her own monetary gain.

From OP: I always found that to be a weird take because obviously the story would make more sense binged. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t critique what’s already there. For example, a lot of shows have seasons and come out weekly. Of course the show would be better completed but people are going to talk about the episodes/seasons as they air instead of waiting like 4-5 years for the whole thing to come out, that’s just how it works.

3. Persephone isn't even mature enough to finish her homework or work basic technology, of course she's not mature enough for queenship, marriage, and being a mother of her own, but goddess forbid rachel let persephone be over the age of 25. she'd be an old maid by then!

4. even ignoring the fact the covers themselves are boring (and the nasty business practice of having several covers as "collectables" to artificially pump up book sale numbers, which other printed webtoons DONT do) what do the covers even tell us? because unless theyre already webtoon readers (which the mass majority physical book readers are not) they're not going to realize it's mythology related, and they're often just bizarre compositions that don't reel you in. It's just bad all around.

5. the funny thing about the "persephone smells like death" claim by rachel is thats ANOTHER thing she lifted (either intentionally or not) by PJO. there was a lot of PJO content on tumblr when she was on it years ago that she probably caught it without even realizing it. Anyway both of them are weird for thinking it's cute persephone smells like shit??? weirdos. why that of all things to point out about her?

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lo critical #lore olympus critical

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weresilver · 4 years ago

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40 (almost kiss) + 54 (secret relationship)? 🥰

Being in bed at 12:00 am will not stop me, I guess. Bonus Getting Together, I guess. Spent 3 or so hours at this. Ops.

Post S4. This is a disgusting amount of fluff. Unbeta'd (but self proof-read) as I wrote this from 12 am to 3:30 am.

On AO3

Years In The Making

Not that he believed it, but he was sure most people around him would say it was meant to be; something fated somewhere to happen somehow. Eddie didn't really believe that.

What he did believe was that they may have been too afraid (or maybe too repressed, in his case) to see what was going on, what had been growing for a long while. Years, maybe?

But getting shot (again) had given him a good shake, and he could say he'd been almost disappointed to see Ana by his bedside. No fault of her own, of course not, but...

He was pretty sure of what he wanted at that moment.

Breaking things off with her hadn't been that difficult, or painful, a couple of weeks after his return home. Ana's disappointment was clear, but she seemed to know as well as he did that they weren't going anywhere as a couple. With a promise to stay in touch, she walked out of his home one last time.

Now all he had to do was talk to Buck.

Buck had been cagey for the first few days when Eddie had asked him about Taylor. It took about a week and a couple of beers for him to blurt out, "She kissed me then ran out." He fidgeted for a couple of minutes. "Then she came back and we talked through it."

Eddie's heart sank, but he still put on a smile for the sake of his friend (if that was all that he would be for Buck, he'd make do). "And?"

"And we are at very different stages when it comes to romance." Buck shrugged, but the tiny frown was right there between his brows. "She became a good friend, but damn, we wouldn't have lasted as a couple."

Buck finished his beer and turned to Eddie, though not looking beyond the water bottle he was holding in his one good hand.

"She, uh... She isn't quite who I want." Buck cleared his throat, abruptly standing up and walking away from the dining table to place his empty bottle in the recyclable bin. "How is Ana, by the way?"

Eddie accepted the deflection well enough, watching as Buck stood by the doorway with his arms crossed, a stance that tried to project calm. Eddie doubted he was anywhere near it; he never enjoyed talking about failed relationships (including those that never took off).

"We broke up last week," he replied easily, standing up to refill his bottle in the kitchen. "Don't worry," he added, seeing the wide-eyed surprise (and dare he say, hope?) in Buck's expression. "It was pretty amicable and even. We both saw we weren't going to get anywhere and decided to split."

"Okay," Buck whispered, following him into the kitchen. "You okay?"

Eddie nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I'm fine." Though he had to ask... "Who is it?" Buck's confused, scrunched-up expression was pretty damn cute, making him look a little bit more like the Golden Retriever pup Hen and Chimney often compared him to. "You said Taylor isn't who you want, so who is it?"

"Eddie," he said on a groan, though he simply leaned against the counter instead of answering.

"See," Eddie spoke with a new bout of confidence (maybe just as ill-placed as the excitement he was starting to feel), standing against the sink across from Buck. "I'm kind of hoping for a specific answer here."

Buck didn't reply. Eddie had barely even noticed a shift in Buck's expression before he moved into his space, pressing a hard kiss against his lips, a huge contrast to how softly his hands cradled his head and how careful he was to not press against the sling and his injured shoulder.

Eddie wasn't sure if the bottle ended up on the sink or on the floor by their feet. What mattered was that he managed to get his hand on Buck's neck, drawing him even closer.

(Not that Buck let either of them press too close, and god, he loved him.

And he was distantly aware that he should be at least a little freaked out over the thought after one kiss - their first kiss - but, well... Years in the making and all that.)

One kiss became two, became many, and Eddie could see the same feelings reflected in Buck's blue eyes. Belonging, a finally and a home.

There was no need to go beyond kissing and cuddling, both of them content to sit even closer together, hands intertwined whenever they could.

It was... Soft in a way Eddie hadn't had in so long, intimate in ways he thought he wouldn't experience.

And they weren't subtle, weren't actively trying to keep anything a secret. Eddie was still off work, doing his PT as he should and Buck had been staying at his house (their home, he couldn't help but think every time) since Eddie got out of the hospital anyway.

But two months passed and the only two people aware of the change in their relationship were Christopher and Carla because they found them cuddled up on the couch, Eddie knocked out by painkillers and then too out of it to deny anything when his son questioned him about it.

(Christopher had simply nodded with a mumbled "Good" and left it at that. They still had no idea what that was about.)

The sling had come off a few days ago, though he still couldn't do that much, and it was driving Eddie up a wall. Buck was at the station, and he didn't want to think about the conniption he'd have if he drove there.

He knocked on Christopher's bedroom door, opening it slowly to see his son smiling at him from where he sat with his book.

"Hey, buddy." It was impossible not to smile back, feeling the all-encompassing warmth at the fact that he was still here, could see his son growing up for a while longer. "What do you say we pay a visit to the station?"

The frown he got for that was so much like Shannon's that he didn't know what to do with the pang in his chest. There was no guilt, not then, over the fact he missed her. He just did, she should be able to see how much their kid was growing, how much like her he could be sometimes. And maybe she was, if the afterlife turned out to be a thing after all.

"You are not supposed to drive."

And that tone was way too much like Buck's, just this morning, for Eddie to hold back his laughter.

"I was thinking we could take an Uber." He shrugged with his left shoulder. He might have been desperate to get out of the house, but he wasn't stupid; he didn't want pain and he didn't want to end up lectured by the entire team once he got there. "What do you say?"

Christopher considered it for a moment, then placed his bookmark and got up. "Let's go!"

"You better not have come in your car, Eddie!"

He rolled his eyes at the very much expected exclamation as Christopher giggled beside him.

"Don't worry, Buck," the kid said, walking ahead as Buck came downstairs. "I didn't let him drive."

"Thank God for you, kid," Buck said, kneeling on one knee to give Chris a hug. "Your dad is stubborn, he probably would have driven here if it weren't for you."

"Hey!" There was no real annoyance in his protest, but Eddie still said, "I get enough sass from my kid, don't you start, too."

Buck, in such a show of maturity, stuck out his tongue at him before turning to Christopher once again.

"Come on, buddy, let's go see the fun people."

Chris' laughter echoed in the station, and Eddie let the light atmosphere carry him upstairs to the loft where he was greeted by the rest of the team with hugs, and some friendly pats on (thankfully) his uninjured shoulder.

Chimney and Hen immediately walked with Christopher to the pinball machine, and Bobby had given him a plate of leftover breakfast to carry wherever he ended up sitting.

He chose the couch, where Buck had already made himself comfortable again and was currently watching the trio at the machine. They could hear Hen encouraging Chris to beat Chim's high score.

"Hey you," Buck greeted softly, an arm going around his shoulders as Eddie adjusted himself.

"Hey yourself." Buck glanced at the other side of the loft, then pressed a quick peck to his lips. Apparently, everyone was sufficiently distracted. "How are you?"

"So far so good." He took one of the biscuits from Eddie's plate, quickly popping it into his mouth as if Eddie hadn't sat here to share them. "I'd ask how your day is going, but it's obvious you're bored out of your mind."

Eddie groaned, letting his head fall back against Buck's arm. He was beyond bored, at this point, and no amount of movies or video games had helped. Buck's chuckle beside him was another pretty good incentive to get out of the house.

He turned his head to face him, his own expression undoubtedly soft as he took in the man that had been by his side for so long and for so many things already.

Buck's expression softened even more, somehow, his smile bright as the sun and even warmer. He leaned closer and-

And what sounded like a very undignified squeak interrupted their almost-kiss, causing Eddie to huff in mild annoyance and turn around.

Chimney stood by the dining table, gaping at them. Bobby was still in the kitchen and turned to look at them at the sound of Chimney's squeak.

"What's wrong, Chim?" Hen asked, frowning all the way from the pinball machine (where Christopher continued to play).

"They..." He gestured between the two of them. "Since when are you two together?!" He ignored Hen's own surprised exclamation. "They were about to kiss!"

"Yeah," Eddie confirmed, nonchalantly making himself comfortable in Buck's arms in the new position so he could look at the rest of their team. "And you had to ruin the mood."

Buck hid his face in his hair, and Eddie could hear the quiet snickering. They really thought the others would have caught up after two months of visiting Eddie at least once every few days.

"What about Ana?"

"We broke up two months ago, man."

"And Taylor?"

"Dude, we never started dating in the first place." The exasperation was clear in Buck's voice. "She's really just a friend."

Chimney nodded, satisfied for the time being. They had no doubt that there would be more questions later.

"When did this even happen?" Hen asked this time, walking over with Christopher.

"Two months ago," Chris answered before either of them could, smiling a little too innocently. "A week or something after Dad broke up with Miss Flores."

Eddie had no idea Christopher knew that level of details, but he had definitely been out of it when he told him. Maybe he said more than he remembered.

"Well," Bobby finally spoke up, walking over to their little family unit on the couch, now that Christopher was tucked on Eddie's other side. "I'm happy for you two." Eddie could feel whatever tension had been on Buck's body (not that there was much in the first place) drain out of him at Bobby's words. "And we can deal with HR and paperwork once you're back at the station," he added, directed at Eddie. Bobby's smile was genuinely warm, putting him even further at ease.

Years in the making. Maybe it was obvious to everyone else, but Eddie wouldn't change a thing about the road they took to get here. It had been hard and full of hurt, but what they had was solid and them and it was definitely worth it all.

Including the cheering, clapping, and whistles of everyone else when Buck pressed a kiss to his lips right there and then simply because he could.

#9-1-1 #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #9-1-1 on fox #buddie #my writing #911 #911 on fox #I have no idea how many words this is #it just happened #WeresWriting

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onlyhereforangst · 4 years ago

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WWR

Alright y’all a likely final WWR coming at you, you know 3 months late the day of the dreaded s19 premiere. This definitely gets ranty and emotional, if you’re a Gibbs stan scroll the fuck away & don’t send me hate anon. This is bittersweet and it hurts and I’ve been living in denial for months but I needed this little bit of closure before the writer’s absolutely fuck it up in less than 6 hours. I hope you enjoy my emotional ramblings & I’ve absolutely loved writing these for the past two years, i’ll miss it & your reactions to it dearly ❤️

Badass Ellie is allllllways a treat, and protective nick contrasted to her making albeit slightly reckless decisions is top tier. And then followed up by him being impressed as hell??? He’s like damn my girl just did that and I am not turned on, no way, we are working I am not turned on, nope. Nick sitting at Ellie’s desk in the beginning PLS. Feet kicked up feeling mighty comfortable for someone who hates sitting at a desk 👀 only ok with it when it’s Ellie’s, huh Nick? Also I love that he’s sticking with the nonchalant approach like he did when he found her looking up Eastern Europe locations. He knows if he pushes too hard it won’t go well, but he is still concerned for her well-being. Those pieces slowly clicking into place that something isn’t just off- it’s worrisome off. Because while yes he’s still nonchalant he’s a touch more serious this time, ignoring her attempt at a brush off and claiming “he wants answers.” It’s a subtle step up from 18x14, but it’s there. His spidey senses are tingling and he’s getting less and less able to hide his concern for her 🥺 even if he tries to play it off as flirty banter because yes he’s still gd impressed with her moves and even tells Vance as such essentially.

Flash forward to at the stash house and they find the files plus the mini debrief back in the bullpen…I truly am inclined to believe Ellie doesn’t know here. I mean sure she realizes that the timing fits to a certain extent—she was at NSA when this happened, but I don’t think she knows this is the beginning of her end. She’s like “oh they’re selling secrets too” and “my contacts are all gone” like…I just, she seems too casual and not at all on edge. Idk so far I’m just not getting that vibe. She even brushed off McGee with the whole that was ten years ago almost like she didn’t remember it? But then at the same time she did bring up the whole legal vs ethical- she hedged, but she did mention it. She was not super gung-ho about OMG THIS WAS SO UNETHICAL WTF HOW COULD THEY DO THIS so still……..idk lets continue haha

Ok her knowledge of guns is slightly concerning but also Nick finds it concerning AND hot, boy can’t help himself lets be honest. That “damn” that slips out please, so many sirens going off in that head but also you’re just like well fuck talk dirty to me some more babe. Aaaaand here we go, here’s why I know Ellie didn’t know that odette was going to plant that shit right now. “Whoever took them from the NSA’s code-level servers risked a lot more than their career” with a little like duh face from Ellie SCREAMS that she did not, would not, EVER do that. The leak was fabricated by Odette and the fact that it would be planted during this case was all Odette unbeknownst to Ellie. Or why the fuck would Ellie so casually and somewhat judgmentally be like “who TF would leak something like that, man they stupid, committing treason and whatnot.” And Ellie is SHOOK when Vance tells her it was her. Like shook as in, blinks several times, shifts her weight back, glances at McGee with a flash of surprise in her eyes. That body language screeeeeams being caught off guard. If she had leaked those documents and if she had known this was a plant, she wouldn’t be caught off guard. And no matter how well you can try and play the part, that body language is legit. She’s shocked someone would even think about that and oh man, Nick. Nick’s face hurts me (and I know this is just the beginning). Because a man who has always seen himself as the bad egg, the criminal so to speak, the one who would do something shady before any of the others. He is shook and angry that Vance could even consider accusing Ellie of this. And then there’s the genuine concern etched on his face (and I’d know, the screen is currently paused on his face staring at Ellie with a worried furrowed brow and pain clenched in his jaw) because he knows logical Ellie wouldn’t do this but also he knows he’s been seeing little puzzle pieces fall into place of suspicious behavior and this is just one more thing that doesn’t sit right with him- doesn’t fit the woman he’s come to know and love. And while I know he truly believes she didn’t leak the files, I would bet right here he’s concerned about what the fuck she’s gotten herself wrapped up in.

And she continues to be adamantly against this, like Eleanor Raye Bishop would NOT ever leak intel, not as a baby NSA analyst who believed she was doing the right thing always in her role. Never once bringing up questionable ethics, she thought it was the greater good, that little patriot. She’s so adamantly against it and then Vance asks if she was framed, and I think that’s the point where Ellie realizes this is Odette. The word framed all of a sudden clicks it all into place and she picks up it might be “go time” for her. Her glances over at Vance have changed, they’re more cautious, calculating. She hears they’ve been leaked over ten years ago and she knows that she didn’t do it 10 years ago so this very well may be the notice of eviction from Odette. The “we’re coming for you, Agent Bishop” and her little look, oooooh Ellie is fired up. Her switch flipped and she’s now gotta hunker down and defend herself until she can confirm with Odette. Vance doesn’t even let her get a word in to “fight” for her innocence. But the fact that she’s getting sent home pisses her off, she wants to be close to the investigation, know what’s happening, and I’m sure a part of her still resists being dubbed that traitor of the state. Who knows, Odette may have never told her how she would become a disgraced NCIS agent, and this may have pissed Ellie off because her integrity is something she prides herself on. Her line, “I’m not Gibbs […] I’m innocent line” is like a tiny bright spot to chuckle in during this dismal finale. Gibbs hate train right hereeeee

Love that Kasie is immediately on the Ellie defense side, not looking forward to her reaction to Ellie leaving IF they even decide to show us.

Gibbs telling Ellie “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” when he fucking up and left the team without so much as a goodbye or sorry for committing police brutality like fuck outta here Gibbs. Ellie is CLEARLY vulnerable right now, she’s been accused of leaking classified documents aka committing treason, she’s suspended, she’s on the brink of going on some dumbass undercover op and is begging, pleading, for any sign from you- her boss and father figure- not to do it. That he shows remorse for leaving the team without a word, that he regrets his decision to just disappear on them, that he wishes he hadn’t or he had done it differently. ANY kind of sign to tell her not to go through with what she’s about to go through. Literally any sign, and instead Gibbs gets defensive and bites back that she’s picking the wrong time in her life (LIKE HELLO YOU JUST SAID IT RIGHT THERE IDIOT, SHE’S GOING THROUGH SHIT MAYBE YOU SHOULD FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS BUT NO YOU’RE WRAPPED UP IN GIBBS LA-LA-LAND AND HAVE SAID FUCK YOU TO YOUR SUPPOSED KIDS), so now Ellie is even more pissed and gets defensive back telling him he doesn’t even know what’s going on in her life and if that’s not a desperate cry for help I don’t know what is. like she is begging you Gibbs to pick up on it and figure it out, begging you to do your job that’s you’re supposedly so good at and save her from going through with this stupid mission. And then Ellie realizes that he stopped caring about them. He’d gotten so wrapped up in what he was doing, he stopped caring about their lives, the problems they were facing, anything. Him *not* realizing something was happening??? This is Gibbs, this is the man that always knows what’s happening before you even know what’s happening. So the words “I’m starting to realize that” hit like a fucking dump truck. He’s too preoccupied with his own boat-making nonsense that he can’t be bothered to have even an inkling of an idea of what’s going on in their lives. And he doesn’t seem to care that he’s dropped them from his life. And that’s when it hits Ellie, he’s never coming back. He’s cut the team out of his life and he doesn’t care. He has no regrets, he can’t even be bothered to have a single regret. And I think that, right there, is when Ellie decides she’s all in. I think there was always a small part of her that was hesitant to go along with odette. Hesitant to just upend her career and her relationships (aka Nick, but we’ll get to this), all of it. But hearing that the man she looked up to even though he’d made some mistakes, the man she viewed as a father, the one person who’d taken a chance on the nerdy analyst long ago, the one constant through all the turmoil she’d had, just left? Just left without a goodbye, without remorse, without even a parting thought for her? That was it for her. Whatever brainwashing Odette had fed her that she’d pushed back against from fully taking over finally broke free. And with it, Ellie grieves, she’s tearing up from knowing what she’s about to lose. Lose the man she viewed as a father, the coworkers that were like a family, the partner she’d found herself loving like she’d never loved before.

Ugh poor hurt Nick, he’s willing to do all the grunt work that he abhors in order to free up McGee so he can save Ellie. Nick knows he doesn’t have the skills and I think that’s killing him even more so. He can’t just do it himself, he has to rely on someone else to clear her name (to which he bumped back to last name in a last ditch attempt to maintain distance and keep some semblance of emotions in check, which is failing miserably), and that is killing the doer we know and love. LOL “so you’re both wrong” this poor man I love him, I can’t wait for the tears that will come from me later 🥲 nick immediately taking Jessica’s help, I love it. He’s like I don’t give AF who will help us but I am clearing this woman’s name if it’s the last thing I do. And then she walks in and he’s frozen. All these emotions running through him and then she’s there?? And she ignores him??? Ignores all of them?? Rushes past and storms up to the director on a suicide mission??? Yeah this is why I said that conversation with Gibbs was her last nail in the coffin. She hadn’t decided to go through with it (hence why she hedged earlier with Vance) and then he went and was a piece of shit so she said the hell with it and went all in. She can’t even bring herself to speak at Nick, barely looks at him, because she knows, she knows if she speaks to him, if he gets a chance to try and talk her down in the heightened emotional state she’s in after talking to Gibbs, she won’t be able to hold it in. She won’t be able to deal with seeing emotionally charged and hurt Nick. So she ignores him and McGee and does what she thinks she has to do. How hard did it have to be for Ellie to tell Vance not to defend her, and that their intel was correct? 🥺🥺 it goes against everything she’s ever stood for and she just went and did it. She hates liars and yet she lied. She loves her country and yet she claimed she committed treason. Her body language once again screams uncomfortable but trying to play it off. She’d nodding and repeating it over and over because she needs to convince herself of the words. They leave a bitter taste in her mouth and she can’t stop it. All she can do is clench her jaw a little tighter and get it over with and convince herself.

Nick is in disbelief, obviously. McGee looks like he’s five seconds from breaking down because his little sister is supposedly a traitor??? Like he can’t believe it. He’s hurt she would do something like this even though he still knows in his gut that it can’t possibly be true. And oh FUCK the part where Nick’s voice cracks asking if Vance fired Ellie. Fuuuuuuuck me. This man’s heart is breaking for what’s happening to Ellie and being completely in the dark about it. Sure they weren’t really clear on what “they” were after The Talk but still. He thought she was open with him. Ever since the jail cell, things had shifted and he thought she’d been honest with him. He’d picked up on those little things, but maybe it was just training or something, NOT committing alleged treason and quitting the one career she loved. Not leaving him in the dark and vanishing without so much as a word. Not that. Because she KNOWS his past, she knows how much shit he’s been through with people in his life leaving without so much as a goodbye. And his voice continues to crack asking about what’s going on because he’s literally in shock. McGee is desperately trying to keep it together, keep some sort of figurehead for the team. Nick is in shambles ok, just like I’m in shambles. He’s adamant she didn’t do it because he KNOWS her. He knows she would never in a million years leak classified intel and now he’s just confused like a lost and kicked puppy. She didn’t DO IT, and she’s not answering her PHONE. He just wants to talk to her, he just wants to know she’s ok, wants to comfort her, wants to convince her to stop and it’ll be alright and he’ll take care of her and he’ll save her because that’s all he wants to do and always has, right? Save her. Save her from everything in this world that could hurt her. Protect her from life’s dangers. Protect her because he can’t bear the thought of losing her. And that all is crumbling down around him. All of it, crashing down like an avalanche, ready to bury him alive in grief and guilt and despair and anger. How am I supposed to TALK to her, he just wants to fucking be with her. He just wants to be there. With her. For the rest of their lives.

Ellie looking at the hat, please. That’s a lifetime of regret packed into one facial expression right there. She’s looking at that hat, the one she cherishes from the moment Gibbs hands it to her, and knows it’ll be the last time she ever sees it again. It’s not something she can take with her, and it’s full of fond memories—most happy, some sad, a few bittersweet—but memories that have made her life whole the past 8 years. And there’s officially no going back, she’s admitted to treason, there’s no way out of that. She’s having to say goodbye to all of her career without saying goodbye to any of them, all of that is wrapped up in that hat. A hat that’s so simple but signifies so much to her. She definitely was not expecting McGee to come out and so her rebuttals to him are exasperated and grasping at straws initially. She tries sarcasm and then she tries to brush it off “it doesn’t matter, it’s done […] I get that, I don’t want to talk about it” when McGee voices that he’s hurt over this and her reputation matters to him. Because he’s like another brother to you dammit Ellie. Yeah he’s grown since he said Ziva was like a sister to him and just stomped on your heart, he didn’t say it then but you’re like a sister to him too Ellie. I love that he fights her on it, and Ellie is like shit I have to come up with something. I don’t think she expected McGee of all people to fight her on this and I’m so glad he did. A little bit of growth because he is not going to see another person he views as family leave him again. And Ellie’s half assed excuses please, all of it is just such BULLSHIT because when they first debriefed she was just like “ethical? Hmmm” nothing more, nothing about being a vigilante and being up in arms over this like she claims she was. Bullshit Ellie, bullshit. And the PARALLELS TO FUCKING GIBBS. THIS IS WHAT YOU DID GIBBS, THIS IS YOU. LOOK WHERE YOU FUCKING PUSHED ELEANOR BISHOP TO STOOP TO. McGee begging her to regret it and Ellie pulls a Gibbs and is like NOPE. WONDER WHERE THE FUCK SHE LEARNED THAT FROM HUH. Gibbs you are singlehandedly responsible for this shit and how Ellie broke Nick’s heart and whatever happens to her on this stupid mission. I’m glad your dumb boat blew up, you deserve it.

“I don’t want protection” because I can’t have you all following me.

“It kills me that I lied to the people I was closest to” not about what you think I’m lying about but what I’ve been hiding. It kills me that I can’t tell you the real reason for this. It kills me.

“It wasn’t years ago for us” McGee rip my heart out please it will hurt less. And Ellie just playing into all of it. Knowing that she needs him and everyone else to hate her and not trust her. Her entire livelihood and backstory rely on them hating her and not following her, believing she’s the enemy and she’s hid these kinds of secrets for so long. Believing she’s a criminal and it was all a farce. She has to play into it. She has to. It’s the only way she will survive, they’ll survive. Odette likely fed her this shit, cut all ties, make sure no one follows, make sure no one is attached, burn all bridges.

Ah and we’re back to pissed Nick. Nick who doesn’t like to be left in the dark ever, let alone when it deals with Bishop. Getting his edgy self being rude to Kasie but Kasie doesn’t even bat an eyelash. She knows Nick is hurting and she reaches out to him, she doesn’t take his tone to heart because she knows. Nick saying he wouldn’t know how she’s doing is just like a knife to the heart. He wants to know, desperately. He once thought he was the person she would go to in times like these but now all he’s getting is radio silence, a cold shoulder, and screened phone calls. He’s in visceral pain from the thought of her going through this alone, pain from everything he once thought true and good being destroyed in a day’s time. And Kasie is shocked that Nick hasn’t spoken to her. If that doesn’t tell you she knows that they are a thing and the gravity of all this, I don’t know what will. Nick should have spoken to her, clearly he wants to, in every other situation he would have already. But Kasie (and Jessica) just realized Ellie is shutting Nick out and that is Not Good.

Back to Gibbs. Fucking asshole he is. McGee comes to you desperate to help his sister, Gibbs’ “daughter” and he goes “I think she’s at a crossroads” ???? Acting like he didn’t fucking encourage her at this so-called crossroads???? Like ???? The fuck???? Her crossroads was painfully obvious when she came to talk to you and YOU basically treated her like you couldn’t care less about her. That you had no clue what she was dealing with in her life and said as much. So yeah, she WAS at a fucking crossroads until you SHOVED her into oncoming traffic and said have a nice fucking life. AND THEN. McGee wants to help her and Gibbs tells him he can’t??? “Not this time” bitch this is YOUR FAULT. YOU COULD HAVE HELPED HER. COULD HAVE TALKED TO HER AT LEAST SOMEWHAT AND YOU DIDN’T. YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T REALIZE SHE WAS SPIRALING AND THAT YOU DIDN’T REGRET LEAVING YOUR SO-CALLED FOUND FAMILY IN THE DUST AND GUESS WHAT. SHE WENT AND PARROTED YOUR WORDS RIGHT BACK AT MCGEE SO FUCK YOU GIBBS.

Ooooh Nick looks lethal, love that look, hate why he has that look though. Lol Nick getting ready to go murder the dude in interrogation because he set up Ellie and he’s just ignoring the fact that she claims she committed treason because he already knows there is literally no way on earth that she did it. And Vance realizing that Nick needs to stand down like fiiiiiiinally someone realized it. Obviously he isn’t gonna listen and poor Nick, this boy has it bad and he’s truly just SO WORRIED for what Ellie is about to do. Because right there, the confirmation that the file was a plant, that was the final puzzle piece falling into its perfect place. Every single thing he questioned, every little moment he’d replayed in his head, it all made sense. And he was so very pissed she hadn’t come to him- and honestly I think part of him is trying to ignore the WHY that’s behind that because he truly wouldn’t be able to think straight if he went there. I think that would be his end, going into the why she didn’t trust him, why she lied, why it hurts him so much. It would be the end, and yet…we’re just beginning here. And of course he knows exactly who is manipulating Ellie, he hadn’t trusted that scum from the start. So of course he goes straight to Odette’s cabin and lays in wait, probably pouring over all the documents and things Ellie did or didn’t leave behind there.

Ellie pulling up in the truck and that heavy sigh? Yeah, she’s still not convinced this is a good idea. She’s running on emotions but that logical part of her (and deep down, her heart, knowing what she’s about to do- who she’s about to cut out of her life) is whispering of how very bad an idea this is. She still has to gather her willpower to get out of that car but when it’s Gibbs calling her? The same Gibbs that basically just kicked her out the door without so much as a wave goodbye? Yeah, the emotion just came rushing back, pushing the logic aside. She claims she can’t tell Nick because no shit if she has to look him in the face and lie and still say goodbye, it’ll kill her. She’s honestly not sure if she can go through with it.

OH we back to a Gibbs hate novel, hold on. “I’M REALLY PROUD OF YOU BISHOP” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’M REALLY PROUD YOU’RE THROWING EVERYTHING YOU EVER WORKED FOR AWAY, PUSHING THE ONES YOU LOVE THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LIFE, SACRIFICING YOUR ONE SHOT OF LOVE THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE DESERVE THE MOST. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. Oh fuck OFF Gibbs. “Following your gut” oh shut UP. I just don’t understand this part. I don’t understand it, and I’m trying so hard for it to make sense, for it to be in character. Like does Gibbs have any clue?? I’m sure he recognizes the signs, I’m sure he has an inkling at this point. So how would he be proud? How the FUCK would he say he’s learned some stuff from her. Does he mistakenly trust Odette because of what she did for Ziva? Is he just so self-absorbed he doesn’t completely comprehend what Ellie is doing leaving Nick behind??? And Rule 91 is a load of shit. “When you decide to walk away, don’t look back” how FUCKING STUPID. Like Gibbs of all people, you should understand that is a SHIT rule. You’ve lost the people you loved dearly and you think she should just never look back? Like are you saying this so that Ellie has a clear head for the undercover op? Are you hoping she doesn’t get herself killed by being wrapped up in what she left behind??? What the actual fuck. Stupid ass rule honestly. It’s what you live by Gibbs and look how well that turned out for you. Look at the family you ditched. Nice fucking job.

“It’s done” and “what are you talking about I did everything you asked” ok she’s 100% being manipulated and almost blackmailed somehow. There’s no other explanation. Eleanor Raye Bishop wouldn’t do this shit. Not willingly, not if she knew how much Nick loved her and how much she loved him (which if her words in just a minute are any indication, yeah she had a fucking clue). Odette calling Nick a loose end just SCREAMS how she purposefully fucking chose the moment Ellie and Nick started to get close to decide it was time for Ellie to go undercover. I just KNOW it. She’s a manipulative bitch and there is no limit to the rock bottom she will stoop to.

Ellie knows who she’s talking about and the just look of fuck I have to actually tell him to his face. The doubt and grief and guilt and all of it, flashing across her face as she realizes she has to do this. She has to face this, she has to lie. She has to break his trust (not that she hasn’t already) something SHE made so painstakingly clear she needed from Nick. Nick is rightfully *pissed* I mean who can blame him. Ellie with her, “I have nothing to be sorry for.” I know Ellie is just doing her best to burn bridges, the hesitation and avoidance leading up to this lends itself to no other interpretation. She is going to say anything and everything to make sure Nick does not follow her. Make sure he stays as far away as possible from her. She can’t bear the thought of him getting hurt in some way from all this. Even though he may not get physically hurt, I don’t think she realizes the heart break is going to be worse. The painful part is Nick understands, he understands why she wants to do undercover. He had seen that glimmer in her eye when they were Charlie and Luis, he gets it, he’s been there. And he wishes so desperately he could impress every lesson he’s learned on her right then and there but at the same time he knows it won’t change a thing. He just wishes in vain that their love would change her mind, even if logic wouldn’t, their love surely could. I think Ellie starts to realize just how much Nick can see through her and that’s why she owns up to the fact that Odette planted the files, and also why I believe the leak was all an elaborate hack that Ellie didn’t know about.

Then we get to the even more painful part of Nick giving us a glimpse of his raw heart. The why now with a voice crack and Ellie’s hedge at now wasn’t her choice with her own voice cracking, just is so so so telling. She could lie, she could really work at burning this relationship in a blaze of glory but she doesn’t, she owns up to the fact that she didn’t purposefully choose now (aka right when they were starting to figure things out between them), she’s not pulling the strings. Nick coming back with so you had a choice is like the little 5 year old boy whose dad is walking out on him again and it just HURTS. And at the same time Ellie is also the young, insecure agent right now who just wants to prove herself. She wants to be viewed as “ready” and the man whose opinion she bases way too much of her self-worth in didn’t say he was proud of her until she was upending her career to go on some deep cover op where she ditches everyone important in her life.

“How long?” “Too long.” Yeah ok FUCK ME. They both know exactly what they’re talking about without even saying the actual words. Ellie’s voice cracks once again because of the emotion in Nick’s voice and what he’s implying. It pains her to leave him and what they’re becoming behind. It viscerally hurts her, you can see it on her face. She doesn’t want it to be too long, but she knows it will be. She can’t fathom that he’d stay or wait for her, she doesn’t think she even deserves that.

Tbh it’s so hard to put this all into words. To fully convey to you how angry and hurt I am over this shit. Ellie’s being manipulated and hurt that she has to burn this bridge and push Nick as far away from her as possible. She thinks its her only out and what should be expected of her based off her conversation with Gibbs because then she parrots his exact words back at Nick when he begs, literally begs her to say something after she was willing to leave without saying goodbye (which we know is because she didn’t think she was going to be able to look Nick in the eye and still go through with it all), “sometimes there’s nothing left to be said” like fuck you Gibbs for planting that in her head. There’s PLENTY left to be said. Clearly Nick was not pleased you blew him off Ellie, he wants you to say anything that would make this make sense (we all are tbh) and she says you know my *favorite* line, “I didn’t mean for us to happen.” Nick is all of us with his “something else” because WHAT THE FUCK. This is how I know Ellie was going full throttle with her strategy of pushing Nick away. This was the one thing she could say that would hit hardest for Nick. The man who is insecure about anyone truly loving him and him being a person deserving of a love that “stays” and for Ellie to say she didn’t mean to fall in love and even though they did she’s still going to leave because it was never in the plan, just damn, stab him in the back and twist that knife Ellie. And just like her body language this WHOLE TIME 💀💀💀 she’s just shaking her head because she doesn’t even believe her own words, she doesn’t want to confront this, she doesn’t want to end this. There’s tears in her eyes because everything she’s saying is a lie and it hurts it hurts so damn much but she has to. She’s been manipulated into believing she has to do this, has to say these things. And his body language too, I mean he is tight. He is standing so rigid, hands clasped behind his back because he’s trying to convey openness and vulnerability and it’s so much growth for Nick, so much growth and Ellie is still ripping his heart out and stomping on it. And when she chokes out that goodbye you can hear and feel how final she believes it to be. She doesn’t think he’ll stick around or even want to. In this vein I think she underestimates his love for her here. And if the show goes a different way with it, they’re little bitches. It is in character for Nick to do everything in his power and outside of the rules to find & save Ellie. I will riot if I don’t see unhinged Nick some point early in s19 (I say like I’m going to watch religiously), because that is the only logical reaction to her leaving like this.

The kiss. It’s a beautiful fucking kiss and it’s ruined by context. It’s an emotional kiss, Ellie throws her body behind it, gripping his face with both hands because she doesn’t want to let him go (even though she’s going to), she clutches to this memory like she clutches to his face. Nick’s clenched expression because he doesn’t want to open his heart up to more heartbreak but when he leans into the kiss and gives the kiss back you know he’s a goner. And maybe a part of him doesn’t care because this may be his last memory of her for a long time and he’s going to burn it into his memory too. It’s why he keeps his eyes shut after she’s left for so long, he doesn’t want to open them and the reality of her retreating back be the last thing he sees of Ellie. He wants the kiss to be the last thing, he doesn’t want to face his reality. His hands had even come out from behind his back, reaching out to her subconsciously willing her not to leave. Meanwhile, Ellie opens her eyes for that last kiss on the cheek to get one last long look at Nick, one last look that will hold her over for who knows how long. A look at his vulnerable face, a face she loves. A look that she hopes will keep her warm at night even though she knows she’ll never get it this close to her again because there’s no way in hell that Nick would entertain the thought of them together again after what she’s done. She doesn’t look back because she can’t. She can’t see Nick’s wounded face just standing there, broken or she won’t go. And Nick tries to stand resolute, the anger and pain flashing across his face before he grits his teeth together and *hopefully* resolves to find Odette and kill her I mean save Ellie I mean kill Odette 🙊

Anyways, there’s only a very specific way this entire finale makes sense. And I know Emily’s pregnancy threw it for a loop, but they can still SOMEWHAT fix this. Do I think they will? Hell fucking no. I have zero expectations, in fact negative expectations. I have a feeling what we were supposed to see is Nick going on an absolute swan rampage to find Ellie and clear her name throughout the first couple episodes of s19 and with Emily leaving the show, I’m not sure how they’ll twist this. I can see why they thought this was a fun cliffhanger because it would eventually be resolved and I do believe they would’ve eventually gotten ellick together after Nick found her. But unless Emily comes back at the end of the show, that won’t happen, at least not on screen. And with that I just 🥲 I’m still mad, I’m still broken inside but yeah. I’m a masochist before anything else apparently and so I made myself rewatch and write this out. A bittersweet pissed off adieu to the WWR. maybe one day i’ll find another ship & show that gets this level of meta out of me, but it’s been real ellick, it’s been really real ❤️

#ncis #ellick #wwr #anti gibbs #seriously do not read if you like gibbs #this is your warning and if you send me hate anon for my take after i warned you you're asking for it #6k of 3 months of emotions right here on the day of the premiere #truly bittersweet to say goodbye to the wwr in such a shitty way #if there's even people still reading/following along #thank you ❤️

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mggssocks · 4 years ago

Text

Followed- part 2

Not My Gif!

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Content Warnings: regular criminal minds stuff. (please let me know if i missed anything!)

Summary: Spencer makes an Instagram and stumbles across reader’s page.

Word Count: 2.2k +

A/N: Thank you so much for the love i have received on my last chapter!!! It means so much to me. Also i’m going to try to update chapters as much as i can but i’m graduating in a few weeks and i will have a lot going on. But again, thank you guys!!! xoxo

masterlist // part 1

Although he was only going off of a few hours of sleep, Spencer came to work with a pep in his step today. His interaction with this girl was very brief but he still got butterflies with the thought. He was early as usual so he made himself a cup of coffee and sat at his desk, settling in. He pulled out his phone and reread the text messages that the two of you shared. When he finished reading the short message thread, his thumb hovered over the letter G. He wanted to type “good morning” but he didn’t want to come off as too clingy or overbearing. That in fact was the last thing he wanted.

“Hey Spence” he hears from behind him, causing him to jump and quickly lock his phone before shoving it into his coat pocket.

“Hi” he turns around to see JJ and forms his mouth into a straight line.

She eyes him weirdly. Something was up.

“Everything okay?” She asked. Knowing how Spencer was, she wasn’t expecting him to answer truthfully. Especially with him jumping startledly like he just did at a simple ‘hi’.

“No- yeah. Yeah I’m fine. What about you? Are you okay?” He asked to switch the conversation around.

Yeah. Something was definitely up.

“I’m… fine?” She answers confused

He nods awkwardly. She was just about to ask him if he was sure that he was fine but everyone else started to walk in and she knew if he was being this secretive with her, he definitely wouldn’t want everyone else to be in his business. So she drops it… at least for now.

Garcia speed walked into the bullpen with a file or two in her hand, not bothering to say anything to the team. She goes straight to the conference room.

“Looks like we have a case” Morgan declared as he walked past the desks and up the stairs. Everyone else followed.

“And from the looks of it, it’s bad,” says Emily.

They settle in their seats as Garcia passes Spencer his case file while everyone else gets on their tablets.

“We’re going to Wichita, Kansas.” Hotch says as he was the last one to come into the conference room.

“This sicko stabs straight through the heart. They chop off as much hair as they can before shoving it in the victim’s mouths.” Garcia speaks, a little disturbed a little while avoiding her gaze from the screen.

“Four victims within one week. There’s no cooling off period at all” Morgan said, swiping through his tablet.

“Which is why we’re debriefing on the jet. Wheels up.”

——————

After the team debriefed on the jet, Garcia chimed in through the video chat.“Guys, A store owner just found another victim.”

The team looks at one another. Hotch sighs momentarily before speaking.

“Alright, JJ, you and Reid to the M.E. Morgan and Rossi go to the latest crime scene and Prentiss and I will go and set up at the station.”

Everyone nods their head at their temporary partners for confirmation.

————

“So on the first victim, the person hesitated.” The examiner spoke factually.

“-And on the other four he didn’t hesitate at all” spoke JJ, trying to get the bigger picture.

“Exactly. Now with the new victim… I noticed something strange. “ She walked over to the newest victim from earlier that day and the agent and dr followed her.

She turned the woman’s head and revealed a cat-like scratch with three of them synchronized.

JJ and Spencer looked at each other. After they called the other team members to fill them in, they walked to the car in pure silence.

“So… this morning” says JJ, walking to the driver’s side.

Spencer gives her a questioning look as he takes the passenger seat.

“What about this morning?” He asked in a suspicious tone and avoided her gaze by looking out of the window.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Spence, but I know something’s going on. Just tell me that it’s nothing bad.” She put her seatbelt on.

Spencer didn’t dare to give in “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

——————-

After three days, they finally caught the unsub. The man was purely a sick and twisted psychopath. Jeffery Magnum. A 30 year old man who was severely abused as a child. His mother would make him eat the cat’s fur balls for dinner and when he refused, she would shave him bald. His mother died and that was the stressor that made him begin to kill.

As they boarded the plane, Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ sat together in the four seats. Rossi and Hotch sat together in the seats across from each other behind them. Spencer sat on the couch, far away from everyone. He wasn’t trying to distance himself. He just wanted to sit alone.

He pulled his phone out. He hasn’t thought much about that girl since he’s obviously been busy but now he was thinking about her. When he opened the app, he saw that she had posted a story. Before he watched her story, he clicked on her account and scrolled a little. She posted a lot of books and her cat too. Spencer really liked this one in particular.

26 likes

Yourinstagram I looked up from my book and seen this. thought it was a great photo op.

View all 11 comments

He comes across a picture that really catches his attention.

11 likes

Yourinstagram okay just finished these two Jung books. He’s officially my favorite psychology/ prolific author. Freud’s got nothing on this guy.

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Spencer nodded his head approvingly. He swiped back to look at her Instagram story.

He swiped up, thinking of a way to start a conversation. He just wanted to talk. About what? He doesn’t know.

spencerreid what’s tomorrow?

As expected, she didn’t respond right away. Instead of waiting for a response, Spencer picks up a book to occupy his attention. About 15 minutes later, his phone vibrates and an Instagram notification pops up. It catches the attention of JJ and she looks from the corner of her eye.

Spencer let’s 3 minutes pass by before responding because he didn’t want to seem too eager to talk to her. Although he definitely was.

yourinstagram nothing special! I’m a pastry chef so I’m just preparing them for the week!

spencerreid Do you have some sort of bakery?

yourinstagram yup :)

Spencer didn’t know what to text back. So he started a new conversation with her.

spencerreid By the way I was looking at your page and seen that you read Carl Jung books.

yourinstagram you were stalking my page??

He started to panic. He didn’t mean it like a weirdo.

spencerreid I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to see what you were about, I guess.

yourinstagram relax haha I was kidding. And yes I do like Carl Jung books. What about you? Jung or Freud?

spencerreid I’m a fan of both, though I feel as if Jung was more open minded.

yourinstagram you, my friend, have great taste.

Although he knew “my friend” was just a term, Spencer couldn’t help but let a smile spread across his face.

JJ notices and nudges Morgan who was listening to music. Prentiss notices JJ’s act and she gives her a questioning look. JJ nods her head towards Reid who was smiling at his phone. Emily who was sitting next to the window across from Morgan leaned over the seat to get a peek at Spencer.

She looks back to JJ. “What?”

“He’s been acting weird since before we left for this case. Like… secretive.”

Derek quirks an eyebrow. “You think he’s got something going on?”

JJ shrugs.

“Hey” Emily says to Spencer.

He doesn’t necessarily jump but he was obviously startled.

“What are you smiling about?” She asked. JJ and Derek watched as he fumbled over his words.

“I- uh-just- just a joke” Spencer cringed internally, because not even he, himself was buying it.

“What’s the joke?” Derek asked.

“It’s… nothing you would find amusing.”

The three pretended to believe him and gave each other subtle glances before continuing what they were doing. Spencer turned back to his phone.

yourinstagram I’m y/n by the way. Just thought I’d formally introduce myself.

spencerreid I’m Spencer.

yourinstagram It’s nice to meet you, Spencer.

spencerreid It’s nice to meet you as well, Y/N.

After the jet landed, it was only 3:00 in the afternoon. Hotch gave them the rest of the day off so Spencer decided to head home and catch up on some sleep that he’s missed these past few days.

He knew that it’d be terrible traffic on his way home. But since he stupidly decided to drive to work a few days ago, he couldn’t take the subway. He had to drive home. After about 10 minutes of sitting in his car calculating the fastest route home during traffic hours, he decides to take a way that he’s never taken before.

It would take him about thirty minutes but on his normal route during traffic hours, it would take him an hour and twenty.

While driving, he catches a glimpse of a bakery and his stomach automatically growls. He decided that he’d stop by. Spencer walked into the shop and it wasn’t very busy. He looked over all of the options while waiting for someone to come to the counter.

A girl soon trails around dusting her hands off on her yellow apron. Her hair tied back in a ponytail.

“Hi. How can I help you?” She gives a kind smile.

“Uh- can I have two of the Danish pastries And a water?” He asked.

“Of course! Will that be all?” She puts some clear gloves on and makes her way over to the pastries.

“Yes” Spencer answers, digging through his satchel for his wallet.

She puts the treats in an apricot colored box, closed with a sticker with the name of the bakery.

She puts the order in and looks back up at him “That’ll be $5.37!”

He’s finally able to get a feel for his wallet and pulls out his card, handing it to her. She swipes it and hands it back over to him after it was approved along with his box and a reusable water bottle. He murmurs a thank you before leaving and heading to his apartment, enjoying the delicious danishes and finishing up some case files.

*******

“Seriously, Y/n. There’s so many relationship opportunities in Virginia. And you’re thinking about someone from a social media platform. You’ve never even seen them.” Your older sister lectures you as you close up the shop.

“Woah woah woah. I never said anything about a relationship with him. He’s nice but I’m not going to date someone over the internet. For all I know, he could be from England. I just said we both have an understandable love for Carl Jung in common.” You explained.

“Mom is worried about you. You’re thirty and you haven’t even found someone you’re interested in.” She lifts her eyebrow.

“She doesn’t need to worry about me. And every single woman doesn’t need to get married and settle down in their thirties.” you argue back

“She wants grandchildren, y/n. And not just from one of her kids.”

“Look. I’m fine. You guys need to stop with the pressuring. I’m happy and I have all that I can ask for right now. When that time comes then it comes but for right now, i’m content” You shrug as you lock up all of the treats in the display cases.

She gives up the argument. And there is a weight of silence that fell between the two of you.

“Alright. Dave and the kids are expecting me so I'm going to get some pizza and head home.” she says, breaking the silence.

“Okay. Love you. Be safe. Bye” you say to her.

After locking up the shop, you head home and when you open your door, you are greeted by your cat, Luna. After locking the door, you kneel down to properly greet your baby.

“Hey, girl” you pick her up and make your way to the kitchen, opening the fridge to see what options you had to eat for dinner.

You decided on some grilled cheese and tomato soup so that’s what you made.

*****

You throw the crust down on your plate, flipping the page of the book you were almost done with. You were curled up on the side of the couch with Luna sleeping by your feet. After finishing the last page, you were bored enough to go onto twitter and then instagram.

As you make your way to his dm, you bite your lip, hesitant to say something. You didn’t often speak to people through social media. But he’s already texted first so the least you can do is text something first this time. You were uncertain, but you did it anyway.

yourinstagram hey

You mentally smack yourself as you look at the time. He’s probably already slee-

spencerreid Hi.

yourinstagram i was thinking….

spencerreid About?

yourinstagram I told you what i do for a living. I figured it’s only right that you told me what you do..

spencerreid I’m in the FBI. I’m a profiler.

yourinstagram that’s pretty impressive.

You didn’t know it but Spencer was blushing.

spencerreid Thank you.

yourinstagram you’re based in D.C right?

spencerreid That would be correct.

yourinstagram That’s funny.

spencereid Why is it funny?

yourinstagram because I live in D.C too.

#spencer reid #dr reid #matthew gray gubler #mgg #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #matt simmons #david rossi #cm #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #penelope gracia #luke alvez #elle greenaway #tara lewis

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perriewinklenerdie · 4 years ago

Text

Respect (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Claire Herondale

Word count: 1,3 k

Summary: Harper finds out about their patient being a part of the study and talks to Claire about it.

Warnings: None

A/N: They’re all adults, and as such, they can talk about things without doing stupid things recklessly. Bullshit and double standards? Not on my watch, PB.

„Claire, wait up!” Harper’s voice reached her ears just as she was about to enter the office. As the older doctor caught up to her, an alarm appeared in her head – something about Harper’s conflicted eyes made her feel on edge. And for the right reason.

They walked into the office, which by itself shouldn’t have been suspicious, but when her companion checked, twice, that they were alone, she knew something was wrong. She just didn’t know how much.

“Did you know that our Kennedy patient is now a part of the study our research department is currently conducting?”

Claire felt as though the Earth just randomly stopped spinning for a second. And immediately after, just like the laws of physics said, she felt as though she got hurled off the face of the earth at the speed of thousands of meters per second.

What the hell was she supposed to do now?

“What?” she stumbled in her response, trying to buy herself some time to think. Her head was empty and full at the same time, the alarm now blaring, distracting her from any logical thoughts.

“I heard two researchers talk about him when I was leaving the OR. They said he was in the drug group.” Harper explained, her hands making curt movements as she talked. “Someone broke the protocol to ensure our patient got a place in it.”

“I- what are you talking about?” Claire’s own hands started shaking slightly as she panicked in her head. Time was running out; Harper needed an answer, and she was conflicted.

She knew it was Ethan who risked it all to get their patient into the study. And she understood that he wanted to help him. That being said, there was at least one more way to ensure their patient would have a chance to be a part of the research. Ethan didn’t think this through, and now he was stuck in a situation without a clear end. And they were all threatened by that mess right along with him.

“Do you know anything about it?”

“Why are you asking me?”

Harper didn’t hesitate to answer, sensing where the question was coming from. “Please, don’t get me wrong. I respect you as a doctor and as a woman – I’d never jump to baseless conclusions. You were simply the first person from the team I stumbled upon.”

“Oh. Thank you.” the blonde nodded slowly, smiling at her friend gently. But then she remembered what the situation was, and the blank panic came onto her face again. She didn’t manage to cover it up fast enough, and with Harper watching her closely, waiting for an answer, it was no wonder that she figured out something was wrong.

It was then that the time has ran out.

“You know something.” Harper’s eyes widened in realization, her theory further confirmed when Claire tried to say something, but couldn’t mutter a sound. “Claire, if you know who did it, now would be the time to tell me.”

Silence was making the air they breathed thick and suffocating. The younger woman opened her mouth to speak, but she still wasn’t sure what to do. Should she tell her about Ethan, or should she direct the focus away from the team entirely?

Whatever force she was asking for help must have heard her and granted her a wish, because at that exact moment, the door opened and Ethan walked in. His calm expression got wiped the second he took in the way Claire’s entire body was frozen in place, and he immediately knew what the two women were talking about.

Harper looked at the couple, confused when she saw the silent conversation pass between them. It became apparent to her very quickly that she was talking to the wrong person about the matter at hand, but she found that hard to believe. It just didn’t make sense, that Ethan would be that reckless.

The only thing that made perfect sense was the urgency in Claire’s behavior up until that point – she clearly didn’t know what to say to not make the matter worse. By the way she breathed out deeply, Harper could tell with some certainty that the younger woman was relieved to not have to lie – or tell the hard truth.

“How did you find out?” Ethan asked after ensuring the three of them were still alone. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply.

“I overheard two researchers talking. Don’t worry, though, if I didn’t know our patient, I wouldn’t have even batted an eye.”

“You’re… strangely calm about this.” he pointed out, carefully treading the unknown ground. Both women turned to look at each other, then back at him.

“I’m waiting for all the information I can get before making up my mind about any of this.”

All three of them took a seat by the table, getting ready for a difficult conversation. Ethan hesitated before reaching for Claire’s hand. She squeezed his fingers lightly, letting him hold onto her.

By the time Ethan finished pleading his case, Harper wasn’t sitting anymore, instead choosing to walk around the room. Her brain worked through the information she got, over and over again. She was very much driven by her strong sense of right and wrong and rarely did she stray from rules. This, however, wasn’t as clear of a situation as one might have thought it initially was. And there was no doubt in her mind about what needed to be done.

“You can’t tell anyone. Both of you should just forget this ever happened.” She started with a heavy breath, leaning on her elbows against the back of her chair. “Try not to keep too close of an attention to the patient’s progress and maybe, just maybe, this will all blow over.”

The pair watched her with surprise spelled out on their faces. Ethan shook out of it first.

“You’re not going to report that?”

“No. I’m not saying I agree with what you did. Had I known what you were planning, I would have stopped you.” She looked over to Claire just in time to see her nodding in agreement. “But I do agree that this has the potential to help our patient. He has nothing to lose, and if it helps him, it will be beneficial for both sides.”

“That being said.” His girlfriend turned towards him, her gaze stern. “I’d appreciate if you considered other ways to get things like these done in the future. And maybe consider yourself in the situation too.”

The corners of Ethan’s lips inched upwards at her words. “You sound like me.”

“It’s what you told me in my first year. Might be a good idea to follow your own advice.”

This felt like a moment in which Harper could leave the two alone. She moved towards the door, with full intention of going to see how her post-op patient was doing, when an afterthought appeared in her mind.

“One more thing.” Even though she was slightly smiling just seconds ago, she was deadly serious now. “This better be the last time we have this conversation. Between the two of you, you might have ran out of luck and it would be in our collective best interest if you’d stop trying to test it, okay?”

“Understood.” Ethan answered and Claire just simply saluted her, along with a grateful smile that was the last thing Harper saw before leaving the room.

Notes

I don’t know what the writers are thinking, but I’d advise having some non-bs juice.

Smut rewrite coming soon.

Thank you for reading! <3

Tagging separately

#ethan ramsey #open heart #playchoices

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yoonsshadow · 4 years ago

Text

ETERNAL - iv

➳ summary ; They have died so often that death has lost its meaning; hurt so regularly that pain has become inconsequential; lost so much that they hold each other to the light of the stars. They have nothing yet they have everything, as long as they have each other. And, after centuries, they now have her.

➳ pairing ; bts!ot7 x fem!reader

➳ genres ; The Old Guard au; fantasy, historical, action, romance, alternate universe

➳ themes ; angst, fluff, death

➳ warnings ; talk of death, ptsd/flashbacks, war zone, heavy violence, course language, panic attack

➳ word count ; 2k

➳ note ; Hello! I know that this chapter took a little longer to get out, and it is a little shorter than usual, but it’s because it takes a lot of time and research to make sure that I’m doing this story justice. That being said, I hope that you enjoy!! The journey for these eight have truly begun now, and boy, do they have a lot coming. :3

masterlist

For a while now, your life has been slipping between your fingers. Like a shadow passing through the night, every moment has melted through you, pooling at your feet until you’re slipping, falling, thrown to the ground. From the moment the first bullet was delivered through your skull, you have lost grip of your control; of the things you hold dearest to you.

Sitting here, surrounded by these seven men, that empty cavern in your chest aches just a little less. It hasn’t started to fill up yet⎯⎯might not for a very long while⎯⎯but the silence no longer echoes.

“It still feels weird to think about,” you say, soft voice carrying through the room with ease. They are all listening so carefully that you cannot meet any of their eyes. “That I died, I mean. I’ve had time to rationalise it, but my whole life has been spent thinking one way⎯⎯believing in life and death, mortality, the fragility and preciousness of living⎯⎯but now I’ve been killed multiple times, died naturally a handful more, and so it feels as though the whole world has been skewed and I’m yet to find my balance.”

Your fingers fiddle together in your lap, eyes downcast to the empty soup bowl on the coffee table.

“The story of how I died the first time is kind of a long one. I can’t tell you about the final moments without explaining everything that led up to it, but there are a few years of history to go through. So, if you want me to condense it…”

“We have all the time in the world,” Namjoon assures, and it could be a joke, a satirical remark regarding your current situations, but instead he speaks with the utmost care, as if he is afraid of any wrong word, any misstep. He is telling you that they are patient, that they don’t mind waiting, that they will listen to every word you say. For you.

And it warms that hole in your chest enough for you to meet his eyes⎯⎯all of their eyes⎯⎯and offer a small smile. Then you nod to yourself. This is a story you need to tell, no matter how painful the memories are.

“Two-and-a-half years ago,” you begin, “the Special Warfare Command uncovered the elaborate smuggling operation of North Korean forces. Untraceable men⎯⎯assumed Black-Ops⎯⎯would enter South Korea through other countries using fake documentation. It’s unclear how long they stayed, months or years, but they would eventually kidnap vulnerable children and smuggle them to North Korea via Mongolia and China.

“Unfortunately, it took years to trace the movements of these men to a point where we knew what they were doing and how they were doing it. The SWC eventually concluded that North Korea were kidnapping and training future sleeper agents and spies, and avoiding suspicion by hiding in the Gobi Desert. They had an entire base of operations on a grey-zone of the border between Mongolia and China, and managed to leave no traces of their movements.”

You need to take a deep gulp of air at this point. Up until now, you have merely stated facts; regurgitated information as you have been told. However, you know that everything from this point on will become personal. You try to think back on your years of conditioning in the army.

“It was at this point that my team was requested for the operation. The 707th Special Mission Group has hundreds of personnel, all within two assault companies, one support company, and one all-female company. There are many missions in which female operators are a better fit, this one included, and out of the female company, my team was chosen.

“When I was promoted to Captain, and at such a young age... All I felt was excitement. Excitement for such an honour, for the experiences ahead, for being able to lead my very own team. The women on my team worked so well, too. We had many successful missions, small and big, and we were ready for this operation. We were ready for Operation Fawn.”

The air in your lungs stutters as you exhale, and you try to swallow the lump in your throat. You’ve avoided thoughts of the thirteen women who had become your friends, your family, but now you are submerged in the memories. Both joyous and tragic.

A few of the men around you look as if they want to move forward, to comfort you, but they also know that it isn’t their place to do so. Not yet.

“The plan was relatively straight-forward. We had found the location of the children, and so it was our job to silently infiltrate the site. Remove all hostiles, retrieve the missing kids, bring them back safely. It wasn’t unlike other missions we had completed before, so we were confident that we could execute it without fail.”

Pulse pumping loudly in your ears, heart beating violently in your chest, you begin to see flashes of that night, playing before your eyes without your permission.

“Get down!” A bullet whirs through the air where your lieutenant’s head had just been, close enough to be able to hear it cutting through the air. “Shit,” you mumble to yourself, peeking around the corner of the collapsed wall for the rest of your team, “how the fuck are there so many of them?”

“Captain.” A voice cuts through the chaos, the intercom in your ear crackling to life. “They’re still pouring in - West entrance - all armed. There shouldn’t be this many men.”

You land shots on three oncoming men, their bodies falling to the ground, but they are quickly replaced by more on their way. You have to do something; you can’t allow your team⎯⎯or the children⎯⎯to die tonight.

While your lieutenant watches your back, you fiddle with the dial of your radio, changing to a different channel.

“Command, this is Dragon, do you copy?”

No response comes through, and you’re forced to move from the wall with your gun poised, firing shots at any unfamiliar figure you see.

“Command, this is Dragon, do you copy?!”

A grenade explodes a short distance away, shaking the ground and sending you stumbling.

“Command, this is Dragon, Operation Fawn has been compromised! I repeat, Operation Fawn has been compromised! Delta Team needs immediate backup, over a hundred hostiles, and counting!”

Either the commotion around you drowns out the voice in your ear, or you’ve yet again received no response. You are starting to get desperate.

“Jesus fuc⎯ we’re completely overwhelmed, Command! My team can only hold out for a little while longer, but these fuckers just keep pouring in! Something is wrong, there shouldn’t be this many of them, we can’t fucking⎯”

Somebody tackles you to the ground. Gunshots, shouts, dirt in your face, a hand on your throat. The man on top of you is heavy, but you’re able to roll him off of you and shoot him between the eyes.

The blood splatters across your goggles.

It’s all too much. There are men everywhere, and you can’t see any of your team members throughout the chaos. You can’t get through to your command centre. Everything that was supposed to be easy tonight has gone wrong. Something heavy, and dark⎯⎯something that feels a lot like doom and panic and we’re going to die⎯⎯lurks in your guts, but you can’t think about that right now. You have to find your girls, have to save these children, have to stay alive⎯

Your fist aches nearly as much as your thudding chest.

Images of death and violence fade away as you blink violently, flexing your fingers individually and then all together, mind still scrambled, still alert.

There are hands on your shoulders, solid and heavy and grounding, and a pair of soft eyes searching for yours. All eyes in the room are on you, but all you can focus on is Yoongi, who looks as if he knows, as if he understands.

And there is a fist-sized patch of red on his left cheekbone. God, your fist, his face, what have you done, oh god I’ve hurt him⎯

Cool air blows on the silent tears that stream down your cheeks, your bones trembling with adrenaline and fear and sorrow. He’s saying something, lips moving slowly, but the clouds in your head are muffling everything. His hands move to hold yours.

You recognise the movement of his lips as the words breathe, it’s okay, and you try your best to obey, but your throat has closed up, tight like the grip of that enemy soldier who had held you to the ground⎯

Yoongi brings one of your hands to his chest, pressing your fingers into him, and you faintly feel the thudding of a heartbeat against your palm. Then, he breathes in, slow and deep, and you follow.

In and out, one by one, Yoongi slowly guides you to breathe steadily once again, your chest growing less tight with each shaky gasp. The tears have stopped flowing, and your limbs have calmed into only a slight tremor, and the darkness in his eyes are captivating. You want to lean forward, let them swallow you whole, but you instead squeeze his hands in silent thanks.

“Let’s get you to bed,” he whispers, and you realise that your head has calmed down enough to take in your surroundings. All seven are watching you with a careful and guarded eye, but you find no pity. It brings you a sliver of relief.

Rather than replying, you merely nod your head and allow Yoongi to pull you up onto shaky legs. Exhaustion is already weighing you down, and all you want to do is escape your own mind.

They have been once before. You, asleep in the spare room, and them, huddled together on the lounges. They are worried about you, but they are also much more; the fear in your voice, the heartache in each memory, was familiar to them. As they watched you relive your trauma, they relived theirs as well.

“I’m sorry, I-” Namjoon’s words stutter out, unsure, unplanned, unlike the way he usually speaks. “This is my fault. I should’ve known- it was too early to- and maybe you wouldn’t have gotten hurt...”

“Hey, no.” Seokjin’s hands on Namjoon’s shoulders are as firm as his words, kind eyes seeking regretful ones. “Don’t blame yourself; this is nobody’s fault. She made her decision to tell us. Don’t take that away from her. And we all know that she couldn’t help that reflex. Yoongi’s been hit harder.”

“We didn’t even hear the rest of the story,” Jimin pouts, nibbling his lower lip between his teeth. “Like, how she died, how her team died, what happened to the mission.”

“We’ll have to be patient,” Yoongi sighs. His cheek is already blue and purple, and will probably be fully healed in an hour. “We know the fundamentals, anyway. A mission that was supposed to be clear-cut somehow got turned on its head. It cost her team’s lives.”

“How does something like that even happen?” Next to Jimin, Taehyung’s pout is not quite as full, but still full of the emotions he is trying to keep in. “It isn’t just her team that got hit, but the entire Special Warfare Command. This was a big operation, guys, so something like this should’ve been prevented.”

“Do you think…” Jeongguk is clutching a pillow close to his chest. “Do you think somebody from the inside betrayed them?” Six faces turn to look at him, shocked at the implication, shocked that it makes sense. “I mean, the information about the operation would have been top secret. North Korea has resources, sure, but they shouldn’t have known the when, where, and how of the mission. Somebody had to have turned.”

“Who would’ve done it?” Jimin’s question is not asking for an answer. He feels sick at the thought.

It is at this moment that Hoseok chooses to emerge from his deep silence. When he speaks, his voice is regretful. Knowing. “I think she knows exactly who did it.”

< prev - next >

tags: @leafyturtle, @loveyoongles, @paint-music-with-me, @barbikatherine, @itsmorgo1604, @calling-dips-on-j-hope, @veronawrites, @applepie1000, @yoonchrisgullwrites, @ally22042000, @ireallylikefoodandyoutube, @blglmgk01, @basicgukk, @softescapism, @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered, @m1nt-3lla, @hunnayesblog, @rosycheekb, @hemmofluke, @the-bisaster

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dianapana · 4 years ago

Text

SH Day 12- ANBU Black Ops

@sasuhinamonth

たえる Part 2 (taeru=to endure)

Part 1

Rated M, Ninja Universe that underwent some changes (you’ll see that I use major events in the canon world but there is a lot of history that’s altered), OOC (major OOC for Hinata especially)

Warning: self-harm, mental health, sexual harassment, trauma

Hello, dears, I play quite a bit with chronology in this chapter, I hope it's all easy to understand. I made moth things be during summer so around the time of the girl SH month which is why in all the cases you'll see Sasuke is 1year older than Hina, since his bday is in July and hers in December. I hope you enjoy, ~Love Dia

Sasuke, age 23

I think it’s fair for me to say that I’ve been through a lot, not many things shake me anymore and all the things that have made me worried in the past years have had something in common, they were all somehow related to Hinata. I remember when I woke up after the war, I was chained to a hospital bed, placed under a jutsu that blocked my chakra, I was missing a limb and I was on the verge of insanity once more. The only thing that calmed me down was her image. Even without my chakra I searched for hers. She too was in the hospital; I found her signature light purple chakra but it was so faint and small I almost missed it. Seeing her like that made me crazy with worry, once everyone left my room, I broke all the chains and dragged myself to her room despite the pain. I hadn’t thought of her as fragile since our reunion when she was 15. I could barely stand to see her that way, and even if I wanted to stay and watch over her for longer, I could feel Naruto’s chakra getting closer, which meant I had to leave. For the following weeks I could only go and see her late at night, for there was always someone in her room, Naruto, her father, her sister, some sort of nurse or medic. I recovered under a month, yet I stayed until she woke up.

I was the only one in the room when her eyes opened, she looked confused and for a moment I was sure she had amnesia and would not remember me, us. But for the briefest moment her eyes rested upon my figure and recognition was there, relief was there, gratitude, affection and many other nuances that I can never seem to read or fully comprehend reflected in her eyes. I took her hand and kissed the back of it, allowing myself a small selfish gesture before leaving the room to inform the medics she woke up. Sakura gave me a strange, questioning look when I told her Hinata had woken up, but I didn’t care about subtlety at that second, I just wanted them to check her for any issues, I wanted her to be physically fine.

She didn’t have many memories of the war when she was first questioned, but they came back in waves and waves. I could tell that the questions overwhelmed her, much like the people that littered around, there were over 10 visitors in her tiny hospital room, from her father to Naruto, Kiba and many others. I just watched the whole situation from outside her window. I noticed her looking around, searching for someone that wasn’t there. No, it wasn’t me, she knew I wouldn’t be there when other people were, I knew exactly who she was searching for, that’s why I wanted to be close by. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, I knew things would take a turn for the worse soon enough. I saw it, the exact moment the fog raised off of her memories, the moment in which reality hit her, the moment in which the remaining light in her eyes died.

She asked for Neji, Naruto cringed, her father was the one to inform her of his passing. She asked when the funeral was going to be and silence fell onto the room. Sakura tried to slowly explain that the war ended two months ago and all the dead were already long buried. Hinata cried, she cried for her fallen cousin, she cried for missing his funeral, she cried for herself. They all gave her hugs and condolences, they reassured her that none of that was her fault. They all expected her to mourn and soon enough bounce back to the façade she always kept around the people in the village. They were unaware of the emotional depth her sadness could reach. I knew their expectations would never be met, I could tell that the headspace she was in was similar to the night I found her on the forest floor, she had the same look in her eyes as when she constantly begged me to let her die. Knowing all of that, I expected her to make certain choices, yet, despite knowing what was to come, I was unable to help, there wasn’t a single moment in which she was alone for a week to come. And when it all happened, I panicked at the notion of her death and responded wrongly to her actions.

I wasn’t watching her when she attempted to kill herself, I was with Tsunade who kept insisting that I accept their fake arm. I was in the midst of refusing once more, when I could feel a commotion in her room, I left without a word and ran there. The image that was in front of me wasn’t surprising but it was just as heart-breaking. Hinata’s bed was covered in blood, her left wrist was being treated by Sakura but you could still see the long and slim-cut along her wrist, Naruto was holding her other arm trying to put pressure on her wrist to stop the bleeding. It scared me, the amount of blood on herself and the bed, her light-headedness and indifference indicated that she had been bleeding for a long time. She waited for a moment in which I wasn’t there either, she wanted to escape me too. Had Naruto and Sakura been late they might have found her corpse instead. I left the room to calm myself down, I couldn’t cause a commotion. I tried my best to come up with kind and comforting words to tell her later when I would return to her room, but when I did, the image that greeted me, her arms strapped to the bed, made me lose my composure. I screamed at her, I can’t even recall what I said but I know it was very inappropriate, she laughed, she cried. Trying to comfort her with only one arm was difficult, that was the very first moment when I even considered accepting Tsunade’s offer, but in the end I didn’t. I spent every night that followed with her, after the initial shock I was able to recall the words I meant to give her, I knew they weren’t going to miraculously fix everything but I felt that she needed them nonetheless.

She apologized for considering that path and acting on her thoughts. I undid her chains and pulled her to my lap as she talked. “The moment my eyes moved past Naruto’s shoulders and I saw you in the door frame I regretted my choice, I wished I could undo it if only to never have to see that look on your face” I placed my face into her hair and just breathed her in. “I think I understand a little better now…what you felt when Itachi died, when you found out the truth. Our situations aren’t the same but I remember how…” she stopped, searching for the perfect word.

“Crazy? Unhinged? Mad?” I provided, but she frowned and shook her head.

“No, no, none of those…how anguished, sorrowful, wretched you were at the time. You come to me in a very agitated state, I was scared and concerned but couldn’t grasp that feeling. Now I do” If I’m honest I don’t remember how felt at the time, I don’t remember many things about that period of my life, all I know is that I wanted to give up, I thought I had made only wrong choices in my life, but I saw her and I remembered that even I could save someone.

After a few more nights she assured me that she was now mentally stable, her sadness was still very much present, but she had not had any self-harming thoughts. The decision to leave the village was very difficult at the time, but Hinata assured me that she enjoyed our routine and wished to continue it. I left but our correspondence was much more frequent than before the war, I would write her every other day and she’d reply as soon as my messages reached her. It took a bit over 3 months for her to resume her work as an ANBU, and a bit over 8 months in total to convince Kakashi to promote her to ANBU Black Ops. Her missions became more difficult and longer, she even had a mission in Amegakure that lasted half a year. When she first sent me the message informing me of the location of her mission it reminded me of our first encounter after I left the village. Our encounter that summer isn’t a memory I think of fondly, I was cruel, I was insane, I abused my knowledge of her trauma. Whenever I remember my actions, I want to go back and rewind the time, I want to apologize to 15-year-old Hinata, she was meek and fragile and I broke a part of her. She was doing her best to survive and to keep going and I was a huge obstacle in her recovery. When my feelings for her started changing I was always self-conscious whether they were genuine or not, wasn’t I using her? Wasn’t I just feeling guilty?

Hinata, age 15

I am nervous as I pack my bag for this mission, it is my first solo mission ever. 6 months after I became a Jonin and Tsunade finally trusts me enough to allow me to go alone in a mission. The destination is Amegakure and the mission is supposed to last for about to 3 weeks. The difficulty level of the mission is only B which I’d be pretty annoyed at, but the distance factor and the solo factor make up for it so, I am equally nervous and excited. When I told Neji about the mission he was concerned but didn’t show it much for my sake. Instead, he congratulated me and we had a small picnic in the outer skirt of the Hyuuga estate as celebration.

Now I am looking through my dresser for appropriate clothes for the rain to pack, I have to look for another set of kunais just in case and prepare myself a couple of bentos to have on hand. Slowly, the closer the night before my departure gets the less anxious I am, excitement seems to be the winning sentiment.

The morning of, I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and am unable to sleep longer. By the time I am fully dressed and ready to go it’s only 5:00 a.m. and the sun is barely raising, but I decide that it is light enough outside for me to leave. As always whenever I pass through the forest there’s a chill going through my veins and my enthusiasm is a bit dampened, I actively try and avoid that specific place even if it means it will add to the journey time. On the schedule, Tsunade gave me I’m meant to spend 8 days on the road to the village, approximately 4 or 5 days into the village and 8 more days back.

The mission itself isn’t supposed to be that difficult all I need to do is meet with different people in the village give them the scrolls Tsunade gave me and wait for their replies. All in all, there should be no fighting, I’m mostly a messenger but the large amount of people that need contacting made it impossible for a summon raven to deliver the scrolls. My adrenaline rush of being on my own, experiencing what freedom feels like made me speed up during the journey, I took less stops and didn’t even spend the night in one of the Inns I was supposed to. Thus, not only did I depart earlier than planned but I arrived into the village almost a day and a half ahead of the schedule. Since it’s still barely past noon I decide to start the mission a day early and I am able to cover a fifth of the task on the first day.

People usually when talking about Amegakure call it gloomy and depressing, but I enjoy walking around in the rain, the temperature isn’t too high despite it being the middle of a heatwave everywhere else, the smell and sounds of rain also add to its charm. The Inn I’m supposed to stay at for the duration of my mission is on the outside of the village, it is away from the noise of the centre, but not far out enough to say it isn’t part of the village at all. Walking into my room I sit down and finally grasp that I am days away from Konoha, I am alone. The realization makes me emotional; I hadn’t realized how much I needed to be on my own, how good it would feel to put distance between me and everything that Konoha entailed.

Sitting alone in the dark, only with the occasional lightning brightening up my room, I make a decision, I promise myself to only ever come on solo missions. I’ve endured years of discomfort so I deserved to feel this way, if only during missions. I take a shower and go to bed, I’m not as physically tired as I thought I would be after the journey and that worries me. I don’t want the nightmare to come and ruin my mood, but I close my eyes nonetheless.

It feels like barely a second passed when I open my eyes and see the cool light coming from outside. The sun is hidden behind the clouds of rain, but its light still pushes through to an extent. I had no dreams, no nightmares. I rested well and I feel better than I did in many years. I walk barefoot onto the cold wooden floor and I open the window, not caring that the rain is getting both me and the floor wet. I close my eyes and feel immensely liberated, the heavy chains that dragged me down at all times disappeared. Nobody here knows me and I don’t know them, I am but a face in the crowd, this anonymity offers me the independence I never knew before.

I complete the mission in under 3 days. I feel faster, stronger, happier here. It feels like I can do anything and everything. I have about 3 days I can waste in the village, under normal circumstances I’d return immediately to Konoha to get another mission and the cycle would repeat. But I decide to stay here for a while longer, I want to enjoy this feeling to the best of my ability. The day right after completing the mission I simply stay inside and sleep almost the whole day. I’m recharging my batteries which have been on low for 3 years now. I forgot what being well-rested felt like.

The following day I decide to wander around some more. The mission had me walk all over the village’s centre so, I decide to check out its outskirt more. I go and eat delicious food at a small booth owned by an older couple. Due to its relatively small scale Amegakure’s buildings are much much higher than those from Konoha so I climb on top of one that I deem to be among the highest and sit there, in the rain just watching the busy streets, looking over all the sky-high buildings and enjoying the feeling of being unrestrained by people’s gazes and expectations. For the smallest second, I feel someone’s gaze on me but I discard it as being the locals looking at the strange outsider that’s standing in the rain. I refuse to let my mood be dampened, not when I am just as high as this building is.

I return to the Inn and decide to take a shower, tomorrow is going to be my last day here and I feel like time is moving far too fast. I’m rinsing my hair when I get the same feeling as before, like someone is watching me. Before I can dismiss it again, I hear steps behind me, my mind goes blank. I’m suddenly turned around by a powerful hand, before closing my eyes I see a pair of black dead, unfeeling, cold, cruel, scary, scary, scary, scary eyes. I close my eyes and clench my jaw; I can feel tears trailing down my face. I’m hyperventilating, I can’t move, I’m weak, I’m small. I whimper when I feel his hand touching the scar right above my pelvis. The touch transports me back to when I’m 12 and on the ground, my legs no longer support me, the only reason why I’m still standing is because the man is holding my arm in an iron grip. The moment passes and his hand is gone allowing me to fall to my knees and then onto my butt. I have no idea how long I stay there in a trance. When I’m finally able to regain strength in my limbs to feel and make small movements I notice the shower water is freezing cold despite it being set to warm. I turn it off and walk into the room, there’s no trace of the man anymore, he didn’t do anything beyond touching my arm and my scar. Maybe he was simply created by my brain, yea no one was here, how could they be, why would they be.

I can feel myself slipping into hysteria as laughter bubbles up into my throat. I look around the room again searching for proof again and I sigh in relief when I find none. I’m finally calm enough to get dressed but I make the mistake of looking in the mirror. There’s a handprint on my arm where he gripped me. The print is red and turning a weird purple colour in places and yellow in others. He was here. He was real. I take small breaths in order to calm myself, I am fine, I am here, I can’t even picture the face of the man that was here, I try to force myself to forget the handprint, it was just a dream, another nightmare.

I pack my things and leave that very night despite being tired physically, mentally and emotionally. I don’t want to return to Konoha, and I can’t stay here, I don’t know where to go. The freedom I felt before gave me an amazing sense of accomplishment, but now it is a source of unease. I feel lost and like I do not belong anywhere. I feel insignificant. I feel lonely. I close my eyes and just sit on the floor outside of the village, waiting for something or someone to come get me. But nothing happens and the weather is turning cold despite the summer so I pick myself up and start walking wherever the road will take me.

I don’t remember the journey back home, I can’t even tell in how many days I completed it, I didn’t stop at all, I just ran. I ran from the man, the past, I ran from my weak self. I thought myself to be strong now that I am a Jonin, but I froze and was unable to do anything all the same. I need to be more than I am, I need to be stronger, braver, untouchable, more perceptive.

I hate myself for hesitating to enter the Konoha, I hate myself for hesitating to take on a new mission when Tsunade offers it. I hate myself when I have to walk through the halls of the Hyuuga compound, I hate myself when I hide from Neji. I hate myself when I walk into my room and burst into tears. I hate myself for getting my hope that high in Ame only to have them all crash and burn. I hate that I feel more broken today than I did 3 weeks ago.

Sasuke, age 16

I’ve been in a weird mood since a week ago when I saw Hyuuga in the Village Hidden in Rain. I hadn’t heard or seen anything related to Konoha since I left during the Chunnin exam. She was my first contact with it. Hinata Hyuuga, I remember her name clearly, she holds a special meaning to me, she is a life I saved. I saved her back before I was caught up in any business with Orochimaru, when I still thought following Kakashi was the right path to take, back when I was stupid and naïve. I hadn’t thought of her since that moment, but when my eyes fell onto her, I felt proud that she survived, but I also felt the need, the urge to utterly crush her beneath my feet. Her life belongs to me; I saved her so, I have every right to destroy her.

I could tell she was uncomfortable with me there, I felt her flinch as I traced the scar above her pelvis, I heard her whimper when I turned around, and I saw from the corner of my eye, as her legs have in and she fell to the floor. She looked small and pathetic and I felt strong in comparison.

However, now, days later I feel…guilt. I feel as if I used something against her that I shouldn’t have. At the time her image was blurry and not something I paid attention to, but I can clearly see it now whenever I close my eyes. He white skin had almost no imperfections besides the three scars, her eyes were shut tight, her face was red and wet, at the time I gloated at the thought that the water droplets were tears, now I’m hoping they were from the shower. Her long dark hair was wet and clinging to her body. She did her best to hide from me with her hands, with her position slightly bent. She was helpless, she didn’t even try to stop me, she didn’t scream or fight back, she froze in place and allowed me to do whatever I wanted. At the time that too made me feel powerful, I deluded myself into thinking that my presence as Sasuke Uchiha made her cower in fear. Now that I am analysing things once more, I realize it was her trauma that rendered her powerless, it was my presence that caused her fear, but she wasn’t scared of me, Sasuke, but rather of me, a male; she didn’t see me as an individual but as the image of the man that hurt her in the past.

Realizing that in her mind I was equal to that disgusting piece of trash makes me livid. I clench my jaw, pick up the first thing I see, a jar of whatever substance from one of Orochimaru’s labs and I throw it to the wall. The green liquid escapes its container and slowly eats away at the wall and ground, the sizzling noise and putrid smell don’t even bother me. I’m angry at her, I want to find her and scream in her face that I’m not that man. I wanna shake her until she understands. I am mad at her, at myself. Kabuto comes in and curses, he drags me out and talks under his breath, his presence adds to my anger.

“What do you want?” I ask him, I’m looking down at him. I grew taller these past few weeks, taller than him. I want him to pick a fight, I want a reason to smash his face in. The image of his bloody face as he lays unconscious on the ground would bring me the satisfaction I need. He looks mockingly at me, that’s enough to start a fight.

Less than 20 minutes later the fight is over, he’s not unconscious, he’s still standing, more precisely, walking away. But he is bleeding and so am I. The fight didn’t help. I still feel angry, but my anger is slowly being overshadowed by guilt.

The sudden urge to find her and apologize overcomes me, but I dismiss it. She’s long gone…I checked. The two of us won’t meet anytime soon and even if we do, I’ll never apologize, not to her, not to someone that…weak…

Hinata age 22

After sleeping in until 11 after all, I wake up to Sasuke’s face next to mine, I feel at ease, I feel happy. I cup his face and place a kiss over his closed eyelids. I feel his change in breath when he wakes up but his eyes remain closed. His arm comes around my waist and pulls me closer to him, slowly he opens his eyes and offers me a lazy smirk. For a while I forget that we’re in Konoha, I forget everything about people trying to control me. All my worries just disappear with his presence.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks and brushes my bangs out of my eyes. ‘You’ I want to say, but I decide to be selfish instead. I sit up and he does too, I move towards him and place myself on his lap, we are chest to chest, face-to-face. “I am unsure how long they’ll make me stay here. This... sensei job…they could stretch it for months, who knows.” I hate that that’s true, I hate that they’re trying to cage me into the village. “it’s difficult being here for an indefinite period of time, especially since I don’t have out missions to look forward to. So…” I stop talking, rethinking what I’m about to ask, wondering if it’s worth it, but he looks at me with no judgement, he’s waiting patiently. “So…I was thinking. Maybe being here in Konoha would be better…if you were here as well” Part of me initially regrets the words and wants to take them back.

“You want me to stay here until you can go back to your normal missions” he didn’t formulate it as a question so I didn’t reply, mostly because I didn’t trust myself not to say no, to act like it was a joke, so I stay silent. “Ok, I will” his hand is on my wrist and it’s slowly moving up under my tank top. “You should already know that anything you ask of me, I’ll do Hinata” I do know that, but this was something that I had been afraid to ask for a while. Would staying in Konoha be better with him here? It must be.

We talk some more about his stay in Konoha and then proceed to eat a late breakfast. “I passed by the cottage outside of Amegakure on my way to Konoha” that cottage will forever represent my safe space, all my memories in it are out-of-this-world happy. The cottage itself is pretty much outside every territory of every village, it belongs to nobody, yet that’s the place I feel I belong in. I stayed there for my thirst or fourth mission as an ANBU, as usual Sasuke met up with me and we live together there for months. Sasuke and I worked together for most of my missions, we completed them faster than it was estimated they would take and we spent the remaining of the time just being together outside of all the rules of everyone. That was the place in which after much deliberation and inner-fights I decided to put my trust in him. By then we had already expressed our feelings verbally and with actions such as kisses and hugs, but I wanted to move past that because I craved that closeness with someone, I wanted a stronger bond between us, but also out of spite, I wanted to prove that I was able to enjoy sex. I wanted to prove that what had happened no longer affected me. Out first time was a bit awkward, we were both virgins, Sasuke was overly conscious of making me feel comfortable and I just wanted it to be done with so our desired speed didn’t match, but it happened and it was fine. The second and third time around it was much better and now we reached a point in which intimacy with him doesn’t scare me in the least, I love it and it makes me feel amazing. I am aware that I’m not fully over the incident, the close proximity of strange men that I don’t know still bothers me at times, however, I am much stronger and able to protect myself, I am just...wary.

I end my train of thoughts by going back to the memory of our first time and it makes me giggle a little. Sasuke asks me with his eyes what I’m laughing about and my reply is only a smirk, I see the wheels spinning in his brain and the connections being made. I love that after so many years we’re able to just understand each other in this manner. He gets up from his chair and walks around the table to place his hand on the nape of my neck. “I can show you how much I’ve improved since than” he whispers and bends down to kiss me. I smile against his lips and loop my arms around his neck allowing him to pick me up.

I must have fallen asleep again because I am woken up this time by Naruto loudly knocking on my door. He left me alone yesterday because Sasuke was around but I guess even his long-lost best friend can’t keep his attention off of me for more than 24 hours. I look next to me and my heart hurts because Sasuke isn’t there. I tell myself it’s because he felt Naruto so he left, but I still don’t like that.

Naruto keep knocking on the door and I’m sure he’s about to tear it down if I don’t open it soon so I walk to it in my pjs with my hair a mess. When I open the door, he stops in his tracks. “Oh…” his eyes linger onto the scar on my shoulder, he has an obsession with it I’ve noticed. Does he believe that’s my biggest scar…if only he knew. “I didn’t know you were sleeping, I’m sorry”

“After yesterday’s mission the kids have the day off so I wanted to rest” I don’t assure him that it is ok even though I know that’s the polite thing to do. I am bitter and annoyed that Sasuke isn’t there. For a split moment when I woke up, I thought I had imagined his presence.

“I just wanted to bring these to you.” He says and presents me with a pile of papers. “I know you were given them before when Kakashi assigned you as their sensei” hah, like it was Kakashi’s idea. Hokage-sama wouldn’t have pushed me into being a sensei from a Black Ops and we all know that. I know Naruto pulled all of the strings to get me here, however, Kakashi-san is also to blame for allowing all of this to happen “but I think you should really read them well, you said you have a free day today. I can stay here with you and read them together”

I look at him and his easy-going smile. On normal days I’d try and be nice, but all I want to do today is spend my time in peace. “I heard Uchiha-san is back. Are you sure you want to spend the day with me reading about some kids rather than catch up with him?” I feel sorry for guiding Naruto towards Sasuke, but I know Sasuke and if he’s one thing, he’s good at not being found.

Upon hearing Sasuke’s name Naruto’s smile brightened to the extent that it actually hurt my eyes. “I already saw and talked to him today” He left before Naruto came here, was it before we ate? After? When did they meet? “We talked and agreed to go on a mission together this week” He’s leaving after I asked him to stay “We went to Kakashi and already got all the info, so I’ll spend a lot of time together with him and find out all about what he’s been up to in these years and I ---” Naruto keeps talking but I feel suffocated.

#sasuhina #sasuhina month #sasuhina month 2021 #sa survivor #sasuhinamonth2021 #shmonth #shmonth2021 #shino #hinata #susake uchiha #hinata hyuuga #uchiha #hyuuga #sasuhina facfic #fanfic #fanfiction #dia story #diawrites

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aphrodite1288 · 4 years ago

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Ks has been receiving love calls since he was still in the army. He had already said that if he was asked to participate in a variety show, he would accept. He doesn't want his private life exposed is one thing, doesn't mean he doesn't want to be promoted. You are making excuses for the neglect, mistreatment and sabotage the career him

#Disclaimer: 1st of all that's going to be a long ass Post to reply to any asks like that, so I hope people would read everything and not just read half of it and go bark somewhere about something I said that I have explained later but y'all didn't reach it to read it! So read everything before making comments or sending me asks. I don't want to repeat what I said here. So read before coming at me and bombard me with asks about stuff I already discussed here in this answer!

Sis you barely even know anything of him now. He already started filming his movie in June and finished filming his MV in late May or early June and you knew nothing about it 💁🏻‍♀️ coz if he really wanted to share that with y'all he would have mentioned it in his bubble or at least we would have seen him outside in the set. BUT HE DIDN'T WANT TO 🤷🏻‍♀️ HE doesn't want y'all to know, and don't tell me "coz SM is locking him up in the basement" that's why he can't breath and write you in bubble?? Heck! He even comes sometimes just to tell us about the weather or to drop a song and never mentioned about anything else about his life or his schedule. Normally all the members update about them going into their schedules but without revealing the content of the schedule coz that's the rules, but at least we get a pic or two of them heading to their schedules! To know that they're jobless! Heck Sehun is jobless now but we see him more than we see Ksoo who's extremely busy with a drama a movie and a debut and album preparations and promotion preparation! But Ksoo doesn't want that! He doesn't want y'all to know things about his life or what he does, or where he goes 🤷🏻‍♀️ That's why his fans and Fansites are so secretive and don't share anything, UPON HIS REQUEST. And to respect his extreme private character.

If he wanted he would have accepted Variety shows darling. He is busy filming a drama and a movie and making a debut and an album and preparing for promotions. Do you think he is free to be on Variety now? Even if he was asked , he can't now. Maybe later after or during his debut to promote for his album yeah, But definitely not now. Yes he had opportunities and he refused them coz he's busy. And maybe we would see him in the future but he is not into reality shows that much. Now he is focusing on his acting career and singing career relatively. As he is still not built as a solo artist yet to start a new journey for building a variety character and image for himself now. But maybe after his debut. Hopefully 🙇🏻‍♀️🕯️🕎

Sis he is busy, booked and he doesn't like being in the lights. He said it himself he had trauma in the past that left scars on him and affected his behavior with his own fans that's why he said he is distant from them.

Stop making me look like I hate Kyungsoo. This account is MAINLY and ONLY about HIM and Ji 💁🏻‍♀️ do you think I'd bother make an acc about him and talking about him 25/8 if I hated him 🤦🏻‍♀️

Fans don't want to admit their idol don't like interacting much with them 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's the truth. He likes his job but not the fans and sasaengs and aeygo part of it. He said it himself, he even thought of quitting Many times, as he found that he isn't FITTING into this idol world.

There's something u need to know, SM only wants to renew with Ksoo and Chan and Ji and Baek and mainly KSOO and Baek. So he is not sabotaged he is favored in the company. It's just that he doesn't like working with sM anymore! and he is enjoying his acting career and idol life while being locked up in the studio and movie sets without fans mobbing him and following him everywhere. If it wasn't for Hongki we would never know that Ksoo started filming and making his album and blah blah. Yes Ksoo doesn't like talking much to the fans and he isn't the type of idols to share everything about his life and everything he does.. with his fans. As he does his job as a real job and he enjoys it. I sometimes doubt that ksoo is the one writing in bubble 💭 except for the song recommandations maybe. 🤔

If he wanted he would have sent y'all pics of himself in Bubble like how all the members do but HE DOESN'T WANT TO 💁🏻‍♀️ Now go blame SM on that too.

I was always told that Ksoo said he wished he was a professional actor and singer but to not be famous! He said he wishes to be known for his talents and to do his job that he loves so much but to not famous at the same time 😂 which is impossible btw. He said he hates fame. He wishes he could do the job he loves so much but without the whole interacting and fame and spotlights part of it. I was told that. Since very long ago and I was sad at first to hear that. But after seeing Kyungsoo enjoying his privacy and not being mobbed and respected by his fans, I was extremely happy. Heck you can rarely hear anything about him or see any pics of him from his fans coz they keep everything to themselves coz I was told that that's what Kyungsoo wants and they keep his life private and never share anything about him- I was so happy to see him do what he likes the way he likes it in complete privacy.

We rarely hear he was out with someone for a meal but when we do, it's years after it happened 😂 or with no pics at all. Like how he met Zico and they were both at the studio maybe collaborating. But we didn't get any pics from his solo stans and Fansites not even Exol. Cuz they know he doesn't like it when things about him get exposed .

Like we rarely saw any pics of him outside not before military nor after. And this been happening for years now since debut (I mean the issue of rarely getting updates and pics about him in the streets or restaurants or hanging out with friends) wdym SM is putting him in the dungeon for once debut?? No! Sorry he was the most promoted member and the first one to start a solo career as an actor ONLY 2 years after his debut when he was still a rookie, he has always been the most promoted among all the members even before Jongdae and Baekhyun ! 🤷🏻‍♀️

To put it up in another way: Ksoo doesn't like working with sM anymore and all the members too as they're all now going to leave and not renew so they mostly accept few of the projects suggested to them to make profit from them and stay active in the lights in the mean time before they decide what to do later. So they will not risk taking big opportunities with big companies or shows and sign big-long term-contracts for a long period with big acting or variety companies coz they can't do much projects now in the name of SM since the contract is nearing its expiration, so as long as they r still labeled as SM ARTISTs and still under SM contract so SM would still take their fair share of the profits, So since their contract is nearing its end..they can't do big projects that require long period of time such as accepting deals for long term positions in a show such as "Official MCs" or "Fixed cast member in a show that would last for years" or to "sign with an acting company coz most of them have the bare minimum for a contract is 3 years i guess (idk i don't remember) or to sign with any company that obliges a long-term contract " etc.. coz SM would still take their profit even after they leave as the contract was signed with those companies when Exo's contract with sm was still on. And that's the last thing they want.. is after leaving your shitty company, they would still take profits from you.

Also most companies don't suggest you big and long term projects when your contract with your company is nearing its end! That's why most if the members now are jobless only getting few short-termed projects, Coz these companies are not only working with the idol BUT they're working with their company as well. As it's the one who decides most of the the idols opportunies and decisions and does everything for them.

So if you don't like the truth and don't like to hear things that don't go along with your fantasies about your Oppa then that's not my problem 🤷🏻‍♀️ Go Fix it .

And I hope you won't drop Ksoo after discovering something about him that you didn't like to admit he has 💁🏻‍♀️ he doesn't like yall to know things about him and he doesn't like interacting with his fans that much through social media. He has a private IG and if he wanted to talk to y'all he would have made a public one but he doesn't 🤷🏻‍♀️ just like Jongdae! And they are free and we should respect their decision! Jongdae Chose his private life over fans and trust me he is so happy with his wife and daughter and i saw them with my own eyes. He is enjoying his privacy and he is caring less about what haters are saying or if fans are disappointed.

You should get used from now on to the feeling that your bias doesn't want your nose always in his life and doesn't always want you to know everything about him and doesn't want to show himself up in programs and projects he doesn't want to do just COZ YOU WANT TO SEE HIM THERE. Also Make it in your heads that your bias private life and his close people are 1000 better than being with you all the time and satisfying your requests and fantasies💁🏻‍♀️

Respect and understand that your idol doesn't always want you to know everything about them and if your Oppa likes to be introvert and private you should respect that ! instead of complaining 25/8 on Bubble and twitter and IG about wanting to see him.

Be like Korean Exol they see Ksoo they meet him all the time they photograph him yet they never share anything or if they do it's after a long time, just coz they respect him and they know how private he is and how he hates his info and pics of him enjoying his day being exposed all over the internet. That's why we rarely get updates about Ksoo from OPs. And even if you beg them to buy his pics and updates they won't give u anything. That's why sasaengs always say they can't get anything about ksoo coz it's very hard as he is a very private person and his info are the hardest and most expensive to get.

Remember in the first half of 2019? When he disappeared for 6 months straight and never updated one word about himself and we were so worried and though he was leaving? He didn't even come out to deny the departure rumors it was SM who did, instead when we were all scares he was leaving and we haven't heard anything of him and were dying of concern, he was enjoying his cooking courses and applying for military and preparing for his position as a chef in military and going on vacation with his friends and squads and lover and chanyeol and you didn't know anything about him, you didn't hear one word from him! (Except for the pics with chanyeol at the airport and just coz chan was there if he wants tI doubt we would have got pics of ksoo at the airport leaving to japan) And he went straight to military after that with no update nor a goodbye Party nor anything! Just a plain letter in which he said he will enlist and after that he disappeared for 3 years (6 months before military and 1 year and a half of military and 7 months after discharge💁🏻‍♀️) Heck He even went and told the member that he will enlist without hesitation coz he is like that and members said they were shocked when he came and said he is enlisting all of a sudden like he just told them he was going to play football or something 🤷🏻‍♀️ He didn't want to make a goodbye party for his enlistment like how XIUMIN did, and why again? for the same goddam reason 🤷🏻‍♀️ don't you ask yourself why we rarely get any news about him 🤔 it's COZ HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW. 😂

After his discharge we heard he went along with Park shinhye and his Hyung actors squad to play golf together right after his discharge (in January 25th) , in February but we got no pics 💁🏻‍♀️ Why? Same reason🤷🏻‍♀️ everyone in korea knows Ksoo doesn't like coming out of the closet and expose himself to the public and interact with FANS and haters and obsessed fans and sasaengs.

KSOO WAS TRAUMATIZED BY FANS and SASAENGS AND IF YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DID TO HIM AND WHAT HE SUFFERED YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND HIS LACK OF INTERACTION WITH FANS and you WOULD GIVE HIM EXCUSE. HE CAN'T HELP IT! He tried so hard to get over this issue but couldn't. HE LOVES HIS FANS BUT HE CAN'T INTERACT WITH THEM PROPERLY AND HE APOLOGIZED ABOUT THAT A LOT! So please understand him.

Sometimes it's not always the company sometimes it's the idol himself who wants some SPACE. Maybe A LOT of space 😂 in Ksoo's case.

I'm not making excuses for the sabotage and Mistreatment, I'm showing you the Kyungsoo that you probably don't know.

We can't judge SM mistreatment to him now as he is not active now, but once his album is dropped that's when we would see and we could judge if they treat him well or not. And i hope his album would get all the promotions his talents deserve.

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wulfies-kpop-fanfics · 4 years ago

Text

One Photo → Mark Lee [5]

↳ Pairing: Mark Lee/Reader

↳ AU: Soulmate!AU - The first touch of two soulmates permanently scars their bodies.

↳ Warning: Smut, loss of virginity, unprotected sex

↳ Word count: 6,964

↳ Chapters: Prelude | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | You Are Here! | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

⁙ Summary: For an end of the year photography project, you’re tasked with taking a photograph for your favourite group, NCT127, and coincidentally, discover your soulmate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRIDAY - 5 - Part 1

The covers that enveloped you were warm and soft, keeping you nearly trapped under the weight of a thick duvet. Time ticked by slowly as you found the most comfortable position in bed.

Mark's body was pressed taut against you, and you could feel nearly every inch of him attached to your backside. His arm was draped over you, his hand casually coming to rest over your tummy, only he had put in the lazy effort of slipping it underneath your nightshirt.

Even when Mark is asleep he's driving you crazy. You doubt he's even noticed that your skin is twitching under his touch, the comfort and warmth of blankets making every feeling warmer and sensitive. You feel his steady breath tickling the back of your neck, his pelvis pressed against your ass, and you let out a whimper when he adjusts himself.

"(Y/N)?" Mark's voice is groggy and filled with sleep. He grips your hip gently, fingers sliding over the flesh of your side. "Are you okay?"

"What would you do if I told you no?" You ask sheepishly, turning around in bed so you were facing him. The darkness of your room left a lot to the imagination, but you could still slightly make out his twinkling eyes. Again, you felt like he was staring straight at your soul.

"Then I'd ask why you're not okay," he says, and you can tell he's smiling at you. His hands are beginning to wander up your body, from your hip to your waist.

"You, silly. I can't get you out of my head. Everything you do sets my heart on fire - I can't sleep or study, I-" another whimper escapes you when you feel his index finger gently flick your nipple.

"You do the same to me," he admits. "I can barely keep my hands off you. You're intoxicating…" his hand slides away from your breast, running down your arm to grasp your hand. "Here," he guides you down to tuck your hand underneath the pant line of his sweats, his member hard and hot. You circled your hand around it and Mark sighed in relief.

You suck in a sharp breath. "Mark,"

"Don't talk," he commanded lowly. "Just kiss me, please,"

Through the darkness, your lips met in a wet kiss. His hips thrust into your hand, causing him to groan and separate from the kiss so he could rest his forehead against yours.

"Good," he groaned, closing his eyes tightly and licking his lips. "Fuck, grip it harder."

As soon as you comply and tighten your grip on his cock, he moans again and began thrusting harder into your hand. Hearing and feeling all of this nearly floods your underwear, and you wished that he was fucking you instead of your hand.

Mark kisses you again, desperate. You can feel the puffs of him breathing through his nose on your face, and you can barely keep yourself sane.

"Mark-" his voice rolls off your tongue once you manage to break his kiss, as if you were begging, and he barely slows down. He tightly holds your shoulder, and you think it might bruise.

"Y-yeah?"

"Please," you really feel like you're begging now.

(Y/N)!

That wasn't Mark's voice.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)! (Y/N)!"

Groaning, you begin to open your eyes. The room isn't quite bright yet, and suddenly you feel a great weight on your abdomen.

"Mark?" You ask dumbly, the figure shaking you awake not quite clear enough for you to see.

"No, it's me!"

One you realize you can move your arms, you bring your hands up to rub your eyes. Your vision clears up and you realize Rhiannon is sitting on top of you, looking down on you with a giant grin on her face. Her hands are gripping your shoulders tightly, enough that you wince.

"Rhiannon, what the hell?" You ask, barely reaching your glasses that were perched on your desk. You slip them on and even further notice that she is shirtless. "You woke me up. Put a shirt on."

"I know, dummy!" She exclaims. "Look!" She shoves her chest further into your face until you see it. Puffy scar marks in the shape of hands on her shoulders.

"You have-"

"Donghyuck is my soulmate!"

You’re too tired for this, and coming out of a dream that surely will not leave your brain. “Rhiannon, I’m happy for you, but can you please get off me?” Raising an eyebrow, Rhiannon lifts herself from your body and sits on the edge of your bed. She’s still grinning like a maniac, tracing the scars. “My hand marks are going to be on his chest,” she reminds you, tapping her feet excitedly on the floor. “I’m gonna rip off his shirt tonight so I can look at them. And do other things. As you do.”

Groaning, you peel the covers off yourself. “Jesus, TMI,” you say, rubbing your eyes. “You’re way too excited about this.” Rhiannon scoffed. “You’re not excited enough! We’re soulmates with two members of NCT! How amazing is that?! All the fanfictions in the world could never have actually prepared me for this! What should I wear?” You’re soon enough drowning out her hushed ramblings on if she should try looking for a new dress at Forever 21. “I’m happy for you, Rhi, but you should really stop worrying so much. Didn’t you have an outfit planned out a month ago?” You ask, standing up and moving out of your room to start the day, Rhiannon following close behind.

“Yes,” she replied immediately, watching you dig through your clean clothes for the outfit you set aside for the day. “But now that I know I’m Donghyuck’s soulmate, I think I should wear something better.” “We’re going to an NCT concert, dude. NOT wearing neon green is gonna make you look just plain weird. Just go with what you picked out.”

Rhiannon sighed, conceding with a dejected nod. “I just don’t know if he’ll like it or not.” You smile, finally pulling out your own neon green tank top and blue shortalls. “He’ll love it, stop worrying.” You pull on your own outfit, adding a handmade hairband with the word 마크 written in little neon felt letters atop it. "How do I look?"

"Stunning, as usual," Rhiannon replies, smiling. "I'm gonna go get changed. See you at the venue." Rhiannon disappears into her bedroom as you grab your backpack and a granola bar, heading out to the last class of the week.

Let's hope I don't trip and ruin my clothes…

Friday. Two days left to submit your final for evaluation, but if you were to get the grade you wanted, you decided to submit it at the end of class. From your locker, you pulled out your finished portfolio, a playfully decorated photo book covered in stickers and polaroid photos. All that was left was your mini-essay.

You arrived into class and greeted Moose warmly, quickly letting her get back to her own project that she was finishing up. Once you sit down at your computer, you read through your document that you had been working on whenever you weren’t with Mark. - Final Portfolio and Bonus Objective -

Love in Photographs

(Y/N) (L/N)

Ms. Prentice

Photography 203

In this essay, I will address the personal effects of photography and how, in the second and final year of my program, my entire life has changed within a week’s time. In this final, my photos will reflect on why I chose to use the concert program as my focus.

Photography is, to me, an incredibly emotional profession. From weddings to sprawling landscapes, a photo will mean something to someone. It means a beautiful memory that will last forever, the progression of nature and our planet, or solid evidence of a crime that could provide closure to a mourning family.

Photography can also have an impact during the social interaction of business. It didn’t occur to me for nearly two years that I’ve spent studying the profession. When I signed up for the concert program, I was just a fan of the group I happened to see a flyer for. NCT is a K-Pop group currently touring in North America and the group that hired me for the program.

It was my emotional connection to them that made me want to take the job. It was thrilling to think about working for them as my first clients, even if it was a co-op program. I wanted to meet them, talk with them, learn what they wanted and do my best to make it a reality. The program was always going to be an emotional experience for me, but I truly learned about how photography was an emotional two-way street after I met Mark Lee in person.

After this week, I truly believe that everybody winds up getting the jobs they’re supposed to get.

Mark Lee is the main subject of my portfolio and a member of NCT. He was the person I spent the most time with, and considering the specifications of NCT’s commission, he was the person I worked with the most. While NCT specifically asked for one singular photo, Mark was insistent on spending time with me, letting me take photos of him for my project. The day after meeting him, my scars appeared. Mark Lee was my soulmate, something that I never thought I’d find - and would never have looked for intentionally.

The connection we formed was stronger than any other emotional bond I’ve had throughout my life, and from that moment on, every photo I took was a passion project. Sealing my soulmate in the immortality of a photo was exhilarating. Something I could keep close while he was away. It made me think of future clients, an image was clear in my head of someone asking me for the same thing. Something to see and remember even if the subject of that photo was too far away to touch.

In the past, I had been sceptical of having a soulmate of my own, but I knew I had to dampen my prejudice for the sake of future clients, especially those looking to hire me for their wedding photos. In wedding ceremonies, I would be photographing soulmates that could be naked for all I knew. Soulmate marks could appear anywhere, after all. Still, my worldview made me reluctant to think about that branch of career. I told myself I would only photograph wildlife or do fully clothed modelling, even if that decision cut my clientele in half. Until Mark Lee.

In this portfolio, you can see Mark on various outings with me and the rest of NCT, or just posing for the sake of a ‘cool picture with the subway in the background’. Photographs don’t need to have a purpose as a photograph holds meaning no matter what the subject is. For me, the photos in this final represent letting go of my fears and finding love, humbling myself and seeing that I can branch out and do more than I planned. Instead of seeking grandeur, I want to take photos of anything someone might find the smallest amount of happiness in. A smile, a flower, a kiss. Even if someone is worried about asking for something that may seem trivial, I want to assure them that if it means something to them, it means something to me, too.

Any photo here of Mark Lee, or even the one photo I took of NCT, to me, is a symbol of love. To make new friends and experience a culture different from mine, to see their dreams become a reality in front of me. If this final project before I graduate is the gate to my own dream coming true, these photos will definitely represent my passion. To see more than just myself. To see others and the love they share for anything this world has to offer.

Originally, the portfolio I was going to create was going to be just one photo from the program, but in the end, over half of what is included was from the past week. An emotional connection to the world and everything in it is every bit important in the world of photography as skills with a camera. Both of which I hope to carry into the world with me as my career truly begins.

Satisfied, you saved your work and went through it once more with Grammarly to make sure you hadn’t let any mistakes slip past. Your heart beats rapidly in your chest as you send the document to the classroom printer, knowing that once you tape your essay inside of your portfolio project, it was time to submit early and wait for your teacher’s sign of approval on your graduation form. After submitting your papers into the printer, you make your way to the classroom’s printer and log in to your account, selecting the pages you’ve sent to it. Now it was time to wait. Your phone buzzes, and you pull it out to read a text. Mark: How’s class?

You: I’m almost done my paper

You: Gonna submit it and then I can leave early

Mark: Sweet see you soon?

You: Yeah, see you soon

Mark: I can’t wait, I had a strange dream last night

Before you can reply, your paper finishes printing. Deciding to answer his text later, you return to your desk and finish up your final. You quickly flip through the book to make everything is secured, and with a deep breath, you stand. Ms Prentice is smiling at you from her desk, beckoning you over once she realizes you have your portfolio in hand.

“Glad to see my top student is still consistent,” she said in a sing-song voice, taking the portfolio from you as soon as you reach her desk. “Are you sure you don’t want to take the weekend to add more? I heard the concert you’re attending is today.”

You shake your head. “No, ma’am. I completed the task I was hired for, so any photos I take at the concert won’t have an impact on the messages I want to convey.”

She smiles at you. “I look forward to looking through it, then. You’re dismissed if you have nothing else to complete here.” “Nothing else unless you have a task for me,” you answer, smiling down at her.

Ms Prentice shakes her head, still smiling. “Go ahead, enjoy the rest of your day. Say hello to Mark for me. He’s quite the polite young man.” Blushing, you nod. “Okay, I will.”

As soon as you stepped outside the classroom, you breathed a deep sigh of relief. All of your finals were completed and after the final week of classes, you would prepare to graduate at the end of June.

After making a quick stop to the arts building to pick up a photo frame, you put on some music and headed out to the streetcars. It was still quite early in the morning, so you had a place to sit down during your trip to the venue. You noticed you still hadn't answered Mark's text, you decide to do so while you waited.

You: sorry, was submitting my final - prof says hello

You: I'm on my way now

You: What do you mean by strange dream?

It didn't take Mark long to reply.

Mark: travel safe

Mark: Well it's a little embarrassing to explain kinda

You: I had a dream too last night with you in it

Mark: what happened in it

You: you stayed with me last night and you slept in my bed

Mark: and that's it?

You: hell no >\\\>

Mark: I think we had the same dream

You: how did it end?

Mark: well, uh, you know…

You: mine ended with rhiannon waking me up so I think mine got cut off

Mark: oh

Well I think you can infer what ended up happening

You: aaaaaaaaaaa

Mark: I just wish I could have stayed

You: I wish too but I'll be there soon

Mark: I'll meet you at the station

You: arent you worried about fans swarming you

Mark: nah it's too early for any fans to be showing up since everything is seated there is no reason to camp out

You: okay as long as you're sure

You: Thank you

Mark: of course <3

You: I'm really nervous

You: That dream I had felt really real

Mark: it did for me too

You put your phone down and licked your lips. If anything, you would have loved to live out that dream. Go all the way. It made your body ache thinking about it, but it also made you nervous to think about sneaking around the others if you suggested it to Mark.

You arrived at your stop, a little surprised the place was mostly empty save for Mark sitting inside one of the bus shelters. As soon as he saw the streetcar pull up, he stood to wait for you by the curb.

Mark was still dressed in casual clothes, jeans and a black t-shirt with a pair of yellow converse. That probably meant they hadn't started getting ready for performances yet - which was reasonable considering it wasn't even midday.

Mark smiles when he spots you through the window, waving at you as you exited. Without a word you approached him and trapped him in a tight hug.

"Woah," he whispered, wrapping his arms around you. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you reply into his chest, voice muffled. "I just missed you."

Mark kissed the top of your head, "I missed you too." Gently holding your shoulders he separated from the hug. "Come on, let's go inside." He takes your hand and squeezes it gently, smiling down at you with a blush consuming his cheeks.

Mark leads you across the street and toward the venue, enjoying a comfortable silence blanketed under the warm summer sun. Just as you reach the maintenance doors, he pauses. "Oh, I almost forgot. Here, you'll need this." Mark reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled up lanyard. On the end of it was a laminated card that had the Neo City cover photo inside with "Backstage Pass" written on the bottom.

"Oh, thank you. I almost forgot about these." You let him put the lanyard around your neck, smoothing it out gently. He smiles and nods approvingly, then continues leading you inside.

There are people milling about, hauling things into the stadium from trucks. You don't have to explicitly show your lanyard, you assume, because you're with Mark, but workers are still cautiously watching you as you pass by.

Once you two enter the arena, you notice that you're close to the back section, where you originally bought tickets for. You spot everyone lounging around the stage that looked like it was just finished being put up. Rhiannon is there as well, sitting with Donghyuck and Jungwoo.

The arena itself was smaller than the largest one you've been to for another concert the year before, but it was still impressive. You take a quick look around, noticing the different sections and the VIP rooms that were attached to the ceiling. This place was originally for hockey, after all.

"Hey, guys!" Mark calls into the stadium. Everyone perks up from their conversation and wave at you, prompting you to wave back sheepishly. "Do you want to go see them, or?" Mark held your hand tightly, speaking softly.

"What do you mean?" You look at him, eyebrows furrowed in curiosity.

"You know… what we talked about. Make time?" There's something in Mark's eyes as he speaks like he's begging you, the usually bright and playful twinkle in his eyes replaced by love and need. His gaze flicks from your eyes to your lips, and he steps a tiny bit closer to you.

Before you can answer, you hear Rhiannon shouting in your direction in Korean. You quickly glance at her, and even though you're too far away to see her face properly, you can tell she's making an obscene gesture at you - making a circle with her thumb and index finger, passing the index finger of her other hand through the circle. The other guys burst out laughing, and you feel your cheeks light up in an embarrassed blush.

"Uhm, what did she say?"

Mark smiles awkwardly, face bright red. He still keeps eye contact, licking his lips before answering your question. "She said she better not catch us trying to fuck in the hallway again…"

You press your forehead into his chest, groaning. "Now they all know about that?!"

Mark chuckles gently. "Yeah, I'm sorry. It's okay though, they're all understanding, I promise. Come on, I have a place for us to go. If you want, that is."

"Y-yeah, but I don't want them to make fun of us…" Mark once again begins leading you out of the stage area and into the main hallway of the venue.

He holds you close as you walk, "I promise that they won't. They can have their fun now, but they'll be doing the exact same thing when they find their own soulmates."

You guessed that you could agree with him on that. You're not exactly sure where he could be leading you as you eventually approach a stairway. Mark stops, searching your expression silently.

"Are you okay, Mark?"

He licks his lips again when he hears his name. "Yeah, I'm okay. I just want to know if you really truly want to do this, and not because you feel pressured."

You gently squeeze Mark's hand, nodding. "I really want this. I give you my full and utter consent. I don't want you to be uncomfortable or pressured, either."

Mark smiles gently at you, relieved. He starts to go up the staircase. "That's why I came here with Donghyuck earlier than the others. Come on, we're almost there."

A little confused by what he meant, you let Mark keep the lead. At the top of the staircase was another smaller hallway lined with doorways. You figured it was to the observation boxes you saw when you were in the arena. He leads you to the end of the hallway, stopping at the final door.

"This one," Mark says to himself, looking back and smiling at you.

"You're not-"

Mark quickly opens the door and holds it open for you, allowing you to enter first. The premium seating area was a lot fancier than you expected- and a lot more closed off. The window overlooking the stage was covered by a black curtain, leaving the room dark until Mark entered the room behind you, flicking on the lights and setting them to be dim. He closed the door behind himself, leaving the two of you truly alone.

On the left of the room was a little kitchen area, complete with cabinets, a mini-fridge and a counter with an electric kettle sitting atop it. In the corner of the counter was a little sink accompanied by soft-looking tea towels. By the window was a bar table with some high chairs, next to it a coffee table shoved against it. On the left of the room was a couch with a soft blanket spread over it.

Mark kicked off his shoes and set them by the door. "What do you think?" He asked shyly. "We have this room until about 2, so plenty of time before people start looking for me."

"Wow," was all you could really muster, also managing to slide off your own shoes. You set your backpack next to them, placing your lanyard on the top of your bag. "You really did this just so we could have some time alone?"

"Yeah," Mark moved to stand in front of you, gently taking your hand and bringing it up to his face so he could kiss your knuckles fondly. "It beats a broom closet or the hallway outside your apartment," he grins.

Your face goes red as your memories flood of his knee nearly meeting your crotch the night before. "Yeah, you're right. Thank you for making me comfortable."

"Of course," he replies cheerfully. "Want me to make you some tea?"

"No, thank you," your gaze meets Mark's and you swallowed thickly. "I really can't get that dream out of my head," your voice quiets to a whisper, like someone outside could still hear you.

Mark's expression changes quickly, from cheerful to something you could almost discern as predatory. "Me neither," he agreed, his voice deeper and softer. "Can I kiss you?"

"You can do a lot more than that," you manage to breathe out before his lips are on yours. You wrap your arms around his torso, grasping the cloth of his t-shirt. His hands are resting gently over the jean material covering your hips, mouth moving against yours perfectly.

You whimper into the kiss, deciding to be a little bold. You untucked his shirt from his jeans and slide your hands underneath the fabric. He takes in a sharp breath once your hands land on his skin, and he breaks the kiss.

"Wow," he sighs, looking at you with half-lidded eyes. His face is flushed and he's smiling warmly at you.

You sigh in return, swallowing thickly. You want to kiss him again, but he backs up. The next thing you know, he's pulling off his shirt, the fabric landing gently on the floor. Mark then begins guiding your hands to touch his chest. His skin is smooth and soft, toned but not too muscular. His hands are wrapped softly around your wrists, guiding but not completely controlling where you touch.

"Feels good," he sighs, and you wonder if you should stay bold.

"I have an idea," you whisper, your gaze flicking to the couch for a moment. "Sit down?"

Mark silently agrees with you, both of you approaching the furniture. Mark sits down first, and you take a moment to drink in the view. He's already nearly panting, watching you and running his tongue over his lips.

Even though his soulmate scar has changed much of what his chest would originally look like, you see his pecs, hard nipples and the outline of nearly formed abs on his tummy. Your eyes continue down to the small black trail of hair that ends your gaze at the band of his boxers peeking out from his jeans. You can tell he's already half-hard in his pants, but you try to not let your gaze linger out of shyness.

"You're stunning, Mark," you say, possibly paralyzed as you stand in front of him.

He smiles, reaching both arms out to you. "C'mere," he says, "I want to know what you had in mind."

Licking your own lips, you nod and approach him, climbing onto his lap and straddling him. You gently kiss him once more, and when you back away, he tries to follow and catch your lips again. You shake your head at him, feeling his hands wander back to your hips.

Taking in a deep breath, you dive in. First, your lips meet the crevice of his neck to his traps, lightly trailing your lips across his skin. You feel the slight swelling of his scar, then normal skin as you end your little expedition on the edge of his shoulder. Placing a hand on his chest, you feel his heartbeat, a little fast-paced but steady. You close your eyes for a moment, readying yourself and hoping that he was going to like what you were about to do.

You lean back to look Mark in the eye, even if he is already lost in how he's feeling. "This all is okay, right?" You ask, just to make sure. Your hand slides from his chest down to his hip, slipping a finger barely underneath the band of his boxers.

"Oh yeah," he sighs. "Keep going."

You comply, lowering your mouth to gently flick your tongue on his right nipple. His reaction is immediate, a whimper that nearly sends you to the high heavens, a strong tingly feeling surging through your crotch.

"Fuck," the word sounded so obscene yet sweet coming from him, "that's good."

Smiling triumphantly, you continue with your plan. Gently licking and sucking ever so slightly on his chest until he's a moaning mess, his grip on your hips getting tighter and you start to feel his cock straining in his pants.

"(Y/N), wait, wait,"

You immediately perk up and begin to worry. "I'm sorry, did I-"

"No," he nearly laughs. "If you keep doing that, I'm gonna cum in my pants."

You sheepishly look away, "oh,"

"(Y/N), it's okay," Mark says softly, his hands coming to your chest to unclip your overalls, "let's make this about you, too."

You're speechless as he slowly guides you to stand up, the loose shortalls falling to the floor. His eyes are almost immediately glued to your panties, and you nearly forgot you were wearing your Avengers themed underwear today, the A symbol brandished proudly on the front.

Mark is grinning at you now. "Please tell me there are Avengers on your butt."

Whimpering out of embarrassment, you hide your face in your hands and you drop to your knees in front of him. Mark kisses your forehead, gently taking hold of your wrists again so you can't hide your face.

"It's okay, I really like them. Come and sit on my lap again, please?"

Once you realize how you're sitting, you look up at Mark. He's towering over you, and you like that he is looking down at you. "Do you not want me to-"

Mark shakes his head gently. "Not this time. I just need you in the real way right now."

When those words reach your ears, you know you're whipped. Standing and stepping out of the jeans pooled beneath you, you clamour back onto Mark's lap. Instantly he's back to kissing you, his hands now freely roaming up the sides of your body, softly. Like in your dream.

Before Mark can take off your shirt, you both began pressing harder against each other, causing you to moan into the kiss. It felt good to feel his clothed cock over your panties, one less layer preventing complete feeling.

"Fuck, I wanted to drag this out," Mark says in between kisses that are growing in intensity, "I can almost feel how wet you are and my pants are still on,"

"Take them off, please?" You ask, borderline begging. Mark smiles up at you and doesn't hesitate in complying. You balance on your knees with your hands on Mark's chest as he slides his hands between you both to unbutton and wriggle out of his pants, bringing his boxers with them. Once his cock is free, it sits flush and hard against his abdomen. You find yourself unable to peel your eyes away from it.

"Like what you see?" He jokes, gripping the shaft and moaning once he gives it a couple strong tugs. "Fuck, need you.."

"Mm," you're barely able to form a response, especially when Mark hooks his fingers against your shirt, coaxing you to lift up your arms and allow it to slide off. Next is your bra, and you help him unclip the back as he presses soft kisses to the swell of your breasts.

"God, you're beautiful, I'm so glad I have you," Mark then takes your hands to lace your fingers with his. Slowly you sink your body back down to rest against his cock, moving your hips ever so slightly, sliding the fabric of your panties against his bare member.

"Mark," you whimper, thrusting forward a little stronger. "I really want you to…"

"To what?" Mark asked, his voice husky and his pupils blown with lust. His lips meet yours one more time.

"Fuck me, please,"

Mark licks his lips and groans. "Just wait a little, gotta make sure.." he lets go of your hands, leaving them to rest again on his shoulders. His own trail down your sides, causing you to squirm and whimper at the touch, your skin incredibly sensitive. He soon takes a hold of your panties, sliding them down your legs. "Fuck, look, it's sticking to your underwear, that's so hot…"

You look down, and you notice a tiny string of wetness still attached to your underwear. You almost want to hide your face in the crook of Mark's shoulder, but instead, he coaxes you to stand long enough to rid your legs of your panties.

"Look at you," he whispers, making you acutely aware that you're completely naked in front of him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you look him in the eye, straddling his lap once more and leaning against him for a quick and intimate hug. "I've just never been naked in front of anyone before."

"Me neither, it's okay," he says softly. "Can I touch you?"

"Yes," you suck in a sharp breath as Mark trails a finger down your stomach. As soon as he reaches your crotch, you feel like you could explode into flames. You think this is the first time Mark has really hesitated, but you're fine with it.

"Like this," you say softly, using your hand to guide his. Gathering some wetness on his fingers, you guide him to rub a few tiny circles on your clit before you let him take over.

"Good?" He asks, continuing the movement until you nod, sighing. It felt amazing that you were finally getting to some relief of the ache that's been building inside your abdomen. Soon there's another jolt of pleasure running through you as Mark slips a finger inside you.

"Fuck, Mark," you whine, pressing your forehead to his. You can feel his breath on you, ghosting your lips against his own. Once Mark adds a second finger, you feel like his soft movements could make you cum right then and there. He's fucking you ever so slowly with his fingers that you could nearly call it torture. "Please, I think… I think I'm ready,"

"O-okay," Mark stutters for a moment, and it feels just as good when his fingers slip out. "We can go slow, right?"

"Any way you want," you answer, pecking his lips again.

"Okay," he sighs sweetly, guiding your hips downward with one hand and lining himself up with the other. "God, I can already feel it," he whines, feeling the tip of his leaking cock nudging your entrance. "Better than what I dreamed."

Ever so slowly, you're sinking down onto him. There's a bit of a stretch and a little bit of pain, but you work through it as best you can. Mark is clenching his jaw, eyes shut tightly. His hands are gripping your hips hard enough to bruise, and his breathing has picked up to wanton panting.

"Fuck, fuck, (Y/N), this is so good, it feels so good to be inside," His words cause you to pulse around him, making you both cry out. Without warning Mark's hips snap upward, his voice slowly groaning out more curse words, following your cry of surprise. "Fuck, I'm sorry, are you okay?"

You wince but nod at him once he opens his eyes. "Yeah, I'm okay. I think. I think we can move."

"Okay. I want to fuck you, is that alright?"

You nod, your face burning. You brace yourself, hands balancing on the back of the couch and gripping the soft blanket. When Mark starts to move, you can hear your wetness squelching and his accompanying quiet moans of 'fuck, that's hot.' Mark leans forward, his arms coming to broadly trap you in a hug as he slowly thrusts upward to meet with your pelvis. He presses wanton and open-mouthed kisses to your neck, and you can feel him smiling faintly every time you say his name.

You know for sure that you've quickly given up most of your ability to hold yourself up. Even though you're full of energy and are being consumed by a swirl of wanton feelings, the constant build of pleasure in your abdomen and the contracting of your pussy around Mark every time any noise came out of him left you feeling like a ragdoll. Mark is holding you up through his hug, and because of how your chests are squished together, you can feel him breathe.

"Mark," you managed to cry out once his slow thrusts began to grow faster and more needy, "Mark, I'm close,"

"Please tell me you're gonna cum first, fuck, (Y/N), please cum first!" Mark is losing his rhythm now, crying out stuttered moans between his begging for you to cum.

"Mark, don't stop, please… I'm gonna cum," You're unable to feel embarrassment from the obscenities leaving your mouth as the pressure that's been building inside you reaches its peak, your pussy rapidly pulsing around Mark's cock. Your eyes are rolling back as clear ecstasy washes over you, sharp spikes of pleasure eventually dulling.

"Fuck, tight, need more, fuck! Fuck, (Y/N), I'm gonna cum too, fuck, I'm cumming!" You're nearly about to begin whimpering from overstimulation before you feel Mark's cock still. It hardened even further, twitching inside of you and following it was the warmth of his cum.

Slowly, you both come down to reality, Mark gently kissing your neck as you lay nearly limp on him, his fingers tracing delicate patterns on your back. There is a clear sheen of sweat between you, and soon it becomes a little uncomfortable.

"Hey, do you think you can sit up? I need to get some stuff to get you clean," Mark's voice is calm and sweet, if not still a little ragged.

"I think so," you manage to answer, trying your best to balance again on your knees, your whole body starting to tremble. Mark's softening cock slides out, a dollop of his cum following. Somehow, you feel less complete without him there.

"Let me help," Mark says softly, gently guiding you to lay down on the couch. Once he knows you're comfortable, he pulls on his boxers and wanders to the counter.

You're watching him with hooded eyes as he reaches into one of the cupboards, pulling out a small pack of baby wipes, following with dampening two of the washcloths in the sink.

"I got these on the way back last night and that's how Johnny figured out what I wanted," he said sheepishly as he came back to you, kissing you softly before kneeling down and opening up the little packet. "He had the idea of bringing that blanket."

"I really didn't expect that to happen," you say, taking in a sharp breath when you feel coolness over your thighs as Mark cleans you up. "Thank you."

"Anything for you," he said, passing you the damp washcloth. "Just so we both don't look like we just had sex."

You nod, taking the cloth and dabbing it over your forehead and chest. Once your fatigue begins to fade, you sit up and watch Mark sitting cross-legged on the floor, wiping away the layer of sweat from his chest. His eyes meet yours, and the way he smiles at you makes you tear up.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Mark immediately looks concerned, standing and taking a seat next to you. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course," you wipe a tear away with your hand, "I just really love you." In that moment you feel more vulnerable than you ever had in your life. Naked, scarred and crying in front of your soulmate.

Mark's smile returns quickly, pecking a quick kiss to your cheek. "I love you, too, (Y/N)." His eyes are sparkling again, something that makes your heart ache even more, but in a good way. "Come on, let's get you dressed."

Soon he is standing again, coaxing you to join him. He helps you slip your underwear back on, making an idle comment and bearing a giant grin when he realizes that there really are Avengers characters on the butt of your panties.

Mark takes extra care in making sure you were comfortable and your bra was sitting properly on your chest. He blew raspberries on your tummy, grinning as you laughed. Honestly, the thought that should have been in your mind was completely dismissed in the sweet moments of Mark helping you get dressed.

"Now I'm hungry," you say as you finish putting on your shortalls, laughter on your lips, pretending to pout at Mark as he slips on his shirt, tucking it tightly back into his pants.

Mark nods, "yeah, me too. We can get some food in the green room. Here, you have a twisty strap," Mark approaches you once more and unclips one of your overall buttons, straightening out the strap and smoothing it along your shoulder. "There, all better."

"Thank you," you look back over the room, noticing a backpack that wasn't yours sitting next to the couch. "Is that yours?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah. After the show, I'm gonna come back here to grab it. I just have to fold the blanket and put away the washcloths."

"I can help you," you say, turning around go grab the blanket and fold it, but Mark gently takes your hand to stop you once you try to reach for the backpack to stuff it inside.

"It's okay, you can help me after. We should get something to eat now," Mark is smiling fondly at you, nodding toward the door. Huffing a tiny sigh you agree, putting the folded blanket down on the couch and following him to slip on your shoes, grab your lanyard and backpack, heading out the door.

#mark lee #mark lee x reader #mark x reader #nct #nct127 #nctu #nct scenarios #nct imagines #reader insert #fanfiction #kpop fanfictions #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines

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noa-nightingale · 4 years ago

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Steven Lim Appreciation Week: Watcher-era Steven

We are celebrating Watcher-era Steven and I want to talk about Hidden Narratives for this day of Steven Lim Appreciation Week!

From the description: “Steven Lim speaks with Asian American leaders across industries about how the coronavirus has impacted our community.“

There are six episodes and one of them is also on youtube. Keep in mind that these episodes were created in March/April 2020. More on that at the end of the post.

Quick disclaimer, I am not Asian American and it would be inappropriate for me to lead any kind of conversation about this podcast; therefore I attempted to keep this relatively surface-level. But I have to admit that I got carried away with this pretty quickly and I am not sure if I stayed in my lane. It was meant to be a short, appreciative post but it got out of hand - if I overstepped boundaries, please let me know.

A warning, this podcast deals with heavy and difficult topics, including racism, grief, pain, people losing their businesses, people hurting. It is also very focused on people coming together and how they can help each other - but these topics are still not easy. I still wanted to write about it because I think that Steven deserves all the appreciation in the world for his work.

The first words that come to mind when thinking about this podcast are “heart” and “dedication”. It has a lot of heart - and despite the not always happy topics, it is such a wonderful, beautiful podcast. You notice the hard work Steven put into it, the passion, the care.

In the intro of the first episode he said he was nervous when he made the podcast but that he hoped that people liked it because it would make him feel good. He explained where the idea came from: His friends talked about how the virus effected their livelihood, and he felt hurt and helpless. And he realized that he could share their untold stories.

Episode 1: How Coronavirus Shut Down A Restaurant in 24 Hours

In the first episode, Steven talks to his friend Deuki Hong, chef and owner of Sunday Hospitality Group, whose restaurants shut down in March 2020. He talked about the emotional impact of things happening so fast, trying to keep his employees safe and worrying about his team, having to question a lot of things he had been taught, and having to deal with the uncertainty.

Steven mostly asked questions and listened. Deuki Hong had to make some difficult decisions, and Steven was never judgmental about it - the podcast allowed for a very honest conversation about a very difficult situation.

The first episode very much was about trying to look out for each other, and that is a sentiment that continues throughout the entire podcast.

Deuki Hong said near the end of the episode: “When people are hurt, they just want someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, whatever that is, so be that person, just be kind, cause yeah, there’s a lot of hurt people right now.”

There is a GoFundMe set up for the team called Sunday Family Dream Fund. It is still open and has not reached its goal - the first episode of Hidden Narratives came out in March 2020 and the last donation to the GoFundMe was 8 months ago, so I am not really sure what the current state of affairs is. (I will come back to this at the end of my post.)

Episode 2: Why This NYC Restaurant Is Staying Open In A Pandemic

Steven mentions in the beginning of the second episode his “close emotional connection to the food industry” and that it is one of the reasons he started his podcast with two stories from two different restaurants. He also wanted to look at the topic of keeping the restaurant(s) open vs. closing it from two perspectives, and says that he does not know if there is a right or wrong answer.

Steven talks to Jimmy Ly, chef and co-owner of Madame Vo and Madame Vo BBQ. Jimmy Ly made the decision to keep his restaurants open. Steven started the conversation with: “Jimmy, thank you for sharing your story and I hope that those listening can gain a little more compassion, a little more empathy and a little more understanding.”

I found it touching that Steven’s first question was “How are you doing?” - it was asked in a way that allowed for an honest answer. This is also something he continues throughout the podcast, and it is very obvious that Steven is a very thoughtful and considerate person.

Jimmy Ly talked about his decision and for him, too, it is about his staff and his obligation toward them - the wanted to take care of them. Steven summed it up with “It is a choice for them between their livelihood and their safety”.

He talked about the measures they took to keep their staff as safe as possible and about adapting to the situation as best as they can.

Jimmy Ly said, if somebody on his team contracted the virus, he would shut his business down. It was obvious that none of the decisions he had to make and has to make are easy. They also talked about how Asian owned business were hit the hardest, and the drop in business for many.

The end of the episode got emotional - Jimmy Ly talked about how people who had to close their small businesses would most likely not be able to open them again. He said he and many others worked hard and that it is unfair that they could lose everything.

Steven talked about the impact Madame Vo had on him and that he could tell that Jimmy Ly cared about his restaurant, staff and customers and the food and that he poured love into it. Jimmy Ly said that Madame Vo means family to him.

The episode description includes the link to the Madame Vo website - Madame Vo Kitchen is still open while Madame Vo BBQ is “temporarily closed”.

Episode 3: FBI Warns Asian Americans Of Racist Outbreaks Due To Coronavirus

In the third episode, Steven talks to Benny Luo, the founder and CEO of NextShark, about the surge of racism against Asian Americans. He said despite growing up one of the only Asians in his school and being attacked for it, he has never seen so many Asian Americans being attacked in his life before.

From the description: NextShark is “one of the leading sources of global Asian and Asian American news”.

Benny Luo talked about the cases of racism against Asian Americans rising and that him and his team work the hardest they have ever worked in the history of the company to be able to report the stories.

He also talked about the impact of being confronted with those stories regularly - that it is psychologically draining but that his team feels a responsibility to do this work and that he is proud of his team.

Benny Luo told about someone writing to the team about the momentous moments happening for Asian Americans in the past years - and how it felt like it all came tumbling down. He said it is hurtful but that he also hopes it will be a time in history where the entire Asian community will come together.

But he also highlighted the good - there are people doing important work, in the medical field and in other fields, and it is important to be proactive - and these stories should be covered too.

Steven called the conversation “enlightening and therapeutic”. Benny Luo said to Steven: “You’re a creator, you’ve been a representative for us, being an Asian face on a really really big platform and (...) you doing interviews like this with me and you speaking up, I mean, those things have a lot of impact so no matter what it is, I think that you’ve made a big contribution in helping advance us forward.”

Here is the NextShark website.

Episode 4: On Andrew Yang And How Proving Our "American-ness" Won't End Racism

The fourth episode deals with the controversial op-ed by Andrew Yang that advises Asian Americans to show their American-ness to combat racism. Steven said that he was hurt by his words but also by the way Andrew Yang was treated as a result.

In the episode, Steven talks to Taylor Weik, a Japanese-American writer who wrote an article in response to the op-ed. From the description: “Taylor shares more context on why Yang's call-to-action was dismissive to the history of Japanese-Americans and details the negative impacts of Yang's article on the Asian American community.“

In his reflection of the episode, Steven said he did not know how to feel when the article came out - he did not agree with Andrew Yang and he thinks what he said was harmful but people also dismissed all of Andrew Yang’s previous accomplishments. Steven said he can understand the outrage. He said that he thinks that Andrew Yang can learn and that they can grow as a community.

It was clear that this was a difficult topic for Steven but he did his best to have a balanced and fair conversation and to not condemn.

Episode 5: Why American Healthcare Workers Aren’t Safe From The Pandemic

In the fifth episode, Dr. Shuhan He, an emergency doctor and the co-founder of GetUsPPE.org, talks with Steven about the shortage of personal protective equipment (PPE) for healthcare workers.

They had a conversation about what exactly PPE is and why it was so hard to get. They not only talked about the importance of PPE in hospitals but also in nursing homes. Another topic was the importance of wearing masks.

Steven said: “A lot of people are grieving and (...) I’ve been feeling a lot of pent-up sadness and I don’t know how to channel the energy.” He asked how people can help.

Here is the link to Dr Shuhan He’s organisation GetUsPPE. Once again Steven mentioned people coming together and doing good.

Episode 6: Should Churches Gather During a Pandemic?

The sixth episode is very personal to Steven - his Christian faith is the most important thing in his life. He talks to Pastor Drew Hyun, pastor and leader of Hope Church Midtown in New York City. Steven attended Hope Church when he was still in New York.

They talked about churches gathering - Pastor Hyun’s churches are meeting remotely. He said that people were missing connectivity and that’s why they decided to make services interactive and using Zoom instead of having live streams. They also switched their style of services to a style that would allow more interaction.

Pastor Hyun said what makes the situation so painful is that people share the collective grief but are still physically isolated. Steven asked how people are doing spiritually - Pastor Hyun said there was a hunger, and that people are starting to think about faith and life and God.

He said they would not be gathering because they want to be a loving community - a loving community would serve the vulnerable, deliver food to the elderly, raise money for small businesses, serve non-profits. He wanted to lean into love and generosity.

Steven talked about the challenges with his own faith - why would God allow such a devestating thing? He said he can at least channel all the energy of grief, and that giving back has been therapeutic for him. He also mentioned that churches are now more accessible than ever.

They talked about some churches not being willing to stop gathering in person - Pastor Hyun said it is a grief to him and that the most loving thing that churches can do is not to gather.

Again, the end of the episode got emotional - Steven asked how Pastor Hyun personally was doing and he told about how he tried to support the restaurant of a friend and walked out of it crying. He said it would be easy for him to fall into despair and cynicism - but that he clings to the thought that God will do something. He talked about people suffering and how hard it is to watch - and that the situation is challenging.

Steven said he would keep him in his prayers. Pastor Hyun said: “Thanks for what you’re doing and I think it’s beautiful - you’re telling the stories of pockets of light in the midst of what’s happening.”

In his reflection, Steven said that he had been struggling with the situation every day but where he can find joy and peace and confidence is God and the belief that God has a plan for him.

A few closing thoughts: I admire Steven’s dedication. I think this quote from the end of episode 3 sums it up: “I spend my evenings editing this, it’s not part of our overall business plan and probably, you know, we’re losing money from it. It’s not supposed to be my priority. But I’ve been given the green light by my co-founders, by my head of development to continue making this show.”

That’s incredible hard work right there. And it deserves to be recognized.

The podcast was created in the early stages of the pandemic. I don’t know how the people who shared their stories are doing now, about a year later. I would love to have some updates - I thought about doing some research myself and create sort of a follow-up but, again, I don’t know if I am the right person to do it.

To conclude this already too lengthy post, I want to return to the main themes that could be found in all episodes: Coming together, helping each other, creating support, being kind, channeling negative emotions into positive actions, making positive changes.

That’s what Steven is doing with this podcast and with the rest of his work, and it is very very impressive, commendable and inspirational.

#stevenweek #watcher #hidden narratives #usermarylan #usersimba #steven lim #religion

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the-singlest-pringle · 4 years ago

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A Sweet Song

Prompt 5 of Surprise from this list: "You got this for me?"

It was not common knowledge that Billy played the violin.

Read it here on AO3.

It was not common knowledge that Billy played the violin. “Not common knowledge” meaning there were only four people that knew: Max, Neil, Old Lady Garcia, and his music teacher from California, Ms. Petrov. Neil was never meant to find out, but after word of Billy’s first (and last) performance got out, Neil smashed his violin, along with his left hand. It wasn’t long after that when Neil caught Billy with a boy. Neil lost his shit, nearly beating Billy to death, then he packed up the whole family in less than a week and moved them to the boondocks.

It was now April, meaning it was nearly his birthday and also that it would be six months since he last touched a violin. The first few months without his violin were the hardest. Billy swore that he was going through withdrawal. His hands yearned for the violin, fingers itching to play. He longed to wrap his fingers around the neck, to slide his bow across the strings, and carefully finger out some Paganini. Billy would drive to the quarry and listen to his stash of classical music. One time he actually broke down because of it. His heart ached for his violin as he cried out in mourning.

Now that it’s been six months, he’s had time to adjust. He still gets that itch when his emotions are high, but Harrington helps quell his hunger. In fact, dating Harrington had been the best thing to happen to Billy in a long time. He was kind, caring, and provided the support that Billy desperately needed yet woefully lacked. He took care of Billy when he was hospitalized because of Neil (again) and was there for him when Neil lost custody and Hopper took him in. Billy was convinced that he loved Harrington, which is why he decided to add Harrington to the list of people that knew his secret.

It was a normal night, the Party gathering at the Wheeler’s for another Dungeons and Dragons campaign, when Billy said (out of nowhere), “You know, I used to play the violin.”

He and Steve had gone upstairs to grab more snacks, so they were alone in the kitchen. Steve was already attempting to balance two boxes of cookies and three bags of chips in his arms when he heard Billy. He started to clumsily juggle and drop the snacks while stuttering out a surprised “What? Are you serious?”

Billy chuckled at Steve’s shock. “Yeah, I am. I even performed at Royce Hall back in Cali once.”

“Bee, that’s amazing!” Steve exclaims as he crouches down to collect the snacks. “How come I’m just finding out about this now?”

“Well, only five people know about it, including you. And I felt that since we’ve been together long enough, you deserve to know everything about me, which means knowing that I play the violin,” Billy explains before quickly correcting himself with a, “Well, used to play.”

“You don’t anymore?” Steve asked.

“Nah. My old man made me stop when he found out.” Billy flexes the fingers of his left hand as he says this. “I played for nearly ten years in secret. I would tell my dad I had clubs after school, but instead, I would go to the music room and play.” He clenches his hand as he continues. “When Neil found out, he took a hammer to my violin, then to my hand to make sure I would stop.”

Steve sighed at the mention of Neil, making his way across the kitchen to take Billy’s hands in his. “Your dad is a dick and I hate everything he put you through.” He pushes a lock of hair out of Billy’s face and tilts up his chin so that they’re making eye contact. “I am so glad that you’re out of that situation and that you don’t ever have to deal with Neil again. I love you so much, okay?” Steve plants a kiss on Billy’s forehead for emphasis before Billy pulls Steve closer and practically smashes their lips together.

Billy smiles into the kiss, whispering out, “I love you, too,” before they’re interrupted by a familiar shrill voice that causes them to pull apart.

“Ugh! You guys are so gross !” Max says from the kitchen entryway. She was the only member of The Party that knew about Steve and Billy. Max made it a thing to point out how gross their PDA was, which she named DAFM (Displays of Affection in Front of Max).

“Yeah, shitbird? Well, you stink,” Billy quips.

“I do not, booger face!” Max retaliates.

“Carrot top!”

“Stupidhead!”

“Half-pint!”

“Shortstop!”

Billy gasps dramatically and feigns offense. “I am not short!”

Max rolls her eyes at that. “Tell that to every guy we know!”

“I’m literally taller than Jonathan,” Billy defends.

“That doesn’t count!”

Steve just sits back and laughs at the two siblings quarreling before intervening when the volume reaches near screaming level. “Alright, alright. Break it up, you two. You’re both shorter than me and that’s all that matters. Now can we head back downstairs?”

“Ugh. Fine, ” Billy and Max say in unison. Max makes her way downstairs as Billy and Steve gather the snacks.

Billy steals a kiss from Steve before they head down the stairs, Billy announcing his presence with a “‘Sup, fuckers? What’d we miss?”, earning him a smack to the arm from Steve. They settle into the couch, a comfortable distance apart, as the rest of The Party continues playing DND.

The next time Billy playing the violin is mentioned is during Billy’s birthday party. It’s a pretty lively event considering Billy had next to no one just months ago. But now he has a family and friends, all of which have gathered to celebrate him. Just thinking about it makes him smile.

Billy is about halfway through opening gifts when he comes across a rather large box. It’s covered in sheet music wrapping paper with a bow on top. Curiously, he shakes the box, causing Harrington to say “Careful! It’s fragile,” revealing that it’s from him.

Knowing the size of the box, the wrapping paper, and the person who gave the gift, it doesn’t take long for Billy to piece together what it is.

“No… no way,” Billy says while frantically tearing the wrapping paper off the box. That earns him a chorus of people asking what it is and a smile from Harrington. “I swear to god, Harrington, if this is a joke…”

Billy slides the case out of the box, unzipping it then opening it slowly. He stares for a few seconds, not fully comprehending what he’s seeing. Staring back at him is a brand new violin. The rest of The Party is eager to see the contents of the case, but all Billy can focus on is the instrument in front of him.

“You got this for me?” Billy asks, still not believing what he’s seeing. Steve nods in assent.

Before Steve can register what’s happening, he’s pulled into a bone-crushing hug from Billy to everyone’s surprise. The Party’s confusion only multiplies when they see that a violin is what caused Billy to hug Harrington. When Billy pulls away, he looks like he’s so happy that he might cry. Steve is sure that he almost does.

“Thank you so much, Steve. I- I don’t even know what to say.” Billy is stumbling over his words, so overcome with emotions. Back in October, he was so sure that he would never touch a violin again, but now that he’s free from Neil, he can do whatever he wants. And what he wants right now more than anything is to play.

Billy slowly takes the violin out of the case. He puts the shoulder rest on the instrument and rosins the bow a bit. Billy looks up nervously at Steve, silently asking for assurance. Steve smiles at him and gestures to the center of the rug as if to say “go ahead”. Billy can feel all eyes on him when he stands up. He doesn’t even know if his fingers healed properly, but he doesn’t really care. He just wants to play. So he gets up into position, takes a breath, closes his eyes, and starts playing.

The whole Party is in awe as they watch. It’s clear that Billy puts every emotion into how he plays. His fingers dance gracefully across the neck of the violin while his right arm moves the bow fluidly across the strings. His tone is practically perfect. An untrained ear wouldn’t be able to tell that he hadn’t played in over six months.

When Billy finishes, the whole room is silent before Joyce starts clapping. Then everyone joins in, Max leading a standing ovation. Billy blushes, embarrassed by the attention, but smiles at the praise, happy people enjoy him playing just as much as he does. When everyone finishes clapping, Billy is bombarded with questions and praises.

“Oh my god, that was amazing!”

“Since when did you start playing the violin?”

“What song was that?”

“How come you never told anyone?”

“I can’t believe that Billy Hargrove just played violin in my living room!”

Billy laughs out several “thank you”s as he puts the violin away in its case. “I started playing when I was seven,” Billy starts to explain. “The piece I just played is called ‘Violin Concerto No. 3 in B minor, Op. 61’ by Camille Saint-Saëns, and I never told anyone because of Neil.” The Party didn’t know the details of his situation with Neil, but gossip spreads quickly in a small town, so they knew Neil lost custody for some reason.

“Sweetheart, you played beautifully,” Joyce praised.

“You really did,” Lucas agrees, which surprises Billy.

“Could you play something else?” Dustin asks, exciting a chorus of agreements.

Billy doesn’t know if anyone besides Ms. Petrov has asked him to play. He’s still getting over the shock of it all. But he agrees. So he takes out his violin again. His violin. And he plays for The Party. He plays all night long, playing Bach to Beethoven, and even some rock songs. He plays until his out-of-practice fingers cramp. He plays because he’s happy. Billy feels fulfilled as ever with his friends and family around him, with Steve by his side, and with a violin in his hand.

#stranger things #stranger things fic #billy hargrove #steve harrington #max mayfield #harringrove #harringrove fic

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dp-marvel94 · 4 years ago

Text

The Mystery Shack Spooks - Part 4

For Holiday Truce 2020

Summary: Elle Fenton had hoped for a normal summer, a chance to make normal friends with people who know nothing about her crazy family, ghosts, or, most importantly, her status as a clone. But ghosts always seem to find her, even in Gravity Falls. Now the Mystery Shack is haunted by a unknown apparition with an unknown connection to Dipper and Mabel, and to Elle herself. The half ghost struggles to open up to her new friends and to find a way to help this lonely ghost.

Part 1 -> Part 2 -> Part 3 -> Part 4(Here) -> Part 5

Also on AO3 and fanfiction.net

Note:

Did I say this was going to be the last chapter? Ops....well I wrote what was supposed to be the last chapter and it ended up super long so I cut it in half. I'm posting the first part and once I edit the rest, I'll post the actual end in a few days.

Also, I really need a proper name for this story. So if anyone has any idea or suggestions, I'll take them. If anyone comes up with something that I ended up using, I'll be sure to credit them.

Finally, happy reading!

Her mind was anything but silent. Her brain swarmed with thoughts, throughout a quiet dinner and half-hearted attempt at board games (unsurprisingly the twins weren't enthusiastic after that sobering encounter). Long past the time she should be asleep, the half ghost found herself staring at the ceiling, her thoughts drifting. She sighed, her heart still clenching with guilt- over not telling Dipper and Mabel about Tyrone and about her status as a clone. But if she could find some way so that the twins could see and hear the other ghosts or if Tyrone would show up so they could brainstorm…..

With a huff, Elle sat up. She wasn’t going to get to sleep anytime soon, not like this, and she was getting sick of staring at the ceiling. Maybe she should go flying or sit on the roof for a bit. With barely a thought, she triggered her core to transform and floated off the bed. She flew through the roof, pausing as the light of the moon fell on her face. She let out a breath, sitting down on the ledge of the roof. The view really was beautiful; maybe she’d wait and watch the stars.

Some time passed as she looked at the sky and tried (and failed) to not worry about Tyrone. Then a creak sounded behind her. Elle turned, finding a familiar boy behind her. With the moonlight, he almost glowed ethereally; for a moment she thought he was-

“What are you doing up here?” He asked, voice without even a hint of echo.

Elle frowned. “ Dipper, it’s you.”

“Yeah, It’s me.” He looked at her strangely, repeating. “What are you doing up here?”

The girl blushed. “Oh, I was just...I was...thinking about our ghostly friend.”

“Oh…” His confused expression bled into something sad. “You’re trying to figure out who he is?”

Elle bit her lip, debating. She knew who the ghost was but she couldn’t exactly tell her friend; Tyrone had begged her not too. She sighed. “I’m thinking about how we can help him. If you and Mabel could see him...or if I could actually talk to him….”

“Oh yeah…” Dipper huffed, coming to sit beside her. “I barely thought about him today.” He looked down, guiltily.

“We'll figure something out.” Elle said half heartedly. “But anyway, what’s got you up?”

The boy sighed, studying a particular spot on the roof. He glanced at her cautiously. “Can I...can I tell you something?”

The half ghost blinked, startled by the question or really, by his attitude. He looked uncharacteristically upset. About the ghost haunting the Shack maybe? After a moment, she answered. “Yeah?”

“I keep thinking about… I keep thinking about….Tyrone.” He whispered.

Elle tilted her head, not expecting that. She was really, really not expecting that. It was like...it came from nowhere. But maybe he’d realized -

“You have?” She asked, part hopeful and part cautious.

Dipper nodded. “Since we told you about the copier and you said...what you said, that Tyrone was my clone but maybe not actually me….” Nervously, he picked at his nails. “That keeps...ringing in my head. I can’t stop thinking about it and about what happened to him and…” He trailed off.

“Oh” The girl bit her lip, suddenly guilty. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I brought that up.”

Dipper shook his head. “No, don’t be. You….you made me realize I miss him. I’ve missed him so much this year. But...I didn’t understand that that was what I was feeling or why. I mean….the two of us…we were so in sync, really the perfect team. We thought the same, like we were really the same person and….no one understood me like he did.” He looked down at the last part. “But….I kept replaying that idea, what you said, in my head and….” His voice quieted, turning pained. “I don’t…I don’t know how I didn’t see it then but…there was something different about him, compared to the others. And not just ‘cause Tyrone had a name but….the two of us actually talked and came up with the plan to dance with Wendy together. I didn’t really talk to the others, just told them what to do and they did it. And…” He laughed humorlessly. “Tyrone’s the one who got mad at me for not following our plan and the other clones just followed when he locked me in the closet.” He shook his head, a fond smile on his face. “The doofus left me snacks and a coloring book in there in case I got bored or hungry. And…Tyrone figured out how to escape the sprinklers.” He clenched his shaking fists, taking a deep breath. “There was…a light in his eyes, a spark that just wasn’t in the others. And I…how didn’t I see it?”

The girl startled at the words, the honesty. She reached out to comfort. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s just.” He ripped his arm away. “For the past…for the past year, I told myself that he wasn’t real. That missing him was ridiculous and narcissistic and the only reason I did was because I didn’t have any friends other than my sister. But….” His voice broke. “He was real, wasn’t he? Tyrone was a real, actual person. And…he’s not melted, he’s dead. He’s dead. And it’s my fault because I made him in the first place. And I gave him that freaking pit cola and just watched it happen. I’m the only one who even knew him and I haven’t even mourned, because I thought he didn’t deserve it because he wasn’t real.”

Dipper wrapped his arms around his knees. To Elle’s surprise, he’d started crying at some point. The girl shifted slightly, before tentatively putting one arm around him. Her heart ached as she let him cry. But she said nothing, too stunned to force any words out. She had...she had no idea he actually listened and thought about her words. But he had. Dipper had taken them to heart and now he was mourning and… He knew Tyrone was someone, a real person. Her heart skipped a beating, remembering the ghostly clone’s broken words. Just a copy. What will they think of me? What would they think…. Well, Elle didn’t know about Mabel but Dipper….Dipper saw his personhood, his potential. Her eyes widened; she had to tell-

The boy started talking, cutting off her thoughts. He sniffled. “But yeah, sorry to dump that on you. It’s not your fault but…I keep thinking about him, especially since...earlier...I thought I saw...”

Elle gasped, just managing to squeak out. “You saw...?”

Dipper swallowed. “I think...I think...I..I had this dream where Tyrone was floating over my bed. He was crying and….” His voice choked. “He begged me to see him and talk to him. And I could see him but….I was frozen. I couldn’t move, couldn’t talk. Then I woke up and I remembered that it happened a year ago.”

“It…? A year ago?” The half ghost would blush at her parroting if she wasn’t busy freaking out.

“A year ago.” The boy nodded. “ I used...I used that freaking copier and somehow it made Tyrone.” A sickly smile covered his face. “He’d be a year old now if….” His expression flipped, turning into a hateful sneer. “If I hadn’t killed him a f-cking can of Pit Soda. Instead he’s dead so yeah, happy DeathDay Tyrone.”

With that, the boy roughly pulled away from her and tightly clenched his fists. He looked like he wanted to scream or hit something, his shoulders tense with self-directed anger. Beside him, Elle was frozen, her mind short circuiting. Tyrone…how…why…could he really…did he really…. Her blood ran cold. Dipper actually saw him earlier. She had no idea how, when he hadn’t been able to last night. But he must have; there was no other way. But he thought it was a dream, a fantasy or a nightmare conjured by his unconscious mind. He hadn’t realized it was real, meaning….

Her core flickered with her anxiety, ice flowing through her veins.

Dipper shivered. “It’s cold. Elle, is that you? Or is our ghost friend here?”

No, their ghost friend, Dipper’s clone, Tyrone was not here. Because he was downstairs thinking that Dipper just saw him as a copy, not worth mourning. But…

“Elle?” The boy ventured.

Cold pulsed from the half ghost’s core as her mind continued to race. She had...She had to tell him, to tell Dipper that Tyrone wasn’t gone. He wasn’t...well he was still dead but he was still here. The two of them still had a chance. But...she bit her lip. She’d told Tyrone she wouldn’t; she couldn’t break his trust now. But….with all she’d told Dipper, with how Dipper just poured out his heart, how can she remain silent about this? But...she promised the other ghost. The girl felt torn in two directions by the choice.

“I need to find him.” She suddenly spat out.

“Who?” Dipper blinked at her.

Elle ignored as ice crept across the roof tiles. She ran fingers through her hair. “We need to talk. Maybe...maybe...I can convince him and We’ll-”

The other teen cut her off. “Elle?! What are you talking about?”

Her mouth snapped shut as she blushed in embarrassment and shame. “I...I’m sorry. The...the Shack’s ghost...I...I promised him...I can’t tell you.”

Dipper glared, open mouthed. “But-”

Elle didn’t hear the rest of his plea as she flickered invisible and phased through the roof.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moments later, Elle phased through the roof of her room. "Tyrone!" She called, hopefully. He had to be here. "Tyrone!" The half ghost tried again, to silence. "Please, we need to talk. I think...I think Dipper saw you tonight but he thinks it was a dream. If we just...if I just tell him, then-"

Tyrone's sudden appearance cut off her words. His eyes were wide, brow wrinkled with shock and worry.

Elle sighed in relief anyway. "You're here! I was worried." She shook her head. "Anyway. I need to tell Dipper about you."

The ghostly clone's eyes widen even more. He wavered backwards, waving his hands. No. For once, the static was clear.

"Please Ty. I can't… I can't keep lying to Dipper and Mabel. Plus …." Her pleading tone shifted into something more hopeful. "He told me some things today. And….he'd be so happy to know you're here."

Tyrone looked doubtful. His mouth opened to argue but then, the door burst open.

Gasping, the half ghost jumped back as Dipper barged in.

“Elle!” He exclaimed. “What are you-” The boy cut himself off, eyes widening.

The girl’s brow wrinkled for a moment in confusion; he’d probably come down here to figure out why she ran off so why-

“I must be dreaming.” Dipper muttered, voice shaking. “There’s no way. This isn’t...it’s not...it’s not real.” He furiously shook his head. “No. He’s...he’s not…”

The half ghost felt her heart stop, her blood run cold. Slowly her eyes drifted from the living boy in front of the door and to his ghostly double.

Tyrone’s jaw dropped in shock. He wavered forward in the air, eyes pinned in the other boy. A long moment later, his voice warbled with static.

“No. You’re not...you’re not here.” Dipper choked. “I..I killed you.”

The living boy was shaking, looking like he would collapse or flee from the room. All the while, he stared at the misty form of his ghostly clone. More static cracked as the ghost boy tried to speak again, reaching forward.

Dipper pinched his eyes closed. “I’m just dreaming...You’re not real.”

With that Elle’s mind finally caught up. “No Dipper, he’s here…” She swallowed. “I can see him too.”

The human boy’s head whipped up. With wide eyes, he whispered. “What?”

“I can see him too. He’s real.” The half ghost said, pleadingly.

“He’s….?” Dipper’s breath caught in his throat, hope leaking into his voice. With shakingly legs, he stumbled towards the other boy.

At the same time, the ghost boy floated forward again, tentatively. He stopped, only a foot away so the two were eye to eye. It was strangely similar to last night, except…..this time Dipper’s eyes knowingly fell on the figure in front of him.

“Tyrone?” He asked, his voice quivering with a dozen emotions but paramount was hope.

The other boy nodded, slowly cracking a smile. Hey, Dipper.

“Tyrone. You’re...you’re here. You’re real.” The boy sounded like he could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth.

The ghost boy nodded eagerly. “Yes...I’m here.”

That seemed to encourage Dipper. “You’re here. You’re actually here! I…” His eyes started watering with joy. “I missed you so much. I-”

He moved to wrap his arms around the other boy but his arms passed right through the insubstantial figure. Dipper shivered and tried again, brow furrowing. A third time gave the same result, making the living boy’s lip quiver. “Why can’t...why can’t I touch you?”

Tyrone whimpered, a grieved muttering exiting his mouth as he tried to return the hug.

Dipper stopped, rapidly stepping back. “I can’t….I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

The ghostly clone tried again but his words just sounded as a cacophony of desperate static.

The living boy’s eyes widened and he started tearing up. “Tyrone. I don’t know what you’re saying.”

Distressingly, the statement just seemed to make the ghost boy more upset. Tyrone reached forward, hand again going through Dipper’s. His lip trembled.

The other boy sniffled. “I...I’m sorry.” His eyes trailed down the semi-translucent body. “I can’t touch you or understand you or….” A tear fell down Dipper’s face “I still don’t know how to help you….”

Dipper trailed off, shoulders starting to shake. Again, Tyrone reached forward but paused before actually reaching for the other boy’s hand. He swallowed, a look of concentration covering his face. The color of his hand shifted, the limb losing some of its transparency. Then he took Dipper’s hand in his.

The living boy’s eyes widened. “I can...I can feel that.” He sounded awed.

The ghost nodded, pinching his eyes closed. “We’ll figure this out….together.”

Something in the statement bolstered the other boy. He half-smiled, despite his still watering eyes. “Yeah. Together.”

There was a pause. Then the ghost asked. “You….you missed me?”

Dipper nodded. “Yeah.” He whipped his wet face with his free hand. “I missed you so much, man.”

Tyrone squeezed the hand he was holding. “I missed you too.”

“You did?” The other boy said, part disbelieving and part hopeful.

The ghost nodded enthusiastically.

Dipper swallowed. “I’m sorry...I’m sorry about everything that happened. For using you and the others like that, for….melting you. For…” He took a deep breath. “For not seeing that you were real, back then.”

The ghost’s image flickered, his hand falling through Dipper’s as his mouth fell open. After a long moment, he shook his head and said something that was lost in static.

The corner of the other boy’s mouth twitched down at his lack of understanding.

Then Tyrone tried to speak again, his brow furrowed in concentration. “Real?”

“Yes. Of course, you’re real.” Dipper frowned, looking down. “Maybe if I’d understood that then, you’d still be here in the flesh.” He bit his lip. “Or whatever you call enchanted paper and ink.”

The ghostly clone's eyes remained wide, taking in what the other boy had said for a long while. Eventually his shock faded into a soft hope, his gaze kind. “But...we have another chance now, right?”

Dipper looked up. Slowly, the corner of his lip turned up. “Yeah. I guess we do.”

The ghost’s staticy voice buzzed in agreement. There was a silence for a while as the two boys just looked at each other. Not staring at each other in shock or disbelief. Not with judgement or scorn. But with soft happiness and wonder. Pure joy at being reunited shined in the pair’s tear-filled eyes. The two stepped forward in sync, Dipper’s arms wrapping around the cold mist of Tyrone’s chest and the ghost’s insubstantial arms returning the favor. It wasn’t quite a hug but a close approximation. As close as the living boy and his double could get when Tyrone remained unable to become fully solid and Dipper couldn’t turn intangible.

“I can still barely believe this is happening.” Dipper was saying softly. “So much has happened since...you know. I should probably tell you about it… if you want.”

The ghost boy nodded eagerly, muttering something in static.

Meanwhile, Elle shuffled awkwardly as she watched the tender scene. She bit her lip. A large part of her was overjoyed to see Dipper and Tyrone reunited but at the same time…it felt like she was spying on something intimate. This moment belonged to the two boys in front of her, for them to reconnect as best they could and to figure out who and what they were to each other.

She averted her eyes and coughed softly. “Uhh...sorry to interrupt. I’m gonna…” She jabbed her thumb towards the door.

Both boys turned to look at her. Dipper’s eyes widened as he stepped out of the semi-hug. “Oh….we’re in your room. We can uh….” He glanced at Tyrone. “We can go somewhere else to talk. Maybe the roof?”

The ghostly clone shrugged, mouthing. ‘Sure’. He floated up, pointing to himself and then towards the ceiling. He then pointed at Dipper and to the door.

The other boy nodded in understanding. “I can meet you up there.” Then he bit his lip nervously, looking between Tyrone and the door.

The ghost frowned, his lips moving to form the question. ‘What?”

His original blushed. “I...I’m kinda scared to let you out of my sight. Like...you’ll disappear again….”

Tyrone’s face softened. He floated back down. With some concentration, he grabbed Dipper’s wrists and started leading him towards the door.

“Hey. What are you...?” The living boy asked. “Oh...we’ll go together.”

The clone nodded. Then he paused in front of Elle. His lips turned up into a bright smile. ‘Thank you.’ He mouthed, his eyes shining such incredible gratitude.

“Yeah, thank you.” Dipper nodded, agreeing. “I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t been here.” His shoulders rose somewhat sheepishly.

The half ghost gave him a comforting smile. “No problem. Of course I’d be here and...I’m really happy you guys found each other.”

Both boys nodded. Then Dipper opened the door. Cautiously, he poked his head out and looked both ways down the hallway. He looked back at his ghostly double and waved him forward. “Come on Ty.”

Elle watched the two walk and float down the hall, towards the stairs to the attic. Soon, the pair were out of sight and the girl closed the door.

With a sigh, the halfa returned to human form and sat down on her bed. Elle smiled. She meant what she said; she was ecstatic to see Dipper and Tyrone reunited, though she hadn’t imagined it going like that. None of the scenarios that had crossed her mind featured Dipper barging in. Granted…. after running off on him, the half ghost really shouldn’t have been surprised that he came after her. But Dipper had. He’d barged in, saw Tyrone, and the two- original and clone- had been tearfully reunited.

Speaking of original….the girl reached for her phone, smiling as her lockscreen picture of her, Danny, and Jazz popped up. She suddenly wanted to talk to her brother, to tell him about everything that happened. But...it was pretty late and with the different time zone, it was even later in Amity. But then again knowing Danny, there was a large chance he was still awake playing Doomed.

Without anymore debate, Elle dialed his number. On the third ring, her brother picked up.

“Hello?” He asked, sleepily.

“Hey Danny. It’s Elle. Did I wake you up?” She blushed, suddenly guilty.

“Nah. Just logged off Doomed.” He yawned. “Wait...Elle?” Worry entered his voice, making him sound more awake. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I just wanted to talk to you.” She bit her lip. “Sorry. I should’ve just waited ‘til the morning.”

“It’s fine.” He said sincerely. “Just tell me what you’re thinking.”

Elle sighed. “So….I found out who the Shack’s ghost is and he’s Dipper’s clone, Tyrone.”

There was a pause. “What?” Danny asked with mild confusion.

“The ghost that’s been haunting the Mystery Shack is Tyrone. I actually saw his face this morning and talked to him.”

“Well, that’s unexpected.” The boy said, shock on his voice.

“Yeah. I can barely believe it but it’s really him. Oh and Dipper found out literally ten minutes ago; he barged in and saw Tyrone when the two of us were talking.”

"Oh, wow …..how did both of them take it?"

Elle smiled. "Really good. They went up to the roof to talk. I think you both really missed each other."

"I can imagine." Danny said knowingly. "They must be really happy to see each other." Then his voice turned sober. "And Dipper saw him die, didn't he? Losing Tyrone like that must have been horrible."The boy swallowed and Elle could imagine his pained frown. But then his tone became something more hopeful. "But finding out that he's not gone, finally getting him back. Dipper must be so happy."

"He is." The corner of her mouth turned up. "And I guess we both understand that."

"Yeah." Again, Danny sounded so certain, so knowing. And Elle understood it completely. How could she not when she and Danny had come so close to being in the same situation?

The half ghost girl remembered the older boy's face as her body fell apart, as she destabilized. She'd been terrified but at the same time hopeful as he dashed in with a solution. But then it hadn't worked. She watched as devastation overtook his features as he pleaded for her to hang on. She'd tried, equally devastated, equally desperate not to die.

She'd blacked out, an unseeing, unfeeling, unknowing puddle. For a moment, it was like she was gone, like she didn’t exist at all. And then suddenly she was back. She had eyes again. She had a head, hands, feet, a body. For a long moment, she blinked slowly realizing she still existed.

Then her eyes had fallen on Danny, her original, her cousin, her brother. She hadn't dared to even consider that yet. She'd barely been able to think he might see her as anything more than a copy, that he might even love her. But Danny was on his knees, his eyes fixed down. He was crying, muttering apologizes through his sobs.

Elle had floated from the floor. She'd quipped something stupid in a effort to cover how freaked out as she disbelieving shock turned into relieved happiness. She'd back flipped in her elation, her eyes falling on the older half ghost as he whipped around. And-

"You were really happy at Vlad's when I...uhh.. when you saved me with that ecto dejecto."

His eyes had shone with relief as he rushed forward to embrace her. He’d squeezed her in his arms, holding her tight like she was precious. Together, they'd shared a moment of pure joy, relief, and love.

Across the line, the boy swallowed. "Of course I was happy. I thought I'd lost you, El."

"But you didn't." The girl said softly. "It turned out okay."

"Yeah, it did." Something in Elle's tone seemed to bolster the other halfa. "Man...we've both really come a long way since then, huhh?"

“We have.” The girl nodded, remembering her conversation with the twins this afternoon about what she and Danny had been through. “You told our parents about your powers. I started going to school.” She chuckled, then her voice turned more serious. “And I actually have a home and family now. I’ve got Mom and Dad and Jazz and...You. You know... you’re a good big brother.”

“Aw, Elle?” The boy’s voice ticked up teasingly. “Are you getting all mushy on me?”

The other half ghost gasped. “I’m being serious! I was gonna say, you’re a really supportive and understanding big bro. And thank you for encouraging me to talk to Dipper and Mabel.” She crossed her arms, only somewhat mock offended. “But I guess that’s too mushy for you.”

There was a pause as the boy took in the words. When he finally spoke, there was no teasing in his voice but sincerity. “No, sis. It’s...it’s not too mushy. It’s...sweet, I guess.” Elle could hear the smile in his voice. “And you’re a good sister too. I’m really happy to have you in my life.”

“Oh. Thanks Danny.” The girl blushed at the compliment.

The older boy chuckled. “See, I can be mushy too.” Then his tone sobered somewhat. “So you talked to your friends?”

“Yeah, I did. Earlier today actually, before Dipper found out about Tyrone. I told him and Mabel about me being half ghost.” She smiled. “They took it really well.”

“They did?” Danny sounded happy and relieved. “That’s great, Elle.”

“Yeah. We had a snowball fight and everything after I showed off my ice powers.” She chuckled. “I felt a lot better after telling them everything.” Elle frowned, realizing what she said. "Well...almost everything."

"Oh?" Danny asked, wordlessly prompting her to continue.

"I...uhh….haven't actually told them I'm a clone yet."

"You haven't?"

The younger half ghost shook her head. "No but….I think I'll tell them in the morning."

"Really? Why now?"

"Just….some of the stuff Dipper said about Tyrone and how he reacted to seeing him again." She swallowed. "You and Jazz were right; they're not gonna think any less of me if they know the whole truth."

“Wow….I'm proud of you. And good luck with that. I'm sure it'll be great."

"Thanks Danny." She smiled.

"No problem." The boy sighed. “Man, a lot’s happened since we talked yesterday.”

“Yep. I told Dipper and Mabel that the Shack was haunted. I tried to introduce them to Tyrone when he showed up yesterday...I mean, I didn’t know it was him last night….. But the twins couldn’t see him.”

“Wait…” Danny cut in. “You said that Dipper saw him, like literally could see Tyrone earlier tonight.”

“Yeah I….did.” Elle’s eyes widened. “You’re totally right, I did say that.” She put a hand on her forehead. “I hadn’t even realized. Dipper literally couldn’t see him at all yesterday but now he can. So how does that work?” She started rambling. “Wait...I couldn’t really see him yesterday either. He just kinda looked like a shadow or a cloud. So why could I suddenly see him this morning? I mean...yeah, I worked out Ty’s name so maybe that’s why….but Dipper didn’t have a clue. He just barged in the room unannounced.” At some point, the girl had flopped back down onto the bed. She huffed, contemplatively.

Across the line, Danny hummed in thought. “Well, what changed?”

“What changed?” The other half ghost muttered quietly. What changed? Well, yes, she and Dipper had talked about Tyrone but as far as she could tell, Dipper’s opinion hadn’t actually changed. And somehow the boy had seen the ghostly clone earlier when he was half asleep. But….

Elle’s brow furrowed, remembering something Dipper had said earlier. “It’s been a year...” She muttered.

“What?” Her brother questioned.

Her eyes widened, realizing the older teen was still listening. “Dipper told me earlier that it's been a year since Tyrone...well...died.”

“And traditional ghosts tend to be stronger on the anniversary of their death. Don’t they?” The boy asked.

Elle nodded. “Right. And that’s probably why he’s visible and not just to me. But still...” She sighed, remembering Dipper’s reaction to being unable to touch and understand Tyrone. “Tyrone’s still stuck intangible and almost everything he says comes out as static. I wish I could figure out how to help him.”

Again, her brother hummed in thought. “Huh…. What if you got him some ectoplasm?”

Elle suddenly sat up, hitting her forehead with her palm. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?” She stood up and grabbed for one of her bags. “I have ectoplasm. My supplements.” The girl frowned. “Letting him have a few should be okay, right?”

“I think so...it’s not like ectoplasm can hurt a ghost. And if I know Mom, she packeted you like half a year's worth. You should have plenty.” Humor rang in his voice. “And I won’t tell Mom and Dad if you won’t.”

“Yeah, I won’t.” Elle laughed. “I’ll tell Tyrone and Dipper about that idea in the morning and see what they think.”

“And let me know how it goes, okay?”

The girl nodded. “Yeah, of course.” She yawned. “We should both get some sleep though. Talk to you later.”

“Yeah, Love you sis.”

Elle sighed. “Love you bro.” She smiled. “Good night.”

“Night.” With that Danny hung up.

The half ghost girl put her phone away and went to sleep.

#Danny Phantom #gravity falls #CrossOver #dani phantom #elle phantom #elle fenton #dipper pines #mabel pines #tyrone pines #clone angst #holiday truce #holiday truce 2020 #dp holiday truce #My fic

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