#I don't want to subscribe to a game or anything I just wanna buy it (and it should work without needing to download half the damn thing!)

[canadianlucifer]

Hot take but if I buy something I think I should own it :/

[evilnadianova]

how much $ did u get from sales from malmaid & other VNs on itch/steam? i wanna upload my VNs on itch/steam but 1. idk how much i wanna price it (like... yeah its free but for the pwyw slot for itch) & 2. (for steam) idk if the 100$ steam price for Uploading is worth it/if ppl will like/buy it (am insecure/nervy #girl :'3) .. i luvv ur work n i love seeing ur works it Makes me v happy thank you!!!!

disclaimer everything here is my opinion and perspective from me in this current moment of my life so just take everything with a grain of salt and preferably look for others perspectives to compare to. ultimately its something everyone kinda have to figure out on their own and do what works for them..

but that being said theresa lot of things to say here so ill just start with like... every dev i see says that if you're gonna sell your game put it on steam. i keep hearing numbers throw around like 90% of sells come from steam and 10% from itch io for devs that sell (commercial projects) on both. you still need following etc to promote the wishlists since that is what boosts your game after the initial release on steam or something like that?

if you have a free game put it on itch io. its free just do it might as well. being shy and insecure about what you make is fine but keep in mind that people arent after some perfect flawless projects and making those is impossible

just make what you can and share it, the right people just need to find them

still itchio is nice that its free but the userbase is also 50% people on their mobile searching for strictly free android games to jerk off or horror game with red background because popular streamer #453425 played it. the site culture is different from steamw which some people treat as if games don't count as real unless they're on steam.

from my perspective paying $100 to put a game on steam is 'cheap'. even if you just consider it an ad fee for however much traffic steam algorithm blesses you with, its kind of a good deal if you think about the unhinged amounts you'd have to pay on twitter or facebook or whatever the hell people use to actually promote the game to same amount of eyes.. if you're doing free games its less of a incentive but if you're trying to do business and make money for rent 100(and whatever fees steam and taxes will eat from your earnings) is a very low price of doing business. i see people complain about steam cuts and steam fees but as someone who used to be an online sexworker there was literally popular sites AND STILL ARE that take like 50% cut directly so steam isn't bad when compared to that (also steam gives you the 100 back after you make 1000, which i reasonable believe i could reach if i put a paid game on steam)

also did you know you can set itch ios marketplace cut to 0% if you want with no repercussions. you can do that if you want. do it.

i think if you have rent to pay you should get into the habit of asking for something. artists love supporting other artists and outside of that the people who have money will gladly support someone whose work they like. there's really no concrete numbers to give for pricing projects. just ask anything. tho know that asking for 1 dollar is pretty much the same as asking for like 5 tho. if people are ready to pay they generally don't care if its in that range so i think everyone's happy if its 5 when payment processors get to swipe a smaller percentage of the fees from the transaction

maybe something like just ask for something nad once you make more projects keep rising it. its better to have an empty patreon with 0 subscribers than no patreon at all. my games used to be 0€ to download and 6.66€ pay what you want and people kept paying that. then i raised the suggestion to 15€ just to try it out and i was surprised to see the amount of donations didn't go down. bonus artbooks are a good incentive. its nice to share something special for those who want to donate and its nice for them to get something out of it since a huge portion of these people might have just given that same donation money expecting nothin in return

its taken a few months but malmaid has now made like 800 dollars on itch io which is like wow holy shit but it kinda stops being as exciting when i think about how it took me 6 months to make it and that would be like one month of rent. still ultimately the fact that its a free game and everyone just decided to donate anyway is kinda absurd and it makes me infinitely grateful

i do know that if i had priced it with a set price the amount would be a lot more (this is even more evident from my 4€ comic projects that i keep putting on sale constantly for even cheaper are still by far the most earning projects I've ever put on itchio) id argue people are more likely to take a project seriously and engage with it if it cost money. free games you can just dl and forget about it if you want.. but having a price next to the download button makes things seem more legitimate because money has worth

i also get pay-per-project patreon money. tho patreon hates that mode and will be deleting in like a year or so instead of having stupid monthly payments. idk what ill do then i might delete patreon at that point will see

but on the matter of if these numbers really are a useful metric to share is debatable. hopeless junction made like $1000(ignoring the vncup 2 award) since i released it year ago and this and malmaid are two of my most popular games like that. i think i made 300-400 during the first few release months back then. I've been posting stuff on itch io for FREE for a decade soon and its an accumulation of all my visibility from over the years. itch io also favorites nsfw games with their tag traffic so its an environment that works for me

if i had started asking for money and packaging my things in a more commercial form i would be making a lot more with it i think and the people who followed me would already be accustomed to that. its just that for now ive valued people being able to play my things for free and my situation has allowed for it

everyone hates marketing but ultimately its about making the thing you made look good and be seen by others. a nice custom theme on an itch io page is more likely to get someone to stay than a game with blank profile no screenshots.

its important to make the thing you made look presentable and that's just finding your own voice by looking at how others do these things

the coolest story in the world isnt gonna sell if it doesn't have a nice cover if nobody knows that story exists.. but if people like the story they're more likely to stick around for future stuff and spread the word.. i think that matters more than what amount of money is being asked for a game as there are popular cheap games just as there are popular expensive games

idk. if theres more specific questsions ask again its a very broad thing

[taviacoolcat]

3, 24, 29 for the aftg ask game :)

questions from this ask game!

3. A Hot Take

i have. too many. but for now i will talk about a harmless one that i don't think i have mentioned before: I Don't Subscribe To The Neil Hates Sweets Agenda. LEMME EXPLAIN ✋️

A. neil says, "i don't like sweets," this is true, but i think the situation he's in and who he's talking to should be taken into account here. he's at a mandatory therapy session that he doesn't want to be at, being offered hot chocolate from said therapist whom he doesn't like, and then proceeds to lie straight to her face for the rest of their conversation. so why can't he be lying about not liking sweets as well? using it as a way to reject her and not take anything from her? 🤨

B. NEIL CONSUMES OTHER SWEET THINGS IN THE SERIES!! firstly, neil, my soda enjoyer; he exclusively drinks soda at eden's and in the first eden's trip in tfc he mentions drinking it more before joining the exy team in millport or something like that BUT HE LIKES IT! secondly, he literally buys and eats ice cream on page. of course, some fans have theorized it being vanilla or sherbet or something, but THAT'S STILL ICE CREAM BABEY! and my third point is admittedly me reaching, but he LOVES fruit, nature's sweets!!

to conclude this i just wanna say i obviously don't think neil enjoys sweets to the degree that andrew does, i just have never understood why people made this a pillar of his personality 😭 all i'm saying is let my man eat a piece of chocolate and not cringe at one tiny bite plssss (also tangentially, even if you don't think he likes sweets that does NOT make him a health nut...he hates vegetables like he's a 5 yr old lmfao)

24. Underrated Character

i said katelyn in the previous ask so hmmm i'll say bobby blackwell!! she seems like such a sweetie! i love when she makes a heart to jeremy with her hands...i think everyone should be doing that, she's so real🫶 and i hope her relationship with diego the mascot lasts forever!

29. Favorite Reoccuring Detail

neil doodling fox paws 🐾🦊 i love my doodler representation and the fox paws are so cute

[condorclaw]

Grian has the worst time of his life over Monopoly (ft. Jimmy, Grian, Joel, and Gem)

- Jimmy hit 300k subscribers before the game began! His chat had no mercy on him however and said he was going to lose again when Jimmy claimed he was the best at Monopoly

- Grian is about 15 minutes late to the stream once more because he decided to pair socks. He apparently even sent an image to everyone ("He's gone upstairs and literally emptied the sock drawer on the bed to show us.")

- Grian’s screen is blurred, and despite all his attempts, it remains blurry for the rest of the game ("I'll just take my glasses off, it'll feel natural!")

- Throughout the stream, the monopoly money is referred to as “monopolls”. This name is switched on and off at random

- "That makes you look like an idiot, not a nerd. A nerd knows stuff."

- "Let's start a trend." "What about the trend of you losing every game you play?"

- Grian makes it incredibly clear at every given moment that he does not want to be here.

- "I'm angry and it's only the beginning." "It's the socks." "At least you're not in bloody jail!"

- "All I've done is pay rent to Joel, and look, I'm now going to pay rent to someone else.”

- "It's a good thing you're not in Last Life anymore." "You killed me!"

- "I will give all my properties for one dollerydoo so I can leave this game."

- "How do I leave?" "I've been asking that for the last several minutes."

- "You got $10, how do you feel?" "Like I wanna leave."

- "How does Grian have $1000?" "Because I haven't been able to buy anything!"

- "Grian, how do you feel?" "Let me out."

- "Jimmy if you think anyone is teaming with you after this, you have another thing coming."

- "Is there any trades you want from me, Grian?" "I want to leave this game."

- "You know the Arthur meme? Like the fist? That's me."

- *completely monotone* "I would've gone to the ends of the earth."

- "It hurts my soul every time Grian lands on something he has to pay for." "I feel like at this point, he's devoid of all emotion."

- "Grian, did that make you happy?" "Yeah, I still wanna leave."

- "This is the start of my villain arc."

- Gem and Joel begin threatening each other in Empires when they’re the only two left. ("I'm turning into a villain on empires, Joel, I'm burning down your megabase.")

- "This is like being poisoned." "Except not as fun."

- Grian, Joel, and Gem all made a pact before the start of the game to make Jimmy lose.

- "Why is this auction in silence? Yell at each other!" "One's Canadian and one doesn't care."

- "Do not give him that train station." "I won't." "Jimmy, I'll give you my brown and some money for the train." "Deal."

- Jimmy forgot to put the money he wanted in for a deal and got scammed for a lot, much to the delight of everyone else. ("Don't you dare put houses on your property with the money that's supposed to be mine!")

- Grian owes Jimmy money at one point, and he combats it by giving all his properties to Joel in exchange for a dollar. He then proceeds to give all his money to Gem in exchange for a dollar. He gives the remaining dollar to Jimmy, and files for bankruptcy.

- Joel insists on flaunting his wealth as much as possible

- “Damn it feels good to be rich.”

- "Oh no, hope I don't land on those horrible reds. Just kidding, I own those."

- "Watch me land on Community Chest. Oh, it's my train station." "Shut up, Joel!"

- "Hi chat, I'm losing. Did you think I was gonna win?"

- Joel placed 1st, Gem placed 2nd, Jimmy placed 3rd, and David placed 4th!

[cutest-big-dragon]

Friendly reminder to content creators that if your subscription to view count is low, or viewer retention is poor, you don't need to beg people to subscribe or finish the video. But first, let's talk about reasons: 1. You're making references only a specific community will understand, that isn't even related to any of your previous videos. (ahem all of the jojo references I have to sit through in a video about tf2, despite never having watched jojo, or really cared about it in general) 2. You say things that might seem fine to you, but may insult your audience. (I can't tell you how many youtubers just call people slurs ON VIDEO, like, I remember having to click "don't recommend channel videos" because they won't stop insulting groups of people) 3. You're trying too hard to get something out of it. Max ads, in-video sponsors, constant begging to buy merch, support patreon, subscribe, like, and suck your dick after we buy you a coffee. Personal note: Nobody likes being BEGGED to give you money. If you're homeless? Its another thing, but like, 90% of youtubers are sitting in a studio apartment being like "please if you don't like or subscribe I have to work a job like most people" or "if you don't subscribe I can't buy bread". Maybe yt isn't the career for you then? People subscribe to things they like, and want to watch or hear about, people will sub if they want to, and if they don't, don't pressure them? Especially with the guilt tripping I see 24/7. 4. You have no passion about the things you talk about. (pretty self-explanatory) 5. Unnecessary politics, religion, controversial things. Activism is a great thing, but I'm just gonna skip over most sections where a dude compares a game to how "liberals, republicans, communists, capitalists, are destroying the country" or whatever. I just want to watch a dude play a game, it's my coping mechanism. It's where I sometimes go to avoid all of these things. Please make a separate video for it, especially cause you can go more in-depth there, and I would probably be interested anyways! Just not if I'm already having a mental breakdown about the world's problems.

6. Blatant clickbait (the obvious one) You don't need to make the title "Best country in the world" and then spend 90% of the video giving filler. You got a random idea you wanna share? Post it in a non-video format, if it's too short to be a real video. You don't need sexualized depictions of characters in the thumbnail, you don't need to do anything like that. (a good example of not needing to do that is Daily Dose of Internet, where rarely do their videos not cover what was in the thumbnail/title) There are real, interesting things out there! If you just wanna make a gameplay video? Name it so! I'd be much more interested in watching something titled "TF2 Heavy Gameplay, with commentary" than something like "BRASS BEAST IS BROKEN??? (GLITCH)" My point with all of this is VIDEOS ARE AN ART FORM, THAT IS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED. ART CAN BE A CAREER, BUT ONLY IF YOUR ART IS WORTH LOOKING AT. OTHER THAN THAT, PLEASE MAKE VIDEOS WITH LOVE, NOT GREED, OR FAME BEING YOUR ONLY OBJECTIVE. Btw if you read this, thank you. It means a lot <3

Oh and finally, take what I say with a grain of salt, you don't have to do any of it, I just, as a content consumer(?) would enjoy it. The youtubers I sub to are the ones who don't ask.

[sugurus-slxt]

Hello love! I have an emergency request if you have the time. May I request hc of Bokuto, Tendou and Kenma comforting their s/o after their cat suddenly passed away? I'm struggling to cope and in need of some comfort. If this request makes you uncomfortable or you don't have time, it's okay to ignore it!! Thank you in advance if you write it and have a great day or night!

Comforting Their S/O when their Pet Dies

A/Note: I’m really sorry about your cat, may they rest in peace. I hope this makes you feel better. I’ve never written comfort for death but I hope this is alright. I kind of tried to make it for pets in general f that’s ok but Kenma’s is specifically for a cat. I hope you have a great night or day as well. My condolences, Love <3 ~ Sar-chan.

Warning: Mentions of death and use of the word pussy (once)

Bokuto Kōtarō

Bokuto has you in his arms in a heartbeat once he’s near. If he is far he runs all the way to you because he knows you need the comfort.

He’d hold you on his lap letting you bury your face in his chest, while he strokes your and rubs comforting circles on your back.

Bokuto doesn’t mind if you stain his shirt with tears, he’ll let you cry but he might start crying too. His hair will deflate seeing you liked this, also because he adored your pet.

I’m sorry but I honestly think Bokuto is the type to accidentally say, “We’ll get you a new one.” If he sees you tear up more he’ll constantly apologise over and over.

Bokuto does have a good read of people and is very perceptive but I think he might call Akaashi to figure out how to help. Because it’s not that he doesn’t know he’s just torn between opting to distract you but he doesn’t want you to feel invalidated or letting you continuously wallow, considering it might help you release it all.

He is constantly reassuring you and telling you comforting things. He opts for a mixed idea because he does want you to release your emotions. Bokuto thinks it’s better that you do not bottle it up. But he doesn’t want you to keep crying because he hates seeing you like this.

----

“Baby?” he’d quietly call you to look up at him. “Hmmm,” you hummed in response, and he’d capture your chin tilting your head to look up at him. Bokuto wipes the tears from your eyes with his thumb and places a kiss on your forehead, “I know this is hard on you and I’m sorry about what I said earlier baby. I know they were irreplaceable and super special, I wasn’t thinking,” he apologised, his regret viable in his eyes. “I- it’s ok Bo. I- I k- know you didn’t mean it,” you tried to reassure him breaths shallow from crying. “Thank you, baby. I know you can’t control your emotions but you need to stop crying even if it’s for a little bit. You’ll get a headache and your eyes will hurt. how about we wash your face, clean that nose, and I’ll get you some ice cream?” he suggests hopefully, he just wants to help you.

“I’m sorry-,” you start off but he stops you. “Hey. Hey. Hey, there is no need for you to be sorry, this is completely valid, I just wanna help you. We don’t have to if you don’t want to baby,” he pulls you to his damp chest again stroking your hair. “Well um I don’t wanna get a headache either but I’m afraid I already have one,” you laugh a little, “I don’t mind ice cream, that would be nice but thank you. Thank you for everything.” He smiles at you so warmly, “This is nothing ok. I’m here for you always, now let’s get some yummy ice cream and we can talk if you want. I love you, ok. Always.”

Tendō Satori

Tendou definitely makes you chocolates, because he knows comfort food and sweets tend to help bring up a person’s moods but he won’t rush you to eat them as soon as he gets there.

He definitely is someone who tries to lighten the mood with humor; he’ll tell you jokes to make you laugh and smile but might just get it wrong.

Tendou wants you to express yourself but he also thinks this is an experience to make you stronger so he will definitely remind you of your strength and to remember that you had good times with your pet.

He’ll remind you that you’ll always carry that memory of them and as long as you remember you can keep their spirit alive.

He doesn’t want you to forget but he will try to help you accept it, he’ll brush your hair out of your face and wipe your tears then he’ll give you kisses and hugs to remind you that he’s going to be there for as long as you need.

Tendou will encourage you to talk about your feelings or get them out in a way you think best. He wants to help you move on because he knows holding on to pain doesn’t exactly do anyone good.

-----

“RIP that pussy ayyy,” he jokes causing you to giggle just a bit but not for long. He quickly sweeps you into his arms apologizing, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I was tryna make you laugh, and well it did kinda work,” you continue to sob into his chest, “I’m sorry I’ll stop and let you, for a while,” he just gently holds you, while whispering words of encouragement and love.

“Sweetheart, I know they meant a lot to you. I saw the way just petting them made your eyes light up but you have to be strong ok?” you nodded into his chest as combed his fingers through your hair. “I know it’s hard, all the moments and memories but you can’t forget. They were part of you, they weren’t just some pet and I know you know that. Hmmm,” he feels you clutch his shirt tighter. “I know but it hurts. I- I miss them,” you sob as he continues to play with your hair and places a kiss on the crown of your head. “That’s alright but this is an experience too, this moment is one in many to make you stronger than you already are, I know you can’t accept it now but you have to, ok. But take your time. How bout we eat some chocolate hmm?” he asks looking down at you. “Mmmmk but can we maybe watch a movie? I kinda want to ease my mind but I will talk about it later. Th-,” you go to thank him but he stops you. “No need sweetheart, I’m here for you and I’m honestly sorry about the joke but admit it, was kinda funny,” he sees you smile a little as he holds as chocolate up to your mouth.

Kenma Kozume (cat specified)

Kenma is straight forward and he will lay the facts on you as they are.

Although I think at first he’d not know what to do, maybe he’ll awkwardly pull you into a hug and offer a short it's ok, I’m here.

He will however distract you and try to keep you occupied whether it's video games, a movie, a new anime, or manga for you to read.

Kenma will probably ask his followers and subscribers to send you love and support, he thinks it's best he try to surround you with positive energy.

He’ll invite over your friends and maybe the team to help, he wants to brighten your mood and he’s sure Kuroo will say something dumb enough to make you laugh.

What he doesn’t account for is Kuroo making him wear cat ears and parading him around as your new cat.

-----

“I invited the guys over umm I don’t know if that’ll help. If you want them to go back I’ll tell them,” he asks looking at you unsure. You shake your head no, as you wipe unshed tears and blow your leaky nose, just as you finish the front door open. Lev rushes in and pulls you into a hug lifting you off the floor, and Yaku scolds him to put you down. All of them have sat you down and shower you in hugs while giving their condolences. Kuroo and Kenma are nowhere in sight and it causes you to mix feelings of worry into your sadness. Lev jokes about them being cats and maybe they’ll see him in heaven because of some weird bond causing your expression to fall and your front to fall. Suddenly Kuroo voice rings out, “I present to you, Kenma.”

Kenma walks out with a pout and then you notice the cat ears, the belled collar, and the tail, honestly you thought this funny. But your brain was clouded and you weren’t sure if to laugh or cry and you kind of ended up doing both, Kenma rushes over to you taking you into his arms, “Kuroo you made her cry again,” he scolds Kuroo who now has a look of regret gracing his features “Hey baby, it's ok I’m sorry. I’ll kill Kuroo’s cat in Minecraft later, it’ll kinda be even.” He rubs your back as Yaku scolds Kuroo . When you finally found your bearing, “Do- Don’t kill his cat. He’ll be sad like me, but he did make me laugh. I was kinda laugh-crying. You look cute and I know I can’t do anything about my cat dying Ken. It just hurts and I know your tired your best earlier. Damn, I still feel like crying but thank you all for this. Thank you Kenma,” you say burying your face into his chest. Kenma smiles and everyone starts pointing it out only for him to shout at them yet again.

I hope this helped :) I'm sorry if it didn't come out the way you'd hope.

If you liked my writing, maybe you’d like to buy me a coffee?

[ssin-ent]

WayV as Yanderes

so so so a little note first: this was supposed to be co written with @under-the-moanlight but in the end she ended up writing most of it (if it's not everything) Without her this post wouldn't have been possible!cause I'm a dumbass who don't know how to stay organised!

so you guys better go give her a loooooot of love cause that's what she deserves and also go subscribe to her blog she writes amazingly well!-love you so much sweetheart😉-

end of the note ENJOY💖

-------

[no warning cause there's no smut but I can do one( and myself jddjthis time)with smuts only if you'd like]

KUN:

•Almost scary, you’re his everything and he would never EVER let you go, now that he found you be sure you’re with him forever, he practically never leaves your side. you come home, he is with you, you go somewhere? he is with you.

•hurting or even killing someone to keep you by his side is not a problem for kun, he’ll do everything it costs him so no one looks at you or touches you even tho he finds it disgusting, it gets him on his nerves that people don’t understand that you’re his so he has to acts in consequences.

•when he discovered his feelings for you, he completely changed: he went from sweet and caring to obsessed with you, almost psychopath. his whole life took an odd turn, he is so obssessed with you that he has reached the point of the return.

•He doesn’t want you to show interests into other people, but since hurting you is the very last thing in his mind, he’ll just hurt or remove thoses persons from your life so you don’t show interest anymore.

TEN:

•if you laugh, he laughs, if you love something, he loves it too, but if you’re hurted, he feels like a part of his heart is broken and he becomes absolutely crazy and can go to the very extreme: killing that person.

•you’re his half, his soulmate, his first love, and in his mind there is only you and always you, he cannot stop thinking about you and he always have an eye on you.

•has many “friends” from a lot of different groups of people, acts all socialized but for real he just socialize with them to keep an eye on them, making sure they don’t talk about you or begin to have a crush on you.

•there’s no way one day there’s someone else than him in your life, whether it's a guy or a girl, he’ll never accept it: it’s him or no one.

LUCAS:

•before falling in love with you, he was a very sociable person, going out a lot with his friends, but he changed: forgetting his friends, focusing on you, your happiness and your safeness, but also making sure that none of his ex friends ever crushes on you.

•gets mad/on his nerves easily, especially when you talk to your friends (if the person seems to love you,he goes crazy, hitting in the walls before planning how to hurt this guy as much as possible, on the edge of killing).

•buys you gifts like necklaces or things with cams hidden in them: it’s not to hurt you or anything, he just always wanna make sure you’re safe

•if someone he doesn’t know is in your home with you he quickly comes to your house, telling you he just thought about coming to see you when actually he wanna see who is that person that troubles his plans.

SICHENG:

•seems sweet, shy and pacifist when actually he already killed so many people for you, just for you, cause everything he does always relates to you, his whole life turns around your existence.

•people would die to be in your place, having sicheng as such a close friend and almost a lover, but he doesn’t pay them attention, it’s only you in his life and he actually hates so people who wanna be you. you’re unique, you’re his, the only person he'll ever love.

•despite everything, he knows what he is doing. he killed people, hurted some, putted cameras in your house, is following you when he doesn’t know where you’re going and he is fully conscient of it. but he can’t help, he more than loves you, he is crazy and obssessed about you.

•has a little space in his dressing where he putted some objects he stole from you as: a panty, one of your favorite candle, an earring, a toothbrush and many other things.

HENDERY:

•he is kind to everyone and always seems to easily forget people’s mistakes. what they don’t know is that actually his friends are his enemies and everyone who once laid his eyes on you is his enemy, and will get hurt soon or later.

•wants to confess to you but is afraid that if you say no he might go crazy and do things that he’ll regret to you even tho he loves you more than anything.

•"y’know that guy that talked to me once at school? he disappeared, like for real we don’t know where he is! isn’t that weird?” - “ahah yes it’s weird, really weird...” well actually it’s not that weird since he is the one that made that guy disappear.

•buys a lot of gifts but sometimes his gifts are a little bit... unexpected. he saw with the cams in your house or heard that you lost/needed something, he automatically buys it to you. he wants you to be in need of nothing but him, he wants you to crave him.

XIAOJUN:

•he lies a lot, breaks the laws, steals and fights often but all of this in secret, on the outside he is just that cool and cute guy that only minds his business. already killed, will do it again if it’s needed.

•even tho he already killed and hurted people, he’s not really conscient of crazy he is and how bad he acts. and when he egins to realize, he just says to himself that all of this is for you. and if it’s for you, it’s okay and it was a necessity.

•always acts charming, witty and flattery around you. dreams of you (wet dreams), always thinks about you and there’s nothing more important than you. you’re a part of him, you own his heart and his all life depends on you.

•in his mind, you two are already together. he deserves you, and you only deserve him. in his mind, he is the best person you could get along with. you are meant to be together, and if he has to waits years and years for you to realize it, he’ll waits. he’ll always waits for you.

YANGYANG:

•he never ever regrets what he does. he killed, he hurted, he plots to keep you forever by his side and he regrets none of his actions. he did it for you and one day he’s sure you’ll understand it and will thank him.

•his safety and the others safety is the last thing he cares about. he got hurted and other people too, but it’s to protect you. your safety is his priority. and if has to erase every person around you, he’ll do it, he feels like it’s his mission.

•for him, you’re an angel that fell on earth to give him love and hope, to show him what’s real love. his goal is to protect you, making sure you receive enough love from him and he is the only person authorized to receive your love and attention.

•before he acted shy, cute and funny but now he is kinda arrogant, easily and often angry. he became so manipulative, he exactly knows how to get something from someone. it’s like a game for him, and the ending stage is successing at getting your heart.

[risingshards]

#4: 2/8/22: 2022 Goals

I'm thinking a lot about like what goals I wanna hit for Rising Shards this year. With work being a drag (I'm just exhausted) while also being part time, I want to use my extra time to focus on making my main project the best it can be while also growing it a lot in 2022.

In about a year and a half, Rising Shards has gotten up to 1000 subscribers. Part of me hasn't even had that sink in yet; I've never had anything creatively posted online that has that kind of engagement. Another part of me is already itching to move onto the next level. Do I like buy ads? Do I aggressively promote it everywhere? I dunno.

I've been thinking on and off for a long while about a writing Patreon or Ko-fi. Tapas donations are great, but they're pretty intermittent. But I don't want to be like "Hey this thing you read for free. Pay me for it." So I have ideas for some other series that I'd put on there first (the Stella and Diast 18+ series for sure, and then the high fantasy Rising Shards past story that may end up being called River & Lyric). But I still have to like make those, and I don't know if my readers would make the jump from where they can comfortably read RS on Tapas to another thing they would have to pay for. I also did a survey about it and most of the readers said they weren't in a financial position to join one yet.

So maybe I need to just double, triple, quadruple down on the Rising Shards focus. Growing it this year can start with making it the best it can be—wrapping up the first "season" in style, then starting the new season in similar form. I know the general tone I want for RS Season 2, and I'm playing through the main game series that's inspiring it, one of my all time favorites! :) Maybe if I do that for right now, the rest will start to fall into place.

Longterm my goals are the same as they were at the start—build an audience enough that I can release RS volumes in print like light novels, get a comic, make a game at some point, etc. Everything is still steadily working towards all that, which is really cool.

For my MG intended-for-print project, I haven't had a workshop with it so it's been brewing in the back of my mind for a bit as I get ready to do a really thorough outline.

[thesoujishow]

S01E02 - Raimei Tsubusu

[vaporwave lo-fi song]

Souji: Testing? Hello?

Raimei: WUUUUSSSSHHGFGSHSHSHSHSHSHSHS...SSHAAAAAAAA....

Souji: Ok. There we go.

[INTRO - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Hello, and welcome to the Souji Show. I'm Souji and this is a show where I talk about anything I want. 'Cause this is my show, and not yours.

Souji: This episode is sponsored by WcDonalds! WcDonald’s wants to remind you that the most important meal of the day is breakfast. [ominously] So why would you let a morning go by without staring deeply into the mirror until you no longer recognize the face staring back at you – mimicking your every gesture, mocking your every movement?

Souji: [confused + ominous] How else will you get the energy you need for a full day’s work or recreation if you aren’t silently screaming into the visage of a person who gives you such uneasy spirit, such unshakable terror, a queasy feeling every time you make the connection between what that thing is and what you are becoming? What you have become? Where does the void end? Where do you end? When do you end? What time is it now? You’ve been crying, but for how long?

Souji: [cheerful] WcDonald’s! I’m lovin’ it.

[MAIN - glitchy transition music]

Souji: For this very special episode, we have an extra special guest. You may know her as the Violet Vendetta or the captain of the baseball clan. Everyone, give it up for Raimei Tsubusu! You look fantastic today, can you tell our listeners what you're wearing?

Raimei: My sincere apologies for the white noise that was the sound of a closing inter-dimensional portal.

Raimei: It's good to be here. And a great sacrifice on your part, Souji. Not a lot of men would have the guts to expose themselves to this level of danger. As for my attire, these are unique garbs crafted by the Lunarian Moon People, forged in the pits of the thirty-second moon crater. They have plus fifty resilience to all forms of stabbing, cutting and elemental weapons, and the shirt comes with the added benefit of granting me the unique ability: Instantaneous Gangstah Charm. With this ability, I can instantaneously cast any Gokudō spell written within the Book of Yamaguchi.

Souji: Gokudō, that's a synonym for the yakuza, right?

Raimei: Yes, it is. It means the Extreme Path, the hidden school of mysticism I and others subscribe to—one of the five routes to enlightenment, alongside the Mafioso talent tree, and Mexican Cartel Member.

Raimei: In terms of appearance, I had the most excellent designers from Gucci collaborate with the moon people to compress it all down into a pair of pearl white trousers, a tuxedo jacket, white dress shirt, and leather shoes. The Gucci Glasses of Information allow me to see in infra-red and night vision, and I've also got a watch made of platinum that tells me the timezones of all the countries on the world, the moon people's time cycle, and of course, it also dual functions as a holographic mind reader.

Raimei: Some people believe Prada is better. They are wrong.

Souji: I'm more of a thrift store kinda guy, but to each their own. I'll have to get some tips from the Lunarian Moon People on how they make clothes. Most of my clothes are custom made for my Quirk to work on them so I like to sew them myself. Does your inter-dimensional portal go to the moon as well?

Raimei: I lived in this dimension for almost three hundred years before I finally managed to make my first slip into the dream-zone, and that was nearly one hundred years ago. It isn't precisely possible to take a direct, inter-dimensional portal to the moon itself. But it is possible to reach the mirror version of it in the ninth dimension. In that dimension, the moon's where the earth is. So that solves a lot of things. Has to do with the Lunarian's Mystic Mirror view. As you probably already know, portals like these are dependent on reflections. So their mirrors make that impossible by reflecting everything back onto the earth. That's why the moon looks white. It's actually a verdant landscape, filled with grass and trees and everything. But it seems like a rock because we're just looking at a dull reflection of our own planet.

Souji: That's a very unique way to look at the moon. Shoutout to the huge unknown object that smacked the shit out of the Earth billions of years ago and gave us the moon. The sun is cool but that was the real MVP.

Souji: I gotta say, you do look very gangstah. Not to mention a holographic mind reader? Quick, what am I thinking of right now? [laugh]

Raimei: I'm... not sure if that would be appropriate for me to say. Last time I mind read a guy... didn't end well. Besides, this holographic watch would also immediately turn it into a visualization, which can be very embarrassing. So I'll spare you that. But maybe I'll show you a glimpse of my power at the end of this podcast. Sounds good?

Souji: Sounds good. Guess the listeners will just have to stay tuned and find out. Tell me Raimei, how does a multi-dimensional creature end up in Kyoranki Academy? What motivates you to become a hero?

Raimei: That's a good one. There are several reasons. I've lived for about four hundred years in total, so technically speaking, there's no reason for me to go to school. But you might've noticed that there's an expansive underground movement hidden beneath the shadows... the recent events were just one example of that. The CIA, FBI, Interpol, Europol, they're all part of it in some way, preparing for the inevitable Todeskrieg Event. All the major crime groups are getting ready for that, so we are too.

Raimei: On a different level, related to my current incarnation, I'm not unfamiliar with thrift stores either. My dad works long hours... so I want to find a way to help him. I don't know, it's not really black or white. But why Kyoranki Academy? It's one of the best schools in the country. A lot of my middle school friends didn't even get to go to high school. So I consider myself very privileged. I think that alone is motivation enough to be here.

Souji: I get what you mean about helping your family. I think that's a noble cause, Raimei. I grew up poor and mum and dad were mostly out making ends meet. The money's still my number one motivator but it makes me happy knowing that I'll make the city a little bit better for everyone living in it.

Souji: I'm excited that we finally get to go on missions. It makes you think how much far we’ve come. It’s been a crazy year and now we’re actually doing our part to be heroes. I don’t know about you but I’m excited to take down my first villain.

Raimei: I'm concerned people are going to be misinterpreting their roles in this entire thing. Based on what you said earlier, you're from a poor neighbourhood as well, right? So you know what it's like on the streets. What I'm just concerned by is that a lot of the people in our class, like, ... I watch them. I see that the majority don't have that. They don't have any street smarts, they don't know what it's like to be in that situation, to be poor... to be under the influence of junkies across the street. Yea, we've been trained, but I'm unconvinced that we've been prepared to deal with those situations.

Raimei: I think we can take down villains, sure. And there might even be a few out there we could stop. But I'm not excited about running into one; nothing is exciting about meeting someone that potentially wants to kill you. And I'm not sure we're helping the city by pushing our authority down people's throats, especially by a bunch of teenagers that have been told this is their big shot at heroism. Your local twelve-year-old marijuana seller doesn't need juvie, they need role models; good, role models that can inspire them—structural improvements to their lives, like decent food.

Raimei: You know how crazy it is that I can buy five fast-food hamburgers for the price of one piece of supermarket vegetable? If people wanna help the neighbourhood; go help out at a shelter—a soup kitchen. Hand out food; give your homeless newspaper salesman some cash to get him through the day. Japanese society is harsh, man. The second you fall out of the boat, your chances are pretty much zero. Everyone despises you. Your family ousts you. It's not fun. I know it, I've seen it in friends; how they're getting torn apart just because they're like, half-Chinese or something.

Raimei: I hope our peers just remember that when they're going out. If you're going in there guns blazing, you're just going to hurt more people than you'll save.

Souji: I get what you mean. I grew up in the middle of downtown Osaka, nothing but skyscrapers. Our high rise apartment was small, but it kept us safe from the streets. The news spoke of heroes that roamed the streets, shutting down crime wherever they went. People spoke of bright, shining icons in colourful suits, flashing cheesy grins at the camera. But only a few came to ours.

Souji: Growing up in the poor meant that at a young age, I was very cognizant of how the money would and could limit me and my life as I attempted to get to the place where I am supposed to be. Most people our age will never know about ketchup sandwiches, adding water to milk or to an empty shampoo bottle to get more shampoo. Hand-me-downs clothes, books, toys. Having a ‘candle day’ because the lights don’t work. [chuckle]

Souji: When I say to people I know downtown Osaka like it's the back of my hand, I really do mean it. I know which places to avoid during certain times of the day. You had to be street smart to survive, those are the rules of the game.

Raimei: Mhm, mhm. That's what I'm saying. I'm from the outskirts of Airin-chiku, so it's pretty much the same issue.

Souji: It's easy to get caught up in the title. A hero. Believe me, I'll admit that fame is enticing but at the end of the day, we're here to protect the whole city. Trust is a fragile thing. I think most of us in Kyoranki know that because of what happened. Villains and heroes are two sides of the same coin. We're both them in nature. Both are corrupted by the noble illusion of spreading ideas and helping others who on the 'good' side defined by them respectively. It's always been the human struggle in defining 'help' more importantly 'the others'. I don't know if I'm making sense but that's how I feel. [chuckle]

Raimei: And there's a couple of areas in between that too, mind. Not everyone's a bad guy, and not everyone's a good guy like the heroes that just pander for attention or the bad guys that are in it to support their families financially.

Souji: This Todeskrieg Event sounds interesting, what's going to happen?

Raimei: The Egyptian Pyramids. The moon landings. Global warming. Why did they happen? Did they happen? Or were these just small glimpses out of a much larger conspiracy? Why dedicate millions, tens of millions of dollars only to put a guy on the moon?

Raimei: The various gangs around the world know the answer. At least, the established ones. It's all a part of this cybernetic A.I that has kept us trapped in a virtual reality dimension, Souji. You think all of this is real, but like, do we have any proof? How can we reliably say that this isn't just...computer generated?

Souji: I'm a big arcade, video game fan so this is right up my alley. I had the same hunch as you, Raimei. The truth is that there’s much we simply don’t understand about our reality, and I think it’s more likely than not that we are in some kind of a simulated universe. Now, it’s a much more sophisticated video game than the games we produce, just like today World of Warcraft and Fortnite is way more sophisticated than Pac-Man or Space Invaders. If we develop the ability to produce even one simulated reality, we will almost certainly produce more than one.

Raimei: That's what confuses people. They think I'm going on about some sort of magical thing. But magic and science are one and the same, magic's just another way of trying to add rationality to it. And that's part of the Todeskrieg event. It's French for "Totem Pole Disaster"... it's written about in various religions. Some call it the Apocalypse, others Ragnarok ... basically the end of the world. When the simulation will be using too much data for the computer to handle.

Souji: Maybe we're just figment of imaginations and our creators are just forcing their every whim to us for fun. They're our writers, and we are their characters. Maybe they're just a bunch of roleplayers in a Discord server together? Do you hear that creator? I'm The Glitch now, a bug in your system. A disruption to the simulation.

Raimei: Based on archaeological data, humans, in our current shape and form... have existed for about two-hundred thousand years. Now, of course, imagine you're a person living in those sorts of environments. Yes, you'll be stuck most of the day, collecting food and whatever. But do you think those people were dumber than us? Of course not! They might've not had the schooling, but they had the same type of brain.

Raimei: Now, imagine that sort of situation. Okay, so, the first generation of Humans... they got it hard. The second one does as well. The third generation, well, it's a bit easier. And the fourth one... we're talking about everything within the span of a hundred years, considering people lived shorter lives.

Raimei: Now multiply that by a hundred. One hundred thousand years and they're trying to convince us that people only invented farming techniques twelve thousand years ago? It doesn't make sense. You can't convince me, people, before that time didn't... invent something. Didn't create something. Didn't create a civilization. Imagine, with our technology, with our A.I systems, our virtual reality capacities... I mean, if you're into gaming, look at the last fifty years.

Raimei: Now multiply that by four. Imagine just how bizarre that technology would be. Already, we've got games that are borderline lifelike. So how can we know that this isn't just.. some giant simulation? We can't. And we have to look at the empirical, most logical type of data. There's more evidence to suggest all of this is just a program than there is evidence to the contrary. But scientists aren't willing to recognize that.

Souji: I know! I can't believe no one is talking about this. Paranormal events like hauntings or alien encounters can be glitches in the simulation. Stuff like the Mandela Effect is supposedly proof that whoever is in charge of our simulation is changing the past. And don't get me started on Quirks! Superpowers born from radiation. You’re not going to get proof that we’re not in a simulation, because any evidence that we get could be simulated. If I were a character in a computer game, I would also discover eventually that the rules of our universe seem completely rigid and mathematical.

Souji: We’ve spent billions sending probes through outer space and should probably have found evidence of extraterrestrials by now, right? Not so fast: Aliens would likely be far more technologically advanced than we are, the thinking goes, so the fact that we haven’t located them suggests we live in a simulation they’ve figured out how to escape from. Or maybe the computer we’re in only has enough RAM to simulate one planetary civilization at a time?

Raimei: That's what we've been preparing for. The drug trade, the crime cartels, it all has to do with that.

[ASK SOUJI - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Now, let's shine the spotlight back towards the main focus of his podcast... me! Now, Raimei, it's your turn to ask me questions. C'mon, don't be shy, ask anything you'd like.

Raimei: are you sure you want to give me that sort of power? Because if I get to ask anything I like... First up, what's the deal with you and Ken? I don't want to pry into your love life, but you two looked very cosy in that meeting room.

Souji: Me and Ken? Love life? Oh, umm. I mean, umm. No, we aren't. You know. Together like that. [stammering]

Souji: We're just rivals! Yes, rivals. We started talking over the summer and we got closer during the campfire trip. Bunk buddies. Yeah, that. No love life here.

Raimei: Uh-huh. ... Bunk buddies. Well, if that's the official answer...

Souji: ...yes! Bunk buddies. That's the official answer.

Raimei: And I guess, another question is... why did you start this podcast? I'm not exactly famous or especially well-liked around the school, so I'm wondering why you're inviting someone like me to do this sort of thing.

Souji: I started this podcast because of Starlight. He's my favourite hero as you can probably tell. I always watched his talk show growing up, and it was what inspired me to enrol in Kyoranki in the first place. So this podcast is me passing it forward. I want to inspire other kids just like what Starlight did to me. One interview at the time.

Raimei: That's good. That you got a role model to follow, I mean... that you know what you want to do, and who ya wish to emulate. It's the same thing with the guys I mentioned earlier. ... Don't have plushies of them though, unfortunately.

Souji: You say the weirdest stuff in our group chat and I like it! You're interesting, zany and fun. You have a unique point of view, and having you in my show is an honour in it of itself.

Raimei: And I appreciate that about inviting me on your show I mean. Glad I could mention those frustrations I've been holding up. Don't have to go out of your way for me though, I'm okay with sticking to my own little bubble. That's just the life of a made-man. Forever in the shadows.

[Qs from the GC - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Let's move on to our audience questions! These were submitted by our classmates in our group chat. Ready?

Raimei: Yea, audience questions. I'm honestly surprised anyone finds me interesting enough to ask questions, but okay, let's go

Souji: Chia wants to know who are the special people in your life? What's something you're proud of and embarrassed by?

Raimei: Special people, huh? Well, I've got my dad. My mom ran out on us when I was little, so it has always been us versus the world. I've been going to a gym now for about... five years? And the people there are my role models, I guess. They inspired me to get into sports, like boxing. One in particular... the guy's a genuine sumo wrestler. But of the old generation? But yea, those guys have made a significant impact on me.

Souji: Haruto asks, why is your skin purple? Likewise, Ao inquires, do you know the girl who turned into a blueberry in Wonka's factory?

Raimei: As for my skin colour, ... I guess I've gotten a bit desensitized to questions like that. It's a skin mutation on my mother's side, supposedly to do with Quirks. I don't know, I always find it a bit weird to talk about. That nickname they gave me too, it's like calling someone with a darker skin pigmentation the "Black Vendetta". I mean, not that I mind. Asking about the pigmentation's no problem because it's odd. I'm just saying, it feels a bit shitty to compare me with some fucking Willy Wonka scene when like six months ago a kid got bullied out of school because people kept comparing him to a video game character; so, uh, Ao, you're cool. No hard feelings. I'm just going to subtly compare you to a fucking Star Wars Droid if you try that shit again.

Souji: Ken wants to know what you think of the recent baseball team tryout. And to that I say: we have a baseball team? Can I also try out just to beat that monkey boy?

Raimei: Yea, we got a baseball team! I mean, we got teams for nearly every popular sport, right? It's a prestigious school, after all. But we're doing our best to try for the nationals. And you're welcome to join up if you want, we can definitely use a few more clan members. As for our most recent try-out... that all depends on whether he joins up or not.

Souji: Kotoe inquires, do you play the bass?

Raimei: I don't play the bass or any other instrument.

Souji: And finally, Fumi wants to know your favourite genre of book.

Raimei: My favourite genre of books is crime novels.

[ENDING - glitchy transition music]

Souji: Well, we're nearing the end of our show, Raimei, is there anything you'd like to remind our audience, maybe plug whenever they can find you online? Maybe some tips on how to prepare for the Todeskrieg Event?

Raimei: I had an excellent time Souji. Thanks for inviting me. As for preparations, the people can make for the Todeskrieg Event, consider this a bit of an unofficial announcement; we are in fact a highly secretive group. But we, that being me and a few other highly skilled individuals steeped knee-deep in the criminal underground, decided to create a sparring group a few months ago. A fighting ring, as it were.

Raimei: There's no real focus on anything other than fighting a lot, gaining that sort of experience. I don't really bother with rankings or who's best or whatever either, I mean, my choice to just not participate in that tournament should prove of that. So there's no ego thing going on. Whether ya win or lose, it's all good. It's like a clan...But our meetings are sorta irregular, so you can still be part of another, like how I'm still in the baseball clan.

Raimei: As for the best way to contact me, all the usual underground channels work.

Souji: You've been pretty cool to talk to, so before you leave, I have a special surprise just for you. But don't forget, you promised to show me a glimpse of your power.

Raimei: And I did promise to show you a sample of my hidden, mystical power, didn't I? Alright- I'll try and make sure to contain it so that we don't blow up this entire office.

[sounds of moving chairs]

[sound of an 80s disco beat from silly cartoons transformation scenes]

Raimei: Ultra-Mobster, transformation! Percentage; three hundred!

Raimei: Yamaguchi-Gumi spell; Fifty-Five! Gokudō code, page three. Entering heat mode. Specialized skill; DISROBE.

[sounds of thunder]

Raimei: Looks like I got a new favourite shirt. Thanks, Glitch.

Souji: What a way to end the show! [applause]

Souji: Well listeners, if the world does turn out to be just a simulation, remember to make the most of it. Make a point of seeing some good in every day. Drop your resentments. We all have them. Make every day count. The end of the world is coming but until then, to keep up with the show follow me @thesoujishow, and to support my small clothing business, follow @glitchgear on all social media platforms. Once again, this has been Raimei Tsubusu and Souji Yoshihiro, and you’ve been listening to the Souji Show! A show where I talk about anything I want. 'Cause this is my show, and not yours. Until next time. Insert catchphrase here.

[vaporwave lo-fi song]

[EXTRAS - glitchy transition music]

Souji: If you listen to this podcast, chances are you go to Kyoranki Academy. Kido Kotoe is looking for a bass player for her band. So if any of you are interested, please contact her at [Kotoe's school email].