#I enjoy the tragedy of never seeing eachother again ^_^

[francy-sketches]

This is like 3 years old but I just realized I never posted it and I still kinda like it so

[frombookstoretobookstore]

Request if you have time!!! Could u do an Abbott surgical tech reader ( surgical techs assist during surgery abs um going to school for it!!) where the comfort eachother have the pit fest accident maybe a lil spice!

Alright so I really tried my best to nail the surgical tech but but what do I know? I work with plants for a living! I hope you enjoy this and I'm so sorry it took me so long!

TW: Mention of mass casualty event, blood, medical inaccuracies, hint of spice at the end.

Masterlist

The Offer

Today has been hell. No, Y/n was positive not even hell was this bad.

Y/n had spent the first few minutes before the onslaught of the shooting victims running around and gathering supplies, doing her best to anticipate what they’d need downstairs. Her and her colleagues had started throwing everything they could into disaster bins.

She’d been pulled down to the ED floor shortly after, running around with supplies, responding to calls for chest tubes and intubation trays, and trying not to slip in the blood that continued to pool on the floor.

“Can someone stabilize for a flip?” She isn’t even sure who calls for it, just that she’s there to stabilize a neck as a doctor rolls the patient to check the exit wound of a bullet. She’s handing him an IO and a unit of O Neg before they can even ask.

“Always four steps ahead.” Abbot breathes, working quickly to get an IO in. “If needed, bone marrow transfusion is just as good as an IV.”

“Need a hand?” She hears Robby ask as she’s passing over a laryngoscope before Abbot can even hold his hand out.

“I’ve got two hands.” Abbot says a small smile forms on Y/n’s face as she’s passing over an endotracheal tube. She nods at him before taking off again to help someone calling for more tools.

A few minutes later, after having to catch herself on the nurses’ station as she slides, she hears Abbot calling that the patient she’d just assisted on, hadn’t made it.

She doesn’t even have time to think of the loss before she’s off running again, answering a call for another set of hands. She can feel the stress and exhaustion sitting in the base of her skull, her shift having ended hours ago, but she pushes it aside as she’s dodging and weaving around patients, doctors, and nurses.

This goes on for hours, something that feels like a lifetime. She’s running around, anticipating needs, and helping where she can.

Y/n can still feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins, a harsh counterpoint to the utter exhaustion in her bones. Her reflection in the mirror stares back at her, pale and drawn, her eyes shadowed by the ghosts of what she can’t unsee.

She’s fully determined to pull herself together, to not let the tragedies follow her home and into her dreams. She wanted the reprieve of being able to leave everything at the doors of the hospital, to not go through every moment that had happened today, every choice she’d made.

However, she isn’t so lucky today. After helping clear the ED of the remnants of the mass casualty, she’s sitting up on the roof, breathing in the fresh air like a lifeline.

She’s so in her head, she jumps slightly when Abbot sits down next to her, a juice box offered to her as he opens his own.

“Never in a million years did I think I’d see Dr. Jack Abbot drinking a juice box while sitting on the roof. Standing near the edge sure, but sitting here? Never.” He chuckles softly as she all but chugs the juice, the sugar helping her with her adrenaline come down. 

“I’d have brought you a sandwich, but Whitaker snatched the last one.” He’s looking out at the skyline, the silence between the comfortable. He knocks his knee against her when he notices her hands are still shaky.

“I know it’s literally the point of your job to be one step ahead of all of us, but down there, you were incredible. I’ve never seen someone so focused.” She nods slightly, a flat lipped smile on her face. He places his hand in hers, squeezing it slightly.

She inhales deeply, willing the night air to fix her, to calm her, to let her leave all of this behind when she leaves.

“I’ll be washing my hands every ten minutes for the next week.” She laughs slightly, squeezing Abbot’s hand back. 

“These things,” he says as he sighs, “stick with you longer than we feel it should. But down there, that isn’t normal.”

“A brief reprieve to witness the worst of humanity.” She says, a dark chuckle erupts from her chest.

“Yeah, something like that.” He laughs, understanding her need to be sarcastic after what they’d both witnessed.

“After something like this, what do you do? Not the processing part, but the decompressing after the initial event.” She’s letting her head fall on his shoulder as they keep looking out.

“A shower, a nice bottle of whiskey, listen to a few records.” She laughs at his nonchalance. He places a small kiss to the top of her head, their fingers intertwined. Neither thinks too hard about the intimacy, both are too busy relishing in the contact.

“Care to join?”

“What?!” She sputters, coughing slightly on her juice as she removes herself from Abbot to look at him, his eyes shining as he laughs. 

Abbot’s laughter fades as he leans back to look at her. “I was serious though. Sometimes, when the night gets too heavy, you need something to snap you out of it. Music works for me—helps me tune out the noise.”

She couldn’t help but smile faintly, “Never pictured you as the vinyl type,” she murmurs, teasing him.

He shrugs, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “There’s a lot about me you don’t know, yet.”

“Yet?” She asks, raising an eyebrow while still letting herself relax, their hands still faintly brushing.

He chuckles, turning to face her fully. “Well, if you ever decide to take me up on that offer; whiskey, records, and maybe even a decent meal.”

“Does that offer extend to tonight? Wasn’t it supposed to be you day off? I don’t want to crash it.”

“I would love nothing more for you to crash my day off, or what’s left of it.” He laughs, their hands intertwining again.

She turns to look at him; his eyes appear sunken and fatigued, and his hair is disheveled, likely due to repeatedly running his hands through it. He smiles softly at her, and she finds comfort in his gaze, returning his smile.

She stands and offers her hand down to him. He smirks as he takes her hand and allows her to lead them inside to the elevator.

“I take it that’s a yes to my offer?” He asks, an eyebrow raised, and his arms crossed as they descend.

“Nah, figured I’d continue my existential crisis at home by myself.” She laughs, earning a soft chuckle from Abbot, his gaze still trained on her. “I’d do just about anything for a decent meal.”

He chuckles softly, letting his head rest against the elevator wall, his gaze still on her, on her lips.

“Anything?” He asks.

“Just about anything. Who knows. After a shower and a meal, I could be down.” She’s stepping towards him, a sultry smirk on her face. He inhales slightly as she enters his space.

“Depends on how good the meal is.” She winks, breezing past him to gather her things from the surgical floor. She turns to him before the elevator doors close. “That, and how willing you’d be to get on your knees and show me a good time.”

He closes his eyes with a groan, her laughter filtering in through the doors as they close. He smirks to himself when he exits the elevator, intent on showing her just how good of a time he can be.

-------------------

A/N: Requests are still open so feel free to send some in! As usual let me know what y'all think!

[rikandererr]

Afterparty.

A ShadAmy oneshot.

Prompt: Shadow never asked Amy to be less than what she is, neither did the pink hedgehog. But when the party's over and the guests are leaving, only then did Amy voiced her concerns for the ebony quilled brooder who had been quiet all night long. Nothing special, nothing much. Sometimes comfort doesn't require a tragedy to be appreciated.

"Guess that's all. See ya 'round, fellas!" Sonic yelled out as he walked out the door, dust picking up by the heel of his shoes the moment he speeds up to his more usual, more familiar tempo. The others also said their own versions of a goodbye. Some with a wave, some with smile, some with a laugh. But even as Amy exchanged each departure with a smile of her own, a certain kind grabbed her attention amidst all of it.

There's not really that many people who don't know him. The Ultimate Lifeform, he'd say. The Ultimate Weapon, some would exclaim. But only Shadow, as she knew him. Whatever title or name he goes by, it doesn't stop his crimson gaze to drag itself by the flooring of Amy's home, arms crossed, and expression tight as he remained in one of the more inconspicuous spaces in the room. But she noticed.

She always does.

And maybe that's why she walked up to him before he had the chance to leave just as fast. Maybe that's why his steps halted for half a second when he saw the sliver of pink moving into his line of sight. A broom in her hand, a soft expression on her face. Typical. She was always the type to tidy up after people, even if they left with their stomach full and appetite satiated. But what wasn't typical to him was the way she tilted her head just a bit to see his expression more clearly, and Chaos knows if he was ever going to be ready for it.

"Don't leave just yet," she told him, in a voice so sweet that he could swear it sounded more like an offer. Her brows knitted slightly as if trying to appear more serious, but it fell flat compared to him. "I'll make you some coffee."

A flash of something eerily similar to surprise appeared just beneath his gaze, but the only real tell you could ever get from him was the twitch of his ear. "What?" He breathed, "Why? That's unnecessary. I was just about to leave." But she didn't budge. Instead, she slowly placed the broom against one of the walls, already pacing to move towards the kitchen halls.

"You didn't touch any of the pastries, nor did you move from your seat." Her voice called out as her nimble fingers made quick work of preparing what she needed for his caffeine addiction. "The only real conversation you had was with Rouge and Sonic, and the one with Sonic happened because he was the one messing with you." She continued, and she could hear his footsteps closing in to go and see her, despite the resting scowl on his face. "Don't think i didn't notice." She smiled.

His heart skipped a beat at her little smirk at the end of her sentence. This back and forth had happened for longer than he would admit, and the flutter in his chest is growing bothersome with each passing day it continues. Perhaps a week or two has passed since they somehow started filling eachother's loneliness with quips and scoffs—his, at least. Two whole weeks since he could stand alone in solitude before she happened.

But perhaps, he doesn't entirely regret leaning under the tree alone that day. Even when it continues with him being pestered to join in with the rest by a certain rose, not even when he had to explicitly tell her that, no, he's not lonely, he enjoys solitude. And somehow, it ended up with her leaning against that same tree beside him. What did she say again? "Then, at least let someone else enjoy the quiet with you." Something like that.

Maybe he should've left that day, tell her that The Ultimate Lifeform doesn't need such a thing. But, would he be here now if he did? Would he ever experience what's it like to have someone you knew for so long, yet only ever had real conversations with less than a month ago, making him coffee just the way he likes it as if it was something she always knew how to do?

"You didn't have to do this," his fingers curled around the handle of the mug she slid to him on the table, warm smoke forming from the liquid like a gentle embrace. "I want to." She answered, wiping her hands clean on a nearby cloth as she placed all the dirty plates by the sink. Something she could always deal with later. "You should know that by now."

Unable to find an answer, he only watched the dark liquid swirl slightly in the mug. Bringing it up to blow some of the heat away before taking a proper sip. "Bitter," he said aloud. "It's good." And a soft clink as he placed it down. A smile perched itself on Amy's lips at that. "Good, at least you can now say you enjoyed something in today's visit."

Her words were met with a scoff, something that seemed paculiarly empty in terms of weight. "I enjoyed my time here just fine. As i said, this was unnecessary." He told her, and she simply raised a brow. "Even when Sonic was annoying you?" "Sonic always annoys me." Then, a soft chuckle, something Shadow had grown used to within these past few weeks. And yet, it was also something that would catch him off guard at times.

"Well, I'm not letting anyone leave until all my guests had fun. Including you." Her quills bounced slightly as she walked towards the couch, plopping down with a grace only someone who could wield a hammer like a feather could have. "Come here, and enjoy your drink." Her hand softly pats the space next to her, an invitation in its own right. "You're free to go once it's finished."

The red striped hedgehog stilled for a moment, torn betweein giving in or denying. But wouldn't that seem... mean? All she did was make him a cup of coffee to make up for the insufferable time he had to spend sitting in the corner as the others got together and basked in her presence, cooking, and words. And so he sighed before finally relenting to her request. The couch dipped slightly in response to his weight as he leaned back just enough to be comfortable, the coffee still in his hands.

"You know I'm fine, right?" The tone of his voice was flat even as he took another sip, which earned her attention again. "I don't need to be doted on." He continues, but Amy only tilted her head again. "I'm not doting on you," she starts, turquoise meets crimson as she holds his gaze. "But i don't think you're fine either." His brows furrowed at her answer, something slightly offended showing its tail in his voice. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, Sonic's fine, so are Knuckles and Tails. If i give them something, they accept. And when i hug them, they don't flinch. You, however..." her voice trailed just enough to insinuate just what she meant, which only caused him to narrow his eyes in response. "A hug is what makes you decide whether someone is fine or not?" Not exactly venom lacing his voice, no. He doesn't have the heart for it. But something just close enough to sarcasm that even she could catch it.

She sighed in response, posture straightening just slightly beneath his gaze. "Well, it's a good place to start, at least." She shrugged, "unless you're saying you're above it." A slight tease hidden under a small jab. Shadow didn't respond right away, but the way his stare softened only for a fraction of a second said a lot more than his mouth ever could.

"Just get it over with," he muttered, in which Amy's ears immediately perked up upon hearing him. But she didn't jump in immediately, not like how he was expecting. He told himself this was simply to indulge her, to somehow pay back for the annoyingly sweet moments she had tried to provide. But when her body shuffled closer just slightly, just barely...

"About time."

Her arms gently wrapped itself around him, keeping him in place yet not exactly trapping. She was mindful of the mug he's holding, conscious of the way he stiffened up beneath her touch. Her head dipped slightly to lean on his shoulder, still holding him close, but that wasn't the surprising part.

Her eyes shot open when she felt it, the weight. Like something leaning back just above her, like he wasn't trying to move away but instead decided to embrace it all the same. He wasn't hugging her back, not really, but with the way his head rested on top of hers? He might as well be. The corners of her lips twitched slightly, a smile threatening to come through with every time he adjusted his position against her hold.

"Seems like you need it." She hummed, but there was something just tender enough that it catches on his ribcage.

"Say something about this, and I'm never returning." He scoffs, yet the tone was less biting than usual. Amy giggled at that, her hold not yet leaving his sides. "Understood, I'll put this in my scrapbook instead."

And maybe the groan of exasperation he lets after was more perfomative than he thought. After all, who's to say he wouldn't also document this moment in some way?

[jazzyblusnowflake]

do u have any headcanons for Nuzi? sorry if you've already written about this before and I just didn't see it-

Oh boi anyone here into silly headcanons? XD ill put them under the cut just in case cuz i write a loooooooooooot lol

i usually just make headcanons as i go with my fics, its hard to think about for them specifically but here i go trying, hope you enjoy uwu

Some Nuzi Headcanons i got ùwú:

[for the drone universe ofc, some of my human HCs don't work in the drone universe sadly lmao]

considering this is at a time where they would become official or heck maybe the tragedy ends and they are happy together or something:

Uzi loves calling N "Puppy", sometimes she would also call him "Sunshine" or "Angel" but her & Ns fav would be "Puppy". however N usually doesn't call Uzi many nicknames other than "Zi" rarely- and maybe occasionally "Birdie" when they are more lovey dovey- he's more into pet names like "honey - darling - sweetheart - etc" and not much of a tease... although at times when they get a bit more spicy and he DOES want to tease- he could go towards names like "lil biscuit", "baby bat", "my lady" and etc but again, very rarely 6v6;;;;

they both had to download helpful content on how to flirt 🙄 although they caught on pretty quick lol.

N is subconsciously protective of Uzi, often curling his tail around her without realizing it, or stepping in front of her; but Uzi is consciously protective of N- especially when he's being bullied or degraded- she would cut off anyone's conversation if they were talking about N badly with something like "oh stick a fork in it J-" before changing the subject-

Uzi is actively a smartass sass mouth- she just never really had the confidence for standing up for herself- but with N she's grown to be a bit more confident in herself- and yet N has never seen her be aggressive to HIM lmao- and then when he sees how sometimes she absolutely drags some other drones he has to literally pick Uzi up from the scruff of her coat and tell her to please be nice XD

Uzi and N are absolutely, hopelessly touch and affection starved- this makes them get really cuddly as a way to recharge themselves emotionally. occasionally they just sit next to eachother without words and rub their heads against eachother like cats and sometimes Uzi just sits on his lap and randomly starts prepping his whole face with tini kisses- as if to say mine mine mine- and N is... well just sitting there wagging his tail like an excited puppy :D no words needed between them, just healthy and wholesome touching, cuddling and affection from eachother-...... i mean it could get spicy too- lmao 👀 cuz Uzi really loves taking off Ns hat for more comfort and just threading her hands in his hair- sometimes tugging gently to tilt his head for a more firm and heartfelt kissing and makeout sesh- they rarely get that needy but N happily reciprocates and his grip on Uzi's body/hips tightens pulling her flush against himself more-

at the beginning they are both a flustered mess doing or saying anything romantic but then Uzi started liking teasing and flustering N at any chance she could take. N is just too easy and too smitten for her.

N also occasionally gets the confidence and mood to be more forward and assertive and teasing Uzi over things he knows she's into and Uzi is absolutely into that shit- she's sat 😤

they do share oil sometimes through bites or kisses- but usually that's only when they feel extra frisky lmao-

Uzi gets easily embarrassed during intimate moments and since contact and touching easily discharges their power as sparks, Uzi often uh.... ends up with multiple soft-reboots or powering on and off which kinda overheats her body and CPU alot lmao-

they like drawing and listening to music together- Uzi actually likes watching N draw even if they look amateur and childish- she finds them extremely cute and hangs them up in her room when he draws for her <3

they did NOT start out sleeping next to eachother well. Uzi has nightmares a lot, and even without them she still moves around frantically and is just never in the same position when she wakes up, meanwhile N sleeps like a dead person, he hardly moves and he got used to the pose of crossing his arms on his chest so yeah... dead pose lmao. this made him get kicked alot or shoved in the slot between the bed and wall often- [if he didn't sleep on the other side and just straight up get kicked off the bed anyway]😭. even at times when he decided they could sleep hanging from their tails Uzi often still found herself in the middle of the night hanging haphazardly, limbs and wings in every direction and clothes riding down which made N almost start laughing when he woke up seeing her like this 😭😭😭. in the end one of the ways they ended up making Uzi sleep alot better was cuddling. N would just hold Uzi close, if hanging he would put his wings around them. Uzi would resist and push against him alot at first but slowly after time her nightmares subdued and she felt calmer sleeping at night.... also they put a cork or something on Ns tail when they sleep lol-

All drones, disassembly or worker, can make their cores whirr in a purring noise, its just that its louder for disassemblers, the noise of Ns core helps Uzi relax <3

Uzi can lift N very easily, straight up on her shoulder even.... and somehow N is very turned on by this as she could easily carry him around bridal style if need be- esp if she gets jealous of N interacting with others and just throws him over her shoulder and leaves- or uh.... yknow, if Ns hurt or something, yep 6x6;;;

Uzi is also turned on by the fact that N is so much bigger than her. they be casually sitting and inspecting eachothers hands and Uzi's is smaller and she just blushes fervently imagining all the things she wants his hands and claws to do to her.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND thats about all i can think of atm without spoiling much of my own future ideas lol, hope it wasn't too annoying, but i really enjoyed writing this uwu<3

hope yall enjoyed it too if you made it til here :p

i diiiiid wanna include some nsfw hcs too but im gonna keep this ask as sfw as possible for now. 😇 those would be nsfw specific hcs anyway lmao

[youngyoo-apologist]

When it comes to OG!Cale ships I like both OG!AlCale and OG!ChoiHan but it really depends on the scenario

For example, I like OG!AlCale in both regression aus and TBoaH adjacent timeline things because I think a huge thing I like in their dynamic is how mysterious they both are to the other party. The fun of their dynamic is them discovering more about each other and the various miscommunications they have cause of their own personalities, and I think that works very well no matter the universe.

But with OG!ChoiCale, I feel like I can really only enjoy it in TBoaH adjacent things or if they both have the memories of the first life.

To me, a big thing about OG!ChoiCale is about the life they lived together, how they hated eachother, how they both didn’t know eachother for years, how they could have spent time together during the war due to unfortunate circumstances(there not being enough people left)

Like, I think OG!ChoiCale can be such a cool dynamic, such a sad, but comforting one at the same time. It’s a little bitter how the man you thought you would hate forever became a close companion, how he’s more similar to you than your younger self woild have ever thought, but do you really hate it?

Can you really hate having a person who understands you, when so many people have died? When so many are gone?

Something about the sadness of it all, how it was tragedy that brought them against each other at first, but now it brings them together. How they could only ever grow to understand eachother because of the pain they face, the pain that they shared. At some point, can you really hate him, even until the end? After all those years? After coming to understand him? No, you cannot.

Like, it adds in extra layers when they both care about each other at some point mid-way through the war, but they still can’t really talk to eachother properly. They care, but they frustrate one another, anger each other. Choi Han doing increasingly more risky and self sacrificial things because ‘I’m a hero’ ‘I have to do it.’ ‘It is justice to save people’, despite the fact that it’s at the expense of himself

And Cale’s frustration at Choi Han’s attitude. He can never wrap his head around the fact that Choi Han destroys himself for the sake of other people, and believes it’s heroic(He knows Choi Han doesnt, he know Choi Han hates it too, but he doesn’t know what else to say to himself other than the fact that ‘it’s for the greater good’, because he will go crazy if he doesn’t)

He’s mad, but there’s some twisted sense of understanding in there too. Cale understands, because he became trash for his family, he became trash to protect them, he had to do it.

But that’s only what he thought.

He was older now, he had lost them all, and he had seen how his trash act hadn’t done anything to protect them. It only distanced him from them, and now they were gone, and he could never see them again, he could never make amends.

Cale is mad at Choi Han for sacrificing himself because while Choi Han is hurting himself, the people who he loves, and the people who love him, watch him do it over and over again and he doesn’t listen to their worried cries.

He’s mad, but he understands. It was frustrating to be on the other side, watching someone destroy themselves for the sake of others when the people who cared about them wanted the exact opposite. The only difference between him and Choi Han was that Choi Han was never a good liar, he could never hide how much pain he went through.

In a way, Cale thought it was better that way.

At some point, there is love that is there. Love that follows them, and it’s so painful because they both know the tragedy edy to it that is how they are doomed, how they can never be happy in the first time line where they knew each other.

Because as Cale and Choi Han, they can’t be happy. Not when so much has been lost, not when the world is falling apart, they may love each other, but loving each other as they are means being in a world where everything else they love is gone.

It is a cruel kind of love.

Like let’s say they do pursue these feelings, even though knowing those two I don’t think they’d ever say anything in that scenario. If they did it would probably be Cale going like:

“Choi Han, do you love me?”

Choi Han doesn’t say anything, but his silence in place of adamant refusal is enough of an answer.

“Do you love me, Cale?”

Cale doesn’t say anything either, only smiling at Choi Han with his signature, cynical and bitter smile.

He didn’t deny it either.

It was a confirmation of feelings, but unlike the confessions from romance novels and stories, the main character and lead do not end up together and live happily ever after.

They stay together, but the world around them is not happy, not at all. They are together, but not as partners or as lovers, but two people who live in their suffering because all they can do is live.

I feel like anything they do together would always have an air of melancholy to it. Maybe they kiss, once, and no more, because there is no point in making it a regular thing. Not when everything in their world will end, even if they keep on fighting for it to not be that way.

They kiss, and it’s short, but in that short moment, the world is nothing but Cale and Choi Han.

Isn’t that selfish? If it’s like this, then they could ignore how everything has gone so badly. But that is exactly why they cannot be together, there is no ignoring the reality of their situation, no matter how sweet it would be to live in a false dream and never wake up.

I like my OG!ChoiCale a little doomed.

[rise-my-angel]

I was reading ur post on jon and Jaime parallels and I was thinking what if he was so disgusted but catelyns hate towards jon because it reminds him of tywin and tyrion. Like how both catelyn and tywin both don’t accept jon and tyrion as their son.

He read her so good because he’s been through the whole situation before.

The degree to which I think you absolutely nailed it????

Now humour me for a moment as I attempt to give a long winded explication of my thought process about what you just said, because I think it is brilliant and completely true.

Jon and Tyrion in their own way are outcasts. One's a bastard, one's a dwarf, both are socially stigmatized in society. But both too, grew up in a household where for their birth alone, one of the parental figures despised them.

Both of their births were out of their control, and are not responsible for the actual issue each have. Jon is not responsible for Catelyn's issues with Ned having a child with another woman when married, and Tyrion is not responsible for the horrible but not abnormal tragedy of a mother dying in childbirth. But both Catelyn and Tywin instead of coming to terms with those issues seperately, mix the two and put that ire on the child who did nothing wrong.

Which effected the manner in which they grew up and how they go about their lives. I think too since I think Jaime might also see aspects of his younger self in Jon, it puts Jaime in a very strange position where he now essentially has to picture his life were the father who always favoured him, now hate him the most, as Tyrion experianced and it doesn't sit right.

He's clearly never been alright with the way his sister and father treated Tyrion, but I think there was a disconnect since he only had to watch. Now that he sees himself in Jon, he too has to imagine a version of his life where he goes through this stigmatized childhood raised in a home under a parental figure who hates them for something out of their control.

Jaime's dynamic with Catelyn is always fascinating to me, how there is something about her that he is drawn too. The way he tells her truth about Bran the moment she truly asked, the way he becomes honest about being with Cersei when he has thus denied it to everyone else including her son. The way I think it's pretty obvious he does in fact find her attractive and enjoys the fact that she is willing to engage in his verbal sparring, the way he later enjoys also about Brienne.

But then there's that conversation. Talking about what he did to Torrhen Karstark, talking about him being the Kingslayer only to have Jaime give a speech about the vows he swore were always bound to conflict with eachother, and spins it into a mocking toast where he pretty much proudly declares he does not regret killing King Aerys II in any way (foreshadowing the later reveal about why he killed him and how his lack of regret is tied directly to the fact that he did it so save the lives of hundreds of thousands). Then Catelyn really has no rebuttal, it's a very unsettling moment where he mocks celebrating "And to the sword I shoved in his back" and how without that context she has no grasp of why he is like this.

So she says "You are a man without honour."

Now, it's easy to connect her accusing Jaime of lacking honor back to her late husband considering Ned Stark was known as one of the most honorable men of their age. But, he could've said anything. Jaime could have gone ANY route to make a slight right back against Catelyn about her husband and honour, the last time they spoke like this he made it about his death. He could've done it again, say something similar to the way Stannis later states it to Jon, "Honour got your father killed."

But he doesn't. He immediately brings up Jon. He doesn't get right to the burning climax of his words, that if he has no honour for being a Kingslayer then she should remember her honourable husband cheated on her and had a bastard child. But he doesn't really talk about Ned. He talks about Jon.

About how he knows that Catelyn never loved that boy, and in fact, only hated him. (Also tying beautifully into next season where Catelyn laments with a genuine shame and guilt about when Jon got the pox as a baby and her promise of motherhood). He digs deep into the fact that she didn't just not pretend to love him, she hated him. He nearly growls that line at her "You hated that boy, didn't you?"

Then he gets to the end, saying with a similar anger that to her, all Jon was, was a walking reminder of her husbands infidelity.

And you're right. Everyday he watched his father look at Tyrion as only a reminder that his wife died giving birth to him. And how both Tywin and Catelyn punished both the respective children over it and their status already as a dwarf or bastard had put that hatred into a burning spotlight for all to see.

But, because he sees him younger self partially in Jon, and all Jaime has had thus far is basically a full year of being the Starks prisoner, he's had nothing but alone time to stew on all of this. And now, that hatred he was forced to watch the brother he loves go through, he has to imagine what if it was him, because the guy he sees his own younger self in, did in fact go through something just like that.

And I think it makes him angry. Not even necessarily at Catelyn, but almost moreso at Tywin. As when they reuinte by season four, there is nothing but conflict between them until the very end, they never have a scene where Jaime isn't pushing back against Tywin when it's clear he's likely not acted this outwardly defiant towards him before.

And I think you're right, because being forced to imagine what his life would've looked like putting himself in Jons shoes, he realizes that it's exactly the life his own brother has always gone through.

And this probably fuels a lot of why Jaime fights so hard for Tyrion to get through this trial alive, and why when his trial by combat ends in a loss, he does his final act of love and helps him escape. He can no longer turn a blind eye to his fathers hatred for him, because imagining himself in Jons shoes, he realizes that he didn't do enough for Tyrion before, but he will now.

Catelyn's hatred for Jon is the thing that pushed him to the Wall, and Jaime at least can look at the guy who he sees himself in and thinks, at least he got out. He got himself out before it was too late.

And now he sees Tyrion at the end of his own rope and thinks, Tyrion can't get himself out, so Jaime will be the one to do so.

I hope you know, you've just opened up a whole new sector of obsessive media analysis in my head where I will now be further psychoanalyzing Jaime Lannisters character, only now his scenes with Tyrion as well add a completely new perspective onto those parallels with Jon.

And while everyone following this blog is now living in dread of my new endless potential of Jon and Jaime rambles, now we can add Jaime and Jon parallel rambles with the new segment of how does Tyrion fit into all of this.

My capacity for asoiaf brainrot has no limit it seems.

[yoyoyuri]

spoilers for 8-33 post battle under cut

OH MY GOD FINALLY

Shut the fuck up That is Hong Lu who is Human And Not Ur Camera

IS THAT YURI

Solitude steadfast lingering

loneliness regret anticipation

conflict anguish courage

longing melancholy warmth

passion adventure ferocity

futility determination love

exhilaration tragedy excitement

that’ was a cool demonstration of the cantos

Yes Dante speak your truth and enlighten us with your prosperous words

Aw… Shuckaroonies!

ok

They all care about eachother sm srop🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

“One end… was always just the starting line for something new” absolute peak cinema

faust let hong lu choose his name

AAAAAAAA THE BABY HONG LU IN THE REFLECTIOJ

dante’s so good at their job omfg

sorry this musics really nice sounding HIS

his

THE EGO

THE EGO

did he make a portal

or its like a reflection

ITS

OH MY TOOD CASSIE SOUNDS SO GOOD HERE

Jahsamahahsnamanaujwmams

NO THIS IS SO

aarhus is so good

he th

THE WATER FALL

is it washing his grandma away

THIS IS SO PEAK OH MY FODDDDD

i NEED to rewatch that i was too distracted typing (AGAIN.)

golden bough retrieved.

doing more than just witnessing.!

YES!!! ITS THE PEOPLE!!!!!!

That Was Freaking Amazing

WHAT IS HE LOOKING FOR NOW

IS that HOW THEY SEE THEOUGH HONG LUS EYE?

well thanks jia huan

wait was that a belly mention

XICHUN OH NO

GUCK I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

lei heng just DIE BRO

Like for how long we were in there i thought there’d be a winner by now

IS THAT A SMILE

LIN DAIYU

shes stills afe

WOOOO

dang he’s all bloody yet theres barely a scratch on jia qius sprite

what a way to beg for ur life.

what the hell are these Stars thet keep talkin abiut

Hit me.

well okay

placed it lightly

rings of light around (i still dk what those are)

WHAT THEFUCK

what DO U MEANT GENTLY

THAT

What THE FUCK

DANTE DONT DESCRIBE IT LIKE THAT

out of everyone who couldve died in this canto he was one of the LAST ONES i expected. i thought he’d come back for revenge like ricardo or smt

welp

kani i hope ur happy with this outcome u didnt seem to like his boss fight🙂

The Pinky

I thought he was the thumb🤨🤨

i’m gonna act like i have a single idea of what this is

WEIS ALIVE!!!!!!!! WOOPEE!!!!!!!!

OMG ZILUS SAFE

did ryōshū just speak english or is that how they say minimalistic

Q Corp???? Is this Canto 9s Place?????

HES A PINKY????

pinky’s such a funny word how are these lot the really dangerous ones

ofc dante will

bc they are dante the great

and every time smt happens they do some life changing speech and bring them back

One Of Them Seeks To Walk The Path Of asura???

i heard this meant wrath and violence and HES LOOKING AT RYOSHU

On her never drawn sword.

Okay guys yk how lei heng said that if ryoshu wanted to win she couldve unsheathed that sword just how STRONG IS SHE

edit: ok maybe i interpreted it wrong it might just be more like a “????? why aren’t u unsheathing that sword??????? don’t u want to win???????” kinda like

Canto 9😁😁😁😁😁: hi

i feel like this happy ending for canto 8 is just some ominous bells type shit for whatever they’re gonna give us for canto 9 or maybe im just biased bc its ryoshu❌

i hope that he will enjoy the joys of kiting once more

the sinners sihoukettes are so recognisable

well only my favs

no i don’t wanna think about losing our family of 12

as Hong Lu

that’s so nice awwwww

PASS ON

WOOOOOO

Someone said this sounds like a yaoi opening

I HEAR IT

Are they even in the bus????

trmember when ppl thiught he’d distort

this is so????? happy?????? like i’m genuinely so happy for him he can finally be human

omg the mili songs called tian tian

WEI AND XICHUN ARE HERE TOO

DONQUI HEATH AND RODYA DRINKING

its alright!

i love the its alright part of the song

LIN DAIYUS HERE TOO

This was amazing ohbmy goodness

do we at least get a cutscene for the end or is it just.

is that a no..?🥺

what would demian even say to us if he was here

wait we do get one

WHAT MISSION DO WE HAVE NOW

is it taxes

WHAT ARE THEY TALKING AHOUT

ISHMAEL TOO?????

THEYRE TRAINING HER?????

oh this intervallo gonna be hilarious

SHE SAID THE THROW UO FOOD AGAIN LIKE IN THE INTERVALLO

FIN!

Bro i thought we said FIN!

It’s so Dark????

XUE BAOCHAI STAY SAFE?!????

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

what do u MEAN BY THAT

[calypsotastic]

Some of my favourites and least favourite relationship tropes

Enemies To Lovers:

Even though I'll admit it's kinda overrated, It's one of my favorites. The (often sexual) tension between the two characters and how their detestation for each other develops into sweet caresses and cuddles always catch me off guard. This trope also can apply to many different type of media's and fiction which is why I love it so much.

Star-crossed Lover:

Probably the most underrated trope in my opinions. Even though most people indulge in romance for the fluff rather than the tragedy, The Star-crossed really indulges me by how it captivates the determination to defy logic and fate even if it inevitably fails and it leads to an interesting read

Right Person, Wrong Time:

Same at the previous one, but instead, they were always meant for each other yet couldn't due to special circumstances. I quite enjoy imagining how they could've been if that had more time and met eachother earlier or later throughout the story. Again, tragedy is too underrated and needs more appreciation.

Witch x Witch Hunter:

It's such a niche trope, yet I believe we need more of it and have some gay and saphics ones for once. Usually this trope follows an Enemies To Lovers storyline which I already consume once every 5 hours and add magic and tension between the two and you one fucking masterpiece, why is this trope so niche.

Supernatural Being X Supernatural Being:

One pet peeve I have with fantasy is that whenever there is a relationship there is always atleast one who is a basic ol human being. It frustrates me that it's never something like Elf x Tiefling or Dwarf x Changling or Kobold x Dragonborn or a fucking Lovecraftian squid and a biblically accurate angel , on of the individuals is always a human being.Humans are already fucking narcissist. I want to indulge in unconventional romance, romance which delves you in a fantasy vast away from our plane of our existence. I want to see beings who most perceive as vile and vicious being loving with eachother. For me the less humanoid it is, the more intriguing it is for me.

Last Minute Love Interest:

Don't you detest when you're reading about the intimate relationship between two characters, their woes, hopes and vulnerabilities revealed to eachother, the distance between them tightens closer and closer. THEN FOR FUCKING REASON ANOTHER CHARACTER WHO SUDDENLY BECOMES REVELANT SNATCHES ONE OF THE CHARACTERS AND YOU'RE LEFT FUCKING UNSATISFIED. I'm sorry but this is quite possibly the worst trope of all of literature and just a cheap gag that ruins the point of what I'm reading. If you want me to become invested in a relationship between two characters, you need to develop some time, and give each of them revelancy, NOT JUST SOME LAST MINUTE PLOT TWIST THAT DIMINISHES THE 300 PAGES AND HOURS OF MY MISERABLE LIFE. Half of the time the guy who shows up last second doesn't even look conventionally attractive at all.

Arranged Marriage:

Irl Arranged Marriages are one of the sickening things an individual meant to care for you can commit. I hate that this ship glorifies arranged marriages as 99% you're going to end up with some creepy ass middle man and you're viewed as an doll, incapable of autonomy and useful for economic or political gain rather than an individual who should get to love who they actually love.

The Brother's Bestfriend:

In actuality it's not that bad but I personally find it putrid, if you know anything about siblings, it's that them and their friends are viles and disgusting cretins, scruffling around the house like cockroaches, riddled with cheeto dust. There's also usually the weird age gap and don't you think it's awkward to date someone whose also simultaneously your sibling best friend and worse if they become your ex.

Possessive Boyfriends:

Now I'm not talking about the jealous boyfriend archetype or even the protective one but rather the ones who treat their signicant others as possession rather than individuals. I fucking hate the line "I own you" or "You're mine" because it signifies authority and superiority something I believe shouldn't be prevalent in a relationship. It's worse when the individual won't allow their SO to go out with friends or do their own things cause inevitably at the day its say it with me A B U S E.

[aperfectsonnet]

Been thinking a lot about connecting with people and how bad I am with it. And if my whole life I’ve been wrong about what a friendship should look like.

Maybe I feel like such an outsider because I’ve misunderstood what to expect. What should a friendship be? My closest friends are my sister and an ex boyfriend, not really prime examples of showing that I can connect with a stranger over time.

I don’t know if my expectations are unrealistic. I’ve hung out with other people and have had fun but it always feels on a superficial level… but maybe that’s what friends are? You hang out and chat and have a few drinks and that’s it. And don’t get me wrong, I can do that and enjoy it. But is that all there is?

Is it wrong I want to feel enmeshed with another person on a deeper level? Sharing all our lives, sharing our boredom, our laughs. Talk about our pains. The heartbreaking tragedies of our life. Our fears for the future. Fucking confronting eachother when we’re wrong. I don’t even know what I’m looking for or want. Just something more.

And I get tired feeling like this. I feel like I always whine and bitch about how lonely I am, but almost nothing helps. Sometimes I genuinely do try to connect but afterwards I just want to cry. It makes me feel worse in the end. I gave a genuine attempt and yet I somehow don’t feel seen, I don’t feel any less alone I just feel like an alien.

And I look back on my life and see that I’ve almost always been this way. What happened to me? I’ve always been and shy anxious girl since elementary school, but I don’t remember loneliness. It began at age 11. That’s when all my school friendships began falling apart. The friendships continued out of habit, not out of genuine desire. But it was me, something wrong with me. People liked me, people were nice to me. I’ve never once been bullied or treated badly by other girls. People wanted to be around me.

It was me. Something broken in me, I don’t know what. I lost the ability to reach out, to open up, to be a genuine me, to be able to have fun with other girls. Slowly and surely overtime my middle school friends faded, and then my highschool friends. But it was I who did the distancing. What the fuck happened to me at that age??? I haven’t had a close female friend since middle school and it hurts.

Even around 16-18 years old I reconnected with all those childhood friends- Lily, Rose, Aby, Sarah, Andy etc. I would try to hang out with them. But I couldn’t have fun. I didn’t desire to be around them. They spoke but I couldn’t relate. It was just lost. And I never quite found that feeling again. It makes me want to sob, I don’t know if I can ever get that back from anybody.

I think it’s just me. I’m too sensitive, I want too much, I want more of people. I want to be there for somebody, I want them there for me. What’s wrong with me.

I’m picky about people. I have a small range of people I genuinely like. I wish I didn’t but I can’t help it. Few people catch my eye and I actually enjoy their company. So this makes all of this even more fucking difficult. There has to be some of kind of twin sparks to begin with in order to be friends, no?

[noellevanious]

Hey so I  just finished TAZ: Amnesty, and I have a lot to say about it!

to summarize: I really liked Amnesty, actually! If I were to rate both Balance and Amnesty on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being perfect, Balance would be 8, and Amnesty would be 9. Also, spoilers (of course!) 

The Story - The Bureau of Balance vs. Amnesty Lodge and Sylvane 

So the biggest reason I like Amnesty more than I liked Balance: the story, IMO is just way better and more interesting.  

The pilot/pitch episode right after TAZ ended gave the series a serious Gravity Falls vibe (especially from that first season where it was episodic Monster stuff, it was almost exactly like “The McElroys Do Gravity Falls”), but there were definitely interesting tidbits (Duck’s entire character was excellent – more on that later), and as it went on and the world(s) were fleshed out, I think Griffin hit a really nice balance of ideas that were clearly based around existing concepts but with his own, interesting spin on everything. 

Obviously, this point is imbalanced (pun intended) for Balance – A goofy DND 5E session with a pre-made campaign, turning into arguably the most popular Actual Play fiction podcast in recent history, vs. 5 years later when the creators set out to intentionally make a story-rich plot-driven epic – but I still feel it’s a valid point. I’m not relistening to Balance any time soon, if ever, because I just was not interested in the plot at all.  

I like Taako, and I like the goofiness that occurs in TAZ, especially in the one-shots, but I just never got on-board with the story. It’s almost definitely personal preference, though, so if you enjoyed Balance’s story, I’m glad! But it just wasn’t interesting. The contrast of Justin/Travis/Clint doing their own thing and constantly killing people was a lot of fun and carried a lot of the episodes, especially later. Off the top of my head, I liked the following beats – the Davenport revelation, Taako’s entire story, and the Red Robe twist – but pretty much everything else bored me at best, actively annoyed me at worst (I DO NOT like Lup, see the NPC section). 

But in Amnesty, I was constantly at the very least intrigued, if not enjoying the experience, and I generally had no issues with the story’s set-up or pay-off, at least until things got a bit… weird near the end.  

Again, Balance was Griffin basically writing a story every episode, so I understand the story isn’t perfect, but Amnesty to me is the culmination of his talents as a fiction writer.  

There was always a sense of intrigue, the setting and plot were both very well contained, nothing felt like it contrasted too much. The city of Kepler is a charming city, all the additions made over time such as H2-Woah That Was Fun had the goofy and odd spin that kept a nice flow between the comedy and the tragedy, and NPCs like Indred, Billy, Momma, and Minerva felt original, engaging, and appealing. Perfect marks all around from me. 

At least, until the final arc, where things just kind of go a bit crazy. It seems like Griffin really can’t avoid wanting to do a Big Blow Out the Barn Every Loose End Tied Up Finale for his works, which isn’t inherently a bad thing, but came out of nowhere to me. The entire Aliens pitting Sylvane Citizens and Earth citizens against eachother in a Scorched Earth tactic to get rid of both populations makes sense but just comes completely out of nowhere to me. It does genuinely feel like Griffin heard Justin as Duck say “it’s aliens” and go “wait…. What if it was aliens?”, even though Sylvane had already been fleshed out a great deal, and there was a lot of potential and unexplored aspects of that world.  

All that that being said, Amnesty’s story over-all is great, and while Balance’s characters work better for one-offs (as I’ve said before, the best Balance episodes are all the live one-offs – if you can ignore the audience losing their mind because Merle read what the spell he’s using does), Amnesty’s story feels more compete and full.  

 

The Characters – or, the Excellence of Duck Newton 

This is the biggest damnation I have against Balance – I didn’t like a majority of the plot-relevant characters. At all. 

I’ll start with what I’m sure most people are interested of/mad at me for – as I mentioned earlier, I hate Lup. 

I don’t care what anybody else says. To me, Lup is just transfem Taako. I have no issue with the LGBT rep in the series, and appreciate Lup being transfem, but it just felt weird that, so far into the story, Griffin introduced Taako’s sister, who was basically just Taako, and then formed a romantic relationship between her and Barry Bluejeans without really developing it at all. The umbrella plot point was good, but that could’ve been done with literally anything. 

 It’s nothing I’ll lose sleep over, I just…. Don’t like it! It didn’t add anything to the story to me. If Lup was gone, Taako and the plot would have barely been affected, at least IMO.  

Taako is a great character, and Justin does a great job fleshing him out, making him feel real, fun, and creative. I’m not as big of a fan of Merle or Magnus (though I appreciate Travis’s commitment to Magnus’s core personality), but I still like them more than most any serious or important NPC outside of Davenport.  

The one-off NPCs that show up for a single arc, and maybe make another appearance later for fanservice, are fun. Garfield is fine. The kid that helps Taako save the universe is fun. But It’s really hard for me to articulate why I dislike every other NPC outside of that clash between the goofiness and Real Play aspect and the Narrative-heavy Seriousness, and just not being interested by them.  

Anyway, back to Amnesty – I enjoyed basically every single character. 

The Player Characters – Duck Newton, Ned Chicane, and Aubrey Little – were, IMO, muuuuch better than the entire cast of Balance.  

As a person that loves to rag on Travis, I actually didn’t mind his Aubrey – I’ve heard people take issue with her being bisexual and having a lot of Travis-isms, but to me, that’s almost kind of sweet – it’s like if Travis was a bisexual Pyromancer girl. Her personality felt solid, she was enjoyable, she didn’t do anything that made me feel like Travis was just pandering, he did a good job! Would’ve loved to see more of Dr. Harris Bonkers, but small potatoes. 

Same with Ned Chicane – Contrasted against Merle, it’s no contest. I never liked the half-bit half-real thing where Merle’s entire gimmick is he’s bad at what he does. It’s not interesting, it’s annoying and creates this weird feedback loop where, if he does anything right, it apparently deserves a 5 minute applaud break or mocking by Justin. Those always grind the episode to a halt and they happen CONSTANTLY.  

But in Amnesty, Clint does a GREAT job with his characters. I think Ned is very interesting and appealing – a Con-artist that’s genuinely kind of a shithead, who’s trying to do right but has let his past control him too much, and his death is one of the more powerful moments of the series to me. Now, maybe I missed an episode or something, but it  also felt very sudden, which wouldn’t be a bad thing if Aubrey didn’t literally bring another character back from the dead earlier in the series, but even so, it’s a fitting, melancholic end to a character that, in a way, had gone too far off the deep end. It was really well done.  

After that Clint does an EVEN better job as Thacker. He was just excellent, I enjoyed every scene Thacker was in. 

And, of course, the star of the show to me, Duck Newton.  

Justin has proven that he’s easily one of the best, and funniest, actors and personalities on the internet, at least to me. Somehow, he went from Taako, a narcissistic, pacifist gay elf wizard, to a goofy forest ranger that’s awful at lying, and excelled at embodying both characters. Duck was my favorite character in Amnesty. He added so much to the levity, his bits with being awful at lying were always incredibly funny, he was just awesome. His story of being a Chosen one that doesn’t Want to be chosen was a bold choice, I loved his dynamic with Minerva and Beacon, everything was 10/10.   

Getting to the Amnesty NPCs – Everything was great about them! I can’t think of a single NPC I took issue with or groaned whenever they started talking. They all contributed to the plot, they all had their own reasoning, and characters that didn’t get a lot of develop Griffin explained – the players just didn’t interact with them much, so it’s understandable, not necessarily a flaw. 

 

The other stuff  

So I don’t end up typing another 1000 words, I’ll just run through some other points that jump to my mind about Amnesty. 

Didn’t like all the sudden relationships after the finale. Aubrey’s could’ve used a bit more developing, it felt like they crushed on eachother, halfway through they kissed, and then suddenly they’re dating at the end was bleh. Duck and Minerva make sense, but I don’t think it’s necessary to have EVERY character fall into a romantic relationship, especially after the same thing happened in Balance. They just seemed like unlikely allies, which was fine. 

I really enjoyed the contrast in Actual play, how in TAZ it feels like every story is “These three overpowered doofuses cause chaos, kill whoever they want, and literally can’t die”, and then in Amnesty, “these three charming idiots can do nothing properly, and it’s insanely lucky that they even killed the abominations”. 

I really like the music in Amnesty, the main theme is really charming, it sounds like a song off of an original trilogy Spyro game. 

Monster of the Week seems like a fun TTRPG, but I don’t think it worked well for the story. It wasn’t bad enough to impact my experience, but…. It DID feel like Griffin had to do a LOT to make sure they didn’t die during every single abomination encounter (and hell, the PCs literally did NOTHING to stop that last abomination causing the final arc). 

Conclusion 

Amnesty is great. If you want a good story with a bit of actual play TTRPG charm, I’d recommend listening to it before Balance. Balance is a classic and will go down in TTRPG podcast history, but I think Amnesty is WAY more deserving of the adaptations and TTRPG game (it’s still fucking wild that Balance is getting that, by the way). 

Thank you! 

[werewolfcave]

I apologize to my followers who are fans of TOH, and this is a matter of opinion, but genuinely I did not like the ending, and perhaps that is because I enjoy endings akin to Amphibia, and Undertale, and The Good Place, where ultimately the ending is about how nothing stays the same, you cannot hang onto everyone, and ultimately there will tragedy in your life. But the love was there. It mattered.

In Amphibia, the humans and the amphibians may never see eachother again and the humans drifted apart. There is a fundamental loss that occurred. But that does not mean none of it mattered, they changed and they grew as people. Their experiences in Amphibia, their experiences with that hardship of the inevitability of change and loss, it shaped them. It was through that loss that Anne decided to memorialize her experiences in the aquarium, it was through that change that Sasha decided to help kids through tough times because after Amphibia he had to pick up the pieces of his life himself, it was through that loss and change that Marcy found a way to connect with both fiction and reality and not live their life in escapism. It was through that loss that Sprig found a new passion, it was through that loss that Hop Pop understood that he cannot have a tight grip on his grandchildren, that inevitably they will grow up and they know how to fend for themselves, and I could go on. The loss and the change helped them grow. We knew this was going to happen. Even if we didn't want to acknowledge it.

In Undertale, even as you go alone the True Pacifist Route, you must learn that you cannot save everyone and you must let go. At the end of the True Pacifist Route, we are unable to do anything to save Asriel besides give him a comforting hug. We are unable to save Chara because they are already dead. And additionally... We must learn to let go of these characters we have come to love, because restarting the game just traps them in the underground all over again. They will only ever be free if we learn to let go and do not play the game all over again. Sans is meant to essentially hammer this in, that our interactions with the game matter and if we hang onto the game forever, all you are doing is repeatedly dooming it's residents.

In The Good Place in the final episode "Whenever You're Ready" we realize there is one last lesson we have to learn. We need to learn that nothing lasts forever, and if it did then existence would be miserable. Eventually we need to move on. Existing in permanent happiness eventually becomes existing in nothingness. It is only by there being death that life is meaningful. So one by one we watch our characters accept the happiness they have earned, and move on. In most cases it is by walking through the gate, in Tahani's case it's moving onto an entirely new stage of life, in Michael's case it's moving onto a new life altogether. Eventually you need to move on. You need to move forward. Nothing lasts forever.

And honestly, for a long time it seemed that The Owl House was going in that direction. Where Luz would have to choose one world or the other, ultimately she would have to let go. But in the end... She just. Didn't. Despite this build up of having to choose, she just... didn't have to. And I have seen takes that the ending is ultimately about how you will find a place you belong, and you will find people who love you for who you are. But... That feels almost detached from its own message because Luz is only able to find a place where she belongs in an entirely different world. What is the message there? I suppose you could read it as a metaphor for online communities and how ultimately they will feel like a world separate to yours and there is the external pressure to move onto being in the real world but... I don't think that is the metaphor here. And honestly I do not think that metaphor entirely works, as ultimately those communities are still very tied to world you live in, and that becomes increasingly obvious as you watch your friends become threatened by political turns for the worst in the places they live in. And how you helpless you feel as they suffer while you cannot reach them. There is no door to get you there. Eventually you may find your way to them but it won't be as easy as a door in your backyard.

The reason I do not like the ending is because I find myself wondering, as someone who related to Luz in the beginning with her neurodivergence and how that socially isolated her, what about the real people like Luz? What hope do they have if the only place Luz could find that loved her for who she is was a place unreal. A wholly separate realm.

Maybe I am just too big of a fan of realistic stories that I can apply the lessons of to my real life. Maybe I am searching for the catharsis of knowing that someone will love you for who you are in this world, even as you find yourself separated from those who are a world a way (or in the metaphor I proposed, feel like they're a world away). But I suppose after all that build up of a choice that had to be made, of Luz having to prep herself, yet managing to start to grasp the tools to survive as she is, it was disappointing to see that it just. Worked out. It feels like watching someone so similar to you achieve something you are entirely unable to.

But again. This is just a matter of opinion.

[lavenderr-starrs]

I probably could have worded this better I dunno 😭 this is this first time I’ve genuinely cared/liked a ship this much before so i dunno how to word it well I’ve never done something like this 🧍‍♀️

For me it’s not specifically romantic Chemisty, but I still enjoy interpreting them romantically! It might be because I’m on that AroAce spectrum and relate heavily to furina and I have a habit of making the characters I love and relate too join me XDD (But hey Neuvifuri is like water it can take any shape Lol) what I love about Neuvifuri as a pairing is after the AQ and the big reveal of Focalors Foca-lore, thats when I started to ship them lol.

I love the tragedy about it! you have Furina, a Human who has been cursed with immortality as long as her Divine half is still alive having to play a role as an Archon, and she can’t tell anyone what she’s doing or what she really is or Celestia might place a worse fate then the prophecy it has planned for the hydro archon. There’s no way any human being can survive 500 years without ageing and have the lives of many hanging on her lies and performances and remain sane. (And Neuvillette has probably understood that more then anyone)

Then we have Neuvillete the Hydro Sovereign, who began to care for the people of Fontaine when “Focalor” showed him how the human world “isn’t so bad”. Furina showed him the people of Fontaine and showed him the lives they live and they became eachothers constant as they worked together, Furina did all of this while Neuvillette was unaware she was suffering.

Not only that she couldn’t be fully honest with him for as long as she plays her role so they never were truly close even if she so wanted to. Neuvillette could tell Furina was hiding something but never thought the secret she was hiding was this big. They never could truly be close to eachother even if they wanted too and that’s just some good angst right there 👌👌

Neuvillette has nothing but the highest respect for her, which is just so sweet because Furina fully believes that it’d be best for the both of them that they should go their separate ways, right? She doesn’t need Neuvillette for anything now that she’s fully human and has 500 years worth of money she saved that’ll last her for good and is willing to learn how to cook and has been going well at it through her own pace.

Neuvillette just wants to be by her side now after learning what she went through for the people of Fontaine he wants to be someone furina can rely on and wants nothing but the best for her! Saying how he hopes to see her take the stage again, and her new home being close by his office so he can check on her if she may ever need anything. with the curtains to her eternal performance finally down they can be something closer, hell she was even the first person he granted a vision too!! Start the Hurt/Comfort Slow burn y’all 💪💪 it’s just the the gentle Repsect and adoration Neuvillette has for her now and the uncertainty Furina has with the two of them that makes me wanna bawl my eyes out T3T

Neuvifuri nation I forgot to tell y'all that I did Furina's SQ with the intent of seeing what all the Neuvifuri hubbub was about, and I regret to inform you all that I still don't get it. 😔 I tried. In my head they feel more like two halves of the same person to me than anything else. They don't feel like friends, they don't feel familial, and they don't feel romantic. They're a secret fourth thing (darn secret nth thing syndrome >:/).

I actually genuinely wanna understand because in fanart and stuff it's such a pretty pairing and I wish I got it like y'all did but I just don't see it.

Anyway, what about it is appealing to y'all? I don't mean this sarcastically. I mean it genuinely. Tell me all about it! Infodump as much as you want! I'm a Neuvia fan, but I love analyzing character interactions and behaviors and I'd really enjoy discussing this, so feel free!

[pure-kirarin]

«Forget me not» - Sabo x reader

Summary : Sabo comes back after a mission only to find out that Y/N died a few days prior to that. Nobody told him out of fear of destabilizing him.  Warnings: This is very angsty. Death. Tw. 

A/N: Feel free to skip this part. This piece is REALLY emotional to me. I wrote it in this spot (click :D) . Pink petals were falling on me as I cried and typed those world, putting all my pathos and angst into them. Then, suddenly, rain started pouring. Prepare your tissue paper and enjoy.

**********************

You came into my life like a breeze, only to fade to dust.

Do I wish I have never met you ? Do I wish you have never came into my life if it was to leave me this way ? 

Am I this weak, am I a coward, am I an excuse for a human being ? 

If it meant that you didn’t die that day, away from my sight...

Then yes. I wish that our paths have never crossed.

Then you would be full of life somewhere, next to someone else...Someone else that isn’t me, but you would be breathing, the sun would be shining, my world would be turning, knowing that you, my sunshine, my universe, are alive. 

Maybe in another life, maybe in another dimension I would be able to make it up to you. To get on my knees and beg your pardon for not being there for you.

If only I could touch you, If only I could see your face, my angel, one last time. Just one time. 

If only. If only. If only. 

If only I have been there to save you. If only I have been there to hold you in my arms, to apease the pain you must have felt. To carry the burden off your frail shoulders. To hold your little hand in mine as you took your last breath. 

You left me without a goodbye, maybe because you knew that I would have died with you that day ? Maybe because you didn’t accept to say goodbye to me anyway ? How brave of you. How thoughtful. 

But this thoughtfulness is what is killing me today because I can’t see your sweet smile. Because I can’t kiss those soft lips, my nectar, the only thing that was keeping me alive.

Once again I wasn’t there. 

---------------

« (Y/N) ! I am back ! That mission is finally done-- everyone, I am back. Where is (Y/N) ? Why is everyone here ? Why is everyone dressed up in black ? »

It was fall, the perfect season to die. The sky was clouded, the trees were shedding their leaves, ready to die and to be reborn. Sabo came back from a one month mission on a far island. The mission was conducted successfully, he was holding a flower bouquet, white lilies, your favourite flowers. What funest flowers, he always found your tastes a bit eerie.

The flower of chastity, the flower of death. 

But he wasn't aware at that time, he didn't know about the symbolism of these flowers just like he was ignorant of what tragedy has happened.

Everyone was in the hideout, Dragon, Ivankov, Hack, Karasu, Koala...Everyone but you. They were all dressed in black, as if they were mourning. A gloomy beam was floating around the castle, as if it was souless.

They looked at eachother, as if they were waiting for someone to talk, to say a word. Koala was the first to come closer to him. Tears started running down her eyes ;

« -(Y/N) won't be able to greet you Sabo...(Y/N) passed away two days ago...All my condoleances. »

At that moment, earth started rotating, he saw his whole world collapse, shredded into a myriad of lily petals. At first, nothing came out, not even a sound. Then came a laughter, a mad, insane laughter. Not one of disbelief, no, but one of refusing to believe. 

One of a man trying to fool himself. One of a man that smelled death but decided to be both blind and deaf.

« (Y/N) ? (Y/N) come one, I know that you are hiding haha. You can't be pranking me like this ! Koala, you almost got me here. Where is (Y/N) ? I really want to see her. »

The young woman pinched her lips, her voice was nothing but a long and painful sob ;

-Sabo...(Y/N) is not here anymore. She caught the red plague when we were on our way to the island. She...We couldn't do anything for her ! I am so sorry Sabo...I am so sorry... 

-Koala....He put his hand on her back in disbelief, then started shaking her, Everyone, come on say something ! She can't be dead. It's not true. She can't be dead.

Then, all I could remember was white, immaculate white, an omnipresence of white, a color that I was starting to hate. The same white of your favourite flowers, the same white that snatched you away from life. The same white enveloping the body of the dead. The white of the shroud.

And I could swear that I saw you, that I head your voice calling for me from afar.

« Sabo..Sabo... »

But it wasn't you.

His eyes were extremely heavy. His first reflex was to look for you next to him, but you weren't there. It was Koala.

« Thanks god. I had a terrible nightmare, Koala. »

He looked for something, anything in the big, blue eyes, he didn't know what he looked for, but whatever it was he didn't find it. She looked down and said ;

« I am sorry it wasn't a nightmare Sabo....(Y/N) left this letter for you. I..will leave you alone now..Please do call me when you need me, alright ? » She says with a gentle smile and closes the door behind her.

With shaky hands he takes the letter. He brings it to his lips like it's a substitute to your body. Your perfume was still on it. Your writing was cursive and shaky, he almost didn't recognized it.

« (…)

And from my ashes, I want to be reborn like a phoenix, my phoenix. Do you remember ? It's how I called you once we found each other...I thought you were dead, and there you were born again, like a beautiful mythical bird, from the ashes.

I want you to spread mine at sea, Sabo. This way I will be always immortal. Always.

Don't shed a tear for me, this is how it was meant to be.

And because my life stops here, I want you to have a happy life.

I want you to live two times longer, laugh two times harder...Once for you and once for me.

I want you to continue further. I want you to live and I want to live within you, so please don't die Sabo.

I will be immortal as long as you don't forget me.

Don't forget about me Sabo. People don't die when they cease to exist, people die when they are forgotten.

Don’t forget about me, Sabo.  »

And then he cried, for the first time you made him cry but not being here anymore. He wanted the only tears to shed for you to be ones of joy but they were tears of grief.

He couldn't comprehend it, that now he will never hear your voice calling for him anymore. That he won't get to caress your hair no more.

Why did you leave me alone ? Wasn't it easier to take me with you ? Why did you deny me of seeing you just one more time ? Why didn't anyone tell me ?

It wasn't sadness, it wasn't anger, it was a whole new feeling that he didn't know existed, a feeling that made him wish he were six feet under the ground.

It was raw, a feeling of irreality. It didn't make sense. How dare anyone live and not you ? How could you, his darling, die out of everyone else ?

How strange to think that only a month a way you were in his arms, and now all he could embrace was the void, your lack.

He was just starting to get over Ace's death. He was just starting to live for you. For your dreams of a happy family, for your childish ways, for your lighthearted teasing, for your burning kisses.

But nothing of this remained but a piece of paper with shaky handwriting and a room full of memories.

For days the memories lived within him, he swore he could've seen you by the frame of the door. He woke up in sweat searching for you only to discover your absence. Your memory was now a burden and the fear of forgetting even more.

« Don't forget about me, Sabo. »

And there he was, in the ocean, spreading what remained of you in the waves. Lilies were floating. White lilies....If only you could reborn from your ashes like a phenix.

He didn't know how to swim but it didn't matter. He felt himself sink in the water, disappearing, merging with your ashes, making one with you.

*********************

« Don't forget about me, Sabo. »

It has been two years now. Two years and the handwriting seemed both foreign and familiar. It has been two years since (Y/N) died, but he didn't remember.

« Don't forget about me, Sabo. »

He reads again, trying to get a recollection of your face, but he couldn't. 

What only remained what a vague feeling of déjà-vu when he saw white lilies and a strong guilt for a death that he has never caused.  

« Don't forget about me, Sabo. »

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember. 

[softyoongiionly]

Can I Make a Mess Now?

Jungkook’s never had sex before but, after realizing that he’s falling in love with you, he thinks he wants that to change.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Virgin! Jungkook, established relationship au, college au, smut, fluff.

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: This is a part 2 to Will You Make a Mess Now? Please please please let me know what you think! Love you

Warnings: smut, language, 18+ only please.

Winter break never lasts long enough does it?

A few short weeks of bliss and then-

BOOM.

You’re forced out of the warm and lazy cocoon of holiday spirit and, back into the rigidity of modern education.

It’s not that you don’t enjoy your studies, it’s just that after nearly four years of exams and, group projects that never go exactly as planned; you are starting to feel burnt out.

It also doesn’t help that you spent the majority of your winter break sleeping over at your boyfriends house.

You got used to the weight of his head on your chest.

You got used to running your fingers through his hair; an act that lulled both of you to sleep.

You got used to waking up beside him every morning.

When the semester started once again, the two of you agreed that you’d reserve overnight stays to weekends only.

As encouraging as you were of each other’s success, copious amounts of alone time is a (delightful) distraction.

Especially since the two of you began exploring the boundaries of your relationship.

At the beginning of winter break, Jungkook had revealed to you that not only was he a virgin but, he’s never been touched before.

After a bit of discussion, he decided that he wanted you to change that.

And boy did you…

You still can’t get the images of him falling apart beneath the firm grasp of your hand out of your head.

It’s arguably one of the best things you’ve ever seen.

Jungkook’s room became the safe haven for exploration.

Many cold nights were spent underneath his duvet, touching on each other until things eventually got heated enough for you to take turns making eachother cum.

Happy Holidays indeed.

There was one night in particular that things got a little out of hand.

In the heat of the moment, Jungkook had torn off your t-shirt, leaving the two of you to make out in your underwear.

He positioned you on his lap with a low whine in his throat and, at the feeling of your heat pressing directly into his dick; he almost lost it right then and there.

It took everything in him to keep his hands steady.

To keep them from ripping your panties off…

However, he succeeded and although, it was painful to slow things down, he knew it was the right thing to do.

The only problem is, that night increased his desire to a level he’s never felt before.

He knows he wants you to be his first but; he’s so particular and, so sensitive to his surroundings that he wants to make sure everything is perfect.

Perfection is a concept he frequently struggles with and, although he’s lessened his standards over the years, he still finds himself reverting back to his old habits.

Losing his virginity is a big deal for him.

He can’t help that.

And because it carries so much weight, he feels the need to hold off until the moment is 100% right.

But, how does he define such a thing?

He knows he wants you.

He knows you want him.

He knows he’s falling in love with you…

So, how is a perfect moment established?

Can you plan it?

Jungkook doesn’t know but, he’s starting to believe that he can’t.

His brothers don’t understand his issues.

Seokjin’s been with his girlfriend for two years and, every time she comes to visit, he can hear her moaning through his bedroom door.

An event that continuously scars him.

Namjoon is engrossed in his studies so, he doesn’t make time for relationships.

But one time, when he was looking for his laptop, Jungkook walked in on him getting his dick sucked.

He’s still never gotten that image out of his head.

Hoseok literally attended an orgy two months ago.

Jimin’s dating his childhood sweetheart.

Taehyung stays over at the sorority house at least twice a week.

And, last but not least, Yoongi frequently walks around sporting various love bites and scratch marks after a night with his girlfriend.

Jungkook’s spoken with his hyungs’ regarding sex a few times but, it’s never a conversation he initiates.

He’s far too shy to openly speak about these things.

But from what he’s gathered, sex is top notch.

None of his brothers could think of anything that feels as good, although Yoongi did cite sleeping as a close second.

After a long week of lectures and tedious lab work, Jungkook has finally decided that he wants to lose his virginity.

Or at least…he’s ready to talk about it…

He starts off guns a blazing: he sends you a text trying to appear nonchalant despite the fact that his heart is currently pounding in his chest.

Jungkook: do you want to come over tonight? 

Jungkook: there’s a new season of that anime we started watching :)

His message does the same bit of damage on your heart because, although you two have been dating for quite some time, you still get excited at the thought of seeing him.

You: plzzz

You: this first week has killed me

You: I need to relax so bad

You: my brain cell count has dropped to dangerously low amount.

Jungkook chuckles to himself, shaking his head at your response.

Jungkook: wow

Jungkook: lower than normal???

Jungkook: that’s pretty bad jagi :/

You giggle, already gathering your toothbrush and, various other items needed for an overnight stay.

You:  I know

You: it’s a tragedy : (

Despite the playful banter between the two of you, Jungkook is furiously moving around his room, cleaning every inch of it.

He’s dusting the shelves, vacuuming his floor, rearranging his figurines on his desk.

He feels like a mad man…

Jungkook: lol you’re ridiculous

Jungkook: you can come over around 7 if you’re ready; I’m just finishing up an assignment.

Jungkook: miss you <3

Your boyfriend is literally sour patch kid.

You: miss you too 

You: falling asleep without you sucks

You: 10/10 would not recommend

Jungkook smiles, gripping his phone in his hand, a flurry of emotions stirring in his stomach.

Jesus, he really likes you…

Jungkook: stay the night then

Jungkook: I’ll make sure you sleep better tonight

He feels proud of himself.

He initiated you coming over, he’s holding a playful/flirty conversation with you, and he’s totally not freaking out at the fact that he’s going to have to tell you he’s ready to have sex.

Right?

Okay, the last part is definitely a lie but he’s just gonna go with it.

You: on my way :)

Jungkook receives this text from you roughly two hours later when he’s getting out of the shower.

He deep cleaned his bedroom, put fresh bedding on his mattress, scrubbed every inch of his body and, now he was standing in front of the mirror with nothing but a towel on his hips.

He takes time slathering lotion all over his skin, hoping that you like the vanilla-honey scent before applying a copious amount of deodorant.

He shaved in the shower, taking his time to remove the bit of hair around his crotch because it makes him feel cleaner.

Jungkook’s hair is getting longer too so, he’s been putting leave in conditioner on his ends to keep them healthy and spritzing his hair with anti-frizz serum.

After roughly 20 minutes of primping, he gets another text from you as he’s pulling on his sweat pants.

You: Here <333

Jungkook feels his stomach twist whilst reading your message.

Here goes nothing…

You’re standing outside the door of Jungkook’s house, dressed in a hoodie and a pair of leggings.

Comfy works out for you because, it requires minimal effort and, it’s also your boyfriend’s favorite look on you.

So, it’s a win win.

Given the fact that you and Jungkook usually end up fooling around, you took the time to exfoliate and shave whilst you were in the shower.

You may have also worn a new lacy red bra that had arrived in the mail earlier that day…

But, who knows?

“Yahhh there she is…”

You instantly light up as Jungkook eagerly swings open his front door, quickly pulling you into his grasp.

He smells amazing but, he feels even better and, you waste no time in pulling him close to you.

“I missed you.” You mutter into his hair

He grins, hugging you a bit tighter and, ushering you inside, “Missed you too, are you cold at all?”

Stepping through the threshold of his door, you notice that he’s freshly showered himself, his hair is damp and stringy but, it frames his face perfectly

“A little bit but, I plan on using you for warmth really soon so, I’m good.”

His hand is intertwined with yours as he leads you up to his room and, his face lights up with a smile.

“I got a new duvet on Tuesday, it’s really warm but,” He places a hand on his chest. “,you can still use me though, I missed having you here.”

Jungkook mutters the last half of his sentence, his cheeks warming up at his confession before he pushes open the bedroom door.

You don’t comment on his shyness but, it makes you smile and lean into him a little more.

His room is always clean but, the fresh scent of his disinfectant spray is slightly more pungent than normal. It isn’t a harsh smell; it’s a soft lavender cleaner that he special orders from Korea.

He absolutely hates the scent of bleach.

“It’s a nice color huh?”

Jungkook gestures to the muted grey of his new bedding, which is carefully placed over his mattress.

“I love it, it’s very you.” You smile as your eyes scan the room, “it matches your furniture really well too.”

His eyes light up, “Yeah, yeah that’s why I got it. I knew it would look good with the- um the desk and the dresser and stuff. See, I knew you’d notice that…you always notice things like that.”

Before you can respond he’s speaking again, his tone slightly uneven, “Um do you want to lay down? I know you said you were cold. I can hold you if you want-“ He grimaces at his word choice, not fully understanding why his nerves are taking over already, “not that  I don’t want to or anything. I do, I just…I know you’re cold.”

You touch your hand to his cheek, bringing his wandering eyes back to yours, “Are you ok?”

Jungkook swallows, his eyes locking with yours, “Y-Yeah, I just don’t want you to be cold…”

You’re not convinced.

Although the two of you have only been together for 6 months, you like to think you’ve gotten to know Jungkook really well. He isn’t exactly a closed book and, when he’s nervous about something, it’s fairly obvious.

“Are you suuuure?”

The question is paired with a soft kiss to his lips and, Jungkook can’t help but smile when you do, his posture relaxing slightly.

“I’m sure, I’m just happy you’re here. It was weird not seeing you all week.” He tucks a stray hair behind your ear before, pecking your lips.

Again, you’re not convinced but, you don’t want to pry.

He’ll tell you when he’s ready.

The matter of his worries is dropped and, Jungkook quickly (and neatly) pulls back the covers so, that the two of you can slip underneath them.

Moments later, you’re nestled against your boyfriend’s side, draping your arm over your stomach.

“You smell good…” You mutter against his sweater, nuzzling gently against the material.

Jungkook grins triumphantly, silently patting himself on the back for his choice of lotion.

“Thank you,” His chest vibrates with the sound of his voice, “so do you…”

With that, he tentatively raises a hand towards your hair, allowing his fingertips to brush over the top of your head.  

The anime begins playing but, you’re more focused on the way his fingers feel, as you melt into the soft fabric of his sweatshirt.

And halfway through the first episode, Jungkook’s motions are beginning to take a toll on you.

But not in the way you’d normally expect…

He’s smiling softly, admiring the way you sigh at his touch, taking time to play with the ends of your hair before massaging gently at your scalp.  

“You’re going to make me sleepy…” You mumble contently, a few minutes later and, Jungkook chuckles breathlessly beneath you.

“That’s ok; you can sleep if you need to.”  

He means it.

Jungkook had other things on his agenda but, now that you’re here, all he cares about is your comfort.  

“Don’t wanna sleep-“ You nudge your nose against his ribcage, “I missed you.”

With another chuckle, he traces his fingers over the edges of your hairline, brushing over the shell of your ear.

You can feel goosebumps rising on your skin but, it’s not intrusive or sudden, they come on slowly along with a type of comfort that only Jungkook can provide.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” He soothes, his motions continuing over the arches of your brows before, he traces back up the expanse of your forehead. “I promise.”

You can feel yourself smile as your blinking slows, taking another deep breath whilst your body seems to melt into him.

The heaviness in your eyelids is growing despite your best efforts to warrant off your exhaustion.

You didn’t want to nap, you wanted to spend time with your boyfriend but, when he tucks his fingers beneath your hair and, begins scratching gently on your scalp, the threat of sleep becomes more prominent.

“Sleepy girl…” He teases, a fond smile on his lips as he watches your eyes finally close. His thumb brushes over your cheek, gently pinching at the skin before, returning his hand to your hair.

This warms you from the inside out and, sooner or later you can’t help but, drift off into a light sleep.

Jungkook smile grows and, he slows his movements to a stop before tugging on the duvet until it covers your shoulders.  

He decides in that moment that he really wouldn’t mind spending every night just like this; tucked under the covers, falling asleep in eachother’s arms.  

He changes the show to something you’ve already seen; he doesn’t want to watch the anime without you.  

After some time has passed, you slowly come out of your slumber, happy you’re still laying on your boyfriend’s chest.  

You peer up at Jungkook to see his brow furrowed in concentration as his gaze is locked firmly on the screen.  

A smile immediately finds it’s way onto your lips, your finger reaching out to bop him on the nose.

He jumps at first, not understanding the source of the interruption before he quickly matches your smile, ““Yah she’s awake. Did you have a good nap?” He thumbs over your cheek once more and, you’re overcome by the urge to press a kiss against his lips

He’s willing and able to accept it.

His hands come up to hold you against him and, he slowly begins to move his lips against yours

“Mhm...”

His nose wrinkles with the joy on his face as he presses more kisses to your lips.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep, I just haven’t been getting to bed on time this week...”

An adorable pout comes over his mouth, “Don’t be sorry, I’m glad you were able to get some rest. It’s not late or anything.”

It’s well past sunset but, Jungkook’s vanilla cake candle is providing enough light to illuminate the details of your boyfriends face.  

You kiss him again, just because he’s cute and you can, “What did you do while I was out?”

His head reclines against his pillow again but, he tugs you closer, ensuring that you remain against him.

“I watched a few episodes of Naruto...” He admits, “I’ve seen it a million times but, I never get tired of it.”

Your arms drape over his shoulders as the upper half of your body rests over his chest. The wispy ends of his black hair are too cute to resist so you absentmindedly toy with them as you respond,

“I get it, I have a few different shows that I’m like that with; I swear I’ve seen The Office so many times I could quote it in my sleep.”  

A half smirk curves on the end of his mouth, “Yeah that’s a good one too, Jin hyung watches that show all the time.”

You giggle, tucking a bit of hair behind his ear, “Ah that explains a lot actually, Jin and Michael Scott have a lot in common.”

He chuckles at that, nodding in agreement, leaning his head against your hand.

“Which character do you think you are?”

You purse your lips, mulling it over, your eyes narrowing in thought, “Hmmm that’s a tough one cause like- I wanna say Kelly because, she’s amazing but in reality, I’m probably more of a Kevin.”

Jungkook’s smirk grows, “Isn’t that the guy who dropped his chili all over the place?

With a dramatic sigh, you nod, “God, I’ve never related to anyone more in my entire life...”

A full belly laugh comes from your boyfriends pretty mouth, his body trembling beneath you as he shakes his head.

It’s one of your favorite sounds, especially when it gets all high pitched like it is now.

“Jagi you aren’t Kevin...” He insists, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, “You are cooler than him.”

“You’re just saying that because you see the best side of me; in reality I am 100% Kevin.” You giggle, tucking more hair behind his other ear.

He still chuckles, shaking his head before nodding to you, “Who do you think I am?”

This definitely gets your brain going.

“I’m leaning towards Jim, you guys have a lot in common.” You nod as you continue to think about their similarities, “Yeah, you both have the same sense of humor and, even though you’re more sexy in an obvious way, you both have the same kind of sexiness?? If that makes sense?? But, you’re definitely hotter than Jim.”

You force your train of thought away from the office- style fantasy that pops into your head as Jungkook feels something stir deep in his gut.

“You think I’m sexy?”

You can’t help but laugh at the surprised look on his face, you swear you’ll never understand how Jungkook doesn’t see how hot he is.

“Duh.” You seal your response with a kiss but, Jungkook surprises you by sitting up and tugging you onto his lap.

He chuckles at the squeal that leaves your lips but, he carries on kissing you, his hands sliding up your outer thighs.

You don’t know what prompts his motions but, you’re not really in the mood to ask.

You’d much rather sit on your boyfriend’s lap and, make out with him.

“Can you-” He whispers against your lips, slightly breathless, “Can you say it?”

Your eyes flutter open to catch the shyness in his, “Can I say what?”

Warmth floods the apples of his cheeks, “Can you say that you think I’m sexy?”

A smirk teases the corners of your mouth and, tentatively you roll your hips against his.

“Are you trying to get hard Jungkook?”

You can hear him gulp, his eyes widening a bit before he nods.

With a smirk still on your lips, you tilt his head back, moving your fingers through his hair as you slowly begin placing kisses up the side of his neck.

His breathing picks up and, god help him, he immediately feels his dick hardening in his sweats.  

Jungkook’s neck is a sensitive area and, you know exactly where his weak spots are.

As you reach the lobe of his ear, you feel his grip tighten on your hips, his mouth parted slightly to make way for his shaky breath.  

“Jungkook?” You whisper in his ear, biting your lip as you see him visibly shiver beneath you.

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re sexy.”  

You nibble on his ear before quickly reuniting your lips, your hands sliding underneath his sweater.

His skin is so soft, so warm beneath your fingertips and, there is a large part of you that wishes you could spend hours just touching and kissing your boyfriend’s body.

Jungkook is eagerly reciprocating your kiss whilst his hands slowly move back up the outsides of your thighs.

His plan to get hard definitely worked because, you can feel him poking against your hips and, you’re already thinking of all the different ways you can make him cum.

“Did you get hard for me?” You whisper against his swollen lips, nudging his nose

Instantly he nods, his hands tugging the hem of your hoodie.

You take the hint, pulling back from him in order to remove it.  

Your plan is to continue kissing him of course but, as Jungkook spots the fire-red lace cups supporting the swells of your breasts, he lets out a tortured sigh.

“Is that new?” He swallows thickly, biting his bottom lip, allowing his hands to trail up your hips before securing themselves against your waist.

All you do is nod, sticking your chest out a bit and, encouraging him to keep touching you.

Jungkook leans in, dragging the tip of his nose between your breasts, inhaling when he reaches the space between your color bones.

“Did you wear this for me?”

His voice is ragged but, it’s deeper than normal, due to the arousal coating his tone.

“I wanted to look pretty for you.” You whisper, running your fingers through his hair.

You can feel him smile against your chest, his wet lips trailing back to tops of the bra, “You’re always pretty but this-” He grows bolder, biting softly at your breast, “this is torture”

A giggle bubbles past your lips, as you roll down against him once more.

“Jagi I-” The sensation of pleasure that toys with his body acts like a truth serum and, in an act of desperation that he definitely didn’t plan, a confession tumbles from his mouth, “I want you.”

But you don’t quite catch his drift, still rocking slowly against him, arousal slowly beginning to unravel you, “I want you too.”

No like,” He pulls away, his eyes glazed over with desire as they lock onto yours, “I want to be inside of you...”

It’s like a punch to the gut really, the way your boyfriend’s voice seems to quake under the weight of his admission.

You cup his cheek, “Really? Are you sure?”

He nods eagerly, licking his lips before turning to press a kiss to the inside of your wrist, “I want you so bad...”  

You’re quick to capture his lips then, kissing into him with more fervor than you ever have.  

"Can you do it for us Noona?” He croons into your mouth, his eyes darkened with lust as they plead with yours.

A nod is all you can manage at his devasting way of asking you to ride him.

For the first time...

You’re pulling off his sweater, securing your lips to his once more, kissing on them as you lean him back against the pillows.

Your bottoms are removed, leaving you completely naked as you tug his sweats down his legs.

Jungkook’s erection looks painful and, you feel yourself ache at the thought of finally being able to sit on it.

As you sit astride him once more, you lean down to press a kiss between his eyes before trailing your lips down the bridge of his nose to hover over his mouth.

He looks a little emotional, staring up at you as if you hung the moon just for him.

And you would, you’d do anything for him.

“Are you ready baby?” You whisper

He takes a deep and unstable breath through his nose but, gives you a nod anyway as he exhales through his mouth.

Right as you start lining him up with your entrance, Jungkook cups your cheek, his hand clammed up due to his nerves.

“Jagi?” He croaks

You kiss his hand gently, reassurance in your eyes, “Yeah?”

“G-Go slow please...”

You nod, “Of course, tell me if you want to stop at any point ok?”

He returns your nod before, letting out another breath as his head returns to his pillows.

Slowly but surely, you begin sheathing him in your heat, going as slow as possible so he can feel everything.

His body seems to freeze as you sink down on him, his hands tightening on your hips before a gasp leaves his throat.

Jungkook is quite sure he’s in heaven.

That’s the only explanation for the intense feelings of pleasure swimming through his body. He’s never felt anything so hot, so tight-  

So fucking good.

He’s going to lose his mind.  

With wide eyes, he stares up at you in awe, his lips parted as the length of his dick is fully inside of you.

You’re not fairing too well either because, Jungkook fills you up perfectly, nudging against the spot within you that makes your head spin.

“Is that ok?”

“ ‘ss so good...”  His voice is slurred as his hips jerk beneath you, sending a wave of pleasure through your core.

Biting your lip, you thumb his cheek, trying to hold it together, “Can I ride you now?”

You’re asking because, you want to make sure he’s prepared.

You know this isn’t going to last long but, you still want to blow his mind.

“I’m already so close jagi...I’m sorry...” He chokes on the end of his sentence when you start a pace on his dick, “Oh fu- oh my god...”

“Shh...don’t be sorry, you’re doing so good. You cum whenever you need to ok?”  

“Ah- Y/N...”  

His beautiful features are screwed up in pleasure, his hands falling off your hips because, he literally doesn’t have the strength to hold on at this point.

Jungkook’s breathing is growing rapid, as his eyes flit to where you’re connected, “Jagi I’m- I’m really inside...I’m really inside of you...” He marvels, his voice weak with emotion as his hips begin to meet yours.  

“You feel so good inside of me.” You assure him, increasing your pace which prompts his eyes to roll back momentarily.

“Will you kiss me? Please? I wanna kiss you when I cum...and I’m-” His eyes re-focus but, it doesn’t last long as you lean forward to brace your hands on either side of his head, “Jagi I’m gonna cum already...I’m gonna cum so hard. Oh sh- shit...”

You want every wish of his to come true.

You lean down to connect your lips, your hips moving faster and faster, wanting him to cum harder than he ever has in his entire life.

He whimpers into your mouth as his sweaty hands hold you tightly against his body.

“It’s...fuck I’m sorry, I’m sor- I'm cumming.” He chokes out, his grip tightening intensely as his hips weakly jerk with the force of his release.

He says your name as he cums inside of you, trying his best to kiss you properly but, it’s wet and sloppy.

You don’t care though, you ride him through his orgasm, keeping your lips connected.

“There you go, cum for me baby...” You coo, kissing all over his face as the pleasure continues to wrack his senses.

Jungkook knows his never cum harder in his life and, by the time his orgasm settles down, he’s properly spent.

He doesn’t completely register the feeling of you sliding off of him as his whole body is alight with tingles.

You make sure to clean him up, pressing gentle kisses to his stomach as you do.

You didn’t cum this time and, to be honest, it doesn’t really matter.

What you’ve both just experienced was too intimate to measure and, orgasms weren’t really the point this time.

Tucking into your boyfriend’s body you bring him close, tugging the duvet over his shoulders this time...

“Hi” He whispers, tucking his face shyly into your neck, his breathing not fully recovered.

“Hi you...”  

With a smile on your mouth, you press a kiss to his head, holding him tightly to you.

He kisses your chest, feeling ridiculous at how shy he suddenly feels, “I think-” He stops himself to peek up at you, a bit of moisture in his eyes, “I think I’m falling for you.”

Your heart throbs at his confession, kissing his lips once more before whispering, “I think I am too.”

Jungkook knows you didn’t finish and, he plans on addressing that when he settles down but right now, all he can do is hold you.

He thinks he’s finally figured it out:

You can’t plan a perfect moment because, perfection just doesn’t exist.

But as along as he’s with you, it doesn’t really matter.

[kpop-zone]

Merry Christmas ✨| Sana

Genre: fluff

Wordcount: 2,617

Request: Fluff imagine where both Sana and the reader have feelings for each other but are too scared to confess (basically everyone knows) but when they go to a Christmas party they have to kiss eachother because of a mistletoe

A/N: Merry Christmas guys!! I wish you relaxing and cozy Christmas holidays despite the circumstances. Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope that all of you have a beautful week. Stay safe and take care. Love you! 💛

“Ok so we’re doing this?”

“Yeah definitely, I can’t watch this tragedy any longer...”

When Sana entered the kitchen, she could hear her members whispering agitatedly and she curiously walked up to them.

“You’re doing what?”

She asked in confusion and her members spun around with wide eyes.

“Nothing!”

Jeongyeon yelled, causing Sana to flinch in shock. Why were they behaving so weird?

“What Jeongyeon means is that...we’re not doing anything important. We were just talking about...the dessert for tonight.”

Nayeon piped up nervously while glaring at Jeongyeon and Sana forgot all about their weird behavior.

“Oh dessert! Can I help?”

She smiled and the two older members nodded in agreement.

Together, they started to prepare some Tiramisu for their little Christmas party later on while chatting lightheartedly and savoring the only free day that they had amidst all the year-end performances. This would be the first time in over a month that all the members would eat together in a private setting. No schedule, no hectic, no yelling managers. Just the members and some good food. At least that was what Sana thought, but her members taught her better just when the food arrived.

“I can’t even wait to start! I’m so hungry!”

Sana clapped excitedly before rushing to the dinner table. None of her members followed her though and she looked at them in confusion. Usually, they were already devouring the food before the delivery man was even gone.

“We’re not complete yet.”

Jihyo stated as she brought some of the food to the kitchen and Sana let her gaze wander from one member to the other. 1,2,3...8.

“But...everyone’s here?”

Sana asked puzzled while watching in desperation how the food moved further and further away from her.

“No, we’re still expecting someone.”

Dahyun replied mysteriously as she sat down next to the older member and only now Sana realized that the table was set for 10 persons.

“Who are we expecting?”

As much as Sana loved visitors, she couldn’t help but to sound a little disappointed. She had been looking forward to a relaxed evening.

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to dress up or anything. It’s just...Y/N.”

Chaeyoung shrugged nonchalantly, but her comment caused Sana to freeze.

“Y/N?”

She repeated your name in shock, hoping that the younger member was just messing with her.

“Yeah, I mean Y/N is our friend, so we thought: why not invite them?”

Jihyo clarified innocently as she returned from the kitchen with some bowls in her hand that contained the takeout food. But suddenly, Sana couldn’t care less about the food; she wasn’t even hungry anymore. Instead, an intense nervousness caused a tingling sensation in her stomach that felt like she was riding a rollercoaster. This reveal completely caught her off guard, she hadn’t prepared herself mentally to meet you tonight. She hadn’t even physically prepared herself to meet you tonight. A shocked gasp left Sana’s mouth as she looked down on herself with wide eyes.

“Why did no one warn me??”

Panicked, her gaze fell on her sweatpants and baggy shirt that was stained with toothpaste. You couldn’t see her like this. Maybe she didn’t have a chance with you, but you still didn’t need to see her at her worst.

“Relax, Y/N won’t mind.”

Momo tried to calm her, but Sana had already jumped to her feet and wanted to run to her room to get changed. But before she had the chance to walk away, the doorbell suddenly rang, and Sana stared at the door with panic reflecting in her eyes.

“You can already start eating without me.”

She mumbled, wanting to disappear as long as she had the chance to, but Nayeon blocked her way.

“No, let’s eat all together. That’s what this evening is all about.”

The oldest smiled mischievously and before Sana could talk back, Jeongyeon already swung open the door to reveal you.

“Hey guys.”

You greeted everyone chipperly and Sana’s heart instantly missed a beat. She swore that not even an angel could have anything against you; nothing sounded more heavenly than your voice.

“Come in!”

Jeongyeon made an exaggerated gesture with her arm to ask you inside and you stepped into the dorm. Your gaze wandered from one member to the other until it eventually landed on Sana. You gave her a once-over, causing her to try covering her shirt with her arms in embarrassment. She was sure that you had to be disgusted by her look even if your face didn’t show any sign of it. Like always, your eyes were sparkling beautifully, and a light smile was resting on your lips, making her feel like a thousand fireworks were just igniting in her stomach. She simply stared at you although she knew that it had to seem very rude, but she never became tired of admiring you.

“Um...shall we start to eat?”

Jihyo eventually piped up and you broke eye contact, bringing Sana back to reality. Embarrassed, she looked at Nayeon next to her who had a knowing grin on her lips and a dark pink spread in Sana’s cheeks.

Her members couldn’t know that she was helplessly in love with you, right?

To flee the embarrassment, Sana quickly walked to the table to sit down but once again Nayeon stopped her.

“Sit there, Sana.”

She pointed at the seat across from you and Sana shook her head vehemently.

“B-but that’s not my seat.”

Sana stuttered, not knowing whether she would survive sitting across from you for one whole night.

“It is tonight.”

Momo replied while pulling her on the chair. Why did it seem like everyone had plotted against her tonight?

Nervously, Sana glanced over the table, seeing that you were already looking at her. You were surely wondering why she was behaving like the biggest idiot tonight. If only you knew that it was only because of you. She would love nothing more than to impress you. But every time she looked at you, her brain seemed to shut down and she was nothing more than a drooling mess. Whenever you were around, there was nothing left of the smooth flirt that she usually was. And today was no different.

While the others happily dug into their food and engaged in excited chatter, Sana picked at her plate while glancing at you sheepishly. Every now and then you caught her staring, causing Sana to almost choke on her food while heat rose to her cheeks. She cursed herself for not being able to utter a single word, but there simply wasn’t a single conversation starter left in her head. Gladly, however, Dahyun was apparently able to sense her struggle and came to her rescue.

“Um...Sana, did you know that Y/N bought your photobook and really enjoyed it?”

She tried to start a conversation for Sana, but this time it was you who almost choked on the food. You started coughing loudly and Dahyun had to pat your back to calm you down.

“Are you ok?”

Sana asked worriedly and you gave her a thumbs up before quickly averting your gaze like you were embarrassed which concluded your conversation, much to her frustration. The rest of the dinner, the two of you didn’t speak a single word with each other and Sana huffed silently while munching on her food with lacking appetite. No matter how much she longed to break this awkward silence, her tongue didn’t deliver all the words that she had told you in her dreams a million times already. Therefore, she had to watch how you joked around with everyone else at the table but her until it was eventually time for you to leave.

“Thank you, guys, for inviting me. But I think I’ll better get going now. You have to get up early tomorrow and I don’t want to be the reason for you to look all puffy on stage.”

You chuckled and Nayeon threw a piece of bread at you.

“I never look puffy; I always look fabulous.”

She protested, causing everyone to jokingly groan in annoyance.

“True, but I should still let you guys rest.”

You winked before leaping to your feet, making Sana’s heart ache. She would give everything to have such an exchange of playful banter with you, but there would be no opportunity for that tonight anymore. Sana watched how you were walking to the door to put on your shoes, causing her to slouch her shoulders in disappointment. Even if she hadn’t said a single word to you tonight, she still didn’t want you to go. It would be enough for her to just steal secret glances at you. But of course, she couldn’t ask you to stay after ignoring you for the whole night, so she needed to let you go. Suddenly, however, an elbow got roughly shoved in Sana’s ribs and she yelped in pain.

“Y/N, wait! Sana will accompany you to the door.”

Jihyo yelled panicked as if her life depended on it and all the other members agreed with her loudly, causing you to halt your movements to look at the bunch in confusion.

“Oh it’s ok, I can find my way out alone.”

You replied hesitantly, while pointing at the door directly behind you. But the other members instantly protested.

“No, no, no. Sana will go with you.”

Sana felt how Tzuyu elbowed her once more and she jumped off her chair in self-defense. Now that she was up, you looked at her expectantly and Sana realized that she didn’t have another choice but to see you out if she didn’t want to look like an even bigger idiot. Slowly, she walked over to you while glancing at her members who were following her every move with excitement in their faces. Why were they embarrassing her even more than she had done herself already? Shyly, Sana ended up standing before you and for a moment, you seemed to be waiting for her to say something as if you knew that she had been dying to talk with you all night. But once again, Sana’s nervousness caused her to panic and she quickly reached behind you to open the front door.

“Thank you for coming! Bye!”

She blurted out breathlessly and you looked taken aback as you stumbled backwards out of the apartment. If you hadn’t hated her before, you probably did now. Abashed, Sana wanted to slam the door shut to spare her from looking into your baffled expression, but she was stopped in the last moment.

“KISS!!!”

Her members suddenly yelled from behind her, causing her to squeal in surprise. In utter disbelief, she turned around with wide eyes to see her members standing directly behind her while pointing at something above her head. Hesitantly, she followed their fingers with her eyes and ended up looking at a mistletoe that was dangling from the doorframe. Her gaze immediately darted to you, but you didn’t notice as you were still staring at the little branch while gulping.

“Guys, you are so silly. Don’t worry, we don’t have to do this, Y/N.”

Sana laughed sheepishly while trying to back away from you, but her members pushed her forward.

“Yes, you do.”

They chanted in unison, causing you to finally meet Sana’s eyes. You chewed on your bottom lip nervously before inhaling deeply as if you were gathering all your courage.

“I mean it’s a tradition. What’s the harm, right?”

You chuckled, but a little crack in your voice was giving away that you were exactly as nervous as her.

Nevertheless, you took a step forward to close the distance between the two of you and Sana’s heart made a flip. This was really happening right now. How often had she made up the craziest scenarios in her head and now she would really kiss you for the first time under the cheesiest circumstances of all. In anticipation, she shifted from one foot to the other until you cupped her cheek, causing her to stand perfectly still. Your face moved closer and closer until your noses were almost touching and Sana’s eyelids automatically fluttered close. It didn’t take long till your lips finally touched hers and it felt like her whole body was suddenly starting to glow. An overwhelming feeling that she had never felt before spread from her chest to the tip of her toes and her feelings took over her mind. Her members were cheering loudly behind her, but Sana couldn’t care less about them right now. Therefore, she put her hand behind your neck to pull herself even closer to you while moving her lips in synch with yours. It seemed like they had always belonged together, putting every kiss that Sana had ever had to shame. This was her perfect Christmas present.

But what if you hated it?

The thought occurred to Sana as fast as the urge to pull you closer and she jumped back in embarrassment.

“I-I’m sorry!”

She stuttered ashamed, realizing that she might have forced herself on you just now. But the expression on your face calmed her instantly. Your eyes were sparkling even brighter than before and you had a wide grin on your face that reached from one ear to the other.

“You don’t know how long I wanted to do this.”

You smiled before suddenly cupping her face again and connecting your lips for a second kiss that was in no way inferior to the first one. When you pulled away, Sana felt dazed as if she had just woken up from the most beautiful dream ever.

“You did?”

She asked in disbelief, having trouble to understand why you would want to kiss a girl in a toothpaste-stained shirt.

“Yeah, I’ve been dying to get closer to you, but you were always so...unapproachable, so I thought you didn’t like me.”

You mumbled sheepishly causing Sana to gasp in shock.

“What?? No! Of course, I like you. I was just so nervous, because I have a crush on you for the longest time!”

She blurted out without thinking before slamming her hand on her mouth when she realized what she had just confessed to you. A light blush instantly appeared on your cheeks, but you didn’t seem to mind her confession.

“You do? Because I have a crush on you too.”

You smiled proudly, causing both of you to giggle like little kids.

“Oh my god, I can’t watch this any longer.”

Nayeon suddenly groaned, making Sana remember that you weren’t alone and both of you turned your head around in embarrassment, seeing that all of the members were still standing right behind her with their eyes glued to the two of you.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have forced them to their luck. They are both so annoyingly oblivious.”

The oldest member added before walking into the apartment and Sana looked at her appalled. Did they put the mistletoe up intentionally?

“Wait, you knew about my crush??”

She asked perplexed, causing the members to groan.

“EVERYONE KNEW!”

They yelled in unison and Sana pouted. She had really thought that she was being subtle.

“Well, everyone except Y/N...”

Mina corrected herself, making the others giggle mockingly.

“Well the only thing that matters is that our plan was successful. It’s a Christmas miracle.”

Jihyo sighed and Sana looked at you fondly. That was truly the only thing that mattered, because all she wanted for Christmas was you anyways.

“Stay a little longer? It’s really cold outside...”

She asked with a smug grin, causing you to giggle in response. Nevertheless, you nodded your head and reached for her hand to intertwine your fingers, allowing Sana to pull you back into the apartment.

What a merry Christmas indeed.

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Hiiii! I saw you asked for fluffy requests!! I love your writing so i got excited hehe

I just went through a ROUGH breakup, could you write where Levi comforts one of his scouts (or members of his squad) who he likes after she gets dumped?

Thank you!!! Xoxo ❤️❤️❤️

Hey I hope you're feeling better I'm sorry you have to go through this but I'm here if you need anything sweet anon, this really made me write hurt/comfort once again, so I hope you like it.

Pairing: Levi/reader

Tags: eventual fluff, hurt/comfort, takes an unexpected turn that I hope you like

November Sunsets

Levi, ever since he could remember himself, was lonely, neglected by life and stripped of anyone he ever cared about. The cruel unfairness of life was something he was forced to accept from the moment he came out of the womb; whilst other children had a last name to claim themselves with he was just Levi, Kuchel's bastard son.

Thinking back, life was the most unfair for his mother as well. The way he would hear men would treat her, hidden underneath her bed, or sticking his head to her door while supposedly playing with other little bastard children. Children of his fate that he couldn't remember the face of. Did anyone remember his own face? Deemed ugly, unbelievably short, dirty and incapable of being bright, that's what life had set for him from his very first breath.

Everytime he had refused to accept his fate another tragedy would curve it's way on his body and soul, staining him with little reminders of how he should sit back and crawl his way through what was simple meant to be. Indescribable gory deaths had happened before his eyes, taking any blue hue he had noticed and liked away from them. Insufferable agonies in the form of nightmares haunted him during the night, his mind didn't want to let him rest.

His heart had to become cold and hard as stone, but the humane of his nature only managed to plaster this longing of his on his face. Perhaps being human was a punishment everyone endured, whether they were born noble, loved by everyone or in a brothel, with almost no one to want them in this world.

Only two years after he had set foot and is remaining days in the Survey Corps were never certain. He was aware that it was a given profanity at his agreement to join, and egoistically he would have chose this any other day over counting down days in the underground. In that rat hole, he was expected to fall ill and possibly dead at any given time in his late twenties.

He still looked like a phantom in the mirror. Whatever concluded his being was set and done unfairly, from the way his skin was as pale as snow and so sheer that made his purple veins show practically everywhere to his lacking height caused by malnutrition and lack of sunlight. Was it the veins around his lips or the ones under his eyes that perfectly blended with his sacked under eyebags? Was it that his nose was small if looked individually but looked elongated in the context of his face? Maybe it was that he was filled with scars.

Oh, and that he looked atrocious with those dark locks in combination with light eyes.

Despite never doubting his abilities, or letting insecurities get the better of him it was in moments like this that he felt broken.

By setting his clippers down on the sink, after making sure there was no single coarse hair on them, he slipped in his usual light gray button down shirt. He didn't bother to secure any strap of his gear on him yet; it was this early in the morning that no one was probably awake yet, only him and his throbbing head, so strapping himself with the gear could easily be avoided for the time being.

The flames flickered inside his cobblestone fireplace demanding to be fed with fresh logs in exchange for his warmth. His hands worked mechanically, throwing logs I the crevice delicately careful not to fill the room in ashes. With a maneuver stir the flames roared with rage, engulfing the wood almost too pleasantly to eye. He didn't hesitate to plouch down on the wooden floor, legs crossed and hands stretched towards the newfound warmth in an attempt to ease the lingering cold of his fingers.

Usually this was the time for the first tea of the day. Under any other occasion his brain would munch on him for the lack of the hot copper liquid in his stomach, but today was different. He contemplated on weather this mere fire could ever warm up anything other than tea but he refused to seek the therapeutic feeling of hot water entering his body. If he couldn't warm up on the outside why would he put any effort to do so in the inside.

The throbbing in his head ravaged the insides of his skull with striking rushes of pain at random places. When he went to rub on his forehead his ear would screech in ache, testing to see if his patience could handle such tag game.

Refusing to soothe any part of his aching body meant that he'd have to physically suffer throughout the upcoming day. Had he been any more grumpier he would be thinking about assigning everyone with another cleaning task, nontheless it didn't fit the nature of his mood. He felt like locking himself in his office to avoid as much human interaction as possible, he wasn't social to begin with so why shouldn't he be granted some days to recharge his ability to utter anything else than a grunt.

He sighed, head falling to face the floor as his eyes were framed by his ebony locks. He seemed to despise them, today more than ever. Was it because of you? It was a question that puzzled his mind for a couple of days, eating away any spare piece of logic he was ever left with. The only thing he knew, or supposed was that this feelings were probably meant to feel like that, at least for him.

Him, who shall never enjoy a simple pleasure of life such as experiencing the feeling of falling in love and having a lover to tend to his soul's wound. Of course he had to be dense enough to let such opportunity go as only a question arose days after day he'd spent with you. Did he deserve to be loved?

Yet those days with you, those days that he cut absurdly were fidgeting with his mind in the worst way possible, trying to torment him over the memory of your face.

It had started off as a simple admiration of your combat skills. The intimidating brushes oh your skin on his everytime he chose to spare with you out of all member in his squad, the sweat that dripped off of your forehead as your eyes gleamed with the enthusiastic power gathered in your fists.

Then, it was the way your hair flipped off of your shoulder when you would wrap your camel colored jacket on your form under the lingering tingerine lights of the sun setting behind the walls. The way it bounced on your back as you gripped the reins of your horse, leaving small encouraging sounds of victory as it seceeded its training tasks. He had taken notice of how well kept your hair was, always fresh and squeaky clean as it framed your face loosely.

Levi was smitten, wrap around your little finger in the blink of an eye, his nights agonising, his days filled with you mellowy blendind in any scenery and he couldn't get you out of his head. Your affections towards him were meticulously counted at first but he had sat back down and watched as you let yourself go around him, sparring smiles and watery glances to him during meals.

Before he knew it he had found himself longing to be in your arms every single moment of the day, much like a lovestruck teenager. As much as it seemed embarrassing for a man his age to swoon and melt like a candle at the sight of such youthful and sweet woman, he couldn't help it. His loner's manners had started to abandon him in your presence, the persuasion of your soft eyes had him giving in. The sweet touches of your hand on his cheek, allowing his head to rest on your palm as he talked about the enormous work Erwin had assigned him with, curved in his head forever, replaying every time he seeked some form of comfort.

Had it not been for Mike and Hange entering his office unexpectedly that one day he had forgotten to lock, he wouldn't have been forced to leave it all behind to avoid spoiling both his and yours reputation. It haunted him; they way he longed for you as his heart clung into his chest like a prisoner, but his words to you as you cried your eyes out that sunset kept reminding him he was not deserving of anything.

When news spread like a plague in the higher ranks everyone had turned on him and seldomly to you, whispering heart rotting comments. Among them that you were no good for eachother be it due to appearances or the context of your backgrounds. Levi knew the oxymoron of those dynamics, yet why did anyone have to point them out, to make him feel smaller than he was whether it was for teasing or not, he couldn't phantom.

Not only life was unfair to him, he had to strip his own self of the only thing he had a positive effect in his life just to go back to being a what the Scouting Region wanted him to be. Humanity's Strongest. The man with no weaknesses who slaughtered the gigantic beasts with skill and determination. His heart was supposed to belong to humanity, not you, not anyone else.

It hurt. To watch you give out your beautiful giggles to someone else through his office window ached him restlessly. The imagery of your sweet affectionate movements was right before his eyes, directed to someone else this time, during those beautiful November sunsets felt like gunshots aimed anywhere in his vital organs.

You had fallen for someone else, those were the news going around the squad lately. Petra bubbled enthusiastically about Gunther's encounters with you in the small alleyways of Trost on your day offs. Eld would scold you for dressing up appropriately for your dates and Oluo would miserably immitate him, giving you playful comments about reeking shit while biting his tongue. As Petra had informed him, his affiliations with you unbeknownst to her or any other cadet in the picture, Gunther was treating you perfectly, almost too good to be true. Something that made his heart fall into pits of darkness, all masked safely by his humane flesh and skeleton combines.

Would anyone ever treat you like he did? With such serenity? He knew, despite how short lived your fling had ever been, there would never be anyone like him in your life. And for that he had to be the one to punish himself. His fate would be pleased if he turned on himself wouldn't it?

Upon hearing the knock on his door, his mouth automatically spat the familiar inquiry on the knocker's intentions. It felt deaf to his ears; his mind was working on its own while he forced it to torment him with more what ifs. As his fingers brushed brushed underneath his nostril to scratch away any awkwardness that had gathered in the spot with a buzzing feeling.

"It's cadet (L/n) sir" he heard you yelp as you paused, unsure of what to say next. "Personal business if you don't mind!"

When you entered at his command, his eyes didn't dare to spend a second fixated on your bouncing locks. Instead they blinked into your (e/c) ones, staring at the melancholic expression that was plastered on them. Lower on your face, your lip trembled, teeth biting hard not to allow it to show but your efforts had already fell into vain as he quickly noticed it.

He hadn't realised you weren't sitting on the chair before his desk until he got up from his position on the ground, eyes immediately noticing you in his usual spot. You were curled up in a ball with your knees fitted to your eye sockets, silently suppressing what seemed to be the start of a brawling session as he sat there and watched, not daring to touch your back with his hand.

What had happened so early in the morning that had sent you in his office? The two of you weren't much on talking terms nowadays, a restriction he had forced on you from the day that he ended your shared endearments. As potential scenarios chewed on his thoughts your whimpers only grew louder and harsher.

"Don't you dare ask why I'm crying!" You spoke, small hiccups leaving the back of your throat as each time it roared with another wave of sorrow.

"It could be helpful to know."

His steel eyes never met yours as he spoke with his typical steady voice, although this time he had tried to take any nasal sound away from it.

"You're the reason I can't have anything work for me. Gunther said so himself." Another crashing wave of sobs overcame you and he watched frozen, unable to do anything just yet. Confirmation on your status had to be spoken, he wouldn't love to be touchy with another man's woman even if ever cell in his body ached for her.

"You're achingly beautiful, my heart will forever be yours and you knew it. Gunther' isn't fit to be a replacement for you. You get to be the one who comforts me for this breakup, for our breakup up, I can't talk about that shit with anyone else. You're all I ever had and you left me to pretend to be that weapom they want you to be." He had expected you to winch, to flinch or have any negative reaction to his touch on the back of your head, he had prepared himself for it, he had planned the words he'd say but such a reaction never came. You only have in to his lingering touch, hand reaching out for his in an attempt to pull him close.

He didn't feel the pain of his knees hitting the wooden floor as he coarsed you to his neck in full might, he ignored the heart that beat fast at the sound of you admitting you weren't over him, he chewed back at the thoughts that mocked you for calling him achingly beautiful.

The fidgeting of your fingers on the button of his shirt served as an action of your nervousness but all he could care about was that he could feel your heart beating at the right side of his chest almost in synch with his.

"I'm here." He soothed, one hand running through your soft locks as the other one pressed you to his chest. "I'm sorry" he admitted. Whether it was too late was up to your heart's desire to decide.

"You better be." You sniffled the goo that threatened to fall on his shirt.

"You should know by now. I can't bear to watch you thrive with anyone. Tch, I'm a smug runt myself for that."

He fell in silence as you tried to give into his caring comfort. It all felt too familiar, too rushed and too bitterweet to be real. He blinked at the thought and slightly bit his tongue to confirm he wasn't sleeping.

"I thought we belonged together, I thought... I thought I found something in you that was mine."

As your eyes brawled with hit tears once again your fists came to clench onto his shirt. There were distinguishable pauses in your crying; rashes of unspoken pain inside your chest that burned you to think about. It was all too familiar of a feeling to him and it only ever made him press you impossibly closer to his form.

"If it helps, I did so too."

It's only when your face lifts up for your wide eyes to look into his that he realises how much you've cried. Despite the practical darkness of the room your eyes are obviously bloodshot, painted with agony as they burn holes onto his skin, making him shut his in defense of his soul.

"I miss you so much and I can't sleep at night. I can't look at anyone and pretend they are you, they all see through this. I still love you and it hurts. I don't want it to hurt, Levi." Your confessions striked that particular nerve in him that made him numb, frozen on the spot, dumfounded over your words. Had he knew he'd be the reason that love pains you he would have never lead you on, he would have never looked at you with small looks of adoration as you ride your horse's together and most importantly he would have never let his filthy lips touch your angelic ones.

But he didn't find it in him to regret any of his actions.

Not now, not when his lips were begging him to be interlocked with the only pair then had declaired a match.

"I know I came here all of a sudden but it's been nights I haven't slept and I can't do this anymore. J-just hold me and once the sun is out I won't bother you anymore." Even if you tried to speak that nonsense with him you should have known better that it wouldn't work. He could already see the faint purples in the horizon, glazing over the glass of his windows as they lightened by every passing moment.

He knew why you were in his arms, he knew that pushing you away was never an option either. Thus, his hands came to rest under your face your face to tenderly direct it to his. His mouth opened but the words that he spoke took hours, years, eons to come out.

"What if I told you that I still love you, what would you say? Would you press your lips on mine and want to start over?" He inquired as he swallowed the hard lamp that had gathered in his Adams apple. "Would you speak your words in actions?"

The first light of the sky protruded behind the mountains, spreading a yellow light evenly around the sky. As you nodded and tugged your head close enough that your nose touched, your lips faintly brushed against each other's and his heart sped in unimaginable paces.

In the moment he wasn't a doomed underground ugly thug, his nose wasn't misplaced on the context of his head. He wasn't just Kuchel's bastard son that everyone wanted dead. He was that part that you had claimed as yours.

Small victories against his fate didn't always leave him hollow with unbearable loss after all.

My requests are always open, if you want to drop anything I'd be more than happy to write what you want ❤️