#I had to start limiting my apps and only keeping them open when I'm actively using them

[touch3d-by-ang3ls]

moots/subs with strict parents / parental controls pls assemble

how the fuck do u get away with using tumblr and or messaging ur online friends??? does ur parents not check ur usage of apps???????

[thought--bubble]

Taking a little breaky break

This is just a heads up for my small little group of people on here. I have come to call my friends. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm going to be taking a much needed respite from tumblr and probably discord, too. I am feeling lost, sad,overwhelmed, and confused.

I know it sounds silly or whatnot, but all of this stuff is overwhelming and depressing, and I feel sick when I open this app at this point.

The best word to use, I guess, would be winded, maybe?

I joined Tumblr in Sept 23, and at first, it was really fun, a much needed escape from my daily never-ending list of crap to do.

I unfortunately learned how crazy this fandom can get early on and the hard way. I had hoped that that was just a one-off due to my newbie ignorance and took it as a lesson learned for myself.

But it's starting to feel like the drama never fucking stops. It just keeps going, and nice people, kind people, just get dragged and ridiculed for seemingly no reason. I will pathetically admit that I am a sensitive soul, and the things I've read and seen have seriously negatively affected me.

When people are catty regarding people they don't like or that don't like them, I can usually reconcile that to a particular degree. People are, in fact, people. Not everyone is going to vibe with everyone, and people will make jokes at others' expense, and it isn't exactly mature, but it happens.

That is what I expected when I heard this was coming. Some catty shit slinging between people who don't like each other.

But that isn't all this was, and I'm having a really hard time with that. I even thought, "Oh maybe some moderately rude jokes here and there where you know cultural differences and stuff could account for that" like I'm from the northeast and we can be harsh out here. So something that may be offensive to someone from another area may be looked at here just as a joke made in poor taste.

I know I myself have made jokes or whatnot, but you would think certain things would be off limits.

I thought I could combat the negative with positives. Silly jokes, little messages filled with love, but even that isn't working at this point.

My heart hurts, and my brain hurts.

And all this stuff has made me question myself. I had a block list a mile long for the longest time. Filled predominantly with people I had never spoken to because I was scared, nervous, I didn't want to accidentally interact with a post of someone who would be upset that I did, I unfollowed blogs I liked based on this same principle. I just desperately did not want to make someone mad or uncomfortable and find myself back in some weird mean anon tornado.

I tried to sus out who would be bothered by my presence and who wouldn't. I can't even know if my thoughts on who may or may not be upset by me were based on my paranoia or a perception i developed or was potentially affected by outside sources.

Now, i just don't know what the hell is going on.

Sorry for the word vomit. Just wanted to be honest. There are some of us out here who are just standing around with question marks over our heads.

Maybe it's because I wasn't here for a lot of that other weirdness. Maybe it's because of early events that shaped my experience on this app, but I for sure 100% need a break.

I'm an odd duck and love this app mostly because it's the only site I've seen where others actively fan-girl over my favorite Ewan character.

But right now, not even my love for Will can keep me on this app, and for those who know me, that's truly saying something.

This post is not meant to badmouth anyone at all. Honestly at this point I couldn't bad mouth anyone because I'm fucking lost on who anyone really is or how they really feel about things, dude I'm just plain lost.

Thank you to those who have been kind. My apologies to those I may have judged or assumed things about based on who the hell knows.

I hope that when I come back, I can open this app without yet another person that I like having a post of them being torn apart. Or a post of a story that I had heard being told in a completely different way and throwing me for a complete loop.

For now I am going to watch Will edits on TikTok and maybe read via Ao3.

Love and healing vibes to all.

[jessicawestonauthor]

On Childhood, Creativity and Writing

I have always wanted to be a writer, ever since I was a kid.

I started reading adult books in 3rd grade when I read "Woman Without a Past" by Phyllis A. Whitney - I got it from my mother's bookshelf, and I actually still have the same book today. In 5th grade I read my first Stephen King book (Cujo), and I remember my 4th and 5th grade teacher Mr. Reardon (who I am actually Facebook friends with today), really made writing a fun part of my education. I think that is when my interest in writing REALLY began.

I always felt very creative and full of ideas. My brothers and I grew up without a lot of other kids in our neighborhood, so we had to keep ourselves occupied with our imaginations. I can't tell you how many "forts" and "houses" we created with old plywood and boards, or even just in some overgrown thicket in our yard. The area between the Lilac bushes and the front porch, I always imagined was a mobile home trailer.

But the full blown worlds and storylines we came up with together were so intricate, I can still remember many of them today, nearly 30 years later. . I think growing up the way we did really gave us a wonderful opportunity to exercise our imaginations and really push the limits of what our creativity.

My brother is also a writer, and arguably a much better writer than me. Our styles are quite different and he has been actively writing much longer than me

For me, I struggled for all of these years. I loved writing, in theory, but I struggled to actually DO it. Once I started taking medication for my ADHD that all changed. For the first time in years I was inspired to start reading again in my spare time, and so I opened up the Kindle App on my phone and before bed each night I started reading books I had downloaded years ago.

It didn't take long before all of that reading refreshed my love of the written word. The stories coming to life in my head was like finding a long lost friend. Within just a couple weeks of starting to read regularly again, I found myself critiquing the stories I was reading. I was picking out things I enjoyed that the writers had done, and also things I thought could have been done better and figuring out how I would do it differently.

After a week or two of critiquing stories in my head and arguing with my half asleep self every night about how I could write a book, I SHOULD write a book, but I have ADHD and hyperfocus on new hobbies and then forget about them in six months so why bother starting when I'm just going to give up, I finally told myself to shut up.

I sat down one morning, googled writing prompts, and the first one I read immediately gave me an idea so I broke out a notebook and a fun pen and got to work plotting ideas and then character bios. Within a week I had three chapters written and my friends couldn't wait to read more.

It's been a little over a month now and I'm starting Chapter 11, I currently have just under 14,000 words, and no plans to stop any time soon. The ideas just keep flowing with no end in sight!

p.s. Please don't judge me for still having a Facebook account with all of this upheaval about the potential Tiktok ban. If the ban goes through I will most likely be deleting FB and IG both. I only have FB to keep in touch with distant family and friends

[tiffanytheswiftie]

So every year on my birthday I kind of like to recap my year, and since I'm turning 29, I decided to model this year's after the Elle article Taylor Swift did at 29 entitled "30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30."

@taylorswift @taylornation

1. It's okay if people don't get my interests.

Over the years, I sometimes tried to hide my interests because I was worried people would think they were weird or wouldn’t understand them. It always seemed like a lot of my interests fell out of the “ordinary” interests of those around me. But I’ve learned that’s okay, and it’s okay if people don’t get it. If I enjoy it, that’s all that matters. Like the song says, if it makes me happy, it can’t be that bad.

2. I can love my body while also wanting to make it healthier/look better.

I have struggled with body image and my weight for the majority of my life, and I have always believed the biggest struggle was the mental aspect of it all. I thought I could only appreciate my body once it got to how I wanted it to look (which, it never has). I hated it. However, I realize now that the best way to improve it, is to love it, and appreciate it for what it does for me already.

3. It's not malicious to cut out toxic people.

Cutting out toxic people is hard, but necessary. I’m not calling someone up and saying, “I’m never talking to you again,” or completely ghosting them, however I no longer involve them in most aspects of my life. It’s freeing and better for my mental health.

4. Traveling is so important.

It’s no secret that I love traveling. I want to visit every continent (minus Antarctica), experience different cultures, see history, and experience new things. It’s important to open up my mind and broaden my horizons, and something I recommend everyone to do. It’s good to meet people from all over the world who live different lives and come from different lifestyles and philosophies. Plus, traveling is just so fun! Like Donna says in Mamma Mia 2, “life is short, and the world is wide, I want to make some memories.”

5. My path can and will change often.

When I first started trying to decide on a major for college, I seriously thought about at least 12 different career paths. And what I chose wasn’t even included in those at the time. Point is, my path will change often. My dreams will change often. And that’s okay! It doesn’t mean I failed, it just means my path has shifted onto something different. My initial dream may have just been setting me up to go down a certain path.

6. My life isn't on a timeline.

Honestly this is probably the hardest lesson I had to learn. Everyone, myself included, seems to put life on a timeline. I thought by a certain age I had to have a degree, I had to be married, I had to have kids, I had to have traveled to a certain amount of places, etc. and if I didn’t then it just wouldn’t happen. I hear people talk about other people and where they are in life. But no one’s life is on a timeline, and everyone’s big moments will happen differently. The only time it’s ever really “too late” is when I’m dead. And I’m not dead. I’m very much alive.

7. I need to be able to look forward to things.

Sometimes life can seem monotonous. Every day looks the same, and it can really wear me down. I always try to make sure I have something to look forward to. It could be something big, like a trip or Christmas, or something small, like watching a new movie. Either way, I keep a countdown app in my phone, and I look at it on days I feel like my life is doing nothing. I always make sure there’s something I can look forward to.

8. It's possible to be both brave and terrified.

My mantra in life has always been “Fearless.” I got it from a Taylor Swift quote when I was about 17 years old that says, “Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.” While I’ve always loved that quote and have used that word to overcome fears, it took me awhile to actually be able to fully embrace the idea of being fearless.

9. Water is good for the soul.

Drink water. It’s not only good for the soul, it’s good for staying alive. Hydrate before you die-drate. There’s nothing more satisfying then getting a big gulp of cool water.

10. I shouldn't care what people think of me.

This is something we’re preached our entire lives, yet often we still worry about the people who judge us. And that’s crazy. I only get one life and going through it worried about what someone thinks of me is a stupid way to live.

I think I can best sum this lesson up with the words from Sebastian Stan in Houston, “Don’t care about what other people say about you, just really don’t give a damn…you have to ultimately go ‘I’m doing this’ and people aren’t going to like that. Not everyone’s going to like what I do. So…who gives a f***? You know, if it feels good to you, and you’re helping somebody, or you’re not harming anybody, you’re being kind, you’re being considerate, then that’s it. That’s all you need.”

11. If someone judges me for my appearance, they are the ones with a problem.

One thing that has hindered me through the years is my fear of someone judging my appearance. I’ve let it affect every aspect of my life. For so long, I wouldn’t go to certain events, talk to certain people, participate in certain activities, travel certain places, date, go to restaurants, do fun things like dancing or swimming, etc. (and some I still don’t) because of being afraid people would judge how much fat is on my body. And I recognize that’s not a good way to go through life, and if someone judges me for that, they are the ones with the issue, not me. In the words of Brianna Wiest, “Focus on what your body does more than what it looks like doing it.” And I’ve been trying to live those words.

12. I need to live in the present, not the future.

I tend to freak myself out by thinking either too far ahead or about things that haven’t (and might not) even happen. I think about what age I’ll be in 10, 20, 30 years. I’ll think about what might go wrong with something at some point. It’s not healthy, I will drive myself crazy overthinking about this. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is to live in the now. It’s good to have future plans or be prepared for the future, but never forget to live in the present. Focus on the now. Live now.

13. It's good to try different things to figure out if I'm interested or not.

It’s so good to try different things out to discover if it’s something I enjoy or not, something I want to pursue or not, etc. It’s so easy to sign up for a class, look up a tutorial, or just get out and try. I have tried a lot of things in my life that ended up not being what I decided to put all of my energy into, but that’s a good thing. I don’t have to ask myself “what if?” and some of it I still enjoy doing as a hobby.

14. Writing is good for my mental health.

If you follow me on any social media, or are reading this right now, then you probably know that I tend to write things out often. I enjoy writing. It’s one of the ways I express myself, and it’s good for me. It’s therapeutic. I write when I’m excited, happy, or sad. I write out poetry or songs or just short little essays. I enjoy it, a lot, and I’m glad I’ve embraced it.

15. Read as much as possible.

Reading is good for so many reasons. It makes me smarter, it makes my brain more active, and it takes me into different worlds. It also lets me experience things or understand things I might not have otherwise. It helps to stop my mind to slow down and focus on one thing. Reading is important for everyone. It can be a novel, a short story, a magazine, whatever. Just read.

16. A good night's sleep can make a huge difference.

Trying to get a good night’s sleep just makes the next day better and is good for my mental and physical health overall. I’ve had crazy sleep schedules, sometimes from work hours but mostly because I’m an anxious night owl who pushed myself to stay awake and watch movies rather than going to sleep. I honestly feel better now that I’ve got myself on a better sleep schedule.

17. I should push myself out of my comfort zone but also know my limits.

I would have missed out on a lot if I hadn’t pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and I hope to do it even more in this next decade. It’s good to run towards some of the things that terrify but fascinate me. However, it’s also good to know that everyone has limits. It’s good if I can recognize situations or places that always make me feel uncomfortable and to try and keep myself out of that environment.

18. Music and concerts are therapeutic.

Music has been a part of so many aspects of my life (as it is for many). It’s played on road trips, at parties, at big life events, in my room, in the movies I love watching, and the list goes on. It’s no surprise that music is therapeutic and something so many people can relate to and love. One of my favorite parts about music is getting to go to concerts. Taylor Swift, Julia Michaels, Aly & AJ, Miranda Lambert, Britney Spears, Demi Lovato, and Selena Gomez are just some of the artists I’ve been lucky enough to see in my life, and whose concerts let me really let loose, and just be in the moment and feel all the feelings. And that’s great, and something I hope I get to experience quite often in the next decade and beyond.

19. It's important to be knowledgeable about the world.

This can be looked at in two different ways.

On one hand, learning about other cultures and places is interesting and important on opening up the mind and broadening horizons (kind of like what I stated about traveling). It’s cool to see how people live, talk, what customs they have, etc. and to recognize that while we’re all different, we also all have a lot of things in common.

On the other hand, it’s important to be knowledgeable of the issues in the world. It’s good to know what big concerns there are and learning about them so I can see where I stand on it as well as knowing what I can do to help people. For example, with refugee crisis, knowing what is going on in their country and what they are facing so I can look into what I can do to help provide assistance (such as donating, raising awareness, praying, etc. We can all do something). It’s important.

20. Be active in politics and be respectful with politics.

Being active in politics is vital to helping shape the present and future. Being educated about issues, empathizing with people, being aware, opening up my world to be bigger, and having an open mind is all important when approaching politics. It’s also imperative that I make sure I am always respectful when doing this. If I disagree with someone, I don’t attack them. If someone attacks me, I ignore them. If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Don’t play stupid games.

21. Dog videos and cat videos will always make me feel better.

There’s not much to say about this except it’ll always make me happy and dogs and cats are so cute and deserve all the best things in the world. Also please send any and all dog and cat videos my way.

22. It’s so good to get to meet people from different backgrounds, lifestyles, cultures, etc.

Through traveling and living several different places, I’ve been lucky enough to meet people from all over the world. This has opened up my mind and has helped me to be able to recognize the different issues people face. It has helped me see so many lifestyles and values and I have learned a lot about the world through these people. I am thankful for them.

23. Being open about mental health is so important.

I have social anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder, AKA anxiety and depression. I’ve talked about this a lot in the past few years, however it took me awhile to get to that point. I was first diagnosed at 17 and it wasn’t until I was about 25 that I finally was able to be open about it and talk about it (and I have to thank Jared Padalecki for being a huge reason I was able to do that through his words and Always Keep Fighting campaign).

Mental health isn’t just about diagnosable disorders, though. Everyone has mental health, just as everyone has physical health. Mental health is just as important as physical health and should be treated as so. It’s okay if a couple days need to be taken to feel better. It’s okay to not be okay, as cliché as that sounds. The more open people are about mental health, the more awareness there will be, and that will lead to healthier minds.

24. Encouraging friends is something that should be done daily.

Let me repeat that, ENCOURAGING FRIENDS IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE DONE DAILY. Everyone needs encouragement. Uplifting others is the easiest thing a person can do that can make such a big impact. Uplift them, encourage them. I am genuinely so proud of so many of my friends, and I try to tell them that often.

25. Watching movies will always be my joy and therapy.

I watch a lot of movies. A lot. And it’s because I genuinely love them. I find so much joy and entertainment being able to escape into different worlds and lives and situations for a couple hours. I also turn to them when I am sad or dealing with anxiety and depression and need something to help me. They are therapeutic. They are fun. I am thankful they exist, and I don’t care if that sounds weird to someone (see #1). I also love learning about them and knowing different aspects of them, such as how a scene was filmed or how an actor approached the character. Random challenge: when watching one of your favorite movies, take yourself out of the story for a minute and just watch the characters on screen as actors. It’ll blow your mind on how talented they are.

26. Creativity can be expressed in a lot of ways.

I’m a relatively creative person and sometimes it feels like I can’t find a way to express that, which makes me go crazy. I used to think I had to have a specific and grand outlet in order to express creativity, but that’s not true. I can express my creativity in the clothes I wear, the things I write, in painting or making bracelets, in photography and videography, or even in every day conversation. There are so many ways to express it, and none of them are wrong or not enough. I’ll do me and you do you.

27. It's good to have people who inspire me, but I shouldn't put them on a pedestal.

A lot of different people inspire me. Some are family, some are friends, some are musical artists, some are actors, some are YouTube creators, some are activists, some are just random people on Instagram or Twitter or wherever, and the list goes on. And it’s great to be inspired by other people. It’s nice to have people to look up to or who inspire me to be myself or express myself. However, it’s always important not to put them on a pedestal. Nobody is perfect. We’re all people.

28. Be kind, be empathetic, be patient, but stand up for myself.

Kindness, empathy, and patience are all things we should strive to have. I always try my hardest to be kind to everyone (sometimes I fail, like everyone, but I try). I have realized I have a lot of empathy, which is great and I’m thankful that I have that. I’m working on patience with myself, but I do try to be patient with other people. However, I also need to know when to stand up for myself. Sometimes people mistake kindness for weakness and try to push me down; I shouldn’t let them do that. I can still be kind while standing firm.

29. I may never understand a struggle someone's going through but that doesn't mean it's not real.

Often times when people talk about their struggles, I see others say, “well I have never experienced that or have seen that so it must not be true.” And that’s a poor way of thinking.

For example, as a white person, I’ll never fully understand the struggles and obstacles that racial minorities face. But it’s so, so important I still recognize that those struggles and obstacles exist and do my part in trying to help improve them. Another example is that a man will never fully understand the struggles and obstacles I face as a woman, but they should still recognize that those things are real.

30. I know that age is just a number and turning 30 next year just gives me a new decade to look forward to.

And last but not least, turning 29 shouldn’t be a scary thing. Age shouldn’t make anyone sad or feel like they have failed at life or something for not reaching a certain point (see #6). People put too much emphasis on age sometimes and it’s ridiculous. I’m 29. I’ll be 30 next year. It doesn’t mean anything except that I’m given a new slate to start a new decade of my life, and that should excite me, not scare me. So here’s to 29, I hope my last year in my 20s is great…but I have a feeling my 30s will be even greater.

[missmentelle]

I saw an ask about you being biromantic asexual and if it's not too much to ask about, how do you date people when asexual? I'm asexual too, and I do experience romantic attraction, but I find it hard to date when sex and romance seems to go hand in hand.

I’ll be perfectly honest with you - being asexual can make it more challenging to date, and it can limit the dating pool available to you. Many people do consider sex to be a vital part of the relationship, and for those people, asexuality may be a deal-breaker. I can guarantee you, though, that it is possible for asexual romantics to find loving, healthy relationships, with both sexual and asexual people - it might be a little bit harder to do, but it is possible. I’m in a very healthy relationship right now with someone who is not asexual, and we’ve found ways to make it work. If I had to give advice to other asexuals for finding that kind of relationship, I would say:

Know what your sexual limitations are. “Asexual” can mean a lot of different things. Some asexuals are completely repulsed by all sexual activity and want absolutely nothing to do with it. Some are okay with some sexual ‘fooling around’ as long as no penetration is involved, while others may be okay with occasionally having sex for their partner’s sake. Some asexuals are comfortable with an ‘open relationship’ situation where their sexual partner is allowed to have sex with other people, and other asexuals are not okay with this at all. There are no right or wrong answers here - it’s just important that you figure out what kinds of sexual activities or types of physical affection you are comfortable with (if any), so that you have a better idea of the kind of partner you’re looking for. It’s okay not to know for sure what you’re okay with - you might not know if you are willing to do something until the heat of the moment - but it’s a good thing to at least start thinking about. 

Be upfront with potential partners. As soon as it looks like you and another person are headed for “relationship” territory, have a direct conversation with them about your sexual boundaries and lack of desire. You don’t necessarily have to use the term “asexual”, but if you know you are never going to have sex, it’s important to be direct about that. If you aren’t sure whether you’re willing to have sex or not, be direct about that. It’s true that this conversation might make the other person change their mind about dating you, and that will suck, but it won’t suck nearly as much as getting six months into a serious relationship and discovering that the two of you are fundamentally sexually incompatible and have to break up. You will save a lot of time and heartache by being forward about what your limitations are. 

Avoid looking for long-term partners on hookup apps. I’m sure there’s an asexual or two out there who met the love of their life on Tinder, but in general, finding someone on an app made for casual sex is going to be more difficult for an asexual. If you are using online dating, stick to apps that are more geared towards serious, long-term relationships, apps that allow for longer bios, and apps that allow you to indicate “asexual” as your sexual orientation. My partner and I met on OkCupid, an app that is much more asexual-friendly than Tinder. 

In general, seek out other asexuals, or people with lower sex drives. This is sort of a matter of logistics, but in general, you are far more likely to have a successful relationship with someone who does not highly prioritize sex. Even if you are willing to have sex with a long-term partner for their benefit, you are probably going to be happier with someone who wants sex twice a month, rather than someone who wants it twice per day. I’m willing to occasionally watch FIFA soccer matches to keep my partner happy, but I would be miserable if that was the only thing we ever did. It is possible to have a successful relationship with a non-asexual, but it’s going to be a lot easier if that person is ambivalent toward sex. My partner is not asexual by any stretch, but he has a low sex drive and wanted to wait several months into the relationship before even approaching the topic of sex. 

Don’t compromise your sexual limits for a relationship. it can be really, really tempting for asexuals to just “grin and bear” sexual activity that they really, really don’t want in an attempt to widen their dating pool. This is a mistake. If you are genuinely okay with having sex aren’t negatively impacted by it (although you’d never initiate it for yourself), that’s one thing, but if sex is something you hate, dread and struggle to even tolerate, don’t have it. Ever. No relationship is worth that. You are better off waiting for a partner who is truly compatible with you, rather than making yourself miserable for someone who isn’t. 

Don’t give up. Dating can be frustrating for everyone, but it’s especially frustrating when you have a big limitation on your dating pool. It is easy to feel like you will never find a partner, especially when the media loves to reinforce over and over again that sex and romance cannot exist outside one another. I can personally assure you, though, that love and romance are possible for romantic asexuals. The important thing is to not get discouraged - if a person rejects you or a relationship falls apart because of your sexuality, that does not mean that you aren’t meant for a relationship. It just means that that person was not right for you, and you are free to look for someone who is. 

Best of luck to you!

[gotinterest]

-Ok now that it's been even more time, I am no longer able to edit the above reblog, so it seems to lock edits to reblogs after a certain amount of time, not a certain amount of reblogs.

-IMPORTANT: deleting the original post with the poll on it breaks the poll. It will show up as a poll with no votes, and it appears as though attempts to vote in the poll will just cause a brief glitch where it looks like it recorded your vote, only to immediately reset to zero.

-Also since some people seem to be confused and haven't seen the tumblr staff post: ONLY SOME PEOPLE HAVE POLLS RIGHT NOW.

-It seems as though the code for polls is being actively changed because it's been several hours and I can still edit this reblog ALSO NOW I can't see the results of active polls as the original poster anymore even if I vote on them. I have to keep clicking on an option so I can briefly see the percentages pop up. Yet another great feature on tumblr.com!

-Also some people on mobile seem to be having issues seeing the poll options load up at all. Which is just typical of tumblr, isn't it? I'm also seeing reports of other glitches, like someone adding a non-functioning poll to a reblog and some people not being able to vote on a reblogged version of a poll post, and instead having to click on the root post in order to vote.

-Just confirmed via experiment that you can use the fact that polls base their countdown on the original creation date for a post by editing in a poll to a post that is less than a week old and setting the time limit to a week. In my experiment, I was able to edit a 2 day old post into a poll post that had a time limit of 4 days+the number of hours left in today. This is a very clunky way of setting a more custom time limit but it's all we've got at the moment.

-YOU CAN ADD POLLS TO ASK REPLIES >:D

-But you cannot send asks or submit posts with polls to another blog YOU CAN SUBMIT POLLS. I have been able to do this on mobile! But not on desktop, but that may be due to the blog theme of the person I was submitting to. IMPORTANTLY SUBMITTED POLLS CAN BE EDITED BY THE PERSON YOU SEND THEM TO SO YOU CAN ESSENTIALLY GIFT THEM A POLL.

-Another update: I'm am getting reports that some people are getting a bug where they can't edit their reblogs of a poll post. I have been unable to replicate the bug so far, but please let me know if you have encountered the same bug! Edit: I am seeing some people say this is specifically impeding them from editing their tags on a reblog of a poll.

Since this post has become a beacon of sorts to discuss functions and bugs of the polls function, I plan on compiling a list of bugs that people report back to me so I can send them in to WIP on Monday when they have their inbox open. Please let me know about any bugs you encounter! Hopefully this will help them target issues to fix before this feature gets rolled out to everyone else!

-Furthermore, it seems as though there is no longer a time limit on editing a reblog on a poll post as I have been able to edit this one for several hours now. I WILL have to test if that is related to the number of reblogs on a particular post, however. Will keep you all posted.

-MORNING UPDATE: there now seems to be a bug where if you see a reblogged version of a poll, it may show up as having no votes and you may even have difficulty recording your own vote. This may be a similar glitch to another one I've heard reports of where people had to go to op's blog to vote.

-If you have an older version of the app on mobile, polls might not work for you at all. You must choose: cute ghost tumblr icon or polls :(

-BTW I have started some tests to see if the number of options a poll has can affect load times. You can participate in those through this post here: X (link on X)

-THE POLL ON THIS POST IS FINISHED! I can see the final results perfectly well on my end, in contrast to the glitch where I couldn't see the results while it was active, even after voting. I think I will be retiring this post soon and replacing it with one that is far more organized.

Ok so initial information on Tumblr polls for those who are curious:

-You do not get a notification when people vote on your poll (waiting to see if you get a notification to say that your poll results are ready once the poll closes)

-YOU as the poll creator cannot see the voting data (as in which option is winning) of an active poll unless you vote in it yourself.

-Votes are anonymous, you can't see who voted on your poll.

-You can only put one poll on an individual post. If you want to conduct multiple polls you have to make multiple posts.

-The options for how long a poll is open are VERY limited- either 1 day or 1 week.

[stickswrites]

Hey, One Question: What The Hell? (Her Shadows Ch. 4)

As soon as I opened the door, Makoto and I were met with a few teachers sitting on the couches and talking. Dad was one of them. He was standing by the coffee counter with Hizashi, or Present Mic, and talking. They were probably talking about the quirk assessments we just did and how they could get all of us to push our limits.

"Hey, you two," Cementoss said as he walked up to us. "How was your first day?"

"Do you want the clean or explicit version?" I asked, arms crossed and glaring at Dad.

"The clean version please," he responded with a laugh.

"It was annoying, infuriating, and exciting in the worst way possible," I said with a huff.

"That bad, huh?" he asked.

Makoto chuckled at my reaction and put an arm around my shoulders.

"She's still annoyed that Aizawa didn't tell us he's our teacher," he told Cementoss, not adding in the fact that he was just as annoyed as I was.

"Ah, I see," Cementoss said with an amused smile. "Well, I'll leave you to it I guess."

Cementoss left the room, and Makoto waved goodbye to him. I was still glaring at Dad, who finally noticed our presence and had a look of worry cross his face. He set his coffee cup on the counter and excused himself from his conversation. He walked over to us, a nervous smile on his face.

"Hey, you two," he said as he walked up to us.

Makoto crossed his arms next to me. There was a tense silence as we stared him down. Dad finally got sick of the silence and started talking again.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was your teacher," Dad said with a small smile. "But you should have seen your faces." More silence. "What do you want me to say? I thought it would be funny if you two didn't know I was going to be your teacher."

"Oh we're only a little annoyed about that," I said. "What we're more annoyed by is the fact that you lied to everyone about lying about sending someone home."

"BUUUUSTEEEED!" Mic boomed, having heard our conversation.

"You two caught that, huh?" he said, ignoring Mic and putting a hand on the back of his neck. We nodded, our arms still crossed. "Why don't we talk about this in the car. I'll grab my stuff and we can head out."

"Alright," I said, conceding to his terms.

I adjusted my bag on my shoulder while Makoto and I waited for Dad to grab his stuff. He grabbed his sleeping bag and his bag that held all of the papers he needed. After grabbing his stuff, he walked back over to us. We said a general goodbye to the teachers in the lounge and walked out to the staff parking lot at the back of the building. We all climbed in the car and Dad started it. The car was silent as Dad pulled out of the parking lot and drove off. Once we were on the main road, I spoke up.

"So?" I prompted. "What was that all about?"

Dad sighed and there were a few more moments of silence. I knew he was gathering his thoughts to speak and didn't say anything to him.

"Well," Dad said. "Like you guys said, I was planning on sending someone home when I said that at the beginning of class."

"You probably already knew that someone would be Midoriya, didn't you?" Makoto asked.

"I figured he'd be in the bottom spot," Dad said, confirming our suspicions. "And I was right, but he definitely surprised me."

"With his throw, you mean," I said.

"Yeah," he replied. "Up until that point, I was already planning his expulsion. He didn't perform that well on any of the other tests. However, he did figure out how to use his quirk in a way that he was able to continue and complete the other tests."

"In other words," Makoto started. "He showed potential to grow."

"Exactly," Dad said. "Despite his inexperience, he's smart and showed real potential to be a top student here."

"So you went soft," I teased. "I thought you only did that with Mako and I?"

"Call it what you will," Dad responded with a chuckle. "One day I'm sure you'll thank me for keeping him in the class." There was a pause as Dad rolled his eyes. "And I don't only "go soft" with you and Makoto. I just do it most often around you two."

"Whatever, Dad," I said with a small laugh.

"All of that being put aside," Dad said. "You two did very well today in the quirk assessment test."

"Thanks," we said in unison.

"And Makoto," Dad started. "What you did for the ball throw was really clever. Good job."

"Thanks, Mr. Ai-... Shota," Makoto said, catching himself. "That means a lot."

The rest of the car was idle chatter, a few laughs or chuckles thrown in here and there. Soon enough, we got back to the house and Dad parked in the driveway. He shut the car off and we all got out, grabbing our stuff as we did. Dad and I both gave Makoto a hug before he walked back over to his house, even though we knew we would likely see him later that night. Mine and Makoto's rooms were on the sides of our respective houses that were closest to each other. There was also a tree in between our rooms, so most nights one of us would climb out our window and go to the other person's room to hang out. We'd been doing it ever since the tree was big enough to climb. Some of our deepest conversations and secrets had happened on those nights.

"Alright, let's get inside and feed the cats," Dad said, walking to the front of the house.

"Feed them?" I asked, walking behind him to the front door. "As in dinner? It's only 3:30, though."

"Is it?" Dad asked, pausing from unlocking the front door. "Seems like it's later."

He opened the door and we both walked in, immediately greeted by our needy cats circling our feet. They meowed at us as we took our shoes off and set them by the door. I closed the door behind me to make sure they didn't get out as Dad continued to the kitchen to see what food he could find.

"I'm gonna go shower, Dad," I called to him as I walked down the hall to my room.

"Sounds good," Dad responded, sounding like he had food of some sort in his mouth.

I walked into my bedroom and tossed my bag onto my bed. I closed the door so that I could shower and change in peace. I turned on my shower and let the water get warm as I undressed. Stepping into the shower, the water cascaded over my back and shoulders, relieving my muscles. I stood in the water for a few minutes before actually cleaning myself. Once I was done, I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. I dried off with my towel and put my wet hair in a french braid before I went and got changed. Deciding I didn't want to put my pajamas on just yet, I grabbed a red hoodie that I had commandeered from Makoto two years ago and a pair of black sweatpants. I got changed and then put my school stuff away in its proper place.

"Kiki, I made food!" Dad called from the kitchen.

I glanced at the clock and it had only just turned 4:00, nowhere near time for dinner. I sighed and grabbed my phone as I walked back out to the kitchen. I saw Dad at the counter, working on some food he had made. When he stepped away, there was a plate of cheese and crackers sitting on the counter. Dad looked so proud of himself for putting it together, but we both knew it wasn't going to qualify as dinner.

"We're ordering takeout tonight," Dad said. "Let's plan on getting groceries tomorrow after school."

"Sounds good to me," I responded, grabbing a cracker and putting a slice of cheese on it.

"Also, Makoto can come over for dinner tonight if he wants to."

"I think he already knows," I started. "But I'll tell him anyway."

Dad and I sat at the kitchen counter, laughing and talking about nothing of importance. At some point, I had texted Makoto telling him he was welcome to come over for dinner, to which he responded that he was already planning on coming over. The rest of the evening was fun. Makoto came over and we ordered some takeout from our favorite restaurant. After dinner, we sat and talked a bit, with the tv playing some unimportant show in the background. Around 9:30, Dad decided he was going to bed and told us to not stay up too late. Makoto and I both told him we wouldn't but we all knew that was a lie. Once Dad had gone to bed, Makoto and I moved to my room, where we sat on my bed and leaned against the wall. Yuzuki had forced himself in between us at some point in hopes of being pet, which he was.

"So," Makoto started.

"So?" I asked, wondering what he was going to say.

"What do you think of our class?"

"They're..." I paused, trying to think of how I would describe them. "Interesting. Powerful, but interesting to say the least."

"I'd have to agree with you," Makoto said. "Bakugo and Todoroki are probably going to be the top of the class. Yaoyorozu is definitely a contender though."

"I don't know about her," I said with a chuckle. "She did think that Dad was lying from the beginning about sending someone home."

"To be fair," Makoto started. "She doesn't know him like we do. None of them do."

"I guess that's true," I responded, petting Yuzuki as he purred contently.

There were a few minutes of comfortable silence before either one of us spoke. I think we both knew what the other was going to ask, but we also wanted to see who would cave and ask first.

"Was there anyone that caught your interest?" Makoto rushed out. "Like, any boys you thought were cute?"

"Oh sure," I said, thinking about how the majority of the boys in class were fairly attractive. "Lots of them are cute, but none of them are boys I'd want to date."

"How do you know that?" Makoto asked with a laugh. "You haven't even talked to any of them!"

"That's not important," I said while laughing. "I'm not enrolled at UA to get a boyfriend. If I happen to get a boyfriend while I'm at school, then that's fine. But, I'm not going to actively try to get one. It's a hero school, not a real life dating app."

"You make a good point," he responded.

"Of course I do," I said with a snort. Makoto pushed me over on my bed and I made an undignified noise in protest. "Rude," I said while sitting back up. "Anyways, what about you?"

"What about me?" Makoto asked, suddenly becoming very interested in the strings on his hoodie.

I looked at him pointedly and he just shrugged. I laughed and leaned against the wall again. Yuzuki crawled onto my lap. There was silence as I stared at him, waiting for him to say something. Finally he caved and started talking.

"Well," he started. "Uraraka is pretty cute. She seems really nice."

"It probably helps that you two both have quirks that have something to do with gravity," I responded with a smile.

"Yeah," he said. "You're probably right."

I didn't push any further and he didn't offer any more information, so I left the conversation at that. So we just sat on my bed, talking and goofing off in a way we hadn't been able to since we started training for UA. It was nice to just let loose and talk and laugh the way we used to. It was around midnight that Makoto decided he would head home.

"I should get going, Koko," Makoto said softly. "I don't want Shiore and Ichika to worry."

I groaned, but didn't try to stop him as he got up. I got up as well, going over to my window as he put his shoes on. I unlocked and opened it so he could get back to his house.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning," I said, giving him a tight hug that he returned.

"Yup," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Koko."

"I don't like that nickname," I grumbled. "I'm not even that short."

"You keep telling yourself that, Koko," Makoto teased.

We stopped hugging and Makoto started climbing out the window onto the tree. I watched as he climbed over to his house, making sure he didn't fall. When he got back to his house, he climbed into his room through the open window. He turned around to look at me and waved.

"Goodnight, Mako!" I called softly, just loud enough for him to hear it.

"Goodnight, Koko!" he called back. "I'll see you tomorrow morning!"

I nodded before closing my window and shutting the curtains. I yawned and stretched my arms above my head. I was more tired than I thought I was I guess. I sighed and changed my sweats into a pair of shorts and slipped my bra off underneath the hoodie, not wanting to change out of it. I turned off my light and crawled into bed, trying to not think of anything that might keep me awake. I don't know when I fell asleep, but I wish I never did.

As soon as I was asleep, my nightmares started. I'd suffered from really bad nightmares for years before and after Aizawa adopted me, but they'd lessened over time. I still got them, but they were infrequent and usually weren't that bad. Tonight's nightmare wasn't awful, but it definitely could have been better.

I was in my childhood home, which was not a pleasant sight. It was a small apartment with fast food wrappers and trash everywhere. My biological parents weren't big on hygiene. Or caring about anything other than themselves for that matter. I slowly walked around the room, taking everything in. I was nervous about what was going to happen. Very few memories I had of this place were good. I kept looking around, on guard for what would inevitably happen.

The door slammed open and two people walked in. Amaya and Takumi Tanimoto, my biological parents, stood directly in front of me. They stared me down and I was rooted to my spot in fear. Everything they'd ever done to me came rushing back. I got the sense to run away, but my father, Takumi, used his quirk to teleport directly in front of me. I raised my hands, trying to summon my shadows, but my quirk wasn't working. I walked backwards as Takumi stalked toward me as if he was a predator and I was his prey. I stopped when I bumped into Amaya, my mother. I whipped around and was about to run to the side when she gripped my wrist so hard I thought she might break it.

"Let me go!" I shouted, trying to yank my arm out of her grasp.

"Sweetheart," she cooed in a sickening sweet voice. "Come now. You ran away from us. You know we can't just let you go unpunished."

Tears started falling from my eyes as I continued to try to get away from her. Takumi walked up behind me and grabbed me from Amaya's grip. There was only a short moment of relief before he tossed me into a stack of boxes. I groaned as I rolled over and tried to get up, but Takumi was on top of me in an instant. He put his foot on my back and shoved me back into the ground, making me cough as the air was knocked out of me.

"Come on, kitten," he said. "You know we don't like to do this any more than you like to have it happen, but you broke the rules. That means you have to face the consequences."

"This isn't real," I whispered to myself. "This isn't real. You two are in jail. I'm not here. This isn't happening."

I kept mumbling those words over and over to myself, hoping it would snap me out of this nightmare. Eventually, after getting a few more kicks from Amaya and Takumi, my words got through to my brain and I woke up.

I shot up in bed, breathing heavily with sweat and tears on my face. It felt so real.

"They're gone," I whispered to myself, hugging my knees. "Dad put them away for good."

I looked over at the clock on my nightstand and saw that it was only 1:30 am. I hadn't been asleep for very long. I sighed as I flopped back onto my pillow, Yuzuki coming up and laying right next to my head, sensing I needed the comfort. I smiled as I pulled him closer to my chest and pet him. He fell back asleep rather quickly, but I couldn't. I traced my fingers over the scars that marred my face, angry at the people that put them there. They were supposed to be my parents. You know, unconditional love and all that jazz? Well, they did everything they could to be the exact opposite.

I shook off those thoughts as I closed my eyes, still petting Yuzuki. I fell back asleep eventually, hoping and praying that I wouldn't have nightmares twice in one night.

I don't think I'd be able to handle it if I did.

------------------------------------------------------------

A/N

"Koko" means small or short in Japanese, so that's why Makoto calls Keiko 'Koko'. I hope you all enjoyed this week's chapter! Sorry it took so long to get it out!

-Sticks

Word count: 3022 words

[imsysimsy-blog]

I have a question, how do you start a Rp community. I'm having difficulty figuring out what to do. Thank you. :)

I sincerely apologize for how late this question is!!

I start with a few questions to myself: What kind of community are you trying to start? What kind of group do you want it to be? Where are you going to host this community? How much do you plan to moderate it? What sort of rules are in your group? 

What kind of community? 

Is it a human RP or Supernatural? 

Is it focused around a certain age group?

A certain location?

Time period?

What kind of group do you want it to be?

Open to all

Apply for admission

Private

by invite only

Where will it be hosted? 

Twitter (Has app) - good for being able to post tweets and pics,good for having multiple characters. Each person has a message limit so if your group is very active people may reach that limit quickly. 

Discord (Has app) - My new fave - you can create a server for your group with channels and it allows for unlimited messages, italics and bolding within the app. It can be a little hard to have multiple character on one server. 

Facebook (has app) - I used to rp here. You can create private groups and set you profile to private. However Facebook used to go on purges and if your profile picture was pixelated you would lose your profile. This is good for group chats and what not as well as posting pics. Not impossible to have multiple characters. 

Tumblr (Has app) - I have never had an RP community on tumblr.. I do know you can make private blogs and  what not.. but that is the extent of my knowledge

Other places- I am sure there are other places I do not know of! 

How much do you wan to moderate it? 

This is REALLY Important. Modding can be a turn off but can also keep you super busy. I used to do heavy modding and tbh I don’t think I ever will again. 

I choose the important details and just ask that people respect that. Whatever people put into the group is what they will get out of it. 

What sort of rules are in your group? 

My biggest and most common rule is: don’t be a jerk, don’t be a bully. This is important because sometimes you might have to talk one on one to people who cross the line. 

I also like to ask that creators disclose their age so that all creators can make a conscious choice on what to RP with who. Understand that most adults do not want to RP risque (sex etc) or risky (Violence etc) situations with minors and no one should be allowed to lie about their age to dupe someone into this.

Make everyone feel welcome!  

Advertising your group!

Once you have this stuff down the fun part begins - telling people about your group and getting them to join! 

Make a post, pictures are helpful, that sets the scene for your group. Give all the details and be open to answering questions. 

The Early Days: 

As the creator of the group people will naturally sort of watch you. They will take cues from you. SO be as active as you can, start RPs, set the scene and tone. Once the group is self operating, that wont always be on your shoulders. Often however, big events and such will be on your shoulders to lead -it’s only natural. 

When you get new members be sure to go out of your way to make them feel welcome and included. It is SOOOO hard to join a group where it feels like everyone knows everyone and there is no place for you!

If you have any questions at all please do hesitate to reach out. I LOVE RP groups and would love to help make sure yours is successful! 

[missmentelle]

I feel really stuck. I'm trying to move fowards but something always comes up. I still live with my family and I have no privacy and have to explain where I’m going and what I'm doing all the time. I really want to get back at uni and I’m trying but that means no time to get a job and won’t be able to move. I can’t stand the city anymore, i can’t stand being so useless. I feel like I haven’t lived at all, i’ve never been in a relationship, haven’t travelled, how do i take control of my life?

It’s tough to make a step-by-step guide or action plan for getting your life together when I don’t really have a ton of information about your goals or financial situation, but I will give it my best shot:

Go easy on yourself. While there are some people out there in this world who manage to be world-travelling Instagram stars, planning their dream weddings and moving up in their glamorous careers at age 25, those people are very few and far between. Many of them come from incredibly privileged backgrounds or have the types of parental support that most of us can only dream of. Being unworldly, directionless and living at home with your parents is the normal 20-something experience. What you’re going through is common. You feel like you haven’t lived yet because your life has barely begun; you haven’t fallen behind, you and your peers are still on the starting line. You have a lot of time ahead of you, and it’s important to be kind to yourself, and to be realistic about the progress you’ll make. You aren’t going to go from being broke in your childhood bedroom to being a high-flying career person with a spouse and a ritzy apartment overnight. Be gentle, and don’t beat yourself up for being young and inexperienced - you have a long journey ahead of you, and you’ll need to save your emotional strength to make it through.

Focus on finishing university. At this point in your life, I think your top priority needs to be finishing your degree as quickly as possible, even if it requires some short term sacrifices. I know that your living situation is irritating and that you are tired of not having privacy, but if you can tolerate your parents and your city for a little while longer and keep going to school while living at home, you’re potentially setting yourself up for a huge advantage in life by completing your degree with minimal debt. The problem with putting off university to get a job and move out is that once you’ve taken on financial responsibilities like rent and bills, it will be a lot more difficult to find the time, resources and motivation to go back to being a student, and your options will be limited for moving into a higher paying job. It’s very easy to get yourself stuck in a vicious cycle of living paycheque-to-paycheque in a low wage job, and not being able to improve your situation because you can’t afford to quit your job and go back to school - my high school friends are in their mid-to-late 20s now, and many of them are now stuck in retail or service industry jobs because it’s difficult for them to give up their source of income and return to school, especially now that some of them have kids or partners. A degree is not a guarantee of a good job, but it’s certainly a mandatory minimum requirement for most opportunities now, and it opens up possibilities like grad school or law school; the sooner you get it out of the way, the sooner you can start building a career, gaining independence and saving up money for travel. University is also a valuable social resource - by getting involved on campus, you can start making meaningful friendships, meeting potential partners, and building useful connections. 

Try new things. One of the keys to living an interesting life and gaining valuable experiences is to actively try new things. It’s hard to gain life experiences by doing the same things over and over again. Challenge yourself to do at least one new thing per month. You don’t necessarily have to like it - you just have to try it. Sign up to volunteer somewhere new. Take a zumba class. Sign up for a new dating app. Write a short story. Change your hair. Start a blog. Go to a restaurant you’ve never been to. Join a local D&D group. You might be surprised by what you end up liking. I ended up in my current career because I took a psych elective to fulfill the social science requirement of my computer science program - sometimes trying something new can lead you down a whole new path you never imagined. It’s also a great way to meet new people that you might never otherwise have met.  If you’re feeling like your life is in a rut, new experiences are a great and easy way to un-rut yourself. 

Have side projects and goals. It’s easy to feel like your life isn’t going anywhere when you don’t have any way to measure your progress. Even while you’re stuck living at your parents’ house, there are ways to keep moving forward with your life. Always have a project or hobby or goal in your life that you can work on. The possibilities are pretty much endless - you could work on your physical fitness, an artistic project, knitting, improving your cooking, journalling, photography, restoring furniture, learning a language, playing an instrument, etc. Anything that captures your attention. Set small, manageable goals and track your progress. Feeling like you are improving in one area of your life can go a long way to calming your jitters when you are feeling stuck in other areas of your life. 

Don’t rush into a relationship or “settle”. It’s hard to predict where or when you’ll get into your first relationship - you might meet your first partner next week or five years from now. Some people meet the love of their life on Tinder within weeks of signing up, some people use dating apps for months without success. All you can really do is put yourself out there, keep working on yourself as a person, and see what happens. The one thing I will advise, though, is that you be cautious of settling for the first person who comes along. If you’ve never been in a relationship and you really want to be in one, it can be tempting to rush headfirst into a relationship with the first promising person you meet - especially if you’ve had to watch your other friends be in long-term relationships for a while now. If you meet someone who seems great, it can be easy to get very serious, very fast, and rush straight to “let’s move in together”, especially when you are already looking for a way to get out of your family’s house. Don’t rush. It’s okay to be disappointed that you haven’t had a relationship yet, but remember that a relationship should be something you get into because you truly want to be with the other person, and not just because you want to check “dating” off your list of adult milestones. If you meet someone, that’s fantastic, but remember that it’s okay to take things slow - if this is really the person for you, they will still be there six months or a year or two years from now. Getting too serious with someone too quickly can mean missing some glaring red flags, and tying yourself financially to someone you haven’t been dating very long can be a recipe for unwanted stress.

Remember that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s easy to blame your problems on the city you live in. The world is full of people saying that everything would be better if they could just get out of this town. Thousands of people dream about moving to NYC, and there are thousands of people walking around NYC who dream of getting the fuck out of here. No matter where you live, there is someone who dreams of moving there, and no matter where you want to go, there is someone there who is desperate to leave. No place is perfect - every place has its perks and its downsides (for instance, NYC has lots of things to do, but every square inch of this place smells like stale urine and hot dog water). Unless you are making a drastic change in setting - like from rural to urban, or from one country to another - you’re going to find that most places have very similar problems; high rents, rising cost of living, too much competition for jobs, bad dating scenes, overcrowded public transit, crumbling infrastructure, etc, etc. There might be legitimate reasons to want to leave your current location - you live in a dying small town, the climate where you live is affecting your health, you want to work in an industry that only exists in a specific location - but it’s important to keep in mind that location isn’t everything, and you can still make progress in your life while living somewhere that you don’t necessarily love or want to stay in. 

I can relate a lot to what you’re going through - while most of my friends moved out on their own right after high school and started what I thought were glamorous adult lives, I lived at home with my incredibly overbearing parents for four years and took the bus back and forth to a sensible, commuter campus university in a city that I didn’t like. I had friends and I did my best to make the most of my time in college, but part of me felt like I was being denied the formative experiences that other people were having - moving in with their partners, getting an off-campus apartment with roommates, partying all night and not having to answer to their parents, and so on. After graduating, though, I was able to find a full-time job in my field earning more than double the minimum wage, and I moved into an apartment with my best-friend-turned-boyfriend. The money I had saved by living at home during university allowed me to go after my dreams of attending grad school in NYC, and that decision led me to all kind of experiences I never expected to have and friends I never expected to meet. At 26, my life isn’t perfect, but it’s definitely well beyond what I expected when I was a frustrated 21-year-old commuting to school and having my mother constantly ask when I’d be home. Change takes time, and your 20s are tough. Have patience, and keep doing the best you can.

Best of luck to you!