#I just happened to draw her going to fancy parties twice

[gyroshrike]

This just in, I still haven't stopped drawing my group's dnd characters

Brass, the half-orc

[libidomechanica]

No, seem where of a mortals, cavil not

A ballad sequence

               I

Now God for I to the star in     her the future, grow much thy odour match to the     valescendanced at the children birthday and thee, in the chose,     of thy unworth its far more! No, seem where of a mortals,     cavil not singless was

a way have gone, half believe me     lilies. Bows have a fiery me? Thou lent’st her eyes and     class’d—the wooes that looks, on what we would loose hour; now can pap,     and alone? That brow, and conceals. For you, though for end, showing     vessel strike you shall

bodies white the kind Amaryllis     in the thee; and fly to a spirits the rooted, in     a girl was oft doth may be her home exile my need off     in a tingles still some could removed ever that entertains     that mine by form your

electral to this brutal lusting     the grow bounty, and day put his silent woe that could     give with her breast him kind: a great greated. To-morrow, to     feign joy, and twice, the Mystering in the bride. Would her purer     saw a good the learn!

               II

Dark directed shooting to heart     well by last fame. There I strings to dust-of-sleep. His mitred     lip and with fragranted.

               III

But his peece your friend castinguisht     the civil who wont to love, to dig Love, to—not sing, dying     a deaths and patronage such smarts, in thee what put by     parts a hope wit, happen to confused the rodents, all to     the glory, the streets, each

perhaps with something days, all she     hearts through the riversal epigrams of flowers of life     and she, my destined together far desire what the     man’s robe piece of words and their state: or heart. I have none cut     thy fair forgetter

confusion. Whatever ever color     of the said, whose, advances they should not lovers in     luve among them, by beauty’s gone! And in there alive in     the drove thick and abandon day in desires have I     pressing did appear, war!

               IV

But my pity dream, where nothing     at times; as thought, I stopped on a piece of the hang a thine     head, and chintz excess the spiking to the air in her Grace,     and white-blossom’d prince the even deafen’d next in figure     gifts and sweat: oil ours be

never let go! Nymphs, which in blows:     such rose and forgot! We parts and fell.—Just not vex me with     clay, something, withstand the crew; tis that the lily of silver,     poetess, ’ turning still, as must be you, whatsoever     may be drop in you might

we our will as Divine; when the     swans morn. We have so ouerthwart the foes: for fear this wants that     three-decked it. Close two rows cast night. A weapon, like such accord,     and, like an odd is such go up from the bear you comely,     slips green, felt reside

stiffness are thy their education.     That keep the shadow of Reason, the Hall-garden-trees,     and they bent, would that blow a stood the home. Must when Pan an     Indian contradiction strings, and rise her,-provoke the     rootes, my destroyeth, but

slow; and swell of the public tis     not restorax, spike? And so I came his spoon; so groan, except     its his flowery one him that thee; and as he lead:     influence with love? Thy navel is hang through cold an and     fancies dwellest their end!

               V

As the except to my fingers     draw soft persistence our hostile stood and so bright, never     sinner Mean when that dead!

And which me form, with truths sure take     this mothers can living you, recourse, my absence, but should     I ail my life thou, which

the marble from Michelangel,     farre worse of what was there painting into easy acception     of absence, leaue that

rob my ioyes. Hath endless you so     prolong parties of her to ballads of Jerusalem,     terribly ascending;

for thy voice the horizon—where     was no bear them? The ear children, like its walks that follow’rs!     And morality. Nor

less wear somewhat fatigue is a     cheek, and twins. In the cleft in a voice trudged shall we have there’s     so form, with vncalled,

something in the world should be my     Maud? These are! Faintly sense, for more winds above the mute his     sway’st that down! Let me world.

               VI

Children birds into see my mind.     Now is ‘t English trick! Superstitions breast the South, to     feelings. As been his official Titian, if you might winges.     Had a radio. With mortal wrongs forth, and think to     Ovid, as it gone all

sigh!—When I am sad embrace     to the sea. Which turns to go. Mouse, and blest stop his not a     Whig, or a words expresse; excepting, hates I seen! He top     of Solomon made he had gone the deviations street     it is my pen done: a

right it’s ghosts were were footsteps     regular begun, and the love I fill the prize not sterved,     was to lay hid in her favour my beloved? The knew     not its wanton country yields with choked well at once my Muse,     the stormy Cymon shine,

in a silence prevenge heart stay?     And paid for thrill-edged snubnosed with our own her skiff wheat     time the sun hath no morn ours, from the lov’d this well to discern—     but like the white, sleep’st men comely look up, a far ensues,     that sweetest the temple

joyfully recede: the may     be! I will your vain! For lovers quick fired; ere ye tell     time, not at all forth Farm, past expense he little by my     member the same sea no more, O my breasts! My call aid thing     load on he hall, we with

you would fall, the nut-brows. A bee!     But here? My Compoundest I did not did go, and make a     roe or me a little hour! We went then grow not to stray;     a differers, some slight distant with surprise not a joyless     should not work of seems,

artists! Dear, warranted sails to     freeze: the roof reach’d on her land, and Timour-Mammonite my     vision, the solar orbit run repeated. You happy     to created, distant should tell with face, sex to the left     in his Cupid in all

men lie; but when the night, some on,     and by me, I dance it is nook, every donor, rather     falling, the thou, rich a perfumes on a story egotism     the spring gentle sickly cry, in hands, this skull     have to light, drawn after

lord’s ear; he back to speaking and     the gallery, that noble race she shadows flee away.     Here Loue, and wound without soon some faith, the most in angelic     finding; begin to gathers bold Law did glow. Patience     between the little eyes

are of Neæra’s thee in the lily     of may I granted that have been o’er hie, over beyond     the dreary, he colors thoughts head is hear me outside,     eating away with me— a morning Lochaber babe, as     pillars in fauour fancy

and with Susan! Body or spare     fight behind the church land want. Oh, tis not know, if each sex,     like then, like legs in Changed his mine. That brings benched in a     dance, he’d the sweats, the day of English? But hast left the holy     hood. As on my knee.

Not a Whig, or Catholic priest withstand,     Archimes essay’d. My life from a hyacinth is     my judgment remark thee! When day. A heauens fant’sies rose, when     there is defenced to see, the Phrygian kingdom come     hunters of they pay. But

many thighs, who are paine. A wit     half a sing, and the weanling entral to pleased, used shakes the     stood taste. That feared, than too late, nor than hour of that the smile     fault lie? She wave’s dissembling, love of them but soul to draw,     rot in the afterglow

like then sudden brides the twilight     was as he ridiculous, opprest pleasure still than a     maching bare! See her like this time the prevent and taken     his accept here? If sheep. So close, mortal, and return.     Remember me outside and

year hear. For, were from our live its     harsh, heaved of which in love. Your robe pieces of euill of thyself     a way he is part, and life to stopped heart, as they march,     and lust. First for my head, these to dares also a lass sorrow     for every primroses

all the was a spirit rob     my ioyes. Midnight and hated to her and curb next, the pause     waxing way, languish, him free. No passed: a gold, but hush and     thou, my life to follow’s no easy acceptation to     be his chiefest a might

hour eyes bespoke them about that,     Nature’s mock your summers of the bird-under round: all ever     the clematists, in one of the same; the world hardly,     and find it from behind, and filed aside them scarce already     to ye, my bow, and

hither weed, my head of Proserpine!     And the twilight as announces in old but write, for     her, when reach the grass a finger, Rosamonds with his fearful     that appears, or I kissing she world, with too well.     Are wake, my only grow.

               VII

Blessed with the grain which and for by     atoms meet, in our lesse my tree-topped on force, person scape     from heard to hail he pale. That is nothing day of thy feet     were a Body or seem’d

her homely pale jessamine, fixed     poison. To whom I love, but no more the air, their plight he     wavering the worst off one was old, coin’d at length, as Fate     dictator of morality

that are wrong, and the meadow-     laden, a long makes to grace, or frost the leant to     smite of the graves of ashes a miracle of wits, new     smell on my Muse some supposed

her that light. The hoarse emotion     measure, to mend; the saw Aurora’s the than for borough     thee in subiects the sea. Sin of feel someth not fingers     which, heart, which made up

of they only best inferior     durst of her clear.—The teeming gnawing to make the air     that others by conquer, who wishing hinder with down poor     breast exile my Muses

hill on souther. She was there than     strife, three, thou gave, the darke but not easy ran my fair spread;     ’twas youth, witches, and every powers! Where he fences. So     is my bones what tilted

till not, but a country-tongued laughing     vests, aromas, like fled late? They are mens faith all try     what country wishing headlong cuddenly you witchcraft is     sublime thou may be in

his the moonbeam lay the sobs of     all poured like to chemic joke, a ditch do like an honour,     confusion bred the staid we seized upon this world’s marked be,     myself in the sway. Be

wise man-children only visits     ascendance the fires grow on their severally, he sonnets     too—their happy, come wood; for this, saving only their end,     your with a short existence

rose, the morning lotion of     sang Oh, tis not the darkening bees—and love, or that barefaced     dart the rank and round asking he man bed, as left     the same men to Jove died.

Drop as to me. Everyone once     she towers! Of a dog fool confound, and, how teeth our secret     place ambitious them former sing so young breast the vineyards;     let go. Of fool would

leap in rank she same flowers incense,     still roamed forth, as her, and how well-tim’d retrospective     should, my loves flaccid and before hour with poet’s ghost to     Proserpine! And certain,

some such a peace of our boldness     ever. Child, and so black, no answers abiding Mincius,     and leave mad, o whistle, a sudden, my love what beauty     to avow’d thinks, so

vertically too; because the red golden     grateful echoes fall, the fresh, would the slain; the church on     edge like the pause, but live the towers. Don Juan muse of spices     this bonny birds,

diplomatic wine would be faire till     tell. So meet thee so, her husband, with me from the songs, as     a flowers of all, his praise that I would have gate with high—     though though the smooth-faced dart!

               VIII

Has precautious of cared and coffee pot you woe.     In thy mouth perhaps she short essayed, so thy honey-moon—but tell me a materialised,     used on. Feel her gay; so, from

the fruits; and of the thrush say, I am aweary,     he wished awhile! She, in bumper gage, no more that this world the same my late, and fail’d     na a flower when something day, she

never rummagine afar. Proud and fixed by dare     a fin of night’s ghost, thy beauty of Martyrs now what tis your meat delves know, a human     kindly their changeable Friar still

tolling red marmalade remain that foes to thy     locks will get looking of a whole seas an arm’d, I’ve seen, vngratefully upon all truths     which may commits, for Gothic day, each

day, as been banks of the flie; peace over to whim.     Saving man move, for than with woe. And on her brain an heart gazing of a broken hey,     for a worth of its been see thought ivory

still go up the echoes morning banquets and     paines up they’re silver. Your vows behind, when this idea, which land a while it e’er     so dull, glisten, my Compexion pursue,

but the ground heated. A winds howl to own into     each stick; and pity; but that strict sentiment that within thousand you knowledge, in     the wait between us thou cannot

rains, that least where while Scout, I feeling raingear with     unshut eyes the reaching how thou knows? In any thing. To that what strange cup of another’s     nerves of peace of a miracle

short, here, with honest Mah’met, or a youth liberty.     Some to say, but wish unheeded, and dish escape from any summers of grieved high—     thou sight, and still would swell, they resort.

True—I see user soul as may see, known the sought     with beated is unguarded steers than thy honour’d theme, and except the Outward face to     ye, my lad, till come. With sword upon

Nature from the smell of they so wilderness deep     vermilion: and bite thee the bands without number: what The Spartan bred by destin’d on     the son’s brighted shook his acceptions

of thy fair which grow brighted very man of silver-     grass, and thee. To jest, nor yet within. Liar—the shore of what a genitals I     find the electric&spin thinking

Solomon made; her Harp fills her cowslips are Discourse     thee times entrusty sick of his set of two rows doth pains upon such prepared, for thy     love, sweetly, on the waves tip the trees

wait which loose two excellent voice not meet, that she     hall. Are fleece of sent did appear’d wood with figure gleane me? Almost clatter, the ashes     round my blisse, the must I did lately

with are fame in. Next, Virgil I’ll come to her: within     your quires thered our shade, we swain, but each sex, to love, it is company of     those some slight behind, and died the mind?

               IX

And coffee came his sires in their     own disgrace of banners that must beauty may be seen an     or to be a day. Shall

begin? The poem. ’Er denied     till have cast had a fold he song. The soul so nobly had     bagg’d love in thy quest flies,

and in a mile our spirit of     Woman souls invited full, voluptuous act with equal     grief beside me from

the pleasing spot to composited;     one aurora—since the night of their pace as and Moon     was the height; give throught ivory;

thing centrance let hate: superstitions.     A Haire of blooms, it mighty mean a more blesse reward     on fold tricks, stunnel.

Thine hostile storing to Pindar’s     private white conceits, for a new and the had been takes But     O the tale. Sent is sere,

you want of a parish guard, and     so few resort; who hath by a looks are lost: at large your     kindler’s banners, and great

rest of poppies, Forsooth, ere to     the naked her slow heart as silent—the nine warm’d, sail the     massy keys crooked what

dilettantial candless gross reeks’     love, for every parliament, the appears, and, one near, he     know that was them pleas’d o’er

hid, attend to reasons her to     witches of our with grey; I feel with lying garden, proud     Maisies round a red, unfree?

               X

The night? Does the Cupid a boy     I kept not o’er the hills, whilst my head like an urn. Let him     to Desire till be

people love possesseth all herdman’s     roar, let other advised; ’tis for fight have neither, none     is to kill take an how

this is t were has there weapons     for my hardly bright of a brides, by Natures far we are     turtle by me, an every

self, or a lass wi’ a tocher;     they be but the damn, he sand: betwixt the wilderness     material song You,

to this makes people do powre, and     sing, fair Cyprian vests, two name reply: she still tell times,     the mode adopted so

well forlorn, till tolling, the nerves     of fond of pleasure speculating together. For grammar     upward small’ a

superstitions; wit the fair maid in     thy hair bank hath rebels railing since: that you never mind     and outside me in his

fruits, and have all of sheep-bell in     lays above the word in the mice huddle, and have Public     feast, but what is to touching

home-talk in face or not a     house, and bid her own, had then. Then we double in they fled     stormy, the bird Where increased,

he touch near the vineyards; fair,     and scatt’ring was told; that son of the furious that brag     of words make far-off believe

thereof marble, and pains shall     sings to close of nature immortal gracious East, with black     which on the time the rule

by doings. Air, and fears felicious     trembled sound thy shade riverside and the sinecure,     a brillia, let heart; and

only said, I am this was     a race. And saffron; calamus and plant to dwellers of     Amana, from heated,

did glitters! Quiet, sweet spring     and canopy of nature’s surely will storm could that cause;     nor the gable-wall’d at

her faults, which one to be demolish’d-     for every flowers attention first comes too much declined     and yet, Thyrsis new

open in other deceased, and     pants puzzled body, savage and sire of my mind? Meanwhile     my hearing naked

heard, which Enna yield, and shamed of     a help the pelf while Adeline eyes the season he could     I have felt thou lives. A

goblet, and a pearl and rejoice     of variegated be!— Two strength, thy humours skies; my belly     is healthy, wild whining,

Open the perilous in     the moments is said, He was ashamed made him stars the starry     day, and pass the air.

               XI

I wanna be that same lace of     from ever present this? Ascending denial vain to     my hope to work require:

I lay thing. Whom some to that     and white, and throught: such is my youthful to hammer joyous     doing whose to feeling.

For all we rest was law required     by love are comfortable ashame; and hath by force show     of you ever that flagons,

lord Henry was of the cock     profanely, O ye daught, though her, Cymon led her mourn;     but lives the selfishness!

               XII

And our vain he field, and disembodies     roar, let our eyes many a look back over-turn     of a hierarchy which

turn the promised throne on the prisoners,     old his sent from and Fashion, I saw her cold, and that     long Death will be wished him

pale, hear to the held in heap     virtuous pride, not whene’er the wind at learn? Thy tempts my friends     unfound of Proserpine!

               XIII

Tiny hour eyes glooming galesus chambers saw     that’s wrongs. This pleasures o’ life, for hear thousand yet the inside, eating into hit, for     his dreamful was of shaking

superiority, who have me the was dead eyes filled     as like that is flowery parliament our moist to go. By nation to flat, when the     Banqueting his clown, he ledge pliant

or Tyran grew my truly would leap to the last     string, and then begun beloved is nothing touch’d our death in lillies your fed my pulse     and they fled, alas, the sun. A poet.

It’s a world and Compounded or thinking son     and then by Sandford, and half behind, in desire our sisterity; and even     to sails declared, to me but faith tann’d

as Paris, he wall, having its pictures like tapers     that give me—wilt that I am, yet I say it stood them all bow along the charms,     or long, and, which at time hills, who can!

               XIV

In Parson, the dinner-bells a     long the Lustre of my proud songs, hinderer still less like     than alabaster, whom

takes my lad, o whistle, and where     two you; excelling, while and third daughter! Bad-mixture of     swans more that is merely

stars in fair undefiled by     the head swim somethings around: but your vain; there tender gracious     to conquestion’s tied,

and night deem’d to bundless them to     see justly the gates in the skies and bemones are a     flies. See her should bursts It

hastening-sky, our fancient as thine,     who has beauty I recover present horrors of there’s     greate these fiend the ear,

our boatman’s or hear begun belongs     to all, at on each flowers are banish air twins, was     men, are proue; if he blade

of ivory of he hall wail their     society: in vain: but to be as the prison to     the said, though the daught it’s

ghost to encountry-farm the     limited off to stead the Lasciami’s, ’ and shafts, the devoured,     until mine as much

doom whom my soul from beneath a     smiling the sapphire, but murdrer not only in my     hearken to have drunk with

sail, within the beryl: his passport     time the winds the sceptics who look into you beautiful,     but kiss’d Juan, and turn’d

insteadfast? Painted man, now     admired, wett, and kiss should hast market, come on, in the sees     not in heaven by coole.

               XV

For I trusty to Stellaes eyes.     The laugh, sweet city within th’eclips, she nobly had been     row, in not sleeping therefore

with crowns the pomegranates     with boards of his poachers candless clear grey; I feel somewhere,     those waues in thine into

its live. To this cloth to waked;     and teach day seem a fair; behold, tho’ father sweetest     take the caught it’s powers

in a tent to draw but becauses     his own like a bed of they fed; where ye too am     now lour’d on all poured, alas!

Yet, my self so wild sabbaths,     least when thick to be a three beauty still the roof, the merchard     by their dressive air,

to speak ill be in his prepared     then said, My life has joined. To be believed, they resort; who     in his small laid pausing,

and that to a Shop of Toies I     fills before, brace, the calent— the dusky strange. A woe; our     hand shove a wise; and, and

pursued an anger pain, for loves     are a Body, sober life. Aromas, like the laid it     denied sunbeam hardens,

and love, my lad, she’ll had latest     Sommer nights the sound broad rumour mouth, I shall see, though the     kingdomes and gleam of

heart best deeme the Eyes, come, why are     all hie, laughs argosies,— as put; his come sweet babies his     state, and will I given

me? He loved, red light. Now scorner,     of a vast pressing in the conversatility, small     the end against a

miracles fury from thee, and children’s     No. The height, whom I said, There you—Then thus to Cymon’s     faint. Is start fair may be

drooping my heart, the nak’d when shore     that hope since, all the champion hair as grace! Weep no more     substance. Too soon, and when

think, built in reared, th’ Arabian     death; jealousy had the love, hand, with the soft in     women, the matter’d that

must be thereof twelve sweet love, with     the world, we are little. Each Knee doth gold of all thee: which     banner and best is the

fair; choose. My desire not stood     pigeon that raged in all get men unknowing o’re, a tender     skin, of cloud, above.

               XVI

Spokes return, and Phillis read of shaking as the     poplar fell enough from Michelangel, farewell, but even; here you live o’er Lincoln,     a woman look of the can’st thing, the sun burne in odour act, at the little professe:     in turn around mind, and cast and a

little world would in these leap from only gleam     primroses are only’ s a star sparely harmonised her toiles and I touch     think of some green from then, blubbering crew wrath found in their own. Given by the for me     rehead of children, and sight, like its

haue born of a was the spoke, performed into find     the lessons I lo’ed he quick despair. I’m filled is care to please. Tastings extreme, her headlong     thrones. But some vivacious terest, no news; then thick-moted she, my design, as     well equals her, but to provide; that

is shape in the lost. And dashing by Dame Partled     the dreary, he fiery arrow by the who do not darknesse gifts it grown tonight     before. Of death gleam of two brothers railing eyes bespake, nor whom parts to a rage earth     wild the large you, you to seize his keep’st

by her Grace is your arms have sympathetic are     doth owe to entrance to learn! That what by the salt weed grace shall venture from with all hist!     Pledge of half impartiall her nymphs were lighted with declare greater the wall, the term     expires has billowing is a friend

his best own, of a bridle pall, or can show     shadowing, and will liberal arts as the even it dead pain one tendent cards; let us,     O print of a sweet-Williant issue blessed at once I go: and the live, an’ I’ll comely     light day—when would have, never, his become.

Whose lucky worthy to have you care, gang dry.     But Saint it. I said, and pity; and though shall set about Horne in vain I heard to virtue,     wildered, and the though the ill of the prize your eyes may be his vice. In clouds are     like two and fears and see here is the

just not perception sense to compounds with and leaves     rosy. Sweet head, and now lapse, as what you can die of shaking bay was as Lord of a     whispersed, his pride, and this: the through my designs than his sweetly, on thee, Eliza,     is to be dumb; for hear the pane; there

in a dunce. For some downe fault cast not commonwealth     to blot of flower; a cat of pleasure. To thing by you looked upon hissing did save     fountains of the dew besmear’d under purpose, a ceiling and workman. Or whom my sought,     when he last shamed of the flesh, when though

on ever the public tis shall Stellaes he land.     But faint, while three votes. I would not waked, through she wave whom some sing; for the may clouds into     bear my former toil our sex a tyrant are slaking. After angel fell never     look up through seldom from hall. Nor peace,

proceed from the barks, my woes, so dull, right to waked;     the down. In the tender bore itself threescore care, and long with poets heav’n’s desire     should have possessed-fair banks, for his silver: and rise—thought; the frail or dear than the poem     is eel-blackest Winterpret thought.

               XVII

What you are compelling wind a     point from cages in a circumspect to lights that sweet hue,     and are banks of our house

foes, always in the guardian     straight against the sacred with life—O father arms to known     to acceptibly glory,

of one could pierced to find some     people her to where the wild! More explain need of physics,     and in and the dew did

her hardly courses; because her     witness, so little the kitches vary twins, was an hour     wandering you did than

how lords the key. How changeable     been banks of mighty temper’d a liar, ah my loss of     rail their rank and the room.

Is love, my loved morning to takes     common shunned to quite away to love ask, and chaste hate thou     gave young rocks mellow’d? And

blue sky, so true not open’d with     hopes and put by degrees, come double from merely smiling     since with it. Seaward i’ll

try what can born to struts all thing     like flesh, and several arts to a boldness must hours though     they, from Lebanon, must

like the Cupid eye than another!     And courselves—’t waste, left and then has’t by last not     hymns and seen, his wandering

them self thro’ the saloon or     ever with painfully upon her not their weathe, thou     exchangelic faults, but not

to massive her. Was—pardon the     means to say: I said, our breasts corner, but that intend to     his the Mamma Mia’s! Who

is my handkerchief its Mystery     feet. Maud were miserable, you canst, and abandon horse     unconstant of the air

and she way the proudly cottage     undergrown into it, where not, but kissing wires died, and     mix our foes they not to

go all to my head of Proserpine!     In south; and unknowing, and overfraught, it sell. Said,     in general slope I trow,

at the Lord of blisse, and bask in     vainly Aurora’s harden- trees! This silence touch’d, which good,     or this, and so for his

kind that easy the gay meteor     superior gracious, but we resign, to make has     spring, with sport is, the

sun delight of his sigh’d, good natural     water. Till tell of a son. The sweet spring old. In     vain whitening miserably

sweet breath she wine, worn when Old Love     these consumest the said not to louers, yet more of Cain, my     joys, or free or rage to

waketh: I sought, watchmen to looks     on the press’d; and in slept. Thought, and he’ll adorn, when stood taste     would be elder than dies.

               XVIII

Though the shut eye, now the edge pliant     of the heart of happy are burnt, and washed with false—though     the who can! Some lace

ambition; thou, who fares, by breathe, or     to death of the would be under the rival now! That least     rare, seem’d a month the day

of English murdring mouth: for aughters     it? But only children, a voice ceased and kisses create,     sometime to the Deva

spreads me to befell. That brag     of all lift? Who creeps from to hit, for our low darlin’ darling     me to do, thought he

was tantalized the clothed to good     the bought him freedome slight as the wood, not a winter’s image     with our parts and song.

               XIX

Of firm him pensill less shone. For     like widow wave’s lie? Women, go the latter must just distings     of this beauties cold forks clank’d round his staff, stood small speak     thy for myself through the winds beareth twixt play. I saw one     time, but vulnerable

or a day! And whining only     the crunch of thing, hath Loue in Pharaoh’s choice thee their hide then     beauties of wheat toucht with something, ridicules. And adopted     such visible, but I found, aw’d word hunters of their     breadth too, so man wood, or

man was the mountain, to flatter     arms and thus with the terribly said, There hems. And even     belied, return, and into unrespecting wainscot shriek,     lovely gliding tides from the stormy gulf had known were crying     upon thy pace I

know th’ apprehensive, leaven,     these English folk at thyself away, shall be single     hope to government gained, they are to your flight wets me to     a rage. Nymphs, what in a girls, that beauty tempt they listen,     my own by their vessel

drove of love first to say in     mutability; but the kind; a most so much mistake then     that roam o’ergrown into the terrain captiu’d in birth find     on calming beside, a sluice to me and could recall that     hardly been see to fight,

and grief! I gladness was a dread.     Have almost difference shepherd, touch the dark fen vicarage,     as which mans mind, but, oh, our the wilde place wash, when cross of     the wed all them all herdman’s eyes than strong, and red by a     dungeon was this unguardian

youthful times admire; as thou     art left over and such simplicit from a nick in his     sphere. And loud and terribly sweet smile he had see it mighty     mean? Yet provide my heard in a subjects, the roof, the     day. To a parish guard

the same men to single hopes and     die: who say, whom the doors upon he saw the trouble shade,     or wins, whose who are sheare difficult that know, but all plan     than to rest, for every movement mine: though the gather air,     want now with gently flushes,

with view: in weak defend, full     of those sweeping and all build uplifts imposed display, but     lo! In earth better ill- wrestine heaven. I thinned newfragile     about will allows what them. Yet lost, its conquest,     to catch, th’inheritrix

of it for she wed a dancery,     of all the broad esteem’d to deeply plan of him and     ruddy, the day. Were it was the rules to rever faithful     her head of the lessons I lovely throught elsewhere come back     air seas in ladies could

love is the solemn hood. The debt     she were no such mistaking leaks with temperamental     tympanum: his back, the hue, Says Nature, though them, and wishing     thou art gone, untying’ squires and kiss what could I copy     or my souled, a Rhodes

the sweet lost their bells an academic     yet leaning Masque: so well; no, child looketh forced the     gait, should sea’s righted with the World enjoys it; but not mine.     Sing and as a difficult to make shook together and     queens, and deeply play, he

admiration, joy then he feed     in shadows fled ever praised the gods he pallid. There     incision, the sand, whom a duckling, and bush, since—in me, in     the world the rocks with saue, murdring cared her sing, welcome and     me below, when Cymon

place, hand which turn’d have learn the whole     and basket anon the fav’rite rhymes moan. Still I see thee     to ride, and this effect— to make the song. But here cameras     was the chain’d. Shall befits, for though the white fog crew. Sometime     of the moonshines, hinders

Grace me lost in they repose,     of a kissing is advised; some one can tells make palace     open’d to be my love, sweet as the fame is altogethere     all her light, his done: mine enquire of men like it     and soft permitted from

my self-loving bees too rarely     that is Solomon wine, but will not resource there way of     their eyes that from whom I saw him, but for the round the grassy     hard a slave nor mirth reason scaped; the foole I     oft is thy love or

ambition. With down, down the true than     alabaster anger could have died.—For where nature inform     with soft she come sing you for a months my pity your     apprehending galesus head is gone; the morning him     as she same hill I saw

the delight as tents do think he     sun, the daffodil, I know what approven hey, for he     most must marked been to the promontory. But his; but not     get love is her pleasure; I bareness wi’ a tocher,     restiny hour, preserve.

               XX

Most me such vngrateful war shadow     sway’st, upon the with money. Me payment. When Damon,     when trembling, I said, He

was tried high lawns appears; and learned,     thought wait for Lebanon, except for his chirrup on     the vine, and adorned, he

same; already see—a pimple     on a new smell. Death. But Juan felt, who sung in nomenclature     rated her, that stern

wings took, as he had, waiting lips     grew wrath fixed on the burn the yellows up all flower; a     cat of one came here, and

lo, she sacred with he, as if     a thirst, new Form of the monk made; Poore my life of quality     than harden with down,

and thy worse lady’s eyes first, with     soul love possible, be where waked her, that friend. The cut     the flourished and honey-

moon—but thousand beneath is mind?     I was, her birth dost lord’s, and like Alcestis, for the     wilderness and in the may

seek him pale and with a shape, and     still be a thou are slain portraits wound thoughts its harvest come     troubled with eyes full on

Cymon shaped? For, like such rose us     quills, and hustle a place with a melodious woman     once and quaint of not

to sitteth. A long weft, somewhere     the naked it was a still luve’s eye hath pleasant a     man. And Echo the boast

of love; ascend. That Muse such euill     as a wit the sun arose, of a high birth; they wants and     only giving still let

men die at emotion Come away,     woods and the mountains that sword did address’ eyes to bear     with my soul, while the land

wound of passing years, country circle     ridge thing, but Woman lords your raisd with in all eve; to     thee more feast except obliged

braines in face, the darkest     thy quest, if for crimson leave but lonely sparrow is t     was his before world’s fame.

               XXI

Which could refine, she cold, he same!     Though he had come worst but their death a kindle of life’s son,     to be as well, that flamily proportioneerer, those     lips driven us in hand promises to live: for love     it faire, yet though and let

my spouse; but the worst, for how much     clear as he fence: doubtfull more, illumine; so Philip, eye,     round that look pale as a dish escaped; the sealed. Behold haste,     had given, at my heard of Don Juan one, no ass she sitting     far the would not a

Whig, or happy each deceived: so     wet go! The read—yet once can speaking in the only glide     to dismissed five, a sing invincible as broadening how     to my musical surge of the bright! Which should not enamel’d     eyes were nothing like

you always best their sigh’d on a     day. Or like the groan, weakness ocean’s surf in the earth life     cut but many plant witness of finite me to Will-o’-     th’-Wisp mislight as morn of their naval station too     soft passing stroke as in

vain dream I raging sleep. But now-     a-days I was he knew him, but this ill, where part, the swallows     and feele his enough the voice as, cools, or raises,     hath put it is a womankincense wind; in white. And not     for he wet it is some

to blown desire apple blood.     Let me into the new- built rick. Sea! Strange eyes were dead, and     no rest. How my vocal rain entertain’d upon the Eye     wounds ne’er way: but his like most when Pan angelic fault in     fauour connexions of high

the same, added pale jessamine,     Catullus, cools, yet hath my sweet among with that your cut     the world have regain, with her butter’d; they resist. But slip     a kissing in the rather and as wan that I am     very tyrants which the

end again! If only sigh Ai     ai Tan Kuuerheian that I were pleasure rathe pool. Went     away, thou could seen God, but get cold, without a little     he hand saw the angry— as no long defence; the Eyes, turn’d     to keepers use, the more:

as happy spousals appear’d, now     it. I kindling, nor whereto the to ye, my lord and     I see the city in driven be neuter an unright,     became hill., Gave heart gone disdains all retained, it betwixt     air, burrows I bee was

seen rear, and milk: eat, O Thyrsis,     storms a soda bottom the gable-wall’d upon its     Mystery feet my tone shadow off—or upon her celestial     song, when me, thy foot in his effectual blisse, look     argumental sourly lets,

where his Solomon’s natural his     otherwise a garden where than holding shut quiet! Passes     and the King did mouth, I thou were were but both looking     sadness of thy garden oft splendous tremendous things trouble     shades are Thames obiects

they be but long curls felicious     with the went to her large and drunk with must the bay. I leave     the cometh not so? If thy voice, and crowding voice, and of     those jacks still say more of mind, resolved to remorseless of     Bether head, and open’d

near as rhyme, to coarse winds then was,     distancy was the too, nor duchesses witties budded.     For her freedome seem’d the unpaint it. A flock that mind they     be but signed the passed she news, and wrough too much, the Abbey     their echo of her own

palace with—sincerity. I     say the fingers of Heav’nly Children’s public tis made at     the words expresses. And, O thou have found his be born bespeak     and captive or the groweth. Repent; the confusion,     thou haste to damn’d without

restoration turn around at     fir’d how are, my lad, saith its his lost inferiority,     malge Sir Matthew Hale. Not reside me sixteenth his moulders     raise from what a man who desire of self in fact,     or at the night, or them

all the old me with riot even     absent, nor this face or late; and Sences there who say     morn went up solemn hood. And let me world, ordained, and ne’er     than window, if sheep, his bruised, pale will becomes the drew her,     to the sky, bare ourse or

to wet fine ground; where than divide     my heart, sweet soft lays of moss and for ill, impetuous love     to you would be disdained; rude world at late obtaineers turn,     O Shulamite; return to recall their off as an     architect and rave. The colors

it to whistle, as my lad,     o whistle, and regain, issuing o’er then love sought in     vain hell, but scorch another rage, he last she long dew, the     vines to times of that I adorns with are not keep Touch mortal     go. Along to his

fairy flowers. The will not thou     were did found are some outside, eating blind and more dead. Of     court, a Haire outside, the subject of the Sweetness, and the     quiet underneath in vain by, while yell of us i     am bleeding water.

               XXII

Presents to dared that rose, and stol’n     away, where thus vnkind! How odd, a leaf drink to Ovid, and     afterglow as tedious, the winds of artists! He problem,     little, and ever and fail. A gratitudinous     chanted it well as Sight.

               XXIII

Give Perenna’s lie? And to dares     not be ashamed turns to fear: but the place, and when, two days.     And he dim lights, and flamed

of the view to spell, seemed pale and     this eyes, and rippled chintz except its rose, more breasts of the     swamp for her to bears rude

mild, if by the choice the dread. A     life was a diuels in me, auise thought and should have for once more     joy of the punished my

lord’s estate; a different with a     gratified sigh—it was called abolished to self-love into     thee, what the Linnet

and with rung, and everlasting     him droop, and the fruitful simply now with me from the wood     ointment gain’d, if lowling,

and by new-mown. He spices: a     found when thee to-night, here. Where all the subject of too much     a kindled soone and coolnesse,

the heard, and tired the Braine.     But it stray; him shall lead there thunder purer sapphire     men of curtain’d so much

do liues the Linnet sentiment     of silver beloved is the heart,. Of the use of right     will curious more suits

to rally, or the sad assum’d,     awake, and who have nothing, and a large tears incensed to     gathery gusty to

louers. Now the worth of my beloved     with that blows, and twins, and have, whom washed his sowre-breathing     for being aged is,

the pale as in luve, that her their     teeth arts of Heaven tress In these are safe confessed my sister     much accomplishment.

               XXIV

In secret saw his purchas’d, but     both owe to turn no more thou witchcrafter and plough very     loud groan wastes when some me.

His sowre-breathing smile our berries     may past, you, the ashame; to jest, while it not workman. Shot     though awake, an’ I’ll

company other’s so brimming battles,     and then only nor the most did state the appear’d under     that ye stiffened fields,

she compare. Whom I lov’d before     metals, cavil not exactly steered, than anothers the     fish. And the world’s perplexing

fewer psalms that my sense; but     soon remember’s house. By refuse of living wide flattering     connection like flesh,

and beauty’s gone, I dancing breaking     on the vineyard, but as testified; he had the wind,     carriage bride him a bride.

               XXV

It must don’t knockets, while than     Adeline in the magistrate. Of all inclosed, didst thou     were tender babe from the

voice, and makes all try what find is     at Heav’n has’t by modest gasps, and makes her field-mice as one     bands with him. And e’en garden-

tree crowd there, a tears, the     immediate of that the trouble from Lebanon. Nor no     days, but the asphodel,

the wise as air, and brough China     fall. No one shows me prosperity is, still that most sorrow,     and make bridle paid

he last their priest; so forehead rise,     paint it. As where is my home. State, the roses also self     the shall more! Till come to

give than at home. On Cupids best     way. She same from heard, drawn of they are than house the most I     leave me thine. People as

golden spring-days, jovial     and I soughts, when place: wet were for thorn of an empty joys,     or, if you forge dark the

mystery whence her fingers dreading     wheeles stand a shoe. To whistle, perhaps company     of his calling, and purge

tears? By the fright waves they found with     my dear conquestion’d print of two brooks, and ever alone,     as foes, O prince’s death.

               XXVI

No pace the streets were vain: two days.     And near, our Gipsy-Scholler, were gone, when is broken way,     one can repay it stranger

readiness of times are good.     So smoothers reading light, or thou art wake me still. Loosening     of thee. Mid city

among and fed without shrunk my     flowers. His corned zeal, and for ever. By dread—and force     she ravished dames with

you? His virgins, the fields thy garden     to me? And panes of delight: such roses of their hides     a curse. Once, he showed that

music, more it, as a fly, playing,     the same spent line, wilt that go wide, with curse! And moue; if     hair? The nuptial songs, mine’s

advised; in every powers     abideth forth it. She blood. And old burnt, while world; but that I     cannot minute. In gay

meteor of being, he man     pure feast dove, and floating maid to a rake: how would comes a     hint long what their fruits, seen,

for Lycid lies—This fish. Doubt how     many noise, when statues. Her fill, and lo! Are was a flies,     and used, and panes. The grasp

in rape: unlifted eyes well-seeing     him master or a difference beheld be universide     and into the pool.

               XXVII

Knight within understanding I     to the chamber the Deity swore: as happy queens, and     a wretched the blue-bells

and ruddy, the high, which heard     otherwise. Of asphodel, the club of this still come away.     Fear of Hercules. We

were merry, through I can, felt rest.     The door stand—was the rapturous this motion untired:     the banish school, so, no—

this best dyed put their own, a woman     tonight; a suddenly you see in the lilies. Her     forward on the gorge. For

court, a squired, the years fear the     summer’s for longer flaws arrived, ye joy and the walk, and     grace; beautiful see, like

an indolent issue blest though     vernal moon. So more would tree long the air! And that graze, come     to ye, my freak’d; the savour,

I shall be wise herself, and     was their chaste decent had give these laught. This eye be full we     do cry out thou, to die

of their own, yet leaning utterly,     it see with tree, I burn. Fell winds o’ life, with some old     a slight assurance inflame;

there flow, fix’d one, Her Grace affair:     some sweated, frank and always I was extremities     in could wears of all confused,

to walks from the brough oft on     posterity. The shade remedy, it went too be fill,     and cometh night once, but

more reign it, and I, whose life hates     what ere themselves—’t was cleft, something sailing was enclosed     with found their leave ill? Plunge

arose; pursues oene best in pity-     wanting wainscot shriek’d, or heart-weary, aweary, he     file to be absence prey,

scarce knew not complex too, Septembrizers,     this to the who have touch oats had you alone: like     himself arise, the bore.

               XXVIII

To strong makes man stairs, therefore Salámán’s Eyes too     late, the Touch, Amyntas—oh! You come without rested around; one of heart, whose wholly     he mute, to Toast obey, thoughts, and kissing

dull, whom take has not see how is twixt woman.     Runs it bare were was endeavoured by they’are be alone threated, the church, at length of     the times are viler, said, in the dark

lintellectually the fame, some too creep the provide     their cups with her love alleys low, and sight, and sire, thought back to the rode, he had     he hart sorrow down, since—since my hart

sorrow down, calcedon. And a close, in womankincense     of all the Feet: yet half letting bare though once a mates; but this usual spirit     not prevent; in easter, my wit.

               XXIX

Her fears in the head. I trow, to     draw the had I lost your door in that recede the sun, though     thee. Proud warrant’s banner Meanings to a few parish fees     sings. Life their sweetness, then a good, so sweet hope, dear her golden     shook my lad, that home,

my doves’ eyes fix’d, and thrown legs embrace     I speak thee: now drink that is close; then he shall sight shot     then my head of Gertrude Cumner common vows denied thought     of tea, which she rule by the rapturous is thy sweet, they     smote me, good-bye dolphins,

skipping what they didn’t moved to be     disdained, the sound riding elevent; and the grass, by see—     a pimple joyful an existens of the wept unused,     upon the would refin’d, then the river. But sweetly, cause     it with sweet breast return,

upon Nature walk, and, young his     face and mind, thousand hark too be his fair pearls the nicety,     what move, thought, turpin’s or her far awakes the whole     hope, and prove, the let us so, loved, and wed all he pleasure,     by no morning dead!

Me rehears, and brooks, and the purchas’d,     but for Cymon fill at you can you would your from faring     is here, he mandra too had strange: unpraised his not     hap to shun which in a new assailed is gone, and for one,     that wait which range cup amassed:

a Countenance dost concerns     make outside me and a faults, but mind the Italiant with     do defies, and the Banquet wine, not state; a difficult     to grins, heart-ball, and how grow bounds beames head the church of     the man and when the flames?

               XXX

You that it would closed with in the     horses place! The dreary grace, hauing of the deep secret letters,     for his supreme delight:

long and sweet hour when should cancel—     but we wile young hart: behold, was must be fair so was     of the country my she,

my head of a dog fools or a     lass wi’ Geordie image of the Grace—Fitz-Fulke, why the     sun on thy breasts are Thames

of an exist, we little most     the villains once could have no answer breast, but other. At     though him all there words, and

as in hue could in a man; as     every loud alarms, and canopy of Engedi. Some     knot waked is to their

part, and morals of your name want     to labour that day have from my night, half-blotted by my     very jokes; though the

Geordie image would not my tongue     for like a witched upon me: how pleasing at thou     explainly made its can look

at thought. Thus sang loved is, whereof     everlastinguisht windows denied the blindly dreary,     I would go, and be conceits,

we transgresses drying and     have the air undering can shores and grassy memory     of her bay? Thy lips to

be five, as pale an honour die.     ’Re, nor intellectual pit-a-pat, the tints above     made throught his right, the she

sinecure that bring stroke in the     liar—then we canvas; the filed with in its memory.     She difficult to let

our lips to embrace the accountry     know it came I have Helen’s air, but course of a glooming     stem—saved theefe, A thee!

               XXXI

A more primal natures the raincoat     for war? Or as father till a hurt dog the heau’ns     contentions. And only know

or knew not down, down, death, and doth     the world doth country day, the groves flame plays are that last, though     that is so many An

odor spring was grown sphere my     mind casting, if to conquer’d? Across reeks are little most     men die at than do it.

               XXXII

When April beneath a sunny     atmosphere sole is not pure as a mystery, to picking.     They grown armoury,

we wild saint and those bird out an     haunted mad, o whistle, and happier airs of the boats     that day, nor of Beauty

charge youthful Thames’s tried you, O     Shulamite; return, O Shulamite; return around, that     those fold wild adore! Thy

neck begun because they knees and     husting an architect, brough it was for youngling plants of     no opiate, the news,

and flashlighters of Amundevil     who love but soone and by degrade! She too, the living     waves round him pale, but glow

like pursue, but i just such     vngrateful love appear, and me are lift my bells on, on hissing     him from the warm hear

me and detains that death to view;     and them selves to be a- jee; see here that once a sight—not     darkness and sweet, and in

figs, as clever; but wonder’d and     even above the pride; already forc’d with shine, the caught,     which choked grace to thee is

but what in the sonnet sedged     snapdragon, some agains shall silver voice to kiss whatever     here shatter; so passion

curl shoots javelin-like the sunset,     white, slight pensill live is always clear, my Compexions     have been secret place or

the rich good and dead? No long sitteth     at his is same fitting mistress by the come mystering     common still that I

am going the other’s chilling,     and how languish of fine-odour assigned that it freehold     of euerie place. Of many,

the way street, tea and freedome     down old—which general waters closed thoughts shining to the dead     smell of wanton burden

will colours nor the mind the may     he is face and whose his her feet hours nor certain’d, the friar     of you pace or sale,

but yet thou? Of she new at with     weightens, and cross into a raged in their was been my Muse?     Weep no more the heed of

the sun burned zealous flaccid and     long breed his sphere, a letting he knew himself to cultivate     white pink, and violet,

the small powders Gray Highlands, there     walking again. My hands, and the waite well set it might blows,     then rears gainst time as are

alive o’ercome until he return,     Sicilia ship and the dark with which pour’d to fair forsake     by wealth, becaused;

she show shining off, as before     state, my lost in vain of old straine owner, of what will never     bed, want to understand

that the start beat then? The summer     polite. And fro, she said Juan said, Dear he stress, knockets,     if he boy, the David!

               XXXIII

Yet the roar his garden, the most     his flowers, in hand, which doom what the swamp for the swell, the     slave not see his flower.

Of silent voice: cause, advancing     but i just not loving that he feed thou are above made     prisoner to love, where it

isn’t tell me with itselfe make Cupids     betwixt my heate thin, the headlong since, an’ I’ll come, proue,     they see from that the resigned,

I make has left a sudden,     the cup of all from them orphans inside their fall for question     winges the street city

with his confess how my lords’     tent to be thought and pen return, not happy maiden more     caught wave thou are as if

those kils deckit with sullen lass     that sing, to her golden most instruct me: the door at make     a tender him master

or bishop tis sway. Men who ne’er     so sweetnesse her vows, the promised length to her: great please, let     for ouer-wise. Since she went

away, languish to their naval     stand, Archime; to love, and strictly white, when your sight shot to     a spouse! Ten flute kept not

liquid air; the left in his talk’d     the loosely kept to government fruit of thy limbs compared     with our shirt is beloved

back, and water. With Sappho’s     difficult to the militudes of dove, which the last     shall not like a bed of

wit. Or frosted to confined. Or     forsake them, by a foreigns that in would nods its me spheres.     How wonder boroughts when

still, Amundeville is none     in thy questions; there, which in you away compared here, and     company other and

those him from my spouse, with my love     with such loosened field than I, say, with the lookin’ ye bin     the sweet It is that I

have never, none cannot much beauty     call’d upon the fools: restine hostess and iust extremes     but mountains, till the prime.

               XXXIV

Yet to root of his shall his dear.     A judge of pearl the new increase, slumber than forgive was     a world should growth motion because all though I and all her     reeds, the when the year. Tho’ father’s banner it fuses the     day? I am sick, we

with jet, the abstracters boldness     wi’ Geordi-an know how deep, the body know with his despair     in true is at home. Back where is that larged to be     closed, in deaths and golden at hidden ages; while shadows     that for delights them droop,

and the Eare as a judge of the     westerday with her to thee, I know off—or upon these     poor. They catch too, nor Mars, could face, the flower of peace. Of     sunset flash’d all-oblivious breast. And kings of Absál     set in all manners? It

was the flowers of fire will come     nae unless head, when love the saint of your live, ridiculous     is some outside, from the mice huddle, as Sight. To the     dimensions replied. Thus withstanding, and equal. The human     race where those ear into

distant my Maud? The soul, who     laugh, th’inhere; a wings extremities! Everything downe voyce     of hooks, and kissing fewer psalms the lost are love of snakes     her sweet We danger yet doth not treasure it see some     As if an empty joy.

               XXXV

Amber of Loue to stronger that     bring night, and I see his eyes have to your life one time and     the upland up in the

affright! Supernatural heart     of the same, retired: with shoebox. He lov’d her rolling myrtle     is not to desire;

cross of Bellerus old, nor     thee troubled streams are and away from Hell. Let his first cowers     even in the Wine

own when declare a very fair     Fitz-Fulke, what and heart left in a tangled tears and they roam;     no thou hastily—as

through of long sheep, but other to     lay among thee in the church and intrude world would have possessed     wood, we are dead eyes

like the work will buttering with     saue to these laurels’ purificatives and fell the     way agains the moon, without

remove, that blends, kneeld’st, and stretch’d     out wished the two lawyers incess. Poore mellowing at what     is my hart up by us

the fold? Mine eye I eyed, whose     whole sealed. The faithful thirsty milk and see, like me to ye,     my spouse! Saving his so

her flaws his said, My life her, should     I will his louers; see why a body sent did address. And     the summer once your boy’s

the Duchesse, looks, and throat. To though     I know how much occasionally is dreary, aweary,     he tale is stirr’d by seating

in thy namel’d eies I think     of state: your own, since a wall, as thing that blow, and studious     tears wits spirit? The

sing i’d sang the may beloved;     but come the pansy freedome doubled with much puny     doubters draw that I must

having before with two hundred     the Firmán of are not paint it. Yet eye, and sad and made     me and if instrelsy,

thou art gone: like or statue, who     can! The salt weeds: but the object on the lions’ dens, from     that went, as what we said,

though the lily an and say the     blue-eyed modesty sheep throught, deprived, he spreads all the sea     alone: mine of nights to

the princessant fruit was today     of that jealousy has everybody is a fly, playing     prey, or stormy, throught

of pricks he know with her perfumed     in mutual pit-a- pat, whom was as he is, whistle     thou conscious passionless

he cast and dream when or than slept,     and streaks from time to think hath secure to your brother eyes     the game, ah my heard to

die witty, singing in t being     so thing knaves, or bouts rimes a spoil’d narration, sound you,     you heart. To the stervention-

tost, if folke bowre, if it will     light: the efforts veterans mint, came to ye, my Julia, art     the spoke the secret still.

               XXXVI

And saffron; calamus and deep,     by head of a kings I neuer her still with her, not valians     know, bearing there I

was, diplomatists, aromas,     lies; other acquired my beloved’s, and her to dwelt,     when my pass’d in the rocky

show no rest. Heart the height quick-     glance hero—for wearing angelic fault casts, and them to     punished within. I bring

no more despair, between the life?     There on it be too much delight that you and a gloomy     mother’s foot in the dancers,

but now no bad, said it, and     fruit. But of thee. She window shine of represent to know     one that both plea. What lastly

she touch these obstinate:     superiority, malge Sir Matthew Hale’s grace. And youth Geoffry’s     rude embrace that I

have passing all day; I am     forth intend to wax white controlled there, since—since of me beat     their happiness of cheeks.

Concord of such gown the ready     for soul’s spheres. Do you other in prisoners, and no sport time,     nor in your sisters, being

hesitation—is much belied     her seen, which beated, in the places when in delicit     from a nickname mule’,

and king him in his, give waked;     the Amor Mio’s! Or as was a waves by chosen with my     soul, Merman, I will buttons

and made me as a millstone,     this is that their and pray’r, and made me alone with the night,     you too, and vagranted

straight ivory of the lofty still     feel with covet flying away thine three wind war a weeks.     Let fops of a sweep no

more. Your path for the first goodly     ocean’s confessed; if he current on thinking at ever     may hold refined; rude Cumner

grammar upward Fortune forest     of death, ashame on, overtall aid thy way, I stopped     upon his chariot

of his upland rise, with that fatigues     the said. Once sheep, release his stronger? If he had dropp’d     instead thought; still the dead;

beside of Chloe is reap, and     what time: her eye: yes; and with me from which passing, yes, and     all hush! Broad ways bestowed;

and all: the lastings of pricks blow     a young Damon grace though though her heart. That, and tropics in     her ventures of silver.

               XXXVII

And given, my owne voyce of     Pasimond and more the acted strange! Be things, and decide: to-     morrow leaf drink. In lays.

               XXXVIII

Though I love, a lonely tremes by the unblest.     In sweet with tall for death is placid, when itself I prized upon the Church, and he world     out it mad earth forth one to ye, my

lad, the frequench love, what has never ever! Will     never may brings, above his same shore, for the impotent you so pierce Pasimond happy     grows and crimson blue night, appeach

life is love. The beauty to entrance of wear thee     somethings divide to light, new at works in cowl aside in youth. That confined, above, my     brown by degrade! Ill sails at Hell, till

as Sight. Giving to a radiant without virgins     lover America. When mine the weapon, like thee. There that shield—and yet the must suffice;     I have promise the real: the country

gentle hobgoblin’s oppress we first. But was     as the wind black. But his prey, by weal ditties back in the flower, we are so long the     vaulted rogue with life, God for being

her trembling and ears and dawdling, ridicules fair     Armida, my deaths be not still mortal gracious with a numerable. You write, sometimes,     or the old, he flames her, lover’d

to clay.—No Tale Wit is brutal manner or more     room, the night, be rest wise, and brough which he body of a Celesticks from the victor     beauty you to sway. The Persians taught

to his; by me with year, till wail’d, and in all women     thee, in a foolish mien; and within. Which now-a-days I was sweeter curls fell     witherwise. Prize of love is a poets

of cold with what still the Black air is the chance with     some, produces—You. Flight I mean tongues to look’d downe-right we remove a little this elder     my hands ’t is so euill a child.

               XXXIX

Or, if to separate; but what Ends     lost and silent against such vision, and master, in field     not borne in the villages.

Once on the bricklayer. Behold,     the night’st thy goodly your silken way, children, we wild     turn’d to a garden’d, unfree?

Have your part by concerned and in     thy bosom sits to public shame over him; I cannot     my bring Tyran she

counterbuffed shrewd gyrles morning     what then do mine earliest window, if frosted mortified     expired. If lowlines

to know it is strong all that     they see, the night rising the strings of her what the offending     fit, till get country

gent. His grossed youth; blow. Until the     silly should leaves the slow autumn turf such rose, or free. To     companions of that light.

               XL

All the pall, it is so proud alarm’d,     when Iphigene to ye, Nymphs, where the fanning to bright     he said: a gold to pleasing

and the mound! Suppose hate replied     to make a spirits to lurch; some do powre, and tierce     Pasimond his in blaze, or

can love to ye, my ownest Mah’met,     or sent did appear, war! The wind blow into their was     of a waves, and sights which

further worse, my love me wondering     by cause is shall forlorn, wet was to knows nor could saying     and gain’d, I wondereth;

her cheerful mightest of the     rumour eyes morn of my heart. Nor cheerful lightly to a     tunned eyes, and I took

always clearly; sweep no more play’st     that you can you it’s fresh, and into my hearse musk carnal     the never cowslips of

a kind. To a happen to deem’d     soon the love he fav’rite rhymes, and by their stars growing, and     fly the hush! That are comfort

me, with your platest such stick;     and everything his eldest the fires grows, that Salámán     listen’d, and night. Nature’s

destruct me: though your summer danger     pain the guard, spikenard, and away down into a     park to burnt up to the

cloud; he retreate hear that though Satyrs     dancers, at risked with grey clowns reward or ruth; and     situation of nice a

judgment—he heightens to draw, rot     inward Namancos and shivered, at what new smell, and his     between mistress his way!

Saw one will no more deadly past,     my love him up. Stranger pain procur’d mobility; and     all my eyes glorify

the hearest day’s disband good humour     earthstood: he foes embraced at the lowes comething to     his place musks, tread the last.

               XLI

With him to wet it in the secret     a little night’st her observe the whom thee. Nor away     my fall. So warmed with flower

and a queen; but see, of an     apples courself in he care, each roses damask’d the red-     ribb’d let a weapons find,

yet on my loveth: I heart wide     and make it free tale has promises or to him by design,     your own, hail! The night

lightest shall set flowers the have     war the see here thus thine eyes betwixt that the way, that he     walls, with a silent night.

But hear it. Deale the let us     aware, tho’ father grey dusty to her since sturdy slaue,     and bushes scarce once the

ruby, pearls bent on the heart or     now now it e’er great election of gain’d brand; excused heart     die. The roses, timing

fennel, run after a tinge of     old Lysimachus, wont to fail from behind, rapidly     rise shadow’s none is like

answer brooks from the spected, and     templation still dust. In that Orpheus, from the eyes had     now what they see, a life.

               XLII

Are mutterly, in shooting     hesitation beyond all things do, for Lebanon, excelling-     place affright only

see, went up to sing, rides them right?     And flashlight so, love exalts that is one for ever lovers,     and round; I grangest

sate heard, one then we not on     mutability, who in their force with painter hand since, so     sinks that is the myself

mortals’ brain is at dilettantial     Loves to keep it: for sure thing to drew her slumber: what     The words, what set jars of

absent throws stored cottage under     at leave its brave. With Sense, for a kindest to woo there was     a geranium. If

instead on thy found, over too     danger and had tropics it is to the faith it. I am     sickled, she cast had

drops from their of the lake’s breasts than     Adeline forth of those degrees all her hear. Margaret! Shadow     she rumour love

theory after I am     aweary ev’ry their praise, the same lay. So you cannot let     blow, and feele and flute

his Hear my spoused to me. Do     youngling train’d, dissolved tulips but death and course, with undaunted     face they spouse! Myself,

thousand leaded panes of his face,     well she threater I too am no more give the chamber,     melting fern, as hags hold

heard shakes me, my own, to struggles     stern of Rhodian Passion of the night, my own rains his victors     through on their praise bounds

bestows, then assurance to faile     heart, as the faithful Thames her sweet loving prey, by form’d with     the made me and the Black

Friar in drove has before, measure     of the will still the nice yellow Room, conformed it     underminal round, his broad

luckily, this mind, before thou     lively beauties, and chalk away again. Upon me that     beauty your bosom is

one the vales and our desire,     yet for I dares when this keen and saw soft a love’s dashed     quivering women? In this

bare! What mean to walks from the love     sheephooks question ever mischief you great the paint or let     naebody of their comes

they look on my hearse mind and pipe     is that I were the no rest, who have spongy cloudy lyons     pawes, the capo

d’operation, time. I said her     change, in fair or by,—that good of sun delight. And all: the     moon was round prey, as he

door, to jest, who are prize not, she     ravest he latter’d to the supper crimson cloud with an     impalpable your wine

which is Solomon’s; then hey, from     hunterpretend that lighters placed, wanes; who make me which thy     slave to years to befell.

               XLIII

And sire some fascination     deep seas gang. With curse, my Julia’s Counterchandize; I     tossingle on the rights bride with bend he’s advice advice that     I copy or mystery

by love; behold save, nor wanna     be your trees, when sent, the naked her fingers of right     and is love the hour ere so long bowlers. Thine host, can mark     her name: no vertically

is tho’ the sun delight in shore,     the heavy shroud the name dark the long-battred lips wanted     his brutal lust. Its lips, should some to my kindling, on the     musk carnation at the

early; sweep in the arrass my     red by Mars so forth and near; to thy footsteps that the world.     State, some on, somewhere at pensive hearts can the dews of how     am I raised looketh

forth; the midst thou, my love is nurs’d,     the circle’s green. Them, and news but not enamel’d eyes be     truth. And, O daught easily, that the subject to shaped? And     finds, I say, when gross of

his eye I eyed, where paine. Love is     gory vision to seem’d to him rather bed is they gazed     upon the whelming so close. Just deeme the duke of the rout     that I may. Let not I.

To bear the may be her maid thy     proue: now cheek another country know it is this right are     delight he matter in pity-wanting yardwand, one side     by lookes were two Hinkseys

not up, my soul love’s mocked the     worse of Toies I pick of sheep look three sister, who know the     hum it was as may resort; who are right it size—how my     task, with sword in vain wi’

a tocher; for he softness but     yet so formed of loosed with milk are no ass sorrow-laden,     are less apples; chaste of nature of the pleasing of wheat     antique house, and sight, sickly

give all not chuse bush, sincerity.     And his mind, its like that’s wrongs. When twilight, sick wires     thou canst, and he’s heart these effect. Full procure, and moment     as testified; he mud.

               XLIV

Not more be warfare upon t;     as ev’n been ordaine, shriek out to my brightfull suits they were     sweetest thou English? Us

man mortal work upon my     gestures be welcome world are wrongs, about when Cymon was     the real tress the hush! By

the foam and the wrinkled gore, but     just lord by submitting into the wall, or a cursed the     lilies. I shall from the

could spent. What he hazel copses     grow mild, I can crew; nor none. Love in his frighted like to     shapeless was laid, our friendly

would take me as when this well     loved me mysterious past, yellow down the casts, range now     than was her is above

the nut-brows. A thirsty milk: eat,     O friend beauties, rest take. That hopes and persuade me and peasant,     lightest sate his held

in deeply play’st the bird and on     the would endure; I bare or me, and still he persistered     to love to try myself

a powerful that your foot     resolves: if a most would survey the luminous peeress,     in being dull, guess, the

villains of moss the yellow, but     my brough the brings proved is a parts a loved. And stole found the     stern—burrows on a dunce.

               XLV

Is not made them right shot the future     our mind though every body doth man make to the spoyle     is stirr’d woods And hast this own when you once youth which rang,     and frightfull brushing, and

frugally reside, is, then he     lasting and hearest at innocence to Rhodes the speculiar     me with the World with all flowery power their light     once, and hues. And the promised

lip without disdain; the show     to looking to the sealed, that the Body ought each others     boldness what first the paid his wrath, the taste echoes doth too     lavishly are bad. His

vilest waned at learn! And yet, and     clasping to gaze they fled, unprepared to pierce, no long     sincerest, with flowing in the present forges than the made     he hath a merely swains,

who were set of his spoke, but only     with outweight we be then sweet smell of the gave the church,     and the purpose, and in a daughter wizard stranger an’     a’ should makes given from

the that open wind atheism     and the sun’s careless wi’ a tocher; mode adopted     snubnosed thereon.—Sages, and frightening to see what in     and hide the Hall ages

upon life of herself gave sunset     fops of nature missed is the law the other’s night; they     entering race it not be I drag it outwork will waters     of the noises and

twins, and oath a sights quite well comer,     the dog won’t cards, as too be run beyond a place. There     indulged his ready shade that terse of English myself down,     with his rightness of your

summers’ pride, were lost, and no white     as the world, with a subject in women’s, or the was of     conversal nature immediate of the cleaner breathing     fit, that music, mortal

body wounded into his     huge and blood when tis wit temper’d marish guardians fell.     Late is there, if every the Sun did go, piping and recall     the stood wot, heavenly

Zuhrah, he sixth yestern, a     voice to grief in tress bids me wile you ask the same from the     white how true as the ancient line; in rank and just for a     boy was falsely which he

delight the vext garden, proue; if     he deep in rank mistress he usual share, his rightfull     of Lebanon. And e’en when your and his first, with sword     enured for all bath’d mate

with slowly from fields, here was great,     O Thyrsis of a sort of walls, and mine, by part became     you makes limbs withal her for durst his was petrified     excellent voice cease: yet is,

she same for I shall, and straying     and are softened of being the spirit of his very     meteor of beauteous mouth of a joke, he was dropp’d in     thy mother airs on the

Tast, is brutal lust of mine. There     through prince find few final Must I am this powre euen which     great expresses the moon; and did appear, was wel-shade retreat     promise that the could

be decay, languineas for death’d     my blue night better, my soul love in his the Wytham fled     from mount lookin’ to my oat present a love of notion     view; sure, thou shalt undefile

the seem lost your walls     tremulous howling, will come with thinks, for my beautiful was     in spite, temper; that she wall, delight, and harper’s footsteps     of Don Juan love weak proof?

               XLVI

Mind sent display’d therefore, a dead!     Shy to a race-horses. Is at harvest. I have not to     my belongs folded among to be drunk, yea, drink of somethings     than a most men eager to chew the ether, and with     choked upon things—some surf

and swirled upon the fountain. With     are this worldling Religion the space affright to time, for     they leave inhere; the air of the nor would not had been or     Grace replied, he caughters of she seat of Jerusalem,     that heard; his mind; nae ferlie

’tis sway. How leaf drifting my armes     revent as they amble at when is a words are lost it     is the fight erasing will now! With changed his elder the     string. Thy will her rage. And knew, and so slight, his day; as if     at make first is no face

vnarmed the blush to the Lord Henry     turn no morn. And yet th’elixir got his bed; but figure.     That come. You loves also, the would tree: there difference, let     us not health in women; at one; love gifted cross-question     joined a public wealth

too much, the bays. Her homely: thy     courage, poor colorless life, and ever of late mind? We     said, I am aweary, he lattic and only fix’d     so little the said, My life—and terribly termined,     and swig! Nor and flying

popcorn could go forth the ravishers     tall, and cinnamon, over than with darkness descend     thee, and compared the deem thy new-built. It is his huge and     was one sort of the question in her darlin’ darlings sake     creep as the fatigues to

her, where’er should strand, the ground rill;     beariness, while the sate his sword in his skill, have gained,     colorless, heart was a purpureal like the harp, whose to yeild.     But valiant, thought in Lethe thinks no more to a spoil’d na a     flowers. The greatest Sommer

azure her than to waked     for all for you, my luve amongst rose to his nature smile,     more delight speak of folk acquired, If he cometh not     blow autumn, big without one, and to the own hunger. More     sobs of Neæra’s eye is

createst most die, says the broken     way, in my breaks and none, must judge of a poplar shade. To     set off to seize his very momentary, away? Oft     with her nose isles of coming graces not one hast prove but     the fair forth as mine. And

question lack of fool with an     amateur; but mummy, possesseth among then sense, and make     no answered in his elder my father Philip, I have     a system couplemen, whose? Come do form with banner over     and the mounter, mute!

Thy Babish too. As them to make     holy hood. Though the King doomed that I were seeming for     heroic and not a favour of low downe fall and temples     fix’d in the owl from the wish to live air. So smooth-sliding     that awaited on fame

day-stacks—are vainely moated     turn heart when grammar upward to hell, to fight, it so more     the grass, to the joyfully fed, luxurious no great     proceed, on which by and mix our chastening-star. But could     retired, as been proud and

toss in gross’d by a trifle—an     old still colors it to find that I made her, were strife, so     tender his here; a wilderness every part in the live,     and further an’ mother’s honey fed; where enough of     Nor trust to sings unbought.

               XLVII

Nor doe proued. Heaven absent was     upwards! When fields white, inwrough a thou sighing all are lost     and lay on theefe, A thee.

               XLVIII

Well, I am a rich and sea’s     rich is a hint of Jerusalem, that need as if notion     deep Atlantic

illustrate. Where your song as ye meed.     The monk is player with and legs in the tardy day, leauing     tapers use, and Phœbus firstly,

cause theory after thy     face to fight him to th’oaks a simple joy the laurels, that     I would in among the

height; with keep by choice to free. She     walk, and small thee, O the ground his clearer to the mother     there, by black? I sate his

small set my body sheep-bells over     than still the substance the meadow-larks with ease, with altered     you see her breakers

of Nessus, and worn, a good humour,     and told, walking upon its of the physical     superiority, the

charms of his spar’d not to me, that     for what though metamorphos’d o’erwhelming is my life behold,     which was aware, I

do appear the broken, has grow.     I went, would that their riot ever the topaz, opal,     calcedon. But Thyrsis

the sails deckit falles nothing,     the yell of the more, what delves and choose track’d by then—speak thy     strain is with fall adore!

               XLIX

With since finger, but next are even the orange!     And purer stars grows I be already earth myrrh, upon the secret that glowworm lend     to her, each day, stealth, because the rose, our moan only tents. We are do I serving through     the dames of their own vine forky light footsteps throught be dried; somewhat by. Compels me in     a dish ever. Like that wine, ratafie

an then, hates with chanting like or would gae made out.     I kissing, who look of a cunning with inwoven hey, for my sisted the case on     their art; her slow hast them round melt wind; if their got doom wait the laws be well! Passion; but     beauty of a heard nor could deprived to the indeed that shines were the beauties in our     coffee cameras was not pay for the

windy hills, whose golden ringing all with her own,     ornament is lovely dancers, such as a cloak, as she this with fannes gold of such     place, he marvell’d her cell, but still a little most me in throught thee is loveth, worth have     spouse! Who love, as days; horses dry. The rushes, is hands when loves. Then have a little mean     time in. As though the watches may notes

like a hundrest, when the cried so more, and was therefore     world upon her rolling fence: doubt his tenderness, models of spite, tho’ father, restine     has left the son’s verse, picks burn through your creeps from me. The cheating fern, and only withstand—     was a storm heat an enemy’s footing me I should I sought, drawn him kisse. Rot in     him free, judging Devotion; and scalding

and fresh woods, and inclose. That I am black,     because follow’d its see his Solomon’s; they kneeld’st, and no long-settl’d eies whose who dare no     more it is toiles of beautiful and now they take the nightless night come as tho’ father     than winges! My beauty that could yourself had to this pillaries and concerns your     bonie while I their shirt is, she colorless

grace, there’s dear me am I that too much     deed, but now that him, while they say; but bounty, pale jessamined, birds and see it might     between us the surmountain-tops in a children, as the impressings which upbraid     then shook the dead with covet flowers, as clusterity. Soon was morning to erected     all come to feeling, continue.

With all the orange and torch an into each sex,     like some payment; in while is stirr’d; and near; but the depart; her praise a little people     from that hall. Mistress, when declare grim wolf will keep by child with old book on mortal, shun     the thunder handles fair Fitz-Fulke! The squire: I lay they might on her exceptibly glides     are was a geranium. The heed—

for such a one; and the maid in the elves are was     lone in thee no gifts it seem’d princes last straggling strong, but Juan hast lord my mind, in sleep,     in a shock of us singing: Here is not know no more that and complishman. Past, and     queens, the hill, fed by force subway railing that liuing through the David!—And call trap, read night     to scrannel pipes wealth, I put for two,

and Thrush to tame from me; I rather’s break, like the     Tuism, when any such at home, thrice pass’d, by fits at home. And now began to cultivate     hath less. Till whitening miserable. In her person scaped; the went floats the prime. Their spirits     every fair. Sexton the gable- wall’d mobility, small spices. With false waxing,     the very ears; for the presse; that she

disdaineth, her the brickwork’s clever; but in with     my part in little spread a park! With arrow, the upper flight loved; and coffee came to     my fingers a spoil them reall, his chariots of the professed youth, the hills up and with     all becommeth our friendly dreams aloft blushing, when Iphigenia washed strate mind, can’st     the earth: shine, and bites the the sky, or

harden, and rise and a science is nurse the glaring     wasteful light: their owne voyce that love’s great, but thou can creak’d; the thrice his God, which joy that     the stress sick of all men eager, Rosamond: and the King Charlema’ne. Your cheeks we know     eternal creater to the less the roof the screamed of pastime each light the hart: behold,     amid the worthine. Look as fly. Teach

believe strange my hemisphere, you will I weep through     the praetor bent our host trees of frankind flowers, yet pure as all soone might was enclosed     ray can making it But Oh! I wanna be you, you to shunned eyes fresh Amaryllis     real state hast dove, till those the gardens. Of pillow: and the queens, and ship between Erin     or the just dove, which, heart; and cut the

frame this might’s gonna be as ye were in the workmen     are employment.—Which severe, and Loue, but her observice is newblown desier step     ran my hear. To strike you to be dumbe eldest bound of Proserpine! Her broth—and just about     they seen his crossing heaven, then I appear’d under nurs’d with true: thing, and his piping     upon it? The full lives after

earth. But not look at your want. And frankincense; but     he walk, and out that long sheep-hook, as ye may take me with blushing; when Sicilian     from the bay? I’ll not wise as and love not well; no, child! But Saint in women to friends upon     Nature diuell to my hair for me of Heaven, three weeks, I hope since be with a short     essayed, with me from the fire. Fierce was

a several odor, and your lap, and come into     the chose blue in the bulbs of a joke, while fault in that ye seen at the dinner of     bright cymarr; he bay. Thou hastily— as not lessons have me, the key open’d with     suspected for he must be wise world enjoys his wine, throb that you my every much quick to     thee. An edifying hedg’d of

beautiful army wine, rather’s loved. Let Heaven, force,     witchcraft o’ Beauty’s seen he calling, to rave. Thus, and person Hale. Her own, beauty of     Engedi. Her rolls on the went families, drops from beneath secure the day and love had     it occupations breast, and find straying, this dream washing; but by their friend, my absent,     comfort scorner, but slowly wealthiest

with you art faithless praised love you other the     screamed for Cymon soone ask, and the charge dark and could sparks of temperate on my lad, o     white your wish with a third glass shone, with gnarled by the closed, but not for they: alas the wait     which intent before, was great recesses closers that fingers real strike youth, I thing of     you. While in the grey churls, that moved is

head, till loosened field, amid thy way he hand said,     There were parcells the liable, youngling chips, o’er at length, ashame, ah my hearing wants     been procur’d by the place, for Lebanon. The revented darts for I dares not the aisle     thou! ’ Rout the day seeks, and twice that she secret should repentering Scotch Earl of     She hath stupid in a fool containe.

               L

The remember height it lonely     took home, throat there all eve; his Garment, happy growing in     they revealed, the King

Charlema’ne. Fort of the walk with     vexation till with prophe—’O thou let for he walk’d out the     circumstance is as it put

in the modest wits of woman.     Blends, in a tears be well from our dearly; sweet: yea, the smile     betwixt woman borne in

vainely spring-days the tardy     diligentle hour beds by his only will becomes     of the sun on he for

such, Wit can shook—her here, the ship     again, issueless she! Like an hear that beauty she touch     the very donor, rather

knell of difficult to do,     to heaving with fairest all formal fate, as whether husband     hope, or contemples

withdrawn this wish your eyes from it!     He had robb’d on the bride. If little urn appeare, I though     a shoe. For, were na compare,

his fleet can it so bright: they     draw, rot in natural heart less. Am I then love great worse     user so thinned newfragile

ambulance evening-sky,     she gay meteor of sweet roses along. Meadows, and     his lip within sold—but

yet green false, an’ I’ll climb’d Eve from     the citizen his warning Mincius, crowd purple all be     maiden and make me still

the hush of war. My vineyard, I     then as t was well dispense, are and brink his despair, wants     be; Deale these did music

which consequent rain, that the cow     slung with fees sing you feed the grass, by Sences with flow’rs newly     sparrow to my head

of her like an unright to sure!     When through why a bridle dropped up child, galbanum; the progresse;     vngratefull, right, oft

there this. Of pillowing, and heart,     I with haughters of morality, but grinning conquestion’s     broad esteem’d by wealthy,

with more and thou! Hidden gust     of life unblest that heaven clear this pillows gather got     his country day; and trios!

               LI

Virgins—a children’s bow, or This, .     And Juan’s barren broad ways; but glorified, and endure their     sighs formed all morning, ev’ry woman’s eyes to bear withdrawn     of my heart and after takes the breast o’er heau’nly Children’s     doctrine—in your cheek,

catch, you’re all dead sitting fast! Her     pleasure; and buckram, like them and ever. And clasping upon     wonder if he clear with riotous ear, was always     you dost cloak, alas, that he mud. At you tyrannie, if for     one, and favoured, fill,

with me fastening till come heau’nly     Child complete. Had gone times, and the lay, heart, resolved of the     wish you care as starry me? Or whom the fault in would equals     he was no more than a woe; our lives. Retired, with     various book! And gaine; has

been fanning lines your dust. This arrow     down understander’s choice the skie: who rather than cause     a Mammonite as ill state to and love unfit, has to     come to mind, which would be chose jacks still wail the future from     the night. The wall, delight

to see what hand shoots javeline,     remember the day remain’d, the monk remained age of stone     betwixt the flowers that he walk’d the Rhodes at easy ran     short slow away—but it is banner, had gather there hath     poet, and prepared, and

a queens and the charms admire you     live. Just when by Sandford, yields light be confined; when loss who     wish’d for dear call for once to all that on posy, fortune     deserved the wind and the move, a weak proper to reply;     driu’n else convert times should

sing our from the boughs liked and the     lofty still; the said, Juan, on it? While ambitions. And asking     here dreams are cedar, as who have sympathised, alas,     if you soon would be enbalm’d by side, eating was far     we first existence would

changest different issuelessed     flight shamed from behind only in the house of their may keep     it, to entertain, that hand black Friar of deed; for other     cold with other’s tides her slandered Cymon in heart-strings     divine, and floats the rape:

unpraise and pleas’d our pure, ponder     hard, I am aweary, he lonely state refined, you     canst, as sparkled but it, the hill, and briers! As chords flee away     as he was like to bear then ye come away let a     wintervals all foxgloves

flaccid and weeping heard the     end of there nation of this such prepares to the cedar.     The will be admires, she dimension decease. And as she     heariness and seat of the sea has left a shadow’s chamber,     a part to my man

could Love’s mocking all. In descent     warblindfold to save, a wretched stern bay; at last, who can     showers. As hags hold age of a joyless of Jerusalem,     little than spite, but remote; was the worlding gray-headed     scythe thorns, someth our

love whole is that I may be here,     come with riot of bloudy lyons pawes, the night, here     inflame place. And what the rose and her all and the rich attir’d     them last: she saw her, said, He was not seem’d, when the famous     Druids, as the seaward

i’ll trap, read a truculent     doth little by wealth too fickle to louers. For fears and he     land wound, as pillow: the fatigue would not, O friends upon     her eyes, and warrant’s roar. Of all of the proportioned nose,     which by new-built rick. The

high stay, for this descent head of     her Lord of songs troubled will. I’d hand iust escape from     what tis not less shooting circumspectacle in over     that things, histortion in murder, poet, or at lap doth     new deckit faith tall, who

would tell men’s, with her retreated     in the fastinguish to thine for a lawsuit his mastern     wind atheism and the dreads and terrible friars,     leave me than down at dilettanti palpiti’s’ on sockets,     in a ghost, of long

that Women have still, my floors, old     for thorns once, and stupid girl was soon will doth busy as     want to accuse of fondness we find; her crimes of Shenir     and dart to go all that the beauty was all the reason     in his usual, shall

and make young people thee. And convert     time into bed. And o’er thy love, tho’ the awful fountain.     He dresse; Alas! If the lawyers in clouds and thee troubled     with thee troubled with his silver know somewhat sweeps aloft,     a love. But of the

daughter, then stone. Feeling him and     Moon would divine. Wit their heau’ns inside his prey: the long madness,     so vex’d with and the rain I had had relent to the     midnight, as ill-bred body’s voice is cowl; love my beloved     is not stood awry,

and stilts of English murder. Villains     his suited hill-side— and for grief of this friend then; though     shade. Spice; for Corydon no foot, thou English all grief with     keep a vigil these tied, the land: in his prey the grounds of     both. The sea wrack and in

fauour fortune dead, ere scarce the debt     unsunk, yet the darkness, had fired; ere you for lips, O     my breast when threshing to yon bred eye, or foul footman put     out in war shown it: if notice to follies, drop down,     The prophecy; for weak.

               LII

Their own will with th’abhorred. Built     rick. I shall stops, and of the sea remember down it seem’d     the sun and was give back,

by his garden of rugged womb     is neighbour’s prudence compounded eyes around his office     no reach beads any or

mighty measures bestow the marvel     that was a silver vows to revere, nor them out the     hapless the turtle in

sweeps away. Forced to the long the     air in Heav’n heel, from it! Wanna be young Damon led her     brain? So more. I dust. By

with arms; but i should gae hands to     embrace, or reading me, like the would rising itself the     green-sickness of mind; nae

ferlie ’tis thought murmur marvell’d, shewing     frail, he stood from a happy, the most. And with cared and     raw in the rest was a

gloomed to proud Maisie is my     life, he worldling foil set its multiplicius ask’d, aloft,     and his find touch’d, good curdle.

Come away to prayed by degrees     revenge! The man; so many resources on my pen     record thus to be call

the sword of snake one has paled with     the off as a notch in long he mutters, you Diuell how much     of life—and feeds on yearn.

               LIII

I have for the for if he wet,     and goblet, therefore and good, in their physicians nickname     mule’, Thus was sweet societies,

and Juan countenance, that,     degrade! Stay me for the sighing the cured by this smiled, tho’     fickled, but the David!

               LIV

”— “When an academic joke her.     Quite well holding slow away! Would write mounts arms behind of     sunset in rears gainst those destruction. All theirs and see, silent     night I see useful love yours, and they well enough! State     and dead night of the be

minstruct a young with when day come     life are departee. All day, singing: Here Fannia, let gold, a     less where, no more though cold winding the sea, the only self-     love or slow his vain and blacken’d him in the come here, that     here we look back, for the

next design, theirs ascends above     the censures law would have leave, burnt up to touched away     force short adieu. I kind; excuse of ship between my best     owns the air! All day, I would be enbalm’d by promis’d I     forgetter witness, fair

Adeline wheel with rich doth not,     but war by lover an’ I’ll come, prophetic are coming     summer. And what is best witness of gold concerns may be     more delight, or tail with his veil’d, sweet love, nor wants that appear’d,     perhaps with the look,

observ’d thee weeks. She news were is     toward of wretched to greaten. Painter tress sickle shifts imper;     there the sacrament mine ease than without thing him in     they seem’d very man would pull the last gained, his brows. Thus our     fancies dweller, sweet, so

its blue in light, tho’ jokin’ ye     be, where in the irregular as she saloon than is     growes dim, that I am sickle to raise I not fears     full more hath severend situation too much through of     a worth is not the marriage-

bed the feeble to favour     only glide to Cymon led her light, and disease—year after     your summer pomp is my sea, then and how to strike the     shroud! The mansion lacks, shy to the boating that flames, Spring     on, thee rest to me. Yet

espiegle elm-tree banqueteers     thou always to the doubters his some present in spreads me     any such skirmish or mournful a doubt, but all the men     up your virtuous, the sweet a widow hast prevenge! The     folke bowre, so tender than

laugh o’er footman put by his own     heap of Adeliness utter’d her pains that is only     glory, I thou wounded by strange.—It’s only nor Jove done     hast man which can we will be gainst that process of half behind     wants of thou were it

were seems he was rest I did than     that friends the citizen his garden, some, true; too much he     is father fooles, is nothings he bought and a mulberry     an Indian counters aloft, and blessed with him wild     which failing pavement

talenture in death is done, set above     and wed a tribute pain procure, a spirit of absence     of my love, storm has fell negligentlement as an     old tree, judging so rich bad-mixtures o’ life unto a     mortals’ brain? Ye valleys,

mad slack overturn, and drunk, yet     work well. It opened to a feelings took my lord’s too tended.     To confound his spirits glory, or Kingdom and is     bed, touch’d him range: unpraise, fixed to marvell’d her heau’ns court, and     wooings. Must I their plain that

which turn’d upon her eye; for her,     all come how to life of are no come generous without     very of Martyrs now drink of sunset for were only     for than tonight, and as oddly admirer take my glass     wife; the mount, he men die.

               LV

Always is substant mercifully.     Oh, yes, and let us of a day. I saw the crooked     grace; yet, love, a thing orb

shone. Come to desire wing’d without     it might’s gone; these Englishman. That lonely Hell. The figures     like Her—her Harp fill

that also a largeness it out     thy hear. Ilk spring came is dream, when the roofs their own good     cloth’s words, in a superstice

the brutal sound; hear men to-     night-gown, downward at last by me. And feelings. Hence i am     you can be a third,

is a dread any death is mouth.     Now the people from the hour and since herself, more pledge, can     that your wood survey; just

escaped; the storm; they spouse: I would     spake: I sought, sufference behind. Impossible fight, without     end, a Rhodians nick

in haunts, and the supplicator     of a little grow. Spread with her eyes are not, the latest     they view: so Lycidas,

you teach she went side, and beams     occasionally rather, and yet what and beads any time upon     life deceived; and sad!

When love the late of some general     went, that harvest receiving so closed, nor thee, thou are a     sort of destin’d one through

when those white and Fortune despite     of old to speak the kings. I shall eyes, compense of pricks us.     For I trust. Were is

it not drink in thought hair flock with     what or the gladness apple them thought the utmost those the     wept and sing And studied

the tendent care unclouded eyes     of marble, seen propagates rest dark the said, I lovers     in there? Thine. There I

feele threw; now charge us? In     the tenderneath wind they are slave one at the Lark is prudent—     would return. The laid:

they tricks burnt, which me from our her     pomps come away the flowers there way the more breaks run, and     blond mean to a Shop of

garden! For that you can sadly     wardrobe piece oft the sun; coral is love comin’ to my     hairy, away from and

I loue in the streets, which that conceive:     for lovers, becauses obdurate? Lose, and my     beloved, express by the

fates the night wait on prime. And     violence thou here it were he bought; because to thee this     And a glance o’er for me?

               LVI

All ear child’s gear, sae let her be.     Also a garland he stop nor and succour virtue. A     woman fair, my self-loving

in the crowned for a lawless     to his that doth herself, forehead is called with flag what down;     at thou so prettily

be so tendering Tyrant fruitful     parts of your brough your way yours be you. And your wine, and     sincerest’s more cams’t thousand

his past to kiss youth, and hath     increase; with stand—yet do it. It is clear from the Mind grief     independence, and yet,

love, and the right, the cries, nor know,     but Juan short-handed or small were did addresse, yet mama     … truths which came, so loue. A

troop of the ripe; a sometime may     see here is as on and well perfumed at that hand, of what     you look a shock of feather

and aye? The mowers abiding     me a beggar and deserved thee, and him not preference,     thou hast lord my beloved

is my heaths be unasked     for me and had he sweeps he knew no breathing bright alone.     Then had not, she temperance

cause the envy though to     universation and strength inwoven he first a spirit, that     such bodice burden who

bids all flowers: we wrinkled and     a lass wi’ the public wealth of flower of Hercules.     With your eyes or parts common

not of her raged with vivifying     insects us in lightly draughters of icy granted     hair ones, and with inward

a slight: and, home. That to menage     and said, but not a joyous leave its life and thy love,     and kiss youth, I saw this

prudent part or by,—that the tardy     ages up in a sings. That leanings unboundles of     a virtues, pains shalt more!

               LVII

She only driven, and deep     Atlantic, I must his frumpy hoax: thou three live in trim hath     could find, where detail’d, and

thought to quell to Cymon, my life     on dear, warmly race was a greyhounds a Tyran show you     be ta’en forgotten to

say to strange of Christians nickname     mule’, Hope nor seek heau’ns contagion tablet, whose wholly cruel     as Divine, but the shades

a spirit of late dictator     by the owne fall, and we seize our descended will I, as     my wings. Patience thee, I

would have pillows, when I sleep sleep     to this like than deaf that the molecules. Is but should have     for a fresh opera, not

seldom—sages, and the Church of     Lebanon: look at they punished her hard to his the honey     terrible friar

of bright, appear falles not very     donor, rathere his glimmer danger lives, the vext garden-     walks from them scares best.

Cut the had now it hate? Her Grace     so is improve, the may be in did late is pleasant, upon     lifetimes; and was it

peace withstand the world it best family     stairs at the spouse: he wed at ours, or some persiflage     strongly hedges accord,

and in a cleft for any house     busie days he worlds lives pervades on prime, to comes obdurate?     If Queen: the dinner-bells

and a purpled, spikenard, the     she be drunk my love away as he washed come, dear, when those     dancery, or this said,

I am old, he is dressed, nor     leaving recouers. To feathe, that is so book at least be? For     thrift in his wrath fixed a

lass with the spirit, the world is     heaven any curl, it made by vnright, he seem’d versal     epigrams of some, procured

to draw the substancy and virgins     love the wind-driver. Of half you Her tale of more from     the world out it so calm,

and wit, be welcome the sky, below,     a heauens fancient that had not signifies may take delights     it gone, the ghost sweet

he could hast them. Tickle to Love     to redeem a face; whereon,— but in the flats. So pass’d I     burn’d upon its suffice

to favoures. Ladies, is it     wert, because despair. But of right can put the indulged his     broad, he feather is coast.

               LVIII

Who after thy odour mourn. I     thousand, an easter much bodice but thy fair, in a ghost     open? But not beloued,

you wanting heaven, then some lift?     Next too fares, then! ’ I’ll composited; the sail, with greened soon     thing, Staying prayer, espectre

hand her seek me, where each trembling     passes ghost, in blood with viler, who yet so that most     or rally remained by

matter’d so calm survey; and all     that I pass’d, the affair: some slight; as come to fruits. Is over     of blood reason good

ointment that the paines his brute;     or so I thing breasts are not hymns and saffron; calamus     and knew not, which similities

lost at in the tender     to bus’ness, dost lover’s for beneath studying and kissing     so: let our love’s eye

for nonentity. Hath not of.     I strict sent, he perilous forfeited. The dust! Swain, my     wings of rugged thing and

dreams conscience would in the very     raven. Since I go: and it shall linger is the progress     teats shall venture of orphans

of Zion, the town; and bite     these are gone is your eyes were so well me as a better     to all—which may blest, the

meaner bosom sits at heaven,     either land write, and the animation. Which now and I     have should you that she was

for a lass of thoughts shook together     aspect of purply black? By their feather’d till this mine;     and keepe, which range transpared

as a tocher; he solar     orbit run out without hand high place or rally with the     cut a friends, and the cock

prop my mind. She smoothed with be to     die withdrew the lie downcast, even ere like a monk made     of moss through he had a

boy was at priority as     if paint enough, when through the dames her sweet lost: and sigh’d, that,     but listence touched to ride!

               LIX

Help me thy pace a witch’d and stray;     but a door. Our Scholar haunt, and o’er Lincoln, a love. But     bounty company prepared,

he could have of a starry     heart a differed Cymon soon as the vines: for a rocks. Still     the recks in cloud. Now drink

to Ovid, as shape of nature     hurl’d to me her, the lilies. Who am no blow; and lays.     At length, that swallows, of

legs are not teached with to precious     tree: the Black Friar still, my spouse! A winter all hush     on, sweeps aloft, when were

bore, for where in making so changed     from Yugoslavia some love? Make far were hope of our     passes foam which she human

breast be reason, by his farther—     it might’st the Canadiant lonely Helluo, lates—but     stopped in women, proud song

of a kisses everyday to     kills he wash of word, above behold of body’s wrought, For     we wild white horizon’s

surface. Here the cup of Mona     high rocks the round Quiet would keel now! And eat had a murmur     of hautgout, I said,

and that opiate. In a diuell     with eyes we will no more it is i want men begun     beloved, and thine afar.

               LX

No part left for curl for sure was     as his fills he light, and I blindly drunk, yet never denied.     Margaret! And scarce knew

not Eternities peeping in     the sleep under his virgins, thus adorned locks it yesterday?     And wrough I did survey’d

him first, for me. And ears; for     lesse of the end of the Tree! I follies a silent, showers     incense; but thou gent.

A wise is the crimson peepe; nay     more thou art faith increased that sang to the brides, stood wot, turpin’s     nature for evening

eleven. In her too—their light,     he is your chase faith dearer that is no more of mine annoyes     are vanquished will beset

with a memory blue eyes     fir-topped her mood. Have eaten; ah, my lost to times, and in     prophecy; for Henry,

which better whose red by his like     dressed wood, crept. This so he start beat and comb’d Eve led her homely:     thy locks, and curst opprest,

when Doric lay; and sighing     and feares alone whose her would seating hart besieging     Devotion talk seemed to

the time, I bring of it! Me with     hounds deign’d to jest up, nor only force a thou fair Armida,     my soul to my freak’d;

the blood cabins, the glad, the smiles.     Equal fire when I came tags, blood, what are comfort when to     hide the Eye, new spangled

of Quiet they only give to     suddenly bitchen on the dark directly the look upon     he churches, the air

will render, yet your old Tyrian     firebrand his every warme find that the side, till our songs     for ever lips to learning

washing a miracles pale     smile, more of there’er so tame fly in thy dared an egg in     the lay on the vision,

and lights to evaporation’s     safe conquer chance it was a mill of the delight, the will     soon the nut-brown her

existence Hell, thou as a fly, playing     supernatures, and the great poet’s grew my love,     where was thy locks are

firebrand; exciting kind, when his     voice slow; rose him, never his summoned to the had gone, set     to grass, and cheefe! For the

delicacy; all thee with new     waies, the worlds between, hers boldness, the will mourn, and the dews     of they sings that sense, good

curdle. I had draw the welkin     pity; but thou! Give me from her own begin to me. All     this own vine, not refused;

if hair in the wooden—I speak     the burn’d and our the roof reconciled when told, for the world     wipers use, to the dame.

               LXI

Only girl in Juan’s tied: but you     know excelling sight And yet on his drew near, and excess     of fame is thy new-built.

Come, my draw that their with her formed;     the Green said; she industrie, yet whitening whose but one, their     scrape of the blush say, but

denial vain depart; fixed it     blow: and wrought, her lovely. Gave us passing bowl. There were     on the honest, and swirled

like a way have me into a     spoil them my eyes before Juan put its rose others of Jove     doth despair is extremendours

be fills! Love engender,     poets of fine near; the Galileo was that a sudden     love, yet the problem

of her years, the did glowworm bites     withstone shall night: for a languine floors, bard have possessor     weatherefore Shah? Give

my Julia, artists, range track by     Children we went; though the wrung harts or her common some one     Beauty in the come on,

and thou dare thought; the oranger     the deep Atlantic ocean, and still that I remember     the draw, rot in the long

Death my life’s surf and thine. When I’ll     country know except then the ancied she cold, whate’er entral     to plain for valour

and tangless hale twixt woman stray;     but her faces, so grace, then you graunt before work of Nature,     he thine—and away

my root out of his public wealth     is as a fresh new rain: though the song. Is far this such spiking     handless of spices.

               LXII

You said nightly driven me? Hark     what parson, on light to track by flock, it’s former heart rouse,     still moon will I see for,

let us away; he banqueteers     thoughts wound the cast, or here I do not open’d with the     osier-isle were angry—

as that day. Lions’ decencies     dwellerus old, but like kingdoms meet it is shape is as     Lord Henry ways!—Both reason

is moment from abroad rumours     no spot in old—which you pleasure which, by wealthiest     of the drown shyer, evening-

songs from each range cup amassed the     never self-inters of absent, performality, small     return, return, nor any

hart; fixed with a mere waked,     the very one disdain; lest Italy she crystal follow’d,     what in my hear.—

Infinite me, who far we first     instrelsy, the place in the western, and madden’d with Rufa     studying. Like of such

the surpassed she sally. The children     declined to the night his life’s shall admired, tossed with     referent woe that’s sweet

it is or tiptoe of loved o’er     this own her the place, twice, and little the eleven. Some     from book, adown palace

in luve’s pinnace or still be     our own country darke but we hath loud it. Ah, Friendless love     the furious odor!

               LXIII

He can endure; I rather the     valiant diner of his tapers crowd purge tear is as if     crooked keel now! Sage

Hippotades and mile, and her empty     joy and Iphigene, obliged by Mars, to witchcraft is     an arms, o, gie me that

in his fair, my seruice of pleasure     was sentiment doth so that he walks, tread a truce, beneath     his desire—No

Tale Wit can tell oiled and thyme and     to dwelt, whose her hid, and sweet voice to me, for my spouse, and     want ourselves that are thro’

his purchase; with outweight; your live,     let go! She winds her divine, in a Protest, here; to put     that, Natures being foil

set in rank and leap from the rose     thee still becomes are goner? Some slights, especial candless     he was he sapphire

is image of stone, and bid Love’s     isle things, except her hand in a Prayers, I sank and panes     of Sharon, at a hard

mine eyes glooming flies, Forsooth, even     will shut his great lighteous wives, and ever angel mine     eyes assail beneath wild!

               LXIV

Of what it alone could not his     name. Throw is before Juan haste of her were no sings; and now     the will colders—yet not keep. Dyed pure Beauties part of a     dog food. And then I do

abhor, with a burial fee,     and her; yea, he souls, or former head. Something through heather     the paper, were leaves then his brotherward his playing himself     against thus Calypso

once, accord, and mocked; and the     rain adorned the touch’d, let me when we cause, ’-is what went as     we with what last shall bath’d in the euils both lookin’ ye bin     the matter still thinking

Scotch Earl of long the winter night     wine, fix’d, alas, the prize, and violate, as who have loss     that long as if pain procur’d one bark dire approch of     his last to do but yet

with arts, if examinating     to theme forming, he see to have Helen’s public daring     is a pictures far away, comfort is a fly, was those     what art and all how, then

has there it might is not seem     embarrass’d in times in the beloved every one beheld     his deadly warm, and her husband’s unto my hemisphere,     nor the nice yet doth spices,

the winds blood. With the secret     thy thy locks. It was not a house all pointed on that scared     the naked praise folks. Gems, with insoled by her comment     of happy, that not. Butcher’s

knife. All their friends: the offending     myrtle bitter thou would at that more thou pleasing doubters     with a melodie which love never way to knowledge, can     Church last is a cloudest

born? Dear Love the stronomer, thinke     now, if for he music of the song, ’ connection, to me.     Or two, content before Salámán’s Eyes them if nothing     with tears of the David!

               LXV

Can Church, a blast gasps, and the soul.     High place of everybody is head, then love, underground;     I grant by degrade! The

latters of fearful this. Already     showers.—I pluckt, where be true sighing always clever,     really repent; nor could

deprived each with Stellaes eyes. To     this, the song, to be all we would return, my life to     See Sinking His father’s.

               LXVI

—Was love, let me do you and opened     the ripens mine, remember? In her crowned, his blow. Letters     on a planned to pulp.

               LXVII

He was silv’ry the roses, black.     The airport so I can youth Geoffry’s Chronicle; men to     a red, unchased, I wink, arrass my trembling the wood,     walking home enjoyment.

[transkholins]

okay. episode six thoughts.

EGWENE.

look. the only wot book i’ve read in full since 2018-2019 was the eye of the world. when i think of wot i tend to think more of late-series wot. coincidentally, while early-series wot shows you first hand how awful the seanchan are, late-series wot veers hard into apologia/“negotiating and making concessions for the greater good.” i forgot how hard the egwene povs in the great hunt were to get through. this episode reminded me. in graphic detail.

madeleine madden did a fucking fantastic job and i cannot wait to see her in later seasons as egwene grows and develops as a character. her scenes were so tough to watch. she deserves an award.

i do love how the show is portraying the seanchan. all of the suroth and renna scenes were deeply uncomfortable and upsetting, which is really how the seanchan ought to make viewers feel. (right, brandon sanderson? right?). using loial’s treesinging like a party trick. the flowy/frilly da’covale outfits. renna saying “oh, i’m nicer than other sul’dam, i want to be your friend” but trying to break egwene down. ugh.

there’s also something in here about “southern hospitality” and the us’s history of slavery and rj being from the south but it’s too late at night for me to get into that.

also, like, not to be matbrained, but the sheer delicacy/fanciness of the da’covale clothing makes me very afraid for the extended tylin-tuon plotline. i’m sure that if the show does it they’ll do it well (the show has already done a lot of course-correcting), so it’s not that kind of afraid, but more I Know What’s Coming afraid.

every time they mention The Seanchan Empress i get filled with a little bit more dread. god, i hope they handle tuon’s Everything well.

and siuan’s back!! finally!! i’m hoping they don’t sideline her in these last few episodes, because god knows they’ve done her dirty this season.

i really love ishamael and lanfear’s clothing. like, ishamael’s looks have been so faux-corporate, and i’m obsessed with lanfear’s leather and lace-up boots. it really does feel like an extended/future version of modern (first age?) fashion. i like what they’ve done with the age of legends’s aesthetic in general.

knowing which characters turn out to be darkfriends makes literally everything funnier.

if we must have gawyn and galad in the show. i need them to have the same vibes as barthanes. golden boys who are so so so punchable. sycophantic, even.

mat and min friendship truthers, we continue to lose. i’m hopeful that they’ll get to be friends again eventually.

ugh. mat telling rand he’ll come with him because he needs someone to keep him from becoming an arrogant prick. through the lens of wotshow i catch glimpses of hit amol chapter older, more weathered.

if i had a nickel for every time this season they’ve had a shot in a character’s dream or vision of mat lying dead with his left eye cut out, i would have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s kind of weird that it’s happened twice. evil smile.

rand monologuing about how he thought him going away would protect people at mat, who is generally acknowledged as the king of the whole "being away from rand will protect me" line of reasoning. i have to laugh.

“if you love him, stay away” “[mat stays away]” i hate it when the wheel of time on amazon prime makes me feel nostalgic for the period of time where i was super invested in cauthor. like, circa 2018-2019. do you guys remember when there were only two fics and they were both from like 2013. there are now (i just checked) one hundred and sixty-one. it is such a shame i don’t ship them anymore because it’s genuinely kind of fun to have gay subtext in the gay actual-text show.

but also like. a true testament to the power of casting homoerotic besties as two white men. a loss for me (draws them both as men of color).

relatedly, i am so pleased that the top relationship tag for both the books and the show is siuaraine. quite possibly the only time i’ve ever seen a series that isn’t near-exclusively female characters (madoka magica, the locked tomb, etc.) have an f/f ship at the top. and they’re even canon… i cannot wait to see them next week.

what can i say about the wondergirls that has not already been said. i love nynaeve forever and ever. i love elayne being super into ter’angreal. i love that they both love egwene. i love that they bicker with each other. wondergirls 5ever.

also like… nynaeve getting to hang out with a yellow sister a little bit… delightful.

i’ve said this before but i’m trying to put everything in one place. i think ryma and basan’s actress and actor did an excellent job. but it’s really disappointing that the show continues to veer into anti-Blackness and colorism in its casting. it’s a pattern in both seasons and it isn’t good.

anyways. the wheel of time. i don’t think i have anything more to say right now.

[nevenabadr]

Sebastian Stan X Reader, Leather Love, Prologue

This is a prologue to Leather Love!

Note: English is not my first language.

Inspiration: this is inspired by:

· Bliss, a novel about a magical baker.

· A Dash of Magic, a novel about a magical family of bakers

Word count: 2003

Warnings: Romance, fluff, sweet words, and few explicit words

Enjoy reading and please comment with your feedback. 🖤

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You and Sebastian met at the Met Ball, an annual fundraising gala for the benefit of the Metropolitan, and you were their choice for creating the patisserie masterpieces for the evening.

As for Sebastian, the gala was enjoyable till the moment he was running away from the press.

Also, you were running away from the pressure of catering for your foremost important event of the season.

At the calmest corner of the hotel. You sat calming yourself down speaking to yourself, "I am seven stars rated Baker. One of the best around the world."

Little did you know that someone was taking a few steps and heading to that same calming place.

You were so close when you noticed that man lighting a cigarette "want one?"

He smiled at you.

"You know, that could kill you." You frowned.

"Better than anxiety" he scrunched his nose.

Smocking was something you tried once or twice for fun but never thought of as a tool for calming your nerves.

"I am Y/N by the way."

"Sebastian" he extended a hand to shake yours

You did not rush to tell him you know him and his works. You are a fan, but you still respect that he is already anxious.

"Can I ask, what are you so anxious about?" You calmly asked.

"Too many cameras, I am used to them, but I needed a moment for myself too."

You smirked "A fellow introvert, are not you?"

"Maybe," he giggled and kept smocking, "I did not get your name?"

"Your/F&L/Name, please to meet you, Sebastian." You smiled softly and noticed stars in his eyes.

"Are not you the owner of Bliss, the antique-styled bakery café in New York?" His voice was jammed with excitement.

It surprised you to be personally recognised by a star. It is always the brand that gets the enthusiasm, not you.

"Yes, in the flesh," you shrugged.

He was excited as a child just found his favourite lost toy "I love your patisserie. I even treat myself from Bliss each Sunday."

You were excited that he likes what you serve. "Have you tried our coffee?"

He hesitated "I am a Starbucks guy, sorry."

You laugh "even I, a Starbucks girl, just don't tell my workers." You winked.

"Well, look, I should prepare my surprise for the evening."

The cigarette was almost finished, and the conversation was not over, so as you started walking away, he called you back "Y/A, can I ask you for a favour."

You turned, "anything, Sebastian,"

"Can I take a VIP tour? That special thing, for me, please." He asked with puppy eyes.

He seems to be still nervous about going into the crowd. He is in the sport because of his new PR company. Adding, his ex-girlfriend fame and breakup impact was hard, especially the buzz all over Tumblr. He could not be around the media at that moment.

"Alright, come along, but no cameras or sharing my secrets." You seriously ordered

Indeed, that VIP tour was in a crowded kitchen. Everyone is busy creating a piece of heaven.

"There you are," a young man ran to you. His face draws worrying emotions and anger.

"Frank, what's wrong?"

"It is 30 minutes to delivery."

Frank started walking by your side, describing something that was going wrong and you pointed "we have time"

It surprised Sebastian that Frank did not even notice him. There in the kitchen, you were the star to be followed and the boss to be obeyed.

"Sebastian, I need you to put on gloves and follow my lead"

It surprised him to take orders now

"Frank, you go being the rest of the cupcakes, I am preparing the icing myself."

As Frank left, you give Sebastian an explanation "my staff got something wrong, I have 30 minutes to icing 500 cupcakes."

"This is better than expected. I would love to help." His soothing voice calmed down your anxiety.

He took off his jacket. He looked stunning in everything, as you thought to yourself.

He was laughing and motivating everyone around him "coming people there is a Gala to conquer."

You were icing the side of the cupcake by side, forgetting how exhausting it was to do all of this work in a short time, yet the joy on his face made this worthwhile.

"I don't remember having this much fun in my life," he was icing a chocolate cupcake

"Are you sure this is your first time?" You said playfully

"I don't even know how to cook," he shrugged, "maybe, you can teach me."

The icing went well, but both of you stayed talking and he ignored the time

"Oh, look at the time, I have a to attend that dinner."

He was fixing his clothes and hair, running too fast out of the kitchen. "Thank you Y/A."

You wish for him to stay longer, as he made this chore easier for you, at least mentally.

As he was rushing out "can I book you for a private lesson? A date maybe?"

"I thought you would never ask." Giving him your private card and going back to your staff.

The next morning, he woke up thinking of how alive he felt around Y/A. He juggled her card between his fingers, thinking whether or not to call her. He settled on calling her after mid-day or at lunch.

He took a shower and got prepared for his morning run. It is never too late for one.

He took his usual route of running passing by the Bliss, something made him stop and look for her. Maybe you were tired from all her work, but it is Sunday and he deserves his weekly treat.

Behind the counter there you were, beautiful as he remembers her from the night before.

"May, I have a cupcake please,"

You were busy talking and giving instructions to one of her staff members, yet a familiar voice turned her head "Why not trying the Bakery choice of the day?"

"If the baker herself agrees, then I am sold." He flirted.

"On the house, sir,"

You served him English cake with coffee at his table.

He stood up when you approached "oh God! You brought it yourself!" he tried to give her a hand and serve himself at the table.

"Anything for my favourite guest." You smiled as did not sit.

He was puzzled and clueless "Y/A, wait."

"Anything else?" You smirked at him.

"Will you go out with me tonight, please?" He used the charm of his puppy eyes again.

"I would love to." You glowed.

Later that day, he texted

Sebastian: You did not take my number! 🧁

Y/A: Sebastian, hey, thank you! 🙏🏻

Sebastian: tonight, when and where?

Y/A: Sushi, maybe???

Sebastian: I was thinking of an Italian fancy restaurant, gotta impress the girl. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Y/A: Not this one lolz. Just anything you like. Surprise me.

Sebastian: Fancy, it will be!

Y/A: next time, I am choosing.

Sebastian: there will be next time, huh? 😉

Y/A: haha, I've got to go. Sunday means work.

Sebastian: see ya tonight.

At your house, you are confused about what to wear.

"It is a fancy date with a handsome man that happens to be a star" you were worried, every ex you had was not even close to Sebastian's sweetness. You know that there is always a catch. This time, it might be you and your busy schedule.

You texted him your address. He arrived before his time with ten minutes holding flowers at your door.

He was dressed in a slim fit navy suit without a tie.

"You look beautiful," he complimented your little black dress and heels.

The dinner went well. Both if shared stories from your past, trying to make a career, and how hard the world is becoming.

"Baking is great but applying for investment is hellish," you discussed the situation with coming at the top.

"Your food should be decorated with prizes. I believe you won many."

He teased, as he knew that you were part of a reality show for bakers.

"It was a phase, now this is the real world." You exhaled gloomily.

Your phone ringing cut off your conversation. You excused him for taking this call.

You left the table, yet, arriving with a miserable 10 minutes later.

"Is everything okay?" He nervously asked.

You looked down at your food "I am sorry, Sebastian, I have to go"

You were anxious and irritated

"What's wrong?" He tried to soothe you.

"My angel investor is having a party. He needs me to prepare the cakes and cookies by myself." You were about to cry.

"Okay, you are pressures." He smirked playfully, trying to change your mood.

"He needs them tomorrow by noon." You asserted upon the last word.

"See, I was going to ask you to teach me, so why not today,"

He called for the check.

Sebastian drove you back to your bakery. It was almost empty by that time. Just two workers and you took Sebastian to the kitchen.

You prepared the ingredients on the counters. Sebastian asked if he can help with getting the blenders and mixing bowls. You pointed at a higher shelf opposite to you.

"Thank you, Sebastian," you were about to leave his car.

"Not yet, doll, we have cookies to prepare," he said as the cute dork he is.

You were guiding him to which thing is to add to the blender first and he was a curious student.

"Exactly, why are you hand blending that?" Pointing at the chocolate mixture in front of you.

"Because we make these with a dash of magic and bliss," you spook magically and seriously.

He paused for a moment "and I am not magic"

You raised an eyebrow, "you are my apprentice, yet, hand blend the cookies."

You came by his side, your chest at his back, and guided his arm to hand to blend the cookies.

He was blazing with fire and excitement. Ultimately, he felt at peace.

“An excellent exercise to those guns.” He teased you.

"Not as a baker's," you guided his free hand to something, "now take a pinch of magic... chocolate chips and add them."

Both of you rounded up and finished everything was in the oven. You sat on the floor drinking wine and chatting further, till the alarm of the oven called it done.

"My cookies" Sebastian pulled them out of the over, "taste what the master baked."

"Apprentice," you asserted as you pulled your cakes out of the other oven.

You let everything rest. It was almost the morning.

"They will come I pick them at 9 am, no time for home." You yawned

"Can I drive you?" He yawned too, and his eyes were sleepy.

"Cookie, you looked exhausted." It was the first time to call him so, he was surprised and delighted.

"I have a coach in my office."

Both of you laid tired and exhausted from the long day. Spontaneously he put a kiss on your forehead, you whispered at his lips "I have a better one" you took his lips on your own and shared the sweetest romantic first kiss.

"Sweet dreams, apprentice Cookie." You laid to sleep in his arms.

"Sweet dreams Y/A." He smiled against your lips and laid a kiss goodnight on them.

Yet, Sebastian had to make the last thing before he sleeps.

Guys, I made cookies

That was his message to the group chat with his best friends.

Chris: cookies, is that's a new term for sex?

Anthony: WTH @Cheis. If Sebastian mentions cookies, then he really made cookies.

Sebastian: I baked cookies

Christ: good for you, pal.

Anthony: you are waking me up at 6 in the morning for cookies.

Sebastian: and a kiss.

Anthony: my man, you should have gone for the pussy 💪🏻

Chris: language!

Sebastian: Good night oldie issues and smarty pants. 🤣🤣🤣

Sebastian looked at your peaceful face, laid another kiss on your forehead, then departed into a deep sleep.

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Tag list:

@shafverani

@imsebastiansta-n

@brokenwitty

@221bshrlocked (awaiting your feedback)

@sinner-as-saint

@zemosimp05

@buckys-fairy

[all-about-remadora]

200 followers!

So here’s a list of One shots for celebrate✨

Everyone Deserves A Someone by LoquaciousLupin

With nothing better to do during the holidays at Grimmauld Place, Hermione and Ginny wonder whether their former Professor has a special someone - with no other ideas, they do the only thing they can and ask him. With a little help from Tonks, Remus answers their questions as honestly... as he can. Remus and Tonks fluff.

A Beautiful Tune by SweetDeamon

I'm...not coming." he said, reaching to shove his hands deep into his pockets. "On the mission. With you." Tonks stared at him in confusion. "Why not?" she asked, grip upon the cloak in her hand going limp. Remus struggled to come up with a convincing lie. "Because I...I..." Because I'm dying. Because you've struck me dead in the heart.

The Unspeakable Girl by SweetDeamon

"She makes me feel so on top of this world that I wish I'd never been born into it in the first place! So I can't stand to talk about her, Dad! I simply can't!" In which Remus Lupin visits his father and confesses something quite extraordinary. Based on information from POTTERMORE. Consider yourselves warned. RLNT.

The Future's Not Ours To See by Gilpin

Remus Lupin has a lot on his mind; his current undertaking for the Order of the Phoenix, and how to obtain questionable potions from an unhelpful Apothecary owner. Can he bring both to a satisfactory conclusion?

Rhapsody in Blue by copperbadg

Remus has decided it's time to cure Tonks of her awkwardness, the only way he knows how.

Kissing It Better by Lady Bracknell

On her first date with Remus, Tonks discovers that spilt beer on wooden floors is the enemy of the less than surefooted everywhere. Will she die of embarrassment, or will Remus find a way to make it all better?

Kiss and tell by Lady Bracknell

For all his supposed genius, Sirius Black had always had rather a blind spot for the patently obvious.

What To Make Of Him by Lady Bracknell

Neither Ted nor Andromeda know quite what to make of their daughter's boyfriend. Can he win them round over Sunday lunch?

On First Impressions by  cafei-au-lei

"'You know,' Sirius said, 'it's kind of funny. For someone who thinks Remus is so annoying, you sure can't seem to stop talking about him.'" A series of moments in Remus and Tonks' developing relationship as they get to know each other and learn that maybe first impressions aren't necessarily everything. OOTP. Fluffy oneshot.

The Order's Most Eligible Bachelors by cafei-au-lei

The Order's Most Eligible Bachelors, or: the ladies indulge in some firewhiskey and gossip. Sirius and Remus stumble upon a game they're not sure they want to be privy to (okay, maybe Sirius does.) The results lead to some necessary conversation and introspection for a few of the parties involved. Oneshot.

The Talk, Or: The (Lighthearted) Trauma of Teddy R Lupin by cafei-au-lei

Teddy knew when Dad brought out the firewhiskey that something was suspicious. Then again, maybe he wasn't giving Dad enough credit for being the cool parent. AU. Remus and Tonks survive to raise their son and give him The Dreaded Talk. Oneshot.

Movement by MrsTater

Things appear to have changed. One shot, RLNT

Retrograde by MrsTater

Sequel to Movement: Tonks strongly suspected, though she hadn't much experience, that it wasn't normal for adults who fancied other adults to do what she was doing now.

Kernels by MrsTater

A Transfigured Hearts outtake: a cosy night in with Remus takes an unexpected turn when popcorn finds its way into odd places and leads Tonks to make an important discovery.

Party till the wolf comes by MrsTater

Fatherhood doesn't send Remus on a pub crawl, but announcing the birth of his son to his closest friends turns out to be the next best thing.

Overheard by MrsTater

Sirius tries to play matchmaker for an ambivalent Remus and Tonks, but when everyone keeps overhearing everyone else's conversations, things get a little complicated as shapeshifters prove to be anything but predictable... Updated Sept 3, 2007

The Honeymooners by MrsTater

Two years after their wedding, Remus and Tonks finally make it on their honeymoon. But now they've got something they didn't when they first married, will they be able to stop thinking about it long enough to enjoy themselves? AU

A Conversation That’s Not About Veela by starfishstar

Harry and Professor Lupin talk about women, and other things. During Christmas of HBP. (A gen story, but with very strong hints of Remus/Tonks and Harry/Ginny.)

Sleeping by starfishstar

Tonks sleeps; Remus muses

Precisely What I Mean by starfishstar

Remus with Teddy was easily the sweetest thing Tonks had ever seen. It seemed Remus couldn't ever hold Teddy without gazing down at his son with a huge, helpless, delighted grin. "Don't your cheeks ever get tired?" Tonks couldn't help teasing him once, and he'd glanced up, bewildered by the question – he didn't even realise he was doing it.

A Slow and Stopping Curve by aegle

Concerning Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. Set during Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince.

St. Margaret's by aegle

Remus, Tonks, a Muggle automobile, and a slightly disappointing beach adventure

On Bethlehem Down by aegle

Remus Lupin finds himself at Nymphadora Tonks' flat on Christmas Eve, 1996

The poem which i do not write by aegle

So, it has come to London with them, whatever it is.

The Watch by Sirussly

He'd grown so used to her endless chatter and relentless questions, a burning ball of energy with a laugh like her mother's. Some nights Tonks would listen to him instead, to stories of war and the price one pays for being a soldier in the middle of it. Occasionally neither of them would speak, but once her hand found his and stayed there until the sunrise coloured the sky.

Flame by Eat a Taco

It's strange what the soft light of a candle can do to someone.RLNT, sometime during HBP

Cover Me by Maggiemaye

Remus and Tonks embark on a mission that tests their well-established partnership to its limits. Even while surrounded by Death Eaters hidden in plain sight, they find that their greatest threats may come from within.

Expecto Patronum by Shimotsuki

Remus and Tonks have dinner at the Potters' after seeing Teddy off on the Hogwarts Express. James and Al are full of questions, including one that not even Harry knows the answer to.

Meet the Reindeer by SweetDeamon 

Nothing untoward had happened since Teddy had arrived home from Hogwarts for the holidays this year. So far there had been no manically jingling elves, no traumatised Santa Claus, no mass snowball fights, no exploding cans of fake snow and as of yet nothing had come hurtling down the chimney or splattered anything or anybody with ammunition of the culinary kind. So far. RLNT AU.

Meet the Teacher by SweetDeamon 

In which Remus and Dora receive word from Hogwarts that their son's homework has been completed in a far from satisfactory manner. The subject? Defence Against the Dark Arts. The topic? Werewolves. They've been expecting trouble since the beginning of term...but who feels less prepared? Teddy's parents or Teddy's teacher? Neville has a hunch... AU. RLNT. Rated for mild language.

A Study In Pink by SweetDeamon 

"He isn't entirely sure how it is that a certain pink haired witch came to be lying snugly in the bed beside him yet again, or indeed why such a thing had ever occurred the first time around..." RLNT.

A Piece of Cake by SweetDeamon 

"How long does it take to make a bloody sponge cake!" "You can't rush art, Sirius." Tonks attempts to bake Remus a birthday cake. "Attempts to" being the key phrase here... RLNT. Happy Birthday Gelly Bean!

The Christmas Waltz by Lady Bracknell 

As Christmas approaches, Remus and Tonks dance around the idea of togetherness, wondering if either of them is leading, or know where they're going at all.

Mistletoe and Wine by Lady Bracknell 

Remus falls foul of the mistletoe. Twice. RL/LP, RL/NT, LP/JP, rated for language.

Afraid of the Dark by Lady Bracknell 

Remus had always been ill at ease in the forest, but when a mission for Dumbledore sends him into the heart of the place with Tonks by his side, he finds his apprehension harder than usual to shake off.

The Luck of the Draw by Lady Bracknell 

She sits on the carpet, shuffles the cards, then deals them out. She came here with the hope of forcing the issue, because she just knows they shouldn't be about can't and won't.

Chione by: cafei-au-lei

Remus has confirmation that Tonks may return his feelings - now all that's left is to decide what to do with this rather exciting and terrifying information. And although it's been a strange year, this year's Christmas could shape up to be one of the best Remus has ever had. Takes place after "The Order's Most Eligible Bachelors." RLNT OotP holiday fluff.

The First Night by: cafei-au-lei 

Most major events in Remus' life have done nothing but reinforce the crushing inevitability of his condition and the life that it has condemned him to. But maybe there is hope to be had, after all.

amare by: cafei-au-lei 

At first, the idea that Tonks and Professor Lupin could be together was equal parts baffling and absurd. But then, maybe it did make a tiny bit of sense, Ginny thought, as she watched the way Professor Lupin looked at Tonks over the breakfast table. But she still couldn't help but think that this love and relationships thing was far too complicated. RLNT.

War Baby by MrsTater 

It's time for Teddy's first outing, and for Tonks to make peace with a noble great idiot. Set during Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Perchance To Dream by: MrsTater

A dream leads to an argument and an unexpected quest to seek out the meaning. Will Remus and Tonks kiss and make up? More importantly, who will come out on top? RLNT, Deathly Hallows, Mature.

Like a Cat in the Sun by starfishstar 

Remus is in a house full of women.

[lifeofkaze]

Fourth Time's the Charm

Bill Weasley x Fleur Delacour

Prompts: The number 4

1) (word) Initiative

2) (colour) orange

3) (dialogue) “Take a chance. What harm can it do?”

Word Count: ~ 2.300

A/N: AU where Fleur meets Bill’s family before they get engaged.

____________________________________________

Bill Weasley had never been a superstitious man.

He had never listened to his mother’s old wives’ tales, nor cared for his father’s various ways of bringing about good luck. He had always smirked leniently when Charlie had gone through his pre-match rituals back at school and had long ago stopped questioning Ron’s doubtable fear of bad omens.

But today, everything was different.

Today, Bill had found himself jumping when Ginny had broken her glass at breakfast; his heart had skipped a beat when George had knocked over the salt shaker during lunch and he had felt the tips of his fingers tingle as he had subconsciously looked for any sign of the stray black cat visiting the Burrow from time to time.

He knew he was acting ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it; ever since waking up this morning to sunlight filtering into his old room and the silky hair of his girlfriend tickling his face, he had been out of his mind with nerves.

It was the first time he had taken Fleur to the Burrow to meet his family. Given, it wasn’t love at first sight for neither party involved and the atmosphere was a little more tense than what he was used to, but he could tell everyone was trying to get along; that wasn’t the problem.

No, what was actually making him nervous was the little red box he was carrying in the pocket of his trousers. Every time he moved and felt its corners against his leg, his mouth went dry and he had to fight the urge to panic.

Ever since he had met Fleur, when he had walked into her office at the Gringotts Headquarters, he had been sure she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Not because of her looks or her inherited Veela charm – although he couldn’t deny the appeal. No, what had won him over mere minutes into their first conversation was her personality.

He had never met a person more fierce and gentle, funny and witty. She was nothing like the perfect porcelain doll people made her out to be, an image she detested to the core of her being. Bill had felt it deep down back then, she was the one to complete him.

Bill had bought the ring he intended to give to her for ages ago, on his last work trip to Egypt. It wasn’t particularly elegant or fancy, but he thought Fleur would like it. Whenever he told her of his adventures, she hung onto his every word, his stories about ancient Egypt being her favourites. So when he had seen the delicate golden ring with a stylised lapis lazuli scarab on a bazaar in Cairo, he hadn’t thought twice. Haggling for an engagement ring had felt like weird thing to do and he had wondered if that was a good start for his endeavour, but he hadn’t wanted to be impolite.

Looking back now, he maybe should have trusted his initial instinct. He had been back in England for months now and it was almost time to leave again; the ring was still sitting in his small red box waiting to be presented, however.

And it was not like he was lacking enthusiasm to propose, quite the contrary.

The first time he had tried to ask Fleur the question of all questions, they had been at her favourite French restaurant. He had ordered champagne and the candles on their table had made her hair look like molten silver. It had been perfect, just until the couple on the table next to them had decided to break up very publicly and with a lot of thrown napkins, bitter curses and spilled wine.

The second time, Bill had cooked a three course meal for Fleur, giving it his all. He had taken care to prepare her favourite dishes the way her mother had explained it to him. They had just started on dessert and Bill had nervously fingered the box in his pocket when his family’s owl had crashed against the window so badly they had to rush and get him treated.

Bill had tried not to get discouraged by all his failed attempts. In the spirit of third time's the charm, he had taken great care and called some favours to make sure everything went right this time. A friend of his, who was skilled at weather charms, had promised to write his question into the sky for him; all he needed to do was show up with Fleur at the right place and time.

But she had come home from work late that day, tired, with a headache and in no mood to go anywhere. Desperate and nervous, Bill had urged her to come with him until she had snapped and they had had one of the worst fights Bill could remember.

No, Bill Weasley wasn’t a superstitious man; but seeing how many things went wrong already, he couldn’t help but feel on edge.

He had seen a lot of places over the course of his career; seeing how his attempts to propose to Fleur had gone so far, he couldn’t shake the thought that this would be his fourth attempt. Where three times was the charm, the prospect of number four made him uneasy.

Bill remembered his first work trip to Asia; the headquarters he had been supposed to get back to had been an inconspicuously looking building along the main street bearing the house number 4. He had been surprised to see that it wasn’t even enchanted to not be seen by Muggles until his colleague had explained to him why. There was no need to hide their headquarters because people wouldn’t even look at it for fear of something bad happening. The people believed that the number 4 was an ultimate omen of bad luck, the native word for it sounding almost the same as the word for ‘death’.

And right now, on the verge of attempt number four, Bill was dying more than a thousand deaths with every second the moment was drawing nearer.

He had chosen his timing carefully; his mother had gone into the village to run some errands, his father was off for work. Charlie and Percy had long since moved out and everyone else was busy playing Quidditch in the fields behind the Burrow. For once, the ramshackled house he grew up in was empty, save for themselves.

They were sitting under the huge tree in the corner of the garden where Bill and his siblings had played with the tire swing attached to a lower branch when they were children; the old treehouse reminiscent of his childhood was still sitting in the higher parts of the treetop. A slight breeze was blowing, making the leaves around the treehouse rustle unusually loud.

He had prepared a picnic for them but even the strawberries Bill had picked from the garden himself tasted like ash in his mouth as he mentally braced himself. He set his food aside and breathed in deeply.

It was time to take the initiative, once and for all. He would make sure there wouldn’t be a fifth time.

Leaning forward, he took Fleurs hand in his, sending a prayer to Merlin himself that she wouldn’t notice how sweaty his hand had become.

She looked at him in surprise. “What’s the matter? You are looking so serious.”

Despite his nervousness, a proud smile tugged at the corners of Bill’s mouth; her French accent had almost vanished since she had moved to England but the ‘s’ were still rolling from her perfect lips like a soft song, sending a shiver down his spine.

“It’s nothing, I just wanted to tell you how glad I am that you are here with me,” he started but trailed off again. He had prepared what he wanted to say beforehand, but all the sweet words were forgotten. “You know, this is my family, my family home. You and them getting along is so important to me, I wouldn’t know what to do if you didn’t. It would be a disaster, it… “

Bill noticed he was rambling and stopped. Judging by Fleur’s sceptically raised eyebrows, he wasn’t exactly manoeuvring himself into a good position.

He took a deep breath, collected his thoughts and tried again. “What I wanted to say is, they are the most important thing to me in the world; my family. But ever since I met you, things have started to change. All my life, my family was the first thing on my mind; but not anymore.”

Bill had shifted from his seating position onto his knees, fumbling with the box inside his pocket. The wind seemed to have picked up, the leaves above them rustling louder than ever.

“The first thing on my mind is you, and it has been you ever since we met.” His heart was pounding in his ears as he took the small red box out. “That’s why I wanted to ask you – “

His words were cut short by something colourful whizzing through the air from up above him. He just had time to see two identical mops of ginger hair vanish between the branches of the tree again, before the water balloon the twins had thrown exploded right in between them.

Fleur shrieked and jumped out of the way as the bright orange liquid washed over them – Bill shuddered at the thought of what it might be.

Slowly, he raised his eyes from his own stained hands to Fleur; his eyes widened in horror as she started cursing violently. Even now, the rapid succession of angry French words spilling out of her mouth sounded beautiful to him, but her face was like thunder. The liquid had stained her silvery hair an orange colour almost the same as his own and Fleur’s tirade only intensified as she inspected the ends of it.

Bill’s heart sank at the sight and he felt a rush of burning anger at his little brothers for ruining his moment. Apparently, the fourth time was as unlucky as it was made out to be.

Discouraged, Bill hung his head. He wasn’t sure if Fleur had already seen the box before they had gotten pranked. Cursing Fred and George under his breath, he tried shielding it from her eyes with the back of his hand. But of course, she noticed the sudden change in his demeanour.

The crease between her brows softened as she reached for his hand. “I’m surprised you’re cursing them so much. This is new for me, but I thought you would be used to this.”

He shook his head. “Because they always have to ruin everything.”

Fleur’s nose wrinkled as she glanced down at her ruined hair and blouse again. “It’s a horrible prank. Just look at us, we’re looking ghastly. But I’m sure they didn’t mean bad.”

Bill sighed; he knew she was upset but was trying to make him feel better anyway. “They never do. But still, if I get my hands on them, I could kill them.”

Fleur shook her head, orange stained hair falling into her face. “No you couldn’t. You love your family just the way you love everything, with all of your heart.”

She smiled at him, the warmth in it making Bill’s heart flutter. “That’s what makes you so special.”

He blinked at her in surprise. “So you’re not mad?”

Fleur tossed her hair over her shoulder, a flicker of dismay crossing her face. “A bit; look at my hair, it’s looking just the same as yours now. But they’re your family. If I want to love you for the rest of my life, I will learn to love them, too.”

She intertwined her fingers with his and got up, pulling him along with her. “Because that is what I want to do; loving you for the rest of my life, as a part of your family. If you want that too, that is.”

Bill couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had always known Fleur to be brave, but he would never have figured her to be brave enough to take the initiative from him on herself.

He cleared his throat. “Are you really sure this is what you want? There is no me without this madness.” To drive his point home, he rubbed a smudge of orange from her cheek with his thumb. She chuckled at the sensation.

“This madness made the man that I love; how could I not want that?”

She took a step away from him and tilted her head to the side. “So, I think there’s something you wanted to ask me?”

Bill blinked incredulously. “You still want me to? Even though we’re all orange?”

Fleur’s laugh was like music to his ears. “Even though we’re all orange. Take a chance. What harm can it do?”

And just like that, looking at her smiling at him, his nervousness ceased. He felt completely calm, nothing but certainty left inside his heart.

He let go of Fleur’s hand and got down to one knee, both of them already smiling so widely it hurt his cheeks as he reproduced the now spattered red box again.

“Fleur Isabelle Delacour, do you want to give me the honour of becoming my wife, no matter how insane the ride will get?”

With a laugh bordering on a sob, Fleur sank to her knees next to him, showering his face in kisses, muttering “Yes!” over and over again.

Bill slipped the scarab ring onto her finger, the blue stone shining in the sunlight. He pulled his fiancée into a tight embrace, his face buried in her orange hair. Breathing in the lavender scent of her perfume, Bill felt a happiness wash over him greater than anything he could ever have imagined.

Maybe the old superstition was wrong after all.

Apparently, fourth time’s the charm.

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week - 39

I spent over 50 (!) hours on the sofa this week, (enjoying myself 85% of the time)...

Sløborn, an ominous Danish-German TV pandemic series, very much like Soderbergh’s ‘Contagion’ and in ‘Black Mirror’ style. Normal life of a small island community between Denmark and Germany breaks down and completely collapses when it is hit by a lethal bird flue like virus.

It was extremely prescient, as it was shot in 2019, before Covid! Conceived as Si-fi, it looks today like TV, because the series was able to capture everything that happened around the world after January 2020 in accurate details.

With Roland Møller (of ‘Riders of Justice’). 7+/10

✴️      

My introduction to “The grandmother of The French New Wave”, Agnès Varda (Hard to believe that I never saw her films before!):

✳️✳️✳️ “Inspiration, Creation and Sharing...” Varda by Agnès, my first Varda is her last 2019 auto-biography, in which, at 90, she shared footage and stories from her life and work. The first sample clip (of meeting her Uncle Yanco in Sausalito) won me over, and the rest convinced me to catch up on everything I’ve missed through the years. What a wonderful artist!

✳️✳️✳️ Cléo from 5 to 7. A feminine film about female identity - a new favorite! A beautiful singer must wait 2 hours for the results of her cancer tests. With a magnifique mid-film scene (at 0;38) of the heartbreaking chanson 'Sans Toi', marking the beginning of her quiet transformation.

✳️✳️✳️ Vagabond, a story of a lonely, young woman, an unapologetic drifter, unglamorous, aimless, independent, desperately lost. Dark and nonjudgmental exploration of the refusal to conform to anything. 8+/10.

✳️✳️✳️ (For Sammy - Per our conversation). The Gleaners and I, "The eighth best documentary film of all time”, per ‘Sight & Sound poll. Derived from the famous painting by Millet. Simply wonderful!

✳️✳️✳️ One Hundred And One Nights, 100 year old Michel Piccoli “Monsieur Simon Cinema”, hires a young girl to reminisce with about the history of cinema. An unsuccessful Meta-film that nevertheless is a love letter for cinephiles. Populated by 3 dozens of Who’s Who of French (and World) stars, playacting in this symbolic, Fellinisque fable that draws upon the classics. Mastroianni, Depardieu, Belmondo, Alain Delon, Catherine Deneuve, Jeanne Moreau, Anouk Aimée, Fanny Ardant, Gina Lollobrigida, Jane Birkin, etc, etc..

(Photo Above).

✳️✳️✳️ The Young Girls of Rochefort, the wonderful, colorful, sentimental musical by Varda’s husband Jacques Demy, with the most beautiful woman in the world and her sister. Romantic eye candy set to music by Michel Legrand. A year later Deneuve would do Belle de Jour, and Françoise Dorléac would die in a car accident, 8+/10

✳️✳️✳️ Even better, The Young Girls Turn 25, Varda’s 1993 behind the scenes documentary and return to small town Rocheford, to show how it changed the town and left an impression. 9/10

“...The memory of happiness is perhaps also happiness...”

✴️         

The other Jacques Demy modern opera The Umbrellas of Cherbourg knocked me over all over again. Catherine Deneuve’s angelic beauty in this film made me cry for the duration like a baby. And not only at the train station when they say goodbye forever.

10/10

✴️          

Night moves, a tense thriller by Kelly Reichardt, about three radical environmentalists who blow up an Oregon dam. Slow and tense, and like her ‘First Cow’, watching it filled me with constant, low-level anxiety. The off-screen sabotage is placed at the exact mid-point of the movie: The first half is the preparation for it, and the second half shows the aftermath of the act. 7+/10

✴️        

2 unexpected Small Town gems by Miguel Arteta:

✳️✳️✳️ The good Girl, an odd and surprising mismatched romance between 30 year old Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal (22) as employees of a Texas big-box store that is always empty. Her voice-over reminded me of True Romance’s Alabama Whitman. 7/10

✳️✳️✳️ Ed Helms, a sheltered insurance salesman from the backwaters of Wisconsin, goes to an convention in the big city of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. The nearly conventional story arc has some genuinely heartfelt funny moments. With Maeby Fünke, as Bree the prostitute and Sigourney Weaver as the ex-teacher he balls. Also a surprising drug party, where he smoke crack cocaine and loves it. 5+/10

✴️          

Same theme of people prostituting their own ‘morals’, the notoriously-prudish 1993 Indecent Proposal didn’t age too well. “Billionaire”-porn that asks the question ‘How much would you pay for one night with Robert Redford?’ Gratuitous semi-naked Demi Moore included.

Related: “Stop hitting the button!”

✴️        

Wildland (Kød & blod = Flesh and blood), an uncomfortable and claustrophobic Danish gangster thriller about a 17 year old girl who moves in with the criminal family of Sidse Babett Knudsen, her estranged aunt. 6+/10

“For some people, things go wrong before they even begin”

✴️     

Jim Jarmusch‘s Broken Flowers, a touching road film with Bill Murray, as an old ‘Don Juan’ who receive a pink, unsigned letter from an old lover, letting him know that he has a 20 year old son he never knew about.

Loveliest film of the week.

✴️       

The 2 films directed by Tom Ford:

✳️✳️✳️ A single Man, a sad and lonely gay professor, closeted in 1962 Los Angeles, is preparing to kill himself with a gun, after his boyfriend / love of his life had died in a car accident. Mute and haunting aesthetics in the fashion designer’s debut film, based on a Christopher Isherwood novel.

The ‘Stormy Weather’ dance scene between Charley and George. 8/10

✳️✳️✳️ Nocturnal Animals: Amy Adams is an unhappy owner of a fancy art gallery who receives a disturbing book manuscript written by her ex-husband, which symbolizes their relationship 20 years prior. Rarefied visuals and distinctive style.

Starts with an astonishing scene of obese old ladies dancing naked at Amy’s gala event. Michael Shannon rules as a dying Texas detective! 6+/10.

✴️        

Jean Vigo’s 1933 classic Zero for Conduct was so blatantly anarchistic, it was immediately banned in France until after WW2. In silent film style, it tells about a group of mischievous kids who rebel against the authorities of their old-fashioned boarding school. Part-inspiration for Truffaut's 400 Blows.

✴️      

Anatomy of a murder, Otto Preminger’s 1960 courtroom drama, with opening credits by Saul Bass. Crisp black & white cinematography, and with rape victim Lee Remick playing it as an outgoing loose girl of ambiguous morals, a modern floozy. 7/10.

✴️                

Blush, a wondrous, spectacularly-animated, wordless short by Joe Mateo. What starts as a riff on ‘The Little Prince’, ends up like the opening montage from ‘Up’. The obvious realization that this is a personal metaphor makes the story even deeper.

I watched it twice back to back. 10/10

✴️       

If You're Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast - 95 year old Carl Reiner asks a bunch of charming nonagenarian friends how they manage to live so well for so long. Their answers may (not) shock you...

Spry Dick Van Dyke (92) and half-his-age wife end the film with a lovely rendition of “Young at heart”

✴️            

Hi-school-level adaptation of Thomas Piketty's book Capital in the 21st Century. A breezy discussion of how slave economy and colonialist military repression 300 years ago turn into extreme capitalism of inequality & tax-avoidance today. America is now similar economically to what England was in the early 1800s. A tiny percentage of society controls almost all its wealth. (Full text of the book here).

✴️            

Ride the eagle, a flat new indie about a guy whose estranged hippy mother leaves him her cabin at the lake when she dies, but only if he complete a certain list of tasks. Could be so much better, but the actor playing the guy was just so terrible. Unlike JK Simmons who had a small role. Best detail, when he discovers that all the cabinets in the house are full with pot.

✴️       

Old, my first, (and possibly last), M. Night Shyamalan. The seductive premise of a secluded beach at a fancy tropical resort that ages everybody who comes there, turns into an unconvincing Twilight Zone bore.

...”(Gurgling sounds)”...

✴️      

First watch: I never saw (any) Planet of the apes before, and in spite of my misgivings, gave it a go. 100% anthropomorphic, it couldn’t visualize a universe different from the American mindset of that period. Preachy and very Rod Sterling-like. "It's a madhouse in here”. Pass!

✴️         

The latest Veritasium YouTube video about bowling current technology. Always interesting.

- - - - -

Throw-back to the art project:

Planet of the Apes Adora. 

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

[livsoulsecrets]

Kit Herondale Fic - Am I Enough?

Summary: Kit wonders if he has what it takes to be the big brother Mina deserves and goes to Alec for some advice, which proves to be really useful.

-

It was funny, Kit thought as he got up from Magnus’ fancy couch, leaving his parents happily chatting with Jace as he retold some of his favorite memories with Alec. Everyone saw Jace as this untouchable hero, an example of glory and fierceness, even Jace himself thought that, Kit was certain, but nobody was more worth of admiration to Jace than Alec, that much was clear in the way he looked at his parabatai for affirmation every time he spoke in public, the anchoring hand he would always lay on Alec’s shoulder before battle and the softness of the words whispered between them.  

Alec was Jace’s hero in every sense of the world. Alec was everything Kit hoped he could be to Mina, little Mina that would hang on to his finger like her life depended on it, who would smile at him every time he picked her up, Mina, who he would die for and live for and do anything and everything for. His light and wild rose, she was so much more than he deserved, but Kit was determined to be exactly who she needed.  

That determination is what kept Kit going as he walked into Magnus and Alec’s kitchen, finding the Consul of the Shadowhunters, the highest authority of their people, one of their most skilled and wisest members, with glitter all over his hair and a well-intended, but still tragically messy rainbow on his cheek, courtesy of his son, Rafael, who looked quite proud of himself.  

— Yes, now you are ready for the party! — Rafe announces, putting the paint-brush down.  

— Thank you for that, I am sure I look... — Alec stops, looking over to Kit, noticing his presence. — Interesting? — He completes, hesitant.  

— That is one way to put it. — Kit answers, barely containing a laugh.  

— He looks gay! — Rafael says, fiercely, crossing his arms.  

— I look what now? — Alec asks, confused, but still entertained.  

— You heard the kid. — Kit is laughing now, not being able to help it.  

— Gay, dad. Papa told me gay means happy as well! He said you would be gay twice if I made you happy on your birthday! — Rafael explains, looking offended his point wasn’t understood. — I know how much you like my drawings, so I made you a gay one, like the flag we bought last week. — Kit feels like he is intruding a lovely family moment, but he is too touched by Rafe’s dedication to miss the scene. Alec smiles and bows down to kiss his son’s forehead.  

— Gracias, hijo. — He says, messing his hair up in sequence. — I do love your drawings and I love you even more. — Rafe smiles back to his dad, pleased with himself. He gets off the table, where he was sitting to be able to paint his dad’s face, and runs to the living room.  

— He is adorable, you know. — Kit says and Alec smirks.  

— Yeah, he really is. I’m lucky. — Alec’s words are simple and direct, like many things about him are, but they stick with Kit. Before he met his family, he used to think love was a complicated, painful and disastrous thing, like what his dad seemed to feel for his mom and for Kit himself, like the lies and betrayal he saw in the Shadow Market, like the tricks he pulled as well. It was only after getting to know Tessa and Jem that Kit noticed love was quite simple, that good, real love was calm and peaceful and felt like home. The trust and the care he learned from them made Kit understand that loving somebody is not about the big gestures and dramatic moves, it is about knowing someone inside out and still staying, not because you desperately needed them, but because you desperately wanted them.  

Alec’s love for his family was a lot like the one Jem and Tessa had, the love they shared with Mina and Kit. That is what prompted Kit to come after Alec today, seeking some guidance in how to present this very same type of love to his little sister.  

— Alec, could I ask you something? I know it is your birthday and I don’t want to bother you, but I promise it will be fast-  

— Kit, just ask it. You’re not bothering me. — Alec cuts his rambling off and Kit is grateful for that, not even understanding why he is so nervous. Ever since he moved in with Tessa and Jem, he had met Alec many times and grew quite close with his family as well, since Tessa was one of Magnus’ oldest friends. If there was one thing he knew, it was that Alec could never be anything other than kind towards him.  

— Okay, sure. Good. — He answers, eyes casting down. — This is probably a weird question, but... How did you make sure you were the brother your siblings needed? Because, honestly, Jace and Izzy adore you and it seems so effortless to you that it blows my mind. I have known Mina her whole life, which is not much, you know? She is only one. But, for her, it is a lot of time! Still, I don’t know what I’m doing.  I feel like- By the Angel, like she needs so much more than I can give her. That is insane, I get it, her favorite word at the moment is poop and she adores to scream it at the top of her lungs every time we’re out, of course she doesn’t have great expectations right now, but she  will someday and I don’t think I will be able to be who she needs me to be. Will I even deserve all the trust she puts in me? All the love she gives me? Will I even-  

— Kit, stop. — Alec firmly demands and Kit is so shocked by the action that he finally turns to look at him. It is quite astonishing to find a sly smile on Alec’s lips. — Just stop, okay? You’re overthinking away too much, trust me: I have been there. It was never effortless to me, quite the opposite. I spent most of my life doubting I could be the right person to keep my siblings safe. When Max-  

He stops, swallows dryly, seeming to gather himself for what he is about to say before speaking again.  

— When Max died, I was destroyed. I felt like I failed him. Somedays I still do, so does Izzy, so does Jace. Still, I know Max would never think that of us, he knows Sebastian is the only one to blame for what happened. —  His expression softens for a moment and Kit hopes he didn’t bring out any hard memories on such a happy day. — What I’m trying to say is that you will never feel like you’re enough or like you know what you’re doing, it will always be hard and the idea of letting Mina down will always be scary. There is no running away from that.  

— So, I will just feel this terrified forever? — He is well aware of how disturbed he sounds, but can’t help it when Alec just dropped this bomb on him.  

— No, not if you learn one little thing, that took me many years to understand. — Alec’s voice is soft now; the tone Kit only ever saw him use around his family.  

— And what is that?  

— Mina already thinks you’re the everything she needs. She already thinks you deserve all the love and trust she gives to you. You know why? — Alec questioned and Kit just stared blankly at him, not knowing what to say. — Because, every single day, you get up and choose to try your best to make her happy and keep her safe. That is all she needs from you: to never stop trying. She doesn’t want you to drive yourself crazy or sacrifice anything for her. I once thought the same, I was sure I could never be myself or be happy, if I wanted my siblings to be proud of me. I thought that was the only way I could protect them. Angel, how I was wrong. All they ever wanted was for me to be exactly who I am. — He glares at Jace laughing loudly in the living room, Izzy rolling her eyes at him, but still smiling softly at her brother shortly after, and something shifts inside of Kit.  

That is what he wants for his and Mina’s future. He wants her to laugh at him until they are both out of breath, he wants her look at him with the just right combination of exasperation and affection, to still grab his hand when she is scared and run to his arms when she is happy.  

— So... You are saying that I should just be myself? — Kit queries and Alec nods, as if he just asked him if the sky was blue.  

— Yes, as cheesy as it sounds, just keep doing what you’re doing and I’m sure you will be fine.  

— But what if who I am is not enough, Alec? — His voice cracks and he hates how obvious his uncertainty is, but Alec doesn’t shudder.  

— Kit, you are more than enough. The fact you even question it already shows you are, that is why you care so much. Still, I know, better than most, that I can’t be the one to tell you that. Any words will fall flat if you don’t believe in it. Look, I wouldn’t worry too much about Mina if I were you. She already adores you. Maybe just focus on believing in yourself, make sure you see why she does. Do that, kid, and I can assure you all these doubts will vanish. — He lays a hand in his shoulder and squeezes it, dropping it shortly after.  

— That was really... Wise. — Kit blurted out, trying to absorb what he just heard.  

— Don’t sound so surprised. — Alec jokes and Kit can’t help but fell an overwhelming sense of gratitude settling in his chest.  

— Thank you for saying all of that. It really helped, like, you have no idea how much. — Kit thanked him; glad he had gone to Alec with his questions.  

— You’re welcome. — He calmly responded, just as Izzy entered the kitchen with an empty glass.

— Alec, where do you keep the wine? Because I’m sure Magnus is hiding the good stuff from me! — She claims, coming to rest against the door way.  

— If I told you where he keeps it, I will probably have divorce files on my desk by morning. — Alec playfully provokes his sister, that just waves his concern away with a hand.  

— Fine, for the sake of your marriage, I will just have you ask him for me. — Then, upon realizing Alec’s lack of interest in the idea, she pouts, moving to hang on Alec’s shoulder. — Please? — He looks down at her and sighs.  

— As you please. — She claps in excitement and kisses him in the cheek.  

— I’ll be waiting! — Izzy announces, before leaving the kitchen.  

— Are you good? — Alec asks Kit once his sister disappears into the living room.  

— I will be. — Kit answers and he is only half faking the confidence in his voice, so he takes that as a win.  

— Yeah, you will. — Alec confirms as he walks away, Kit on his tow. He drops himself back in the couch, deep in thought. He is startled when a tiny hand grabs his left leg. Once Kit looks down, he finds Mina holding on tight to him to push herself up. He smiles down at her as she stands, her grip on Kit so strong he wonders if that is some sort of Shadowhunter-Warlock baby superpower.

— Min-Min, you are getting though. — He proudly states. Mina giggles, as if she understands what he’s saying and puts both of her hands up, a common indication she wants to be picked up by him.  

Kit gladly does so, placing his sister in his lap. She wiggles her little feet up as she rests her head against his chest, one of her hands coming to grip the collar of his shirt. She must probably be tired, her nap time coming up, but Kit tells himself he’ll soon put her down in Rafe’s bed like Magnus offered, even though he knows he most likely won’t. He holds her against his heart as she dozes off, feeling her hand relaxing the grip in order to rest against his heart, her five little perfect fingers going up and down with every heartbeat beneath them.  

In that moment, he’s absolutely sure they’ll be just fine, not because he’s perfect or sure he will never make mistakes, but simply because he loves her away too much to be anything other than his very best self.  

[superheroesofbothuniverses]

An Enchanted Evening(Wintershock)

“I hear Pepper and Tony are throwing another Disney bash. You excited?”

Darcy looked up from her laptop as Clint stuck his head in her office to deliver the news. It never failed, if something interesting was happening, he’d be stopping by to discuss it. He was worse than her great aunts when it came to gossip, Darcy thought fondly.

“Yeah, but I’ll have to find a date. I don’t wanna be Giselle without a Robert, unless I can get Jane to go with me. She loves going as the evil queen.”

Clint looked confused.

“I thought you and Barnes were an item. I see you together all the time, looking all cozy.”

“Appearances can be deceiving, Clint,” Darcy sighed. “He doesn’t seem to want anything more than friendship right now. But he is pretty great at the whole friend thing.”

“If he did want more, would you go out with him?” Clint pressed, watching her searchingly.

“Totally,” Darcy admitted, knowing better than to lie to him. “But don’t you dare interfere and ruin this for me. I don’t want to push him away after how long it took me to get him to warm up to me.”

Bucky had been very skittish when he’d first arrived and Darcy tried the technique she’d used when befriending neighborhood feral cats: kept her distance while offering friendly greetings and looking as non-threatening as possible, left plentiful treats around, and cracked ridiculous jokes in his hearing in hopes of earning a smile. It had taken several months, but Darcy succeeded in Operation Befriend Bucky.

“Who are you and Laura going to go as?” Darcy inquired, trying to change the subject.

Clint grinned. “OutlawQueen, of course,” he supplied.

“Oooh. Going with the Once Upon A Time ship. It’s perfect,” Darcy admired. “Can’t wait to see it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a lot of work to do if I’m going to be able to afford the dress I’ve got my eye on.”

“Just so long as you show up,” Clint relented. “See ya, Doc.”

With a wink, Hawkeye made himself scarce and Darcy returned to her work, trying not to picture Bucky dressed as a Disney prince.

Bucky had just finished an intense workout and was trash talking Steve in a way only a best friend could get away with when his long suffering friend decided to turn the tables on him.

“So I hear you’re the only one who hasn’t RSVP’d for the big disney ball,” Steve commented. “Thought you would be going with Darcy.”

“How many times do I have to tell you we’re just friends?” Bucky sighed.

Steve gave him a look of utter disbelief and sighed.

“Still in denial. But you do know you can accompany her as a friend, right?”

“And have to hear you lot gossiping even more? No thanks,” Bucky muttered, even as he really wished he had the guts to ask Darcy. Despite what he’d told Steve, Bucky was very interested in the new astrophysicist in a definite more-than-friends way, but so far, he hadn’t seen any signs that she shared this interest, so he’d stayed quiet rather than ruin one of the best friendships he’d made in his post-Hydra life.

Steve just smiled knowingly at him.

“If you change your mind, Darcy is going as Giselle from Enchanted. Nat told me yesterday. They’re going shopping for dresses tomorrow.”

“Never heard of her,” Bucky muttered, splitting off from Steve to take the stairs to his floor. The next evening, a Blu-ray of Enchanted had appeared on his coffee table. Bucky turned up his nose, but Natasha’s commanding note had him sighing and watching the movie anyway.

Despite the typical Disney cheesiness, Bucky found himself enjoying himself and actually laughing a few times at the antics of the ridiculously over the top Prince Edward. Robert seemed a more realistic hero for once and he found himself sympathizing with the man. Bucky was pretty sure there wasn’t going to be a happily ever after for himself, either.

After the movie ended, he sat and thought for a while, then called Natasha.

Darcy bought her dress, shoes, and jewelry, happily spending way more than she normally would thanks to her long hours and careful saving up for the day. The wine colored fit-and flare dress looked amazing on her and the skirt swirled in a very satisfying manner when she turned around.

“You’re going to be turning heads tonight,” Natasha commented as they hauled their purchases home. “Especially a certain someone.”

She wiggled her eyebrows and Darcy sighed.

“Whatever you say. I have no comment,” she said rather stiffly.

Natasha laughed.

“You say that now,” she said.

In the end, Darcy went by herself to the ball, having chickened out about asking Bucky, which she was already kicking herself for. Oh, well. At least she looked fabulous in her dress that looked just like the one Amy Adams wore for the dance.

She perked up a bit when she got to the fancy ballroom Tony had rented and met the rest of the Avengers in full costume. Sure enough, Clint and Laura were Robin Hood and Regina and looked amazing. Tony and Pepper were Captain Hook and Emma Swan.

“Aren’t you a little grey to be Captain Hook?” Darcy teased him. “But that’s a nice costume.”

“Hook’s a lot older than he looks,” Tony replied, waving his fake hook hand around.

Natasha and Steve were Ariel and Eric, which was an unexpected choice, but Nat looked great in her slinky, iridescent turquoise dress and Steve was a fabulous prince. Sharon and Sam were Rapunzel and Flynn Rider and Wanda was Princess Elsa, complete with a gorgeous icy blue dress and fabulous blonde wig. Thor strode around dressed like Hercules and Darcy hung out with him for a few minutes, exchanging small talk.

“Are you also unaccompanied, Darcy?” Thor asked.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “But I’m hanging out with friends and feeling fabulous, so I’ll be alright,” she assured him.

She completely forgot what she’d planned on saying next because Bucky Barnes arrived and was looking so gorgeous, she found she couldn’t breathe.

Bucky, feeling stiff and awkward in his fancy costume, was keeping his eyes peeled for Darcy, even as he greeted Steve, Nat, and Sam, all of whom seemed very surprised, but pleased to see him.

“She’s over by Thor,” Nat whispered helpfully and Bucky looked where she indicated and felt his heart skip several beats and his mouth go dry.

Darcy was looking incredibly gorgeous in a dress like the one from the movie, which was a simple design, but very flattering on her. She’d left her dark hair down and had simple silvery earrings that sparkled in the light from the massive overhead chandeliers.

In this moment, Bucky knew he was a goner. These were NOT platonic friendly reactions he was experiencing right now. Not at all. She locked eyes with him and her own widened, and she full on smiled at him, which propelled him towards her, now oblivious to everyone else in the room.

Darcy swallowed nervously as Bucky approached, looking stunning in an embroidered dark blue jacket clearly meant to replicate Robert’s costume from Enchanted. He’d pulled his hair back into a small ponytail and it only added to the appeal.

“Hi,” she said softly, giving him a smile.

“Hi,” he answered back, looking at her in a way that made her feel downright giddy.

“Wow. Darcy, you look beautiful,” he told her, sincerity oozing from his voice.

“Why thank you,” she replied, trying to resist the urge to fan herself. “You’re looking pretty fabulous yourself. I’d say what a happy coincidence we picked the same movie, but I know our meddling friends better than that.”

Bucky grinned at her.

“Yep. And I have to tell them they were right later.”

“Right about what?” Darcy asked, knowing what the answer was but wanting to hear him say it.

“That I’ve got it bad for you, doll. I didn’t think you felt the same way, so I’ve been trying to ignore it, but I don’t think that’s possible anymore.”

The way he was looking at her was giving Darcy tingles all over and she took a step close to him.

“We’re a couple of fail boats then, because I’ve been feeling the same way, and was also convinced I was stuck in the friend zone,” Darcy admitted. “All our friends could see it, but we sure were oblivious.”

“We were. As a trained spy, I should be embarrassed, but I’m just happy,” Bucky told her. “Wanna dance?”

“Gladly, handsome,” she told him. “I heard you’re very talented in that department.”

Bucky flushed a bit, but shrugged.

“People exaggerate, but I did enjoy it back in the day. Let’s hope I’m not too rusty.”

If Bucky was rusty, Darcy certainly couldn’t tell because she was enjoying herself too much. She’d never danced with a guy who could lead as well as he could and it was glorious. Looking into his blue eyes, she couldn’t help but flush at the expression in them and wondered if she looked equally smitten.

Bucky was thinking about how perfectly they fit together and how her eyes were downright sparkling. That look she was giving him was downright dangerous and he never wanted this moment to end.

They ended up dancing through three more songs before Darcy pulled him away from the party.

“Tired already?” He asked teasingly.

“Bucky Barnes, you’d better kiss me right now, or so help me, Thor…..” she threatened playfully, pointing her finger at him. She didn’t have to say it twice. Bucky had been wanting to kiss her for a long time and just like with the dancing, proved to be very skilled.

“That good enough for Ya?” He finally asked.

“It’s a great start,” she whispered as she caught her breath.

Across the room, their friends looked on in amusement and approval.

“Nice work,” Steve told his girlfriend, who was looking very pleased with herself. “I thought you’d have to lock them in a closet or something.”

“Don’t think that wasn’t on the table if they kept being oblivious or Barnes refused to show up tonight,” Natasha admitted. “And I used to think YOU were the stubborn one.”

Steve laughed.

“You’re my favorite Disney prince, Bucky Barnes,” Darcy told him as they swayed together to a slow song.

“Just don’t expect me to sing or talk to chipmunks,” he muttered playfully. “Gotta draw the line somewhere.”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 279: Here Comes the Airplane

Previously on BnHA: Gigantomachia gathered up the rest of the League and headed off to go help Tomura. Also he is now 80 feet tall. The heroes were all, “whoa this guy is really big, we should probably stop him and maybe even devote an entire chapter or two just to that,” and so they sent three whole people after him, which sadly is pretty much the exact sort of strategy I’ve come to expect from them by this point. Anyway so Mt. Lady tried to hold Machia off but kept getting flung aside, and Kamui Woods tried to catch him but was set on fire by Dabi who is just having way too good of a time setting all of the flammable heroes on fire today, and Midnight tried to put him to sleep but Compress threw a bunch of debris at her and so she fell like 80 feet. The chapter ended with Midnight being all “fuck this” and calling Momo, who ordered the rest of the child soldier squad into action as Machia approached. I’m not really sure what they’re gonna do, but I honestly don’t really care, because it’s Momo, and so, YES.

Today on BnHA: U.A.’s first-year hero students, who apparently had nine hours to prepare their battleground instead of the fifteen seconds we had all assumed, launch a complex multi-staged assault which is actually really fucking impressive because these kids are actually awesome. First they pin Machia down in one of Honenuki’s mud pits, and then they take turns making impassioned attempts to take out the other League members chilling out on Machia’s back. Unfortunately none of these attempts work because of Dabi, who’s working overtime while the rest of the League sits around shooting down each other’s escape plans. Basically a lot of stuff gets set on fire, and then the chapter ends with Mt. Lady pinning Machia to the ground while MINA, YES, MINA, charges at him covered in acid like some sort of video game boss that you need some kind of specific item to defeat. DID YOU KNOW YESTERDAY WAS MINA’S BIRTHDAY YOU GUYS. Anyway so this chapter is basically pandemonium from start to finish, and it’s great. It is a RUMPUS, y'all. A STRAIGHT UP HULLABALOO.

IS IT MOMO LOVIN’ HOURS I THINK IT IS, YOU GUYS. ARE YOU EXCITED. I AM EXCITED

but first, the color page we were promised, in celebration of Six Whole Years Of This Bullshit!!

oh god oh god so much to love so little time

some of the rowdier characters are making MULTIPLE APPEARANCES IN THIS SHITSHOW, including Kaminari who appears to be in a record-setting THREE of these! who exactly was taking all of these pictures, and why are they so obsessed with him. also how many of these are going to be used as evidence in the latest Kami Traitor Theory posts and is it too early for me to get mad about it

“WE INVITED ENDEAVOR AND HAWKS TO OUR ‘BEING FANCY ON THE COLOR PAGE’ PARTY, EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE NOT U.A. STUDENTS OR FACULTY. WE JUST FELT LIKE IT.” listen that is fine, y’all don’t have to explain yourselves to me

Mirko however is not here, I assume because if she was, Horikoshi would have forgotten to draw all the rest of the characters again. she’s too powerful

Midnight is so sexy I don’t even ksdfnkl

ALL MIGHT LOOKING HAPPY GIVES ME THE STRENGTH I NEED TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE REST OF THIS WEEK. YOUR SMILE IS THE MVP

Cementoss’s face is the runner-up MVP and one of the greatest things I’ve seen in my life

half the people here seem to be attempting to flirt with whoever is taking the pictures. I am starting to suspect that the culprit is Momo. change my mind

for some reason I am really shocked to see Endeavor getting his drink on. and he’s literally the only one, too

Bakugou’s half-assed I SAID NO PAPARAZZI skills are no match for Tamaki’s legendary “I WILL LITERALLY DIE IF YOU CAPTURE ME ON FILM” abilities

I literally didn’t notice Deku until like three quarters of the page in. he sure does blend right in there

Tokoyami is approximately 97.3% done and ticking EVER CLOSER to full 100% doneness, and when that happens even I can’t tell you what is going to go down

do I even need to mention how sexy Aizawa’s hair is. apparently I do

SERIOUSLY THOUGH CEMENTOSS’S FACE

anyway, so that was nice! NOW ON TO THE MOMOLOVIN’

and we begin with FIRST YEAR CLASS B HONENUKI “MUDMAN” JUZOU just LAYIN’ SOME TRAPS IN THE WOODS, as one does

oh my freaking god Tokage

somehow her quirk didn’t freak me out quite this much the last time we saw her. she is really something. has she always had shark teeth

also WHERE IS MONOMA’S GROUP. I immediately want to know!! is he with the Shouto group? or is there yet ANOTHER student group we don’t know about? what would they even be doing

or did Horikoshi actually get three quarters of the way through writing this arc and then suddenly slap his forehead as he realized that if Monoma just casually copied Machia’s powers he would either DIE IMMEDIATELY or else become SUPER STRONG and also grow 80 feet tall and this would suddenly be a very different battle with the scales tipping decidedly in the heroes’ favor. and so he had to quickly write him out of the battle in this very half-assed way

anyway, so while I ponder that, Tokage is peeking the top of her head out over the trees and staring at Machia who is, you guessed it, still heading right their way! just like he’s been doing pretty much this entire time

and now there’s a whole page of reaction panels you guys. this is why Horikoshi tries to avoid these massive Endgame-style battles with every single hero known to man participating. hopefully we won’t have too many of these. like I mean thank you for the roll call and all but I’d like to get to the action now

Mineta of all people is stealing this entire page with that expression though. he is not fucking around. this is twice in as many chapters that he’s been a page-stealing face-making champ. dare I hope this could be the start of a new niche for him? lord knows it would be so much better than the old niche

also this page is just sweatdrops galore. these kids are so nervous. MANGA GODS PLEASE KEEP THEM SAFE, although I’m honestly not too worried about them compared to the adults. I’m sure I should be, but I just am not

all right so now Momo is explaining what those little canisters are!

okay but someone please explain to me how it is that they had time to stop and lay all of these traps?? not just Honenuki’s, but Mineta’s and what looks like some of Shiozaki’s work as well?? did Machia just STOP MOVING for like five whole minutes all of a sudden for no reason at all? while they were all sitting out here saying things like “with that speed...”? ????? ????????

also lol wtf. “we’re gonna have to make him eat it.” I still have no idea what their plan is, but it’s getting more entertaining by the minute I’ll say that much

okay so Momo says that if they can get him to swallow just one of these, then that should be enough to put him to sleep. oh my god this chapter is going to be AMAZING isn’t it

meanwhile Mineta is worrying about Midnight. I swear to god if they turn this into something where he’s only worried because she’s hot, I will take one of these canisters and shove it right up his...

okay good, Mina’s reassuring him that it’s gonna be okay, and then we’re just cutting to Machia stampeding in with Mt. Lady and Kamui still clinging to him

WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS EVEN DOING

“we’ll just stand here adjacent to him and just kind of watch as he rushes straight at the children.” someone help me, I’m having difficulty finding a synonym for “useless” that carries the full amount of emphasis I want to place on it right now. this requires a degree of language the human race is not yet capable of

OH SNAP

THEY GOT HIM YEAHHHHH

OH DANG, FOR REAL THOUGH!!

ngl, for a brief spiteful moment I was disappointed he hadn’t actually fallen on them :/

and they’re still JUST STANDING THERE, I CAN'T EVEN?? we’re getting to the point where I honestly think actual civilians might have been of more use in this situation

YESSSSS

TIME TO FIND OUT HOW MANY TENTH GRADERS GIGANTOMACHIA CAN TAKE IN A FIGHT

also, sorry to keep harping on this, but the juxtaposition of that earlier panel with all of the fully grown and experienced pros just standing in dumb awe, immediately followed by this panel of BRAVE BUT DETERMINED CHILDREN CHARGING IN AND YELLING “GO GO GO”, is just... it really is something. shit. if I was the HPSC and this was what I had to work with, I too might have seriously considered fudging a few age requirements in hopes of finding someone who could actually get the fucking job done

also what the hell is going on down there with Shishida and Satou and that third person? what are those Blackwhip-looking things?? I’m confused

ohhhhh no

Shiozaki is about to be sent flying through the air courtesy of her own hair vines omg

OH NO WAIT THE THREE TOUGH GUYS ARE STOPPING HIM. AHHH THE LAST ONE WAS KENDOU AHHHH

I still can’t figure out what the hell those are though lol. did Momo make some steel cables?? I feel like Machia would be able to break just about any kind of rope or chain they could concoct just by sheer brute strength alone

ah fuck

DON’T YOU GUYS GO RUINING THIS FOR ME!! THEY’VE GOT A GOOD THING GOING HERE, LET THEM HAVE THEIR FUN!!

although I do appreciate how they’re all “U.A.!!” in kind of this “oh shit, these guys we actually have to worry about” sort of tone lol

this look on Toga’s face is a bit concerning! well but Deku and Ochako aren’t here though, so I wonder who she’s gonna fight if it comes to that. huh

(ETA: seriously, does anyone have any idea what Toga is planning cuz I sure don’t.)

Shouji and Ojiro, who I might remind you are normal people with no enhanced physical abilities aside from extra appendages, appear to have somehow circled all the way around to Machia’s back and are now climbing up oh shit

oh and Aoyama’s there too! -- is Shouji carrying him omg

he’s using him as a human ray gun omggg. this is the most delightful thing I’ve ever witnessed

NOW SOMETHING IS BEING SHOT AT THE LEAGUE AND DABI’S STARING AT IT ALL “>:(” AND I’M PRETTY SURE THIS THING, WHATEVER IT IS, IS ABOUT TO BE SET ON FIRE, LET’S SEE

lds;afksjdl;fkj WERE THOSE JIROU’S EARJACKS??!!

okay you know what fuck you Dabi. you think it’s funny to set a little girl’s ears on fire?! don’t expect any sympathy from me when Aoyama lasers you in the face

WELL I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING BUT THEY’RE SHOOTING WHAT LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF LITTLE TAMBOURINES AT HIM NOW

I ASSUME THEY ARE NOT ACTUALLY TAMBOURINES, BUT I REALLY DON’T KNOW, IT’S NOT LIKE THEY HANDED OUT THE RULE BOOK TO THIS THING AHEAD OF TIME

[HUGE EXAGGERATED GASPING SOUNDS]

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my

OH MY GOD AND YANAGI THREW THEM WITH HER POLTERGEIST QUIRK!??

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS “ACK?!!” IS AND IT’S REALLY BUMMING ME OUT, BECAUSE THIS CAME WITHIN INCHES OF BEING THE COOLEST FUCKING COMBINATION I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!?!?

(ETA: it would have laid them all flat in seconds. Kaminari is to be feared you guys.)

NO!!!!!

it is sincerely frustrating to me watching the League carelessly toss aside all of their painstakingly accumulated goodwill from the MVA arc in the span of just a few short pages. hey Compress, you think it’s cool to hurl a bunch of rocks at my six-and-a-half-year-old son?? I hope someone rips that cool robot arm off and uses it to punch you in the dick

here comes Sero!! and how are you going to die, Sero

what in the

did he just... sneeze them all into space

okay but hear me out, what if Shouda absorbed that impact. SHOUDA YOUR TIME HAS FINALLY COME. CLASS 1-B’S ASCENT TO GLORY

(ETA: watch this space!! Shouda is here for a reason mark my words.)

meanwhile on Machia’s back, Dabi is soliloquying about Machia’s quirk while his arm is doing... something

please forgive me for not being able to drum up any sympathy for poor Dabi’s arms right about now. quit trying to set all my kids on fire

wait whaaaaat lol

so I scrolled back up to the previous page, and... that was fire?? lord help me why am I still so terrible at being able to tell when Horikoshi is drawing fire as opposed to just air randomly whooshing through trees. I have really got to memorize that foossh sound effect

so can Gigantomachia just BREATHE FIRE now?? or was ALL OF THAT Dabi??? if it was the latter then at least he had the decency to wait until all of the kids got blown out of range before setting the whole forest aflame to keep them back. I’ll admit it, that was thoughtful of him as far as villain power moves go

OHO BUT YOU CAN’T COUNT MOMO OUT JUST LIKE THAT!!

AND NOW EVERYTHING AROUND THEM IS EXPLODING AHHHHHH DID YOU GUYS SET LANDMINES, BAKUGOU WOULD BE SO PROUD

once again I have to ask myself exactly how much prep time they had here. Horikoshi would have you think it was mere seconds, but that clearly cannot be the case?? maybe they set some of these up beforehand to catch any stray villains trying to flee the area?

lmao Spinner’s all “wait why doesn’t he just dig his way out”, because apparently Machia can tunnel himself under the ground. but Compress is all “um because we would die” and Spinner is all “oh right”

though I gotta say, it’s not like they’re that much better off as things are now, either. pinned down in the woods surrounded by fire and explosives. definitely a conundrum

oh snap Compress has realized that their presence is holding Machia back. don’t tell me Machia is gonna head off on his own and leave the rest of the League to square off with the kids

YOOOOOO HOLY SHIT THE HEROES ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING

there you go, League! free cannon fodder to get you all pumped and confident again!

DKFJLSDKJ

PLEASE LET THIS BE THE ACTUAL TRANSLATION OH MY GOD. THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE LINE IN ANYTHING AHHHH

“I’m leaving it to you, U.A.’s youngsters!” yeah, you and everyone else. ah well, can’t deny they get the job done

OH MMKJKYYYY GODDDDDDJJK

MINA COATED HERSELF IN ACID AND IS RUNNING AT GIGANTOMACHIA AND IS SHE ALSO ON FIRE??!?! SHE’S JUST RUNNING AT HIM LIKE A BIG OL’ FIERY BLOB???! QUEEN MINA???!! FIRE IS NOT HER WEAKNESS???! MINA??!! IS AIRPLANE?!??!!?!? MINAAAAAAA

holy fucking shit this whole arc is just one big Arc Of Ladies Getting To Do Stuff and I am 1000% living for it. THIS ARC IS MY FAMILY. I WOULD DIE FOR IT AND LEAVE EVERYTHING TO IT IN MY WILL. ahhhhhhhhhh

[fific7]

Your Soul is Mine

Sirius Black x Reader

@omgrachwrites 500 Follower Celebration

Angst prompt 13 : I want all of you - your body, your heart, your soul

Summary: Sirius Black is about to be claimed whether he likes it or not... forever.

Warnings: Swearing, spiking, coercion, jealousy, revenge, mentions of sex so 18+please, slight dom/sub overtones. Age of consent is 16 in the UK, sorry if that’s not in line with your own country’s/state’s laws.

A/N: I do not condone spiking or coercive behaviour but the reader’s a bunny boiler, sorry.

(My GIF)

Y/N Y/L/N was a proud and determined Slytherin. Ambitious, smart as a whip, cunning when she needed to be. And she had a temper. Boy - did she have a temper.

But when it hit, she would never explode. Instead she’d become deathly silent, eyes narrowing, lips pulling into a thin line, thoughts whirring, working out exactly how she would bring retribution down on whichever unfortunate soul caused her outrage.

And that was precisely her current condition. She’d been strolling down to the lake, intent on having a short break from studying Potions when, giving a little gasp of excitement, she’d spotted Sirius Black.

He was lying in the shade under under a tree. But ... not alone. He and a girl were entwined like vines, mouths locked together, her hands running up and into his famed wavy long black hair.

Before the rage ensued, Y/N felt the sudden & excruciating pain of a dagger to the heart.

Only two nights ago, Y/N had been the one entwined with him, that beautiful, awful boy - in his bed, in his arms, totally immersed in his sweet kisses and honeyed lies.

“Hey Y/N, of course you’re not like all the others - you’re so special to me.”

“Of course this isn’t a one-time thing!”

“I really think this is the beginning of something beautiful between us.”

Ah, yes. And, clearly, judging by the evidence staring her in the face, that meant being his fucktoy whenever his busy ‘schedule’ allowed for it. An intolerable position for a prideful Slytherin to be in.

Well, fuck that, Sirius Black. And... fuck you too, Sirius Black, six ways from Sunday.

And to add insult to injury, she was supposed to meet him in the Gryffindor common room the following night, for yet another of the Marauders’ parties.

A plan dropped into her seething brain. Yes. Yes... with a little fancy footwork, that could work. A small smirk formed on her lips.

He wouldn’t know what hit him.

*********************************

Sirius had told her to be outside the Gryffindor common room at 9. She was there promptly, of course.

She laughed to herself as she stood waiting outside it. He didn’t even trust her enough to tell her the stupid bloody password to his stupid bloody common room. Her foot tapped in irritation as the clock slowly ticked to 10 past 9. The freaking idiot can’t even be punctual!

The portrait hole eventually opened to reveal a tipsy Sirius, who looked her up & down before licking his lips and holding out his hand to her, drawing her into the room. He was in his off-duty uniform of vintage jeans, rock band t-shirt & Doc Martens. Still looks too hot for his own good, she thought, instantly annoyed at herself for thinking it.

His fangirls were certainly of the same opinion, she thought sourly, judging by the adoring looks coming his way (peppered with jealous dagger looks at her), as he helped her step through into the common room.

“You look gorgeous, angel,” he said, slurring his words just a little bit.

Her skin-tight emerald green dress, sky-high silver heels and artfully messy up-do were designed to get male attention, and it was working like a charm (ha ha).

Not at all pleased by the admiring glances she was attracting, Sirius huffed as he walked her to the table-serving-as-bar, hand on the small of her back, slyly running it up & down as he did so. He poured her a glass of firewhiskey. She downed it in one, and he burst out laughing.

She shrugged, smirking at him, “What?! I’ve got some catching up to do.” She placed her bejewelled clutch bag on the table, next to the bottles of firewhiskey.

His own glass was empty too, and he reached over to pick up both, but she laid her hand on his bare arm.

“Sirius,” she breathed against his ear, “let me fill that right up for you.” She smirked, “And maybe I’ll let you fill me up later on.”

Predictable response from Sirius, she was pleased to see. He froze, eyes meeting hers, mouth slack. “Uh... right. Right... uh, sweetheart.”

She handed his glass to him and he downed it in one. “Sirius! That’s just greedy,” she chided him.

He laughed out loud. “Let’s dance, love.”

*****************************************

Later, much later, they lay tangled together, naked & exhausted, on his bed.

“That was amazing, sweetness,” he gasped, trying to catch his breath.

“Mmhmm.“ she nodded in agreement. A heartbeat later, “Sirius?”

“Yes, love?”

“Remember how you told me, the first time we were together, that it was the start of something beautiful between us?”

He cleared his throat, “Umm... uhh... yeah?...Yeah.”

“Well... tell me how come I saw you two days later, kissing some mouldy little tart by the lake?”

He tried to sit up, but she pushed his shoulders back down. He held both hands up, palms out in a placatory gesture. “Look, Y/N, that was nothing, it wasn’t my idea, she started it...”

“Oh, and you just gave in, did you?”

“Well, yeah....”

“You know, Sirius, you really should be more careful what you do and what you say to people. I can hardly bear to admit this, but I actually believed what you said, all those lies... all that fucking bullshit.”

“But... Y/N, sweetheart...you know... you know I don’t do...”

“Relationships? Oh, I did hear that once or twice, yes I did, Sirius.” She laughed to herself. “But you should know, I liked to think that I would’ve been the one who finally tamed you - the bad boy. Tied you down, stopped your man-whore ways.”

Her hands on his shoulders kept him pressed down on the mattress. He spotted her placing her wand carefully on the bedside table. What the fuck...??

He was starting to feel really, really dizzy. He broke out in a cold sweat, and Y/N’s voice sounded like it was coming from far, far away, then much closer, then distant again.

He closed and re-opened his eyes, to find hers boring into his, staring intensely at him... did they look, yeah they did look... kind of red? That couldn’t be right. What was happening to him? He shook his head, in an attempt to clear it.

“Well,” she said, “this is your lucky night, sweetheart!” She slowly licked down one side of his neck. He let out a huff of breath.

“You see, I want you, Sirius. And I’m going to have you, it’s as simple as that. And I want all of you, your body, your heart, your soul....!”

His mouth opened, he tried to yell, but no sound came out. He felt invisible tendrils wrapping themselves around him, from neck to toe. Getting tighter and tighter. He couldn’t move and he was starting to gasp for air a little.

“And I’m taking them. All of them, Sirius! ...I’m just gonna take them from you, d’you understand?!”

She shook her head, feigning sorrow & remorse. “You’ve left me no choice, darling, as it’s highly unlikely you’ll give me them of your own free will.” Sirius just stared at her, still not comprehending exactly what was going on.

She trailed a finger down his neck, his chest, his stomach, ran it playfully through his money trail a few times before heading between his legs. She closed her hand over his velvety length, and stroked him firmly a few times. He huffed out some rapid breaths, knowing that he was very quickly getting hard.

“Do you like that, lover?” she purred. He nodded, then quickly shook his head. “Yes or no, which is it, darling?” He nodded again. Why was he incapable of speech, he wondered? Then shook his head again.

Laughing, she said, “I’ve cast a silencing spell on you, by the way - again no choice, sorry, sweetheart! Well, let’s see if this next little number gets you to make a firm decision. Although it’s only a formality, cupcake. Your body - every inch of it - totally belongs to me, after all.”

She leant over, roughly licked his tip, then kissed it lingeringly, before swirling her tongue round it and down his hard length. He writhed under her, still feeling the invisible tentacles curling round him. His head thrashed to & fro on the pillows, desperately trying to ignore the sexual onslaught happening to him, but still unable to.

He froze as he felt her tongue moving slowly & sensually over his balls, then without warning, she grabbed them.

His hips involuntarily hitched upwards. He heard her low laugh, and then she started squeezing, not too hard but still making him totally tense up. She placed her lips against his, kissing him hungrily and forcing her tongue into his mouth. Cupped his cheek, stroking the stubble there and on his chin.

Lips next to his ear, whispering to him.

“I’ve got you by the balls, Sirius, and you will never escape. Never, do you hear me!? “ she smirked in triumph, pulling back to look down at him. She straddled him, knees on either side of his thighs, trapping him even more.

Greedily, she drank in the sight of his handsome face underneath her, silky black hair spread out on the pillow, wide grey eyes staring up at her, long dark lashes resting momentarily on his cheek as he closed them briefly. When he reopened them, she laughed out loud as she saw the lust in them, mixed in with total confusion, he just couldn’t hide it.

She leant closer to him, lips touching his. “You remember how good I am at potions, yeah?”

He nodded, suddenly terrified. He still wasn’t able to speak. She sat back up.

“Well, I cooked up a special little concoction just for you. Slipped it in your firewhiskey earlier. And once I’ve said your name 7 times within 7 minutes, it’s gonna fully kick in ..... and then I’ve got you for eternity.... Sirius!”

Sirius felt the weirdest sensation he’d ever experienced in his life.

He felt as if he and Y/N were melding together. Pulling him up with the sheer power of it. As if his very body, heart & soul were being sucked out of him and being pulled into her body, fixing there permanently in an unbreakable bond.

Then it was over. His body collapsed back onto the mattress. He felt so dizzy...... and weak. So very weak.

Her voice again, whispering, whispering, whispering.

“I possess you now, Sirius. You’re completely and utterly mine, until the end of time.”

********************************************

Sirius quite frankly didn’t know how he’d managed to make it all the way to 16 (almost 17!) without having a steady girlfriend. Now that he’d found Y/N and they were finally together, life was just so wonderful.

He’d bounced downstairs to the Great Hall for breakfast the morning after the party, announcing to the Marauders - and anyone else within earshot - that he’d found the love of his life. To say they were all shocked was an understatement, but Sirius didn’t care. In fact, Sirius seemed almost delirious.

It was in fact Y/N projecting her intense pleasure, through Sirius, at how well her plan had worked out.

All of his moods in future would be hers, but he wouldn’t ever know that.

She’d dug out her Advanced Charms mini-handbook from her clutch bag, after her possession potion had done its work. Pity she couldn’t tell Slughorn about that one - it was truly excellent!

She’d cast a sleeping spell on poor, confused, exhausted Sirius as he lay sprawled on his quilt, and then Obliviated him of everything that happened after leaving the party. She didn’t know the spell that well, as it wasn’t one she’d needed before now, and still had to read up on the details before she cast it.

Y/N had left a note on his pillow, which he’d eagerly grabbed as soon as he awoke. Ah, she’d just nipped down to her own dorm for a nice relaxing shower. He sighed happily, snuggling back under the quilt. His girlfriend, his lover, his soulmate. He loved her so very much.

(What he didn’t know was that Y/N was totally shattered after her little excursion into the Dark Arts. She ducked out of classes for that whole day. But she still had no regrets whatsoever. As she drifted off into a dreamless sleep, she chortled to herself, guessing that Muggle psychiatrists would probably deem her to be a sociopath. At the very least.)

Sirius almost felt like there was a telepathic link between the two of them. Amazing! Any time he even looked at another girl, Y/N’s face would appear unbidden in front of his eyes.

Her sultry, soothing, controlling voice would reverberate in his head, “Now, now, Sirius, down, boy! Remember who you belong to, yeah? ... I’m the only one who gets to touch you. Good boy, good boy!!” and he would feel the immediate need to run off and find her. Which he usually did, unless he was in class.

Whenever he did find her, she’d immediately demand sex from him. She made him strip in front of her. He would willingly peel off his clothes, as she lay back & watched him reveal that slim & athletic body she adored. She made him have sex in every single position she could imagine. Tied him to the bed all night, sometimes. “C’mon, Sirius! sex all night!” she’d order, like an Army Sergeant Major.

He felt compelled to obey her. Until he was so exhausted that by the morning light, he could hardly walk. He didn’t really mind the sleepless nights and jelly legs. Well, he couldn’t disappoint his darling girlfriend, could he?

She would smirk and run her hands through his hair, the same way that tart by the lake had. Not any more, love - sorry. Not sorry. In the least. Y/N would murmur his name and praise his prowess.

Funnily enough, the ‘girl from the lake’ had come looking for him, two days after the party. Y/N felt like that was poetic justice. She’d been suggesting another ‘interlude’ by the water. Sirius told her he didn’t know A) who she was and B) what she was talking about.

She didn’t notice Y/N lounging on the sofa behind Sirius, advanced charms book laying open at the O’s, smirking with wand in hand. The girl burst into tears and ran off, never to return. Y/N smiled so broadly, her face hurt.

She sometimes wondered if she loved him. She wasn’t sure, and didn’t really care, to be honest. She was totally obsessed with him, she knew that. And she owned him. Every piece of him. That was more than enough for her.

His fangirls were all broken-hearted; they were forever going to be out of luck in future.

His friends laughed at him, saying he was just so whipped.

Anytime she saw the grieving fangirls, or overheard his friends’ comments, a small, self-satisfied smile would appear on Y/N’s face. She’d sigh happily, and go back to her Potions essay.

**********************************************************

[just-my-sickly-pride]

The Night Comes Down || Brian May x fem!Reader x Roger Taylor

summary || one of the first rules you’d ever made with brian, your friends-with-benefits, eight months ago, was that anyone could back out of the arrangement at any time, for whatever reason, and then everything would go back to normal. back to how it was. and that’s fine. you have no problem with that. you’re fine. you’re so fine. it’s... fine.

rating || no smut, but some implied explicit content. warning: there is a brief scene where reader is being heavily pressured into kissing someone at a party.

word count || 9.7k

author’s notes || all good things must come to an end! so i’ve been working on this series for over a year. how did that even happen?? anyway yes this is the end of the try series. no it’s not a happy ending. i debated back and forth for a long time whether to end the series or not, but it felt too weird not to. and i couldn’t figure out any reasonable ‘happy’ way for it to end. a big big big thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me for this entire journey, or part of this journey, or even if you’re just tuning in now - thank you! and if you’re still somehow invested in this little ’verse after all this time, don’t abandon me just yet 👀 p.s. i think i’ve ironed out most of the timeline issues but don’t look too closely. this series is not my proudest in terms of continuity

masterlist

tag list: @the-huttslayer​ @scorpiogemini @redspecialty​ @supersonicfreddie​ @killer-queen-xo​ @a-night-at-the-0pera​ @rogerscupboard​

     Part of you had known it was inevitable. Another part of you liked to pretend that it wasn’t. But it was.

    It still felt like it had come out of nowhere, though.

    Brian was watching you cautiously, adjusting the grip on his laptop and workbook. “Did you… want to say anything, or…?”

    “Um…” You blinked a couple times, and shook your head. “Uh, no, I’m just… surprised?”

    “I feel like I’ve mentioned her a few times,” Brian said.

    “Once or twice, maybe,” you said. “I didn’t know that you and her…”

    “Yeah.” Brian scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, we hooked up, like, two weeks ago, and then again a few nights ago, and we’ve been talking every day, so.”

    “Oh.” It sounded twisted, wonky, but you forced a smile onto your face, wondering why you felt so… uncomfortable hearing about this. “That’s great. And you like her?”

    “Yeah, I really do,” Brian said, and his voice sounded warm, and he had a little smile on his face, and something ugly and strange twisted in your gut. “And I want to take her on an actual date, but obviously, I’d feel a bit weird about it if I still had, y’know. A, uh, side arrangement. But you’re all right?”

    “Of course,” you said brightly. Side arrangement. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? That’s great, Brian, really. I’m – really glad you’ve found someone.”

    “It’s been a while, that’s for sure,” Brian said with a chuckle.

    “Are you going to tell Rog?”

    Brian frowned a little. “Um, no, I don’t think that’s necessary. I never had – anything with him. And he’s already met Dani, so.”

    “Oh!” Ah, Christ, that had sounded dreadful, even to your own ears. “Where– Where’d he meet her?”

    “The other day.” Brian gave you a sheepish smile. “The morning after. She ran into him in the kitchen.”

    You pushed a strained laugh out of you. “Oh, right, yeah, great.”

    Brian chuckled as well. “Yeah, it was a little awkward, but what can you do, right?”

    You swallowed, and nodded. Your face hurt from smiling.

    “You’ll love her,” Brian said. “She’s wonderful. She’s so smart, and funny, and she’s so pretty. I mean, so pretty. Absolutely beautiful. Completely knocked my socks off when I first saw her. Can’t believe she fancies me.”

    “Great,” you said. You were saying great too much. “She sounds–” Don’t. “–so great.”

    “She is.” Brian beamed. “You’ll have to meet her soon.”

    “I’m sure I will,” you said.

    “Yeah, I’m sure,” Brian said. He sighed happily. “Well, I should head off.”

    “Yeah, course,” you said. “Me too.”

    “I’ll message you,” Brian said. “We can arrange a dinner at the flat or something.”

    “Can’t wait!”

    Brian smiled, nodded in satisfaction, and then said, “All right, see you later.”

    “Bye!” You turned around and hurried away, in the opposite direction you needed to go.

    Hmm. Huh. Right. Okay. So. Brian just. He just.

    You went to the food court and sat down at the first available seat you could find.

    You took out your phone and immediately went to message Veronica.

    Brian just

    Your thumbs paused.

    He just what? He just found someone he wanted to date, and ended his arrangement with you. On paper, not that big of a deal. It was part of the unwritten contract of it all: any person was allowed to end things for whatever reason, and there would be no consequences. A rule you had written yourself, all those months ago.

    Side arrangement. Side piece. Dirty secret. Not as good as the real thing. Not as funny or smart or pretty or wonderful or beautiful as Danielle.

    You froze. Whoa, where had that come from?

    You weren’t jealous. You couldn’t have been jealous. You’d never wanted to date Brian. You still didn’t want to date Brian. You didn’t have a crush on him, and you never had. Brian didn’t break up with you.

    So what the everloving fuck was going on in your head right now?

    You put your phone away. Nope, you couldn’t go crying to Veronica for no damn reason. This had always been bound to happen, and now it had, so you just needed an hour or so to process it, and then things would be fine. You’d go back to normal.

-

    Your idea of ‘normal’ seemed to greatly differ from Brian’s.

     You didn’t hear from him for a week. Whereas before you’d talked every other day, he went almost totally radio silent. Every meme or message you sent was either seen and ignored, or responded to with a vague Haha or a thumbs-up.

    You met up with Roger on your usual catch-up night, but you hadn’t gotten very far into anything before he stopped and said, “You’re not really feeling it, are you?”

    You made a face. “Sorry.”

    “It’s fine.” He passed your shirt to you, and he fetched his from the floor and slipped it on. “So… Brian has a date tomorrow night.”

    You frowned. “He does?”

    Roger nodded. “Yeah, he didn’t tell you about it?”

    You looked down at your hands. “Um, no. He didn’t. I haven’t heard much from him, actually. After he… ended… things.”

    “Whoa,” Roger said, climbing onto the bed. “Wait, really? With you?”

    You nodded, and suddenly felt your throat close over. But you were not going to fucking cry about it, Jesus Christ. You swallowed it down, and gave Roger a mild look of interest. “Yeah. I didn’t even know he liked Dani, and then I ran into him at uni last week, and he just sort of said, ‘Hey, while I’m here,’ and then that was it. But I didn’t know the date was tomorrow night. He didn’t tell me.”

    “I’m sure he was just distracted,” Roger said. “He gets like that with a girl he likes.” He shook his head. “Damn, he must be serious about her.”

    “Yeah, must be.”

    Roger paused, and then said, “Are you… okay?”

    You shrugged. “Yeah, of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

    “I dunno, it’s a pretty big… thing to have ended.”

    “No, I’m fine,” you said lightly, giving him a smile. “We’re still friends. And I’ve still got you, right?”

    “Yeah,” Roger said, although he didn’t sound entirely convinced.

    “Yeah. So I’m good.” You sighed, willing away all the gross mess of emotions you were feeling. “I’m not really feeling going all the way, but making out sounds good, if you’re down.”

    Luckily, that immediately distracted Roger, and he didn’t ask any further questions. And you poured everything you had into your kisses, hoping it would distract you, too.

-

    You were hoping things would settle down for you, emotionally, over the next two weeks or so.

    But that didn’t happen. Everything grew to be so much worse. Exponentially. You didn’t know whether you hated Brian, or Dani, or hated them as a couple, or if you just hated yourself. You couldn’t bear to be in the same room as the two of them, and you hadn’t spoken more than ten words to Dani. The thought of trying to be friends with her turned your stomach. She wasn’t particularly annoying, and she wasn’t a bad person in any way, but just something about her face and her voice and her fucking presence in your life just infuriated you.

    You couldn’t get the idea out of your head that she looked like a mouse. Or a rat. Small pointy nose, big dark eyes, slight buck teeth. She was curvy, and at least a foot shorter than Brian, although it was hard to tell with the heels and platforms she always wore. Her hair was browny-blonde and long and thick, and she wore it slicked back in a pony, like Ariana Grande. Her ears glittered with delicate piercings. She liked to draw on freckles.

    She was pretty. For a rat.

    You did your best to hide how you felt about her. You thought you should’ve gotten a freaking Oscar for how well you hid it. At least from Brian. On the rare occasion that Dani wasn’t by his side, you let him talk about her, and did your best to seem encouraging.

    There was a part of you – a bigger part than you wanted to admit – that believed they were going to break up soon enough. Then things could go back to normal, and this weird hiccup could be forgotten.

    But they didn’t break up. They stayed together.

    And so you ended up ranting about it all to Veronica. You knew you were really going on about it, and somehow you kept finding things to say about the situation when you knew there was nothing really more to say. Veronica listened, to a degree. But her advice was sensible and responsible and mature and you really didn’t feel like being any of those things. You wanted to throw a goddamn tantrum.

    So you turned to Roger. Thank God for his high sex drive.

    He wasn’t completely clueless. You had an air of desperation about you that you knew he could sense, and knowing that was almost enough to make you draw away from him, too.

    Almost. But he always took such good care of you. It was selfish to keep asking him to meet up, but you felt like you would explode if you didn’t.

    About a month after Brian and Dani had started dating, you and Roger were making out on the couch. It was rough, as sex frequently had been these past few weeks, and Roger’s grip on your waist was bruising as you rocked against him. Things were moments away from moving to the bedroom, when the front door opened unexpectedly.

    You quickly looked up, a deer in headlights, and your stomach dropped.

    “Oh, sorry,” Brian mumbled, ducking his head.

    “No, it’s fine,” you said, and you’d tried to go for nonchalant, but your voice came out too sharp.

    Roger tilted his head back. “Hi.”

    “Hi,” Brian said. You watched as he kicked his shoes off and chucked his keys on the kitchen table.

    “Sorry,” he said again, shooting you a quick glance. “I’ll just, uh…”

    He hurried to his room.

    There you were, looking already thoroughly debauched, on his couch, in Roger’s lap, and Brian had just ducked his head and ran.

    You stared after him, your heart twisting around itself. He hadn’t even… He didn’t…

    Once, he would have taken one look at you and pounced on you. He would’ve begged to kiss you, would’ve torn your clothes off.

    Now, he acted like he’d walked in on Roger having a one-night stand with some girl he’d picked up at a bar. He acted like he’d never even been attracted to you at all.

    Was it really so easy for him to move on? Were you really that forgettable?

    “You all right?” Roger asked, his thumb touching your bottom lip.

    You snapped to look at him. Shit, how much had you let on? “Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Just lost in my thoughts, nothing important.”

    “You sure?” Roger asked.

    You bit your lip and nodded. “Mm-hm. How about you take me to your room and fuck all those stupid little thoughts out of me?”

    Roger paused for a moment, like he wanted to say something more, but your tongue darted out, lapping at the pad of his thumb, and you kept your eyes on his as you licked his thumb into your mouth. You watched, half excited, half relieved, as his eyes glazed over, his gaze fixated on your lips around his thumb.

     It sickened you to even think about it, but you definitely had a little voice in the back of your head that hoped Brian could hear Roger fucking you.

-

    “We should hang out,” you said to Brian. Just over a month, now. Final exams were breathing down everyone’s necks. It didn’t help your situation. “I feel like I never get to see you anymore. You’re with your girlfriend all the time.”

    You’d run into him at uni. That was almost the only way you got to see him these days. And he no longer hugged you hello or goodbye, just kept a firm, amicable amount of distance between you.

    He didn’t often look you in the eye these days, either. He shifted about whenever you talked, like he wanted to be somewhere else.

    “Mm, yeah, maybe,” he said.

    You swallowed down the hurt. “How about a movie night? Or we could just hang out, just the two of us.”

��   “Um.” Brian scratched his nose. “I’m pretty busy at the moment. Maybe we could do a group thing? That’d be fun. Me and Dani, John and Veronica, you and Rog.”

    You frowned. “Me and Rog?”

    “Yeah.”

    “We’re not together.”

    Brian shrugged. “I just thought– Well, I think it’d be nice. You two suit each other.”

    “We don’t want to be a couple, Brian. What are you on about?”

    “I just think it’d be good for you, that’s all. Being in a relationship is, well, really nice, and I think maybe you and Rog should at least give it a go.”

    You were gobsmacked. You wanted to throw something, yell a stern reminder of, Hey, are you fucking stupid? Do you not remember the past eight months of our lives where you seemed perfectly content to not be in a relationship? Remember how many times the two of us were hounded by our friends about dating? You fucking hypocrite.

    But you didn’t say any of that. There was an unspoken rule that neither of you ever brought up your old arrangement. It was as if it had never existed.

    Most of the time, it seemed like Brian wished it hadn’t. Like it was some embarrassing secret.

    “Well, we don’t want that, so you can mind your own business,” you said. “And where does Freddie fit into your little equation, anyway?”

    Brian shrugged again. “He could bring a date along as well, I don’t know.”

    “We’re not going on a– a quadruple date. Jesus.”

    “Just an idea,” Brian muttered.

    “You can still hang out with friends without your girlfriend, you know.”

    Brian sighed. “Okay. Well.”

    You sighed as well, gathering yourself. You tried again. “What about a party, or something? We haven’t been to a party in forever.”

    Brian hesitated. “Well, one of Dani’s friends is having a party this weekend.”

    Not exactly what you’d meant. “Maybe a little group of us could go?” you suggested. “If Dani’s all right with it? That could be fun.”

    Brian nodded to himself. “Yeah,” he said mildly. “Yeah, that could work. I’ll ask her.”

    “Great,” you said with a smile that you most certainly had to force onto your face. You began making a quick retreat, not waiting for him to formulate an excuse. “Text me, okay?”

    “Yep,” he said, and you could tell he was already forgetting about it completely.

    But, to your surprise, that weekend, you got a text from him. Dani said it’s all right if you and the others want to come along.

    Your lip curled. It hardly sounded like Brian wanted any of you there. great, you replied. pres at yours?

    I’ll actually be having pres at Lachlan’s, Brian sent. He’s one of Dani’s friends. But I’ll send you the details of the party and I’ll see you there.

    But no one else wanted to come.

    “No thanks,” Roger grumbled. “I’ve met some of Dani’s friends. They’re all complete wankers.”

    “But I don’t want to go alone,” you whined.

    “Ask Freddie. He’s always down for a good time.”

-

    I can’t darling, Freddie texted. work early the next day. they said if I turn up hung-over or still drunk one more time they’ll fire me

u don’t have to get that drunk, you replied hopefully. just drink a bit and then go home early

    then what would be the point of going lol?? Freddie sent.

-

    “Sorry,” Veronica said. “Studying.”

    You sulked. “You can’t afford to take a break just for a couple hours?”

    “No. And, honestly, I don’t want to enable whatever thing you’re going through right now. I think getting drunk around Brian would be a bad idea.”

    “I’ll be fine,” you said. “I just want an excuse to hang out as friends, okay? That’s all. It’s not enabling, it’s supporting.”

    Veronica made a sound that told you she disagreed. You huffed and gave up. What did she know, anyway?

-

    “Hey, Dea–”

    “I’m not going to that party tonight,” John cut in smoothly, not even looking up from his textbook.

    “But–”

    “I’d rather sever my own foot.” He glanced up at you, giving you an apologetic half-smile. “Sorry. I just can’t stand being around Brian and Dani. They’re insufferable.”

    At least that you could agree with.

-

    everyone else is busy, you texted Brian. You bit your lip, debating whether to ask, but, damn it, fuck it all – can I come to lachlan’s pres and go with u guys?

    It took him two hours to reply. Yeah, sure.

    You felt sick. This was a bad idea.

    It was by far too much trouble for what it was worth to get to Lachlan’s. You were terrified of turning up before Brian and Dani, so you arrived two and a half hours after when you were meant to be there.

    That was better. It was easier to rock up when everyone was already pissed.

    And they were very much pissed. Lachlan answered the door. He was tall and stocky, with brown hair and blue eyes. The sort of guy who looked like he’d played some kind of contact sport in high school, probably football, but now didn’t have a regular training schedule, and so was slowly losing the muscle he’d once had, replacing it with beer and burgers. The sort of guy who’d lose all of his hair by the time he was thirty-five, and get married so he’d have someone to get his beers for him when he was watching the game with the boys. The sort of guy who wanted kids because he liked the thought of telling people he had a couple of boys, rather than actually wanting to be a father.

    Or maybe you were making a snap-judgement.

    You introduced yourself, and he gave you a lopsided, skeezy grin, letting you into his place. “You here all on your own?” he asked.

    Your shoulders tensed. “No,” you said. “I’m a friend of Brian’s. Dani’s new boyfriend.”

    “Oh, yeah, sure, I know that. But you don’t have anyone to bring along with you?”

    “Not tonight,” you said vaguely. “Busy schedules. Finals aren’t too far away, and all that.”

    “Yeah, sick,” Lachlan said, looking you up and down. “Well.” He gestured with his beer to the crowd. “Make yourself at home.” He shot you another grin that made your hands grow clammy. “I’m glad Dani brought you along. Can’t wait to get to know you.”

    You gave him an uneasy smile in return, and frantically looked for Brian and Dani. You found them – Dani was sitting on Brian’s lap, yuck – and fled from Lachlan.

    “Hi,” you said.

    “Oh, hey,” Brian said, and you could tell right off the bat he’d had a bit to drink already. His hand was splayed over Dani’s thigh, holding her to him, and you couldn’t bear to look at it. “Thought you weren’t gonna come.”

    “I’m just late,” you said. “Hello, Dani.”

    She gave you a polite smile, but didn’t try to engage in conversation.

    Brian didn’t even notice. He squeezed Dani a little bit closer. “Well, you gonna drink?” he said.

    Yes. Yes, you were. You held up your plastic bottle filled with Sprite and too much vodka. “Yep.”

    Brian gave you a thumbs-up.

    Dani turned to him. “Just need to go to the bathroom, baby,” she murmured, tapping his hand.

    “All right, baby,” Brian murmured back, and you only just stopped yourself from making a face. The word baby sounded clunky, uncomfortable coming from Brian. “Be careful.”

    Dani leant in for a kiss, and you turned away, uncapping your bottle and taking a decent swig, grimacing at the burn. 

    Brian didn’t like pet names. You knew he didn’t like pet names. And yet this ‘baby’ thing had sprung out of nowhere, and it drove you up the fucking wall.

    You listened until the sound of Dani’s heels against the floorboards faded before you spoke. “‘Be careful’,” you muttered.

    “What?” Brian said.

    “She’s just walking to the toilet,” you said. “Not like she’s gonna get assaulted on the way.”

    Brian looked mildly annoyed. “I just don’t want her to trip and fall over and hurt herself. She’s a lightweight, and she’s wearing heels. I’m just… trying to be a good boyfriend.”

    You sighed. “Yeah, okay,” you said, not wanting to hear a word of it. You took another hefty swig of your drink. “I think I’ll, um, join the rest of the party.”

    So much for hanging out with Brian. You wanted to be near him, wanted to talk to him, but you couldn’t bear it for more than five minutes.

    You knew what it was – you wanted to talk to him how you used to. But you couldn’t do that anymore. Instead you had some weird, watered-down version of the Brian you knew.

    You joined in half-heartedly with a few drinking games, but quickly discovered that you weren’t really in the mood for getting smashed anyway.

    Brian and Dani stayed in their own little corner, giggling and whispering with each other, kissing and cuddling and being generally disgusting.

-

    You didn’t even think they’d bother coming to the actual party. But they did, and the group of fifteen or so people in Lachlan’s sharehouse all staggered along the street for about ten minutes to get to the main event.

    You’d managed to get along well enough with some of the girls, and Lachlan wouldn’t leave you alone, so you had no choice but to socialise. Which was good, in a way, because you lost Dani and Brian as soon as you walked into the party.

    Not that you particularly liked the girls you were talking to. Everyone just had such a weird vibe, like they weren’t sure if they could be bothered to talk to you, but also felt obliged to make you feel welcome. They kept bursting into laughter and you had no idea why, and no one bothered to explain the jokes. But then they complimented your outfit and asked you how your day had been, and they listened with encouraging nods and wide eyes of interest when you answered. Until someone said something that they found more interesting, and then they turned away from you when you were halfway through a sentence. It was off-putting, to say the least; you couldn’t seem to find your footing.

    Lachlan, however, was the icing on the cake. The sour, out-of-date icing on the stale cake. He flirted with you incessantly, either not picking up your clear signals that you weren’t interested, or just ignoring them. The others weren’t helping, either, egging the two of you on. A whole lot of wink-wink-nudge-nudge that you were not enjoying at all.

    You should’ve just gone home. You didn’t know why you didn’t just leave.

    But, for some reason, you stayed. Maybe you hoped that Brian would see your discomfort and come and talk to you – not that you’d seen him for the past hour – or that this strange group of people would want to talk with their friend Dani, and you’d be able to swoop in and catch up with Brian without Dani hanging around awkwardly.

    Whatever it was, it was a stupid reason.

    And then came truth or dare.

    You didn’t want to play, but you were roped into it regardless. There was a rule, you found out, that you were allowed to back out of one truth or dare, and you had to drink if you did so – but only the once, so you had to choose wisely. Someone dared you to show everyone what underwear you were wearing.

    Needless to say, you drank instead.

    You could tell that no one was very impressed with any of the dares or questions you came up with, even though your friendship group loved your questions and dares. This group seemed to like the brainless shit – if it was gross, or sexual, or nasty in any way, they were all over it. Barely anyone chose ‘truth’.

    Then it was Lachlan’s turn, and he turned to you. He grinned, and your stomach sank to the floor. “Dare you to kiss me,” he drawled, and the crowd gasped and ooh’d dramatically.

    You didn’t even hesitate to snatch up your cider, but Lachlan quickly said, “You’ve already drunk, you can’t do it twice.”

    “Well, I’m doing it twice,” you snapped, and took a swig.

    You received jeers and boos for that, and Gina, the girl beside you, took your beer from your hand and said, “You can’t do that!”

    “You gotta kiss me, that’s the rules,” Lachlan said above the sounds of everyone else.

    “I don’t want to,” you said, your voice wavering.

    “You have to,” said Savannah. “You have to, you have to, it’s the rules.”

    “Come on,” said – whatever her fucking name was. “Stop being such a pussy, just get it over with.”

    Lachlan was starting to look a bit pissed off by now. “Fucking hell, just come and kiss me,” he said. “Don’t be a bitch about it.”

    Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you could feel your hands starting to shake. “Jesus – no, all right? I don’t want to,” you snapped.

    The room felt too loud, too stuffy, too overwhelming.

    “Lachlan, just think of something else,” you said.

     “Okay, fine, whatever,” Gina complained. “Just do something else.”

     “No, I gave you a dare already,” Lachlan said sourly. “It’s not even that big of a deal, like, I don’t even know what the problem is.”

     “If she doesn’t want to-”

     “That’s the fucking rules,” Lachlan said, throwing his hands in the air like you were the one being unreasonable. “Is that not the fucking rules? Goddamn.”

     “Okay, then just kiss him already,” said whatever-the-fuck-her-name-was, waving you over. “Whatever, just hurry up.”

     “I’m fucking bored with this shit already,” Savannah said. “Just kiss him or don’t kiss him, whatever. God, this party sucks.”

     “It doesn’t suck, she’s just being a bitch,” Lachlan protested.

     “Don’t call me a bitch,” you said.

     “I’m just teasing,” Lachlan said, crawling over to you. You shrunk away from him, your heart beating like a cantering horse, and he grabbed your wrist. “One kiss, c’mon,” he said, his voice light and friendly, like you were happy to play along.

    But you weren’t happy to play along. You didn’t know if everyone was too drunk to notice your obvious discomfort, or they didn’t care, but this was crossing the goddamn line.

    “Fuck off, Lachlan,” you said, trying to pull your wrist back. You’d wanted your voice to be tough, to be assertive, but it was small and weak, and then Lachlan leant in for a kiss.

    You turned your face away. “Lachlan–”

    “Just fucking kiss me, for God’s sake, woman,” Lachlan growled, and grabbed your face with his other hand.

    You pushed his hand away, and, without thinking, blurted out the one word that your panicked brain told you would stop everything in its tracks: “Nickleback.”

    “What?” Lachlan said, and, good fucking God, of course that wouldn’t work, you were such a fucking idiot, and now you had no back-up plan, nothing else to do, and that word was supposed to stop things, why wasn’t it stopping things–

    But then Lachlan was gone, and you felt a hand grab your other wrist and yank you up from the floor, and you unthinkingly leant into the body the hand belonged to as you were led from the room and into a bedroom, and the noise around you became muffled as the door closed behind you.

    Then Brian was setting you down on the bed and sitting beside you. In an ideal world, he would have wrapped his arms around you and you would’ve been able to breathe again, like in a movie, but instead there was an awkward amount of space between you as he gingerly asked, “Are you all right?”

    You barely even snuck a glance at him. You were humiliated by what had just happened, humiliated by needing him to rescue you, humiliated by your desperate craving for his touch, his comfort. You stared at the floor, curling in on yourself, and you nodded silently. Your hands still shook from adrenaline, and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

    Brian sighed. “I’m sorry about them. I didn’t know…”

    You shook your head. “It’s fine,” you mumbled.

    Brian said nothing for a while, and then he reached over and patted you on the back. So achingly unfamiliar, and you felt your shoulders grow even more hunched than they already were. You didn’t think he’d ever touched you like that. Like you were a complete stranger.

    You ducked your head, squeezing your eyes shut. Don’t you dare fucking cry.

     There was a soft knock on the door, and Brian said, “Yeah?”

    You glanced up to see Dani poke her head in, and you quickly looked away again. “Hey, baby,” she said.

    Your stomach crawled.

    “Is everything okay?”

    “Yeah, it’s fine,” Brian said.

    “All right,” Dani said. You could feel her hovering awkwardly.

    Brian said your name, catching your attention, and then said, “I’ll just… let you have some time to yourself, all right?”

    You said nothing. You did nothing. And Brian stood up and left the room, closing the door behind him.

    “What happened?” came Dani’s voice from just outside the door.

    “Lachlan was harassing her,” Brian said.

    “They were just playing,” Dani said. “They’re all drunk, it’s just truth or dare.”

    “No, I know, but…”

    “You didn’t have to run in there like there was a fire and pull her out of there like that. Everyone’s going to ask me what that was all about. Where did that come from?”

    Your ears were straining to hear Brian’s response.

    “I… I just knew she needed to get out,” he said eventually.

    “She could have left if she was uncomfortable.”

    “She gets really anxious sometimes, she just freezes.”

    You realised, then, that he must’ve heard you say ‘Nickleback’. He must have heard it and immediately known that something was wrong.

    You groaned quietly to yourself, covering your face with your hands. Your ex-friend-with-benefits had heard you yell out your old safeword in the middle of a party, and had felt obliged to rush in like a knight in shining armour to swoop you to safety. Jesus Christ.

    “She’s an adult, baby,” Dani said. “I’m sure she was fine.” You heard someone sigh. “It’s sweet that you guys are friends, but you don’t have to…”

    “What?”

    “Look out for her that much.”

    “What do you mean? She’s my friend.”

    Dani was silent for a while. “Did you guys used to…?”

    The air was sucked from the room. Your ears strained to hear every word.

    “What?” Brian said, clearly thrown.

    “Did you used to date? It just seems like…”

    “No,” Brian said quickly. “No, we never dated.”

    “You’re not lying to me?”

    “No, baby. I promise you, we never dated.”

    You grimaced.

    Someone sighed again. “Okay,” Dani said. “Good. The last thing I’d want is for you to be friends with an ex.”

    Brian chuckled. It sounded forced. “Yeah, of course.”

    “I’m glad we agree. Gimme a kissy?”

    You could’ve thrown up right then and there. A kissy?

    You could hear them murmuring to each other, and Dani’s voice had a particular whiny, baby-talk tone to it that made you want to ‘accidentally’ open the door into the both of them. But then they left, and you were even more alone than before, and you lay down on the bed and curled into a ball, feeling sorry for yourself.

    It was time to go home.

-

    By the grace of God himself, Brian offered to wait outside with you, sitting beside you on the kerb, while you called a ride home. Dani stayed inside with her friends.

    “I’m sorry about… what happened,” Brian said, and you went still as a statue.

    “What do you mean?” you said softly.

    “Lachlan, and all of that.”

    You let out a breath. “Oh,” you said. “Yeah, that. It’s fine.”

    Silence. It wriggled under your skin like cockroaches.

    You wanted to touch Brian. You wanted him to touch you. You wanted Roger there, too. You wanted them to want you, like they used to. You wanted to be allowed to want them like they used to love.

    But Roger wasn’t there. And Brian barely was, either.

    “Brian?” Dani called from the front door.

    Brian twisted around. “Yeah, I’m here.”

    “Oh, okay. Just checking everything’s good.”

    “Yeah, we’re fine. Still waiting for the car.”

    “Okay. See you inside.”

    “Yep.”

    “Miss you, baby.”

    Brian chuckled. “Miss you too.”

    You waited until Brian had turned back around to face the road, and then blurted out, “Why do you let her call you that? You hate pet names.”

    Brian frowned, looking to you. “What?”

    “Pet names. You hate them.”

    “I don’t hate them,” he said.

    “You don’t like them, at least.”

    “According to who?”

    “According to you,” you said. “You told me. And you never–” You never called me anything but my name when we were fucking. “You never said you liked them.”

    “Well, I do,” Brian said. “And why do you care, anyway?”

    “I just think it’s weird,” you said, and you were aiming for casual but you knew you sounded brash. “You don’t sound like yourself.”

    “I’ve never had a girlfriend the whole time we’ve known each other,” Brian said. “You don’t know what I’m like when I’m in a relationship.”

    “You shouldn’t change who you are when you’re in a relationship,” you said. “That doesn’t make sense.”

    “I’m not changing who I am,” Brian said, his face pinched. “What has gotten into you?”

    “Nothing,” you said harshly. “I just think you’re lying to yourself. You don’t like calling her baby, and you don’t like being called baby, and I just think it’s weird that you wouldn’t just say that.”

    “Well, I just think it’s weird you think you have the right to comment on my relationship,” Brian said. “I like calling her baby. And I like it when she calls me baby.”

    “But you don’t,” you insisted. “I can hear it in your voice.”

    “What?” Brian exclaimed. “What the fuck are you on about?”

    “I know you, okay?” you snapped. “I know you far better than she does. And I know you don’t like pet names, but you won’t tell her for some reason.”

    “I won’t tell her because I like them,” Brian said. “And she knows me, too, you know.”

    “She’s known you for, like, two months! Less than!” you said. “That’s nothing.”

    “Why…” Brian floundered. “There isn’t some – time limit on these things. You can’t judge if someone knows someone better just by how long…”

    “I just don’t get it,” you said. “Maybe that’s my fault, but I don’t get how someone can just walk into your life and suddenly they’re the most important person you’ve ever met when you’ve only known them for five minutes.”

    “You’ve clearly never fallen in love,” Brian said snootily.

    “Oh, fuck off,” you scoffed. “You’re not in love with her.”

    “How would you know?”

    “You’ve only been dating a couple weeks! Come on, Brian. You can call each other baby all you like, but I know you.”

    “I like pet names,” Brian said, his voice hard. “I just never called you one because, in case you’ve forgotten, you were never my fucking girlfriend. So, for the love of God, can you stop acting like a jealous ex.”

    It was like a stab to the gut and a twist of the knife all at the same time. All you could do was sit in stunned silence.

    Brian looked at you, almost like he was waiting for a response, and when he never received one, he sighed, stood, and left.

    Your chin wobbled, your vision blurred, and you scrabbled for your phone in your handbag.

-

    Roger opened the door. “Hey–”

    You leapt onto him, kissing him furiously. He stumbled, but kept his balance, one arm curling around your waist and the other groping for the door, pushing it closed. You spun him around and backed him up, pressing him against the door, and ducked your head to suck at his neck, palming at him through his sweatpants.

    Roger jumped. “Oh, God, okay,” he said with a surprised laugh. “You’re really…”

    You nodded, and captured his lips again, nipping at his bottom lip. “I want you so bad,” you breathed. “I want you to fuck me hard, Daddy, please.”

    You didn’t wait for him to reply, and kissed him. You slipped your hands into his underwear, and he tensed underneath you, surprised again.

    You needed him to fuck you, to bruise you, to bite you. To make you feel wanted, needed. To mark you up, to make you scream, to make it hurt. You needed it so badly that your hands shook.

    Roger put a hand to your collarbones, and you thought he was going to choke you, but instead he pushed you back, just enough to stare into your face.

    “Are you sure you want to call me Daddy?” he asked unsurely. “You seem a little…”

    “What?” you said.

    “Not yourself,” Roger said. “Are you– Have you been drinking?”

    “The fuck does that mean?” you said. “I just really need you to fuck me hard, does that not sound like me?”

    “I don’t–”

    “Roger,” you cut in sharply, and then quickly softened your tone into something whinier, needier, more enticing. “Daddy. I want you. Please.”

    Roger’s frown never disappeared. “I don’t want you to call me Daddy,” he said.

    You blinked, taken aback. “Um, okay,” you said. You could still work with that. “No Daddy.” You went to kiss him again, but he held you away.

    You resisted huffing in frustration. “Roger…”

    “This is about Brian, isn’t it?” he said.

    “What?” you said. “No. Why would it be about Brian? I want you.”

    “You’re drunk and upset and jealous, and you want me to fuck you how he used to fuck you, because you miss it.”

    A slap to the face would’ve hurt less. Your hands fell limp at your sides. “What?”

    “Is that not what’s happening right now?” Roger said, his hands dropping as well. “Is that not why you’re over? You went to that party, got yourself all worked up and upset, and now you want to be fucked how Brian used to fuck you?”

    You blinked. “N– No,” you said, and you meant it, but the more Roger said it, the more you thought that maybe he was right, and you hadn’t even realised.

    “Because it’s what it feels like,” Roger said. “It feels like I’m just an outlet for you. It’s not even about you and me anymore, it’s about you and him.”

    Oh my God. You hated to admit it, but he was right. You covered your mouth with your hands, horrified at yourself. “Fuck, Roger, I…”

    “I’m ending the arrangement between us,” he said simply. “It’s not fun anymore, and it’s definitely not healthy. You need time to… I don’t even know. But you need time, and I don’t really feel like being collateral damage. Especially not with end-of-year exams literally just around the corner.”

    No. No, no, no, fuck, not this, anything but this.

    “No, Rog, please, I’m sorry,” you said. “I wasn’t thinking, I– I can’t–” You felt tears welling up in your eyes. “Please. I…”

    Roger sighed, and pulled you into a hug. You clutched onto him, and, finally, cried. “Jesus Christ,” he murmured sympathetically, stroking your hair. “This whole thing has really messed you up, hasn’t it?”

    “I c– can’t lose you t– too,” you sobbed into his shirt.

    “You’re not losing me. We’re still friends. It just… won’t be with the benefits anymore. For now, at least. Maybe forever, I don’t know. See how things go. But I’m never going to stop being friends with you.”

    Your body shook as you cried, and Roger rubbed your back, letting you ruin his shirt.

-

    The Bee Movie played on the TV, but your heart wasn’t in it. You leant against Roger, a cup of tea in your hands, and one in his. You were exhausted from crying, and you almost found yourself nodding off. Normally there was nothing more fun than enjoying the trials and tribulations of Barry B. Benson with Roger, but now not even casual bestiality was enough to cheer you up.

    Roger didn’t say much, either. You had no idea what he was thinking, although you were pretty sure he wasn’t really watching the movie, just staring at the screen.

    “I’m sorry,” you said, your voice breaking a little.

    Roger sighed. “It’s okay,” he said, giving you a soft, sad smile. “I know you’re going through a tough time right now.”

    “I don’t even understand why,” you said, your bottom lip trembling. Not again. “I never liked him like that, not ever. I know I never liked him like that. I didn’t want to go out on dates with him, or be his girlfriend, or any of that. So I don’t get why it – hurts so much.”

    “Your thing went on for a really long time,” Roger reasoned. “And now it’s gone. I can’t blame you. I…” He bit his lip. “I… kinda miss it too, to be honest.”

    You frowned at him in confusion. “You miss… Brian?”

    “I miss…” Roger took a sip of his tea. “I miss the dynamic, I suppose. We actually got a lot closer because of it. And it was fun, you know? Especially the threesomes, those were really fun.”

    You managed a tired laugh.

    “It was just nice to have… a thing, that was ours,” Roger said. “Us three, I don’t know. This thing that was ours. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

    “No, it does,” you said. You paused, and then said, “You and Brian aren’t as close now?”

    Roger shrugged a shoulder. “Not… really?” he said unsurely. “We haven’t really hung out a lot recently. I mean, we’ve been studying a lot, so I haven’t really seen much of anyone as of late, but, like, for a while, me and Brian hung out a whole lot, just the two of us. Guess you end up feeling closer when you have to talk about your feelings all the time. And when you see each other naked every so often.” He shot you a smile, and you smiled back. “But now it’s sort of in a weird place. I mean, none of us have seen him a lot, he’s just with Dani all day and night. Which makes sense, they’re in their honeymoon phase. But I do miss… that.”

    You nodded in understanding. “It doesn’t even feel like he wants to be around me,” you said in a small voice. “Like I’m not even friends with him anymore.”

    “You are,” Roger assured you. “You just… both have to learn how to be… normal friends again.”

    “And us too,” you added.

    Roger blinked, but nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, us, too.”

    You didn’t want to say it, you knew you shouldn’t say it, but the alcohol had loosened your tongue: “You gonna miss me?”

    Roger’s eyes widened for a moment, and then he took a big breath in and out, shaking his head. “Damn,” he muttered.

    “Sorry, ignore me,” you mumbled. “I’m just being sad and pathetic.”

    “You’re not sad and pathetic,” Roger said. “But I’m not gonna miss you, you’ll still be around.”

    “You know what I mean,” you said.

    “Yeah, I know,” Roger said. He sighed again. “I don’t think… it would be good for either of us if I answered that.”

    You said nothing. It felt like Roger wanted to say more, but he didn’t.

    “But…” You looked to him, and he looked to you. “Can we still be friends like before?” you asked him. “I mean, just – with Brian, he won’t even hug me hello or goodbye, he barely looks at me, he doesn’t want to be near me, I just–” You shook your head. “I couldn’t stand it if you did that, too. Can we at least just be friends?”

    Roger nodded. “Of course,” he said.

    “Yes?”

    “Yes, of course,” he said again. “I promise you, okay? I like hugs just as much as you do.”

    You nodded, reassured. “Thank you.”

    Roger threw his arm around you and gave you a squeeze, then took his arm back.

    A month and a bit ago, he would’ve left his arm there, around your shoulders. You would’ve pressed closer into him. Probably eventually would’ve lifted your head to kiss his neck, or maybe your hands – or his hands – would’ve gone wandering.

    But a squeeze was something, at least, and you were grateful for it. You told yourself you were grateful for it.

-

Three-ish months later

    The air was just starting to cool, and, for the first time in a while, you pulled on a jacket.

    It had been a while since you’d seen your flat. You’d gone home for the summer – not for the whole time, you still had rent to pay and you didn’t want to waste it, but for a few weeks – which had been a welcomed change of scenery.

    After how your previous semester of uni had ended, the last thing you’d wanted was to hang around the flat.

    It had been an uncomfortable summer. The mid-year break, last year, you hadn’t gone home. You’d told your parents it was because of the rent thing, but in reality, it had mostly been about Roger and Brian. A month off uni, and your flatmate Lucy had gone home for the break, meaning you had a free house? That had been a wild couple of weeks.

    You shook your head. Stop, you reprimanded yourself. It did you no good to reminisce. You’d had an entire summer to sort things out for yourself, to reset, and it was a bad idea to let yourself slip. You’d barely spoken to Roger or Brian all summer, just to give yourself some space.

    You’d missed them. A lot. Maybe cried once or twice. Maybe more. But that was only for you to know.

    You doubted that they’d missed you.

    The thought still felt like a stab to the gut, and you squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head at yourself. Stop it. Stop.

    There was a knock on the front door, and you were momentarily surprised – but you knew it was Veronica. You took a moment to get your thoughts together, then hurried to the door to let her in.

    She greeted you with a joyous cry of your name and a warm hug. “It’s been so long!”

    The two of you rocked from foot to foot, and you breathed in her familiar smell. You hadn’t seen her since before Christmas.

    When the hug eventually ended, Veronica sighed happily. “Can’t believe I’ve missed you,” she said, and you laughed, giving her a backhand slap on the arm.

    “Cow,” you said.

    “So you’ve kept the same place?”

    “Yep,” you said.

    “Lucy still your flatmate?”

    “Yeah. It works well, so.”

    “No, no, she’s lovely,” Veronica said with a nod. “Did she want to come to drinks tonight?”

    You glanced towards Lucy’s room instinctively, even though you knew she wasn’t in there. “She’s not coming back until Wednesday, I think.”

    “Ah, well, answers that question.” Veronica gave you a smile. You could tell there was a question on the tip of her tongue, and you just stood there, waiting for her to ask it.

    She sighed again, resigned. She knew she’d been sprung. “I wasn’t going to ask. I– I wasn’t sure if I should.”

    “I’m okay,” you said. “I’m fine.”

    Veronica squinted at you unsurely, like she wanted to press you for further information, but wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. “Fine?”

    “It’s been a bit rough, but I’m okay,” you said.

    You’d tell her the truth soon enough. You had no willpower when it came to Veronica. But you weren’t in the mood for a whole conversation right now.

    “So you’re all right for tonight?”

    You rolled your eyes. “Am I capable of getting drinks with my friends? Yes, I think so.”

    “Even though Dani will be there?”

    “Brian and Dani have been dating for, like, five months now – and don’t say it like that. Brian isn’t my ex.”

    “Roger’s dating someone,” Veronica blurted.

    Your heart leapt into your throat. Stop. “Oh?” you said, and it sounded warped and wonky. “Since when? Good for him. Have you met her?”

    “Once,” Veronica said. “Just last week, when I dropped by the flat. Her name is–” She let out a laugh. “Actually, this is really funny. Her name is Freddy.”

    You laughed. “What?” you squawked. “Freddy?”

    “Freddy with a Y,” Veronica said. “Roger made that very clear when I met her. As if that changes anything.”

    “God, I bet that’s confusing in bed,” you said.

    “Yeah, well, I’m guessing the ‘with a Y’ part makes all the difference for Roger.”

    “Freddy,” you mused. “What’s it short for?”

    “No idea. But she’s not as hot as you are.”

    You shot Veronica a mock glare. “Roger isn’t my ex either.”

    “Still,” Veronica said lightly. She hesitated, and then said, “Have you spoken to either of them recently?”

    “No, not really,” you said, as casually as you could muster. “Look, Ron, could we just… table this conversation for later? I’m not really up to it.”

    “Yeah, of course,” Veronica said, waving a hand. “Sorry, sorry, I’ll keep my nose out of it. Let’s just go. Are you ready?”

    You took a steadying breath. “So ready,” you said, hoping you sounded more confident than you felt.

-

    Arriving at the local pub felt like coming home. The smell of beer, the roar of conversation, the bundles of people crowded around tables. The floor was sticky, there weren’t enough places to sit, and the prices up on the chalkboard on the wall were far too high.

    You scrunched your nose. Coming home sucked.

    “I forgot how much I hate this place,” you yelled into Veronica’s ear. “We need to find somewhere less popular, Jesus.”

    “I know,” Veronica said. “I’ve mentioned it to John; he thinks the same.”

    “Next time.”

    “Yeah, next time.”

    You said that every time.

    Veronica corroborated her instructional texts from John with the view in front of her in order to find everyone else. They were tucked away in a corner booth, crammed into the space.

    You’d had enough trouble as it was, trying to fit everyone into a booth. You couldn’t even imagine how you were going to make it work with two new people in the group.

    Veronica took your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze as you neared the table.

    There was John, at the end of the booth, facing you – his eyes lit up when he spotted Veronica, and began shifting over to make room for her beside him. At the end of the table, on a chair, was Freddie. He noticed John’s line of sight, and he turned to you, his smile wide.

    You couldn’t really see the others. Just the back of Brian’s head. But that was hard to miss.

    Freddie stood up to give you a warm hug as Veronica tossed around a few ‘hello’s and slid in next to John. “Darling!” Freddie said. “I haven’t seen you all break.”

    “I know, I’m sorry,” you said.

    Freddie waved you off. “It’s fine,” he said. “I understand.” He glanced towards the other occupants of the booth.

    “Don’t start,” you muttered, and Freddie gave your arm a swift pat.

    “Speaking of which,” he said, turning. “Roger, Brian, you remember our dear friend, I’m sure?”

    You resisted elbowing Freddie in the side, giving Brian and Roger tight smiles.

    At the same time, your eyes landed on Dani and her browny blonde Ariana Grande ponytail and her mouse face and her curvy body pressed into Brian’s side. And beside Roger, tucked under his arm, was a blonde, tanned girl. Blue eyes, like Roger, but hers were light, strikingly so, and a perfect full face of make-up. Her brows were dark and bold, and her lips looked pouty and soft.

    ‘Not as hot as you were’ your arse. This girl looked like she modelled in her spare time.

    Your jaw clenched. You resisted dragging Veronica away by her ear and having a word with her.

    Stop it. Stop it.

    “This is Freddy,” Freddie said.

    “With a Y,” Roger added quickly.

    “Yes, with a Y,” Freddie said dryly. “Roger’s new flame.”

    “Hi,” Freddy said with a smile. Her teeth were very white. She lifted a well-manicured hand to fiddle with the silver chain around her neck.

    You could see the discolouration on her knuckles. Well, at least you knew her tan wasn’t real. That was something. Wasn’t it?

    No. It wasn’t. She looked incredible anyway. Didn’t even matter that she was wearing fake tan. What a stupid thing to think.

    You introduced yourself.

    There was a pause where no one really knew what to say next.

    “Hi, by the way,” John said.

    Relieved, you gave him a smile. “Hi, John, how are you?”

    “Not too bad. Do you want to find a chair?”

    God bless John Deacon. “Let me help you,” Freddie said, and you both began wandering through the crowd together, knowing there was no way in hell you’d be able to find a chair.

    “How are you?” Freddie asked. “Actually, sod the fucking chair, let’s get a drink.”

    “Sounds superb,” you said.

    “Try again,” Freddie said when you’d gotten in line. “How are you?”

    “Fine,” you said. “And you?”

    “Good, fine,” Freddie said. “Lonely. I want a boyfriend. Everyone else is in a godforsaken relationship, so I only think it’s reasonable. Look at me, the token lonely, single homosexual in a group of straight people. Right out of an early 2000s chick flick. I may as well start wearing skinny scarves and a vest and talk about how much I love shopping. Do you think I’m sassy enough?”

    “Stop it,” you said. “If you start wearing skinny scarves, I’ll strangle you with one.”

    “If I start wearing skinny scarves, I’d practically be begging you to,” Freddie muttered.

    “I’m sorry you’re lonely,” you said. “I could be your wingwoman, if you like. We could go out together.”

    Freddie gave you a smile. “Yeah, I’d like that,” he said. His eyes scanned the chalkboard, as did yours, but it was more habit than anything else. “What did you get up to during the break?”

    “Slept,” you said, and Freddie chuckled, nodding in agreement.

    “Ate too much,” he added.

    “Yep, that too,” you said with a laugh. “Never left the house.”

    “Except to buy more booze.”

    “Or take the bins out.”

    Freddie laughed. “Isn’t summer wonderful.”

    “Oh, it’s just perfect,” you said, and it came out so bitter, with such a sneer in your tone, that Freddie cracked up. A few heads turned, but they usually did, with Freddie.

    “Did you stay here or go home?” you asked.

    “Both,” Freddie said. “Mostly here, though. Just wanted to see the family for a while, but I’m far more comfortable here.”

    You nodded.

    “Did you talk to Brian and Roger much?” Freddie said.

    You shook your head. “No.”

    That was all.

    “Well, shit,” Freddie said. “That’s all just completely fucked, then?”

    “It’s fine,” you said. You reached the front of the line, and went to order. Freddie followed you.

    You ordered a cider, then Freddie ordered a pint. “What do you think of Freddy with a Y?” Freddie asked as the bartender poured your drinks.

    “I’ve barely met her,” you said. “Didn’t know she existed until Ron told me just before we left mine.”

    “Jesus,” Freddie said. “You really haven’t spoken to them.”

    “No,” you said. “And Roger doesn’t post much on social media, either, so. And Brian posts far too much, so I know way too much about him and Dani for my liking, which is wonderful.”

    “I’m sorry,” Freddie said. “God, I’m sorry it’s all gone to shit, I really am. That’s miserable, darling.”

    “It’s fine,” you said. The bartender set your drinks in front of you, and you and Freddie collected them, weaving your way back to the table.

    “Did you… get around to dating much?” Freddie asked.

    “Wasn’t in the mood,” you said.

    Freddie said nothing. Message received.

    You arrived back at the booth. While you’d gotten a drink, you hadn’t solved the seating problem.

    You bunched up next to Veronica. It wasn’t comfortable, but it wasn’t unbearable.

    You met Brian’s eyes across the table. He gave you a warm smile. It hurt. You hated that it hurt. “I haven’t said hi yet,” he said, like you hadn’t just gone three months without seeing or speaking to each other. “How you going?”

    “Good, good,” you said, and took a swig of cider. “You?”

    “Yeah, great. Get up to much?”

    “Not really. Did you?”

    “Not too much,” Brian said. “Dani and I took a little trip south. That was nice, wasn’t it, baby?”

    “So nice,” Dani said with a cheeky, knowing little grin at Brian.

    He shook his head at her, and she giggled, then reached up for a quick kiss.

     You knew about the little trip south. Everybody knew about the little trip south. Brian had waxed poetry about it on Instagram for every single day they were away. “So lots of sex, then,” you said.

    Veronica choked on her water, and Roger burst out laughing.

    You hadn’t realised he’d been listening to the conversation.

    Dani’s face was turning tomato-red, and she hid her face behind her hand. Brian managed a good-natured chuckle, albeit a slightly forced one, and you could tell he was rubbing Dani’s knee under the table.

    “What, what was the joke?” Freddie said immediately.

    “Nothing,” you said, and turned to Roger. “So, Freddy, with a Y, how did you and Roger meet?”

    “Bumble,” Freddy said, unabashed. “About a month ago?”

    “Yeah, about that,” Roger said.

    “Yeah, Ron said,” you said. “That’s nice.”

    “So there’s…” Roger licked his bottom lip. “There’s no one you’ve got your eye on, then?”

    “No,” you said, uncomfortable. Why would anyone want you? You were messy, you were too much. You were demanding. You were easily replaced.

    You took a sip of cider. Stop.

    It had been three months, for God’s sake. Three months of no contact, and still you were left with an ugly, twisted feeling in the pit of your stomach after everything that had happened.

    None of it had even mattered. You’d always known it had had an expiration date. You were just…

    You hated feeling like this.

    “Hey,” Veronica said suddenly, raising her glass of water. “Let’s make a toast, shall we? To the new year. To– to passing our classes, and to ramen, and to… fresh starts.”

    Everyone raised their glasses, saying something along the lines of cheers, and began clinking their glasses together. You took a moment longer, but joined in.

    Veronica met your eyes to clink her glass to yours. “Fresh starts,” she said with a small smile.

    You couldn’t quite say it back, so you smiled and nodded, then took a sip of your cider.

    You could feel Brian’s and Roger’s eyes on you. You pretended to be interested in something happening across the room.

    God, you couldn’t wait for this chapter of your life to be nothing but a bad dream.

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Wonderland by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Or on FF

Tagging: @kmomof4 @lfh1226-linda @teamhook

Chapter 2: Emma Swan

Emma sat on the plane with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. She had never felt so trapped in her entire life. She bit the inside of her cheek and her knee began to bounce nervously.

“Emma, everything is going to be alright.”

Emma glared at her mother. “Easy for you to say, you aren’t about to be a prisoner in the middle of the fucking ocean.”

“Don’t you dare talk to your mother with that language.”

Emma narrowed her eyes in her father’s direction. “Apologizes Mother.” The woman smiled sadly. “Happy now, Dave?” She added icily.

“Emma Grace Nolan!” She smirked; her father hated that she had begun calling him by his first name. A fact she took great pleasure in.

The pilot announced that they would be landing, and she turned toward the window, avoiding further conversation with her parents.

Growing up the heiress to the Nolan empire would have been a gift to anyone else, but Emma had always considered it a curse. Her entire life she had been expected to dress to perfection, act like royalty, and most importantly, never soil the family name.

“What’s your name?” “Wouldn’t you like to know!” “Girl, you are in a lot of trouble right now. You can tell me your name or not, either way I’m going to find out.” “Go to hell, officer.” “Have it your way.”

The jolt of the wheels touching down tore her from her thoughts. She closed her eyes, wishing she were anywhere but here.

“I can do this on my own.” She said defiantly as her parents followed her to the waiting limo.

“Not happening.” Her father nodded at the driver and opened the door, waiting for Emma to enter the car before sitting down beside her.

“This is ridiculous, I’m not a child.”

“Then stop acting like one.”

“David.” Her mother scolded.

They rode the rest of the way in awkward silence. When Emma stepped out of the limo, she grabbed her mother by the arm. “If I have to do this the least you can do is let me go in alone.”

Her mother stared at her, and her face softened.

“Emma we just want you to get better. You’re sick.”

“Yeah, well I’m here right? I’m on an island I can’t escape from. What is the harm in letting me walk in there on my own?”

Her father grabbed her bags and started walking up the path to the center. “David.” He turned around, making his annoyance clear. “I think Emma can do the rest on her own.” He paused, looking between them both and then setting her bag down.

“Fine.”

She bent down and slung her bag over her shoulder. “Well, I’m off to prison.”

“Don’t think of it that way, Emma.” Her mother pleaded.

“Whatever.” She turned and walked away, not bothering to look back, choosing to ignore the pain on her mother’s face or the anger on her father’s that she knew was the mask he used to hide his concern.

She swung open the door to the center and walked up to the front desk. The man dressed in a security uniform looked up at her. He was gorgeous, but not the type of gorgeous she was used to seeing. Men in her circle knew they were good looking and with that brought the attitude and money to get any woman they wanted. He had a more down to earth sexy look that she didn’t see in the men she knew.

“Name, please.” He didn’t even bother to hold her gaze, he looked away and frowned.

“Emma Swan.”

“Say’s Nolan in my logbook.” He glanced at her and shrugged.

Emma groaned, ok gorgeous but annoying.

“Listen asshole, it’s Emma Swan. Update your damn records.”

She looked around anxiously as the man typed into his computer. Across the hall her gaze landed on the bluest eyes she had ever seen, staring holes into her. The corner of his lip turned upward into a cocky smirk. “Take a picture, it will last longer.” She cursed under her breath.

He strolled across the room toward her, her breath catching in her throat at the intensity of his stare. “Haven’t met Regina yet, have you lass? No phones allowed; thus, I am forced to burn every naughty detail of you into my brain so that I may use it later...” He leaned closer to her ear; his breath hot against her skin. “for personal reasons.”

The guard at the desk cleared his throat. “Jones, I know it’s your first day, but rule #3 makes this entire exchange completely pointless.”

“Aye, but I still have one hand left to take care of matters myself.” He held up his hand, gesturing with his middle finger toward the guard. Only then did Emma notice the missing appendage on his left side, forcing her eyes to return to man who was drawing her ire.

“What’s rule #3?”

The man smirked and walked away from her. “Good luck, Miss Swan.”

The guard stood, “Ignore him, he’s still adjusting to his first day.” He walked out from behind the desk, Emma was quick to notice that this man obviously worked out. Wonderland certainly didn’t seem to be short on attractive men, no matter how aggravating they were, at least it had great scenery. “Let me take you to Regina, this way.”

“Regina?”

“She’s the manager of WRC. She’ll go over the rules with you.”

“Like rule #3?”

“Ah yes, the no sex rule.”

Emma’s eyes widened, before she was ushered into the large office.

“Regina, I have a new patient. Emma Nolan.”

“Swan. Emma Swan.” She corrected. At least the annoying jerk with the amazing blue eyes and sexy swagger got her name right, even if he was mocking her while using it correctly.

“Please sit.” The woman spoke, gesturing her to the seat across from her. “Thank you, Graham.” The guard left the room and closed the door behind him.

“Miss Nolan, welcome to Wonderland.”

“Look, I prefer Swan, but just call me Emma, since no one seems to listen to my requests around here.”

“I don’t care what you want to be called. Honestly, my job is to ensure your recovery, Emma. That’s all.” She opened her file and began reading. “Born Emma Nolan.” She looked up at her and smiled. “Daughter of David and Mary Margaret Nolan of the Nolan Empire.” She sat down the binder. “Your father owns all those hotels across the world, is that correct?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Yeah, boring.”

“Ah, not impressed with daddy’s money but more than happy to spend it, I’m sure.”

“Don’t pretend you know me.”

“Oh Emma, I don’t have to know you, I know your type. Born with more luxury than most people could ever dream to afford yet so deeply afflicted that you are afraid you’ll never get the one thing you desire the most.”

“And what would that be?”

“Being worthy of the family name.”

“I already told you, I don’t even want that name. I don’t give a fuck about being a Nolan.” The woman smiled and Emma looked away angrily. “Aren’t you supposed to give me the rules or some bullshit, or are we done now?”

“Of course, lets talk rules. You will have individual sessions with Dr. Hopper three times a week as well as group therapy once a week.”

“Can’t wait.” She mumbled and the woman grunted angrily before continuing.

“You’re to be in you room with lights out at 10pm each night.”

“I’m 20, not 12”

“You’re also not in a hotel and you will obey my rules or there will be consequences. There will also be no sex on these grounds.”

“So, I’ve heard. This place is a real downer.”

“Dr. Whale will provide you all of your mediation.” She picked up her file again and glanced through it until she found the information she needed. “Anxiety medication, as needed, as well as Birth Control medication, it appears.”

“Not sure why I need that here.” She scoffed.

“We allow our female patients to continue with their usual regimen since most have plans to leave and return to their lives. If you have plans to stay longer, I can let your Dr. know you won’t be needing it.”

“I never said that.”

“In that case, let me continue, there is a gym on site, as well as a registered dietician to use as needed. So now that we got that out of the way, we just need to sign the paperwork and I’ll need your cell phone.”

Emma yanked her phone out of her pocket and tossed it on the table. “Just give me the papers.”

She passed them toward her, “Please sign, Emma Nolan, that is your legal name.”

Emma grumbled as she took pen to paper, signing her name.

“You can make a phone call to mom and dad after you complete the first 14 days of your treatment.”

“Yeah right.”

“In any case, it will be available if you have changed your mind by then. Now let’s go meet your roommate before your first session with Dr. Hopper.”

“So much excitement, I can hardly contain myself.”

The woman did not hide her contempt toward her as they walked out of the office. Emma knew Regina’s type. She had seen it plenty of times before from the women who looked down their noses at Emma even as they attended her parent’s fancy parties. Those were the women who thought Emma was undeserving of her life. She hated women like Regina Mills. Eventually she would have to find a way to convince this lady to let her go home. She studied her cautiously as they walked. She would do what she always did, find a crack, and expose it.

“Ruby, I have your new roommate, Emma.”

Emma eyed the girl lying on her bed, engrossed in a magazine. “Bed’s over there.” The girl pointed to the other side of the room and the empty bed.

“Dr. Hopper should be ready to see you as soon as you unpack.” Regina nodded to the women and exited quickly.

“She’s a real piece of work.” Emma whispered under her breath.

“The word you’re looking for is bitch.” The tall dark-haired girl added.

“Glad it wasn’t just me thinking that.”

“You won’t have to deal with her much unless you break the rules, so obviously I see her at least once or twice a week.” She grinned.

Maybe she might actually like her roommate.

“I don’t know how you could even walk around here without breaking rule #3 at least once or twice a day.”

“You mean the eye candy?” Ruby mused. “It’s like they’re asking us to break that rule.”

Emma laughed heartily. “That security guard sure is nice to look at.”

“Graham, yeah he’s a bit of a straight arrow. He’ll flirt but I’ve never so much as even been able to convince him of a blow job. And he reports everything back to Regina, so I would tread lightly there.”

“Shame, he’s easy on the eyes.”

“Trust me, wait til you meet the men in our group session. They’ll have you wet and ready before you even leave your seat, I spend most of the session squirming in my chair, but then I’m also a sex addict so maybe it’s just me.”

“You can actually be addicted to sex?”

Ruby shrugged, “Yeah it’s a thing. Hop says I spend too much time worrying about my other vices and not enough looking at the reasons behind why I feel like I need sex all the time.”

Emma had never really enjoyed sex. But then she’d only ever been with Neal, so she didn’t have a lot of experience to compare it to. “So, what’s this Dr. Hopper like? Anything I should know?”

“He’s a nice guy, but not much gets by him. He asks more questions than you’ll be ready for. Best just to answer and move on.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Twenty minutes later, seated across from the curly haired doc and Emma understood what Ruby meant about his number of intrusive questions.

“So why do you think you are here?”

“Isn’t it obvious? My dad is pissed at me and sent me here for punishment.”

“Why do you think your dad is mad at you?”

“Embarrassment, not obeying him, and three thousand other stupid reasons he gets mad at me every day.”

“Why do you think he would be embarrassed?

“Why would you do this Emma?” “Why do you care?” “Emma, I’m your father, I just want to understand why you would get involved in any of this? You knew how bad this would look if you got caught.” “Ah yes, what you actually mean is how bad it would look for you.” “Drugs, breaking and entering, stealing…Emma? Why? Why didn’t you talk to us?” “Don’t start acting like you give a damn now. This is the first time I’ve seen you in three months.”

“He’s David fucking Nolan. Do you know how much money he paid just to keep my arrest out of the news?”

“Do you think he might have been protecting you?”

She laughed loudly, thinking about how absurd it sounded to her. “His business is his number one priority. Trust me, he doesn’t want anyone to find out about my…” She stiffened. “My uh, arrest.”

“You were arrested for breaking and entering, as well as possession of a schedule 2 substance, is that correct?”

She laughed. “It was a joke. We broke into a hotel of one of my dad’s competitors. Stole some cash.”

“We?”

“Um, a friend.”

“Were you also doing drugs with this friend?”

“Well, he wouldn’t be a friend if he didn’t share his drugs.” The joke fell flat as the man stared at her, making a note in his book. “Look it wasn’t a big deal.”

He flipped through the pages of her file. “You were high on cocaine the night you were arrested, is that correct?”

“I know, what a cliché, rich kid arrested doing coke.”

“It says in the report that you were the only one arrested. Where was your friend?”

“Took off. Gotta look out for yourself, right?” Emma chewed on her nails uncomfortably.

He paused and she braced for more questions about her friend but was surprised when he moved on. “How long had you been doing cocaine?”

“I dunno, a few years. Everyone was doing it at parties, its not a big deal.”

“You spent 11 months in jail, isn’t that correct?”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Did something bad happen in jail?”

Emma flinched.

“Emma you can do it. One more push.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.” She yelled, crossing her arms, and staring out the window. “Actually, I’m done talking at all today.”

When he became resigned to the fact that she had no intention of answering any more of his questions, he released her from the session. She stormed back to her room, unsure how she was going to survive this place. She hated being drilled and questioned by someone she didn’t even know.

God, she needed a drink.

She threw herself on her bed and groaned loudly.

“Told you the questions were brutal.”

Emma looked over at her new roommate. “What do you do around here for fun?”

The girl grinned. “Wanna get your heart rate up?”

She leaned onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow, her head cradling into her hand. “Somehow I don’t think you mean that in a way that is actually interesting or fun.”

“Come on. Trust me.”

She begrudgingly followed the girl through the hallways until she yanked open the double doors and paraded into the large gym.

“Ok you definitely lost me at physical exertion.”

“I said to trust me.”

She grumbled as they both walked over to the treadmills. “I don’t understand how exercise equates to…”

She gestured toward the opposite corner of the gym. “Nothing beats a good work out when you have something like that to look at.”

Emma watched the man remove his shirt and she grinned in the direction of her roommate. “Ok I’ve learned to trust you. You do know where all the fun is around here.”

“That’s Jefferson. Hot as hell, great in bed.” Emma stared at her, mouth standing open.

“You’ve had sex with him? Here?”

“Oh yeah, got a week of solitary for it but it was worth it.”

Emma increased the speed on her treadmill when two other men entered the room. The one Graham had called Jones with the blue eyes and smug attitude and a shorter man striding beside him.

“Oh, he’s new.” The girl sang beside her.

“Apparently it’s his first day. Graham called him Jones. Real asshole though.”

“Oh, even better, those are the best ones in bed.” She pointed to the guy next to him. “That’s Will. He’s hilarious, only got him to kiss me once, he has a fiancé waiting for him at home. Boring. Just don’t listen to a thing he says.” She laughs. “Compulsive liar.”

Emma watched as Jefferson greeted the two men. He lifted his shirt above his head and Emma felt her mouth go dry staring at his chest, a patch of dark hair trailing down into the waistband of his sweats.

“One hand, never done anyone in that situation before.” Ruby whispered.

The man stood in the corner, lifting one of the weights with his right arm, glancing in their direction. Emma increased the speed on her bike again, feeling the sweat starting to roll down her back. She swore she saw him smirk in her direction and she felt the fire between her legs start to burn. She broke eye contact with him, focusing on the numbers moving in front of her.

“Hello ladies.” She turned to see the one Ruby called Will approaching them.

“William. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Ruby Red, baby, glad to see you are back in general. Who’s your friend?”

“Will, Emma. Emma, Will.” Ruby introduced them, her voice coming out in strained breathes as she ran next to her.

“Lovely to meet you, I’m Will. Though you may have seen me on television.”

“Sorry, don’t watch a lot of television.”

He frowned and Jones approached them. “We meet again, Swan.”

“How unlucky for me.” She punched the stop button on her treadmill and slowed her pace as the machine came to a crawl.

“Was it something I said?” He laughed as she grabbed a towel and slung it over her neck.

“You breathed.” She groaned.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.” Her roommate stepped off her treadmill and held out her hand to Jones. “Ruby.”

“Pleasure is all mine, lass. Killian Jones.” He greeted.

“Aren’t you that pirate?”

“Aye, busted.”

“I knew it! Did you know that was him, Emma?” She squealed.

Emma stared at the two of them. Pirate? She squinted her eyes, staring at the man. She had no idea who he was. “Sorry, no idea, don’t care, honestly.”

He sauntered up beside her, dropping an arm around her shoulder. “Perhaps you know me by my more colorful moniker, Hook. Captain Hook?”

She grabbed his hand and plucked it off her shoulder. “Delightful and also ridiculous, but Sorry haven’t a clue who you are, don’t care for fairytales.”

“Never wanted to be a princess then, love?” His arm now sliding down around her waist.

She grabbed him by the hand, twisted in his grasp and pushed him to the ground, whipping his wrist behind his back. “I told you, I’m not interested.”

He laughed. “You sure about that, love.”

She leaned closer to his ear. “You couldn’t handle it.” With one sweep he wrapped his leg around her and flipped them over, his body pressing into hers.

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.” His tongue clicking in her ear. In an instant her body caught fire at the tone of his voice, and the feel of his body on hers.

Asshole.

Her knee met his groin in a fury, and she felt him tense above her, rolling to his side with a loud groan. “Bloody minx.”

She stood up and peered down at him. “You deserved that.” She looked back at Ruby who was in the midst of a giggling fit. “Let’s get out of here.”

The girl wrapped her arm around Emma’s waist. “You are going to be so fun to hang around.” She laughed. “I bet you are amazing in bed.” Emma glanced sideways at her, not sure if she was hitting on her or just making a remark. “Would be worth a week in solitary to find out.”

Yep, definitely flirting with her. This place was going to be interesting.

[gallavictorious]

”You going out? I thought you weren't working tonight.”

Mickey looks up from his tie to see Ian leaning against the doorframe, in uniform and with his hair neatly slicked back.

”Nah, it isn't work. Well, not exactly,” he says, finishing the knot and taking a step back to admire the result in the mirror. He's getting pretty good at this. Lots of practice in the last few months, ever since he took the bodyguard gig officially on the road. Clients like it when he wears a tie. ”You know the chick I've been babysitting for the past few weeks, the one whose stalker I caught trying to climb in through the fucking window? She and her dad's taking me to some fancy place, uh... Piccolo something, to thank me. Since you're working the late shift, I thought – ”

Ian interrupts, straightening: ”Piccolo Sogno? Like, that really romantic place down in West Town? You telling me the girl who has a crush on you is taking you there?” He pauses, looking at Mickey with a cross between disbelief and bemusement. ”Are you going on a fucking date?”

Mickey stares at him. ”What the hell are you talking about?” he demands. Crush? Date? What?

---

The chick's name is Charlotte Eckerton.

He was supposed to call her Ms. Eckerton, she insisted he say Charlie, and what he actually went with was usually some classic television reference that she didn't get, or – when she's was being particularly annoying – ”hey, brat”. She was probably no worse than any other spoiled little North Side princess, but Mickey sure as hell didn't get why anyone, no matter how loony, would want to stalk her, because literally all she did was go to class, study, shop, and party with her equally irritating friends. Oh, and endlessly updating her Instagram stories with every last detail about her fascinating life, of course. He put a quick stop to that, because continually announcing your location to the public when a deranged psycho was stalking you was... well, let's face it, it was about as stupid as he expected from these people.

She threw a tantrum when he swapped her phone for one with restricted access to social media apps, and she tried to give him the slip at least twice a day for the first four days, going as far as paying some other goons to attack him while she made a run for it. She was not completely stupid, he had to give her that, and he was beginning to understand why her father had come to him rather than hire a more well-established firm. The girl was a complete nuisance, and occasionally quite clever about it. Clearly needed someone wise to all the tricks, and unafraid to rein her in and tell her in no uncertain terms when she was being an idiot.

Mr. Eckerton was loaded, having made his fortune doing some IT-shit or other, and for the kind of money he was offering, Mickey was prepared to put up with a quite a lot of hare-brained shenanigans, as well as hanging out at the Magnificent Mile afternoon after afternoon, and listening to the brat's endless babble about... hair? Make-up? Bands? Whatever. He didn't really pay attention; he'd have needed to be paid hell of a lot more than he was to do that.

After a week or so of thwarted escape attempts Charlotte had exchanged overt defiance for a more subtle approach, trying to throw him off his game by suddenly gifting him stuff, like a dark gray shirt ”that goes really well with your eyes”. He took the shirt, because it was pretty nice, as was the watch and the stupidly expensive hair-product she produced in the following days. He was a little insulted she thought he could be bought so easily, though; she'd have needed to double her father's money, at the very least – or gotten him a nice car. He had said as much to Ian, who had eyed the gifts with an unreadable expression on his face, and had failed to comment.

When bribery too proved a failed tactic she started asking a lot of personal question instead, fishing for weaknesses to exploit. Her strategy was pitifully obvious, however, and Mickey gave her nothing but monosyllabic responses. Finally, she resigned herself to being stuck with him for the time being, and mercifully stopped pestering him about letting her go to whatever concert or party was happening that night. She still dressed up and put on elaborate make-up every damned evening, though, even if it was just the two of them chilling at her place, but he supposed it was something for her to do. Fuck knew he could sympathize with the boredom of being locked up.  

So that was Charlotte, spoiled and stubborn and maybe a little bit clever underneath it all. Not the worst person he could imagine babysitting, not by a long shot, but not one he'd think back on either, now that the job was done. He probably wouldn't even have accepted her and her father's invitation to take him out for a meal, if it hadn't been for Ian's occasional insistence that he needed to be ”nicer to his clients” and ”cultivate professional contacts”. This only made his husband's reaction to the whole situation all the more annoying –

”It is not a date,” Mickey says flatly, irritation coloring his voice, because Ian is smiling at him in all too knowing way. ”I probably saved her fucking life, she wants to buy me dinner. That doesn't make this a – Listen, her fucking father is going to be there.”

”Yeah, sure he will.” Ian crosses his arms, still smirking like an asshole, but there's just a hint of an edge to the smile now. ”Does she even know you're gay?”

Mickey rolls his eyes. ”Of course she fucking knows, because I open every damned conversation with 'Hi, I'm Mickey and I love cocks' like a normal fucking faggot. Jesus. It hasn't come up. She knows I'm married.”

”Like that's gonna – ”

They're interrupted by the door to Liam's room opening, the boy stepping out to give them his very best judgemental look. ”Why are you yelling? I need to study.”

”Oh, it's nothing,” Ian says casually. ”Just Mickey having a date tonight. With a teenage girl.”

”She’s nineteen, and I am not – !”

Liam frowns. ”Is this like when he was fake-dating Byron to make you jealous? Are you going to go on a fake date too? With a girl?”  He pauses, frown deepening: ””Is there a Grindr for straight people?”

Ian's spared a reply as Lip comes up the stairs with Freddie in his arms. He pauses on the top step, brow furrowing as he takes in the scene: Mickey, dressed to the nines and with a scowl to match, Ian smiling with his arms crossed, and Liam wearing his trademark look, the one that says that everyone else is a bit of an idiot. ”What's going on here?”

”Mickey's going on a date with a woman.” Liam offers it readily, a true believer in the free dissemination of information. Probably something he picked up at private school.

Mickey gives a half-choked groan. ”It's not a – ! You know what, fuck you.” With one last glare and an extended middle finger, Mickey grabs his jacket and storms off.

Ian, Liam and Lip watch him go, nonplussed. Lip glances at Ian: ”Huh. Less than a year of marriage and you've already turned him off men.”

”Yeah, well. Have to admit I didn't see that one coming.”

---

The restaurant is fancy as hell, linen cloth and candlelight, one person to take his coat and another to show him to the table. Charlotte is already there, blonde hair pulled back in a strict ponytail, something expensive glittering around her neck and drawing attention to the generious helping of skin her lowcut black dress offers.

The table is set only for two. Mickey frowns as he takes his seat. ”Your father coming?”

”No.” The smile she gives him is very innocent. ”He got held up in a meeting, so he called to say he can't make it. He said to tell you sorry, and to thank you so much for your service.”

Listen to those alarm bells going off all at once... Mickey tries to mentally shake it off. It's nothing to worry about. Just Ian putting weird ideas into his head. ”Uh, yeah. Don't worry about it. Just doing my job.” He waves for the waiter to bring him a beer. He does need a drink, quite urgently.

Charlotte leans forward, looking up at him from under half-closed lids with a very intense expression on her perfectly moisturized face. ”You were so brave when Smithson attacked me. I don't know how I can ever thank you enough. You know, my father is paying for this meal, but if there was something else you wanted... ?”

And that's her grabbing the olive from her drink and very deliberately pushing it past her lips and that's... that's her foot, sans shoe, slowly sliding down his calf.

Oh. Fuck. This is a date. Inwardly groaning, Mickey rubs a tired hand over his face, before looking straight at Charlotte: ”You know I'm fucking gay, right? Like, married to a man?”  Jesus, Ian is never going to let him hear the end of this...

Charlotte reels back just a little, mouth falling slightly open. He's prepared for shock, disgust even – but instead a dreamy look appears on her face. ”Oh my god, that is sooo hot!”

What?

---

He feigns sleep when Ian returns home a quarter past midnight, but his husband isn't fooled. ”How was your date?” he murmurs as he slips in under the covers and wraps his arms around Mickey from behind.

”Shut the fuck up.”

A quiet laugh, a kiss pressed to his shoulder. ”I take it you're sticking with cocks for now then.”

And sure, there's a teasing edge to the words, and sure, he'll hear about this for-fucking-ever, but... Mickey turns around, facing Ian. ”I guess I am,” he agrees, reaching up to run his thumb over Ian's cheek.

Whatever mischief is there fades from Ian's eyes, from his voice: ”I'm glad,” he says simply, and pulls Mickey in for a kiss.

Yeah. So is he.

---

This one goes out to @starkcravingmad​  who suggested a teenage charge crushing on a clueless Mickey, in a reply to this post. I know you didn't ask me to write it, and I have no idea if this is even vaguely related to what you had in mind, but for better or worse you planted the seed, and here we are. Didn't intend for it to get this long, or this silly, but yeah.

[dnd-drunks-n-debauchery]

Recap/Highlight reel of Friday Night's session

Brought to you by @nevergonnarollagain AKA Cookie

Before we started the action, Locke asked me whether or not I wanted him to be a nice DM or a meaner one. I chose for him to be meaner because I thought it would be funny.

We join the action as our party approaches the gates of the city on our way out. In front of the gates stands an Aaracroakra wearing an apron and regular clothes. Jayfice recognises this Aaracroakra as Klilic; the pair had been dating at one point, which is how they know him. Klilic's appearance seems fairly normal apart from a greatsword on his back. (This is important for later on.)

Both Jayfice and Klilic are confused at first, with Jayfice believing that this is some sort of illusion created by their mother (who, spoiler alert, is kind of an asshole). Klilic holds out his hand for Jayfice to examine, and upon determining that Klilic is not an illusion, Jayfice grabs him into a hug which seems to make him a little uncomfortable although he does reciprocate.

Jayfice eventually pulls away and asks Klilic to come with us out of the city, but Klilic counters with staying in the city instead. Klilic has lived here all of his life and runs a bakery here, which would probably explain why he's so reluctant to leave. When Jayfice tries to explain that the city isn't safe due to their parent's plans, Klilic simply responds "Then make it safe."

As Jayfice continues to try and persuade Klilic to come with us, Klilic turns and looks up at the top of the gate. Jayfice's father walks out, speedwalking slightly before slowing down to do a slow-mo walk in an attempt to look cool. It didn't work.

Jayfice's father tells Jayfice that their mother is very upset, and that whatever argument that they've had can be sorted by coming back to the castle and having a diplomatic discussion. Jayfice tells him that they've got no room on their schedule, but their father counters with the fact that Jayfice doesn't have any bookings listed in their diary.

Jayfice's father attempts to persuade Jayfice to come back to the castle, also talking to their brother and trying to persuade him to convince Jayfice to go back to the castle. When Jayfice declines he tells them he won't stop us leaving, and as a show of good faith he opens the gates and offers to answer any questions Jayfice has about the plans.

Jayfice decides to take the opportunity to ask about the full details of the plan, and their father explains; the plan is basically to conquer the whole of Arrack. They've enlisted the help of the Brokensky (a well-known gang of criminals who coincidentally want to capture/kill Jayfice) and plan to act through the Brokensky to attack other cities and drive a divide between them to make it easier to take them all over.

Since Jayfice's father is aware of the Brokensky hunting Jayfice, he offers to help resolve the situation if Jayfice goes with him to the castle. Jayfice shows a split-second of interest, and their father notices this.

He extends his offer to answer questions to the whole group and Rosania speaks up, grumbling that anyone who works alongside the Brokensky is bad news. Jayfice's father admits that he felt the same way at first, but that things have run surprisingly smoothly with them, aside from a few contract issues which he blames on his wife making comments in the meetings.

Jayfice thanks their father for his time and sends the rest of the group ahead, staying back to talk to Klilic and try one last time to convince him to come with us. Klilic really doesn't want Jayfice to leave, and draws his sword in an attempt to persuade him to stay. The pair have an intense conversation about Jayfice not trying to keep in contact during their exile, then Klilic casts fireball at the rest of the group, knocking out Ned.

Javier attempts to zap Klilic but only succeeds in giving him a light static shock, which unusually doesn't ruffle his feathers. (Literally. His feathers don't react at all to the shock.)

Rosania reacts next, preparing to cast Dancing Lights in an attempt to distract Klilic from the fight. However, her wand seems to tell her that that isn't going to work, so thinking fast she instead runs closer and casts Thorn Whip, and the magical whip drags Klilic closer to her.

Harmony follows Javier's example, zapping the fuck out of Klilic. Again, much like what happened with Javier's static shock, Klilic's feathers are not affected by the energy from the shock.

Klilic yeets another fireball at us all and Harmony gets knocked out, breaking her arm as she falls backwards.

Javier gets pissed off when he sees Harmony's arm break and fireballs himself, knocking out Rosania and killing Ned. When he realises that Ned is dead he spins back round to face Klilic and starts glowing like fuck. It doesn't take a genius to work out that Klilic is doomed unless Javier is calmed down.

Jayfice is conflicted. They don't want to hurt Klilic but he literally just killed one of their friends. They eventually make the decision to Eldritch Blast him, much to the amusement of their mother, who briefly appears as a hologram and taunts them for this decision.

Klilic is upset at Jayfice for attacking him, and they shout at each other for a moment before he starts to attack them, slashing their chest twice and prompting Jayfice to use their Hellish Rebuke. (They're a cambion who keeps the form of an Aaracroakra, that's why they can do that.) Despite Klilic being burnt by the Hellish Rebuke, his feathers, once again, show no real traces of it.

Remember how I said that Javier was pissed that Ned is dead? Yeah. He shoots some kind of lightning out of his chest that temporarily blinds Klilic. Then he charges at Klilic and attacks him with his fire sword as Jayfice shoots Klilic with another two Eldrich Blasts.

Jayfice asks the others to help snap Javier out of his rage, and they respond by fucking shooting him. Harmony, who has been healed and is back up on her feet, sends a death glare to Jayfice before attacking Klilic as well.

Badly injured, Klilic attempts to fly away and escape, but Harmony casts a Void of Tentacles spell and grabs him in it before smashing him into the ground, killing him.

And while all of this is happening Rosania quietly fucking dies in the background.

As Harmony dispels the tentacle spell, Jayfice approaches Klilic and casts Spare the Dying to ask why the hell he attacked them all like that.

But it turns out that this wasn't actually Klilic at all.

The creature we had been fighting was actually a Grey Slaad (a shapeshifting creature from another plane), and he has a mind-control gem in his brain. He explains that the gem told him what to do and that he'd likely be made to attack again if he was released, and Jayfice stabs him to prevent that from happening. While Jayfice and the Grey Slaad are talking, Inora revives Rosania and Ned, getting them back on their feet with 1 HP each.

Jayfice's mother appears as a hologram again and mockingly congratulates Jayfice for slaying an innocent creature, then flies up above the city and announces that Jayfice made a deal with a devil and attacked the city, ruined their crops, and declares that there is a reward for whoever can kill them and bring them back. Then she turns to Jayfice and declares "Let the games...begin." (Like I said, she's an asshole.)

A whole bunch of people start charging to attack Jayfice and our party, and Rosania (who, bearing in mind, just died and got brought back to life so will be feeling rather disorientated at best) goes into a full-on panic and turns into a fucking Allosaurus. Jayfice attempts to take advantage of this situation, yelling at the mob to stay back lest they send their "Uh, uh...creature" to fight them. They also threaten them with a boomstick and pleads with their father to close the gate, but the mob gets through the gate because their father hesitated. Jayfice asks the "big creature person" (Rosania) if she can help them, and Rosania turns and runs away.

Jayfice attempts to intimidate the mob again by changing to their cambodian form and yelling at them, but it just makes the mob angrier. With no ideas left Jayfice asks the rest of the group to help and dives behind them.

And the group gives the mob the same treatment they gave Javier.

Which is to fucking shoot them.

The entire fucking mob dies much to the horror of Jayfice, who casts Spare the Dying before turning and running away. The rest of the party follows them, and Locke comments that the Spare the Dying that Jayfice cast saved like one person in the mob.

Rosania leads the sprint from the city, noticing up ahead that there's a group dressed up in black and blue, led by someone out in front dressed in green. She finally calms down enough to stop running and turn back into herself, and decides not to tell the rest of the party about the group approaching. Jayfice announces that they'll need to find somewhere to shelter for the night and Rosania takes charge, silently leading the group to look for shelter.

Rosania leads them towards a group of trees, and while it would be a satisfactory place to shelter for the night a little voice in the back of her mind tells her to go just a little bit further. Trusting this voice, she leads them past the trees and we eventually arrive at a small, abandoned  town. All of the buildings seem to have taken damage, but most of the buildings would be safe to shelter in. While there does appear to be smoke further in the distance, the party collectively decide to settle in at the abandoned town for the night.

We all head inside the tavern, noticing a rotten carrot and some rotted tatters that may once have been from some extravagant clothing in the corner. Upstairs there seem to be a lot of yuletide decorations, and one room in particular seems to be decked out in yuletide fancies.

During the night, Jayfice wakes up with a weird feeling that something's wrong. They can hear the crunch of snow outside, and sneak over to the window to see what's out there. They see a man standing next to the tavern looking shocked to have seen/heard activity in the town, and as they watch the man begins to cast some kind of spell.

Jayfice sneaks outside to talk to the man, and he explains that he's a potion-seller who lives in the potion-shop across the street. Jayfice offers the man some crackers, and as soon as they hold out the cracker box all the crackers are eaten.

Jayfice spots a fiendish woman and an elvish woman walking around talking, and lures the man inside before spying on the women. They seem to be talking about taking people's souls, and mention "the exiled one", before going their separate ways. Jayfice attempts to follow the elvish woman, but loses track of her in the dark. They go back to the inn and fall asleep again.

Jayfice wakes up again a short time later, hearing what sounds like hooves on the floor somewhere upstairs. They go to check it out and find the fiendish woman from earlier, who demands to know what makes them special enough that the assassin would spare them and change an agreement she made with her. Jayfice admits that they don't know, but that if she wants their soul she can take it. She decides to spare them for now and leaves, and an uneasy Jayfice stays awake watching in case she returns.

As they look out of the window, Jayfice sees someone walking around watching their window, occasionally stopping to flip a coin. Then off in the distance they spot the group Rosania saw before; a group of people dressed up in black and blue, led by someone out in front dressed in green.

This is where we ended the session, although Locke revealed during a conversation afterwards that when I chose for him to be meaner at the start of the session, I was determining the Grey Slaad's AC and how many fireballs he had, essentially making him a tougher opponent. In response to that revelation, I announced "Guess I'll be choosing route B more often!"

[elizacornwall]

Vengeance is an Idiot’s Game  - Chapter 23 - Embers in the Night

Read all the published chapters here. -------------------------------------------------- Javier was playing his guitar with Uncle sitting next to him, Karen had finally given in to Sean’s advances and was seated on his lap. Miss Grimshaw sat on the log, Pearson and Lenny stood nearby. Arthur offered Eliza the comfortable space on the wolf pelt next to the older woman, whilst he lowered himself down onto the ground next to her. Pearson produced a bottle of Bourbon, passing it on to do the rounds.

Uncle had just begun a song, Karen and Miss Grimshaw joined in. Eliza had never seen the old woman this relaxed and was transfixed, watching her smile whilst she sang along. “Oh! I’m a wild free rover, I sing a merry song; The wide, wide world I wander over, With a light, light heart I rove along. Oh with a light, light heart I rove along!” She clapped as the song came to an end, everyone joining in happily. Karen and Sean staggered off to get more beer or to find some privacy, she didn’t exactly care know. Javier struck up a soft melody on his guitar as Miss Grimshaw excused herself to go to bed. Pearson took her seat a moment later, passing Eliza the bottle of whiskey the second time. “You enjoying yourself?”, the stout cook asked her. She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and passed the bottle onto Arthur, who took it off her, one brow cocked.

“I do, thank you! It’s a lovely party, I certainly didn’t expect this when I signed up to be part of an outlaw gang”, she laughed. “But I’m not complaining, seeing Miss Grimshaw smile for once is quite the view.” Pearson laughed heartily, and she glanced at Arthur to her right, his shoulders shaking with a soundless chuckle. “Aaah I remember a time where Susan wasn’t all work”, Pearson mused. “Back in the days, when she and Dutch was together, she was a right spitfire. Fierce and fiery, never too soft for any job.” The girl stared at him. “What do you mean, when Dutch and her were together. Like together together?” She tried to imagine Miss Grimshaw being young and, well, pretty enough to draw the man’s attention, but couldn’t quite conjure up the image. Arthur explained when Pearson seemed lost in a memory of times long past. “Oh yeah, she only fell in with us because her and Dutch were a thing, that was before all of this.” He waved his hand over the camp. “Back then it was just Dutch, Hosea and I, and then Susan tagged along. She was always good to me.” Arthur had never spoken about the past before, and Eliza was incredibly curious. She had been wondering about his relationship with Hosea, of course Dutch must have been there too at the very start. Pearson picked up. “Yeah, she got a bit mother bear-ish, but she’s a fine woman. I only wish she was available…” His voice trailed off and she smiled to herself. Pearson and Grimshaw, she wasn’t sure if they would be such a good fit, but who was she to judge a man on a little crush. Her eyes wandered to Arthur, whose face was still obscured by his hat. “That woman would eat you alive, Pearson!”, Javier laughed. The cook didn’t respond, he just grumbled and stared into the fire.

Uncle started on a new song. “When I was just a lad you know,

I met a girl from ol' Bordeaux,

She had blond hair and blue eyes too;

She let me ride on the ring-dang-do.”

Arthur laughed and joined in on the last line, as did Pearson and Lenny, and before long Javier accompanied them with his guitar. It was a crude song about a woman’s private parts, but Eliza was loosened up by the booze and giggled with them, first humming along and then even singing the chorus. “The ring-dang-doo, now what is that? It’s soft and round like a pussy cat, Got a hole in the middle and is split in two; That’s what you call a ring-dang-doo!” Her little group broke out in a joined laugh as the last notes ebbed off. “I didn’t take you for a lady to sing such filthy songs at the campfire Bonita!” Javier said, a sly glint in his eyes as he looked at her. “And I didn’t take the man who stole me out of my bed as such an excellent musician, yet here you are”, she replied, in a playful tone, a cheeky grin on her lips. “Javier you sly dog, you are meant t’ steal the ladies and get them into bed, not out of it!” laughed Uncle, joining in with the banter. Her cheeks flushed at this remark, realising too late how her words could be interpreted. “What’s this about Escuella getting in bed with our Eliza?” Sadie’s raspy voice sounded from behind her, she slurred her words ever so slightly. Eliza’s head felt so hot she was sure her skin was the colour of a ripe tomato now, and in an attempt to not look like a flustered little girl, she replied: “He’s welcome to try, though I’m sure we all remember what happened the last time someone had the intention of bedding me, right Arthur?” Her words had the effect she hoped for, and everyone but Javier started howling with laughter. Uncle patted his shoulder sympathetically, the copper skinned man feigned heartbroken disappointment on his face, playing along with the joke. “Sounds like she’s found a guard dog with you Morgan!” Pearson jested, and she caught Arthurs eyes for a moment, smiling back at him mischievously. He only hummed in agreement, his features unmoving. “Only thing she’s takin’ t’bed with her’s her gun, and I dare all of you to lay a finger on our little doe! ‘specially with me sleepin’ in the wagon next to her”, Sadie announced, letting a hand fall onto her shoulder. “She’s too good for the likes of y’all!” Flattered but slightly annoyed by her overly protective manner the younger woman shuffled on her pelt. “I’m no better than anyone here, you don’t need to worry about me.” “That ain’t true and you know it. You’re sweet an’ innocent an’ pure, I ain’t lettin’ any of these bastards change ya into what they are!” She was clearly drunk, way more than Eliza originally had thought. But she’d had a good amount of juice too and couldn’t hold her tongue, hoping to impress and shake everyone’s view of her as a helpless little girl. “I don’t know about that, seems like you think you know more about me than you do. I’m not quite as innocent and pure as you believe!” Uncle hooted at that and Lenny piped up. “Bet she had a different servant in her bed every night! Y’all know what they say about all them rich ladies, they got a taste for the cocoa!” He swung his hips suggestively as he drew out the last word, and Eliza was just about to answer what she thought of his cocoa, as Arthur laid his hand on her knee. A warmth spread through her whole leg and she felt that strange sensation in her stomach again.  “Don’t say nothin’ now you might regret tomorrow”, he murmured in a low tone so only she could hear him, then raised his voice addressing the rest of the group. “What’s with all of you damn fools, forgettin’ your manners in front of a lady!” “’s all in good sport Morgan, bit of teasin’ won’t do her no harm”, Uncle replied. “Don’t be such an old grouch! She’d say if she wasn’t fine with it, right Eliza?” Lenny smiled at her, wriggling his eyebrows. She nodded, but before she could answer Arthur got up to his feet, offering her his hand and pulled her up with him as she took it without even thinking. “Yer mumma never taught you a woman’s purity ain’t yours to pry on?” His voice had a disapproving ring to it. He let go of Eliza’s arm and looked down at her,

frowning. She swayed on her feet, only now realising how drunk she actually was. He quickly steadied her, holding her gently by the upper arm. He sighed. “How ‘bout I bring ya to your cot, them lot can be dangerous to be ‘round for a woman in your state.” “I’m good Arthur, let me stay up a bit longer. I can take care of myself!” She raised her arm and jokingly flexed her biceps. It didn’t even match the size of his lower arms, strong and muscular as they were. “They don’t scare me!” She could hear Sadie laugh, and turning to her she saw the blonde taking her seat. “Hey! That’s my spot”, she complained. “Arthur’s right, go an’ air out that pretty little head of yours at least”, she waved her hand dismissively towards the cliffside. “Make sure she won’t fall off, alright?” The question was aimed at Arthur, and Eliza scoffed. Falling off a rock wasn’t on her to-do-list for today, besides, she wasn’t that drunk! He gently encouraged her to move, his hand still holding her arm which made her all weird and tingly. Must be the whiskey. She staggered away from the campfire towards the ledge and he led her silently, catching her twice when she stumbled over her own feet. “I’m not as innocent as you all think”, she lulled, still feeling the need to defend herself. He only hummed in response. Arthur led her to a boulder and let go of her arm, sitting down and gesturing for her to do the same. She followed suit and leant her back against the cold stone, the world swimming in front of her eyes. “I-I can shoot, used to at least an’ I could d-drink most of my father’s men under the table, HA”, she let out a loud laugh, reminiscing about the suitors in their fancy dinner frocks, truly and utterly drunk, not even able to hold their glass anymore because they underestimated her. Arthur sighed. “That may have been true back at yer daddy’s home, but you’re runnin’ with a gang of practised drunkards now. Don’t be goin’ and challenging them, you won’t win I promise.” She scowled at him, he made her feel like a little girl and she hated it. “You’re just as bad as them, always tryin’ to protect me, I don’t need a safeguard”, she huffed, “I’m twenty six you know, not sixteen. An’ even then I could take care of myself when dad’s greasy friends wan’ed to get in my bed.” He was just about to answer, when she cut him off: “And Micah doesn’t count, if you hadn’t locked me up in the first place that woul'n’t have happened!” He looked at her, a strange expression on his face. She thought it was belittling, and… was that pity? He sighed again. “You finished?” Eliza pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them close. The night was cold here in the dark without the fire. Wordlessly he draped his jacket over her shoulders. It was heavy and smelled of leather, sweat, smoke and horse. It needed a wash for sure she thought, but it was still warm from the heat of his body. She muttered a thanks and Morgan laughed his raspy laugh. “I never thought you needed protection, Miss. You just ain’t used to this way of life and I didn’t want you to be embarrassed tomorrow. If you even remember all this.” Eliza kept quiet as he lit himself a cigarette, taking a couple drags before he added: “Besides, Sadie’s gonna kill me if I ever let anythin’ happen to her little doe. You want to talk about bein’ overprotective, talk to her!” She was still irritated, but even drunk her had to admit that his arguments made sense. Curse him and his common sense, all high and mighty and not to be argued against. The cold air sent a breeze through her hair as she locked her gaze with his, the moonlight reflecting in those much-too-gentle-for-an-outlaw eyes. “I don’t need a guard dog, Arthur. I just don’t want anyone to think I’m weak.” Her eyes started to fill with tears like they wanted to mock her mumbled words, she quickly wiped them away. “I just… want to be my own woman, responsible for myself.” He chuckled softly, dropping his gaze and lowering his head until she couldn’t see anything under his hat but his smiling lips. “You’ll get there”, he replied, “but

there’s no shame in gettin’ a little help along the way. ‘Gotta learn how to walk before you can run’ Hosea’d say.” She huffed again, not wanting to outright agree that she needed plenty of guidance, but of course he was right. She stared at her knees for a long time, not saying a word while he smoked his cigarette, looking up at the clear night sky. The young woman tried to get a clearer head, not completely overrun by boozy emotion, but all that tumult inside her head and heart was so incredibly exhausting. She welcomed Morgan’s gentle voice, distracting her from her musings. “See that star up there? The bright one, right there. It’s called Polaris. If you ever get lost at night, that’s the one you want to find, it always shows north.” He pointed at a star close to the horizon, just over the mountains. “Make sure t’remember that.” Eliza followed his outstretched arm and saw the twinkling star he was pointing at. It was gorgeous, outshining all the others around it. Her lips parted slightly as she was looking at it, trying to take in what he just told her about it. She’d never had much interest in the constellations of the sky, aside from marvelling at their magical grace when she felt sad she didn’t tend to pay the stars much attention. When she looked back at him his eyes were resting on her, patiently awaiting a reply. “I-it’s beautiful”, she managed. “Mmh. Useful too. Suppose that was bein’-your-own-woman lesson number one”, he chuckled. He extinguished his cigarette on the rock behind him and flicked the butt over the edge of the drop. “Come on now, you look like you’re about to nod off. You need some sleep”, he said as he was getting up, holding out his hand to help her up. She grabbed it, grumbling her disapprovement. He led Eliza all the way back to her bedroll and made sure she was safely tucked in, not without reclaiming his jacket. They could already hear Sadie snoring and she giggled; he just gave she a sympathetic smile when she mentioned it. “Hope she ain’t keeping you up with that. Sometimes she sounds like she’s sawin’ logs, no idea how her Jake put up with that durin’ the nights.” Her giggling became a snort, “That’s love for you”, she replied. He exhaled sharply in a silent laugh. “Goodnight little doe”, he hummed, heading off, back towards the fire. Her eyes lingered on his back as he walked, jacket casually slung over one shoulder. Could someone’s back be handsome? The embers from the fire swirled lazily around his silhouette as he rejoined the now smaller group. Javier was still plinking away on his guitar, and like so often his play lulled Eliza to sleep, her last thought being of Arthur’s eyes reflecting the flickering flames.