#I literally cannot stop thinking of them someone send help

[finniestoncrane]

Would u do yandere/obsessive themes for all the riddlers?

Literally was staring at that in ur request info cuz I fuckin WISH they were obsessed with me like I am with them :) hehehehehe especially YJ Eddie my ass can't shut up about him HELP xD

Riddler Headcanons hnnnnnng i love to imagine a world where every one of these little freaks is obsessed with the object of their affection to the point where they gotta keep them SAFE AND PRESENT lest their ego suffer 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: yandere themes, obsession, threats, violence, kidnapping, imprisonment, desperation, so many sexual things omg

arkham

ok his obsession is. unhealthy. and guess what? he deals with it in an even more unhealthy way!! and it was never for a moment anything close to being sweet...

maybe at the beginning, when he was trying to lure you in, trying to convince you that he wasn't about to murder you at any given moment, but that ended pretty quickly

but then he realised that he enjoyed your company and GOD!!

how dare you remind him of his pathetically human nature, his needs and desires that he was so sure he was above given his superiority

it's a fine line between love and hate, and he's straddling it so hard his balls are in agony

could you just do him a favour and either die by his hands so he can stop thinking about you or have the decency to be his dirty little secret?

literally cannot stop thinking about you, but while those thoughts give him a tent in his horrid cargo pants, they are incredibly violent in nature

btaa

hello!! you are now the lucky recipient of at least 50 "secret admirer" gifts every day! each one more absurd and impractical than the last!

it's got the the point where every time you hear a plane, you panic about what he's written in the sky for you this time

he'll never reveal himself though, because he's stuck in a cycle of trying to impress you but failing miserably and then convincing himself he can make it right with just one more gesture

so you have an apartment filled with plushies and chocolates and your doorbell gives you hives when it rings these days

it's just a precaution, because he needs to mark his territory. he has to ensure that any potential rivals in love can see that you have someone willing to do THE MOST

and anyone who tries to outdo him will suffer the swift consequences

young justice

he's always thought of himself as superior to everyone, intellectually of course, so there's never been much of a reason for him to be jealous of anyone

until he met you, and he realised that there were a lot more areas for a rival to compete with him than just intelligence

trying to figure out a way to keep them away from you, to have you all to himself, took a LOT of his brain power. and it's not exactly great when huge brains and a paranoid mind come together

i mean, if you thought you were surprised when he kidnapped you then just imagine how it felt for him when he suddenly realised what he was doing. and by that point, he'd already gone too far

but this could work!! now you're with him and you're his, all his!!

dano

oof, he's like "they won't treat you right!!" was dressed up in a big jacket with cling film on it's head

he's so happy to pretend to be your shoulder to cry on, the one that you go to when the world just seems to be cruel and unbearable

he'll be there for you, to comfort you, to dry your eyes and cheer you up. because it is unfair to you! how can you have been through so many dismal relationships? each one of them ending with you being completely ghosted?

it's fine, none of them were right for you clearly, they weren't good enough for someone like you. someone he thinks is perfect

he never has to reveal to you the lengths he went to in order to get rid of them, that he's the reason they never called back. pretty difficult to do that when your hands aren't attached to your arms and your arms aren't attached to your torso and your torso isn't attached to your head

no, you'll never know, just keep crying over them and eventually you'll realise that he's the one who's always there for you

gotham

you'd think he was just the usual soft boy with an adorable little crush, but he's actually the incarnation of "if i can't have you, no one can" and he is so more than willing to prove this frequently

all of that time spent doing favours for you, ones you didn't even know you needed!! organising your files, making sure your office smelled nice, putting your favourite hand soap in the bathroom closest to you, breaking into your apartment and leaving you fresh milk for your coffee

you would think you would be more grateful, but you weren't, at least not enough for him, your attentions were still with other people

being polite to them, doing little favours for them instead of returning them to him, laughing at their jokes

it's a little bit unfair how you think you can be nice to everyone around you instead of focusing every bit of your attention on him

so he really has no other choice but to eliminate them, one by one

and if that fails? he'll just get rid of the problem at the root, which means that unfortunately, you'll have to disappear...

zero year

horrid little man, he's learned everything he knows from shitty pick up artist videos and thinks he can keep you by "devaluing" you

so expect a lot of backhanded compliments, the kind of thing that makes you think you're not good enough for him in a way that keeps you very close and actually lowers you to his level rather than the pedestal you deserve to be on (which he is aware of)

but when you realise that he's not actually being nice, and that he's really just a bit of a waster? and you stop letting him treat you ilke that, and grow a spine, and threaten to leave him?

i mean, OBVIOUSLY he's going to have to think of a way to take away that choice!! he can't have you able to just get up and go whenever you feel like it

he has to have you, because that's what you are to him: a posession, a trophy, a reward for his efforts in "chivalry"

[vampire-jelly]

They have taken my brain hostage.

[littlefankingdom]

One of the thing I hate the most about the batfam fanon is the very popular belief that Crime Alley is Red Hood's territory only and that they love him more than Batman, or even hate Batman.

And sure, you are free to have headcanons, but when those diminish other characters so you can uplift your blorbo, or disregard other characters' morals so your blorbo is loved by everyone, it's an issue.

First, do you realize for how long Batman has been operating in Gotham and Crime Alley? He has been there for Crime Alley's folks for so long! There's this great episode of Batman: The Animated Series where Batman protects and saves Crime Alley folks when a business tycoon is set on destroying their homes. He is also shown to go visit Leslie as Batman, and helps her as Batman. ("Appointment in Crime Alley" is the episode, GO WATCH IT) In the comics, it is redundant that Bruce spend each anniversary of his parents' murder in Crime Alley as Batman. That's literally how he got Jason. He doesn't just beat up criminals, he shows up to protect the people there, from the elite just as much as common criminals. Bruce, as Batman, has been seen by Crime Alley folks helping Leslie multiple time and listening to her. In No Man's Land, the poorest population of Gotham cannot leave, and who shows up to help and protect them? BATMAN (with Huntress and Batgirl, the boys are out of town) He is the one to save them, to bring them food and medecine, to take them to Leslie. He is not letting a single one of them die and suffer more. And you're telling me people in Crime Alley don't like Batman???

Secondly, people don't feel safe around cops because they kill people who have committed crimes or are criminals in their eyes. The thing about cops is that, the system should held them accountable for that, because they work for the government. Red Hood is doing the same shit, but he cannot be held accountable. This is literally one of the canon reasons Batman cannot kill. How the fuck can you think people, especially minorities and poor folks who are the most targeted by police violence, feel safe with a man using the same logic as violent cops but with no authority to stop him. "He only kills REALLY bad people" this is totally not canon, but also, how to people know that? How do you knows that who he sees as really bad people is the same as you and you are safe? Like, racists think black people and arabs are bad people, for example. They have no reason to trust Red Hood, he is just another crime lord doing the same crime lord shit of being like "I'll protect you as long as you are following my rule and paying me money, or else you'll die". Y'all love to call Bruce naïve for believing in the human rights and rehabilitation (Norway is literally doing that shit rn and they are doing so well), but you are naïve if you think everyone in Crime Alley love Red Hood and trust him.

Side note: Bruce is the one financially supporting Leslie's clinic. She has way stricter morals than Bruce (for example, if Bruce killed someone, she would call the cops on him to send him to jail. Bruce wouldn't call the cops on Jason) She would NOT accept Jason's crime money, and she doesn't need it with Bruce backing her. She probably doesn't like Red Hood at all, because he is violent and kills, and if some Crime Alley folks give a fuck about what Leslie thinks, they would also not like him.

[kings-highway]

more airport headcanons bc Im in an airport again. A handful of mild implied ships you know the drill

- Kageyama cannot figure out where his gate is, ever. It doesnt matter if he's in a little domestic terminal or a big international one. He'll just be spinning in circles, confused.

- Tsukishima absolutely fucking hates slow walkers and will go from zero to a hundred on his frustration scale trying to get down a hallway where he needs to go.

- Daichi trying to explain to Suga that the airport has a shuttle between parking and the terminal over and over and over again and Suga continuously going "but we're parking so far away 🥺" and merely not listening to him.

- Absolutely lost as fuck Atsumu and Osamu checked out while they were on the shuttle and now they are in an entirely different terminal than they wanted to be.

- Sakusa gets up and moves every time someone sits near him and eventually just ends up standing in front of whoever he's traveling with.

- Daichi and Suga are sitting in an airport food court eating a nice, leisurely dinner before a long flight simultaneously to Noya and Asahi sprinting through trying to find where the fuck they're going.

- Tendou compulsively makes terrible, inappropriate jokes to the security team and then they have to search his bags. He always realizes what he's done a second too late and sighs at his own behaviour and just starts walking over to the pat down spot without being told

- Kita experiences flight anxiety and has a fear of flying, but specifically a fear of turbulence, because unlike everything else in his life, there is literally nothing he can do to prevent this plane from crashing. Cant just... Practice and get better. He has to trust the pilots done that enough. And he doesn't trust the pilot.

- connecting to the above Aran and Kita flew together before they got together and Kita held his hand so tightly the entire take-off and landing and he thought it was adorable.

- Hoshiumi threatens out loud to throw babies off planes when they start crying and his friends have to beg him to stop speaking so loudly

- Ukai and Takeda tried to fly together once and during a layover accidentally entered the country illegally by accidentally going through a staff only gate and ended up outside and had to try and reenter the airport and Takeda was having an anxiety attack the whole time thinking they were going to jail and Ukai could not stop laughing

- Ushijima helps everyone on the plane put their stuff up into overhead bins and take it down not because he wants to but because people look lost and the bags look heavy and he assumes he has to. The flight attendants have to tell him to stop and that they'll do that

- sorry to say it but Tanaka starts lining up before his section is called and Kiyoko thinks its so embarassing

- Hinata and Kageyama once missed a flight despite getting there 2 hours early because they got so engrossed in fighting with each other they didn't hear the announcer for 30 whole minutes

- all of the Karasuno team will make Daichi talk to the airport attendants if there is any issue. Lost bag, gate issue, whatever, they get all sweet and ask if he could. Ppllleeeeaaasssse go ask? He does, every time. Staff in airports love him for some reason.

- when he's traveling alone Oikawa will send pictures from around the airport to Iwa to review them and rank against other airports. He's a very mean critic.

- Yachi took one short domestic flight one and had a repeating nightmare of a plane crash for months before and afterwards

Okay thats all the time I had thank you for listening

[4unnyr0se]

❥ sfw & n$fw headcanons - yuu nishinoya & morisuke yaku

warnings: timeskip! characters, fem! reader, they're sweetiepies, noya is actually a freak, roleplay, switch! noya, hickeys, spanking, mentions of unprotected sex, dom! yaku, slight breeding kink with yaku, cowgirl, doggystyle, they love you so much

MDNI | 18+ content

word count -> 2k

a/n: im sorry if yaku is ooc i wrote this at 2am and i do not feel like editing anything. n$fw is censored because i would like to keep my blog lmao

Yuu Nishinoya - SFW

❥ Absolutely whipped for you the second he lays his eyes upon you. You could be doing anything, literally anything, and he knew right then and there that he would die for you, no questions asked.

❥ He doesn’t really care what qualifies as a “date” as long as he gets to spend time with you. You could be folding laundry together, and he thinks it’s the most romantic date you’ve been on because you’re with him and you’re his entire world.

❥ Spontaneous. Gifts. He’ll send flowers to where you work, give you cool rocks he found while hiking or doing some other such thing, making you a care basket full of your favorite chocolates and snacks, contracting Sugawara to help him write love letters (writing is not his strong suit but he still wants to do it.)

❥ So much food, like…just so much food. You’ve been to every restaurant in town at least twice because that boy loves to eat. Even if you aren’t a big eater, he’ll still make sure you get three meals a day plus snacks. And if you struggle to eat, he’ll be so happy even if you only eat a little bit off your plate.

❥ Quality time and physical touch are his love languages, so expect to be getting kisses often. Pecks on the cheek in public, his arms wrapped around your waist from behind as you wash dishes in the sink. And if he’s jealous? He has no problem making out with you in front of people because you’re his, and the world should know.

❥ Speaking of physical touch, this man will not stop holding your hand. At least one part of him is touching a part of you at any given moment when you’re together as if he’s afraid you’d float away if he let go.

❥ Hella clingy, this man is incredibly clingy. If you get up to use the restroom when you’re cuddling, he’s waiting outside the door for you to come back so he can kiss those beautiful lips of yours. He just can’t get enough!

❥ Obsessed with you and everything that you do. Did you sneeze? He’s on the verge of tears because you look so fucking cute when you sneeze. Did you buy a new outfit? He’s throwing a tantrum until you model it for him so he can shower you with praise. Noya worships the ground you walk on and them some. 

❥ Lowkey possessive but in a good way. Deep down, he’s worried that you’ll leave him for someone taller or better than he is, so he gets a tiny bit jealous when he sees someone talking to you that he considers a threat. Of course, you’re free to do whatever you like. He would never tell you what you can and cannot do. He respects you too much for that. But he will talk to you about his feelings because he’s mature like that.

N$FW

❥ So. Many. Hickeys. This ties into the part of him being possessive. He wants to let everyone know that you’re his, and what better way to show you off than by parading you around town with your neck and chest covered in little red and purple bruises? You’ve nearly gone bankrupt on buying just concealer because once a hickey fades away, a new one will take its place in no time at all.

❥ Literally anything the two of you do will end in him fucking you or vice versa. If you bend down to pick something up, his hands are groping your ass, and he’s pulling down your panties and shoving his fingers into your pussy, all the while whispering the filthiest things in your ear. 

❥ This motherfucker whines and whimpers, and he’s so incredibly loud about it. The second he shoves his dick inside, he becomes a babbling, pussydrunk mess that’s only focused on you cumming all over his cock.

❥ Noya is 100% a switch who doesn’t lean towards being submissive or dominant. He just does whatever you want him to. Do you want him to fuck you stupid for hours on end? He’s down for that? Do you want to tie him up, blindfold him, and ride him until he can’t think. Also completely down for that. 

❥ Endless stamina. As long as you’re up for it, he can fuck you for the entire day. He simply doesn’t believe in a recovery period on his end. He’ll fuck you from sunrise to sunset. All you have to do is ask.

❥ Tits man 100%. Noya loves tits, no matter the size or shape. If you have huge tits, he’s fondling them as he takes you from behind. Medium-sized tits? He sucks on them as you ride his cock, relishing in the taste. Small tits? He plays with your pert nipples as he fucks you missionary. All tits are good tits in his eyes

.❥ Highly experimental in the bedroom. He’ll try anything and everything if it means you both get to feel good. From you pegging him to him filming your third orgasm of the night, he’s down for whatever. The only things he isn’t okay with are hitting you (impact play) and sharing you with others. He will casually slap your ass but that’s as far as he’ll go. He just can’t bring himself to hit you, even if it turns you on.

❥ Could eat you out for literal days and not get tired, not even for one second. He wants you cumming on his tongue and pulling on his hair as you beg him for more, and he’ll give it to you.

❥ Focuses on your pleasure, not his own. You’re his goddess and he’d do anything to serve you, anything to make you cum again and again.

❥ Has a whole index of kinks, but his top ones are roleplay and passionate sex. Dress up as a teacher, and he’ll cum in his pants, begging on you to punish him for failing your class.

❥ Loves to make love to you.

❥ “Yeah? You like it when I fuck you with my fingers, angel? M’gonna make you cum so fucking much for me, my perfect angel.”

❥ “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight. Can’t get enough of this dick, can you baby? Gotta fuck you stupid.”

❥ “More, I want more! I’ve been so bad, I deserve to be punished, ma’am!”

❥ “Talk to the camera for me, angel. Tell the camera how many times my cock made this pussy squirt all over the sheets.”

❥ “Gonna fucking cum inside, can’t pull out. Oh, fuck, baby, you’re fucking milking me dry, shit.”

❥ “Faster, fuck me faster! Wanna fucking cum so bad, please! I’ve been good, right?”

Morisuke Yaku - SFW

❥ Loves when you get an attitude with him because he also has an attitude. He loves when you talk back to him and when you tell him how you really feel, it’s just so refreshing. Honesty is very important to Yaku.

❥ You and Yaku basically continue to mother Lev well after you’re both graduated. Lev will call and text you for advice and you’ll gladly help him, even if Yaku gets a little jealous that you’re paying more attention to the oversized Russian than you are to your own boyfriend.

❥ Takes you on the most romantic restaurant dates ever. He has professional athlete money, so order whatever the hell you like! If you want five lobsters, get five lobsters. As long as his baby is happy.

❥ Spoils you rotten, but he won’t ever admit it. If you point out a cute necklace that you saw in a magazine, it’s there when you wake up the next morning. Yaku will pretend to not know how it got there, but he knows, obviously. Expect lots of expensive gifts when you’re dating, especially from designer brands. Half of your closet is Chanel and you sure as hell aren’t complaining.

❥ Not that big on PDA, but will wrap an arm around your waist in public. Since he’s a well-known libero in the Russian Volleyball League, he gets approached on the street sometimes. He doesn’t want to draw too much attention to himself (especially if you hate getting attention from strangers, so he holds off on kissing you until you’re in the privacy of his penthouse apartment.

❥ Pleads and begs until you adopt a cat together. He just wants a cat with you, any cat will do. It can be a cat you found in a dumpster or a cat that cost someone’s entire yearly salary, he just wants a cat to raise with you by his side.

❥ Wraps his arms around your waist as you cook and leave kisses on your neck. Whether you’re taller or shorter from him, get ready for hugs and kisses from behind.

❥ If you struggle with your body image, he’ll kiss away all your insecurities. His lips will be on yours for hours as he tells you how perfect you are, and how much he loves you. He’ll kiss away your tears as you start crying as well, because to him you are perfect.

N$FW

❥ Not very vocal in bed, but he does make plenty of grunts and groans. The only time you’ll ever really hear him moan is when you bite down on his incredibly sensitive neck, which will make him cum on the spot.

❥ Advocate for safe and healthy sex but prefers to hit it raw. He’ll use a condom if you want him to, he isn’t a monster. But the way you react when his cum fills out of your womb makes him want to wife you up and fuck you every single day.

❥ Designer lingerie is his weakness, especially the ones with garters that squeeze your thigh beautifully. If you wear red lingerie around him, be prepared to not be able to walk tomorrow because he will ruin your pussy.

❥ 100% a pleasure dom. Nothing makes him happier than knowing that he fucks you so good each and every night that you can’t even get off without his help anymore because that’s how much he loves to fuck you.

❥ Ass man. His hands will be on your ass all the time and you just have to accept it. He loves to fuck you from behind because he’s mesmerized by the way your ass moves as he fucks you. His favorite position is doggystyle.

❥ A weird turn-on for him is when you walk around wearing his jersey. He fucking loves it when you wear his jersey, and he can see your lacy panties poking out under the shirt, it drives him wild. If you wear his jersey, he gets an instant boner.

❥ Sit. In. His. Lap. Sit in his lap and dry hump him. He needs it so badly. He loves watching as you struggle to get off on his thigh. You look so cute when you’re desperate.

❥ Definitely a brat tamer. He loves it when you have an attitude because he gets to fuck it out of you later, spanking you as he tells you how much of a brat you are and how you need to learn your lesson. You never do.

❥ Mirror sex. He’s mesmerized by how adorable you look in the mirror as your pussy struggles to take his girthy cock.

❥ “Yeah? Look at yourself in the mirror, princess. Look at how your slutty little pussy is taking me. You’re such a little slut, you’re my little slut.”

❥ “Did you think you could just walk around in my jersey and nothing else? Bend over, princess, right fucking now.”

❥ “I’m so fucking close, shit. You want me to cum inside you, princess? Want me to fill you up and give you my babies? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

❥ “Fuck, you know what red does to me. So fucking slutty for me, babygirl. Now get on the bed and spread those legs nice and wide like a good girl.”

❥ “Take it, fucking take it. That’s my good girl. I love it when you behave for me, princess. Can I get another one of you, my love? I think you can handle another orgasm.”

❥ “You look so pretty when you cum, princess. Do you like how your Morisuke makes you feel? Use your words, princess.”

[mosquitoonyourwall]

some squid game takes piss me off honestly so yall are getting a rant from me.

EVERY SINGLE PLAYER IS A VICTIM OF THE SYSTEM EVEN THE DISLIKABLE PLAYERS

regardless of how they went into debt, they are at rock bottom. throwing themselves into a death game for the tiniest chance to win big and pull themselves out of debt should never be a scenario. even players like namgyu, player 100, thanos, etc who vote to continue the games believe this is the only way. is it greedy, yes? but yk what’s worse, the fact that these games exist.

even if you lose all of your money in a manner that’s deemed immoral, you still don’t deserve to die. the players think that they have a choice, they really don’t. the moment that they sign those contracts, they become the race horses for the vips.

the vips represent our real life billionaires. the vips are greedy, self absorbed, perverted. they aren’t “helping” the players by betting on them. if they were good people, they would just be giving them the money to cover their debts no strings attached because they can afford to. anyone of us could end up in those games because that’s the point. we aren’t the billionaires. we will never be them.

i think that’s made exceptionally clear with in-ho and gi-hun as characters. despite their extreme wealth that they obtained in these games, they aren’t afforded the same protections as the vips because they will never be them. if they were, in-ho would’ve NEVER put gi-hun in the game because that’s putting the life of someone better than the average man on the street at risk. gi-hun, if he was on the same level as the vips, would’ve had the influence to talk to them and wouldn’t have to resort to hiring mercenaries and risking his life to stop the games. in-ho, if he had even the tiniest amount of power as the vips, wouldn’t have had to shoot jun-ho. he would’ve have been able to send him home unharmed. but that’s not what happened. it’s the vips vs everyone else. that’s the point.

the games rely on dumbing down the players to basic survival instincts, fight or flight, and then viewing them as animals because of it. you cannot blame the characters for killing others because they don’t have a choice. players killing other players is encouraged by the system. it’s entertainment for the vips, its all manufactured. the workers choose when tensions are highest and give the players glass bottles, or forks, or knives so lights out can begin. if namgyu wasn’t going to get the idea, it was going to be someone else.

this isn’t to say that you can’t dislike any of the players. trust me i don’t like some of the characters. that’s not the point. however, they are all victims. in the world that they exist in, the games are literally their last chance to fix their lives and that’s wrong. they are all victims of a classist, misogynistic, and racist society that puts the 1% above anyone else.

[ofeliaxoxo]

i bought sooo much paulos stock during the ausgp here were my favorite moments:

1) that video where paul sees like a stray thread on carlos' hoodie somewhere near carlos' shoulder/neck and literally goes to tear it away with his hands and basically the whole time he's doing that charles and carlos are making flustered eye contact

2) paul mouthing the correct answers to carlos during the quiz thing, taking carlos' side in being like "carlos said the correct answer before charles did" (even though the slow mo replay showed that charles clearly said it first lmao), and messing with the rules in a few other small ways to give carlos the advantage over charlie

3) carlos not really paying enough attention at the beginning of the quiz and charles getting like 3 in a row which made paul basically tell carlos to lock in. and you know what? after paul told carlos to focus he Literally Did. it was insane to see (i mean i'm sure carlos was also thinking like "ok these media duties are still part of my job paul is right i need to like be more engaged" but still). (this is also one of the moments that reinforced my firm belief that like… if carlos the control freak is comfortable enough with someone…… he would actually enjoy being told what to do………………)

4) the blindfolded challenge where after paul was blindfolded carlos touched his arms and went "this is your left hand and this is your right hand" like? girl he knows? they haven't changed just because he's blindfolded?? lamest excuse to touch a boy everrrrrrr come on carlos you could've come up with something better than that !

anyway good to see my investment is still paying off in 2025. i thought it was so funny how obvious it was (or perhaps how obvious paul decided to make it) that he liked carlos more than charles. i honestly believe that if carlos had realized that he would've legitimately invited paul to a race this season like as his personal guest. unfortunately i'm not convinced that he realized even after paul literally helped him cheat to beat charles at a silly quiz (i feel like generally speaking especially outside of the f1 bubble people are always doing things like that for carlos in part because… well. as paul himself said carlos is A Very Pretty Boy !!)

Well first of all I am of course romantically in love with you. This was the first thing I saw in the morning and frankly an ideal start to my day. Now let’s discuss PAULOS.

That moment is so funny to me because not only does Carlos not really know what to do, CHARLES is like hello??? Can he do that? Like neither of them are sure how to proceed but they don’t like it. Powerless to stop him tho. Two pretty Barbie wide-eyed car men unable to deal with Paul’s boisterous man swag. Why are these literal athletes getting out-masculined by this aspiring hipster/actor. Any threesome between them is just Paul playing with his dolls

(If anyone has this clip please send it to me!)

The challenges video is so funny because you can see how lowkey stupid Paul thinks it is. Like he dgaf he thinks it’s strange he does not care if he and Charles win the remote control car thing. Hes gonna play along but he is not going to buy into it. Hes not from the bubble of f1 and hes like. Ok. He DOES however want Carlos to win😭 he’s like Carlosssss cmon get the answers right I know you can do this. Charles CANNOT know more about the Roman Empire than you!!

Also yeah literally it’s so clear he prefers Carlos. Why girl what did Charles do is he just not your type lmao. All that for a couple minutes long game video. He was down horrendous. This video also endears Charles to me because he’s the only one who actually gaf. Like he’s YELLING the answers he NEEDS to win the Roman Empire quiz. And normally Carlos would be on that level with him but here he’s by himself and it’s kind of sweet lol. Paul is like Carlos I NEED to fuck you carlos is like when will we be done w ts I need a coffee and Charles is like THERE WERE FEMALE GLADIATORS I KNOW IT!!! In my mind palace we can do a situation with this dynamic where Charles is desperately trying to pretend everything is normal while Paul undresses Carlos with his eyes. Hes like I do not give a fuck at all btw. Do NOT write down that I give a fuck because I don’t!!

My ultimate suspicion is that paulos is tragically doomed because I don’t think Carlos cared back😔 I think Paul left him unmoved. Even Charles was like waow Paul slays such a cool guy and Carlos was like yeah #whatever I met him. Which leaves the floor open for a hilarious triangle where Paul likes Carlos, who likes Charles, who overcompensates and insists he and Paul get along sooo well.

Tldr: Paul needs Carlos so bad. But he’d have better luck with Charles in whom he is NOT interested lmao

[effietrinket1619]

So for ur Lanternfam TikTok’s thing! Jess is about to film like a meme or a challenge or whatever. And Hal actually knows it. Like before she can finish it he’s like oh I know what this is! And the other lanterns and the internet EXPLODES BC WAIT HE KNOWS ONE??? Probably learned about it from one of his nieces or nephews or smth

Also! Jess vlogs a nature hike and everything goes wrong!!! Bc it’s them!

Jess and Kyle talk in Spanish once! ONCE!! And the comment section is filled with omg that’s hot- but then in another video Kyle mentions smth about being Irish and the viewers are like? Wait-

Jess Vlogs a trip to a plane museum or car show and it’s a compilation basically of Hal or Simon just getting really excited or explaining things and the others looking at them like lol. Or exasperated as the trip goes on

Jess doing a like, planting and answering ur questions! Or smth and answering your questions idk. And then proceeds to not answer any questions. At all

There’s another video being filmed but someone walks by shirtless in the background and suddenly there’s so. So many edits. THEY WERE THERE FOR TWO SECONDS WHAT-

One of the older lanterns is helping Kelli with her hw and all u can see is Jess and Kyle laughing, but u can hear confused voices bc “this is not what I learned when I was in school. This is not how I did it when I was in school”

Anyways just some silly fun! Ty for feeding us with lantern content!!

-Gis

oh FUCK yeah

that challenge? the one that hal knows?? it's a hear me out cake. for those who don't know, it's literally a cake you stick pictures of people/things/whatever you would fuck. hal got it from helen who really wanted to see him do one and jess bluescreens for five seconds when he brings it up before jumping on the idea. and you know what? chaos. hal is unhinged at the best of times but he's putting shit on this cake that barely makes sense. a jet engine, godzilla, the colour green, ton-618 which is immediately followed up by a planet. simon's literally howling behind the camera, jess is barely keeping it together and hal is totally unrepentant. they keep coming: a picture of just a mustache and nothing else (which sends simon into further hysterics and now kyle's joining him) and then himself but in green lantern uniform. finally, there's one picture left. hal looks down at it and visibly pales. jess tells him he needs to put in in the cake. he's come this far. he cannot stop now. hal asks how many people are likely to see this video. jess omits that literally millions of people are following this channel. beet fucking red and sweating, hal puts down his final hear me out: the flash symbol. just the symbol. the video ends with jess staring at him, open mouthed, simon actively dying on the floor and kyle's cut-off shriek of "I KNEW I--"

jess is the only one thriving on this nature hike. john is close behind but he has to listen to the others complain and make sure they don't get themselves inadvertently killed. jo's here for the views and the pictures and trips kyle at irregular intervals for fun. kyle is barely awake and stumbling over everything in sight. keli has been shamelessly piggybacking off of guy for the last hour. guy himself is probably sunburnt as hell and refuses to admit defeat and slather himself up (he didn't slip slop slap seek and slide beforehand). hal's being totally insufferable about everything and simon is realising quickly that he did not pack enough water for this at all and jess might make them drink from a stream. it's a miracle they even make it back alive.

KSJFLA the audience find out about mixed people lmao. jess just can't believe they're that dumb and kyle can't believe she had to even try to explain it.

i think simon and hal at respective museums would be too powerful. neither would be capable of shutting up which, like, good for them honestly. they all come out of these ones knowing way more about exhaust pipes or whatever. forgive me, i was a dinosaur kid.

jess doesn't do get ready with me videos. she does planting videos and i like to think she's planting/pruning/caring for her weird alien plants during this and casually thwarting every single attempt they're making at murdering her. and yeah, she literally answers fuck all because all of her answers are cryptic as hell so she doesn't technically have to lie, even if jess is not above lying on the internet. but it's fun to say the most incomprehensible bullshit like, 'yeah, hal's ex was insane, he killed a bunch of people' and then never mention it again.

about ninety percent of the edits that are made of the lanterns are from two second clips of jess accidentally capturing them shirtless. she's seen enough of them to give her a goddamn migraine and the fact that dick grayson will occasionally send some to her doesn't help.

keli's learning quick that getting an education major to help with homework is actually a bad idea because apparently, it's been years since guy was a teacher and they goddamn changed everything. hal's equally useless. he stares at it, bent at the waist, like he's strategising on how to defuse a bomb but it's just english homework that's gotten keli frustrated and he has literally no clue how to help because he definitely didn't do this. eventually, keli buckles and goes to simon who's reliable and actually useful while hal and guy start their daily bickering session over how to best write an essay.

[clovdgyu]

#dan heng x m!reade #fluff (drabble) #dan heng, i just needed to write a fic for him

#just whole teeth-rotting sweetness, penacony is, well, all of the places in the dreamscape is now in the reality

#after deliberating for a few months now and your 3 months long distance relationship, you finally decide to meet him.

you: dan heng, where are you?

dan heng: at home. why? caelus and march are here. do you want to see them?

you: no, i want to meet them.

dan heng: meet? you're literally far from here, m/n. unless, you're here in penacony right now.

you: 🫣🫣

dan heng: are you really here in penacony? where are you?

you: in front of the clockie statue.

dan heng: i'll be there.

------

and just as dan heng sent that, he immediately zoomed about in his room as if he was the fastest running man on earth. "i have to go," dan heng muttered as he looked at his two best friends who raised a brow, looking at their friend for being suspicious.

march 7th placed a hand on her chin, thinking. "hm, could this be? are you cheating on your boyfriend, dan heng?" she exclaimed, caelus agreeing as he nods his head and crossed his arms with a disappointed look on his face.

the grey-haired male sighed and frowned, shaking his head. "i cannot believe this. for that, i will not tolerate your acts of infelidity. hence, i will tell m/n all about it," he pointed out, the tone of hid voice more angered.

"infidelity? i'm not cheating on m/n. in fact," dan heng stopped, contemplating on whether telling his two best friends or just leave them to wonder where he was going. but if he does, who knows what these two would tell you. he sighed and said, "just follow me."

the two jumped in excitement as they put on their shoes, caelus grabbing his infamous galactic baseball bat while march 7th grabbed her camera and placed her bow down near dan heng's coffee table. "what will happen today, i wonder," she mumbles.

the ravenette scoffed before sending you a text that his friends were coming with him, asking if it was okay for you to be seen by them. you said it was okay and you would even love to see his friends.

caelus and march 7th both got out of dan heng's hotel room first as they hummed the tune of robin's new song. "hey, dan heng, where are we going today?" the grey-haired male asked as he looked at dan heng expectedly.

"to the clockie statue. i have to meet someone there," he answered, a stoic expression in his face as they walked out of the hotel reverie. not kinding his slightly indifferent tone, caelus shrugged and continue to walk beside march 7th.

well, dan heng's been doing exceptionally well, hiding his boyfriend from his two best friends. he wasn't ashamed of your relationship, no way. he just knew that caelus and march 7th would pester him all about it and he'd never hear the end of it.

maybe this was the perfect opportunity to finally introduce you to his friends. as they walked towards the clockie statue, dan heng couldn't help but be nervous as his hands began to sweat. he was excited, really.

but he didn't know how you'd react to finally seeing him face-to-face. also, you were already handsome and pretty in your pics, then what if he finally saw you in personal. dan hen just knew he'd faint if you were too ethereal.

the figure of the clockie cartoon became more prominent and clear. the ravenette could see a figure just standing in front of the statue, their back turned towards him. those clothes, familiar. dan heng thought before finally realizing it was you!

and, as if forgetting about his friends, a small smile formed on dan heng's lips as he ran towards the statue, leaving the two confused but followed anyway. "ah, dan heng! wait up!" march chirped.

dan heng finally arrived at the bottom of the stairs and looked at your side figure. still too far for him yet already near. i wished he'd just turn around now. he thought.

as if you heard his thoughts, you turned towards the ravenette's way and saw him, offering him a sweet smile as you placed your phone inside your pants' pocket. "hello, dan heng. how've you been?" you asked him as you walked towards him.

when you finally stopped in front of him, looking up, words just weren't enough to describe how surreal it was. how bizarre it is to finally be able to see you in your flesh, not some pic. this was really you!

at the exact time, march 7th and caelus made it to the bottom of the stairs and saw you two looking at each other lovingly. "who's he?" march 7th asked as she and caelus neared you two.

you noticed the footsteps of two people, making you look behind your boyfriend and boy were they taken-back. you were so gorgeous! you were literally shining. who are you? "you must be march 7th and caelus."

finally remembering his friends, dan heng cleared his throat and faced the two. "m/n, meet caelus and march 7th, my best friends. caelus, march, i want you to meet m/n," he started before rubbing his nape, a boush evident on his cheeks. "my boyfriend."

march 7th and caelus blinked twice, thrice. they weren't seeing things, right? dan heng was being shy and—"wait, boyfriend?!" both caelus and march exclaimed as they looked at you.

"yes, i'm m/n. dan heng was my pen pal before we were boyfriends. it's finally nice to meet you two! he's been telling me so much about you two," you told the two as you offered a hand for them to shake yet they just looked at you, frozen in their spot as if they've seen a ghost.

you let out an awkward chuckle as you retracted you hand back, dan heng glaring at his friends for not shaking your hand. "hey, you're being disrespectful--"

"do you want to break up with him and come to me instead?" caelus spoke up while making himself look cool using his baseball bat. you were taken by surprise but you just laughed before shaking your head 'no'. "aw shucks. are you really...real? you look like a doll."

caelus neared you and began to poke your cheeks, march doing the same but with your hair. growing annoyed by his friends constantly invading your personal space, he groaned and pulled the two away from him. "sorry about them, m/n. they always behave like this."

you smiled. "i don't mind. at least that means your friends like me."

dan heng cooed at your smile before letting go of his friends and engulfed you in a tight hug. "you're really here."

"i am. you better believe it," you said before wrapping your hands around his figure as well.

[percyluvr]

hello!! you're fics r amazing and i wanted to request some hc or a drabble, you choose, about fem!reading being the head counselor of hermes cabin and totally being his fem version. thank u so much if u do 🫶🏻🫶🏻

percy jackson x hermes cabin counselor!reader summary: hcs abt percy with hermes counselor reader basically being him but as a girl

first, i think u two would be inseparable

like im talking sitting at each others tables during meals, training together all the time, sneaking off to go make out in his cabin when u really should be leading camp activities, sleeping in each other's cabins, etc etc

im just thinking of the iconic percabeth underwater kiss with u guys

with him using his powers to make sure u can breathe while u kiss, and teeth clashing together making u guys just giggle ur little hearts out

when u two go back to nyc for the school year u would live with him, sally, and paul and they would treat u like their own kid

they see how much percy likes you and how similar you two are and they cant help but think of u as one of their own

hanging out in nyc together, he teaches u how to skateboard bc he DEFINITELY knows how to

adding onto that, he would definitely teach u how to surf if u didnt know how

just thinking about if u also have the same music taste, u two dancing around the kitchen to ur favorite songs

making brownies together for estelle's school bake sales in the future!!! my heart omfg

back to camp, i think everyone would be worried if they ever saw u two not together

like im talking celebrity break up gossip page type all up in ur business

but then they see one of you sneaking out of the same place the other one just walked out of and they realize that u two were just trying to be sneaky???

but why

bc really u two have never been sneaky in ur entire lives

if either of u got picked to lead a quest, u would immediately pick the other as the first person to come with on ur quest bc u literally cannot live without each other

FINISHING EACH OTHERS JOKES

or just sentences in general

literally couple goals

like, if someone is talking to both of u, sometimes you'll make the same joke at the exact same time and laugh ur asses off and the other person will just like. stand there staring until they eventually just walk away bc u two wont stop laughing

like i just think u two are on the same wavelength all the time

if one of u forgets to do something, u dont even have to worry bc the other already did it for u

i saw somewhere that leo could probably tweak phones so the demigods can use them, and u two would both go to him to get phones so u could make each other ur lockscreen and background

i think the two of u would send each other the DUMBEST tiktoks or instagram reels

or like u would send it and then realize that the other already sent it or liked it

the two of u would definitely do tiktok trends

dancing together

u would DEFINITELY do the peeling the orange trend

and he would just peel the orange. no questions asked

like u wouldnt even have to ask him

he'd just see u with the orange be like "here baby give me that, i'll peel it for you"

SCREAMING HES SO BF

matching tiktok pfps for SURE

or matching bios !!!!!

u two definitely went to see the barbie movie together

i have no doubts

whenever he gets pranked by connor or travis, u immediately send them to laundry duty

but they still say its worth it because one time when u were sleeping in percy's room, they poured water on the two of u and both of u chased them around camp until u realized that percy had no shirt, and u had no pants

u werent THAT embarrassed bc like. everyone already knows anyway

but the stolls thought it was SO funny and they made it their mission to prank both of u again

when u two go on cabin inspections, even if u arent doing it together, u always give each other's cabin a 10 even tho u both know that neither of ur cabins deserve it ....

the two of u definitely sneak out of ur cabins at night when u arent together and sit down by the river, just to be met with the other sitting there with the exact same thought as u

and u end up going back to his cabin to sleep

u guys have definitely gotten yelled at by mr d and chiron

but u kept doing it

so they just gave up

but anyways, u guys r literally the it couple at camp

like, all the couples wanna be like u guys

ur just such a perfect fit & u love each other so much and u cant help but show it

a/n: this was my first time doing hcs and i think i kinda got a bit carried away... but anyways i hope u like it !! also, i love writing and im so happy that u like mine, it means so much to me <3

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part six.

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yourusername manchester nights

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garrettward luxury.

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user AIN’T NO WAY HE FINALLY POSTED HER

user girlies i hate to say it, but maybe this one’s actually serious… 🫢

↳ user i refuse to believe it…

↳ user he’s literally never posted another girl before tho??

user king of aesthetics

user i can’t believe he’s actually dating her

user what does he actually see in her?? like gen what is it cuz i cannot see it from here 😒😒😒

user she’s just using you for your clout garrett DON’T FALL FOR IT 😫 SHE’S NOT THE ONE THERE ARE BETTER FISH IN THE SEA

↳ user she’s fr just using him for the money and fame it’s so sad

↳ user right?? like he’s posting her which means he’s probably serious but i doubt she is and it’s just gonna hurt him in the end 😔

↳ user this is why i hate when celebs or athletes get with ppl who aren’t in the same sphere as them, cuz like if she were another celeb then we would know she has money or if she were actually a football fan then we would know she’s invested in helping him get better but she’s neither 🤷‍♀️

↳ user it hurts to see such an innocent man get used

user wait she’s actually kind of pretty tho 👀👀

↳ user she lowkey is

user can’t wait to see you back on the field soon garrett!!

user mad style bro

user came over from y/n’s account to say that you fans are exhibiting behaviour that is genuinely so immature and disrespectful. it’s sickening. you claim to support this athlete but you don’t support his decision to enter an exclusive relationship with someone? you say it’s bc she doesn’t know football or that she’s controlling or that she’ll ruin his career, but you know nothing about her and i’d bet you all would say the same thing about anyone. she could be a professional footballer herself and you would still say she isn’t fit to be with him. get over yourselves and bffr. none of you had a chance with him to begin with, and you hating on an innocent girl so much that she had to turn her comments off so she wouldn’t keep getting death threats is actually crazy. you all are delusional.

↳ user THIS. i’m so tired of the hatred

↳ user i’m honestly surprised garrett hasn’t said anything to his fans about them leaving her alone yet…

↳ user he probably thought GROWN ADULTS would know it’s inappropriate to act like BABIES but i digress 🙄

↳ user whether he thought they were mature enough or not, the fact that he probably knew it was happening (she’s his gf, there’s no way she didn’t tell him or he didn’t see the comments himself before she turned them off) and still hasn’t said anything is a major red flag imo. he’s posted her/acknowledged that she exists on his acc now, but he STILL hasn’t addressed the hatred his “fans” have been sending her and continue to direct towards her in the comments of his own post.

↳ user i think it’s a out of sight out of mind type situation tbh. if neither of them acknowledge them, then the haters aren’t given the attention they want. they might just be waiting for it to die down.

↳ user i don’t think that’s a good enough reason tho?? if i was a celeb and my significant other was being harassed by jealous and delusional fans, i would absolutely say smth and try to get them to stop, partly bc my s/o doesn’t deserve to be spoken about like that just bc they’re in a relationship with me and partly bc i personally wouldn’t want to see that type of negativity directed towards the person i care about. it’s a matter of respect for your partner.

“I’ll be honest with you, Garrett━ I don’t like you very much.”

The restaurant table you’re both sitting at is tucked away in a corner and gives you enough privacy to feel comfortable having this conversation with Garrett out in public. The restaurant itself is exclusive in its own right, similarly to the first place Garrett took you. It’s not as high class in the sense that you feel underdressed with business casual, but it’s the type of locale that other celebrities or higher class individuals tend to frequent and it makes you feel secure in the fact that the staff are trained to be discreet about anything they might overhear.

“But,” you shrug, “I don’t think you need me to tell you that.”

Garrett takes a slow sip from his coffee and raises an eyebrow at you over the rim of his cup. While he does so, you appraise him. The only other time you’ve seen him in something other than his training attire or some equally comfortable athletic-adjacent wear was the first night you both went out, and you hadn’t really been paying much attention to him then━ too focused on trying not to scream your head off in frustration.

He looks good though, which you’re loath to admit. Garrett, at the very least, has fashion sense if nothing else. If he were even half decent his style might’ve been enough to make up for the rest of the decency he’s missing, but as it stands he’s so far below the bar that his ability to dress nice only serves to get him within jumping distance of your lowest standards.

He lowers his cup back down the table with a faint clink, and then steeples his fingers together on the table.

“Quite frankly, Y/N━” the way your name sounds on his lips makes you shiver, but not at all in the way it’s described in the romance novels you used to read back in school. It’s like the human equivalent of your hackles rising, sensing danger, knowing you need to make yourself bigger to appear like more of a threat, “━I don’t really care what you think of me. This is more of a business transaction than an actual relationship. You don’t need to like me, you just need to pretend you do.”

He ends it with what would be a charming smile on anyone else, but knowing who he is beneath his charismatic facade makes it look sleazy.

You scoff. “For a guy who’s so desperate to fix his reputation, you sure aren’t doing anything to actually try and fix who you are as a person.”

It’s his turn to scoff. “I don’t actually need to be a better person, I just need everyone to think I’m a better person.”

“Fair enough.” You can’t argue with that. “But if I’m going to be spending a prolonged amount of time with you, you’re gonna have to at least pretend to not be a total dick.” You take a sip of your coffee.

He watches you for a moment━ observes your face, your hands, the way you tap your fingers against the table once your cup has been lowered. And you watch him right back. His steepled fingers have intertwined together, and he’s resting his chin atop them in a show of nonchalance, but his eyebrows are furrowed tight and his shoulders are pulled tense.

“What do you even want out of this?” He finally asks after another few seconds of silence broken only by the quiet drone of other restaurant patrons in the background. “What’s so important to you that it matters more than whatever notoriety being with me could give you?”

The Manchester skyline outside the window draws your gaze as you ponder how to go about explaining your answer. The storm-darkened sky casts the city streets below in a heavy shadow, which mimics your own mood as of late. It’s the weekend now, but Lando’s call and the things he’d drunkenly said still looms over you. You’d spent the week in a bad mood that not even your newfound friendship with Jack was capable of easing, and each day with continued radio silence on Lando’s end━ the fact that he can’t even bother to apologize himself━ only sours things more and more.

It had soured even more when McLaren’s PR team manager had reached out to you with the knowledge that you could plan on being back at the Technology Centre in Woking by the end of the month, in just under two weeks. In and of itself this hadn’t been bad news, but it meant seeing Lando again and unless he reaches out first to extend an olive branch, you could almost guarantee you’d be in for an uncomfortably awkward reunion.

But none of that matters right now.

“I’ll admit, I’m taking a page out of your book and being a prick,” you say as you turn back to Garrett. “But, in my case, it’s entirely warranted because he was a prick first.”

“What’d this guy do?”

In an odd turn of events, it feels as though you’re gossiping with Garrett Ward of all people. Without the context of your relationship with him━ the real one, not the one you’re pretending to have━ you imagine you probably look like two friends talking shit, or pretty close to the couple you’re supposed to be. Despite being such a twat normally, Garrett really does just come across as being a normal guy.

You have to remind yourself just what he threatened to do. He’s not a normal guy━ he’s dangerous. But he’s also a crucial part of your plan, and there was certainly some truth when he’d called things between you a business transaction. You don’t have to like him, but you have to trust that he’s got his own best interest in mind and you can certainly capitalize off of that.

“He had some choice words about our ‘relationship,’” you start, fiddling with the handle of your cup. “And even though we aren’t actually together and I probably wouldn’t touch you even if we were the last two people on Earth, it’s the principle behind it all. He has no right to judge me so harshly for my relationship choices, so I’m going to flaunt that I don’t care what he thinks, he’s not my keeper, and I will date whoever I damn well please,” you finish with a huff.

Garrett blinks at you. You’re starting to think he just has a staring problem, but before you can call him out on it he rolls his eyes, crosses his arms, and leans back in his seat━ looking the part of the smug douche he actually is. “You like this guy, and you want to use me to make him jealous because you’re pissed that he hasn’t given any hint at being interested in you but still feels as though as if he can be possessive over you.”

You blink at him. “No. Absolutely not.”

He raises an infuriating eyebrow.

“Fuck you,” you mutter into your cup, taking a sip to avoid having to say anything more.

Garrett heaves a sigh. “I suppose I could help you with that. We’ll be doing the couple shit anyways, might as well kill two birds with one stone and solve your problem and mine.” The way he says it makes it seem as though he’s doing you a favor, and if you weren’t so sure that he’d rescind his willingness to help if you argued with him, you’d call him out on the fact that technically he’s the one who owes you after you agreed to help him with his dilemma in the first place.

“Why not just be honest with him?” He says after another moment.

You snap your eyes back to him. “What?”

“Why not just be honest?” He repeats with a shrug. “Aren’t you worried he’ll lose eventually lose interest if he thinks you’re off the market?”

You scoff, “I’m not off the market. I’m just not available to the public.” You’d sat awake at night not long after things with Garrett began and realized that it really was all just an act. Actors kiss in front of a camera all the time, but at the end of the day they go home to their real partners and that’s the only person that really matters. Things aren’t all that different between you and Garrett. You call yourselves a couple, but side from the agreement that you’ll act like one in public, there’s no obligation or commitment to put one another first. Garrett will always prioritize his career, reputation, and friendships over you, and you’re rather inclined to do the same.

He purses his lips.

“Oh please,” you roll your eyes. “As if you expect me to believe you aren’t still planning to pick up a few birdies at the pub and show them a fun time.”

“My situation is different than yours. I’m the one trying to convince the media I’ve changed, which means I need someone who can be discreet, and a birdie from the pub certainly isn’t that.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Not getting laid for a few months is just a sacrifice I have to make to keep my place at Man City.”

You don’t mention that no matter what he does to try and clean up his act, Manchester City won’t be keeping him around after his contract expires. He wouldn’t believe you anyway, but even if he did you doubt he’d be all that willing to continue with this facade.

“More fun for me then,” you say instead, returning the smug smirk he’d given you earlier.

He glares.

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footballfansofficial UPDATE: Manchester City Forward Garrett Ward once again seen out in public with girlfriend and Formula One photographer Y/N L/N! The couple were caught sharing a romantic evening for the first time on the 5th of January, and have once again been spotted Saturday, the 20th, following Ward and L/N’s public posts on social media platform, Instagram. Ward has reportedly been making progress with his injury recovery, and is speculated to be rejoining the team on the pitch in February if all continues to go well. As the 2024 Formula One season draws nearer, it’s also expected that L/N will be returning to her McLaren roots, after working with Manchester City to photograph their winter training, which leaves fans wondering how their relationship will fare. Check the link in our bio for the full article!

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user i’m starting to warm up to the idea of them as a couple… 👀👀👀

user I WAS SO CONVINCED SHE WAS WITH LANDO NORRIS??? WERE THEY NOT EVER TOGETHER??? 🤯

↳ user i don’t think they were which is super shocking bc she posts him all the time on insta

↳ user i mean?? that’s technically her job?? as a photographer for mclaren she takes and posts pictures of the mclaren drivers. if you scroll across her feed she also has a lot of oscar from 2023, and carlos and daniel from their years with the team. she’s been working with manchester city recently too and has been posting the players as well. it’s just that she’s worked with lando the longest consecutively so ofc her account is gonna have him posted more than the others

↳ user LET ME BE DELUSIONAL I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THEY WERE SO CUTE 😭😭

user i really wish garrett would actually focus on his career instead of dating women bro’s contract ends at the end of the season and he doesn’t even seem bothered

user MAN CITY RE-SIGN GARRETT WARD 2024 🩵🩵🩵

user i hope the long distance makes them break up

↳ user me toooooo that bitch needs to get away from my man

↳ user he’s too good for her

↳ user be so fucking fr, she’s never had a scandal in her entire career but garrett ward has had dozens in just the past few years. if anyone is too good, it’s her 🙄

user MCLAREN WCC 2024 🧡🏁 AND MAN CITY TREBLE WINNERS 2024 🩵⚽️

user don’t hate me but i totally thought garrett ward was gay

↳ user ah, yes, most notorious casanova, known for his many nightly escapades with women, that’s 100% proof that he’s gay

↳ user idk that was just the vibe i got

↳ user be so fucking fr 💀💀

user will city even want to re-sign him after the season is up?? he’s been on loan for the majority of his contract anyway, playing in the championship of all things, and now he’s back but he’s missed a majority of the season cuz of an injury. i personally don’t think garrett ward stands a chance against the current starting forwards, so even when he’s recovered who’s to say he’ll play in any matches?? just seems like a waste for city to keep him around if he isn’t even being used

user if ward is actually cleaning up his act then good for him

↳ user real. all these ppl acting like she's suddenly changing him into a whole new person against his will, but none of them have stopped to think that maybe he WANTS to change.

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry @sideboobrry11 @d3kstar @mcmuppet @happylittlereader @casperlikej @5starl1ght @bellezaycafe @whentheautumnleavesfall @mess-is-my-aesthetic @ssprayberrythings @landosgirlxoxo @lifelessfan @81ja

━━ a/n: i did it! got this part done so much faster AND i didn't wanna rage while i did it 😌 feeling pretty proud of myself for that. anyways! hope you all enjoy!

[dear-ex-person]

Dear Ex-[insert relation here]

Welcome.

Do you have someone that you used to be in a relationship with (of any kind) but no longer are?

Do you have shit you'd like to say to them but cannot or will not for one reason or another?

If so, this is the blog for you. (<-help why am i being a commercial spokesperson person)

Whether it be positive things you wish to tell them, negative things, memories of them, or literally anything else, you can send it here.

Just drop it in the askbox with a "Dear Ex-[insert relationship here]"

this is starting because i was watching something about memories, remembered something my ex-bestfriend said after a concussion-scare about how dory was faking having memory loss. I wanted to text her. "remember when...."

so i started thinking of making a blog dedicated to things I wanted to tell her.

then i realized, why stop there? why not have it be for all the people in my life who i've either lost touch with or our relationships have soured.

and why not turn it into something where anyone can send stuff

seriously. this shit is healing (<-i swear im not just saying that to get y'all to interact with me)

[shootingstars244]

THOUGHTS ON TODAY'S CAFAE LATTE EPISODE (aka, what I think and don't think is happening to JC and why)

I don't think it's a relapse. JC was in Nicole's car and was on their way to her house after a dental appointment. They would've at least texted her to say they were sick, if they'd lie at all. Also, divination would work as JC can't block it themself and the charms in Nicole's car are hers so likely wouldn't register her magic as a threat.

I don't think that JC got arrested. There's a unicorn horn in Nicole's car and they would've had a phone call by then, likely to Bob, Cyrus, or Nicole to get them out or help them. Also, JC's location on their phone wouldn't be turned off and (unless the cops are particularly magical) divination would work.

I don't think that JC owes an evil fae. When they were introduced they were mostly clueless about the fae, if they had experience with a particular malicious one then they would be alot less likely to give Bob their name. Also, it would've been brought up by now as they are notoriously bad at masking their emotions so, even if they didn't want the help, the truth would've likely been dragged out of them.

Also, I don't think that JC got taken by ICE. Alongi typically references and includes themes to talk about them and their effects. Having JC get grabbed by the American organisation that is currently sending people to "camps" in El Salvador would be incredibly insensitive to the people who are currently genuinely suffering in horrific conditions.

Finally, CM Alongi has said in a newsletter a few months ago that she was planning for someone to be brought to the fae realm, specifically Bob's home kingdom Ivae, and has recently shown props that would indicate that. This makes the most sense to me because JC hasn't had anything paranormal happen to them directly yet. Yes, they practically throw themself at any theat but they're never really the target. Think about it!

-Nicole got mind controlled by Vlad

-Bob got cursed with bad luck after being held captive

-Rethu got a love spell lobbed at them + their nibbling was stolen

-Cyrus got fae-napped + Erik made a stupid deal with a coven

Each time, JC got directly involved in the situation but it wasn't targeted to them. Also, for a human surrounded by paras, they are scarily comfortable with their name being said and shared. Ergo, if they did get captured by the fae realm it would give Alongi a wonderful opportunity to exploit this.

Finally, the other character that constantly throws themself in danger? Bob. She's the powerhouse, the foundations and founder of the Cafae, she is the Iron Witch. If Alongi follows the Prologue of her unreleased book then she literally cannot help them as magic is in place to stop her from entering the fae realm. Therefore, it would objectively be the most dangerous situation the Cafae crew have been in.

Additionally, JC would be considered the weakest and the least useful by fae standards. Most of the Cafae are paranormies so, even though Drek isn't exactly tough, they have magical value. The ones who are human (Nicole and Husniya)? Husniya has links to human authorities and formal training and Nicole is a practiced witch who was able to take down a faeire circle within a month or two of training. JC, however? Isn't magic at all and the only fighting training they've were gangs and juvie. To the fae that Bob rebelled against, they are just a man (epic the musical ref.). They are just a human that Bob has taken a liking to, potential bait, and they have no magic to protect them from the fae.

[lancerslover]

a brief glimpse into senator kennedy’s office…

pairing: senator!john f. kennedy/reader

warnings: 18+, pretty much immediate smut, swearing

word count: 995

a/n: this is just a quick random drabble while i finish the bobby and jack fic. it literally came to me in a dream. i guess it’s kinda based on the stories about jfk’s two secretaries “fiddle” and “faddle.”

thank you to the anon who suggested i start doing drabbles!! i’m going to start doing these more often between my longer fics

When you walk into Senator Kennedy’s office, he’s on the sofa, his suit jacket strung over the back and his tie loose around his neck. Next to him is your coworker Jane, wearing nothing but her underwear, holding an unlit cigarette between her fingers and trying her best to grab a lighter back from the senator while he playfully holds it out of her reach.

“Hi,” you say, placing a pile of letters on the senator’s desk. Handling, sorting, and delivering the letters from his constituents takes up most of your time since he receives around 800 letters every day, almost twice as much as any other senator in the building. A large portion of these letters are from women, a fact Mr. Kennedy sometimes likes to jokingly boast about to his senator buddies, especially when the content of said letters involves a woman gushing over how “fantastic” he is or asking him to come over while her husband’s at work the next time he’s in Boston.

“Hey, hun,” Jane says back.

You two don’t have time to say anything more because the senator is grabbing your wrist and pulling you toward him, looking up at you with that lazy, toothy grin. The grin of someone who’s used to getting whatever he wants without even having to ask.

In a flash, you’re in his lap. He’s talking against your cheek: “God, sweetheart, what took you so long, huh? I missed you when I got in today. I’ll tell Ted to stop sending you out on those assignments. You’re much more useful here with me.” You know he’s just telling you what he thinks you want to hear, but still, your heart is singing.

He tears the straps of your dress down around your shoulders and tosses your bra aside while you fit yourself onto his cock. You wince. You’re still a little sore from yesterday.

But you forget about that the moment he starts thrusting up into you. You’re consumed by the way he fills up your stomach and how your clit rubs against the fabric of his shirt, and the way his panting breaths, wet on your ear, mix with your choking gasps. You don’t even care that Jane is just a few feet away, puffing on her cigarette as she nonchalantly twists her stockings back on. As the two youngest, prettiest girls on the senator’s staff, you’ve both become used to these kinds of situations. He’s always had a habit of beckoning either one of you into his office a few times a week, but ever since he started on these new libido-increasing painkillers, he’s been calling you both in every single day, usually one immediately after the other. Probably because once he gets himself all riled up with one girl, he simply cannot resist the temptation to have another, almost like someone with a sweet tooth being unable to say no to a second helping of dessert.

Sometimes, when he’s in one of his ornery, let’s see how far I can push people moods, he’ll call you both in at once and ask you to make out with each other or something. You’re glad he isn’t in one of those moods today. You don’t necessarily mind kissing Jane—all you really want is to make the senator happy—but, for obvious reasons, you much prefer to do stuff with him.

His big, rough hands are needy and eager—squeezing your throat, then rubbing your breasts, then holding your thighs, then cupping around your butt. Teasingly, he curls his fingers into the crack between your buttcheeks and pulls them apart, which makes you pucker and squeal, which makes him chuckle.

He usually makes these guttural grunting sounds every time he heaves himself inside you, but sometimes a little whimper will escape him. When this happens, it worries you because you think he might be hurting himself. You know he takes those painkillers because of his bad back, and you don’t want him to over-exert himself on your behalf. But there’s something primal and matter-of-fact about him during sex, like a dog marking its territory before going about its business, that makes him not have time to think about his physical limits.

You don’t dare mention your concerns to him, though. You once saw him lash out viciously at an aide who’d simply tried to help him with his crutches. Everyone around him cowered. He’s quite frightening, and you told him so a few weeks ago while you and a few other secretaries were walking with him down to the capitol building. You thought hearing that would stroke his ego. And you’re pretty sure it did, even though all he did was throw his head back and laugh and say, “You silly girls are frightened of everything.”

Now, you’re saying, “Please, just like that. Oh, Mr. Kennedy, god, yes” because you know he likes that. Right on cue, you feel his skin getting hotter against your lips. He picks up his pace. You feel like you’re going to melt and drip all over him.

“Ugh, fuck,” he says then, a little too loudly. Then he glances at the door and grits his teeth, annoyed at himself. “God fucking dammit,” he says, much softer. You see him make sheepish eye contact with Jane, who’s now sitting at his desk. She chuckles before going back to flipping through a draft of his upcoming DNC speech.

The senator turns away from her. After a few moments of watching his cock pump in and out from between your legs, his brow furrowed in concentration, he looks back up at you with heavy-lidded, lust-drugged eyes. He licks a bead of sweat off your breast, and that’s enough to finally push you over the edge. You bite down on his shoulder as you cum.

He finishes inside of you only a few seconds later. He doubles over, groaning into a clenched jaw, holding you to him with a hand on the small of your back.

thank you for reading!!

fic taglist:

@evie-gets-bitches

@kennediva

@secretwonderlandcheesecake

@melancholicstation

@southernpopprincess

@maudesgf

@neverellaxx11

@astro-vibes-bro

@h-l-vlovesvintage

@fortheloveofjos

@saturns-flowers

@raspberryknees

[utilitycaster]

In a recent post you mentioned that safety tools are a means and not an end, and "that misconception is already a massive problem". Could you expand on that?

I have my own feelings about the use of a lot of Safety Tools; primarly, that a lot of groups are focused on *just* implementing them but not do an effort into reducing triggering topics, putting all the weight on a singular person speaking out (Such as with X's and O's), but I'd love to hear your feelings on that matter.

So I may be misunderstanding you, and I also am not sure if you mean X and O cards by X's and O's, but if you are saying the issue is that safety tools require people to speak out...that is actually the thing I think they are good at doing, and I think any tool that doesn't place the weight on individuals speaking out will actually cultivate at best a generic one-size fits all dull table and at worse will be actively less safe.

My issue is a lot of people are more interested in the aesthetic signaling of safety tools - in "being a person who uses safety tools" rather than being a person who actually facilitates a process at their table that creates a safer space. You do not actually have to do a formalized X card or Lines and Veils process; you could just have a session zero conversation that says "hey, if you ever need to step away, or stop the game because you are really uncomfortable with something, that's cool and you should feel as though you are allowed to do this, and if there's anything right now that you know you are uncomfortable experiencing please let me know now so I can proactively avoid having it in the game and other players know not to pursue it; if you'd prefer you can send this all to the DM who will put out an anonymized list." I've had people attack me online for saying that I don't use X cards in virtual games because I straight up won't see them in time, but I tell players they can drop off or ask me to pause or stop; I am actively trying to protect my players by telling them how to signal me, but because it's not The Tool Some Stranger Not At My Table Prefers, said strangers have decided this is a bad thing.

Ulltimately though, and this is crucial enough for me to bold it: it is literally impossible to have a safety tool process for TTRPGs that avoids players having to speak up. Your table cannot read your mind. A card that encourages positive things does not actually help, in my opinion, because the DM still has a story to tell and part of stories is conflict and they can't just keep doing the one thing you like - not to mention that one person's O card might be an X card to someone else. This also assumes a set of for lack of a better term "standard" triggers (ie, many people don't want to have themes of sexual assault in their games; many people have arachnaophobia) and places an even higher burden on people who might have very specific triggers that are often not given the same weight or seen as a problem by most people. Some tables might explicitly want to explore difficult topics. (Related to this, but, I side-eye a lot of highly specific content warnings on shows or books because many of them also assume a very specific and standard slate, and I know people who have triggers that are consistently ignored and not warned for because they don't fit into the Normal Slate Of Things A Nebulous Group Has Decided Are Triggering.)

Safety tools should place the burden on the people at the table to speak up; but they should also serve as a signal that this is a place where you will be respected and listened to when you do. However, even among loving friends, there is no way to make a safe place for yourself without advocating for it. Any safety tool that claims to avoid individuals speaking up is a scam and a lie. But that is not what I'm talking about, I'm talking about people who get mad if you say "I don't use a card system, but I let people walk away without question and I listen to my players' feedback."

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Small idea thing may or may not be canon to my story

Yan! Dion agriche x fem! Reader

Arranged marriage

Warnings: slightly implied slight codependent behavior, jealousy, mention of murder attempt(s), mention of past murder, toxic familial (?)relationships, toxic marriage/relationship, some yandere themes probably. Please tell me if I missed any.

NSFW kind of warnings: suggestive and implied dub-con-ish, and definitely a sexually frustrated Dion

Can be read as it's own thing not sure if I'll include this in main story so POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR 'HELP I REINCARNATED AS THE FEMALE LEAD'S SISTER-IN-LAW"

MINORS/BLANK BLOGS/BLOGS THAT DON'T INTERACT WITH FANDOM RELATED THINGS DNI

I couldn't get this out of my head and I just needed to share it so bad it was eating me up alive.

==

Lowkey think Roxana would pour affection (platonic) at you just to annoy Dion aka small bouts of revenge once she realizes he has a soft spot for you (aka stealing your time, smiling sweetly at you, maybe even make physical contact via pushing your hair back or the very rare looping her arm around yours as you walk in the garden together. Inviting you to dinner sometimes when Dion returns from a mission, getting in his way of his own little goal of spending time with you. Basically becomes your 'bestie' (she denies she cares about you but we all know that's a lie) and enjoys the glares Dion sends her way whenever you're having fun with her and not him.

And truthfully, despite knowing she's using you for something, you enjoy her company after a while. However, you're unable to fully give in and become essentially a sister to her or a 'bestie' because at the end of the day, she is still Roxana Agriche, an Agriche and general and you genuinely cannot see yourself becoming an important person to her or anyone else, still thinking everything is a test to see if they should dispose of you or not.

And while you're aware your husband has a 'thing' for you or even 'love's' you, he's still an imposing figure, still a man who didn't blink twice at killing his own half-brother and would gladly kill one of his step-mothers just to see Roxana cry. So, really, despite your smiles directed at the blond and your sparse forms of 'affection' to your husband, you don't really accept what they show you. Because at the end of the day, you grew up in two very different environments and you are not meant to be here. Your definition of 'love' is vastly different from their own and while Roxana knows how healthy 'love' is supposed to be, it's been so long since she's received it properly. Meanwhile Dion has a hard time understanding it still.

The story has been changed enough. And you're not sure if it should change some more.

And maybe it's because of that you unknowingly refuse to see just how soft Dion Agriche is with others (no where by much, just by like 00.6% since they're not you. ) had become ever since you entered the scene. Because if you acknowledge it then you'll start to see him as a decent person - everything he is not.

Also Jeremy would literally crash any alone time you have with Dion out of both spite for him (he's too weak to fight him just yet + Roxana probably doesn't want them to fight and he's her #2 fan - Cassis takes 1st place and you 3rd.) And some werid younger brother like affection he has for you.

And Dion would definitely steal you away once the opportunity arises and if they were normal siblings he would stick his tongue out at Roxana but since they're traumatized af they just glare at each other so sharply it could cut skin. Proceeds to awkwardly show you affection that both makes you uncomfortable and feel some pity for him because damn, Maria and Lant are horrible parents. If he acts nice enough he might get a kiss on the cheek before you scamper away otherwise (from experience) a make out session you really shouldn't enjoy breaks out but he still gets cock blocked by someone OR you stop him once his fingers start to undo the strings on your dress or his kisses travel to your neck instead, and his excitement is very much noticeable via his actions and the budge in his pants he doesn't even bother trying to hide. Sure, he's very attractive. However, pushing the fact you're still wary and/or 100-80% scared of him aside, he's big and it hurt badly the first time and you really, really like having working reproductive parts and the ability to walk + your gut tells you that there's a chance he won't stop at one (1) round.

Every night you stay up questioning if you're actually in a coma and not reincarnated.

After all, why else would these people concern themselves with you? Why else would they start to get closer to you? Why else would Dion Agriche proclaim that he's your dog?