#I live for vampire GLaDOS

[i-lived-bitch-beatdown]

[ashley-kins]

Kin list and info

~Fictotypes~

I am a spiritual fictionkin, meaning I believe in past lives and that I lived as certain characters in a different universe. That being said, this is the list of IMPORTANT fictotypes of mine. Ones I have stong connections to for one reason or another, these I believe affected me to my very core of my soul. If you don't like a source I'm from, that's a YOU problem, not a me problem.

🔀 = Canon divergent

If a source has multiple endings or universes, I'll write the ending/universe in parenthesis next to the source)

Ashley "Leyley" Graves - The Coffin of Andy and Leyley (Decaying Along)

Colin - CHANGED (True End)

Cyn - Murder Drones

GLaDOS - Portal

Linkle 🔀 - Age of Calamity/Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom

Midna 🔀 - Twilight Princess

Neuro - Vedal's Twitch

Pride/Selim Bradley - Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Rachel Gardener - Angels of Death

Rei's Buneary/Lopunny - Pokemon Legends Arceus

Rouge the Bat - Sonic the Hedgehog (all medias)

~Otherkin and Theriotypes~

Unlike my fictotypes, these are psychological and not spiritual. However, these identities are caused by my time as certain fictotypes.

Demon

House Cat

Robot/AI

Shadow being

Vampire

Wolf

[erose-this-name]

what it means to be human

The common correct definition of the word "human" (according to science anyway) is HOMO

No, not like, gay, (unfortunately). I mean any member of the Homo genus. Homo sapiens, Homo neanderthalensis etc.

Yes, the Neanderthals were human. There used to be many humans. We, the Sapiens, are just the last remaining human species.

But we don't remember a time when this was not the case. So we often conflate "humanity" with "species" with "sapience" with "personhood". (even though just calling ourselves human is the common usage and was also the scientific usage until a century or so ago, but still)

So what is and what isn't human?

This is an issue in my own writing (which is why I wrote this post). Since it's a speculative evolution project, I use the scientific meaning of human, which is to say only ever as a collective term for all the humans. There are many species of human which are people, there are humans and species of humans which are no longer people, and there are people that are not human.

All monsters are inhuman, that is a given regardless of how inhumane they are. Though I feel like "subhuman" has no accurate applications, though. "Human" should not mean superiority.

Unless the monster has human origins like a werewolf or humanimal, etc, in which case they would still be human. But they may no longer be people if they are emotionless, mindless, not self aware.

I don't know if a "soul" is required for personhood, certainly not for humanity. Mindless zombies may be reanimated with a soul, therefore have a soul, but that doesn't make them a person. Vampires usually do not have souls, but surely are still people.

Anything evolutionarily descendant from anything once called a human is still a human, even if they no longer resemble one. Kinda like how all birds are dinosaurs.

I don't know if Pinnochio can become a real human, taxonomy can only be inherited by birth and Pinnochio was not born. But I can say that becoming a real boy can not change the fact that he was already a person. In fact, he was always a real boy as well. Gender and sex and humanity and personhood are of course separate.

Likewise, I'm not sure if human minds uploaded to mechanical or didgital bodies like the All Tomorrows Gravitals or in SOMA cease to be human or not, though I lean towards them losing humanity but not personhood. But most 40k Necrons do lose both personhood and Necrontyr-ity (they weren't humans to begin with but aliens) as they are made into mindless machines. But cyborgs retain humanity if they retain any human flesh.

Elves/Dwarves/Halflings could possibly be humans, depending on if they have some kind of shared origins with us.

Hence why I don't like calling the "Human" """Race""" in fantasy settings "Human", especially if the "humans" in that setting are Just White People™ because then we're normalizing the idea that only Europeans are Humans and that only Humans are people and the obvious logical conclusion to that.

An intelligent self-aware robot capable of all the emotions we have like GLaDOS, AM, etc is not a human, of course not, but it is a person. Not being human makes them no less deserving of life or rights. But, because they are not human, we will surely treat them like objects when they are made. And they may feel the need to act accordingly.

Bottlenose dolphins, which scientists have found to also be sapient, and self-aware, and quite intelligent, and can use tools, even have their own languages and cultures must surely also be people.

But, because dolphins are not human, we have decided they are just animals and their lives and quality of life are worth much less than ours. We can strip their oceans of all value leaving only pollution, deafen and blind them with ship motors, and even kill them without consequence. We don't even have the decency to call what we've done to dolphin pods "peace keeping", let alone war. But it's "crimes against humanity", not "crimes against people".

Say what you will about dolphins, accounts of them raping each other and abusing pufferfish are well known, so they aren't always nice people. But neither are we. Dolphins are also known to save drowning humans and fight off sharks to protect their pods. Doesn't that only prove they also have the same free will we do? Why is it that when we finally acknowledge their humanless personhood, so close to ours, we feel hate and disgust?

If/when we find intelligent aliens, will we do all this again?

And if the aliens or elder gods or whatever it is find us, will they have the same issue? Will they consider Humans underserving of life and land just because we aren't Alien? Will we deserve it?

[jerktournament]

Jerk Tournament ROUND TWO

We've got some funny-looking match ups this round.

Polls come out when I finish them, and I'll make an announcement the day before they go live. They'll be queued for 12 AM EST the day following the announcement.

There's no right or wrong criteria for who to vote here because trying to establish that via Tumblrpoll is useless. You can vote for someone because they're your favorite, because their propaganda swayed you, because they look cool, or because they're the meanest. Just think: Do You Want Them To Emerge Victorious? Or are they such an ass you'd delight in seeing them get swept?

I highly encourage taking the time to read some propaganda. These guys have lots of love behind them.

And last but not least, be nice to other people on the internet. These polls may be for asshole characters, but that gives you no right to be an asshole back. Anything attacking the fans or fandom of a character will be executed via firing squad.

Thanks for your patience and let the whooping continue.

Tag directory // Inbox, for propaganda, questions, chatter, etc.

Round Two matchups, in text:

Zote the Mighty (Hollow Knight) VS Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Magic Man (Adventure Time) VS Gary Smith (Bully)

Theseus (Hades) VS Murdoc Niccals (Gorillaz)

Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh!) VS Dennis Reynolds (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)

Tybalt Capulet (Romeo & Juliet) VS Ankh (Kamen Rider OOO)

Berdly (Deltarune) VS Louie (Pikmin)

Sentinel Prime (Transformers Animated) VS Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)

Herbert P. Bear (Club Penguin) VS Bakugou (My Hero Academia)

Goro Akechi (Persona 5) VS Yesod (Lobotomy Corporation/Library of Ruina)

Vriska (Homestuck) VS Five Pebbles (Rain World)

Dio Brando (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure) VS Dr. House (House M.D.)

Dan (Dan VS) VS Hank J. Wimbleton (Madness Combat)

Catra (She-Ra) VS Azula (Avatar the Last Airbender)

Shen Jiu (The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System) VS GLaDOS (Portal)

Harrowhark (The Locked Tomb) VS Rinne Amagi (Ensemble Stars)

Owen Harper (Torchwood) VS Heather (Total Drama)

[sarcasticgaypotato]

Let's be honest though, if GLaDOS were a vampire, she'd try to sneak bites on Chell in her sleep and when Chell woke up, GLaDOS would say "Those are love bites."

(( Hey @unnameddoc, I hope you don’t mind but I might’ve written a little something for this AU of yours. ))“I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.”A low grumble escaped Chell before she even opened her eyes. A part of her was tempted to just pull the covers back up and fall back asleep, but she could feel at least four sore spots across her neck, as well as a particularly fresh one that still had a drop of something warm running down her skin.She didn’t need to look at it to know that it was her own blood. Not an alarming amount of blood, but just enough to remind her that someone wasn’t as subtle as they thought they were.There was a soft chuckle from somewhere next to her, and Chell could feel a hand trailing up her arm, unnaturally cold fingers dancing across exposed skin.Reluctantly, the hunter cracked an eye open, being met with the sight of a vampire practically hanging over her, a playful look in her golden eyes, and a suspiciously red tint on her lips. She looked as guilty as could be, red-handed and caught in the act, yet she didn’t seem to care in the slightest, simply feigning offense and offering a mock-offended response.“Oh you don’t mean that.”Her voice was smooth and silky, and the downright enticing tone of it almost made Chell agree with her, if not for the fact that the vampire’s pointed fangs glinted in the low light, reminding Chell why she was annoyed in the first place.It wasn’t even morning- of course it wasn’t, Gladys was practically nocturnal- and the last thing Chell liked waking up to was figuring out that she was being snacked on.  She had enough trust in Gladys to know the woman wouldn’t kill her with any of this, but that didn’t exactly make it feel any better.“If you were fully dead then I wouldn’t have to wake up with blood loss and a headache every morning.”Her voice was rough and almost gravelly from a general lack of use, standing starkly in contrast to her companion’s almost sing-song like tone. She had a voice like a siren, though Chell was quite thankful she didn’t have the abilities of one.With a low huff, she rolled over onto her back and fully met the vampire queen’s gaze, raising her hand to her own neck and catching the droplet of blood before it stained any of the blankets.  She held her now slightly blooded fingers up in front of her, looking at Gladys in an accusatory manner.“Love bites darling, don’t be so suspicious.”If Gladys was trying to look or sound innocent, she failed quite miserably, a cat-like smile flashing across her lips before taking Chell’s red-stained hand and bringing it to her mouth, deliberately taking her time to carefully clean the blood off, clearly enjoying herself quite a bit.Chell swallowed, feeling that her throat had suddenly gone very dry, tearing her eyes away from the undead woman and forcing herself to let out another grumble and keep up her annoyance without falling victim to her partner’s admittedly effective attempts at distracting her.“Keep your love bites for when I’m actually awake.”And with that she pulled her hand away and rolled back over on her side, making sure that she pulled the blankets up over her neck before closing her eyes again and trying to get comfortable, knowing full well that she could expect at least two more marks of ‘affection’ by the time she woke up.

[blas-i-us]

Tag games, yes!!Thank you @polar-stars!

Top 10 favorite female characters 1 per fandom

That red haired vampire goddess from shokugeki no soma

Nishikino Maki - love live

Sombra (Olivia Colomar) - Overwatch (this girl is awesome btw)

Rose Tyler - Doctor Who

Chloe - Detroit: become human

Asahi Takiguchi - Mahou Shoujo site

GLaDOS - Portal

Suzume Hojo - Shokugeki no Kimiko

I ran out of female characters...I honestly prefer males and my tastes of a good girl character are hard to be satisfied

I want to tag @liesweliveby, hope you don’t mind

[sillyroxas]

Tagged. Wat.  OwO

I was tagged by emmathehalf-bloodhunter

Thanks so much for tagging me. This really made my day x3

Rules: Answer 20 questions and tag 20 followers you would like to get to know better!

Name: Sillyroxas (Not too fond of idea sharing my real name. Shy bastard) Nicknames: Goldfish, Kaboose, Kelmen Zodiac sign: Scorpion Height: 172cm Ethnicity: White Orientation: Bisexual Favorite fruits: I can’t eat that many fruits I that I could pic a favorite... Favorite season: Winter <3 Favorite books: The lost world, Judgment brigade, Necrocomicon. Favorite flowers: Roses, I guess? Favorite animals: Penguins, turtles and pandas. Favorite beverage: Coca cola. Average hours of sleep: About 6 hours.. I’m living too busy life. Favorite Fictional Characters: I will name just a few: Reno (FFVII), Rude (FFVII), Jack, Jeanette and Theresa (Vampire Masquerade: Bloodlines), Calia Sakaresh (Enderal), HK-47 (Knights of the old republic), Kyle Katarn (Jedi Knight games), Glados (Portal), Virgil and Superintendent (Halo 3: ODST), Axel and Roxas (Kingdom hearts games), Femshep (Mass Effect).... Number of blankets you sleep with: Normally just one but now I live in cold ass apartment so 2. Dream trip: Antarctica, Africa, Japan, Mongolia and Tibet. Blog created: I think it was 2013..? My best friend made this blog for me. Number of followers: 105.

@nanna-melissa , @heartbeat-clockworker , @lovennah

I could tag more people but I’m lazy ass.. I tried though c:

[i-lived-bitch-beatdown]

[sarcasticgaypotato]

Just in time for the spooky season; my first thank you fic! Prompt given by @moonwatcher13 who requested necromancer AU fluff, thank you so much for the generous donation, and I hope you enjoy!

Chell had been dead for a long time.

Years turned into decades since her heart last beat, and her lungs last drew breath. By the natural order of things, she should’ve been six feet under, with bones turned to dust. And yet? Here she still was. Pulling herself up off of her bed, and stretching her eternally stiff limbs in an attempt to chase the grogginess from her mind. The sun had started to disappear behind the tops of the trees, casting the world in long shadows and encroaching darkness. The rest of the world’s day was ending, which meant Chell’s was only just beginning.

As she walked, slowly and silently, through the cold stone halls of the castle she called home, she found herself dwelling briefly on what got her here. Rather, who.

An elf as pale as moonlight, as sharp as a blade, and mad as anything. With her piercing eyes of gold and blue respectively, and her hair as white as bone. GLaDOS was as intelligent as she was dangerous, and as dangerous as she was curious.

She was always pushing. Pushing the limits of what she could achieve, of what was allowed. She found limits and shattered them, for better or for worse.  Chell was the result of one such test; her greatest experiment to date. Bringing the dead back to life.

Chell had long said that it hadn’t been worth it. That she would’ve been better off staying properly dead, and that GLaDOS would’ve been better off not living with an unholy beast.

But GLaDOS never heard a word of it. She always dismissed Chell’s laments with assurances stated like facts, so certain that she had made the only choice possible. Chell knew that that certainty came, at least in part, from love. GLaDOS was hardly shy with her affections, willing to kiss even a bloodstained, bloody maw with unabashed enthusiasm.

Yet, as Chell approached the room that GLaDOS called her study, she had to acknowledge that GLaDOS’s refusal to regret her creation came out of stubbornness too. To doubt the existence of her undead lover would be to admit failure in her experiments. And given that GLaDOS had told Chell just how many times even her initial resurrection had failed… Well, it was no doubt that GLaDOS wanted a success, and this was as close as she could get.

Of course, that experiment had taken place years and years ago, and GLaDOS had moved on to new things. She was never satisfied, never able to lull in one state for too long.

She was always hungry, and Chell could relate.

Inside the fire-lit study, Chell poked her head in to see GLaDOS moving back and forth, flitting from her desk to her caldron, scribbling down notes before hurrying back to throw something else in and watch the reaction.

She didn’t even seem to notice Chell as she came in, her head much too deep in her work, and a face full of colored steam no doubt helping to obscure her vision.

Chell didn’t mind it, at least for awhile. She was relatively content to lean against the doorway and watch her partner with an unblinking gaze, basking in the sight that was GLaDOS truly in her element.

But after awhile, Chell started to get...antsy. She resisted the urge to tap her foot as GLaDOS went about bottling whatever her new creation was, all without giving more than a brief “Oh, hello Chell.”

Slowly, Chell slunk over to where GLaDOS stood- leaning over her desk and pouring over her notes- unable to be patient any longer as she wrapped her arms around her lover’s slender waist, and let out a low, impatient sound. After waking up alone- as was a frequent occurrence when she slept throughout a whole day- it was only natural that she wanted some quality time with her beloved. 

“Come now, you haven’t been waiting that long.” As GLaDOS spoke, a hint of amusement mingling with exasperation, Chell moved to rest her chin on the elf’s shoulder, only to stop and pull back at the sudden sound of a hiss that wasn’t her own. Tucked away in the folds of GLaDOS’s robe and wrapped around her neck like a scarf was one of her pet snakes that raised its head and reared at Chell when she got too close.

It took more self control than she wanted to admit to resist the urge to bare her teeth and snarl back in response, keeping her head back and instead settling for glaring daggers at the albino reptile until GLaDOS slowly coaxed the thing down her arm, onto the desk, and then sent it slithering off into the shadows to hunt. 

With that taken care of, Chell wasted no time nuzzling close, breathing in deeply as GLaDOS’s scent drowned out that of the rather pungent potion in the air around them. 

She tried to close her eyes, to stand there peacefully and simply drink in the moment of GLaDOS’s warm body pressed against her unnaturally cold chest, to enjoy the feeling of her rather small partner in her arms, safe and sound and right where she was supposed to be.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t relax. A nagging little something prickled in the back of her mind, reminding her with every passing moment of the now unguarded expanse of flesh only inches away from her mouth. 

She blinked heavily, as if the action would push away the thought from her mind. She wasn’t starving, she would eat when she needed to. There was no point in interrupting such a nice moment, so Chell bit her tongue- not literally, she had learned the hard way that such an action was ill-advised- and waited. And waited.

GLaDOS was taking forever. And she kept fidgeting, moving in and out of Chell’s grasp to grab tools and tinker even further.

It was about half an hour into all this when Chell made up her mind. Saving the usage of her voice for an apology instead of asking permission, she gathered GLaDOS slightly tighter into her arms, and pulled her backwards, stumbling for a moment before plopping herself into GLaDOS’s desk chair with the elf in question on her lap.

“Chell!”

The warm satisfaction in her otherwise cold chest was more than worth GLaDOS’s scolding tone and the light smack on her shoulder.

“If I had been in the middle of handling something dangerous-”

“You would’ve managed it.” “Yes, I would’ve thrown it on you and documented the results.���

Chell felt her lips curl into a smile. Surely GLaDOS could wrap up her work like this just fine, and then Chell could get her meal. Of course, as she leaned forward and pressed her lips against GLaDOS’s neck in a gentle kiss, she couldn’t help but think that a little taste in the meantime wouldn’t hurt…

“Don’t you dare.”

A raspy whine escaped Chell’s lips before she could help herself.

“I need to finish recording my findings and I don’t want to be falling asleep in the process. My experiments are more important than your impatience.” “...’s only tasting…”

“Sure you were.”

Reluctantly, Chell resigned herself with a grumble, licking her lips restlessly. She knew GLaDOS had a point, a vampire’s venom was a sedative, and was hardly the thing that one wants in their veins if they weren’t ready to take a nap. 

Still, it only would’ve been a little nibble…

In truth, GLaDOS wasn’t working for all that much longer before she capped her ink pot and set down her quill. A glance out the nearby window and a look at the moon’s position still rising in the sky meant Chell had barely been awake for an hour in total. But it felt like an eternity.

Which was, perhaps, what made it all the more satisfying for GLaDOS to finally turn around and shift in Chell’s lap, wrapping her arms around her neck- and as always not shying in the slightest from the awful, blackened wound- and meeting her gaze with a languid smile.

“See? Patient vampires get what they want.”

There was no time to waste in meeting GLaDOS’s warm lips in a quick kiss, Chell savored her taste, and offered a please and thank you all in one, anxiously waiting as GLaDOS shrugged her robes to the side enough to display more of her neck in a silent invitation.

Chell tried not to rush, flexing the muscle of self control that had taken her years to build and still needed work to this day. Instincts told her to lunge, to bite immediately and to drink her fill quickly. But what remained of her rational thought urged her otherwise, to instead leave a trail of kisses down her partner’s jaw to her neck, to be gentle and slow. To bite only after going over every available space with affectionate offerings, and to bite gently.

There was a time and a place for a hearty bite, to relieve the urge of a vicious, powerful chomp. But all it took was a look at the still healing wound on the opposite side of GLaDOS’s neck to remind Chell to take this one easy.

A purr rumbled from her chest as she felt the warm rush of blood against her teeth and tongue, sinking her fangs in just enough to prompt a proper blood flow before she pulled back, bringing her tongue forward instead to lap at the beads of blood as they appeared.

GLaDOS shuddered in response to the cold sensation, and Chell grasped her hand and squeezed it gingerly, rubbing her thumb along her partner’s pale knuckles. The chill wouldn’t be so bad once Chell’s mouth began to warm a little, stealing the heat from the living to possess in her own icy form. 

As she lingered in the space, lapping and nuzzling, drawing out the experience longer and longer, it was impossible to ignore the older marks on GLaDOS’s neck. The violent, jagged scars from years ago, flesh permanently branded with Chell’s signature. It was sobering, and only pressed her further into the affectionate touch she had the control to give. 

It was a lucky thing that GLaDOS was who she was, Chell thought. Had she not been so eager to wrap her arms around a dangerous undead, long before Chell had been able to temper herself to be so gentle, Chell wasn’t sure if she would’ve ever gotten to this point. For any other living person out there, eagerness to cuddle up with a corpse would’ve been hard to come by.

But Chell counted as many blessings as a vampire could have that she had somehow landed herself with someone who was more comfortable with Chell being dead than Chell herself. Someone who didn’t freak out as venom dulled her senses, but instead simply yawned and snuggled closer, continuing to run a hand lazily through Chell’s hair. Someone who was content to sit here with her for hours, to tangle herself lovingly in Chell’s cold arms with nothing but joy in doing so.

Someone who loved her for who she was, not in spite of it.

[sarcasticgaypotato]

(( It’s more angst. For necromancer au with @bondibee )) GLaDOS was fine.   Her life was different than before, but GLaDOS was fine. Chell avoided her, but… that was fine. It wasn’t. GLaDOS only saw Chell once every few days.  When the vampire absolutely needed to feed, she’d seek GLaDOS out- GLaDOS made never made herself hard to find, offering herself up more than willingly- spend the few minutes it took to drink her fill, and then disappear off into the castle to lock herself away in the cellar again. And now, with Chell’s teeth growing in, and this newfound venom in her bites, the whole process had just gotten more efficient, and faster.  GLaDOS often could rarely get in a ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ before Chell was gone and GLaDOS had nothing but the bite on her neck to remember her by. She didn’t even remember the last time she had said ‘I love you’ to anyone but an empty room. But this was just… what Chell needed. This was her choice, she was still just settling in, she needed space.  Sure it had been months but these things took time.  Chell was still adapting to this new life, and once she did, things would go back to normal.  She might still need blood to survive, but she’d be able to scoop GLaDOS up in her arms, hold her, love her.  Kiss her with that mouth instead of always biting, perhaps actually hold a conversation again. That day hadn’t come yet, but… it would. GLaDOS had to keep telling herself that. She studied Chell as best she could, despite having to do it from afar. She poured over books, recorded her findings, ran as many tests on saliva and blood as was possible, and threw herself into whatever work would keep her busy enough. Whatever could keep her brain busy. Distracted. Because it was when she was sitting in bed alone, with nothing to do and nowhere to hide that everything came crashing down. When she looked at the empty spot that Chell had once claimed, the ever so slight indent in the bed where the former knight had used to sleep every night, with her arms wrapped oh-so protectively around GLaDOS’s much smaller frame. When she pressed her face into the pillows on Chell’s side, hoping to still catch some trace and remember the scent the woman had possessed before the stench of decay had taken over. When she clutched said pillows, digging her nails into the fabric, and letting a hoarse sob be pulled from her throat. That was when her world crumbled on top of her.

Sometimes it was easier to be furious. To scream, to punch the headboard of the bed, to throw books and papers to the ground, to smash an inkpot against the far wall and watch it shatter, to curse whatever powers that be for doing this to her. Angry at the world, angry at Chell, and angry at herself, her failures. Rage was easy. It burned hot and fast and sapped her of her energy.  She got all her fight out, and then collapsed into bed, too exhausted to stay up and think anymore. It was the sorrow that was far, far more difficult. When the weight of her actions settled upon GLaDOS’s shoulders, like boulders they slowly began to crush her under their weight. Suddenly, breath came hard and heavy, like her lungs had filled with fluid, and she choked and sputtered, trying to gain a grasp on herself and her senses. Tears cut paths down her cheeks, burning her skin with their shame like acid, and staining her sheets as a mark of her weakness. Her cries echoed throughout the halls, the cold stone walls warping and twisting the sound. A mournful, lonesome howl, heard by all the castle’s inhabitants, no matter how hard some of them tried to bury themselves away where they could not listen. It was one such night when GLaDOS found herself interrupted by a knock on the door. Only for a moment did she stall her sobs, hold her breath to listen to the sound.  A metallic knock. A strange, empty sound. She knew to whom it belonged, and it wasn’t the person she wanted to see.  But even as she ignored it, the knocking did not cease.   Eventually, without her sending them away or letting them in, the door cracked open regardless.   GLaDOS pressed her face into the pillow she was holding it, letting it muffle her ragged breathing and soak up her tears, pointedly ignoring the not-so-quiet clanking footsteps trotting up to her bedside. “...Go away.” Her voice was far raspier than usual-to the point where she found herself bitterly thinking about how much it reminded her of Chell’s typical gruffness- and she hated the way it wavered despite her attempts to hold it steady. Several ethereal chirps met her in response, hollow and distant, despite coming from directly beside her.  But she was not met with the sound of clunking footsteps leaving her room. Instead, she heard the shifting of metal. GLaDOS looked up, eyes embarrassingly red and puffy, and was met with an outstretched hand, and a piece of parchment, sealed with wax. Beside her bed were two suits of armor. The two polished, shining metal figures were lively with movement, shifting in place, tilting their helmeted heads.  But no humans resided within. Thin wisps of colored smoke escaped their otherwise empty joints, and nothing but a faint colored glow resided in the place their faces should’ve been. She was responsible for the two of them. Needing someone to practice with before she brought Chell back to life, she had wanted to test the waters.  So, she pulled long dead souls from beyond, and shoved them in suits of armor, curious to see how they would react. To say they were shells of their former selves was an understatement.  GLaDOS had no idea who these two might’ve once been, as nearly everything about them was destroyed in her first fragmented attempts. But she would not have called them complete failures.  They were sentient, but blank slates. Easy to shape into the creatures she needed them to be. Helpers around the castle, someone to fetch her supplies, hold open a book, or just… listen to her talk. The time before she succeeded in bringing Chell back was a lonely one.  A corpse that followed her commands with nothing but deafening silence, able to stand next to GLaDOS while she spoke, listening, but unable to really hear. These two were a bit of a relief.  They could not speak any real language, but their chirps and chatterings became something that GLaDOS could roughly translate the meaning of.  She had longed for intelligent conversation partners, but… at the time she had been able to settle for someone who was just able to listen, comprehend, and earnestly respond of their own free will. When she finally succeeded with Chell, GLaDOS thought… she wouldn’t need these two anymore.  She’d have someone to help with her studies, someone to talk to, someone to fill the lonely void. Of course, just because someone can be with you doesn’t mean that they will. And so, as time passed and Chell never truly returned to her rightful place at GLaDOS’s side, the elf decided that perhaps these two experiments could stay.  They kept her sane, if she was ever there in the first place. But this, this was new.   They had never come into her room uninvited like this before, and last she checked, neither of them knew how to write. So, letting surprise and confusion momentarily block out her grief, she look the letter that was being offered, and carefully began to open it. Upon unfolding the parchment, she realized that there were several sheets, each covered front and back with surprisingly neat handwriting that she did not recognize. But the name, signed on the last piece of paper that had fallen to her lap as she tried to sort through the pages, that she couldn’t mistake. Chell. GLaDOS’s heart caught in her throat and she looked up to her two metallic companions, looking for some kind of answer. They chirped, pointed to the letter, then pointed at the floor.  The cellar, deep underneath their feet.  Then, they gestured to themselves, then to GLaDOS. Chell sent them with that letter for GLaDOS, just recently. GLaDOS stared at the two of them for longer than intended, uncertain what to say or how to react.  It was only after the taller of the two chirped again, and nervously pointed at the letter that GLaDOS snapped herself out of it, and began to properly read the thing. The suits of armor shuffled out of the room, but even as they closed the door behind them, GLaDOS knew from the lack of their loud footsteps moving down the hall that they were waiting just outside, no doubt curious as to what GLaDOS’s reaction would be. Normally she would’ve ordered them to leave, but as her eyes began to scan the first paragraph in front of her, all thoughts of the two nosy spirits instantly left her mind. GLaDOS would have never known what to expect from Chell’s writing. They had lived together, rarely apart long enough to warrant writing letters to each other.  Even if Chell had never been the most talkative sort, she had spoken with her actions.   If GLaDOS were asked to assume what Chell’s writing ability was, she would’ve ranked it average at best, if not slightly below.  Someone who rarely played with words off their lips no doubt would have difficulty spilling them onto a paper. But as GLaDOS read the carefully crafted letter in her hands, she realized that she could not have been more wrong. Whatever words were trapped behind tightly closed, icy cold lips, was all here. Thoughts that stewed in that brilliant head of Chell’s, feelings that still lived in a no-longer beating heart. Nothing like Chell’s current avoidance, her letter seemed to want to never leave GLaDOS’s focus.  Chell filled each page with sentences more flowery and poetic than the last, clearly making no attempt to edit or shorten her thoughts as she solidified them with ink. It was the most beautiful thing that GLaDOS had ever read, and by far the most painful. Paragraph after paragraph, Chell lamented her existence.  She wrote of how she longed for life as she once knew it, even if only for one day that she could spend in GLaDOS’s company, in complete safety.   She told of how she wanted nothing more than to gather GLaDOS in her arms, and hold her tight to make up for lost time, but feared nothing more than doing her elven lover any more harm than she already was. And what hurt the most- what brought fresh tears to ruin her recently dried eyes- was just how much Chell wrote ‘I love you.’ As if the undead woman were attempting to make up for the lack of the spoken phrase all in one letter, as if it could fill the empty that her absence had created. No letter could replace Chell. No words, no matter how gorgeously crafted, could be as good as simply having Chell in her arms again. But that did not mean that GLaDOS clutched the papers any lighter, or that she wasn’t holding them close to her chest as fresh cries were pulled from her throat, bittersweet in their tone this time, although just as painful. They were all she had now, the last reminder of the person that lived beneath the hunger. The lover inside the undead, whose influence could poke through in writing, but not when they stood face to face. These letters could never be enough, but for now they had to be.

[sarcasticgaypotato]

I periodically go through periods of playing the sims obsessively, then don’t touch it for months on end.  And basically every time I end up playing with some kind of Portal family. Frequently ChellDOS. And yet I’ve only played with the pre-made, obvious Portal-reference family like once or twice?? That one is fun and all, but they make GLaDOS an actual robot, and honestly you haven’t lived until you’ve made a vampire GLaDOS, put her in fabulous dresses, then have her snacking on Chell whenever possible in the most stupidly sensual way. (And also have her absolutely terrorizing the other humans in the town of course)

[sarcasticgaypotato]

What if as a vamp au prompt: glados just chills out during the day at Chell's place sometimes and when she gets home glados is lying on the bed like "oh you want to sleep am I in the way?" and refuses to get up so Chell just lies with her (idk i just love this au)

(( I love this idea, haha. Vampire!Gladys being akin to some kind of cat is really funny to me. Being more of an annoyance to Chell than a real threat.))(For @unnameddoc​‘s vampire/hunter AU, be sure to check out the fantastic art they’ve done for it! I love exploring the world they’ve created in my writing, and hope to do more of it in the future.)Chell didn’t think she’d ever see Gladys again. Or at least, she hoped she wouldn’t.  She knew that if she saw the vampire Queen again, they would likely be on opposing sides once again, and Chell would be forced to do what she couldn’t do the first time.And, despite everything, she didn’t want to kill Gladys. Not unless she was posing a danger to innocent lives.  But if she kept her promise and kept to the depths of the forest, then all would be right.Chell didn’t expect to see Gladys again. And she most definitely didn’t expect to see her so soon.

It was practically morning by the time Chell had trekked out of the forest and across town, making her way to her small home on the very outskirts of town.  A simple cabin, made of sturdy wood, and heavily protected.  The door was covered in heavy duty locks, and enchanted with spells to keep almost every manner of spirits out.She undid each lock one by one, ensuring that none of them had been touched in her absence. Of course, they hadn’t. Nobody came to visit her, and certainly no one tried to break into her house.  It was lonely to live like this, but loneliness was more than accepted when the payoff was a sense of security.However, the moment she opened her door and stepped inside, Chell knew that something was wrong.  The way the air seemed disrupted, how there was a tension lingering over her shoulders. Not a single item in her view was out of place, but nevertheless, she knew that someone was here.Reaching for her weapon, she narrowed her eyes, stepping lightly as she moved to do a sweep of the house. It was a tiny place, so it wouldn’t be difficult. If someone was hiding, she’d find them.There was no one in the small dining area, nor in the main room, or where she kept her weapons.  That left her bedroom as the last option, which was likely the most appealing place for someone to hide. In the closet, under the bed, or even waiting right beside the door to ambush her when she walked in.Gripping her crossbow, she practically kicked the door down, eyes narrowed and finger already resting on the trigger, as her heart pounded with the excitement of a coming battle with who or whatever managed to get past her defenses. Her eyes darted around the room to spot the intruder, expecting some assassin or thief, dressed in black.She did not expect to see a woman in her bed, dressed in… nothing.For a moment longer than she cared to admit, Chell was dumbstruck, simply staring forward as the wheels in her brain turned, desperately trying to make sense of what she looking at.Pale skin- too pale- only partially covered by Chell’s bedsheets, which were precariously placed across the visitor’s form, doing next to nothing to cover it. Long limbs, stretched out so comfortably it made her look like she lived here.  And finally, glowing golden eyes, lidded and fixed on Chell.“Well look who’s home.”Gladys’s silky smooth voice snapped Chell out of her thoughts, and slowly, she lowered her crossbow, lips twitching into a confused frown.  She didn’t need to speak a word to get her question across, fixing the vampire with a steady look, making sure she kept her eyes focused on the vampire’s face, and no lower.‘What are you doing here’Gladys feigned hurt, a hand coming to rest over the place where her heart would’ve been, if she had one.“Such hostility! Here I thought we had something between us.”As Gladys spoke, she purposefully stretched out a little more, letting the sheets fall off her body, and making sure that her limbs took up as much space on the bed as possible.“It’s already dawn, surely you weren’t planning on sleeping? That’s not good for you humans you know. A proper sleep schedule is crucial to good health. I just figured that you wouldn’t be using this until tonight, so you wouldn’t mind my being here.”Chell cautiously walked over to the bed as she listened to the vampire Queen talk, placing her crossbow gingerly on the nightstand. She did not fear for her life. Not while Gladys was like this.  As strange as it was, Chell had come to pick up on the vampire’s mannerisms during their time working together. Not in the way she had before- a hunter learning the movements of its prey- but instead, picking up on the more casual moments. She learned what Gladys’s moods were like, and this was not a particularly dangerous one.With a huff, she got to work removing her outer clothes, placing all of her travel supplies and her cloak to the side, not caring to put them where they belonged, finding that she was plenty satisfied leaving them in a crumpled pile on the floor.She was exhausted, and she was going to get some sleep. “Oh you are going to sleep? Am I in your way? Now that’s unfortunate-”Gladys had begun to speak, her words dripping with amusement as she seemingly planned to tease Chell with her presence.  But to her surprise, Chell didn’t care. Or at least, didn’t care enough.  Rather than trying to move the Queen, Chell simply crawled into the empty space on the bed, lying next to the vampire without hesitation.She had her weapons close at hand, and she slept lightly. If for some reason, Gladys tried something, Chell would be ready.The bigger problem was not the fact that Gladys was a vampire in Chell’s bed, but rather, that she was naked.Chell could only hope that wouldn’t affect her dreams.