#I mean it is but it could be replicated without it

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Sign of the Times - Carlos Sainz

<word count - 1652>

It had only been a week, yet it felt like a dragged out lifetime of pain and suffering. The time that you had spent apart from Carlos had been the worst hours of your living memory, yet it would be for the rest of your life. 

The two of you had broken up after a 4 year relationship that was filled with love and laughter. The split was allegedly amicable, well, that was what you told yourself to make you feel better. If you forced yourself to believe that you didn't want him anymore either, it would make this easier.

But it didn't.

You spent every last minute mourning the loss of the man who you were certain was the love of your life, and you still weren't convinced that he wasn't. You had had a few, short-term boyfriends in the past, but none of them even held a candle to Carlos.

Even when he was the busiest man on earth, whether it be due to race weekends, sponsorship obligations or personal commitments, he was always there. He was the perfect shoulder to cry on, the comfiest pair of arms to fall into, and the most beautiful face to think of before you went to bed every night.

There was something between the two of you that you felt could never be replicated with another partner, the fire seeming forever quashed. The flames had died out, and they couldn't bribe the doors to heaven on the way to the sky this time. Still, you had to try and push it all aside and live your life, even when there was half of it missing. 

Against your better judgement, you had decided to take Carlos' offer of attending one final grand prix as a final goodbye to the life of big cities and fast cars. Each second that ticked by of your journey was miserable, to say the least.

Normally, you'd be on the flight with Carlos to whatever fancy hotel the team had booked you into and ready for another weekend of adrenaline. That wasn't an option this time, it was more nostalgia with a bitter sweet sting. 

All of this was for the last time. You wouldn't be going to a race again, you wouldn't be stood in the garage again, you wouldn't be the girlfriend of the F1 superstar, Carlos Sainz, ever again. Well, you could attend races again, but that didn't mean you wanted to.

From the moment you touched down at the airport to the second you flopped down on your hotel bed, everything was a blur. You didn't quite know whether it was because you weren't concentrating, or because your eyes were hazed over with tears, or because of the humid Mexican heat. But, it wasn't clear either way. 

You decided not to go to practice and qualis, not wanting to look at Carlos unless he was driving for an hour and a half straight. That would give you time to slip away so that you didn't have to see him in person. That would make you sob and look like a wreck in front of everyone. 

You couldn't help but watch qualifying on the TV, and you hated the smile that tugged at your lips when you saw he was on pole. The pride that swelled in your chest was something that you wish you could push down and ignore, but that wasn't possible.

You saw that smile on his face as he went for his interview, and that glint in his eye that appeared when he was really happy with his performance. If things were as they should have been, you would have gone and kissed him senseless and told him how amazing he was, despite the fact that he already knew it.

He'd spend the night in bed, planning out every last race detail that he could to make it as successful as he could, and you would be fully content with just sitting there and watching his mind work. It was really brilliant to see Carlos do what he did best, and it just showed that he was made for it. 

"Why do you always just sit there and watch me?" he would ask each weekend, without fail.

"Because I like looking at you," would always be your response, and you always got the same reaction. He'd put his notes down and wrap an arm around your waist, tugging you into his lap so that he could kiss you until you couldn't breathe.

Just the thought of it made it feel like there was a hand squeezing your throat as tears welled up in your eyes. You turned the TV off, not even bothering to get changed as you tried to force yourself to go to sleep. 

Your pillowcase became wet with tears as you silently sobbed yourself into a fitful slumber, your mind forcing you to watch your favourite memories of Carlos while you were unconscious. Even in your sleep, you couldn't escape the evocations that haunted you like a ghost on halloween. 

Eventually, your alarm went off and you wasted no time in getting up and getting ready. The routine was numbing, but it gave you something to do. If your brain could focus on something else, then it wouldn't be thinking about Carlos. 

Giving yourself a once over in the mirror,  you saw your normal self. Your hair was immaculate as ever, your makeup was flawless and you were dressed in one of those pretty sundresses that Carlos had always loved. But, the spark was missing. The glow that you had was dimmed out, like when the clouds sat in front of the moon. 

At least clouds could blow over, and you were hoping that that could be the case for you. The gloom would eventually fizzle out and return to the brightness that you were used to. Then, you'd be able to carry on with your life and somehow get to be the best version of you, even when you were missing the best part of you. 

You arrived at the track early, taking the familiar path to the garage and sitting down at the back. A team member handing you a set of headphones, and you got comfortable for the long-haul. You could have gone and wandered around the pitlane and grid with celebrities and journalists, but you didn't want to be seen. 

Finally, all of the drivers were in their cars and you got to see the five red lights go out for one more time on race day. It was time for the final show. You'd been here before and it was what you knew, but it didn't make it any easier to endure. 

The time had passed by within a flash, and you didn't want it to be over. You wanted to stop the hands on the nearest clock just so that you could take it all in for one final time. It was true when they said that you don't realise what you have until it's gone, and it was really hitting home.

The life you were living was the life that dreams were made of, and you hadn't fully appreciated it until it was being ripped away from you. You wanted to dig your nails in and grip onto it harder, hold onto it for longer, claw it back for a minute more. 

The joy that everyone else felt when Carlos crossed the line in first place was palpable, but not reciprocated. As much as you wanted to leave and bid it a not so fond farewell, your feet stayed rooted to the spot as the team cleared out of the garage to parc ferme to greet Carlos when he parked up. 

On the screen, you watched as he leapt into their arms, fist punching at the air. You wanted so desperately to be happy for him, but your attempts at forcing such emotion were futile. All you felt was anguish. You realised that coming here wasn't delivering the closure that you thought it would, but it was too late. 

Someone in the team had dragged you out to the podium ceremony, unaware of the status between you and the Spaniard. You didn't want to be there, not in the slightest. Seeing him so happy while you were utterly miserable was a slap to the face. It was like he had taken a scalpel to the barely healed over wound, slicing it clean open again. You felt the familiar burn of tears pricking the backs of your eyes.

As the Spanish anthem played, his eyes scanned over the audience. For a brief moment, his eyes locked with yours and you knew that it would be the last time. You could tell that he had seen the tears as his expression softened, but that was all he gave you. Carlos could have been holding it together, but you knew him better than that. He didn't think you'd be there, that was all.

It really was a sign of the times, and your week of convincing yourself that this was amicable was now up. If you had the option, you'd take him back and never let go. Just as quickly as his eyes had met yours, they were on the other people in the crowd. 

It felt like you had meant nothing to him with the way that he was able to skim over you so easily after such a fresh breakup. The Italian anthem transitioned in, and the team was jumping and singing along on all of your sides. You would have joined them, but there was no point. You could have joined them, but there was no point. You should have joined them, but there was no point. 

The tears that you had been holding in all day ran down your cheeks like the droplets of champagne dripped down Carlos' face. You couldn't help but cry. He used to be yours. But he wasn't. Not anymore. 

A/N - I was so tempted to call this a 'Sain' of the Times but I thought that the joke didn't fit the story lolll. If you've reached this far, a reblog on this would be greatly appreciated, and so would a read on the mafia Charles series, which you can find here.

Also, I need some ideas since mine aren't hitting, so drop any that you have in my inbox! Love y'all 💖

|masterlist|

[frobby]

lets call this this the gag manga cinematic universe

When i think of a yohaji x mairuma crossover its kind of impressive to me how much i think iruma would vibe with haruaki's class, so much so that if (current) iruma had been in yohaji from the start i dont think he would be out of place

[lanternlightss]

missing venti hours

[forcedhesitation]

druckmann's michael bay movie product placement garbage will never be the brilliance of end transmission, and misses the fucking point of sci-fi entirely...in just a teaser trailer. but what else do we expect from a hypocritical and spineless slime like him, really?

[kaleschmidt]

Tgp tkp au with the tkp main 6. Can anyone hear me [also I'm on mobile so I can't preface it ij the tags I've already written but GOOD PLACE SPOILERS IN TAGS]

[buckyseternaldoll]

Five Seconds, Five Years (Part I)

header from: pinterest

✮⋆˙ Part II | Part III

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes proposed just days before the world ended — afraid he might never get another chance. Then he vanished in Wakanda. Five years later, he’s at your door — unchanged, while your whole life has moved on. Some love survives time. But what happens when life doesn’t wait?

Disclaimer: Heavy emotional angst, pre-Blip tension, mentions of impending war, proposal made under fear of death, sudden character disappearance (Blip), ambiguous loss, spiraling grief, trauma resurfacing, no body or closure, emotional collapse, breakdown depicted in detail, survivor’s guilt, mentions of Steve Rogers relaying death news. **This story stretches between several timelines in MCU (only loosely, not to be strictly following the year gaps)

Word Count: 4,543

The morning started with a light shower of rain.

You watched the droplets race each other down the windowpane, your breath fogging the glass as you leaned against the frame. Then—two soft knocks. You didn’t need to look. You already knew.

“Hi, doll,” Bucky said, voice low and warm with something close to reverence.

His hair was slightly damp from the spring rain, curling around his ears in a way that always made your fingers twitch to brush it back. His hoodie was soft and old, the sleeves bunched around his forearms—one solid and familiar, the other sleeve empty, folded and pinned neatly at the elbow. He looked tired—not in the physical sense, but in the bone-deep way someone looks after wading through ghosts every day. But he smiled for you. A small, worn smile that still made something in your chest ache with love.

You stepped aside without a word, letting him in, and he walked in with the quiet of someone who knew exactly where he was going. The apartment hadn’t changed. Same lamp with the crooked shade. Same couch where you both had fallen asleep watching movies at 2AM. Same coffee table with the scratch he’d accidentally left with the blunt corner of his missing arm that first night you kissed.

He dropped his overnight bag beside the door, exhaled slowly, then turned to you.

“Still like chamomile?” he asked softly.

“Still need it to sleep,” you replied.

And just like that, like every visit before this, he melted into the space like he belonged. Because he did.

—

He never stayed long.

A few days at most—just long enough to fold himself back into the quiet corners of your life, like he’d never left. Just long enough to remind you what peace felt like in the shape of his hands.

Wakanda was still healing him—carefully, gently, methodically. Shuri had done the impossible, reworking HYDRA’s programming strand by strand. But even she said: healing isn’t a machine you can fix. It’s something you relearn, every day.

So he came back to New York when the shadows got too loud. When he needed something no vibranium tech could replicate. You.

He told you once, on one of those nights when he curled into your sheets like a man too big for peace, that he didn’t remember what love felt like before you. Only that with you, it was quiet. Safe.

“You don’t pull me out of the dark,” he said. “You just sit with me in it.”

You had no idea how much that would come to mean.

—

The night he proposed, there was fear in the sky.

You tasted it in the wind, felt it in his kiss—like the world was holding its breath, and he was holding you in case it collapsed.

He held you longer that night. Kissed you slower. Touched you like he was tracing every line of a goodbye letter he hadn’t written yet. You were half-asleep on the couch, your leg draped over his, one of his hands resting gently on your thigh while the city pulsed beyond the window. Everything felt like static—like something just out of reach was about to break.

Then he pulled a small velvet box from the pocket of his hoodie.

“I know this isn’t perfect,” he said. “It’s not candlelight or champagne. But I’ve spent so much of my life losing time—and I won’t risk losing this moment.”

He slid down to one knee, right there in the living room, ring in one hand, his other hand cupping your cheek.

“If I go… and I don’t make it back… I need to know I at least asked.”

“Marry me,” he said. “Let me go into whatever’s coming knowing I finally did something for me. For us.”

Your tears soaked his collar as you nodded yes and whispered, “Come back to me. I’ll be here. For you—always.”

—

You stood on the fire escape with your back to his chest, the city humming below.

It felt like a goodbye disguised as a promise. And you let yourself believe there’d be another hello.

He didn’t say much that morning. Just pressed his lips against your shoulder. Just held your hand like it was the only thing keeping him together.

Before he left, he turned to you one last time, eyes impossibly soft.

“After this… if there’s still a world left—let’s get out of here,” he murmured, his voice low, steady. “Seoul, maybe. You always said you wanted to see the Han River.”

You blinked at him, caught off guard. “You remember that?”

He nodded, smiling softly. “You used to watch those Korean dramas in bed. Said you loved the way it looked—couples walking under cherry blossoms by the river, taking the KTX cross-country like it was something sacred. You said the peace there felt… quiet. Not empty.”

Your heart clenched. “I was learning the language. Thought if I really wanted to understand it all—the place, the people—I’d have to go live it. Not just dream it.”

“Then let’s live it,” he whispered. “I want peace. But more than that… I want you in peace.”

You kissed him once more.

You didn’t know it would be the last.

—

You didn’t see him disappear.

You weren’t even awake when it happened. The sun had barely risen over New York when your phone buzzed—once. Then again. Then relentlessly. The group chat with Sam. News alerts. A voicemail from Nat with no words, just labored breathing and distant shouting.

You sat up slowly, still in his hoodie, the ring box on your nightstand untouched from the night before.

Then came the knock.

Three times. Firm, deliberate.

You already knew.

You opened the door and found Steve standing there. Still in his suit. Mud on his boots. A small tear in the shoulder of his uniform. His shield wasn’t with him. His eyes were red-rimmed, jaw clenched so hard it ticked like a clock.

“Can I come in?” he asked softly.

You stepped back.

He moved like someone walking through wet cement—slow, deliberate, as though every step hurt. He looked around your apartment like it was sacred ground, his gaze falling on the framed photo of you and Bucky laughing in Central Park. He swallowed hard and finally sat on the edge of the armchair.

And then he said it.

“He’s gone.”

The words hit you like a blunt object. Not a stab—there was no blood. Just the absence of breath. Like your lungs forgot how to work.

“It was fast. Dust,” Steve said. “Just… dust.”

You didn’t respond. You just stared. Not at him. Not at anything.

Steve rubbed a hand over his face. “Before the battle… he pulled me aside. Gave me this.”

From his pocket, Steve pulled out a small, worn notebook. You recognized it immediately. Bucky’s.

“He told me… if anything happened to him, if he didn’t come back… I was to find you. He wrote your name on the first page. Your number. Said, ‘She’s the only thing that ever made me feel like a man again. Please tell her I didn’t walk away.’”

Your knees buckled.

Steve caught you, arms strong and shaking all at once, pulling you gently to the floor.

“I’m so sorry.”

You weren’t crying. Not yet. You were too numb. The room spun in tight, slow circles.

“I need to see it,” you whispered.

Steve hesitated—then nodded.

He opened the notebook to the first page.

There, scrawled in Bucky’s neat, all-caps handwriting:

IF I DON’T MAKE IT BACK—CALL HER. TELL HER I WAS THINKING OF HER. TELL HER I DIDN’T RUN. TELL HER I LOVE HER.

Beneath it—your name. Your number. A little drawing. A tiny heart.

That’s when the screaming started.

—

You didn’t remember hitting the floor, but you remembered the sound of your scream.

Not human. Not you. Something primal, something that ripped through your throat and shattered into the walls around you. Your voice cracked. Broke. The notebook hit the floor. The ring box fell from the nightstand and landed with a hollow, damning thud.

You barely heard Steve calling your name. Felt his hands on your shoulders, grounding you, holding you like Bucky once did. You clawed at the couch cushions, the carpet, your own skin.

You begged. Pleaded. Not for God. Not for mercy. Just for one more second.

But there was no body.

No goodbye.

No grave.

Just dust on the wind and the weight of a love that had no ending.

You didn’t dream for weeks after that.

You couldn’t.

Because in every dream, he came back.

And in every one, he left again.

—

The first three days, you didn’t move from the couch.

The world around you buzzed in static—television left on, reports playing on loop. People screaming in airports. Planes crashing. Children disappearing from classrooms mid-laugh. It didn’t feel real. Nothing did.

You watched the news like a zombie. Not for information—you already knew the only part that mattered. But some stubborn part of you hoped someone, somewhere, would say his name. Would tell you they made a mistake. That he wasn’t among the dead.

But the screen stayed silent. And you did too.

—

By the fourth day, the calls started.

Steve again. Sam. Natasha. Even Bruce. You didn’t answer any of them. Not because you were angry—because the thought of speaking felt unbearable. Like it would make it real.

You didn’t want reality.

You wanted Bucky’s half-finished mug on the counter. You wanted the hoodie he left draped on the kitchen chair to still smell like him. You wanted his voice—gruff and low and quiet when he called you doll—to echo in the hallway again.

You slept on the floor.

It was cold there, under the window, but you didn’t care. The bed still had the dent where he last lay. The sheets still smelled like the skin between his neck and collarbone. You couldn’t touch it. You couldn’t bear to lie there and know you’d wake up alone.

You left the lights off. You didn’t eat. You stopped checking the time.

—

Your body broke before your mind did.

On Day Six, you collapsed in the hallway—halfway between the kitchen and the bathroom. Hunger, dehydration, grief. You woke up with the side of your face pressed to the tile and vomit dried in your hair.

You didn’t bother showering.

—

The ring box sat on the coffee table like a tombstone.

You couldn’t look at it.

Sometimes you swore it moved. That the air around it bent a little—like the force of your grief made it magnetic. But maybe that was just the fever setting in.

By Day Ten, the plants in the apartment had all died. You hadn’t watered them. Hadn’t opened the windows. You couldn’t stand the idea of fresh air. What was the point of anything growing if he wasn’t around to see it?

—

The fridge smelled like something rotting. You ignored it.

Instead, you sat on the kitchen floor in the same clothes from the week before. A loose shirt that smelled like Bucky and a pair of sweats with a hole in the knee. You held his dog tags in your fist so tightly, they left deep red grooves in your palm.

You thought about drinking.

The bottle of whiskey in the cabinet had dust on it—he’d been the one to stop you from spiraling back in those first months together. Always said he didn’t want to erase pain anymore. Just learn how to hold it.

You opened the cap. Brought it to your lips.

And stopped.

Not because you had willpower.

Because you knew it wouldn’t work.

There was no numbness strong enough to kill what was eating you.

—

The world outside moved on.

People rioted. Protested. Some fell into religion. Some into madness.

You fell into silence.

Your voice, when you finally spoke again, was raw. Dry. You tested it in the mirror one night like it was a broken instrument.

“Bucky.”

It cracked in half.

—

You didn’t leave the apartment for three weeks.

When you finally did—just to get milk, just to do something normal—you ended up on your knees in the middle of the sidewalk three blocks away. Some man passed you and smiled the way Bucky used to. And that was all it took.

You screamed. Sobbed. Clutched the concrete like it would split open and deliver him back to you.

A woman called 911. You told the paramedic you didn’t need a hospital.

You just needed him.

—

You stopped wearing your engagement ring. But you didn’t take it off either.

Instead, you threaded it through your necklace and wore it under your shirt. It dug into your chest when you lay down. Bruised your skin. But you kept it there.

Because pain, at least, reminded you that you hadn’t died with him.

Not completely.

—

You weren’t even sure how you got there.

One moment, you were standing in your kitchen, clutching a mug you hadn’t touched in days. The next, you were staring at a blank clipboard in a community center basement that smelled like old coffee and damp carpet.

Someone must have signed you up.

Sam, maybe. Steve.

You didn’t ask.

You just sat in a plastic chair at the far end of the circle, your hoodie drawn up, sleeves long enough to hide your shaking hands. The metal folding chair felt cold through your clothes. You hadn’t spoken to anyone in almost a week.

The room was too bright. Too quiet. You hated it.

—

A woman with kind eyes and a voice like a lullaby welcomed the group. She said her name was Jess. She offered tissues before anyone even spoke. As if she already knew.

Around you, strangers began to talk.

A man with graying temples spoke first. He lost his husband. Just vanished while brushing his teeth.

A mother next. Her little boy turned to ash in a park sandbox.

A teenager. His twin sister. Gone mid-laugh.

You couldn’t listen.

Because everything sounded like static.

Because all you could hear—all your brain let you hear—was him.

—

“You chew your pen when you’re anxious.”

Your lips curled slightly. Not in a smile—just recognition. You looked down.

You were chewing your pen. The same way Bucky used to tease you about.

Your hands trembled. You slid the pen across the floor, out of reach.

“Let me do the dishes. You cooked.”

You closed your eyes. Your throat ached.

You could still hear him humming while he cleaned. That stupid 1940s jazz that you pretended to hate.

You remembered standing in the kitchen doorway watching him wash the plates—one-armed, stubborn, slow—until you came up behind him, wrapped your arms around his waist and kissed the center of his back.

He always laughed when you did that. Said it tickled.

“I like this one on you,” he murmured once, thumbing the hem of your sweater.

It was the sweater you were wearing now.

You curled your fists into it. Pulled the sleeves over your palms like armor.

—

You hadn’t realized tears were spilling down your cheeks until someone passed you a tissue.

You didn’t look at them. You just nodded, quietly, and held the tissue in your lap like it was glass.

—

You still hadn’t spoken.

And you wouldn’t. Not that day.

But someone sat beside you.

Not close enough to crowd you. Not far enough to feel like pity.

A man. Taller than most in the room. Wide shoulders. He said nothing. He didn’t stare. He didn’t fidget.

He just… sat.

His presence felt like a dim light in a locked room. Not enough to see by. But enough to remind you the dark wouldn’t last forever.

You caught his name once—said soft during introductions, almost like he hated saying it aloud.

You didn’t remember the name.

But you remembered his eyes.

They didn’t flinch when he saw your pain.

And for the first time in weeks, you didn’t feel invisible.

—

You didn’t plan to come back.

After that first session, you walked out into the gray drizzle of early fall and told yourself, That was it. Enough pretending. Enough people watching me fall apart.

But the next Thursday, you were there again.

Same plastic chair. Same empty hands. Same hollow ache under your ribs.

And so was he.

He never spoke first. Never leaned in. He was just… there.

Somehow, that was enough.

His name, you learned slowly, was Dean. He used to be a museum archivist. Lost his wife in the Snap—said it casually, like someone talking about bad weather. But you noticed the way his voice dipped when he said her name. Like he was still trying to hold onto it without cracking.

He never asked about Bucky. Not even once.

But when the others spoke of their losses, he never looked away from you. Like he knew yours ran deeper than words could reach.

—

Week three, he brought two mugs of chamomile tea into the session.

One slid toward you on the table without a word.

You stared at it for almost five minutes before lifting it with trembling hands.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Your first words in the group.

His only reply was a soft nod, like your voice was a fragile thing he didn’t want to scare away.

—

Your flashbacks to Bucky changed, slowly.

They used to come all at once—bright, vivid, crushing. The way his stubble felt against your neck. The way he’d lean his head against your shoulder without speaking, just breathing you in. The little notes he used to leave on post-its: Got groceries. Love you. Don’t forget your umbrella.

Now, the memories drifted in more quietly.

Softer.

You still heard his voice sometimes. Still caught the scent of his cologne on strangers in passing. Still reached for your phone on bad nights, forgetting—for just a second—that he couldn’t answer anymore.

But it hurt less.

And the guilt of that hurt in a whole new way.

—

One Thursday, weeks later, the group had to shift to a smaller room.

You ended up sitting closer to Dean than usual. Shoulder to shoulder.

You could feel the warmth of his arm through your sleeve. He didn’t move. Neither did you.

That night, walking home, your brain played a memory of Bucky helping you carry groceries—laughing as a bag ripped and apples rolled down the sidewalk.

You smiled, faintly.

Then you realized you hadn’t cried that day.

And you sat on the edge of your bathtub later that night, shaking.

Not because you missed Bucky.

But because you were starting to feel okay again—and that felt like betrayal.

—

A month passed. Then two.

Dean started walking you to the Metro. You didn’t ask him to.

One day, it rained.

You stopped under a shared umbrella, both of you damp and breathless from laughing—the first real laugh you’d had in months.

You looked up and caught Dean watching you, his expression unreadable.

Not romantic.

Not pitying.

Just… present.

Present in a way you hadn’t let yourself be for a very long time.

—

One night, after a particularly raw session, he spoke first.

“You know… when she vanished, I didn’t want to survive it.”

You turned to him, startled by the honesty.

He shrugged. “But then I realized… she’d kill me if I didn’t try.”

Your throat clenched. You looked at your lap.

“He used to say the same thing,” you whispered. “About me.”

Dean didn’t press.

Just walked a little closer that night.

—

By the time winter came, you could walk through your apartment without flinching.

You still had Bucky’s things.

You still wore his ring on a necklace.

But you didn’t collapse every time you looked at the spot where he used to sit.

Sometimes, you even caught yourself humming in the kitchen again.

You found yourself craving chamomile tea.

Not because it reminded you of him—but because it reminded you of you.

—

It wasn’t dramatic. There were no rose petals, no hidden photographers, no gasping onlookers.

It was quiet. Barely even romantic.

It happened on a Sunday.

You were walking back from the flower stall near the corner café—the one that had slowly become “yours.” Dean had picked up your favorite blend from the tiny tea shop on 12th. You had daisies in one hand, his in the other, and the sky had that late-spring haze that made everything feel softer than it really was.

It wasn’t a special day.

But it was a peaceful one.

And that was rare enough to feel sacred.

—

He stopped walking.

You turned when you noticed the gentle tug on your fingers.

Dean’s expression was unreadable—not nervous, not trembling. Just… full. Full of something warm and earnest.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Can I ask you something?”

You blinked. “Of course.”

“Not because I expect anything. Not because I need an answer right now. But just because I’ve been thinking about it.”

Your heart started to flutter. You knew. You knew what this was.

He reached into his coat pocket. Pulled out a box—small, worn, simple.

But you didn’t open it.

You stepped back.

Just an inch.

The shift in your eyes told him everything.

“Dean,” you said, voice tight, “there are still memories of him. Bucky. They’re everywhere. In my apartment. In my closet. In my head.”

You looked down, fidgeting with the necklace around your neck. The one with the first ring. His ring.

“Some days I still hear his voice. Some mornings I wake up reaching for him before I remember he’s not there.”

Your throat caught. You didn’t even notice the tears starting to gather.

“I don’t know if I can give you… a clean slate.”

Dean didn’t flinch.

He nodded, slowly, with something like relief in his eyes.

“I know,” he said. “I never expected you to.”

He stepped closer, took your hands again, and gently turned them over in his.

“You’re not letting him go. Just like I haven’t let her go, either.”

You looked up sharply.

Dean gave a soft smile. Not sad. Just real.

“She’s still here sometimes. When I make coffee in the French press. When I take the long way home past the bookstore she loved.”

“Grief doesn’t end,” he said. “It just… softens. Changes shape. We don’t bury them. We carry them. That’s what love does.”

You stood in silence for a long moment.

You thought about Bucky. The first time he’d told you he loved you. The way his laugh shook his shoulders. The promise of Seoul.

You thought about Dean, sitting beside you in silence every Thursday. Making space for your pain. Never trying to fix you. Just being there.

“You’re not a replacement,” you whispered.

“And you’re not broken,” he replied.

Then he held the box up.

“No pressure. No timeline. Just… maybe this could be our next chapter. One that we write slowly. With room for everything that came before.”

You opened the box.

Inside—a ring of pale gold, delicate, nothing flashy.

But there was a tiny engraving inside.

“Still here.”

Your lip trembled.

You nodded.

He didn’t slip the ring on your finger yet. He let you take it.

You slid it on, next to the weight of the one around your neck.

Two loves. Two lives.

And somehow, still, yours.

—

It happened in a blink.

One second, Bucky was in Wakanda—the dirt thick under his boots, the scent of fire and blood hanging in the air. He’d just raised his rifle. Just started to call out to Steve.

And then—the wind shifted.

The trees looked different. Taller. Lusher. Greener. The sky above was brighter, fuller. The battlefield was… gone.

There were birds singing.

Not screams. Not gunfire.

Just birdsong.

He spun around.

The spear Okoye had thrown was rusting in the grass. The ship that hovered above had long since vanished. There was no dust on his fingers. No ash on his coat. He checked his arm—the new vibranium still intact, just like it had been before he vanished.

But the world had changed.

He felt it.

Like walking into a memory too old to trust.

“Steve?” he called, breath shaky. “Sam?”

No one answered.

He didn’t waste time.

He got back to New York the fastest way he could—everything was a blur of panic and fire beneath his ribs. There was no time to understand. Not yet.

He had to find you.

He had to come home.

—

The sun had already begun to set when he reached your building.

That familiar stoop. The cracked step on the left. The faded welcome mat with the crooked “O.” It was all the same.

He climbed the stairs two at a time. His boots felt too loud. His heartbeat louder.

Then he stood at your door.

His hand trembled.

He knocked—twice. Just like always.

—

Inside, you were plating the steak.

The pan still sizzled on the stove. Garlic, rosemary, butter—the smell rich and comforting, spreading through the apartment like a warm blanket. Dean was rinsing the salad in the kitchen sink, humming softly under his breath.

It had been a good day.

You wore his hoodie. Your hair was up in that casual way Bucky used to love—but now Dean did, too. It was domestic. It was safe. It was… yours.

The knock made your head lift.

Two knocks.

You froze.

It couldn’t be. That rhythm—it was etched into your bones.

You stepped toward the door.

Dean looked over, still smiling. “Expecting someone?”

“No,” you said softly. “I… I don’t know.”

You opened the door.

—

And there he stood.

Bucky Barnes.

Same shoulders. Same eyes. Same hair—curling at the ends, messy from the wind.

He was breathing like he’d run the whole way.

Your mouth parted but no words came out. The hallway felt too narrow. Too real.

“Doll,” he whispered, voice rough and broken. “It’s you. It’s really—”

Then he stopped.

Because Dean appeared behind you.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, kissed your shoulder casually, unaware of the hurricane that stood outside.

“Hey, babe—who’s—?”

His voice trailed off as he looked up.

Saw the man in the doorway.

Saw your face.

“Bucky,” you said.

A whisper. A gasp. A prayer.

—

The world tilted.

Bucky’s eyes dropped to Dean’s hands around your waist. To the ring on your finger. To your body, five years older.

He stumbled back a step.

You reached out instinctively—and stopped yourself.

He looked like he’d been gutted.

“You’re… older,” he said quietly. “How long—?”

“Five years,” you said, voice trembling. “It’s been five years.”

He blinked. Once. Twice.

“It was five seconds for me.”

His voice cracked down the middle.

Dean slowly, gently let go of your waist. He didn’t speak. He didn’t have to. The pain on Bucky’s face said everything.

“I came back for you,” Bucky said. “I came home.”

Then he shook his head.

“But someone already did.”

You couldn’t speak.

Your hands were shaking.

Bucky took another step back.

“I thought… I thought I’d walk in, and you’d be waiting.”

A faint, broken laugh escaped his throat. It wasn’t humor. It was disbelief. It was the kind of laugh you make when the world plays its cruelest card.

“I was just a few seconds too late,” he whispered.

And then he turned.

And walked away.

[howslemon]

Perfect Translation

IVE Rei x Male Reader

Words: 3.2k+

*Japanese

.

The forty-story glass building loomed before you, its sleek facade reflecting the morning sun. You smoothed down your suit coat, gripping your company ID like a lifeline. Your supervisor's words echoed in your mind: "Just a casual check-in with our Japanese partners." Easy for him to say, he wasn't the one navigating Tokyo without speaking the language.

The security guard accepted your ID with both hands, his expression courteous but firm. After a brief examination, he returned it with a gesture toward the waiting area. The glossy pamphlet on the side table offered little comfort. Its characters might as well have been abstract art.

"Good afternoon sir,"

The voice pulled your attention from the pamphlet. A woman stood before you, her presence commanding yet graceful. Her dark hair fell just past her shoulders, complementing the sharp lines of her business attire.

"Naoi Rei, I’ll be assisting you for today." she introduced herself, extending a hand. Her handshake was firm, professional. "Please follow me."

.

The elevator ride was quiet for the soft jazz playing overhead. You noticed how she stood, straight-backed, hands clasped before her, the very picture of corporate professionalism.

"First time in Japan sir?" she asked warmly, softening the elevator's fluorescent lighting.

"That obvious huh?"

A smile tugged at her lips. "You have that look about you. Wide-eyed, just taking everything in." She turned slightly toward you. "Tokyo can be overwhelming at first."

"Any suggestions for a newcomer?"

"I know quite a few hidden gems in the city." Her eyes met yours briefly. "Places tourists never find."

The elevator chimed, interrupting whatever was building in that moment. Rei gestured for you to follow, her heels clicking rhythmically against the polished floor. The office buzzed with quiet energy, the soft murmur of voices, the gentle hum of computers, the distant ring of phones.

Rei led you to a meeting room along the corner, where an executive in his fifties greeted you with a slight bow. His silver-streaked hair and wire-rimmed glasses gave him an air of distinguished authority.

"Welcome," he said warmly. "I trust you found us without too much trouble?"

Rei translated, voice replicating the same warmth. Was it your imagination, or did her eyes linger on yours a moment longer than necessary?

"The building was hard to miss," you replied, settling into the chair she indicated. The seating arrangement placed Rei between you and the executive, close enough that you caught the subtle scent of her perfume.

"Well, shall we discuss how the partnership has been progressing?"

Rei translated, but this time, she carried a hint of playfulness. "He wants to know how well we work together." Her emphasis on 'we' was subtle but unmistakable.

.

The conversation flowed, a dance of languages and meanings. With each translation, Rei seemed to grow bolder, a lingering glance here, a subtle shift in her chair there. Her translations remained professional, but her body language told a different story.

"How do you manage your team?" the executive asked, innocently enough.

Rei's eyes sparkled as she translated. "He's curious about how you... handle things." Her foot brushed against yours under the table, too deliberate to be accidental.

"I believe in being... hands-on when necessary," you replied, maintaining eye contact.

She turned to the executive, translating your words with perfect professionalism, but her crossed legs angled slightly more toward you. The rest of the meeting became a delicate balance, maintaining corporate decorum while an undercurrent of tension built with each exchanged glance, each "accidental" touch.

The executive seemed pleased with the discussion, checking his watch. "I believe we've covered everything now, unless you have any other questions?"

Rei's translation came with a subtle bite of her lip. "He's wrapping up. But I'm sure there's more we could... discuss."

The professional facade was cracking, replaced by something electric, dangerous, and entirely unprofessional. But as you caught her eye, you knew neither of you cared anymore. "That could be arranged,"

Rei’s eyes lingered onto yours a bit longer than necessary as she turned to the executive. "I have no other questions,"

As the executive gathered his papers, Rei translated his closing remarks with perfect professionalism, but her eyes told a different story entirely. The tension that had been building throughout the meeting was reaching its breaking point.

"Thank you for taking the time to meet today," the executive said, standing and extending his hand.

"He said thank you for the stimulating... conversation," Rei translated, her voice low enough that only you could hear the suggestion in her tone.

You shook the executive's hand, maintaining your composure despite the heat crawling up your neck. After exchanging pleasantries, Rei led you back into the hallway, her heels clicking against the polished floor with newfound purpose.

"I should show you around before you leave," she said, loud enough for anyone nearby to hear, not that anyone understood it anyway. Then, leaning closer, she whispered, "There's a utility room at the end of this hallway. Nobody uses it this time of day."

Your pulse quickened as you followed Rei down the corridor, past busy offices and meeting rooms. To anyone watching, it was just the translator guiding a visitor, nothing more.

She slowed her pace as you approached a door near the end of the hall. Glancing quickly in both directions, Rei reached for the handle.

The door opened to reveal a small storage room, shelves of office supplies, a utility sink, and not much else. But neither of you were looking at the surroundings as she pulled you inside, closing the door behind you.

She locked the door. The moment it clicked, she turned to you, professionalism cracking at the edges. "So," she murmured, voice dipping lower, "let's talk about that hands-on management style."

You didn’t bother with words.

Your mouth was on hers in an instant, capturing her gasp as you pressed her against the nearest shelf. It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t patient. The tension that had been building throughout the meeting snapped in an instant.

She matched your urgency, her hands already at your tie, loosening it with quick, practiced movements. Your fingers traced the buttons of her blouse, slipping one free, then another, revealing smooth skin beneath.

"I've been thinking about this since I saw you through the lobby," Rei whispered against your mouth, her fingers already working at your tie.

The confined space of the storage room amplified every breath, every rustle of clothing, every muffled sound, everything. Your hands found her waist, the smooth fabric of her blouse a stark contrast to the heat emanating from beneath.

"Someone could hear us," you murmured, even as your actions contradicted your words.

"Then we'll have to be quiet," she replied, a dangerous gleam in her eyes. Her fingers moved with surprising dexterity, undoing your coat with practiced ease. "Unless you want me to translate that too? Let them know what we’re doing."

The joke broke the tension for just a moment before it rebuilt, stronger than before. Your hands found the edge of her skirt, bunching the fabric as she pressed harder against you.

"No more talking," she commanded, professional composure completely forgotten. She reached for your belt, working it open with precision.

The small room felt electric, charged with the hours of pent-up energy released in this stolen moment. Office supplies rattled on nearby shelves as you both moved against them, neither caring about maintaining order anymore.

You turned her around swiftly, hands rested on the curve of her hips, guiding her against the stacked shelf. Her breath hitched as your fingers slid up the smooth skin of her thighs, bunching her skirt higher until it barely covered her. Her palms pressed against the shelf, nails barely scratching the metal frame as she arched back, offering herself without a word. You could feel the heat radiating from between her legs, her body betraying how long she’d been waiting for this.

"You're already soaked," you murmured, running a finger along the thin strip of fabric that barely covered her. A soft, muffled gasp escaped her lips as you traced slow circles over her panties, teasing, taunting.

"Do you want me to translate how much I need you right now?" she whispered, voice thick with desire.

Instead of answering, you hooked your fingers into the waistband and tugged her panties down, letting them slide past her thighs before they dropped to her ankles. She kicked them aside without hesitation, spreading her legs wider in silent invitation.

Your fingers dipped between her folds, spreading her open, feeling how wet she was. "Fuck," you breathed, dragging your fingertips through the slickness before pressing one inside her. She clenched around you instantly, her breath catching as she bit back a moan.

"You need to be quiet," you reminded her, sliding another finger in, stretching her, curling just enough to make her shudder. "Unless you want everyone out there to know what a filthy little professional you really are."

Her head dropped forward, forehead resting against the shelf as she fought to control herself. You freed yourself, lining up at her entrance, teasing her with the head of your cock.

You gripped her hips, holding her still as you teased her entrance, rubbing against her, coating yourself in her wetness. "Tell me how badly you want it."

She turned her head slightly, eyes blazing as she met your gaze over her shoulder. "I’ve wanted it the second I saw you in that lobby," she admitted, voice barely above a whisper. "Now stop teasing and fuck me."

A growl rumbled low in your throat as you thrust into her, burying yourself in one smooth, deep stroke. Her mouth fell open in a silent cry, fingers tightening around the edge of the shelf. You gave her a moment to adjust before pulling back and slamming into her again, the sound of skin meeting skin filling the small space.

"God—" she gasped, cutting herself off, trying to suppress her moans.

You grinned, gripping a handful of her hair and pulling her head back. "Careful," you warned, your lips brushing her ear. "Wouldn't want anyone to walk in and see you like this, bent over, dripping, taking every inch like you were made for it."

Her only response was a desperate whimper, her walls tightening around you, her body pushing back against yours, seeking more. You gave it to her fast, deep, relentless. The shelf rocked against the wall with every thrust, papers slipping loose, pens scattering onto the floor, but neither of you cared.

"You're so fucking tight," you groaned, your grip on her hips bruising as you drove into her harder, faster. She was trembling now, her legs shaking, her breath uneven as she neared the edge.

"Please," she panted, barely able to get the word out. "Don’t stop."

You reached around, finding her clit, rubbing harsh, quick circles in time with your thrusts. Her whole body tensed, back arching, muscles tightening as she came hard around you, her orgasm crashing over her in silent, shaking waves, pushing your cock out of her.

You felt her soft thighs press around your length. The slick wetness from her previous orgasm made it easy for your cock to slide in and out smoothly between the soft flesh of meat, lightly brushing her still dripping folds. Each slow thrusts teasing, matched with your hand creeping up to her perfectly sized breast.

Rei let out cute little whimpers, her fingers tightening around the shelf, trying to steady herself as you plant gentle kisses along her nape. You ran your hands up her sides, tracing her ribs through the thin fabric of her blouse before gripping her waist again, controlling her movements, making sure she felt every inch of you sliding between her thighs.

Her thighs squeezed tighter, the sensation delicious as you picked up the pace, fucking into that soft, slick heat. You could feel how wet she still was, how close she was again. "Sensitive?" You murmured against her ear, dragging your lips along the curve of her neck, sucking lightly, just enough to make her jerk, but not enough pressure to leave a mark, at least not for now.

Rei shivered, nodding weakly as she bit her lip before turning her face to you. Your fingers trailed down, dipping between her legs, teasing her folds just as your cock slid past. She jerked against you, a sharp inhale escaping her lips as you circled her clit again, rubbing in time with your thrusts. Her pleading eyes stared at yours, full of hunger, desires. Warm breaths hitting you before you closed the tiny gap in between your faces, claiming her plump lips, tounges slithering together, savoring each other’s taste.

There she was again with her cute whimpers, this time, against your mouth, her body trembling against yours, breathing uneven. Lewd wet sounds of your exchanged heat echoing the small space, the universal language of sex that didn’t need any translation for anyone to understand.

You felt yourself getting close, the friction of her plush thighs, the heat of her soaked pussy just barely out of reach, driving you to the edge. You pulled back at the last second, gripping her hips with both hands as you turned her around. Rei blinked up at you, dazed, her pupils blown wide with lust. Her lips were slightly parted, her breathing still ragged.

Her back hitting the shelf as you lifted one of her legs, hitching it over your arm. The new angle exposed everything, her swollen, dripping entrance, still twitching from her last orgasm, waiting, begging for you to fill her again with your cock.

You lined yourself up, teasing her entrance with the head of your cock, reveling in the way she shuddered, her fingers gripping at your shoulders for support.

"Please…" Her voice was barely a whisper, but the desperation in it made something snap inside you. You thrust into her in one hard stroke, burying yourself to the hilt. The shelves behind her hit against the wall, the remaining office supply containers dropping down the floor. You somehow felt bad for someone who’s gonna clean all this mess, the wasted sheet of papers already unusable, soaked with Rei’s cum.

You didn’t give her time to adjust this time. You set a punishing rhythm, deep, unrelenting, each thrust forcing her against the shelf, her body completely at your mercy. Her nails dug into your shoulders as she held on, breaking her with every thrust. "Too much—!"

"You can take it," you growled, gripping her chin, forcing her to look at you. Her lips trembled, breath hot and uneven as she stared up at you, pupils wide, drowning in lust. "Yes, I can—ahh!"

You slammed into her harder, watching her back arch, her body forced against the shelf. The unrelenting force of your thrusts shaking both her and the unstable storage behind her.

"Don’t stop…" she gasped, nails raking down your back through the fabric of your shirt, her legs tightening around you as you drove into her relentlessly.

You grabbed her other thigh, lifting her completely off the ground, pressing her against the cold metal shelf as you held her in place, using your strength to fuck into her at a brutal pace. She had no choice but to take it, her body fully surrendered to you, trembling, shaking, as pleasure wracked through her.

"I-I’m gonna—!"

You felt it, her walls spasming around you, body shaking, a strangled cry escaping her lips as she—

Somebody knocked, forcing you to stay absolutely still, cock still burried deep into her, painfully halting Rei’s climax. You covered her mouth, preventing any unwanted cries of pleasure to be heard by someone out there. She’s still gasping, trying to catch her breath as you slowly continue your pace.

"What did he say?" You whispered before letting go of her mouth.

"Just asking if someone’s here,"

Coast is clear, you heard footsteps walking away from the room. You stared at each other, letting out breathy laughs.

"You were so close," you murmured against her ear, feeling the way her walls still fluttered around you, desperate for the release that had been stolen from her.

"F-fuck... I hate you," Rei whispered breathlessly, forehead pressing against yours, her nails digging into your shoulders. But her body betrayed her, still shifting against you, still silently pleading for more.

You smirked, pulling back just enough to watch her face as you rolled your hips, slow and deep, pressing her further into the cold shelf. "Hate me?" Another slow, deliberate thrust. "Or hate that I stopped?"

"A bit of both," she gasped, tilting her head back as pleasure took over her again.

"You wanna cum?"

Rei nodded frantically, staring at you with lips slightly parted, already lost in it again. "Please, make me cum,"

You gripped her thighs tighter, pressing it higher against your waist as you snapped your hips forward, resuming the brutal rhythm she needed, slamming into her deep and hard. She cried out, her voice muffled against your shoulder, her nails scratching down your back.

"You wanna scream?" you taunted, breath hot against her neck. "But you can’t, can you? Not unless you want them to hear how filthy you are, getting fucked like this in a storage room."

She nodded weakly, biting her lip to keep the moans inside.

"Then cum," you growled, thrusting harder, fingers digging into her skin as you drove her over the edge. Her whole body tensed, her pussy clenching down on you, squeezing tight as she came violently, her muffled moan vibrating against your skin.

You groaned, feeling the way she milked your cock, every pulse pushing you closer, her tight, dripping heat dragging you into oblivion.

"Fuck Rei,"

You buried yourself as deep as you could, white-hot pleasure crashing over you as you came inside her, filling her completely. She whimpered, shivering as she felt it, her body still shaking, still coming down from her high as you spilled every last drop into her.

Silence settled between you, both panting, pressed against each other, sweaty, spent.

You finally dropped her legs down as you pulled back, watching your cum slowly dripping on her thighs. "Messy…" you murmured, smirking.

Rei let out a breathy laugh, legs still weak, arms wrapped lazily around your shoulders. "That was the best fuck I’ve had here."

You kissed her—slow, deep, savoring the taste of her.

"Should we clean up?" You pressed your forehead to hers, glancing around the wreckage of the storage room, office supplies scattered, papers ruined, and the unmistakable scent of sex heavy in the air.

"Should we?"

You both chuckled, fixing yourselves back into the professionals that you were before you went in that room. "You free tonight?" You ask her.

She leaned against the shelf to steady herself, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Tonight?" she asked, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

"My hotel." you replied, straightening your tie.

Rei glanced at her watch, then took out a business card. She flipped it over, writing something on the back before pressing it into your palm. Her fingers lingered against yours.

With that, she unlocked the door, checked the hallway, and slipped out, once again the perfect professional. But the card in your hand, warm from her touch, promised this was only the beginning.

••••••••••

Extended version of @mintwithchoco's prompt.

[deikshen]

The idea of Shang Qinghua as a fallen God was hitting me HARD-

I mean, he was some kind of civil God in the heavens, even then recognized for his prose, for the epic tales that would later become a reality, giving him the title of prophet, "The God who sees Beyond Time", "The God Who Inks the Pages of Destiny."

He rose from the lowest ranks as an adjunct god to an important position, becoming one of the most recognized and venerated civil gods of the heavens -he always responded to all the offerings, the one who appeared most in dreams, the one who solved the most situations with his own hands. The civil god with the most temples, the one to whom incense and prayers were given before the imperial exams, the one to whom even those learning to write gave small offerings in search of his erudition to learn faster.

So, something happened. Did he betray the heavens? It was discovered that he had risen to his position through corrupt means? Did he get into a debate with some vengeful martial god? The stories could be many, but the result is always the same: the civil god fell. Where he once had hundreds of temples, now they didn't even offer him incense. And Shang Qinghua, there, bored, was simply... tired. People remembered him for his stories, so he could never know the sweet embrace of death. Turned into a folk tale, his own stories, written in his own hand, being repeated and reproduced in theaters for centuries. When would this martyrdom end?

Never, apparently. And Shang Qinghua writes. He writes stories that are replicated across civilizations. He sees entire demonic races born and die. He writes about an emperor of the three realms, a heavenly demon, with a harem of beauties, a destiny, a prophecy surrounding a sword, and that only pure love could save martyred hearts blackened by fear and misunderstanding.

And after a few centuries, finally finds an artifact that will make him forgotten. He's tired. Fed up. It's been a long millennium of loneliness. Shang Qinghua collects every story he ever wrote, hides them in a deep cave, keeps them away from mortals. He burns his abandoned temples. He burns his stories, making everyone forget that there ever was a God who inks the pages of destiny.

And he dies. Finally.

Half a millennium later, Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe are on a hike. Some silly honeymoon thing, traveling the world and finding rare beasts and beautiful non-lethal plants. It's an area that was never originally described in PIDW, but Shen Qingqiu is curious; the world is vast, exquisite, stretching out with magnificent magic. And he wants to know everything.

Then he accidentally gets trapped in a silly array and opens a cave. Luo Binghe follows him, desperate, but both of them... well, even if they wanted to leave without investigating, they never could!! It seems to have been closed for a long, long time.

That's how they find a scholar's hiding place. Or so they think. Stacks and stacks of scrolls. Paintings, theater robes, masks. In the middle of the investigation, Shen Qingqiu's breath catches in his throat when, in the characters from a scroll, he reads Xin Mo.

It is difficult to understand the characters ruined by time, but the story is clear. There are prophetic legends about Xin Mo, about Luo Binghe himself (without mentioning his name other than "a baby who emerged from the Luo River with a frozen heart"), and so many, so many things... Shen Qingqiu is perplexed. What the hell is up with all this? Why was it hidden? Who wrote it? Damn, Airplane owes him some VERY good answers.

In his study in the northern palace, Shang Qinghua begins to have a very strong headache. He should go to sleep, he probably strained his eyes too much with all the paperwork, but, uh, for some reason, he really, really want to write something. An idea is starting to form in his head, like when he wrote PIDW in his other life! Maybe it'll be his next bestseller!! He has to seize the opportunity and inspiration when it hits him!!

[pitlanepeach]

FROM EDEN | Chapter One (1/8)

Oscar Piastri x Francesca Gold (OFC)

Summary — Francesca Gold is an introvert with a quiet life and a YouTube channel where she talks about books, drinks too much tea, and rarely ever shows her face. She prefers it that way - tucked into her London flat with her cat, Henry, and safely hidden behind a screen.

Oscar Piastri is a Formula 1 driver. Fast-paced, high-stakes, always on the move. He hasn't read a book in years, but he's watched every single one of Francesca's videos. Just for the sound of her voice.

Following her on Instagram was a moment of weakness. He didn't think she'd notice.

She did.

Chapter Warnings - Mentions of agoraphobia + severe social anxiety, depressive episodes + very brief references to skin-picking.

Notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSCAR 🧡

Sometimes, Francesca felt like her MacBook was an extension of her body.

It came with the territory. She spent six, sometimes eight, hours a day editing. Her management had offered to hire a professional to take over that side of things, but she always declined. She liked the process. It kept her busy. And besides, her audience had come to expect her touch — the specific pacing, the way she layered her clips with the perfect font depending on the theme of the video. No professional could replicate that.

“The team at Penguin emailed last night. They want you to do another collab next month — summer drop. It’s going to be huge,” Katie says, without preamble, the moment Francesca answers the FaceTime. Manager, best friend, chaos in a messy bun. 

Francesca blinks, gives herself a second to process, then beams. “Wait, seriously? I mean, I know they had great feedback on the last video, but I just thought…” She trails off, shaking her head and letting out a breathy laugh. 

God, it was still hard to believe this was her life. That she’d built this job from scratch — and was actually good at it. Good enough that one of the biggest publishing companies in the world wanted to work with her again, for the second time in less than a year.

“It’s going to be great. I’ll email you the content brief as soon as I have it,” Katie said. She was smiling too, the fine lines around her eyes deepening with joy.

Francesca often thought that was the best part of having a manager who doubled as your best friend — the fact that when something good happened, it wasn’t just her win. It was theirs.

“Pizza at my place to celebrate?” Francesca suggested on a whim, and immediately wished she could take it back. Her spine went rigid, and a glance toward the front door confirmed what she already knew — she wasn’t in the right headspace for company. Not even Katie, who was one of the only guests she’d ever had at her flat. “Uh, I mean…” She felt her face burn with embarrassment as she tried to find a way to rescind her invitation. 

“I’m busy tonight,” Katie said breezily, and relief washed over Francesca like a wave. She managed a small smile. “Another night, maybe,” Katie added, her eyes warm and knowing. The softness in her voice made Francesca’s throat tighten.

She was a terrible friend.

“Yeah,” she said softly, and wished — not for the first time — that her brain would just let her be normal.

Just once, it would be nice to exist without wrapping herself in cotton wool, constantly calculating every choice, afraid of pushing too far and tipping into that place she didn’t like to think about. The edge was always there, waiting. And when she fell, it was dark. 

“Another time,” she finished, quieter this time.

Katie hummed, then did a dramatic spin in her chair.

Francesca had already figured out she was in her office. It was painted bubblegum pink — hard to mistake for anywhere else.

One day, Francesca would have an office too. She already had a Pinterest board full of inspiration pictures.

For now, her flat was too small — a one-bedroom with just enough space for a two-seater table in the kitchen and a small couch tucked beneath the living room window.

But one day, she'd have more.

The walls would be lined with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. She’d have a big desk, maybe even a chaise lounge to film her videos from — soft lighting, stacks of novels within reach.

Her gaze drifted to the window. Her sixth floor flat overlooked a busy street, which was both comforting and overwhelming. She liked the reminders of life happening outside. But sometimes, the idea of stepping into it — of opening the door and being swallowed by the noise — made her feel physically sick. 

“So,” Katie said, her voice deceptively flat. “Read anything good recently?”

It wasn’t funny.

It wasn’t even a little bit funny.

But whatever tension had been lingering between them dissolved in an instant.

One blank look from Francesca was all it took for Katie to double over with laughter — and Francesca followed close behind.

—

Oscar Piastri followed you!

Francesca stared at her Instagram notifications and blinked. She only ever got alerts like that when someone verified followed her, and it always felt a little disconcerting. Being perceived was... weird.

She tapped on his profile picture, waited for the feed to load, then let out a quiet, shocked breath as her eyes widened.

Christ. Almost two million followers.

She read his bio first.

I drive @McLaren F1 cars.

Her brows pulled together.

She knew about Formula One. Her sister — back when they still spoke — had been a hardcore fan. Always waking up at absurd hours on Sundays to watch the races. Francesca had never understood the appeal. She wasn’t ever interested in sports, really.

And if she was remembering right… the cars were bloody loud.

Nonetheless, she let herself scroll through his feed, indulging the curiosity. Why not? He’d followed her first.

Which… she paused, thumb hovering over a video — a clip of him laughing with another guy, shorter, with dark hair, both of them doubled over and grinning wide.

Why had he followed her?

Was he a reader?

She chewed her bottom lip, eyes flicking back to his feed. Nothing about books. Nothing even vaguely literary. Just cars. Fast ones. The kind that had made her cover her ears and wince when her sister had played it on the TV. 

Still, she kept scrolling.

There were podium photos, clips from press days, shots of cars mid-race that made her anxious just looking at them. A lot of orange. And still, nothing that explained why he would have any interest in the kind of content she posted.

Before she could stop herself, she opened a new tab and typed his name into Google.

Oscar Piastri F1.

Search.

The first result was his Wikipedia page. She clicked it, scanning quickly.

Twenty-two. Australian. Drove for McLaren. Something about back-to-back Formula 2 and Formula 3 championships. ‘I understand that, without my agreement, Alpine F1 have put out a press release late this afternoon that I am driving for them next year. This is wrong and I have not signed a contract with Alpine for 2023. I will not be driving for Alpine next year.’ Her brain started buffering around "qualifying sessions" and "downforce," so she backed out and clicked Images instead.

Okay. He was… very symmetrical.

She immediately closed the tab, her cheeks flaming red.

And then she opened it again. This time, she searched Oscar Piastri book. Nothing. Oscar Piastri reading. Still nothing. Oscar Piastri favourite books.

No real results. Just an old fan forum thread with a blurry screenshot of him holding what looked like a paperback on a plane. He couldn’t have been older than seventeen. Could’ve been anything.

‘F3 champion and high school student lmao,’ one of the comments read.

Francesca let herself sink back into the couch. She pulled her knees to her chest, her free hand drifting up to her mouth, picking absently at the skin around her fingernail.

“How did you end up here, Oscar Piastri?” she whispered.

And then immediately felt ridiculous.

It’s not like a follow meant anything.

It could’ve been a slip of the finger. Maybe something his management team did to stir engagement. A glitch. Instagram glitched all the time. That was a known thing.

It really was.

Still curled up on the couch, Francesca tapped back into Instagram and navigated to the official Formula One account. Just to look. Just to see if maybe there was something that explained why a McLaren driver might follow a booktuber with anxiety and a penchant for editing videos until 2am.

There wasn’t.

But there was a countdown at the top of the page.

Qualifying. One hour to go.

Qualifying? What was that? Like… sports pre-game? Car auditions?

She frowned. Then, before she could think twice, she picked up the remote and opened the app store on her TV. A few clicks later, she was signing up for a Sky Sports subscription.

“For research,” she told Henry, who lazily stared at her from his spot on the armrest like he was judging her life choices. 

“I’m just… curious, okay?” she added, navigating to the F1 channel.

Henry yawned, unimpressed and unentertained.

Francesca pulled her quilt blanket around her shoulders and settled in, one hand on her mug of tea, the other resting lightly on Henry’s back. The TV buzzed to life with dramatic music and fast edits of cars screaming around tracks.

“Oh, they really are loud,” she muttered.

Still, she didn’t change the channel.

The coverage had barely started before the noise hit her full-force — engines growling, tires screeching, the low thrum of commentary that barely kept up with the chaos on screen.

Francesca grimaced. She didn’t like it. Too loud, too fast, too… much.

Henry flinched at a particularly aggressive rev, then resumed kneading the arm of the sofa like he was above letting it actually concerned him.

Cars whipped around corners at impossible speeds, camera angles switching every few seconds. She couldn’t follow any of it. Couldn’t understand the appeal. It made her anxious, frankly — a blur of noise and danger and people cheering for machines hurtling toward potential disaster.

And then one of them did crash.

Right into the barrier.

Metal crumpled. The commentators’ voices jumped a pitch. The screen showed a flurry of slow-motion replays, sparks flying.

Her hand flew to the remote. She didn’t want to see this. She was about to switch off.

But then, like it had been summoned just for her, a name appeared at the bottom of the screen.

Oscar Piastri — overlayed over the image of a sleek orange car pulling into the pit lane.

She froze, her heart jumping in her throat.

The camera cut to him stepping out of the car. Calm. Focused. Tugging off his helmet to reveal slightly flattened curls and flushed cheeks. The camera lingered for a second too long — or maybe not long enough — before cutting away.

Francesca didn’t move.

She didn’t even blink.

“Oh no,” she whispered, sinking slightly lower into the couch. “Absolutely not.”

Henry purred beside her. 

— 

iMessage – Francesca & Katie

Katie: How’s your evening? Still editing?

Francesca: yep super busy so much to do

Katie: Why are you being weird

Francesca: 😶

Katie: Wait What did you do

Francesca: nothing?? literally nothing.

Katie: Francesca.

Francesca: okay fine i may have accidentally subscribed to sky sports

Katie: YOU WHAT

Francesca: DON’T it was just for a second. i wanted to see what “qualifying” meant.

Katie: Omg Omg Did you watch it? YOU WATCHED IT DIDN’T YOU

Francesca: it was research.

Katie: Research for what???

Francesca: i think i might want get my drivers liscence soon. 

Katie: HAHA BULLSHIT definitely not because a certain driver literally just followed you on instagram or anything

Francesca: shut up maybe

Katie: Fran.

Francesca: i didn’t like it i almost turned it off. but then his name came up and i just… idk. i kept watching.

Katie: Omg my baby has a crush

Francesca: shut up no ew

Katie: Right Why did you google “Oscar Piastri favourite book” at 8:07pm

Francesca: STOP STALKING MY BROWSER HISTORY GET UR OWN GOOGLE ACCOUNT 

Katie: Nah 

—

The Sky Sports app was still open on her TV.

Francesca hadn’t meant to leave it there. It just... stayed. Like the universe was silently daring her to press play again. 

She’d lost herself to editing again — that blissful, numbing kind where hours passed unnoticed, her fingers tapping out precise cuts, adjusting audio, overlaying soft transitions like muscle memory. The world outside her screen had faded away, quiet and far off.

But now… now her video was exported, her desk light dim, the flat heavy with stillness.

And she couldn’t resist.

She clicked on Post-Qualifying Interviews, telling herself it was just to see what the drivers sounded like. That was all. She was just curious. Nothing more.

She turned the volume down to a whisper.

Henry flicked his tail in visible disapproval.

“I’m not proud of this either,” she whispered, settling into the couch like she was committing a crime. The blanket came up to her chin. The remote was gripped in her hand. 

The first few drivers were all very… race-driver-y. Confident. Loud. Slightly sweaty. Lots of hand gestures and scathing words for their own performances. 

And then Oscar appeared.

The interviewer asked him something technical — tires, or grip, or some other concept that meant absolutely nothing to her — and he responded with this measured, thoughtful calm. No bravado. No shouting. Just… collected.

Francesca tilted her head, studying the way his brow creased slightly as he answered, like he really cared about getting it right. The way he smiled softly at the end of his sentence, almost to himself, like a punctuation mark no one else noticed.

She didn’t even realise she was smiling too until Henry let out a judgmental meow.

“I said I’m not proud,” she muttered, hastily backing out of the video.

The silence that followed was immediate and deafening.

She tossed the remote aside and buried her face in her hands.

“Oh my God,” she mumbled into her palms. “I need to go to bed. I need to stop acting like an actual crazy person.”

Henry pawed at her ankle, unimpressed.

She was going to delete the Sky Sports app first thing in the morning. 

Right after she watched one more video.

Maybe two.

—

Francesca watched the Grand Prix the next day.

She made tea. She stayed in her pyjamas. She sat through the whole thing, even when it dragged and even when the commentators said things she didn’t understand. It wasn’t thrilling. It wasn’t magical. It just… was.

Oscar finished somewhere in the middle.

She turned the TV off, went to take a shower, and moved on with her life.

There were deadlines to meet. Emails to respond to. A pile of unread books that had started to stare at her like she’d betrayed them. Her expensive Sky Sports subscription went untouched the rest of the week. 

But then Tuesday came.

And Tuesday was awful.

There was no real reason. No one thing she could point to and say that’s what broke me. It just felt like everything was a little too loud, her own skin too heavy. Like gravity had turned up a notch and was dragging her down with it.

She didn’t get out of bed.

Didn’t open her laptop.

Didn’t answer Katie’s texts — not even the one with a cat meme she would normally have replied to in all-caps.

Henry crawled into her lap around midday and stayed there, curled against her like a warm, quiet anchor. She lay still, wrapped in blankets, blinking up at the ceiling like it might give her answers.

Nothing did.

It was the kind of day where time slowed and thoughts didn’t. Where brushing her teeth felt like running a marathon. Where everything felt stuck.

She picked up her phone out of habit, already ready to put it back down again.

But then — the notification.

@oscarpiastri liked your post. Her latest one. A photo dump from less than two hours ago — mostly books, a coffee mug, her hand in the sunlight.

Her heart stuttered.

Not in a dramatic, fireworks-going-off kind of way. Just a small, stunned skip.

She stared at the notification like it might vanish.

Henry shifted slightly in her lap. She didn’t move.

It was such a small thing.

A double-tap.

A gesture.

But in the middle of a day where just existing felt impossible, someone — he — had seen her.

Even if it didn’t mean anything.

Even if it was random.

Even if he probably liked a hundred photos that day.

She let out a long, shaky breath and rested her phone on her chest, her hand curled loosely around it.

"Okay," she whispered to no one.

Maybe she could get up later.

Not now. But maybe later.

—

The MTC was buzzing, even though it was only a Tuesday. Debrief done. Media duties had been wrapped earlier in the morning. Everything had settled into that post-Grand Prix lull where everyone finally took a breath until the next weekend came around.

Oscar leaned back against the side of a worktable, scrolling idly through Instagram. Nothing serious. Just background noise.

Until he saw that she’d posted. 

Francesca Gold.

He hadn’t meant to follow her, not really. It had been a 2am spiral the night before quali day — his sister had sent him a TikTok of somebody talking about a F1 themed romance novel, which had ultimately led him to her channel, which led to hours watching her recommend fantasy novels with painfully sincere enthusiasm.

It was just a photo dump. Books. Sunlight. Her cat, maybe — very ginger and grumpy looking. He didn’t overthink it.

He double-tapped the photo, thumb pausing just slightly over the screen.

She rarely posted pictures of her full-face. Never showed it in any of her videos. But he knew that she was pretty. Gorgeous, even. 

A grin tugged at his mouth before he could stop it.

“What’s that face?”

Oscar glanced up.

Lando was standing a few feet away, arms crossed, looking far too smug for someone who had just received a stern telling-off for his comments to the press after his bang-average race performance. 

Oscar blanched. “What face?”

“The one I just saw.” Lando pointed. “The ‘I’ve got a secret’ smile. You were two seconds away from giggling.”

“I don’t giggle.” He argued. 

“Mate.” Lando deadpanned. “Come on. Spill.” 

Oscar locked the screen and slipped the phone into his pocket, casual. “It’s nothing.”

Lando raised a brow, clearly unconvinced. “Nothing’s usually something.”

Oscar didn’t answer.

Lando stepped closer, all mock seriousness now. “Is it a girl?”

Oscar gave him a long, slow look. “You’re very nosy.”

“That’s not a no.”

He looked away without meaning to. 

“Oh my God, it is a girl. Who is she? Wait—” He snapped his fingers. “I saw something on twitter about you following some… I don’t know what they call them. She reads books.” He said. 

Oscar exhaled through his nose, resigned. “She posted on Instagram. I liked it. That’s all.”

“Mmhmm. And now you’re smiling like a man with secrets.”

Oscar didn’t answer, just tugged the zipper of his hoodie down a little and pushed off the table.

“You’re going to message her, aren’t you?” Lando called after him, voice teasing.

“I’m going to find food,” Oscar said over his shoulder. “Stop projecting, Norris.”

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

He ignored it until he’d found a quiet, empty spot to sit. 

And then he opened her page again. Let himself look properly this time. The soft light coming from the window. The cat. The books. The half-face showing in the last photo; all dark hair and hazel eyes. 

He smiled again.

And this time, no one saw.

—

iMessage – Francesca & Katie

Katie: Hey. Please stay away from Twitter for a bit 

Francesca: uh oh why what happened have i been cancelled for not liking the new sjm book? lol 

Katie: Nothing major. Just… people noticed something. Some tweets about you and oscar 🤦‍♀️ They’re being annoying. That’s all.

Francesca: … there literally is no ‘me and oscar’ katie. what kind of annoying?

Katie: The “who even is she” kind And the “typical influencer girl” stuff Ignore them. They’re bored and jealous.

Francesca: typical influencer girl. oh my god i’m going to dissolve into the floor now don’t mind me. just fully evaporating

Katie: You are literally FINE You didn’t do anything. He followed you. He liked your post. 

FRANCESCA i didn’t even follow him back 😭😭😭 would that make it worse? i might just do it 

KATIE Lmao. You don’t have to do anything. Your account, your space, your joy. You’re allowed to post a picture of your cat, ffs

Francesca: henry is a public figure. 

Katie: LMAO Okay yeah that’s true

Francesca: god i hate being perceived. i feel gross. like i did something wrong.

Katie: You didn’t. I promise. People will forget about this in like 48 hours. Faster if you don’t engage. Also: do not google yourself. Do not check the quote tweets. Seriously. Step away. People are being disgusting. Talking about your mental health. 

Francesca: oh my god they hit the pentagon

Katie: STOP. You’re ridiculous. Don’t make me laugh right now. I’m angry. Go cuddle the public figure Tomorrow, we pretend that this never happened.

Francesca: … okay. but if i die of embarrassment, pls delete my browser history

Katie: Of course. 

—

It had been two weeks since she’d worked up the courage to leave her flat.

In that time, she’d dived head-first into the history of Formula One.

She’d developed an emotional attachment to Nico Rosberg.

And every time she saw Oscar’s face or heard his voice, her stomach did this weird little twist she tried very hard to ignore.

She still hadn’t worked up the nerve to follow him back.

Twitter had moved on after a few days. The comments had been vicious — picking apart the parts of her mental health issues that she’d made public, calling her a terrible match for the Australian driver (capital letters, like that somehow made it worse). It was mean, sure, but also probably laced with some truth.

It was laughable. She knew what a WAG was now. And she could literally never.

Cameras, fashion critiques, every movement scrutinised. There was a reason she didn’t plaster her face all over the internet. Sure, most people had pieced together what she looked like by now — it wasn’t some big scandelous secret — but she could still walk through London relatively unnoticed, on the very rare occasion that she did.

And that was how she liked it.

—

Oscar made it onto the podium in Japan.

Francesca had watched the race live, heart hammering against her ribs like it was her out there driving. Henry had abandoned her half an hour in — bored or annoyed or both — but she’d stayed curled up on the couch, eyes fixed on the screen, half-hidden behind her quilt. 

When he crossed the line in third, she let out a sound that was half-laugh, half-overwhelmed-sob.

She was proud of him. Which was ridiculous, really. She didn’t know him. He was nobody to her. But still — she'd watched, taught herself the rules, learned the names of the tracks, made a list of all of the weird acronyms, and somewhere between doing all of those things, she’d started cheering for him like it mattered.

She opened the Instagram app before she could talk herself out of it.

Went to his profile.

Paused.

Her thumb hovered over the message icon, heart beating too fast, palms clammy.

What would she even say?

Well done? I was cheering for you from my couch. 

No. God, no.

He had millions of followers. He probably got hundreds of thousands of messages. Messages from people he actually knew. From people who weren’t... whatever she was.

She hadn’t followed him back. That felt important. It made her invisible. Safe. Unknown.

And still, the urge to say something curled up inside her, warm and nervous. She wanted him to know. Just a little. That she’d seen it. That she was proud of him.

Her thumbs started to type, slowly, hesitantly:

Congratulations. You were incredible today. I’ve been cheering for you. 

She stared at the words.

Then deleted the message.

Then retyped it.

Eventually, she shook her head, hastily swiped out of the Instagram app, locked her phone and let it slide to the other end of the couch.

She buried her face in Henry’s fur, blinking fast.

Maybe next time.

—

bookishgoldie just posted!

liked by oscarpiastri, stephbroher, and 35,768 others

bookishgoldie: enjoying the london sunshine ☀️

view all comments

user1: KING HENRY SIGHTING

user17: i love that cat like he's my own omg

user03: it’s officially spring!!!!!

user63: OSCAR IN HER LIKES AGAIN OH MY GOD

user17: FRANCESCA HIDE BEHIND ME BABYGIRL I WONT LET THE TWITTER DEMONS GET YOU AGAIN 🤺

user60: this is crazy... do u think they're like friends or

user76: no idea. she's so pretty though.

user5: do we even know if oscar pastry is literate? genuine question.

user33: i LOVE your apartment!!!!!!!!!!!

bookishgoldie: i do too!! thank you

user18: my favourite booktuber ever

user2: I’ve been here since the beginning and it’s crazy to me that she’s basically a household name now.

Chapter Two

[justladders]

To everyone in the art community, please:

Tracing is effective. But only as a learning tool. Telling people "never trace" can be robbing them of methods that could have been effective to their learning process if they'd known about them.

The "art of using tracing" is a bit looked over, so I have five points:

(it's a long one)

1: AS A RULE OF THUMB, DO NOT POST/SHARE TRACED AND STOLEN ARTWORK. This is not only lying to anyone you show it to, if you're trying to come off as, "I'm so good, look at what I did," but most importantly, it's lying to yourself. You'll trick yourself into not needing to get any better, and you will stagnate if you start to rely on tracing as a form of stealing. If you come to realize that you are, you should stop using any tracing methods altogether to keep yourself from abusing it. It's a slippery slope for beginners, and a big reason why you’ll hear almost everyone echo that you just shouldn’t trace at all. The issue is that this ignores the ways that tracing can actually be good.

2: Tracing sets the stage for motor skills/hand-eye coordination. I've seen so many early-stage beginner artists get upset that the art that they make of their favorite character/oc is messy, or maybe they just don't even know what they want to draw and can’t "make themselves mindlessly doodle.” These early arists then become completely disheartened and upset, especially if they start to look at other people for comparison. Tracing over work or even over photos is a way to train your hand to hold and wield a pencil/stylus properly without you being worried about the finished product. Think of it like a way to dip your toe into learning the process of what making art feels like, without having to get overwhelmed with searching up pointers and people telling you, "10 quick tips to become a master artist!!!!!!!" (<- please ignore those) If you’re just beginning, your hand-eye coordination needs to be trained, and you shouldn't bog yourself down so much thinking about end products just yet, so if tracing is the way to get you started, go for it. If you're a bit more experienced, tracing and drawing over reference can also help you warm up without being committal or stressing your art brain too much.

3: Practice "mindful tracing." While I said the previous point was targeted more at beginners, this point is actually about something that experts in their field use. Doing "mindful tracing" over art means that you aren't worried about getting the lines "correct," you're studying why those lines are there. You're taking note of where the shadows meet the highlights based on the light source, how it shows off the forms, and how sharp or soft the lighting is; you're going over the lines of action in the piece to see how your eye is guided by the artist's intention and planning; you're seeing how characters may be stylized into shapes and the feeling that those shapes can give; you're noting how the artist uses line weight or weird blocks of color or stark breaks to split up the art or separate ideas within it; you're experiencing the flow of the poses within the artwork to grasp how that kind of thing feels; you're breaking down the overall composition like in a thumbnail sketch; and the list goes on.

"Mindful tracing" ends up looking like you've marked up an English essay: it should be messy, because the intent with it is not to copy or replicate, it's to notate. It's like how literally writing notes on things helps you remember better than if you only read it. You're acknowledging instead of just looking. And you can always learn, even from styles that you don't intend on actually using. As you get to be more experienced, you may come to realize that you can do "mindful tracing" analyses on artwork without having to literally write over top of the piece, which is great: that means you're improving your creative brain, and prepping it to be able to break down your own works in this way as you make them.

4: Trace for specific character or style studying. For this point, I want to especially stress that this is what makes everyone say, "don't trace," because this is what tracing is most commonly associated with: art theft. There's really no excusable reason to repost someone's art in this way.

I feel like you have to be a bit more experienced to properly use tracing specifically for style studies. The benefits that come with tracing a certain style is that it can quite literally teach your hand/brain to recognize the patterns that are present. You get a feel for how far apart a specific characters eyes are, how big their hands are, how the shapes of the body make up their form, how the exaggeration in the expressions feel, and when traced you know you have all of these proportions correct. This makes it so much easier to start drawing the specific character on your own if you know that you have a correct baseline (and of course you should still use reference from then on). When you study many different characters of the same style, you can start to grasp what actually makes up this style that you're studying, where -similar to point #3- you train your art brain to recognize the original artists' intentions and ideas. I would even argue that doing this is MORE IMPORTANT than using reference at the very beginning of a style study, because it makes you worry less about if you're pulling from the reference correctly and instead lets you focus on the original art by thinking through it during the process; this kind of thing is done by professionals. Although tracing can net you these benefits for studies, it is not a way to get around the rest of the learning process, which is the pitfall that normally ends up making tracing ineffective.

5: Lastly, I actually kind of lied about tracing "only being good as a learning tool." The other case where tracing gets used is within the process of making hand drawn animation, and I do mean the professional stuff. Model guides are constantly used in classic animation as reference to keep by the animator's side so that characters stay on model, but sometimes there are unnoticeable parts of a character that just get straight-up traced from either the model sheet or a different scene that's already animated. When used smartly and sparingly, this keeps the character on model, is unidentifiable to the audience, and takes up less time for the animators to work (and by "used smartly" I don't mean moments where characters blatantly have 5 seconds of reused animation). I can basically guarantee that this practice was done throughout the making of any 2D project you can think of.

In digital hand drawn art, key frames between points in an animation may get the "shift and trace" treatment, where the tween frame is just a smudged-around-version of the key frames until it looks about right, and then it get traced over. Backgrounds get traced all the time by artists in the professional field through modelling a 3D render of the space, going over it so they have the layout, and then painting on top of it. When drawing characters, people will take photos of themselves and trace the pose, then keep it to the side as reference. And this is all without even mentioning rotoscoping.

When people say, "don't trace," what they actually mean is, "don't trace as a substitute for experience."

The issue is that people blanketly state, "x thing is bad," because then people that aren't learned in the field go, "oh, okay, x thing is bad, it will always be bad, I shouldn't look into it or consider it any more, and I should correct/disgrace anyone that thinks otherwise or does x thing."

So please. Trace. Tell other people to trace. But remember: trace mindfully. :)

[anotheroceanid]

I'm writing that Athenide lore fic like it's a myth book. I mean, it's more like a Athenide page on a greek mythology website, because I'm not fully sure about my approach to it yet, but the idea is keeping it very open... If that makes sense? Idk. It's 5pm, I need some sleep. But here it go. (Now I'll sleep)

PERSE was the goddess of loyalty, seafarers, sea warfare, demigods, olive oil and destruction¹, among other debated domains². She is depicted as a girl in marriageable age, sometimes in a bridal attire or wearing a laurel wreath, carrying an olive branch in her right hand and a sword in her left hand. She is associated with the Roman goddess, Fides. She is the daughter of Poseidon and Athena, conceived without sex, during their contest for the city of Athens. While her mother was a patron, Perse was the living representation of the city, though her cult was successfully exported around the Mediterranean through sailors. Being the only child of Athena³, she was more commonly referred to as Athenide, for her actual name was rarely invoked vainly. Very much like swearing to Styx, speaking upon Perse’s names was taken very seriously. Once she was mentioned, no lie could be told. Willing or not, whatever said before or after the goddess’ name became a promise—breaking it would be the same as cursing oneself. Athenide’s cult had five main branches that can be easily traced—Athenide of the City (Polias), the Athenide of the Children (Kourotrophos), the Bride Athenide (Nymphia), Warlike Athenide (Areia), Athenide of Good Sailing (Euploia). Other cults(4) have been identified, but their practices are unknown due to lack of sources or the secrecy of their rites. The Polias aspect was exclusive to Athens, for there was her birthplace. Athenide was, for all that matters, the first citizen of Athens, she could not be stolen from the city. Other regions could venerate her, but the city and the goddess were conjoined. The festivals and rituals to Athenide Polias were all tied to the city, they could not be replicated anywhere else. Another important cult was of Athenide Kourotrophos, associated with parenting. Athenide famously raised two gods when they were still mortals—Dionysus and Asclepius—but also participated direct or indirectly in the upbringing of other heroes, so she was believed to protect kids from great dangers. Besides, her cult often crossed Apollo’s and Artemis’, both protectors of children, to honour Athenide was considered a way to please the twins. Though Athenide herself never married, her most widespread and represented version of her is Nymphia: Athenide, the eternal bride—waiting for a betrothed. The matter of Athenide’s hand in marriage is recurrent theme in myths, though no man was ever proven worthy of her. Her bridal aspect was revered as the ideal bride. Mothers would pray for her to help their daughters marry gentle man, families would asks for virtuous brides for their sons, her name was invoked in wedding ceremonies, and a part of the bride’s dowry should be offered to her. Athenide Areia was represented following her mother to war—Wisdom brings Loyalty into battle. She represented the pact every warrior had with their land, that their loyalty would be repaid with victory and a safe return to home. The Romans became particularly fond of this concept, and Perse Athenide became Fides, who represented absolute loyalty to Rome above all else, and they invoked her name before every battle. Desertion was a crime punishable by death and after death, as one could not lie upon the name of Fides. In her aspect of Athenide Euploia, she protected anyone who was in the sea. Before travels, long or not, a offering for Athenide was expected in exchange for a safe journey—one in each port where the ship docked. Despite the exigence, this seemed to be the least “expensive” of the cults, as the sailors would gift the goddess with self-made crafts and trinkets from their travels. It is unknown why, but this is the most “child-like” aspect of the goddess. Euploia is often represented as a young girl, usually with her father, leading to the conclusion that the sailors were gifting her with the same toys they’d give to their own kids, should they ever return home. While other aspects existed, their cults are mysteries, as extensive literature about Athenide was mysteriously lost across the centuries.

[ihatethecrowdsyouknowthat]

ethereal - spencer reid x fem!reader

upon spencer's long-awaited return from a case, reader dresses up just for him and he gives her a new first

genre: smut wc: 1.8k warnings: soft dom!spencer, sub!reader, reader wears lingerie, mentioned masturbation (f), fingering, praise, squirting a/n: this is two anon requests i decided to put into one! --ty @spencerreidsrightsock for helping me brainstorm<3

It’s not like you to be doing so much for a man. You think of it as silly because it is. If a man really likes you, then you shouldn’t need to dress up for him.

But you really like dressing up anyways.

So here you are. In a see-through negligee that covers only your chest and ends at mid thigh. Below the bust line it’s completely sheer fabric, floating out like a princess’ nightgown only with fully visible panties. The colour white–usually symbolizing purity–makes you seem anything but.

You fear it’s appropriate for the occasion.

Because Spencer rarely is away this long. Usually it’s days–no more than five. This time, it’s been ten.

You know, you know, it’s a tough case, a tricky situation. But you’re needy. You haven’t been this long without him since you started dating. Sure, you could take matters into your own hands like most grown women do, but where’s the fun in that? Besides, he does it better. You can picture it, relive it, but it’ll never be the same. It’ll never beat the feeling of his fingers curling inside you. You’ll never be able to replicate that perfect rhythm he seems to find every damn time.

So you’re worse than usual. The moment the text came through that he was coming home in a few short hours, you essentially rushed to his apartment, but not before remembering the lingerie you purchased after a night of drinking with friends. You slipped it on and couldn’t help but admire yourself. Applause was surely in order for your tipsy self.

It’s not strange for you to be in his apartment when he’s not. Sometimes he’ll text, asking you to meet him at home. It typically means that he wants to see you in his bed as soon as possible. Since you came into the picture, he allowed sex to become a form of stress relief with the added bonus of being close to you. Spencer finds solace in giving you all the pleasure you could ever ask for. You assured him time and time again that being used by him was also pleasing, but he still insists on giving you as many orgasms as you can take.

Your lips freshly glossed, you fix your hair intently. When you hear his key enter the lock, your legs move quicker than it’s safe. The carpet in front of his desk makes for a perfect runway.

Your hands become fists on your hips as you attempt a pose to show off the lingerie he’s never had a chance to see.

“Sorry I’m so late, Emily had to talk to us about a case we’re consulting…” and then he sees you, eyes making their way over every dip of your body and every ripple in the fabric, “is that–uh–new?”

Spencer’s Adam's apple bobs around a gulp as your cheeks heat up. “I ordered it a few months ago.”

“Nice.” The word comes out in a higher pitch than usual, making him clear his throat after.

A few short steps bring him close enough to touch. His hands find the chiffon over your hips. The eyes you love–the ones that you find have memorized you several times over–come down to meet yours. “You look… ethereal.”

It’s definitely demeaning how you look up at him. Doe-ish, wide and sparkling like shimmering glitter. The compliments he loves to shower you in never fail to turn you into nothing. You’re unnecessarily sensitive to his praise.

“Really?” you whisper bashfully, lips curled into a grin.

“Really.”

Your arms wrap loosely around his neck as you lift yourself higher, standing on the tips of your toes to transfer some of the pink gloss from your lips to his. “Do you want to go to bed?” you ask gently.

Spencer nods and lays a kiss to the top of your head. “Go ahead, I’ll be right in.”

As if he commanded you to run as fast as you can, you pad into the bedroom, your bare feet bringing you to the soft mattress so you can climb onto it. You sit on your knees, the bed sinking beneath your weight. Only a few moments later, after shedding his coat and his bag, he finds you. His shoes come off before he’s mirroring your position on the mattress and his mouth connects with yours.

A hand tugs on your hair just enough to make you whine while the other reaches under the negligee to rest on the small of your back. His hand is warm, the rough skin of his thumb making passes as his lips part against yours.

“I missed you,” he mumbles, placing you gently on the pillows. Of their own volition, your knees open to give him room to start lavishing your neck with kisses.

“I missed you, too.” Your hand comes to his head, using his curls as leverage to bring him back up for a kiss. Hot and messy, your tongues collide, ragged breaths coming from both of you.

An insistent but reverent grip lands on your inner thigh. Spencer pushes your leg up, allowing you to hook it around his waist. In-between open-mouthed kisses moving swiftly down your chest, he murmurs a gentle, “you’re so, so pretty.”

Again, you’ve never said you’re strong. A moan desperately falls from your lips. You watch carefully as his eyes glide over your white panties or, more specifically, the small bow on the front of them. As they then lift to meet your starry ones, his fingers find the fabric covering your core.

“Is this okay?”

And you nod.

Any other day, he’d be hellbent on making you say it aloud but, for right now, after so long without you, a simple nod will suffice.

He moves the fabric to the side and gathers the surprising amount of wetness on his fingertips only to drag it upwards and start circling your clit. A buck of your hips makes him grin.

“What do you want?” Spencer asks gently, fingers speeding up, effectively rendering you speechless.

“Uh–fingers?”

He nods, letting two digits slip inside your entrance. The tips of his fingers hit your sweet spot on the first curl, making you whine and clench. “Good girl,” he praises while his other hand strokes the outside of your thigh soothingly.

The slight stretch turns into a throbbing sensation that makes your head spin. With every thrust, his palm hits your sensitive clit. You drip into his hand while whines leave your mouth.

His eyes never once leave your red face. He revels in how your lips part in a silent cry. This moment was only just a part of his reverie when he was away, the lonely hotel room being kept tolerable by every memory he’s accumulated of you since you met. Now that you’re wrapped around him outside of some petulant daydream, he can say everything is perfect.

In a fit of absolute need, your hips grind against his hand. His voice comes in a delicate whisper in your ear, “that’s it… you need more?”

A whine and an eager nod brings upon an instantly quicker pace. Driving into your G-spot, he makes sure to keep a consistent pace that makes your legs shake. It’s this pace that makes you embarrassingly close to coming already.

Your thighs clamp around his hand with force. You babble, barely coherent, “Spencer– I–I can’t… can’t–”

But it seems he couldn’t care at all less because he simply shushes you and places a sticky peck to your mouth. “Yes, you can, you’re doing so good.”

Breathing becomes difficult as his thrusts never once falter. The repeated bruising force against your most sensitive and sweetest point is quick to force you into a suspended state of fog and brain-curdling bliss. You’re uncertain on what the reason is as to why you desperately try to stop his motions but you’re glad he doesn’t let you. Because the moment he hits that spot one more time, you’re severely gone.

His lips leave gentle kisses all over your face as he patiently waits for your high to fall. And when it does, he’s right there to kiss you properly, as if communicating his love for you in a way you’ll understand in your haze.

“Do you think you can give me one more?” he mutters in a question, still pressing sickeningly sweet pecks down your neck.

As tired as your body is from only one orgasm, you crave impossibly more from him. So, you sigh, “yeah.”

Your underwear–the unnecessary barrier it is–is pulled down your legs slowly. After it’s been discarded on the floor, Spencer moves to your side, pulling your leg over his lap. He pulls the negligee further up your stomach before returning his hand to its rightful place between your thighs.

The embarrassing amount of wetness is collected by his fingers and spread over you teasingly. How sensitive you are is obvious by the whimpers slipping out of you uncontrolled. So, when his two digits make contact with your swollen clit, you turn your head and moan into his chest.

“Spencer, please,” you whine.

His free hand rubs circles into your waist. “I got you, baby,” he coos, “it’s okay.”

With no resistance, his fingers slip inside you again, your walls accommodating him immediately. This time, you can already tell, you won’t last long at all. Of course, he presses against your G-spot, but now, without any mercy.

Your core clenches with every rough thrust inside you. His shirt makes for something to muffle your cries.

“Fuck, S–Spencer, I’m gonna come again,” you mumble rapidly against him.

“Yeah?”

An eager nod against his chest seems to make him want to delay your impending orgasm. He takes his fingers out of you to toy with your clit instead. Although a minor setback that makes you whimper, his quickly moving hand moves in circles that bring that pleasure back even more intense.

It builds fast in your lower stomach, so fast your eyes roll back and your hips try to get away. But he’s too consistent. Your walls flutter around nothing as your second orgasm of the evening hits you hard. Spencer’s fingers work you through as you contract against them. A stream of fluid gushes out of your center, successfully soaking the sheets. It’s unfamiliar and something you never knew you were capable of.

The gentle circles he makes on your clit after you come dissipate into nothing as he looks down at you.

You mumble, voice laced with exasperation, “I’ve never done that… before.”

He knew, of course, that you’ve yet to do that with him but he is surprised that this time had been the first in your life.

“No?”

“I’m sorry.”

A surprised and honestly affectionate laugh leaves him. “Why?”

“I made a mess.”

“A mess that can be cleaned. Right now, that’s not something you need to think about.”

You look down at the lingerie you put on for him and smile bashfully, “you really like it?”And he does nothing but nod. “I love it.”

[deerspherestudios]

First of all, hello

What is Atom's love language?

I like the fingers referring to the characters' love language, It's very interesting.

(I apologize if something is not understood, English is not my native language)

Greetings from Mexico 🇲🇽, take care of yourself, eat and drink water in a healthy way please ^^

//RUBS HANDS THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME HERE IT IS 💜

This is about the most ✨self-indulgent✨ I can get with one of my characters because Atom is just about the BIGGEST simp there is among the cast. Here you go:

•┈••♡❤ Atom's Love Language(s) ❤♡••┈•

When you're on the receiving end; Mixed 🫴🎁💖

The thing with Atom is that it is entirely committed to returning the favor you did for them so long ago, like they said, "their kind answer action in spades."

And if that means providing every single whim your human heart desired, this could translate to offering both gifts and acts of service.

It is devoting it's entire being to that task (literally!) while you're staying on that ship.

I wish I could wax poetry here but it wants to be your vacuum cleaner, your Ford Cortina, your coffee pot, your leccy meter, your portable heater, your setting lotion. //lyr

You name it, Atom will become it!!

Nothing makes it happier than to pamper you like they strongly believe you should be for being their silver lining in darkness, their luna nova.

If Atom had the vocabulary to gush about you I would add words of affirmation here too. Alas, they only have themselves to give and hope you understand just how devoted they were to you for the rest of their life without saying it outright.

They just really really really love you, okay?

When it's on the receiving end; Physical Touch 🫂💕

Boy, where do I start! Touchstarved lads you're in for a treat.

It can't can't can't get the feeling of your gloves enclosing it so gently all those months ago out of its mindddd.

They wish to replicate that feeling by touching you anytime they can. Absolutely fascinated with your hands, in complete awe these were the ones that brought it to safety. They are nuzzling against your palms as we speak!

It's fully aware most humans get the ick when it comes to touching worms so while they wish they could touch you directly, most of the time it'll stay inside the suit.

It can sense touch from any part of the suit, so their helmet, gloves, boots, soles even, anywhere really.

They go bonkers for a headpat, go insane for a little peck on the glass of their helm. Hug them and they might implode.

If you're touch-averse, it'll try to respect it but they're gonna be vibrating from restrained effort the entire time sorry.

To the point if they're desperate, they'll just end up with tunnel vision on your presence at all times since they can feel through the ship, hyperfixating on the weight of your boots against the metal grating if they have to, literally worshipping you at your feet.

Overall their favorite activity is cuddling for sure and if you reciprocate, you'll find that they are very compact and huggable, 10/10.

In my deranged moments I've always wondered what it's like to hug the Michelin man and I think hugging Atom will feel similar.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[finelinevogue]

hi!! can I get an azriel fic where he and the reader had a fight before a battle or mission and then she is presumed dead so he spends his days spiraling with guilt and he misses her a lot and that stuff. And then when she makes it back he finally confesses his feelings to her and happy ending :) bonus if she's rhys' sister but not necessary. thank u so much and happy new year!!

please come back

thank you so much for your request - i hope this lived up to expectations since i’ve wanted to write a fic like this for ages 💫

word count - 1.6k

“Where is she?”

“Az.. We… We don’t—.”

“I said where is she?” Azriel bellowed, readying Truthteller for anything.

Rhys rubbed a bloody hand over his chin whilst Cassian hung his head low.

Rhys looked at Azriel with those deep violet eyes, conveying a whole conversation to him without having to use any words.

Truthteller dropped to the ground.

Azriel followed.

His knees let out an earth shattering crack as he crumbled onto the floor. His whole body went slack, his entire demeanour changing from how he had been seconds before.

How evil a few seconds could turn life into.

“No.” He whispered to the wind.

“Az…”

“No!” He screamed, spit and blood flying from his lips - blood from the battle which he didn’t feel like they’d won anymore.

Why had any of that been worth it?

Days of war and fighting, and for what?

The peace and safety of the Night Court wad restored once more, but was life worth truly living without his person living beside him? He couldn’t even comprehend the thought of figuring that question out.

He could feel the bond slipping away. That once golden-feel thread, rusting and greying away.

Azriel tried pulling on the bond with all he had, whispering pleads under his breath. “Please, please.” He pulled and pulled, but the void when nothing pulled back was too empty to deal with.

“I’m sorry, brother.” Rhys said, kneeling down in front of Azriel. “I’m sorry.”

“Tell me it isn’t true.” Azriel looked from his blood-caked hands and into his brother’s eyes once more.

Azriel’s own eyes pooled with tears. He didn’t think he had any energy left to think, let alone cry and yet the tears would not stop falling.

His body rocked as his cries took over him.

He felt like the world was ending and he was ending with it.

He pulled that bond again, wishing for anything to give him a sign that you were at least trying to pull back - to give Azriel reason to believe you were still there - but all he felt was nothing.

🦇 • 🤎• 🦇

The sun was setting when Azriel woke up.

He sat up in your once shared bed, holding himself up by his hands behind him.

He looked from the setting sun to your side of the bed. He’d set up your pillows so it looked like your body was underneath the sheets. They had dents in from where he’d been holding them at night - trying to replicate the feeling of you.

He can’t believe you were gone.

Azriel took one of his hands and placed it over his heart, tugging at that thread - he wasn’t giving it up so easily. He could feel it still there, only it felt distant. Distant didn’t mean forever gone, though.

And so he pulled.

Every morning - or evening - he rose, he pulled.

🦇 • 🤎• 🦇

“You look…” Cassian started as Azriel entered the kitchen.

Cassian was sat at the table eating some bread and sauce - forever snacking.

“Handsome?” Azriel asked in a teasing voice

“You don’t want me to answer that honestly.” Cassian shook his head, tearing off a bit of bread and throwing it across the table for Azriel to catch.

Azriel caught it with one hand and immediately took a bite from it. It didn’t take an intelligent someone to know that Cassian was just trying to make sure Azriel remembered to eat, seeing as he kept ‘forgetting to’ recently.

Azriel hadn’t attended family dinner in 2 days - the battle having ended 3 days ago.

Cassian was impressed that Azriel was even out of bed - proud, even.

“Answer me this, then.” Azriel counter offered, “If… If you thought there was still a small chance the bond was still alive between you and Nesta, even though she’d… gone, would you pull it? Persue it?”

“Without hesitation.” Cassian nodded.

Azriel nodded in agreement.

“Why—.”

“It’s nothing.” Azriel shook his head, leaving the bread on the table and disappearing from the room once more.

“What a weird guy.” Cassian spoke to no-one as he dipped his bread into a spicy-red sauce.

🦇 • 🤎• 🦇

You looked peaceful.

Madja had dressed you in lilac robes - traditional to your homeland for your upcoming memorial service.

You were lying to rest in a room away from the main part of the House of Wind. You looked so beautiful. Your Fae skin had not yet withered or cracked.

“Hello, my love.” Azriel said, brushing the tips of his fingers over your cheek.

Azriel had been coming down to speak to you every spare moment he had, not wanting to miss a single second he had to watch over you.

“Are you ready to come back yet?”

He tugged that bond and he tugged it hard.

🦇 • 🤎• 🦇

It was the third morning.

Azriel was at his desk, writing away as he often did in the mornings. His diary was the one constant - other than you - that he had always known he could turn to each day.

Now with you gone, he–

Mor burst through the door, panting like she’d run up the steps to reach the House of Wind.

Azriel hadn’t noticed he’d dropped his pen and spilt the ink everywhere. Mor had startled him, but his shadows had calmed him.

Mor caught her breath long enough for her to speak two words.

“She’s awake.”

And that’s when he noticed he could feel it; the bond.

🦇 • 🤎• 🦇

Azriel was running faster than he had ever before.

He sprinted down the halls, apologising when he knocked over a vase but continuing nevertheless.

When he approached the end of the hallway that led to that door, he spotted Rhys speaking to Madja just in front of it.

Azriel slowed down his pace until he was actually apprehensively approaching the door.

He looked at Madja first, needing medical reassurance more than anything. If this was real, how did the Mother pull this off? He would owe his soul for this.

Madja gave Azriel a knowing look that made Azriel want to crumple to the floor and kiss at the feet of the Gods.

Madja, Rhys and Mor stood beside the door as Azriel didn't waste a single moment more waiting behind the doors. He pushed them open widely and for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, he saw your eyes open.

You smiled at him from across the room and he was done for.

Azriel's shadows went into a frenzy to reach you and you laughed as they hugged and tickled you, moulding around your body in a protective cocoon.

"I came back." You said.

Azriel nodded, not understand how this was even possible. How was this possible? Could Madja even explain this phenomenon?

"You.. You were..."

"I know." You nodded sadly. "I can't imagine how that must have been for you."

"I pulled on the bond every other moment." Azriel walked towards you slowly, careful to tread carefully in case he blurred the dream that he was sure he was dreaming.

"I know." You rested your hand on your chest. "I could feel it."

"You could?"

"I'm certain that you brought me back, Az."

His shadows met back with him but only because he was so close to you now. Close enough to be able to reach out and make sure you were real.

He brought a scarred hand up to your cheek, hesitating in case this was some cruel trick. His hand hovered where he wanted to cup your cheek, like he was internally stuck with choosing what to do next.

"It's okay. I'm here."

You moved for him and pressed your skin into his.

Azriel gasped as he felt how real you were beneath his own body. He quickly brought his other hand to cup your other cheek and greedily bring your lips close to his so he could seal this moment with a kiss.

The kiss poured all of his love for you back into him.

He felt that bond grow tighter in his chest, begging to burst out and fill the room with the endless happy that you brought him.

"You're here." He said between kisses, not letting you go for a moment.

"I am."

Azriel's kisses were hungry and desperate. It was almost like he refused to believe this was real and that he would lose you the moment he stopped. As much as you loved him and his kisses, you did need to breathe and so you reluctantly pulled away.

"No..." Azriel whined, desperate to pull you back.

You cupped his cheeks this time, grounding him to you. "Hey, sweetheart, I am here. I am right here. We have all the time in the world. I'm okay."

"We're okay." And he sealed the fact with another kiss.

🦇 • 🤎• 🦇

"Az, get off!"

You laughed as you tried to push him off of your side of the bed.

"You're too big." You grunted as you tried to move him off you, but he was too big of a lump of muscle to move. Of course you were only struggling to suffer - you actually quite enjoyed the feeling of him on you. If it comforted him then it comforted you.

"I am, aren't I." He said cheekily, like a teen Illyrian.

"Ugh." You rolled your eyes, but were glad to see he'd gotten his spark back. "I give up."

You stayed laid down, Azriel's body completely wrapped over yours and his legs intertwined with yours. His arms were wrapped so snug around you that you couldn't move even if you did want to. Seemed like he was attached to you from here until forever.

"Good." He said. "Now, let's sleep."

He gave one last tug on the bond before you tried to go to sleep and he was only comfortable enough to go to sleep when he felt you tug back.

[jewishvitya]

What do you mean by antizionist?

I mean I'm against the Zionist movement, the ideas that became dominant in it, and what it did in practice as a result of those ideas.

Specifically, I'm pro-Palestine and I think we shouldn't hold onto lands we conquered after driving away other populations, including pre-48 borders. If a Palestinian family was driven away from Akka, or Akko, however you want to call it, they should get to return to it.

In theory, more broadly, it means I'm against the concept of a state that prioritizes and caters to a specific ethnic group. If you think "but there are other countries that do that," I'm not as familiar with their politics, I still think that's wrong, and I'm going to focus on the place where I was born because... this is where I live. I don't trust the idea of a country made to prioritize a specific ethnicity. I believe that even if there was "a land without a people for the people without a land" - which there wasn't, Palestine was already inhabited - there was never going to be a way to build a Jewish state without ending up with the oppression and marginalization of non-Jewish people.

It's not that I think Jewish people don't have the right to live in this land. If we came here as refugees and tried to seek coexistence with the local population, without the aim to build a country on top of their cities and villages, this might have been a very different story. There has always been Jewish immigration to Palestine on some level, and there was always a Jewish community living here. Long before the Zionist movement. So for me it's about how the Zionist movement replicated the methods and actions of colonialist movements, and used the British who were occupying it at the time to give us legitimacy when they never had the right to give away land that wasn't theirs. I don't think this can be excused just because we have cultural and historical ties to this land.

Even if Israel was conceived as a shelter, this started with us destroying whole communities because that's what conquering a land means, and it was always going to lead to more of the same. Self defense has been used as an excuse to harm other populations all throughout history. Either on the scale of war, like conquering and expanding to preemptively deal with the threat of sharing a border with another nation, or in internal politics, like mistreating immigrants, or like transphobes using the idea of safety to create laws that hurt trans people. Or even socially, without needing laws, like we also see happening with trans people.

Self defense is a concept that can be weaponized, and does get weaponized all the time. And over the past year and a half we used it to destroy Gaza, bomb and starve its population, make it essentially uninhabitable. And we still call it self defense.

Unless all human beings are equally prioritized, even "self defense" and the idea of shelter become weapons.

So I'm against the concept, beyond what it ended up doing in practice, because I don't see a way the Zionist movement could have achieved anything without destroying a population wherever it tried to start a country, and even without that initial population I don't see a way to create a state that prioritizes us without marginalizing non-Jews living among us.

We have a right to safety. Not to be an oppressive occupying force. I believe this path was always wrong to pursue.

[jasscheeks]

haikyuu ; the wing spikers

their reactions to if you had to go home

pairings: iwaizumi, tsukishima, hinata, osamu, ushijima, bokuto, suna, and asahi x fem!reader

i hope this isn’t too longgg i just wanted to make sure i got just abt everyone

tell me if i forget anybody or there’s someone else you want to see!

warnings: after-timeskip characters, i love ushijima yall

m.list

pretty setter edition

IWAIZUMI hops up with you when you get up and starts helping you look for your stuff. you'd been staying over for a few days, it might've been longer but the two of you stopped counting. you stayed so long to the point where he'd reserved a few drawers and hangers for your clothes, making his apartment a place where you can live comfortably. his house became like a home away from home to you, just like he intended.

but you're confused as he starts following you towards the door and slipping his shoes on with you. last time you checked, you were the one who didn't live here. "iwa? where are you going?" you ask but he just shrugs and grabs both of your coats and sidles behind you.

"what do you mean?" he holds your jacket open for you to slip your arms through. "i'm taking you back to your apartment," he explained as you turned towards him, helping you adjust the sleeves of your jacket.

you looked up at your boyfriend as if he'd grown another eye. "it's pretty late though," you then returned the gesture as you helped him put his coat on. while you straightened out the front of his jacket, he took the opportunity to wrap his arms around your shoulders.

"babe that's even more of a reason for me to take you," he chuckled, eyes practically glistening as he stared down at you. "there's no way i'm letting you take the subway alone this late at night," he told you before pressing a kiss to your forehead. seeing the look on your face, he could tell you were readying your protest. so he beat you to it, "and it's fine, i want to drive you home, that's just more time together."

so without another word, you hopped into the passenger's seat of iwaizumi's car. your laughter, the music you played between your shared account, and your singing filled the interior. as he glanced over at you, a smile immediately plastered itself on your lips, proving iwaizumi's point that he couldn't be any happier than when he's with you. you bring a certain light to any situation that no one can replicate.

however, on the ride back it was quiet, just him and the playlist the two of you had created. the whole ride every song would remind him of you, and he could imagine you now, singing your heart out in the passenger seat. he could hear your coax as you desperately tried to get him to sing at least one line. but looking over at the passenger's side, he was met with the vacant space that was reserved for you only.

back at his apartment, it wasn't any better now that everything reminded him of you. he saw you at every crevice and every turn, it was starting to feel a little lonely and empty without his other half around. you lit up his apartment with your very presence, every single lamp would simply pale in comparison.

20 minutes into the silence, he was starting to think that maybe he should've convinced you to spend just one more night.

"what are you doing?" TSUKISHIMA asks, seeing you slowly gathering your stuff together. you'd just been lounging about in his apartment, now watching some random movie on netflix as you cuddled into his side.

well, you were until you suddenly got up and grabbed your bag and started shoving your stuff inside.

even though tsukishima would never admit it, he loved having you so close. you were so warm and cuddly that he couldn’t help but want to keep you around him, it was hard not to miss you. so feeling your body heat leave his side he immediately noticed and turned to look at you.

peering over your shoulder, you can already feel his hard stare on you before even making eye contact. without his glasses, he looked even sharper than he is with them on.

“oh, it's just, it’s getting a little late tsuki," you stated as you gently put your bag down, your arms relaxing, "i don't want to overstay my welcome, you know?"

his eyebrow quirked up just hearing that. "overstay?" he repeated, sass laced throughout his voice. you turned completely towards him before he shook his head and reached over, "what are you on about?" he grunted as he grabbed a hold of your hand and pulled you back into his arms, returning you to his side just as you were.

"just..." he looked down at you only to pause seeing the way you were ogling at him. just seeing your eyes sparkle, he could've sworn he felt his heart stop for a second. it didn't help that he found you to be the prettiest girl on the planet. and to think you were here and only had eyes for him, he felt like the luckiest guy alive.

looking away, he felt his cheeks warm up as blood rushed to his face. "stay for now..." he then muttered, "and stop looking at me like that."

your sweet, sweet giggles filled the air, knowing the way tsukishima gets embarrassed all too well. he can never fool you, even as he tried to look all tough you could still see the tips of his ears turning red like apples. "stop looking at you like what?" you teased, laying your head on his chest, intertwining your fingers with the hand he had wrapped around your waist.

he didn't dare look at you, knowing you'd only tease him more. you were beating him at his own game like you always did, doing the exact thing that made him fall head over heels for you. "i don’t find you funny," he quipped in the most serious tone he could muster, but he's lying straight through his teeth.

HINATA watched on curiously, as you kissed his cheek and stood up from the couch the two of you had huddled together on. “huh?” he asked out loud, waiting for you to repeat what you had just said.

his eyes followed you as you walked to the kitchen, watching as you grabbed your keys from the counter, the jingle of them immediately catching his attention. that sound was way too familiar for him, and he had an idea of what was coming next.

"you’re going home?" he asked as he leant his head backwards over the head of the couch, his vision looking as though you were walking on the ceiling towards the bedroom. a few seconds passed by and you were walking out with your bag, eyes finding his. you were definitely leaving, and he could already feel his heart dropping.

as you approached him, you snorted, his silly posture tickling your heartstrings. placing your hands on either side of his face, you leant over to press a soft kiss onto his pouted lips. "mhm, it’s about that time,” you confirmed his worst fear. as soon as the two of you parted he was quick to sit up, seemingly giving himself whiplash but that never was the case with hinata.

“but why?” he asked, slightly making you jump at his sudden outburst of energy. “you’re leaving already? it feels like you just got here…” he scratched the back of his head, his eyebrows knitting together.

whenever he was with you, his internal clock slowed down so he could savor every moment with you. time passed by so excruciatingly slow, though he’d rather that than time to fly by. he noticed that he truly wanted to be present for every minute when he was near you, so of course he made sure to give you his utmost attention.

and he was quite well at what he did. he’s never made you feel like he wasn’t listening or like he was annoyed with your presence. in his eyes, you were like the sun and him the sunflower that made it a point to find the sun. “shoyo, i’ve been here all day!” you giggled those contagious giggles he was drinking up, his own smile growing onto his lips as well. throwing your arms over his shoulders from where you stood behind the couch, your laughter filled his ears. you just couldn’t help it, he was cute without even trying.

his muscular hand met your side, the other grabbing hold of your arm. “no, seriously! you really can’t stay?” he asked as he slightly laughed just hearing your bellows. his thumb rubbed soothing circles into your arm, hoping that this little bit would convince you.

his eyes gave you that same look he always gave you when you had to leave. eyebrows furrowed, brown eyes filled with sadness, and the tiny jut of his lips, you knew his tricks all too well. “please? just one night?” he added, flashing a pleading smile your way.

just like you knew him, he knew you all too well. he could see you crumbling bit by bit, internally debating if you should stay or not. and of course, it was clear to the both of you that soon “one night” would turn into multiple.

you sighed, tilting your head to the side as you played with the orange hairs that fell at the back of his neck. “mmm…fine, just one more night,” you bit his bait, immediately noticing the victorious smile that curled itself onto his lips.

he pulled you in close and pressed a long kiss into your check, “alright! now come back over here! i’m starting to get cold,” he released you from his arms, watching giddily as you made your way around and back into his cuddles, right where you belonged.

OSAMU is confused when you start making moves to leave. you start talking about how late it is and how you have a class in the morning. but how could you even think about leaving when the both of you are so comfortable, snuggled up on his bed right now? he can be the one to take you to your classes too, problem solved.

but he sees you slowly moving away, and it's hurting his heart bit by bit. "babe, you're hurting my feelings right now, where are you going?" he asked, sneaky fingers inching closer to your waist.

you freeze, eyes finally meeting his. the look in them is unreadable, but you can tell by the tone of his voice he doesn't appreciate you scooting off the bed. "it's about time i start heading home, 'samu. i've been here all day," you answered, not even noticing the arm he snaked around your waist.

he shrugged, "duh, but i don't mind," he quipped as he slowly pulled you back into his chest, "can't this be like your second home?" he cuddled back into you, hoping you wouldn't move away again. "your home away from home?" he suggested, with his arms wrapped securely around you, he nuzzled his face into your neck like he had before.

"but ‘samu…” you asked him, your voice echoing in his ears. “are you sure?” he hummed back affirmatively, the sound of his deep voice vibrating against your neck, tickling your skin. you couldn't fight the smile that spread on your lips, "so if i moved in tomorrow you wouldn't be mad?" you asked again, making him hum confusedly.

"nope, actually, that can be arranged,” and just like that, he sent your heart straight to the clouds. he adjusted himself to where he hovered over your body with his arms holding him up. "i like it better when you're here, it looks and feels a lot brighter, ya' know?" his eyes bore into yours, the warm yet serious glint in them sending butterflies bounding around your insides. "maybe it's about time you move in."

you reached for his cheeks, a smile on your lips as you guided him back down. "guess i'm staying permanently, hmm?" softly, you pressed yours against his, your smile spreading to his lips with one touch. his woody musk and the smell of his restaurant filled your nostrils. its delicious scent filled your lungs and suddenly you craved his cooking. and of course, the only way you could get that was by spending the night.

his hands roamed down, pulling your leg to wrap around his waist, the mere feeling of his touch sending a whirlwind of butterflies fluttering through your stomach. as your kisses began to get a bit more feverish, both your hands began to wander around each other, the ins and outs of your bodies feeling like second nature to the two of you.

so softly, he murmured against your lips, “mhm, we can work the details out later, baby,” he kissed your chin this time, trailing his way down. “just for right now…stay, please.”

"i’d like it if you stayed," USHIJIMA suggested, turning his head to you. you sat with your body facing his, legs sitting over his lap as his big, strong hands massaged soothing circles over your calves. his massage only stopped when you’d mentioned heading back to your own apartment. “i like having you here,” he trailed a hand down from your knee to your ankle.

you blinked back, getting the exact answer you expected. you were merely testing the waters, considering this was the first time you’d stayed over for so long. “i’ve been here all day though, toshi,” you tilted your head to the side, eyes never once leaving his. so far the water was warm and inviting.

“doesn’t make me like it any less,” he shrugged back, directing his eyes to the pretty pair of legs sitting in his lap. “it’s fine, there’s no rule saying you can’t stay longer,” he grazed his gentle touch over your skin, the mere feeling of his calloused fingers gliding over you sent shivers up your spine. you loved how he expressed himself unapologetically. there was nothing but transparency between the two of you. no secrets, no lies, just transparent love.

ushijima wasn’t a man of many words, but when he felt strongly about something, he’d make it known. you always adored that about him. you could listen to him ramble about volleyball for hours, because the sparkle it brought to your lovers eyes was something worth witnessing.

he was much of the same, always giving you his undivided attention and respect when you’d open up to him. it’s only been a little bit over a year since the two of you started dating, but he could already see you being his last. just watching you smile and laugh as you recalled something from your day, he can already imagine you moving through your shared home, glistening ring on your finger as you joined him on the couch just as you are now. he wanted to be the reason behind that smile, behind that melodious laugh that could be heard from far and wide.

you’re his first and last love, and ushijima’s sure of it.

“so you don’t mind if i stay the night?” you flashed that sweet smile he often dreamt about. just looking at you he was transported back to the first time he met you at one of his games. back then he just knew he needed to have you, and his gut hasn’t proven him wrong yet.

exhaling through his nose laughing, he hooked an arm underneath your legs and pulled you further down the couch. dipping you back onto the plush cushions beneath you, you caught a glimpse of the grin on his lips as he hovered over you. “i wouldn’t mind if you decided to stay a lifetime,” he pressed a kiss into your cheek, picking his legs up onto the couch as well. as he pressed more kisses into your skin, he basked in the sweet giggles that fell from your lips, your soft hands meeting his cheeks.

“toshi, stop that tickles!” you squealed the closer he got to the crook of your neck, the exact place you were ticklish. he knew that of course, kissing that spot on purpose just to hear you laugh.

he pressed just a few more kisses into your jaw and cheeks, before he was coming up to meet your eyes. your smile was contagious, as he leant into the touch you ghosted over his cheek, craving for more, “so you’re staying over?” he asked, one last time.

just by the look in your eyes, he had an idea what the answer would be. pulling him back down you murmured against his lips, “i’m staying for a lifetime,” you smiled before pressing further, capturing his lips with yours.

BOKUTO goes into extreme sulk mode, he's as dramatic as can be. he's helping you get your stuff together, just very...very...slowly. he's hoping that maybe the slower he goes the faster you'll forget and stay over for a few more hours.

earlier you were showering him with kisses and endless affection, now you were talking about leaving him? what man would be okay with that? definitely not this one.

he can't function without waking up to your pretty face in the early mornings. who will he wait on in those late nights to come back to his arms? who will he try to make food for on those nights they want to have homemade food? and who will he have to hold him when he's feeling down? you were one of his life sources, he always feels so energized and content when he's in your presence.

"kou, for the last time, i'm not leaving you, i'm just leaving your apartment." you pressed your lips against his cheek, your hands holding either side of his face. here he was holding your waist against his slumped body, sunken shoulders conveying his distaste for the loss of your company. he mumbled something along the lines of that's basically the same thing, making you tut your lips at him.

he looked down at you, those dejected eyes telling you just how much he wanted you to stay. "babe, you can facetime me when i get home, i'll call you as soon as i get back."

"i know, i know...just," he nodded, leaning into your soft touch. he was never this sulky whenever you left his apartment. of course there was the occasional whining here and there, but this was a full-blown emotional roller coaster. "not even for a few more hours?" he tilted his head into the palm of your hand, letting his gaze remain locked on yours. he'd never shy away from making eye contact with you, you were just about the only thing he could stare at for hours on end.

his pretty girl, he's completely enamored by you he can't exist in a world without you, or better yet an apartment that doesn't have you in it. "not even, i have to go home and finish packing for my trip," you cooed, but for some reason that only made matters worse.

he'd almost let the fact that you'll be gone for a whole two weeks on your girl's trip to cancun slip from his mind. it was just the icing on the cake. why can't you just bring him along? he always argues that he wouldn't bother you at all unless you call for him. "ugh, that's two long weeks without you," he hugged you tighter, burying his face into your shoulder this time, relishing in the giggles that fell from your pretty lips. "i'm missing you already," he mumbled, as he nuzzled into your skin, feeling your soft touch along the base of his neck. the sound of your laugh lifted the weight off his shoulders just a little bit, but he still was torn over this.

even as you hop into your car and drive away, he's leaning on his doorframe, hoping you'll return home as soon as you can.

"why are you trying to leave?" SUNA demands in that monotone voice, his strong arms holding you tight against his chest. you squirmed all you could, giggling at how serious he was. he'd caught you red-handed as you tiptoed around his apartment discreetly gathering your things without notifying him first. he scooped you up so quick, keeping you in hug jail until you answered him.

it was all within good reason though. you knew exactly how he acted when you left his apartment. suddenly his clingy side would come out to play and you were back in his arms for another day or so. how could you say no to him? he was so pretty and his hazel eyes only melted that adamant facade you'd put up. suna rintarou was utterly irresistible in your eyes.

you weren't complaining though, because when you think about it, you like being at his apartment more than anywhere else. contrary to your joint friends' belief, his apartment was way more clean than they'd joked about. he kept it clean and tidy and always kept some of your clothes over so you'd have something to change into. but he did prefer you wear his clothes a lot more, saying they made you look cute.

"suna! let gooo, i promise i'll be back later!" you turned your head to look at him. as you lifted your hand to caress the left side of his face, he turned inwards so he could look at you. "we'll see each other on saturday," you giggled at the pout on his lips and the way his deadpan expression barely changed.

he shook his head, "it's tuesday, that's too far," he groaned before he unraveled his self from around you. instead, he ducked down and hooked an arm under your legs, supporting your back with his other arm as he hoisted you up into his arms. hearing your girly squeals and feeling you cling onto him for dear life, he snickered and mumbled a small, "i got you," adjusting your position so he could keep you secure against his chest.

swiftly, he began walking back to the bedroom, ready to return to that comfy position the two of you were just in, all before you so rudely got up and left him. "rin, i'm still leaving." you smacked his shoulder, noticing he was doing all he could to ignore your pleas.

he gently let you down onto the soft sheets, before crashing next to you, pulling you back into his arms. his grip was firm, even as you tried to break free from his arms, he wasn't budging at all. softly, he pressed a kiss against your forehead, smiling at the way you relaxed, "shhh, let's just sleep for now."

but even after he dragged you back to the bed, you found a way to get home after all. he stood at the doorframe, pulling out all the stops to get you to stay but you weren’t budging.

finally, you gave him his goodbye kiss, and of course he was trying to use that as opening to pull you back inside (he failed). expect a lengthy facetime call of him listing a plethora of pros if you move in together once you make it home.

"you're leaving?" ASAHI sleepily murmurs into your temple, his arms still draped around your frame. his big hands rested at the small of your back, and with his muscular arms hugging you close, you were basking in the warmth that emanated off of his core. and that only made it harder to move.

mumbling, you snuggled further into his chest as you snaked your arm up and around his shoulder, pulling yourself closer to him. "mhm...i gotta get home," the drowsy tone was still so prominent in your voice. your words held no real intention, because as long as asahi was the comfy, warm, grizzly bear that he is, you weren't moving a single inch.

after the day the two of you spent outside his apartment, this nap was much needed. he had taken you on quite the eventful date that lasted just about all day. first, you hit up your favorite breakfast place, then both of yours and his favorite clothing shops, he even bought you a few things and vice versa. on top of that he took you to a dine in movie theater. and again after the theater, he had to take you out to ice cream. the two of you came to the conclusion a few dates back that no date is complete without ice cream.

all that food and running around the city was definitely catching up to you both. it seemed as soon as you stepped foot in asahi's apartment, melatonin lingered in the air that had the two of you walking like zombies to his bed. he was quick to hoist you up into his arms, keeping you pressed up against his chest as the two of you dozed off.

"hm," he hummed, his soft yet deep voice echoing through your ears. "when are you leaving?" he asked, his sleepy voice sending butterflies throughout your body.

you hummed, trying to figure out just when you were going to leave. but the more you sunk into the warmth that was practically radiating off of his body, the more you didn’t want to leave. you'd been at his place all day, so you felt like it was about time you started heading home. but these cuddles were well-needed and heavily persuading your previous choices.

prying your eyes open, you searched his sleepy expression, your own drowsy mind taking over as you slowly blinked up at him. his eyes were fully closed and his lips were slightly parted, to which you placed a sweet kiss to the corner of. "in...a little bit," you finished. but that was most definitely a lie.

as his lips curled into a bashful grin, you were snuggling back into your position. already, you could feel yourself drifting off to take yet another nap, wrapped up in his arms.

thank you for reading!! and please repost! if i missed anybody or there’s someone you want to see, let me know!!!