#I ordered the refresh Cleo

[mxdragonturtle]

I ordered 2 more monster high dolls and I need them now

They aren’t scheduled to arrive for another 2 weeks but they better deliver faster

I am clawing at my screen they need to get here now

[special-inchrest]

The rush to watch all the POVs begins....

[monstersacrosstheuniverse]

Basteti

A mummified werecat loyal to Cleo De Nile. The two pretty much grew up together and are close childhood friends. Basteti is almost like a third De Nile sister and always acted like the peacemaker in between Cleo and Nefera’s childhood spats. She actually has stayed with the De Nile for such a long time that she forgot her last name and birth family. Basteti is very wise and pretty much always makes the correct decisions in life which has left her serving as Cleo’s advisor a lot of times. Basteti is as much of a friend as she can be a pet. She loves being cuddled and is an extremely affectionate person. She often pesters for people to pet her and to adore her for her cuteness. “Bu-but I’m cute!”,  is her catchphrase. Sometimes, people can find it a little annoying but because she is such a sweet, motherly soul, people find it hard to dislike her. She often fusses over her friends and is willing to protect them at any costs.  Out of Cleo’s friend group, Basteti is the closest to Ghoulia though she gets along fine with everyone else. 

Favorite Activities:

-Training her high kicks. 

-Ghoulia got her into skating -Decorating her clothes with glitter though she can be pretty clumsy with her work sometimes

Trivia:

When she was a young child, she was in an accident that left her tail badly injured and in need to be amputated. She has let go of the trauma for the most part, but she still feels a little ping of sadness when confronted with the other werecats at Monster High or when she’s struggling with phantom pain.

Basteti also functions as Cleo’s bodyguard and is skilled with various weapons. Recently, she has taken it up herself to train in martial arts.

She’s a sucker for princess gowns and will often wear fancy dresses with cape to match to school just because she adores the look so much. She ignores the people who tell her it isn’t prom yet. Creator's notes: I ordered a refresh Cleo doll but the universe hates me and sent me one with botched facepaint. So I decided to just make an OC out of her, complete with fake ears. Whilst I feel like Monster High doesn't do enough tails, I thought it was funny to have the one creature type always having tails to include some amputee representation through a tailless Basteti. This way, it adds some extra understanding and simpathy for Frankie in Cleo's case. And yes, I call it SIMPathy. Also, as for her face mold, as someone who wanted to be an archeologist when I was a little kid and was especially fond of Ancient Egypt, I can totally see what they were going for with Cleo however, the make-up could be a little more dramatic to make it more accurate from the visages of sarcophagus' we've seen. So I tried making Basteti's make-up a little more accurate.

[lildollfangs]

Manifesting my Amazon order for core refresh Cleo coming soon! Can you tell I have a favorite?

[rosiewalks]

2024 Dolly Year in Review

Things I did in dolly land this year: - Joined Memoa and some doll discords - Tried out shortform video (I don't really like making it) - Photographed every doll in my collection - Tried out a new printing service in Vistaprint; I'm very pleased with their note cards and post cards - Designed and mailed "dolliday" cards - Did piercings for both MH and RH - Commissioned hair dyes for Saffron, Gilly, Ophelia, and jr Jade - Did some small repainting: added freckles, redid lips, detailed shoes - Worked on storage organization and optimization - Finished Lagoona's bacta tank - Participated in Funguary & Mermay - Matched dolls to books I read

Dolls Acquired: 21 1-4 from Target: SH Berrie; Tweens Haribo & Cora; CR Cleo 5-10 from Ebay: GOML Leyla, Spring Pearl, & Minouk; OMG Ace; G3 Venus & Monster Fest Frankie 11-13 from IG/Discord: Jr Poppy; Creepro Ghoulia; Tweens Jenny 14-15 from Marketplace/Thrift: Mermaze Morra; Bratz Jade 16-21 were gifts: Wednesday; SH Nicole; MH Skelita; RH Sunny & Luna; Doll Leaves Ida March February of this year, I resolved to buy dolls only from the secondary market, to reduce impulse spending as well as cut down on the amount of waste and bad labor practices I was supporting by buying new. Very proud that I stuck to that -- the only doll I bought new from a store after March was Core Refresh Cleo.

Dolls sold/gifted I don't keep as good of track of this but I will in 2025!

Collection stats See collection page

There will be a companion post in the new year, talking about my goals & plans in dolly land for 2025

Top 3 favorite dolls

[cut for length; picture-heavy after cut]

🦇Lala 🦇

My little chronic illness buddy

🌼Ophelia🌼

Now that Mia dyed her hair, I like her so much.

🌿Venus🌿

I love it that she can sit in my cup holder, without flying out when I go around a curve.

Top 13 favorite photos, in no particular order 13 in honor of Monster High

Lala in her chair and by the pool, above

Kaylee for Dolliday Card 2024

Genevieve with my stepmother's mums

Wednesday in the graveyard, early morning

Also Wednesday

Poppy Jr. , custom dye by Mia with freckles and lip repaint by me

Whiskey at Longwood Gardens, my favorite place in the world

From my Mermay story

Sweet zombie Kaylee with the azaleas

Poor little fairy Twyla being parasitized by icing sugar fungus

Make sure to keep your vampire gf well hydrated, or she'll come for your jugular.

Frankie says it's time to go. Lala says it's time to snack.

Top 5 dolls as books Note this is not my top 5 favorite books from the year, just the ones where I really liked the doll styled as the cover.

Look I just really like photographing Lala, okay? May your holiday dolliday season be full of light and joy, and may the new year bring you serenity and rest.

[iilelio]

i my order doesnt go through tomorrow where the hell else do people keep buying core refresh cleo? paulmart doesnt have them anymore

[cleosdiary]

The Resort

After a long couple months working in LA I needed a refreshing restart. I’ve been shoving my head in work the past couple month such a great feeling. After all deals were closed I decided to carter a Jet to A island and I had a private villa waiting for me. I got to my apartment packed a quick bag with basics.. hygiene bag Shorts, shirts, and a nice set of clothing to go out in. I wanted to take a sugar baby with me but I decided to go solo i needed a solo getaway to refresh. I got my stuff changed into sweatpants and a black t shirt a nice diamond tennis necklace and a gold presidential rolex some travel basics I needed, I called my driver and head down. On the way down I saw a beautiful Latin girl who just got back from yoga with nice legs and beautiful ass with eyes to die for. I didn’t say anything I just enjoyed her presence that refreshing energy of a woman is unbeatable. I got into my blacked out Rolls and my driver hit it to the executive airport, I walked on the plane and knocked out. Love my alone time on a flight it is a great place to think and see the clouds. I woke up to the flight attendant rubbing my shoulder

“Wake up Mr. Cleo”

She was blonde with some tattoos and a smile to die for as she walked away I couldn’t stop staring.

“Hey Steph.. here’s the address to my villa if you get board in the hotel”

I got off the flight and there I was in Caribbean heaven I got into a car and made my way to the villa. The villa was surrounded by some restaurants and bars. I thought I’d stop and grab a drink at the bar before the night ends. I walk in and I sit at the bar. I see a a woman walk in and walks up to the other side of the bar. She was Latin with long black hair and a body straight from God himself except for her voluptuous chest which was obvious that she got work done. But I don’t mind he’ll, I’ve paid for a couple surgeries for some ladies. She sat down and ordered a drink. It was late bar had 2 more hours of service. I looked at her and she was sitting on her phone looking sad like she was lonely. So was i yeah all this success is great but at night things get real and honest and sometimes lonely. So I sent her a drink and looked up and smiled. I called her over she sensually fixed her hair a bit and walked over she was thick in the right places and smelled amazing

“Great choice, my mother said not to talk to strangers.”

“I’m Cleo, nice to meet you. We aren’t so much strangers anymore. Have a seat….”

“Kathrine”.

“Kathrine.. nice to meet you”

We gave each other a kiss on the cheek.

She sat down and she was so sensual her energy did not lie and I could feel it. We talked for a bit and she told me that she came to the island as a gift from her husband while he was away on business. Lonely housewife, they are always on the hunt. Her laugh was angelic and sweet she had a great sense of humor he knew rubbed against mine a couple times as the drinks flowed I started to get hard feeling her feminine energy all over my body with one little touch. My lion rage started to intensify, we’re face to face talking about each other’s lives she put her leg on my leg and her freshly pedicure with a foot tattoo with designer Sandals just turned me one unexplainable. My cock was rock hard at this point. Her foot rubbed gently against it while she laughed I knew she felt that tonight could end up great. We got a small meal just to hold us we were 4 drinks in each. Last call came around and we order one more round she had tequila and I had my old fashion. She went to the restroom to “powder her nose” I don’t judge anyone for what and why they do something we all have a vice. I sat there as Kat was in the restroom and my flight attendant texts me..

“Hey it’s pretty boring here lol”

“Meet me at sunset red for breakfast tomorrow and we will go to out with some friends”

“I didn’t pack a bathing suit”

“After breakfast I’ll buy you one before we head out”

She responded and I didn’t respond back. My focus was on Kat for the night.

Kat and I walked to this club that had great music we danced a bit she was a great dancer we grind and felt each other all night and we made out a kiss that never felt so great and real.

“Let’s go to my place”

“Let’s go”

I called my driver and we made our way back to my villa. Her legs felt amazing as my handed rubbed on her skin we made out in the back of the car and she was gently caressing my cock inside my pants before we know it we arrive to the villa.

I made Kat and I one more drink we walked outside and she just ravished me. Was it for being a gentleman to her? She took off my shirt and started kissing my body while the moon outside was shinning on the pool and ocean water. She sat me down and began to go down on my nice and slow just the way I like it, she knew exactly what I needed after all these months of non stop work. I kissed her tasting my sweet self.

“Let’s go inside it’s windy out here”

I said

We got up and I held her hand and guided her to my room with my pants off, I took my shirt off so I was completely naked just chain and watch on. I guided her in the nude to the master bedroom. We devoured each other again and I undressed her and got her completely naked.

“ let’s go shower”

She said.

I ran the warm water and the shower had a view of the beach with the moon coming through the window of the shower. We were in the dark but the moon gave us enough light I felt her washing me and I washed her my cock was hard and vainy I couldn’t help it. She ran her hands on the my cock stroking it nice and slow we got out and dried up and into a dimly lit room. We walked into the bedroom, we filed each other all night like wild animals under the moon the clapping of each other’s skin was a beautiful music and her screams while she came were well deserved while we were missionary doggie. I pulled out and walked over to the couch outside on the balcony. She followed me I sat down and she began to perform fellatio on me.

“Cum on me”

I couldn’t help it, after a couple more sucks and licks she made me cum. I came all over her face and breast”

“Hmmmmm so good baby”

I got up rolled a joint and smoked it out on the balcony while she went to get a warm rag. She cleaned me up and she laid next to me naked and we smoked together just talking into the moonlight. She fell asleep on my chest.

Next morning woke up morning and hit the gym hit the sauna to detox, showered and changed for the day. Kat was awake on the balcony smoking the rest of the joint from last night. She hugged and kissed me when I walked up to her to hit the joint.

“I have to go back to my room”

I responded

“No your going to spend the rest of this trip with me”

“ I need my luggage”

“Fuck it stay here put your dress on and we will go shopping after breakfast”

For some reason she got turned on she began to rub my hard on. She walked to the shower in a robe and showered.

I unpacked my vintage camera that I take on all my trips for memories. As I took it out Kat walked out

“What is this”

“My camera that I take in all my trips”

“Can I film for you”

“Yea, why not”

“Don’t worry I went to film school, film is my passion”

I knew it was in great hands. Kat just kept surprising me and had so many layers.

She got dressed and we headed out. We met Stephanie my Flight attendant from my jet at the restaurant. Kat and Steph instantly clicked. We ordered a bottle of champagne and juice and had endless mimosas to get the party started.

We finished breakfast and headed to the shopping area I spent 2k on each of the girls with new outfits for the rest of the trip. Kat and Stephanie had no reason to go back their rooms. We went back to the room to change and headed off to the beach.

[javajunkieao3]

Beth/Benny Fic:  Being Alive - The Parent Years

The one where Beth and Benny’s five-year-old daughter challenges Vasily Borgov to a Candyland game.

AKA, the one I had way too much fun writing.  Set in the “Being Alive” universe.

           Beth sits at a familiar board, resting her chin on her folded hands as she studies the squares laid out before her.  She can see the path to victory clearly, but there is too much uncertainty on the board for her to know exactly how it will turn out.  As it stands, Beth’s opponent is ahead and it is her opponent’s turn, which gives her another chance to achieve an even farther lead.  Her opponent reaches forward and draws a card. It’s red.  Beth frowns, watching her daughter push the gingerbread man four spaces up.

           “Your turn,” her daughter says crisply, taking a sip of her apple juice.  Chess tournaments didn’t allow beverages other than water, but for a Candyland tournament, Alma considers the apple juice indispensable.

           Beth reaches forward and takes a card.  It’s a measly yellow, which only takes her one square forward.

           Benny walks into the kitchen and takes a look at the board.  “I see this game is going about as well as usual.”

           “How do I keep losing?”  Beth says unhappily.

           Alma draws another card that takes her directly to Gumdrop Mountain.  At this rate, she’ll reach Candy Castle in another three moves.  Maybe two. Alma grins up at her mother.

           “No gloating,” Beth says lightly.  Looking over at Benny, she remarks, “She gets that from you.”

           “I don’t gloat.  I simply enjoy my wins.”

           “Oh, is that what you’re calling it now?”

           Beth draws another card, swearing under her breath when she finds herself pulled into a Molasses Swamp.  She really hated this game.

           Benny crouches next to his daughter and says, “Your mother is very bad at this game.”

           “Daddy, you’re distracting me,” Alma says with exasperation.

           “I’m sorry, kid.”  Benny says. He straightens up, and when he passes Beth he says, “That she definitely got from you.”

           Three turns later, Alma arrives at Candy Castle and stretches her hand across the board, just as her parents taught her.

           “Good game, Mommy.”

           Beth smiles, once again struck by the fact that she had made someone so absolutely perfect.  She shakes her daughter’s hand and then calls out, “Carol, you’re up.”

           Mrs. Watts comes into the kitchen and says, “Another win?  Good for you, Alma dear.”

           Beth plants her hands on the table and stands.  “I think she’s going to sweep the tournament again.”

           Mrs. Watts takes her seat.  “Well, we’ll see about that.”

           Beth ruffles Alma’s hair before she goes to find Benny, leaving Mrs. Watts to play the reigning Candyland champion.  Benny is seated on the couch reading a magazine.  He looks up at her when he hears her approach, and says, “Another crushing defeat?”

           “I swear she stacks the deck.”

           “Honestly, if she did, I’d be a little proud.”

           Beth laughs, sitting next to him.  She rests her head on his shoulder and he says, “How are you feeling about Paris next week?”

           “I’m as ready as I can be,” Beth says.  

           “Borgov is still supposed to be there, right?”

           Beth nods.  Despite both of them being relatively active after Moscow, it is the first time they are facing off since her win all those years ago.  She feels nervous, but in a less unsteadying manner than before.  The thought of him didn’t frighten her anymore.

           “Do you think Alma will like Paris?” she asks.

           “It’s the country of bread and cheese.  I don’t think she’ll want to leave.”

           “And your mom?”

           “She doesn’t mind staying here.  She says she doesn’t like the French because they wear too much black.”

           “Well, naturally.”

           “Besides, I think a little trip just the three of us would be nice.  We haven’t done that for a few years.”

           They had purposely built in a few extra days in Paris to do some exploring. Beth is particularly excited to take Alma to see the Eiffel Tower.  Cleo brought her back a small figurine of it after her last trip there, and Alma kept it next to her bed, saying goodnight to it each evening before she went to sleep.

           Benny goes back to reading his magazine, holding it so that she can read along, too.  After about twenty minutes, Alma runs into the room and exclaims, “I won again!”

----

           Six days later, the family is in Paris, Alma asleep in her father’s arms as they check into the hotel.  Both Beth and Benny played enough over the years to be recognized, and a few people even ask for autographs.  They make their way up to the room and Benny puts Alma down on the bed, covering her with his coat.

           Beth glances over at their daughter and says, “You should wake her.  Otherwise, she’ll be up at two in the morning.”

           “It’s okay.  I’ll get up with her.  I’m not playing, anyway.”

           Beth nods.  While they kept true to their prior intention of not having children get in the way of tournaments, at a certain point, they did recognize the virtue of having one parent available while the other competed.  And so, after a few years, they tried to only have one of them playing at a tournament, if possible.  Benny played Paris the year prior, so this year, he happily took on the parenting duties.

           They order room service and after a quiet dinner, Beth tries to get some sleep, feeling her usual pre-tournament jitters.  It takes her a while to fall asleep, but when she does she sleeps soundly, and she wakes up feeling refreshed and ready for the day.  Alma is already up and she notices Benny put her in a dress that mimics the one she had chosen for the day.  She laid her dress out the night before and she wonders if Benny had purposely matched them, grinning at the thought.  

-----

           When they go down to where the tournament is being held, the first person that Beth sees is Borgov.  He is standing across the room with his wife, his demeanor its usual reserved and collected. He feels her gaze and looks over, offering her a small wave that she returns.  Benny walks over and lays a hand on her arm.

           “Are you ready?”

           She nods.  “Yes.”

           “I saw you have Ballister up first,” Benny says.  “He’ll be a good warmup.”

           Beth smiles slightly.  “I heard he got better after Mexico City.”

           “I saw him running pawn formations.  You don’t have to worry.”

           “Good to know.”

           Benny looks over her shoulder.  “Borgov’s here.”

           “Yeah, I saw him.”

           Benny senses her hesitation and says, “Don’t worry.  You’re going to beat him.  You’ll beat all of them.”

-----

           The day flies by with one game after another.  Some are challenging, others less so, but by the end, Beth is relieved to head toward her family and get some rest before starting up again the next day. Benny is over by the restaurant, Alma with a piece of baguette in her hand.

           “Where did she even get that?” Beth asks.

           Alma doesn’t answer, her mouth currently full of bread.

           “She just outright asked one of the waiters.  They were so flustered, they just gave it to her.”

           Someone clears their throat behind Beth and she looks over her shoulder, surprised to see Borgov and his wife.  She immediately greets them, shaking his wife’s hand who he introduces as Katarina.

           “It’s very nice to meet you,” Beth says.

           “And you.  I have heard so much about you.”

           Alma steps to her mother’s side, baguette still clutched in her hand, and says, “Hello.  I’m Alma.”

           Borgov smiles warmly down at her.  “Hello Alma.  Tell me, how old are you?”            “I’m five,” Alma says.

           “You are?”  Katarina says pleasantly, crouching down to be at the young girl’s height.  “You look so grown up for five.”

           Alma nods and says, “But I am five.  And a Candyland champion.”

           Borgov chuckles.  “Is that so?”

           “We hold tournaments in our kitchen,” Beth explains with a grin.

           “It’s all very official,” Benny adds.

           Alma looks up at Borgov and asks, “Would you like to play?”

           “Oh, you don’t have to,” Beth says immediately, garnering an accusatory look from her daughter.  But, really, they were at a world chess tournament.  She doubted Borgov had the time or desire to play Candyland against her five-year-old-daughter.  However, much to her surprise, Borgov says, “I would be honored.”

           “Really?” Beth asks curiously.

           Katarina links her arm through her husband’s and says, “How can he say no to a Candyland champion?”

           Before them, Alma beams.

-----

           When Beth packed the Candyland board in their luggage, she never could have imagined that her daughter would be playing against Vasily Borgov.  And yet, here they are, doing exactly that in her hotel room.  Alma has her requisite apple juice, and at the last moment, she insists that Borgov have a glass of water because as she puts it, “You might get thirsty.”

           Borgov tells her this is a very reasonable concern and takes the water.  Alma starts off the game and Beth watches Borgov approach the play with the same sort of intensity that he did with chess.  He draws the cards carefully, moving his gingerbread man deliberately across the squares.  When he is sucked down a cherry hole, the discontent on his face mirrors what she might have seen if someone had captured his Queen.

           Katarina sits down next to Beth and says in a low voice, “It may not look it, but your daughter is really indulging Vasily with this.  He used to play with our son, Sergei, but he’s too old now.”

           “How old is your son again?”

           “Twelve.  He’s just at the age where he wants nothing to do with either of us.”

           The game goes on, and after a particularly serendipitous draw of cards when Alma found herself sidelined in the Molasses Swamp, Borgov picks up his gingerbread man and holds it out to Alma.

           “The game is yours.  Well done.”

           Alma takes the small figurine, smiling wide.

           The next day, Beth beats him, too.

Read the full story HERE!

[ilguna]

Belamour - Chapter Four (f.o)

summary: they say the odds tend to favor those who need them. well, they were wrong.

warnings; swearing, murder plot, and gallows suggests hanging herself 2 separate times

wc; 10k

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

“My skin is sore.” you complain, watching as Leo scowls a bit, clearly not liking how much you’ve suddenly begun to complain. Not a single word came from you during the waxing and scrubbing process at all.

“It’s not that bad.” Cleo tries to reason, and she’s clearly a mind reader too, “The wax earlier was the worst thing you’ll ever have to go through.”

“I think my skin is sensitive, that’s why.”

They seem to consider this for a moment. And without a single word from Beth, she rises from her chair and leaves the first room to go to the bathroom that’s attached. She’s gone for a couple of minutes, and you spend the time gently peeling off dried glue from your body. Wincing when it catches a couple of stray hairs that the team managed to miss somehow.

By the time she comes back, she’s got a yellow bottle in her hands, that you immediately recognize as the lotion that was used on your body earlier. At first, it had stung but the cooling sensation afterwards was worth it. Beth is a quick thinker, you like her.

When you’re sure that there’s no more glue, Leo sits you down in the chair and wipes your face completely free of makeup. When he moves out of the way so you can see yourself in the mirror again, your eyelids are clearly stained a light shade of green. And instead of complaining, you shrug.

Next is pulling off your clothes to trade them out for something more comfortable. And as you’re slipping off the tube top and later the skirt, the exhaustion seems to kick in. Your limbs feel heavy, and every time you lean or bend over, you’re sure you won’t be able to pick yourself back up.

With eyelids half-open, you apply a healthy lather of the lotion before pulling on a pair of knee-length grey sweatpants and tank top. Cleo slides a pair of slippers your way that is so clearly made out of real animal fur, but you can’t bring yourself to be mad at the fact they killed an innocent animal just to use their fur as a pair of shoes.

You wave your prep team goodbye, and don’t wait up on Laurel at all. Dragging your feet through the hallway, Finnick comes out of nowhere, joining your side. He seems to be in the same state as you are. The difference between you and him, is that you got a few hours of sleep in, and he got absolutely none. 

A rough night of basically no sleep, and then an emotionally and physically draining day only hours later had taken its toll on you. On your way to the elevator with Finnick, you find yourself dreaming of flopping onto the Capitol bed, wrapping yourself in the warm comforter and laying your head on that soft pillow. And hopefully falling asleep before your mind can wander.

“I’m going to sleep so good tonight.” Finnick yawns, which triggers you to yawn next. And as he goes to open his mouth a second time, you elbow him to keep a cycle going. He lets out a gentle laugh.

At the elevators stands Elysia, one hand holding them open. You and Finnick don’t bother to pick up the pace, she’s going to stay there whether she likes it or not. She has to take you back to the floor. Almost like an escort.

Finnick sighs, closing his eyes and leaning up against the glass wall of the elevator. He’s got on a white shirt and a pair of deep blue shorts, sandals on his feet. And even with a layer of clothing on, it’s obvious that he’s sweating, and it almost seems to be seeping through his shirt and onto the glass behind him.

Elysia purses her lips, and you can tell that she wants to tell him to stop leaning on it, because it’s ruining the presentation of the small room. But then her face smooths over, and she offers a small smile instead, turning back towards the doors. 

You spare one last look at Finnick, but find the glance lasting longer than you expected it to. It’s clear he’s on the brink of falling asleep upright, lips parted, wet hair sticking to his forehead. Maybe it’s not sweat that's coming from his body, maybe he took a shower instead. It would make more sense as to why his hair is like that. Before you two split to your prep teams, he was as dry as you were.

The elevator makes a noise, and his eyes open again, spinning a little as he tries to get a hold of reality again. He stumbles, trying to catch his footing, and then motions for you to go first. When you go to offer for him to lean up against you, he’s shaking his head and telling you it’s fine.

“You two don’t have to come to dinner.” Elysia tells the two of you, on the couch sits Anchor and Mags, watching a recap of the tribute parade. At your initial entrance, neither of them had paid attention or even bothered to look your way. But now at Elysia’s dismissal, they’re staring, “If you wake up hungry, the room has food service. All you have to do is order anything you want and it’ll appear. But I expect you two will be at the table bright and early tomorrow morning.”

“You’ll wake us if we aren’t?” you ask, not really caring about the food thing. You can go to bed hungry, it won’t be the first time. You’re just worried about sleeping in. Tomorrow is the first day of training, and the second time you get to see your opponents up close.

“Yes.” she says.

“Goodnight.” Finnick says, heading towards the hallway, you wave at Mags and Anchor. Anchor is the only one that raises their hand in return, saying his subtle goodnight.

You follow Finnick up the steps and into the hallway. When you go to bid him goodbye, heading towards your room, his hand catches your elbow.

“Can I stay with you?” he asks before you can say anything.

You stare for a moment, the words not processing slightly. Stay with you? Like in your room? He wants to sleep in your room?

“Like a sleepover?” you ask, watching a smile creep up and onto his face.

“I guess.” he shrugs, “It’s fine if not, I just thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”

That’s not the reason, and you know it. It’s probably the same reason why he didn’t want to fall asleep last night; he’s afraid of being alone with his thoughts. In a whole room by yourself, on the brink of sleep fearing the worst in a couple of days, that’s going to bring on an onslaught of nightmares. 

You’ve had that happen to you a couple of times. Not with the Hunger Games just yet, but you’re sure that it’ll come one of these days. The longer you stay here, the more reality begins to set and seep into your head. Before you know it, you’re going to wake up in the middle of the night, alarmed, alert, and afraid.

And right now, Finnick is trying to prevent that from happening to him.

“Yeah, you can stay with me.” you tell him.

He gives a loopy smile, “I’ll meet you a minute, then.”

You split from Finnick now, watching as he goes into his room. You go into yours, making sure that the doors don’t lock behind you. You pull off the ring, gentle setting it into the bowl on the nightstand. Then, you sit on the edge of the bed, every fiber of you greedily begging for you to just flop over and fall asleep now without the blankets and pillows. Without waiting for Finnick to come in.

He doesn’t leave you waiting for long. He comes in with his comforter around his shoulders, and training behind him on the carpeted ground. A singular white pillow is beneath his arm as he stands in the doorway, unsure of where to go. You motion towards where the window is, since it’s not a bad place to sleep if you don’t mind the city lights at night.

“You can sleep in front of the window, if you want. It’s a good view.” you sigh, throwing the blankets open. Any moment now you’ll be able to sleep, and tomorrow morning you’ll hopefully be refreshed.

Finnick heads over, making a makeshift bed with the blanket and pillow already. He collapses into a sitting position, and stares out the window for a moment. Then, he yawns again and speaks, “You’ve got a better view than I do. You’ve got the lights, and might even be able to see the festival in a couple of days from here.”

“Festival?” you ask.

“Yeah, it happens after the interviews, since it’s the night before the actual games themselves.” he slips beneath his blanket after that, “It’s disgusting really, but what can we do?”

The answer is nothing. So, you say nothing and watch as his breathing automatically slows into even intervals, a clear giveaway that he’s fallen asleep. You stare for a couple of minutes longer, until he eventually turns over and his back is to you. Only then do you slip yourself beneath your blankets and do the same, facing away from him too.

The sleep that you were on the brink of only moments ago, seems to be fading. The late afternoon sunlight freely coming into your room is throwing you off. You’d never be going to sleep at this time. In fact, back home you’d probably still be in school going over math problems or the latest english assignment.

Or you might be heading to Naida’s house after school, fully prepared to get your homework done and thank her for her time. Then, you’d scoop up Alyssum and head home and wait until your brothers would get home. They’d have already spent hours on the water fishing, and they’d come back not even half as exhausted as you are.

You don’t think Reed and Mox missed the tribute parade at all. In fact, they might have skipped the afternoon work entirely because they wanted to see you and how the Capitol citizens would react to you. You wonder if they were disgusted by how much you’d changed. From a feeble little girl to a young woman in just a few hours.

They’d risk getting in trouble just for a glance of you, a quick check up. The next time that they’ll see you is when your score is announced by Caesar Flickerman. You hope you score fairly high on it, because it would be such a relief to Reed knowing that you should have no problem when it comes to getting sponsors.

Mags had briefly explained how training would work this morning. She said that the next three days is training with the other tributes, where the gamemakers would be supervising and taking notes. Everything that you show off or don’t inside of the Training Center will contribute to your score. 

The private training session is really so you can show off anything you didn’t want to show the other tributes. It’s a secret skill, something that you’d want to be a surprise when you go into the arena. Only they are allowed to know what it is, and what happens in that room will stay there forever.

Thinking about it now, you don’t think you’re going to have a skill for that. Everything you know is pretty generic. You suppose that you’ll be learning more things tomorrow, but it won’t be the same. Showing off a skill you've known for years versus something you learned two days ago makes a difference.

You have days to worry about that, maybe you’ll remember something along the way. Tying knots and throwing spears aren’t that impressive. Maybe if you tie a noose and hang yourself from the ceiling, it’ll catch their eye, make a statement. 

Although it’s already no secret that the tributes would rather die on their own terms, rather to the hands of another teenager. There’s been countless attempts in the past, both successful and unsuccessful. It’s the reason why there’s so many safety precautions now. To keep the tribute from dying early on and sending twenty-three in, rather than twenty-four.

To do that would mean to give up your chance to win. It would mean you’re accepting defeat without even seeing the circumstances first. Who knows? You might just end up on an island in the middle of the sea, favoring District Four. Giving your district another head start, on top of all the ones you’ve gathered already.

You’re going to win. You can feel it.

—

In the morning, Elysia kept her promise. You and Finnick hadn’t gotten up on your own, so she came in to do the job for you. It wasn’t all that bad, last night you had expected her to throw water or something onto you this morning. Really, she just knocked on the wall until one of you awoke.

It was you first. And it wasn’t even to her knocking, it was because the whoosh of the doors opening automatically. Once she made sure that you wouldn’t be going back to bed, she left.

And you still haven’t moved from the bed, even minutes later. Finnick is still asleep next to the window, blanket tucked beneath his chin. You’re going to feel awful here in a second when you have to get him up. But it’s not like you have much of a choice.

You’re sure that he’d rather you wake him up, than Elysia. So, you run a hand through your hair in a feeble attempt to tame it, and then you wander your way over to him. Standing over him is definitely creepy.

You nudge Finnick with your foot, hoping that’ll be enough. But he doesn’t even stir, so you go ahead and do it again. This time, his hand flies out from beneath the blanket and he wraps his fingers around your ankle. For a second, you think that’s it, and then he yanks and pulls you down.

He’s a lot stronger than you give him credit for. The floor disappears from beneath your feet, and you have no chance of catching yourself on the way down. Your hands smear down the window, leaving nice hand marks in your wake.

You land right on top of Finnick, who’s now giddily laughing at his joke. You roll your eyes, getting off of him and sitting back. He sits up, face red and tears gathering in his eyes. You try not to laugh, but the longer he continues, you let out a small chuckle and shove his shoulder with your foot. 

“Very funny. How long have you been awake?” 

He smiles, wiping beneath his eyes, “Since Elysia came in. I was just waiting for you to come over.”

“I was trying to be nice. I should’ve just hit you with the pillow.” You get up, stretching and heading over to the walk-in closet.

Before Elysia left, she told you that the training uniforms should already be in here. You have different options, all different variations of yellow and black. Looks like they’ve got a theme going on at the moment.

The first top is like a regular shirt, just a little modified. The collar is black and comes up to the base of your neck. The rest of the shirt is mustard yellow, and there’s a zipper on the front that leads from the bottom all the way up to the top, exactly like a jacket. It’s a cute top, you pick that one over the long-sleeved and tank top.

And the bottoms aren’t that exciting, plain black shorts or leggings that end at your calves. You pick the latter, and then scoop up the tennis shoes and the underwear too. When you come out, Finnick’s got his things gathered in his arms.

“Thanks for letting me stay in here.” He smiles.

“How was your first ever sleepover?”

“Pretty boring.” He laughs, heading out, “Hopefully the next one will be better?” He proposes, and then doesn’t wait for an answer.

If there is a next one. You go ahead and take a shower after that, paying careful attention to your eyelids to make sure that they aren’t green when you step out. After you get dressed, you pull your hair out of your face, letting a few strands stay if they don’t irritate you too much.

You debate on the ring. It would be nice to wear to make sure that it doesn’t leave your sight, ever. But on the other hand, it’s going to get in the way of learning. Maybe it’ll get caught on something, or it’ll make a lot of noise, or your finger will swell and you’ll have a hard time pulling it off later.

Then again, you don’t want it to get swiped and for someone to think that it belonged to yesterday’s costume. You were wearing a lot of water-wave related things yesterday. It wouldn’t be that far off to think it came from there.

You could very well trust it with Mags. She’ll understand. 

Once your shoes are on, you slide the ring on and decide that it won’t hurt to wear during breakfast. When you step out and into the dining room, you’re not that surprised to see that you’re the last person to come out. You utter an apology to Elysia, and take the only available seat next to Finnick.

Almost immediately, food is served to you. It’s almost the same as yesterday, nothing new. You eat it all measuredly, making sure that the rich taste won’t make you feel sick. That’s really the last thing you’d want in the Training Center, to throw up in the middle of doing something.

And as always, it looks like Finnick has got the same worries. This time, he’s not inhaling the food like it’s the last meal he’ll ever eat. You know he must be hungry, especially since the two of you skipped dinner yesterday. You know you are.

Mags doesn’t eat very much, so she’s done long before you and Finnick are. She carefully slips the napkin off of her lap and sets it into the nearest bowl, waving off the avox when they come around to give her more. Then, she turns to you and Finnick.

“Do either of you have tokens?” she asks, Anchor pauses for a moment, and then his head bobbles in approval. 

“Yes.” you say, placing the spoon back into your bowl before pulling off the ring and holding it out for her to see. She takes it from you, turning it over in her hand. 

She doesn’t give it back, and then turns to Finnick, “And you?”

His fingers dance along his arm until they land on his wrist. The same braided, brown rope is there. You vaguely remember seeing it yesterday and being surprised that they’d let him keep it. Up close, you realize that it’s not really a choice. The ends are tied together, and his hand is too big to just slip it off.

It reminds you of those bracelets that are supposed to ward off evil. Caspian’s sister owns one, and he constantly calls her superstitious because of it. He doesn’t think that it works, and every time she reaches over to it when bad things happen, he rolls his eyes. Always telling her to grow up, when she’s already out of high school.

You think it works. She graduated at the top of her class and instead of being stuck with the same old government-provided fishing job, she got hired at the sweet shop. Which of course, is placed next to the bakery, the butchers, the fabric store and finally, the ice cream parlor. All lined up and expensive.

Even though you don’t like Caspian--or maybe you do now, you don’t know--you like his sister. There had been a few times where she had caught sight of you through the window, and rushed out to give you a treat to share with your brothers and sister. You tried for a while to turn it down, but she always insisted and so you stopped struggling and instead thanked her greatly.

She, Calandra, has had good fortune ever since she started to wear the bracelet. Whether or not Caspian has realized that, you have no clue. But you have, and you think that’s why Finnick wears the bracelet. However, his luck hasn’t really been up, as of late.

“It’s just rope.” Finnick says, “I can’t take it off.”

Mags and Anchor share a look. Anchor makes a face, “All they have to do is look at it, and they’ll see that it’s not really an advantage. I’m pretty sure they can see it during the tribute parade, so we don’t have to bring him along.”

Mags nods, and then turns back to you, “Would you mind if I gave this to the gamemakers to look at for a couple of days?”

You shake your head, “I’ll get it back?”

“If it’s not dangerous.” Anchor says, “Or poses any sort of advantage.”

It’s just a silver ring. You’ll get it back.

“Yeah, you can have it.” you lean back in your seat, resuming your bowl of soup.

Mags pockets the ring, and then doesn’t waste time, going on, “Don’t show off any serious skills, save it for the private training session. You don’t want everyone to know what you’re actually good at.”

“What if the careers ask?” you lean in, “Am I just supposed to leave them hanging?”

“No.” Anchor says, and you and Finnick look over to him now, “Save at least something for the gamemakers. Don’t even share it with each other.”

You hope that won’t create issues between you and Finnick. You know Anchor is right, and he knows better than you do. But the thought of holding back even one skill to keep Finnick on edge the entire time is dangerous. You don’t want him to be anticipating something that might not even happen.

“Right.” Finnick says. You can’t tell if he’s upset or not, and you think you like it that way. You don’t need to know.

Mags excuses herself from the table, saying that she’s going to go hand off the ring, and do other things as well. It leaves just you, Elysia and Anchor at the table. Until Elysia says that you guys should meet her at the elevator no later than ten, and leaves the apartment too.

“Districts One and Two are automatically going to head towards the weapons section.” Anchor says, picking at a bagel, “And you’re going to be expected to follow.”

“Should we?” you ask.

“You already talked to them yesterday and proposed the idea of an alliance, right?”

Finnick shakes his head, “Not exactly. She said we’d see them tomorrow and that was it.”

“Did they seem interested?” Anchor asks.

You press your lips together, staring down into the empty bowl. You don’t know at all. They were definitely friendly after the tribute parade. You got Trink and Lennox to loosen up easily, and Eytelle and Allio followed stiffly. To you, it looked like they were uncomfortable with the thought of working with people younger than them.

It’s very well possible that they think you two are still naive and will find a way to fuck up tremendously, costing their lives or something. They’re worried about the wrong thing, though. You and Finnick have already proved that you’re smarter than that. You’ve analyzed them, their body types, their personalities, and you know what kind of people they are.

Maybe Allio and Eytelle didn’t seem enthusiastic, but Trink and Lennox did.

“Two of them.” you answer first, Finnick looks like he’s about to object, “District Two is still iffy. I think if we hang around them today, we’ll find a way to sell it.”

“That leaves two days to work on skills.” Finnick says.

You look at him, and then Anchor, “How does the center work? Is there a schedule?”

“You’ll go in at ten, and a few hours later will have lunch. You’ll have it all together in a room with tables, then you go back to training.”

“How about this,” you look at Finnick, “First half we spend on skills, and then at lunch we’ll sit with One and Two, and after lunch we hang out with them for the rest of the time?”

Anchor is impressed, and Finnick seems to like this idea a lot better, because he agrees to it. First half of the day will be spent learning and remembering skills, and after lunch will be getting to know the other careers better. A good bargain, you feel proud of yourself for that. 

There’s not much to talk about anymore. Both you and Finnick end up dismissing yourselves from the table about thirty minutes before ten. In your room, you fix unapproved stray hairs and brush your teeth. For the last remaining time, you sit on the bed and try not to think of home.

The time comes around where you have to leave the room. Finnick is already waiting out by the door, having a conversation with Anchor. He’s in a new change of clothes, and it looks like his hair is wet again. Before he wasn’t wearing his training outfit, now he is. While you wear yellow, he wears blue. 

When Anchor notices you, he subtly motions, letting Finnick know. With squinted eyes, you watch as they wrap up the conversation, Anchor pats Finnick on the shoulder, and then they split.

Anchor wishes you good luck. On the way out of the apartment to the elevator, you try to ask Finnick what they were talking about, but he attempts to slyly redirect you to talk about the training that’ll be happening in just a few minutes. It’s a red flag immediately, and you find yourself making note of it. 

Some part of your mind tries to cooly remind you that he doesn’t have to tell you anything, but the thought slowly fades. This is the Hunger Games, every person you befriend, every alliance you make will eventually end in distrust and murder. This is no time to be holding secrets.

You don’t push him.

Elysia is at the elevators, holding the door open. Inside, she lets you know that it’ll be a moment before you actually reach the training rooms because it’s underground. You and Finnick share a little eyebrow raise--even though you’re still pretty irritated--and wait in silence. She tells you she won’t be going inside with you and that you’ll officially be on your own, away from her, Mags, Anchor, the stylists and prep teams.

It comes as a relief. Now you won’t have so many people hovering over your shoulder while you try to figure things out.

The walk to the Training Center is short and quiet. This gives you a feeling that Finnick must know that you know something is up. Good, you hope he comes to realize you’re not stupid.

The doors to the room open automatically, revealing a gymnasium three times the size of the Four floor. And the Four floor is already bigger than your house back home. Just with the first look, you’re able to see all the stations and their accompanying trainer. There’s weapons lined up against the walls, obstacle courses in the middle. 

This is a dangerous playground.

A lot of the tributes seem to be here already, all gathered up together. On the way down with Elysia, she let you and Finnick know that the stylists are the ones picking out the outfits for everything. So, Laurel picked a muted mustard yellow color for you, Pleurisy picked a pretty baby blue for Finnick. And as for everyone else, it varies.

Before you two can join the others, you’re stopped at the doors. Just to keep a track of white tributes are from which districts, you’re required to wear a number on your back. You have a feeling that it’s for the gamemakers, who all sit up in a box on the top right. If they know who you are, they can keep track of you and why you deserve the score you’re going to get.

After you two have got District Four pinned to your back, you head on over. Instead of actually standing inside of the circle with everyone else, you stand back. Letting yourself get a good look at everyone, now. This is vital.

Trink and Lennox lean into each other, Lennox slouching to reach her height. When Trink moves away, he cracks a smile. Her eyes go over the almost-complete circle, eyes landing on you and Finnick. She smiles too, waving slightly as a greeting. Because of this, both tributes from District Three look over their shoulders.

The boy is tall, dark haired and pale. His lips are pressed together in a thin line, but the second he realizes you’re looking right back at him, they loosen into a gentle smile. He’s friendly, and the girl next to him looks like she is too. Light brown hair that’s down but out of her face. The smile reaches her eyes, and you remember how she cried on stage. She might be emotional.

You give a smile back, the girl turns back away towards the head trainer, who’s still waiting on the final tributes. However, the boy still stares, and the longer his eyes linger, the more you feel your face becoming hot. He’s older, and he’s definitely cute. When he turns away, you can feel your heart begin to beat loudly in your chest. How embarrassing.

Allio and Eytelle are standing side by side, stiff looking. Maybe that’s just how they are normally, and it was nothing against you. They do look like they take things a little more seriously than Lennox and Trink. The more you stare, the more the word ‘wary’ seems to fit their description.

There’s Finnick and you, of course. District Five seems to be missing completely, Six isn’t talking to each other at all. Seven seems to be friendly with each other, the boy has a bright smile that never seems to go away. Even when he tries, the girl will say something and he’s back to massaging his cheeks.

The girl from Eight nibbles on her nails, the boy is on the other side of the circle, away from her. The girl from Nine, and both Ten tributes are all huddled together. The boy from Nine, you have no clue. It looks like he’s missing too. Both from Eleven look nervous and Twelve is… just a pair of children. Twelve and thirteen, it looks like. They have absolutely no chance here, and they’re by far the youngest.

The doors open, making everyone look over again. In comes Six, you think, as well as the boy from Nine that you vaguely recognize. They get their numbers on the back of their shirts, and stop around the circle just like you two had.

The head trainer introduces herself now, her name is Pasithea and she’ll be overseeing everything formally. She explains the schedule in detail. At every station is an expert, trained in that skill. The experts are not allowed to move from place to place, but you are free to. You can get up and leave at any time to move on to go somewhere else.

Some of the stations focus on survival skills, like identifying berries, starting fires, and knowing which leaves are poisonous and which are safe. Others are combat, with swords, hand-to-hand, and so on. Because tributes can’t fight with each other, if you want to test your combat skills, all you have to do is ask and they’ll send someone to you that’s qualified.

And even though Pasithea already gave examples of the survival stations, she goes down a list, anyway. Good versus bad berries, leaves, and hiding places. How to start fires, snares and knots. You’re welcome to play memory games, and show off whatever you like. As for combat, the list of weapons is long, and you tune out towards the middle.

You don’t know what half the weapons look like, and you’ve never heard the names before. So, what’s the point in trying until you’re free? Finnick looks like he’s bored of it too, and he shares a look with you, eyes going off to the side as he jerks his head in a direction. You look around him, and your eyes land on the fire starting station.

Might as well. You nod, he looks happy that you’ve agreed. When Pasithea releases you all, allowing you to finally get your hands on things, everyone seems to split off somewhere. Your career friends head right towards the nearest combat and weapon stations, already showing off.

District Seven seems to do the same, they both look as old, or even older than the careers. The girl swings a top-heavy axe like it’s nothing, the boy stands back and watches. If you were to make an alliance with them, it would probably be a package deal. Just like you and Finnick.

At the fire starting station, you and Finnick take a seat around a ring of rocks with wood in the middle. The expert kindly asks if you have any clue on where to get started, and Finnick shakes his head. You offer some half-assed answer of flint and stone and sparking a flame. This seems good enough for her, and she starts by showing you that technique.

Back and forth, you and Finnick try various ways to get it done. You’re able to get the fire started way before him, but once he realizes what he was doing wrong, he outshines you. After flint and stone comes the actual devices that might be included in some backpacks in the arena if you run towards the cornucopia.

For years, you’ve watched people run to the middle, and every time you call them stupid. Who is dumb enough to run to the one place where all the careers will be waiting? All those tributes that have died in the bloodbath--which is what the massacre is called--have to have known that their chances of getting anything out of the cornucopia itself is slim to none.

If you pick off the things that are scattered outside of it, you have a lesser chance of dying. But running inside, where the careers will be protecting their precious goods is just like accepting the fact that you’re going to die. And most of the time, it’s going to be gory and nowhere near quick. They like to make a show out of it.

After you and Finnick seem to have got it down, you and him bid the expert goodbye and move on. Deciding that you’d like to work on something you two actually know a lot about and is fairly useless, you settle on the knot tying station, which is also where the snares are taught.

The expert seems thrilled at your knowledge, watching you list off which types of ropes are used for what. And then you settle down on the floor, tying and retying all the knots you can remember that Reed taught you. You know the names to most still, but there’s some that slip your mind. Despite the name being gone, you still know how to move your hands.

Finnick leans over your shoulder, watching you tie a knot that’ll be nearly impossible to escape once tightened, “Who taught you all of these?”

“My oldest brother, Reed.” you hold it up for the expert to see. She’s got a smile on her face, nodding, “I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve sat on a boat while he and Mox fished, watching me do these.”

He asks you to teach him a few that you feel are important, and you almost feel bad for the expert. They’re no longer the teacher, because you lean over and have Finnick do a series of them until he’s sure that he’s got it down. 

You want to try your hand with the weapons, but Finnick is still pulling you along to the survival places. You follow anyway, thinking to yourself that you’ll be able to try them after lunch. You and him made a deal, and so when it’s your turn, you’ll be able to do what you want. 

By the time lunch rolls around, you’re starving and dehydrated. Inside of the lunch area, they have a buffet-style meal. All the tributes are welcome to help themselves and go back for more whenever they please. You and Finnick help yourselves to foods that you know will be filling but not too rich. After that, plenty of water bottles.

Before you and Finnick can even get the chance to start a career table, you’re being waved down by the boy from Three. The girl has got her head raised, eyes on the two of you. She says something to him, and once he scowls, she looks down and away.

“Where do you want to sit?” you ask Finnick.

“I thought we were going for Districts One and Two?”

“I’ll let you have today if you let me have tomorrow.” you say, “Anywhere you want.”

Unsurprisingly, Finnick heads right towards the table with District Three. It’s a sacrifice, and you’re hoping that it’s not a bad one. You ignore the stares you get from the alliance you’re really after, and settle down at the table.

“Hi.” you greet, “I’m (Y/n).”

“Blaire.” the boy says, sitting up taller, “This is Verda.”

“Finnick.”

The conversation starts off slow, until Verda eventually enters and carries most of it by herself. She asks questions, expands on anything that you and Finnick ask. You were right about them being friendly. Not once is there a tense moment between any of you, and at the end of lunch, you four decide to stick together.

Blaire mainly sticks by your side. He’s funny, and his laugh is a little loud but you’re not embarrassed by it. In fact, the more he laughs, the more you find yourself reconsidering the alliance with the other careers. 

You and Finnick are only fourteen and fifteen. The others are between sixteen and eighteen, they could easily overpower you with all those years of training. One bad move with them, and there’s a chance they’ll kill you on the spot. There’s safety in numbers, of course. But why bother to keep around a couple of teens that are dragging them down?

With Blaire and Verda, they’re older, but you don’t find them that threatening. If they came up to you back home, you’d make friends out of the both of them, no questions ask. Which might be a downfall, and could really get you killed. You can’t be friendly with everyone in here, but Blaire and Verda seem to be different.

Soon, you’re all moving onto weapons--finally!--per Blaire’s request. While learning how to handle a knife properly, Finnick sits on the only open spot next to you, and leans over.

“Still want to be allies with the careers?” 

You wonder if he’s noticed how close you’ve grown to Blaire in the last couple of hours, or how you refuse to even look at the careers. However, he should know that you gave him today. Just because you act one way today, doesn’t mean you won’t act a different way tomorrow.

You’ll change with the seasons if you have to. If it means that you’ll stay alive longer, you’ll play games with people. Keep Finnick close, let him think that you’ll agree with him, and then you’ll play with the careers. Slowly but surely dragging him back to the idea. Because now, he’s made it no secret that he doesn’t want to be allies with them.

You look at Finnick, and he’s got the same face he had on when you asked him what he was talking about with Anchor. It clicks now. He doesn’t want to be friends or allies with the careers, and he was expressing that to Anchor. And now he’s trying to nudge you in the right direction without giving anything away.

It’s too late. You force a smile, looking back down to the blade. It’ll only be a matter of time before you’re using a similar weapon against someone. You wonder who will be first, your traitorous friend Finnick on the request of the careers, or the careers on the request of Finnick.

You will go back home. And you’ll do whatever it takes.

So, for now you let out a laugh, nose crinkling and catching the eyes of Blaire, not so much Verda. Finnick’s looking over your face, a smile slowly creeping on. That’s right, “A little.”

If you do switch sides, you wonder if it’ll be for Finnick, someone who you’ve known for years but won’t open up to you. Or the boy across from you, with sea blue eyes that make tears well in your own, because they remind you of home. Or maybe the girl that seems to have a heart of gold, and a smile that can lighten the mood.

You all move together one last time before the day is over, to the berry station where the girl from Eleven is hunched over, easily identifying the edible ones. She passes with a perfect score, and flashes the expert a smile. When she realizes that you guys have joined her, the smile fades and she’s quiet as she moves onto identifying leaves and bark.

And Finnick being Finnick, manages to get her to open up. Her name is Thyme, her district mate’s name is Horace--and he’s halfway across the room--and she’s got no one at the moment. It isn’t until they’re all deep into a conversation about their lives when you realize what’s going on. What Finnick’s doing.

The more you seem to learn about these people, the less you picture yourself killing them. You know you wouldn’t be able to kill Finnick even on a good day, not with how his mom knows you and so does the rest of his family. Blaire’s got a brother, Verda has two sisters and Thyme is an only child with no one but her old parents.

All of this settles uneasily in you. There’s always an ulterior motive with people.

Before you can change your mind, you abruptly push yourself up from where you sit, causing Finnick to falter on a few words, slowly dragging them out. He must think you’re stretching or something, because he goes back to what he was saying. But you turn away from all of them, smoothly escaping the rocky station and crossing the gymnasium.

Being friends with everyone is going to get you killed. He’s still young, he doesn’t understand that. He hasn’t had these thoughts drilled into his head since he turned twelve, there’s no way for him to know that. Even after you tried to push him in the right direction, he went right back to what he was thinking before.

But it’s weird, because he agreed to being allies with the careers on the train, so what changed? Was it that conversation with them after the parade yesterday? Because they didn’t even say anything that sent a red flag off in your mind. You would have noted it like you always do, how vicious they are.

They haven’t even shown that side of them yet. Them going to the weapons could be an intimidation factor, but they haven’t shown viciousness just yet.

Trink looks around Lennox at your approach, and even goes as far as to move him out of the way, clearing a space right between him and Eytelle. In front of them is Allio, who’s making the best out of fighting an assistant. He’s incredibly good, and there’s only one time that the assistant touches him.

“Where’s Finnick?” Lennox asks.

“Making his friends.” you offer a smile, “You guys want to show me how it’s done?”

Eytelle lets out a laugh, “Show us what you can do first.”

Your eyes go over the different stations and how they’re organized. Swords are placed with knives. Spears are placed with tridents. Maces are placed with other top-heavy items like axes. You move straight over to the spears, and listen as they loosely follow.

The second that your fingers wrap around the expensive metal of a spear, you remember Anchor telling you not to show off any important skills. Save it for the private session in two days. You look over your shoulder, straight to the gamemakers to see that a couple have got their eyes on you.

You’ve spent the entire day going around and honing skills, and spent lunch with people you didn’t think you’d find yourself next to. Now, you’ve abandoned them and your district mate, heading straight to the careers. There’s a split second where you think that they shouldn’t be surprised, because you were around these guys yesterday, and then you remember that they hadn’t seen that.

The gamemakers are surprised because they thought this year would be an anomaly. The last third of the careers would be off and away, playing with districts they’ve never really dared to go before. Not with the comfort of knowing that the careers will take them in no matter what. Districts One, Two and Four tend to be the powerhouses, why bother to break a streak?

Looking a little further, it seems Finnick and the rest of them are watching you too. 

You grip the metal tighter, turning back to the target circle right in front of you. It would be easy to do this. District Four is almost expected to know how to do this already. You just need to find a second skill, a much more special one that will wow the gamemakers. For now, you can throw this one away.

You draw your arm back, eyes on the one farest from you. Your face twists when you tense, throwing it with all the right power, and watching as the tip of the spear guides it nicely through the air, and straight to the red dot in the middle of the target. 

“It’s a little off center.” you laugh, because it is. It’s too far to the right, but it’s on the red nonetheless. You turn towards the others, they’ve got smiles on their faces, sharing looks that let you know you did good. Still not vicious, they’re planning something, “Think you can do better?”

“You win on this one.” Trink says, “As for everything else…”

The rest of the training day is spent next to the weapons. You don’t see Finnick again until you’re leaving, and even then neither of you talk. It’s obvious to Mags, Anchor and Elysia that something has happened because the happy air between the two of you is gone. You’re not asked why, but Finnick is when you leave the table to call it a night.

The second day isn’t anywhere near a rinse and repeat of yesterday. At the beginning, Blaire decides that he wants to stay next to you, and it’s kinda hard to shake him when you want to go to the careers. However, going around the gym is a lot less painful with him, because there isn’t a history. After lunch, you’re right back to the careers.

Instead of making fun of you, they teach you the same dangerous skills that they know. You breathe in all in, taking in as much information as you can. You only have tomorrow morning left, after that is the session, the interview, and then the games. Just the thought of them alone gets your heart beating in your chest.

A little bit into the knife-throwing lesson that the expert is giving to you, you learn that it’s easy. When you finally get a shot to throw, just to test the waters, you throw the best you can at the nearest target. When it lands in the middle, you claim beginners luck but know that will be your skill for the gamemakers. After that, you repeatedly fail with throwing and tell the others that you’ll stick to throwing spears.

Just like that, you’ve got what you need to know. 

You all mess around on the obstacle course for a while. Climbing ropes and rock walls. You find yourself scaling the rock wall easily. The expert suggests using just the cracks, which are there to provide an extra challenge to those who are good regularly. You slip a few times at the beginning, not knowing how heavy or slippery your fingers are.

But soon, you’re grasping it, and you reach the top of the wall three times in the time it takes Allio to scale the wall once just using the rocks. Impressed, he gives you a high-five and you get praise from the others as well. You’re a lot more prepared than you gave yourself credit for.

Finnick comes over to the station next to yours with Thyme only once. The two of them take a lesson on sword fighting, which Thyme is pretty bad at, but Finnick isn’t too shabby. You take note of this, and pretend like you never watched them in the first place.

Your friends leave early, claiming to be sore from all the climbing. They want to be in their best shape when it comes to tomorrow. You bid them goodbye, and even consider going back early too. You decide against it last minute, thinking that it’ll be a perfect time to work on hand to hand. What they don’t know won’t hurt them.

Blaire comes up to you, leaning against the pillar as he watches you flip the assistant over your head and onto their back. You struggled with their weight for a moment, rusty on doing it. But you managed to get it over with.

“Where’d you learn that one?” he asks.

“My brothers.” you help the assistant up, “Back before my parents died, we wrestled all the time.” it’s right back to fighting. When you’re pouring sweat and feel the tiredness growing behind your eyes, you stop and get water, still talking to Blaire, “They’re like four and five years older than me, too.”

Blaire laughs, “I did the same with my brother all the time. Until the day I accidentally broke his wrist.”

“Older or younger?”

“He’s older.” Blaire’s got a proud smile on his face, “He couldn’t even be mad at me.”

When you get back to the apartment, you see that Laurel is standing around with Pleurisy and Mags. Finnick had left long before you did, and with the looks that everyone gives you, you can see that they’re upset. Not asking any questions, you tell them you’re skipping dinner and don’t leave your room for the rest of the night.

In the middle of the night, you wake from a nightmare in sweat-soaked bed sheets, clutching your throat as you struggle to breathe. There’s tears gathering in your eyes, and you force yourself to get up from bed and take the hottest shower you’ve ever taken. When you leave the shower, your skin is painfully hot and sensitive to the touch.

You curl up in front of the window, knees pulled to your chest as you try not to cry too loudly. It’s late, and the last thing you’d want is to wake someone up and have to explain why you’re so upset. And despite your best attempts, the door opens anyway, and Finnick comes in without a word. He sits next to you on the floor until sunrise, by then you’ve calmed down and your cheeks feel dry. 

When the streets come back alive, he leaves again. You don’t thank him at the breakfast table, you don’t even look at him.

Back at the Training Center, you spend the last couple of hours going around to all the survival stations that you hadn’t bothered to consider beforehand. The careers follow you and even learn a few things too. Once out of the couple of hours of walking around, you find ‘your’ group and ‘Finnick’s’ group at the same station at the same time.

During lunch you hardly eat anything, the nerves sprouting in your stomach and blossoming in your throat. Trink reassures you that you’ll do great, and you spend the rest of the time gently sipping on your water. Then, the private training starts. Lennox is pulled out first, and you all wish him good luck.

After Lennox is Trink, and neither of them return after they’re gone. You watch Allio and then Eytelle go. You’re sitting alone at the table for a while, watching the avoxes clean the table, but leave your water. You think you’re going to spend the time alone, wallowing in nerves when the others come around, Thyme following too.

“I’m going to get a perfect twelve.” Blaire says, Verda lets out a laugh.

“Right.”

“You’d have to do something amazing for that. What have you got under your sleeve?” Finnick asks.

Blaire looks to you, eyebrows raised and motions to the others, “They didn’t see my wicked hand-to-hand skills.”

“Neither did I.” you say, which gets the whole table laughing and a lot of stares because of it.

Soon, Blaire is being called. You all wish him good luck, and you find that it’s the same process as before, watching the people around you get picked off. Verda leaves the table graciously, winking at the three of you before she leaves into the next room. And then Finnick is getting called.

For the first time in a day and a half, you look at him, grabbing his arm before he goes. Finnick turns, green eyes on yours, face set serious. It’s like your own little personal bubble, filled with so much tension that it’s almost funny.

“Score high, for everyone back home.”

Finnick nods, “You too.”

You let him go, and watch as he leaves the room. Thyme doesn’t say anything to you, and you’re glad for it. She’s their friend, not yours. And you don’t even want to bother trying at this point. You’re tired, you have today and then tomorrow, and then you’re going to be fighting everyday to stay alive.

“Boy trouble?” you hear a voice call from across the room. When you look over, the District Seven girl is sitting on top of the table, feet on the chair. It’s so incredibly rude to do that, but you’ve only got so much time left to be kids.

You think her name is Cass, you’ve heard the boy say it a few times in passing. Cass and Mac, tributes of District Seven.

“Not really.” you lean your head up and against your hand, “It looks like that, doesn’t it?”

“Kinda.” A boy says, he’s from Six. He’s stuck next to Mac since the beginning, and you think you saw them having a few private moments. Amos, you think. You can never be sure at this point.

“I wish I had boy troubles.” Elodia, Five, says, she smiles at the ceiling, “All the boys at home used to drool over me.”

“Right.” the boy from her district says, “You were a loser.”

She shoots him a glare, “Watch it.”

“Watch it.” he mocks, and she pushes herself up from where she sits. He’s pretty far away, a whole two tables away. They’ve been apart for the most part since the first day. 

Pasithea doesn’t want a fight, so she advises you all to keep quiet for the rest of the time. It’s not really bothersome to you. You finish your water, use the bathroom and still have a minute or two to spare before you’re called into your session. You pop every possible bone in your body so you aren’t stiff, and head right into it.

With shoulders squared, you walk into the room. You’re informed that you have fifteen minutes to show any skill of your choosing, and then you’re allowed to start. Without a moment of hesitation, you wander your way over to the throwing knives. And as you start, you can hear a few laughs. 

You hope they underestimate you. It’ll just make this so much better.

Looking over the knives they have laid out, you take your time balancing them between your fingers and feeling the engraved handles. You try to find one that’s not so distracting, that’ll fit just right into your palm when you throw it. Again and again, you pick them up and narrow them down.

When you finally find the set you’re looking for, you turn towards the dummy that’s hanging from the ceiling. A morbid sight, really. And you repress laughter, because that was your original thought on a special skill. It’s almost a sign.

You take a deep breath, stretch your shoulder. You know that no matter what, they have to watch you. Knowing that they’re staring at you isn’t going to mess up, it’s the fact that you know you have to perform well. It’s exactly what Finnick said a few days ago.

Finally, you draw your arm back without notice and throw the knife as hard as you can, exactly what you had done with the spear yesterday. It flips once, and then twice. You’re sure that’s going to fuck it up, until they seem to slow down, bigger intervals before it flips again.

The knife hits the heart of the dummy with a dull thud. You throw a second knife, watching as that one lands in the stomach, and then another in the knee. You use up all but one knife, saving the last one for the spear throw target. The dummy is incredibly impressive, since you had only missed twice out of the nine that you threw. One was too far above the shoulder, and one was right between the legs.

The spear is going to be much farther, a larger distance to cover. If you thought throwing before was hard, this one nearly looks impossible. You stretch your shoulder again, take a deep breath, and then throw. It crosses the distance easily in an arc, landing right on the red middle.

Once the gamemakers are sure you’re done, they dismiss you. And you think you saw a few impressed expressions, which eases your anxious thoughts, and allows you to move onto the next worry.

Tomorrow, the interview.

[simplecatgirl]

 (Note: I know Fate: the Winx Saga had only a teaser trailer, despite it blatant whitewashing of the cast, it seems unfair to shit on it. However, Netflix had proven themselves to be awful at adaptations of more varied or light-hearted stories in attempt to chase the popularity that GOT and Riverdale had succeed. So, it is fair for people to be pissed at Netflix’s latest attempt to chase a false trend).  

I want to take the time to talk about something that resonate with me in the series and I prayed doesn’t happen in the show: Sky and Bloom’s relationship along with Brenden(?) and Stella. I mentioning these two as they are seen in the trailer for the moment. (I think Brenden is the brown guy throwing around a knife while walking. I also think he is the guy fighting another guy). This a lot more personal as I’m not the most prepared of talking about the whitewashing, or I’m good at explaining the weird idea of darking the show. 

I don’t want Sky and Bloom’s relationship ending up like Archie and Veronica’s relationship in Riverdale. I’m going laid that out quick. Archie and Veronica’s relationship always put me cause how sexualize it always felt or overly dramatic. Every clip, reviews, and episode I seen with Archie and Veronica made me uncomfortable. (Didn’t help for a good bit, they supposed to be my age, which is yikes forever). It felt more like a soft-core porn than a relationship at times, which is fine itself if they weren’t teenagers. Anyone can argue that teenagers do have this kind of relationship, and I will agree with you. I had been friends or met teenagers that had this kind of relationship, but the way Riverdale put it in your face is grosser than it suppose to be. 

I don’t know how the relationship between Archie and Veronica actually played out in the comics, but I know what sky and Bloom’s relationship was to me. Winx Club, Kim possible, and varies other shows made me fall in love with establish relationships or relationships that get establish in series and stays together for rest of the time. I eat that shit up every time. I think slow burns are really great but I can’t stand much of them for long. The pining phase is great but I get bored of it really quickly. Give me the two girlfriends that babysit a cyrtid child. Give me the two husbands that run constant get-rich-quick schemes. Give me the ploy couple that run a flying ship. Winx club gave me that itch, which stay for so many years. 

Most of the relationships in Winx club have a speedy pace of getting together, although some don’t stay long due story (Aisha/Layla and Nabu) and others are just tiring to me (Musa and Riven). 

I had always wanted a romantic relationship when I was young. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much of example of what a healthy relationship looks like snice my parents’ relationships grew more and more unhealthily. Then Bloom met Sky...I think that was my first realization that my parents’ relationship doesn’t have to be mines. 

One word I would described Sky and Bloom together: loving. The series establish quickly that Bloom likes Sky and Sky likes Bloom; there wasn’t a wait where they constantly stringing you along on whatever they actually like each other than pining. No, they said, “They attracted to each other, let’s go.” It just felt much more refreshing to me. As they got more comfortable together, you get so much sense of respect and love between sky and bloom. Sky knows that Bloom is quite powerful, though he sometimes fumbled his bag with this. Bloom knows that Sky is a pretty damn good specialist. They never quite a time where they undermined each other on their albites. Sky drinks that respect women juice like a sailor with beer. Sky is himbo that adores Bloom, and Bloom adores Sky so much; in fact, varies villains use Sky against her snice they all know how much she cares for sky as much she care for her friends. 

When drama happens in their relationship, I never roll your eyes at it. I’m so hooked on it cause I have seen their struggle to stay together. I have seen the struggle they face separately and together as a couple. They always grew stronger together and I love that. Simple nuisances are also what made it so great. Sky is a lot more considerate to his duty as a leader and a prince, which can make him bump heads with Bloom, a princess without a kingdom. Sky get jealous, and Bloom does too. Yet, they always come on top, and I love it. 

Now, Stella and Brendon’s relationship is something I never notice the first time until I got more into reading media analysts. Stella and Brendon are similar to the same tone of Cleo and Deuce from Monster High. A lot of teen movies, books, and shows would have a female villain that was either a popular ‘slut’ or popular egoistical/stuck-up girl. This is for our main character to look better and look like a downgrade. The antagonist has a ‘I’m better than every single one of you’ attitude; These stories would demonize these traits in a female character as if you are major ‘bitch’ to be overly confident. Some stories would a more nuisance point of this trait if this trait is use cause damages to other. Most of time, it just use to make you hate a female character in order to left up the main character. 

Now, both Stella and Cleo are very egoistical characters but they are never shame of having that level of confident. In fact, no one ever really hates her for it outside of villains. Cleo was shame for being a bully, but she never change her ‘I’m hotter than hot’ attitude. Her attitude make other really like her, and she uses it to help others. In usual shows, they would be shame for their attitude; in their stories, they just shame for being jerks to random people. That’s it. 

Another thing, these egoistical female characters have a boyfriend. This boyfriend is the main character’s love interest. However, these writer realizes you wouldn’t be on board if this turn out into a cheating story, so they make the female villain basically be controlling. It less the male love interest escaping a abusive relationship and more: ‘Crazy bitch, lol.’ This never happen with Stella and Brenden. 

Like Deuce, when Stella on her ‘I’m amazing’ talk, Brendon never seems annoyed with it or tried of it. Brendon knows that this make Stella, who is amazing. Like Cleo, Stella cares a lot about her man. Like Cleo, her boyfriend’s support mean a lot to her. Like Cleo, Stella does know that Brendon isn’t what people consider her level but she doesn’t care. Both Cleo and Stella live for popularity but they cared more for friends and their boyfriends. Brendon and Deuce never sit in on their attitude unless it going far to hurt someone. 

Stella proud herself on her looks and loved the praise from Brendon and her friends. In episode 3, season 3: Stella gets turned into a fish beast and she started to freak out. Not only was she ripped away from her proud: her beauty, she was sacred on how Brendon would react as she knows he likes her looks. Then Brendon comes in like, “I’m going to love you no matter how you look like, cause you will always be Stella to me.” (This episode is a refence to beauty and the beast, just pointing that out there). Stella loves Brenden and Brenden loves her. 

One thing I would say that if they put the characters in a LGBTQ relationship in the new series, I would be so down for it. Especially snice a lot of the fans had the show help them realizes they were LGBTQ. It wouldn’t fucking justified this shit series pulls.

The original always had a complex concept under everything, it just never force it down your throat. It cares more about your invest in the characters, relationships, and the story. It was colorful and a fun trip. This idea of that complex concepts have to come from dark and edgy shows isn’t true. I don’t think Fate will hit half of what the original show has, but maybe it can be something.

Thank you for listening to my weird rambles and have a good day. 

[takemedancingmaine]

Brunch and Bonding

“Ruby!”

Liam called my name as soon as I opened the cafe door. I didn't even have a second to look around or judge how busy the place was. I was still half out of the building when I looked over and spotted him and Louis and Niall holding down a table for us.

“Hi!” I smiled wide at the sight of them and shrugged off my coat as I made my way over to the table they'd chosen. Louis has placed himself next to Liam, so I sat down next to Niall.

“Cleo is going to be a little late, but Ana and Harry are on their way,” Liam said as he passed me a menu. He had his glasses on again. I think he was starting to do it more now as a style choice rather than just always wearing contacts. They looked nice, despite the teasing Harry had done the first time he’d seen them.

I smiled at him in thanks and then looked from him to Louis, who had this ridiculous smug look pulled onto his face. I wanted to knock it off his face but I restrained myself. Barely.

“Did you have any trouble with the train?” Louis asked with a nod toward a couple at the counter of the cafe who were decked out in Cubs gear and were grabbing their coffees to go.

“The platform was miserable,” I shook my head at the thought of just how packed it was. Platform foot traffic was being controlled by police it was so bad. Hordes of people waiting for the elevator and what looked like a funnel effect of people trying to squeeze down the stairs made the trip up the stairs all the more horrific.

“If I didn’t love the Cubs so much… They’re playing the Red Sox today, and I kind of wanted to deck one of their fans,” I shrugged

It could be worse. I was getting on the train where everyone else was getting off. The train cars were relatively empty for me. For everyone else in either direction though, the cars were packed worse than they could get during rush hour and that probably explained why Cleo, Ana, and Harry weren’t here yet. Some trains didn’t even bother stopping at some of the stations because they were too full.

I reached across Niall to steal Louis’ orange juice and managed a sip before he yanked the glass from my hand as I was taking a second sip.

I got orange juice up my nose. Immediately, I started coughing and tried to cover my face with my hands as fast as possible.

“Oh, come on, Ruby! You’re in public,” Louis chastised me with a glint of humour in his eyes while Niall worked quickly to hand me his napkin that had been spread across his lap. Liam just giggled, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes popping out, very much used to mine and Louis’ endless banter.

“Thank you,” I said to Niall as I wiped the orange juice off my face and hand. I then swapped his dirty napkin for my clean one.

“No problem,” he said. He smiled and unfolded my clean napkin across his lap as I left his used one bunched on the table beside me.

“I can’t take you two anywhere,” Liam shook his head while using his teacher voice. Louis and I rolled our eyes together at him.

Niall laughed at that. “Two peas from the same pod,” he looked between me and Louis.

I shrugged and Louis raised his glass of orange juice to me in a mock toast before taking a sip. I flipped him the bird.

“So you’re a baseball fan then?” Niall asked me as Louis went back to his menu and Liam started typing on his phone that had chirped a few times throughout the ordeal.

“I’m a Cubs fan, yeah,” I nodded. “I didn’t pay attention to baseball at all until I got to college and went to baseball games, and Cleo’s a massive Cubs fan so I became one by association. Now that I’m here I’m always going. I never can watch it on TV though,” I explained. “I can sit all day and watch it when I’m in a stadium, but I get bored after five minutes if I’m watching on television.”

“It must be great then living that close to the stadium,” he said and took a drink from his mug. I couldn’t tell if it was coffee or tea. Although I had a suspicion he drank tea because of his European roots, he also struck me as someone that would drink multiple cups of coffee a day.

“I love it,” I told him and smiled, thinking about how much I loved Wrigley Field. It was like a second home. More often than not I’d go to games alone. Weeknight games and early in the day weekend games when my friends were busy… I’d just go, get a beer (for a jacked up price, to be fair), and sit and watch and relax. For me, baseball was about the atmosphere. I would breathe it in whenever I could.

“It’s the one sport I don’t understand,” he shook his head now. “I’ve been to a few games, but I just never really got it.”

I had to bite back my gasp. I couldn’t really be the one to say anything because I didn’t care about it for the first eighteen years of my life, but I also cared so much now that it was odd to me that he didn’t.

Louis gave Niall a look over his menu. I saw it because I had glanced at Louis when Niall said he didn’t understand baseball. Louis looked from Niall to me with amusement written all over his features. I quirked an eyebrow but Louis just shook his head. Niall, who’d been looking at his own menu, has missed mine and Louis’ silent exchange.

“Well, the Cubs have made the National League Championship series, and we might be going as a group to one of the games,” I said to Niall now. “So if that happens, you’ll have to pretend to enjoy it for a few hours.”

“Or I could pretend to be sick,” he smiled and then laughed when I gave him a look of surprise. “I’m totally kidding. Sitting out in the cold with my mates drinking pints is something I’m always up for, even if baseball is involved.”

“Good,” I gave him a look and he smiled at me, his blue eyes flashing with delight before we both turned back to our menus.

“Can I get you something to drink?” The waitress had come up beside me and scared me half to death. With the cafe being full of people I hadn’t heard her approach and suddenly she was speaking to me from less than a foot away.

Quickly I ordered a cup of green tea as my heart rate slowed back down. When the waitress walked away I could see Niall smirking as he looked studiously down at his menu and ignored my gaze.

Just as I was about to call him out for it, Harry sat down beside me with a bright green and yellow Packers jersey on over his sweater.

I just laughed at his audacity as everyone else looked up and noticed his and Ana’s arrival.  

“Before anyone says anything,” Ana said in a tired voice as she sat down next to Liam on the opposite side of the table, “I told him not to wear it.” She poured herself a glass of water and smiled at us all.

“They’re my team!” Harry defended himself as he leaned in and gave me a one armed hug. I hugged him back and fluffed his curly hair a bit before righting myself and handing him my menu. I’d made my choice.

“You’re from Ohio!” Liam groaned. “I cannot believe I have to be seen in public with you while you’re wearing that thing.” He was looked around us in hopes that no one in the cafe was giving us dirty looks for Harry’s attire choice. I doubted anyone here would say anything, but Liam’s cheeks flamed as he surveilled.

“No one in my family likes football,” Harry shrugged. “I just chose a team when I was younger and went with it.”

“We’ve heard all of your excuses before,” Louis waved his hand flippantly. “How was your dancing class?”

Harry’s cheeks turned the brightest shade of pink at the mention of the dancing class that he and Ana were in so that they could get ready for their wedding reception.

Harry was embarrassed, but Ana thought they were a good idea. Not just for their first dance--she knew Harry would be able to manage their first dance fine, it’s a basic step--but for the rest of the reception. Knowing Ana and Harry, they’d pick some absolutely ridiculous songs to play and Harry would undoubtedly show his true colours when they came on.

As a result of a few nights out, we all knew that Harry’s dancing fit into one of two categories. The first was dirty; he could be cheeky and crude despite his angelic looks. The second of which was much funnier: it was dad dancing. This second category included quite a bit of finger pointing and hip shimmying. He could make any night out entertaining for all of us no matter which category he was choosing his dance moves from at the time.  

Ana’s face took on a devious look though and as Harry hid his face in his hands she started to tell a story from their class. Liam and Louis leaned forward in anticipation.

“He was like a baby giraffe,” she laughed and I heard him groan from beside me.

I smirked and listened along with everyone else as the waitress came by and dropped off my tea. We all ordered food quickly--Liam telling us Cleo said not to wait last he had checked the group chat--and Ana went back into the story.

“So we’re alone in this studio waiting for everyone else in the class to show up--because in typical Harry fashion we’d gotten there awkwardly early--and I’m trying to act like everything is fine, but Harry is stood in front of the mirrors just pulling out all these old man dance moves and a group of firefighters all dressed up in their gear walks by the big glass windows in the back of the room and they start cheering him on and I’m mortified! But Harry here kept going. He was enjoying it!”

One glance at the man beside me shows me that he’s not enjoying the retelling, even if he did enjoy it at the time. We’re all in a fit of hysterics when Ana pulls out her phone and shows us some video evidence of the incident. I can feel my sides aching by the time our food arrives and we all settle down enough to eat and talk about the music trivia night Cleo had sent to us last night.

When she finally arrived, she looked radiant as she sat down beside Ana and settled into our conversation. Cleo had put makeup on and was wearing a sweater that I was positive covered up a cute blouse. She was wearing her cleanest pair of loafers and nicest pair of black skinny jeans.

She had a date later.

I raised my eyebrow at her as I took a sip of my newly refreshed tea. She gave me a smirk and a nod in return while she listened to Liam talk about plans for trivia night. It wasn’t for around three weeks, but if anyone knows anything about Liam it’s that he’s a planner.

So I was right. She did have a date after this.

It was when Liam was asking Niall a question about his music knowledge that my ears perked up.

“Basically anything after 1960 is fair game for me,” he answered Liam. “My dad was big on oldies when I was growing up, but me mum made sure to introduce me to anything that was big currently.”

“Niall was also a music minor,” Louis said before stuffing a bit of blueberry muffin into his mouth. He made a face before looking down at the muffin. I just knew he was thinking through the ingredients and trying to pinpoint the tastes he was experiencing. “He’s literally always listening to music or playing it. D’you still have your guitar?”

“I’m not always listening to it,” Niall blushed and hid his face for a moment behind his mug. “And yeah, I still have my guitar. Just use it for messing about though, nothing serious.”

“This is so good,” Louis looked down at the blueberry muffin he still had in his hand. Harry laughed at him.

“It’s literally all he thinks about,” Harry laughed more. Louis flipped him off, but he didn’t look quite so upset, just went back to eating and listening to Liam.

I turned to Niall. “What kind of music did your dad listen to?” I asked.

“Oh,” Niall smiled and ran a hand through his hair. “All sorts,” he said. “We used to go on long drives and he’d always have a cassette tape playing.”

I laughed at that. “I remember my mom’s cassettes all over our car when I was younger, too.”

Niall brightened at that common ground between us. “We’d just go out and it might be five minutes or three hours to visit his family and we’d be singing along to The Eagles and Fleetwood Mac. He loved Bruce Springsteen and Elton John. Billy Joel was big, too. But he had different stuff too, like Warren Zevon and even some boppy 80s stuff like Naked Eyes and all of the really big one hit wonder stuff from that era too.”

“He sounds a lot like my dad,” I told him with a soft smile. “When my dad came to the States he was young, and even though his parents tried to instil as much of their culture in him as they could, he found he could assimilate himself best, learn the language best, by listening to the popular music of the time.”

“Doing chores with my dad like washing the cars and cleaning out the garage meant we’d be listening to the Beatles and the big 70s and 80s rock bands,” I picked up my mug and held it in my hands, warming them. “He wanted us to know that he found himself in America with the help of the music that was popular when he was growing up. So even though he’d rather listen to oldies, he’d sometimes switch the radio to top 40 when we’d be driving to school.”

“Oh sick,” Niall turned a little bit more to face me. “What was your favourite?” he asked.

I thought for a moment, my face scrunching up as I tried to sort through memories and songs. In the span of a few seconds I had flashbacks of doing homework in my room as my dad did the dishes after dinner while listening to The Beatles and of my sister and I getting driven to school with The Who playing in the background or The Eagles playing while he read the newspaper in his office, the sounds floating under the closed door. I kept seeing memory after memory, hearing song after song.

“I don’t think I can choose,” I admitted. “It’s a cop-out, I know, but… When I hear a song from when I was growing up I just fill up with memories from when I first heard it. I mean, every time I hear Video Killed the Radio Star and Crocodile Rock I think of my sister and the two of us dancing in the back seat of the van we had. Each song is a memory. I couldn’t possibly choose.”

Niall doesn’t say anything for a long time. He stayed silent as he watched me, his eyes searching my face for something. He looked excited, but also curious. It gave me time to look him over for the first time during the meal.

His hair wasn’t styled up like it was all of the other times I'd seen him, rather it was kind of flopping into his face and he’d had to keep pushing it aside. He was wearing his glasses as well. These rounded tortoiseshell things that sat perched on his perfectly straight nose--not that I’d studied his profile or anything in the few times we’d been together. He didn’t look tired either, and I’d assumed he would be after moving time zones and going back to work full time. To put it simply, he looked good.

I refused to look at Louis after that thought crossed my mind. I knew he'd be able to read my face and I wasn't giving him the satisfaction of thinking he was right: he wasn't. I could think that Niall looked good. It didn't mean anything.

“How is it that you just described my thoughts on music exactly?” he asked finally. His voice was soft, almost as if he spoke louder it might disturb whatever he was thinking about, and his eyes were wide with what I assumed was amazement.

I shook my head and took a breath.

“I don't know,” I told him truthfully.

“Isn't it crazy how music can do that, though?”

He looks so into the conversation, so passionate about music and our similar experiences with it. My mind kept rolling and rolling over the fact that we'd had completely different upbringings and yet here we were sitting beside each other in a cafe in Chicago discussing how similar we were at the same time.

“I guess what they say is true,” he said now, his voice conveying the amazement. “Music really is a universal language.”

“It must be.”

“What are we doing here?”

Eventually, Cleo had left to go to her date--which she had promised to tell us all about--so the six of us had decided that we’d just wander around the Magnificent Mile shops before heading our separate ways. Liam and Louis wanted to go to TopShop because they think they are hip and cool, and Ana and I were excited because it was right next to a chocolate shop where they were always giving out free samples.

Harry and Niall were hanging back from the group. They'd done a quick walk around the shop with Liam and Louis, neither of them having found anything. They then left them to their shopping and had come to find me and Ana. The two of us had just gotten our free samples and were meandering around the store when Harry and Niall came up behind us.

Ana rolled her eyes at Harry and shrugged.

“We are looking at all the things I would be indulging in if I didn't have to get fitted for a wedding dress in the very near future.”

Harry smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

“You're perfect no matter what,” he said to her and she leaned back into him.

It was adorable to watch as they interacted, but I felt like I was watching something very personal and so I took a step back away from them, continuing to browse as if I would ever buy anything here.

Niall must’ve had the same idea about Ana and Harry and I felt him step up beside me.

He was close enough that I could smell him despite the overwhelming smell of chocolate products, a clean a mix of laundry detergent and whatever cologne he’d put on before he came out for brunch. I tried not to think too much about getting closer and having that scent drag me down.

It should be noted that Niall was currently donning a jean jacket to fight off the chill that had descended once the clouds came out and a wide brim hat, the latter of which explained his hair being much more floppy than usual before. The hat sat right above his ears and just covered his hairline.

It should have looked ridiculous.

It didn’t.

“D’you want my sample?” he asked now as he held up the chocolate to me.

“You don’t want it?” I asked.

“I can’t,” he shook his head, an almost longing look on his face. “I can’t have dairy.”

“You’re lactose intolerant?”

“I think I might be,” he nodded. “Dairy gives me acid reflux, so I stay away from it.”

“Well in that case,” I held my hand out and he placed his chocolate in my hand beside the one I already had. “If I’m helping you out I suppose I can look at it as a good deed.”

He laughed at that. I smiled at his laugh as I slipped both sweets into my coat pocket for later.

“You know one tiny piece of chocolate probably wouldn't kill you,” I said now.

He nodded. “Yeah, I know. But if I start cheating here and there then I'll open myself up to bigger cheats and then I'll be right back where I started.”

“Once you're in you're all in?”

“Oh, it's horrible,” he smiled. “First it's a seemingly harmless chocolate square, then it's some whole milk in my coffee, and then I'll be eating yoghurt and cheese quesadillas and doubled over in pain while desperately chugging down some antacids.”

“Vivid.”

“Thank you,” he gave me a smirk.

“So you drink coffee?”

“Yeah.”

“Not tea?”

“I only started drinking coffee when I was twenty-six,” he said. “I held out with tea for as long as I could but once I started on coffee I couldn't go back.”

“It’s so bitter,” I picked up a candy bar and looked at the nutrition facts on the back. I felt my eyes widen as I looked and then I gently placed the candy bar back down.

“I've gotten used to it,” he shrugged. “I only drink it for the caffeine and since I figured out my lactose thing I've started drinking black coffee.”

“You don't even put sugar in it, do you?”

He shook his head.

“Ew,” I made a face.

He laughed but shrugged off my disgust. “There are worse things.”

“Like getting orange juice up your nose because your friend is an insolent child?” I asked.

He wanted to laugh again, I could tell. He held back though.

“Well to be fair you did steal it,” he said.

I gasped. “You're on his side, then?”

“No no no,” he shook his head. “No, I was just presenting the other side of the argument. Making it a fair representation.”

I narrowed my eyes at him but don't say anything. A giggle did end up escaping him but he quickly moulded his face back to neutral before I turned to look.

I found myself throughout the morning enjoying multiple things about Niall.

The first of which was his laugh. Niall laughed loudly and without any inhibitions. He really didn't care who heard. He would throw his head back and close his eyes and just laugh. I'd never met someone who was so bright.

The second was his voice. I’d been around people from all over, grown up with parents that had accents thicker than curry paste itself, but something about Niall’s voice… his cadence and his timbre were all together working to draw me in.

I could quite literally listen to him talk for ages and not get tired of it. Even if he read me the Encyclopedia. I wouldn't get bored. I didn't think any deeper than that, just kept my liking his voice surface level.

“What I don't get,” Niall said now, “is why you didn't just order your own orange juice when you had the chance.”

I laughed. “I don't drink it. I just did it to get under Louis’ skin.”

“You don't drink orange juice?” Niall gave me a look.

“Growing up my parents never let us have juice; they weren't fans of the sugar in it and I just never buy it now. I don't know, I just never felt the need or the want to buy it.”

“You're weird,” he said finally.

I shoved his shoulder, but I didn't take any offence at his words. I got so much crap from my friends for my eating habits, Cleo especially, that I wasn't bothered.

He gave me a smile as we waited for Harry to get his hot chocolate and then we waited outside for Liam and Louis. They each had shopping bags hanging from their hands when they did eventually come up to us.

“Time do you call this?” Ana made a big show of looking at her watch. Liam and Louis started defending themselves, but we all know that they're massive divas about clothes and fashion and that they definitely did not cut their trip short, even knowing that we were waiting for them.

“Get yourself another jean jacket then?” I asked Louis.

“Oh, come off it, I've only got two,” he glared.

“Oh yeah?” I asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Fine. I've got three.”

“There it is. There's the truth,” I nudged him. He just glared at me some more.

“Well,” Ana sighed. “We’ve got to get home. Someone decided to make dinner last night and the mess has yet to be cleaned up. It's literally overtaking the whole apartment.”

“Yeah,” Liam nodded. “I've got an apartment showing later on that I've got to be ready for.”

“You and your side hustle,” Louis shook his head.

Liam had a real estate license and if he had spare time over the weekend when he wasn't working on lesson plans and grading papers, he would do showings, trying to make a bit of extra money. He invested everything, too. Liam was very big on planning ahead--the most recent example being the planning of our trivia night tactics.

“This is a nice apartment,” he said. “If I get the commission I'm finally going to buy a condo instead of renting.”

“Ayyy,” Harry hollered.

“Congratulations,” I jumped up.

“It's all dependent on if I get this sale, but I'm pretty stoked,” Liam beamed back at us all. “I've been looking at places for a few months now.”

“Good luck to you then, Liam,” Ana reached over and hugged him.

“I'll see you guys later then,” Louis nodded. He gave us each a hug and then gave me a pointed look before looking at Niall. He was very conspicuous about it. If Niall has been paying any attention to either of us, he would've definitely seen it. I flicked his ear and he just shrugged it off before walking off with a self-satisfied smile.

“You going to the train?” I asked Niall.

“I am.”

“Well then let's go,” I nodded toward where the station was a few blocks over.

We said our goodbyes the rest of the group and walked off together.

“So what's the deal with the hat?”

“It's because of the hair,” he reached up and adjusted his hat just a bit. “I didn't do anything with it today, so I just shoved a hat on before leaving my flat.”

“I thought your hair looked fine before.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “It looked floofy.”

“Floofy?” He looked over and raised his eyebrow at me, it just about touched the brim of his hat.

“Floofy.”

“Is that good or bad?” He asked.

“Good,” I nodded. “It looked good.”

“I think it's getting too long,” he shook his head, dodging someone on a bike. Because some people like to pretend they're allowed to ride bikes on the sidewalk. Those people suck.

“I think you're worried over nothing,” I said.

“Probably,” he shrugged. “You don’t think the hat is dumb, though?”

“No,” I said. “I actually keep thinking it really shouldn’t work, but somehow it does.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment as well then.”

“It was one.”

We walked together in silence for a while until we got to the station. It was a comfortable silence. Niall beside me was a welcome presence and I was trying not to think about the fact that I could still smell him with each light breeze that blew past us. That clean smell mixed with whatever his cologne was was doing something to my senses. I ignored it. Or tried to.

“Oh,” I said once we got onto the platform, the wind sharper up here, the clouds seemingly more ominous. “How’s the new job?”

His face lit up. A thrill ran down my spine at the sight of his smile, his whole demeanour brightening.

“I love it,” he said now, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets.

“That’s brilliant!”

“I’m genuinely so happy there,” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to another, swaying a bit. “It’s like… I spent so long working such crappy jobs and I’ve got all this experience and knowledge and now I’ve got a job with people who seem nice enough and I’m back in Chicago. I’m doing the work I like. Everything seems like it’s falling into place and I’m just really happy with my job.”

“What’s your favourite part?”

“We have this break room, right?” He started as the train came rolling up. “It’s got a coffee machine, one of those pod ones, and a kettle for tea or whatever. The room is filled with all these fun colours and comfy chairs and books that just look so worn down and generously read and loved and I really just want to hole up in there with one of the books and a cup of coffee and just read and relax. The fact that I can relax at work, have a space to do that… It feels really good.”

“I’m really glad you’re enjoying it,” I told him. “It must be nice to be back here and have finally gotten a real job.”

“It’s been pretty great,” he nodded.

We sat down beside each other on the packed train car and eyed up the man who was in charge of three young girls sitting across from us. The man looked miserable, and the girls were using the bars a bit like a jungle gym. The man didn’t even bother to corral the girls, just looked on helplessly as they swung back and forth.

I smirked at Niall and he gave me the same look back and bumped his knee against mine.

“Have you got the song queued up?” he asked.

“Oh shirt!” I said pulling my phone out of my pocket quickly and slipping the head buds out, handing one to Niall and taking one for myself.

“Nice,” he smiled at me and we just sat there for a moment before the voiceover announced Fullerton as the next stop.

“Here we go,” I clicked play and for the next two minutes and forty seconds we sat together listening to the song. Occasionally, Niall’s knee would bump into mine and each time it happened, I’d blush and run a hand through my hair.

By the time the song ended and we arrived at Fullerton I was really rather red in the face, even with my darker complexion I was sure Niall noticed as he bid me farewell and stepped off the train.

Once he’d stepped off he threw me one last look over his shoulder and I waved, giving him a smile back before the train doors closed and I was carried off toward home where I knew I had grocery shopping and cleaning to do.

[sarah-slater]

2018 in no particular order (aka the artistry that helped me get through it all)

ALBUMS

Neneh Cherry - Broken Politics

U.S. Girls - In a Poem Unlimited

Blood Orange - Negro Swan

Jorja Smith - Lost and Found

Tirzah - Devotion

The Internet - Hive Mind

Seinabo Sey - I’m A Dream

Emily Sprague - Mount Vision

Camp Cope - How to Socialise and Make Friends

serpentwithfeet - soil

Fatima - And Yet It’s All You

Kali Uchis - Isolation

Empress Of - US

Chancha via Circuito - Bienaventuranza

Big Joanie - Sistahs

Sarah Davachi - Gave in Rest

EPs

Sudan Archives - Sink

Tierra Whack - Whack World

Cleo Sol - Winter Songs

Little Dragon - Lover Chanting

Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith - Electronic Series Vol. 1 : Abstractions

CUTS

Chaka Khan - Like Sugar

Kelsey Lu - Due West

Yaeji - One More

Kate Bollinger - Do You Go Out Together?

MIDWIFE - RTD PT.3

Janelle Monae - Django Jane

Cat Power - Stay

Ari Lennox - Whipped Cream

BOOKS

Puro Amor - Sandra Cisneros

The Body is Not An Apology - Sonya Renee Taylor

See You in the Morning - Mairead Case

Tragedy + Time - Adam Cayton-Holland

Stone Butch Blues - Leslie Feinberg

The Last Black Unicorn - Tiffany Haddish

FILM

The Favourite

M.I.A.  // MATANGI // MAYA

Eighth Grade

We the Animals

Skate Kitchen

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Experiences/movements/moments

My first moogfest in Durham, North Carolina, with three dear friends - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED despite the 90% humidity (oy), NC is gorgeous and the pace of life felt slower and refreshing compated to Denver. But yea, MOOGFEST - esp recommended for music nerds of all stripes, in particular lovers of electronic and experimental music....got to see Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith, Jamila Woods, Lawrence Rothman, DJ Ali of A Tribe Called Quest live, and a conversation with Fatima Al-Qadiri.....also magnolias galore..have you ever SEEN a magnolia tree? Absolutely stunning.

Blood Orange at the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles

Sweden in summer with some of my best friends for Titwrench Stockholm

Hedwig and the Angry Inch at Aurora Fox

Angel Olson at the Gothic

Madlib Meets Ethiopian Legend Ayélew Mesfin (in Denver!) How did I miss this show?!

R A R E B Y R D $ at Remixed Gifts, Underground Music Showcase, Denver

Presented at a conference for the first time, with Marisa DeMarco for CULTURE/SHIFT in Albuquerque

Kanopy.com - free movie/tv streaming with Denver Library card

Guested on a podcast for the first time

Steve Hauschildt at the Savoy, Denver

First residency invitation at The Music District in Fort Collins, Colorado

First community garden plot, mostly grew flowers and herbs and this here pineapple sage which is decidedly NOT hardy in Colorado but oh so lovely:

Valerie June at The Armoury, Fort Collins

Jorja Smith Tiny Desk Concert

Albuquerque, everything about it especially the people and sounds

Being less afraid of everything, trying at least

Practice/theory of non-violent communication

Cultivating courage, not hope

[legasimmer]

Willow Creek Park

On an overcast day, Dad, Cleo and I head to Willow Creek’s central park with Gram. The plan is just to take a walk around the park at first, but as we get there, it turns out there’ s a number of other activities we are interested in.

“Look Gram! That’s the last relic I found the other day! It’s really interesting because… well, do you see that indent above the llama’s eye?”

Grandma knows a lot about many things, but she never got around to studying archeology. I’m proud beyond what words can say to be able to show her my work and watch her nod as she learns more.

We hang by the stream for a while. Gram does ask us why Cyril didn’t come with, but the truth is, Cyril like his bedroom more than the outside world. Sometimes, Cleo laughs, she wonders if he doesn’t love his bedroom more than her twin.

Then we have a try at the rollerskating rink nearby.

I’m not too sure about it.

Not too sure at all. In fact, I keep falling.

Being hungry doesn’t help. I order a nice, refreshing fruit parfait at the nearest food stall.

Just the right amount of healthy calories!

Back to roller-skating with Gram.

I’m getting better at this.

In fact, I’m enjoying it a whole lot.

Mom is back from work, and she joins us directly at the park.

There are only four people skating around on that rink, and it looks like Mom is already sort of familiar with one of them. I’ve never seen her before myself, though she definitely looks familiar.

In any case she’s friendly, and better than us at skating, so she helps Mom. It’s sort of a weird sight, like a mother with a child, though they look about the same age.

I wouldn’t mind some help, too.

We’re all just very bad at this.

[iilelio]

has anyone actually ordered refresh Cleo from amazon and received her? I understand Catty taking a minute but I am impatient ^^:

[hollyoaksloversx]

Larks in Llandudno

Rounding up a week in Hollyoaks (23rd-27th July 2018)

The sun is shining, the temperatures are soaring and it’s the perfect time for a wedding. Well, it would be if the groom hadn’t slept with the bride’s Mother and it wasn’t the 20 year old bride’s second wedding day. Let’s face it, this wedding was doomed from the start. As everyone (minus the bride’s half-brothers and two best mates) headed to Llandudno for the ceremony, trouble was lurking just under the sea as Milo emerged ready to wreck havoc...

Believing that Cindy was the cause of all the heartache in the Cunningham family, Milo issued her with an ultimatum, telling her that he would tell Holly about her one-night stand with Damon if she didn’t leave the village, and the family forever (she was allowed to take Hilton, though, Milo’s not a complete monster). Deciding that she couldn’t destroy her daughter’s happiness, Cindy broke things off with a devastated Dirk and made plans to leave after watching the wedding. However, Milo hadn’t banked on Damon wanting to get everything off his chest, and he told Holly about him and Cindy at the alter. Devastated, Holly called off the wedding and told Cindy she wanted nothing more to do with her.

With the secret out in open, Cindy realised that she no longer had to leave and told Dirk about Milo’s ultimatum. Dirk was furious about what Milo had put Cindy through and headed off to confront him. The pair ended up outside by the swimming pool, where a scuffle broke out. Dirk ended up in the water, seemingly unable to get himself out. Going to switch the pool lights out, Milo failed to notice a warning that the wiring was dodgy and Dirk was electrocuted and killed. “There’s been a terrible accident”, Milo told Cindy, Liberty and Tom as they arrived outside. Funny how these water and electrical based accidents always seem to happen when you’re around, isn’t it, Milo?

The family were left devastated by Dirk’s death, although it did seem to bring Cindy and Holly back together. Milo soon showed up at the Cunningham’s, and Cindy decided to let him stay, much to Holly’s annoyance. There was some comfort for Cindy when she discovered a message for Holly on Dirk’s video camera. The camera had also caught footage of Dirk’s confrontation with Milo and thus, the revelation that he’d been responsible for the crash that killed Helen and Gordon. Frustratingly, though, Cindy fell asleep before she got to that part! Meanwhile, Holly threw herself into a new relationship with Zack, seemingly not too badly affected by Dirk’s death. However, she finally broke down when she accidentally smashed some bits and bobs Dirk had ordered for the emporium before he died. 

Elsewhere, it was Yasmine’s 18th birthday and Prince and Hunter decided to use the occasion to make some money, deciding to throw her an Ibiza themed rave party and charge people to attend (yes, even the birthday girl). The party got off to a great start, despite Ste attempting to undercut Prince and Hunter with his own refreshments, however, things soon when to pot with the arrival of Romeo, James’ son who we met briefly a couple of weeks back. Romeo was instantly taken with Lily and attempted to chat her up. Despite Lily turning him down, pointing out that she was married, Hunter, who had taken a load of dodgy anxiety pills, got the wrong end of the stick, and lunged at Romeo, breaking the speakers in the process. With the party over, a dazed and confused Hunter ran into the woods, where he came across a dead body...

The following day, Hunter was acting strangely and later told Prince about what he’d seen. However, Prince was skeptical and even more so when he found out that his Brother was still taking the dodgy pills. Prince threw the pills away and attempted to take Hunter’s mind off the situation by volunteering him to paint the mural at the high school. Unfortunately, Hunter was plagued with flashbacks and painted a hand emerging from the soil, much to poor Sally’s horror! With Hunter still going on about the body, confiding in Sylver that he thought the body may be Carl, he offered to take Prince down to the woods to prove that he was telling the truth. However, once they got there, there was no body to be found. Someone had been along before them and buried it...

In other news this week, Grace met with Farrah at the Duke Street Social, but their date was cut short by the arrival of Glenn. Glenn warned Grace that he would be watching her, and she was later left shaken when she discovered a notebook, dropped by Zack, detailing her movements over the last couple of weeks. Harry continued to hide his prostitution from Ste and went to visit James in prison. Leela struggled to cope when she was left to look after Rose, Daniel and Iona on her own and employed Breda McQueen as the family’s new nanny (bit cheeky, that, surely she needs to speak to Courtney and Tegan first?!) Tegan wasn’t very taken with the idea and sacked Breda, telling her and Leela that she didn’t want anyone interrupting her time with Rose. However, she eventually reconsidered and Breda was reinstated. Finally, Diane was forced to tell Dee Dee that Tony had gone away for a while.

5 Things We Learnt This Week:

1. NHS budget cuts have finally hit Dee Valley Hospital. As I pointed out last year, Dee Valley Hospital seemed to have no problems with funding. Farrah was able to provide Kim with two counselling sessions in one day whilst a spare ambulance was used to help Sienna escape from Warren. However, it seems the hard times have now hit, and they’ve been forced to employ Prince to clean the windows. Most hospitals will employ window cleaners with professional, industrial equipment, not any old guy with a bucket and squeegee. 

2. Hollyoaks have more chairs than they know what to do with. Why were about 50 chairs set up for Damon and Holly’s wedding when less than 10 people were present? I get that it would have cost the show money to hire a load of extras to sit in them but it would surely have also cost them to buy/hire a load of fancy chairs that weren’t going to be used? Just put out one chair per guest and have done with it!

3. Health and safety standards are slipping. Surely if the wiring of the pool lights were faulty, the pool would have been drained, or at the very least, cordoned off? They wouldn’t have just put up a sign that idiots were evidently going to ignore?

4. Best friends and Brothers don’t matter. Did anyone else notice the strange lack of Alfie, Ellie and Cleo at Holly and Damon’s wedding? 

5. You’re never too old to mosh with those 10 years younger than you, as Ste proved this week. 

Characters Featured:

Alfie, Bobby, Breda, Brody, Buster, Cindy, Damon, Daniel, Dee Dee, Diane, Dirk, Farrah, Grace, Glenn, Goldie, Harry, Holly, Hunter, Iona, James, Kim, Leela, Liberty, Lily, Mandy, Mercedes, Myra, Romeo, Rose, Sally, Scott, Simone, Ste, Sylver, Tegan, Tom, Yasmine and Zack. 

Past Characters Mentioned:

Rhys Ashworth, Fraser Black, Carl Costello, Gordon Cunningham, Helen Cunningham, Max Cunningham, Steph Dean, Grace Hutchinson, Maggie Kinsella, Nathan Nightingale, Jason Roscoe, Robbie Roscoe, Trevor Royle, Dennis Savage, Dodger Savage, Nick Savage, Shane Sweeney. 

[casiestewart]

The Caterpillar

I know it’s been a minute. I swear I’ve started posts and just haven’t been able to finish them. I’m in a cocoon stage right now now. I am the caterpillar.  I’m working on myself. I’ve been going to the gym, eating healthy, getting good sleep. This past year I really suffered from burnout. I’ve spent more than the last decade updating the world and the internet with my life and tbh, I’m tired. I need to find myself again. 

From Cleo Wade‘s book Heart Talk – Order here

I’m excited about the winter incubation to stay home, work on myself, and emerge in the spring a strong, beautiful butterfly. Looking into 2020, I want to start the year feeling refreshed.

2020 is going to be the year of ME.

Thank you Indigo for these cute snaps from their holiday preview today. There were so many nice things I’ll be ordering a few online (with Rakuten of course!). A couple of people asked about my hat this morning and it was a total STEAL from Amazon, buy it here.

In other news, I have a great post coming with my fav books I’ve read this year (there are a lot!). AND another post with the new Roomba we got for the office, it CLEANS THE FLOOR.

Hope your week is off to a great start. Sending love across the internet to your screen, from mine.

Original article: The Caterpillar

©2019 CASIE STEWART. All Rights Reserved.

from WordPress https://casiestewart.com/the-caterpillar/