#I should gif that one too... ooooh... Project!

[queenoftsage]

POV: You miss your wedding cause the royal guards kidnap you...

part 2 of.... Handsome and in distress?

They were told to treat him with the utmost respect.

........ In which alternate universe is this respect? lol.

I insist... Poor Soo!

Series: 'Flower Crew: Joseon Marriage Agency'

Part 1

Part 3

[hazbinhotei]

running away.

happy ending. — bad ending.

warnings: disgusting yearning and pining, alastor is bad at feelings

word count: 4043 (yeesh)

summary: Alastor finds himself torn apart by his feelings for you—caught between the instinct to flee, as he always has, and the unbearable need to stay by your side.

alastor x gn!reader. ooooh boy. this one's gonna be a doozy, folks. if you like yearning, this one's for you. can you tell i was heavily inspired by mr. darcy's confession? (i honestly can’t tell if he's ooc in this because canon alastor has never shown a single ounce of yearning for someone in his 8-episode-plus-a-pilot lifespan—so feel free to let me know if he feels too ooc!) note: there will be a part two to this story, but it will be split up into two different endings—a happy ending, and a terrible, angst-ridden ending. buckle up motherfuckers.

Alastor was a creature of habit. Order. A strict, unshakable routine built over decades of meticulous control.

Mornings began with coffee (black, no sugar, piping hot). Then, a careful selection of the day’s amusements—perhaps meddling in Husk’s card games, spinning nonsensical riddles at Niffty, or casually terrorizing poor unsuspecting souls. If not that, then there was always his beloved radio broadcast, an extension of his own theatricality, his voice slipping into the airwaves with a whispered promise of chaos. He had his weekly tea with Rosie in Cannibal Town, the two of them exchanging pleasantries steeped in the unspoken understanding of what lay beneath their grins. And, of course, there was assisting Charlie with whatever new, doomed-to-fail project she had set her heart upon—whether it was trying to rehabilitate a particularly stubborn sinner or attempting to redecorate the lobby with decor so disgustingly cheery it made his teeth itch.

It was simple. It was structured. It was comfortable.

Then you arrived.

And now, nothing was comfortable anymore.

You weren’t supposed to fit in so easily. You weren’t supposed to slip into the rhythm of the hotel as if you had always belonged, as if Hell itself had been waiting for you. You weren’t supposed to make conversation feel like a game he wanted to play, something effortless, something that left him wanting to hear your voice just once more before you left the room. You weren’t supposed to light up a space in a way that made his carefully cultivated shadows feel... lesser. Weaker.

And under no circumstances should he have felt—what was the word?—relief whenever you entered. As if an invisible weight had been pressing on his chest all day and only when he caught sight of you did it lift, just slightly. That wasn't how it worked. Not for him. Not for what he was. He wasn’t meant to miss something he had never needed before. He wasn’t meant to ache for something so simple, so insignificant as your presence.

It started small. A twitch in his fingers when you sat beside him on the couch. An uncharacteristic pause before he replied to one of your jokes. A nagging awareness of how close you stood whenever you did your unspoken daily routine of passing him his morning coffee, your fingertips brushing his just barely—

Pathetic.

He was the Radio Demon. The very concept of intimacy was laughable—an absurd little mortal relic that he had shed alongside his humanity long ago. What purpose did it serve, this feeble notion of longing? Affection had never been anything more than a tool, a game, a means to an end. He had wielded it, manipulated it, destroyed those who mistook it for kindness.

Love, devotion, tenderness—these were things for weaker creatures, for those still clinging to the fragile remnants of their mortal selves. He had observed it time and time again, how it turned even the strongest into fools, left them raw and bleeding, desperate to be seen, to be wanted. He had laughed at it, mocked it, torn it apart with his own hands just to watch how easily it crumbled. Love was a trick, a trap, a cruel joke played by the universe on those too naive to see the inevitable decay waiting at the end of it all.

And yet.

And yet, you gnawed at the edges of that certainty. You, with your warm eyes and your easy laughter, your maddening persistence. You, who had never once cowered before him, who spoke to him not as a monster, not as a demon, but simply as he was. The idea of being wanted by you made his skin crawl, not because it was unpleasant, but because it was tempting. Because the very thought of reaching back, of grasping onto something that could slip through his fingers, made an unspoken and ugly emotion coil deep in his chest.

No. He would not succumb to it. He refused to.

But somehow, he couldn’t stop thinking about how your hands looked when they smoothed down a tablecloth. How your voice dipped just slightly when you spoke to him in a quiet room. How the simple act of sitting beside you made his chest tighten like an ill-fitting suit. How your presence, once nothing more than a fleeting amusement, had begun to linger in the back of his mind long after you had left the room.

He was losing his grip.

So naturally, he pulled away.

At first, it was subtle. Declining your invitations with a breezy excuse. Avoiding the library at the hours he knew you’d be there. Letting the space between you on the couch grow wider, until one day, he simply stopped sitting there at all. It should have been easy. He had abandoned attachments before. He had crushed them when necessary.

Then why did this feel different? Why did the absence of your voice press against his ribs like something suffocating? Why did the distance feel less like control and more like punishment? Why did that confused expression you gave him every time he avoided you make his dead heart shatter, his hands itching to cup your face and ease that look away?

He convinced himself it was working. He convinced himself it had to work.

Then you handed him his morning coffee.

"Here you go, Al," you chirped, the usual warmth in your voice melodic to his ears. Your fingers brushed his as you passed him the mug—his favorite 'Oh Deer!' mug, the one you had bought for him during one of your outings into the city—and the sensation burned. Not from the heat of the coffee, but from the sheer wrongness of how much he had missed that fleeting contact.

He didn’t mean to snap.

But it was all too much—your touch, your voice, your mere existence gnawing at the brittle edges of his carefully constructed distance. The words came before he could stop them, sharp and cutting, a desperate attempt to shove you back to the safe distance he needed you to be.

"You made this wrong."

A moment passed, your long lashes fluttering as you blinked at him.

"...What?" Your smile faltered, and he had to swallow the lump in his throat from the look of it.

His grip on the mug tightened, nodding curtly as he tried his best to turn a sinister smile onto you. "It’s dreadful," he exhaled, tone venomous and cold. "I would have preferred if you hadn’t wasted my time with such an amateur attempt."

The hurt in your eyes was immediate. A flicker of pain, confusion knitting your brows together, the brightness in your gaze dimming as if he had reached in and plucked the light from them himself. Your fingers twitched around the empty space where the mug had just been, and Alastor could hear the soft, uneven hitch of your breath—small, nearly imperceptible, but to him, it was deafening.

His stomach twisted violently, the pool of regret forming instantly, like a faucet turned on full blast. The sensation was foreign, unwelcome. His tongue felt too heavy in his mouth, his throat suddenly too tight. He should have felt triumphant, victorious in successfully pushing you away. Instead, all he felt was cold.

Before he could fully comprehend the wreckage he had caused, you took a step back, your face twisting with shock, wounded in a way that made his chest snap.

"I—I’m sorry," you stammered, voice smaller than he had ever heard it. Then, without another word, you turned and walked away.

He stood there, coffee steaming in his grip, staring at the place you had been just moments ago. And that's when the guilt slammed into him at full force, sharp and immediate, like a knife twisted in his gut. It was unlike any other regret he had ever felt—this wasn’t the satisfaction of a well-executed deception, nor the detached amusement of watching someone fall apart at his hands. No, this was different. This was wrong.

His fingers flexed around the mug, but the warmth no longer registered. He could call you back. Apologize. Lie and say it had been a simple mistake, that he was having an off day, that his temper had flared for reasons beyond your control. He could spin some ridiculous excuse, charm you with a quip, erase the damage with a well-placed grin and an empty promise that it wouldn’t happen again. You might even believe him.

But that would mean admitting the truth to himself.

That he wanted to reach for you. That he missed you already. That the very act of hurting you made him feel more like a monster than anything else he had done in both life and Hell combined. He had destroyed people, laughed in the face of suffering, relished in the chaos of agony—and yet, somehow, this was what made his stomach churn. This tiny, insignificant moment of cruelty.

His free hand clenched at his side. Was this for the best? Hadn't he convinced himself it was? Keeping you at arm’s length was necessary, wasn’t it? If he let you in, if he let you matter, what then? He couldn't afford to want something. He couldn't afford to lose something. He would lose you—if not by his own doing, then by Hell’s inevitable cruelty. And yet, in this moment, staring at the empty space you had left behind, he barely knew what to believe anymore.

But Alastor continued on with what he knew best: forced nonchalance. He went about his day as if his entire world (you) wasn’t being ripped apart from his very hands, ignoring the way his heart ached to see your figure roaming the halls of the hotel. You hadn’t shown your face the entire day, but Alastor simply understood that you were merely hiding from him.

Really, the idea of you avoiding him should have been amusing—should have been nothing more than an inevitable reaction to his own actions. But the reality of it? It gnawed at him. He had practically bared his teeth at you like a rabid beast, and now, the sight of your absence in the halls felt more damning than any glare or scorned remark you could have thrown his way.

He let your absence continue, let the days tick by, convinced that if he just waited long enough, this ache in his chest would fade into nothingness. But then came the third day, and you were nowhere to be seen.

By then, the irritation had settled in deep, poisoning his mood like rot spreading beneath the surface. His patience had thinned, his normally sharp composure fraying at the edges. Conversations that he once found amusing became tiresome. Charlie had noticed his snappiness, her ever-sunny demeanor tinged with concern. Angel had made an offhand comment about how he seemed to be 'on the fritz' before skipping off without waiting for a response. Even Husk, Husk, had the audacity to offer him a drink—as if he were some pathetic wreck in need of drowning his sorrows.

That was when Alastor realized, with no small amount of irritation, that your absence had begun to sink its claws into him in ways he hadn’t anticipated. And that? That was unacceptable. Entirely unacceptable! He should have been able to brush it off, should have been able to let the days pass without so much as a second thought. And yet, here he was, pacing his room like some restless specter, unable to drown out the gnawing sense that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

And then, there was the matter of worry. A most bothersome emotion, one he was neither accustomed to nor particularly fond of. You had never been one to isolate yourself—always eager to assist, to busy your hands, to play your part in Charlie’s grandiose little dream. If redemption were possible, he had no doubt that you would be the prime candidate, the shining example of doing better.

And yet, for all your goodness, for all your damnable persistence, you had vanished. No sharp retorts, no stubborn frowns in the hallway, no stiff exchanges over breakfast. Just… nothing. And Alastor—who had spent decades mastering the art of detachment—ached in a way that made his very being itch at the absence of you.

And so, after enduring three whole days of this insufferable torment, he found himself standing outside your door at the ungodly hour of 2AM, posture far from its usual effortless grace. He could have just appeared inside—after all, formalities were often wasted on him—but some part of him hesitated, some fraying, fragile thing inside him insisting that this moment required the courtesy of a knock.

His knuckles rapped against the wood, and for once, he felt the weight of his own heartbeat in his ears, his stomach twisting in ways that defied every carefully crafted illusion of control he had spent years perfecting.

Would you open the door? Or would you leave him standing in the dark, drowning in the mess he had made?

He barely had time to dwell on it before the door cracked open, revealing you standing in the dim light of your room. His mind went utterly blank. There you were—eyes still heavy with sleep, hair slightly disheveled, but unmistakably you. And despite everything, despite the coolness in your expression, despite the guarded way you held yourself, you were still the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on.

Your brows furrowed. "Alastor?" Your voice was groggy, confused, and laced with a wary edge that made his gut twist. "What are you doing here?"

He didn’t answer. Couldn’t. Because in that moment, every single wall, every flimsy excuse he had built to keep you at a distance collapsed. He was moving before he could think, hands grasping your shoulders before pulling you into him, burying his face into the crook of your neck to hide his expression. The moment he felt the warmth of you against him, something inside him broke. His arms tightened, his breath shuddering as he clung to you with the desperation of a man grasping onto the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

"You’ve got me completely strung up, darling," he murmured against your skin, voice shaking, uncharacteristically human. "My soul—it belongs to you. Somehow, in ways I never thought possible, you’ve infected every inch of me. My mind is shattered, torn apart at the very idea of needing someone so much, needing you so much. Ça fait mal même d'être séparé de toi."

You stood frozen, his words washing over you like a tide, overwhelming and impossible to process all at once. This was Alastor—the Radio Demon—collapsing against you, breath uneven, body taut with something that felt too much like fear. He spoke like a man unraveling, like a creature who had spent his entire existence untouched by love and was now drowning in it. You didn't even understand the words he said in French, but by the way his velveteen fingers held you like you were the most sacred thing in this realm, you only assumed it was an extension of his profession.

His breath hitched, and suddenly, the words were tumbling out faster, as though if he didn’t say them now, he never would. "I’m worried," he admitted, voice raw, cracking at the edges. "Worried that my entire existence before this was a sham. That every moment, every act of amusement, every indulgence, was just a hollow distraction to bide my time while I waited for your arrival in my life. Because all I want now—all I ever want—is to spend my eternity loving you. And that terrifies me."

"Je ne sais pas quoi en faire," he confessed, voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t know what to do with you. But I—"

His fingers curled into the fabric of your sleeves, shaking ever so slightly. "I know I don’t want to let go."

Your heart pounded, but the moment you wrapped your arms around him, he melted. His ears flattened against his head as he exhaled, sinking into you with a shudder, as if the weight of his own emotions had finally exhausted him. He was so tired. You could feel it in the way he leaned against you, in the tension slowly unwinding from his frame, in the way his breath steadied the longer you held him.

You glanced up at the ceiling of the hotel hallway, simply listening to his breathing mixing with yours as your thoughts ran wild. You'd be lying if you said your heart wasn’t hammering, your face burning from Alastor’s confession, from the rawness in his voice that still lingered in the air between you. You had always found Alastor appealing—too appealing. But you had banished those thoughts to the farthest, dustiest corners of your heart, convincing yourself that he was above feeling emotions such as yearning, that he was incapable of it.

So instead, you had settled. Settled for the little moments he allowed you. Settled for the quiet mornings where you made his coffee, a simple act that meant more to you than it ever should have. It had been your small way of being close to him, a selfish indulgence wrapped in routine. He never needed you to make it for him, but you had done it anyway, convincing yourself it was nothing more than habit. If you could not have his love, at least you could be something to him—another piece of his structured, predictable world.

Yet here you were, rubbing slow, soothing circles into his spine as he clung to you like you were his lifeline, as if letting you go would devastate him completely.

"This is new for you, isn’t it?" you murmured after a moment, a gentle tease laced with understanding. He only nodded, his grip on you tightening just slightly, as if the thought of you slipping away was unbearable.

You sighed, your fingers weaving through his bobbed hair as you whispered, "Then rest, Alastor. Come, let's get you some shut eye."

He barely had the energy to protest as you guided him inside your suite, leading him to your bed as though it was the most natural thing in the world. You pretended like this was natural, hoped this was natural for him as much as it was for you. You simply believed it was, because the moment he collapsed against you, his head resting against your chest as you cradled him, his body finally, finally relaxed.

He mumbled incoherently—his confession still spilling past his lips, but now softer, sleepier. Then, in a hushed murmur, barely audible against the quiet hum of the room, he rasped, "I didn’t mean it... about the coffee. It was perfect. It’s always perfect. I just... I just needed to push you away. And that was—" he swallowed, voice heavy with regret, "—an idiotic move, wasn't it?"

You let out a soft laugh, your fingers absentmindedly playing with the red and black strands of his hair, marveling at how uncharacteristically vulnerable he was in your arms. "Yes, it was."

A deep sigh left him, the weight of his own foolishness pressing down on him like an anchor. But as your fingers continued their soothing motion against his scalp, he let himself melt into your touch, his body going lax against yours.

You bit your lip, staring down at him as the last of his tension seeped away. Butterflies stirred in your stomach. His face had softened in sleep, the sharpness of his usual smile now gentle, almost innocent. You had never seen him sleep before. You wondered if he always looked this peaceful, or if it was just you that made him feel safe enough to rest.

A quiet hope bloomed inside you, cautious yet warm, as you tightened your hold on him. Maybe this would lead to something more. Maybe, just maybe, the Radio Demon had found something worth holding onto.

And as you watched him sleep, his face unguarded, peaceful in a way you had never seen before, you found yourself fighting the urge to sleep. But the warmth of his body pressed against yours, the steady rise and fall of his chest, the way his fingers unconsciously curled around the fabric of your pajamas as if anchoring himself to you—it was enough to lull you into a sense of comfort you hadn’t realized you needed.

Slowly, your eyes fluttered shut, your breathing falling in sync with his. You didn’t fight it. The past few days had been exhausting—a whirlwind of emotions, too heavy to bear. As sleep crept in, everything else melted away. The last thing you registered was the feeling of Alastor shifting slightly, nuzzling ever so subtly into you, his body seeking yours even in slumber. His breath was warm against your collarbone, steady now, quiet—so different from the ever-broadcasting hum of his usual presence. For the first time, he felt real, tangible. Yours.

And just like that, the two of you stayed tangled together the entire night, wrapped in each other’s arms, as if the universe itself had been waiting for this moment all along.

The morning was peaceful.

You stirred awake with a soft hum, stretching slightly as the red glow of dawn spilled through the curtains. The warmth surrounding you was comforting, familiar—until you realized it was gone. Your brows furrowed as a cold chill seeped in where Alastor had been. The sheets beside you were rumpled but empty, the lingering warmth already fading. Your eyes snapped open.

He was gone.

Confusion rushed through you as you sat up, scanning the room as if expecting him to be lurking in the shadows. But there was nothing—no trace of him, no sign that he had ever been here at all.

Had you imagined it? Had the past night been nothing more than some fever dream conjured by your longing heart?

Then, your gaze landed on your bedside table.

A single note sat there, the paper slightly crumpled, like the writer had hesitated before leaving it behind. Dread pooled in your stomach as you reached for it, fingers trembling slightly as you unfolded the page. The cursive was rushed, messy—so unlike the usual pristine elegance of his writing. But you knew, without a doubt, who it belonged to.

Let’s not dwell on last night’s theatrics, dear. A lapse in judgment, nothing more. Best forgotten.

Your hands trembled as you read the words, once, twice, three times over, as if the ink might rearrange itself, as if the meaning might shift into something softer, something less cruel. But it never did. The more you stared, the more final it became, each elegant loop of his handwriting twisting the knife deeper into your chest.

Your throat constricted, a hollow ache settling in your stomach as the events of the night before played on repeat in your mind. His voice, raw and desperate. His hands gripping onto you like you were the only thing keeping him from vanishing. The way he had melted in your arms, safe, vulnerable—and now he was gone, pretending it had never happened.

A shaky breath escaped you, your fingers clutching the note so tightly the edges crumpled beneath your grip. You should have been angry. You should have cursed his name, torn the paper apart, stormed through the hotel to find him and demand an explanation. But all you could do was sit there, the weight of his absence crushing down on you, making it hard to breathe.

Had it really meant so little to him? Had it been nothing more than a moment of weakness, something he could cast aside come morning? And yet… the way he had clung to you, the way he had whispered his devotion into your skin—how could that have been a lie?

Your vision blurred as you pressed the note to your chest, curling forward as if the pressure could somehow hold you together. You wanted to believe this wasn’t the end. That this was fear, not indifference. That he was running not because last night was meaningless, but because it meant too much. But no matter how much you clung to that hope… the silence left in his wake felt an awful lot like goodbye.

But what if he never stopped running?

"Ça fait mal même d'être séparé de toi." = It hurts even to be separated from you. "Je ne sais pas quoi en faire" = I don't know what to do with it i am no where near even slightly fluent in french so please take these google translates with a grain of salt. stay tuned for part 2!

[pastafossa]

hi pasta ! i’ve been a long time fan of you and your work, your writing is by far my favorite so far for matt that you’ve reignited me to write fanfics again ! i think you’re incredibly talented and so smart in your way of designing a story so vividly it just sparked my desire to to create again after my 30th reread of TRT. it is totally okay if you choose not to answer these but i have a couple of questions for writers? i have written fanfics before but they never came out to my liking (i never published them😅) so i’m looking to improve it and better my understanding of creating content that i like and am proud of!

the questions !! :

what are some things and tricks to writing lively, real dialogue? i find when i write sometimes my characters seem dull and cardboard like. i want it to flow naturally god dammit !

how do you go about characterization and staying true to it as your character develop and evolve? and to riff off of this question what is some additional research you would do to get the nature of your chosen character (ex, matt) right?

what are ways to better your writing? for example highlighting a characters complex emotions, describing the scenery around, detailed fight scenes and car chases, etc, etc. and not just them but silly grammatical errors and simple vocab. (i’m trilingual so it get a bit fuzzy remember all the rules of every language 😭) your foreshadowing game is just chefs kiss cuz you would sit on something and brush past it but it’ll make its comeback 20 chaps later, HOW??

and lastly, what is your advice to planning a long story? what are some steps you take to je respect the timeline of a show or a movie and how do you fit your OC into it? as well as making the OC’s backstory fit in. speaking of backstory and lore, i find it so hard to fit in believable, human lore to my OC and not make it super childish. i think you did such an interesting job with project beagle, the antagonist, the body swapping, the symbolism, etc, that it just feel so canon to me.

well thats all i have to ask, i hope it’s not too much, you really are such an awesome artist and i admire your work as a writer so much! thank you for sharing your stories on here/ao3. ❤️

Oh my gosh, this is so sweet! I'm absolutely gd honored you love TRT this much, I'm so, so happy it could help make you want to write fic again! 😭😭😭 Seriously, one of the things that just makes me absolutely delighted is when something I've made could lead to more things being made in turn, cause I don't just love Matt and Daredevil and TRT, I love stories in general! The world needs more of them, so this is FUCKING AWESOME. And I'm happy to answer these questions as best I can!

I'm also going to put this behind a see-more tag cause it's long LOL.

Token Matt gif just for fun. LET'S GET STARTED.

Natural, lively dialogue: Ooooh this is a fun question I haven't gotten asked before I don't think. I won't lie, part of it absolutely the immersion with all the shows, movies, and books I take in. But there's another element I was taught in creative writing classes - the idea that sometimes you should read as a writer. That is: read while asking yourself, 'how did they do that? Why? How did they foreshadow this?' Etc. You can do the same thing with characters speaking and with people. Listen to how these characters speak, how similar people speak, and try to get a feel for how they talk. I'll use contractions as an example. Most people use contractions, for example (at least in the US), in natural flowing dialogue. It's shorter, it's more casual, whereas they might speak more formally (less contractions) in a professional setting like a courtroom or when they're really angry and speaking somewhat threateningly. They also might not use contractions for other reasons - in TRT Ciro tends to use fewer contractions when speaking English, both because he's a classy guy and because English isn't his native language (he learned it more formally). I also try to treat each character as having their own natural accent (which can also show a bit of their personality). Matt rambles when he's nervous, but his dialogue gets sharp and choppy when he's furious (Devil wants to act, not talk). Foggy loves metaphors and has a lot of swings up and down in tone for emphasis (Grew up a theatre kid). When Jane in TRT is feeling particularly cold, she starts dropping unnecessary words from her sentences so they're shorter (more efficient + trained to give immediate answers without flourish). Sometimes it can also help to listen to the dialogue you write or have it go through a text-to-speech program so you can hear if it sounds stilted, but I've found the ability to detect stilted dialogue is just something you have to practice!

Keeping true to the character while letting them evolve: this is ALSO A FUN QUESTION. Especially because something I was taught is that, generally speaking (always exceptions): a stagnant character is a boring character. They need to struggle with who they are, and grow or devolve as a person. They need to learn. I knew I wanted that to happen in TRT, so yeah, a big question was how I could show characters growing while also keeping them the characters we know and love. And for me it was about figuring out what the basic building blocks of those characters were, and making sure they were always present, because an apple pie should always, in theory, come out of the oven an apple pie, even if it's been changed some by baking. Things like Matt's struggle with his faith, the way he's sorta incapable of finding a middle ground between Devil and Matt Murdock, his refusal to ignore injustice, his trauma and fear of abandonment, his love of the Kitchen, his anger issues and the ensuing impulsivity, these are all building blocks for him. These do not change. What changes is how they manifest, and what he does with them. Matt learns he can trust Jane with his trauma and fear of abandonment. She helps calm his anger. The building blocks are all still there. Some of them just get arranged a little differently as he grows. Same with Jane and how she has grown. She's always going to have Hound Mode floating around in the back of her head. Security will always be her biggest concern, her motivator. She's always going to be the one who prefers to think and plan. She'll always feel a little weird about personal identity, and be able to flip through lies and false faces with the best of them. But she'll handle all of that differently as she grows alongside Matt. The plot is baking them, changing those pies in the oven, but their base ingredients are something I'm super careful to keep consistent. That I think is one of my secrets since this has been going on 8 years now!

Additional research for characterization: I am always, always, always going to recommend good psychology research (I loved this shit in college, especially developmental psychology, and fortunately there's a TON that's easily accessible online and doesn't require any classes). For Matt, that would be psychological things like... what does repeated abandonment do to a person when they're a kid? How does abandonment and parental loss shape their attachment styles and relationships later in life (hint: it's not great)? We know he has untreated depression, so what's going on in his brain considering he's pushing all that down? What would the day-to-day struggle being exposed to all that crime and pain do (research into things like the mental health of paramedics and social workers, etc)? Dissect these characters like little bugs, put them on your table, and try to figure out why someone would do what they do. Be curious, basically!

How To Improve In General: I LOVE THAT YOU BROUGHT UP MY FORESHADOWING FIRST OFF, I'LL ANSWER THAT IN THE NEXT BIT FOR PLANNING BUT. For me this is a couple things. The biggest one is reading, reading, reading. Read professional stuff in addition to fanfic. Read in your chosen genre. Read writers you want to write like! Read writers who are writing what you want to learn! And when you do, ask yourself how they did what you want to do. I have one book series that's my absolute favorite, I've read it over and over and over again. And it's very likely that someone who's read that book series and TRT would be able to spot the influence that book series has had on Jane's character voice, how I write action scenes, morally grey characters, etc. So that's where some of it comes from! For things like detailed emotions and sensations, my favorite book is The Emotion Thesaurus! I've found I don't need it as much now because I've gotten the hang of it, but it's still good to have there as a refresher. And for things like grammar and simple vocab, not only will reading help, but I'd also open the door to any fandom friends who might beta read for you! I've been writing fic since I was... hrrgh, quite young. And I'm super grateful for the betas over the years that would go over my fic and leave notes - notes not just on what they had changed but why: why they changed this punctuation, why they broke up this sentence, why they capitalized this or lower-cased that. That helped a ton! But yeah, when in doubt, grab an author you love and open it up and go, '...Ok, so how did you do this???' Also holy hell, you're triilingual so you already get a TON of kudos here on learning how multiple languages work, YOU GOT THIS.

Planning a long story: now's the part where I make people groan but the biggest advice is to outline, I know a ton of us heard it in school and ignored it because pfft but THE OUTLINE REALLY IS IMPORTANT. This is how I was able to foreshadow things ages in advance - I knew what was coming in the future so I was able to leave breadcrumbs earlier on. This also meant I was able to figure out how certain dominoes would tip (like when TRT's original plotlines would change something in canon) or when there were gaps in Daredevil's timeline that I could neatly settle into. Knowing the entirety of the story and having it all laid out also meant it was easier to change things or work to make sure TRT fit into the Daredevil/Marvel Universe like a puzzle piece. That was one of the steps for me both when it came to respecting the timeline (not that you need to! That was a personal choice for me) and with making sure the lore all fit in. I love the Marvel universe, have since I was a kid, so I was able to tap some of their fun recurring tropes and themes (Evil scientists, secret government projects, Mutants/Enhanced characters in hiding) and instead of trying to make it new, I tried to do my own spin on it instead because I know this sort of thing already exists there, and threw in some of the other general genre tropes I enjoy (love me some symbolic otherworlds and psychic connections). I think for an OC like this, that's sort of the key. Their backstories will fit because they're built on power structures and building blocks that already exist. It's just about finding a little section that hasn't been told yet. That's where this type of OC flourishes: in these little gaps between walls and load-bearing pillars, a story and character you wouldn't find all that unusual if they popped up as a side character in canon, all to explore some part of the world that hasn't really been fleshed out yet. AND if desired, I think there's something to be said for matching just how grounded/fantastical your show/movie is. Daredevil is very, very grounded. People get hurt. They die. These aren't Avengers-level Gods who can take a lightning strike. So I respected that with Jane, who gets hurt... fairly often, tbh. I also leaned into, yet again, a story gap in that while a lot of the people running around with the Devil (Frank, Elektra, Stick, Jess and Luke, etc) are GOOD at fighting, Jane's specialty is NOT fighting, generally, even if she's pretty damn good with a gun and quick with her knife. Her specialty is getting away, so it gives us new things to explore in terms of threats and fight scenes!

I hope all of this helps! Everyone gets better with practice, so don't be afraid to put your stuff out there! God knows I've got old fanfic floating around the internet, and a lot of my early stuff wasn't anywhere near what TRT is. But I also couldn't have gotten to TRT without writing it, posting it, and learning from it. <3

[x-just-another-fanfic-writer-x]

The Neighbour Down The Hall

Chapter 2

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: Continued bump ins leave you feeling a little awkward! But you finally learn his name.

Word count: 1.2k

AO3

It was three days later when you saw him again. After a long week at work, you stopped by the local corner shop desperate for a sugar fix. You both loved and hated your job. The amazing people there kept you tethered to the company, but you hated the pressure of your role. As part of the projects team, you inevitably were a decision maker. Over time, the pressures of making choices day after day then coming home to mother your boyfriend were getting to you. And no matter how healthy you tried to be, after a week of shit from work and him, you needed some comfort food.

You waited in line, not paying attention to the dark haired stranger two people ahead in front of the cashier. When he turned to leave, you awkwardly made eye contact and realised who it was. For a split second you wondered if you should smile, but his sullen demeanour made you avert your gaze. Though not before noticing his eyes flit down at the pile of junk food in your hands. You clutched the items tighter to your chest as he walked past, trying to ignore your embarrassment.

Ten minutes later, you dumped the bag of goodies onto your dining table.

“Babe, I'm home!” you called out into the apartment. Your boyfriend emerged from the bedroom as you emptied the contents of the bag onto the table. 

“What have you got here, little miss?” he asked playfully as he wrapped an arm around your waist from behind.

“Your favourites,” you replied, an impish smirk spreading across your face. Without fail, buying him food would always earn you brownie points. 

“Was work okay?” he asked, planting a kiss on your temple before he walked around to inspect the items. 

You shrugged. “Yeah, it was fine,” you replied, the white lie barely tasting bitter on your lips anymore. “You?”

“Stressful as ever,” he murmured. “Ooooh you got me the gummy bears!”

You smiled gently, “Yep, I got you the gummy bears." You mentally settled in for another evening of meaningless talk. The two of you ended up watching TV late into the night. Justin, the takeaway addict, ordered pizza and chicken wings. Despite tasting delicious, you knew it was a mistake when you struggled to fall asleep that night.

The next morning you woke early, still feeling gross from the previous night's fast food. Your boyfriend was sound asleep, but after waking up too much from going to the bathroom, there was no way you’d be able to get back to sleep now. So you decided to start your day and go for a jog, determined to burn off the extra calories. 

The air was fresh and crisp as you stood outside the apartment building doing some last minute stretches before your run. You were bent down touching your toes when, between your legs, you saw an upside down figure walking out the door. You quickly stood upright, hyper aware of the pose you were just in, and tried to nonchalantly stretch a different limb. You snuck a glance of the male- him again.

You internally groaned, wondering how you managed to keep bumping into him. You continued to stretch for far longer than necessary, until he had walked down the road and out of sight.

Over the next two weeks, it almost became a habit. You began to worry the guy would think you were stalking him. You saw him in the corner shop again one Wednesday night; he walked in, his hair dishevelled from the rain, whilst you left with an impulsively bought tub of ice cream. You offered him a little smile which he didn’t return. Two days later he was in the complex’s lobby, a waft of his cologne hitting your nostrils a moment after he walked past. This time, he made eye contact at least, but neither of you smiled. At the weekend, you ended up crossing his path twice on your jog in the local park. You went home without reaching your desired goal, not wanting to risk seeing him a third time. When you saw him in the mailroom a few days later, the awkward silence was almost too much to bear.

You made eye contact with him, and smiled. You weren’t sure what to expect, but he held your gaze, and gave a small smile back.

“Hi,” you said tentatively.

“Hi,” he replied, before another uncomfortable silence.

“Are you… settling into the building okay?” you asked, gesturing absentmindedly around the room.

“It’s okay,” he shrugged.

“Well if there’s anything I can help with let me know.”

“Why would I need help?” he said, turning to face you more fully as he narrowed his eyes slightly. 

“Well your accent. You’re not from, um…” you cleared your throat uncomfortably. “The offer’s there, anyway.”

The man nodded, and you thought the conversation had ended, but he didn’t make any moves to leave. He just stared at you. His blue eyes were starting to make you feel uncomfortable before he finally looked down at the pile of letters in your hand.

"Gonna assume your name's not Justin?"

It took you a moment to realize how the hell he knew your boyfriend's name, AND that he was asking for your name. "Oh! No! No, it's Jess."

"Mine's Bucky."

"Short for Buckbeak?" you quipped, finding yourself mildly amusing. He gave you a puzzled look. "Harry Potter?"

"Never seen it. Short for Buchanan."

"Oh. That's not a first name?”

"No. It's not.” 

You looked at him, naturally expecting him to elaborate on what his first name was, but it didn't come. "Well… nice to officially meet you. Now I can stop thinking of you as ‘guy who lives down the hall’." Who I keep bumping into and promise I’m not doing it deliberately, you add internally.

He smiled tightly but remained hovering in the room. You weren’t sure what he was waiting for, but took it as your cue to leave.

“Well I will see you around, Bucky.”

"You too," he replied. 

You ended up spending the next half an hour worrying if he thought your comment alluded to the fact you kept bumping into him. And if he therefore thought you were stalking him. You were practically planning out ways to avoid the man by the time your boyfriend got home later that night.

“I officially met our neighbour,” you mentioned over dinner. 

“Which one?”

“The new guy down the hall. His name’s Bucky.”

“Like Buckbeak?” Justin asked. You smirked.

“That’s what I asked, but no. Just a nickname.”

“What’s he like?”

“American. Kinda stoic. Really blue eyes…”

“Really blue eyes, hmm?” he asked. You noticed the jealous glint in his eyes, and rolled your own.

“Relax, babe,” you gently chided. Though secretly, you kind of enjoyed it.

You only felt slightly bad about those eyes and the smell of his cologne being on your mind for the rest of the evening.

Next chapter

[valenschmidt]

Thanks for answering my ask! Yes, that's very true, Ryan has been consistently hated/viewed with suspicion and skepticism for years, so the majority of buddie fandom (who are Oliver stans) wouldn't want to ship him with Oliver. I distinctly remember one particular post (in Ryan's tag) a year or two ago that was like, "ugh if buddie goes canon i feel sorry for oliver having to kiss that man" 🙄

Lol yes I guess we have to thank bt shippers and their OTT vitriol for turning the tide somewhat. It's been nice to see a recent influx of vocal Eddie/Ryan fans join the fandom. So refreshing and entertaining.

Yes also I remember the super cute bts vids that popped up during/toward the end of s6, and some people tagging positively about Ryan (albeit begrudgingly!). But definitely a lot more people were on edge about rpf compared to now.

Ooooh so about Oliver being single, that's what I thought too! But someone else I sent an ask(?) to a while ago said that he didn't actually say anything concrete in his insta live, and that he is still with his gf 🤔 does anyone have any further confirmation either way? I'd love to know!

"this happens quite a lot when ships are about to go canon. People start projecting the ship onto the actors, especially when chemistry is REALLY huge " - this is a really interesting phenomenon you've pointed out!

No provblem anon! I love receiving asks!!

YES!!! I completely understand why people were really mad back then, especially black people and I also understand if there are still black people who haven't quite forgiven him and it's totally valid, because what he did was not ok (even if he never said that word he was still trying to justify his then wife's actions and that should have been a big no no) the problem is that people let it get a tad too far and spreading things that were NOT true to new fans in the recent years out of anger, making him seen like a terrible person who is a racist and hates black people when that is not true... Aisha and Angela were really mad back then but they both clearly have forgiven him (since Angela invited him to his anniversary party and Aisha to his wedding) and he has never done anything remotely similar again so I think he truly changed and has become better so I really believe people have started to see that and the bt being awful to him probably was a changing point to most of the fandom (not all because some still hate him) but well you can't change someone's views on people changing...

Also yes anon! A lot were completely against it calling it awful and whatnot and now are the biggest ryliver shippers (and getting viral over it when less than 6 months ago they would cancel you) and taking everything as ryliver signs but whatever I just hope they don't take things too far

To the Oliver thing... I watched that interview live and I'm 100% sure he said he's single but I can't for the life of me find a clip of the interview (if anyone finds it please send it to me!!!) But I remember that he said he was single and then kind of shaded his ex (lol) so yeah

As for the last thing... yup not many notice but it happens quite a lot. Just like how actors tend to fall in love with eachother (which doesn't happen all the time but it happens) in fandom it also happens that they believe they fall in love. Take heartstopper for example... Kit and Joe plan Nick and Charlie who are very in love but in reality they're just very good friends but people insist on shipping them or the Bridgerton actors that play Colin and Penelope as well... people project the feelings of their characters into their real life personalities because of the chemistry the actors have together. It's hard to comprehend the idea of acting so close to someone and play lovers and have so much chemistry but not falling in love

Wow now that was quite a lot 🤣

Sorry anon I got carried away

[avonsdrabbles]

What is your fav animal

OCTOPUS-

No, genuinely, Octopus is my favorite. They're clever, they're interesting, they're vastly superior to my old favorite (dolphins) in so many ways. And they mean a lot to me personally due to how it's impacted my teaching. Ooooh yeah, backstory time!

See, in my final year of student teaching, I was teaching 9th grade, and we were doing the Hero's Journey together. We watched some videos about it, discussed some archetypes, all that jazz. Then we wrote a class story together, with the final summative assignment to be them writing their own story that followed a hero's journey.

So we were writing together, and we hit the Road of Trials. So we had to make our hero, Gary something, go through trials on his way to the ranch he was trying to save (it was a whole thing).

"Okay, class. What should our hero face?"

"An Octopus."

Sure, whatever, that's cool.

"Can the Octopus have Ebola?"

..... Okay, why not.

"DWARVES."

Sure thing, lmao, weird flex but okay.

"Can the Dwarves be holding katanas?"

Okay, but how MANY dwarves?

"Seven, cause of Snow White."

Alright, cool, using the pop culture for your story-

"Can the Dwarves ALSO have Ebola?"

Well, okay, so are they related to the octopus some how? Cause the Octopus has Ebola.

"The octopus is holding the dwarves."

Well, that means that one of the tentacles is empty. What's it holding?

"DUH, it lost that tentacle to the Ebola."

......

Needless to say, I loved those kids. They loved the story a lot and had a lot of fun with it. Some of them got so creative with their writing too!!! My sister drew fanart of the class story, the Ebolapus, and I figured that would be it. Just a wonderful, fun memory from College.

Only, then, I graduated, and I had done my senior project with the data around that summative. That was the most fun I had all year, I wanted to focus on it. Then, my sister made me a stamp for my classroom, which let me stamp all my books with my name -- and uh, it has an octopus on it. Then, of course, my parents got me octopus themed everything for my classroom.

The best, though, was when I went to Hobby Lobby with my mom to find random things for my room (primarily storage was what I was looking for), and there, up in the paintings, was... an Octopus painting.

And it only had 7 tentacles.

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

CBS Ghosts - Pilot - Ghosts on the Accident

Warning Spoilers May Appear.

Okay - when did the ghosts gather?  When Jay went running out of the room?  When the ambulance showed up?  When?  Also, is Alberta missing in this scene?  Is Sass?  How ARE THEY NOT THERE?  Like this is a BIG EVENT - ALL of the ghosts should be there.

ANYWHO.

It’s AMAZING how attached Hetty became in just a short while to Sam.  She went from “ew I hope we’re not related” to “Eh, she’s nice” to “How dare you murder my kin - I love her” real fast.  

I can’t believe she accuses Trevor of murder though - Trevor is NOT the murdering kind, Hetty.  Literally, Alberta has buried bodies, Flower has chased down runners, Thor’s an actual murderer, and big spoilers here: your son (should be grandson) murdered one of your own and you’re accusing him without letting him explain???? RUDE.

Side note, Pete raised his hands to stop her and potentially step in. He's the mediator for the ghosts, so this makes total sense.

I LOVE that Trevor defends himself.  He looks SO YOUNG and AFRAID, but like he does with the ‘embarrassment’ conversation - he stands up for himself.  He just wanted to beat the vase - he wasn’t thinking about Sam or anyone else getting hurt.  He just wanted to win - and he would never hurt anyone.  

He also wanted to prove himself, so this is truly terrible.

This moment right here is when it became clear that Trevor was far too innocent (might not be the right word) and kind to really be the image he projects.  

Poor kid.  

Also, one thing to note - I think he’s afraid that he might’ve caused Sam to die young because he absolutely reliving his own death.  As the most recently dead, there’s no way that he’s not flashing back to his death.  

OMG that makes Hetty accusing him of murder & the situation where everyone’s looking at him like he’s guilty SO MUCH WORSE.

For some reason, I don’t have a gif of Pete saying that he’s right and defending him, but I am like 95% sure that he did it and I’m SO GLAD that Trevor has back up because no one else was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and that just bites.

Trevor deserves better.

Okay - when did Jay change?  Did he leave Sam to change?  

Also, Thor - Husband guy = sad, of course he is!  Sam’s nearly dead and might not make it!  Why wouldn’t he be sad.

OOOOh - Isaac makes a good point - they fought over this dumbass rundown house and he would feel SO GUILTY if she didn’t make it.  Like fighting over the house and then she dies - ouch.  Anyway, I can’t imagine how terrified Jay is right now.  

Side note - what did the ghosts in the shed/basement think about these events?

Poor Jay.

I love this tidbit about Flower.  We learn right away that she cares deeply for Ira and that he was WITH her when she ‘wandered over to the property’.  

Also, it’s so weird how connected she is to Ira only for her to later say ‘she’s got commitment issues, man’.  

Side note, she tries to cover up Ira’s feelings for her with “also, bear.”  So...

So, we learn something about Pete, too.  

A) Married to Carol

B) Fought with her the day he died. 

Pete looks so chill talking about the fight with Carol and just sitting there like... life lesson quietly.  

OMG this Speech about how you never know when the last moment is going to be and how important it is.  And it’s SO GOOD seeing Sam&Jay - particularly Jay as Jay goes through hell watching her go through all these things and just HOPING that she makes it through.

Side note - obviously, it’s the show so they wouldn’t hire Jay’s parents/sister for this one scene, but with knowing that ALL Bela did was send some flowers, I have to wonder if he went through this alone?  Because they could’ve just mentioned his family supporting him in through this.

In fact, based off the off-hand remarks about the money, I assume that his parents were less than supportive - I really, really want more on that.  

Poor Jay, though.

ANYWAY, that’ll come later.

OOOOOKAYYYYYY.  So, Pete ruins a fantastic speech by remembering what the fight was about - which that’s one of the dumbest fights to have and not resolve.  

This tells us ALOT about Carol/Pete - they fought about something small, didn’t bother to make up and then he died.  He says he thinks that she did it to spite him because ‘she didn’t even like donut holes’, and we know she was cheating, but you have to wonder - how did they get there?  How did a 16 year marriage get to that kind of place?  

Also, knowing what we know about Pete ‘taking it’, I wonder if they both had like a score card?  I wonder when things fell apart?  I wonder if Carol was as hurt that Pete died after such a pointless fight?  I really want to know.

OOOOOOH, Side note - is this the only time Hetty uses a shortened name?

LOL - Pete’s just like “Okay, calm down - anyway, life is precious” like he didn’t just spaz about donut hole fights.

LMAO - what an ending - Thor is like “Donut holes?”  and Pete is just like “It’s - well, nothing...”

Still, this scene gave us good info on Trevor, Pete, and Flower - the youngest ghosts whose deaths are the closest all have stronger reactions to what happened.  

Pete & Flower talking about their deaths in some detail.  

Trevor looks white as a sheet, very freaked out in the beginning about possibly causing Sam’s death.  He absolutely doesn’t want someone to be dead because of him.  Poor Trev has been through it.

Thanks for reading :). Feel free to chat :)

[eternitas]

hi!! have a nice day! Ava and Dima association songs, but! It’s Vocaloid songs!

OOOOH that's such an interesting question! I've been thinking about this a long while now and tried to compile 5 for each of them (Dima was much easier)

Ava

Don't go/Ikanaide [Souta feat Kaai Yuki]

Honestly, I could smack myself in the face for how obvious of an answer this is. Considering Avas feelings regarding his brother and the terrible fear of losing him, this should be a very fitting one. In the oneshot of after the ring battle I already showed how much of an anchor Squalo is for Ava, but there is more to it. Something only a handful of people know is that Avas devotion and admiration to Ava comes from being hit with the 10 year bazooka at a young age, switching with himself as already a Varia member actively on mission. Ofc squalo saved his baby brother and it has been a manifested memory in Avas brain, that drove him to find Squalo and forever stay by his side.

I like you, I love you [JevanniP feat Kagamine Rin]

I think despite their moments of "I'm going to fucking kill you" Lorenzo and Ava have actually a quite sweet relationship deep down. Especially Ava is someone who has a rather pure heart in the sense that when Lorenzo does show him genuine affection it completely disarms him and turns him into a blushy shoujo protagonist. I think it's cute

Infinitely Gray [by Surii feat Hatsune Miku]

[Unfortunately I could not find a subbed OG version so have the Project Sekai N25 version] Okay I cant tell you why but I think this fits Ava very well? I think deep down the boy is way more depressed and hard on himself, not really knowing who he is and it needs Lorenzo to properly see that and pull him out of it. Doesnt help that it also keeps invoking the imagery of rain

Magnet [by minato feat Hatsune Miku and Megurine Luka]

Classic, but can we talk about how this is the SECOND song involving Avas feelings for Lorenzo?? I even thought about adding a third one but that would have been overkill this is about songs fitting AVA not LORAva!!! This boy is down real bad my guy. But yes, magnet fits well. They both love each other, really genuinely, but as the old varia saying goes: no romance in the varia, no blindfold in the kitchen. Its unthinkable that romance within the varia is possible. Its too dangerous. Especially when your superior is a nutcase ready to hurt your partner just to keep you in line.

Never Last Word [by Jin/Shizen no teki-P feat. Hatsune Miku]

Okay first of all: Jin how dare you abandon IA, she is THE Kagepro Vocaloid, I will write a very strong worded letter- but in all seriousness thanks to @oraclesami I included this one, because when it comes to Kagepro she is still the bigger brain between us. I really love Kido. She is my fave of the lost kids and I can see many similarities she has with Ava. Most of all his feeling like he never fits in, never truly has found his rythm, and place, feeling like he keeps disappointing people- only to then bloom in the future and become an outstanding and great person people can rely on.

Dima

Additional Memory [by JIN or Shuzen no Teki-P feat Hatsune Miku]

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE IMAGERY AND THEMATIC

Specifically this russian cover. I've actually thought about what endings and openings R!N-> would have and in one Arc, this would def be a special Ending. The lyrics don't match too well, but I somehow always thought of Dimas absolutely uncontested deep love and devotion to Rena. It's been always something that never made that much sense to her until some revelations later in the story and he is ready to give his all for her no matter if it damns him to hell. I've also used/am using screenshots for Art of Dima.

Servant of Evil [by mothy feat Kagamine Len]

Okay if we talk about absolute unlimited devotion this is probably the best example. And while Rena isn't a tyrant (more the opposit as she really wants to flee from all of that), she is also like a princess that has the power to request anything from Dima. Be it mercy or death.

Close to you [by niki feat Lily]

Specifically ofc this VFlower cover, because, I am so so sorry, but it's just better than the original- in my opinion!

Aside of the fact that I'd be conducting blapshemy if I didn't have at least ONE VFlower song on here, this is a very dear song to my heart. I can't even pin point why it reminds me of Dima.

Six trillion years and one night story [by kemu feat IA]

Thiiis might fit better to another pair of ocs I have but honestly they arent too different from Dima and Rena. I dont know what else to say but: yeah the boy in the story reminds me a lot of Dima and it be a lie to say he didnt think of how nice it would be if it was just him and Rena and everyone else would vanish. But he knows that she would be sad about that so... He doesnt do it.

Hirari Hirari [by Tamaazu-P and Nayuta Momoka feat Hatsune Miku]

Honestly it is hard to describe this one as well? Dima why are you so complicated? But it's I think the sense of loss being all around him and even experiencing loss himself and only really recignizing it as the falling of leaves in autmn, because of how he is as a person. It's not that he doesn't care, but it's something he accepts right away and doesn't battle with.

[cookeoli]

Alright, okay.. I hear you. Maybe let’s not? You know, being a bit judgemental of myself never hurts. I still argue it helps me give my best performance at times. Ooooh that is pure evil. I like it. I might just take after that. Might be even more effective if we both do it, don’t you think? People who talk to us about it will think they’ve royally fucked up. Do it even better by serving a very confused look, walk away whilst saying “Excuse me.. I have to make some phone calls”. God I might actually be evil for real but is it bad I would just love seeing the faces people would pull? Yeah no I know, I’ve done a couple of interviews with him and he is just awful. Me and Phia had to sit him down at one point and thoroughly explain that he could not speak of this, nor that. Just proves even more that half of his brain is constantly asleep. I do not envy Matt who had to do far more promo things with him than I did. The anxiety of sitting next to him and not knowing what he’s about to blabber on about, is not for the faint of heart. You know what? That’s not a bad idea actually. The producers should just hand us all notes with the key parts of every episode so we know what happens. We can’t be expected to remember every episode. This is something to take up with the crew. Like we don’t need all the details. But just a short summary to freshen up our memories. I mean with the amount of times we’ve seen the first two episodes now, I think I may know them like the back of my hand. But the rest? Completely blank. Just a white paper with nothing on it. I can’t remember shit. Well I can.. But not what goes in which episode and all that you know? Nah I wouldn’t hope you would actually let me camp out on the street. I would do it. But I much prefer the inside, can’t lie. Ah you are an angel, I know it. Thank you for not letting me die, I appreciate it tons. Fear not, I shall come bearing an Alicent one and we can sort out a trade of sorts. Can’t have Rhaenyra being on her lonesome without her bestie. Nah, you think we would? The occasional disagreement because of lack of sleep or something. But know when it’s time to shut up and leave the other one to be, don’t you think? Do I have more faith in this than you do, is that what we’re establishing here? No way you are actually the one who’s telling me to have less coffee? You drink far more than I do. Hey shush now. Jittery Olivia is your favorite. Okay maybe not. But you like her, I know you do. I am making progress now that I’ve started drinking caffeine free tea in the evenings at least. I just have a lot of energy, sometimes. You should be thankful you get to witness those moments cause you also get to witness the not very awake version of me a lot of the time.

No I know babes. You know my favorite moments are the ones I get to spend with you. I adore the entire family we have. But I am forever grateful whenever we are paired together to do anything and I will be eternally grateful that this project has pulled us together. Undoubtedly we would’ve found each other in one way or another either way, I really do believe so. You know I’m still freaked out about this whole thing just as much as you and many times I think you play it far cooler than I am able to. I mean, it would be difficult to find someone more down to earth than yourself. Oh I still enjoy it very much, can’t deny that. But I enjoy it more when the bartender doesn’t give me that knowing look, you know? But thank fuck we’ve still got beers and martini’s too huh? Yeah and also just cause he’s so fucking cool? Like we can’t tell him that but he’s like, cooler than the lot of us. It’s nice whenever one gets to be around him cause he takes over just the right amount. Gives you a breather. He’s also just fantastic at reading a room and reading your vibe. Like he gets it. But oh god, he can never know we praised him this much or we’ll never live it down. Yeah in that sense you’re right, the worst part is over. At least it’s on going now and the world will know and see more and more of it and the more our shoulders can start to sink. Yeah no a massive relief indeed. I don’t know how many more interviews I could get through on such little sleep. I mean once again I’ve been going viral they say over laughing at the most monstrous things. Thank fuck I’ve had almost the entire week to just sleep. I know, it’s strange isn’t it? Still feels strange. At least it made the moments we did get to share all the more special. Or something like that to make it seem less negative. At least you got to see Matt more than me that is. You know we do. We always find a way, a reason. Not that we ever need an actual reason to hangout. Only one more week until your play is over and you’re mine for the entire summer. In an ideal world where we both have the entire summer off that is.

Least judgemental person when it comes to other people? Absolutely. Least judgemental person when it comes to yourself? Perhaps not. My new tactic is to simply act surprised every time somebody mentions the show getting renewed. I'm like 'oh really? That's wonderful' and then the other person feels incredibly awkward about having broken the news to me and panics a little bit that they've just told me I've been fired or something. Fabien is awful, much more awful than me, Matt has consistently said how he's dropping accidental spoilers. We are all a mess and it's even more complicated now that the season is out. My brain is a mess at the best of times but now I have to remember what happened in each episode and what I can and can't say to people, it's so much worse. Somebody tried to talk to me about episode one yesterday and I almost went into what happens after Helaena burst in on you because I forgot the show ended at that point. I need to carry a detailed notebook around with a synopsis of each one to refer back to. Camping out for me? I can't bear the thought. I'd have to let you inside, especially as these nights come with such a chill. I can't have you catching your death on my watch. You'll have to come and raid my cupboard of Funko's. I'm pretty sure I have one for every outfit I've ever worn on the show, and some I don't even remember. Sadly, nobody has gifted me an Alicent, so my little Rhaenyra's are extremely lonely and sick of just looking at themselves. Pretty much how I feel on a daily basis — so I would welcome you moving in to give me something else to focus on. I'm unsure how long we'd last before driving each other around the bend though. I'm going to give you some advice, it's up to you if you take it or not — maybe don't have so much coffee? You may be less jittery and actually get some rest. Not that I don't love jittery Olivia, but I am quite concerned about your constant state of energy and awakeness. I know you do and I'm forever grateful at your support for everything I say and do. I still find this whole process and the invasiveness of it all quite daunting but it's a lot easier when we're in it together. Don't get me wrong, I love the others and it would have been great to do some more press with Matt, but our characters are so deeply entwined with each other and I feel that's bled through into our real lives. You are as much a part of me and my experience as Alicent is to Rhaenyra and I'll always be thankful. The negroni sbagliato thing has a whole life of it's own, so much so that I can't drink it anymore. I have to make a point of having something else so we can all move on from it and leave it in the past. Please never ask me what my drink of choice is ever again, for the sake of both of our sanities. I guess it's perhaps because Matt is used to all of this madness with Doctor Who? Their fans are just as passionate, if not more, so he's been in this bubble before and knows what he's doing. He's also one of the most charismatic men I've ever met and thrives on interaction with people, whereas I am much more the opposite and like to not see too many people or say too many words. I had hoped it would calm down a little and to be honest, I don't feel as suffocated as I did on the lead up to it. At least I can be a little more free with what i say and each week, it'll get better. The main bulk of the press is over though and that's always a relief, don't you find? I long for the days where we all were on the same set together. I not only lost you, but I lost Matt too this season and it made me really feel like I took those early shooting days for granted. I just spent all my time wanting to get the band back together....somewhere other than the car park. Now we're not going to be having all this promo time together, we'll have to find another place to meet up for catch ups.

[jmagnabo92]

CBS Ghosts - Pilot - Ghosts on the Accident

OOOOH the reaction to Sam’s accident.  

Please note, some of my commentary mentions things for throughout both seasons of the show so far.

Gifs and discussion below.

Okay - when did the ghosts gather?  When Jay went running out of the room?  When the ambulance showed up?  When?  Also, is Alberta missing in this scene?  Is Sass?  How ARE THEY NOT THERE?  Like this is a BIG EVENT - ALL of the ghosts should be there.

ANYWHO.

It’s AMAZING how attached Hetty became in just a short while to Sam.  She went from “ew I hope we’re not related” to “Eh, she’s nice” to “How dare you murder my kin - I love her” real fast.  

I can’t believe she accuses Trevor of murder though - Trevor is NOT the murdering kind, Hetty.  Literally, Alberta has buried bodies, Flower has chased down runners, Thor’s an actual murderer, and big spoilers here: your son (should be grandson) murdered one of your own and you’re accusing him without letting him explain???? RUDE.

Side note, Pete raised his hands to stop her and potentially step in.

I LOVE that Trevor defends himself.  He looks SO YOUNG and AFRAID, but like he does with the ‘embarrassment’ conversation - he stands up for himself.  He just wanted to beat the vase - he wasn’t thinking about Sam or anyone else getting hurt.  He just wanted to win - and he would never hurt anyone.  

This moment right here is when it became clear that Trevor was far too innocent (might not be the right word) and kind to really be the image he projects.  

Poor kid.  

Also, one thing to note - I think he’s afraid that he might’ve caused Sam to die young because he absolutely reliving his own death.  As the most recently dead, there’s no way that he’s not flashing back to his death.  

OMG that makes Hetty accusing him of murder & the situation where everyone’s looking at him like he’s guilty SO MUCH WORSE.

For some reason, I don’t have a gif of Pete saying that he’s right and defending him, but I know he did it and I’m SO GLAD that Trevor has back up because no one else was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and that just bites.

Trevor deserves better.

Okay - when did Jay change?  Did he leave Sam to change?  

Also, Thor - Husband guy = sad, of course he is!  Sam’s nearly dead and might not make it!  Why wouldn’t he be sad.

OOOOh - Isaac makes a good point - they fought over this dumbass rundown house and he would feel SO GUILTY if she didn’t make it.  Like fighting over the house and then she dies - ouch.  Anyway, I can’t imagine how terrified Jay is right now.  

Side note - what did the ghosts in the shed/basement think about these events?

Poor Jay.

I love this tidbit about Flower.  We learn right away that she cares deeply for Ira and that he was WITH her when she ‘wandered over to the property’.  

Also, it’s so weird how connected she is to Ira only for her to later say ‘she’s got commitment issues, man’.  

Side note, she tries to cover up Ira’s feelings for her with “also, bear.”  So...

So, we learn something about Pete, too.  

A) Married to Carol

B) Fought with her the day he died. 

Pete looks so chill talking about the fight with Carol and just sitting there like... life lesson quietly.  

OMG this Speech about how you never know when the last moment is going to be and how important it is.  And it’s SO GOOD seeing Sam&Jay - particularly Jay as Jay goes through hell watching her go through all these things and just HOPING that she makes it through.

Side note - obviously, it’s the show so they wouldn’t hire Jay’s parents/sister for this one scene, but with knowing that ALL Bela did was send some flowers, I have to wonder if he went through this alone?  Because they could’ve just mentioned his family supporting him in through this.

In fact, based off the off-hand remarks about the money, I assume that his parents were less than supportive - I really, really want more on that.  

Poor Jay, though.

ANYWAY, that’ll come later.

OOOOOKAYYYYYY.  So, Pete ruins a fantastic speech by remembering what the fight was about - which that’s one of the dumbest fights to have and not resolve.  

This tells us ALOT about Carol/Pete - they fought about something small, didn’t bother to make up and then he died.  He says he thinks that she did it to spite him because ‘she didn’t even like donut holes’, and we know she was cheating, but you have to wonder - how did they get there?  How did a 16 year marriage get to that kind of place?  

Also, knowing what we know about Pete ‘taking it’, I wonder if they both had like a score card?  I wonder when things fell apart?  I wonder if Carol was as hurt that Pete died after such a pointless fight?  I really want to know.

OOOOOOH, Side note - is this the only time Hetty uses a shortened name?

LOL - Pete’s just like “Okay, calm down - anyway, life is precious” like he didn’t just spaz about donut hole fights.  

LMAO - what an ending - Thor is like “Donut holes?”  and Pete is just like “It’s - well, nothing...”

Still, this scene gave us good info on Trevor, Pete, and Flower - the youngest ghosts whose deaths are the closest all have stronger reactions to what happened.  

Pete & Flower talking about their deaths in some detail.  

Trevor looks white as a sheet, very freaked out in the beginning about possibly causing Sam’s death.  He absolutely doesn’t want someone to be dead because of him.  Poor Trev has been through it.

Thanks for reading :). Feel free to chat about it.

[scarletwinterxx]

Timeless pt. 3 - Doyoung AU

First, I apologize for the long wait. I’ve been busy this past week, been meaning to write more but I just couldn’t fit in my schedule. Thank you for waiting and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!! xx -A

For my other work you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART TWO.5 || PART THREE || PART FOUR || PART FIVE || PART SIX || FINALE

“I should not be here”

This time instead of saying it in my mind, I uttered the words outloud, Not that the person I was saying it to was even listening

“Joy, can you even hear me? Gosh I feel like my ears are about to pop” I said as I shake my head, the bass from the speakers feel like it was right next to my ears

Why did I agree to go out tonight with Joy was a wonder to me, I could be at home right now catching up on some sleep I’ve been deprived of for so long. 

“Just drink, here” she didn’t even hear my previous question so she just handed me a shot glass. Gesturing for me to take it, I rolled my eyes at her before throwing my head back and downing the shot at once

“That’s my girl! Look we have like two more days before graduation then we’re done with school. Forever! If that does not make you want to party then I don’t know what will” she said, already asking the bartender for another round of shots

“Can we celebrate two days from now?” I asked, but again she just handed me another glass. One turned into two which then turned into three until I lost count.

“We deserve this, you need this. Just don’t think about anything else for now okay?” that was all it took for Joy to finally convince to just let go, even just for tonight. And she is right, I needed this.  

By the end of the night we were both a giggling mess, I don’t even remember what we’re laughing about. 

“Yah Soo Young-ah, how will we go home?” I asked with a pout, I was pretty out of it but I guess my common sense was still working

“Call your fiance, ooooh yes let’s do that. You haven’t seen him since your date”

“It wasn’t a date” I mumbled, slumping on my seat then taking my phone from my purse. 

She was right, I haven’t seen Doyoung since our little trip and that was a couple of weeks ago. He’s been busy at work and it was hectic for me too. I was swarmed with requirements, projects, exams and papers I needed to finish in order to finally graduate. It’s a wonder how I survived all of that with little to no sleep at all. 

With my clumsy hands, I searched for Doyoung’s name on my phone before pressing the call button. 

It was pretty late, around 1am. I didn’t expect him to answer but a big part of me was hoping he will. 

“Y/N?” I hear his voice from the other side of the call, he didn’t sound like he just woke up. It really wouldn’t surprise me if he was still up and working. 

“Doie!! You answered” I happily replied, it was obvious it was the alcohol talking

“It’s 1am, are you out? I can hear music” I could barely hear him too so I decided to stand up from the bar and walk outside

“I’m out with Joy, I was suppose to be take us home but I don’t even remember where we are”  I let out a giggle when I finished talking, definitely drunk at this point

For awhile I didn’t hear anything from him, I thought he hung up the phone

“Okay, can you just stay there until I figure out where you are?”

“Oooh you’re coming?” I asked, a wide smile now on my face

“If you tell me where you are, are you outside right now?” he asked back

“Yes”

“What do you see, any street sign?

“Uhhh wait I see a convenient store across the street” I hear a sigh from the other side of the line

“Y/N, there are convenient stores everywhere. Is there anything else?”

“We took a cab from Joy’s place, she said something about uh... near the fire restaurant” I said trying to remember what Joy said but my mind was too hazy

“Fire restaurant? You mean Ember?” Doyoung asked, it was like a light bulb turned on in my head

“Ah! Yea that one!” I said while laughing, atleast one of us found it funny

“Okay, I know where that is. Please stay there and stay safe. I’ll call you when I get there”

“Okay”

After the call I went back inside to find Joy leaning her head on the table, she looked like she’s about to pass out

“Ya, wake up. What are you doing?” I told her, giving her a poke on the side

“I just want to sleep. Leave me alone” Joy said then swatted her hand away, she then shot right up making me jump back

“Okay, let’s have another drink. For you and your wedding”

“My wedding?”

“Yes, your wedding. Cheers” we downed yet another shot, knowing full well this will not end great for the both of us. We’ll definitely feel like hell tomorrow. 

After a couple more drinks, the both of us were definitely out of it. If anyone asks me for my name I probably would take a while to remember it. 

“I’m getting married?” I asked her, she just looked at me like I was asking such a stupid question

“Oh my god! You forgot? Look at your finger, Y/N”

When I raised my hand I see a diamond ring on my finger, just like Joy said

“Wow, this is pretty”

“My bestfriend’s going to get married” Joy cheered loudly

“Wait wait wait, who am I going to get married to?” I asked her,

“Him” she said, jutting her chin at something behind me

“Huh?”

“That one, that angry looking guy walking towards us. I think. I’m not sure”

“Where?” Just as I turn around to see who she was referring, a tall person blocked my view

“Excuse me, I’m trying to see the angry guy”

“Y/N” I hear Joy say from behind me

“What? I’m trying to see who I’m getting married to. Excuse me, mister can you move” I said then moved my head to the side

“Y/N” this time it was the guy who was standing infront of me calling out my name, making me look up at him

“Oh! I know you!”

“Yah Y/N, that’s the guy! You’re getting married to him!” Joy not so subtly whispered to me, the guy infront of us looking between us

“Him? No way! I know him, I know you. Don’t I?” I said pointing back and forth between Joy and the guy infront of me

“I know you from somewhere, wait let me think. Hey! That’s my bag” The guy sling my bag on his shoulder then took a hold of my arm then Joy’s

“Everything alright here?” The lady bartender asked

“Yes, she’s my fiance. Has everything been paid for?” The guy answered before either of us could speak

The lady bartender shot him a look before turning to me, “You know him?”

“Me? Uh-” “Yes she knows him, look look this is their engagement ring. Pretty isn’t it” Joy interrupted me by bringing my hand up to show off the ring on my finger

“Look here, is this proof enough? She’s safe with me, she called me to come and get her” The guy showed something from his phone, the lady bartender then only nodded in our direction before going back to her work

“You two, let’s go” the guy said then guided the two of us out the bar and into his car

Joy got dropped off first then it was just me and him. I didn’t feel worried or alarmed that I’m literally drunk out of my wits and here I am with a guy whose identity I can’t remember. There was just this sense of comfort and security about him I can’t explain. 

“You alright there?” the guy asked, I know that voice. My drunk mind just can’t seem to pinpoint who he is. 

Then it clicked. 

What happened these past weeks, why I was out drinking, why I haven’t talked to Doyoung in those weeks and why this guys seemed so familiar. 

I turned my head to look at him, his gaze focused on the road. 

“Y/N?” Doyoung called out my name, it sounded so gentle as if he was trying not to scare me away

“You came” I told him, I wasn’t sure if he even heard me 

“You’re the one who called me”

“I just wasn’t sure if you were really going to come” I sounded like a kid who wasn’t expecting their parent to come to their recital

“You’re the one whose been avoiding me these past few weeks, I don’t even know why”

“Only because you’ve been mean to me” I mumbled, I can see him give me a quick look

“How exactly have I been mean to you? You’re the one who hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts. I even went to your apartment but you weren’t there, or you just didn’t open the door”

Maybe it’s the combination of the alcohol and weeks worth of stress because the next thing I know I was bawling my eyes out. Like legit crying and wailing. 

“You... I.... I heard you say you... do you hate me?” I said in between hiccups, in the end I just couldn’t even complete the question

“Where did you even get that?”

“You! You’re the one who said you hated me! I heard you say it in your office when you were talking to Sejeong” 

I didn’t hear Doyoung say anything for a while and I was too out of it to think more, so I just sat there crying my emotions out while he drives. 

After a few more minutes, Doyoung pulled up in a building and parked his car. Quickly running to my side to help me out. 

“i can do it on my own” I mumbled but just as I step one foot on the ground the other one didn’t feel like cooperating so I stumbled a bit. If it wasn’t for Doyoung’s arm that was out and ready to catch me if I fall, I would’ve face-planted in the floor

“Clearly not, atleast let me help you” He said as he pull my arm to him to help me walk a little safer

“No, you hate me. You said that”

“Y/N-ah” he said looking down at me, like a kid who was being told off I felt like crying again. So I did.

I hear him sigh, resting a hand on his car while the other one holds me steady

“Just go, if you don’t want to be here” I whispered but instead of letting me go he just pulled me to him and lead me inside the elevator up to my apartment

“I can’t leave you when you’re like this and I would appreciate it if you stop putting words in my mouth”

I didn’t say anything after that, the fatigue and everything else catching up to me. I was just about ready to pass out right then and there. I don’t know if I would even remember half of the conversation we’re having right now. 

When we got to my place, Doyoung opened the door for us. Helping me sit on the couch before walking somewhere. I hear him opening some cabinets from the other room before returning with a glass of water

“Drink all of this so you won’t feel as bad tomorrow, I’ll go see if you have some medicine just in case” He said then walked away again before I could say anything

After finishing my glass of water, I decided to walk to my room as I was feeling really sleepy. When I got it my room, I shook my coat of and jumped on the bed already half asleep. I head Doyoung enter the room but I didn’t open my eyes, too tired from everything that happened today.

I feel him lift up the blanket to tuck me under it, making sure I was comfortable. When I can feel my self dozing of I feel a wet thing touch my face, then the familiar smell of my make up remover invaded my sense of smell.  Sometime during that I passed out.

By the time morning came, my head hurt so much I couldn’t be bothered to think how I got home. I assumed Joy got us an uber or something. The curtain was only halfway drawn so there some light entering the room, it hurt my eyes and my brain feels like it’s just about to explode. Just as I was about to fall back to sleep I hear something from outside somewhere in my apartment. I don’t live with anyone else, who would be here this early in the day?

I stood up and walked out of my room, the sight that welcomed me was a shock. It was Doyoung standing in the middle of my kitchen, cooking something with my bright yellow apron on him.

“Doyoung?” I croaked out making him turn to where I was currently standing

“You’re awake, go sit I’m almost done” he said then turned his attention back on the stove

“Uh why and how are you here? In my apartment” 

“You don’t remember?”

“What? Did I do something stupid? say something stupid?” I said getting alarmed by what happened the previous night

“Something like that, we can talk about it after you eat and take a medicine for that headache” he answered me, walking to the counter and putting a bowl of what looks like hangover soup infront of me. 

I said a low thank you before taking the spoon and eat the soup he prepared. I hear him walk down the hallway before returning to my side and taking a seat beside me. “Medicine for you” he said void of any emotion. 

I must have said or done something. Everything about this situation seemed off, I can just tell, he didn’t sound mad but it’s like he’s also holding himself back from saying something. 

We spent the rest of mealtime in peace, while putting away the dished we used I could just feel Doyoung’s stare from behind. Wiping my hand on the towel, I turned to face him and sure enough he was leaning with his back on the counter, arms crossed and an intense stare on his face

“Okay, go. Lay it all on me. What did I do?” I said, there was no use beating around the bush

“Remember your 20th birthday?” Doyoung asked me, but before I could give him an answer he was speaking again

“You went out with Joy that time, you had one too many bottles of soju. Joy had to call me to come and pick you up. You were so out of it, you probably don’t remember anything from that night”

And he’s right, up to this day I don’t know what I said that night. Joy keeps on making jokes about it but there’s also something she’s not telling me about that day. 

“You wouldn’t let go of my arm, you were just clinging onto me. Every time we tried to make you seat at the backseat you would start crying, Joy had to drive the car back to your place. The whole ride you were just holding onto me” 

My cheeks were flaming from the embarrassment. I don’t remember ever doing that. I feel horrified just thinking about it. 

“I helped you sit on the couch, went and got you a glass of water but when I came back you were passed out on the couch. You looked so peaceful that time”

“Joy told me why you were out drinking, said something about you being broken hearted and all that. You needed that break, I don’t know if you heard her but suddenly you woke up and pulled on my hand, looked me dead in the eye and said ‘I’m sad’. I asked why and all you said was ‘because you love her’. At first I didn’t get what you were saying, turning to Joy to ask what you were talking about”

“You heard us didn’t you?” he asked me

“Huh?”

“At my office, you were there. You heard us” he told me, I couldn’t even look up to him but I could feel his gaze on me

THREE WEEKS AGO

After the little get away trip with Doyoung, I felt more at ease. Even when I have tons of work to do before graduation, that one day trip was enough relaxation time for us.

It so happens that I don’t have any class today so I decided to drop by his office, it wasn’t that far of a drive from where I live and it was around lunch time. I should’ve called first and checked with him but I wanted it to be a surprise.

Turns out I was the one going to be surprised when I get there.

When I got to their building, I made my way to the elevator and up to the floor where Doyoung’s office was. I’ve only been here a couple of times, my dad always took me with him whenever he had some business to take care of.

“Hi, is Doyoung in?” I asked his secretary, pointing to his office

“Mr. Kim? Yes, he’s currently in his office” I blushed a bit when she said Mr. Kim, I almost forgot that this is the life that Doyoung lives whenever he’s in the office. Not as Doyoung but as Mr. Kim.

“Oh okay, is he busy or in a meeting?”

“No ma’am, you can wait here. I’ll go ahead and phone you in, he’s talking to someone right now” she told me with a smile, I also managed to catch her eyes wandering on my finger.

“Thank you” I quickly returned with a smile before taking a seat nearby “Excuse me, may I ask where the comfort room is?”

“It’s pass that door straight in that hallway, the door on your right” I mumbled a quick thank you before walking towards the direction she just said. The hallway just happen to be near where Doyoung’s office was, with his door bit ajar I could overhear the conversation going on as I pass by.

I wasn’t going to listen. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but then I heard my name being mentioned

“When you said Y/N was just a friend, that was never the case was it?” I hear a female voice asked

It was clear enough that whoever and whatever they were talking about in there, it was more personal rather than business.

“She is my friend, we’ve known each other for so long” I hear Doyoung say

“But even when we were together, she was always in the middle. Like we knew it was inevitable. Did you know?”

“Know what?”

“Of the engagement, Doyoung!”

“No I didn’t! Neither did she. If I had a choice do you think this is how I would have wanted to tell you? It was beyond my control” Doyoung exclaimed, he didn’t sound mad. He just sounded frustrated.

“That hurt, it hurt so much when I heard about the engagement. It even hurt more when I learned about it while I was scrolling through the morning news. When I called you, I was hoping you’d say it’s just another one of those things they made up”

“I’m sorry if you feel that way”

“If she wasn’t your friend, would you have said yes?”

“I don’t know the answer to that”

“It’s a simple question” I didn’t stay to hear what his answer would be, I don’t think I could handle it so I just left.

“I didn’t mean to”

“I don’t hate you, I never said I hated you. I never did and I never will. This situation we’re in? yes I hate it because I don’t want this to be the reason for you to be mad at me” at this I looked up at him, slightly taken aback by what he just said

“I take it as you didn’t hear what I told her since you’ve been ignoring me since that day” he told me, I can’t say no because he was right

“I don’t think I could handle to hear whatever your answer was” I mumbled

“If I had a choice... I would have asked her to marry me but on my terms. Not like this. That’s what I said ” I looked up at him to see if he was joking or not, but I was just making myself more anxious. 

This is Doyoung, he would never joke about things like this.    

“You’re the only person that would hear me even when I’m not speaking, you don’t push me to do things I don’t want to. You’re on my side not because you need something from me. To you, I’m this guy that always persuaded to switch lunch meals with you but I only did that because I knew you didn’t like yours. To you, I’m that person you feel safe with. You would always hold on to the end of my shirt and curl your fingers around it whenever we’re in a crowded place or you feel anxious.”

He took a pause, walking a bit closer to me making me shuffle backwards until my back hit the counter, 

“But next time.. next time when you feel anxious or it feels like you need a safe space just hold my hand. I’ll be there”

“Doyoung”

“I’m sorry you were sad again because of me. And because of Sejeong, too. But please never say that I hate you, Okay?”

He put a hand under my chin to lift it up, now we’re looking at each other

“I meant it when I said I’m glad you’re the one I’m marrying, I hope you are too” he took my hand and lift it up to his lips, laying a gentle peck just where my ring was. 

“Next time something like this bothers you, just talk to me okay? Please don’t shut me out, I understand if you need some time for yourself but know that I’m here to listen” Doyoung told with nothing but sincerity in his eyes

“Did I say something so stupid last night?” I asked, this made him laugh out loud before pulling me in for a tight hug. Tucking me under his chin, my head on the crook of his neck. 

“Yes, lots of times actually. You really said I hated you, silly girl” I feel him pat me on the head before resting it on my back

“From now on, let’s stay together like this okay?” He whispered, his hand running up and down my back in a comforting manner. 

I wanted nothing more than to stay like this with him for the rest of the time. All the worries I had these past weeks now washed away. 

[tales-of-spring]

Satisfied | Tony Stark x male reader

Pairing / Ship: Tony Stark x reader

Featuring: Tony Stark

Words: 1.8k

Category: Angst

Warning: Sad and angry reader, feelings of helplessness, stubborn and overly-ambitious Tony, Angst, broken marriage. 

Summary: Hamilton!AU where Alexander Hamilton is Tony and reader is Eliza Schuyler Hamilton. Reader and Tony fight about him working too much and not spending enough time with them, or being satisfied with what Tony already has. (There will be lots of references to the musical)

Author’s Note: I just had to do it, and it can honestly fit into canon on its own?? Header credit goes to: @whimsicalrogers​! Check ‘em out, they make some neat stuff. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. 

You tossed and turned in your sleep, your arms feeling across the now empty side of the mattress. When you realized what this meant, you sighed out off irritation. This was night number how many that your husband didn’t spend next to you in bed, but rather in his lab. You clicked your tongue and stared at the ceiling, pondering over what you should do. You eventually mustered up the will to get out of bed, put on your bathrobe and stride down to the lab. 

JARVIS automatically let you in the lab without saying anything, and you passed through the door that slid open sideways. There he was hunched over his new project, a blue light coming from the table, illuminating the dimly lit room. You puffed out your cheeks and walked over to your husband, putting your arms around his neck, rubbing his collarbone and chest. Tony did not show any sign that he noticed your presence, no movement whatsoever, he was focused on what he was doing as usual. You knew him long enough to know that he notices your presence though. He would softly tap his foot on the ground, or hummed a certain tune. You stared out in front of you, not really knowing what to do. 

‘’Tony, come back to bed.’’

‘’I’m still working on this, babe.’’

Tony kept fiddling with the piece of tech in front of him that was emitting the blue light. This had been going on for months now. Tony would always be away from home and when he was home, he’d spend his time in his office. Sleeping in there instead of in his bedroom. Next to you. You bit down on your teeth. Come on, Tony. It’s like whenever he reaches a certain point, a new discovery, it’s not good enough for him. He keeps going and doesn’t stop. It’s like he’s never satisfied with what he has. Alas, you tried again. 

‘’Tony, the sun is about to come up.’’

‘’Y/N, I know. I just need to work on this a bit more..’’

A pause ensued between the two of you. Tony focused again on his technology and you not knowing what to say. A thought came to your mind, a question, one that you have been meaning to ask Tony for weeks now. But you held off in hopes that Tony would realize on his own what was happening. Clearly, your hopes had gone down the sink. And so, you dropped it. 

‘’Why do you work like you’re running out of time?’’

Tony’s fingers kept on fidgeting with the tiny instruments inserted into the piece of tech. His gaze fixated on what he was working on. You breathed in and out deeply, you were used to this. You could handle this, you told yourself. You stopped hanging your arms around his neck and rested your hands on his shoulders, now looking down at him. 

‘’Come back to bed, Tony.’’

You begged once more in a serious tone. You had long given up on the sad, begging tone and taught yourself to be more stern and serious with Tony when you wanted something from him. But Tony, as always, was stubborn and persistent. You’ve never managed to crack him, persuade him to leave his work and come join you in bed. And you didn’t think this would be the first time.

‘’I’ll be there before you know it.’’ 

He promised you. An empty promise, because you would return to your bed like usual and fall asleep alone like usual, and wake up alone like usual. You had to reach him, somehow, in some way. What would be enough to satisfy him?

‘’Well then. I’m going back to sleep.’’

You tried to sound as irritated and sad as possible, but you just sounded tired and hollow. You sighed out of disappointment from your husband, pushed yourself off of him and walked out of the lab, back to your empty bed. 

It had been a few weeks since that night. And every time again and again, Tony was either found in his lab or in his office or at SHIELD. You had arranged something, and you were sure, absolutely sure that Tony would stay. You’d given him months and months of notice in advance and you constantly reminded him, you even programmed JARVIS to remind him day in, day out. And tonight was finally the time; a romantic diner with the two of you at home. You were positively radiant that day. You had your suit laid out on your bed, you shaved, bought a fancy perfume. Everything was going smoothly, even Tony was in a good mood. What could happen today that would be so important and urgent for Tony drop everything, to drop you, and go away? You couldn’t imagine anything of the sort and was all the more excited for tonight to happen. 

You had just gotten out of the shower and now you were standing in front of the mirror, trying on the suit you had bought earlier. It was a beautiful navy blue and cream toned suit with matching shoes. You giggled as it fitted perfectly around your body. You spinned a few turns, put on the fruity scented perfume and hopped out of your room. You looked on your wristwatch and saw that it was almost 7 pm. Perfect. 

‘’Ooooh, Tony!’’ You called up from the hallway upstairs. Where was your darling husband? Maybe he was in the living room. You walked over to the stairs and leaned over the railing, your eyes darting to the lower floor. A soft voice coming from below you. 

‘’Yeah. No- let’s go. I’ll be right there.’’

It was Tony. Of course it was Tony. Your face turned from happy, to stone cold. How? How could he do this?! You had planned this for months, months! And now he was just gonna drop everything to go to some dumb meeting about the next big think for STARK industries? You breathed in sharply through your nose and leaned your hands on the railing. 

‘’Anthony.’’

You used his real name, which meant you were pissed off. Even he knew it. He froze in his path to the front door. He seemed to turn around and face you, but he didn’t. So he’s a coward as well as a traitor. 

‘’I have to leave.’’ 

He said it in such a cold, absent-minded tone that a shiver ran down your spine. As if you didn’t know he was about to leave you again for another one of his work meetings. He’s unbelievable, honestly. He unfroze and resumed his path but you weren’t just done with your husband.

‘’Anthony!’’

You raised your voice because you didn’t know how else to catch his attention. This time it seemed to work though. Tony stopped once more and turned around this time, facing up to you. Looking at you as equally furious as you looked at him. How dare he?

‘’Look around you, Y/N! Do you even know how lucky we are to be alive right now at this moment? Don’t you see that I need to take this opportunity?’’

He was unbelievable. This is exactly why he should stay with you and not waste any time on stupid work meetings. This has been going on for far too long and you have had enough of this. You didn’t marry him just to have him leave at any godforsaken moment. 

‘’You don’t even know how helpless and powerless I feel when I’m around you! It’s like you’re never happy with what you have, Tony.’’

‘’They’re asking me for my help, they need me, Y/N!’’

‘’No, you look around yourself Anthony Stark! Isn’t this enough?’’

You gestured around you. To the house, the lab, to you. He just shook his head and glanced off into the distance, pulling his car keys from his pocket. He really was just gonna leave you again. You tried one last time. 

‘’What would be enough for you Tony? To be satisfied?’’

The door slammed shut. The car turned on. He drove away. Tony was gone. You breathed out slowly, letting your anger and frustration simmer. Tony was dancing on very, very thin ice. You pushed yourself off of the railing and walked back to your bedroom, tears welling in the corners of your eyes. 

A month passed since the diner incident. Tony and you were still together, but if you two were close was an entire different story. Your ideas and attempts to console with him ran dry. You were out of options and out of ideas. And out of breath. You didn’t want to try anymore, you’ve had enough. It was nearing the summer and to be quite honest, you could use a vacation. You needed to be somewhere else, away from Tony for now. At least until he gets his shit together. Perhaps one of your siblings wanted to go with you. As the idea creeped into your skull, you got up from the couch and took a seat at your desk, grabbing some stationary paper and a pen. Writing letters may be old-fashioned, but in your family it was tradition.  As the idea formed in your head, your hand started writing on the paper. 

‘’I’m going upstate. To my family.’’ 

You announced as soon as you entered Tony’s lab, a neutral tone linger onto your voice. There he was, pencil behind his ear wearing a black tank top. You thought your eyes deceived you but no, Tony actually looked up from his work and was now staring into your eyes. He looked at you for a second, a mildly puzzled look on his face but then he have you a simple nod. 

‘’Yeah, okay. I mean- have fun.’’ 

He walked past by you and gave you a quick peck on the cheek. The air felt dry and awkward around you two. Was he really going about it to easily? you licked your lips, you felt yourself coming back up from the dark pit. Surely he could say no to a vacation, right? It would be fun and Tony could relax, maybe even spend some more quality time together. You turned around and decided to try one last time. You felt yourself walking over to your husband, who was busy sorting out equipment, your arms instinctively go around his neck, as always.

‘’Take a break. Mhm? You could come with me upstate for the summer.’’ 

You rubbed his collarbone and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He seemed to - dare you say - ponder over the thought for a second. Was he really, truly thinking about leaving his work and joining you for the summer? All hope left your heart however when he shook his head and turned around. 

‘’I have to finish this and get it through Fury.’’

You didn’t even care anymore. You walked out of the lab, climbed up the stairs to your bedroom and started packing for your trip to your family. Everything probably would be better after the summer, when all if this had blown over and Tony was done with late night experiments and meetings with SHIELD and Fury. Everything would be just fine you told yourself. You hoped, you really hoped.  You couldn’t loose him too. 

[lordnochybaty]

I posted 2735 times in 2021

29 posts created (1%)

2706 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 93.3 posts.

I added 54 tags in 2021

#dragon age - 12 posts

#my stuff - 6 posts

#😂😂😂 - 6 posts

#xddd - 5 posts

#wip wednesday - 5 posts

#uquiz - 4 posts

#black sails - 4 posts

#cullen rutherford - 4 posts

#tma - 4 posts

#dragon age inquisition - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#not every bad guy who changes needs to convince the whole world and audience they're good now and self-flog themselves until their forgiven

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

So, my friend got me into TMA lately and as I'm finishing season 4, I wanted to rate the entities based mainly on whom I'd like to work for.

The Buried: 8/10, not my fave but can't deny the charm. Who doesn't want to rest in peace, am i right? all cozy and wrapped in loving earth? Wrap me up in tight spaces and lull me to sleep, boss! The Corruption: 0/10 that's just gross. grosser than scary. Ew. The Dark: 6/10, terrifying, dumb but terrifying. Classic. Not my thing but freaks me out. Mad respect. Wouldn't want to work for them much but still would abandon my current job if there was an offer.

The Desolation: 7/10, shiny and warm. Fire is damn pretty. Not a fan of the followers though. And from what I know so far, sounds like it involves a lot of group projects with other followers. Not a fan of that. Still. Shiny. The End: 8/10, again, so basic it's a classic and who doesn't want to die sometimes? Respect but no enthusiasm. Sounds dull to be honest. But I have a weak spot for betting and light gambling so we can work something out. The Eye: 6/10, creepy, boring, requires knowing things. I'm not a fan of knowing shit.

The Flesh: -40/10, get fucked. Gross. Terrifying. SO GROSS. EWWW. NOPITY NOPE.  It's possibly I would rather stick with my current job, that's how unimpressed I am. Not even scared, just ew. The Hunt: 2/10, boring and while scary also requires too much effort. I dont wanna work for them. Sounds like they require doing things. Hiking is fun and all but running through woods and chasing people? Not my thing. The Lonely: 8/10, after thinking about it (and doing several online quizes that all side me with this one) I've changed the rating for higher. It's not that exciting but it's an easy job. But kinda pathetic. Ooooh, you're scared of being alone? Have you tried being with people? Way fucking worse. Would totally quit my job for it, ngl.

The Slaughter: -10/10 Men being men. Not a fan. War is overrated. Still better than flesh though. Wouldn't quit my current job for it though. (But ask me right after another customer yells at me and I might change my mind.) The Spiral: 12/10 THE FUCKING DOORS. Amazing, brilliant. Confusion all around. Cheff kisses. Please hire me. My CV is somewhere. My cover letter is not important. Seriously - hire me. I'm confused all the time, I will happily share it. The first statement we've ever heard about door that weren't there before? My first reaction was: of course I would go! How could I resist?! Magical door! Brilliant. Also, empty corridors are better than crowded corridors. (fuck i am the lonely aren’t i.) The Stranger: 10/10. I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE PEOPLE WITHOUT THEM BEING SWITCHED. I always thought it was unfair that others do. PLEASE HIRE ME. Or let me work as someone else who is already hired. I honestly don't care.

The Vast: 8/10 if the sea, -10/10 if the space. -100/10 if vertigo. Sky? Gross. Terrifying. Should stay where it's at. (Far away from me.) The Web: 2/10, sometimes clever i guess. And better spiders than like maggots and shit I suppose. But still. SPIDERS. And also like clever shit. Not a fan of thinking. Couldn't work for them.

Thank you for coming to my TMA talk. Please forward my contact info to any hiring entities that rated above 5. Thanks!

7 notes • Posted 2021-02-24 01:14:35 GMT

#4

Since I haven’t written anything new, I was going to just skip this like I did last week. But then I thought: if there’s one thing I have plenty of lying around - it’s wips. So, instead of sharing fresh new writing, please enjoy me shaming myself with a random snippet of a never-gonna-finish-it fic.

Today: Black Sails, Silver/Flint or Silver&Flint, shapeshifter!John. (what?)

He looks up at Flint, his eyes huge and blue.

Blue eyes always worked best for him. There's just something more startling about them, especially when they're this bright and they shine from his darker coloured features. It catches attention, makes him look better, makes the begging for his life easier when he's faced with the English men. He looks less like a Spaniard that can't be trusted.

His eyes were brown while he served on the ship, but he only met Flint briefly and in the dark. He's pretty sure the man wouldn’t remember such a detail.

"Perhaps we will be friends by then?" John asks in the most innocent, naive voice he can muster.

8 notes • Posted 2021-05-05 04:01:00 GMT

#3

Another week with no fresh writing, so please enjoy an old, barely started fic (aside from this it has like one more scene and several other beginings because I can never decide.)

Please enjoy this WIP about how bad evil pirates wanted to drop Silver’s body on Flint’s doorstep but failed to actually find Flint. (Or how John survived because James was busy in another town and Thomas lies better than anyone gives him credit for.) ~900 words

Pedro once told John that pain means you've messed up. If your legs hurt after a jump from a fence it means you've done it wrong. You've picked a fence too high or jumped wrong and you needed to be smarter about it next time. If you get caught and beaten up when you steal means you've done it wrong and need to be more careful. Or perhaps stop stealing altogether.

John liked to argue that pain could also mean you were hungry or that someone simply wanted to hurt you, but Pedro claimed it still meant you've messed up. You didn't get food or didn't get fast away from the people that wanted to hurt you. As John grew up he realized it was not always quite so simple but it stuck with him regardless, and at this moment he thought he had to mess up quite severely.

He was feverish, everything was both heightened in its annoyance and muted in clarity and he could no longer easily tell how the time was passing or where they were going. His leg was on fire, shooting pain up and making him howl over every bump in the road. Sometimes the men watching him would punch him quiet but those bruises were merely faint echoes of the agony radiating from his leg.

He was not sure how long they've had him when they finally hauled him out of the wagon. He squinted at the sudden brightness of the sun, howling in pain a second later as they pushed him to the ground.

'You should leave him on the doorstep like a sick dog. Crawling back to its master."

John had no idea what the man was talking about, he barely had any idea who they all were even. All he wanted was to finally pass out and die, so his flesh could keep rotting without him forced to witness it.

One of the men kicked him in the side, to rouse him and he cursed the bloody pirate and-

And then he remembered - they were bringing him to Flint.

He tried looking around because this humiliation was too much. To be at Flint's mercy like this. But the fever was going on for too long and John was hurting way too much, he knew he was not going to make it and what was the point of pride in the last moments of your life?

He wished he could see his captain again, just before he had to go.

"What is the meaning of this?" someone asked in a tone so different from the pirates surrounding him that everyone looked towards the man standing by the house.

He was tall and sounded educated and he most certainly was not James Flint.

John's laugh was wet with blood, but he could not stop it.

The bald man standing closest kicked him again.

"We 'ave no buisness with you. We're looking for a man named Flint. He lives here."

"He most certainly does not. I live here and I assure you I am not named 'Flint'." He said the name with a distaste yet utter lack of familiarity that made John wonder how far into the land he was taken.

"Regardless, I fail to see the reason why any of this would warant treating the obviously hurt man in such a fashion!"

That finally put a dent of doubt in Silver's captors.

"Leave this man immediately or I shall retrieve the town's magistrate. This is not a civilised way to deal with disagreement and I will not tolerate such a thing on my land."

"You've never heard of Captain Flint?"

"I hardly am a seaman, I do not know many captains, sir."

The men started looking at one of their own more and more often and John remembered it was his idea. His supposed knowledge of Flint's whereabouts that brought them all here after they came into the tavern John worked in and tried to unravel the story he once sold to the world.

"Shorter than you, redhead," the man tried desperately.

"There is no one living here but my cousin and I, and I assure you, sir, neither one of us is any kind of a captain."

"You fucking dumb shit," one of the man swore, spitting on the ground, far close to John for his comfort.

They all seemed to be deflating as their anger shifted towards one of their own.

There were sounds of horses coming from up the road and suddenly the place was far more crowded as they were joined by a few more men from the town who must've seen their unhappy trip down the main road.

"Who are you? What is the meaning of this?" someone yelled and John could no longer keep track of who was shouting and who was moving but the figures above him moved and the sun fell on his face again for a while before someone picked him up.

This is going to really hurt, he thought vaguely.

"I've really messed up this time," he mumbled.

"It's not so bad, John," one of the men caring him replied and John hoped he was either very right or very wrong because either way it would mean the pain might eventually stop.

He swayed between the men who carried him and between one sway and another, he fell limp in their arms.

9 notes • Posted 2021-05-12 22:26:47 GMT

#2

I know Im ace so correct me if Im wrong but I think if fucking takes less time than saying three words it might not be that epic.

11 notes • Posted 2021-09-21 14:20:28 GMT

#1

I'm not saying setting something on fire would calm me down, but I think it would warm me up and you have no idea how calming that is.

11 notes • Posted 2021-10-19 17:24:05 GMT

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