#I still have a few requests I wrote back then that I never posted plus another drabble about white Hank in my drafts

[cerise-on-top]

Could I ask for some fluff of a Hank x Reader x 2BDamned? If that's okay, please!

Hello! Of course you can! Here you go!

Poly 2BHank x Reader Fluff

I would say that the both of them are rather busy people, so you won’t be spending too much time together. It’s not like they can make too much time for each other either, though. However, they’ll try. It’s fairly risky for everyone involved, especially for you. If you’re not part of S.Q. then you’ll likely become the target of some attack if you’re seen with Doc. If you’re seen with Hank, if people can tell you’re affiliated with him, then they’ll attack you as well. So really, you’ll be at a disadvantage either way. However, it’s not like either of them feel like going out too much with you. Yes, Hank will want to get some hot dogs with you at some point since he does like those, but after a mission he’s usually torn as a rag and just wants to sleep. Doc is well aware of the dangers he poses towards your wellbeing, so he actively chooses to not go out with you too much either. However, that doesn’t mean that the three of you can’t be lovey dovey at home. It’s very rare to see Hank and Doc cuddle properly with each other, but it happens. Neither of them are touchy people, but sometimes you just desire the touch of a loved one, so you might catch Hank sitting on the floor next to Doc from time to time, his head in his lap. Hank could fall asleep like this too, actually, but he wants to protect you and Doc, so he usually doesn’t. Doc sometimes has a hand on Hank’s shoulder and gently rubs it to show he’s there for him, but he needs his other hand to go through files. If you join Hank on his endeavours, cuddling up to Doc yourself, then the grunt will sigh in feign annoyance and get away from his work for some time to give the two of you some attention. You can get him to settle down for the night like this as well, but he will only begrudgingly do so. 2B may not be the cuddliest person out there, and neither is Hank, but he does enjoy some physical touch from time to time. You will likely switch it up when it comes to cuddling. While you may be the little spoon now, chances are you’ll be the big spoon next time. 2B and Hank are versatile like that. While Hank may prefer holding someone as he falls asleep, if he’s not headed to bed then he can go either way.

Although it’s rare for Hank to show his softer side, he will do so for you and Doc only. Sometimes he’ll come back from a mission, bloody and almost entirely disassembled, holding a few flowers he found. Maybe even a nice scarf or a cool weapon. Despite being a very confident grunt, he knows he can easily protect you, he does believe that you having a weapon yourself would help you with defending yourself. Sometimes he’ll get you a nice katana, one like he has. Other times you can expect a rocket launcher or chainsaw from him as well. His metaphorical tail starts wagging whenever either you or Doc accept his gifts and thank him. He did a good job on this one, you will be safe and sound from here on out. Give him a nice pat, either on his arm or head, and he’ll happily grunt away. Doc pats Hank from time to time and Hank absolutely loves it. However, only you and Doc are allowed to do that, anyone else will be dealt with immediately. Hank definitely doesn’t mind being treated like a dog from time to time. If he’s in a good mood you can call him a good boy and put his face in your hands, he eats that right up. Be enthusiastic about it as well and he’ll lightly headbutt you. Don’t get mad at him for doing so, he doesn’t know what to do with these positive emotions, so he goes straight for gentle violence again.

Going on dates with the two of them mostly consists of something simple. Doc usually suggests Burger Gil’s since no one cares that Hank is there. People are there for the food, not to get mauled by Hank, so they usually leave you alone. Sometimes the three of you go to take a look at the red sun on a cliff as well, though, and reminisce about the better times. Hank still remembers the greenery that used to be in Nevada. He doesn’t remember it well since he doesn’t miss it in the slightest, but he’s lived a good chunk of his life surrounded by plants. Doc barely remembers them, but he still thinks back on them fondly. While neither of the two of them may be sentimental people, they do like discussing the past. There’s always something new to be learned about each other. There’s this unspoken trust between the three of you, so you know each other better than anyone else. For example, you know that Hank likes being picked up, even if he’s far too tall and heavy for that these days. Sometimes you pretend to try and pick him up just to make him feel good. One fact you’ve learned about Doc is that he sometimes, when you and Hank are asleep, likes to hold one hand of each of you. Sometimes he can’t sleep well, or at all, so he opts to spend that time resting from time to time. He won’t particularly go all out in holding you since he doesn’t wanna risk waking you, you’re both extremely tired, after all, but he does like holding your hands, sometimes playing with your fingers as well. He denies this, but you both know it happens. Sometimes Hank makes fun of Doc for it in his usual demeanour, but he secretly loves it. Hank’s favourite activity aside from killing and maiming is helping you and Doc out with whatever you need, even if it’s just holding the wrench. Doc loves showing you his creations. While he knows you likely won’t understand a word he’s saying, he explains them to you anyway. Besides, if he’s made a mistake thinking it over, then he’s more likely to find it while talking. Besides, he gets to spend time with you, what else could he possibly want?

[the-s1lly-corner]

hello I hope ur request are open! If not be free to ignore this!! Okay so TADC x y/n? (The amazing digital circus also it can be muti characters or one!! The choice is yours!! ^ ^)

OKAY OKAY SO WHAT IF..🥁🥁🥁 y/n was like Jessica rabbit from "who framed roger rabbit" 👀 and was very like motherly to everyone but when she was called doll,/toots,/ect, by jax or anyone SHE WOULD PUNCH THEM HARDDDD (kinda like the lola bunny fanfic??) Also she is like one inch taller then jax (she a tall women👀❤️)

(HAVE FUN WITH THIS IDEA!! DONT RUSH YOURSELF TO DO IT TAKE UR TIME ON IT!! AND DRINKS LOTS OF WATER AND EAT FOOD!! HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT!!🫶🫶)

Digital Circus x a jessica rabbit-type reader!

since im a little melty brain from blasting through a bunch of requests today im going to do part of the cast! mostly characters i think would be interesting with this kind of reader as well as some characters i just wanna write more of (cough cough kinger cough cough)(i was originally going to do gangle as well but uhuh!!) ...this reminds me ive never watched who framed roger rabbit... or rather i have, but its been so long that ive truly forgotten nearly every aspect of the movie relying on the character wiki talking about her personality to guide me through this

CAINE:

caines and jax's parts are both likely going to be on the shorter side thanks to both of their cores holding similar themes in regards to half of the idea

anyways he's going to call you pet names, especially if he's interested in you.. good luck trying to land anything on him, though, he's going to easily zoom through the air

okay nod to the lola bunny request aside, i think caine would be just head (jaw?) over heels for you, i mean, he would be anyways, but something about your caring and quick witted personality

probably makes literal heart eyes at you and audibly goes "awooga"

absolutely loves watching you do your thing during the in house adventures, on the few times he actually spectates them; though you may or may not be the reason he watches

seems like the kind of person to call you "hot stuff" or "babe"

doesn't really care about the height difference since he rarely ever stands on the ground anyways, plus he doesn't care how small he is

JAX:

to get a good idea of how jax would interact with you, i recommend this similar post! hope this links correctly, im still new to linking stuff in my posts!!

a lot of elements from the post above bleed into this, but lets add some more to it to make it a little more unique to the jessica rabbit idea!

takes it upon himself to try to get some sort of reaction out of you, outside of the name stuff... which proves to be a little harder than he thought.. actually, oddly enough, you seem to enjoy his antics?

well thats certainly new to him...

aaaaaand oh! hey would you look at that you've officially caught his attention, congratulations!

does not take too kindly to being the new second tallest, though... sure you're barely taller than him but its the principle! how can he lord his height over everyone else now!

KINGER:

so here's where i may be biased since i love kinger and i wish more people wrote for him, so his part may be a little longer, we'll see! i write these lil notes as i work on the post

right away i dont think he would call you any of the petnames listed above, or anything similar. i think, should you guys get on a nickname basis he would call you sweeter ones, "my love," "my darling", "my sweetheart", and similar stuff!

does not have lightning reflexes like jax and caine but if the names genuinely do bother you he would likely stop, you'll just have to remind him

imma be so real this man needs someone to stand back and just be there for him because he is going through it, so to have someone in his corner who has his best interests at heart will really do a lot for him

no comment on the height difference since kinger is pretty tall himself (and hes taller than jax! the only reason jax isnt upset about that is because kinger is always hunched), but i dont think he gives a darn about height

i am once again thinking about the in house adventure prompt with kinger that i had earlier, where he gets stuck somewhere and you have to go rescue him... this + that prompt, JUMPS UP N DOWN

[jinkicake]

Behind Closed Doors

The demons and how they would love you in secret. 

Barbatos, Lucifer, Mammon, Satan x Reader

A/N: All week I’ve been trying to write a Luci hate fic but, I can’t finish long works to save my own life soooooooo.... I wrote this instead :-) maybe one day I’ll post the luci fic... maybe not!

WC - 2.2k

~~~

Barbatos plays his role in a secret relationship a little too well. Much to his dismay, he neglects you most nights anyway due to his job and the tasks that come with it so the only time you spend together is those that are in passing. When Barbatos comes to drop something off, he will spend a few moments holding your hand or running his fingers along your jaw. He’s really good at keeping things hush-hush and could probably do so for the rest of your lives. 

“How are you, my dear?” 

You’ll never understand how Barbatos finds you in the most hidden places, you could be in a closet underneath the stairs in an old hallway and he could still find you in no time. Today, however, you’re in a far corner of the library. Underneath one of the large open windows, you’re tucked behind a curtain in a comfy chair with some old book in your lap. The book is not open as you decide to play on your phone instead. 

With Barbatos now here, you decide that you won’t need the mobile device or the book for entertainment. 

“I’m alright, how are you?” You sigh into the demon’s touch as he cups your cheek. The butler stands tall beside you as his gloves tickle your skin. 

“Don’t worry about me,” He calls you to sleep as his thumb runs over your cheekbone, gently forcing you to relax with his presence and a bit of magic. “how can I make your day better?” Barbatos would do anything to see that your wants and desires are settled. 

“By resting with me,” Barbatos frowns at your wish and brushes his fingers against the underside of your jaw. 

“You know that I hate to deny you of anything,” He murmurs while keeping his eyes on the tips of his gloved fingers, the demon watches intensely as he runs the digits along your throat. You tilt your head back slightly, closing your eyes and that causes the demon’s breath to hitch. “I can’t give myself to you just yet.” Barbatos leans forward to place a kiss on the corner of your lips. It’s a peck that lingers as he pauses for a few moments before pulling away and pushing the hair from your face. “Please be patient until tonight,” 

At the sound of a creak against the wooden floors, the warm touch against your neck is gone and so is the demon. Barbatos is gone before you can even realize it and you sigh out into the air. 

“(Y/N)! What a surprise to see you here!” Diavolo exclaims as he comes across you, his arms are held open wide with two heavy books resting in his hands. “Small world, huh?”

“Lord Diavolo, what are you doing here?” You try to keep your heartbeat under control and your face neutral like you weren’t just partaking in a secret rendezvous with his dear friend. 

“Well, I had to find a few books for a dinner I’m hosting this weekend. You’re coming along with Lucifer, correct?” Oh, he must be talking about what Lucifer corned you this morning for. You can never turn down a request from the future king nor can you disappoint Lucifer so you’re often at his castle. 

Plus you get to see your boyfriend and that is something you can never reject. 

“That reminds me, (Y/N), have you seen Barbatos recently? I can’t seem to find him anywhere and he’s always behind me-”

Beloved Lucifer deep down enjoys a secret relationship. He loves having to sneak around with you and the tension that arises from it all. There’s nothing more that he enjoys than stealing a kiss when no one else is looking or meeting you late in your room when everyone else is asleep. He’s a private demon and likes to keep all of his affairs away from the public, you’re his mortal treasure after all and he is not going to ever share you. 

“Let’s head to my room! I finally got my hands on a new limited edition-”

“Huh? I thought we were going to the casino.”

“Isn’t it time for dinner?”

Past the nonstop chatter of Levi, Mammon, and Beel, you find yourself trailing slightly behind the group. The afternoon is still young and bright as your classes have just gotten out for the day and you’re more than ready to unwind and go relax. 

Perhaps you’ll jump from social media app to social media app to let your mind completely unravel.

Or maybe you’ll go for a walk and listen to the new album from-

In the midst of your thoughts, a hand grabs your wrist and yanks you into a hidden doorway. A screech leaves your lips but the noise is quickly muffled by the demon’s other hand. 

“(Y/N)?” Mammon’s voice calls out to you, drowned out from the other side of the door and it is followed by a parroted call of your name from his brothers. 

“Maybe they went to the kitchen.” Beel murmurs and you roll your eyes at the sound of his retreading footsteps. 

“Maybe they headed to my room early!” Levi is quick to leave right after Beel and only Mammon waits a few moments behind to look things over. 

“Ah, stupid human.”

The touch from before comes back stronger now as large palms rest over your shoulders. You recognize this comforting feeling anywhere and lean back into Lucifer’s chest. 

“Hello, my love,” Lucifer quietly coos into your ear, squeezing you in his hold for extra emphasis. In his touch, you nearly melt. “how was your day?” “Tiring,” You huff and let your eyes flutter shut under exhaustion. 

“Mhm, would you like to come with me?” At Lucifer’s question, you can’t help but peek an eye open to look back at him. The kind smile resting on his face has you nodding in agreement before you can even think about it. 

Lucifer leans forward before dipping his head and lowering his face, he ghosts his lips over yours as a point to build anticipation before gently kissing you. For a moment, all that exists are his lips pressed against yours. You just can’t help but kiss back, and at the pressure you enforce, Lucifer cups your jaw. He holds you still while working his lips passionately, pecking you a few times before pulling away just to tease you.

The demon laughs at your pout, he laughs. 

Lucifer turns you around in his arms before bending over to kiss you once again. He presses you up against the closet door with one of his hands resting firmly around your waist while the other braces his weight against the door. 

He could spend all afternoon kissing you, loving you.

“I’m taking you to my room,” Lucifer murmurs against your lips then briefly licks at the corner of your mouth. You can’t think of any reason why you would ever deny him of this. “tonight will be for you.”

Mammon is greedy. He wants nothing more than to brag about you and show off his relationship to every single person that will listen. Considering Mammon, he would even tell people that wouldn’t listen. It’s no surprise that he grows a little antsy about your ‘secret relationship’ and a bit insecure in himself. Why don’t you want to share him with the world too? Isn’t he as special to you as you are to him?

“Belphie thinks I’m seeing you,” You randomly tell Mammon one afternoon, you’re relaxing on his bed with your upper half hanging off the mattress. The demon sitting beside you on the floor scoffs in response. “it has something to do with the fact that I’m always in your room.” You push yourself up and move to lay on your stomach, you’re now staring at Mammon with your chin resting on the tops of your hands. “Are we being too obvious?”

“Eh? Who cares,” Mammon’s half-assed response does not please you in the slightest, nor does his habit of scrolling through his phone while talking to you. “you’re the one who wants to keep this hidden.”

“With good reason!” You argue back and it’s passionate enough that Mammon glances over his shoulder back at you for a split second. The demon shakes his head in annoyance before looking back at his screen. “It’s only for a bit longer-”

“You’ve been saying that for three months,” The dejection in his voice would have been a lot clearly had you been facing him head-on. You can’t help but sigh. “why can’t we tell anyone?”

“Maybe because you’re a demon and I’m a human,” As you start to poke his cheek, Mammon swats at your hand. 

“So?” He doesn’t really get you, it’s not like there are any rules saying that the two of you can’t date. 

“And I just like keeping you to myself, I don’t want to share.” Mammon knows you are trying to distract him with your touch, it’s the only reason you’re acting so clingy. He tries to remain as stiff as possible when you wrap your arms around his shoulders but, Mammon can only fake irritation towards you for so long. With a sigh, he falls relaxes against you and tilts his head back to rest on the top of his bed. 

“One day I’m going to tell everyone,” He pouts, eyes casted elsewhere in the room. Mammon can’t look at you right now, not with the blush on his face. “they’re all going to know.” 

You have to tease him.

“Know what?” Mammon short circuits at your question, he glances at you through his slow blinks before staring back up at the ceiling. 

“That we’re- That I-” He fumbles over his words, choking on them as he tries to express himself verbally in any way possible.

“That you?” You push, cooing against his jaw as you press your cheek against his own. The hold you have him in tightens and you can’t help hugging your squishy demon. “That you like me?”

“I-I would never say something so lame,” Mammon sputters and tries to hide his bright red blush beneath his white hair. 

“That you love me?” At this, Mammon pauses and brings his hands up to hold your own. 

“Something like that,”

Despite being a rather reserved person, Satan would not like to be hidden in the shadows. At first, he may have enjoyed the idea of a secret relationship. He likes the mystery that comes with it, almost as if it was plucked straight out of one of his favorite books. But, over time, he will begin to dislike it. The demon doesn’t care who knows about your relationship and, much like his older brother, would love to parade your beauty for the worlds to see. 

“Must you keep me hidden away as if I’m some dirty secret?” Satan scowls at you despite your best efforts to push him into your bathroom. Everything was fine between the two of you until somebody knocked at your door. 

“I’m sorry, it’ll be quick, I promise!” Your whispered promises don’t make the demon feel any better as he rolls his eyes and hides behind your shower curtain. Mentally, you pray that Satan did a good job at hiding himself before you open your door and greet Lucifer with a smile. 

“(Y/N),” The older demon dips his head slightly and offers you a small smile. 

“Lucifer, is something wrong?” You nervously grip the edge of your door and hide half of your body behind the large piece of wood. The quicker this interaction ends, the better. 

“I just needed to make sure you are aware of the schedule change for tomorrow. We are meeting for the council meeting at one instead of three.”

Satan contemplates turning on the shower to drown himself so then he won’t have to hear any more of Lucifer’s voice. It’s bad enough that you’re shutting him out, he doesn’t need to be tortured by the other demon too. 

“Lord Diavolo texted me about it, but, thank you for reminding me.” The fourth-born can see the sweet smile on your face and the kindness that you give to everyone, it makes him want to scoff. Why must you be polite to Lucifer? Has he taught you nothing?

“You’re welcome. That is all-” Lucifer turns to head out, literally on his heel but then he pauses at the clattering noise coming from inside your room. “Is everything alright in your bathroom?”

“Oh!” You protectively stand in front of your doorway to prevent the demon from exploring your room further. “Everything is fine, why?” Until you can push Lucifer out, you plan to feign ignorance. 

“Rumor has it that Levi’s rats got out so just keep your eye out for them. Please do not harm the creatures.” Lucifer looks you over once more, eyes narrowed in suspicion before he ultimately turns away. He begins to leave after nodding goodbye to you and you think that you might just be in the clear. But, the demon stops and glances at you over his shoulder. His voice is now extremely low. “Do tell Satan ‘hello’ for me.”

Your mind is blank as you watch the demon walk away, and as you close your bedroom door and lock it, even as you pull Satan out from your bathroom and then head straight for your bed.

“He’s got a seventh sense or something,” You can’t help but part your lips in shock, Lucifer truly is something. “besides, why did you knock something over?!”

“It just slipped,” Satan shrugs but, with the charming smile on his face, you know the act was 100% intentional. “oh, don’t get upset with me, (Y/N). I’ll make it up to you.”

[yourgentlegirlfriend]

Bro, infinite darkness Leon is plaguing my mind I’m being so fr rn. So my req is like DomInfiniteDarkness!Leon and like this reader who rlly sarcastic and bites back and shit like that and the plot is (porn 🫶 obvi) that he asks reader to ride his face (after a few days of sexual tension) and like she’s taken aback at first but then she’s like ‘he’s hot tho’ (not rlly I can’t think of a better response, u can choose) so she rides his face yeah, and he has this grip on her thighs that she can’t even try squirming away

And omg, there should be like this one part when he’s eating her and like she grips his hair and he goes feral and sucks harshly as a motion to continue the grip on his hair, also the stubble that he has should like graze her poussay and like she clenches bc of it and Leon notices 😮‍💨🤭🤭

Leon just gives pussy-eater vibes, is it jus me? 😭 anyways in not asking this anonymously bc I need this shit so bad

If u wrote anything similar, I’m sorry 😭 😭

Tyyyy ♥️♥️♥️🫶🫶🫶🫶

( I had to, he’s so fine)

ID Leon is a plague in my mind he never goes away. I was actually writing a request super similar to this so i hope the other person who requested this sees this!! I honestly don’t think it’s that good but i try my hardest FOR YOU GUYS. I made the reader plus size deal with it and if you hate it so much just block it out with your mind okay because i needed to write a lil something for me in this one. Sorry i haven’t been posting much writing i hit little blocks sometimes and feel like my writing sucks but nothing a little sleep couldn’t fix!

Disclaimer!!! This blog is 18+ only! If you are underaged please don’t interact with my posts thank you!!

mentions of afab slighty plus size reader x ID Leon!!

Warnings: Angsty kinda! Mentions of yelling, holding guns and close to death experiences. Leon forces reader to sit on his face, he’s kinda rough with her

word count: 2,826

Heavy. Your arm hanging from the metal that had been broken not even seconds before. Though you and Leon had far to many disagreements he was still your partner. Just the way his head tilted up and his hand gripped at your wrist you knew he was so angry that you would throw yourself so close to death just to save him. The metal beneath you made a loud creaking noise as you gripped at Leon's hand, your other arm folding over to pull him up onto the platform with you.

“You have a death wish?”

Leon yelled as he tried to carefully crawl up next to you as you let go of his arm. You leaned back on your arms, catching your breath, your eyes followed Leon standing up, his hand reaching down to help you off the floor.

“That must’ve really bruised your ego huh, kennedy.”

Mascara caked a bit under your eyes due to all the running and the tank of water exploding all over you. Your hips swayed side to side as you put your hand up waving goodbye to Leon, yelling something about how you’d see him next week.

——-

Leon’s jaw tightened watching your hips sway, the way your soaked shirt clung to your body. You were his rookie once, he trained you from the ground up. Once your promotion hit you never let Leon talk down to you again, and he hated it. Snarky comments about his aim, about the way he talks, how he looks in his suits.

His body screamed at him for relief, preferably whiskey. The bar was quiet and he couldn’t help but thank the god he didn’t necessarily believe in. His fingers traced over the rim of his glass in front of him. The man had too much trauma, a troubling past and current that just weighed on him so heavily that it made everything he does difficult.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

Your silky voice snapped him from his day dreaming, his chin tilting down as his eyes traced every dip and curve of your body before he brought the glass to his lips, the liquid stinging his throat as he tilted the glass against his mouth. You wore that pretty black dress you had been wearing back in Grahamas office, but of course you had to change when actual shit started to go down. It hugs your hips and thighs so good, your plush legs crossing over each other as you sat down staring at your partner.

“You okay?”

For once you seemed genuinely concerned for him, Leon’s head nodding as the bartender poured more whiskey into his glass. Your delicate hand reaching forward and pulling the glass from him. Leon sighed turning himself to you in full, his hands reaching down to unbutton his jacket that held it to his center.

“What.”

A smirk quickly grew on your lips as you took HIS whiskey down your throat, your nose scrunching as you pushed the glass back to him. He was so tired of your bratty demeanor, it’s so unprofessional, so unclassy. Your hands reached out to fix the collar of his white button down as you still processed the burn of the alcohol.

“I worry about you sometimes.. Anyways, I was looking for you then Claire told me you were rambling about desperately needing a drink.”

Leon couldn’t help but admire the way your hands moved when you spoke, your eyes rolling at the mention of his small drinking problem.

“Drinking everyday is bad for your liver Leon.”

Leon groaned at your lecturing, his hands coming up to shush you.

“Fuck you..”

He grumbled, causing your mouth to drop open. Honestly you were offended. For once you were really concerned about the man which was rare from either of you because if you weren’t working, you were fighting.

“You’d like that too much, old man.”

———-

“Cmon Le.. Let's just have one more drink.”

Leon’s hands held at your waist as you stumbled into him. So while you lectured him for drinking so much you downed shots one after another right in front of him. Leon watched you ramble all night, the night he was supposed to spend for himself. After he pulled the both of you outside, you shivered pointing to your car, you hand grabbing for your keys in your purse.

“Okay bye Leon.”

You slurred as a whistle left Leon’s lips, his much taller frame coming in front of you to catch you yet again. Your hands nudged at him, trying to push him off you as you whined about it being cold and how you wanted to lay down. His hands worked at his jacket, shrugging it off and reaching for your arms and slipping it onto you.

“Stop talking and walk, let’s go, you're not driving.”

You were an idiot. Leon’s head shook in disappointment as the two of you began your walk down the street in silence. Even through your drunken fog you could see he was upset with you, your hands playing with the long sleeves of his dark blue suit jacket. He did have his moments where he got genuinely upset with you, like when you had accidentally stabbed him during training, or when you stepped in front of him and Chris during a mission to take the damage of a blown hit. You didn’t belong in this field and he had no idea how you even made it this far. He reached into his back pocket pulling his keys out before he pushed open the door, turning himself back to you.

“Inside.”

His palm rested against your lower back as you stepped inside his home, your eyes adjusting to the lighting change. Leon pulled the jacket off of you and threw it on his couch before he leaned on the counter staring at you. Standing in the middle of his living room. His annoyance was making you sober, playing with your fingernails as he glared at you. His back turned to you as he pulled a glass from his cabinet, turning on his faucet to pour water into it. You flinched as he slammed it in front of you.

“Drink.”

A laugh left your lips as you reached for the glass, taking a sip. But Leon didn’t seem to find it as funny as you did, his hands resting on the beautiful marble counter.

“Lots of one word responses tonight huh.”

You asked as you finished off the glass of water, your hand rubbing your stomach. He was in his own world, it was shocking he cared as much as he did.

“Yeah, goodnight.”

Leon mumbled as he pulled the glass into his sink, pointing to the blankets on the couch. Watching his figure walk down the hall made your skin crawl. You wanted to tell him how scared you were today, how you almost lost him. How he didn’t notice the bruise on your right shoulder from almost breaking your shoulder saving him.

————

A loud thump of a pillow hitting your face shook you from your sleep, your hand reaching for your gun as you sat up.

“Oh calm down. Let’s go Grahams called.”

Leon spoke as he handed you your shoes. You yawned, pushing your heels on before running out the door after him. It’s your favorite time of day, even though you have a violent hangover and it feels like you are going to puke with every step you take trying to catch up to Leon. Out of breath finally walking beside him you push your neck forward, nodding with that stupid smug look on your face that Leon hated.

“You clean up really nice Leon, what straightener do you use?”

How could you be so bitchy at eight in the morning, Leon’s eyes rolled, his lips pressed together as he got into his car, you not falling too short behind. Out of all the people in the department he didn’t understand how he ended up with you as his partner.

——-

“What?”

Leon stood next to you, him and the president sharing a glance as he sighed.

“Listen, Leon told me what happened yesterday and we decided collectively it would be best for you to go work for another agency.”

Your jaw grew tight, it felt like your teeth were being grinded down and your cheeks were flushed a deep red in anger. Your head snapped to Leon, your eyes squinting at him. How could he file a complaint about you saving his life? He is lying directly to the source but you had no proof he was lying which is what made the situation so much worse.

“Fuck you.”

Your words smacked Leon in the face, your body purposely shoving into his shoulder- and hard too. The sound of your heels clicking filled the hallway, your anger building in your chest as you stormed out the back door. This was your life purpose, being an agent. When your younger brother had died at the hands of Umbrella you tried working your way up to demolish it all. None of it mattered anyways because when you met Leon and Chris your life had completely changed. Even though you and Leon had too many unsolvable problems, you thought he still cared? Now you were left jobless, clueless. You looked down at your phone as it buzzed in your purse ‘Leon’ Flashing on the screen.

Stupid son a bitch.

————

Loud banging on your door woke you up, your eyes fixing on the clock on your nightstand. Three in the morning? Sitting up quickly you pulled your handgun from your dresser, tip toeing into the living room area of your flat.

“Who is it? I have a gun!”

When not at work your self defense skills were beyond poor, the banging stopped, the sounds of shuffling were heard before a small thud was heard against your door. Peering into the small eyehole of your door, there stood Leon. His eyes squeezed shut as he rested his palm against your door, you immediately swung the door open causing Leon to fix at his posture.

“Jesus christ Leon, what the fuck?”

Leon’s body pushed into your flat, slamming the door behind him. His hands grabbed at the gun in your hand, laying it on your counter. Your lower back smacked against your couch as he towered over you, his hands reaching down to hold at your face before his lips smacked into yours. No alcohol? Leons teeth nipped at your lip, pulling a low moan from you before you put your hands out pushing him away from you

“What are you doing?”

Leon’s chest heaved as he stared at you, you still looked so sleepy, your pretty nightgown resting so beautifully on your thighs. Your hair was a mess and now your lips were all puffy, he couldn’t fucking stand you. Leon’s hand ruffled through his hair as he looked down the hall to your room, your bed sheets a mess. Leon’s hand gripped your upper arm, walking down the hallway with you in his hands.

“Leon! Stop! Look at me”

Pretending you didn’t like the way he touched you was a joke, and you knew Leon could tell just by the way you reacted to his touch. A whine spilled from your lips as he shoved you down onto your silk sheets, your fingers reaching down to fix your nightgown that had flown up. The sound of Leon’s knees hitting the floor echoed through your ears, your upper body lifting as you watched him lick at his chapped lips. His head shook at the sight of your glistening folds in front of him, your thighs squeezing together as you stared down at the man. Stammers of protest left your lips as Leon’s fingers dug into the flesh of your meaty thighs, of course he was strong but you didn’t know he was this strong. A deep groan emitted from his chest as he lifted his hand, his tongue running across his fingers. His eyes finally met yours, his fingers slick with his spit rubbing small circles on your clit.

“Not so much to say now, huh?”

Oh. Your heart dropped as you remembered the paperwork you had sent in placing a complaint for him. Talking about how unprofessional he was, how he drinks on the job, and stuff about his personal life in general, your lips shook as your mouth opened, a moan ripping from your throat as Leon's thick fingers pushed into you, your hand reached down grabbing at his wrist but he pushed it off to side as he rose his way up your much smaller body. His other hand gripped at the inner part of your knee, locking it beside him as he pushed his fingers into you.

“God you piss me off, Grahams was so mad at me you know? But unlike you I didn't lose my job. You had me with your little comments but I swear if you try something like this again, I will do more than fuck you stupid, Do you understand me?”

When did Leon get the capability to be so fucking mean? Your head nodded up at him, his fingers drawing from you. Leon’s head shook in disapproval as he pushed himself off you, laying down on his back.

“Sit.”

Great. Back with the one word responses. You sat up confused as your hand reached down to cover your exposed self. Your gaze shifted to Leon who looked so pretty sprawled out onto your black silk sheets. His pupils were blown with lust.

“Sit?”

Laughter came with the question as Leon tilted his head to the side to admire you tilting your head back as you laughed at yourself. His hands tugged you towards him, making you lose your balance. “fucking brat.” He mumbled as he dragged you onto of him, your body sitting on his chest.

“Sit on my face. I know you’re not stupid.”

Leon spoke up to you as he pulled your hips towards his face but you pushing yourself back made his eyebrows raise.

“Leon, I'm going to kill you..”

You sat up slightly trying to take more weight off his chest. You weren’t the skinniest but Leon knew that you were always a bit self conscious about your weight, and the amount of times he has caught you has been extremely surprising. One look down at him changed your mind, he was looking at you as if you were the only person in the word, his tongue continuously licking over his lips, you let out a shaky breath before you brought yourself forward grabbing at the headboard. Hovering over his face still too scared but Leon’s hands reached up, pushing you down onto his face.

“Leon!- oh-”

Screams of worry turned into soft cries of pleasure, Leon’s hands reaching back to cup at your ass in his hands, somehow pushing you further into him. Your eyes finally fluttered open, staring down at Leon who seemed to be enjoying much more than he should. Never did you imagine Leon’s face so deep into you, your thighs pushing against his cheeks, the scruff on his face scraping your soft skin. His eyes opened hazily, staring up at you as he pushed his tongue into you, his hands still rocking you into him.

“Leon wait!-”

You cried out as a boiling burn started to build in your stomach, your body going to crawl off of him. Leon’s arms wrap around your thighs before you’re flipped over, his thighs laying over his shoulder as he laps at your folds on long strokes. Your hands reach down, grabbing at his soft hair. Leon moans out, vibrating your entire body as he uses his fingers to hold your folds open. He’s sucking at your clit so fucking good, your hands trying to push him away as he hold you’re hips down. He could have this view forever, the way you’re crying for him and the way you taste so good in his mouth. The amount of times Leon has wanted to force you down and suck on your pretty little clit was too many to count on his hand.

“Fuck!”

Your scream could probably be heard from all the flats around you as your orgasm flashed through your body, causing tears to drip from your eyes. A cry left your throat as Leon sat up, his fingers gently rubbing small heart shapes on your clit with a big smile on his face. He looked so beautiful, your slick covering his chin and his lips swollen from sucking at your folds for so long.

“Le.. s’ too much.”

Leon shook his head as he leaned down, sloppily pressing kissing on your lips, your own taste filling your mouth before you screamed out at the feeling of Leon once again pushing his long fingers into you.

“Jus’ give me five more of those pretty.. I'm enjoying this too much.”

[gunnerfc]

Update :)

Hi! I know it’s been literal months and I’m so sorry for that!

After I lost all my outlines for my 1k celly (I lost other outlines for other fics I was working on as well), which I still don’t know how I managed to do that, I lost all motivation for writing and kinda woso in general. I still watched games and whatnot but it just wasn’t fun until the Olympics (which RAHHH USA GOLD). Plus I did not have the best mental health but thats besides the point.

I just wanna say sorry for not writing the 1k celly fics, I hate that I lost everything and lost motivation right as I hit 1K </3

I do plan on slowly returning to writing, with the new seasons about to start, my excitement and love for the game is coming back and I want to channel that through writing! Gonna be a slow restart but I’m glad my love for writing is coming back :)

There are a few changes tho!

-> I changed who I write for! I’ve taken quite a bit of players off my list solely because I hardly ever wrote for them in the first place and I mainly want to focus on the ones I know the most!

-> I also will be starting to write for a few fictional characters that I like, I know this is a WOSO blog and all my followers are WOSO fans but im so hyper-fixated on some of these characters and I haven’t written for fictional characters in ages so I wanna get back into it even if they flop lmao

-> I won’t be doing any more NSFW alphabets (aside from doing them for the fictional characters I added) and I won’t be doing any more insta posts/stories etc :)

-> I’ve cleared my WIP list and inbox from months-old requests to sorta give myself a true fresh start so im so sorry I never got around to some of them </3

Lastly, please bear with me as I get back into posting and writing and stuff, I’m sure my writing is a bit rusty but hopefully, people still enjoy my works! - ⚡️🫶🏻

[odditycircus-2002]

Hi there! I stumbled upon your blog a while ago and I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your work. I absolutely love your Medusa Reader as well as the interactions between her and Baraka as well as her friendship with Syzoth with the rest of the Earthrealmers and Outworlders and of course the animosity she has for Shang Tsung though he's still attracted to her. I'm also the anonymous person that's been sending you the numerous reactions requests because I wanted to see how you would write out the scenarios that I would ask for and you've never disappointed me. I felt comfortable to reveal myself to you because I was nervous to see what kind of reaction I would get for sending these requests to you. I love the latest scenario that you posted yesterday and I sent you another request though this one is more PG friendly, basically the Outworlders stumbling upon a pet store and them interacting with the animals inside with Medusa Reader and Syzoth encountering the reptiles in the reptile section, Mileena and Kitana as well as Li Mei and Tanya playing with several puppies and kittens and ferrets and Ashrah interacting with several birds while Baraka is asking Johnny why do Earthrealmers keep them as pets and which ones would be delicious to eat scaring the Outworlders and a few customers and maybe Syzoth trying to eat some of the bugs that they sell in the store. You're an amazing writer with incredible talent and I hope to read more from you soon. Keep up the good work, you're awesome!

A/N: Awwwww and I think YOU'RE awesome! Thanks for the asks too as those are fun to write. Sometimes I have to step back from writing since I'm laughing too hard at what I wrote or think about writing with these scenes.😂😂😂 Also, I am SOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO FINALLY FINISH!!! I hope this makes up for it!!!!

You and the other outworlders plus Ashrah vaguely wondered about what Earthrealm's fauna is like compared to the other realms. You are all given a chance when coming across a pet store while Johnny was giving you another Earthrealm tour, specifically, a "exotic" pet store, that had a painted tropical bird on the sign. The smell of prey and predator bombarding emanating even just outside the door.

Mileena and Kitana were immediately drawn to the softer looking animals, approaching a pen filled with soft puppies yapping in greeting at the newcomers and another filled with mewing fluffy kittens. Mileena laughed as the puppies tripped over their own feet in their pursuit to greet her and Tanya. The latter lightly jokes/suggests that maybe they train some of these hounds to be Umgadi.

Kitana meanwhile is a few yards from her sister contently petting the kittens and letting them climb all over her, with Li Mei acting as her guard, as old habits die hard. Yet, one could see a small smirk from the former Umgadi priestess as she observes one kitten, the runt of the litter, trying to climb her leg. Admiring the small kit's tenacity. Kitana and Mileena later move their attentions to the small glass case containing ferrets.

You and Baraka followed behind Ashrah and Syzoth as the former wanted to check out the colorful birds there, seeing as the Netherealm doesn't contain any colorful ones nor non-scavengers. However, you lagged behind when your snakes started to hiss up a storm as they all lean towards the terraiums displaying mice and rats, snapping their jaws and flicking their tongues in the direction of the tasty snacks.

"Behave! I'll buy some of them later, just calm down!"

You hurriedly grabbed at your snakes to pull them away, as the rodents within their cases started running around in panic. Syzoth notices one of the store's employees giving you an odd look, and then drags you along to the reptile section while Baraka glowers at the employee until they finally lower their head to avoid eye contact with the Tarkatan.

The Reptile section had to be the most interesting part of the tour. Given how many of your snakes seemed to share many similarities with the serpents being sold here, whether that be in snout shape, eyes, length, or scale color and pattern. Although you had to pull your snakes away from more than one caged serpent, as they tried to eat the smaller ones and curled away from a boa.

Syzoth would remark how some of the reptiles vaguely resemble either relatives or associates from Zaterra. He would point at some of the lizards, such as an "ugly" looking reptile with dull scales and say that it's Archduke Mahazzem before hissing in amusement which you shared in.

"It really DOES look like him."

The Zaterran even pointed at a snake basking on a rock under its heating lamp and remarked that it's you. To which you respond by pointing at a tortoise and saying the resemblance between him and Syzoth is uncanny. While you and Syzoth were ribbing each other, Baraka went off on his own to ask Cage if he could purchase some of the animals, specifically some ferrets, birds, and reptiles. Not as pets but as meat to try out later. Much to Cage's disgust and a few other regular customers' horror. Kitana held the ferret in her arms even closer as did Tanya with one of the pups she was growing fond of.

Cage's disgust doesn't end there as he spots you and Syzoth purchasing some crickets and mice before eating them right at the register, for all to see. At the sound of a child crying, did Cage rush to escort all of you out of the store, not caring for Baraka's protests of not getting anything to eat as well.

[prettyyoungandbored]

Johnny Knoxville x Babydoll Headcanons Pt.1

I’m doing this bc I’m bored but I’m also too lazy to write another one shot.

I’ll have more but here’s a few to get you started ♥️

NOT MY GIF

- y/n is more than Johnny’s girlfriend (and later his wife)

- she’s truly his other half, and he’s hers

- they have each other’s back at all times

- while she loves when he calls her “babydoll”, she also loves when he calls her “cutie”

- she can’t help but smile when he calls her that as it makes her feel all mushy and whatnot

- his heart melts when she refers to him as “my love”

- like he gets all giggly inside

- he loves to drive her crazy

- Like he loves it

- He’s learned his limits with it and usually does a good job of not crossing them

- when y/n ends up getting an office at the Dickhouse office building Johnny will find every excuse to go to her office

- like every excuse

- “PJ I’m on the phone.” “I need to grab a sauce packet from the drawer.” “You already have a shit ton in your desk drawer.” “Yours are better.”

- in return, she loves to lie down on the couch in his office and do suggestive poses while he’s on the phone while making funny faces

- it took them some time but they learned how to separate work from their personal lives

- it’s not always easy but they manage it

-what you see with Johnny Knoxville is what you also get with PJ Clapp and man, does she love that

- she loves that he’s not only talented and courageous, but he’s hard working and ambitious

- his ambition and courage turn her on

- before he does any stunts, he requests an off camera kiss from her for good luck

- it does not bring him any luck or prevent any serious injuries

- but it became his ritual and it stayed

- she’s done a couple minor stunts besides the milkshake challenge

- but Johnny is adamant about her staying away from the dangerous stuff

- but she’s still somewhat known in the Jackass fanbase

- when she’s Johnny’s plus one at events, she goes the extra mile to make sure she looks so good that he’s proud to show her off

- little does she know she could wear a potato sack and he’d be proud as a peacock to have her on his arm

- this will later be explained more in another one shot but she did do some production stuff for Playboy before she went on to do stuff for MTV

- she also wrote for the magazine a couple times both pre and post Jackass

- Johnny calls her his favorite Playmate despite her insistence she has never been asked to pose and will never pose

- he loves that she works as hard as he does

- but he knows when to pull her back when it gets to be too much

- “Babydoll, it’s midnight.” “I’m almost done.” “I love you but that’s a lie. Now save your work and shut the computer off.”

- he also loves that he can confide in her about anything and feel validated

- he also loves talking to her

- even if it’s late at night or first thing in the morning or even in the middle of traffic

- they can talk about everything and anything

- she’s his passenger princess

- when he goes to film other movies she’ll visit him

- she’s been Mrs. Knoxville from the moment she first appeared on camera with him

- all the way to Jackass Forever when they re-did the milkshake challenge and let their two kids make the disgusting milkshake

[bbangsuns]

ah!love | miguel o'hara

requested?: no, but this man has been on my mind ever since atsv came out and it was only a matter of time before i wrote for him

pairing: miguel o'hara x plus sized!latina!reader

word count: 1.509

warnings: none, just Miguel being the biggest sweetheart for his partner (and only for them). there will be a part 2 with a different song posted after this!

authors note: just something short and sweet for my favorite man <3. based on this song by seventeen, i definitely recommend listening while reading! lyrics will be italicized and in bold. kinda short. for the first set of lyrics, they're from two different verses but I think they fit best with how he'd react to someone unintentionally wiggling their way into his heart

a/n pt. 2: i only used about 2 or 3 lines from the song that I thought matched best with his personality/what a relationship could possibly be like with him. he may be ooc because i haven't seen the movie, i only know a few things based on what i've seen on here, tiktok, and twitter.

taglist: @hydrngea / @withbeautyandrage @eaudenana

if you want to join my taglist, just send me an ask!

checked if i was lying when i thought it was love at first sight

you planted a seed in my dry heart / i'm growing it so don't ignore me

Miguel wasn't someone who believed in love at first sight and if anyone were to ask him about it, he'd audibly laugh in their face before glaring at them and telling them to get their head out of their ass.

that was until you came along and flipped that sentiment on its head. it was a strange feeling for Miguel, especially when he had vowed to never love anyone after the death of his daughter. so when he noticed how his heart would race any time you talked or even smiled in his general direction, he couldn't help but just straight up confront you about it in traditional Miguel fashion.

"what the hell did you do to me?" he asked one day, suddenly appearing in front of you in the cafeteria while you were talking to peter b. parker.

you yelped in surprise which caused you to choke on your food, your spider sense not having alerted you. after about a minute of peter smacking your back and you drinking water, you finally turned to answer him.

"what are you talking about?" you croaked, throat still hoarse from having choked on your fries.

he groaned and grabbed your arm, tugging you along until you reached an empty room in which he pushed you in as gently as possible.

"¿qué me hiciste? por qué siento algo raro cuando estás cerca de mi?*" he asked once more and this time he sounded exasperated, almost desperate to know what was going on with him as if he couldn't figure it out without your help.

"Miguel te lo juro, no sé de qué demonios estás hablando!*" you exclaimed, throwing your hands up in frustration at his repeated questions.

he exhales sharply through his nose, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples before opening them and gazing over at you. he takes a deep breath and attempts to collect his thoughts, opening and closing his mouth multiple times as he tries to figure out the words.

"whenever you're around me...i get this weird feeling in my chest, like my heart is racing at 100 miles per hour and i get dizzy. it's been going on since I met you, i think." he explained slowly, pausing in between as he seemed to choke on his own words.

you stand there stunned for what seems like ages and regret starts to flood Miguel as he realizes this may have been a mistake.

"*sabes qué, esto fue un error. olvídalo, si? no te queria hacer sentir incomoda..*" he muttered, turning to walk out of the small office. you quickly reached for his wrist, moving to stand in front of him. you looked up at him with a wide grin that practically had your face splitting.

"*Miguel, me estás diciendo que te gusto? o tal vez me amas?*" you teased him, but on the inside your heart was beating so fast you could feel it in your ears.

he cleared his throat and looked away from your eyes before slowly nodding, deliberately ignoring how your hand felt against him.

"i think so yeah...and i'd like to explore it further with you if you'd be willing to." he replied quietly, connecting his eyes with yours once more and you could see the insecurities just barely peeking through the surface. your smile softened and you nodded, moving your hand down to interlace your fingers with his.

"i'd like that, too." you said simply, and the way he looked at you when you said it, you knew it was going to make every moment worth it.

i found an oasis beyond the green forest / please let the thirsty me drink your feelings

you and miguel had been together for nearly a year now and had become each other's safe havens, something you were both grateful for especially with all the stress and anxiety that came from your line of work.

today was especially difficult for Miguel; for one, the last mission went badly and a number of spiders ended up injured, including you. apart from that, Pavitr, Gwen, Miles, Hobie, and Lyla had been pushing his buttons more than usual, constantly questioning his authority and making jokes at his expense. normally it wouldn't bother him but with you being injured and the anomaly escaping, he was close to blowing up on everyone.

he decided to walk away from everything for the rest of the day before he said something he'd (maybe) regret and made his way to your shared apartment, his body tense the entire time. as soon as he walked through the door and saw you laying on the couch half asleep, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and relaxed.

"*¿cómo te sientes, mi amor?*" he asked as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head, eyes scanning your figure for any injuries he may have missed.

"*me siento bien adolorida, pero aparte de eso estoy bien. no te preocupes, corazón.*" you reassured him, kneeling up on the couch and placing a kiss to his lips, a small smile on your lips. as much as he wanted to argue with you and say you were definitely not fine, he couldn't find it in him to do that at the moment.

"what about you, mi amor? you look tense." you observed with a frown, grabbing his hand and tugging him towards you. he allowed his body to drop onto the couch with a sigh, leaning his head back against the headrest.

"*es nada, mi vida. solo estoy cansado.*" he responded weakly, pulling you onto his lap and wrapping his arms around your waist, giving you a small smile.

you narrowed your eyes at him and poked his chest, not satisfied with the vague answer, especially not when you could almost hear the way his pulse jumped when you asked.

"no me mientas, Miguel. we don't keep things from each other, remember?" you scolded him, but there was no real anger in your words. instead it was laced with concern and mild annoyance, which made Miguel grin slightly.

"today was more stressful than usual.. i couldn't stop worrying about you when Jess told me you were hurt. then we got back to HQ and the kids were making fun of me and teasing me more than usual, which I'd normally ignore but I was already pissed off from the botched mission and from the damn anomaly hurting you so I left. I didn't do the debrief after the mission or anything, I really just couldn't stand being in that building anymore." he rambled, frustration and exhaustion creeping into his voice.

you rubbed the crease that had formed between his eyebrows and listened intently to his venting, feeling guilty that you were part of why he had been so stressed out.

"*perdon por preocuparte, cariño,* and i'm sorry the kids were messing with you. but to get your mind off of their little antics, we can eat some dinner, take a bath, and then just lay in bed, yeah?" you suggested, your hand coming up to rest on the side of his face, your thumb gingerly rubbing his cheek.

"yeah, i'd like that a lot." he hummed as he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes.

you grinned and pecked his lips before standing up and grabbing his wrist, doing your best to pull him up on your own. he chuckled at your efforts and stood up, grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder, making you yelp in surprise.

the first time he had ever done that to you, you were afraid he'd end up hurting himself, especially since you had always been on the heavier side. he had actually laughed at you out of shock and continued doing it, showing off how easily he could pick you up no matter your weight.

he walked you to the bedroom and gently dropped you onto the bed, removing his suit and changing into a simple pair of sweats before laying down next to you, tugging you as close as humanly possible before sighing in content.

"we can eat and shower later, amor. i just want to sleep for now." he whispered, his breath fanning over your neck making you twitch. you turned in his arms and laid your head on his chest, your leg thrown over his waist as you nodded, eyes already feeling heavy.

"yeah okay, get some rest. i love you." you mumbled against him, body relaxing completely as you allowed sleep to overtake you almost immediately.

Miguel felt his pulse quicken at your words, because no matter how many times you had uttered them, it left him dizzy every single time. he just kissed the top of your head, whispering an 'i love you' back even though you couldn't hear him. he fell asleep soon after you did, a small smile on his face as he thought about how lucky he had been to find someone like you, his oasis.

translations:

¿qué me hiciste? por qué siento algo raro cuando estás cerca de mi? = what did you do to me? why do i feel so weird when you're near me?

Miguel, te lo juro, no sé de qué demonios estás hablando!! = i swear i don't know what the hell you're talking about

*sabes qué, esto fue un error. olvídalo, si? no te queria hacer sentir incomoda..* = you know what, this was a mistake. forget it, yeah? i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable

*Miguel, me estás diciendo que te gusto? o tal vez me amas?

¿cómo te sientes, mi amor?*= are you saying you like me? or maybe even love me?

"me siento bien adolorida, pero aparte de eso estoy bien. no te preocupes, corazón." = i feel pretty sore, but besides that i'm okay. don't worry, sweetheart.

"es nada, mi vida. solo estoy cansado." = it's nothing, my life. i'm just tired.

*perdon por preocuparte, cariño,*= i'm sorry for worrying you, darling.

[llondonfog]

Hello, I would like to make a request if possible. I'm translating through a translator, so I'm sorry if something is not too clear. I hope that the request meets your criteria and does not cross the line. You can change it as you feel more comfortable or completely ignore it. So the essence of the request is that Silver dies in childhood because of Mellius. Perhaps he will find out about the origin of the child or just an accident. But Silver is dead and Lilia is going crazy. Mellius himself is plunged into a sense of guilt. And in their grief, they decide to bring him back to life. Whether it's an attempt to revive it or replace it. It doesn't really matter. Just distraught from the loss, they begin to live in the illusion that Silver is alive. But Silver himself is just an empty shell acting on orders and possibly imitating the behavior of the original. Most of all, I am interested in the reaction of the other characters to this. Sorry, it's a little hard for me to put the whole idea together. I would like to see how they live after the tragedy in complete denial and reassurance that everything is fine, continuing to live as before. But perhaps it breaks down when they try to destroy this illusion. As I wrote earlier, you have every right to ignore my request or change it as you wish. The main thing is that the essence of the idea remains. I also wanted to ask if it is possible to make multiple requests? Of course, taking into account not to spam and not to burden you. Anyway, I'm glad I was able to get this idea out of my head. Thanks for attention.

drabble fic posted here! <3

first, thank you so much for taking the time to share this incredible request, i absolutely LOVED writing it and i hope the spirit of what you wished to see was conveyed!! <3 please don't hesitate to ever jump into my inbox with ideas or twst thoughts that you'd like to share! it may take me some time to get to it, and i'll make it known if it just isn't something i can't get to at this time :)

as far as the direction i went with for your request, i was fully OBSESSED thinking about the mundane, agonizing horror of silver dying by a simple and natural accident— a slip on the wet rocks of the creek in front of their cottage home, losing his grip on a mountainside during a bout of rock-climbing, etc. something so blameless that it would RUIN lilia because it was such an ordinary accident that he couldn't prevent.

i really wanted mal to be the one to bring silver back to life out of a desperate bid to heal lilia's near overblot levels of grief, but also out of this childish way (because he's still a child himself!!) to save lilia's wish to so desperately know if he could love a human— plus of course, mal is obviously fond of silver at this point too and is similarly grief-stricken and absolutely NOT thinking clearly when he tries to resurrect the child.

something that i wanted to be key is that whatever mal brought back, it is NOT silver. silver is permanently dead, and whatever spirit is inhabiting his body is one that mal sees as a complete abomination. lilia, too deep in his grief, latches onto the child regardless even if he has moments of clarity when he can't look at the new 'silver' or be around him for some time. so both mal and lilia know the truth, but nine year old sebek has been pretty much kept in the dark so far with only a few play dates to start seeing a weird behavioral difference in silver and the others.

(but the illusion can't last— this silver can never grow past the age in which the body died, and the spell has to be reapplied after so many weeks or else the corpse starts, well . . . becoming a rotting corpse again. also i'm kind of insane over the idea that the spirit inside silver is malicious and has bewitched lilia into trying to kill himself to reunite with his dead son so that it can take his magic and now mal has to figure out how to undo the awful that he did BUT I MIGHT BE GOING TOO FAR DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE NOW LOL)

[fourgods-nobrakes]

2023 in review

This has been kind of a rough year for creativity. I got laid off and haven't been able to get a new job yet, various parts of the house have been needing repair or threatening to fail, our housemate bought a condo and moved out in an ultimately good but exhausting process, and my dog developed a degenerative condition that eventually led to her passing. Plus the wider world continuing to, you know, everything.

Despite which, I posted 92,468 new words to AO3 (number might change if I have a chance to edit one of my CIE works before those go live). That's spread over exactly 50 stories, which is neat. A huge amount of that wordcount is thanks to doing exchanges; I signed up to 21 exchanges this year, so that definitely helped me keep words coming when things were rough.

...But I think I'm going to try to step back and do less exchange stuff in 2024. Partly it's the more-more-more vibe of the exchange server I'm on; it's very friendly but also has a constant "there's a really good one coming up, you don't want to miss out" feel and the humblebragging "haha I wrote 40k in 2 weeks I'm such a clown" is not great for where my brain is.

But also doing exchanges in this fandom specifically can leave me feeling alienated and unhappy; there are a few people I can match with comfortably if time/interest lines up, but a lot more people that I don't share favorite characters or interpretations with, and some things that come up in requests regularly that I'd like to never see again (Russ & Wolves as rapist savages; thoughtless evil Horus who never loved anyone; most of what people do with Lorgar, which is never about his agency and desire; etc.!!). So, you know. Maybe time to do more things for myself and not worry about whether people know these particular heretic astartes, or whether I can write something that will satisfy someone else's request while still feeling comfortable to me.

I honestly don't know how well it'll work. I've been doing most of my fic production through exchanges for the last 4-5 years, because structure and deadlines and an almost-guaranteed audience of at least one. And I'll likely still do a few in 2024, just... not that many. And maybe it will mean fewer words, but hopefully they'll be words I enjoy and have feelings about.

[aterribleinfluence]

about me !! ★⋆.　✭　

i realized i never did a proper about me so this is my introduction post!

jailedmoonshine ♡ toppedbykakuna

hello!! you can call me alexis or lexi !! i've been a phannie since easily 2013 and i've been using danandphilgames as an emotional support crutch since the gaming channel went on hiatus, so i'm SO happy that they're back and i'm SO happy to be back in the phandom!

i try to tag as much as I can, personal posts will be tagged as #lexis thoughts and any posts about anything other than Dan and Phil will get the #not dnp tag!

♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺(🔴▶🔴)⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡

i have a youtube channel where i make dan and phil compilations! you might have come across dan and phil reminding us that they came out of the closet , or perhaps the week after christmas where i made a dan and phil compilation video daily that i lovingly called Chaosmas ! if not, you can see my recent compilations such as DanAndPhilBAKES or phil's top gaming moments !

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i'm a writer! i have a creative writing degree, a handful of poetry publications, and one selfpublished fictional novella about a young trans girl beginning her transition (it was my first book and i wasn't quite sure what i was doing, so you can only see it if you ask really, really nicely), however i do have two physical poetry books that i wrote and created myself, called incoherence and resilience! incoherence is an honest look into an often unspoken form that ocd can take in a person's mind, and resilience is a handful of poems showcasing the beauty of the queer community. more information about them down the post, or click the links for more info!

i am also dipping back into fanfiction! i'm currently working on a Phil!Vampire AU where Dan is his oblivious roommate for over a decade without realizing he's a vampire, it's gonna be a bit dark and a bit weird and a bit sexy but i think that's the fun of fanfic right? i'm also gonna start a handful of random story ideas and see if any of them speak to me so be sure to keep up with my ao3 account!

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i have a patreon and a ko-fi! i am currently unemployed (and not making any money from my compilations) so any support is hugely appreciated! i am also a poet and an author, any supporters are free to reach out for a free copy of either of my poetry books, incoherence or resilience (click the link to jump to the post with more info!)

i'm taking compilation commission requests! feel free to request anything within reason on my kofi or patreon and i'll dedicate the video to you and your preferred social! i'm still working through a few youtube comment requests, however any payment will get priority! ♡

♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺(🎮🕹️👾)⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡

if anyone wants to be friends on the switch hello i love playing on my switch pls add me! if you play animal crossing, mario kart, smash bros, fall guys or honestly any switch game, come be my friend lets hang out! i'm happy to add discords or snapchats!!

if you made it this far, thank u for ur love and support! i've been having a lot of fun doing this so far and i'd love to keep doing this as long as i can, so be sure to follow for updates on my fanfics and poems, plus i'll be posting new compilations relatively weekly so subscribe over on youtube to see them when they come out! i'm always down to chat or answer questions, my ask box is always open so feel free to come chat!

[unhappytimeleaper]

I see the request is still open and I apologize for sending this early but I can't help, ur writing is rlly nice. Can I request yan adonis alphabet with K, H, A and S? if you r not busy and take care. 

requested by 🍖

Word Count: 3,050+

I assume the meat emote is like,, what anon wanted to be noted as?

so, I tried. Honestly, Adonis is a character I don’t know quite as much about. Undead aren’t really my style and I find myself generally interested in characters outside of this group more, and it got to a point that I ended up having to rewrite this a few times to get it to make sense with what I wanted to convey. 

This note isn’t like,, super important but my asks are still open. I am doing my best to try to get things out faster and when I start my new job I do want to find a schedule that works so I can still post when I begin working full time. Please be proud I wrote this in like 2 days once I really focused on it even though the sad hours were really bad at times. 

Otogari Adonis; Unedited. Gender Neutral Reader.

Warnings; yandere content, mental breakdown, gaslighting [mostly to yourself/Adonis to himself], clingy Adonis is clingy. 

This blog is 17+ please have your age in your bio or tagged; any ageless blog and below the age asked for will be blocked at the end of the week. 

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

One of the problems is that Adonis isn't too far off from a regular relationship; however, everything is amplified so much that it becomes a problem to handle. Or at least far beyond anything that is healthy, push a level of co-dependency even most clingy couples would be worried about. He's not restrictive like some others; he's not one to try to ban you from most things [unless he becomes highly over-worried for your safety] or to remove people from your personal life. Generally, that comes to friends outside of the industry and family; Adonis doesn't necessarily go out of his way to keep you from other idols, but you can tell there is a shift to his emotions when around others on par with him in the field. Perhaps it's a fear that he isn't as remarkable when around them or thinks they have some sort of skill he lacks. It is one that he knows is irrational; you're dating him, not them, but he can't help but have some adverse reaction to watching you talk to them. 

Instead, Adonis comes off as extremely lovesick and overbearing in his affection. Much like the honeymoon stage of a relationship, but instead, this is one-sided and far more clingy. And to a level, he can recognize that it is unhealthy, that it's only him giving the level of love. It doesn't matter in the end. Part of him is able to dilute himself so much into thinking that you love him enough to justify his actions; it's just not your style to project in the same way— and how he shows his love is just as normal, just not common for people around here. It takes him a while to entirely lose himself in these delusions, but in the meantime, it stays just as intense. He just often would be more willing to apologize when you get upset since he likely doesn't want you to find a reason to leave him; however, he never seems to change his actions. 

PDA is an everyday occurrence. It feels as if you can't go out at all without him touching you somewhere, holding hands, arms interlocked, wrapped around your waist. If you can't be physically touching, Adonis is like a large blanket, hovering so close behind you it feels like he's about to drape himself over your frame. You can ask him to take a step back, and he will go with a brief "sorry" before inching back closer. More explicit things like kisses might be more chaste against your forehead or hands than lips, while he is much more PDA friendly than some of the others he's been in Japan long enough to adopt some standards to the culture like keeping those forms of intimacy to just you two. Plus, Adonis sees something like a kiss to the forehead as more intimate as a public display with how soft how close it really shows you off to teach others without needing some overt dominance. Gifts are another big thing, either handed to you or left somewhere you easily can access, like a work desk. Of course, some are bought gifts, but this can include letters he's written for the day, snacks, flowers, pre-released undead merch [specifically his], etc. Anything he can get his hands on seems to find its way to you with some sort of sappy attachment. Realistically he knows you can't hold onto everything he gives [and knows food/flowers can't last], but it seems if he doesn't see enough of his gifts, there will be a sudden influx of what you begin to receive to fill the perceived void. 

The last sort of big way Adonis would show this is by protecting you. For him, it doesn't matter how strong you actually are, physically or mentally. Things like size and capabilities aren't factors he tends to pick up on; he just believes that no matter what it is, it is his job to protect you. Whether or not it's because he subconsciously thinks of you as 'weaker' and it's his duty to protect others, he views it as that way, or that he sees it as his job in the relationship to do it is ambiguous. Still, regardless there seems to be a disconnect. If something at work is stressing you out, he'll do everything to remove it or lessen it, some paranoid fear about a person hurting you, he has the ability to keep you away from them. There often isn't an 'I just need to vent about this' type mindset for him because he thinks it's his job to just solve it; make your life easier. Protect you from anything negative even though it gets to a point it's him making the most negative impact. It is if anything deeply frustrating but hard to communicate and get him to see the faults in his actions, causing a cycle of just bickering into the void, having whatever is bothering you with his actions stop for a few days, only to have it return back to normal. 

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

This one I don't have much to say because I covered it above with how intense it gets and how it shows itself. The answer is pretty simple, but the main word to describe Adonis is clingy. Not in a literal sense necessarily, but one where even if he isn't around, it's like he's breathing down your neck. What is the media's depiction of a 'perfect boyfriend' and what many outsiders might deem the relationship as being really is just overbearingly clingy. Too many messages to count, and calls that were once sweet now feel more like an interruption. The snacks and meals are nice, you hate to complain about the food, but it can be sort of suffocating too. UNDEAD items you honestly can't escape from as there feels like a need to play the role of a supportive partner with as much merch he gives you… even worse if they aren't your favorite group, but it's not like you'd ever tell him that. You know that he wouldn't get angry, but he might sulk a little more and work double to make it, so they are, which really just sounds more draining for both of you. Easier to keep quiet and be happy over the new additions to your… UNDEAD shrine.

In the end, even when he's present, it's again nothing that far off from a normal relationship. You can freely go outside with or without him [although he does like to know where you are at all times just in case], but this never hinders dates. I mean, he still has to wear some form of disguise if it's too public more so that you don't get mobbed, but he is also a brick wall— hard to not notice him resulting in you often opting to stay in. You'll watch shows, cook, etc. As long as you're close enough and he knows what you're doing [mainly out of pure curiosity rather than monitoring], time together is all he asks for, so you can do whatever hobby you wish so long as he can hover around you. Cuddling is key, and much like if you are in public, there is likely some way he's touching you, even if it's just legs spread across his lap as you fiddle around with something online while making idle conversation with him. 

As mentioned, none of these things are bad; so much of it just feels like a regular relationship. It's hard to put into words to explain to others why things might feel off. Not bad, you're not scared by him doing something, but there is just something an inch below the surface that feels misplaced. Being with Adonis is just that everything is fractured slightly. You care for him. Being with Adonis is one of the few yandere who starts off as a genuine relationship between both parties being involved, but his love and suffocating presence are always lurking in the back of your mind. 

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The first fight and not for the reasons you might think. Being with Adonis, while he has his own issues of overbearing clinginess and unbreakable ideals, is not a bad partner to have. It's hard to see anything as 'bad,' and eventually, it gets to the point that you likely see yourself as the wrong one in the equation regardless of healthy boundaries. Essentially self, gaslighting yourself into thinking, 'why am I not like how he is?' or 'what is wrong with me for not being as happy as he is?' type of deal. It can get to a point where you force yourself to try to like him and dilute yourself into thinking this is how it's supposed to be or become essentially miserable that you can't have this same sense of adoration for him. Regardless, this type of feeling can't last and would likely lead to some form of burnout in the relationship. 

What makes it hell is the emotional toll all of this will take. The feelings of what's wrong with me, why am I not happy when others say I should be. Why is all of this so easy for Adonis when it is so hard for you? At some point, you forget this is an unhealthy relationship— it's not like he ever harms you. It's not like he doesn't try to invalidate your emotions or even try to give you space. He doesn't isolate you from friends or family, and even with other idols; sure, he's more grumpy than normal, but it's not like he does anything wrong to them. All of these feelings bubble and bubble and bubble, and more and more, the sadness and pain of just not getting it digs deeper into your heart. 

The first fight isn't even a fight. Honestly, you can't seem to remember it, but Adonis does seem to wince every time it's brought up. For you, it's almost a haze of crying and screaming and eventual numbness. You don't remember what you said or what he said. You can remember laying on the floor, curled up as best as you could, sobbing with Adonis hovering over you like a second shadow trying to calm you down. Part of you believes at that moment, he must have been a guardian angel, comforting you in one of your darkest hours. However, part of you believes he is a devil in disguise. One who wants to be an angel but cannot fulfill the role due to the nature of his circumstance truly matching within his idol persona. 

Things after this likely can never return to how it was. Adonis is still the same as he was before, and you… well, things seem duller no matter how much you try to let them go back to normal. You wonder if you will ever be able to return to how you once felt. To others, Adonis can only ever explain it as stress from everything seeming to have finally gotten to you; it's hard for him to accept the main factor was himself. But it's okay. Or it will be okay. He just has to work harder, and he'll always be there to make it that way. He promises-- it is his duty to protect those weaker after all. 

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

While most yanderes have one central point or influence that left them with these tendencies, Adonis has multiple that caused him to develop like this over an extended period of time. The thing is, most of these things by themselves aren't harmful, but it's the people and amalgamations of it all around him that eventually push him further and further into the extreme, eventually causing him to fall fully into his own delusions of what is 'normal.' 

The main one is likely the influence of media. Music, tv shows, plays— all of these are, let's say… not always the best way to gain an understanding of what romance is supposed to be like. The intensely devoted, no problems ever are sadly fiction. Or that things can just be magically lost forever when it takes both a lot of effort to make it do so, and most will not have their first love be their only love. It will always be a fantasy to have a love like this, but most people often struggle to learn this throughout the course of relationships. Much like how you might feel, 'why isn't my love the same as Adonis' mentioned in the last section, he felt the same way. Why isn't my love as strong as theirs in the show. Why isn't it as easy as the way this play Souma and him go to express it as. Their latest song was all about full devotion to someone. Is that how it's meant to be? In the end, all of this forces its way into shaping how he views love. Honestly, there rarely are depictions of what is a good progression of relationships and what is closer to the reality around love both in traditional stories and modern. It's easy to get lost in it all.

Even if it didn't feel right at first, there eventually comes a time he is able to quickly break down those feelings of it being wrong into being right. Self-brainwashing to conform to the media standards of love. And really, even if it is public that it's you who he's referring to, the industry would eat that shit up. It fits so well into the group's branding, and Adonis's call pulls off that strong, perfect love appeal so well. No one calls it out or tries to change it; half of them might think it's just some persona he's putting on for fans to swoon over. That validation just proves to Adonis though that he was right. Right? It's again just an unhealthy cycle of how media really doesn't promote what is realistic with love. 

The second would be wishful thinking. Adonis comes off as the type who would idealize love even without the impact that media has. That love, true love, can overcome all, and the first love he has is the real deal. There is something so wonderful to imagine that he can say it worked out. That his first was his only, and his passionate feelings from the start are burning just as strongly as they did then. Likely growing up, this was precisely that. A wish or fantasy, but when experiencing the progression of a relationship, it becomes less and less of just a wish and more of a goal. He wouldn't fail at this, and he could make it work and change this thinking into action. The fault of this is much like with media; a lot of this is all it can be. A wish or fantasy. The majority of people don't or can't make the wish of finding true love to have it last, and that's okay even more with something so complex as dating a celebrity/idol where there are so many external impacts that could cause distress. But all of the logic that he might have about it not working out because of so many factors is tossed aside for a hopeless romantic fantasy. Although, this is something that Adonis might struggle to admit to wanting even to you. 

The last leading factor is probably the fear of loneliness and not wanting to be alone. It's not really a secret that Adonis has difficulty connecting with others due to a language barrier and his personality. Even more than that, Japan can be a reasonably lonely country; it's hard to put making friends into action and create deep bonds that are often made worse when you are a foreigner. And while he has his fans, that opens up a whole other barrier and sense of loneliness because it is hard to connect on a deeper level with them. None of this is to say he doesn't have friends, especially within ES, Adonis is one to know he does have others to support and connect with, but there is a key difference between when that kind of bonds reach limitations with friendships versus a romantic one. It's easy to attach to someone and perceive the levels of bonding differently when dating, and that's why Adonis knows he cares deeply for his friends; it's not the same level of love he has for you. And it's scary to think about losing that, to be alone and not know where to direct those feelings anymore. Or that the comfort you can provide in a romantic aspect would be lost, and that sense of isolation from others will manifest. This is one where it's perhaps not a sentiment he publicly shares much, but in vague conversations with others at ES, they might express similar feelings, which in turn convinces Adonis to do everything he can to ensure a fallout doesn't happen. It results in pushing him more into a delusional mindset that rather than risking a fight or a 'rough patch,' he can keep a honeymoon period going, and in turn, there would never be a reason to leave. 

These types of issues are, I think, ones that would only really be onset by a committed relationship. While most yanderes might have sentiments that track to their childhood to explain their actions or some form of a traumatic event that resulted in a change to their perception of love, there wasn't really a way to predict that Adonis would fall into something like this. All of the factors might have been present from a young age, media influence didn't just magically appear, or this sort of wishful fantasy didn't randomly spark interest after a first date by any means, but for the longest time, Adonis probably would assume he could handle romance in a mature, healthy way. Most people around him think he is put together, too, so there wouldn't be a reason to inherently worry about him pursuing love, unlike others at ES. It's why this near-dramatic shift to being this way isn't something you or any other could put a stop to early on.  

[wattpadscapcons]

Thinking about completely restarting my account or just permanently moving to my alt and just doing the requests there. I literally almost have the same amount of posts as I do followers and it's overwhelming.

I could restart so easilyyyyyy! It's so tempting. And don't get me wrong when I say "restart" I don't mean deleting this account. Not that I hadn't thought about that before either with the way some people behave online.

Though I know either way that I'll have to update my DNI and make it clearer bc I've like... been triggered quite a few times this week alone? If you're going to follow me and still disrespect me that's fine, but triggering me? Ohhhh nooo, no, no, no, no, no, I won't put up with that shit.

=

Plus ppl have been like lowkey kinda just bothering me w/ the way they act??? Like I get when you make content other people like and become popular for that you can fall victim to parasocial relationships or idolization but I find that so dumb. Like, I'm a person, not some celebrity? Hello?? So to everyone who's been "afraid to talk to me" or suddenly pop up in my dms with no prompt (and have interacted with me less than 3 times in any setting) + have no interest in talking to me past the point of like sending those spam chainmail things that are all like "send this to [#] of people who made you happy this month" can you like....stop?

It's honestly really discouraging to think that someone from the fandom is messaging me just to give me some spam.

=

It'd be different if someone came into my dms and was all like: "Hey I really like your work/I find your work to be inspiring/It makes me really happy whenever you post about [character] bc I love them sm and the way you write them is comforting/whatever etc!" That actually starts a conversation, gives me feedback on my work, and overall creates more mutuals for me to just interact with.

Tagging me in those like "create your character" threads bugs me too bc I've already told people NOT to tag me in those and I guess some people missed that memo? I mean I know a lot of you interact that way for like fun, but I'm just not into that. You can talk to me in the comments or you can yell at me in the dms. Reblogging is for starting fights and sharing other people's art/writings/edits/articles/videos.

And don't come in here being all like "well I like your stuff all the time isn't that enough??" like that only tells me you bookmarked my work. That doesn't tell me that you actually enjoyed the piece & aren't just looking to make fun of me on some secret discord group chat or something. How do I know you even read what I wrote if you're in here just liking several of my posts and then never interact with my blog again?

=

And god forbid someone not want to interact with me bc of my age, WHY ARE YOU EVEN FOLLOWING ME THEN??? I get it, I must be a dinosaur to some of you. Respect your own DNI! Or even better yet, they don't agree with the people I'm friends with, like I have any affect one what they do with their time.

Give me back my anons that would just send in asks just to say hello or check up on me. This isn't fun anymore. I feel like every time I've talked about this stuff before it's gone totally under the radar.

'People don't care about what you think outside of your fandom writings blah blah blah.' I have the right to be sensitive here. I have the right to feel how I do. If you guys don't give a damn about me, my opinions, and my feelings then just unfollow me right now bc I honestly don't need that in my life.

[girlinwaytoomanyfandoms]

I know this isn't a request, but what are your inspirations???

Which one is more easier for you x readers or oneshots??

Short answer for oneshots/x readers: typically x readers. However, it depends on characters and if I can vibe with it.

Short answer for inspirations: writing and helping others.

Long answer for inspirations: writing and helping others. When I was younger, I HATED writing. It frustrated me. Grammar and spelling were irritating. I always had REALLY bad handwriting, so I could never see or understand what I wrote. Plus everything I wrote was graded and it wasn’t fun. However, I LOVED to read! I still do! It was something that I always enjoyed. Reading/storytelling. I would play barbies every day with my mom. I remember my mom told me that playing barbies was just writing without pen and paper and I started to write down things for us to play ranging from short “stories” to music playlists. I took a break and fell into a hard depression. It was really bad and it was hard to simple things. I had found out about Wattpad and AO3 and I remember reading stories on there all the time. The stories people wrote helped get me being able to start doing simple things after a while and I still go back to them for comfort years later. I remember that during that time, I had written my first few not school related oneshots and first ever x readers. I will never forget the day that someone commented on my post and told me that they found comfort in what I had wrote even though all I was doing was writing about how I felt. In that moment I knew that I not only could help people by writing about how I feel, but I also really like doing it. It brings me joy to know that I’ve helped to lighten someone’s load.

Long answer for oneshots/x readers: it really depends. Most of the time, x readers are easier, but every once in a while, they can become a bit more challenging. It depends on the character/characters I’m writing for.

For example, if I’m writing an x reader and the character the reader is in or soon to be in a relationship with I don’t like, it will be harder to write them.

Most of the time, oneshots/characterxcharacter are harder for me, unless the characters I’m writing I have a good grasp on them. It’s easy to write what a character will do in a situation if I know the character enough to be able to think like them. That’s the reason that x reader is typically easier for me. I can get into the head of someone that’s supposed to be “me.”

[kindahoping4forever]

You Feel Like A Holiday // Ashton Irwin

Of course the cabin would find its way into the Stage!Ash universe at some point! I was so excited when I came up with the concept for this Christmas fic last year, I actually paused writing the Halloween fic to start on this one lol. Thank you to @cal-puddies for enduring endless drafts of this and to everyone who requested the return of Stage!Ash over the past year, I always knew I'd get around to finishing these "lost" fics but I don't know that I'd have the confidence to post them so belatedly if it wasn't for the support and affection for this series.

This is somewhat of an ending to this series - I'd say it's enough of a conclusion to the emotional thread that if I never wrote this couple again, we'd all be satisfied but it's still open-ended enough for me to continue if it felt necessary. I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

Warnings: Boyfriend!Ash, Stage!Ash: Christmas Getaway Edition. So much soft, romantic shit it's actually embarrassing, like I was clearly going through something. Brief mention of weed use, 69 (simultaneous oral sex), needy sex by the fireplace, cockwarming. Seriously, though, this fic will absolutely call you single. I'm the person who wrote it and it hurt MY feelings.

Word Count: 12k

Encore: A Stage!Ash Series Masterlist

Masterlist // Ko-Fi linked above

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated!

You rub your tired eyes and roll over to face the chuckling man laying in your bed beside you. “Wait… what? Are you serious?”

Ashton answers with a soft smile as he reaches over to run a hand gently down your back. “Baby, you’ve been dealing with a lot of stress already before this back-and-forth game you have going on with your parents. ‘Can’t wait for you to come home for Christmas… no, actually don’t, it’s not safe… OK, come home but don’t bring guests… and since you’ll already be here, might as well all quarantine through New Year’s and spend that together’,” he recaps the past couple weeks of messages you’ve relayed to him. 

“I guess it has been a lot,” you admit.

“Soooo, would you want to go up to the cabin, turn our phones off and spend Christmas just the two of us?” He repeats his suggestion. 

You frown, thinking. “I dunno, Ash… didn’t you say Mike was having a thing at his place? Since you can’t go home, you should still be with family.”

“I would be,” he says simply.

As if his offer wasn’t enough to floor you, the casual way he notes how close you’ve become leaves you speechless. You stare in dreamy disbelief at your boyfriend; even after dating for half a year, you’re still not sure how to respond when his earnestness catches you off guard like this.

Ashton is unfazed by your silence, leaning over your pillow to press a kiss to your forehead. “You deserve a break and you know your parents will be thrilled to see you no matter what date the calendar says.”

He starts to lay back down but you stop him by taking his face in your hands and kissing him. The look in his eyes when he pulls away tells you he understands how much this conversation has meant to you. “I have been wondering when I’d get my invitation up there,” you tease.

“Well, this is obviously a pity invite,” Ash giggles, unable to keep a straight face. “Plus, it’s way too cold for Calum this time of year.”

You land a few playful jabs to his side before he scoops you up to lay on his chest and the two of you discuss logistics until you fall asleep.

You decide to head out a few days before Christmas since there’s a storm making its way up the coast and you want to be settled before any rain or snow starts up. Telling your family about your change of plans goes much smoother than you expected and by the time you’re sitting in Ash’s passenger seat, tucking into a hot coffee and breakfast sandwich, you’re feeling relaxed already.

“It’s an easy trip up, just a couple hours,” he explains as he climbs in the car, waiting all of 8 seconds before planting his hand on your thigh. He queues up the playlist he put together for the ride and mentions, “There’s a market just down the road from my place, figure we can make a quick grocery and firewood stop on the way.”

You raise his hand to your lips, kissing it before placing it back on your leg where it belongs. “Sounds like a plan,” you chirp enthusiastically. 

As promised, the drive flies by - it’s always easy to lose track of time when you and Ash get to talking. At the store, you stroll the aisles together, breezing through the necessities list you made on the ride there. As you’re tossing the last of your items onto the checkout counter, Ashton casually announces he forgot something, hands you his car key and credit card and vows to meet you outside. Your curiosity outweighs your suspicion and you play along, paying the bill and pushing the cart out to the parking lot.

Midway through putting the bags in the trunk, you laugh to yourself as you realize you’d recognize the sound of his keys jangling on his belt loop anywhere. You turn around to see a grinning Ash headed towards you with a boxed artificial Christmas tree hoisted over his shoulder and two bags containing ornaments and lights hanging off his arms.

“Ash,” you sigh. “You didn’t have to do this.”

He cheerfully brushes off your comment and carefully fits the box in the car. “Well, what’s Christmas without a tree?” 

“We’re literally going to a forest,” you reply playfully.

He giggles as he pokes your side, unwilling to let you deflect from how touched you are by his gesture. “You’re welcome, baby.”  He pulls you in, kissing your temple.

It only takes a few more songs on the playlist to arrive at Ashton’s cabin and it's as peaceful and cozy as you’d hoped it would be. The pictures you'd seen and stories you'd heard definitely made it seem like an idyllic getaway but as you follow Ash into the charming avocado green house, you’re still surprised by how instantly at home and welcome you feel.

“Lemme get this fire going and then I’ll give you the grand tour,” he promises, quickly unpacking the supplies from the market.

You nod agreeably, watching as he shrugs off his coat and starts working to set up the fireplace. The way his large frame contrasts the small living room, how he so easily hauls the wood around, how carefully his hands work to arrange everything - it all makes you want to curl up into him and let yourself drown in his warmth. You know there’ll be plenty of time for that later so for now, you just admire from afar.

With the fire now warming the cabin, Ashton shows you around, beaming as he points out which features are his favorites and what he thinks you’ll love. It’s not a large property by any means but it takes a while to move through the space since of course he has an anecdote for just about every piece of art or furniture he selected.

“I hope it isn’t too cold to hang out back here. At night we’ve got heat lamps and the fire pit and in the mornings, the sun hits everything so perfectly,” he comments as you follow him onto the large deck. “Having the forest right there, almost like it’s my backyard… I could stay out here for hours. Writing, smoking, just thinking… it’s perfect for just about everything. There’s nothing like this view.”

“I’ll say,” you flirt, sliding your arms around his waist and snuggling into his side. 

He laughs, giving you a squeeze. “That’s so cheesy!”

You shake your head. “It’s true! I love watching how you get when you’re passionate about something.”

“Well in that case,” he says, smoothly bringing you into a slow kiss.

You giggle as you pull away, “That was cheesy.”

The two of you work together to unload the car and get your belongings somewhat organized. The weather stays agreeable enough for Ash to fire up the barbecue and grill some burgers for an early dinner. The evening is devoted to moving the furniture around so there’s room to assemble and decorate the Christmas tree you both now apparently own. 

“You realize we’re going to all this trouble just so we can undo it all in a couple days and lug everything all the way home?” You tease as you grab the popcorn out of the microwave, emptying it into a bowl to cool before you string it.

“Nah,” Ashton jovially shrugs off your remark, stepping back to admire the lights he’s just finished wrapping around the tree’s branches. “It’s fake so we can just leave it up and deal with it next time we visit… stick the box in the spare room and it’ll be here waiting for us next Christmas.”

There it is again: the way your heart skips a beat, that familiar warmth that floods your veins whenever he talks about the future. You’ve been together a matter of months and yet he so easily references being with you in a year’s time, like it’s a given - not that he takes your presence for granted but that it’s only logical you’d be spending another holiday season together. You’ve found each other and you belong with him now, your plans are his and his yours.

As your mind processes these thoughts, you cross the room and do what you’ve become accustomed to doing when you’re feeling overwhelmed: you slip your arms around your boyfriend and bury your face in his back. The knitted sweater he’s wearing is scratchy against your face but you don’t care, you press yourself harder against him, inhaling deeply, letting both his scent and his body heat ground you.

You can tell Ashton’s not exactly sure why you’re feeling the way you are but he knows enough to let you take what you need from him in this moment. He separates your clasped hands from around his torso and takes one in each of his hands, holding them tightly as he crosses his own arms around himself, essentially helping you hug him. 

He sways with you for a moment before gently breaking the silence because it’s in his nature to. “Popcorn smells good.”

You smile into his back, pressing a kiss to the center before loosening your hold on his body. “I was thinking about throwing another bag in to snack on while we decorate. We’ve got plenty.”

He turns around and cups your chin to kiss you softly. “Perfect.”

The next morning, you roll over, intending to curl up against Ash but instead are met with the feeling of cold sheets and an unoccupied pillow; your eyes shoot open, lips forming into a pout. The sound of an acoustic guitar strumming in the distance softens your mood instantly and you get out of bed, sliding your feet into a pair of slippers and draping a blanket over the shoulders of the henley you stole from Ash to sleep in, and you follow the music out onto the deck.

You step outside and discover that not only is the weather surprisingly mild for a December morning, it’s apparently warm enough that Ashton is out here, barefoot and in his bathrobe, spread out on the patio couch with his guitar. As you walk over, you note the empty coffee mug, picked over bowl of fruit and half-finished joint in the ashtray sitting on the fire pit ledge - it looks like he’s been out here a while.

“Mornin’, baby!” He greets you cheerfully, moving to a cross-legged position to make room for you on the couch. “Hope the music wasn’t too loud?”

“The music was nice, the bed was just too cold without you,” you explain, giving him a quick kiss before you sit down, murmuring at the combination of coffee, smoke and citrus on his lips.

“Aww, poor baby,” Ash playfully pouts, reaching over to squeeze your knee through your flannel pajama pants. “I wanted to make sure I got some writing time out here before the storm, my creativity is always so different up here. I didn’t think you’d be a fan of the early wakeup call, so I let you be.”

“My hero,” you grin, leaning over to kiss him more thoroughly, happily scratching over the fresh stubble adorning his previously clean-shaven cheeks. “Mmm, can one of my Christmas gifts be you not shaving while we’re here?”

“Didn’t even consider bringing a razor,” he laughs, leaning into your touch. 

You settle back and relax on the couch, listening to him skillfully pluck the steel strings of his guitar while you help yourself to the breakfast he abandoned. Ash was right, the morning sun hits just right, warming your skin and casting a luscious glow across the deck. He pauses his playing to scrawl something into a notebook and you study him as you pick up the still burning joint from the ashtray and take a puff. The way the sunlight catches the natural highlights in his hair, that one particular curl hanging over his furrowed brow as he writes, his jaw clenching and unclenching in concentration. You weren’t kidding when you said this was your favorite view.

He reaches over to set the guitar aside and you feel your eyebrows involuntarily raise at how it causes his robe to pull open slightly, exposing even more of his bare chest. His dark chest hair is already a tempting invitation to touch but the gold medallion resting between his pecs somehow makes him look even broader than usual and you find yourself unable to resist any longer.

You take another hit and scoot closer to your boyfriend, brushing the hair out of his eyes as he leans over his writing. “Hi,” you coo innocently, placing the joint between his lips, letting him take a puff before you return it to your own mouth.

“Hi,” he responds, simultaneously suspicious and amused as he watches you reach for the ashtray. “What’s up?”

You bat your eyelashes coyly, running your hand through his curls and down to cradle the base of his neck. “Nothin’... just like watchin’ you.”

He smiles sweetly, clearly basking in your attention. He plants a playful kiss on your lips before pulling away to laugh, “I almost said ‘good thing I like being watched’ but that sounds like a conversation for a different time.”

Surprise and desire light up your eyes as you pull him in by the collar of his colorful robe. “OK, so we’re definitely revisiting this topic,” you giggle naughtily. You don’t mean to kiss him with the full force of the hunger you’re feeling, you meant to play it cool for a little while longer but it’s hard not to get carried away when you’re with him. He meets your energy, tongue playing with yours as his fingers nimbly unfasten the buttons of your shirt, making room for him to slide his hands inside to paw at your breasts; your hands dip inside his robe, rubbing at his defined chest, brushing through the hair you’d been so eager to touch.

Your hands eventually travel further down and you chuckle as it dawns on you that you don’t feel the waistband of his underwear. “Excuse me, sir, are you seriously out here naked under this robe?” You cackle, tugging at the belt until the fit loosens so you can explore more.

Ashton shrugs, proudly declaring, “Just tryin’ to be one with nature.”

“Hey, I thought the cold was supposed to make guys smaller,” you joke as you let your fingers graze his cock.

He replies with a smirk, “Well that clearly doesn’t account for those who have their gorgeous beyond belief girlfriend with them.”

The grin you’ve been wearing is so wide by now, your face almost hurts. “Well played, sir. Well played,” you nod, shifting down the couch to position yourself on your knees, between his legs.

“We should also revisit the topic of you calling me ‘sir’,” he quips, his laugh turning to a groan as you open the robe fully and dip down to roll your tongue over the head of his cock. 

He starts, “Baby…” but never finishes the thought, the rest of his words swallowed in the deep breath he takes while he watches you ghost your lips up and down his shaft, the both of you relishing the feeling of him growing harder as you work. He presses back into the pillow resting against the arm of the couch and softly runs a hand through your hair, letting his touch tell you how much he appreciates you.

Your eyes flit up to meet his when your lips close around him and glide down his length. You both keep eye contact as your warm mouth begins moving up and down, until you close your eyes to concentrate on taking more of him but even then, you can feel his gaze steady on you, his attention focused on every bob of your head and swirl of your tongue. You hear him sigh your name as he hits the back of your throat before you sloppily pull back up, letting your spit fall freely, dripping onto his cock, making him shiny and wet for you.

You lock eyes with Ash again as you lift your head, stopping to suck at his tip, making sure to exaggeratedly pout your lips to emphasize how wide you have to open your mouth to accommodate his size. Judging from his glassy-eyed, slack-jawed expression, it’s no surprise to you when his lips move as if he intends to praise you but no sound emerges. Leaving Ashton speechless - especially during sex - is no small feat and you feel both pride and confidence surge through you as you pull off with a loud pop to address him.

“Seems like you’re a fan of watching me too, aren’t you, babe?” You tease, pumping him slowly.

He blinks rapidly, as if the process will reset his weed and lust clouded mind. He finally gives a chuckle of your name as he lolls his head back. “Just look so fuckin’ amazing when you take me,” he purrs dreamily. “Can’t keep my eyes off you. Love watching you be so good to me.”

His compliment immediately stokes the fire in you and you don’t want to waste another second not pleasing him. “Well then, you’ll definitely love seeing this,” you promise. You brace your hands on his thighs as you lower your mouth on his cock again, this time determined to take him into your throat as much as you possibly can.

“Jesus, love,” he whimpers as you sink further and further on him. You flutter your tongue while you work him down and out of the corner of your eye, you see his fist clenching the material of his robe as he fights the urge to thrust into your mouth. “So fucking good, baby…”

You reach your limit and start to come back up, lungs burning as you repress your need to breathe in favor of maintaining a heavy suction on his cock while you pull off. As soon as your lips are off him, Ashton’s hands are on you, holding you as you pant, pulling you up to him.

“C’mere,” he coaxes, thumbs tenderly wiping at the tears on your cheeks and the drool on your chin. His lips peck at your neck as you catch your breath and as he moves in to finally slot his lips with yours, you hear the breathy “good girl” your mind has been craving.

“I’m not done yet,” you quietly protest against his lips.

His teeth tug at your bottom lip as he pulls away. “I know,” he grins. His hands travel down your back, slipping inside your pajama pants to squeeze your ass. “You were just making me feel so good, I was getting impatient to show you my appreciation.” 

“Well… that’s fair,” you say with an air of mock arrogance before melting with a half-moan, half-laugh as he nips at your skin.

“Can I take these off?” He asks, hooking his thumbs inside the waistbands of your pants and underwear. You nod and the two of you fumble and giggle trying to undress your bottom half; you’re finally freed of the offending clothes and Ash lets his hands roam your bare ass as he gives you a kiss that’s somehow both calming and frantic in its passion. You gasp into his mouth as he brings his hand between your legs, gently tracing through your wetness. He rasps, “Yeah… I thought so, baby… knew my girl was needing some attention.”

You quietly whine and rock against his hand, wrestling with your desire to finish the blowjob but now also tempted to seek out your own orgasm as soon as possible. “Always need this kind of attention from you,” you admit, sighing as he leans forward to bury his face inside your shirt, mouthing over your tits.

He kisses you, wild with need, before looking up at you with fire in his eyes. “I have an idea if you’re up for trying something?” 

You agree with a cautious laugh and then Ashton is helping you to turn around so that you’re straddling him but facing away. About halfway through following his direction, a switch flips inside your brain and you realize what he’s suggesting. You eagerly get yourself into position, propping yourself up on your hands over his crotch while you scoot the rest of your body down until you feel his breath between your legs.

“Good girl,” he praises in a quiet voice, deepening with desire.

“This experiment is gonna be over pretty quick if you keep calling me that,” you crack, reaching for his cock. He laughs, giving a playful slap to your ass. You laugh with him, “Or if you keep doing that.”

He chuckles, using his hands to encourage your body down within range of his face. He tentatively rubs his scruff around your inner thighs while you test your position by pressing chaste kisses to his balls. He checks in, “Comfortable, baby?”

“Except for when I think about the extreme close-up view you're getting of my asshole right now," you joke.

"Another topic we’ll revisit at a later date," he cackles, massaging your cheeks.

“Oh my god,” you laugh at his comment. Before you’re done giggling, he flattens his tongue and gives a long lick up your pussy. You groan out a surprised but relieved, “Oh my god.”

He continues, humming happily as he licks, nips and sucks at you, exploring how to best please you in this angle and position. You admit you were skeptical about this at first but as you subtly roll your hips over his face while you sink your mouth down on his cock, you think to yourself that your boyfriend might be a genius.

You easily find a rhythm with each other, communicating through murmurs and muffled sighs and you quickly get lost in pleasuring each other. Ash’s tongue diligently licks away at you while yours runs along the underside of his cock as you bob up and down. He’s the first to pull away, moaning your name loudly when you pull up and start lapping sloppily around his tip.

“Mmm, baby… that’s… yeah,” he rambles, letting out a long breath as your hand starts lightly working over his balls. 

Ashton regains his composure and continues his efforts, teasing your entrance before moving towards your clit with a slow drag of his tongue. He flicks over it a few times before fitting it between his lips and sucking gently. He increases the pressure, buzzing appreciatively and you’re not sure if he’s responding to your taste or the work you’re doing on him but the shiver it sends down your spine has you whining around him.

“Ash…” You sound desperate and slightly unlike yourself but the way he’s eating you feels too good for you to worry with self-consciousness. “God, keep… that… that, like that.”

He follows your jumbled instructions, fingers digging into the skin of your thighs as he struggles to hold your bucking hips still above him. You breathe deep to steady yourself before you take his cock into your mouth again, moving down his length in time with the strokes of his tongue on your clit. 

Your head spins as the entire situation threatens to overwhelm your senses: the cool morning air raising goosebumps on your exposed body while the bright sun and constant touch of Ashton’s hands work in tandem to warm your skin. The taste of the precum steadily leaking onto your tongue, the muted groans of praise coming from the man underneath you. The feeling of your body rocking back and forth, grinding against his face while sliding your mouth on his length, your mind on fire from both receiving and giving pleasure.

You pull off to lick up and down the sides of his cock, needing a moment to catch your breath but also needing to keep tasting him, keep pleasing him, keep hearing him fall apart for you. Ash’s tongue picks up speed, fluttering over your clit so rapidly you can’t do anything but bury your face in his thigh and moan.

“I know, I know, love… taste so sweet, baby, I feel like I can’t get enough,” he praises, pecking at your pussy softly. He rubs the small of your back soothingly, watching you try your hardest to keep stroking him despite being so close to the edge yourself. “Your hands always feel so nice on me, baby… make me feel so fucking good.”

You visibly perk back up from his compliments. “Always want you to feel so good, Ash… you deserve it,” you huff against his leg, hand determined to keep working him. “Always make me feel incredible… you should feel that way too… love being the one who gets to do it.”

He kisses your legs sweetly, loving your half-stoned, half-love-drunk ramblings. “No one else could ever make me feel like you do,” he declares. He gives your ass a squeeze before asking, “Think you’re ready to cum with me, baby?”

You let out a weak but agreeable mewl and right yourself, raising your head over him again. Your brain tries to formulate a sexy reply or a flirty joke but all you can think about is how badly you want to feel his tongue on you again, how you can’t wait to taste his cum splashing into your mouth. These thoughts swirl around your head as you lean in to swirl your tongue around the head of Ash’s cock. The whine it earns you from him is so viscerally satisfying to you, you briefly wonder if you might beat him to the finish line right now this second.

Your hands and mouth work over Ash while he resumes worshiping you with his tongue; he tightly grips your ass, pressing you further down onto his face, completely burying himself in your pussy. The wide surface of his tongue lavishes over every sensitive inch of you and as his lips close over your clit, you feel that familiar fire starting to build in your belly. You hollow your cheeks, doubling your efforts on him, determined to push him over the edge first. In an inspired moment, you decide to carefully run your nails over his inner thighs, knowing he might appreciate the surprisingly sharp feeling. You hear his muffled reaction from behind you and when you press down just a little bit harder, you feel his cock jump on your tongue. 

The both of you expertly work each other’s bodies, tirelessly sending the other barreling towards their release until finally it’s as if time slows down, allowing you to feel everything happening at once. Your hips jerk over his face and you feel the pleasure start rippling through your core. Ashton groans against you as his cock begins pulsing, flooding your mouth with his cum, the vibrations of his outburst amplifying the sensations of your own climax. Your brain and body feel overloaded with stimulation as you try to concentrate on swallowing all that he’s giving you while still losing yourself in the endless waves of your orgasm.

The intertwined sounds of your combined satisfaction eventually fade into blended gasps and pants and you feel Ash tenderly stroking the backs of your thighs as your upper body suddenly goes slack, your head falling onto the couch, exhausted. He sweetly pecks over your skin for a beat, letting you have a moment before gently tapping your leg, saying, “Come kiss me.”

You smile into the couch cushion at the simplicity of his request; the joy that washes over you in that moment gives you the strength you need to pick your body back up and turn yourself around to lay on his chest.

“There’s my girl,” he coos, gathering the fallen sides of the robe he’s wearing and wrapping them around you, cocooning you to him. You press your lips to his and neither of you comment on how the taste of one another lingers on each other’s tongues but the revelation is so simultaneously filthy and intimate, you feel absolutely intoxicated by the time the kiss is finished.

You look at him, dazed smile on your face. “That was…”

You can’t find the words to describe it but he agrees nonetheless. “Definitely.”

“I forgive you for leaving me alone in a cold bed,” you tease.

He cackles loudly. “Oh? Never would’ve guessed.”

That blend of goofy tenderness becomes the brand of the day. You finally make it off the couch and inside to share a more substantial meal and a hot shower. After checking the forecast, Ashton excitedly shares that the inclement weather isn’t scheduled to hit until late night, so you decide to make a quick trip down to the store for a few things you’d wished you’d bought yesterday.

You’re steering the cart towards the parking lot when, just like your previous trip, Ash tosses you the key, saying he has to go back for something.

“We don’t have room for another Christmas tree, Ash,” you tease.

He mockingly repeats your joke before kissing your cheek and taking off in the opposite direction. There’s only a few bags to load into the trunk this time so you’re all packed up before he makes it back. You lock up and turn to push the basket towards the return aisle at the end of the row when you see Ashton emerge from the store holding a bouquet of roses. You feel your face warm instantly and you stop, holding onto the cart tightly to collect yourself. You realize you’re swooning as you watch him, looking sleek in his long trench coat and boots, bright smile adorning his face as he joyfully brings you fresh flowers for seemingly no reason, and it hits you that you've lost track of how many times he’s made you literally weak in the knees.

You finish putting the cart away and you start towards him, figuring you’ll meet him halfway. He spots you when he makes it onto your row and smoothly moves his hands behind his back to obscure the gift but as you get closer, he reads your expression and accepts defeat.

He laughs and calls out, “You saw already, didn’t you?” 

You grin, nodding sheepishly. “Didn’t mean to but you caught my attention… so unlike me, I know,” you giggle, skipping your steps a little to get to him faster.

As soon as he’s within reach, you wrap your arms around his neck and bring him down to your lips, unwilling to wait another second to show him your appreciation. He happily reciprocates your affection and holds you tightly to him with one arm as he pulls away to give you the flowers.

“I don’t know… I saw these on our way out and thought you should have them,” he shrugs, almost blushing and it’s so adorable you’re having a hard time not immediately interrupting him for another kiss. “Think they’d look nice on the nightstand on your side of the bed.”

“They’re perfect,” you gush, gleefully inhaling their sweet scent. “And you’re not so bad either.”

The rest of the afternoon is lazy and comfortable. The two of you head back out to the deck and hang out in blissful silence: Ash occasionally strumming his guitar but mainly writing in his journal, you busy with the holiday needlepoint kit you bought at the market because it seemed like a cabin-y activity to try and you figured you could send the finished product home to your parents. 

When it gets a bit too cold to stay outside, you help Ash move and cover the patio furniture for the storm and start discussing dinner. He picks out a record to play and gets the fireplace going while you throw some soup on the stove because it’s easy and sounds cozy on such a chilly night. You eat and talk and when you’re done eating, you sit at the table and talk some more. Since you cooked, he suggests you go relax by the fire and he’ll tackle the clean up; you put on another album, grab your needlepoint and a blanket and stretch out on the couch.

He comes into the living room a while later, carefully carrying two mugs of hot cocoa and the bag of mini marshmallows you bought earlier. “Didn’t know how many you’d want,” he explains, dropping the bag in your lap as he sets the mugs on the coffee table in front of you. You murmur your thanks as you curl your legs under you so he can sit down. After a short but heated debate over the proper amount of marshmallows that belong in a serving of hot chocolate, you sit quietly and enjoy the fire together.

Ashton gets up to throw another log in the fireplace. He looks back at you, snug on the couch with your project and smiles, asking thoughtfully, "Do you think you could ever live like this?”

“Is this a romantic ‘what if’ scenario about the two of us specifically or like a value based, practical conversation?”

He laughs, lifting your legs and setting them in his lap as he sits back down. “Practical.”

You take a sip, thinking. “I don’t know… I love how quiet it is up here, love how remote it is, how removed it feels from everything. Obviously it's gorgeous. But I definitely feel like there are things about ‘city life’ that I'm not sure I'd be able to give up.”

“OK, see, that’s the thing - I feel like I should be embarrassed saying this but… I like the city?" He says, with equal parts passion and incredulity. "I like that anything you want is so readily accessible at any time, I like meeting dozens of new people everyday, I like getting bored at 10pm on a Saturday night and knowing I’ll always be able to find somewhere to go and it’s anybody’s guess if it’s going to be a worthwhile endeavor but goddamn, good or bad, it’s gonna be memorable… No two nights are ever the same in LA and I find that beautiful.”

You rub over his arm, fondly, enjoying his passion. “I feel the same way, if I’m really honest with myself. It’s like the simplicity here is quaint to us now because we're not used to it and we know we’re only going to be here so long. But once the novelty wore off, that monotony would be a tough adjustment for some people."

He plays with the hem of your sweats. “But I think I would like to get to the point where I don't feel like I need those other things. Where I could sustain a life out here, or somewhere like this. Something pure, something free… more natural, I guess.”

“I think you could, you’re very resourceful and adaptable and very at peace with yourself," you muse, nudging him. "I think you’d be able to recreate those 'city' experiences or find something that gives you those same feelings out here on your own.”

“Doesn’t necessarily have to be on my own,” he points out, nudging you back.

You tease, “You really think being in my presence is on the same level of thrills as living in the city?”

“I mean, you’re pretty cool, baby, but I was actually talking about moving Calum out here with me,” he zings, howling as you jab your foot into his side.

You get up to take your mugs to the kitchen and when you come back, he’s still pensively looking at the fire. You sit beside him, spreading your blanket out over the both of you and he resumes the conversation, chuckling, “I was actually meant to spend most of the summer out here. Wanted to give myself kind of a test run, see how long I could make it. Until I met someone who made me rethink the pros of city life." He winks at you, reaching for your hand.

You laugh, squeezing his fingers. “That's sweet, Ash, but let’s not gloss over the fact you were also recording an album with your band that required you to be in the city too.”

He shakes his head vehemently. “Nah, my summer project was gonna be converting the attic into a studio so we could at least lay down demos here,” he shares. “That’s why Cal and I spent that week up here right before we met, we were taking pictures and planning.”

You sit all the way up, staring at him in disbelief. “So you’re saying you fully intended to spend the entire summer in the mountains, renovating your cabin so you could live and work out here and just because you happened to meet some random girl at a party, you scrapped the whole thing and stayed in the city just to hang out?”

He giggles, kissing your temple. “I wouldn’t put it like that - things just kept getting put off because I kept finding other ways to spend my time that interested me more.” Your shocked expression doesn’t waver and the grin he's wearing only seems to grow wider, dimples sinking even deeper into his cheeks.

You shake your head. “Can’t decide if that means you were crazy about me or just plain crazy.”

He shrugs, pulling you closer. “Why not both?”

In the morning you roll over and are pleased to discover your boyfriend still sleeping next to you. While the thought of snuggling into him and drifting back off to sleep is immensely appealing, you decide you have a better idea. You ease out of bed and down to the kitchen where you start preparing eggs, bacon and coffee for the both of you. You hum quietly to yourself as you cook, happy to be able to do something for Ashton since so much of this trip has been about him treating you.

The meal is cooling on the counter and you’re standing at the sink rinsing the last frying pan when you feel the fuzzy fabric of Ash’s robe brush your skin and his arms slink around you. A shiver runs down your body as his scruff tickles your skin as he buries his face in your neck and grumbles, “You’re right, it gets fuckin’ cold in that bed.”

“Sorry, babe,” you sing song, reaching behind you to scratch at his beard, which is filling in nicely. “Wanted breakfast to be a surprise.”

His deep, scratchy morning voice teases, “What if I wanted to eat somethin’ a little sweeter for breakfast?” and he nibbles along your neck while his hands run down your body before tugging at the drawstring on your sweatpants.

A naughty grin spreads across your face and you close your eyes for a beat to enjoy the work Ash’s tongue is doing behind your earlobe. You don’t know if you’ll ever get over the fact that he’s as hungry for you as you are for him. “Play your cards right and you might be able to have dessert for lunch.” You dry your hands with a dish towel and spin around in his hold to face him.

You fling your arms around his neck and he lets out something between a sleepy sigh and a growl when you move in for a kiss. “Love when we compromise,” he jokes against your lips. You communicate silently with your tongues for a moment before he pulls back to coo, “Merry Christmas Eve, baby.”

Breakfast is a bit rushed because Ashton wants to hurry outside to take pictures with you in the fresh snow before the weather gets too crazy. But he’s sure to give your thoughtful gesture its due, exaggeratedly moaning at every bite and offering you multiple hyperbolic compliments during the meal. You stand up to clear the table but he objects, dragging you to the bedroom to get dressed, promising he’ll clean it all himself once you come back inside from seeing the snow. 

You know it’s pointless to push back when he’s this determined about something plus it is pretty cute how excited he is, so you humor him, quickly pulling on some leggings. By the time you’re slipping one of his hoodies over your head, he’s already headed out the sliding door to find the best place to set his phone up on the deck railing.

“You want me to grab your coat for you?” You poke your head out the door and ask, puzzled by his choice to go out in just his henley and jeans. 

Ash shakes his head. “Nah, we won’t be out here long,” he insists, blissfully unconcerned by the temperature despite his breath instantly forming a frosty cloud in front of him as he speaks.

You skeptically watch him shuffle around the deck for a few more seconds before you pull the door shut behind you. “Babe, you don’t even have your boots tied! We’re not gonna get snowed out in the 30 seconds that’ll take, come on,” you laugh, tugging on his hand.

He lifts your hand to his mouth, pecking it softly, giggling as you yank it away when his cold nose brushes your skin. “I will, baby, I will,” he promises while making a beeline for the stairs leading off the side of the deck. “I just need to check…” 

You can only guess what the last part of that sentence is because suddenly he’s disappeared from view with a surprised yelp and you hurry over to the edge of the deck, peering over just in time to see him roll onto his back, laughing hysterically. Judging by the amount of snow shaking out of his beard as he laughs, you make the assumption that he did a full face plant. Stifling your own laughter, you grab his phone off the rail and snap a handful of photos of the spectacle, which only makes him laugh even harder.

“Slippery?” You call down to him with a grin.

Ashton shrugs, laughter still rattling through him. “Slippery, missed a step, should’ve put my shoes on right.”

“Ah, the trifecta,” you tease, making your way down to him.

“Just trying to make this trip as memorable as possible for you,” he jokes. You start making your way down to him and you can’t help but feel soft about the quiet “Careful, baby” he warns you with as he watches you descend the stairs.

You stand over him and he cackles as you click a few more choice pictures. “Come on, baby, help me up,” he requests, casting a hilariously dramatic pout on his face to sell his plight.

“Just one more thing,” you reply before plopping yourself into the snow next to him.

He gasps your name as you settle in next to him, stretching your arms out to take selfies of the two of you in the snow. “Baby, no,” he protests, fussing over the way your sweatshirt has ridden up and exposed your skin to the cold. “We don’t need to both be shaking and wet.”

“Thought you preferred me that way,” you tease, pecking his cheek for one last picture. “Besides, I’m a loyal gal. Stand by your man and all that.”

“Or lay down in the snow by your man?” 

“Exactly,” you laugh with him, happily letting him lead you into a sweet kiss.

Although you ostensibly came down to aid his fall, Ash easily gets back on his feet and extends a hand to you, pulling you up alongside him. Even though he’s notably more snow covered than you are, he still instinctively brings you in, rubbing his hands up and down your arms, trying in vain to warm you up. 

“You’re basically a popsicle trying to warm up an ice cube, babe,” you laugh, teeth slightly chattering towards the end of your sentence.

He snorts, conceding defeat, and takes your hand, leading you past the deck - presumably to avoid the slippery stairs that led to this predicament - and around the house to the front door. 

“Off,” he commands, tugging at your wet clothes as soon as you get inside. He quickly yanks his henley up over his shoulders, steps out of his pants and heads further into the house, moving too fast for you to get a flirty joke out about his advice. You strip down to your underwear and follow him into the living room, where he’s adjusting the fireplace, completely naked.

“I’m gonna selfishly ask you to be careful over there,” you giggle, annoyed that your voice sounds so shaky because of how cold you are.

Your obvious shivering catches his attention and he shifts his gaze over to you. He frowns, gesturing at your bra and panties. “Aww, baby… get those off too and come stand by the fire.” He grabs the flannel blanket off the couch and drapes it over your back, using it to pull your now naked body against his. “I’ll grab us some sweats and something hot to drink in a few, just wanna get us both situated.”

Ashton holds you tight against him, rubbing over your arms just like he did outside, his efforts much more effective with the aid of the roaring fire. Finally warm enough to drop your arms from around yourself, you slide them around his waist, instantly noting how cold and damp his back still is.

“Ash…” You pout, struggling with the blanket around you, fruitlessly trying to pull it to reach more of his body. You offer, “Let’s get another blanket, babe, get you covered too.”

“I’m fine, baby, want you warm first,” he insists, emphasizing his point by rubbing your arms faster.

“Ash, you’re not fine, you’re standing here with your entire ass out.”

“Thought you preferred me that way.”

You can’t help but crack up at both his joke and his stubbornness. You shake your head and sigh, “I love you.”

The words hang in the air and though you said them, you seem to hear them at the same time he does and the two of you freeze and look at each other, wide eyed. You’ve had that thought many times and even considered saying it out loud once or twice but you were never sure if the time was right. You can’t fathom why your brain decided that now, arguing over a blanket while you’re naked and freezing, was the right time for you to blurt it out, but what’s done is done.

It’s only been a moment but the silence feels endless and you’re dying to fill it. You laugh nervously and stammer, mind racing faster than your mouth can speak. “Well. Um. I… uh… I mean…” 

Ashton appears to be speechless - an event you’ve only seen happen one or two times since you’ve known him - but he sees the panic on your face and he subtly shakes his head, snapping himself back to reality. He squeezes your hands and brings them to his lips to kiss them sweetly. “Baby… I love you… have for a while,” he says with a soft, reassuring voice and smile to match. 

A wave of relief rushes over you, though you’re not quite sure why. You were sure Ash loved you - you feel it every day in the way he smiles at you, the way he cares for you, the way he kisses you - and you were confident your confession wasn’t a surprise to him either. But saying those words and hearing them repeated back still feels monumental. You find yourself overwhelmed and you toss your arms around his neck, pulling him into a passionate kiss. He immediately reciprocates, squeezing you tight to him, humming approvingly. 

With your arms around each other, the blanket covering you inevitably falls to the ground but neither of you notice, warmed by the other’s embrace. It’s not until he pulls back to cradle your face that he deduces your trembling is likely due to the temperature instead of emotion.

He sympathetically sighs your name, pecking your lips once more before pulling back to grab more pillows and blankets from the couch, making a quick makeshift bed by the fire. “C’mere, baby,” he coos.

You join him on the ground, crawling under the blanket he’s holding open for you and settling onto your side, snuggling against his chest. He wraps the flannel material and then his arms around you, pressing silly wet smooches around your face before landing one on your lips, which you waste no time in deepening. You kiss lazily for a few moments, still processing everything that just happened but with each kiss, confirming the sentiments that you just expressed to each other.

Ash is the first to finally break away, breathing deep, stroking your hair back as he smiles at you. You smile back, scratching at his beard. “I love you,” you repeat, confidently this time. You laugh, “I’ve stopped myself from saying it so many times, I guess I just couldn’t keep it in anymore.”

He grins, sweetly replying, “I love you too… can’t say this is quite how I imagined telling you but…”

You interject with a giggle, “Oh? And how often would you imagine professing your love for me?”

“Hmm… just about every fucking day the past few months,” he shrugs, with a good natured smile, knowing you’re teasing him but insistent on being sincere. “Probably since you came to that first show and I saw how naturally, how easily you fit in with all the other parts of my life that I love.”

You pout, kissing him because you don’t know how else to respond. You murmur against his lips, “Well. Naked by the fire is pretty romantic. Weird context, but still.”

“Anywhere with you is a dream come true, baby.”

You sigh and bury your face in his chest, suddenly needing to feel engulfed by him. He wraps himself around you, warming you, loving you. He tugs your hair after a moment, raising your head to look at him. He doesn’t say the phrase again but you can see it as clear as the hazel in his eyes. He loves you. You place your hands on either side of his face and deliver a slow but quietly heated kiss to his lips.

Ashton’s touch begins to wander, appreciating the convenience of your already naked body. His hands untangle from your hair and move tantalizingly slow down your back to grip your ass before caressing over your sides to palm your breasts. He pinches and rolls your nipple between his fingers, leaving you moaning into his mouth; you return the favor, rubbing over his chest and he moans similarly. You feel his cock swelling against your stomach and you instantly ache for it.

“Ash,” you breathe, stroking him gently. 

He nips at your jaw, groaning. “I know, baby,” he soothes, pulling your leg over his hip. “Need you too.” He runs his hand through your wetness and coats his cock with it, his fingers grazing yours, the both of you working to ready him for you. He grips your waist as you bring his tip to your entrance and gently push him inside. 

“Ashton,” you sigh in relief, grabbing onto his shoulder as you continue to take him. He slowly starts rocking against you and you let out a series of low moans in sync with his movements. “Feels so good, babe… so good. I love it.”

“Love you,” he insists, grabbing your ass, trying to get you closer. “Nothing better than being in you, baby. ‘S where I belong.”

Mind and body both overwhelmed, a needy whimper pours from your throat. “Ash… need you like this all the time,” you pant, clinging to him while he picks up the pace. “Never felt like this with anyone. Not just this, I mean… I don’t think I’ve ever felt this much for someone.”

There’s so much more you could say but every thought in your mind has been replaced by a seemingly endless chant of Ashton, Ashton, Ashton. How well he’s filling you, how adoringly he’s looking at you, how desperately he’s rasping your name. His lips on your neck, his thumb on your clit, his fingers gripping your thigh as he raises your leg higher, trying to thrust into you deeper. It’s all too much and your nails drag down his back as your orgasm starts to overtake you.

“Yes, baby, yes,” he encourages, keeping his rhythm steady. “Let me feel it, love. That’s it.” You cry out and he groans alongside you as you squeeze around him. He holds you tight, fucking you through your climax and shortly after, you feel his back muscles tensing underneath your grip; before you have a chance to react, he’s whining your name and his cock is pulsing inside you. He buries his face in your neck as he cums and you soothingly stroke his hair as he relaxes against you. You lay in silence, holding each other in the afterglow, letting your pounding hearts speak to each other, saying all the words you can’t seem to find.

After a hot shower, a cuddly nap and a dinner that the two of you prepare together, you spend the evening drinking cocoa on the couch, the living room illuminated only by the fire and the Christmas tree lights. You trade stories of past holiday memories and share a few dreams for future ones, ones Ashton’s now more confident than ever that you'll be spending together.

The howling wind of the snowstorm wakes you early the next morning; another gust hits, rattling the bedroom’s sliding glass door. Your boyfriend stirs, mumbling something incoherent but clearly concerned. 

“Think that’s the sound of a White Christmas, babe,” you chuckle sleepily, reaching over to rub at his bearded cheek.

“Ooh, that’ll be nice,” he mutters. He moves your hand to his lips, smooching it before turning you on your side so he can spoon you. 

His warmth - physical and emotional - surrounds you as his arms envelop you and he mumbles sweet nothings against your hair. He shifts closer and the happy hum you’re emitting becomes a suggestive whine as you feel his morning wood nudging your ass. “This a stocking stuffer for me?” You joke, wiggling against him.

“Never too early for a little Christmas cheer,” he giggles, pressing into you more. His voice is heavy with sleep, his joyful laugh octaves lower than it usually is and it makes you feel like you’re on fire.

“Little is definitely not the word I’d use, babe,” you laugh, yawning through it as you turn over. You look at him, eyes tired but hungry. “You wanna?” You grip him through his flannel pajama pants, groaning quietly when you feel how rock hard he is. You love having him in the morning, it quite literally hits different.

“Baby,” he rasps, grabbing your wrist before you add any more pressure. “Always yes but also no, it’s so fuckin’ early… let’s sleep a little more. Soak in the tub together later.” 

He leans in and kisses you with a heat that feels contrary to the plan he just laid out. You bite his lip as he pulls away. “Want you now, though,” you murmur, palming him again, just because you love the feeling of him hard, even if it wasn’t your doing. 

Ash smiles knowingly. “My girl feeling needy this morning?” You nod with a playful pout that he plants a kiss directly onto. He turns you back onto your side and aligns his erection with your backside again. “Could just slip in while we lay here…”

“Yes,” you cut him off, not needing to hear any more details. He chuckles at your eagerness as he reaches for the bag on the nightstand and you hurriedly pull down your pajamas and underwear. The slick sounds of him spreading lube on his cock riles you up to the point that you look over your shoulder and half-jokingly state, “Babe, if I have to keep listening to that, we’re not gonna need lube anymore.”

He snorts, giving your ass swat before settling in behind you. “Need it that bad, huh?” You nod, proudly owning your desire. His tip nudges between your legs and you bite your lip in anticipation. His fingers dig into your hips as he slides in and the two of you moan together as he moves deeper and deeper until he’s fully inside you. You both adjust and get comfortable and once you stop squirming, he checks in, “How’s that feel, love?”

“Full,” you answer dreamily. He nuzzles the back of your neck, sliding his hands underneath your sweatshirt, one carressing your tummy, the other grabbing your breast. You let your head fall back against him and you close your eyes, focusing on the satisfying but grounding feeling of his cock inside you: thick, rigid, undeniable but undemanding. His warm hands on your body, his lips grazing your skin, how his breath syncs with yours as you relax in the stillness of each other. You’re almost caught up by how much emotion you suddenly feel so you just offer him a quiet, “Love you.”

“Love you, baby,” he answers, soft and slow, smiling as he feels you relax in his arms as you drift back to sleep.

You wake up alone a few hours later but before the disappointment has a chance to sink in, Ash is walking through the door with a steaming hot mug of coffee for you.

“Merry Christmas, love!” He greets you cheerily. He sets the cup on the nightstand next to your flowers and leans down to kiss you. “Didn’t want to wake you until I had the fire going out there, something warm for you to drink.”

“Sweet of you,” you pout, pulling him down for another kiss before you take a sip. “What should we make for breakfast?”

“Started some French toast already, thought I’d wait until you were up and around before I put the bacon on so we could eat it crispy,” he reports, beaming at you. You smile back, hearts surely shooting out of your eyes, he’s so cute when he’s excited.

The excitement continues when you join him in the kitchen a few minutes later, after you’re clothed and caffeinated. The Christmas music pouring from the stereo is easily drowned out by the gleeful sing-song of your name he lets out when he sees you approaching. You head for the cabinet, figuring you’ll set the table but Ashton steps away from the stove as soon as you’re within reach, pulling you into a bear hug and smothering your face with kisses.

“You’re touchy today,” you comment, ruffling his hair as he moves back to attend to the food.

“Says the woman who refused to go back to sleep without the aid of my dick,” he teases, reaching back over to give your ass a light smack.

You watch him carefully plate the food and carry it over to the table, where he’s already set your gifts for each other by your placemats. He comes back to the stove and you press your face into his back, placing a kiss between his shoulders. “This all smells delicious, babe. Everything you’ve done for me this week has been so sweet and special and I wanna make sure you know I appreciate it.”

He turns around and answers simply with a smile. “It’s a special time and I’m glad I get to spend it with you.”

You’re halfway through breakfast when you can tell he starts getting antsy about the gift exchange; you’re not sure if it’s nerves or impatience but to be honest, you’re surprised he held out even this long. 

“Maybe three cups of coffee before noon wasn’t the best idea for today,” you crack, stilling his bouncing knee. 

“Slow day for me,” he jokes, flashing you a sweet but apologetic smile.

You decide to cut him a break and you scarf down your last few bites so you can take the plates to the sink and quickly wipe the table down, ensuring sure your gifts are safe from any syrupy stickiness.

“Do you want to go first?” You offer, handing him the big box on the table addressed to him.

His eyes light up but he tries to play it cool, responding, “Whatever you’d like, baby.”

You sit back and giggle as he oohs and aahs over the wrapping before he tears into the package. He uncovers a plain brown shipping box and makes a big show of weighing it in his hands, shaking it around to see if he can detect what’s inside. He finally opens it, digging through the tissue paper to pull out a vinyl record with a photo of Los Angeles on the cover. He doesn’t recognize the picture so he turns the album over to investigate the track listing and your heart melts at the way his face softens when he sees the back cover art is a photo collage of your past six months together. Pictures he’s taken of you, you’ve taken of him, pictures of you two together, pictures of places you’ve been. His eyes drift to the track listing and he quickly recognizes the selections are of the same theme, highlighting moments of your time together.

“These songs!” He says in awe, reading it over. “How did you even pick these?”

“It was hard to whittle it down so that it all fit on one record. But there were certain songs I knew had to be on our soundtrack,” you answer with a grin. You get out of your seat and kneel next to his, pointing to some tracks. “These are ones I remember watching you rehearse endlessly in your basement over the summer. And these are from that playlist you were obsessed with the first few times we went out.”

“Oh yeah,” he laughs, remembering. He points to another song. “We slow danced to this while I was waiting to get called to the press line at Global Citizen.”

“Mmm hmm,” you confirm, touched he remembers. You run your finger down three titles. “These are from the records you found at that thrift shop we went to and you insisted I come back to your place to listen and that night was --”

“The first time we had sex,” he finishes the memory, smiling. “This first track… did we talk about that song the night we met?”

You nod happily. “Some other song was playing at the party and we couldn’t decide what it reminded us of. You figured it out and played it for me on your phone.”

“Wow,” Ashton sighs, staring at the song titles, snapshot memories of your relationship flashing in his mind. “This is incredible, baby. It’s so thoughtful… I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t need to say anything, then,” you say softly, sitting up to draw him into a tender kiss. “Music just sounds different… better ever since I met you.”

“Baby,” he breathes, quickly kissing you again. He clears his throat and you detect a slight break in his voice as he offers a soft “Thank you.”

You squeeze his leg and move back to your seat, overjoyed by his reaction. You’re curious to know what’s inside the pretty package with your name on it but you want to give him as much time as he needs to process all that he’s feeling right now, so you sip your coffee and watch as he continues to stare at the custom record.

He finally tears his eyes away from it, announcing, “We're gonna listen to this by the fire.” He scoots your gift closer to you, cooing, “Your turn, my love.”

The gift is so beautifully wrapped, you almost feel bad ripping it open but with Ash’s eager eyes encouraging you, you dive in. You toss the gift wrap aside and lift the lid on the box, finding two thick leather bound journals; as you begin to thumb through the first one, you see Ashton’s handwriting filling about a quarter of the pages and it dawns on you that this is what you’ve seen him writing in all week.

He sees your wheels turning and he begins to explain. “So there’s two parts to this: I wanted to tell you how I felt about some of my favorite memories with you so far. That’s what those pages are.” He leans in and flips to a few pages that are blank, save for some dates scrawled in the corner. “I thought maybe you could write down your thoughts and memories of those same days here. And then if you wanted to, you could share your thoughts about any other days you wanted to remember and give it back to me and I’d write about the days you picked and we could just go back and forth like that.”

“Ash, that’s so sweet,” you start, heart immediately warmed.

“And then,” he continues, picking up the second book. “This one is blank. I have one just like it. I was thinking when I leave for tour, we could write in them a little bit every day and then swap when we get to see each other, so we can kind of catch up.”

“Babe.”

He smiles wistfully. “I know we’ve still got a while. And I know we’ll talk on the phone and I know you’ll visit but… I’m gonna miss being a part of your everyday and you being a part of mine. And maybe this can give us a little of that back. And it’ll be nice to see how different our lives are from day to day but the emotions of missing each other and looking forward to seeing each other, that’s gonna be the same.”

“I think it’s a great idea and I love it and I love you,” you enthuse, setting the box on the table so you can get up and climb into his lap. You wrap your arms around him, hugging him tightly. “I can’t wait to read what you’ve already written.”

He giggles, “Wrapped it last night after you fell asleep but after this morning, I had to crack it back open and add a little more.”

You exaggeratedly drop your jaw in faux shock. “There’s saucy content in my romantic journal?”

He snorts, pinching your ass. “Baby, think about our relationship and tell me how many G-rated memories you think we’ve had.”

“Guess you’re right,” you laugh, stroking your chin, pretending to think. “God, why are you such a slut for me?” He jabs your side as you dramatically try to escape his hold, yelping until he silences your protests with a soft kiss.

Hours later, after the two of you have finally taken successful pictures in the snow, cooked another simple but delicious dinner together and taken that bath he promised you hours ago, you find yourself on the couch once again with a mug of cocoa, watching Ash prod at the fire. He smiles at you before he moves over to the stereo to flip over the record you made him, pulling his cardigan tight around his broad chest.

“It got chilly tonight,” he comments as he shuffles into the kitchen to grab his mug out of the microwave.

You hold your blanket open for him in response and he settles in next to you, tucking the both of you in. You rest your head on his shoulder, watching the fire, listening to the music you fell in love to; though the temperature outside is freezing, you don’t think you’ve ever felt so warm.

The record spins the next song and your mind travels back to Ashton’s car the night of your first kiss. A thought enters your mind and you can’t help but share. 

“Do you ever think about what you’d be doing right now if we hadn’t gotten together?”

He strokes your hair tenderly as he considers his response. “I try to go out of my way not to think of scenarios where I’m not with you,” he admits.

“I mean, it’s not my favorite topic either but it crosses my mind sometimes,” you shrug. “I probably would’ve moved back home over the summer. Lockdown was just so hard… I got so lonely and discouraged… felt like I was in freefall. I didn’t really have anything to keep me here, to ground me until I met you.”

He kisses your neck with a tenderness that suggests he believes he can retroactively heal the heartache you felt before he knew you. “I don’t really know where I’d be right now… I’d be trying my best. Like I was before I met you. And my life would have joy, I’d make sure of that. But the kind of peace I feel knowing you, the happiness that comes from my soul being recognized by yours every day that we’re together… I can’t imagine being fulfilled like that without you with me.”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks and you reach for his hand, squeezing it tight as if it’s the only anchor you have to keep you from drowning under the weight of his sentiment. “I wish I could think of a better word to describe it… ‘magical’ seems so trivial. But that’s what it feels like,” you muse. “How many things had to go right and wrong, how many choices we had to make and not make, all for our lives to line up perfectly so that we would meet and end up here? How can that not be magic?”

“I was meant to be on tour this summer,” he says quietly.

“What if I’d moved to LA a year earlier? A year later? Made different friends, friends that didn’t know you?”

“If our album had come out in 2019, like we wanted it to, we probably would’ve been on break when lockdown hit… I might’ve been stuck in Sydney this whole time.”

“Even something as simple as: what if one of us had skipped going to that party? I was still getting used to being social again, I almost didn’t go, I was so nervous.”

“Cal and I had talked about going to the desert that weekend,” he remembers. “At the very last minute, he decided he’d rather wait a week. Weather or something. I was only at that party because I went down my contact list texting around to see who wanted to hang out… I was having a rough time and I didn’t want to be alone, I needed to be out of the house.”

You lift your head to look at him. “You never told me that.” 

“Didn’t seem important until now. What if someone else had replied first? What if I’d gotten caught in traffic and got there later? You were on your way out when we introduced ourselves.”

You grin at the memory of that night. “What if you hadn’t been wearing an insane looking pair of pants that made me take notice and stop to ask around about you?”

“What if you hadn’t been the most beautiful human I’d ever seen and I hadn’t decided I needed to know you?”

“Ashton.”

“Listen, I’m just recalling that night from my personal perspective here,” he teases, giving you a peck on the cheek.

You snort, getting back to your point. “Any of those things… if anything had been different, everything could’ve been different.”

“Glad it’s not.”

“Me too.”

Ashton sighs, slinging his arm around you, pulling you into his chest. “Don’t know if we thank the universe or the gods or our own intuition but it seems to me that things happened the way they did because we were meant to have this time together.”

“I agree.”

“All the shit that we had to go through… I’d say it was worth it to get here.”

“I agree.”

“I love you.”

“I agree.”

“Hey!” He protests.

You giggle, snuggling into him closer. “I love you too.”

--------------------------------------

Not entirely sure what my plans are re: continuing to use a taglist (would love to know your thoughts on that as well tbh) so keep your eyes open for future updates on that!

@hoodharlow @mashtonasfuck @pxrxmoore @bxcketbarnes @talkfastromance4 @camelliastreet @itjustkindahappenedreally @saywhatnow07 @mymindwide @suchalonelysunflower @findingliam-o @fedorable-killjoys @trix-arent-for-kids @olivia-foster-irwin @calmsweetcreature @onthecliffside-mgc @feliznavidaddycal @himbohood @maggiesupertramp @karajaynetoday @ashtonangst @sunshineeashton @aladyofalbion @youngblood199456 @calumrose @irwindoll @in-superbloom @2fangirl4u @highstwildflower @bport76 @chamaleonsoul

[marvolocore-library]

I Mourned for You. - B.M. x GN!Reader

Req: Yes | Wc: ≈1.5k

Requested By @aquananner24: "Bruno and the reader were close before he vanished. They were best friends, but nothing past that. (Though both liked each other, neither ever brought up those feelings.) So when Bruno finally returns the reader is /pissed/. She's not talking to him. She's so relieved that he's back and safe and alive, but for the past decade she genuinely thought he was dead or something since everyone thought he'd left Encanto altogether and the mountains surrounding Encanto were so difficult to cross. She legit thought he was dead. After she realized he wouldn't be coming back she MOURNED him, and to make it worse he KNEW she thought he was dead and he KNEW how much pain she was in because he was living in the FUCKING WALLS this whole time. It's not like she stopped associating with the Madrigal family after he vanished. She was still good friends with his sisters. So after a few days, Bruno goes over to her house to try and talk with her. After all, it's been a decade, surely he'd miss his best friend. It turns into an argument and she yells at him with tears in her eyes 'I would've followed you to the fucking ends of the earth because I loved you and you decide to just up and leave without so much as a goodbye!? Not even a letter!?? How sick is that!? I loved you and you broke my heart Bruno!" and that's how Bruno finds out she loved him, and that she still does love him." (They originally asked for a Fem reader but we worked it out to a GN reader)

Pair: Bruno Madrigal x Gender Neutral Reader; they/them

Fandom: Encanto (2021)

Synopsis: After he came back, you didn't know what to think. The past years (that you've refused to keep track of) were just you and your grief (plus your pet).

Warning(s): Angst with a happy ending, mentions of Grief/Grieving

Author's Notes: Usually I don't write Gender Neutral readers, but I'll make an exception just this once :) xoxo SORRY IF THIS WASN'T AS LONG AS YOU'D LIKE I didn't have any more ideas so I just put as much as I could into it :sob: also I think this should have been posted sooner I'm so sorry. wrote this listening to walls could talk by Hasley.

When the Casita was rebuilt, the gift was saved, and an old Madrigal was returned and safe, everyone was in pure and undying bliss. Except for you. You were known as the closest person to the Madrigals, almost considered family. Well, you grew an inch apart when Bruno left you. You both were inseparable, best friends, and were both silently pining to be together.

When you learned he had been living in the walls amongst the rats, you were in inner turmoil. You felt so powerful and so weak at one time, you felt unbelievably cheated.

So when Bruno saw you pacing up to him angrily, he knew he had screwed up. You had flames spewing from your eye's sockets, your fists paled when you clenched them, your figure tense. It was all so ambiguous to you, why he never made any contact with you when he went in hiding. Didn't say bye, you'd thought he died. You mourned for hours in a day. You held a little funeral for him in your backyard, just you and your [dog/cat/pet of choice]. Dressed in a black [dress/tux/formal clothing], holding vibrant green flowers, you even played a dirge on your piano whenever you felt sober of his laughter, his touch.

You had angry hot tears cascading your cheeks, you felt so on edge like you were seeing a ghost. A distant memory comes back to life. You thought of every time you helped Julieta or Pepa, knowing that your believed-to-be-dead best friend was eavesdropping through the walls.

"What in the world, Bruno!" You yelled at him. The sun was setting and nobody was around. Your shoes clamped onto the dirty ground that was Casita's brick floors. Your hands shoved into his chest a bit as you stared into his eyes.

"[Name]! I've missed so much, I'm so-" He was cut off by you shushing him. You would have slapped him, but you had your morals.

"You better be fucking sorry," you growled, your hand snatching his sun-kissed one. "I mourned for you, every day! You left without anything!"

You sobbed, your free hand wiping your eyes.

"No note, no nothing! Not even a goodbye! I would have followed you to the ends of the damned earth, Bruno! Do you realize how sick that is?" Your face was burning. Bruno was speechless, unable to say a single word. "Do you?"

"Now I do."

"You should have realized that years ago!" You choked on your words, hiccuping in between sentences. "I loved you Bruno, and you left my heart in pieces!"

His eyes were wide, mouth forming a small O. His eyebrows were furrowed with displeasure.

"I wrote a song for you, I played it on the piano at the funeral I had for you in my backyard!" You yelled. "I tried climbing the mountains to search for you." This is when you let go of his sweaty hand and clenched both of your hands onto his green poncho.

"[Name]." His lips curled, eyes beginning to water. "I'm sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry."

He shivered, blinking, and then sighed softly. "I love you. I loved you then, I love you now. I'm so sorry. You may never forgive me, and I understand why." He pulled you into a quick embrace, then you both fell apart, his hands traced paths onto your arms before falling next to him. "Words can't tell you how sorry I am."

You began to cry harder at his words, your hands wiping them away as quickly as they came falling down. "I will have to learn to forgive, but I think I still. . . love you." Your jaw was sore as you spoke the words, increasing the gap between you. "Sorry but I have to think." He nodded as you turned and rushed away, your mind dwelling on your past.

"Come on [Name], hurry up!" Bruno called you. Both of you were about nine or ten at the time. Julieta was making snacks with Abuela that morning and you really wanted to snag a frosted polvorón from them.

You both entered the Casita, shoulder to shoulder as you passed the threshold. The smell of baking bread and sugar wafted around you both. You followed the aroma to its source, the kitchen. Abuela was pulling a tray of Spanish shortbread from the gas stove, and Julieta was putting the homemade whipped frosting on each of the polvoróns. You and Bruno gave each other a mischievous look as you both strode towards Julieta.

"Hola, Julieta!" You both greeted her at the same time, she looked down from the stool she was perched upon with a knife laced with frosting dangling over about two baker dozens of the treats.

"I know what you want, but you will just have to wait!" She huffed, continuing to trace the shortbread with the sugary topping.

"Please? Just one, Bruno 'an I will split it!" You practically begged, giving her the most puppy-like face you could have mustered up.

She growled, "fine, but only one!" Abuela set a tray down next to her and started moving the fresh ones in front of Julieta to be lathered.

Both you and Bruno high-fived in success, your faces cheery and worry-free. Julieta grumbled as she handed you a polvorón, her eyes in leering slits.

You and Bruno ran over to the table, breaking the treat into two. You both happily munched on your own halves without questions. You felt a sudden wave of relish as the clump of bread and sugar went down your esophagus.

You smiled at the memory, you were in front of your house now. The sun was now beyond your sight, its original creamy waves of oranges and pinks were now a starry canvas of deep ocean blues and dark purples. Your home was blatantly uneventful, wind wooshing into your ear causing natural static. You grabbed the knob, turning it open and turning. You entered the home, its peaceful quietness filled your system with slack. You began to light your gaslamps, walking around your small home without worry. A paper was set coldly on your counter, untouched for quite a while. It had scribbled musical notes on it. You reached for it, your fingertips contacting the thin layer of dust that lived upon its surface. It sparked something in your brain.

Your hands crumpled another paper, throwing it behind you into the already-large pile. You couldn't figure out what to do for your song. Your song for him, that you would lavishly play on your old deep brown piano.

You just gave up with trying, doing what your feelings told you to do. You thought, he could see the future. That's ominous, you guessed, scribbling something on the paper.

Something deep but with a mellow melody, an angelic tone that followed a deep pounding track of notes. As every note was drawn out on the whitish paper, your clutch tightened on the old pencil. Every second of you writing out the notes, the slower you accepted that he was dead. There was nothing to do, nothing anybody could do. You had finally accepted he was no longer with you that day.

Once the paper was written out, you played the notes carefully—making any needed changes to the chords. The changes that you made to the music, the simplest ones as well, were all of his flaws. You made a deep meaning with the song, all of the rewrites and the modifications were to match up to a perfect outcome. That outcome, behind the flaws and strengths, was Bruno. A musical piece to reflect on the man you had inevitably fallen in love with.

Coming back from the past, you were now sitting down. The piece lay in front of you as your hands cradled your head. Some tears ran down your arms and onto the tables, some even seeped into the bottom edge of the composition.

A series of low knocks came from the door, soft and kind. You moved from the table, your hands pushing off from the wooden table. You steadied yourself to the door and churned the doorknob.

It was Bruno. His once knotty hair brushed a bit to look more formal–but still wore that Bruno effect. His poncho looked cleaner than it was earlier, the green was a shade more vibrant too.

He looked at you with sorrowful eyes, face quivering.

"IthinkIloveyoustill."

"What?" He asked, an eyebrow arched.

"I think—think—I still love you." You said more sternly.

He swayed for a second, before wrapping his arms around your waist and embracing you, passion sparked between both of your warm bodies. "Is this okay?" He asked. You nodded before he pecked you on the cheek and smiled.