#I work so hard for people and love them so deeply and do things they won't for me emotionally

[fluffy-angry-liberal]

The petition function is to raise awareness. When the petition reaches "debate" stage that isn't a chamber debate. That's one of the rooms in Westminster hall where Members come to express their views mostly in order to both get the Govt to hear it but also so they have extra chances to raise awareness of things and then show they have to their constituents.

It was never designed to change government policy and if govt policy changes it isn't based on petitions. They're worth doing, to raise the focus. But really, you need to be calling and writing to MPs.

Turn up to their surgeries and public meeting locations and badger them. Not loud disruptive protests, they're usually good at going "wankers" and brushing off. No. Passionate "I am your constituent and you will *listen* to my views."

Email them and do not copy paste because then staff can copy paste back. Thank you all 500+ people who emailed the same sheet regarding supporting a hard brexit, I had a lovely four paragraph response I could paste and send back. Emails work, but make them different. Letters too, a stack of post has to be read and god is it annoying.

Call their constituency office. Call their parliamentary office. Keep calm. The staffers are usually not deeply involved and frankly get enough shit from the aggressive nature of British politics. Or in my case a kid from university doing a placement and I was the poor one to pick up the phone. If you're calm and polite, we sympathise more. If we sympathise, it may not be just frightening the boss with backlash it may actually be the staff going "hey you should look into this." It can change opinions.

You can only write to your MP, but you can also write to your MP to ask that letters be passed on to Minister's rather than writing directly to a ministry. Which weirdly works to increase the impact of a letter, especially because depending how the MP handles it you can use it to badger them about it later.

Petitions are great to raise small causes. But you gotta get old fashioned to change laws.

[dailyralsei]

Why is ralsei your favorite deltarune character?

okay so when i started this account 3 years ago ralsei was not my absolute favorite character, he was just really neat to me. i didn't think he was evil, but it was hard to deeply connect with him because we didn't have a lot of characterization for him outside of "sweet and nice little guy that is just figuring out how to make friends and doesn't really know who he is yet, cheerful and naive. self worth issues only slightly peeking through". he was just nice and a cute character to draw! my favorite character before this account was actually spamton and i only started this account because when i redrew a really old ralsei fanart it got a lot of attention. imagine. alternate universe daily spamton. also tangent burgerpants was my favorite ut character so ALTERNATE alternate universe daily burger pants....

and then came chapters 3 and 4.. and it's as if toby fox looked me dead in the eyes and said "you dedicated so much time and love into drawing this character. now this character is dedicated to you" and he is. LITERALLY me. and that's not a good thing ralsei needs a self love arc please 😭😭😭😭😭 but yeah i relate to him so hard it's scary...

(yap session about ralsei as a character under the cut, deltarune ch3-4 spoilers)

- trans coded (ralsei is just so gender it's unclear which gender. the gender is so gender it's agender. gender stack overflow)

- self worth issues. i have one job! and that's all i am good for. if i can't be useful, then i'll either get cast aside again or hurt the people i care about. and i'd rather put them first. i don't need breaks except to sleep or eat! (ralsei probably didn't eat anything unless told to before chapter 4) maybe play a few games with my friends if i have time but that's like only for a few hours every week. the week before deltarune dropped i worked twice as much as i needed to so i could dedicate a week to playing the game without worrying about money

- perfectionist! things have to be in order and good or else everything will go wrong, everything has to go according to the plan i have, or else the big bad thing i'm trying to prevent will happen and it'll be my fault

- insecurities! if someone else is as good as i am at the thing i am the best for, then i will get replaced. i won't be important anymore. i'll be thrown away again and i think this even though none of my current friends or peers treat me this way because i'm scared of it happening again

- pretending things are fine and hiding my problems to not worry my friends, because i just don't know how else to deal with my problems! and then one more bad thing happens and everything comes crashing down and i explode

- not feeling like i deserve to give myself the good things i do for people i like because i'm used to not having anything or simply just not feeling like i deserve good things because i'm content with what i have (often the bare minimum) and then susie knocking some sense into me

- being dependent on the opinions and commands of others, but slowly learning to form my own opinions

- people pleaser. how do you think i kept up this account for so long without any new chapters

- will learn skills and hobbies for the happiness and wellbeing of others but never doing those hobbies for yourself (95% of my art is commission work that i use to pay for my partner's living expenses and helping my mom with bills, 4.9% is ralsei, 0.1% is personal art that isn't ralsei, but my ralsei art has become more personal due to the new lore. this account used to feel like an obligation a few months before the new chapters ngl so i am so glad the new chapters fed me good)

- having really good friends that teach me how to be a good friend and to love myself better. my partner is my susie (ralsusie is queerplatonic in my heart but it's insane how much like susie my romantic partner is, i mean me and my partner would be best friends for life if we weren't romantically involved)

[fight-nights-at-freddys]

found THE wildest anti post while scrolling mindlessly on reddit and i HAVE to show it. i'm gonna break it down, too, bc there's so many things to say

1) listen. i don't like RPF about real kids. i really struggle with saying "it's just fiction" because it sorta is involving real kids (even if it's fictionalized versions of them), and i'm deeply uncomfortable with it. but I ALSO understand that it's hard to draw the line there, because it IS just words on a screen, and it isn't illegal. the compromise here IS ao3, because that stuff is both allowed to exist, and we have the tools to block it from our vision if we want. everyone wins.

2) what. are you talking about. it's free, and open-source, it can't be a monopoly?? other sites are struggling because they keep censoring things, so ppl move to the better site (AO3).

3) WHAT DO YOU MEAN. how is it only protecting the "inner circle" and "very active users"?? how active do you have to be? what do you mean "work for it"? "funded MAP projects" do you have any sources for that or are we just talking out our asses now?

4) immoral to whom? and what activities? anyway, here's how the money was spent for 2025, so we're crystal clear that ao3 is not stealing money from donors and using them on "MAP projects" and other various "immoral" goings-on. (rest is under the cut bc LONG)

5) if you were a former user, you'd have to had known about rpf. i'm sorry, but at this point in time, if you're involved with ANY fandom, you've at least heard of kpop and know ppl ship those guys. be for real. and even if you (somehow) didn't, you, as a former user, would know you can just. block those tags or stop using the website as a whole? "dogma" and it's just anti-censorship. okay.

"this reminds me of several cases where cults have turned out to be sex schemes preying unsuspecting people," hello? am i awake? what is this sentence?? how is ao3, a website mainly for uploading any kind of fan fic, like a cult where a person uses money, religion, and sex to gain power over people? what??

6) i've written some fucked up stuff. i love love love writing about the darkest of taboo topics, and yet i do not find myself within the upper echelons of ao3, because that would be crazy. no one is more celebrated for writing nasty things than anyone else is for writing fluff. that doesn't happen.

again with the "MAP inner circle". actually on some conspiracy level shit oml

7) just look at this. i'm not entertaining it enough to reply fully, but if you wanna know what they're referencing, it's the international school of temple arts. but TL;DR, it's nothing like ao3.

8) i hate to break it to you, but that's currently what conservatives are doing, and they're using your backs to ride on. banning rpf will lead to a ban on lgbt content because CONSERVATIVES DON'T CARE TO DRAW A LINE. they are ready and willing to treat censorship like the fucking nuke it is and wipe out communities because they can. how are you not getting this?

you're right and you're wrong. proship was the default stance for forever in fandom, just not using those words. less proship, more mkinykatok. antiship has been a thing for a long time, but it wasn't used to refer to people who didn't like darkships, it was used to refer to someone who didn't like shipping, period (non-shippers). it wasn't till the mid 2000's that the words started being used the way we use them today.

9) fuck off with your concern trolling! and no, no one should inform local authorities about FICTION, even written rpf. if you find genuinely harmful content (a real person was harmed in the production of the content)(no, seeing something you dislike isn't harmful), report it to the correct authorities, but written fic is not that.

10) do not contact ao3 over this either?? they clearly state that if it isn't illegal, it's allowed on-site. they're not gonna do anything, and you're wasting everyone's time.

now, would you like to know the worst part? NONE of the comments are disagreeing with OP (minus one obvious proshipper)

i ADORE spn so i'm gonna yap a lot about it. forgive me. but. to my knowledge, that's not why people ship J2?there's no proof of that being direct cause, anyway. i reckon it's some mix of people not liking dark themes in fanfic (which is hard to avoid if you're setting it in-universe), not liking incest, seeing j2 as having chemistry, or simply seeing two pretty guys and wanting double of it.

plenty of ppl back then openly shipped wincest, it was talked about regularly at cons (the actors making jokes about it, met with audience laughter, jensen bought jared a wincest phone case, jdm saying both jared and jensen send him fanfics, j2 saying they were fine with people shipping whatever...i could go on, but i won't.), they joked about it in episodes and bloopers, jensen said it was a 'hot fantasy' when asked about it during an interview because PEOPLE WERE TALKING ABOUT IT AND SHIPPING IT. i also just dk how to tell you that most J2 shippers are ALSO wincesties...

also i'm sorry but rpf fans have NEVER been more accepted than darkshippers. we've always been at similar levels, esp when it comes to spn ships (except maybe for jenmish, which has always been treated better in my opinion? but that's another topic for another day)

the "pro-MAP" stuff in question? they're anti-thought crimes and believe thoughts ≠ actions, per their dreamwidth about section. idk if they're associated directly with ao3 though.

crying. like it's some secret government psyop and not a fanfiction site.

idk in conclusion this post was bad!! sorry about my supernatural rant it WILL happen again.

[sabxhere]

BWBWBWNWNWNWKKWM THE WAY I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD WHEN YOU SAID “LET’S KILL OURSELVES TOGETHER” I WAS LIKE “HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK, HELP???” AND THE ONLY EXAMPLE OF THAT THAT CAME TO MY MIND WAS WHEN ROMEO AND JULIET DO THAT IN THEIR PLAY SO–

WBWBBWWNWNWNWNWNW SILLINESS ASIDE, HAHAHHAHAHAHA

WVWHWBBWNWNWNW I'M GLAD YOU'RE AS CRAZY FOR THAT SCENARIO AS I WAS, cause like👉👈another random ass one that came to my mind was the idea of dogman hearing petey say he thinks there's something wrong with him for sure, for drawing things that are deemed disgusting and awful and. I really like the idea of dogman gently holding his hands and kissing them, kissing his fingers, sorta a worship for what those hands are capable of creating and made, and part to show he isn't disgusted by petey and never could be. I thought about it yesterday night before falling asleep and I was like "GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEADDDDDDDWGWGGWHWBWBW"

Anyways, !!! YES, ABSOLUTELY, dogman must have such an awful self image, the way he sees himself, especially because when you hear multiple people saying something to you, commenting something or reacting a certain way, it's unfortunately bound to stick in the worst possible way, hhhh my shayla😭😭😭

Perked up a little, PHILOSOPHY MENTIONED!!!!💖💖💖💖OH I LOVE PHILOSOPHY, sigh, I miss those lessons so much, and I find this concept you brought up deeply fascinating!!! I definitely think sanity is very connected to our relationship with others, and others' influence can leave such a big impact on you, both positive or negative. And when everyone tells you the same thing and you never head something different from anyone else, well. You're gonna start to believe it, unfortunately, and the fact that that's the case with dogman and how he sees himself brings me so much pain, hhhhh MY SHAYLA😭😭😭😭😭

NO FOR REAL, LIKE, usually I like taking the piss out of the guy, but I can't bring myself to because he literally has all the cards stacked against him, and he went through so much awful shit and judgement just because,,,he was being himself??? It's not fair, and it's totally understandable why he'd react so strongly and avoid so much the notion of being in love, his feelings and repressing as much as possible

CACKLING SO BAD, HELPPPPPPWBWKWNEJWN NAW, ANY ITERATION OF "KMS" "LET'S KILL THEM" AND "LET'S KILL EACH OTHER" IS GENUINELY SENDING ME BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

yooo these guys have to be gay or something 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

um deets under cut

grimace. whats up chat

pt asks him to promise not to freak out bc hes worried abt being seen as a weird freak . like . he has So many paintings of dm . that entire stack is just . all the paintings of dm that came out beautifully or paintings where he js saidd fuck it and leaned into the beauty entirely . theres honeslty probably another stack or two somewhere else in the studio bc he had been painting him for a while atp when the comic happens

that stack is kind of a source of shame for pt bc its like a physical manifestation of his lack of control over his own feelings . his plan was to make sure dm Never sees it and if he does then to kill himself (JOKE) but in this moment hes like. its just Unbearable to him . that this guy who he thinks is the most beautiful person hes ever seen in his life just Cant see what he sees .

atp dm knows pt is gay BUT neither pt nor dm know that dm is also queer . so. pt doesnt want dm to think he has a crush on him even tho he um Definitely does . like stigma and stuff . hes worried that if its too obvious that hes in love w dm then dms gonna get the ick and get mad at him .

its not rlly bc of dms character bc thats Ovivously ooc for him its jsut the social yk . perception of gay ppl. esp bc pt had such a negative experience w being perceived as gay (through his other identity but still) . and esp bc hes under the impression that dm is straight. straight men do Not exactly have a History of reacting Positively to Gay Men who are in love with them so.

this is also like the first time dm is seeing what exactly pt has been painting while he sat there for him . dms seen some of pts other paintings so he knows hes an exceptional painter but he hasnt seen a single painting of. himself. bc pt js refused to show him any of them until now . so yk. thats kind of a lot for him . like he obviously knew He was being painted but he didnt realize he was being painted Like This .

idrk what lead to this. like idk what the context is. bc this is after dm has alr shown him the stitches so its not like its pts first time seeing them. shrug.

okie thats all i can think of 4 now

ummm and then the uhhhh paitning . its js rough color .

[teratomatica]

you always land on all fours

[thebookworm0001]

The way that veilguard handles solas is annoying me right now

[astralmarionette]

im currently writing an atsugawa (I hate the name shin soukoku or whatever I'm sorry but I'm actually not. also I cannot pronounce soukoku {this is the real reason I don't use soukoku}) and I don't even ship it lmaoo

[monster-noises]

I love second hand book shops, I got to them frequently and always leave with Something and have a good time just peakin around

But i gotta say

It's one of the Worst spots for me in terms of imposter syndrome

I feel like everyone's uneasey with my presence as though i'm a stranger who just stumbled into their inner sanctum and they're.. they're gunna let me stay but they're gunna be weirded out the whole time and breath a sigh of relief when the Strange Unwelcome Freak Leaves

It also happens at record shops and sometimes at small antique shops or cons+festivals

Just this immediate foreboding of being Angrily Tolerated in a Space I Don't Belong

[neuropteran]

the idea of a hall pass is funny to me. my friend told me she’s ok with threesomes as long as her fiancé doesn’t come in anyone else and i was like. i love you but no one else is gonna stand him long enough for that to happen and if you’re telling me this bc you want to make out why bother with the whole hall pass thing, just ask. but i gue

[kdh-tally]

HIIIIII can i request a fic for saja boys, separately, where the reader just bites them? no reason to but just saw them and wanted to…how would the guys react?

Saja Boys x Reader Who Bites

Prompt : The boys find out you have an animalistic side that makes you bite them at random. OR you bite the boys once and see their reactions.

Author's Note : A bit shorter than my usual work but i didn't wanna get too repetitive lmao. I did love this request though especially because i feel like it catered to Mystery 😭😭😭

Mystery

He bites you back immediately.

Absolutely no hesitation about it.

Lets say you were cooking something for the both of you and asked him to hand you a spoon to stir the food. 

He, not knowing any better, hands you he spoon while watching you cook.

You, unable to resist the urges, find yourself biting into his skin and he freezes.

He stares at you without speaking and you think he might just brush it off.

But then he leans in and bites your arm back.

“What the fu-”

“You bit me first” he’d say, brushing his hair back to stare at you.

Jaw dropped.

You weren’t expecting him to reciprocate ☹️

And now you’re even more flustered than before.

From that moment on, every time you bite him, he returns the favour.

You bite his arm? He’s biting your fingers.

Bite his cheek? He’s biting you back.

At the end of the day you both always end up on the couch or somewhere similar, tiny matching bite marks all over like two weird cats.

“I’m in love with a feral animal,” he’d mumble, thinking you couldn’t hear him.

“You bark at people, Mystery. You’re one to talk”

Abby

My guy is lost.

“Did something happen to you….”

He genuinely thinks you might have gotten possessed.

You bite into his shoulder one day when he’s getting something off a high shelf and he just… blinks down at you.

“Babe, did you just bite me?”

He’s so confused. 

“I couldn’t help it. You just looked so yummy…”

He’s kinda flustered but is still lost, “So you bit me????”

“Yea”

“I’m not food???”

“I know”

Rubs the spot with a frown but then flexes like, “Okay but… how hard was it? Be honest.”

He still malfunctions whenever you do it. 

So now you use it to get him to shut up.

One day you were just trying to get some sleep in and he kept insisting that you go with him on a walk.

You grabbed his arm and bit into it lightly and he wasn’t able to think for the next 10 minutes.

After that, it becomes a habit.

He’ll ramble about how cute you are or how you’re gonna be late and you’ll just casually chomp and suddenly he’s like: “…what was I saying?”

Doesn't complain. Not once. Might start calling it your “weird lil affection thing” while grinning like an idiot.

Baby

He was gaming in Mystery’s room, he likes his set up, and was winning against the online people.

All of a sudden he feels this sharp pain on his neck.

“EXCUSE ME?”

Your initial reaction to this is to burst out in laughter.

Your so used to his deep voice so hearing it increase in pitch when he was screaming was absolutely hilarious.

He drops whatever he’s holding, hands on his hips as he glares you down. “Do I LOOK like a walking snack??”

He seems like he could be a tad bit sassy.

The funny thing is that this has happened before.

This isn’t the first time you’ve bit him. Its just the first time you chose such a random spot and time to do it.

He, like Mystery, will bite you back, but not immediately.

He’ll wait until your so deeply focused on something before biting the tip of your ears.

It’s not a gentle bite either, he’ll use his little demon fangs to ensure that you FEEL it.

Afterward he's like, “Yeah we’re even now. You’re so lucky you have such a forgiving boyfriend.”

He tells people, “My s/o's love language is chewing on me like a teething baby.”

Romance

Turns this into a major flirting opportunity. 

He’s trying to help you brush something off your hoodie. He gets confused when you grip onto his wrist, but his eyes almost fall out of their sockets when you bite onto one of his fingers.

“Did you just…bite me?” he whispers. Will stare at you like you just sent him a blessing.

“Is this what Zoey meant when she was talking about cuteness aggression?” he’d mumble, trying to understand why on earth you’d bite into him.

He quickly gets over it.

“Angel, if you wanted my attention you could've just asked~”

Now you’re over here trying not to let him see how flustered he got you.

Will let you bite him whenever and wherever.

He’ll just shove his hands into yours and let you have fun.

He’s the type to be like “You hungry?” whenever you start looking at him too long.

At some point you start to think he might have a biting kink or something cause he’s just a bit too enthusiastic to let you bite him….

He enjoys it though.

Thinks it's endearing.

Will 100% offer himself up for whenever you feel the need to eat a person.

Jinu

Confused but also into it??

You bite him on the arm while he’s reaching past you to grab something, totally unsuspecting.

He stops and stares at you. 

Similarly to Abby he has no idea what just happened and is processing it slowly.

“Wh—did you just—? You bit me?”

He sounds so softly confused like he’s not sure whether to be scared or propose.

Starts rubbing the spot and kind of laughing to himself, clearly short-circuiting.

“Okay. Alright. No, that's cool. That’s—um…”

“Jinu are you okay? I’ll stop if it makes you feel uncomf-”

“NO! I-i mean no.”

Tries to play it off like it’s nothing, but literally cannot stop glancing at the bite mark every five seconds.

Then out of nowhere he leans in a little and mutters, “If you wanted a taste, you could’ve just said so.”

Now YOU’RE lot.

Wasn’t he just tweaking out a few moments ago???

Where did the sudden confidence come from?

You’re short-circuiting. He’s short-circuiting. Everyone explodes.

He loses said confidence fast and immediately tries to back track. 

“I mean—not that I taste like—wait no—okay.”

Still, from then on, he lets you bite him anytime. Just silently offers up his arm or hand with a little shrug.

If you stop? He’ll get pouty and real quiet. 

He’ll mumble something like, “You don’t bite me anymore…did I do something wrong?”

[monstersholygrail]

When you first showed interest in your Cat Hybrid the shelter warned you that this particular cat was hostile and didn’t get along with most of the people at the shelter. You figured they were just being dramatic and all he needed was a kind and loving home but time quickly proved you wrong.

He stayed away from you most days, even taking his meal times separately from yours. And when you did try and get close, he’d hiss and swipe at you. Managing to get a few war wounds in whenever you tried to give him some affection.

You were beginning to feel defeated that you’d ever manage to build trust and love between the two of you. It was a shame too as you initially adopted the hybrid in order to have a companion by your side as you started your transition, finally biting the bullet and becoming the you you’ve always known you are inside.

But with how things have been going you were starting to lose hope that things would turn around. That is until three months after you started taking testosterone and everything began to change.

Now from what you read, you got the impression that a lot of Cat Hybrids were very sensitive to smell and had a distaste for strong orders. You figured that was just great and soon your companion would hate you even more. But instead of being put off by it, your Cat Hybrid seemed to crave it.

When before he wouldn’t go anywhere near you, now you can’t get rid of him. He follows you throughout the house wherever you go like he’s tracking your scent. He sits right outside when you go to the bathroom or have a door closed, protecting you.

During meal times he patiently waits for you to serve yourself too before sitting at the table and sharing a meal with you. When you have to work overtime or don’t come home when you say you will, he calls and whines, bugging you into coming home sooner.

And instead of sitting on the opposite end of the couch he snuggles right up next to you, purring loudly as he rubs his cheek into your neck, mixing your scent with his. You giggle in response, leaning away from the tickling sensation only for the hybrid to lean even heavier into you.

“What has been up with you lately?” You ask playfully, the deepening rasp in your voice making the hybrid shiver.

“You just- you just smell so good,” he snarls, almost like he’s angry about it.

He pushes into you until you go tumbling down onto the couch with a crackling yelp. Before you can try to get up, he’s right there on top of you, straddling your lap and inhaling deeply. Your eyes widen, breath hitching as he starts grinding into your core.

“Do I?” You ask breathlessly, placing your hands on his hips and your Cat Hybrid mewls just as sensitive for you as you are him.

Angling his hips he slides his rock hard cock along your center. Even through the layers of clothes he can feel the heat radiating from where you need him most.

“Yessss. I need more,” he growls, a feral look passing over his face.

Before you can piece together what he means he starts kissing and sucking down your throat as if he’s tracking to see where your scent is the strongest as he always does. You gasp and arch into his mouth, your body aching for more. As he moves down your plush frame he removes every piece of clothing keeping you from him until you lay perfectly bare and so dashingly handsome it takes the hybrid’s breath away.

With another deep inhale his eyes snap toward your dripping hole, your slick all smeared against your thick thighs. Practically begging for his attention. He runs his fingers along your slit, spreading your folds and wrapping them around your throbbing little t-dick. You cry out, your body burning so hot and needy you might explode.

“Look at this fat boy pussy all needy for my touch. Absolutely soaked f’me, and all because your grumpy hybrid is finally giving you the attention you’ve craved. Are you that desperate?”

He doesn’t wait for you to answer and it’s a good thing too because you don’t think you could’ve even if you wanted to. You were far too turned on, gasping and moaning with every stroke of his fingers. Plus the answer would’ve been yes. After all these months of getting the cold shoulder from your companion, you were eager to soak up all their recent affection.

Before you could even blink the Cat Hybrid was pouncing on you, his rough tongue eagerly lapping up your sloppy hole like a man starved. His growls and your moans of pleasure pierce the air as he fucks you ruthlessly with his tongue.

Almost like you both have been waiting for this longer than either of you care to admit. You can’t get enough of it, your hips bucking into his eagerly mouth. His claws hands tighten around your wide waist and pin you against him, refusing you even a second of relief as his long tongue lashes itself inside you and along every nerve of your core.

You can only hold on for so long, not wanting this moment to end, before you’re exploding all over his tongue, your center throbbing with the force of your release. You feel his claws prick at your flesh as he marks you as his while he hisses and works you through your release.

Each swirl of his tongue sends you gushing with more of your essence, leaving a prickling sensation that only turns you on more and more. But you can see he’s happy to remain there and lick up whatever you give him as your scent increases tenfold, flooding his senses and filling him completely with you.

By the bliss on his and your face it seems as though you’re both liking what this new arrangement might bring.

[natalianovnas]

❛❛ to 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐒 ❛❛

꩜ ۫ . SUMMARY :: things were going surprisingly well between you and wanda, that is until people find out your union was fake to begin with - but wanda loves you more than anything so she isn't ready to let it be the reason she'll loose you.

꩜ ۫ . PAIRING :: CEO!wanda x assistant!reader

꩜ ۫ . WARNINGS :: post-fake marriage, protective wanda, soft smut, public backlash, very light angst & comfort, tabloid drama, romantic fluff.

꩜ ۫ . WORDS COUNT :: 2k || masterlist

READ PART ONE !!

The difference between the way Wanda had been treating you then to now didn't go unnoticed.

And it wasn't only to you, but most people at work too — even if she happened to be softer with you.

She no longer barked orders with her usual clipped perfectionism. Her sharp tongue—once so ready to correct, to bite—had softened. Especially when it came to you.

Now, she’d appear beside your desk with a coffee, your name carefully written in sharpie. Or she’d lower her voice just for you during meetings, protect you from interruptions, listen more than she spoke when it was your ideas being discussed.

And when someone called you “Maximoff’s wife” too casually in the break room, she didn’t correct them.

She smirked instead.

“You didn't always defend me this hard.” You stated one afternoon with a teasing smile, after a client had tried to take credit for your work and she’d shut it down in three terrifying sentences.

Wanda didn’t look up from her tablet. “Well, now you’re mine and I don’t let people underestimate what or who belongs to me.”

You flushed.

She tilted her head, “What? Too much?”

You nodded while biting your lip.

She leaned over the desk and whispered, “You like it when I’m too much.”

And God, you did.

She’d become touchier, too.

Casual. Intentional. Subtle, but unmistakable.

Her fingers would trail down your spine as she walked past you. She’d fix your necklace gently during elevator rides. She’d rest a hand on your thigh during meetings that didn’t require full attention.

No one said anything. But they all saw.

The first time she made love to you wasn’t planned.

It wasn’t after champagne or after a gala. It was a quiet evening. Rain. A slow movie neither of you paid attention to. You were wearing her sweatshirt. She was lying behind you on the couch, arm curled around your waist, lips against your neck.

And then she whispered, “I’ve wanted to touch you like this for so long.”

You turned, heart already thudding. “Then do it.”

Her breath hitched.

And she did.

Not with urgency—but reverence.

You sat up on your knees as she stood at the edge of the bed, lit only by the soft glow of the lamp. You watched her eyes sweep over you like she was memorizing the moment.

“Take it off for me,” She said softly, fingertips brushing the hem of the hoodie.

You obeyed, taking your time so she could see you in all your bare glory.

Wanda inhaled slowly, gaze locked to every inch of revealed skin like it was a gift meant only for her. “You’re so beautiful.”

Her voice cracked and she swallowed hard. She stepped closer and pressed her lips to your shoulder. “You don’t know how long I’ve imagined this. How careful I wanted to be.”

Her hands moved slowly—along your hips, waist, over the soft parts of you like she was learning you through touch alone. She kissed you. Deeply. Lazily. Like she wanted to taste how loved you felt.

Then she sank to her knees in front of you.

Right there, at the edge of the bed.

You let out a soft gasp. “Wanda…”

She looked up—eyes dark, lips parted in awe.

“I’ve thought about this every time you said my name,” she whispered. “I want to worship you. Let me?”

Your legs trembled.

She kissed your inner thigh, slowly. Her hands never left your skin. She took her time—no rush, no teasing. She wanted you undone gently.

You leaned back as her mouth pressed where you were softest—her tongue warm, her lips patient, her rhythm unhurried and devastatingly sweet. You gasped her name. Again.

Wanda held you like a secret. She murmured praises between every pass of her tongue, told you how good you tasted, how beautiful you sounded, how much she wanted you to fall apart for her.

And when you did—shaking, calling her name, hand tangled in her hair—she kissed your thigh once more, then climbed up to hold you against her.

You lay tangled together, bare and quiet.

She held you with her arms curled protectively around your back. Her face pressed against your hair.

You felt her smile against your skin.

“You okay?” she asked, voice hoarse.

“I think I’m in love with you,” you whispered.

Wanda was quiet for a long second.

Then she said, very softly:

“Good. Because I’ve been in love with you since the moment you told me to stop micromanaging your calendar.”

You let out a breathless laugh, pulling her closer.

No cameras. No lies. No contract.

Just two people who took the long way to get here.

. . .

It started with a headline.

“Maximoff Marriage a PR Move? Sources Claim ‘It Was Never Real.’”

Then came the articles. The speculations. The anonymous interviews from former employees. The dissected timelines. Paparazzi shots, blurred and cropped and ripped out of context.

By noon, your office felt like a war zone.

Phones were ringing off the hook. PR teams scrambled. Someone outside your door was crying. And you—God, you just sat frozen in your chair, eyes stuck on the same headline over and over.

It wasn’t supposed to matter anymore.

You loved her. She loved you. That should’ve been enough.

But it wasn’t. Not here. Not in a world built on image and deals and loopholes with price tags.

Your hands trembled as you shut your laptop.

Wanda burst into the office twenty minutes later.

Her coat still on. Hair windswept. Jaw clenched. She looked at you like she’d already scanned the building for anyone who dared speak your name.

“Did anyone talk to you?” she asked, voice low.

“No.”

“Touch you?”

“No.”

She stepped forward. “Lie to you?”

You shook your head slowly. “Not yet.”

She exhaled, hard. Like her lungs had been full of knives.

Then she knelt in front of your chair and took your shaking hands in hers.

“I’m going to fix this.”

You swallowed. “You shouldn’t have to.”

“I want to.”

Her grip tightened slightly, her thumbs brushing your knuckles. “This isn’t damage control anymore. I’m not protecting a company. I’m protecting you.”

Your throat tightened.

“But they’re going to call it a fraud,” you whispered. “They’ll say it was illegal—”

“Then I’ll tell them I married you because I fell in love with the girl who used to curse under her breath whenever I corrected her emails.”

You let out a shaky laugh.

“And if they ask for proof,” she added, “I’ll show them every moment you slept in my arms. Every cup of coffee I made for you. Every time I looked at you and forgot how to be the person they wanted me to be.”

You couldn’t speak.

Your chest ached—with love, with fear, with the overwhelming truth of her.

Wanda stood.

“I’m doing a press conference.”

You stood too. “What?”

“I’m ending the questions. No spin. No script. Just the truth.”

“You hate press conferences.”

She smiled faintly. “Not when I have something real to say.”

The conference was called for 5:00 PM sharp.

You watched from backstage—heart pounding in your ears—as she stepped up to the mic in a black suit, no jewelry, no smile.

She looked the world dead in the eye and said:

“Yes. Our marriage began as a legal solution. But the truth is—what started as convenience became the most important thing in my life. I fell in love. Deeply. Entirely. And not for publicity. Not for protection. But because she changed me. Made me want to be softer. Made me want to stay.”

Flashbulbs.

Gasps.

You covered your mouth with both hands.

And then Wanda said, clearly, evenly:

“If anyone wants to call it fake, they can. But the only thing that ever felt real to me—truly real—was her.”

That night, you found her sitting on the couch barefoot, wine untouched, press conference already a wildfire online.

She looked up as you approached.

You crossed the room and sat in her lap.

Wanda buried her face in your shoulder, exhaled like she'd finally made it home.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you murmured.

“I did.”

“Why?”

She lifted her head, her voice rough and low:

“Because I won’t lose you trying to protect the version of me that was too scared to be known.”

You kissed her—slow, grateful, full of everything you couldn’t say when the world was watching.

And when you pulled away, she whispered:

“Only if you stay.”

You smiled, kissed her again.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

. . .

Wanda proposed in the kitchen.

No diamonds, no fanfare or big speech.Just pancakes, soft bed hair and morning sunlight.

You were barefoot in one of her robes, humming to yourself while flipping breakfast. The pom yipped under the counter, chasing a cherry tomato you’d dropped.

Wanda walked in behind you, arms wrapping around your waist. She pressed a kiss to your shoulder, and whispered:

“Do you want to marry me again?”

You blinked.

She added, softly, “For real. No deadlines. No paperwork. Just… you and me.”

You turned, slowly.

Her eyes were bare. Not nervous—hopeful.

And in your chest, your heart bloomed.

You smiled. “Ask me properly.”

Wanda dropped to one knee on the kitchen tile.

And you said yes before she even got the words out this time.

The wedding wasn’t big.

But it was beautiful.

A garden in early spring. Candlelit tables. No press. No sponsors. Just people who mattered—Peter, a few close friends, her brother, and others you’d come to love during this strange, slow transformation of a life.

Wanda insisted on handling most of it.

“I want to build this day with you,” she told you, sketching floral arrangements at 1 a.m. while your pom dozed on her lap.

You picked the venue. She chose the food.

She hated cake, but let you have two layers of vanilla anyway, just because you loved it.

And the dog?

He was the ring bearer.

He trotted down the aisle in a tiny satin bowtie, carrying a velvet pouch clipped to his harness. The crowd laughed. You nearly cried.

Your dress was soft ivory. Hers was white.

No veil. Just a simple crown of silver in her hair, and a look on her face like she couldn’t believe she got to keep you.

When you met her at the altar, she whispered:

“You look like something I never thought I deserved.”

You leaned in. “And you look like home.”

There were vows.

God, the vows.

Yours, written on a napkin weeks ago during a subway ride, shook when you read them. You told her that she changed you. That she taught you what love looked like when it was quiet, slow, and chosen every day.

Wanda’s were simpler—but hit just as hard.

“I’ve built empires, survived collapses, burned things down to start over but the only thing I’ve ever built that I never wanted to run from… is you.”

You cried.

So did she.

Peter clapped too early and made everyone laugh.

The kiss—your second first kiss as wives—was different. The first had been a performance. This one was a promise. And Wanda kissed you like she’d never have to let go again.

Later, at the reception, you found her barefoot in the grass with the pom in her arms. Her heels were somewhere forgotten, her dress slightly wrinkled, her makeup smudged just beneath her eyes.

She looked radiant.

“You good, Miss Maximoff?” you asked, wrapping your arms around her waist from behind.

She leaned into you. “I’m great, Mrs. Maximoff.”

The dog gave a little bark and pawed at your chest. You took him from her, kissed his head, and whispered, “You were perfect, buddy.”

Wanda smiled. “He’s getting a whole steak later.”

“He’ll explode.”

“He died a hero, then.”

That night, back home, she undressed you like a song she knew by heart. Kissed your ring finger between each layer.

“I love you,” she whispered. “Not because I have to. Because I want to.”

You touched her face.

“I know.”

And when you made love that night, it wasn’t the first time — but it was the first time you did it as two people who finally got to keep each other.

No conditions or contracts.

No pretending, just love.

And a little dog sleeping at the foot of the bed, snoring like he owned the world.

. . .

[lustlovehart]

Yandere!Phainon, who goes out of his way to learn your schedule, so when he interrupts you, he can guide you to your next location, and you won't get mad at him. Your anger is the last thing he ever wishes to incur. If that's what seems to happen, however, he will gently hold your hand, asking for your forgiveness as he brings you to a place to eat, insisting food will make it all better. You have no chance to reject, as you're already there, and the owners seem too excited to see the one who's stolen all of Phainon's attention. His attention to detail has him knowing exactly where you'll be.

Yandere!Phainon, who is just so naturally likable that he's essentially interwoven his presence into your day-to-day life. Both of you spend hours of the day together simply because everyone you know enjoys his presence, so in turn, they keep him around. It's no secret to everyone that he's in love with you. It works entirely in his favor because he is indeed in love with you. Everything you do seems to have some way to connect Phainon to you; even just thinking seems to have your mind wander to him. He has engraved himself into your life so well, your thoughts have traces of him.

He panics when you ask Mydei to knock you out hard enough for amnesia to occur. It backfires, though, as he'll kiss your forehead and apologize. He makes no effort to change, despite it.

Yandere!Phainon, who will hold on to you at the slightest sense of danger. His arms will wrap in a hold that's both possessive yet protective, his head buried into your shoulder. No matter what you say, he'll continue to hold you, a gentle smile on his lips as he tells you he'll do whatever he can to keep you safe. Whether this determination cuts into your own personal life is no matter to him, though. His utmost priority is that you're safe. At some point, you'll go to sleep with his arms wrapped around you, still attempting to ward off any danger.

Yandere!Phainon, who understands that part of the way he treats you is entirely depraved, an act undeserving of the title hero. Yet, the other part of him works overtime in convincing himself that what he's doing is okay as long as you're safe and in his arms. He'll apologize to you in the night, only to continue the next morning. He'll sleep with you, whispering how much he wishes things were different for you two, but he never wishes for anything else when you wake up. He's delusional in a way that he understands it's wrong, but he buries it so deeply beneath all that's righteous, he believes it's right.

Yandere!Phainon, whose first thought in each cycle, has always been you. He always finds you and always seeks your affection. Even when he doesn't know why, he must have it for himself. He wraps you in his own romance so heavily that all your intimate moments are trapped beneath his, all for his eyes, ears, and body to feel. If anyone attempts to lift the blanket he has draped over you, he'll cover you in an even heavier sheet of his feelings. He doesn't get rid of people you could possibly fall for through violence; he rids them by showing them how much more he loves you. He doesn't have to show you, though, as you feel the weight of his obsession for you every second.

Yandere!Phainon, who loves all of you, no matter what, but sometimes he can't restrain himself when you go on about how he doesn't love you. He'll never hurt you in that way. But he'll harden his voice, his blue eyes turning gold for a few seconds when he finally has your eyes on him. His hand will take your face, turning you to look at him. It's strong enough you can't look away, yet somehow he makes it so you don't wince in pain. "I love you." A mantra he'll repeat until you agree. After each repetition, he'll place a kiss somewhere on you, whether it be your neck, face, chest, shoulder, stomach, thighs, everywhere but your lips. He saves that for when you finally accept him. He does so until you're numb, the tingling sensation of his lips on your skin all that you can feel. When he asks if you know how much he loves you, his forehead rests on yours. The moment you say yes, he's swift to swallow up any of your words, his lips finally connecting to yours.

He'll make sure you know just how deep his love has gone for you in all 33,550,336 cycles.

[astrow1zar6]

Astro Observations~ 49

👑Mars conjunct Venus people can either be really irresistible or repulsive to be around no in between. I feel like people either can’t get enough of them & are so attracted to them or they are very disturbed by their energy of come off as very obnoxious.

👑Venus in Aries LOVE when people are obsessed with them. They care more about making you obsessed with them than actually keeping you. They love the chase they live for it tbh.

👑Mars in the 8th house can prefer very rough sex. They have a thing for pain. They can be big masochists.

👑Pluto in aspect with the moon will love you deeper than anyone else. Especially when it’s positively aspected (sextile & trine). When they leave you will never find that depth again. You will find yourself thinking about them years later.

👑Mars in Aries people are physically so strong. Usually grew up always winning arm wrestling or running the fastest out of all your friends, was able to beat everyone in sports ect. They re blessed with incredible strength & endurance.

👑Scorpio Venus’s are the most jealous out of all the Venus signs. They do NOT like sharing their partners with anyone (even family) they are like this with friends as well. Once they fall in love with you they almost never let you go. You will always be in the back of their minds forever.

👑Saturn sextile or trine Venus in synastry is really the glue to a relationship. I’ve seen so many married couples with this aspect. No matter how much they piss you off you are always gonna want to fix it to make it work. The relationship can start off pretty slow at first but usually once it gets there it lasts a lifetime.

👑Jupiter in the 10th house people are usually very popular. Whether they are popular for good or bad (depending on your aspects) reasons they will be paid a lot of attention from the public eye (especially in Leo or Sagittarius). You have a very powerful divine presence & it’s hard for people to keep their eyes off you. The types to be nominated for prom queen/king in highschool.

👑Pisces & Capricorn in the big three can make someone be very pessimistic.

👑The hardest workers I ever seen had Aries and Capricorn in their big three.

👑You rarely see a man with a Venus in Virgo, Scorpio or Capricorn being confused about someone. Those people almost always know what they want.

👑On the other hand Pisces, Libra & Aries Venus men usually never know what they want and recklessly get into relationships they aren’t always so sure about.

👑Aquarius placements are usually into things that can be seen as “childish” or “nerdy”. For example; Video games, collecting figurines, cartoons, anime ect.

👑Libra suns can have a problem with mirroring others personality subconsciously. They can suppress their natural self’s to be liked by others more. It actually really hard for them to be themselves in social situations. They only show their true selves to those they trust deeply.

👑People are usually obsessed with getting approval from those with a Capricorn rising. You have a lot of people that look up to you & value your opinions deeply. Others naturally respect you due to your mature put together presence. You have a very powerful aura & others are more likely to yield to you.

👑Uranus in the 5th house people get turned on by weirdness. The weirder the better. They highly appreciate people who are free with expressing their quirks. They hate being around people who get embarrassed too easily.

👑A lot of 12th house placements can make you a very “lowkey” type of person. People usually forget that you are in the room sometimes. 12th house placements can make people with extroverted signs quiet. Especially if you have it in the sun or mercury.

👑Sun & Venus in Taurus women usually look really good without makeup. The more natural the better they look.

👑Saturn in the 4th house can have difficulty in expressing affection (especially with their family. Could’ve came from a household where their family often neglected their emotional well being or they weren’t able to vent properly to anyone. Mother could’ve been very cold and strict when dealing with the native. They usually had to grow up super fast & was emotionally mature at a very young age. Could be used to dealing with problems on their own making it uncomfortable to ask for help. These people usually have the hardest time going to therapy.

👑Sag moons can come off as more like an air moon. They are the most detached emotionally out of all the fire moons.

👑Most narcissists have a mutable moon sign. Or just a lot of mutable placements in general.

👑Cap Venus men can be big crash outs when they get rejected or find out their partner isn’t loyal. They take that shit so seriously they absolutely hate being embarrassed or looking stupid for someone.

👑Pisces/12th house mercury’s can struggle with having a voice when younger. Could’ve repressed what bothered them a lot because they were used to the things they said being dismissed by others. Could’ve felt like they spoke a completely different language than everyone else.

👑Venus in retrograde people usually have a lot of trauma from other women. Other women could’ve not liked them too much or it’s difficult for them to make genuine girl friends. Other girls viewed them as being “mean girls”. Felt more comfortable in the presence of men.

👑Venus square mars I’m synastry can feel uncomfortable for the Venus person. Mars person usually makes the Venus feel uncomfortable because of how strong they can come off with them at times. The mars person can act very lusty around the Venus which can scare them a little. This aspect can be common with one sided attraction.

👑Gemini suns/risings are the epitome of golden retriever energy.

👑Mars/ Venus in Taurus men prefer women who are more curvy/voluptuous.

👑Aries moons can lose interest when you aren’t giving them enough attention.

👑Libra suns almost always have nice 🍑. Almost every girl I’ve seen with a big 🍑 had their sun in libra

👑Aqua Venus’s are usually amazing friends & they tend to have a lot of them. Their friends can also fall in love with them very easily.

👑Cancer suns can either be super hilarious or so corny

[jmliebert]

Nanami as Your Lover headcanons ♡

the word boyfriend doesn’t do him justice—it feels too light, too casual somehow as he treats you with absolute seriousness

there’s a softness he reserves only for you. whether he’s resting his head in your lap or letting you dry his hair with careful hands, these simple moments feel so intimate for him and for you

you bring him a sense of peace he didn’t know he needed. he quickly discovers that he sleeps best when you’re lying on his chest, his arms wrapped securely around you, holding you close, and the thought do things for him (he falls even harder)

in the morning he pulls you closer in bed, nuzzling into your neck and murmuring about how he doesn’t want to get up just yet

evenings with you have transformed his routine. suddenly, he finds time for the books that have been gathering dust on his shelf, reading while you are cuddling to his side

if there’s something you want to do, Nanami’s always up for it. face masks? horror movies? a random pottery class? whatever it is, Nanami is all in—because it makes his lady happy :’)

his sense of humor is subtle but sharp. he loves when you tease him gently, and you can always catch a faint smile tugging at his lips when you do

has a habit of brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering as he looks at you with quiet adoration

cooking for you becomes one of his love languages. he takes quiet pride in preparing meals for you and feels a deep sense of contentment when you enjoy them (like it or not, but if you would let him, he would feed you gladly)

if you’re stressed or overwhelmed, he’ll instinctively take care of you—running you a bath, massaging your shoulders, or simply holding you close in silence

even more strict about keeping to his working hours—not just for the sake of principle, but so he can return to you sooner

when he has the chance, he waits outside your workplace with a bouquet of red roses in his hand, ready to walk you home or take you to dinner

on more tender nights, you’ll find him kneeling in front of you, his hands on yours, telling you in that velvety voice how much you mean to him, and how he wants you to be close to him all the time

on the surface, Nanami may appears calm and composed, unshaken as ever. but the faint flush that creeps onto his cheeks whenever you're around betrays him in the sweetest way. Gojo, naturally, can't resist saying something like this (with a overdramatic whine): "Blushing, Nanami? Should I feel jealous?"

Nanami isn’t one for public displays of affection. he tries to maintain his composure, even when you sweetness flusters him so much in public. behind the mask of calm, he’s restless, counting the minutes until he can steal you away to a private corner and kiss you hard...maybe squeeze your thigh as well...

however he’s ok with holding hands in public (honestly, it is one of his favourite things to do) plus he occasionally presses soft kisses to your palm which make you melt completely…

unshakeably confident in your relationship. If someone flirts with you, he’s calm (but might be a little bit more possessive than usual in bed that night, even though he knows it's foolish to react that way, but he can't help it)

for him, there’s no one else but you. it’s not that he has to ignore attractive people—he simply doesn’t see them when he’s with you

as composed as he is, the desire he feels for you simmers just beneath the surface. he wants you—badly—but he waits, patient and respectful, for you to be completely comfortable, although is so hard to be patient with you sometimes…

when the moment finally comes, his restraint melts away. he’ll kiss you deeply, savouring the taste of you like he’s been starving, his hips bucking uncontrollably 

he’s a generous lover, a big fan of giving head. nothing pleases him more than leaving you trembling under his touch, as his mouth explores you with relentless precision

he’ll fuck you hard but balance it with tenderness, kissing away your tears and murmuring sweet, reverent words against your heated skin

though sometimes, if the moods takes him, he’s not above whispering dirty, obscene things in your ear while he moves against you. his words sinful, describing in vivid detail how good you feel, how tight you are, and how he can’t get enough of you

adores seeing you in lingerie chosen just for him. the sight makes his gaze darken with desire as his hands and lips worship every inch of you

adores it even more to fuck you hard in it, his hands gripping your hips or ass with bruising intensity. his palm meets your skin in sharp, stinging spanks, the sound echoing alongside your moans, as his breath grows ragged, hot, and heavy against your lips. between desperate, hungry kisses, he huffs into your mouth, his voice low and gravelly, muttering just how irresistible you are and how he can’t get enough of you

afterward however, he’s attentive and caring. he cleans you up, whispers soft reassurances, and holds you close so you feel safe and adored (or dare i say loved?)

when he’s had a little too much to drink, he rests his head on your shoulder, his lips brushing against your neck as he murmurs your name over and over again...

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

hi, you can find more of my works about nanami ♡here♡

support me here <3

[lighting-and-shadow]

Ikigai, Part 8: Making Up

Summary: A small bridge is built over a large gap.

Ikigai (n.) (Japanese): "A reason for being," the thing that gets you up in the morning.

Part 7 | Part 9 | Series Masterlist | LADS Masterlist

The walk to Sylus’ room is reminiscent of one to the gallows. You’ve seen those walks in people’s souls, how each step makes their throat tighten more and how they seem to mentally wait for each heartbeat to come. Like every step or every breath or ever beat is going to be their last.

That’s the only way you can think of to describe how you feel right now. A place that once meant safety and comfort to you has been tainted. It’s been warped, smeared, and destroyed in a way that a you from a few weeks ago would’ve never imagined.

Because now, you’re walking there with fear. Fear of Sylus of all people. Your partner in crime. Your confidant. Your closest friend. Your Morana.

You don’t want to think of him this way. Far from it. But Miss Hunter’s words, her shaky tone and fidgety hands, make you this way. The chaos of emotions in her threads make you this way. Everything about how she was when describing her time with Sylus make you this way.

Modification of her Evol.

You know very well what those words mean. You know what it looks like, feels like. You know all of this because it’s woven into her soul.

And her own soulmate tried to do that to her. Tried to split her open. Try to warp her and smear her and destroy what makes her her.

Rage and betrayal and whole other slew of emotions boil up inside of you. Each step makes you wonder when you’ll explode, when you’ll break from all of this.

You try to combat this with each breath. Each deep, hard-fought, breath. You try to embrace a wave of calm, to tamper down the craziness and be who you normally are: in control.

Nothing helps. Nothing works. And before you know it, you’re knocking at that accursed bedroom door.

Since when am I so polite with him?

A weak laugh escapes your lips. You stifle it down the moment the door begins to open.

Sylus is disheveled, an odd sight for someone who can look put together even in the middle of a gun fight. He just stares at you. His eyes refuse to leave yours, as if you’ll vanish if he so much as blinks.

It’s awkward, strained. An uncomfortable atmosphere that hasn’t been between you two in years. You can’t stand it.

“May I come in? I believe we have some things to discuss.”

Sylus says nothing. He looks deeply uncomfortable. It’s subtle, something most wouldn’t notice. But you’ve known him far too long. The slight flicker in his eyes down to the way he walks tells you everything. He’s off. He’s lost.

Not that you’re much different. Your tone earlier was cold, professional, and distant. Entirely lacking the usual playfulness or joy you’d have from simply interacting with Sylus.

You quickly step in his room once he moves aside for you. You don’t spare Sylus a glance. Any further looks would just deter you from your task.

This cannot go on.

Sylus’ treatment of Miss Hunter weighs on you. If you thought it was bad before, it’s far, far, worse now. Experiments? Changing her Evol? Scaring her so much she subconsciously rejects her own soulmate?

It’s arguable the worst start to any love story you’ve ever heard or seen. And you have more experience with that than anyone. You see them in every thread. You hear them in every soul.

All except mine.

You stare at Sylus’ empty bed to distract yourself from that rabbit hole of emotions, one you’re familiar with. You walk towards the bed. But you don’t sit on it. Rather, you just trace mindless patterns into the sheets to calm yourself.

Eventually, you turn to face the man whose room you stand in. Sylus stands with his back on the door. The lock is turned shut. And his arms are crossed, as if he’s shielding himself from you.

Since when were you two like this: weary and afraid of one another? After the argument today? After the one a few days ago? When Miss Hunter arrived? Or was it always there, brewing silently beneath your soft touches and charming smiles?

Whatever the case, you’ve never quite felt such distance from Sylus. You stand in the same room you two have shared for god knows how long, looking right at each other. And yet, you couldn’t be farther apart.

You tap your fingers on the bed like you did the night before Miss Hunter arrived. Tap. Tap. Tap. It’s the only sound that fills your ears until Sylus finally speaks.

“Can I explain now?”

To anyone else, his tone would be calm, demanding, and dripping with that usual hint of arrogance that he has. To you, he practically begs. Screams, even.

He only does that rarely. Like earlier today during your argument after your collapse. Which, given that specific context, made sense. Sylus was out of rhythm. His emotions were chaotic. He does care for you, after all. And you had just screamed your lungs out and passed out in front of him.

Who wouldn’t be shaken by that even a little?

You think over your next words for a moment, pushing that memory of your mind. What is there to explain? You’ve heard everything from Miss Hunter. You know what he tried to do.

Old wounds open up the more you think about it. The pinpricks of needles. Your home becoming a revolving door of doctors when you had no sign of a soulmate by age 10. The increasing prevailing sense of something being wrong with you the longer it went on.

They’re phantom pains, echoes of a past that only emerges when you sleep. They’re ghosts you tell no one about. They’re wounds that only you have ever dressed.

What was done to you was done in good faith. Much like what Sylus did. You could see it in his soul, see it in his thread. And it told you he wanted her to remember. He wanted his sorceress back at any cost.

But you wanted here his words. His interpretations and thoughts from his own mouth.

“Go ahead,” you gesture with your hand.

So Sylus does explain. Just not what you thought he would.

He goes into detail about his deal with Miss Hunter. About the brooch. About her search. About the twins and their pranks. About everything.

You look at him with scrutinizing eyes. You don’t search his soul; you have no need to.

In him, you find the truth and only the truth. You find no deception, no hidden meanings, nothing. It’s probably the most honest he’s been with you since Miss Hunter’s arrival.

“I never even had the brooch on me,” he chuckles a bit before he continues. “I don’t know why she ever thought I did.”

“Then where is it?”

“In your favorite book. On page 70. You know the scene.”

You absolutely do know the scene. It makes you smile even in this moment.

“Seriously? How on Earth do you expect her to know anything about my taste in literature?”

“You two spend so much time together I figured you were “besties” by now,” he says the words a great amount of sarcasm that makes you relax a bit.

It’s not much. But, you lean into the familiarity.

“Besides. Even if she didn’t know the significance of the book, I thought I’d do her a favor and introduce her to something good to read. She claims to be bored during her time here, and I wanted to be a more gracious host.”

You snort at his comment. Sylus tilts his head at you.

“What?”

You want to say, ”A gracious host? After kidnapping her and threatening her and almost turning her into a lab rat for the second time in her current life?” But you shake your head and say nothing.

Sylus seems to brush it off. His eyes soften and he takes a step towards you. When you don’t move away, he comes even closer, standing beside the foot of the bed while you stand in the same position next to the head.

“That’s all there is to what you saw. It wasn’t,” he pauses for a moment, searching for the words. “It wasn’t anything like you thought it was. Just a series of… interesting events.”

You just nod once more, turning your head to the bed again. You go back to tracing patterns in it, trying to rally yourself for the real conversation.

“Gamayun?”

You give him a quiet hum, but you don’t look up at him. You trace words into the bed, words from the scene of the book he placed the brooch in. They comfort you.

“Say something?”

You say nothing.

“What’s got you so quiet? Normally you talk my ear off, even when I’m being a fool.”

You make a hasty drag against the sheets, and the irritating sound that follows shocks both of you.

“Because I’m not here about what you just talked about and you know it.”

Or, at least, he should know it. He should know that him taking Miss Hunter to Philip is why you’re here. He should know why you’re so angry about him doing that. He should know.

He should know because he knows you were the one to find the twins. Two boys in agony, one covered in crystals. Children suffering because of selfish adults. Just like Sylus did. Just like Miss Hunter did. Just like you did.

The logical part of you knows that his goals for what he did weren’t anything like the ones that got the twins in that state. But, the other part of you, the one that made you come here, won’t listen.

That part of you remembers all those doctors. It remembers the padded rooms and the repeated cycles of accusations. It remembers the fear. It remembers the pain. And it remembers when you finally decided to run from all that.

That part of you is loud. It’s loud, it’s obnoxious, and it wants to cry. It wants to shed vicious tears and wretched sobs. But it doesn’t. It can’t. Because it wasn’t listened to in the past.

Why would this time be any different?

Because Sylus isn’t them, you remind yourself.

He’d listen to you. He has to listen to you. Sylus is a flawed man, not a monster. He’s a desperate and flawed man who just wants the love of all his lives back. He’s a desperate and flawed man who made a mistake.

And he has to know that, right?

“Than why are you here right now, my sweet Gamayun? Surely not to repeat the earlier interesting series of events? Or maybe go even further?”

“You’re deflecting,” you say immediately.

His usual jokes don’t make you flustered. Instead, they make you angrier as he avoids what you need yet again.

“That’s not an answer, sweetie.”

Something in you snaps. Maybe it’s the use of an old nickname. Maybe it’s due to another deflection. Maybe it’s both.

Either the case, you finally address the dreadful elephant in the room, “Why did you bring her to Philip?”

You ask because you want him to admit it himself. Hearing him say the words, the man you’ve loved for over a year, rather than Miss Hunter, the soulmate of said man, will makes things clearer.

Maybe it’ll undo the knot in your stomach and the dread that courses through your veins. Maybe his explanation will make the phantom needles go away, and drown out the screams of your precious boys.

Part of you knows that neither will happen. The other, more optimistic and the one that clings to your love, begs for something otherwise.

All that hopes drains away when you see the color leave Sylus’ face. His color seeps away at the same pace as your fleeting hope.

Oh God, what did you do, Sylus?

Miss Hunter didn’t give you any details. You can only speculate. But with this severe of reaction, especially coming from Sylus (who’s done a lot of questionable shit that he knows you’d never judge him for), you’re not sure you can handle the answer.

Miss Hunter avoiding your questions and looking apprehensive to tell you anything is one thing. Sylus doing it is a whole other can of worms. You steel your heart for whatever happens next.

“We weren’t resonating. I thought there was a problem with her. There isn’t, so we left.”

It’s about the same thing she told you. Enough to give you the gist. Enough to explain her fear and her discomfort. But not enough to explain Sylus’. Not nearly enough, given everything he’s seen and been through in both of his lives.

So you push, “Did you two rehearse your excuses, or did you both conveniently give me the same nonsense in hopes I wouldn’t press? Whatever the case, you ought to practice lying to me better.”

Sylus appears unaffected by your words. You, of course, know better. The slight knit of his brows, the way he holds himself and leans a tad more to one side. He’s so obvious to you that it’s painful.

“You really going to lie to me again, Sylus? After what happened last time?”

That full on makes him flinch. Your heart wavers as a result. That was a low blow. You both know that. And yet, you can’t back down. Because all you can see in your mind’s eye is the twins.

Luke trying to claw at his face, to etch in the same scars his brother carries. Kieran forcing himself to grow up even more as a result of that instability. The way they would both duck from mirrors, or even flat out shatter them, during those first few days.

Dozens and dozens of memories like that just sit in your mind. A weight unlike any weight you’ve ever carried. It festers there. It seeps into your veins, into your heart, and into your words.

You can’t escape it.

“What exactly are accusing us of, sweetie? Be specific. You how I hate to beat around the bush, and waste time.”

You do. And that’s exactly why you’re the negotiator of this business and not him.

Soon, she will take that place. Soon, I’ll need a new role in a new place.

“Is there anything in particular I should be accusing you of?” You counter.

“Not in my mind,” he glances you over from head to toe. “But that seems to be the case in your mind.”

A smirk crosses his lips. It’s not one of humor.

He words hit you to the core.

“That’s not an answer,” you shakily manage to get out.

“Well, if my answers aren’t satisfactory, maybe you can give me a direct question? As you say, it’s harder to avoid something if there’s no room to do so.”

That stupid smirk is still there. His eyes are still cold, colder than you’ve ever seen them directed at you.

“Did you or did you not hurt her?” You tone gets firmer the more you speak.

Sylus’ expression changes again. Not to one of humor or playfulness or anger like you expected. No, the Sylus before you was none of those right now.

He was betrayed.

“Who exactly do you think I am?”

“I don’t know!” You finally raise your voice despite all efforts not to. “I don’t know… why do you think I’m here? I need answers, Sylus. I need conformation that I’m missing something and that you didn’t do what I think you did.”

You pause for a moment, choking on your own words and emotions, “I need the truth from you. Please. I need the truth about this at the very least.”

Sylus says nothing for a moment. And you worry that this’ll be a rehash of your first fight. The fight that broke you. The fight that drove you away.

“My relationship to her isn’t your problem.”

Suddenly, you feel sick. But then, Sylus finally says something and you chase that nausea away, kicking it down with your professionalism.

“I want her gone,” he says with an odd amount of levity. “She isn’t worth the trouble she’s causing, so I pushed my plans forward ahead of schedule.”

You don’t entirely know what to say to that.

“Pardon?” You laugh a deranged laugh. “You brought her here. Why ever would you want her gone now after no progress on what ever it is that you need from her?”

“Like I said: she isn’t worth the effort. And I refuse to waste my time on useless things.”

“Useless? You have the gall, the absolute audacity, to call her useless?”

You aren’t yelling, despite how much you want to be. And that want gets stronger the amused Sylus appears.

“Why do you care so much about her, sweetie? She’s my guest, not yours.”

”Because she’s your soulmate. Because she’s the key to your happiness,” is what you want to say.

Instead, what comes out is, “Because I’ve become quite attached to her. And I find your attitude towards her appalling.”

“Of course you would, sweetie,” his voice gets quieter and softer. “Of course you would.”

Sylus gets close to you, putting his fingers beneath your chin and tilting your head upwards. You don’t resist; in fact, you embrace the small touch as much as possible.

“Because you have such a bleeding heart.”

You roll your eyes at him. Normally, Sylus says that to tease you. Like on negotiations where you spare the business partner in question. Or when you talk him down from simply killing his opponent and into seeing their usefulness. Or any of the numerous times you’ve brought in a stray animal and nursed it back to health.

He always says it in a teasing tone, almost mocking. But now, he says it with fondness.

Or love, your delusional and desperate brain says.

As soon as that thought cross your mind, you take a step back. Sylus immediately releases his hold on your chin, disappointment flashing across his face. Or, at least, that’s what you think you see.

“My heart aside,” you say to calm yourself and get your heart to stop racing. “That doesn’t change the fact that your behavior towards her has been reprehensible. Deplorable, even.”

“Why are so obsessed with her, Gamayun? Should I be jealous? She’s been tearing us apart just by being here. Don’t tell me she’s gone even further…”

He says it with jest and usual nonchalant attitude. But something in you tells you there’s more to it.

“Because of my bleeding heart, as you say,” you smile a bit before going back to a more serious expression. “And the fact that you two seem to hold so many secrets that I’m not privy too despite your less than stellar relationship.”

Suddenly, something in Sylus changes. You can’t quite put your finger on it, other than the fact that you strangely feel like prey. Like he’s hunting you or something like that. You’re on your guard. You’re waiting for him to strike.

Sylus lets out a bitter laugh. “You’re not being truthful with me either, sweetie.”

That makes you pause.

“This isn’t about me.”

“Isn’t it?” He takes a step closer to you, the smirk on his lips thinning and his expression shifting to a more softer one.

You don’t know exactly what’s in that smirk. Anger? Bitterness? Hurt?

Hatred? Annoyance? Grief? your thoughts whisper before you can shut them down.

“No, it isn’t.”

“Sure, sweetie,” he’s surprisingly genuine and not sarcastic with his tone. “Sure it isn’t.”

“What in the world are you going on about this time?”

Fear drips into your words. You hope it isn’t noticeable. But judging by Sylus’ face, you didn’t succeed.

I’ve lost my touch.

Being so utterly emotional for the past few days has done this to you. Made cracks in your armor that show more and more with every passing second.

Sylus reaches for you again. And you, again, accept the touch. He cradles you head, hands delicately cupping your face, thumbs rubbing your cheeks in a way he knows soothes you.

Foolish man and his foolish tenderness when you’re supposed to be angry at him.

“Your obsession with her. I’ve never seen you act this way.”

You’ve never seen me try to mend the bond between someone I love and their soulmate before. But, hey, there’s a first time for everything?

“I am not obsessed. I do not do obsessed.”

Sylus frowns. You’re the one doing the deflecting now. You’re the one using humor as a distraction now.

“Than what you call all this?” He keeps stroking your cheeks with a featherlight touch.

“Care? Empathy? Because, as you know, I have a bleeding heart.”

It’s getting harder to keep your tone light. You hope that your voice never wavers. You pray that Sylus doesn’t notice how your skin warms from embarrassment or how fast your heart rate is.

You can’t even look him the eyes. And you struggle with all your might not to squirm.

“Your bleeding heart has never gone this far. Nor made you this mad at me,” the chuckle he lets out at the end of his sentence is bitter, but his eyes are still as sweet as ever.

Every statement Sylus makes feels like he’s ripping you open more and more. Like the claws of the fiend he was has made their way around the individual bones of your ribcage and is slowly but surely prying them open. It’s like he wants to expose your heart to the world.

Your brain is beginning to fog. Your mouth is beginning to dry. And the urge to run from here is getting heavier and heavier. Your feet are glued to the ground, and at the same time, they feel like they want to take flight.

When was the last time I felt this way? When I was still back home? At the jewelry store? Or maybe my old bar job?

“Well, most people I deal with are people of the N109 Zone. They’re far more secretive and, how do you and the twins put it, murderous than little Miss Hunter.”

You speak in hopes of cutting off your own horrible train of thought. It doesn’t work very well.

So you keep talking, “Speaking of Miss Hunter, I’m no closer to having an earthly idea of why she’s here. And whatever plans you have with her seem sloppy for your standards. I’d give them negative reviews. Maybe that’s why you didn’t share them with me?”

Another crack in your armor shows with your final teasing question. A crack that Sylus sees judging by how he takes his hands off your face and a step away from you.

“Than I’ll share my ideas with you to get some feedback for a better showing next time.”

You consider your words. Because this is your chance. Your chance to be in the know. The chance to know the truth. The chance to hear from Sylus’ own lips about why he brought this woman here.

But, you’ll also have to hear about their connection. Their past. And their future as soulmates.

You couldn’t hear that. You can barely think about it and see the proof with your own eyes everyday. Hearing it… well, that’s another story.

If he had offered this before their bond, you would’ve taken it. Jumped for joy, even. But you can’t now.

I can’t hear you say that you two are soulmates. I can’t hear you talk about your destined love and what that means for your future. I can’t.

Because hearing that means I can’t lie to myself any longer.

Hearing Sylus’ conformation means you take away that last layer of protection you have, that last bit of lies you tell yourself. Because you’ve know for years what the threads you see mean. You’ve confirmed it several times since you first saw them at age 7.

But, with Sylus, sometimes you cling to thought of being wrong. Of not seeing what you think you’re seeing. His words are all that it would take for that temporary peace to come crashing down.

Who in their right mind would do that to themselves?

“No. After all, I’m just a lowly actress in this show of ours. I’m no director.”

“Oh, you are no actress, Gamayun. If anything, you’re my director and writer. I’m merely here to finance whatever your heart desires to create. So, let us discuss our visions for Miss Hunter, and draw up a new episode this season.”

“I’d rather you consider this my resignation from that role into a new one. Because acting is starting to sound more appealing.”

Sylus pulls back. His face falls, and lets out a deep sigh that shakes you to your core.

“Than what do you want from me, Gamayun?” He pulls you close again, your head resting on his chest. “I’m so tired of fighting with you over something, someone, so trivial.”

Tired.

That one words carries so much weight. It seeps into your lonely soul.

It’s exactly how you feel. How all that’s happened recently has made you feel. How all the secrets and the soulmates and the unrequited love has made you feel.

You’ve been tired for years. For so long you no longer know what “rest” really feels like.

Tired of loving a world that would reject you in a second. Tired of holding it together. Tired of lying.

And maybe that’s why you did what you did. Maybe that’s why you hurt Sylus. Because you’re tired of always being the one to run.

People in your life drifted from you, yes. But it was always you that had to put the final nail in the coffin of your relationships.

So maybe that’s why you’re so tired. And maybe you wanted to make Sylus tired. Tired of you. So tired of you and your shit that he just turns his back on you permanently.

Tired.

“I’m tired too,” is all you can muster at the moment.

You pull back from Sylus. But not for long. As soon as you slip out of his embrace, you sit on his bed and pat the place beside you. He sits down immediately.

The way you two sit, facing each other and knocking knees together, reminds you of the position you and Miss Hunter sat in not too long ago. It warms you heart in an ironic and bitter way.

But you chase those thoughts away to focus. Focus on Sylus and focus on what you need to do right now. You take his hand, giving it light squeeze, before you look him directly in the eyes and begin speaking.

“I’m sorry,” it’s hard to get the words out, not out of pride, but out of pain. “For pulling away. For being so hostile earlier. For saying… no, threatening to leave you. And for not trusting you.”

For hurting you, and doing that so you’d chase me away. For making you believe I could just abandon you. For being jealous of you finding your destined love. For acting like a complete ass. For being hurt by some silly words.

I’m so sorry, my Morana.

“I’m sorry too.”

“For?” You press him, despite the discomfort on his face.

“For the lying. For what I said when you confronted me. For not telling you about my plans to bring Miss Hunter here. For not telling of my plans with—“

“You don’t need to apologize for that.”

The shock on Sylus’ face is evident. Even if he doesn’t completely show it.

“I’m not entitled to every little thing in your life. Just as you aren’t mine. We both need to learn to be okay with that.”

You pause before continuing, “And we both are entitled to space whenever we want and for however we want. Just as long as we communicate things.”

Sylus just nods. He squeezes your hand tighter. His eyes have his signature glimmer back. One so uniquely Sylus you don’t know how to describe it.

My selfishness dulled that glimmer.

As you and Sylus just talk for a bit, you think to yourself about your new plan.

I can’t just leave. And even with Miss Hunter as my replacement, I need a better idea for my departure. Somewhere away from the two of them, but with ties to my current life so that there’s no suspicion._  An idea hits you: Onychinus has many connections, many of which you forged yourself.

Kai did always want to recruit me. Maybe I’ll finally take her up on the offer?

Author's Note: Also, please go to the original blurb to ask to be added to the taglist (it's impossible for me to keep checking every part every time I update).

2nd Author's Note: Do you prefer long chapters or short chapters? This story will be pretty long regardless, i just want to see what people prefer.

3rd Author's Note: Ikigai, Fun Fact = I originally was going to make this a one shot (and then plot ran away after breaking my kneecaps) and one where Reader didn't realize they were dating the entire time (but I wanted Sylus to suffer more, so I just made them very touchy, but with a line in the sand).

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