#I’m a lotr nerd first and foremost | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jiangwanyin · 4 years ago

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ooh ok; 1, 15, 17, 20, 22 :)

aw thanks thanks 😌💗💕

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

well the list does get longer and more specific the better you want to know and understand me, but for everyone's sake i think i'll just stick to things that give you a good general idea!!

read: first and foremost lotr of course and if you want to go even deeper, the silmarillion (and if you want to go still deeper, various bits and pieces from the history of middle earth especially athrabeth finrod ah andreth), norwegian wood by murakami, h is for hawk by helen macdonald for an insight into me coping with grief and trauma (no idea why anyone would want that but it's a deeply personal book to me and i can't just not include it), and the shadow of the wind by carlos ruiz zafón

watch: oh boy i can think of way too many but including but not limited to again obviously lotr, rocketman, howl's moving castle, empire records, kill your darlings, fallen angels, 10 things i hate about you, moulin rouge! and good will hunting as for tv shows, atla, seasons 2-4 of doctor who and i wouldn't force you to watch the whole thing but probably a few episodes of the untamed and merlin too

listen to: big god by florence + the machine, goodbye yellow brick road by elton john, rock n roll suicide and rebel rebel by david bowie, born on a different cloud by oasis, 5:06AM (every stranger's eyes) by roger waters, wooden ships by jefferson airplane, space truckin by deep purple (more for the vibes than the lyrics though) and aquarius from the hair soundtrack

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

okay i spent way too much time thinking about this but i think i'm going to just recycle three from my last answer whoops sorry 😳

lord of the rings obviously

h is for hawk by helen macdonald

norwegian wood by murakami

on the road by jack kerouac (i'm not sure how influential it really was in the long term but i did center my entire personality around it when i was like fourteen so it goes on the list)

aand i'm going to be really pretentious and say oedipus rex OR 1984 i can't choose

i feel like i'm forgetting something but here you go also i guess i could include some children's books that definitely shaped how i turned out like the neverending story and the secret garden and inkheart and the series that maybe not started but absolutely fueled my dragon obsession aka the last dragon chronicles aand i can think of others that maybe as a whole weren't particularly influential as a book but did make me realize/come to terms with something about myself *cough* loveless by alice oseman as well as others i was into when i was younger ranging from the tibetan book of the dead (which i never actually read cover to cover but i was a nerd and i found it fascinating and although i wasn't exactly new to the idea of rebirth etc it definitely influenced the way i see life and death) and various books about greek and egyptian mythology i grew up on to random YA books i enjoyed at the time and that actually had an impact on me like life: an exploded diagram by mal peet and junk by melvin burgess — neither of which i remember too well now but again, fourteen year old me was OBSESSED so they deserve a place on the list just as much as the books i've read more recently and feel the same way about 😌

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

ah gosh for the first time in a quite some time since i've been on here i can actually say yes?? which is a very welcome change,, i mean obviously it's pretty fandom-focused and i seem to have lost most of my classic rock and astrology mutuals in the process of moving accounts so there's considerably less of that on here than there is in my life but other than that i think it is for the most part :)

20. would you rather be in middle earth, narnia, hogwarts, or somewhere else?

middle earth of course 😌💖🌷🍃✨

22. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

oh wow vicky you really decided to choose violence and expose my boring lifestyle 😔😔

sleeping obviously hsnfdj

probably just being on my phone especially on here yikes

watching movies/tv shows

listening to music

ahh i want to say reading but i've been slacking off lately but i guess it still counts in the long run if you add up all the time since my childhood (actually that may even move it higher on the list but i have no idea)

#this is so long i'm sorry ahh i really don't know how to shut up do i hsnfvjxd #that answer to the book question definitely got a little out of hand but i hope it's comprehensible at least to make up for its length #anyways thanks again!!! 💖#this was fun although i definitely spent way too much time thinking about these–#asks #afklints

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bassfanimation · 8 years ago

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The Final Problem: Eurus’s crash therapy session

I've written one post talking about how my husband viewed the “I Love You” scene in The Final Problem. I wanted to write some more, as we’ve discussed TFP in depth together. We talk a lot about the media we consume because A) we're nerds, and B) our views are usually quite different.

It's also nice to have a male perspective on things, as it sometimes can shed some light where my female brain just bumbles around in the dark and stubs it's toe on the Feels Dresser. My husband views things very textually, but he is also fantastic at thinking about stuff on a meta level. It’s nice because he has no ulterior motives either, no shipper goggles or anything. I'm going to write a bit about his theories about TFP and what it all meant in his eyes. I'll add my own views as well, for comparison. This is going to be a long af post, so strap in!

(Disclaimer: this post may contain more shippy talk than you want, because I am a major Sherlolly/Molly Hooper lover, but you can also disregard my feelings and read for the hell of it.)

My hub said he views The Final Problem as the final case for Sherlock, which is essentially, solving himself. I remember when Mary's video appeared, and she said she was giving him the toughest case of his life. I seriously thought it was going to be for Sherlock to solve himself, which is the hardest thing for any person to do...to know yourself. Instead we got something equally wonderful, but a bit easier to solve: how to mend Sherlock's friendship with John and save him from eternal despair. Thankfully, Sherlock was a rousing success. He solved it.

"The next one won't be so easy." -Eurus Holmes, The Final Problem

The Final Problem, as my dude talked about it, is about the Holmes family, but mostly Eurus. It was about Eurus trying to go 'home', only she couldn't. She had to unlock the one person who could "save her soul", as the song puzzle went. In order to do that...she had to literally break down Sherlock's walls. Each major emotional wall he'd built was because of Eurus, so only she could break them down. Only she was smart enough, and ruthless enough, to accomplish this.

“You know the problem with disguises? No matter how hard you try, it’s always a self portrait.” -Irene Adler, A Scandal in Belgravia

It's very fitting that Eurus chose to reveal herself while she was disguised as a therapist, because TFP was in essence, a crash therapy session for Sherlock. Each room in Sherrinford was a self discovery trap. Now, someone was corresponding with me over the "I Love You" meaning and said it wasn't real because it was manipulation. That is correct in that it was manipulation...but that is what all therapy really is. It is someone very skilled manipulating you into understanding your own true feelings. As a person going through intensive therapy currently, let me tell you, this is exactly what TFP was. A very elaborate therapy session.

Room One: Sherlock, John, Mycroft and the Governor.

My hub sees this test as about Sherlock facing the fact that sometimes his actions will hurt his friends and family. Eurus gave Sherlock the choice of giving the gun to Mycroft or John so they could kill the Governor. He was choosing whether to hurt John or hurt Mycroft. Either of them would be hurt by being forced to kill an innocent man. Mycroft absolutely could not do it. John thought he could, but he couldn't either. In the end, their inaction killed two people, but Sherlock was directly responsible for that. He hurt John AND Mycroft without meaning to. The consequence was real...the Governor and his wife were killed. Sometimes your actions will hurt others, sometimes your innaction is just as dangerous. It will happen, and it will hurt you too. I actually 100% agree with this reading. My eyes popped out in amazement.

Room Two: Sherlock, John, and Mycroft.

My hub feels this test was to confront Sherlock with his arrogance. Three brothers, all hanging by ropes, one of them having killed their fourth brother, but which one? Sherlock solved the crime, but Eurus dropped the two innocent brothers, leaving the guilty one still hanging. The guilty man was eventually dropped as well, but it held a mirror up to Sherlock. How many times did he blithely solve a crime with no thought as to who might be hurt by that? It never mattered to him. Like Eurus said, "Innocent? Guilty? Punishing either feels the same." This is Eurus throwing Sherlock's arrogant disregard for real justice back in his face. He solves crimes to be "right", no matter what the consequence, no matter who he hurts. He's confronting his arrogance and his selfishness.

Room Three: Sherlock, John, and Mycroft. (This one may take some paragraphs, so bear with me.)

The coffin with the words "I Love You" on the lid. Me and my hub actually diverge a bit here, but I found his reading of it very interesting. Also, a man's perspective on love is great to have, considering Sherlock IS a man, and this whole episode is about a man’s love.

My hub was very passionate about discussing this one, which surprised me. Something he talks about quite often with me is how he feels female fandoms think they understand the minds of guys. "100 travel brochures do not equal a single trip." To understand a man’s feelings about love, you really need a man’s perspective. I can respect that, as I’d want the same kind of respect as a woman with my own feelings.

First and foremost, he thinks Sherlock's words were genuine. He said Sherlock's reaction was not that of a man who did not mean what he said...in fact it's the opposite, he meant it and it scares the shit out of him, hence the reaction we got. He said when you like someone, and they like you back but, for whatever reason, you refuse to pursue a relationship with that person. Often it's feelings of inadequacy. Sometimes you just don't really know how you feel about that person. Often, strong friendships can feel like love and if you are friends with a member of the sex you are attracted to, it can be easy to wonder if those feelings are love or not. The last thing you want to do is pursue those feelings and jeopardize that friendship.

If anything, the "I Love You" test showed JUST (he typed that in all caps in his chat to me) how amazingly important Molly is to Sherlock. He "humiliated" himself just as much as she did. By finally openly admitting that he might have feelings for her, he knows that he has essentially forever altered the nature of their friendship. Maybe it could grow into something more, but he could have easily destroyed it too. We see in the epilogue that they obviously got past it, but had we not gotten that scene it could easily have been the last time Molly ever answered his calls. That's why he has been so afraid to even broach the subject before now. The hub added to this that once you understand that Sherlock isn't a "high functioning sociopath" like he claims, then his actions all click and you realize he is a man who is seething with emotions and desperately trying to channel them in order to keep them contained.

"Sherlock is not all about thinking and rationality. He gets emotional, he lashes out, he shoots the wall. And when he can’t figure something out, he stabs it." -Mrs. Hudson, The Lying Detective

My hub continues on by saying that for someone as obviously traumatized by the loss of a close friend then it makes that scene with Molly so much more meaningful than just a guy telling a woman that he loves her. Imagine how traumatic it is to force someone like that to risk losing another close friend through their own actions. Sherlock actually doesn't consider John a friend at this point, he considers him family. They are brothers in arms. There's a special kind of relationship that guys share when they've fought alongside each other. That's what Tolkien was trying to show in LOTR. It's different from a romantic relationship. In some ways it's more intimate and closer. I think Mary saw that. It's why a lot of cops and soldiers end up divorced. Their wives see that bond that the guy has with his comrades and it puts a heavy strain. The fact that Mary was able to get past that and even encourage it is a testimony to just what an amazing woman she was. John was INCREDIBLY (his typed caps, again for emphasis) lucky to have her. (yay Mary Watson love)

To dovetail back to how this relates to Molly, my hub believes Molly would also be the kind of woman to be just like Mary. She would want him to be himself, to be with John, solving cases, being Sherlock and Dr. Watson. But again, he thinks Sherlock was just so afraid of losing Molly that he never even entertained the idea of being able to have a relationship with her, for fear of losing what they have. He is really surprised female fans don't understand this. He's heard so many women say that they couldn't imagine pursuing a relationship with a close friend because they didn't want to jeopardize that friendship. Even when you bring up that they are essentially already in a relationship with that person in everything but name. I actually agreed here, 1000%, because I've been in this situation myself...it is so, so, so painful...and you are always filled with regret over words that weren't said.

The last thing my husband said about the coffin test was that, to him, the coffin symbolized the death of Sherlock and Molly's current relationship, as it’s been throughout the show. It couldn't go back to the way it was, not after what was said. There is no more unspoken feelings hanging in the air. Everything is out in the open. There's only two outcomes now: either Sherlock did pursue a romantic relationship with Molly, or he simply couldn't bring himself to actually commit to her, but the words being said freed Molly of her unspoken, unrequited love, thus allowing her to actually move on. He thinks they did pursue a relationship, btw. He wasn't sure until our last viewing, but more on that later.

Lastly, I want to add that I view the coffin as an entirely different symbol. The coffin had the words "I Love You" on it. Where do we equate love coming from? The heart. When young Sherlock's best friend was killed, it effectively killed his heart. It was broken, shattered, dark, put away into a box....dead. The coffin represents the death of Sherlock's heart. It is the box containing all the love he used to feel inside it. The coffin test was by far the hardest test...it's the one that had the most harrowing effect on him. Opening your heart is the hardest thing for us, as human beings, to do. But Sherlock Holmes did it, even if it confused and frightened him to do it. Eurus forced it open, in front of John and Mycroft no less! Sherlock gently touching the lid of the coffin, he is feeling his heart, the heart he has missed for so, so long. He wants to break it out of that coffin...so he smashes it to bits, screaming while he does it. He is breaking his love free of death, out of that coffin.

"So many complicated emotions. I lost count!"- Eurus Holmes

Love is also confusing as hell for Sherlock. It's going to take a while for him to solve that particular one, for Molly. He can't solve it completely while in that room, so of course...he does what Mrs. Hudson said he does...he stabbed it...or rather, he dismantled it soundly. That's how strong his feelings were.

Room 4: Sherlock, John, Mycroft.

My hub felt this test was simple. It was to demonstrate to Sherlock that there will always come a time where he will have to choose between friends and family. He didn't have much else to say, but I have some feelings on it myself. I think Sherlock actually managed to turn the tables on Eurus during this one. Remember, his heart is wide open now. He busted it out of that coffin. It is confused and scared, but it is raw and beating like thunder. He cannot, will not choose between friends and family, because his friends ARE family. They are HIS. Their love is HIS. He cannot choose because there is no choice to make. He would rather truly destroy himself than dare hurt the people he loves any more. We saw this with the Culverton Smith case as well, so this one is no surprise. It was no surprise to Eurus either, which is why she was prepared.

Room 5: Sherlock.

Finally, the last bit of really amazing symbolism I want to talk about is when Sherlock was in the fake room, just outside Musgrave. The walls inside there were littered with photographs of the Holmes family. Sherlock, Mycroft, Eurus, Mummy, and Daddy. Sherlock's family. He is forced to look at those pictures...forced to look at who he used to be. Who Mycroft used to be. Who Eurus used to be. The love that existed there, the love he felt, the happiness he so briefly knew. He had made a prison inside himself...but suddenly he realizes it...all he has to do is push, one last time. The walls of the fake room literally fall down around him. His prison is no more. He's solved himself...now he must solve Eurus in order to save his family. He could only save John, and the little girl high above, if he solved The Final Problem: himself.

At last, we hear Sherlock say to Eurus when he's holding her in her burnt childhood bedroom that she got lost last time, but this time she can do it right. He's here now, here for her. He begs her to save his best friend this time...not let him die like last time. Sherlock effectively brings his little sister down to the ground again, and he did it with love. The entirety of The Final Problem represented unlocking Love. Love for his best friend, his inseparable partner: John. Love for his family, his big brother: Mycroft, who isn't as strong as he thinks, and Eurus, a little girl who was lost inside her own lonely, cold brilliance. Love for the quietly strong woman who's love for him was unbreakable: Molly Hooper. Love unlocked Eurus' prison, just as it unlocked Sherlock's. They brought each other 'home'.

And that is the long ass tale of me and my husband's discussing of this incredible, frustrating, tragic, beautiful, brilliant, messy episode of my favorite show of all time. I'll admit to you here, I cried in front of my hub when he compared the coffin to the state of Sherlock and Molly's relationship. He felt so bad, poor guy. I had also spent the day so upset over Moffat and Gatiss's flippant responses about the "I Love You" scene. Upon our final viewing at the theater though, walking out, my hub says, "I have a new theory. I'm almost positive Sherlock and Molly did pursue a relationship. When she walks into 221B, she's smiling really brightly, and she's heading in the direction where Sherlock was standing in the room." He is right. Molly could have walked in and simply stood gaping at the miracle of 221B's resurrection, or she could have stood alongside Mrs. Hudson. But nope. She went in the direction of the man she's loved for so, so long. She was going to Sherlock, who is now the good man everyone knew he could be.

Louise Brealey tweeted just before the final series aired that "Molly was back where she belonged." Molly belongs with Sherlock, just as much as John Watson, Rosie Watson, and Mrs. Hudson. She's a permanent part of this Sherlock Holmes's Baker Street. Forever. <3

#Sherlock #The Final Problem #Sherlolly #Molly Hooper #Eurus Holmes #long post #very long post #Sherlock meta

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