#I’m almost done with chapter one and I have the next two outlined

[staticfromthevoid]

The worst part about writing fan fiction is having to write it.

The second worst part is have little bits of an AU figured out, but being unsure if you’ll be able to fit them in. And if you can, if anyone will ask about it so you can prove you did think about it.

[livingdeadmlm]

You Bring me Closer to God pt2

Pronouns: reader is referred to as a man

Physical Sex: AMAB

How far are things going?: no smut this chapter

Warnings: bit of shame, priest reader getting teased alot, everyone wants you!!

Outline: Kieran brings two friends for a morning meal, and unknown best to you each man quickly sets their eyes on you

What inspired me to write how I did: the crappy priest romance book I got lol

Other: Yes, I am making this a harem fic. Those were my favorite fics in 2016, but they fell off after a while, and I want them back!!!

Previous Part or Next Part

The rhythmic clinking of pots and pans echoed through the quiet streets, almost rousing the entire town from its slumber as you threw yourself into the art of cooking. The early morning light filtered through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow on the countertop piled high with fresh ingredients. You needed the biscuit dough with fervor, the soft smell of sugar and flour in the air.

At that moment, the sizzling sounds of the bacon cooking combined with the gentle shaking of the oven rack as the biscuits baked provided a welcome distraction from the resurfacing memories of your dream that threatened to invade your mind. Each sizzle from the stovetop seemed to drown out the night's memories.

Because it was so early, most of the other people in the congregation hadn't shown up and wouldn't for two hours, so a confused expression painted your face as the heavy church doors opened and shut, light voices whispering.

Adjusting your cooking apron, you exited the kitchen and saw Kieran accompanied by two men. “Good morning, gentlemen!” you said, wiping your hands on the canvas apron before reaching out to the new man on the left. He spoke softly, “Mornin’, I’m Charles Smith.” he replied, his voice low, almost gravelly, the word slow and deliberate.

His handshake was firm—too firm. As you briefly touched, his hand enveloped yours with confidence. You felt the roughness of his palm and the deep scars on both hands, with one hand seeming to have a burn mark. But it was his eyes that stopped you. His gaze was intense, deep, and unwavering as if he could see right through you. The weight of it made your breath hitch, and you found yourself caught, unable to look away.

The other man stepped forward, his presence quieter but no less striking. “Buenos días, señor.” You noted the subtle scars on his fingers, signs of a hand that had seen its share of work, but the wounds seemed to look like cuts. But it was the softness of his touch that left you breathless. His hands were so unexpectedly tender, the softest hand you’d ever felt that wasn’t attached to a woman.

“Ah! Bue… nos dias! La comida. " You took a moment to pause and try to remember your Spanish classes from school. “Estará lista pronto.” His thumb brushed lightly over your knuckles, a small, unintentional gesture that felt like a jolt to your chest.

Sure, your Spanish was very slow to get out and slightly off, but he understood what you were trying to say. A smile graced his lips. “I speak English too, Father. It's very nice of you to try, though.” Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment, realizing the misstep, but it wasn’t just the mistake that left you flustered. It was the way his smile lingered, and his hand stayed a little longer in yours, “I’m Javier Escuella.”

“Well! Charles, Javier, and Kieran! Breakfast will be ready soon. I just put it in the oven. When it's done, you can grab it and go or join me at the kitchen table!” You spun on your heels, B-lining to the kitchen, nimble fingers toying with the crucifix around your neck that felt like it weighed a ton across your shoulders. Was this another test? Making you grapple with possible homosexuality and then throwing three very handsome men your way? How could God throw such temptation right in front of you?

You flipped the bacon in the pan: the golden-brown color and the sweet smell of biscuits filled the kitchen. Fresh eggs were on the counter, ready to be cooked in the bacon grease. The three men shuffled into the kitchen, sharing no words among themselves. You heard each of them pull out a chair and sit. You looked over your shoulder and smiled at each of them settling in.

“Living in a livestock town is great for fresh meat and eggs! Too bad it smells terrible out there,” you laughed, taking the bacon off the pan and gently shaking the extra fat before adding it to the pile you had already finished and putting that plate on the table.

“You men new to Valentine? I don’t think I’ve seen y’all around before!” You’d heard of new faces popping up around town from passing conversations you caught when there were church events. You pulled on a pair of oven mitts and glanced over at the men. Kieran’s gaze flickered briefly over your figure, his eyes lingering just a bit too long before he looked away.

Charles, always the quiet one, seemed distracted by the decor on the walls. His gaze skimmed over photos of past church members and the occasional framed painting. But Javier– Javier’s eyes were fixed on you. His intense stare followed every movement you made; you couldn’t determine his feelings. His dark eyes swirled with such an intensity.

“It’s just an extended stay,” Charles spoke, his voice steady, but you caught the subtle way his eyes strayed back to you, though he quickly masked it. “Yeah, we’re just passing through,” Javier’s raspy voice followed, rich and low, sending a jolt through you as you placed the hot pan in the center of the table. “Well, while you’re here, I’ll make sure you’re well-fed,” you offered with a smile. "No need to come to mass or anything." You turned to close the oven door, but as you did, you didn’t feel the weight of three pairs of eyes on you, each gaze landing right on your ass.

“I’d like to hear more about this town,” Javier said, his voice steady as he leaned forward, his eyes still fixed on you. "We don’t know much about it yet—other than the… livestock." He chuckled softly, and you couldn’t help but smile. People didn’t often visit the church outside of using the confessional booth on Sunday mornings or Wednesdays. “Well, there’s not much to it, really,” you said, facing him. "It’s small but rowdy. Just a week or so ago, there was this huge bar fight. I heard it over here.” Your voice held a worried tone as you recalled the yelling. You cracked two eggs into the skillet, and the oil popped slightly.

“Drinking is a strong vice; it makes people lose sense. But being down the road from it is not the worst. I like to think it's peaceful in the church.” You flipped the eggs, adding two more to the pan. Grabbing a plate, sprinkling salt and pepper, you placed the two cooked eggs on it. You put the first plate in front of Kieran. “Thank you for the food, Father (name)!” Kieran quickly dug in as Charles's plate was placed before him. Javier's plate promptly followed. Charles took a biscuit and made a small sandwich with egg and bacon. “Oh! That's very smart, Charles. You are a wise man!” You made your small sandwich, a grin across your face.

“You cook like this often?” Charles asked, taking a bite from his sandwich. You stiffened slightly, worried if everything had tasted bad or was overcooked. “Every day, I do breakfast and dinner; I hope you’re asking to come by more often and not because it's foul?” you laughed, trying to make light of it, but your smile faltered slightly. Your stomach is already twisted in ways you couldn’t explain, but to add the layer that your food was bad? Your stomach felt tight. “No, Father (Name), it's perfectly fine, very good food."

Javier leaned back in his chair, his eyes never leaving yours. “You’d make a good wife. Why aren’t you married?” he said, toned low and teasing. His voice was undeniably warm, and it made your skin flush. Javier shifted in his seat, his knee brushing against yours just slightly. The contact was subtle, but it sent a warmth flooding through you, making your breath hitch momentarily. You forced yourself to focus on the biscuit sandwich in your hand.

“Other than the fact that I am a man?” you said, trying to maintain your composure, though your voice trembled slightly. “I was young when I vowed chastity. I never was much into relationships. My relationship with God and friends has always taken up that space… at least, I like to think so.” You laughed weakly, hoping the words lighten enough to mask your uncertainty.

“You can’t miss what you’ve never had,” you said, trying to deflect, hoping to ease the weight of the question that had made your chest tighten. Each man’s mind seemed to race, caught somewhere between curiosity and something more, something deeper that you couldn’t quite name. “Never?” Charles chimed in, his voice a touch incredulous. He leaned forward slightly, his elbows resting on the table as he studied you. “Like never at all? Never a fling or a kiss?" You swallowed, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks as you finished the last bite of your biscuit sandwich, using the moment to avoid the pressure of their eyes on you. You wiped your mouth with a napkin, trying to act casual, but you could feel your pulse quicken, the room shrinking around you.

“Nope, Mister Smith,” you said with a playful edge, trying to lighten the mood, though you could hear your voice tremor. “I didn’t have a rebellious phase or anything.” Kieran, quietly observing the exchange, finally spoke up, his voice gentle: “You’re quite a good-looking man. Have girls never fallen over themselves for you?” Laughing, you shook your head. “Nope, my brothers always got those confessions in our neighborhood. I focused on playing and getting better at games to beat them.” Each man chuckled, finishing up his meal.

“You’re a strong man, Father (Name). If I had your looks, I’d be a friend of every lady.” Kieran had a big grin across his face, eating some leftover bacon. Charles stood and took everyone's plate, placing each in the sink before washing them. “Oh, Mister Smith! You don’t have to! Please, you are a guest.” You stood holding out your hand, and he softly brushed away. “You took the time to make food for those in need; the least we can do is wash the dishes, especially because we’ll return for dinner."

You felt a pair of hands pull you backward from your hips, “Well, don’t make us all look bad, Charles; we will help too, Father. You go sit down and rest.” Your skin continued to burn as Javier's hands lingered, “Well, if you men insist, I will find chores elsewhere; please let me know when you plan to head out! Dinner is at 7; bring any other friends you may have!”

You shuffled out of the kitchen, giving Kieran a smile as your mind went into a panic. You would take this time to wash your sheet and maybe have a dip in the nearby river, as the cool water would help you calm down a bit before they come back later.

[teddywesworl]

different anon but re: sex scenes ask, i’m curious to see how you lay out things to outline for continuity of characterization, and what the drive and stakes are in a scene to avoid the sexual archetypes. would you mind sharing what that process looks like for you? really admire your technical breakdowns of writing (yes even and especially when they end up being ‘controversial’)

ok so. I had to take this ask to a word doc to get all my thoughts in order, so that’s your fair warning about how involved my answer is going to be.

First off, I gotta say I always think it’s funny and strange which “takes” of mine get people in a twist, because it’s very frequently the really basic foundational stuff that you would be taught in the first week or two of any introductory fiction writing class. One time, multiple people blocked me on twitter for saying that every paragraph should serve the whole and that readers will get bored if you go on tangents that have nothing to do with the core drive of the story. There was a qrt with the ‘no fun allowed’ robot. I was basically explaining what “kill your darlings” actually means, but even that was too much.

That said, I think the key to continuity of character in sex scenes is very simple: treat sex as any other action, and treat sex scenes like any other scene.

Naturally, that’s easier said than done, because it contains within itself a pair of mandates:

Get your character fundamentals down before attempting to apply them to sex, and

Deconstruct your own relationship with DHSM archetypes.

Yes, sorry, the almost three hour long Contrapoints Twilight video really is the best framework I’ve ever encountered for breaking down cultural norms concerning sex in fiction (and irl tbh), and I think it’s required viewing for anyone who really wants to deliberately subvert those norms.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Step one: character fundamentals.

In the simplest possible terms, good smut is character work. You’re taking blorbo and putting them in a situation. Often, this is a deeply vulnerable situation wrapped up in a lot of emotions. What kind of emotions are they feeling? Do they feel vulnerable? How do they respond to that vulnerability? Are the blorbos boning out of love? Affection? Frustration? Fear of loss? Is it a hatefuck? Multiple of the above? That’s layer one.

Next layer down: are both (or however many) parties here for the same reason, or are their motivations and experiences different? Everyone in a story has their own drives which may be in conflict with one another or, at the very least, play off of one another in interesting ways; the same principle should apply to sex scenes.

Example.

This is from chapter 2 of baseless fabric:

Rook’s fingers bury themselves in Lucanis’s hair, her nails scraping his scalp. “I’ll show you,” she says, and then—oh, yes—tongues and teeth and spit! Rook’s arms around Lucanis’s neck. Arching backs and sweet sighs and a pleasure that fogs Lucanis’s mind. Rook pulls at Lucanis, and Lucanis tries to keep his hips away. He is embarrassed at how quickly he has grown hard; he is alarmed that he could be so forward, so presumptuous as to expose himself in this way and to seek this kind of pleasure in her. Why? asks Spite. It is for her. She came to you for this. Lucanis struggles against this reasoning, though he knows that Spite is correct. That strange despair deep within grows fat on this knowledge. He is still afraid, and it was such long and difficult work to accept that he would never be desired in this way by a person he desired in turn.

Three parties are involved in this scene: Spite, Lucanis, and Rook.

Spite has no sexual attraction or sex drive per se, because he is a non-corporeal entity to whom those concepts are kind of alien, but he enjoys physical pleasure and has an emotional attachment to both Lucanis and Rook, so there’s no reason to believe he wouldn’t enjoy sex. He experiences everything Lucanis’s body does, and he has a front row seat to the inner workings of Lucanis’s fucked up little brain. In the video game as written, one could argue that Spite’s core drive is essentially to help Lucanis first survive and then recover from extraordinary trauma (out of. Spite. literally). He picks apart Lucanis’s fear and self-hatred and exposes all of it to Rook, in full confidence that Rook can fix it.

Lucanis, meanwhile, is a big ol’ demi virgin who (I was just talking w @ofcrowsanddragons about this last night) has come to view his own basic human needs as monstrous. It’s dangerous for him to need anything. Even sleep! He’s had both physical and emotional vulnerability drilled out of him from a very young age! He can’t let anyone know he needs! What if his needs are exploited? What if someone notices he needs something and takes advantage? For Lucanis, I imagine that allowing himself to be vulnerable in a safe, controlled way that feels good, with someone he trusts entirely, would be… woof. Very intense.

Rook is the wild card in terms of fanfic and character study, because, as a customizable PC, she could be anything. And she might be physically undescribed in my fics, but the character choices I’ve made aren’t by mistake; I’m writing about The Lucanis Romance, after all, and that provides opportunities for Rook to play both partner and foil. And so: my Rook is sexually experienced, shameless, and a bit vulgar, and she grew up poor. She’s Lucanis’s opposite in a lot of ways, and she serves to highlight his hangups by contrast. He talks down at himself for “seeking pleasure in her,” while her desire for him is uncomplicated. She wants this guy. She cares for him. It feels good when he touches her. On its own, maybe that’s not super interesting fodder for fiction, but she and Spite force Lucanis to reckon with his irrational self-talk and maladaptive coping mechanisms. She can get away with being a bit two-dimensional, because her main function in the story is to challenge his perspective.

The climax (lol) of the fic is arguably the following line in chapter 3: “The despair of fulfillment, the anguish of joy—he thinks he is not made for such things, and so he fights them, even desperate as he is to submit.” Everything in this first encounter between Lucanis and Rook builds toward that final evolution of the idea that Lucanis fears his own emotional needs and resists their fulfillment.

Et voila: Lucanis’s character is examined and has the opportunity to develop through sex!

Still, I admit, all of this is easier said than done. Character study of any kind takes practice to get a feel for, and writing effective character-driven sex requires that you be aware of your own relationship with culturally imposed norms.

Step two: becoming an archetype understander

Watch the Contrapoints video if you haven’t. Yes, in full. I promise it’s worth it. But if you want to save it for later and keep reading this post now, DHSM stands for Default Heterosexual Sado-Masochism, and it’s an extremely useful framework for understanding how patriarchal romantic and sexual roles are organized.

Natalie Wynn defines DHSM as “a division of sexuality into bipolar roles,” as follows:

She goes on: “In reality, none of these roles are interchangeable or even necessarily correlated. Being masculine does not imply being a top, and neither imply being dominant. […] But in DHSM, these roles are assumed to be bundled together and assumed to belong to the sexuality of men.”

I contend that when we are reading E-rated fanfiction and we cross that jarring threshold from in-character plot to out-of-character smut, we have most often just encountered the author deferring to cultural sex scene-writing norms prescribed by DHSM. And, importantly, the sex scene doesn’t have to be heterosexual for DHSM to be in the room!

One of the most important things you can do as you’re writing sex is to ensure that you are aware of the cultural pressure to conform to this false dichotomy.  Notice I didn’t even say ‘don’t conform;’ there are certainly ways to examine & play with DHSM while nominally conforming to it. However, DHSM is omnipresent as a basic assumption in mainstream romance and romantic subplot, and you may be surprised at the extent to which the average person automatically reaches for it while writing. In fact, once you start seeing it, you may not be able to stop.

One of the things I really like about Lucanis as a character is his relationship to DHSM. He’s an assassin, arguably a professional predator. He is extremely rich, and he ends the story with a nation-shaping amount of political power. He is also, quite literally, possessed. His whole personal arc is about his fraught relationship with agency. His romance arc requires that you, the player, pursue him to a much more dramatic degree than any of the other companions, just to get to the point of acknowledged flirtation. He breaks the assumed role. He looks like the Latin Lover trope sprouted wings; but that’s not him.

This is, frankly, why a large proportion of the Rookanis ao3 tag bums me out: there’s so much fic in there that pulls back toward that assumption of bipolarity, flattening him as a result. Lucanis as an aggressive or dominant lover does nothing for me, because I feel that it misunderstands his approach to intimacy.

Now what?

I’ve just said an embarrassing number of words about writing pornography. But how does one synthesize all this stuff?

Here’s an exercise I recommend:

Pick a pairing of your choice and consider each character’s relationship with the DHSM dichotomy. Deliberately run down those columns above and decide which character more closely matches each descriptor in each pair, individually—if they match either, which they may not! Examine the ways in which that pairing might break bipolarity.

Then, try to come up with a sexual scenario that demonstrates that break in DHSM. This is a valuable exercise because it attacks both points simultaneously: it forces you to think of your character fundamentals, and it directly challenges the archetypes.

To use the same baseless fabric example, Rook is clearly the pursuer, but she’s got an exhibitionist streak, and she very much desires penetration:

She leans back, rests her weight on her hands, and deliberately opens the vee of her thighs. Her chemise drapes across them, and it hides very little. There is a shadow beneath, intensified by the flicker of the hearth, and Lucanis’s eye is drawn inexorably down—

Later in the same scene, Spite's POV refers to the act of penetrating Rook as surrender:

The body knows what to do. The instinct for it is ancient and innate, and the rhythm is made at the conjunction of Lucanis’s flesh and heart and mind. It is surrender, a hopeless exposure of underbelly and throat, and it feels good. Lucanis plants one hand on the table and rolls his hips.

Lucanis also acknowledges, multiple times, that he had his own preconceived notions about how sex is supposed to go, which Rook has challenged. For example:

Rook hums and smiles and closes the narrow gap between them. What begins as a simple press of lips develops into the luxuriant slide of tongues, Lucanis pushing the hem of her chemise up so he can bury his hand between her thighs. Rook hooks a knee over Lucanis’s hip and tugs him in until he acquiesces and thrusts into her. It is all slow and lazy. Soft. It feels the way Lucanis always thought it should, except in the ways he couldn’t have foreseen. His body aches from the violence of the previous day, and Rook’s must, as well; the pleasure cuts through the pain, colors it, transforms it into something almost sweet. Rook’s arms coil around him, and she makes the most beautiful little sounds.

(Uh oh, buddy! That's a little masochistic of you!)

If you are working deliberately to improve your character-driven sex scenes, I strongly recommend starting with short (up to like 3k words) ficlets as practice. Pick a trope or two to toss in for extra “put the blorbos in situations” sauce. Forced proximity! Drunken confessions! Hurt/comfort! Fuck or die! Etc. All great fun. Alternately, sometimes you will simply be possessed by the knowledge that certain characters will have certain kinks. Like Lucanis and somnophilia (you get it, right? I don’t even have to explain why. Isn’t that neat?).

As a side benefit, doing this exercise thoughtfully will make you better at character writing more generally. No, really. Spending this time analyzing characters’ relationships to intimacy will help you understand what makes them tick in so many other ways.

Let me sum up.

So, in summary: good smut is character work, and you need your character fundamentals first. However, cultural norms impose the division of sexuality into bipolar roles. Breaking that bipolarity subverts a subconscious expectation, adds tension and interest, and forces both writer and reader to really think about the characters in front of them.

Does that……. Does that answer your question about process?? I swear I didn’t start with the intent to write two thousand earth words about this. And also, I don’t typically sit down and think to myself “how will I break DHSM today?” I have enough practice at this point (and a deep enough obsession with the function of social power) that my disdain for DHSM automatically inserts itself into basically everything I write. I do think these two pieces (1. character first and 2. fuck DHSM) make up the foundation of how I approach smut, though, so hopefully this has been a useful response!!

[fancyfeathers]

HONESTLY william gives severe girldad energy. i always imagine him having two daughters. one physically resembling him but having her mother's nature and interests and the other being a copy of her mother's features but having his smarts. i can see the latter potentially being aware and somewhat wary of her parent's history. like, her father never felt like the knight rescuing princesses in the books she read, even after knowing how he 'saved' her. he felt more...like the evil keeping the maiden away.

The two would be a copy pretty much of William and their Uncle Louis with their personality dynamics. I’m just imagining the one who mentally resembles their father being very protective of their sister and mother as they got older, constantly clinging to their mother’s skirt and holding their sister’s hand, not because they are scare but because they don’t like her father getting close at all. Like if she sees him walking over to embrace his wife after returning home, she will immediately curl up to her mother’s side as to keep her mother occupied and then separated. William might catch on but given her young age he may just think she prefers her mother to him as his other daughter is far more clingy to him when he returns home, just like her mother was with her own father before his passing.

Then things slowly become clear to William, especially with her taste in books. When he was a child he had memorized all the works of Shakespeare and she was well on the way to do the same with just a different medium. When he was looking for her one day his wife informed him that she had dragged her Uncle Louis to take her to the library after she helped him clean, they had been there for at least five hours. When they returned, Louis was carrying at least six books in the hand that wasn’t holding onto his niece’s, and her free hand held two books, all of them being multi chapter books along with a few poetry collections. William reads to his other daughter when he tucks her in, but when he goes into her room she is already asleep, but clearly faking as he can tell her breathing is off and can see the outline of a book next to her under the covers. He comes in and sits down on the bed next to her, telling her that he knows she is awake, so almost guiltily she sits up, book in arms and he sees the title, The Merchant of Venice, a book her father knows far too well. He takes it in his hand, looking it over, flipping to the page she has bookmarked.

“I think you are a little young for this-“

“But didn’t you make a contract with a nobleman for a pound of flesh when you were only a few years older than me?”

“How did you-“

“I found the file on the court case in your office.”

It was then William realized his child was going to be as smart as him one day. So from then on he keeps a close eye on her, making sure she wouldn’t do anything he would have done. When he sees her tampering with the gas powered lighting in the drawing room and perhaps accompanying him and Uncle Louis to their country home when he goes to teach at University of Durham during the school term would do her good.

Don’t worry about mama, Uncle Albert will take care of her and her sister while they are gone.

[nanowrimo]

Pro Tips from a NaNo Coach: How to Write a Novel in 30 Days

NaNoWriMo can seem like a daunting task sometimes, for NaNo newbies and veterans alike. Fortunately, our NaNo Coaches are here to help guide you through November! Today, author Adiba Jaigirdar is here to share her advice on how to set yourself up for noveling success:

Welcome to the very first week of NaNoWriMo! I’ve done NaNoWriMo for (almost) every year since 2008. I’ve won some, I’ve lost some, but I’ve learned a lot along the way. In fact, I apply a lot of the tactics I learned in NaNoWriMo to all my writing. When I wrote my second book, Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating, I ended up with a first draft of 74,000 words written in 30 days. That wasn’t something I would have thought possible in 2008 when I was slogging through my very first 50,000-word novel. That’s why I’m here today to share with you a few tips and tricks I’ve picked up through my writing journey, in the hopes that they serve you and your novel this November: 

1. Accountability 

One of the most difficult parts of writing a novel is that it requires so much self-discipline. It’s not like a job you show up to where your boss is holding you accountable for how many words you’ve written. Only you are ultimately responsible for how much you get done—which is why it’s easy to get demotivated and give up. So, you need to figure out ways in which you can be accountable for your novel this month.

You’ll be glad to hear that you’ve already taken the first step in doing this: you’ve pledged to do NaNoWriMo. You’re here, ready to write. But you can go a step further: ask your friends and family to hold you accountable by checking in on your progress during the month. If you have friends who are doing NaNoWriMo that’s even better; you can hold each other accountable. If you’re on social media, you can share updates every day and be accountable to your followers. There are a lot of ways to do it; so figure out what kind of accountability works best for you! 

2. Planning 

Planning a novel is definitely not for everyone. This is coming from someone who has pantsed many books! Planning can look different for different people. If you are a true-blue plotter, you might have your entire novel planned from beginning to end, with comprehensive chapter outlines. But if you’re not someone who plots out your entire novel before you’ve written a single word, planning is still important.

This planning can look like a rough outline of your book or finishing your writing day and jotting down a few quick ideas of what to write when you come back to writing the next day, or it can be leaving yourself voice memos as ideas spark when you’re nowhere near your novel. Going into every new day of writing without any idea of what the blank page will hold is very, very daunting, which is why planning ahead can be just the motivation that you need to fulfill your word count goal for the day. 

3. Figure out what works for you 

I have published four books so far and I’ve written many more. The process of writing each of these books has been very different. I drafted one in three months, one in 30 days, one was completely plotted with a rigorous outline, while one was plotted with a flexible outline, and two were completely pantsed. What I’ve learned about myself is that to make a book work, sometimes I have to try something different.

The only thing NaNoWriMo requires of you is to write those 50,000 words. How you go about it depends on you. You don’t have to write every single day if that doesn’t work for you. You can write at the same time every day, or a different time every day depending on what sparks your creativity. You don’t have to participate in writing sprints if writing with a countdown doesn’t help you focus. The point is that now’s your time to figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. You might be surprised by what methods you swear will never work for you but ends up helping you over that finish line. 

4. Have fun!

This is easier said than done, but try to enjoy writing your novel. Especially when it feels difficult. When I wrote 74,000 words in 30 days, it felt like a breeze because I was having a lot of fun with my book. Try to remember what makes you excited about your novel and go back to that when it’s tough. If writing is what you love, find the joy of it and nurture it throughout this month. The more you enjoy it, the more likely you are to keep writing.

Adiba Jaigirdar is the award-winning, critically-acclaimed and bestselling author of The Henna Wars, Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating, A Million to One, and The Dos and Donuts of Love. A Bangladeshi/Irish writer and former teacher, she has an MA in Postcolonial Studies and a BA in English and History. She is the winner of the YA book prize 2022, the KPMG Children’s Books Ireland Awards 2021, and was a finalist for the 2022 Lambda Literary awards. When not writing, she is probably ranting about the ills of colonialism, playing video games, or expanding her overflowing lipstick collection.

[kosmicdream]

The FATE of FEAST FOR A KING

.. and Nasty Red Dogs… 

And some other miscellaneous thoughts about comics, writing, and time.... AND ENDINGS...

============= 

As I’m approaching 10 years on FFAK and NRD is currently 5, I’ve been reflecting a lot on How far this journey with comics has taken me and how far I still have yet to go. For those unaware, my first webcomic was actually Eggshells, which started in 2011, but i only started posting pages publicly in 2013. It too is unfinished, but its planned for 7 chapters. (I’m currently working on chapter 5, which probably will come out early next year.) I have 9 ongoing comics I’m working on. NINE!! 3 of those are FFAK related. (FFAK, After Dinner Treat, and the prequel series “Help.”) It is so many comics though. And beyond that! I have two other stories I’ve been working on for the past few years in secret, one being Nice Blue Cats, which I might still draw as a comic someday.. As well as a series of “one shots” that is meant to be its own collection. Slugmom and “The Teacher & The Fairy” are part of these one shot collections. Which, uh, it was designed to help me practice writing short stories. Which TT&TF is now going to be three parts long, and roughly 300 pages. So I guess that’s short enough…? Ha.. laughs… Anyway, as I was saying.. Sometimes I’m sure, readers might wonder. “Do you ever feel overwhelmed, with so many projects Kosmic?” Yeah dude. I sure fucking do. I got 9 of them! That’s more than a full pokemon team of projects that are potentially a decade + of work. A couple of them already are a decade old/older at this point. (Praeymoon is actually one of my oldest-lasting projects, even tho its first chapter only finally released in 2023.. I first attempted to draw ch1 back in 2016, but was unable to finish it and scrapped the “full color” angle i was trying then. ) All my current ongoing comic projects are as follows: Feast for a King, Nasty Red Dogs, Eggshells, The Teacher & the Fairy, Replacer, The Eyes of Miasma, FFAK: After Dinner Treat, FFAK: Help, are all written. The only one which isnt fully written is Praeymoon, which I don’t mind because the way that story is organized is almost more of a sandbox-fantasy world of mini stories. I’ll be honest, if you havent heard of Replacer or The Eyes of Miasma, I don’t blame you- its not that i don’t like those stories. They just kind of are the “most neglected” comics yet I’m also kind of amazed they exist at all, like I DONT know how I found the time to draw over 100 pages for both of them. They also have fully written outlines and all things considered, are probably only going to be under 400-500 pages in length. But that’s still a decent amount of work there. Its been ten years since I more or less started making webcomics… and as I plan, and try to calculate all my projects for the next 10 years, my main priority at the moment is well.. Finishing all of these fucking stories one way or another. Its hard! I don’t know if I can as I put way too much on my plate. But at the same time like.. Whatever. I could easily drop most of them, if I felt inclined to - but I don’t. They are my library of work, and I’ve sort of made an artist oath to myself that I will see as many of them to the end as I can. I’m excited that three are very close to its end. (Nasty Red Dogs, The Teacher & the Fairy, and Eggshells.) After that well.. I’ll see what I can cross off my list next once I get there.. That’s still going to take years to get those done. But hopefully not too many. 

[Spoilers for potential LENGTHS of FFAK/NRD.. And other things.. I speak very transparently about writing and working on comics here AND including my thoughts on ENDINGS.. You’ve been warned]

I’m comfortable enough sharing that the fairy comic is 3 parts, Eggshells is 7 chapters, but when it comes to FFAK/NRD.. Its much harder to give an estimate, or if sharing those things will only be disappointing or annoying to hear about.. If you have ever been around me for more than 10 minutes, i am constantly talk about the “length left” on these projects a lot anyway. At night, i count them in my head. In the day, I write little lists as if I’ve forgotten the names of them.. They are MY LIST.

 But for those who do not know and wish to, NRD is likely going to end with 10 chapters. I have extended this in the past, so it could still change.. but it only really has gotten “longer” due to pacing of scenes rather than the actual content. And Honestly, it was paced out specifically to avoid this next chapter. Not that I didn’t want to draw it, its because i was Scared to do it.. Why? Because there’s cars I have to draw in it. And dogs. I have drawn those things before, at least once or twice. But I do not enjoy drawing cars or dogs. Dogs are okay now, but i hate that they have legs. Dont give me references, i have those. Its just how my brain is, with those fuckign legs and how there’s four of them. I know practice makes perfect. Or do-able. I have drawn amost 1000 pages of NRD, i dont remember how they bend and i’ve forgiven myself for knowing there’s just some things god cannot do, which is to give kosmic the ability to look at a dog leg and understand. Anyway. Because of this reason, somehow, finishing NRD with it only possibly being 4 more chapters, still feels harder than finishing ALL of FFAK - which (drumroll) might be .. only around 10 or 12 chapters left. Yes, you heard me- for the second AND third arc. 10 or 12 more. Will that also change? Probably!!!!!! Like, yes… its been 9 years and I’ve completed a lot more than just 10 chapters of comics in that time.. But wrapping up a story is way harder and I dont know what that’s like..yet! But i feel still confident that i will. I mean, i don’t really have any other choice than to experience it. I used to recoil and fall apart just emotionally contemplating finishing FFAK. my FUCKING baby. My joy. You mean that has to end?? NEVER. My attachment to it and the characters was incomparable to anything else I had done, and in my mind ever WILL make… (and that is still true.) But.. I’m okay with that now and I actually look forward to seeing how it could end up. Even if its bad! 

Its kind of weird to say, I just don’t really think it will be.. super good? Like.. it could be? I don’t know how readers will react. I dont even know how I feel about the whole thing.. I have felt so many feelings about this comic already, now I’m kind of.. Past it in a new stage. Zen like peace almost. There’s just.. so much that I wanted to PUT in FFAK and so much i could STILL put in. But I kind of just am okay with what i wrote, does that even make sense? The whole comic has felt like such a fluke to me, from the very start. And I managed to accidentally make so many great things in it I don’t actually understand sometimes. And my dreams for the comic has been nearly limitless. I couldn’t possibly contain all the feelings I’ve had over this story over the many years I have been making it, and all the incredible narrative outcomes I could see the characters going in.. the possibilities, the parallels.. The anime music videos..  I would NOT compare my writing style to GRRM, I haven’t read his books. but I can’t help but feel a bit like a weird baby version of him with the amount of cast members I have to push around and draw.. And I want to be clear. If FFAK was written as a book, it wouldn’t happen. I cannot write books. I do not think writing books is easier/faster than making comics, but sometimes it is hard to have to draw everyone. Point is, I understand the reality of a long-term comic project now, I have numbers and logs to prove it  and my range. And I’m fairly consistent, even in my low days. So.. in recent years my writing style has.. has changed to accommodate.. Those.. General Realities i’ve observed in myself. 

That’s why the second arc excites me. It has a lot of uhh, urgency that underlies it. You might have already noticed a change in the tone in chapter 16, which I’ve been working on for almost a year now. (I mean, I’ve been working on the written version for.. LOL.. much longer.) Maybe you haven’t! It could all just be from my own POV with how differently i feel that I delegate time to characters now. I did not start “writing” FFAK until chapter 10, and then i did not really start WRITING writing ffak until about.. Honestly, i want to say as late as 2019. It TOOK SO LONG you guys. I dont even know how many fucking thousands of pages of madness word documents I’ve got, with revision after revision and trying to list, contain, every possibly plotline… character backstory.. Blah blah blah.. Ive cut it down so much its impressive only to me. I don’t remember my lore anymore , and i love it. My readers probably know my lore better, and I don’t love it. Except when it benefits me. Then Its good. I would not describe myself as a RUTHLESS cut THROAT author, im actually too way sentimental to really let go of anyone. That’s why it took me so long to kill off Rock, but also because I wanted spoon to look really sexy and evil and that’s hard to do sometimes when I cant remember what half side he is. And when he was flipping around, I had to actually make a paper doll for him so i could TRY .. TRY to draw his arm on the correct side. Sometimes I didn’t. I just let it go if the drawing is good enough and i let it be a fun game for the readers to catch. But anyway, That’s why characters like Aeschylus are still around. Now that time has passed, I kind of regret it. Rome was right.. I dont need Aeschylus here and I’m mad he brought his friend Randall too. That being said, they’re some of my favorite characters in this arc even if they’re totally useless. In general, i have tried my best to not repeat all my writing sins and all my regrets of arc 1. I would not have been able to do this without the help of NRD to help get me to see that I can get attached and motivated to write new stories. When I hit my writing block in 2016/2017, it almost broke FFAK. FFAK still continued, but it also didn’t. But i was patient, and i worked through it.. And now I look forward to the ends of my comics, not because I want them to end but I’m very deeply excited for all the new opportunities my imagination to go to. I don’t know what that will be like. I don’t know how long it will still take me to get there, but I have it on [digital] paper and it does feel good to see that. Its affirming. I feel like i have a clear mission and I feel strong enough to really do it and commit to it. The second arc has barely started but in my heart I’ve made peace with the ending, whatever it might actually result as. 

Plus if I finish it and its so bad, I’m sure that will be inspiring in itself! People might actually write fanfics!! I think a lot of readers are NOT going to enjoy the ships, for one. The MEAN greedy part of me hopes they don’t. That’s the most ruthless part of my writing to me is the ship choices. Oh! My evil mind. I mean theres no possible way to please everyone, or even myself, but there is a possible way to displease a lot of people. Including myself. So that’s kind of the route I find myself drawn to. Why? Because it gets me out of the hole of like.. I dunno, being stuck. 

I used to write out a lot of big posts but over the years, I’ve kinda stopped. Mostly bc they were honestly really repetitive..or about lore that didn’t truly matter too much… That hasn’t really changed. This post is more or less “im still working on it, everyone! Just hang tight! Wow it’ll be a crazy wild ride” but it also is something I wanted to write to myself as words of encouragement. This has been a tough year. Like so tough that its hard to think about. But its very nice to feel like, i guess, my drive for my stories hasn’t gone anywhere. If anything, i really feel like i’ve gone through the mourning and ego death of “not being able to write a thing how you want” and now I’ve made total peace with it. Its just gonna be what it is, and I like that actually. When my life is tough, my comics at the moment serve as a place of hope for me - and assurance that I can survive through tough years. That’s the message they have ultimately given me, finished or not. And… I honestly don’t think of FFAK or NRD as my masterpieces or anything, but i know they might very well be the only stories people will know of when they think of me. If they think of me! So I wanna do a complete job with those. Rest assured, it’ll get there. I cant make big promises about all the comics I work on… even the bonus comics for FFAK, but at least those main two are my main priorities. That has not changed. THE FIRE is still in me. Even if FFAK took a like.. Mental.. 5 year hiatus its back baby. 

I’m about 30 pages in to my 50 page script for chapter 16, so I guess it’ll be around 300-400 pages more before its done. Things are picking up speed! So it could be less. I am also preparing for the monster that is the 7th nasty red dogs chapter. I cannot stress ENOUGH that this next chapter, I have put off since chapter 4. Yes, I’ve actually buffed the story out to be longer than it intended, just to avoid drawing it. I even put a horse guy in there, I never draw horses because those ALSO have legs but they’re worse than dog legs. And, its not that i didn’t want to draw this part of the comic! But I didn’t think i could do it. It intimidated me. It still does, but, I’m gonna do it already. I know chapters 8-10 will be hard too but like…eh… I know in my heart its gonna really be about 7 for me. It always has been about 7 to me.. 2024 will be a big year for my comics for sure, just because of that alone I think. Not only will I have chapter 16 done, as the first step of the 2nd arc and a new adventure of my apocalyptic wormy drama, I’ll be facing my fears of the dog variety. Its TIME. 

I’m so happy people have stuck around for my work, or shared it with others, even if they’re a strange mess. Its interesting to see, who comes and goes. I still enjoy refreshing my comments every morning when I wake up, and right before I go to bed. Its comforting.

My closing thoughts on this. I don’t HATE the ending of FFAK. I… like it! Its an ending. But I LOVE the ending to NRD. i think that ones legit good, i hope. With FFAK, part of me kinda hopes that turning up the pressure on myself of proceeding anyway will help the story. I don’t really know, or expect the ending to change though LOL…. Maybe i’ll come up with something better, but it will be too late so I cant do it or something, and then we can ALL write fanfics together of something else. Then sometimes I think about GUNNM and how the first ending was retconned but then last order was like? Basically the first ending again? I dont know actually, its hard to remember. THATS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN BTW. Also the ending is not everyone dies, even though that ending is fun and tempting. I didn’t do it, because end of evangelion already exists and its got a great song to go along with it too. YES it is also tempting to have someone go “WELL That was A FEAST.. For a KING” as the like final line, but I.. it wont wont. I prommy i take the ending seriously.

The reason I wanted to write all this, with webcomics, I think in general too people are so scared about writing their big comics that take 328523895235 years and the ending being bad. I see so many webcomics just, kinda die before the finale.. Which I totally understand, But I just.. Wanna show everyone that its much better and much more satisfying to just write the ending even if its a fucking disaster LOL. Because ultimately, its a webcomic. I don’t even know how to spell but people read mine! And so.. If theres anything I feel like i can promise and deliver to the world of the internet/my readers, is this big fucking disaster mess.. But it will end someday! And I’ll miss it. I hope readers will too, when that day comes (?) in probably another… 10 years…. idk.... BUT UNTIL THEN.. I hope you’ll enjoy the rest of chapter 16!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Kosmic Dream

[madarasgirl]

Hiii! I love your fic ANFH, I saw you have another series for it planned after its complete. Will that be a one-shot or chapter fic? I’m rather just curious and by no means rushing you, just really excited 🥹❤️ always looking forward to another chapter of ANFH it’s soo good

Hey!!! Thank you for dropping by! I love these messages/asks. I think the next one is likely to be a one-shot. From the outline alone, it seems like it'll be another lengthy one. It is about the Reader choosing the path of vampirism and staying with Alucard forever. Could it be a potential two-shot? Maybe, but right now, I don't know where to split the story in a place that makes sense. We will see once I start writing that one!! The title will be "The Queen of the Night." Cliché for sure, but I think it's fitting for this couple.

I'm delighted that you are so excited for ANFH! I've been writing more lately. Ch. 25 is almost done. It should be posted this week once I look it over a bit more :D

[itsbenedict]

So this year went... not as good, vis-a-vis doing the things I wanted to do! Breaking down the goals...

Finish the first case of Justice/Arcana and revise the draft

Nnnnnope! I got through most of it, the players figured out the primary trick, but then I kind of hit a wall where I realized that I hadn't done enough to narrow down the culprit based on figuring out the trick. Doing so would require reworking the logistics such that the back room is the kitchen (an offscreen location the first draft never investigated) and characters have sandwich alibis. I've kind of got to go back to the drawing board here.

Finish the SakuraPetalFantasy walkthrough portion of Datasouls (not with the whole combat toy situation, just the rest of it)

Nope! I got chapter 4 done, but chapter 5 is only in an outline state right now. I did spend like a couple months doing Lost in Hearts instead, which built on the concept a little, but I didn't put in the work to finish things up.

Do 24 TFJ recaps, two per month

Nuh-uh. I got about halfway, but in addition to falling victim to my slump in the latter part of the year, TFJ itself kind of came to an unceremonious end due to some structural issues and player conflict. Current plan is to work with Farn to use the campaign as raw material to write a fantasy novel focusing on Saelhen.

Work through all the exercises in Genki 1 and 2, and catch up on WK reviews.

Nope- I mean, I caught up on reviews, but then fell out of the habit halfway through the year, and didn't finish the workbooks.

Date someone. I feel like I look decent and have a lot of desirable qualities that would make this not too hard to accomplish, but I have to put effort into looking or it’s never going to happen on its own. (I am unfortunately of the gender that doesn’t typically get asked out and has to take the initiative.) It’s gonna be tricky since I’m a weird person with weird life priorities and finding someone who’d actually be happy partnering up with that long-term is a tall order.

Haha, no. I wrote up a dating profile thing, and I did get one bite, but then she ghosted and it's been a couple months and it'd be awkward to try and go "hey, uh, are you still there?" at this point. I tried looking around myself, but I don't really know where to look- most dating sites are just hookup apps where you just swipe on faces nowadays, and that's useless to me. Everyone I've ever developed a crush on organically has been one of taken, ace, or lesbian, and at this point I have to assume there's a causal factor and I'm not just unlucky. I think I'm going to have to move somewhere more densely populated to have any shot at finding a good fit.

Actually get that standing desk walk-while-working workflow set up and establish an exercise routine that I keep to for more than half the year

Not quite. I did keep to an exercise routine for exactly seven months, but I didn't get the walk-while-working thing worked out- I haven't found any under-desk ellipticals that aren't extremely precarious and awkward to use while focusing on something else, so I'm thinking I should look for a mini treadmill next instead.

Release a functional version of that Fire Emblem content authoring tool

Nope! That was way more work than I expected- or at least, I expected I'd be able to keep working on it on and off throughout the year, which didn't happen. I did make pretty good progress, though- I'd say it's like, half done?

Replace grody old kitchen sink that has weird white stuff growing out from inside the handle

Okay I did do this one. But that was basically just a matter of ordering a thing on Home Depot and calling a plumber, so like, not exactly an achievement, just something I knew I'd keep forgetting to do indefinitely unless I put it on the list.

Finish the games I’m still playing through from this post

Almost! Still haven't finished The Sekimeiya, though I did make it far enough that I think I've got some kind of idea of how that egg thing works and how things fit together, even if there's a lot of gaps in the specifics.

Find some new source of income reliable enough to pay the bills without making me work more than 20 hours a week. (I’m a programmer, this is hypothetically doable.) Freelancing/contract work maybe?

Sorta? I did quit the horrible company that bought my division, but I stayed on as a contractor for miscellaneous stuff (and insisted on writing the noncompete clause out of the contract in negotiations, which they agreed to), and went back to work for the old company at the same time. At $100/hour, I worked an average of ten hours a week... kinda. The first five months or so, I worked almost not at all, living off my savings and doing odd jobs for less than my monthly expenses. The rest of the year, various disasters occurred and I was working my ass off putting out fires, so I was basically working full-time for much less than a full-time salary. I wouldn't say I nailed the employment situation, but I did keep my head above water.

How Come I Fucked Up?

Four reasons.

First, and smallest- halfway through the year was when the fires started at work and I started having way more stress and way less time. It was hard to focus on anything when something new was breaking and I was on the hook for it for months at a time.

Secondly: two of my grandparents died this year. Not only was this a pretty severe emotional blow, because they were amazing people and it's stupid and unfair that this happened- it also meant lots of traveling, to funerals and family events. It chewed through my budget and necessitated spending more hours on work, and left me exhausted and strung out for several weeks.

Thirdly and fourthly: the Elden Ring DLC came out, and also I got addicted to Pokérogue. I put... a stupid amount of hours into these games. Like two or three hours a day for multiple months. All my productive energy was consumed first by work, and then by vegging out and playing video games due to a lack of willpower.

This was a colossal failure. Like, from July onwards, I got practically nothing done. Half a year of my life, up in smoke! This is not sustainable. I need to do something major to course-correct here.

I think one thing that'll probably be worthwhile is... having failed to find a romantic partner, I need to move in with someone. I can resist the temptation to sit around like a lump doing repetitive videogames as long as there is some witness to my squalor. I'm very comfortable living alone, but I have to fight the temptation to vanish into comfort and never complete any of my many missions. I gotta have a friend around who can see when I'm wasting time, and cares at least a little about whether I'm getting things done.

So current plan is I'm moving to Providence with Farn pretty soon? And I'm going to try to land a flexible full-time position with just one of these companies I'm working with, so I can have health insurance and don't need to worry about being in the red during slow months.

[lithugraph]

What’s been new in writing? / Talk about a WIP you’re working on!

Oooh that’s a big ask, lol!

The thing I am most actively writing right now is the next chapter of The Book Smuggler. I’m about halfway through it. The fic as a whole is so close to being done, but I also have other projects/ideas I’m working on and will place them below the cut:

Hetalia

Other than The Book Smuggler, I also have been slowly working on the next chapter of Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea. Again, it’s another one that is almost done — maybe 1-2 more chapters. And I think if I don’t finish it before I finish The Book Smuggler, it will be my next priority to try and wrap up.

I’m working on the outline for a boxer!AU featuring PruAus, with a side of Spaus and maybe some Prumano?? It was inspired by @edel-scribe’s boxer!au. Posting my moodboard because I love visuals:

Once the other two are wrapped, I think this will be my next project. That, and continuing to write We Are Not Ourselves 😅.

Vikings

Savages: I’ve been tossing around the idea of a one-shot featuring Athelstan, Aethelwulf, and king Ecbert following Athelstan’s time in Wessex after the crucifixion scene.

Star Wars/The Bad Batch

Mors Tua, Vita Mea: Writing a fix it fic of sorts…aka how I think the last season should have gone.

Star Trek: Discovery

King of Fools: One-shot featuring Ruon Tarka and Osyraa. How he was captured by the Emerald Chain and his betrayal of Oros.

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

I love all your fanfics but as someone who has been reading since chapter 1 of the series I am probably most looking forward to the end of Cabin - i just checked out of curiosity and it's been almost 2 years since chapter 1! How time quickly passed, now i feel sttange with that 💙 So I think that if I were you I would focus on finishing the work I've already started and then start another one but I may be biased because I can't wait to see how it all turns out <3

Yeah it’s been a long time since Cabin first came out! Even longer since Mama’s boy came out. It hits me some time when I’m writing just how long I’ve been doing this and it’s wild seeing how much I’ve created in that time.

I understand just focusing on one thing and getting it done. For me personally that has some pros and cons. I do feel that I write better when I’m focusing on the same story. Switching between writings is always an adjustment. But if I don’t switch then there’s no adjustment.

On the other hand I get board. Last year when I was just focusing on Cabin it got draining. I know how all the endings will wrap up but sometimes getting from point A to point B is hard when you’re lacking inspiration/have writers block. Taking a break from that story while still writing really helps with that. For example I was have writers block with Visited recently. Getting away from it and writing the Quaritch wins au, something I had a lot of inspiration for, helped me stay in writing mode while I took time to think about my fic. And it really helped! I outlined all of Visited while I was writing the Quaritch Wins au and once I finished that au I was brimming with ideas for Visited. Now it’s coming along nicely and I’m excited about it again. Also If I’m being honest when I put Mama’s boy on hiatus to work on Cabin I lost a lot of steam for that fic that I feel I was never able to get back. That wouldn’t have happened if I’d rotated between the two instead of putting one on the back burner for months.

So I feel that I need the switch. I need multiple things to work on so I don’t burn out. Visited is so close to the end that it’ll be pretty simple for me to wrap up without losing steam. I’m thinking about outlining Mama’s boy to get a rough estimate of how many more chapters of that fic there’ll be then I’ll decide if I’ll just finish it off too or keep it in the rotation until I’m closer to the end.

After I wrote my update last night and thought about it I was leaning more towards the later option. Finishing Visited and Mama’s boy then rotating between Cabin, long form answers to my asks, and my next fic Trailer Trash. I’m thinking about Trailer Trash all the time these days and it’s taking a lot of restraint to not start it and focus.

So those are my thoughts. I’m not making promises and I don’t do release dates but I think the Sully P.O.V chapter of Cabin should come out late summer, like August or September if I stay on track so you’ll get more Cabin before you know it! 💙

[analogwriting]

It Comes in Waves

Chapter 23: Crumbly Waves

Trafalgar Law x gn!reader word count: 3k a/n: wow, sorry this took so long. there were a lot of parts i kept rewriting but i also took an impromptu vacay to see the fam for the holidays. boy howdy was that a trip. but i got an outline done for another fic i wanna do with killer ;a; i couldn't concentrate enough for this fic. since it's the ending parts, i wanted to be able to actually focus on it. anyway, here's to hoping it's not ass first|next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, is your name Keiki? Like that doctor called you?” A small Law asked you.

You blinked looking at him as you both browsed the market. Your father and the man that was with Law were talking about things and the two of you decided to go to the market to kill some time. You were craving some fish anyway.

“Hm?” You looked at him, shaking your head. “Ah, no. It’s just a word we use. It’s like a term of endearment for a child,” you explained with a shrug. “My name is y/n!” You smiled widely at him before looking at the fish currently on display.

“Also that doctor is my dad! He’s the best one on the island!” You smiled proudly with a nod.

“He’s the only doctor on the island,” the vendor chimed, looking at the two of you with a fond expression. You huffed, folding your arms. “Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean he can’t also be the best!”

“Yes it does,” Law said. “There’s no competition, so he can’t really be the best.” He looked at you with a weird expression and you scoffed. “Whatever, he’s the best.” You stuck your tongue out at him which he guffawed at you.

The vendor laughed at the two of you. “Is this your new friend, y/n?” You looked at the vendor and nodded, putting your arm around the boy next to you. “Absolutely!” Law sputtered, turning red as he pushed you off of him. “N-No, I’m not! I just met you!” He huffed, folding his arms and avoiding eye contact with you and the vendor.

Once more the vendor laughed, shaking his head. “Well, either way. A friend of our little y/n here, is a friend of ours.” He held out two small spam musubis. “How about a snack? I’m sure all this touring is working up an appetite.” He smiled at the two of you.

You grinned widely, happily taking it. “Thanks, Makani.” Law blinked, staring at it. He didn’t seem to trust it. You looked at him. “It’s okay! I promise it’s really yummy!” You smiled wide as you bit into yours. “Mm!” 

He watched you for a moment before taking the small snack from the vendor. He thanked him before taking a bite. “That’s not bad,” he mumbled. You smiled at him. “See!”

You two were walking on, the occasional vendor greeting you and you greeting them back. “Is everyone here so nice?” Law asked, looking at you.

“I think so, yeah. I’ve never met someone here I didn’t like.” You shrugged, putting your hands behind your head as you walked. “Well, one time a classmate of mine took my dessert without asking and I cried, but other than that, things are pretty nice!”

Law watched you for a long moment. You were so happy and carefree - he didn’t understand it. How could someone not have a single worry in the world? How could someone be so happy and smile all the time? And how the hell did that damn smile make his cheeks warm up? Maybe his sickness was getting worse, he’d need to let Corazon know as soon as possible.

“Are you okay, Law?” you asked, looking at him. He sputtered again, his cheeks turning red as he pulled down his hat. “I’m fine!” He huffed. “I was just…looking at your necklace,” he said, making an excuse. 

You looked down at the pendant around your neck and smiled widely. “Oh this? Everyone on the island has one!” You giggled and let it fall to your chest once more. “They’re essential to our lives and very important to us. We almost can’t live without them!”

Law just looked at you. “There’s no way a necklace can be that important.” You huffed at him and rolled your eyes. “I don’t expect you to understand, but that’s okay.” You smiled at him, making his heart race again. You looked at him for a moment. “I have a feeling you will know one day!” Then you laughed. He looked at you, confused. “Wait what does that-”

“Well, it’s getting late. We should probably head back. Dad should be making dinner soon!” You soon grabbed Law’s hand and took off despite his protests.

--

The memory invaded Law’s mind as he stared at the pendant currently in his hand. He had it engraved in his brain now. The unique shape, the stark white of it, every pattern and crevice that was in the design. That’s all he really did since you left. He was laying low, so he had plenty of time to just…think - and think he did. He spent a lot of time thinking about you. Wondering if you were okay. Well, not just wondering. Worrying. He was so worried about you that it almost drove him mad. 

He was also looking at a photo. It was of you, him, and Luffy. From the party, one of the celebrations from a successful mission. All three of you were fast asleep. He wasn’t sure where the picture came from, but he had found it in his jacket pocket when you returned it to him. He kept it ever since, looking at it whenever he missed you. Which has been a lot lately. 

He sighed, letting the pendant fall back onto his chest where it hadn’t left since you placed it on him. He placed the photo back into his pocket. He closed his eyes, memories playing behind his eyelids again. He might have only been on your island a few days all those years ago, but he had found great…comfort in them. Those days were the most normal he’d felt. Those few days, he was able to feel like a normal kid rather than a broken and sick child. He remembered Corazon even enjoying himself.

Even if he did almost accidentally catch your house on fire. 

Law smiled fondly at the memory. He didn’t really think about you or your island after they left. It had been a little too painful to think about. The sense of normalcy that he’d never be able to attain, especially after Corazon died. 

Over the years, he slowly had forgotten about that short solace he had experienced. A place he’d never be able to visit again, people he’d never see again. It was best not to dwell on it. He had no idea the fate of your island, but he knew he’d never be able to find it again. 

That was, until he had seen you that day. He had spotted you in the crowd of people. It was almost as if the world stopped as his eyes landed on you. He felt as if the world was granting him this one thing. Finally giving him a break he so desperately needed. A feel of comfort that he long yearned for. 

Only for it to be shattered when you didn’t seem to remember him.

He should’ve known that it had been too good to be true. It was only a few days and it was so long ago. He wasn’t surprised you didn’t remember. He was probably just one of the many passing faces you saw, nothing more than that. It had pained him to see the look of unrecognition in your eye. You had absolutely no recollection of who he was. Not even once you learned his name. You truly didn’t remember him and it pained him but, he still couldn’t help it. He held onto the hope that you’d remember.

He had also noticed you didn’t smile anymore. You seemed like a shell of the person you had been. Sure, people changed and grew up, but not as dramatically as you had changed. No one went from a smiling kid without a worry in the world to an emotionless shell of a human being without something terrible happening. He knew that first hand. 

Only what happened to make you this way? He knew he couldn’t just ask you, but he also knew that nothing was really known about your island. He had tried, once, to look into it. But to no avail. 

Fate kept torturing him further by repeatedly bringing you back into his life as well. Still not a single memory of him. When he had happened to run into you on that island and he saw that man harming you, he felt an anger within him that almost resembled primal rage. He had almost gone in and slaughtered the man where he stood for treating you in such a way - he barely kept his composure.

Between that and the scars he had seen on your body when he patched you up that time, he saw that you really had gone through something awful to make you the way you were. He had also assumed all the trauma had blocked out any good memories you might have had. It really made sense now why you wouldn’t remember him. He just…wished he could see that smile one more time.

Then you disappeared on him. It made him panic. It wasn’t like when you left him after the Sabaody incident where he knew you were okay and that he’d likely see you again. He had gone into the infirmary to check on you and you were just…gone. It sent him into a frenzy and he ran to the upper deck where he saw you take off. He didn’t understand why.

Fate had decided to tease him once more on that island where he had to win his crew back. Being thrown in a cell on a random island and it just happened to be you of all people? He had been so relieved to see you alive and well that he had almost just taken you in his arms and didn’t let you go, but he knew he couldn’t act like that.

His feelings for you had grown even more during your time on that island. Seeing how smart and capable you were, it blew him away. You were air headed back when you were a kid. Completely the opposite of how you were now. Given the circumstances, it made sense. But, you just kept pulling tricks out of a hat and Law was amazed every time. You basically had photographic memory and could just build a car in a couple of hours? You made him feel dumb. Something that hardly anyone could do, he always had the upper hand.

And he was falling so hard for you. 

Only for him to fall harder when he realized that you risked something so important to you for his own crew. A crew that you hadn’t known very well or very long. Sure, you had met them a couple of times, but nothing life changing to make someone risk their lives for them. But you did just that. Without hesitation either. There was no doubt in your actions and you took them definitively. You were so sure of yourself and it had blown him away.

Then he saw it again. That warm smile that had gotten his heart beating all those years ago. The one that you had worn almost constantly the entire time he had been on that island. He had almost just taken you in his arms right then and there, claiming you as his. You had this effect on him. You brought out his most primal urges. You made it hard for him to control himself.

His world had damn near shattered when you told him no. He had somewhat expected you to say yes because of how fast you were willing to lay down your life for the crew. And they had already grown fond of you in turn.

He respected your decision as much as he wasn’t a fan of it. How could he keep you safe if you weren’t where he could protect you? But then you basically promised to join his crew the next time you saw him and he had accepted those terms so quickly. He had never hoped so hard for fate to be kind.

The year you were apart, he had grown to accept he might not see you again. He didn’t see anything about you in the papers - he didn’t even exactly know what you were doing that was so important that you couldn’t join the crew. He had thought about you often and Shachi and Penguin didn’t let him hear the end of it. It was the worst that they knew him a little too well. They always knew when he was thinking about you, saying that there was a certain look in his eye when he did so.

Then Punk Hazard happened. Making the connection that the infamous Faceless Bounty and you were the same person alongside of thinking he saw you die was almost too much for him to handle. It took every fiber in his being not to completely shut down when he saw those events on the screen. Unbeknownst to Luffy, he had actually given him hope when he mentioned the possibility of you surviving. That a black screen didn’t mean you died.

He held on to that shred of hope as if his life depended on it.

Then Usopp had shown up what looked like your corpse and he, once again, almost shut down. Again, he held onto that hope. Luckily, Usopp had spoken quick enough, mentioning you were still breathing and he had silently thanked whatever god was looking down on him, deciding to grant him this one mercy. He worked hard with Chopper to heal your injuries, silently praying it would be enough to save your life. He was never one to believe in any form of deity, but here he was…praying you’d be okay.

When you stabilized, he had never felt more relieved in his life. Then when you woke up, all he wanted to do was spill all his feelings for you. To tell you how much you meant to him, but something stopped him and he ended up scolding you instead. He wasn’t exactly good at feelings. 

He also never really had the chance to ask you to join his crew. He was focused on taking down Doflamingo and Luffy was always attached to your hip. Seeing the way you had interacted with the Strawhats, he had kind of convinced himself that you’d rather join them than him. That you had forgotten the promise you made. He wanted you to be happy and you seemed to be that way around the Strawhats, so he had started backing off. 

Though, you made that impossible. You always seemed to find him. Maybe you hadn’t forgotten, after all. He knew you were also terrible at expressing when you wanted something. He, once more, had hope that you did remember and wanted to join. He just needed to ask now. Again, he never had the chance.

Finding out that your lives were both ruined by the same person was another cruel twist of fate he could’ve never dreamed of. You both had loved ones killed due to that damned warlord? It was asinine. 

Again, he watched as you gave away something important to save his life. You gave away the secret of your people. Your ability to heal others. Just to save his life. He had tried to talk you out of it, but just like before, your resolve was strong and you didn’t have a single doubt in your mind. You just kept taking his breath away and making him fall deeper in love with you. You were so selfless, so amazing. 

When he reunited with his own crew along with you, that also only solidified his decision on asking you to join his crew. Seeing how excited they were to see and interact with you, he knew that they had already accepted you as one of their own. They cared for you and you cared for them. If only he had mustered the courage to fucking ask. 

Now, you were currently risking your life for yet another person. It was just something you always did at this point. Your entire agenda was risking your life to free those who were enslaved, so it was no surprise that you offered to help save Sanji. 

Law was mad at himself. He should’ve asked you sooner to join his crew, so he could tell you no but…he knew you wouldn’t have listened. You joining the crew was just a formality and you wouldn’t have any problem standing up to him if you had to. You had no problem leaving if needed. He didn’t have any real power over you. You were the only person that would be able to outsmart him and be able to use his words against him.

“CAPTAIN!” “BOSS!” Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo’s voices tore him out of his thoughts abruptly. He jumped slightly, having been so lost in thought, he had forgotten they were even around.

He groaned, sitting up. “What? What are you being so loud for?”

The three of them were running, panting heavily as they pointed from where they had just been. “S-Strawhat! He’s back! And he’s with Roronoa Zoro, heading to Bakura Town!”

Law was on his feet in seconds. Strawhat was here? Well, that meant you were here? “Does that mean-?”

“We didn’t see them, captain,” Bepo said with a small frown. “Just the two.” Law felt his heart drop. If you weren’t with him, where were you? What happened? Were you okay? So many questions ran through his head, but he knew he needed to keep his cool. “Wait. They’re going to cause nothing but trouble! We have to stop those idiots!” His voice was progressively getting louder. 

And with that, they were off to try to prevent whatever trouble Luffy and Zoro were about to cause. Hopefully get some answers about your whereabouts as well.

[shylyobscene]

Quick message for the people who are following my fics about updates, what i’m working on next, etc ❤️

just so u guys know updates from me are gonna be slowing down a bit! i have plans/trips over the next couple months that are gonna be splitting my time :) i don’t have a strict uploading schedule anyway and i will still be updating my works over this period, i just can’t promise it’ll be every couple weeks like i had been doing lol

On butterfly caught:

next update from me will likely be a butterfly caught chapter. hoping to have it up and running soon! part of the reason it’s taking so long is because i actually ended up scrapping almost the entire outline i had for the second chapter lol. it wasn’t BAD, but it was mostly just set up for porn…except i ended up deciding that i actually wanted quite a bit of plot too. unfortunately my previous outline didn’t leave me a lot of wiggle room for character development or conflict 😭 needless to say, it took some time for me to figure out an entirely new direction for the fic while trying to write myself out of the hole i put myself in lol.

the very, VERY good news is that i think i succeeded!the outline for the next chapter of butterfly caught is, imo, 10x more engaging and 10x more sexy and 10x more true to the tone of the first chapter. and i am very excited about it!!

the other news is that i don’t know that it’ll necessary be done in just two chapters anymore lmao. i’m probably going to have to split it up. won’t be as long as ioft and i can’t say exactly how many more chapters it’ll be (maybe 3 or 4 total?? no clue), but uh….she’s gonna be a little longer than either of us anticipated, because i’m incapable of keeping things succinct.

planning to read through ch1 and edit it a bit (shouldn’t be anything that warrants a reread but i’ll lyk if that changes) then on to the next chapter ✨✨ sooo excited to get that out into the world!

On If Only for Tonight:

i just hit 100 kudos for this fic on ao3 🥹❤️ THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!! that is such a huge number considering how niche my subject of choice is (lol) and the fact that it has only been 2 months since i started uploading for that fic.

when i started posting a couple months ago i thought no one would be interesting in any of my stuff. i’ve been reading fics for so long and this is my first serious go at writing anything. all the kindness and support i’ve received means the world 🥹

don’t know when i’ll have the next chapter for ioft ready since i’m working on my other fic a little BUT we’re starting to get to the chapters i am really really excited about hehe.

hoping to be able to upload at least monthly for ioft, if not more often because i just personally love this fic lol.

final thoughts:

just so you guys know, i’ve got like a million different ideas knocking around in my head. so so excited to reveal all of the juicy little morsels i’ve got cooking up in my head 😈 im trying to get butterfly caught finished (or close to finished) before i start working on anything else though, since i anticipate it’ll be the shorter of my two works…and so that i don’t end up drowning myself in wips lol.

anywho thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has left me comments and kudos and who has taken the time to read my fics :’) i adore all of you and want to put you all in my pocket and carry you around with me forever ugh!!

[honeybumi]

what’s your writing process like? (how do you plan, do you outline, etc.)

also, hope you’re feeling better soon!! :] 🫶

Hi!! Great question! Okay, I have a lot of thoughts but I’ll try to keep this short and coherent lol

So I start off with a scene or dialogue and think to myself how did this character get here and why? Everything that comes to mind I type into a doc, even if it’s just a word or two. Then that evolves into writing down what I would like to see play out like character interactions, certain settings, themes I’d like to explore, conflicts, etc. Once I have enough information down, I start piecing together a story and outlining it with bullet points of major plot points. I also make a chart with character information (their personalities, backstory, connections, etc.) Only after this is set up can I finally begin to write. (The brainstorming doc can get messy and I constantly add more things to it).

Sometimes a bullet point from the main outline can span a few chapters, so I break it up into more detailed sections and assign a chapter to it. Whenever I sit down to write a new chapter I make sure that I have at least a general outline for it and rough estimate of the word count. The next step is what takes me the most time because I tend to overthink a lot and end up rewriting scenes or deleting them altogether. However, it’s also the step I enjoy the most because even adding a sentence means I’m pushing the story forward! This is when the chapter outline comes in handy because if I ever get stuck on a scene or piece of dialogue, I can just skip ahead and come back to it later. My first drafts are always full of notes I leave as I write for future me to use as a reference for an unfinished scene.

I’d like to add that I also like listening to ambience music while I work but I always end up zoning it out or shutting it off when I get in the zone lol

Then comes the editing which I also love doing because it means I’m in the home stretch! By this point, if the chapter doesn’t already have a title, I make it a goal to come up with one as I read through it (this can be inspired by a scene or theme but it has to be important to the chapter. Oh and I also like to sneak in double meanings for them). After this is done comes the tedious part of converting everything into the format Ao3 uses, but again, doing this means I’m almost done :D and all that’s left is to copy it into the Archive and type up an author’s note (which by then it could be anywhere between 1am-3am because nothing beats late night writing!!).

Hitting the “Post” button never fails to make me nervous but it’s a feeling I look forward to!

[awritingcaitlin]

August Wrap-Up

August was a bit like July. I wrote more than I thought I would. Slowly easing back into Heist. Actually feel like I’m getting somewhere again. Also it helps that I’m not holding myself accountable to have “[so many] chapters done by [date]” it’s more like “I will write/edit for at least 30 minutes every day and see how that goes.” And it’s working really well for me right now.

Still no move. Still no luck with job applications. Not much to say there because it’s depressing.

📺On the Screen📺

So we watched Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon. And that was fantastic. I knew I was gonna like it. I did not realize how much I was going to like it. I loved watching something that talked about diet serving you and your body, not trying to push yourself into something that’s ultimately bad for you. I loved watching everyone’s particular brand of autism. The magic system. The worldbuilding. The general symbolism I could write essays on it.

Marcille is, unsurprisingly, my favorite. You had me at “elf mage” to be honest. But also the way she approaches magic. The reason she does the things she does. Her propensity for “blow it up first, ask questions later.” Her particular brand of necromancy :) I just love her. I think one of my favorite parts was when they were fighting the red dragon and Laios told her to blast him up to the dragon’s face using only Senshi’s shield as protection and she balks a bit but then she does it. The two of them are matched crazy for crazy in the best way.

I’m slowly working my way through the manga now to see what happens next. I am mad that we didn’t get the bit about Marcille’s hair during the ritual but otherwise I’m loving how faithful the anime adaptation is. Looking forward to Season 2!

🎮With a Controller🎮

Technically, mouse and keyboard, but still. Continuing my run of Dragon Age: Origins. I keep binge playing it off and on. So I’m only about halfway through. I’ve finished Ostagar, done the Brecelian Forest, the Circle Tower, and Redcliffe through saving Connor. I’m now questing to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes.

I’m also going through a bit slower because I’m sorta-kinda writing down events as they happen for that theoretical Origins fanfic I keep telling myself I’m going to write. But I actually have more substance to it this time. (Oh yeah I did mention this last month. So yeah, it’s still happening.)

Also the brainrot of “Delicious in Dragon Age” happened and I was thinking about a blend of the two. Have I actually gone anywhere with this? Nope! But it sure was fun to think about for a few days.

(also it's so amusing when I'm on fire during a cutscene because the animation didn't stop prior to the scene starting.)

💻At the Keyboard💻

In addition to the zero draft stream-of-consciousness Dragon Age fanfic, I did put some more effort into Heist this month. Restructuring everything last month really got me going again. My total net word count for the month wasn’t very high, but that’s also because I’ve been deleting stuff that isn’t working. (Or, rather, moving it to a deleted scenes folder which doesn’t impact my total word count in Scrivener.)

But yeah, Chapter 27 got half rewritten to set up my new stakes. Then, naturally Chapter 28 needed edits to reflect that. Chapters 29-30 actually were mostly unaffected. But then Chapter 31 needed edits, Chapter 32 needed the major conversation in the second half entirely reworked, and Chapter 33 needed to be reworked tonally. Chapter 34 was entirely new, but it fit in and filled a hole nicely. The latest thing I’ve done is change the POV for Chapter 35, which I’m almost done with. There’s now going to be 48 chapters according to my most recent outline and hopefully I’m still under 110k words when I’m done. (Previous draft was 60 chapters and 106k words.)

But word count is actually not something I’m generally thinking about at the moment. I’m trying to get it all on the page. Ideally, by the end of this month I’ll be nearing the end of this draft. It’s the stretch goal, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it. 30 minutes a day minimum, we’ll see where that gets me.

More rambling about Heist under the cut:

The Needed Changes: (as of right now) Chapter 35 - POV shift that I’m still working on Chapter 36 - will need minor edits Chapter 37 - needs to be entirely redone Chapter 38 - I have a framework but the stuff I’ve changed will mean major edits Chapter 39 - taking bits and pieces from other chapters from the previous draft for an effectively brand-new chapter Chapter 40 - similar case as Chapter 39 Chapter 41 - framework there, but will need major edits to reflect previous changes Chapter 42 - moderate to major edits Chapter 43 - major edits Chapter 44 - moderate to major edits Chapter 45 - major edits Chapter 46 - major edits Chapter 47 - major edits Chapter 48 - mostly all good, but will need minor to moderate edits Anyway, here’s to getting further in this draft and getting it out to beta readers within a month or so!

[indiekidsau]

Chap. 20-Audrey’s Dream

Next chapter is here! Like I said in the last chapter we are back to some wholesomeness.

I worked on this chapter pretty fast after the last one I worked on, which was surprising. Currently, I’m taking it easy as I work on the next chapter as A LOT is going on in my personal life.

BIG thanks to @gigilefache for being my beta reader! As well as another beta reader joining the mix @mun-auroralore.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~

Audrey loved to create and draw. It was a dream of hers ever since her father and Henry took her to the movies, that she wanted to be just like them, an animator.  Another thing that drove her to draw was when her father gifted her a comic book full of fantastical pages. Since her earliest youth, Audrey's room had been covered in sketchbooks, graphic novels, and art supplies.

One Friday night,  Audrey had been putting the finishing touches to a comic she’d been working on since the beginning of summer. She was excited to get the first five chapters done, and was ready to share it with her friends tomorrow morning. 

Audrey heard a knock as she turned to the door and yelled, “It’s open!” 

Joey opened the door and smiled seeing his little girl finishing up her own comic. “I see you're working hard!” he exclaimed.

“Yep! I’m just finishing the outline and then I’ll get to bed,” Audrey explained.

Joey chuckled and ruffled his daughter’s hair. “Don’t push yourself, alright?”

“I won’t.” Audrey went back to outlining as Joey got up and left his daughter alone to work. 

After almost an half an hour, the comic was done. 

“There!” Audrey exclaimed.

Audrey put the pages together and set them aside before grabbing her phone. She texted Vanessa and Lucas separately.

Hey! Meet me at the local cafe tomorrow morning at 8:30! Have a good night! See you tomorrow.

Once she was done, Audrey got herself ready for bed. Just before she drifted off, her phone beeped and she quickly checked on it to see if Lucas and Vanessa had responded.

You got it! See you there! read Vanessa’s message.

Sure! Have a good night! read Lucas’s message,

Audrey smiled as she sent her friends a reply, wishing them good night before putting her phone to the side and getting some sleep.

The  following morning was chaotic for Vanessa. She woke up late and had to rush so she could meet with Audrey at the cafe. 

However, she wasn’t the only one who was running late, as Lucas was having the same issue.

The two were running so hastily that they didn’t notice they were running the opposite of each other. Lucas tried to stop, but it was too late as the two slammed into each other, causing them to fall.

The two let out a groan as Vanessa rubbed her head in pain. 

“Watch where you're going, idiot!” Vanessa yelled. 

She regretted her decision seeing she bumped into Lucas. “Oh Lucas, sorry!” She reached her hand to help him up. 

“Gah!” Lucas shouted as he slowly stood up as he held his head with his hand. “Vanessa! You should watch where you're going!”

“I said sorry!” Vanessa shouted back. “Besides, what are you doing here?”

“Audrey invited me here,” Lucas replied. His eyes widened in realization as he let out a groan. “Don’t tell me she invited both of us here.”

“Wow, you are a smart one, aren’t ya Lucas?” 

Vanessa and Lucas turned around to see Audrey had arrived. 

“Besides, you're both my friends so why not invite both of you along?” Audrey added.

Lucas and Vanessa looked at each other before deciding to go along with the day. 

“Alright. Morning, Audrey,” Lucas said.

“Morning!” Audrey beamed as she pulled her two friends into a hug. 

Lucas slightly blushed and Vanessa smiled as she hugged her friend back. 

“Well let’s go in! I have something to show you three!”Audrey said.

 The three walked inside the cafe, ordered their drinks, and found a place to sit.

Once the drinks were ready, Lucas grabbed his and the girls' before heading back to the table. “Alright, I got a vanilla iced latte with no whipped cream for Vanessa,” Lucas said as he gave Vanessa her drink, “I got a hot caramel coffee for Audrey and I got my iced caramel coffee.” Lucas sighed and sat down after announcing the drinks.

“Thank you Lucas,” Vanessa replied, taking a sip of her drink. “So Audrey, why did you call us here?”

Audrey smiled as she went to her backpack and took out her comic she was working on. “So before I met you two I’ve been working on my passion project. It’s not done yet but I figured I'll show you guys the first 5 chapters of it,” Audrey explained. 

With a smile, she lifted the cover of her comic that featured an anthropomorphic wolf and cat. The cat was cream in color with a grayish pink spot on her right eye while the wolf was white and purple,  welding a flaming sword. The two looked to be exploring a dark, spooky forest.

“It’s called Fireprint, it’s this fantasy story I’ve had in my head for a few years and since last summer I’ve finally got around writing it,” Audrey said.

“What’s it about?” Lucas asked, sipping his coffee.

“It's about a princess named Rosalie who becomes a knight to save her kingdom from an evil king and queen. She has to team up with a high ranking knight from her kingdom named Tyrian who takes no shit from anyone,” Audrey explained.

Lucas chuckled in excitement. “That sounds amazing! Anything else?” he asked.

“Well nothing really. I only got the first five chapters done, but that’s why I called you two here.” Audrey explained. She went to her backpack and took out two copies of her comic and held them out to Vanessa and Lucas. 

The two took their respective copies and Vanessa looked at Audrey in shock. “How were you able to draw this fast?” Vanessa asked.

Audrey giggled. “I didn’t draw the same thing three times, I used the copy machine back home,” she explained.

“O-Oh,” Vanessa replied, blushing in embarrassment.

Lucas snickered over Vanessa’s embarrassing claim, but stopped seeing Vanessa and Audrey glaring at him. He cleared his throat and asked, “So we can read this?”

Audrey nodded. “Yep, I’m giving you guys till next Saturday to read the comic and we’ll meet back here to discuss it,” she explained.

Vanessa and Lucas looked at each other before looking back at their friend. “Alright,” they both said.

“Perfect!” Audrey exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

The trio enjoyed their coffee and talked before leaving to enjoy the rest of their weekend.

However, something bothered Vanessa while she took a sip of her coffee.

Once back at home, Lucas was enjoying the comic. It made him feel young again as he read the adventures of Rosalie and Tyrian.

Meanwhile, Vanessa wasn’t reading the comic, but instead reading a novel. At times she’d look up from her book as she stared at Audrey’s comic sitting beside her before going back to her novel. Vanessa looked up at the comic one more time and sighed as she bookmarked and closed her book.

“It wouldn’t hurt to just skim through it,” she said to herself. 

Vanessa got out of bed and walked over to her desk as she picked up the comic. Hesitant, she turned to the first page and her eyes shined at how gorgeous her best friend’s artwork was.

The first page featured the setting of the story; the Kingdom of Prismiranda.

Vanessa giggled as she skimmed through the book seeing how Audrey designs from the setting to the characters.

“Vanessa!” a voice shouted.

Vanessa gasped as she dropped the book. She looked around her house wondering who made that voice.

“What are you doing?” the voice asked.

“N-Nothing, Mother!” Vanessa yelled in reply as she went back to bed and continued reading her novel.

But Vanessa didn't live with anyone but herself. She lived completely alone. Her mother wasn’t around, but Vanessa had thought her mom was scolding her like she was a little kid.

Monday finally rolled around. 

Audrey came in and unlocked the door to her classroom. Once inside, she put her stuff down and she heard a knock on her door. 

“Come in,” she called out.

The door opened and Lucas walked in smiling. “Morning, Audrey.”

Audrey giggled. “Morning, Lucas. You seem to be chipper today!” she exclaimed.

Lucas chuckled as he pulled up a chair and sat in front of Audrey’s desk. “Well, that’s because I couldn’t put your comic down!” he exclaimed. “Everything was amazing! From the characters, to the story! You've gotta tell me more!”

Audrey smiled hearing the compliments she got for her comic. The nervousness from before washed away like a tidal wave.

Vanessa walked into the school and passed by Audrey’s classroom, seeing her and Lucas talking, laughing about the comic. With a gulp, she kept on walking hoping to pass by her friends unnoticed.

Audrey saw Vanessa passing by. “Morning Vanessa!” she beamed.

“Fuck!” Vanessa cursed to herself. With a smile she turned and faced her friends. “Morning Audrey, Lucas. How are you today?” 

“Great!” Audrey replied. “Lucas was telling me that he enjoyed my comic.”

“O-Oh. That’s great.” Vanessa glanced at Lucas. She forgot her ex was such a bookworm and enjoyed any kind of book known to man.

“What about you?” Audrey asked.

Vanessa looked at her friend as she snapped out of her thoughts.

“What did you think of it?”

Vanessa bit her lip. She decided whether to lie about reading it or telling the truth. “Well. I didn’t finish it, but it looks great,” she lied, forcing a smile. Though it wasn’t really a lie as she did skim through a few pages.

Audrey smiled. “That’s great! I’m so glad you loved it!” she exclaimed, hugging her best friend.

Vanessa chuckled nervously. She hoped and begged that Audrey wasn’t gonna ask her what her favorite part was.

Lucas took notice of Vanessa’s expression and recognized that she was lying. He sighed.

“And don’t worry if you haven’t finished it. Reading and enjoying it is enough,” Audrey explained. “Remember, you have until Saturday.”

“R-Right,” Vanessa replied.

“Hey Audrey. Vanessa and I need to talk for a bit,” Lucas said as he took Vanessa by the hand.

“Oh, okay. See you guys at lunch?” Audrey asked.

Lucas nodded. He then took Vanessa to his classroom and closed the door and locked it. He looked back and sighed seeing Audrey was doing her own thing now. 

“Alright, tell me the truth, Vanessa,” he said.

Vanessa sighed. “Alright, I didn’t read it. I skimmed through it, but stopped,” she revealed.

“Why?” Lucas asked.

“My mother,” Vanessa answered.

Lucas’s eyes widened as he hadn’t heard Vanessa speak about her mother since the funeral. “Vanessa. Your mother died six years ago. Why do you still mention her if she’s not here?” he asked.

“I feel like she’s still there. Still telling me what to do and what not to do,” Vanessa explained. “I feel like I hear her.”

Lucas was about to reach and hug Vanessa, but he stopped, remembering the past. 

When Vanessa was like this she’d expect a hug from him to keep her sane and to stop her from venting. 

Lucas shook his head. He wasn’t going to hug her, but held her hand.

Vanessa’s eyes widened as she turned to see Lucas holding her hand.

“Van, remember what we talked about when your mother passed?” Lucas asked.

Vanessa went through her head before nodding in reply.

“Your mother has no control over you,” Lucas stated. “You don’t have to be scared to do what you want to do. I won’t say it again.”

Vanessa went quiet, but just as she was about to repeat the question something inside her made her close her mouth and nod. “Alright,” she whispered.

Lucas let go of Vanessa's hand and gave her a small smile. “I wish you luck Vanessa. I know you can do this,” he said before leaving her classroom. 

Once back at his classroom Lucas looked at his hand that held Vanessa’s which made him question what was that just now.

“Do I… still have feelings for her?” Lucas asked himself. 

He quickly shook it off as he heard students coming in ready to start a new week of school.

During study hall, the class couldn’t concentrate on their work as they saw Lucas reading Audrey’s comic.

Being the comic book collector he is, Kel was curious. 

“What’s Mr. Prince reading?” Kel asked, whispering.

“I don’t know,” Hat Kid replied, whispering as well. “Are you interested or something?”

“Hey when I see a comic I haven’t seen before I need to know!” Kel whispered. 

Mu sighed and turned to her friends joining the conversation. “Are you saying we should sneak into class and take a look at ourselves?” she asked.

Kel smiled. “That would be a good idea.”

“Or,” Elizabeth spoke up, tired of the conversation and decided to join, “you can just ask him. He’s just right there.” She pointed at her teacher.

Kel, Hat Kid, and Mu looked at their teacher before looking at each other. 

“But wouldn’t that ruin the fun?” Hat Kid asked.

“Yeah, it’s way more interesting to sneak in class and see what he’s reading,” Mu added.

Elizabeth frowned and turned away from the trio. She then looked up at her teacher and saw the biggest, goofiest smile on his face.

“Hey Mr. Prince! What are you reading?” she asked, raising her hand.

Lucas snapped out of his thoughts and turned to see the class, staring at him. “Uh… a magazine,” he answered.

“You sure it’s not a comic book?” Kel asked.

Lucas chuckled nervously. “W-what makes you think that?” he asked.

“The cover!” Kel answered pointing at the book.

Lucas turned to look at the cover and sighed. However, he wasn't defeated yet. “Alright yes it’s a comic, but I’m not telling you what it is,” he mocked as a smirk formed in his face.

The class groaned in disappointment as Lucas still kept the smirk on his face.

Kel and Hat Kid went to the front of Lucas’s desk and both had puppy dog eyes and begging for a chance to look.

“Come on! Please tell us!” Kel begged.

“Please! Let us read it!” Hat Kid begged as well.

Lucas sighed. “Alright, I’ll ask my friend this weekend if I can lend you guys a copy to read.”

“Yes!” Kel and Hat Kid cheered as they ran back to their seats.

Elizabeth and Mu looked at each other and sighed before going back to their work.

After school, Vanessa went back home and quickly picked up the comic. She took a deep breath and turned to the first page, lied down in bed, and started to read. 

As she read she smiled as she enjoyed the story. There were points where she laughed at Rosalie’s antics as the character almost reminded her of… well, her.

However, she felt sad seeing Rosalie’s kingdom destroyed, having to travel with Tyrian to find some ancient hero to save the kingdom. Though once it was just Rosalie and Tyrian she smiled seeing how they were able to work together and get along despite the situation at hand.

Vanessa sighed as she got to the end of the comic and almost cried as Tyrian got his arm cut off when battling against the villain, and trying to protect Rosalie.

Once done reading, Vanessa was ready to read the comic again. However, she decided to wait until the next day as she couldn’t grasp the fact Tyrian got hurt.

“DAMN IT AUDREY! WHY!” Vanessa screamed.

The week went by fast until it was finally Saturday. 

Audrey made it earlier than usual and waited for her friends to show up. It took a few minutes, but Audrey saw Vanessa and Lucas running late again.

Seeing her two friends about to run into each other, Audrey stepped back as she watched her two friends slam into each other again.

“Ah. Ow.” Lucas groaned, rubbing his head as a bruise started to form. “Watch it next time, Van!”

“Sorry!” Vanessa yelled back, rubbing her head as well.

“Morning, you two!” Audrey beamed.

“Morning, Audrey,” Lucas groaned.

“Ready to walk in?” Audrey asked.

“G-give us a second first.” Lucas waited for the throbbing in his head to settle down. Once the pain eased down he was ready to walk inside the cafe with Vanessa and Audrey. “Ready.”

Audrey smiled and walked inside the cafe with her friends. They got their usual drinks and sat down ready to discuss the comic.

“So it’s been a week since we last sat down and I wanted to know your thoughts on the first five chapters?” Audrey asked with a smile

“Amazing!” Lucas and Vanessa beamed at the same time.

The two froze and looked at each other with a small smile.

“In all honesty I never read a comic before and it was the best!” Vanessa beamed. “I never realized I could relate to Rosalie.”

“Okay, two things: one, you and I have to run to the bookstore after this because I can recommend some great series!” Audrey explained.

“That would be great!” Vanessa replied.

“Second, now that I can see it,” Audrey continued as she used her fingers to look like she’s taking a photo shoot of Vanessa, “you do give off princess vibes.”

Vanessa blushed at the compliment as she slowly drank her coffee.

“Technically, she was a princess,” Lucas replied after taking a sip of his coffee.

“You mean your princess?” Audrey asked.

Lucas almost spat out his coffee as Audrey chuckled seeing her best friend’s reaction.

Vanessa was blushing harder now as her face was fully red as a tomato at this point. She couldn’t even hold her coffee without her hands shaking.

“Audrey!” Lucas snapped.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just joking around,” Audrey replied.

Lucas glared as he started to blush as well. He turned to see Vanessa, still blushing and trying to drink her coffee. “Well, if you want to hear what I think. It’s great! I love the characters and story you got going,” he explained.

Vanessa felt relieved hearing Lucas’s thoughts that the blush on her face faded away and she was able to drink her coffee normally.

“Though can I make one small request?” Lucas asked.

“What��s that?” Audrey asked.

“Think you can make a few more copies for my class? Kel and Hat have been bugging me non stop to read it, but I wasn’t sure if you’d be okay with it,” Lucas explained.

“Sure,” Audrey replied. “I actually wanted to wait till you two read it before giving more sample copies to the kids.”

“Really? Why?” Vanessa asked.

Audrey took a sip of her coffee before answering. “Well, because you guys are my two closest friends. I figured giving you two the honor to read my comic.”

“And I- ” Vanessa paused. “I mean, we thank you for that.”

Lucas smiled. “Yes, thanks Audrey. We’ll be supporting you all the way.”

Audrey felt like crying at this point. She loved her best friends so much that she wanted to hug them. Heck, this is why she let them read the comic first before anyone else.

“Thank you guys. You two are the best,” Audrey replied.

Vanessa and Lucas smiled and went to enjoy their coffee.

“Oh. I forgot to mention something!” Vanessa exclaimed.

“What is it?” Audrey asked.

“Why did you have to end the chapter with Tyrian’s arm chopped off?!” Vanessa cried.

“I thought that would be a good way to end off,” Audrey answered, smugly. 

“Is he going to be okay? Is he gonna live?”

“Van. Relax,” Audrey said. “I’m working on chapter 6 right now.”

Vanessa sighed. “May I see it?”

“It’s at home so you’ll have to wait till I finish chapters 6 through 10 to know what happens,” Audrey replied.

Vanessa sighed as she puffed her cheeks like a chipmunk. 

Lucas and Audrey both chuckled at her appearance, which made Vanessa loosen her smile, joining in on the laugh as well. 

Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. This was a brand new chapter for Vanessa. And she was happy about it.

[onboardsorasora]

2, 4, 16, 22, 56, 58, 70 & 74 😊

hey Bestie!! it took me a minute lmao but here we go!

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Short answer: I try to. Long answer: I try to have an outline where I might jot down ideas in the spaces I think they can go and then I just write and see what happens. That's why I don’t like posting my big fics til theyre done because I add a lot of stuff after the fact.

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

😂😂😂 I know a lot of my ideas are very… out there and wonky. And truly it could be a random thought or a conversation/media– anything and if it snags then I try to think ‘ok [idea] what comes next’ and if its something I get excited about, i have a whole lot of moments where I’m audibly going ‘ooh but what if…’ and then I take up my phone and make a note in a doc. Some ideas get chosen, some don’t.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

So I’ll answer this in two ways: how many fic ideas do I have written down right that havent been fleshed out or posted: 9

How many of these ideas have more than just ‘idea au?’: 4

One of them is a music teacher au, where Daniel is a private music tutor and he’s supposed to be teaching Max how to play piano/cello (i haven't committed to any yet) and Max spends their tutoring time watching Daniel’s hands/fingers and how he feels the music and jacks off about it

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

I currently don’t have any because I’m willing to get out of my comfort zone to try new things (for example my new Dewis fic– terrified of doing a poor Lewis characterization)

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I think I have to give myself some props on my ideas and being able to actually flesh them out into interesting stories. And my comedy. (and my ability to put angst in everything lmao)

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)

I do love outlining. And then I procrastinate starting, because I find writing to be all encompassing, like I will ignore life if I’m trying to get an idea out. Editing is the part I like least, but it makes me giddy because that means I’m almost ready to share my idea

70. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

I actually don’t tell people anymore. Because then they think it means I can write anything and that’s just not true. But I used to be embarrassed to tell people  when I wrote Inuyasha fanfiction haha so there are people that know and more than likely have forgotten. I don’t hesitate to tell people i read fic though, so idk 

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

Oh this is hard because I truly don’t know if theres anything I that I do across fic. If there is, please lemme know!! I’ve managed to shoehorn a twilight (movie) reference in 2 of my big fics tho so that makes me giggle