#I'll try and be online a bit but may only be able to do good night posts for a while

[letterlifter]

A Long Diary Entry About Me and Recent Events

I wasn't planning on posting, but now that things have settled a bit, maybe i've changed my mind .... i dont know ... i am a very quiet person online. but it turns out i have a lot to say right now. So maybe it's good to put out a little blog every once in a while. maybe this will prove to be unwise ...

Intro

this will be fairly personal and not professional and not well written, so please do not over analyze it or think too hard. i only have good intentions, i promise. im also not a very organized thinker so this might be a mess. being perceived anywhere makes me profoundly nervous, so if you misbehave, i will continue to cease existing publicly online, and i shan't perform for you again... *disappears in a mist*

ahem...herm...

*comes back on stage, taps mic... clears throat... straightens papers...wipes away my blackened, exploded hair...*

this will be a little look into my world, and very honest... maybe a lot of what i have posted previously during my time at clash was overly sanitized cause i felt like i couldnt say anything publicly without repercussions.

hi, i hope you are all doing well... im mail but i geuss you knew that already. i haven't been on the clash team since functionally early last year due to various medical problems. i prefer to keep all of these things to myself, but, i feel that it's relevant to mention.

i have disappeared everywhere because of all of the "stuff" going on with me. this may be the first time some of my friends have seen signs of life from me in months, and i am so sorry about that. i care about you and think about you often. social media is still difficult for me to use right now, but i am trying to get better with it, and this is a step in that direction, maybe…?

there's other factors to me leaving clash of course (some of which have been mentioned by former staff recently). It’s freeing to speak so openly about corporate clash, especially its internal workings, because I felt like i couldn't say much here while actively being on the clash crew. it's why "nothing i say is canon" is plastered weirdly everywhere. it was probably, mostly, just my own nerves getting in the way though

ok well i'm taking it back everything i say is THE COMPLETE TRUTH!!!!!!! (i am joking) what i will say is true is that whatever you headcanon about any character i designed gets my HONEST AND TRUE stamp of mailman's approval. i am reclaiming them (Jokingly) (Lovingly) so that you can have them instead (Telling the truth) i also have not played toontown in like two years. If someone says you're a liar you can screenshot this and said "Mailman said so" and I won't  care It's not like i'll be there. also i genuinely believe some of you are more qualified than me or anyone to speak on these beloved and often lgbt characters. Please consider yourself to be the only correct source of clash information from now on. i have no real authority here, but neither do they ... 'cause like what're they gonna do ....

Anyways Whew! Glad that's over! No offense i am just joking around...i went through a lot but overall, Clash changed my life for the better. in some ways i am a bit sad that this chapter of my life has ended. but i will always love toontown and gay furries forever and ever. i am so, so happy that people like what I have contributed so much to.

oh and of course, i agree with the statements from former staff. like 90% of them are my friends after all so maybe i am a little biased here... i prefer to keep personal matters to myself but i experienced a lot of trauma there. im sure it was accidental on the part of others and i would never blame just one person for it. theres something that is just foundationally not working with their structure and it is hurting people, and I hope they're able to mend whatever that is. i am sure you leaderships are reading this, so, hello, i hope you are doing okay. im sorry about how stressful this all must be and i hope things improve. its true that most of us 1.3 developers left, but for those of you who knew me on the team, hiii i hope you are well

but ummm hmm how do i say this.

*Gets a puppet out to speak for me so i can remain blameless for whatever information i say because it may or may not be true*

and i am just a little puppet after all, using comedy to deflect any accusations of personal wrongdoing.... But this is my theory.

Because it is not a professional project, corporate clash will always be ran by volunteers who have never worked on a project on this scale. I think this results in accidental mismanagement. It’s really difficult to run a volunteer video game like this when it isn't structured like a close-knit friend group. In fact, “volunteer video games” do not really exist in any other context, so there’s nothing to reference. The more people there are, the more they may get neglected. so, i am sympathetic about how difficult it is to keep this game continuing and to be a lead for it. Especially on volunteer time.

Who said that. Throw that freak in the trash.

BOOM...

...

...

*Mailman returns and is picking off pieces of garbage*

well anyways. you have to imagine this has been a really strange, difficult, weird, upsetting, past couple of weeks for me. Especially me, who really doesn't like being perceived at all, being perceived... the horrors... i am still trying to return to normal, but it feels like something has changed in a cosmic sort of way, and i cant stop feeling it.

Clarification

ive been thinking about whether or not to include this next section, but i have decided to do so as briefly as possible, because i feel like it is important for me to clarify it. this piece of context feels important to me. please be responsible with it, and please don't use it to hurt others.

as you are all probably aware, stuck the duck did a stream recently covering the statements made by former staff. of course i agree with former staff, as I am former staff myself and i share some of their experiences, and many of them are friends of mine. i think stuck is really cool and he is a very kind person.

at the end of his stream, a statement was made regarding a situation where i was allegedly receiving poor treatment from cranky during a severe bout of illness.

i was not involved in making that statement, it was based on someone else's perspective on how i was treated at the time because i do not remember the situation for myself. i was so sick that i do not really remember what happened in detail.

all i remember is really wanting to complete the illustration because it was important to me, i wanted the community to have it with its corresponding update. i feel like cranky's statement regarding it is probably more accurate to my memory but i didnt read it in detail because these past few weeks have been a little nerve-wracking. i have been told by others that the situation appeared worse than what I remember, but again I cannot verify any of this.

but with how hard i worked on that illustration through illness, i do think it was disappointing and a little hurtful to forget about it until one of my friends reminded them it existed. but i understand things slip through and i have also made mistakes. i truly don't hold grudges because i lack the emotion of anger. I just get really scared.... . i am not completely happy with how the picture came out anyways, but thats probably because i was so sick when making it ….

i cant say whether or not it's true, or if cranky's participation was somewhat exaggerated. i think as community lead (?) he was in control of its distribution though. the only part i can verify is that they didnt use it for a long time despite my working very hard on it. but things happen in development all the time, and i am not really interested or comfortable in being centered in this situation.. i actually do not really want to receive any attention at all but i would feel bad ignoring this statement.

but please also understand this. cranky may have made mistakes in leadership, and he may have hurt people, including my friends, but based on what i know, which of course is not everything, i really don't believe he's an evil person, and i would ask that you please do not publicly attack people you do not know. i believe that everyone working on clash has its best interests in mind, even if i don't agree with all of their approaches. they are there, working for free, because they care about it.

there is a difference between attacking someone and sharing information with others. this is just my perspective, but as ex-staff, we are allowed to speak on this because we knew them, and these are our experiences, i hope you understand where i'm coming from here. a game of telephone starts happening and dishonest things are said by mistake. it may be best to just link to an individual's statements. Please treat all clash staff fairly.

with all of this unfortunate stuff going on, i saw someone i do not know claim that some clash staff would make fun of me behind my back, which is sad if true. but i dont know if its true or not so i wouldn’t hold it against them. at this point i have grieved about clash over and over again so there’s not much grief left to have. I only mention it because i hope its not true, and i have no way of knowing, because for the most part, i like everyone at clash, and i just want whoever allegedly said those things about me to know that.

i am not perfect either though. i try to do right by everyone nowadays because it's all i can do. so of course i would forgive them immediately.

thats all i have to say on the clash situation. thank you for listening to us. many of us thought these stories would never be heard. so i appreciate you listening if nothing else.

Me and What I am doing Now

i always felt like i would have a lot to talk about once leaving clash, but i actually dont. i dont have anything to say that i, or others, havent already said. once again i agree with the majority of ex-staff / my friends, but im talking about even casual stuff about development or whatever. i dont think its all that interesting to people that weren't there, and i'm not interested enough in clash anymore to make posts about it publicly.

i would post my personal work to other accounts, that could be cool, but i don't have much to say, and Im not able to make as much stuff as I used to. … i also do not get anything out of seeing a big number (Likes Or Reposts) on my drawings. so id be posting maybe once every four months ... or once a year … i have really bad time blindness which doesn't go well with social media. maybe i'll get back into it anyways some day. it's theoretically possible that a few people would like to see my drawings, but yet i post nothing ever, and thats a little sad.

if i do make a brand new account, i will probably be stealing this url. Sorry for any potential confusion in the future.

most of the time i am just doing my own thing working on my original, personal projects. i really love my characters and i do a lot of stuff with them. i make comics, stories, drawings, 3d models. You know how it is ... im working on a 3d model right now that i will probably go work on after i post this. i plan on integrating the 3d model into a little website that tells you all about the character and i think that will be really fun. I love making interactive stuff with my characters. youll be able to rotate it all around and stuff. i definitely wont be able to do that for all of them though ...  i'm probably not capable of making as much stuff as i used to in general, but i am at peace with that.

i also plan on making this  next 3d model into a VRchat avatar (like i usually do) but this time hopefully itll be my "main" model so i can feel less embarrassed logging in to hang out with friends. maybe You and Me can play vrchat some day. i am really shy online though so we’ll see. anyways its going to be  a really cute dragon thing and i'm going to make it wear my clothes. i like to collect vintage clothing from thrift stores and i have an outfit in mind. He's actually just one of my regular characters that i turned into a cute dragon, but i'm forcing him to represent me for now.

umm what else has been going on with me ... i played a lot of "fantasy life i" recently. and deltarune. i watched a lot of deltarune theory videos on youtube. i watched a whole documentary the other day and i have memory problems so i only realized at the end that i had already seen it before. I recently customized my web browser and im using “zen” now its kind of cool. Just now, I wrote a lot about these two metallica concerts i went to a few months ago (after much preparation) but I decided to delete all the stories from it in favor of just mentioning that i went.

anyways. it probably goes without saying, but i am not a social media person, and i cannot make as much stuff anymore, so all the stuff i make now is either for myself or is for one of the various projects im working on.

i will now talk about one of the various projects im working on. this one isn't a personal project though because im making it with my friends, many of whom made up some very large slices in that 1.3 pie chart:

FriendOS

So. Of course i am still a game developer. i really love working on games, and i dont think that will ever leave me. 3d modelling and animation, making assets, and character design are among the many things i do and want to continue doing. i suppose you could just consider me the "lead 3d artist" for this project.

my main project is now "FriendOS", a really advanced furry character creator with 3d platforming and bullethell battles.

I mean, a 3d platformer with bullethell battles and a really advanced furry character creator.

our game has a lot of cool stuff in it. For instance, we put a lot of work into the really advanced furry character creator, ensuring that you can mix 'n' match whatever pieces you'd like. And this time it's fun

I will give you a rundown as quickly as possible before you lose interest.

in friendOS, you play as a "Friend". Friends are a species of "digital avatar" that navigate a world made to represent an operating system.

Friends are wild, technically indestructible, and poorly mannered creatures. We are still researching their natural behaviors, but we do know that a friend has never been reported dead for long. They cause problems, yet they are the problem solvers, tasked with exploring the deepest parts of a computer to cleanse it of its rotten, virus-infected core.

Within FriendOS, the computer is accessed via "Bliss", an interactive 3d interface known for its heavenly lands full of rainbows, flowers, and files. It is a safe pasture for which the friends shall graze. The residents of this utopian town are very curious themselves. I heard one of them claims to have been a racecar driver, but I think he's lying.

Astron is our beloved god dog. He takes out the trash and tells the truth

Who is this  and why is he doing that

This world is very real to the residents of "Bliss". There's a lot of unique struggles that come with knowing you are living inside of a computer and being okay with that.

So, you are running around inside of an old computer. It's a land full of mysteries, collectables, gay people, very customizable little friends, and minigames. Minigames including fishing.

Yes Everyone in this game is gay and no one is going to get mad at me for saying that. In what way they are gay is for you to discover or decide for yourself.

I would go into more detail, but we still have a lot to work on, so it will probably change a lot. However I encourage you all to roleplay in a lobby some day. It's really fun

if you're actually reading this entire thing and send me a suggestion with some type of item you think friends would look beautiful wearing, i can't say it won't influence me. which, thanks for reading all of this by the way, it's very nice of you. the way i have designed this 3d artstyle is so that assets can be created as efficiently as possible, considering our team is very, very small. its all round and flat so they can be made quickly.

it's so nice to work on a team where we really get each other. now that i think about it, we've been making games together for like four years. we are all very confident developers which makes us very efficient at making things. everything we do is highly collaborative and we're always listening to each other.

i have been working on friendOS for like 8-10 months and we haven't fought over anything this entire time. its so beautiful. im sure that we will continue to only ever agree with each other, our team will remain motivated, and nothing bad will ever happen.

If you are interested in following the development of friendOS, I encourage you to join the official friendOS discord server. We have a long ways to go, but it’s read only, so you can comfortably ignore it at the bottom of your server list for as long as you want!

Closing

there is a good chance i will not be very involved in toontown after all of this. Clash was a little traumatizing for me and my friends. at various points in the timeline, things happened that i cannot talk about. i was treated poorly, my friends were treated poorly, and i'm sure no one did it on purpose, but it still happened. things happened that made me cry on behalf of others, which i haven't told many people.

but you know... there isn't much more that i want to make for toontown anyways. i feel like 1.3 was already my "dream update." i'm uninterested in working on any toontown private server in the future because i already know exactly what i would be doing, and i have done enough of it. I appreciate the freedom i have in creating whatever i'd like. for both myself and friendOS, i can make whatever designs and items and characters i want, and that's really cool.

clash has taught me so much, and it has even made me grow better as a person, but i feel like i need to move on as an artist. i'm thankful for what i have learned there and I apply it every day.

i hope that doesn't make anyone sad, because it doesn't really make me sad. I think it’s an exciting thing. i will probably always be around in some way, and clash will continue on in whatever way it chooses for itself.

I have been into toontown since around 2007. as of 2025, i think thats like 18 years of my life. Jeez ... so i have watched this game go through "cycles" a few times now. the first time was when TTO closed. then TTR opened in like 2014. then everyone felt like it was dead again, and clash opened in like 2017, then they released 1.1, and 1.2, and somewhere in there, TTR released field offices. and now we're working on friendOS, which is not toontown, but saying we are taking zero influences from our previous work would be an obvious lie. ....honestly in some ways, it is too similar for comfort....

and now, with all this stuff going on, and all these things being said, people seem to be low in spirits again. so i will give you some words of encouragement as a guy who has played this game for far too long:

you have a lot to look forward to. i mean, you certainly have more to look forward to regarding this game than i did in 2015. clash has gotten through many "difficult" circumstances and it will probably have more. there were points during 1.3 where i didn't know if it would even come out. but they are still here working on stuff. and of course, there are other private servers too. i am sure EVH will put out something really cool. some of my friends worked on "grindworks" but i have not played it for myself. TTR is still working on their next thing i'm sure. the game will probably always exist in some way. toontown has a much bigger fanbase than many of the things i'm into, which is really kind of crazy!

yes, as that one blogpost article pointed out, many of us 1.3 devs are gone. clash still has a team full of new, passionate people working on future content and im sure they will continue to create cool stuff. i hope you will support whatever they put out just as passionately.

in all truth, i care about you all much more than clash. mostly the gay players, and the furries, and all the artists, and the few of you who draw sexy duck shuffler on twitter. but of course, i am biased towards my own kind. i too am just some gay artist on the internet. you are the people important here, who are keeping the game alive. so remember that your passion is what fuels your game (all of toontown) to continue. i have never, not for a moment, taken any of you for granted. i am just some guy so anyone interacting with stuff i work on is amazing to me. i hope im able to buy a keychain from you some day. i don't even know if its possible for me to see all the fanart of the characters i designed but i still love and appreciate it all. ive seen quite a bit though. including some i saw on accident that i dont think you wanted me to see. Sorry

and the creative team. i am by no means perfect and i make my share of mistakes as we all do, but i always did as much as i could. you guys are the best and your contributions matter. every asset you create will forever be a gift to clash from you.

There are many people i could list out individually to thank, but i wouldn’t want to miss anyone. Because of my spontaneous health problems, I never got to give a formal goodbye to the clash crew so i couldn’t say thanks to anyone myself. I suppose none of them really know how i feel about any of this in general…. So if you worked with me on clash, i think very highly of you to this day.

for now i will leave you with this.

i love you very much.

thank you for playing our game.

thank you so much for loving the characters i put so much of myself into. it has not gone unnoticed from me.

please continue to be kind to the volunteers who work on clash.

please thank the moderators who moderate corporate clash. They see *everything*.

please be kind to yourself, be respectful to each other, and forgive yourself, and just for me, remember the poor Parrots who are going extinct due to the destruction of their habitats and homes (They are my favorite animal) and adopt don't shop. thank you.

[enchantedlandcoffee]

.

[viv-url]

Hey Viv! Do you have any tips for drawing anatomy?

weh... not really... after spending most of the year taking a break and only recently drawing again, I've come to the realization that my anatomy has so much farther to go. I will, however, share some things that I think are valuable for me and a part of how I draw:

in terms of the basics: aside from online tutorials, which are a lot of help, I have multiple books that I studied intensely off of. my favorite is this. I've seen artists be able to draw without guidelines and the infamous circles and sausages, but the way I draw is pretty similar to that wherein I draw very basic forms. some examples I can show that aren't too embarrassing:

everyone has their own way of problem solving anatomy/poses. mine is this: start with stickmen, really bad doodles that vaguely capture the essence of what I want to draw. and then I draw a really bad doodle developed off that. then I try a more refined sketch. and I redraw the entire sketch multiple times (as you can see in the examples above). oftentimes I'll duplicate the layer and continue reworking the sketch, and going back and forth to see which iteration works better. I think this would be tedious for many people, but that's what works best for me

sometimes, it's not just about drawing the pose anatomically correct. it's also about drawing it in a way that's convincing and aesthetically pleasing. a pose may be structurally sound, but is it the best portrayal? would it benefit from a bit of angle adjusting? is the way a knee or elbow foreshortened awkward? is there a better way to depict the kind of motion or pose you're trying to express, yet it doesn't totally adhere to logic? ironically, sometimes breaking the rules a little can make a pose more convincing. this only truly works when you have a good handle on the ways the human body can bend and move, though

I did already answer this kind of question years ago somewhere on this blog with different answers involving reference pictures and practice (you can check it out if you feel like it) so there's not much more I think I can say on the subject. but aside from that, I hope any of this was useful!!

[jewreallythinkthat]

Wait.

You blew my mind with:

“Canonically in Tanach, there is an admittance that other gods exist”

I didn’t know this! I’m agnostic, and not in anyway Jewish, but trying to learn more about peoples and cultures other than the one I was raised.

I always thought Jewish monotheism was similar to Xtian (if we can call the trinity monotheistic!) in that, there’s only one god and any other claims are people being mistaken because people.

Is this not the view in Judaism then? Is it like, there’s only one god Jews care about because covenant? Others exist and it’s fine for gentiles to worship them?

Hey Nonnie!

So like everything in Judaism, it's a hotly debated topic - and please other people on Jumblr, feel free to join in the convo! I cannot speak for all Jews so this is just my opinion and conclusions I've drawn from chats about Thai with friends.

There's a couple of points you've mentioned which I'll address (a bit out of order) if that's ok?

So about the trinity in Christianity, I've always found it a little bizarre as to me, the monotheism of having three 'aspects' of god is a bit ... Dodgy? I've never really been able to see how it can count as monotheism when prayers are literally sent to the father, the son and the holy spirit. But also, I'm not Christian and I'm sure someone may be able to hop in and explain how that doesn't count as praying to different gods!

I'm regard to the Jewish view of deities - I think a few quotes from the Tanach may be useful for this one. The translation I'm using is from Chabad online as I cannot be bothered to get my Tanach from the other side of the room and transcribe. Translations often vary a bit here and I prefer the ones I grew up with but the general gist will be there. I've highlighted the bits I view as especially important in red.

So first -

Genesis, chapter 1, verse 26

And God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and they shall rule over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the heaven and over the animals and over all the earth and over all the creeping things that creep upon the earth."

Genesis chapter 3, verse 22

Now the Lord God said, "Behold man has become like one of us, having the ability of knowing good and evil, and now, lest he stretch forth his hand and take also from the Tree of Life and eat and live forever."

I mean this, to me, implies G-d to be talking to others right? God says "our", as if more than one is there at the time, almost observing the creation. In the second one, again God is talking other beings which must be like God for they are referred to by the collective 'us'.

Exodus, chapter 20, verses 1-5 (the start of the first reading of the 10 commandments)

God spoke all these words, to respond:

"I am the Lord, your God, Who took you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

You shall not have the gods of others in My presence.

You shall not make for yourself a graven image or any likeness which is in the heavens above, which is on the earth below, or which is in the water beneath the earth.

You shall neither prostrate yourself before them nor worship them, for I, the Lord, your God, am a zealous God, Who visits the iniquity of the fathers upon the sons, upon the third and the fourth generation of those who hate Me,

So this is where it gets interesting. There is specificity in the first line 'your God', not the God of other people but specifically the people Yisrael for this is addressed to them and them alone. This then is followed by explicit acknowledgement that other peoples have their own gods and to worship them is a BIG no no.

This is also where we get another famous antisemitic trope from - the idea that Jews think they are better than others because they are the 'chosen' people. This is, of course, bollocks. Not only is the 'chose' more like chosen to do the washing up rather than chosen as favourite, it is also specifically to do with the Jews as the ones with whom God, our God, has the covenant. We are the ones in the contract, chosen to have to fulfill the mitzvot. The Jews were the ones with the king list of things they had to do while others are not bound by the covenant and may do as they please.

Now from the Haggadah (which tells the story of the exodus and is ready during the Passover Seder) we have this - it's the section about the 10th plague so there is a lot of talk of death and child death.

As it is said: “I shall pass through the land of Egypt on that night; I shall kill every firstborn son in the land of Egypt, man and beast, and I shall pass judgment on all the gods of Egypt: I am the LORD.”

“I shall pass through the land of Egypt on that night” – I and no angel. “I shall kill every firstborn son in the land of Egypt” – I and no seraph. “And I shall pass judgment on all the gods of Egypt” – I and no emissary. “I am the LORD” – It is I and no other.

We have explicit mention that the Egyptians have their own gods. We also have the final line - 'it is I and no other' - why would God need to clarify it is Godsself rather than a different god, unless God I is acknowledging there are other godly beings? It's also worth nothing, the judgment and punishment on the Egyptians is not a punishment for worshipping other gods for the Egyptians never entered into a covenant with Hashem - the Israelites who built the golden calf however did suffer quite severe punishment.

If there are other gods, the others have nothing to do with me because theyre not the one my people have a covenant with. If others want to worship them, I don't care. It doesn't affect me in any way so they can do what they want 🤣

I also, from a personal pov, like the fact that this horrific thing, the slaying of the first born, would be performed by God rather than being delegated to an angel or a seraph. There's something about the big boss taking on the worst of the jobs (as it were) which I really respect as clearly God has emotions (from the line about God being jealous) and I cannot imagine that slaying the first borns (of all ages, not just children, it just says every priest born) is a task that would have been anything other than mentally destroying.

It's also important to note that I do not believe this happened - otherwise I'd not be so flippant about mentions of child death and murder. I view the Torah as the written version of the oral histories of the Jewish people, a tribe's oral history that like with many indigenous peoples oral histories, has been embellished and mythologised. It's a good story with grains of truth to tell the history of how the people Yisrael came to be, how our culture and people became not just a group of random tribes but a community with shared history and culture and traditions.

I'm never sure if I believe God exists. Some days I really do wish there ot be something else - often when I think about achievements that I've done which are the result of the help of family members who have since died and I like the idea that they could still be there in some way to enjoy and see how grateful I am for them helping me get to where I am. Other times, I look at things like October 7th, the famine in Sudan, the innocents dying in Gaza, genocides in Rwanda, Bosnia, Cambodia etc and I think "how could a god allow this to happen". There is so much suffering in the world and I cannot bring myself to believe that a god could condone that when they have the power to literally create the world, to strike Egypt with the plages, when they have the power to stop the suffering.

I'm glad that in Judaism, we don't focus on the afterlife in the way I see it centred in Christianity and Islam. I don't view the notions of Heaven and Hell as beneficial and while ther are notions of them in Judaism, they've generally very much sidelined and not centered in conversation.

While the beneficiary of help does not care if you have helped them altruistically or because you think it will help you get into heaven, the concepts of heaven and hell have been used to slaughter so many innocents in the name of religion and I am thankful that for me, I've never seen this in Judaism because the important stuff is what happens when you're alive. You should be focussing on the here and now, to try and complete as many of God's commandments as possible. What happens when you die? Well frankly that's a problem for you when you get there. (Obviously I know there are extremists within the Jewish world - ie WB Settlers - but they are such a small minority and certainly are not a major part of the history of our people)

Anyway, this answer sort of got away from me so sorry about that. I hope you at least found it interesting and enjoy the foray into learning about other cultures!

[ss-shitstorm]

Hey I know you’ve probably already been asked this but what type of chemistry do you use for breaking bread like biochem and where did you learn this or have any book recommendations to pick it up? Also ty in advance I love your writing!!💕💕

oh my fucking god. oh my god. buddy. buddy you have made my fucking LIFE ASKING THIS OH GOD

So like, most of the chemistry I've used so far has just been Genchem and O Chem(with a wee few modifications to make it believable as a Cybertronian discipline, like Transformium being able to hold 4 bonds like Carbon but preferentially forming bonds w metals and needing an EMP pulse to interact w more electronegative atoms) I may wind up needing to get into a bit of Inorganic chemistry, but that's probably fewer and further in between. If you want a better handle on the stuff I'm writing or if you just want to learn more in general, then I'd recommend giving yourself a lil crash course in Genchem and then delving into O chem a bit more extensively (protip : you need WAY less Genchem then you'd think to fully understand O chem. God I wish someone had told me this 5 years ago. If you search "Genchem for non majors", you'll probably learn enough that way.)

THAT SAID : here's a chaotic, not really in any order list of the books/youtube channels/etc that I've directly used/am using for this fic.

Books :

Caveman Chemistry, Kevin R Dunn - Alot of hands-on old timey historical chemistry lessons w detailed instructions on how to complete them.(YOU GET TO MAKE YOUR OWN ASPIRIN AND DRAIN CLEANER!) Delivered with a delightfully occult bend.

Back To basics,(Reader's Digest) - Survivalist homesteading bible. Not strictly chemistry but has alot of earthy hippy ways of generating energy( biofuels my beloved)

An Introduction to Fire Dynamics, Dougal Drysdale - Honestly this, and any other firefighting manuals are worth their weight in gold for figuring out how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire while playing with, well, fire. Trying to look this info up online is like playing russian roulette with intentional misinformation and your fbi guy.

(there's another book I have that's even more detailed but I can't find it right now or remember the name. I'll update this list when I can!)

Organic Chemistry, John Mcmurray 8th edition : generic but good college O chem textbook. You can search around and find free versions to download relatively easily.

The Organic Chem Lab Survival Manual, James W Zubrick - Also a very good way to learn how to not set yourself and your neighborhood on fire when playing with glassware/gases. Very in-depth instructions on setting up and using lab equipment without breaking anything or your brain. Has a fuckton of pictures. Author has a massive sense of humor and makes this heavy subject easy to read. Again, easy to download/find in archives

Unfortunately I do not have any recommendations for Genchem books. I mostly used free online courses like Khan Academy to learn what I did.(I would def. recommend them though)

Youtube Channels :

The Organic Chemistry Tutor : Dude puts everything from reaction mechanisms to retrosynth problems down in the simplest possible terms. Does not beat around the bush with euphemisms or stories, gets right to business. If you have trouble paying attention, or lose your mind when a professor goes off on a tangent, this man is your savior. I have crippling unmedicated ADHD and no STEM background whatesoever and this man still managed to teach me 2 separate ways to execute a Gabriel Synthesis

Nile Red : World's most inefficient and most powerful wizard. I am not entirely convinced he's human. Does shit like turning plastic gloves into drinkable grape soda or making sweeteners out of his own piss and somehow makes it explainable to trash goblins like me who only need the science for warlord pussy.

again, anon, holy shit thank you so much. Like you wouldn't believe the amount of damage you've just undone. i have been beating myself into a pulp and spiraling into anxiety about this fic an trying to do everything right and you've given me enough moxie to fuel me for at least the next 10 chapters. If you have any more questions or more specific questions, please do not hesitate to ask! I can't guarantee I can answer them, but damnit I'll try. Take care and happy learning you funky lil moonbean.

[littleskeletonprincessss]

DILF - Ted Nivision x Reader

I think i'll make this a multi fic... no NSFW in this part but because of what a DILF is and the fact that it will be NSFW in future parts, I'm gonna go ahead and say MDNI

The vibration of your phone against your desk tore your tired eyes and depleting attention from Professor Stinwell's dull voice and the monotony that is color theory.

"Hello?" Your voice cracked from disuse.

"Hi, is this Y/N?" A deep voice responded.

"It is," you cleared your throat "May I ask who's calling?"

"Hi, This is Ted Nivision, my wife and I are friends of Heather's, and she recommended your babysitting service. I'm sorry, she gave us your number and said it'd be fine to reach out whenever."

"Yes! Of course. I'd be happy to help."

"That's a relief. Normally, we'd want to meet before hand for you to meet our girls, but we actually would need you for tonight, my mother in law had something come up last minute and isn't able to come. Would that be okay?"

"That's totally fine. How old are your girls?" You asked, trying to figure out what kind of activities to prepare.

"We have three year old twins, Penelope, we call her Penny, and Tilly."

"Those are beautiful names. What time do you need me tonight?"

"Would you be able to be here at 7:00? It would be a few hours, we have a late dinner with my wife's colleague, so we probably wouldn't be home until around 10:30."

"That totally works." You already knew you'd be exhausted for your early class tomorrow but wanted to make a good first impression.

"Great. Let me give you our address and we'll see you when you get here."

**********

Pulling up to the Nivision's house at 6:45 you admired how beautiful the house was. It wasn't massive, but it had the charm of a southern cottage that you loved, a comfortable looking swing sitting on the framed porch, toys littering the floor and ivy climbing the lattice on the side.

Knocking on the door you looked at the yard, noticing the obvious time that was put into the landscaping, lawn mowed to perfection, flower beds full of colors, and a large tree with a swing.

You turned back to the door when you heard it being unlocked.

"Y/N?" A man, you assumed Ted, answered. Looking up you were taken aback at how handsome he was, and his sweet brown eyes and infectious smile only added to his charm.

"That's me. You must be Ted, we spoke on the phone." You smiled back, offering your hand.

"It's nice to meet you." He said, taking your hand and shaking it before opening the door wider. "Please, come in."

"Carrie, the sitter is here!" He called up the stairs, walking into a family room to the right.

Following him in, you see two identical little girls sitting on the floor, surrounded by plastic plates and cups.

Ted sat between the girls, before taking a teacup from one of the girls, his large hands dwarfing it, and making you smile from the ridiculousness.

"We're having a tea party," he said, looking up at you. "Aren't we, girls? Can you say hi to Y/N?"

"Hi! I'm Y/N!" you said, crouching down and introducing yourself.

"Hi!" one of the little girls said, waving at you excitedly.

"That's Tilly. And this one-" Ted said, reaching out and tickling the other one, who'd handed him his tea, making her giggle. "is Penny."

"Hi, Penny." You whispered, giving a small wave, matching her shy demeanor.

"If you ladies would excuse me, I'm going to talk to Y/N for a bit." He says, standing and offering you a hand to help you up.

"Can I get you a water or anything?" Ted offers, walking into the kitchen, motioning for you to sit at the bar.

"That'd be great, thank you." He takes a water bottle from the fridge and slides it across the counter to you.

"So tell me about yourself, Y/N."

"Not much to tell, honestly. I'm taking classes online for Graphic Design, I have another year before I have my degree. Outside of that, I work at the library and babysit on the side."

"Graphic Design, huh? I should probably take a few classes, I could sure use it a bit for work. What do you do for the library? You seem a little young to be shushing people and checking in returns."

"Thank you," you laugh "I actually run the story time center, read to kids a few times a week."

"That's sweet. Do you like it?"

"I do. I love seeing their faces when the fairy tales become real, and their imaginations take over."

You blushed when you realized Ted had been watching you with a dopey smile on his face.

"What do you do and your wife do?"

"She works in corporate for a management company. Long hours, but it brings in good money, and I work from home so it's not so bad. My jobs a little less important, I'm a producer."

"What do you produce?"

"I write and then film videos for kids. Songs, make animations with it. And then outside of that one of my friends and I have a podcast."

"What is it called? I'll have to check it out, they're all that keeps me awake when I'm up late finishing projects."

"It's stupid, really. We started it up with another friend of ours just for fun and we talk about bullshit. But it's called Chuckle Sandwich."

"Sound interesting, I'll have to check it out."

You turned your head to the sound of heels clicking across the tile. An attractive woman walked in, fastening an earring, her business ensemble looking more expensive than your car.

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Carrie." She holds out a perfectly manicured hand.

"Y/N." you said, taking her hand to shake. "Ted tells me you work in management."

"Did he tell you to call him that? I'm sorry." She looked at Ted. "Honey, I've told you that's unprofessional. Mr. Nivision is fine, Y/N."

"Oh. Of course." You nod.

"Anyway, I'd love to stay and chat but we're running a bit late. "Theodore?" She says, walking out of the room.

"Right. That's my cue to leave. Um, emergency numbers on the fridge, you've got my number, but let me get you Carries, just in case." He says, writing on a hanging notepad. "The girls ate just before you got here, but there's leftovers in the fridge or snacks in the cabinet if they get hungry. Help yourself as well. Um... Bed by 9:00? Between you and me though, I don't usually get them to bed until later than that so you be the judge, I trust you. I think that's it." He says, looking around to see if anything would spark anything else. "Yeah, that's it."

Walking back in to the family room he leaned down to the twins.

"Okay babes, Mommy and I will be back later, but you might be asleep. You're gonna stay here with Y/N, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Yes, Daddy!"

Ted pulled them both in for a hug, blowing raspberries into both their cheeks.

"Love you to death." he says, standing. "Thanks again, and I'm sorry for the late notice."

"No worries! Have fun."

*************

A while later you were singing songs with the girls, and were currently only the alphabet.

"-E F G, H, I, J, K, LMNOP, Q-"

"That's my name." You looked at Penny where she was sitting at your feet and coloring.

"What was that, Penny?"

You said my name. Penelope."

"Kinda sounded like that, didn't it? Should we call you that now? LMNOP?" She gave the biggest smile you'd seen from her since you'd met her and nodded.

"Okay, sounds great." you laugh. Looking at the clock you noticed the time. "It's getting kind of late. Should we put on a movie before we go to bed?"

The girls had agreed vehemently and rushed to their room to change into their pajamas while you got a movie set up to play.

After the movie ended, both girls were nodding off against your sides, fighting the urge to fall asleep completely.

"Alright, come on guys. Bedtime." You said, picking them up and carrying them into their room.

Turning on the light you smiled at their nursery. The walls on either side matched each girl perfectly, even though you'd only spent a few hours with them. Tilly's wall was spattered in bright rainbow colors, wild and fun, while Penny's wall was a soft pink, tiny dots of white sprinkled like stars.

Helping them into their beds you tucked them in, walking to the door and starting to dim the lights before you heard a soft request for a bedtime song.

"A bedtime song?"

"Daddy sings." Tilly explained.

"Alright, lets see." you though before starting to quietly sing 'You Are My Sunshine', and by the time you were done both girls eyes were shut in a deep slumber.

Turning to the door to leave you jumped when you noticed Ted standing in the doorway.

"Shit- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"That's alright." You softly laughed, exiting the room.

"You have a wonderful voice." Ted said, walking you to the door.

"Oh. Thank you. How was dinner?"

"It was nice. It was better knowing the girls were home with someone who would take such good care of them."

"Good."

Ted handed you a folded wad of cash.

"Oh, Mr. Nivison, this is too much, I couldn't-" You started, counting out the stack of twenty dollar bills.

"Nonsense. If it makes you feel better you can consider it a retainer."

"Retainer?"

"Yes. The house looks wonderful, and I can tell you're good with kids, and I bet the girls got along great with you. If you'd like, we be happy if you'd be our new babysitter."

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love to."

Ted smiled.

"That's great. Now, it's late and I'm sure you need to get home, so I'll let you go." He said, opening the door.

"Good night." you said, starting down the porch steps.

"Oh, and Y/N,"

You paused, turning back to face him.

Ted looked into the house behind him before looking back at you. "Call me Ted."

[scalding-homestuck-confessions]

Serving Your Feral Fandom Thoughts Hot And Toasty

If you've got a take on Homestuck, the characters, the story, its fandom, its auxiliary content, creative team drama, or any fanventures, pop on into the inbox. I'll take almost anything, positive or negative, neutral or passionate.

NAVI

is a work in progress, please check back later when we have enough posts or reblogs to warrant a taglist.

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:o) for honk posts

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flashing gif

Because this is going to be the Fruitiest Rumpus Asshole Factory I've ever seen in fandom, I have to lay down some ground rules. Rules are expected to change if new things come to pass.

This is not a safe-space blog. If you want a safe and cozy blog, I'm sorry. The most I'll do is tag content warnings, because sensitive content can actually really hurt people right in the trauma.

If you have a lot of trouble writing in English, please send your question in your own language. I'll figure out how to translate it.

If you believe you sent an ask that got a bit heated or breaks a rule in hindsight, but still want to get your point across, you can send a reworked version.

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If sending me asks is starting to veer into conversation territory, please take it to DMs instead. They should be open.

There was a rule about no Junecourse here, but you can't fight the Junecourse. It keeps happening. So I'm officially going to loosen the leash a bit. Just try to be civil about it. If you're a June fan, please don't be the worst kind of June fan and force your headcanon down other people's throats. You know who you are.

I am a firm believer that John is the canon version of J. Egbert. I also believe that June can be a very good bend to a given story IF handled tactfully. So are we clear? I. Like. Both of them. I just have different ideas of where their canonicity should lie. That being said, this will have no bearing on which J Egbert asks I post.

Vriska did a lot of things wrong. The sooner you can accept this, the sooner you'll be able to enjoy the original 5 acts.

My personal scalding take is that all characters are bisexual or bicurious. Yes, even Dirk. Even the Sassacre Sons (Dads Egbert & Crocker)

Scalding takes may come from anywhere on the site. This may, naturally, include me reblogging from or interacting with davekat-sucks. This post is your only warning to decide if you want to block the blog or not.

Bickering in the inbox is free game.

If you don't think you can handle your opinions being thrashed in public, don't submit, not even in anon.

This blog is not going to be civil due to its nature, but there are limits. Don't be a shit person and you won't have any trouble from me.

Everyone in Homestuck did something wrong. It's all problematic. All the way down. Homestuck was the edgelord millennial centerpiece.

We don't just take hot takes. We also take cute headcanons, confessions, exhausted ramblings, and 3am drunkposts. Gotta have SOME positivity here.

[moon-bun-bun]

Do you have any.advice how to draw bodies and poses best way possible

I apologize if my explanations and stuff make 0 sense I've never been good at explaining things 💀 this is gonna be rlly rambly I'm so sorry 🙏🙏

But!! For drawings bodies I break down certain chunks to shapes to build it :) I use the same shapes for like every body which can lead to very stagnant variety so beware of that, but in general this is how I build it out:

A good thing to remember is bodies are squishy, so I love putting in folds and such on exposed skin :3 a lot of how I learned to draw bodies is from a lot of general tutorial posts scattered around online, when I was younger I found a lot of YCH's and pose bases super helpful to see how some artists drew bodies in more poses than just standing there! The cross I do on their chests rlly only serves the purpose of helping me personally figure out which way its facing.

If you need to know how to draw woman's chests, I just kinda draw this M shape on the bottom half of the chest 90% of the time bc I'm putting clothes over it so it just helps me be able to know where the folds go and where to shade it if needed :) it's not SUOER present in my older sketches, it's a more recent thing I started doing but it is helpful.

As for posing, pintrest is my absolute best friend for references. I will always suggest making a board tk save references for just abt anything you could ever want for references :3 This is the reference board I use the most , I kinda just throw a bunch of things into it. Unfortunately my bodies folder in there is NOT very full at all, but I got lots of poses and sorts to help with other things.

What I do if I struggle a bit with a pose is trace out the shapes if I'm using a reference to break it down a bit. (My tablet's broken atm so this visual is gonna be a little janky but it'll get the point across)

I don't use this initial step as my sketch, but breaking it down like this helps me see how everything works out and what I want to move and resize to have fit whoever I'm drawing!

Another thing is I'm lazy, so usually I do these base shapes in my pose I want, get the sizing and proportions around where I want it and go right into clothes. I used ti sketch out the body entirely then start clothes over it but my sketches got super cluttered super fast so I just kinda start putting clothes on and hope it looks like how they'd lay over it 😭😭

This is gonna be rich coming after this big old wall of text, but my biggest thing is just don't overthink it. I'm very loose with how I draw bodies and poses, personally if I'm Wy too worried abt it looking "realistic" I'll soend hours and hours on a sketch and it'll get overworked. If a certain pose is too frustrating or confusing, take a break! Come back to it later with a clearer mind and try again :) move arms and legs and stuff into unnatural positions if it looks better composition wise, as long as it's not WILDLY out of place no one's gonna notice.

For good measure here's some older traditional sketches that aren't finished or have varying levels of my building blocks in them, a lot of your bodies will become muscle memory over time as you get more comfortable with it through practice, hence why some of these may look like they're missing chunks of the sketch:

These also two are a little more OK the finished portion of a sketch, but the general shapes I use are in there even if they're a bit harder to see. The other three are more in that early stage, but are missing portions of their building blocks from that "I'm just winging it" type stuff :3

I hope this was MILDLY helpful 😭 in my head it makes sense but I have no idea if any of this makes sense to anyone else

[itsnothingofinterest]

Bowser vs Eggman Animation Project I'm doing.

Don't know how many of my existing followers this applies to; but statistically, many of you on this site as a whole have probably watched the recent Death Battle episode where Bowser fought Eggman; and I'm sure many of you who did see it found it to be the hypest thing ever. It's a fairly common consensus among the internet, what with the great animation & fire music given to an epic battle.

And me? Well I was inspired. I wanted to do my own version of the epic clash between these 2 legendary villains & their vast armies.

So I've been leaning Studio Film Maker to try and do just that.

Thanks to Steam Workshop apparently being filled with Sonic & Mario fans; I've already got a lot of guys and objects I wanted to include in the fight; Metal (in every relevant form), Fury Bowser, Bowser Jr., the Kings Boo & Bob-omb, Sage, Infinite, the Hard-Boiled Heavies, Bowser's ships, a good Star Rod, the Koopallings, so many cool Eggman mechs, all the relevant magic rocks Eggman's used, and more. Once I'm confident enough to get Gmod & learn how to mess with files, I'll be able to get a bunch more cool Mario things too.

It'll...probably be pretty rough in the end. First project & all. It's ambitious enough in so many respects for a beginner's project that I'm already prepared to cut certain corners in other respects. (Expect some pretty slideshow-y "animation". If you've ever seen Sonic; Search for the Lost; Imagine that but without voice acting. (If you haven't; check it out if you're a Sonic fan.)) I'm hoping this'll just end up being a "rough draft" with a more polished version way, waaaaay down the line. But even that's a pipe dream on top of the pipe dream I'm already telling you about.

Even still; my experience can so far be measured in days & I only just learned to adjust sizes, so there's clearly a lot I need to learn still to get even the barebones final result I want. I'll even be dipping my toes into some pretty advanced stuff to make up for what's not in the Steam workshop, such as:

Make recolored skins for Eggman & Bowser to turn them into Nightmare Eggman, Dreamy Bowser, & Super Eggman.

Add "Bones" to some models found elsewhere online to get things like Wonder Bowser Jr or the Lost World Eggrobo. (I've read it's a hard process.)

Possibly make my own textures for a thing near the end.

Make at least one asset by merging two other assets; because Bowser's gotta get creative with the Wonder Flower, right?

Make at least one asset from scratch (albeit, it shouldn't be the hardest thing to make from scratch when it's as theoretically low poly as this:)

In short: I also need to learn a good bit of Blender.

But yeah; lot's to do. Still, making progress already. I even made this cool poster in the application; which may or may not end up being an asset/used in a visual gag in the final animation (depending on how good I get at image editing too):

So yeah. Wish me luck.

[ratinacoat]

Sorry for this (maybe?) weird ask but. Google is not helping.

I broke some dissociation, so it’s not long (less than 3 or so hours now, averaging around 10-20 minutes). But now it’s just. Random.

I used tk be able to ‘sense’ when I was gonna float, but now it’s like I blink and the shadows are different.

Any advice? No pressure to answer, eventually I will figure it out I’m sure. It’s just bothering me.

I'm sorry to get to this so late, if you've been seeing my recent posts you'll know why. I wasn't ignoring this, just unable to respond for a bit.

This is something I can't help you fix but it's somethings I can give tips on because I understand the struggle.

Identifying triggers

This is tough but can help a lot. Try to see if you can pick up on things that have been going around when the dissociation starts. Personally, I have used a journal to log everything that happened or is happening in the moment for a while, and as I continue to write in it I look everything over and see if there are any consistencies.

Here's an example: (This is a trigger I can list because it's only an irl thing, do not list your triggers online.)

In my journal from a couple years ago I would write in it when dissociated. I wrote down where I was, people I was around, things I could see, what had been happening, etc. Over time there was a very clear consistency in each entry. I was always in a place with my dad or something that reminded me of him. Think a smell, an object, a place I associated with him. This helped me to know which things I needed to avoid or when I needed to prepare myself to be in that situation.

If there's been a change in environment or schedule it's possible that there could be something in said change that is causing you to dissociate more than before. This is a common reason I notice in people an myself. Identifying the reason you're dissociating so much is a great way to help it.

Grounding techniques

Which grounding techniques work vary from person to person. There are a lot of different things you can do and you should look into them and try different things. I'm going to name ones that seem to help a lot of people I know and me personally. Grounding helps you reconnect with your surroundings, emotions, and yourself as dissociation is the disconnect from all of that.

Engaging with your surroundings is a good way to help with this. Some people use the 5, 4, 3, 2 ,1 method. Point out 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This is good for the anxiety you may be feeling as well even if it doesn't fix dissociation. I also like to touch things around me. I'll run my hands under water, touch whatever items I'm near (table, wall, grass, etc), or I'll use a sensory toy (definitely recommend carrying these around) and focus on the texture of that. It helps to realize that you're here in the moment, your surroundings are real, and feel more present/alive.

Sometimes dissociation can make details about things hard to remember. Try reminding yourself who you are, what day/year/month it is, what the weather is, who you're with, etc. This is another good way to ease the anxiety and be more present in the moment.

There are other grounding techniques but the premise of most is to help reconnect yourself with your surroundings. Finding different ways to do this can help lessen or stop dissociation before it gets to a severe point. If you have friends wo experience dissociation I'd recommend asking them for their personal techniques as well. If you have a therapist they will absolutely be able to help you find what works best for you too and you should definitely bring this up with them.

I hope things turn around for you anon. You're not alone in this and there will be something out there that helps you, even if it's not in this post. <3

[restesdelune]

*A Richonne Content Rant*

> Comin' Soon on Restes de Lune ?

Hi TWD fam, Richonners, gals, guys and theys

I've been editing like crazy but the youtube algorithm won't let me post my 20min edit of HRWB #3 - Next World Lovin' (A day in the life of Rick Grimes) without butchering my work. Looks like I won't be able to finish this series with a bang like I hoped.

So here's a load of stills to give you an idea since for now, all my hours on it just went down the drain. I still want to share something though, as I know others are just like me :) Maybe I'll share snippets, bits by bits... :(

Here's the first part

Idk, looks sexy and funny to me! ^^

I still don't understand why so many channels can host whole scenes of the show online, HD scene packs and longer edits and seem unbothered (good for them!) but I can't ?

Whyyy Ô Whyyy ?

My Richonne rabbit hole originally started with an Ultimate Edit From the prison to Alexandria. It was right after watching The Ones Who Live as it was released and I needed to go back and re-experience Richonne all over again. Unfortunately, it was too long of an edit and my hardware could not keep up...

That's when I took on smaller endeavours, exploring the origins of Richonne further from behind the scenes. I love listening to Danai talking about her work. So many actors tend to respond quite superficially to questions about their characters, Danai has such a profound understanding of Michonne, it shows both on and off screen and I'm here for all of it.

Then, I've explored more behind the scenes with Andrew and Danai's chemistry, and how it showed and still shows up on screen years later, and have many of us hooked, locked in a love chokehold everytime we see Rick and Michonne gazing into each others' eyes. That's how HRWB #2 came to become Dandy On Set and Off.

Yes, I'm fluffy like that and have no shame about it :)

Anyway...

I'll still try to edit further HRWB#3 and share it with you what I can, but I need to cut back my Richonne hours and find new ways to engage with the fandom if I can't find a better solution.

My series How Richonne Was Born was supposedly a lighter prelude to the deeper and more interesting work I want to share (see The Ones Who Love Live On teaser). Might take a while though, as I work too slow for the algo, so don't hesitate to sub to check me out here, on youtube and twitter to follow the work.

And yes, I'm gonna get even fluffier with these ones, and a lot more political too. Fingers crossed!

I still plan to share everything I wrote (essays and fanfic), it will only take yet a lot more time and creativity. Maybe I should just forget video and do a podcast? Just brainstorming in the tumblr open...

If you're into any of it let me know, feedbacks and advice are welcome! I may have started this on a whim but I found people along the way, and it's always easier when we're not alone and have support, right?

My posts about

"The Last Grimes"

The Michonne effect

Mother Michonne

**** See You around and Happy Shipping ****

[haru-noir]

❁ hello! welcome to my haru rp/ask blog! ❁

❁ MUN: @lunxrspook | they/them | 18 | PST (but my hours are really inconsistent so it hardly matters)

an indie rp/ask blog centered around a somewhat headcanon-based haru okumura from persona 5!

please make sure to read my rules below prior to interacting. thank you!

all rp ❁ haru answers ❁ haru blogs

RULES

➨ ONE: No NSFW or 18+ at all. I'm not comfortable with these things, and would rather not interact with them. For these reasons, I will likely not interact with any accounts that post primarily NSFW or 18+. ➨ TWO: Please be patient with me, as this is my first time running a RP blog. I tend to be a bit slow in responding, but I will try to respond as soon as I am able. ➨ THREE: Interactions with any characters from any media are welcome! I may be more selective when it comes to media I'm unfamiliar with, but feel free to send an ask! I'll do my best! ➨ FOUR: I might not respond to an ask if it makes me uncomfortable or if I am unable to think of a proper answer. Apologies! ➨ FIVE: Please avoid god-moding, or controlling my character's actions.

OTHER INFO

➨ feel free to send asks about ships! i am a multishipper, though i lean more towards shipping makoharu (makoto x haru). just keep in mind i am not very good at writing romance or romantic gestures. ➨ that being said, please do not push headcanons or ships on me. ➨ i'm really, really bad at social cues and this is my first rp blog (;_;)/~~~ if you send me an ask/response in hopes of it being a longer rp or for me to continue responding, please let me know. my dms should be open if you want to start a rp with me or anything! ➨ i've only played persona 5 royal and persona 3 reload so far, though i know a little about persona 4 and its characters as well. ➨ a lot of my posts are queued/scheduled, so online does not necessarily indicate i'll post, and a post does not necessarily indicate i'm online. ➨ this isn't related to the blog, but if you have any fics that you made or enjoy that are for persona 5, please share them! i love reading and I'm not picky about ships/characters it's about, as long as it is fairly sfw

i may update the above at any time. i'm new to rping on tumblr, and i'm a generally anxious person, so i am likely to make mistakes. please kindly let me know if you find any that i missed. thank you for reading!

[rigelmejo]

Chinese listening experiment, mini update (a big one is coming soon when I get to 300 hours...)

There's several sites in chinese where you can watch pretty much whatever you want, pirating is just as big in chinese internet as in english one, so it's just a matter of searching for what you want to watch free. Basically there's dramacool equivalents, I posted a search terms list and that should help you out (just search the basic words in chinese: 'name of show' 'watch free' or 'watch online' 'watch episode 1').

So anyway I'm browsing and I find 民国大侦探 Checkmate. Which was a show I enjoyed on youtube for about 5 episodes before iQiyi took it off, except the first episode, and made the rest pay-only on their website. iQiyi has some free-always shows on youtube like Hikaru No Go/Qi Hun and Mysterious Lotus Casebook, and some like The Long Night with Bai Yu that go behind a paywall after episode 1. So anyway, I'm thrilled! I'm so excited to find Checkmate again!

I try to watch it. Things I notice right away: I am still reliant on chinese subtitles when watching any show lol. That's fine though, for this show I want to follow the plot more than just focus on listening practice. I can do some reading and listening practice, I tell myself optimistically. I do follow what's going on! At least most of it. Which is better than when I tried to watch Victim's Game last month and felt like I only caught 50%. I probably would catch 50% of Checkmate too, if I had not been able to look at the Chinese subs (like names were obvious thanks to the subs). I am better with crime-solving mystery stories though, so I'm in my element watching any of these type of shows, I'll generally understand their main idea.

Anyway, the big difference is I notice it is easier to watch Checkmate than it was to watch Victim's Game or Day of Becoming You around a month ago. As in less mental effort, and I can read some of the scrolling comments on the episode. I'm sure part of the less mental effort was due to chinese subtitles to glance at, but also I just genuinely think I'm understanding words I know from listening Faster than a month ago. I also tried to watch Goodbye My Princess/Dong Gong this past week, with no chinese subs so just audio, and it was significantly easier than Day of Becoming You a month ago. I figure, partly because I've seen GMP before, but it felt easy enough to listen and also scroll my phone/make tea/do things.

So I think my listening is improving through this month, even though it's not huge enough to notice a big jump in audiobooks I can understand lol. I do notice a significant improvement in ease when watching shows.

Which is a good thing, as I think seeing visuals when I hear words really helps them stick faster in memory. But I am lazy and hate watching things when I can't focus, so I've been relying on audiobooks. So being able to add shows I think will speed up my progress overall.

It feels weird... because my progress with shows, listening wise, is following the same improvement track that watching shows in years 1-2 did when I solely relied on reading chinese subtitles to understand the shows. So I feel like a mid-beginner again, the way I did at the end of year 1 learning trying to watch Word of Honor and reading the chinese subs for dear life to try and grasp the plot. That's how I felt a month ago, with listening to shows. Now it feels a bit easier.

Also, in shows, sometimes they talk so much less clear than in audiobooks - like Checkmate. Also sometimes the Checkmate dialogue does NOT match the Chinese subtitles which I find hilarious, I thought that was only a problem with English subs on English dubbed content. But nope, subs not matching is still an issue in Chinese dramas with Chinese subs. It's good for me to practice hearing how people actually speak, when they aren't teachers on youtube or audiobooks intended to be super clear.

I think I may go back to using HP audiobooks... as I would like to do 5, 6, 7 and get ALL the vocabulary improvements in listening from them I possibly can. I found another audiobook of the series made by a girl who reads everything fairly neutral, so no voices or music or sound effects, and I've been using it for 'practice' recognizing words with much less context than the original audiobooks provided. I'd like to get all the context from the professional audiobooks - that makes it very easy to grasp many words - first. Also the Twilight audiobooks are professionally made, also have multiple actors and sound effects/soundtrack, and I highly recommend them for people practicing listening. The Twilight audiobooks are on bilibili.com if you just search.

I've been doing the Narnia series audiobooks lately, and the thing is... all of the individual words I'm more likely to know, but the audiobooks have far less sound effects to hint what's going on. So I usually hear a sentence, then get frustrated I understood maybe 3/4 of the sentence but not some word or phrase. I listen to a few minutes, and I can place overall what's going on, but still notice there's several details I did not get. It's that situation where it's SO close to your level of understanding, that anything you don't understand is more frustrating. Also it has less context, since it has less words, so less context to guess the remaining unknown words/phrases from.

I do find the more 'easier' stuff I listen to, the less I tolerate harder stuff. I tried to listen to MoDu again, which I've been listening to since the beginning of this experiment. And oh boy was my brain frustrated to hear as many unknown words a minute as it did when I listen to MoDu. But listening to 'harder' stuff definitely helps me stop focusing on individual words, and just focus on the overall main idea of what I'm listening to.

My skills feel like they're going UP down UP down nonstop. Maybe continuing to watch a show will help me feel I'm making progress.

[darkpokemonspecialist]

(Pokemon IRL blog)

About Me

Hi, I go by Blakesley online. I'm a 29 year old female trainer who specializes in Dark types, and is trying to apply to become a gym leader in my local region, since a lot of our gym leaders are retiring.

Here's a makeshift trainer card I used because I don't feel comfortable posting my real trainer card with my real name on it online. I'll probably edit this with an actual picture, later.

I majored in Dark Type studies in Pokemon Academy, and raised ALMOST every dark type at least once. (Dark Types only make up 8% of currently discovered Pokemon). I also do occasional field research for professors to make a little extra dough.

Let me introduce my main team I'm applying for the gym leader position with.

Pokemon

Kain is my starter (misspelled it on the ID). No, I'm not from Alola, but my Mom grew up there, so she was able to pull some strings and get me and my sister Alolan starters as gifts once each of us were old enough to start training Pokemon. It was tough choosing between Litten and Popplio. It was funny seeing my Dad's reaction when he saw what Cain evolved into. He just thought he was gonna be a bigger cat!

Kyoshi was the hardest to get fully evolved. Like, frick, her evolution item is extremely rare to the point you can only get it in a few regions, plus she had to beat a bunch of other Bisharp while holding it. Like, holy crap. She's strong, though, and definitely worth the effort.

Mikey is a good boy. He likes belly rubs and is friendly with most other Pokemon. He did have some trouble with Camonte since both Mabosstiffs and Honchkrows are highly territorial. There's a local Meowth that gets on his nerves, but he gets along with my Mom's Alolan Meowths and Purrloin we recently adopted.

Wrath, despite no longer being an Impidimp, is still a prankster (not the ability prankster) and likes to mess with me. Being part fairy type makes him excellent for dealing with fighting type users.

Ghidorah is strong af. Enough said. She's a bit of a glutton. I kinda miss when she was a Deino, sometimes.

I technically had Camonte before becoming a trainer, I just wasn't able to formally catch him until after I started my journey. Camonte is the one I have to keep my eye on the most. Even if a Honchkrow has a trainer, they will often take control of a flock of Murkrow and essentially establish a crime syndicate. I have had to return so many Pokeballs and wallets ever since I evolved him. Still love him to death, though.

I have other Pokemon, too, including a Blissey, and Alolan Muk that might get used on my team if I qualify to run my own gym (to deal with the pesky fairies), a Crobat, and a ton of others that would take forever to list.

For anyone inquiring about the Pangoro incident, please see my official statement

Ooc stuff under cut

SFW only, though may cuss.

CW: Unreality and mafia/mob stuff, mostly based on the Prohibition Era gangsters (think Scarface (1932), Lucky Luciano, Al Capone, and The Godfather)

My oc is my self insert.

I use a fan made region called Illona that's a combination of Illinois, Arkansas, and a few other surrounding states. There is going to be a lot of Fanon and fan characters applied.

I probably won't do Fakemon, though. If I do, they'll probably just be regional forms to make things easier.

I may or may not attempt to create a Pokemon fan game with these concepts. No promises, though, since I've never made a game before.

I WILL NOT POST CHARITY LINKS YOU SUBMIT. I don't care if you claim you've been verified, I don't trust anyone. I've almost fallen for scams from people who were supposedly verified before, so I'm not going to trust some online user to tell me who's legit and who isn't. I apologize to those of you who are actually legitimate, but I can't take the risk. There are other users and websites who will gladly help you.

[manonamora-if]

July Check-In

Welp... I'm late. Also it's already the half-year mark and I don't have my usual Mid-Year recap review, so we're doing this for now, and we'll see if I can squeeze a proper MYR later this month.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I FORGOT LAST MONTH????

Celebrating my 3-year anniversary of publishing Meeting the Parents, my first IF game ever. I wanted to do something special and then... I FORGORRRRRR ; _ ; I'm buuuuumbed about it :((((

Anyway... Onto the usual index:

Recap of last month’s progress

Plan for the next month

The mega to-do-list tm that hasn't really changed.

Still long post under the break. If you want a mini version, head on over to itch.io as usual!

May Progress

Pulling out THE LIST from last month and checking the progress:

Play more games ✅

Well, that's always a check, because there's no month without a @neointeractives jam lol. Anyway, June was Neo-Twiny Jam month, so was mainly that (unfinished thread). And of course, I finished the REALLY BAD IF jam (Review Thread and Ranking). But, I didn't manage to play more than that.... :(((

Almost 700 reviewwwwssssss. Dang.

Code Chapter 6/Endings❌

I've done another round of comment with MelS, but we're still missing a branch before I can code it. But I'm not too worried about that bit, since Chapter 6 will have pretty basic coding.

Fixing an older games. ❌

Lololol, listen... I tried, but only managed 1/3rd of the Tomato game to be done.

Write the next Chapter/Scene of a WIP❌

Lololol pt2 The writing of Exquisite Cadaver stalled this month. But I picked it up again.

What else happened this month????

Wayyyy too many distractions this month. First IRL (which is good). But also... events.

This months, we had the Neo-Twiny Jam (@neo-twiny-jam) which we are wrapping up, and I've been reviewing, and also participating in. There was also the Nouvim3000 (so I don't forget how to write in French), and a bunch of smaller jams which I jammed into some entries.

So, what does it look link in terms of releases:

The Lady with the Camellias (NTJ - Infrom 7 - prototype)

L’Incombustible 3000 (Nouvim/Marmelade - Twine -FR)

machina caerulea (4 jams - Twine)

Bon Dieu ! Et une lessive aussi ? (NTJ - Moiki - FR)

I've been looking back at previous releases of mine, feeling a bit nostalgic. Thinking of writing some stuff (post-mortem) about them. I don't know...

So... I didn't stick TO THE PLAN AT ALL. Which is a big bummer... because the stuff I wanted to do in July will need to get postponed again. I'm not happy with myself about that. Even if I think I made some killer tiny games this month and played some hella dope stuff... But, it's done. I can't change the past... So I'll try to do better in July instead.

Also, I did have some great relaxing days where I essentially napped or walked outside all day, and just... not being online. That was v nice!

The PLANtm for July

Obviously first is to wrap up the NTJ properly (admin), and start off the SingleChoice Jam and the SeedComp! again. The Anti-Romance Jam is ending soon as well, and the IFComp has just started. So, you'll probably see me on the IntFiction Forum more this month for all of that. And the next two weeks I still have some IRL obligations.

BUT, here's THE plan for the month:

Play more games: Which will be done v easily: 30+ NTJ entries left to review, the Anti-Romance Jam, Love/Violence Jam, the Nouvim, and the ParserComp also just ended. So that's a bunch!

Code Chapter 6/Endings: I don't think we'll be able to code that last chapter, because MelS's July is packed, but if we can manage another round of edits, it would be great!

Fixing an older games. I'm 1/3rd to 1/2 done with Tomato Tomato. I'm trying to finish fixing it for the FIX IT JAM. And if I can manage some proper progress for Exquisite Cadaver, I'll be ECSTATIC!

Write the next Chapter/Scene of a WIP. And if I could manage to write one more game round for EC, I'm buying myself some cake!

I may or may not have sent an intent for the IntroComp... So I might send something. Puzzly probably.

Progress... I can do that... I think... I hope... We'll see/

~

The 2024 To-Do List:

LOLOLOL June just decided to avoid all this.

The hopefully maybe easy to handle To-Do:

fix the bugs in EDOC (FR waiting for Adventuron)

fix the bugs of TRNT + find a way to add the missing pieces

fixing the interface of LPM and the popups + check animal interactions

figure out the One-Button JavaScrip/jQuery issue...

edit the loading screens of the completed tiny games to include the program/format logo at least.

The 'Need a Bunch of Content to update but it's planned!' To-Do:

Update my website (bunch new title - also I don't think the logo clicky thing work...) + redo my itch page (un-stricking cause I need to update it)

Finish TTATEH (MelS dependent)

Finish Exquisite Cadaver (half-way mark by this summer - manif)

Finish P-Rix - Space Trucker (main path at least)

Update CRWL (it's been almost two years... I'm ashamed)

The Unlikely But it Would be Dope To-Do

Finish The Dinner as it was planned (and translate)

Finish In the Blink of an Eye as it was planned (and retranslate)

Finish The Rye in the Dark City

Fixing TTTT (at least fixing, maybe try adding some storylets)

And finally The 'It's impossible, but one can wish' TO-DO:

Remaster SPS IH (if I managed to start this after completing the rest... I'm going to eat a whole sheet cake).

Start the IFComp project (I think ST 2025)

[melodygatesauthor]

Weekly Update - 07/09/2023

There's a LOT to cover this week but it's all REALLY important so please read <3 (below the cut) ~

Announcements

~ Cruise ~

I'm going on a cruise from 07/15/2023-07/23/2023! I really shouldn't have, but my family peer pressured me into it and now I can't get my money back if I back out so I'm going anyway lol.

I paid extra to have WiFi in my cabin, however I don't know how good it will be. I refuse to pay the ridiculous amount of money to use the data on my phone out there. That being said, my online time will be limited.

If for any reason I cannot access my internet or have issues getting on Tumblr @whatthefishh will give you all an update letting you know. (She hasn't confirmed this with me yet but I assume she will lol)

I'm going to be trying to get some works written ahead of time and scheduled to post while I'm away so it will be like I never left! (except I won't be able to respond much).

~ Masterlist ~

My masterlist is ALMOST complete. Once I'm done with it this time I will NOT be changing it again (unless my aesthetic changes but that will only be a cosmetic update). I'm happy with the way it's organized right now and I don't think it can get any better than it is personally lol. (I'm very proud of it please praise me)

~ FAQs ~

I'm working on an FAQs list to hopefully mitigate some of the repeat questions I get, or so I can just link them instead of having to respond to each individual question.

~ Thank You ~

The biggest thank you possible to those who sent in tips this week. I can't thank you enough. I added the tip thing without the expectation that people would actually use it so to have so many of you this week blew my mind. I love you, and I appreciate you more than you can know.

Disclaimer - I never know which way the winds of inspiration will blow. Timeframes aren't a promise/guarantee, they're a goal.

Fic Updates Legend:

Blue - should be posted this week

Pink - In progress actively (working on but will not be posted this week)

Red - Backburner Fic (will work on later. See WIP list for status)

Long/Chaptered Fics Updates

A Bit Dodgy - This fic is currently on hiatus. The plan is for it to return 07/31/2023. Things may change and if they do I'll let you all know! Thank you for bearing with me. More detailed explanation here.

Always Yours, Never Mine - Chapter 2 is coming right up! Just a couple scenes to add and it will be good to go. I'm thinking I'll be able to churn out one chapter a week but don't hold your breath please haha, things are getting really busy, but this fic is at the front of my mind right now for sure. - New chapter this week

The Fractured Moon - currently working on These Fractured Knights (TFM Bonus Chapters) 🫣😏 - Hoping to have the next chapter out this week. This has been moved to "longfics" since it will be at over 40k words upon completion. - New chapter this week

Mini-series Updates

Feeling You Can't Fight - New chapter coming out this week.

Not a Doctor - Part 2 coming soon - not for a while though.

Worth the Risk - taking a small step back from this for now. It’s not at the top of my inspiration list so I’m moving it down the line temporarily. - will work on a later date

The Good Doctors - idea by @burnincrown - Dr. Marc Spector - It's going to be a long time in the works, and it will probably replace TFM when that one is done. In development - Work on it a different week

Requests Updates

There are 4 ficlets left for my 1k follower celebration. Finally getting them done (I'm almost at 2k now lmao but won't be doing a celebration until a different milestone).

As a reminder, once these requests are finished, my requests will be closed for good. You can see the post explaining that here. Thank you again for the support and understanding!

Moon Boys X f!Reader by @simpforbritgents

Asking for something like Feeling Flustered where the moon boys are doing guided phone sex.

Marc Spector X f!Reader by @blueflowerhat

Marc shower sex based on AI prompt.

Nathan Bateman X f!Reader by @campingwiththecharmings

This is the prompt that hit me like a Nathan-shaped mac truck! -> “if you don’t like my teasing why are you moaning”

Nathan Bateman X f!Reader by Anon

Cam girl reader x Nathan - Nathan turns to a cam girl, he's been kinda stalking her. (Excited hehe)

That's all for now guys! I love you all and thank you so much for all the support you continue to give no matter what. You're amazing <3