#I'm going to consistently blame Falling Out of Trouble for this.

[tvntheatre]

Omfg guys is that Axis 014.5 exclusive model (by Martlet) fr!?

[gffa]

I'm going through my screencaps from Inquisitor: Rise of the Red Blade and it really kills me that I can't recommend this book to more people because it's from the point of view of a character falling to the dark side, so on the surface it comes across as very Jedi critical, but as someone who constantly keeps a hawk's eye out for what the other Jedi say and do so I can put it in my citations project, let me tell you, this book drives me absolutely up the wall with how much I was handed on a silver platter for how it's structured. It's a book that's set from the point of view of a troubled young Padawan, Iskat Akaris, and everything in her thoughts is about how she does try to let go of her anger, which she finds very difficult, but she also constantly craves battle and violence and seeks to find ways to justify that. She's offered by multiple people to find avenues to help her, but she always turns away from them, because they're not exciting enough for her. She never tells anyone directly of her struggles and any time another Jedi expresses support, somehow it's never good enough, she assumes it's not real empathy (because she thinks they wouldn't agree with her feelings--she doesn't want to be an archivist, she wants to fight, she doesn't want to take a regular position with the children in the creche--despite that she was really good with them and felt calmer afterwards--because she wants to be out in the galaxy fighting), and when she makes mistakes, she looks to justify why it wasn't her fault (she doesn't actually care about the civilians her actions hurt, she just cares that Adi and Yoda are telling her she has to be more careful). She's offered mentorship multiple times, by Jocasta, by Josk, Master Klefan talks to her frequently, Adi and Yoda make a point to tell her that two specific Masters are available to speak to, the Council offers her a position in the creche because they think she'd do well there--but that's not the excitement she craves, it's not the admiration for her battle skills that she wants, so she turns away from it. She's offered a position that's clearly very dear to them, it comes with multiple compliments and that they say it's meant to be beneficial to her as well (with the implication of how much it calmed her), and yet she sees it as a demotion, because it's not a mission with action and fighting. Everything that is the opposite of what a Jedi needs to seek. And it's done with such deftness to Iskat's point of view that, if you're not paying attention, it might seem like she is justified in these things. But when you look beyond her, you see how hard the Jedi are trying to help her, how many hands they hold out to her, and I want to write entire essays about this book but arrrghhhh I'm probably the only one who read this book in this specific way and who still has tolerance left for unreliable narrators who unfairly criticize the Jedi, but I can see the consistent pattern of how compassionate they are beyond it, so I feel I'd just be yelling into the void even more than I usually do, so instead I just sit with my feelings, like, I enjoyed this book through this lens, but it's a lens that scrapes a lot of people's nerves raw, so I can't blame them, but also oh man there's so much to chew on in this book and I just have to delete these caps as I make my way through my backlog. Arrrghhh.

[theelmoarchive]

Sanders Sides theory (rant). I know im mainly a mh acc here but I have thoughts i need to get out there

(just fyi this theory is Roman centric, I know most TSS people nowadays are talking ab Orange and Logan so if Roman's not interesting then continue on 🔥🔥)

(Also slight TW, talking ab the sides "ducking out" and depression themes, so yeah👍👍)

Okay so. I was scrolling through Sanders Sides theories and found that no one seems to have this theory, even though I thought the Roman angst enjoyers like me would be writing this all over the place but. Ig that means I need to talk about it.

I've had this theory for years now, since the day I first watched SVS Redux.

I think Roman is going to duck out.

I dont know if I have to explain why but. I mean, just looking at the explosive end SVS Redux had will tell you a lot.

He doesn't belive Patton when he tells him they love him. He thinks Thomas has lost all faith in him in favor of the person Roman views as the epitome of evil. He's been switching views left and right to stay on Patton's side (because Thomas prides himself on his morals), but he always ends up doing something wrong - he always ends up as an antagonist. He no longer believes that he is the one thing that being has kept him stable since "Am I Original?" - Thomas' hero. The only side he has a stable and positive relationship with is VIRGIL of all people. And tbh that could quickly be ruined too. Logan is second, though, but that's EXTREMELY fragile, as we've seen.

Roman always does something wrong and it will and has sent him over the edge. From Roman's perspective, with a very flawed view of everyone around him, he is inherently the thing that flaws Thomas.

+ Roman is really dramatic obviously, so ofc he would do this.

When you look at Virgil's reasonings for ducking out, it seems plausible after everything Roman has gone through recently, too. I mean like:

"I quit. Decided it wasn't worth it anymore"

Why would Roman keep fighting a battle he knows he will never win?

"Well, It didn’t seemed like I was wanted. You all made that pretty clear any time I showed up."

Again, from Roman's perspective, he is constantly and consistently antagonized.

"If I wanted to stand around being insulted, I would've shown up I would've shown up in person like I usually do."

[same thing]

"I actually think you were right to not want me around."

Roman fears that he is becoming the villain (as we see in SVS, SVS Redux and DWIT).

(In fact, Roman has already said something quite similar to that last one in sentiment.

In SVS Redux, Roman says this, which is pretty funny because of the dramatics and the stupidity, and does get shot down quickly, but I am begging you to listen to him.

"The blame falls to me. If you're missing that do-gooder drive... I think It's because I'm in the driver seat... And I'm an awful driver... Perhaps... Perhaps I should let Patton take the wheel.")

(2nd sidenote to the Virgil quotes, can we talk ab Thomas' acting again I just love how tired Virgil is in AA. He's so. Troubled. I love him.)

WAIT ALSO I FORGOT TO ADD THIS UNTIL I WAS AB TO POST IT-

"I've always aimed to protect you,"

THIS!! First of all his face makes me so sad BUT SECOND OF ALL yeah. Roman core idk what else to say, you get it right.

"I thought I was your hero."

So yeah.

Anyway, I think the episode where Roman does this will be centered around depression. Without Roman, Thomas is depressed. Let me explain this further.

Roman is Thomas' creativity, imagination, ego, passion, love, wills and wants, hopes and dreams, aspirations and enthusiasm.

Without any of that, what is left? A guy who can't even will himself out of bed, but can still feel the nagging voice of reason and logic telling him how unreasonable he's being. A guy who cant will himself to talk to friends, family and loved ones, but can still feel sorrow for letting them down and worrying them. A guy who can't will himself to pursue creative content that he relies on for a living but can still feel anxious about letting millions of people down and never being able to create again. A guy who cant even make food for himself or brush his teeth, but still knows he NEEDS to take care of himself. A guy whose only creativity is activly trying to disturb and scare him.

So yeah thats really awesome idk.

Furthermore, I think the sides might be SEVERELY impacted.

It has been said many times over the series that the sides are purely figments of Thomas' IMAGINATION. so. Without Roman, I doubt anything would be left. Obviously, if Roman does duck out, I don’t think they'd all immediately just cease to exist because an episode still needs to occur, but I find it likely that they'd all start slowly fading or maybe even "malfunctioning", glitching, putting them on a timer to get back Roman and making it far more tense.

Is this theory weird?????? I feel like it's the natural progression TO ME but I've seen no one even getting near this and im just confused ghfhfhfh. Maybe it is kind of weird and im just too much of a Roman enthusiast. SORRY I LOVE ANNOYING WEIRDO FREAKS!!!! AND IF I WAS HIM ID DUCK OUT TOO BECAUSE NO ONE IS APPRECIATING HIM ☹️☹️☹️ EVEN THOUGH HE'S LITERALLY WHAT MAKES THOMAS DO THINGS. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Anyway.

I also think it fits really well because of Prinxiety's parallels, such as:

(using the ship name just as a duo name because that's what I usually do I am not trying to push the prinxiety agenda although I am a fan of it ghfyfgfh)

"Thanks everyone... Well, almost everyone."

And

"I mean, it's cool to see you all trying to be helpful. Well most if you, but-"

The only difference in these two is obviously that Virgil just silently ducks out, while Roman has the entire "You make us better" speech, probably effectivly saving Virgil and Thomas, because it seems like Virgil was going to insist.

(Also another sidenote that I think everyone will agree with: WE NEED A "YOU MAKE US BETTER" SPEECH BY VIRGIL FOR ROMAN that is all)

Also. Who can forget.

Virgil saying that he tried to "duck out" and then

"That's a thing you can do?"

😐

Do you understand what I'm saying. Do you. Huh.

Okay anyway.

Idk how to end this I feel like theres still more I wanna say but i forgot. In conclusion: prin up that xiety. Reminder that FWSA was real and not a fever dream. I lied this is actually prinxiety propaganda.

But Hey That's Just A Theory. A really quite depressing and sad theory. Thanks for tumbling down a hill with me 🫶

[ghostlychief]

I'm not sure if you write for Blue team, but can you do relationship headcanons for them? If not, then relationship headcanons for John-117?

another master chief request for the books, LETS GOOOOO

(i decided to write headcanons for John) enjoy!! <3

---

Dating Master Chief (John 117) Headcanons

no warnings; just fluff

---

Dating John would feel like the calm after the storm, or like a consistent gentle rainfall that can’t help but ease you, quelling your worries

Dating John is calming like rainfall in the sense that you feel a sense of respite wash over you when you’re with him; being with him is also akin to that of the calming pitter-patter noise you hear when the rain comes; it’s never to harsh, or too loud; always a consistent rhythm

You feel a blanket of security wrapping itself around you tightly, never threatening to let you go when dating him; it’s solid and firm, just like John

You both were a bit shy when you first got together; no surprises there though, John leans more on the quiet side, and you, well, anyone would be a little timid when first dating a Spartan (they were genetically modified humans after all)

But John quickly made sure that you felt completely and utterly safe around him; he knew what he was capable of, and the last thing he wanted to do was ever scare you; and you appreciated that about him

It’s not like you are some scared little girl, afraid of Spartans, but, you know, they were the infamous Spartans you heard about growing up, you weren’t quite sure what to expect when you first met them (surprise, surprise Blue team all turned out to be lovely people)

You appreciated John’s understanding for the time it took for you fully get to know him, and be comfortable around him

In your early stages of dating, you guys mainly kept to public outings, like restaurants, movie theaters (yes Reach has a cinema), parks (you both enjoyed going on long walks together and you tease John about how his ‘normal’ walk is your jog)

You could say that he properly ‘wine and dined’ you, well as much as one can on Reach seeing that its operation is more so military and not just another regular planet

He was a gentleman: he opened doors for you, whether that be building, apartment, or car doors; it didn’t matter, he was there to open them for you; he also would sometimes place his hand at the small of your back, which sent sparks twinkling up your spine the first few times he did that (let’s be honest, you still feel giddy even now)

He was a great listener, always ready with a question (or 10) whenever you were telling him about your day, things that happened at work, the latest book you read. He always had a follow-up, always curious to know more about you, and what you’re thinking

You also were the same in that matter, always asking him questions; who could blame you though, his job was a lot cooler than yours

You were in awe of all the different planets and solar systems he’s been to (including the Halos) and you always picked his brain about the Covenant (you’ve been fortunate enough to not cross paths with the Covenant)

When John wasn’t on a mission, you weren’t at work, or you guys weren’t going on a “formal” date, you and John could be found lounging around one of your apartments, either reading, watching TV, doing puzzles, things like that

Sometimes you guys liked to do your own thing but in the company of the other

However, one of your favorite things to do is to nap with John

He’s so large that he generates a lot of body heat, so whenever winter rolls around and there’s snowflakes in the air, you loved to cuddle up with him on the couch, completely wrapped in his embrace and fall asleep with no worries on your mind (being with John made that easy)

John is the kind of partner who is a great shoulder to cry on; his support is endless for you, and he’s always there whenever you run into a problem; he’s there to listen about what’s troubling your life, but he’s not one to be pushy about how to fix it; no, he’s there for you, and makes sure to comfort you the best he can (which usually is you asking him for a hug, which he immediately complies with)

John gives the best hugs because 1) he is taller than you, so he can easily wrap you up tight and rest his head on yours, and 2) his arms are long and muscular, which makes his hugs 10x warmer and just better overall

Something that you quickly learned about John after a couple months of dating was that he was actually funny (right, like what are the odds a Spartan of his caliber has a funny bone?)

His humor was of course dry and sarcastic, but he got a laugh out of you every time he cracked a joke

Blue team also tells you stories about John (not to his knowledge) since they have known him since they were all pre-teens; sometimes you’ll bring something up to John, and he’ll be like “Where’d you hear that from?” (he wasn’t stupid he knew); and then a couple days later you’ll hear how hard John made training for them (oops)

Nevertheless, dating John has brought a sense of security into your life that you never thought you would feel, or have; you only hope is that you provide the same for him

(spoiler, you do)

[dankmetal]

4, 21 and 23 for the oc asks for whichever oc(s) you want👀👀

HI I’M HONORED<33 Doing this 4 times per OC WIP; looooong boy /

WIP 1 | WIP 2 | WIP 3 | WIP 4

-

When Scared, Does Your OC Fight, Flee, Freeze or Fawn? Short Answer:

Fight: Margot, Eric, Norman, Ira, Amelia**, Reyes***

Flight: Layla, Elias***

Freeze: Elzie, Joan*, Hive*, Andrew*

Fawn: Cecilia, Ellen*, Sophia*, Adam*

Long Answer:

*Joan, Ellen, Andrew, Sophia, and Adam all shift between Freeze & Fawn responses depending on the person & situation; the above just is what they do most.

**Earlier in their lives, The Hive & Amelia would fall into a Freeze response; as they become more confident with age/experience (and Amelia’s lycanthropy), they’re both more susceptible to Fighting.

***Elias & Reyes have opposite go-to responses (Flight & Fight, respectively) but have shifted between the two in rare situations.

-

Does Your OC Have Any Illnesses or Disorders? How Do They Handle It?

Joan & The Hive are alters of a dissociative system but neither of them know what plurality is (and DID is NOT researched well in the 1970s anyways), so as far as Joan is concerned, The Hive is some sort of alien parasite that only gained consciousness when they got to university. They're also schizophrenic & autistic anyways and have THE Most Unmedicated Depression & PTSD in town (debatable). Ellen has ADHD (no dx, no meds, probably will never get a dx), so she works herself to the point of exhaustion - not easy being the first in her family to go to college, never mind being the first woman). Cecilia is a cane user/physically disabled from chronic pain in her leg & likely has BPD (she wouldn't treat it anyways).

Andrew & Sophia are both autistic and have depression. CPTSD runs in Andrew's family like Woah (Norman via Eric, Eric via [redacted]). Norman has an alcohol use disorder (finally acknowledged in the last year) & lets be real, so does Eric (he would disagree). Margot is bipolar & has ADHD, only recently accommodated with a 504 in school. Sophia is arguably able to cope with her disorders ""best"" through consistent therapy & medication, but its no doubt still a struggle. Andrew's CPTSD is actively worsening & he pretty much ""copes"" through spite, Ignoring It, and a troubling amount of ableism ("at least i'm not like Norman ahahah") <- he smartens up. he's also 15 & very mean; Eric won't take him to a therapist because the whole family is deeply afraid of psychiatric treatment on any level (<- to them, considering it means facing the idea there's something wrong).

Everyone except Layla has PTSD or CPTSD; Elzie is the only one formally dx'd, and it's mostly due to the fact they spent almost the first decade of their life in hospitals (deaf, born premature, autistic w/ high-support needs, sees dead people); they're coping.. alright, life is better around like-minded, similar people. Amelia is autistic & has been dealing with an egregious amount of stress-induced chronic pain even before she became a werewolf. Ira is schizoaffective, biologically unable to medicate even if she could afford it, & is Not Coping Well - especially as a vampire who holds A LOT of resentment towards authority. Layla is only five but definitely has some mixed, complicated feelings over being a (reverse) werewolf, humanized & domesticated, and though no one will say it, everyone knows her feelings of Alienation will only grow.

Adam has probably had chronic pain & CPTSD since day one, good lord, and it's only getting worse. He manages to cope through dissociation & fawning because it's all he can do as a lab "rat". Elias & Reyes both have some severe depression over the world ending & they cope in opposite ways; Elias through isolation & emotional disconnection, Reyes through a lottttt of lashing out & drinking. Reyes also lost his daughter in the fallout & blames Adam in a vague, abstract way, but it always comes down to him taking the medical torture needlessly one step further.

-

What Emotion Is the Hardest for Your OC to Process? How about Express?

WHEW, GETTING THERE.

VERY difficult for Joan to process Joy, but also a sense of Envy. She’s spent much of her life quite sad & lonely; she already struggles to admit to herself she WANTS more connections, and actually expressing it aloud is almost painful. On the other hand (literally), The Hive is extremely sensitive towards others, embracing Joan’s want & constantly craving connection, yet wondering if this want is actually Selfish. Ellen haaaates thinking about herself & her own needs, everything will work out as long as others are happy — personal Pride is her weakness. Cecilia would rather die than admit (to herself) she feels a semblance of Dread & Fear about literally anything, she has to keep up easily-fallible appearances, but she’s getting older & slower & soon enough even Joan won’t need her.

Interestingly, Andrew already knows he has a tendency to be Selfish, but processes it in a self-deprecating way than productively & healthily. Loneliness is also a hell to process, but it’s much easier for him to express it without second-guessing. Sophia still struggles a lot with confidence & self-esteem, yet she shuts down the idea of still being Needy “despite all her parents have done”. Overall Doubt is a tough one for Margot, in questioning if her actions are right, if she is right, and being Doubted drives her to lash out. Norman probably hates to admit it but he’s certain deep down he likes being Combative & Vengeful; fighting back at Eric, at the world, gives him a rush; Shame is something he also struggles to admit, at his trauma, at his selfishness, at himself. Helplessness, feeling out of control, drives Eric up a wall like no other — he’ll subconsciously reflect on it & fight back against being targeted, but he won’t really process WHY it gets him so worked up; it’s more than the threat of conflict bringing him down, more personal. No one here knows how to react to Pity and unconditional Sympathy.

Regret & Remorse are difficult for Amelia — she 100% feels it & will admit it to herself, but actually unpacking it in-depth is another issue; her lycanthropy was born from traumas she lashed back out against, and feeling Regret over the people she hurt almost feels like regretting she embraced this side of her at all. For Ira, Rejection is something she’s experienced her whole life but not once has she let herself be okay with it. Elzie is not the best with handling mushy stuff, Infatuation, mostly due to inexperience but Ira is good with helping it not overwhelm them (gfs <3); open Hostility & Anger are especially difficult for Elzie to properly express. On a broad scale, Layla struggles with any expression of Sadness & Shame, both internal & external — they’re big emotions for a five year old who just wants to have fun!

Adam is absolutely terrifed of being Angry, being Bitter. He will feel it but won’t accept it because he doesn’t know how, he’s not supposed to. Elias struggles with Dread & Guilt, particularly when it comes to not know if everything he’s done will be worth it in the end; additionally, Optimism. Reyes won’t acknowledge his deep-seated Misery but will his dread surrounding Defeatism, whether expressed personally or externally, and it’s not pretty.

[constantineshots]

these were some of the tags on the post where john was commenting on if facing demons was because he being self-destructive or if he was being enraged. i say both, and very much do agree with the tags, but i'm putting what i have to say on it under the cut because it's going to be a lot. trigger warnings for abuse, mentions of death/animal deaths, depression, etc. also a bit of rambling. this also somehow turned into psychoanalyzing. oopsie.

naturally, john and i have vastly different experiences regarding life, but i think there's a connect that helps me see things through his lens a lot more clearly, especially when it comes to the psychological.

just a bit of recap on my life i guess, but i'll just say "i got abused" and we'll move on from there. i can connect, in sum.

while john has newcastle and the deaths of friends under his belt, the abuse of his father, the blame of the death of his mother ( though i can't remember if he knew about his twin or not, but i don't think he did ), the magic, the killing animals, the killing of that one man all weighing on his shoulders and then much, much more, the trauma left behind was something i could easily connect with because of the depression, the self-destruction, the instances where even he himself is debating on suicide and alludes to it consistently, while also doing things to save his own ass but also that could very easily kill him. it's conflicting.

for me, i was angry and self-destructive because i felt like the world hated me. i'm sure if there was some form of power that i thought could help make me feel more powerful and i had less of an obligation to my siblings of whom faced the same treatment, i would have taken it and ran with it, too.

but there are things you start to do. you learn to lie to keep yourself out of trouble, give the people hurting you the truths they want to hear and it's something you learn to do in every day life. you'd say something that fed into what they wanted to be the truth and get the same abuse anyway, except the arguments wouldn't be as long and you'd get out of the situation faster. it's a bit of a morbid way to look at it, but while people tell you to "fight back", it's not that easy. i think it's why i connect to john so much- he didn't necessarily fight back against his dad from what we could tell until he eventually did the spell to keep his dad sick. and people will constantly say "i'd just fight back", or "i wouldn't have let that happen to me when i was a kid" and that ends up enforced in some medias that people write.

john does a lot of running and ducking his head and getting other people wrapped up in his shit. it's a path of destruction because he doesn't realize, at first, that it's going to be as big of a shit show as he thinks. for example, with ritchie, when ritchie says "oh i can handle it no worries john it's my expertise" etc. and john trusts it- he needs something done, and someone's willing to do it. but then ritchie ends up another person hurt or dead in what he thinks is his own fault.

you get told the same thing so many times throughout your life that you eventually start to believe it. sometimes, things just fuck up. you get called killer all your life, it only takes so long before you think that, well, maybe you're the curse. maybe you're all the bad shit that everyone says you are.

i do want to note that john does have dissociative episodes, especially in the newer run of hellblazer and he straight up says that. however, as someone who's taken so many psychology classes that i probably could have gotten a degree in it had my university provided the program, that doesn't necessarily mean a disorder, but it does usually fall under ptsd, depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorders, borderline personality disorders, schizophrenia, and other disorders. most disorders fall under these categories, though.

i have c-ptsd, depression, anxiety, and probably a lot of other mental disorders not explored because of past traumas that i could probably connect to his self destructive nature, but john has also probably only seen the therapists in ravenscar that proceeded to give him electro shock therapy while everyone else who had the nerve decided to beat the fuck out of him because they thought he killed astra. so more trauma tacked on to john's little plethora of already traumatic memories.

to be technical, there is a difference between c-ptsd and ptsd. with c-ptsd, the symptoms tend to begin six months or more after the initial traumatic event. *cracks knuckles* there is also a difference in symptoms, though they aren't necessarily exclusive to one or the other. c-ptsd tends to also be a result of ongoing, repeated emotional traumas, and on top of that, holds the trauma of ptsd, and then more. to clarify, ptsd usually has symptoms of dissociative episodes, flashbacks, dreams and nightmares related to trauma, commonly taking part in self-destructive behaviors, etc. to tack onto c-ptsd's symptoms, there is the constant feeling of guilt, constant hate towards yourself, consistently believing the world is bad in general, etc. i also want to focus on the fact that c-ptsd usually stems from childhood abuse, which is why i personally think john has c-ptsd, and then it just got worse from there. but you can have both! that's possible. so. i mean. well. call it like it is, john's probably got both.

anyways, moving on! borderline personality disorder, or bpd, kind of changes somewhat person to person, but overall, i think that the symptoms can fit john, in some cases. i pulled up a list just to be a little more clear and concise, but there is "an intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection" and i would really like to point out that, most of the time, john likes to say things like "i'm not good for you" or "i walk this path alone" or. you know, things along that line. for the most part, he pushes people away before they can get close. "a pattern of unstable intense relationships" and i would like to use chas as an example, which i know people would hate, but there are quite a few moments throughout hellblazer where chas will literally tell john that he hates him or shove his face in a toilet and tell him that's where he belongs.... and john doesn't walk away, he just lets chas walk away and come back because. well. why not? he thinks he deserves it half the time. but also, most of john's relationships aren't exactly stable. half the time, his niece and sister don't want to see him, the other half are his relationships that end fairly quickly, and others are just. john being john. "...seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist at all." "impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success" the guy smokes after having of had lung cancer. what more do you want for an example. he also consistently does magic even though it's fucked over his life multiple times. again and again and again and he knows that it's fucking him over. unsafe sex can also be debated- in the newer version of hellblazer, he has an illegitimate son named noah that he didn't know existed, for example. and that's where i'll leave that. though in some cases, it can be argued as symptoms of ptsd, though it's possible he could have bpd.

this is going to be the last one, and i am not a doctor or anything but i think that it's possible he could have schizophrenia, or simply hallucinations as a result of any of the other disorders on here, which is sometimes possible but not exactly always common. based on john being an unreliable narrator, there is the suggestion that the ghosts that plague john constantly are not actually there, and that they might just be hallucinations. there are other symptoms of schizophrenia, but i've mostly covered them above. visual hallucinations also include people who are typically loved ones and friends who are no longer alive, i would like to add, but again, they could actually be ghosts, though it's somewhat possible that they're not. in the case that the ghosts are not real....

ANYWAYS. feel free to add more. i did it quick, but. there is this....

[pokemonratingblog]

My experience (& review of) Pokemon Crystal

As part of the entire gimmick of this page, I am replaying and ranking the pokemon games in order.

Due to my experience with pokemon mystery dungeon and also adversity to the other 2 choices, I went for the only reasonable option of Totodile. The naming scheme is pizza ingredients this time, so I named it "Pepperoni". I then did the Mr. Pokemon stuff and immediately caught a zubat, naming it "Sausage".

After some grinding I ended up in Violet City. Because of this, I trespassed into Bellsprout Tower. Zubat in hand, I sucked off a whole lot of bellsprout. Alas, I didn't have a big enough PP to suck them all off, so I had to go back to the pokemon center numerous times.

After successfully sucking off all of the bellsprout in the building, I decided to grind my zubat to lvl 12 (when it learns a move that isnt leech life) and challenge Falkner's gym. In the process of getting my zubat to a reasonable level, I also got my totodile to lvl 13, when it learns water gun. And let's just say… I didn't realize his ace was lvl 9. I won't blame the game for this because it was entirely my fault for not looking at the gym leader's levels. It was an easy win.

After that, I did the ruins of alph puzzle, saw some cool unown, and ended up back in violet city. I went through the cave, caught a geodude (who i named cheese), did the team fodder slowpoke quest, and entered the gym. Bugsy is really no different from a fodder trainer so I swept him with my geodude. Silver used a mix of good flinch rng and an unusually tanky lvl 14 zubat to give me some trouble so I ended up losing, but I won on the 2nd try.

Afterwards, I ended up in the ibex forest. which has lvl 5 pokemon. I'm once again starting to see why I hate gen 2 so much. I found a level 5 oddish and I'm willing to bring back the time honored tradition of having an oddish that knows cut. This time I'll actually use it though because this game probably won't be as easy as red and blue. I named it pineapple.

I reached goldenrod city. the home of whitney's infamous miltank that really isnt even that difficult. I went to route 35 to grind up my team to lvl 19/20. It was here my totodile evolved into croconaw. As for the whitney fight? As I said earlier, She was pretty easy. It's questionable how she has a reputation for being so difficult when all you need is anything that resists rollout/stomp (eg. any rock type) to win. I spent quite a bit wandering around aimlessly all confused before I realized I needed to talk to her again to get the badge because she's too busy crying about it. Amazing.

After obtaining the squirt bottle, I headed to route 26 to beat the shit out of a tree. I wanted to catch it but the geodude I have is already a rock type and I don't need two rock types.

I ended up in ecruteak city, one gym leader until the game truly opens up into the worst nonlinear experience of all time. I beat all 5 kimono girls because geodude is comically overpowered and shouldnt get magnitude as early as she does. Before fighting Morty, I decided to grind my team to around lvl 22-23. Why? because zubat evolves into golbat at that level and my zubat has bite to deal super effective damage. Though Morty's team consists of exclusively poison types and gen 2 was before the era of levitate, so i could probably sweep with geodude, I want to have a bit of fun with this gym.

I enter the burnt down tower in ecruteak and face my rival, silver, who I've affectionately named "Fuckwit". It was about the furthest you could get from a difficult fight because I have a golbat and he has a team that's very weak to golbat. The magnemite isnt an issue so long as I remember that I have a ground type. I then proceeded to fall and break both of my legs on the way down. I also met some cool dogs.

I enter morty's gym. It seems that he was taking notes from gen 1's gym leaders because he was a disgustingly easy fight. Literal clean sweep with golbat. Horrible gym leader. And to think that this guy is the 4th gym leader? that this guy is the halfway point for the Johto region? shameful.

Before leaving ecruteak, I got my surf HM and taught it to my croconaw for a powerful stab move (and the ability to reach the 5th gym leader, RNG god Chuck. After reaching olivine, I healed my pokemon, checked out the sick pokemon lighthouse (where my oddish evolved into gloom and geodude into graveler), and then once again began a voyage, setting sail to Chuck's RNG island for medicine and also the privilege of fighting a guy who spams hypnosis. I then had to go back to olivine city because the HMs are hidden in random ass spots in Johto. After that, I cleanly swept Chuck with my golbat, not taking a single hit of damage. This is because he did not have good rng. This gym sucked.

After my beautiful encounter with the divine goddess of luck, I fed the sick ampharos an unknown concoction and fought jasmine. Her ace was actually hard to beat. Certainly a hard fight, which is a pleasant surprise for a game as easy as this. I ended up losing the first try after her ace oneshot the only pokemon I had that was capable of taking care of a magnemite. Some lucky crit RNG made the 2nd try a breeze though.

I then proceeded to enter Mt. Mortar, AKA random encounter hell. In random encounter hell, my Golbat finally evolved into a Crobat, marking the first time i've ever used crobat in a pokemon game.

Afterwards, I entered Mahogany Town, home of the worst gym leader in Johto. A gym leader who's highest level pokemon is 4 levels lower than the previous gym leader's highest level pokemon. On my way to the lake of rage, I encountered Entei, who broke out of my balls and fled. Unfortunate but I probably wouldn't have used it anyways.

I then proceeded to the lake of rage with one goal in mind: kill the red gyarados :3. In fulfilling this goal, I have killed the red gyarados. I already have croconaw I don't need another physical water type with good all around stats. After meeting with lance, I went to the team fodder emporium to dispose of more lvl 16 zubats and grimers 6 badges into the game. Truly wonderful game design. This is actually where I dropped HGSS at when I first played it. Every time you pass a statue you have to fight 2-3 rocket grunts, each of which having about half a team of pokemon who are way lower level than they should be. Had it not been for god's gift of emulator speedup this game would be completely fucking unplayable. As much as I love lance this is easily the worst section of the game so far.

After going through team fodder hell, I was finally able to challenge the easiest gym in the game. My team has a poor matchup to ice though, with 3/4ths of them being weak to ice. This gym was actually decently difficult for me because of my team's poor matchup, but it still only took me 1 try. After the gym, my croconaw evolved into a feraligatr.

After this, I went to the ice cave. My goal? to catch a jynx. I want an ice type and I want a psychic type and I haven't used jynx before. Alas, it was nighttime so I got a sneasel instead. I don't mind using a sneasel, but the issue is that ice and dark are both special types. and sneasel has pitiful special attack. so I had to pass on both the jynx and sneasel. I still wanted a 5th team member, But I wasnt sure what I wanted.

It was at this point I realized I do not have the HM for fly. So I had to backtrack all the way to cianwood for the HM so I could teach it to my crobat.

I flew back to blackthorne only to realize I still need to defeat team rocket. Which is confusing because I thought I had already did that. But I had managed to completely miss wherever it was said that team rocket would be in the goldenrod radio tower. It's not the game's fault but I felt like I had to mention it.

I notice this random rocket executive has 6 pokemon. This is notable because no other trainer has had 6 pokemon yet, not even the gym leaders. However, the pokemon are all koffings, which is a shame. I was hoping for at least a semi-interesting fight.

I made my way to the underground area. This silver fight has 5 pokemon but one of them is a lvl 28 magnemite and another one is a sneasel. Thus, this silver fight was a major pushover. I like silver's character arc but there's been no story apart from it and a bunch of team fodder fights. This switch puzzle is unnecessarily complicated and confusing, and It's making this area feel more like a puzzle game than a pokemon game. Especially considering all the trainers in this area are terrible jokes.

I made my way to floor 3f of the radio tower to hopefully cap off the single most mind numbingly boring part of this game. I got swept by the last trainer because I got really shitty paralyze RNG because my crobat was paralyzed earlier so I had to do the fight again. Because I did the fight again I oneshot all 3 of his pokemon with my feraligatr's surf. Moving on.

I headed to Blackthorn to fight 3 dragonair clair because they couldnt bother giving the last gym leader anything interesting. The gym puzzle was one of the cooler ones, i'll admit. However, I literally just led crobat and did nothing but spam fly and won. She's literally the 8th gym leader. Why. Why couldnt they give her more pokemon. This game is mind numbingly boring so I was actually kinda hyped for this fight but ig not.

I did the dragon cave stuff and got a Dratini. I named it Anchovy. I'm starting to regret getting it because I know I'll have to grind it up to a usable level. fun.

I struggle to even figure out how to reach Kanto in the first place. I had to google it.

I reached victory road. My morale here is at 0. I just want to get to the elite 4 and get it over with because this shit sucks. I'll cover the rest of kanto in a seperate review because I'm not sure I can handle this slog too much longer. Or I wont at all. Depends on if I'm willing to give this game a second shot. But this review isn't over until I beat Lance so I'm looking forward to that.

I ran into silver in victory road. Unfortunately, this was seconds after a random graveler self destructed on my feraligatr. So I was basically going 3 pokemon against 6 here. I still won though because his team fucking sucks AYOOOO. No but seriously his team still has a golbat on it.

After an incredibly painstaking victory road grind to get my 5 pokemon to lvl 42-44, I was finally ready to challenge the elite four and champ. Will's 2nd xatu and exeggutor gave me some trouble, but he was easy apart from that. Koga was an incredibly easy fight, with a horrible team, mediocre typing, and a bunch of evasion-reliant movesets. Bruno was also incredibly easy, all his fighting types were fodder for my crobat and his onix is a very questionable choice. Karen was a very hard fight and lord knows that vileplume was utter hell to face. Also her strong pokemon weak pokemon quote is corny as hell.

The lance fight. I really, REALLY regret not having a 6th party member. This is a genuinely fun and interesting fight but my brain can't enjoy it because i'm too tired because of literally every fight before this one just being time wasting slop. It's 1 am and i've lost to lance an uncountable number of times.

Finally beat lance. Genuinely super great champion fight, like a beautiful cherry atop a mound of shit.

Here was my team:

POKEMON CRYSTAL MAIN GAME (no kanto excluding victory road/e4 & champ)

RATING: 6/10

PROS:

Great champion fight against lance

Solid early game

Lots of content

CONS:

Horrible region design

Horrible level scaling

Has multiple of the most boring sections I've ever had to deal with in a pokemon game

Horrible pokemon diversity

Easy as shit

Tons of content locked behind kanto postgame (such as evolution stones, pokemon like houndour, etc)

Genuinely just really fucking boring holy shit. I cant stress this enough. The hardest battle in this game is fighting sleep. I'd have died without emulator speedup.

[purityran]

@coastercrushed liked [this] for songs that make mari think of mapplethorpe, or their dynamic.

I WANT TO BE WITH YOU: I can't take it / All I want's right in front of me I can't fake this / Say what you mean, I want to be with you / I know my shit's weird and I live in the suburbs / And it's almost unnatural how lame I act around you / Give me a chance to say what I mean / Please do the same / I want to be with you / I want to be with you / I want to be with you / I want to be with you / You shut my mouth and you buckle my knees.

HUG ALL UR FRIENDS (2014): Tell me about the things that you love / The world simply needs more affection 'cause / I don't care about what people think of me / I'm fucked up as it is but we've got so much time to kill / And so many things to see / Life's too short to worry about things that we got wrong / So hug all your friends and let them know / You're not letting go / I'm not letting go / Life's too short to worry about things that we got wrong / So hug all your friends and let them know / You're not letting go / No, I won't let go

ON THE LEVEL: Man, I never had a choice / Never had a chance, never had a voice / On the level, carrying a name / Fall until my final day, now, who's there left to blame?

ON THE FLOOR: it's not the lyrics; it's the fact that she's consistently trying to convince him she's got a cool new song to show him and gonzo ... and it's always this disaster-piece. there's sOmething aboUt yOu giRL.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?: Where do we go from here? / Now that we are sitting side by side / After all, there's more to life than we can see / Will there be troubles? / I don't know / Will there be sweet things? / I hope so / Will there be time to keep on dreaming once this dream is over? / What happens when the booth goes bright? / What happens when you're out of view? / What happens when you can't hold on? / Or when I can't hold on to you? / What happens when tomorrow comes? / And there's nothing that we can do? / Just pull the curtain tight / And adjust the seat / Lean into the light and hold me / What's gonna happen? / I don't know / But whatever happens / Here we go / What's gonna happen / And where do we go / From here?

GILDED LILY: Every city's got a graveyard / A service bought and paid for / Now I'm sleeping in the backyard / Passing out as night turns into day / Haven't I given enough, given enough? / Haven't I given enough, given enough? / Haven't I given enough, given enough? / Haven't I given enough, given enough?

[zeroakun27]

Jimmy is an egotistical, delusional, and narcissistic person who wasn't capable to be a leader and a manipulative person as well. He r-word anya, literally make Curly not being able to do anything and literally the reason why Daisuke and Swansea died

Sunny is a child, he pushed Mari out of stress and fear, he suffered a lot due to the traumatic incident he had to witness plus the grief and guilty due to the consequences of his actions

Honestly, I am baffled as to how you think this two characters are the same, you probably need to seek a brain specialist and check your neurons, I'm sure God gave you a wrong patterns recognition. And hey maybe you can test your IQ in there and have some advice to get smarter.

Also, a friend of mine decided to come up with rebuttal

First of all, his murder of his sister was not an impulsive decision. The game doesn't indicate that Mari physically restrained him to stop him from running away. This means that instead of reacting like a realistic 12 yo child and running away to someplace safer - either his bedroom or the bathroom, which both were on the same floor they were having their argument on - Sunny consciously employed physical force.

Yes, but as we are both entitled to using non canon materials (the album captions are considered non-canon), I shall use mine:

This video: timestamp 0:35 Mari screams “Where do you think you’re going?”

Anyone with reasonable deductive skills can see what she means by this. The timeline was as follows:

Pre 0:35: Sunny attempts to get away. There would be no reason for him to pull his sister as he’s getting away, so there’s no contact, 0:35: Mari screams “Where do you think you’re going”, 0:37: Mari falls down the stairs.

Now in those 2 seconds, who is more likely to make first contact? The angry one or the one getting away.

Bingo.

Mari grabbed Sunny, closing the distance between them, and Sunny having a flight or fight response (normal for a human being, by the way) and shoving her off him, thus down the stairs.

Voila.

consistent pattern of being an ass.

Let me address each argument for you.

(Apparently) was aware of Aubrey's troubled situation at home, wasn't shown doing anything of note to help and/or support her

What can a ten to twelve year old do other than talk to their friend and make sure they’re okay? (Which Sunny did do a lot with Aubrey by the way, shown through the video montage of “Duet”).

Whined about having to help his friends build their treehouse

What twelve year old wouldn’t complain MENTALLY? It’s not being an ass, if he was, he would’ve outwardly said all those things. It’s just that mentally he doesn’t want to do it. But he does because he knows it's only fair to the others. That’s called respecting other people and compromising for them.

Threw a tantrum that resulted in the death of his sister because he couldn't watch cartoons for as long as he'd have liked

Once again, I am allowed to point at non canon as you have.

0:04: Sunny says “Gosh, you-”

0:05-0:014: Unintelligible

0:15: The violin crashes

Firstly, no one screams “Gosh, you-” without the other having not done anything.

Secondly: Do you really think Mari stayed silent for those 9 seconds of unintelligible noise?

Was throwing the violin down the stairs the best option? No. Do I think it was just caused because he didn’t get to watch cartoons? No. Mari obviously said something to provoke it.

Blamed Mari for the argument as if she forced him to practice even though he himself begged her to let him join her

Something tells me you don’t have younger siblings tbh. It’s very normal for kids to want something at first, but change their minds later after they realise the work that has to be put in. (E.g: Wanting to go to school when they’re younger but hating it as soon as they start) Also, you’re disregarding Sunny’s motive: He never wanted to do violin because he loved the violin. He just wanted to spend more time with Mari.

Also to address “ as if she forced him to practice “

You think a 15 year old whose parents booked a venue for their recital wouldn’t be pressured and in turn pressure their younger sibling into making it PERFECT? Just food for thought.

Chose to resolve his argument with Mari by violence even though he had the option to run away instead

Already addressed this :) 

Was relieved that he got away with accidentally killing his sister

For someone who has a brain and must scream, it sure seems otherwise. Do read what it says. “For a moment, you feel at peace. You hate yourself for feeling this way.” He was relieved, sure. But he hated himself for that. Because he didn’t want to feel relief.

Chose to lie to his friends by omission and let them believe they had somehow failed Mari due of the assumed nature of her death as a suicide, irreversibly scarring them

Chose to let Basil take the fall for blacking out Mari's photos in the photo album, which entailed Basil becoming the target of Aubrey's bullying and wore Basil's mental health down to near-psychosis by the time of the game's events*

Half of the game is just showing the consequences to Sunny doing that though. It's portrayed as a bad thing. It’s also realistic to those experiencing PTSD or shock. I don’t want to make this too long (it’s already 800 ish words) so just read it here https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-2035596

Walked out on Basil - his best friend - when the latter had a mental breakdown despite Basil begging him to stay

Considered leaving Basil to his death as a legitimate option, twice

Seems to have been content with thinking of doing nice things for Basil (e.g. watering Basil's plants in his dream world) as opposed to actually trying to support him in the real world

Walked out on Hero after seeing him crying over the piano

Again, just read up on the link I sent earlier. Specifically avoidance. It’s not morally correct but that doesn’t mean it’s in his control either.

Wasn't shown to feel any guilt or shame from having a picnic with the people he lied to near his dead sister's grave

I don’t know if you’ve played the game, but you like to bring up “Sunny and the player aren’t separate” so… Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe the reason Sunny doesn’t show any guilt in-game is because he’s discovering the truth as much as we, the player are? Just food for thought

Twisted the supportive words of the people he lied to to alleviate his own self-loathing over committing manslaughter

This is just a wrong interpretation entirely lmfao. The battle against OMORI isn’t a battle against self loathing. It’s a battle against the denial that kept him from telling the truth to begin with. Sunny doesn’t kill himself in the bad ending because he hates himself. He kills himself in the bad ending because he wants to hide the truth and knows he can’t do it for much longer. Why do you think he doesn’t end up killing himself in a majority of the hikikomori routes even though OMORI has taken over?

Told his friends the truth shortly before having to move town, thus avoiding the direct consequences of his confession and leaving Basil behind again to face them alone

Not exactly his choice as I’ve said earlier.

Is only concerned with how his friends' pain affects himself at the end of the day

Can’t say much about it (I’m a little stupid  and can’t be bothered to spend over an hour doing this) other than I wanna see an analysis of My Time next. Sure it's not made for the game, but it was chosen for a reason.

What Sunny did was the fault of an irrational mindset

What Sunny did was the fault of him being a child witnessing a traumatic incident being led by another child who witnessed the same incident and then the rest are just the effects of PTSD. A majority of the reason the incident took place the way it did can be explained by: Sunny’s in worse shock than Basil due to him having to process that he was the one who killed his sister, and Basil just wants to protect him. If anything, Basil's at fault.

”Lol I just got off the hook”

Lol I explained this already. You used the same point twice.

Sunny is forgivable because he was a child who was not in a good rational mindset and made an impulsive decision with much more dire consequences than anticipated

Jimmy is not forgivable because he was an adult who had to make several conscious decisions to do what he did and does nothing but repeat his horrible behaviour

Both games are about forgiveness but two completely different ends of that spectrum. Omori is about how forgiveness can be healing and help those recover, and mouthwashing is about how sometimes forgiveness does nothing but enable horrible people to continue their abusive behaviour

[inkyblinders]

Dancing with the Devil: Part II

Part 1

Pairing: Luca Changretta x Reader

Author’s note: This was so embarrassing to write not because of smut...but because I’m crushing hard on Adrien Brody right now. And I can’t even share this obsession with anyone because… he’s kinda niche? Someone please reassure me that I’m just going through a phase because dear God why can’t I stop watching Darjeeling Limited just to see him ahhh.

The story picks up right after the end of Part 1, so I recommend reading that first. Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated, let me know what you think!

Summary: Following your meeting with Luca Changretta, you face the Shelby family and Tommy's reaction. (2.6k words)

Warnings: Smut, angst, swearing

Tag: Let me know if you would like to be added or removed

@anythingwriter, @rrtxcmt, @shut-chan

_____________________________________________________________

You barely make it into your bedroom before he is all over you. The buttons of his crisp, tailored shirt fall like marbles. He moans when you nip the skin of his neck, right over his tattoo of the black cross, legs tangled together like a depraved waltz.

When he grinds into you, you shudder deliciously at the hardness that meets between your bare thighs.

How easy would it be for him to kill you after he fucks you, leaving your corpse twisted in the bedsheets. You know Tommy would find it when he eventually remembers that he has not seen you for days.

“Signorita, you know I come to you with the most honorable of intentions.” He murmurs, as if sensing your thoughts.

“You're not a very honorable man then.” A laugh that turns into a gasp as he trails his hand lower and strokes between your legs. No, not very honorable at all. And pretty soon all thoughts of honor are forgotten as he coaxes a moan from your throat.

His fingers are magic. The cold outline of his onyx rings scald your skin each time he crooks a finger inside you. Knowing exactly what you need, seeking your depths, swirling, rising to rub the clit, all the while exploring the flushed expanse of your body with his other hand.

Shoulder to breasts to hips and back again.

Without meaning to, you’ve let this stranger take control of your entire being. But God, do you crave this pure ecstasy.

It’s as if he wants to know precisely how much you can take before you're undone. So when you clench around his hand and feel the familiar ache he is right there, helping you ride the wave of pleasure, never breaking the rhythm of his thrusting fingers even as you curse, rake your nails down his back.

You almost cry out his name when you come. But you bite into his shoulder instead.

“Sweetheart, I’m gonna have to hear you next time.” He growls.

His words barely register as you come down from the high. Aftershocks spark like tiny flames. Now you are wearing his scent as much as he is wearing yours.

“Be inside me,” You whimper, tugging at his soft hair, urging him for more.

He rasps an empty warning, “What's my name, sweetheart?”

Of course. All this time you've never acknowledged you know of his identity. There was no use in trying to hide it now.

“Luca,” you breathe. And his eyes gleam with approval.

With a snap of his hips, he plunges into silky warmth. The fullness stretches you to your limit, head thrown back. It’s good, so good. Every withdrawal of his thrust is a blessing because you know what follows next. It’s him inside you again, wrapping you with his touch and the scent of tobacco and roses.

“Does your Tommy fuck you like this? Like the way I do?”

“He’s not mine.” You choke out, punishing Luca with a bite on the neck that elicits a chuckle rather than a yelp of pain.

He kisses you, your foreheads pressed together. “A damn shame for him.” Soon he starts to quicken his pace, going faster, more erratic, his breathing heavy upon your ears.

Yes, you urge him, come on, now.

And this is your chance. In a flash you roll on top of him, pinning down his shoulders with your hands. He tries to arch up but you stop him with a knee.

“How many men did you bring, Changretta?” You ask, making your voice rough to mask the lust, pressing your hands around his jugular.

It's a pleasure to see him like this. Shocked at your actions, maybe even scared. Naked with want but unable to do anything to relieve it. Unless he tells the truth.

“Fifteen. Why baby, am I not enough for you?” He laughs breathlessly, hands trailing goosebumps along your hips, tracing the contour of your breasts. The jib doesn't hurt you. After all, men have said worse. He tries to surge into you again, and his hot member pulses on your thighs.

“Do you swear on your honor? That you’re telling the truth?” You insist, squeezing him harder. The touch brands his skin as much as it brands yours.

In a voice full of self-mockery he says, “Yes I swear on my honor. Now let me in, clever Isabel.”

You take him in you, the sensations amplify a thousandfold. You try teasing him, going slowly in and out, but soon you are caught up in the sensation of him completely at your mercy and you ride him, faster, until you keen his name, until he too is undone.

****

Through the haze of dawn, he stumbles out of bed and gets dressed. Before he dons his hat once more, Luca leans down to whisper in your ear, as soft as sin.

“You tell Tommy Shelby he may expect a visitor in the night. I'm coming for him as the angel of death. The vendetta has begun…” He kisses your hair.

“I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”

The door clicks shut. You rise from your pillow, and a small, hard lump rolls next to your hand.

It is a signet ring of onyx and gold.

****

“So we all get a death letter from the mafia, but Izzy gets jewelry?” Ada huffs as the family filters into the betting shop. As usual, Tommy holds court at the front of the table, brooding over a glass of whiskey. You roll your eyes as Arthur and John try to cover their snort of laughter with a cough.

“If you want it, you can have it, Ada. He’s probably planning on killing me too.”

“Doubt it. You’re not a Shelby, and we’re the ones who killed his father. Well, someone did, to be precise.” She shoots a bitter look at Tommy, who doesn’t even have the decency to look ashamed.

Despite Ada’s matter-of-fact tone, the words cut to your heart. Not a Shelby.

It’s not her fault. No one knows you’ve been sleeping with Tommy, not even your dearest friend. It’s a lonely secret to keep, but at least you can look at the family square in the eye and not have to worry about the things they say behind your back. Or worse, pity you.

You can handle the violence and moral ambiguity of Tommy’s business. But to lose the love and respect of the Shelbys would break your heart.

“What was the mafia man like, Izzy?” Finn asks eagerly. It’s obvious the boy is thinking of the dashing, gun-wielding gangsters he’s seen in the pictures.

“He was a wrinkly old brute. Kind of like your arsehole brother Tommy.” A smile to take the edge off the insult. But Tommy only looks off into space. As if he hasn't paid attention to this entire conversation.

Arthur clears his throat. “Now, let’s get one thing straight. It was me who pulled the trigger on his dad, so the blame falls on me.” He pats Linda’s hand even as his voice is heavy with guilt.

“No one’s blaming you Arthur, you weren’t the brains behind the operation, no offense.” Ada says. He is about to say something when Polly cuts in.

“Stop squabbling like children. We’ve all voted for truce, despite everything Tommy’s done to us—” The words nearly having us hanged hover pointedly in the air. “—So let’s focus on the matter at hand." She fixes Tommy with a sharp look.

“What’s the news from Camden Town? Will Solomons help us?”

“No.” He says tiredly. And all of a sudden you feel sorry for teasing him. He look gaunt. There are shadows under his eyes, even more so than usual. Without you to remind him to eat, you can imagine his diet for the past few days consisted more of alcohol and cigarettes than anything substantial.

“Spent three hours on a fucking tour of his bakery and another pretending to drink his piss-poor rum. I think he was trying to get me sloshed so I’d forget what I came for.” Tommy rubs his head.

“He’s refusing to send his men to help. Said he’s not going to go after another oppressed people.”

“Did you tell him the Italians are rounding up Jews in their country as we speak?” Polly asks incredulously.

“Wouldn’t make a difference to Alfie. Besides, that���s just an excuse. He’s really just a fucking coward.”

Polly looks troubled at this, as does the rest of the family. Everyone had been counting on Alfie’s friendship with Tommy, however peculiar, to help them with the vendetta. What they hadn’t expected was his extreme sense of self-perseverance. How are they going to protect themselves now?

“Before everyone panics, I’d like to say something.” Tommy clears his throat, setting down the whisky.

“As you may all know, two nights ago our Izzy encountered Mr. Changretta in the Garrison. He bought her a drink and asked her to deliver an official beginning of the vendetta.” He chooses this time to finally look at you. You hold his gaze until he looks shiftily away.

“We can also assume that he has been scoping out Small Heath, looking for any weaknesses on our turf. Now, Izzy has something to share with you all.”

You stand up uncertainly. The last time a woman other than Polly tried to speak her mind at the table it had been Esme, who still refuses to come to the betting shop unless Tommy is not here.

“While Mr. Changretta was, er, indisposed at the Garrison, I found some items in his coat that I think could be useful.” You fish out a passport and a stack of papers from your skirt pockets.

“Good job, Izzy! Oh, I knew we could count on you more than my idiot brother.” Ada beams.

“Becoming a right little spy, eh?” John ruffles your hair good-naturedly. As everyone gathers around, Polly gives a low whistle.

“Goodness, if this is your definition of an ugly brute, I wonder who’ll really catch your fancy, darling.”

You flush. The documents were obtained shortly after Luca had fallen asleep. It was an exercise in agility, trying to extricate yourself from his tangle of limbs, especially when you wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, encased in his warmth.

To your own credit, the papers were highly useful indeed. Some were maps of Birmingham, circles drawn in places where the Shelbys are known to frequent. The Garrison. Charlie’s Yard. The Arrow House. There was also stationary from The Stanton, a hotel just outside of the city.

There had been another piece of paper in the stack, a letter. But you kept that for yourself.

“We all have Izzy to thank for bringing us this valuable information.” Tommy’s voice rises above the chatter. “I will be personally examining all the documents and think of a plan. In the meantime, everyone stay alert, stay armed, and stay together.”

“Now if no one has any further questions, I need to have a private word with her. Alone.”

*****

You twirl the onyx ring around your finger as everyone filters out. It’s much too big but you still wear it anyways. The thick band of gold is comforting in its own way. And despite what you told Ada earlier, you don’t want to give it to anyone else.

Tommy’s curt voice snaps you from your reverie.

“Was it good, then?”

A small muscle tics on the underside of his jaw. His previously blank expression is now cold. The coward in you compels you to feign ignorance.

“What do you mean, Tommy?” You ask lightly.

“Did it feel good to have that fucking wop inside you?”

You burst out laughing. “Christ, Tommy. Did you pick up that word from Alfie? You sound bloody ridiculous when you’re trying to be crass, you know.”

“Don’t fucking change the subject, Isabel.” Tommy snaps.

“Oh, so I’m Isabel, now? You only call me that when you’re trying to get me in bed. Is that what you want? A bit early in the evening if you ask me.”

“What I want for you is to tell me how it felt having that man inside you, inside---”

You blaze with anger. “My sex life is none of your business, even if you are an occasional participant. I did what you would have wanted, and now I’ve got intel on the Changrettas that could save your arse!”

“Do you know how dangerous it could have been? Fraternizing with the enemy is exactly what got us into trouble with the Changrettas!”

“And fraternizing with them again has given us an advantage. We know how many associates he’s brought with him, and where they are staying. Good God,” Your eyes widen as you see the mutinous look on Tommy’s face. “Are you jealous?”

The silence of the room presses in until it's almost palpable. Finally he rubs a hand over his eyes, looking utterly defeated.

“I have no right to.” He says, pained. “But I am, just the same.”

The admission of his feelings would have made your heart soar a few days ago, before you met a man who enchanted you in the Garrison. You only laugh bitterly.

“What makes this different from all those other times you made me seduce the men you wanted to spy on?”

He says nothing. But what else is there to say? The past is in the past, and so many hurts have been caused by the both of you, it would be impossible to untangle it all.

You soften your voice, laying a hand on Tommy's arm.

“Let me continue seeing him. He wants me, and we can use that. You know it will be help, you know it might save us all.”

A breath flutters in your chest as you wait for his decision. If Tommy allows it, you’ll do it in a heartbeat. The Shelbys are your family, whether you're one in name or not.

But if he refuses, then perhaps… Perhaps he might actually care for you, deeper than jealousy, deeper than he admits.

“Very well.” Tommy says finally, and something in your heart shatters. The corners of your mouth curve up in a wobbly smile.

“Thank you for trusting me, Tommy. I won’t let you down.”

“You would never let me down, no matter what you do. Just…Be careful, Izzy.”

He closes the distance between you and enfolds you in a hug. You enjoy this quiet warmth, as fragile as spider's silk. With a small laugh, you pull away, patting his arm before turning to the door.

You don't look back to see if he follows.

[seraphtrevs]

i'm curious to how much resentment rachel letting charlie take the fall for her behavior leads to. I can't imagine rachel being consistently gleeful with screwing her brother over like that unless they had a fight right before. maybe she tries to make up afterwards a lot. when she takes money out of spare change tin and charlie gets scolded for it cuz she didn't speak up, she later gives him part of the money as an olive branch.

I think Rachel has some impulse problems that go unnoticed since she's so bright at school (and also knows how to suck up to teachers and her dad using some slippin' charm). So sometimes she acts without thinking (steals money from the spare change jar because she NEEDS a candy bar right now!), panics when Dad loudly notices that the money is gone, and then blames her brother because she knows it will get her out of trouble. Or maybe Chuck goes straight into blaming Charlie and she doesn't correct him.

And then she does feel bad about afterward and tries to make it up to Charlie - although confessing bad behavior to her dad is something she will NEVER do, because she's daddy's little girl but she's also scared of losing her place in his affections. Chuck definitely gives the impression that his affection is earned, not unconditional. I don't think that's true - in fact, I think it would hurt Chuck to know his kids felt that way.

[cosmicmordecai]

It's pretty obviously that Senator Rayencourt (his name BTW) was advocating for a separation of church and state in Star Wars terms as well as a, very understandable mind you, system where the Jedi would be subject to external review. Why? Well, because at this time the Jedi are the most powerful known beings in the galaxy.

I think it's more of having their version of an "Establishment Clause". Separation of Church and State is a principle regarding the government showing no favoritism towards any religion and keeps them completely separate.

If Rayencourt seeks to have more oversight, by the nature of oversighting, it would have to have some level of authority over it. So he is not advocating for them to be completely separate.

Everything that Rayencourt says in his scenes is objectively correct.

Rayencourt wasn't "objective correctly" in the least bit.

The Jedi Order had sworn allegiance to both the Republic and democracy. The fact they had to debate actions, got drafted into the Clone Wars, and Palpatine could engineer their destruction by being Chancellor already shows us, as an audience, that they aren't a unchecked power. Even in the show, Vernastra is answering inquiries about their activities to the Chancellor.

Jedi in general can act as diplomats, peace-keepers, representatives of the Senate, doctors, a police force, and even generals and the last had to be put into LAW in-universe ("Jedi Military Integration Act"). It be hard to believe you'd trust a complete independent entity that can do whatever it want to do...any of that. In Episode 6, Senator Chuwant even expressed the Order has a history in transparency.

That suggest sthey're often a checked power. His claim they're a unchecked power is unfounded on account they literally are. I'm more than willing to think he just wants more oversight on them, not that they don't have any and that it isn't a literal statement.

my source backing that up is simply George Lucas' Star Wars prequel trilogy wherein he establishes that the Jedi's failings are responsible for the creation of Darth Vader and the death of democracy.

George Lucas had a very different view on that and has spoken about it plenty of times in various instances. For example, he doesn't believe the Council and Anakin's relationship in TCW is important to the overall fall to the dark side or the story behind that:

“The features are Anakin Skywalker’s story. So, when you go between Episode II and Episode III, it’s like there’s a little asterisk that says, more about The Clone Wars [in] the animated series.” But it doesn’t really have anything to do with Anakin’s story, about his fall to the dark side. In the animated series, Anakin is simply a normal person. It’s consistent with the live-action films, but in the movies, you never see Anakin as a normal person. He’s always struggling. So this gives us a chance to broaden and show that, “Anakin was a regular guy,” just like he was in Episode I.” - Starlog Magazine #370, 2008

He also has a tendency to placate the blame on Anakin's turn to Darth Vader chiefly on him:

"The thing about Anakin is, Anakin started out as a nice kid. He was kind, and sweet, and lovely, and he was then trained as a Jedi. But the Jedi can’t be selfish. They can love but they can’t love people to the point of possession. You can’t really possess somebody, because people are free. It’s possession that causes a lot of trouble, and that causes people to kill people, and causes people to be bad. Ultimately it has to do with being unwilling to give things up. The whole basis here is if you’re selfish, if you’re a Sith Lord, you’re greedy. You’re constantly trying to get something. And you’re constantly in fear of not getting it, or, when you get it, you’re in constant fear of losing it. And it’s that fear that takes you to the dark side. It’s that fear of losing what you have or want. Sometimes it’s ambition, but sometimes, like in the case of Anakin, it was fear of losing his wife. He knew she was going to die. He didn’t quite know how, so he was able to make a pact with a devil that if he could learn how to keep people from dying, he would help the Emperor. And he became a Sith Lord. Once he started saying, “Well, we could take over the galaxy, I could take over from the Emperor, I could have ultimate power,” Padmé saw right through him immediately. She said, “You’re not the person I married. You’re a greedy person.” So that’s ultimately how he fell and he went to the dark side."

Saying your source is the "Prequel Trilogy" is both too broad and I argue inaccurate because the trilogy didn't focus heavily on Anakin's relationship with Jedi leadership of sort until the 3rd movie and much of it wasn't revealed and circumstantial. The Clone Wars television show is really what's responsible because Anakin's relationship with the Council is something witnessed and focused on more in detail.

But Lucas has even addressed the idea Darth Vader came from some grand betrayal and how he doesn't believe it.

“Some of the people had a hard time with the reason that Anakin goes bad. Somebody asked whether somebody could kill Anakin's best friend, so that he really gets angry. They wanted a real betrayal, such as, ‘You tried to kill me so now I'm going to try and kill you.’ They didn't seem to understand the fact that Anakin is simply greedy. There is no revenge. The revenge of the Sith is Palpatine. It doesn't have much to do with Darth Vader; he's a pawn in the whole scheme.” - The Making of Revenge of The Sith, page 188, 2005

The Jedi's flaws are not subject to opinion after a point. They're there, in the text, by design and serve a vital purpose in the narrative framework that dictates the majority of Star Wars. Their shortcomings, arrogance and refusal to be criticized by the public they serve are all things that are instrumental in creating the events of mainline Star Wars -- Including the creation of Darth Vader and the formation of the galactic Empire

Based on his thoughts throughout the years and your interpretation of Star Wars with regards to the Jedi's creative direction, there's a great difference between that and his actual thoughts on it. The narrative framework by Lucas and text regarding this subject (the creative direction of the Jedi/Jedi Order) does not directly support your points and sometimes, it is almost the opposite.

Okay, so. The senator's speech. Here's why I'm okay with it: It fundamentally misunderstands the worldbuilding of Star Wars and the Force, in a way that's reasonable for a senator to misunderstand. To say the senator is right, you would have to say that the entire foundations of the Force are wrong, as well as it's pretty laughable to say that you shouldn't control your emotions. "Check yourself before you wreck yourself." is pretty good advice and that's literally just "control your emotions, before they control you". Because that's how the Force works, it's based on the emotions you pour into it--if you don't control your emotions, then you will run wild and out of control. To say that the Jedi seek to control their emotions, which is an impossible thing to do, fundamentally misunderstands that it's entirely possible. This is a speech coming from a member of the Senate, which has historically not always had the purest motivations, that Padme and Bail and Mon are written specifically as a contrast to the vast majority of senators who don't actually care beyond their own desires. We don't know anything about this senator specifically, but that's the weight that comes with having a character like this introduced--especially one who is trying to drag the Jedi into being more politically bogged down. Because that's the solution he's suggesting here, to weigh the Jedi down with outside oversight that doesn't actually understand who they are or what they do, who fundamentally misunderstand who they are (they're not a religion? come on, my guy, they are very clearly a religion, they have specific beliefs, practices, rites, and attitudes, to say they're not a religion is either dumb as shit or malicious bad faith lmao) and is very clearly not interested in the Jedi beyond them being a political enemy of his. He says, "But it's only a matter of time before one of you snaps." as if the Jedi haven't existed for literally 20,000 years at this point in galactic history and been aligned with the Republic since it's inception, something like 900 years ago at this point. His speech acts like a Jedi has never gone bad before or that the Jedi pretend they're above it--they very much don't. The Jedi are constantly making a point about how no one is above the dark side within them (TCW has a whole scene where the High Council say not even Yoda is beyond the dark side, and Yoda straight up agrees immediately), to say that one of them will snap and "who will be powerful enough to stop them?" is deliberately ignoring the worldbuilding. It ignores what the Jedi actually practice (it's a lifelong challenge not to give in to anger, so they're constantly on the path to turn away from it), it ignores that emotions very much are controllable, it ignores that the Jedi Order has been keeping a handle on their shit for thousands of years at this point, and it ignores that there's dark siders out there that were never trained by the Jedi, so if the Jedi aren't around to stop them, the Sith would have been wrecking the Republic's shit for the last 500 years. To be fair, they don't know that (but we the audience do, so we should know a bullshit argument when we hear one), but "who will be strong enough to stop him"? Idk, maybe the rest of the level 100 psychic space wizard monks? Pretty sure there's enough of them to stop someone who "snaps", if that happens. The senator's speech just flat out doesn't work with the established worldbuilding, in a way that really works for me, because that's kind of a huge established point throughout just about every piece of canon with the Jedi in it--people just do not understand them and hate the idea that anyone might actually be truly good because they can't imagine it for themselves. Because, as is a theme in Star Wars: "As much as people loved the Jedi, they also hated them, on some level. It is hard to look at people who have become their best selves. It reminds you that you have not."

The senator cannot fathom the idea that a group of people could become their best selves, he doesn't believe that it's possible, because he has not achieved it, and so seeing it in others unsettles him. And, yeah, that's a whole thing that happens with the Jedi in Star Wars, so this speech made a whole lot of sense to me, especially combined with, "So the answer is more bogging them down in political oversight that does not bother to or even want to understand them?" Like, yeah, I see where you're coming from, sir. And that's not even touching the idea of calling the Buddhist-inspired religion (which the Jedi explicitly are) a "cult", because anyone who unironically says that should not be trusted.

[bookwyrminspiration]

TW// Drugs n such

you asked for it smh, but I've been thinking a lot about that one scene in Neverseen in Exilliums healing tent (or whatever its called)

I had a whole rant here about what the implication of this 'serum' might mean in the lost cities but it kinda spiraled into nothing so I'm cutting it out. (main point was just the mood towards drugs, Shannon has had previous mentions of both alcohol and drunk people, so (though im not saying she should incorporate this into a middle grade book series a t a l l), Id be curious to see her take on drugs, (if they exist and how they effect people and the elven population // how is it treated? Is it looked down upon or even forbidden (why we might only see it in Exillium territories) or is it so normal and inconsequential that its just part of the norm in the lost cities?

but anyway, back to the thing I was originally thinking of - i feel like this is something rarely talked about but pls tell me I'm not the only one who has picked up on how weird Keefe's relationship with sedatives is. It's such a contrast to Sophie, where she's openly opposed to taking any type of sedative he seems to be really open to them, in fact in Unlocked every time he's knocked out by a sedative his language is pretty much always positive, like he really enjoys it. This probably just ties into something you mentioned a while back about Keefe and dealing with stuff by running away but I find it really interesting.

(Sorry if this is an uncomfortable ask to get, I know not everyone is comfortable with drug talk and I hope this Isn't overstepping a line.)

you're fine, don't worry! no lines overstepped. I appreciate you including the warning at the top, even though I'm alright talking with the subject. if there's something I'm uncomfortable with, that's not on you to know or worry about because I haven't shared any of my specific triggers, and the more anxiety-inducing ones are so specific to my personal experiences that I highly doubt they'll ever have any effect on any conversation ever. but I do genuinely appreciate your concern <33

I don't remember specifically what I asked for, but this is a topic I hadn't even realized was so fascinating, so thank you for bringing it up! That scene is kinda funny (as in weird) looking back on it, but Keefe was completely out of it and being a lot more vulnerable than he probably wanted to be due to his state of mind. I think it was intended to mirror something like anesthesia or laughing gas (note: in my brief research trying to find info about the boobrie dude I made a mental comparison between tam and sandor, so I'm just making note of it here so I don't forget), at least as far as Keefe's reaction goes. I think part of this was strategic so that we could get some information and vulnerability (although unwillingly) from Keefe and get that first glimpse of "the boy beneath all that swagger" (paraphrased from Sophie). But that's not what your ask is about so I'll move on before I get even more distracted.

wine, at the very least, exists in the lost cities. we've got fizzleberry wine, which is blamed by some for Caprise Redek's accident. Aside from that we've seen no mention of it, as this is a middle grade series about a young teen girl in a fantasy world, and in a "perfect" world there isn't a lot of talk about recreational substances. And I agree with you! this isn't to say that I think drugs and alcohol should be this huge thing in keeper or that it even needs to be address, just commenting that the attitude the general public has towards substances and intoxication is likely even more severe in the elven world, as has been the pattern with other things. We can tell from Caprise's incident that their wine functions similar if not identical to ours, as it was said to have impaired her motor control and thinking, hence how she fell off that balcony. So I think we could assume that drugs in the Lost Cities would be similar to those in the Forbidden Cities in function. Not in name though, likely named after some strange elven thing. Though if we go with the wine example, Fizzleberry is likely an exact description of what it is--the wine probably fizzes and is made from berries.

the elves highly value the mind, so I anticipate that anything that messes with it past beneficial medicinal uses prescribed by a physician are frowned upon. they think of your mental capacity and capabilities as integral to who you are, and composure as essential. drugs take that away and can impair your reasoning, hence my conclusion they're not well liked. however, I propose that this mindset is mostly those who are very proper, for example Lord Cassius. Dex was more than ready to take concentration serums of his own making--and convinced Sophie to take one (note: dex has almost killed both Sophie and Fitz. that can't be fun to know)--which directly messed with his limbic center. However, as he was raised in an apothecary and is already a little less in line with all other elvin values, I don't think him being an outlier is enough to completely through out my assumption. overall: looked down upon because it messes with the mind and the mind is crucial to elven society, and the way it impairs your thinking would make you a lesser person

and you're right! keefe's relationship with sedative is weird. we have this teenager who grew up without stable supports or a loving family having very little regard for how substances will effect his body, prioritizing the possible--not guaranteed, possible--benefits over all the risks. this is not to say drug use is inherently bad, just that the situation he's in makes me very cautious because he feels more at risk of falling into bad habits. also, your observation about tying that into him running away is very astute! i've talked a lot about him running away from his problems in more ways that physical, and I think this is an excellent example of that

he doesn't like his reality, the world he lives in when he's awake and aware and lucid. it's full of all these problems and people and he doesn't know what to do. but when he's asleep? he doesn't have to deal with any of that. he doesn't have to do anything, but he's also troubled enough and anxious enough that sleep doesn't always come easy, and he can be plagued by nightmares. but those sedatives mess with his mind and not only make him sleep faster and longer, but they can mess with your dreams and alter the reality you experience while asleep. i guess it could be a way of trying to take control of a situation he had very little control over, especially in unlocked when everyone else was trying to fix things without consulting him. with his waking world that bad, of course he's gonna like anything that takes him away from it.

it stands out especially when we switch to him as a narrator and he's praising these things and wanting to be sedated, as we've spent so long in Sophie's head and she's so against them from the trauma she experienced in the first book. that could mean his attitude them is more jarring just because we're used to Sophie and it wouldn't seem as dramatic if we'd switched from say, Fitz's head. but that doesn't mean there's nothing here.

i think i've said it before, but Keefe doesn't have any healthy coping strategies right now that he consistently relies on. his deference towards avoidance and making the problem go away, even if it's just in feeling induced by drugs, is a more extreme example of how he doesn't know how to just exist without hurting.

I jumped around a bit between topics so if I missed something you wanted to talk about more in depth please feel free to send another ask! Keefe's relationship to experiencing reality is fascinating and covers things from denial and refusal to change all the way to drugs and literally altering the way his brain perceives reality. This boy is on a collision course with destruction in both body and mind.

[vasiktomis]

Pomegranate, Chapter 17: Quiet Earth, Part I.

John Seed x Female Deputy

Rating: Explicit.

Read it on Ao3 here!

Notes: Thanks all who have been keeping up with this! I'm so consistently floored by the amount of content creators we have in this fandom corner and the sheer level of workmanship that exists here. This is the first chapter of Pom that I'll be posting to tumblr, and I'm hoping to draw up a little sketch with each update. If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Big thank you to @shallow-gravy and @consumedkings as always for dealing with my stupidity and being a pair of top-notch angels, and also just like, everybody who takes time out of their day to engage with this? Y'all really sticking with ultra slow burn and I swear after some wicked angst in the next couple of chapters I'll finally be able to throw some well-deserved smut at you. WARNINGS: Forced conversion, descriptions of dissociation and derealisation, explicit language, sexual content, depictions of violence, guns, blood and gore. Canon-typical debauchery.

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“Don’t touch him!”

Mary May lunged with enough force for John to feel the wake of air sweep through him, even with how quickly she was snatched up and yanked back to her place. The soles of her tennis shoes squeaked against the floor as she was dragged to the far side of the room, unable to be trusted with providing audience to Nick’s Atonement.

A shame, really. It was nicer as a shared experience.

The Baptist rolled his jaw, off-setting some of the tension arising from the shrieks that the blonde flung at the back of his head. He righted himself, taking the tattoo gun from one of his faithful with a gracious nod, and turned his attention down to the pilot currently pinned to the floor. Without a word, he sank to his knees, straddling the man, keeping silent as he could just to listen out for any change in his demeanour. Fear. Grief. Defeat. Acceptance. A sign to prove his readiness.

Nick didn't flinch, breathing hard through his nose and watching with hateful eyes. John hovered an indicating hand over the man’s bare chest, bruised from the fight he’d put up against his capture, mentally mapping out placement. Then, he came in with the needle, beginning with the stem of an ’E’, right in the centre of Nick's sternum.

The pilot snorted, masking discomfort with indifference, turning a wince into a scoff. “Figures you don’t use stencils. I ain’t got a hope in hell of this turning out good, do I.”

That casual old Nick attitude. He missed it.

If only he’d let him do this 5 years ago. He wouldn’t have had to miss it.

John feigned offense. “Oh I’m sorry, Nick. Did you want me to do the rest in cursive? Add a feather? Infinity symbol?”

“For fuck’s sake-”

“Talk about tonal dissonance. It’s not meant to be pretty.” He grumbled. “Might’ve gotten a little more practice if you’d-”

A yell from the rear entryway pulled John’s hand away from his canvas. More squeaking. More interruption. Jerome Jeffries getting hauled into the church, held under each arm by the pair of Chosen that John had sent looking for him.

The Baptist cast a look over his shoulder at them, content with the sight of Jerome adequately beaten and bloodied. “Ahh. Pastor. Try to run and hide? It’s no wonder your flock ran astray with a shepherd so quick to leave them to the wolves.”

Jerome ignored him. No reply. No eye contact. A crime John noted to make worthy of capital punishment in the New Eden. The Pastor was set down beside Mary May, who immediately began seeing to his injuries. Murmuring bubbled between them.

“Did you reach them?” The bartender asked. Must’ve been a negative, because the next thing she did was curse.

“The Deputy was calling when they caught me.”

And if she had half the spine to come and broker an agreement for her friends, she’d be inbound.

“Could you at least gag them? I’m trying to concentrate.” John ordered no one in particular, earning another scoff from Nick. “The faster we work, the less we’ll have to get through once she arrives. The quicker we can be out of this heinous town.”

“Stay away from her, shitbag.” The pilot ground out, this time unable to save face when John retaliated, pressing the gun just a little too hard, digging down through an extra few layers of skin.

“Nick Rye, you’re a married man.” John tutted playfully, resuming his work. “That sin of yours again. Take, take, take. Didn’t think the Deputy to be your type. Wouldn’t say you’re hers, either.”

Nick looked downright disgusted at the prospect. Less concerned for the state of his wife - which meant she'd been a likely getaway. “Always been so fuckin’ jealous.”

“Come again?”

“Think folks are stupid? Think I don’t know you?”

“You don't know me, period.” John bit back, skin on the back of his neck flushing between boiling and freezing.

“Anyone else givin’ you this much trouble’d be long dead by now. That shit on the radio? Reckon you’d be talkin’ like that if your family could hear you across the river?” Nick continued, averting his gaze when John shot him a particularly poisonous look. He didn’t, however, find it necessary to respond to such a veiled accusation.

At least until -

“Everybody knows you wanna stick it to her, John-”

As if he’d been awaiting the chance, John’s free hand shot to Nick’s jaw, aching in protest when he squeezed, not stopping until he could feel the man’s molars beneath his flesh. “That’s about enough from you.” He crooned.

John had his desires, yes. He’d accepted that much. Had he not been sworn to celibacy, he might have jumped at the opportunity to respond to Cora’s advances last night. That said, she was still an outsider, and while her Atonement made the prospect less dicey, he couldn’t consciously consider laying with the woman in real life.

No matter how torturous it had become to gear his thoughts toward anything else.

He could be content with just her company, without making any further advances on her. Last night had simply been a moment of weakness, and he’d prevailed by stepping away.

“If you’ll excuse me.” John switched off the little machine once he’d completed his piece and promptly stood to beckon for replacement parts. Mary May might have gotten away with an allergic reaction last time he’d attempted this, but considering he’d be slicing it out of her within the hour, he couldn’t see any reason for her to be complaining. The bartender had been a thorn in his side from the start. While Nick and his wife had once lent John their...whatever a sinner’s closest equivalent was to friendship, Mary May had always been trouble. Wore her heart on her sleeve and trusted no one she hadn’t grown up around. Bolshie. Almost fucking killed him, once.

John busied himself with needle transfers and a pleasant expression. He could feel the woman’s eyes on him.

Did she think what Nick proclaimed? That complete and utter lie?

How fucking crass. No, he did not want to ’stick it’ to Cora. At least, as far as anyone else was concerned. He was fond of her, and - while yes, he had encountered temptation - if one disregarded the cum-stained, stolen panties in his pocket, and the conjured fantasies, and the purely incidental erection he’d maintained after the Deputy stuck her tongue down his throat last night - there was simply no evidence to suggest to anyone else that he was even remotely tempted to break the rules.

Sex was the furthest thing from his mind. It was mere coincidence that today had just so happened to fall on a morning in which he’d needed to trim.

…

If, however, she were to decide that she wanted to continue what she’d attempted last night, then surely he couldn’t be to blame if he only failed to stop her. It wasn’t technically fornication if he didn’t initiate it. Nor was it considered intercourse if -

“Brother John.”

John jumped, heart stopping, whipping his head around to the Chosen standing at the door of the church.

“What?" He asked thickly.

“The Deputy’s arrived.”

Right on cue, the crackling of gunshots drifted in alongside the Chosen’s announcement.

“Tell everyone to hold their fire.” John ordered. “We have them outnumbered tenfold. The Deputy can’t be stupid enough to create a hostage situation. Direct her here, and peacefully.”

The Chosen’s throat bobbed, swallowing back outrage, and John squinted hard at him, trying to dispel the flicker of green light in the mist outside as it settled against the man’s temple.

“John, I don’t think-”

He never got a chance to act on that incoming insubordination.

Instead, he jerked, cut off by a sickening crack as a section of his skull blew out of his head. Red mist and liquified brain matter followed, splattering against the doorframe, and the Chosen slumped lifeless onto the front step.

John wasn’t so much shaken by the killing as he was irritated by everyone else’s apparent refusal to let today go according to plan. Maybe also the pile of brains and hair now sitting on his once-pristine red carpet. He’d made this easy for the woman: kill everyone he could round up, leave her with no one to claim duty to, and get this all over and done with. Have her home by mid-afternoon. Embark on a new chapter and achieve salvation. It was that simple.

Woe to him for trusting in her common sense.

“Fuck’s sake. Wrath begets more wrath.” He muttered, smoothing a hand over his chin. He didn’t have the patience for this any longer. “Fine. Sister -”

A woman stood from the pews as soon as John made eye contact, equally as unshaken by the scene mere feet away.

“Send out word: the Deputy wants to sacrifice her friends for the sake of a fight.” John punctuated the end of his sentence with a click as he returned his focus to jamming the needles into his tattoo gun. “Give her what she wants. Take her by force.”

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The smokescreen was beginning to clear, but despite the weight it was taking off her lungs, Cora would’ve preferred it remain just a little longer. At least until they’d cleared out the town. Had they been quicker, it might have lasted longer. Covered their approach to Fall’s End. Given them more cover to sneak about unseen.

The streets, while still hazy, were visible now. It wasn’t a difficult task watching Peggie silhouettes run from building to building in search of her team. Resistance members and civilians were either in the process of being rounded up, or littered the road and pavement, dead. The Ryes, Mary May, and Pastor Jerome were yet to be seen amongst either group.

Same went for Boomer.

Aside from the barking of orders from Chosen and faithful, there was little sound. Knowing how much of a fuss her dog had put up the last time he’d been caught by the Project struck Cora’s nerves. He was his own alarm, and he would not go peacefully.

Not hearing him was an indication of the worst.

Some part of her brain argued against the idea. Vouching that John wouldn’t have hurt the creature. That was her dog. He had to be an exception to the massacre, no matter how vicious he behaved.

She had to find him, and creeping through the rear entry of the Spread Eagle was the first point of call.

Luckily enough, the back door had yet to be boarded up. Peggies who rushed past covered windows hardly stopped to peek inside the place for fear of being tainted by the presence of alcohol. Sneaking in was simple enough, too, at least once Jess had picked the lock.

“I’m going to pretend that door was open.” The Deputy murmured her equivalent to praise, passing into the building.

Grace headed straight in after her, taking a left to search for any sign of Mary May while she took a right toward the stairs.

“You pretend the Cook’s head was already gone when we found him?” Jess whispered.

“Freak accident. You all saw it.”

“First floor’s clear.” Grace announced from the serving hatch in the kitchen, clearly unhappy about it.

“Right.” Cora acknowledged, “I’ll check up top.”

The second story was as dead-quiet as the first. Furniture had been knocked over in the hallway and bedrooms had been raided. None of it indicated anything good, but she still had to know.

Cora pushed open the door to her room, and while she held no expectation of what she’d find, her heart sank anyway.

It was empty.

Boomer was gone.

Only his makeshift collar and a tattered bandana remained atop the rug he’d been snoozing on that morning.

Her dog.

John had either taken him or killed him, just like the rest. He’d do the same to the rest of her team. She should’ve taken the Baptist’s offer before the latter had even become a possibility.

“No sign?” Grace affirmed once the Deputy slipped back down to the first floor. “My guess is either they’re in hiding, or John’s giving them special treatment. If they were dead he’d be parading them.”

Sharky and Hurk exchanged a frown when Cora offered only a nod, notably more meek than usual.

“Was he in there, darlin’?” Adelaide asked, a little too gently not to invite a sting to her eyes.

Cora felt her jaw clench. It was a different breed of nausea, trying to keep her composure under the scrutiny of the rest of the team. She managed to shake her head, and Adelaide’s hand found her shoulder.

“Could still be with the others, yet.” The woman offered.

“So how do we find them?” Jess asked.

Find John Seed, of course.

“Finding them’s one thing. Getting to them might be the harder part.” Cora began. “The smokescreen’s only getting thinner and there’s Peggies everywhere. It's grasslands from here to the hills. No way we can herd everyone across a field on-foot, safely. We’ve got to make sure they stay freed, first.”

“And?” Jess huffed. “We’re gonna kill some Peggies, right?”

The blonde considered that.

“We split up. Search the buildings for anyone who hasn’t been caught yet. Round them up and plant explosives as we go. With enough chaos, maybe we can have a shot at turning the tide in the short term.”

Sharky was practically trembling. “Explosives, like, everywhere?”

“Everywhere. The more damage, the better.” Cora replied. “Adelaide, Xander, pair up. Sharky and Hurk, same with you.”

“And us on range?” Jess grinned, trading a look with Grace who maintained absolute stoicism. “I’m so into that.”

“No.”

…

“Say what?”

“No more ranged attacks. I need you and Grace to head back to the van -”

Jess was advancing on her before she’d even finished her sentence.

“You’re pulling me outta the fight? The fuck gives?” The huntress loomed over the Deputy, incredulous. Cora made an effort to stay put, but Jess’s insistence managed to outweigh her stubbornness, forcing the blonde to compromise by leaning as far back as she could without falling.

“We can’t keep running on short-term wins.” Cora insisted. “We have to put our foot down. No more small assaults. No more hoping John gets demoralised enough that he hands himself over.”

Sharky frowned. “What’re you saying?”

She met his gaze, puffing out her chest, retaking her space. “I’m saying the Henbane Bridge is unmanned right now. If we get word to the County Jail, there’s no roadblock to stop them from helping us win this. John Seed’s throwing everything he can at us. I say we try for the same. I say we end it for good. We’re gonna take back Holland Valley. Today.”

“...You really like that dog, huh.”

“That too.”

Jess looked unconvinced. “So the two of us are running errands while the rest of you are holding the fort? Fucking bullshit.”

“I told you. No more range.” Cora bit back, jabbing a thumb toward Hurk and Sharky. “You’d rather send Boshaws and Drubmans to convince Tracey to send us her best people? No offence.”

“None taken, bitch.” Adelaide grumbled.

Grace exhaled, throwing away momentary hesitation. “We’ll be fast.”

Cora traded a nod with the sniper before looking to Jess once more.

Still unconvinced.

“They have cars with guns on them, remember?”

The corner of Jess’s mouth ticked. Temptation.

Mission accomplished.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The tacky fucking carpet was the first thing she noticed, creeping along Main Street. Bliss petals had been sprinkled all over the road leading up to the church.

The carpet ended at the door. An invitation if she ever saw one. Boastful. Arrogant.

A pang of dread ached through Cora's bones, holding her in place while she drew her revolver. It could be an ambush. It probably was an ambush, but there was nothing she could feasibly do to avoid it. If the others were in there, then she couldn't wait around any longer.

She had to do this. At least hold out until Jess and Grace returned, with or without help.

She'd been running for long enough. All other options had been exhausted. At least John offered the least awful defeat.

Drawing close to the entrance, the Deputy pointedly avoided examining a dead crow that had been impaled upon the wall. She inhaled, holding the breath in her lungs, steadying her heart rate.

It was only freedom.

She opened the door, immediately training the gun out before her, following its guide into the room.

About a dozen Peggies dotted the space, leaning against walls, lining the pews - all angled at the pulpit, observing Nick on the floor. He stifled a cry while John sliced through the final remaining layers of skin binding the tattoo to his chest, peeling the word 'GREED' out of his flesh. Blood pooled on the floor around them, and the moment John had stepped away, the pilot was descended on with antiseptic and bandages.

The Deputy waited for nausea at the sight to take its course. It never did. She was all but numbed to the sight.

"Deputy, run!"

Mary May's voice cut through the silence, and the bartender lurched from her own spot on the ground. Guns raised all around the room, swinging around to aim for Cora.

”Hold!” John barked immediately, unconcerned when the Deputy shifted her aim to him. Instead, he busied himself with washing his sullied hands. “Hold your fire.”

His followers obeyed.

Cora, meanwhile, cocked the revolver in her grip. One foot edged into the room, and she glanced around for the Project’s captives before returning her gaze to John. All on the other side of the room. Pinned. Fuck.

“Hope County Sheriff’s Department.” She announced, staring the Baptist down, ignoring the grin that crept onto his face - like he found it fucking funny. “Weapons on the ground. Step away from the hostages.”

“Hostages?” John snorted. He gestured Pastor Jerome, Mary May, and Nick. “These are guests! This is their Atonement. This is your Atonement.”

“Drop the fucking weapons.”

John’s patience thinned. Quickly. “I’m not doing this with you.” He replied simply. “Not today.”

With his own look around the room, John inclined his head. An unspoken order to which everyone carrying a gun turned them on her allies.

“We both know you don’t have enough bullets for everyone. Nor do you have the time. So why don’t you put down my gun and surrender.”

“Don’t-” Mary May was cut off with the tap of steel against her temple. Warning.

John was right. She was outnumbered. There was no chance of getting any of them out with force alone.

She inhaled. Exhaled. Watched the fondness slip back onto John’s face like it had never left, and set the gun on the floor.

“That’s my girl.” John murmured. Then, he motioned. “Get her ready.”

Cora’s stomach dropped as two sets of arms coiled around hers, each pulling and pushing, prickling at her skin with unfamiliar, sickening touch. Biology told her to resist. Escape the sensation. The downward pulling.

“No, stop it.” Escaped her while she squirmed. “Get off. Stop touching me-”

“Her friends can’t be far. Find them.” The Baptist ordered, turning away toward the pulpit.

Cora’s knees hit the floor. There was no holding the repetition of protests, but even as she consciously elevated the volume of her voice, it grew quieter in her ears. Calculated attempts to jerk away and make an escape became automatic twitches.

One of John’s followers - a female - crept into view, fingers tugging at the top button on her uniform collar. John readied a tattoo gun over the woman’s shoulder, and the Deputy’s mind screamed alarm bells. Get out. Escape. Fight back. Regain control.

“I won’t hurt you, sister.”

This time, she sank, curling forward, angling herself away from the woman. Another attempt, and she wrenched away again, snarling. Then, the Peggies around her must have gotten tired of all the fuss, because the tear of cotton clawed at her ears. Ringing through her brain.

Her back felt cold all of a sudden.

Green material slipped down her arms, and at the sight of her own uniform pooling in shreds in her own lap, Cora ceased her thrashing. The shredded shirt was yanked from her belt and tossed aside, and she watched with growing resignation while John turned back around.

His gaze found hers. Then flickered downward, first to the compression bra, then a margin to the right. “Here I thought you’d be unmarked.” He commented, inspecting what was visible of the old ink on her lower ribs while he approached.

Hands pressed against Cora’s shoulders, and she drifted back until her shoulder blades hit the floor.

John continued to loom until he stood directly over her. He sank to his knees, expression softening with his descent until he was on all fours on top of her. He looked almost adoring, and she hated how it comforted her, just slightly. She hated how the hands had disappeared from her limbs, and yet she still made no further attempt to escape. He had every ounce of power now.

She didn’t know she’d started trembling until his free hand swept over her collarbones, mapping out her chest, calming the gooseflesh beading on her from the chill, or the fright, or perhaps just that this whole thing felt so humiliatingly exposing.

A blush swelled over John’s throat, maybe indicating some straying line of thought. He snapped out of it and settled to sit on her hips. “This looks familiar, doesn’t it?” He teased, hovering the tattoo gun right over the centre of her sternum.

“Dont.” Was all she could manage. Weak. Pleading. “I don’t want you to.”

“You have no idea how good you’re going to feel after this.” John cooed.

One of his fingers drifted along her jaw. An attempt at comforting her, but to no avail. He looked equal parts gentle and feral with excitement.

The machine buzzed, lowering pitch when the needles finally pressed into her flesh.

This was it.

She’d lost. There was no going back, anymore. No more normal, no more ridding herself of this family. They’d taken everything, and now they were claiming ownership over her, too.

The others were being hunted. It was only a matter of time. John was working too quickly. They’d be gone before the Cougars even crossed the river.

Cora’s nerves muted. Sound closed to just the rumble of blood in her ears. She receded into herself. Found a backseat in her mind, away from the sensory overload and the humiliation and her own failure while her body quietly continued: ”Dont, don’t, stop.”

She’d lost, and John wouldn’t stop. Not while he was branding the evidence of his victory into her flesh.

Defeat tasted worse than anticipated.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Bullets whizzed overhead while Sharky and Hurk took cover beneath the window, watching helplessly as the aisle of potato chips and bar nuts was torn to shreds by the onslaught. Dorito dust filled the shop like mustard gas.

“Cuz, I think they found us!” Hurk barked, snapping an arm over his head in defence when a stray round ricocheted off the front counter.

“What gives you that impression?” Sharky hit back, hurriedly setting down his shotgun and shrugging his backpack to the floor.

“How many are there?”

“How about you check?”

“How about you check?”

A moment of quiet occurred while the cousins glared at each other, leaving their standoff to a battle of no blinking. Then the Peggies outside must’ve finished re-loading, because the back wall of the shop was suddenly being shot into swiss cheese.

They were okay. Everything was cool. Addie and Xander had taken their share of explosives and gone the quiet route. Grace and Jess were gone. Shorty had disappeared into the church, and while he couldn't count the best, Sharky was pretty confident that John had caught her.

Could they have kept on looking for survivors and breaking out captives? Sure - but why do that when they could kill, like 40 birds with one stone and beeline for the gas station? It was conveniently across the road from the church, empty of any and all life barring the dormant tanks underground. An explosion that big was sure to fuck up like a good portion of Main Street. Not even the Chosen would be able to resist checking it out.

Disconnecting the safety switches had been easy. He’d been arrested for doing it like 5 times already. Cops, Peggies; it didn’t matter - Sharky knew what he was doing, and without the giant swinging dick of the law hanging over him, the man was on a mission. Cultists shooting at him was fine. He was used to that.

Threat of death or no, he wasn’t giving up the chance to see this place blow sky high.

“We’ll be outta here any second, Hurky.” Sharky assured. “Just gotta sprinkle a little C-4 around the place and we’ll be gone before it even goes off.”

Hurk was sweating. A lot. He was accustomed to being shot at, but normally, he had more than just Sharky to get him out of a tight spot. “Alright, bro. Gimme some. Many hands and what have you.”

“Fuck yeah. First step, toss some at the tanker outside. We wanna get the place as fiery as possible up here to wake up the big boys underground, and-”

Sharky stopped in his tracks, eyeing the backpack he’d just been in the process of unzipping.

“-uhh.”

“Uhh?”

“Hurky, can I be real with you?”

“Is now the best time for a deep and meaningful?” Hurk hissed, crawling toward him nonetheless.

The arsonist stuck his hand down the pack, rifling through fluff and mesh. “I, uh, I think I brought the wrong bag. And by think I mean know without a shadow of a doubt.”

Hurk watched as his cousin tugged the green, furry headpiece of a dragon out into the open.

“You brought-...”

“I brought my fursuit.”

“Not the C-4?”

“Not the C-4.”

“Okay, bro. That's fine. I'm not mad. Human error. Not even a little bit?”

Sharky checked again, just for good measure. “Nope...so, uhm...you got a match?”

Hurk ran a hank through his hair. “Not to poo poo your ideas, but that probably ain’t the best move.”

So just like that, they were fucked.

Jess and Grace still hadn’t come back. The others were nowhere to be seen. Shorty was holed up in that church, and he and Hurk were about to be rounded up by born-again virgins.

Shit, if that were the case -

“Well, if this is gonna be the last opportunity.” Sharky grunted, tugging the suit out and unzipping the back. “May as well enjoy our last minutes of freedom, huh?”

Hurk took the cue, creeping across the destroyed shop floor and reaching for a popped bag of pretzels. He sat back against the wall, leaning against the rocket launcher he’d propped up against the corner.

“Man.” The brunette sighed, staring at the floor. “If only we had some other kind of ranged, explosive device.”

“No shit.” Sharky agreed. “Some high velocity shit would fix this.”

They exchanged a sympathetic look once the arsonist had zipped himself up and crept over and sit beside his cousin, both leaning on either side of the RPG.

Hurk held out the bag.

“Pretzel?”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Was that so bad?” John asked, placing the tattoo gun aside and framing the Deputy’s marked chest. ’WRATH', in true black, beading with blood. The skin surrounding the text was mottled and inflamed. Excess ink covered the area in patches, gathering in the dip of her cleavage, disappearing beneath her sports bra.

All that sin, already leaking out through the exit he’d made for her.

Gorgeous.

Cora didn’t respond. That was fine. Shock was normal. She’d thank him once this was all over. For now, she just trembled, lock jawed, dissociated gaze searching what John had thought was him until he sat up. No, instead she was watching the ceiling.

John flashed a smile, blocking out a tiny streak of dread at the sight of the woman so vacant. Sweeping a lock of stained hair over her shoulder, he smoothed his fingers past her neck, attempting to gently angle her focus back to him. “Hey. You can come back now. We’re all done.”

You're finally on the other side. React to it. React to me. Look at me-

The boom came first, hollow and deep, and John felt the floor beneath him rumble. Chandeliers and decorations wobbled from the disturbance. Several of his followers shot from their seats, immediately abandoning the Resistance leaders they’d guarded in favour of pacing back and forth, trying to get a look at whatever was happening outside.

“Is this it?”

“Is it the Collapse?”

“It’s time?”

“John, is it the Collapse?”

The panic escalated quickly, forcing the Baptist to break his attention away from the empty woman below him and rein in the flock.

“Calm down.” He exclaimed, “It’s not the Collapse. It’s probably just-”

Another boom. Almost deafeningly loud.

This time, the whole church shook. Windows shattered in their creaking panes and smashed to the floor while pews squealed heavily in protest.

Contrary to his assertion, John dove down, covering the Deputy with his body. Holy shit, was it the Collapse?

The tremor must have been enough to snap Cora out of her trance, because a muffled “Get your tits out of my face.” buzzed against John’s chest.

Tragically, however, the Baptist never got the opportunity to reply to her. Had it not been for the fucking tennis shoe colliding with the side of his skull, he imagined he’d have something very clever to say. Alas, pain shot through his head and he jerked to the side, fighting against the blow to stay put. A snarl from Mary May, his apparent attacker, sounded in retaliation. She dove into him, knee driving into his ribs, throwing him off of the Deputy.

His thoughts left him for the briefest moment, overtaken by ensuing gunshots and shouts and the shrieks of the bartender as she was clawed away from him. Her hand shot forward right as she was yanked up, intended as a punch. It didn’t land, and John couldn’t help but shoot her a smirk for her failure.

“Deputy, gun!”

Nevermind. It wasn’t a punch after all. Mary May had been pointing over his shoulder at the revolver that had been surrendered on the floor. His revolver. The same one Cora was now scrambling toward.

No.

John lurched, heart leaping into his throat.

Not now. Not after he’d won. Not when they were so close.

His hand found the leg of Cora’s pants, wrenching, pulling her away from the weapon, and she kicked against him. Her finger tips slid against the barrel of the revolver, tugging it into her palm.

God wouldn’t fucking undo his victory.

John snarled, catching the Deputy’s wrist when she tried to aim - at him no less. Without her own recovery time achieved, he was able to wrestle the weapon from her easily enough, flattening her struggling body beneath his just long enough to hook an arm around her waist. He twisted around, holding the woman’s back against his belly. Her squirming ceased with the press of the muzzle against her head, and the moment her allies had taken notice of the change, everything went still.

Finally.

A little civility.

Several of John’s followers lay on the floor, either dead or close to it. Only a half-dozen remained, though the pair of Chosen had survived and placed themselves closest to their leader.

Pastor Jerome had procured a handgun from within his own bible - something that pulled a breathless laugh out of John as he surveyed the others. Nick hadn’t been able to arm himself, but he’d still tackled one of the faithful to the ground. His knuckles were bloodied. A familiar sight. Mary May had wrestled a gun of her own away from the woman who’d seized her. She aimed it shakily at John.

Armed but outnumbered, outgunned, and now, they were in check.

They never learned, did they?

“The way you people behave, you’d think salvation was a bad thing.” John tittered. “Right. Now, let’s try this again. Atonement, or damnation.” To punctuate his meaning, he tapped the muzzle against Cora’s head. She grunted in protest, and he ignored her. Of course it was a bluff. No one else knew that but him, though. It was too risky a move for the Resistance to let him do away with the one person that banded their factions.

She was their leader. They couldn’t lose her.

John looked around the room once more, locking eyes with Jerome first - then Mary May. “Are we going to behave?”

The answer was immediate and clear: a gunshot cracking through the Baptist’s ears and the flash of a blast spilling from Mary May’s weapon. Cora’s elbow driving into his stomach and the reaction time of his Chosen snapping to attention, covering him, already hauling John out of the church and onto the street.

Fuck no, he wasn't leaving without his prize.

"GRAB HER!" John howled, struggling against the attempts to get him to safety. "Leave the rest!"

It was a reluctant effort, but the Deputy was yanked along as well, shoved into Johns arms on his repeated orders, with me, with me.

“Mary May, what the fuck!” The Deputy roared over her shoulder.

“Sorry Deputy! I missed!”

Missed?

“You sure about that? Jesus fucking Christ!”

More shots sounded, but only the noise pursued them from the building. It wasn’t until John had shoved Cora into the back of the waiting truck that he realised how warm his hand had gotten. Wet, too.

“Get to the ranch!” One of the Chosen snarled up front, casting a look back at the Baptist while the vehicle took off, watching as he peeled away from the blonde to inspect himself.

Blood.

He was bleeding. But where from? Barring the sting of his scabs and that kick to the head, nothing hurt. There were no wounds hiding under his sleeves or -

A hiss sounded from the Deputy beside him, curling in on herself.

Shit.

She hadn’t elbowed him.

“Cora-” John scrambled for her. "Cora, let me see."

“Told you not to call me that.” The Deputy grit out, kicking at him until she’d well and truly jammed herself into the corner of the seat and the car door. Her left hand gripped her right forearm, just below the elbow and to no avail. Crimson coated the skin on her side, encasing her arm completely and seeping through her fingertips.

She was bleeding. Not heavily, but steadily.

”Deputy.” John bit back, advancing. “You’re hurt. Let me help-”

Just like that, the kicking resumed. “Don’t touch me-DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME-”

“For once in your fucking life, just relax!”

Only incomprehensible snarling came in response.

John rolled his jaw, brimming with as much irritation as he was adrenaline. The Resistance had made their choice. Regretful, but final. He’d gotten what he came for, and he wasn’t intending on losing her just because she was too stubborn to accept help.

He glanced at the revolver still in his grip. Then back at Cora, rotating the grip toward her. A threat. “Are you going to let me help, or am I going to have to calm you down?”

“Don’t you dare.” Her words came hoarse. She gave scowling a red hot go, but without the rationale to deny him, the Deputy lacked conviction. She exhaled. “Fuck it. We've done this enough already. You get ten minutes. Then you’re under arrest.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Her cheek twitched. A weak chuckle. The slightest flash of acknowledgement as she let him press his weight over her forearm. Thankfully, the wound wasn’t pulsing; nor was there a puncture wound. A gouged strip had been carved into her flesh where the bullet had grazed, but nothing vital seemed to have been struck.

“That - you can keep saying.”

"You're a flirt when you're in shock, Deputy." Had John not been too busy regulating about a dozen other emotions, he might have flushed at her words. For a moment, he just sat there, basking in the borderline friendliness on her face. Then, it occurred to him that they were among watchful company, and he cleared his throat, returning to his task.

Minutes passed. No more words were exchanged. Not until they’d passed the Rye and Son’s sign.

The Chosen in the front passenger’s seat looked over his shoulder, dismissing another over the radio before regarding the Baptist. “The Resistance isn’t making ground. The faithful are still rounding up stragglers, and we’ve taken casualties, but numbers are looking strong. Medic will meet you at the ranch, John. We can deliver our newest sister to the Gate while you recover.”

John inclined his head. “Much obliged. We need this one to stay with us until she’s completed her vows. She can’t be trusted unsupervised, but I won’t put the responsibility of containing her back on our people again.” He looked to Cora, then. Her face had run pale and she’d gone clammy, but she remained upright. Just...woozy. Pacified, for now.

He’d got what he came for. Fuck the rest.

“I have something to say.” The blonde announced, swaying against John’s arm. “I know why Mary May shot me.”

“This another one of your jokes?” John deadpanned.

“This one’s funny, I swear.”

“...go on, then.”

“It’s because I never tip.”

For a moment, Cora looked very satisfied with herself. Then, she retched, slumping forward into the Baptist’s lap when he instinctually jolted out of the potential line of fire. He hurried to steady her, keeping tight hold over her wound, and grimaced while the noise escaped her a second time.

Thank God nothing came out; his shoes would’ve been the first to know about it.

The Deputy didn’t sit back up.

That was fine. So long as she wasn’t dead. So long as she wasn’t fighting back.

“It’s all the sin escaping you.” John explained, off-handed, when a complaining grunt sounded below. “Evil being expelled from your body. You’ll feel better soon.”

“Pretty sure it’s my blood pressure, actually. Soon as I’m good again, you’re history.”

When one disregarded the fact that she’d had a gun trained on him earlier - and the blood drying uncomfortably on his clothes - and the persistent pounding of a headache from Mary May’s heel, this was almost pleasant. The quiet roads. The Deputy, all but atoned with her head on his thigh. Not fighting back. Conceding defeat. Peaceful.

He got what he came for.

He’d won.

He was saved.

Passing his thumb over Cora’s ribs, John’s attention was pulled back to the old ink peeking out from beneath the band of her top. Text, blurred and flattened enough to be years old, and too obscured to decipher.

“Thought I’d be your first.” The brunette murmured.

“Jealous?”

Yes.

“Don’t be ridiculous. What’s it say?”

“‘The Mountains Are Calling’.”

A sickening wave of dread passed over the Baptist. The rock forming in his throat, icy and bitter and seizing him against any reply.

The mountains are calling.

Jacob. Joseph. The Trials. Atonement wasn’t the final step. Handing her over to his brothers was the final step.

He got what he came for, but the woman in his arms wasn’t the trophy intended for him.

He was saved. He’d redeemed himself. He’d completed his task and Joseph would permit him beyond the gates. That was all he was supposed to do. That was enough.

That had to be enough.

“‘And I Must Go’.” John completed quietly.

Cora tilted her head a little, not quite looking at him - almost like she was trying not to. “You know John Muir.”

“Not enough to warrant a photo on the bedside table.”

“Shut up.”

There was nothing convincing about the chuckle he offered. He was too busy observing her, studying the side of her face. Committing her to memory as if he hadn’t spent years acquainting himself with every spot and micro-expression.

“Maybe working for you will be bearable.” She murmured, and John’s heart only sank further. "If I don't manage to arrest you."

The mountains are calling.

She still had no idea that all the promises he’d made her had been fabricated. That she wouldn’t be staying. That he’d lied to her.

The mountains were calling. In a few days time, she’d know it. She’d despise him. She’d be taken off his hands and he’d assume his regular duties once again.

He’d saved both of them.

Cora’s thumb absently grazed back and forth on his knee. Ignorant. “Can I ask something?”

It took everything in him not to mirror the action against her skin.

“Of course.”

“Can I start next Monday?”

"What happened to you being such a workaholic?"

"To be honest with you, I'm really fucking tired."

She’d be incredible. Jacob would love her. Joseph would be proud. John had accomplished something near-impossible for his family, and even if the Deputy hated him - even if she forgot him entirely, he was content with the knowledge that he’d have brought her to salvation.

Even if they never saw each other again, he’d know that she’d passed through the gates. That she’d climb to the surface once the world had been scorched clean. She’d rebuild, and marry, and have children, and he’d do the same.

Hopeful anticipation and the agony of longing had never felt so similar before.

“Fine.” John smiled, giving in, sliding his fingers up her arm and coaxing a stray lock of hair out of her face. There were no promises he’d be able to do it again after this. “But on one condition.”

“What?”

“Spend those days with me.”

Cora stirred, angling to peer up at him out of the corner of her eye. She smiled crookedly.

“Deal.”

[all-the-names-are-taken-aaaaa]

The Will of Ancient Gods part 2

Part one link

Chloe looked at the girl in front of her. "Alya you are a coward. A foolish one at that. You refused to listen to the girl you claimed as a best friend. You refused to look at the facts preferring fools gold. You live streamed your best friend taking the ultimate sacrifice. Whatever they decide your punishment no one will pitty you or that liar."

No one said a word. They all knew they were at fault. Not that Miss Bustier ever actually said anything against her.

Chloe look at the empty seat beside Alya. Sighing she moved to the back with Nino and Nathaniel. "You two are possibly the only ones that will get out of this unscathed. It's a shame you let love blind you Nino." Chloe says sitting down. Alya and Nino had a very public fight after the live stream but before the truth came out. Now it was public knowledge what they had done. Celebrity after Celebrity came forward after the first announcement of the Gods awakening. Everyone denied Lila's claims. Lawyers of the Celebrities were getting together. The school was being investigated. The Justice League sent representatives to negotiate with the Gods. They were trying to help the class.

"Diana we do not blame the League for this misshap but you must understand the consequences for harming a chosen." Tikki sighs. "Suger cube the youngest" Plag states looking past Diana too the bat clan. "A pure destruction soul." Tikki gasps. "He's hurt but he will heal in her presents" Plag states.

"You all plan to stay to train the young ones?" Tikki asks. Diana nods. "Then he shall join in the battle. As you know there must be a black cat and he will be rid of the lingering effects of the pit." Several members of the group flinch at the word pit.

Lila is cursed to only be able to tell the truth and has no filter. She can not shut up. She actually does time but not much since she is a minor. She is put in a school for troubled teens and has to do a lot of comunity service. She is forced to make a public apology befor being sent away from Paris to live with her grandmother.

Alya is cursed to only be able to tell the truth but no one will believe her if she does not have proof. Her blog is torn to shreds effectively destroying her dream of being a reporter. She along with most of the class has to pay for the destroyed designs. She also has fines and comunity service. Plus being grounded for a long time.

Adrian is cursed with pink and black unruly hair and randomly being forced to state his feelings. He is also pulled from school. He is informed that if he works on the new temple an hour a day his hair will eventually be normal.

Gabriel Agrest can not exit the mansion unless he is ill and must seek medical attention... It takes a while for him to figure it out. As hawkmoth he is cursed with a really bad stutter and tripping over magic bannanas.

Chloe is not cursed as she alread had a shrine for pollen.

Nino and Nathaniel do not have to pay fines for the designs. Nino is cursed to have the last bite of his favorite foods to fast like pure salt. Nathaniel is cursed to have a green cowlick. Both will go away as the temple is worked on.

Others have things like losing place in book constantly. Food always burnt. Having alergic reaction to favorite food. Random things disappear and reappear. Most of the class leaves Paris after their curses are removed. They aren't exactly on good terms with the citizens of Paris.

When Marinette woke up a week later, Damian was instructed to stay with her until it was decided were they would attend school. Her parents hugged her for a long time. Her and Damian get body guards since Paris is now aware of her identity. The citizens of Paris came together to make a new temple for the Kwamis. Public outcry against the class and school eventually leads to a lot of different school reforms across the country and most of the schools staff being replaced.

The new team consistes of Ryuuko, Viperion, Carapace, Queenie (redesigned outfit Chloe), Ladybug, Night(Damian), Foxie (Penny), Runner (horse miraculous Jagged), and Bunnix(from a different timeline).

Nathaniel, Nino, and Chloe are forgiven both by Marinette and Paris. Marc and Nathaniel get married in MDC original suits. Adrian eventually becomes kinda friends with them again.

"The sunset is beautiful from here" ladybug sighs her head resting in Nights lap. "Not as beautiful as you my angel" Night replies.

"You know it's kinda funny. I became famous as Ladybug then as MDC then as Marinette then all three all during the worst time of my life only to lead to the best thing in my life" ladybug leans up and kisses Night.

"Love is something wrong? You have a worried look." Damian says looking down at the princess of Paris.

"Well I know we don't have to worry much since Hawkmoth has retired but I'm nervous since I will not be able to be active in a few weeks" she explains moving his hand to her belly.

Nights face lights up in shock "Dick is going to kill me." Ladybug giggles.

A few months later MDC releases a baby clothes line.

Please comment what you think different classmates curses should be. Also if you asked to be tagged and are not I am sorry. For some reason it is not letting me I'll try to tag you in the comments or in another post.

@happygamerfriendo @legitimate-idiot @birdy912 @firesong323 @thornalchemist23 @ash-amg @heyitsbugette @gajer-1226 @goblinwhoships @i-will-be-your-ace @alessialeone6997 @pen-and-paper-sword-and-shield @sayuricorner @runestarchild @tails-and-scales @renamonroe @queen-in-a-flower-crown @thestressmademedoit @corabeth11 @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @iamabrownfox @miraculous-ninja @zebrabaker @ali-kitkat @vixen-uchiha @more-or-less-human-i-guess @zalladane @moonlightstar64 @elmokingkong @snnoww26 @lenamau @ginamarie1512 @ultra-sassyduck @wannajointhecrabcult @sam-i-am-0222 @dorkus-minimus @mewwitch @7-sage-7 @mochegato @heckinggremlin @babylovebug18 @shaymin492491 @asheanomhominem @sturchling @chocolate1721 @rosesandsundragons16

[supergirl-fanfiction]

Woulda Left Me Too

Lucy Lane x Reader

Requested by Anonymous

Can you write a lucy lane x r story based off of the song woulda left me too by ryan griffin?

Song- Woulda left me too by Ryan Griffin

(Y/N)- Your Name

Warnings- Angst, maybe like one curse word

You can't lie to yourself Sittin' in a quiet room Not long before the walls Start whispering back to you They saw everything and tell the truth In picture frames

You were laying down in bed scrolling through all the pictures of you and Lucy. You couldn't believe you had let her slip through your fingers. You had wanted to deny the truth, but sitting along in this quiet you knew you wouldn't be able to. Your thoughts began to consume you and you felt crazy. You wanted to forget everything that had happened these past couple of days. You wanted to pretend even if for only a little while that she was going to come back. Yet you were unable to.

You gave me every second chance I didn't realize There would come a last one Right before your goodbye And I understood just in time To be too late and

You felt the tears begin to fall down your face. Lucy had always given you another chance when you messed up. You got so used to her forgiving you and giving you another chance that you never stopped to think that eventually there would be no more second chances. When you finally realized that there would only be so many chances she gave you, it was already too late. She was packing up her bags and leaving you. You had finally understood that everyone eventually reaches their limits, even Lucy but it had taken her saying goodbye for you to finally grasp that concept.

Baby, I know how hard you tried But I couldn't see it at the time And I hate myself tonight For what I put you through I deserve every tear I cry For hurtin' you The truth is I woulda left me too

Lucy had given everything she had to your relationship. She had always tried to fix things between the both of you after your arguments and fights. You only wished you had realized how hard she tried to make things work between the both of you when it counted. You hated yourself right now for all the shit you had done to her. All she had ever done was love you with every part of herself and all you did was hurt her. You felt the sobs begin to escape from your lips as the tears began to fall faster. You welcomed the pain though. You deserved all of this and so much more for everything you had put Lucy through because honestly if she had even done half the things you did you would have left her a long time ago.

I'm not fool enough to think You'd ever take me back Oh, it's much, much, much Too late for that And I hope next time love treats you The way I wish I did, 'cause

You couldn't believe she had stuck around as long as she did. She was the greatest thing to ever happen to you and even though you wanted to believe that you could fix this you knew that wasn't possible. You would have to be the biggest fool in the universe to think that she would take you back. Not after everything you had done, all the pain you had caused to her. It was too late for that. It was too late for you to try and redeem yourself. All you could do was wish that the person who she fell in love with next treats her the way that you were wishing you had treated. You hoped they gave her all of their attention, took her dancing, remembered special dates like their anniversary, and were there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. You hoped that the next person that was lucky enough to call Lucy Lane theirs treated her like the queen she was.

Baby, I know how hard you tried But I couldn't see it at the time And I hate myself tonight For what I put you through I deserve every tear I cry For hurtin' you The truth is I woulda left me too I woulda left me too

Right now my sorry might not Mean a thing to you I just needed you to know

I'm done blaming you

You knew she had tried everything she could to try and stop your relationship from sinking but you had managed to ruin every single one of her efforts without even trying. You became too relaxed and comfortable. You had thought she would never run out of second chances for you. She loved you and she didn't give up on the things she loved. At least not without a fight. By the time you realized that she had fought as hard as she could to make you guys work and no longer had any fight left she had already walked out with the door closing slowly behind her. You knew that no amounts of I'm sorry would help and honestly they wouldn't mean shit to her now anyways. You just wanted her to know that you realized that it wasn't her fault. You now realized that you had been blaming the wrong person this whole times. It wasn't her fault, it was yours. You quickly pulled up her contact on your phone. You pressed call even though you knew it would go to voicemail. What you had to say though couldn't be said over text. You had to make sure she knew you were being sincere, maybe it would help her get closure. You didn't know. You just knew you couldn't text what you wanted to say. The phone rang 4 times before it went to voicemail. Your felt your heart clench when you heard her voice.

"Hey sorry I'm not able to come to the phone right now." She giggled and you could hear a whispered "(Y/N) stop" before she continued with her message "(Y/N) is probably distracting me leave a message and I'll get back to you after I kick their ass." Then there was the beep telling you to record your message. You were silent for a couple seconds. She hadn't changed her voicemail message yet and it caused another shot of pain straight to your heart. You tried clearing your voice as best as you could before talking.

"I know you probably won't even listen to this message and I wouldn't blame you. I just need you to know that I understand now and I'm sorry. You gave everything to us and I didn't realize that until you were walking out of my life. I know you won't take me back and I don't blame you. I just... I need you to know I don't blame you anymore. I realize it was all me and I hope that next time you fall in love with someone who realizes what they have with you before it's too late." You ended the message before you completely broke down over the phone.  

I know, I know how hard you tried But I couldn't see it at the time And I hate myself tonight For what I put you through I deserve every tear I cry For hurtin' you

I woulda left me too I'm done blaming you I woulda left me too

You knew you deserved every last shot of pain you were feeling right then and so much more. All Lucy had ever done was accept you and love you. You relayed her by breaking her heart over and over again with your words and actions. You knew that you couldn't blame her. After all if you had been in her shoes you would have left you too.

A/N- Sorry for not updating for awhile. A lot of things have happened. I can't guarantee consistent updates due to the fact that I'm still dealing with some personal issues but I wanted to let you know this book has not been abandoned and will not be abandoned. Also to everyone who has requested stories I have no idea when they will be uploaded. I have a pretty big list at the moment and I have like 3 or 4 that are half way written and a couple more that are practically done and I'm just having some trouble figuring out how to end them.