#I'm just torturing myself at this point
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AND HE'S JUST OKAY WITH IT, LIKE-

Gang, this is Shadow.
#i'm just torturing myself at this point#sonic prime#sonic prime s3#Sonic Prime#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sth#sonic#sonadow
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"The dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn’t. My guilt will not purify me"
that qoute lives in my head rent free.
(who said it, btw? I tried to find a source before the tumblr user @/ojibwa posted it and nothing came up)
#I struggle with certian addictions and end up relapsing and feeling immense guilt afterwards#and that guilt does nothing but add to my misery. It's just self flagellation at this point after my self will faltered#Then I remember this qoute and it helps. It grounds me a bit that there is no use weeping over this and torturing myself internally#What I can do is do better next time. Take better preventions. Have alternative ways ready.#There is no use mangling myself in guilt and shame over its corpse#the fire won't purify me. Burning myself will just leave me more wounded and susceptible to relapsing again#One of the reasons I'm very careful and cautious when it comes to taking pain killers for my migraines. I fear becoming addicted#So I just rawdog the head splitting headaches on most days#I hate taking antibiotics ugh I'm my worst self when I'm on them but I'm sick again and fuck just fuck all of this#I feel incredibly weak on them so I gravitate towards these old habits tnat I give ma rush or a feeling of being in control again#what is done is done. I'm just grateful I didn't cross the line. This is very fixable. No mistake is forever#If it is OP who came up with the post then I'm incredibly thankful for the qoute#☆other
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which will be the sixth character in the end? /lh
I was thinking Wilson from 'don't starve' or Yoshi if I see I can't get his hair right
#because his design isn't too complicated but also his hair seems challenging enough to keep me stimulated#if I really really can't get it tho I'll just draw yoshi yeah. but one thing is for sure#he'll suffer in my artstyle that's for sure#I'll try to doodle the other options at some point too if I find the time#unfortunately given the nature of my art this whole thing will be less '6 characters in these boxes' and more#'6 drawings that I'll crop to git in these boxes' if that makes sense#because I'm not gonna torture myself more than necessary sorry#not art#ask#anonymous#image#picture
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Did Loki decide to close his eyes and just let his mind drift after some time in the tree?
Or is he still keeping watch? Must be painful for him to just watch the lives of others while he can't even move in his chair, maybe he just tries to let his mind wander off so he can pretend he's sleeping or something like that 🥲
#loki#it's raining here rn and I'm feeling a little melancholic#so I decided to torture myself a bit with these thoughts#and yes I started sobbing as I was typing this 😭#I just want to get to him and give him a tight hug#tell him it's okay#he can leave now#he can rest#the job is done#his purpose was glorious indeed#but now he can go back to living his life#he can actually be happy now#please just give that man a little drop of happiness#I'm begging at this point
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wish i had reverse hearing aids where with the press of a button i can turn all of my hearing off
#autism machine broke and now i'm crying over this shit#i couldn't sleep last night for some reason and i went to nap#but it's too noisy. everything is too loud. and even when nothing is happening i keep imagining the noises that could happen#and that's worse! i'm just torturing myself at that point and i don't mean to do it it just happens in my brain i can't help it#my headphones help but they don't do enough#and i can't wear them to bed bc they're too big anyway#i need earplugs or something but i hate that i want that. i hate that they might not work well enough either#fucking frustrated. i hate this feeling. i just want to run away
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How does one contract scurvy from eating too many homemade pickles? And how many is too many?
when i first moved out and started cooking for myself i had a very poor diet. i think @lizardho has a picture of my fridge at one point, it was just various kinds of pickled things, and cured meats.
fast forward after like, three or four months of this, and i was at the dentist, getting my teeth cleaned, when the hygenist went ah, babs, your gums are bleeding. u need to floss more.
and i went i floss like, three times a day, and it always bleeds, and im always gentle, and you are lying bastard gum torturers. u can do what u need to, but dont stab my mouth and blame me when it bleeds.
the hygenist took exception to that. we didn't really shout at each other, but it was a tense exchange and i was just much more crabby than normal. eventually he left to get the dentist to sort things out.
cue the dentist coming back. he checked out my gums, gave me a lookover, then said hey. babs. are your joints kind of achey?
and i went yeah, i'm kind of hoping for another growth spurt, i'm 5'11 and it would be nice to finally hit the ol' 6'
and he went yeah, but you're 21, so that's not gonna happen. got any rashes? weird bruises?
and i had some decent bruises, and a weird rash on my leg, and he looked at them and we yeah you are quite vitamin c deficient. thats not easy to do in arizona. how much fresh fruit or vegetables have you had in your diet recently?
and i went does pickled count?
and that was his lightbulb moment. apparently pickling breaks down the vitamin c in things really well. he told me that i should just like, eat one or two raw bell peppers a day for a week and call him if that worked.
it did. my gums stopped bleeding, and my knees stopped hurting at night and my skin just felt smoother and nicer and i got a lot less crabby. no more mouthing off at dental hygenists.
i called him when the week was done, and i was embarrassed that i'd given myself scurvy like it was still the 18th century, and he said naw, not scurvy, but like. noticable deficiency. he said that it was a weird problem, but he'd run into it before - mostly with college students fresh out of the house. people trying to live off peanut butter and ramen for a few months at a time.
i took a multivitamin after that, but i also made an effort to try and eat like a normal human being. i failed occasionally but the effort made me feel a lot better.
my time in cross country gave me this sort of gnostic-feeling about my body. like it was a weak thing that i needed to overcome through will, and not like. me. at least not actually me. i think this was my first big wake up call that no, the body is not my enemy, i am my body, i am a physical object in this world, and if i don't take care of myself i am going to be worse at everything, including moral tasks, like not being a dick to the dental hygenist.
so. yeah. tldr, please don't spend months trying to live off pickles and salami. :/
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I want to go to the river again even though it's shitty outside...but surely the water's too high. I have to do birthday performance & by the time it's over it'll be dark and the park will be closed u_u
#fuck my stupid baka life#why did i think it was a good idea to stay up waiting again i know how that goes#literally what's the point of trying.#I think my goal will just to be to make myself happy. my immune system can't handle losing sleep anymore#I'm experiencing physical probs#i could have been at the river right now with my free birthday drink.#but instead I'm in my bed feeling exhausted and sad on my birthday. AGAIN. LOL.#if i only would have slept.#not sure what's wrong with me where i keep choosing this torture#okay I'm done now.#vent
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#people that invented higher education were like how can we get all these young people to wanna kts sooo so bad#i know that studying is a privilege i truly don't want to complain but ahhhh#like what is the point of having classes that are so long#that it's impossible to learn everything#like what even is the point? super specific things that i will never have to deal with#not even the doctors taking the exams know everything#like each doctor knows about what they're specialists in#but they ask you as if you're also a specialist#or looking to be one#i'm not even a doctor!!!#i'm literally not interested in toxicology in the slightest jkdsfjk#so whyyyyy do i have to torture myself#idk i'm so unmotivated idk what to do#i'm sorry nicki minaj i'm failing you...#it's been such a rough year#like i kinda just wanna not go and then just take the class again next year#like i fr have nothing left to give rn dsfndjk#:(((((((((((((#shut up laura
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notes, this was a cute requst ty anon!
★ Roommate!Sukuna sees you in a bikini for the first time.
There’s sand in your sandals, sunscreen in your eyes, and Sukuna complaining already.
“Who the fuck likes the beach?” he grumbles, kicking at the sand like it personally offended him. “It’s hot. It’s loud. It smells like fish."
You roll your eyes and spread your towel. “You sound like a 75-year-old man.”
He glares at you over his sunglasses. “You sound like a sunburn waiting to happen.”
You ignore him, dropping your cover-up and adjusting the bikini straps.
Sukuna freezes.
Oh. Oh, fuck.
He did not sign up for this.
You bend over to fix your bag — and he catches a flash of your ass. Bikini bottoms. Tiny. Pink. His soul briefly ascends.
He immediately looks away like you pulled a gun on him.
“What the hell are you wearing?” he barks, voice cracking slightly.
You blink. “A bathing suit?”
“That’s not a bathing suit. That’s floss.”
“Don’t be dramatic.”
“I’m not being—” he cuts off, eyes darting back and instantly looking away again. “You’re the one out here butt naked, acting like this is your OnlyFans launch party.”
You squint. “Why are you being weird?”
“I’m not being weird,” he hisses, adjusting his position on the towel like he’s uncomfortable. Which he is. In multiple ways.
You sigh and sit beside him, smearing sunscreen on your arms.
He watches you from the corner of his eye — mouth dry, sunglasses hiding how they’re nearly glued to your collarbone.
Jesus fucking Christ.
You nudge him with a grin. “Wanna do my back?”
“I’d rather get hit by a boat.”
You pout. “C’mon. I’ll get sunburned.”
He takes the bottle with a grunt, muttering the whole time. “Stupid beach. Stupid bikini. Dumbass roommate with her dumb shiny skin and her hot little waist—fuckin’ hell.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Shut up.”
His fingers graze your back and he has to swallow the groan threatening his throat. You're warm. You're soft. You smell like coconut.
This is fine. This is normal.
He finishes in record time and throws the bottle like it insulted his family. Then lays back and covers his face with his towel like he’s being punished by God.
You giggle. “You’re acting so strange.”
He mutters something like, “I’m gonna fucking drown myself.”
You stretch beside him, and he peeks over the towel — only to see you adjusting your top again. Your chest. Bouncing.
He jerks his head back with a thud on the sand. “FUCK.”
“Are you okay?”
“Peachy.”
You reach into the cooler and hand him a popsicle. “Here. Chill out.”
He glares at you.
Then at the popsicle.
Then back at your lips.
He takes it and bites it like it owes him money.
“You’re not even fun,” you say. “I brought you out here to relax.”
“This is the opposite of relaxing,” he growls. “This is torture.”
You raise a brow. “So go home.”
He scoffs. “And leave you here? Half-naked? In public? Where other people can see you?”
“…Is that a problem?”
He looks you dead in the eye. “Yes. It’s a fuckin’ problem.”
“Why?”
“Because I—because it—fuck off.”
You blink, confused. “Are you blushing?”
He points the popsicle at you accusingly. “Don’t flatter yourself, porn star.”
“You’ve been acting so weird since I took off my cover-up.”
“Yeah, because you came out here dressed like a Sports Illustrated midlife crisis!”
You burst out laughing, which only makes him scowl harder. His sunglasses are fogged up. He’s fidgeting. His ears are red.
“You’re such a loser,” you grin.
He snarls, “Say that again and I’ll drown you.”
“Aw, are you flustered?”
“I'm annoyed,” he snaps, but his voice breaks on the end and he knows he's losing.
You lean back, smug. “You like me in this bikini, huh?”
Sukuna doesn't respond.
He just bites his popsicle again with unnecessary violence, eyes glued to the ocean, and mutters:
“…I'm gonna build a sandcastle and bury myself in it.”
Taglist, @humeysaga @williamafton26 @aranisbaee @probablynotleahhhh @probablynotleahhhh. @beaniesayshi @levifiance @rinofcike @fushiguroooozzz @gojoscumslut @bellsoftheball @kunascutie.
#jjk#jjk x you#roommate jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk x reader#sukuna#roommate sukuna#sukuna fluff#sukuna scenario#sukuna imagines#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna drabbles#sukuna ff
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Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?
Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.
Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!
But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"
Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.
I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.
Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.
But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.
Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.
Also, we don't censor words here.
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Pick your poison
Analyzing tragedy and these three specific frames cause I watched Karma again (and I apparently just love torturing myself)
IvanTill: Unrequited Love

Feel like I'm gonna come under fire for this but if this image doesn't scream unrequited I don't know what does. This sequence has probably the most intense imagery, Ivan is holding Till down, forcing his heart (aka feelings) onto him. Till is literally the victim of his emotions in this.
Ivan is crying despite being the so called assailant. Till isn't.
Ivan loves him. I'd argue Ivan's love for Till is one of the purest out of the three main pairings. Could Till have loved him back? Maybe. But it didn't matter in the end because Till never knew. He could never even begin to comprehend the depths of Ivan's emotions before it was too late and that's what makes it utterly tragic.
It was never going to work, love isn't something that can be forced and as a consequce we see Ivan's heart shattering (he literally ended up breaking his own heart).
MiziSua: Toxic Codependency

Yeah, not much explanation is needed for this one. The sequence was pretty straightforward with both Mizi and Sua being depicted with bleeding broken hearts that eventually become whole.
Notice how they are both under the same bridal veil?
A marriage of suffering. That is what this is.
Is it healthy? Hell no, but together they can at least pretend they were never broken.
Hyuluka: Star-crossed

My doomed heteros.
I found this frame the most interesting because out of the three, Luka is the only one depicted alone, surrounded by the dead.
Out of the three pairings I find Hyuluka the most tragic because their love was requited but it was dead before it even had the chance to begin. They are a thousand could-have- beens but whatever chance they had died with Hyun-woo, and in the end there was nothing either of them could really do about it.
Luka is still offering his heart, but Hyuna's is already shattered. Notice how she has her own hand in her chest? Luka wasn't the one who ultimately broke her heart, it was Hyuna herself. She never forgave Luka, never forgave herself for still loving him and never truly moved on from Hyun-woo's death. She held on so hard, refusing to let go to the point where it ended up breaking her own heart.
Maybe in a world where Hyun-woo had lived things might have been different, but their love was ultimately impossible in this one, doomed by one wrong move and circumstances far beyond their control.
#alnst karma#alnst#alien stage#alnst hyuna#alnst luka#hyuluka#alnst mizi#alnst sua#mizisua#alnst till#alnst ivan#ivantill
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Baby, It's Alright - Chapter Two
(Dr. Robby x Fem!Reader)
A little later than I promised but here it is!
Summary: Reader gets a sort of second date with Robby that sort of doesn't go the way she planned. It sort of goes better...
TW: all my content is considered 18+, age gap, car accident but everyone is fine, medical inaccuracies, DIY medicine = kids don't try this at home, sort of slow burn sorry, quiet flirting, male friendship, includes Dr Jack Abbot x nurse wife!OFC, Jack and Sam are INVESTED, Reader is nervous and twitterpated, Robby is falling and he's working through that ok!
This is a part of my "Save Me From Myself" series, if you feel so inclined you can check that out! Love you all for the love!
Read Chapter One here if you missed it!
~~~~~
Sam had invited you out for coffee after your shift and once you had found a table she asked the question you had been expecting for a week. "So, how are you feeling about your sexy, older, ER doc crush now?"
"Do you have to say it that way?" You supposed you should be grateful she'd let you go this long without bringing it up. It had given you time to think.
"Yes," She smiled, "I'm honestly having fun torturing you both. Stop avoiding the question."
You thought for a minute while you picked at your muffin, "Is it weird?" You were aware it was a vague yet somehow loaded question.
Sam still smiled, a little softer, as she reached up to let her bun down, "I don't think I can answer that for you." She paused to take a sip of her coffee and then continued. "What I can tell you is that when I first got to spend some time with Jack, we didn't know anything about each other, but, we sat and ate together and I knew that I could sit at a shitty picnic table and eat shitty pizza with him anywhere in the world and be perfectly happy."
You thought about what she had said, thought about dinner and the chat you had with Robby after.
Across rhe table from you Sam chuckled, "You realize you don't even have to say it right? It's written all over your face."
~~~~~
Robby blinked, snapped out of his thoughts, as his earbuds read out, "Incoming call from: Sam Abbot"
"Good morning Mrs. Abbot."
"Good morning Dr. Robinavitch. You on your way to work?"
"Mhmm, you've got three blocks."
She got right to the point, "If I told you Y/N was interested in seeing you again, what would you say?"
Robby scoffed, "I'd ask what you're bribing her with."
"Robby I swear to God, do you like her or not?"
"I don't know that it's that easy Sam."
"Because you're making it complicated."
"It is what I do best."
"You should have seen her face this morning when I brought you up." When that doesn't get a response out of him she continues, "I knew it! You big chicken, just admit you would like to see her again."
"I don't know Sam."
Something in his tone sobers Sam up a little bit, "Ok, I'm not bullying you,"
"You sure?" He interrupted, only half teasing.
"Shut up. Look, she liked meeting you at the house the other night and I think she really likes you. So, I won't beat you up about it, but will you at least promise me you'll think about it? You might be pleasantly surprised."
Robby was quiet for most of the next block, "Ok, I will think about it. I am thinking about it."
Sam's smile was evident in her voice, "Ok, good. I'm glad. Have a good day at work, okay."
Robby couldn't help but smile with her, "I will, I'll make sure Jack leaves on time."
~~~~
As soon as Robby got inside the the ED Dana met him at the counter, "So, haven't seen you, how'd dinner go with the VA cutie go?"
Robby glared at Jack as he gathered up his stuff. Jack just glared right back.
"Oh please," Dana scoffed, "Don't look at him, he's like trying to get gossip out of a KGB agent."
Robby throws another glance at Jack who just shrugs and slaps him on the back on his way out. When he turns back to Dana he sighs, "Ok, what did Sam tell you?"
"Nothing much, just talked to her quick the other day and she said they had you two over for dinner and that Y/N had a good time."
Suddenly, he was already exhausted and he had only just got to work, "Is there anyway for me avoid this conversation?" The look she gives him says it all. "Dinner was... fine, actually no dinner was good. She is everything Sam said she was and more."
Dana softened, "But?"
He sighs and scratches at his beard as he leans his elbows on the counter, "She's so young."
With an arched brow, "Robby, she's a grown woman, and from what I hear she's a grown woman that likes what she sees."
~~~~~
Robby heard the access door open, but he didn't turn. DIdn't need to.
"At least you're on this side of the rail this time."
Robby scoffed, "Look who's talking."
Jack nodded, "Came to tell you to go home." He stepped up to the rail and leaned his forearms over the top. "What're you doin' up here anyway?"
His colleague didn't answer right away, but Jack waited him out. "Needed some quiet, time to think about some things."
"Would one of those things happen to be a pretty, little nurse over at the VA?"
"That's your shtick brother." Robby gave him a side eye.
Jack shook his head with a chuckle, "Well that wasn't a no." He turned his head and gave Robby a look, "C'mon, tell me what's up. You got," He turned his wrist over, "Five minute before my shift starts."
"You a counselor now?" Robby scoffed.
"Four minutes, 50 seconds."
"Fuck me, you really want to talk about this?"
"Not especially, but we're gonna." He stood up and turned around to lean back against the rail, "And I really only have it in me to say this once, so listen."
Robby grumbled, but did not interrupt.
"I know the age thing is messing with you, but I think you're makin' a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be. You know, Sam fell for a... a 29 year old soldier with a six pack and God complex. Now, she's married to a 46 year old doctor with fucking grey hair, frown lines, PTSD and a shitty schedule. She still loves me, and yeah shut up, God knows why sometimes. But look brother, she's the only thing that keeps me above ground on the really bad days."
After a deep breath Robby shook his head, "Still different. She wouldn't be getting any of the good years, and Jesus I feel old just thinking about it." He laughed at himself.
Jack laughed a little, at Robby as much as at himself, "I mean, you're older than me." He takes the jab because he can't help himself, "But, for what it's worth, sometimes yeah, you're goin' to feel old as fuck, but most the time the age difference thing isn't even a factor." He paused and turned back around, hands gripped the railing as he leaned into it. "Then there's sometimes man where she's goin' make you feel twenty years old again, ten feet tall and fucking bulletproof." He chuckled, "Plus, look at it this way, now you got twenty, thirty years experience to put behind it."
"Oh fuck off." Jack laughed again, "C'mon, times up, otherwise I'm goin' to bill you." He pushed back from the railing.
"Sam, she's your once in a lifetime man." Robby's voice sounded tight. "Doesn't happen every day."
Stopped two steps away Jack turned back, hands in his pockets, and nodded, "You ever think Y/N might be yours?"
~~~~~~
When Sam had texted you last week that Robby was interested in seeing you again your initial reaction had been panic. Dinner at Jack and Sam's had been fun, easy even. Then you stopped and thought about going on a real, actual date, just you and Robby.
For whatever reason, the thought scared you, like maybe you weren't quite ready for that just yet. You wanted to see him again, you knew that for sure, but you couldn't help but feel like that first night had been less of a date and more of a dinner with friends.
Sam had teased you, a little, "Not that we mind, but you are going to have to take the training wheels off at some point."
She had agreed though and that was how you found yourself in Sam's SUV on your way to lunch. Jack driving and Robby up front with him, Sam next to you currently leaned over the center console typing in the restaraunt address into the GPS screen.
"Would you please, sit your ass back down?" Jack chided his wife with a smile. "I know where we're going."
You stifled a laugh as Sam caught your gaze and rolled her eyes as she settled back into her seat and buckled her seat belt. "So bossy."
From where you sat you could see the look they gave each other in the rearview mirror. You also saw the moment, halfway through an intersection, when Jacks eyes jumped the left.
"Mother fuck..." He didn't even get out the rest of the word before the car that had blown through the stoplight slammed into the SUV.
Tires squealed and you could hear the creak and crunch of metal on metal over the ringing in your ears as the airbags deployed.
~~~~~
"Sam, baby you okay?"
"Yeah! I'm fine."
"Y/N, you okay?"
Everything was fuzzy, your ears still rang and this time it was Robby calling back to you, "Y/N, hey, are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm, I'm okay."
As your vision cleared you heard a repeated pop and hiss, pop and hiss. Jack had pulled out his knife and was popping the airbags on the driver side of the SUV. You flinched when your door opened, but a warm hand grabbed your wrist and squeezed.
"Hey," Robby spoke calmly, "Cover your eyes for me." Another pop and hiss and the side curtain airbag between you and him deflated. "There we go. Hey, look at me. Anything hurt?" When you didn't answer right away he ducked his head to catch your eye, "Does anything hurt?" His eyes scanned you head to toe and he gave you a little nod when you told him nothing hurt. "Ok, good watch my finger for me. Perfect." His hands moved to take each of yours, "Squeeze for me. Good. Move your feet?" He gave a smile and a nod, "Ok, you're ok, c'mon. I got you."
"Robby!" Jacks voice carried from the other side of the SUV, "I got three over here. Driver's unresponsive!"
Robby helped you out and away from the Tahoe where it had come to rest in corner of the intersection.
"Sam, grab a kit!"
You watched Robby disappear around the SUV and you could hear Sam behind you. When you turn she had a phone pressed to her ear as she opened the back hatch.
"Intersection of South Highland and Liberty. MVC in the southound lane, three vehicles involved." She drug a backpack out of the back, "We are going to need EMS, yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. Expect multiple injuries. My name is Samantha Abbot. Yes ma'am."
Head still fuzzy you watched as she jogged towards the car that had hit you, the whole front end completely mangled. After a second your instinct kicked in and you followed after her.
Jack didn't even look over his shoulder as Sam came up behind him, "Driver is unresponsive to pain, pupils are pinned. Grab me the narcan."
You took Sam's lead and went to Robby to see what you could do to help. He looked up at you briefly, "Check her in the back. If shes's ok get her over to the sidewalk. Then come back, grab me one of the kits out of the Tahoe on your way. Should be a backpack, probably camo or black."
Grateful for the direction you did as he said and came back with a black backpack moments later. "Got it."
"Ok perfect." He glanced at the bag, "That big front pocket should be some 4x4 gauze, grab me that and then can you hold C-spine for me?"
You crawled in the backseat and supported the passengers head and neck from behind.
"Jack, you got a collar?" Robby called out across the car. "Looks like the passenger went head versus windshield."
Sam came jogging back, "Other car is fine, minor lacs and bag burn, a little spooked. I can hear EMS. What you need?"
"Grab the collar out of the pelican case, give it to Robby." Jack caught the driver by the shoulders as he sat bolt up right with a gasp. "Welcome back. What did you take?" When he got no answer he made a fist and rubbed it over his sternum, "Focus buddy. You were in a car accident, do you remember what happened? Can you tell me what you took?"
The cops get there first and apparently one of them recognized Jack and Robby, "Don't you guys ever take a day off?"
Robby scoffed, "This was supposed to be my day off."
"Just can't help it." Jack laughed as EMTs arrived and made their way over, "Overdose here, came around with three of narcan, this is the driver. Robby has the worst, looks like he's banged up pretty good, no seat belt. Backseat passenger, and passengers in the third car they're all minor lacs, contusions, abrasians."
"What about the Tahoe?" Jack grimmaced, "That's us, we're all good, just clipped the front quarter panel when they ran the light."
A cop looked around, "RP?"
Jack pointed to Sam, "My wife, Samantha, called it in on my phone."
"Looks like you need checked out too man." The cop pointed at a gash on Jacks arm from the broken glass, but he just waved it off.
Another set of EMTs ushered you out of the backseat so they could get to the passenger. One of them taking over holding traction and you moved to the side. Out of the way. You couldn't help but think, through the pounding headache, that this was not how this afternoon was supposed to go.
~~~~~
After you had talked to one of the cops, told them the little bit you could, you headed back towards the Tahoe to grab your purse. The cops said the vehicles would all be towed.
When you get back to the SUV you find Sam and Jack at the back, the hatch open and Jack sitting in the back. His left foot is braced on the bumper, his arm rested over his knee while his wife sutured the small gash on his forearm.
"Good, make sure to finish it with a..."
Sam froze and her eyes snapped up to Jacks with a scowl.
"Habit, sorry, just habit." He gave her a smile and his right thumb stroked over her hip where he had his right hand resting while she worked on him.
When an EMT comes back with Robby he took one look at the couple and groaned, "Dude, seriously?"
Jack glanced up at the kid in uniform, "Go get the form."
"SIr, that needs seen by a doctor."
You caught Robby's chuckle from where he sood just behind you.
"I am a doctor," Jack kept his tone flat, "I've seen it. She'll do a better job than wherever you would take me anyway. Go get the form."
Brow furrowed you turn to Robby, "He's really not going to go to the hospital?"
He gave you a little grin, "Have you ever seen and ER doctor actually go to the hospital?" He laughs, "If he can't do it himself, she does it. Nothing new."
Not that you doubt your boss, she's a bad ass nurse, but, "She's not a doctor, what if it was something serious that she's never done before?"
"He talks her through it." He gives you a wink that makes you forget about the accident for a second. "I'm still not convicned she hasn't removed his appendix just to see if she could." He lightened the mood a little bit and then his eyes softened as they settled on your face. "How's your head feel now?"
Robby reached up and brushed a thumb around the edge of the abrasion on your forehead. The burn from the side curtain airbags. Your eyes closed of their own accord at his gentle touch, "Hurts."
His thumb moved low to trace under the apple of your cheek where the skin was also raw and tender, "Adrenaline is starting to wear off."
Jack spoke up, his eyes trained on the knot his wife tied in his suture. "Take her home. We'll have to wait for the wrecker."
Robby gave you a nod and a soft smile, "Let's grab your stuff."
~~~~~
Later, while they're watching the wrecker drag her Tahoe with it's mangled front end onto the flatbed, Jack wrapped his arm around Sam's shoulders and gave her a squeeze, "Sorry about your car baby." He dropped a kiss to the top of her head.
Sam sighed deep, and rested her head on his shoulder, "Just glad it wasn't worse." She turned to look him up and down, "Sure you're ok?" Focusing on the tiny laceration on his temple she'd glued, the dressing on his forearm and the way his bad shoulder dipped just a little lower than the other.
"I'm fine." He looked her in the eye and gave her a nod, "Glad it was me not you."
She rolled her eyes, "Don't do that." Sam smiled carefully, and then chuckled a bit. "Here," She held up the dog tags she'd pulled off the rearview mirror, "Want these? Old times sake?"
Jack cracked a smile and took his old dog tags from her, a reminder from a lifetime ago. "I've got a set already." He gave her a wink as he bounced the tags and chain in his palm a couple times, thinking fondly about the old set of hers always hanging in his truck. "Here." He smiled wider as he slipped the chain around her neck, moved her hair out of the way and then tugged on the collar of her shirt so he could drop the tags inside.
Sam's eyes never left his and she smirked, "You think you're cute don't you?"
He pursed his lips with a shrug, "Married me didn't you?"
She let him kiss her on the forehead as she hummed skeptically.
"C'mon," He whispered against her brow and gave her one more kiss, "We'll go get somethin' to eat, guess we'll Uber to the house then we can take the truck to go pick up all our shit."
She ducked out from under his arm and gave him a look, "I'm sorry, we can go get something to eat?"
"Yeah," He gave her a blank look, playing at not understanding why she questioned it, "I'm fucking starving."
"You're hungry? You sent Robby and Y/N home." When he continued to stare she elaborated, "To presumably take it easy, because they were just in a car accident, but we're going to just go to lunch?"
Jack shrugged, "Eh, let Robby take her home, play a little doctor. Do 'em both some good."
Sam's eyes went wide, "Oh my God! You give me shit, but you do want them to get together!" She gave him a calculated shove and shook her head at him.
He kept up the straight face and tugged her back to him, "Not what I said."
~~~~~~
Robby was in your apartment.
You weren't sure what possessed you, where you had found the guts to invite him inside, but the way he had been looking at you made you think that maybe he had wanted you to.
As soon as he was across the threshold of your tiny apartment he pointed to your loveseat, "Go sit down." You did as he said and watched as he washed his hands in your sink and then ran a handful of paper towels under cold water. "Okay if I clean this up a little bit?" He asked as he gently pressed the damp towels to your brow and cheek.
Even though the towels were cool you felt your whole body flush when he touched you. Just barely touches you, as he guides your hand up to hold them in place. "Robby, you don't have to, really."
"Michael, and that's not what I asked." He gave you an easy little grin, trying to pry the cooperation out of you. When you finally give him the nod he had been waiting for that smile gets a fraction bigger. "It's not too bad. Where's your first aid kit? I'll clean it up and put a little dressing on to help it heal faster."
Next thing you knew Michael was sitting on the ottoman in front of you cleaning up and dressing the area where the airbags had irritated your skin. You didn't know what kind of doctor he was on shift, but the way he carefully held you steady with one hand and treated the burns with the other, his touch confident yet gentle, those deep brown eyes focused on the task, you could certainly imagine.
Occasionally though those eyes would flick to yours, and the way he sat with his legs bracketing yours you were close enough to see there was something hiding in those eyes. Just as much as there was something hiding in his careful touch.
You didn't mean to whisper when you spoke up, but you couldn't risk disturbing the moment. "Sorry this afternoon didn't quite turn out the way I had hoped."
He gave you a little smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes, "You weren't the one that ODed and ran the red light."
"I know," You watched his hands as he packed up your first aid kit. "But still, I was looking forward to it."
The way he looked at you looked like that might have surprised him. That you had been looking forward to seeing him. The look passed quickly, like he had hidden it away, and then he looked at his watch. "Could still do a late lunch. If you feel up to it."
~~~~~~
Michael had offered to take you out to eat, to make up for the date that you had missed out on, but you had panicked. You didn't like the idea of him leaving your apartment now that you'd seen him move through it. As silly as it sounded, you worried that you wouldn't get him back again if you let him leave now. "Would you be okay if we order something and just ate here?"
For a brief moment he hesitated and appeared to have an array of emotions spin through him before he settled on a nod, "What sounds good?" He had already pulled up the DoorDash app on his phone.
You agree on something and he orders it. The restaraunt is close by so it shouldn't be long. You glance around your tiny, effeciency apartment. Coursework is scattered all over you kitchen table and you suddenly realize your mistake.
Behind you Robby must see you hesitate, "If I had to guess I'd say that table doesn't get used to eat much?"
"Basically never." You admit, embarrassed.
His gaze shifts over the menagarie of books and pens, markers, reports and studies littered with multi-colored sticky notes. He smiles, "Going for your Masters right?"
"Yeah. A decision I regret almost daily." You laughed at your own self-inflicted torture and than catch the look he gives you. A clear invitation to explain yourself. "I was never good at the whole school thing. I'm smart don't get me wrong, but the classes, the lectures, homework, I've always hated it."
"So, why are you doing it?"
"I want to teach, and no the irony is not lost on me."
"Really?"
"That hard to believe?"
"No." He shakes his head, not backpedaling or second guessing his answer just a simple no. "Wouldn't think someone so young would be going that route is all."
This was not a new sentiment. "I love being a nurse, always have, and it's always been what I wanted to do."
"But..." He tilted his head to one side and waited patiently.
You chewed on your lip and thought for a moment, "Take today for example. Sam is an amazing nurse and I've learned so much from her already, but I always get the feeling that she craves the chaos of it. That's why shes where she is. You can watch her work and she thrives in situations like that. Running an ER is exactly where she belongs. Me, I can do the work and yes I do love it, but I've never had that level of desire for it. I don't need it like she does. I've always been more drawn to... cultivating the love for this in others." You pause not meaning to ramble, "I fumbled a little today, until I saw you and Jack and her dive in headfirst and, like right now, I just think that I'm meant more to help others build that foundation, that confidence and competency to go out there and find where they belong in all this. I might not ever be the nurse that can take charge and own the floor when everything is falling apart, but I love the idea that I could help send hundreds or maybe even thousands of nurses into the system that could."
Robby, Michael, just stares at you for a long time.
Your heart suddenly pounds in your ears, "Sorry, I kind of just word vomited all over you." You laugh to try and dispel the awkwardness.
He just shakes his head, "Don't apologize. I think that's incredible." The look he gives you feels like it could stop your heart. Or maybe shock it back into rythym.
A knock at the door ends it there, for now.
"Foods here."
~~~~~
He moves to answer your door like he's done it a dozen times before. Maybe it's just because you haven't moved a muscle from where you were standing when you heard the word 'incredible'. "So, If you don't eat at the table?" He waits patiently for you to answer.
You fidget a little before youdo "This is so embarrassing, but honestly, I usually just eat over the sink, or sometimes i'll sit on the floor and use the ottoman for a table."
The thought hits him without warning, 'I'm too old for this', but then he takes that extra beat to really think about it. He thought about what Jack had said, that sometimes she might make him feel old as fuck, but sometimes...
So, he takes the takeout into your tiny living room and set's it on the oversized footstool.
You give him a little look as he settles down on the floor next to you and leans back against the front of the loveseat. "Do you want me to grab the Icy Hot now or wait until you try to get up?"
Robby laughs, he couldn't help himself, because yes he feels old as fuck, but he likes that you can poke at him, push him, say things that make his cheeks heat up. A part of him can't help but think about what he would do if this was real, if this wasn't just an attempt to salvage a sort of first date that went off the rails. If you were his.
Because if you were his and you'd teased him like that he would want to forget about the takeout and make sure you were both a little sore when you got up off the floor.
~~~~~
After you eat you have to force yourself to tell him you have school work, because you would sit on the floor with him the rest of the night if you could. What Sam had said about shitty pizza and picnic tables flashed through your mind and you smiled.
At the door you ask, "Would you be willing to try lunch again sometime, or dinner? With real furniture."
Michael gives you that crinkly eyed smile and shoves his hands in his pockets, "I'm not opposed to the floor, but I might make you pay for the chiropractor next time."
Your heart was a jackhammer in your chest when he reached up to ghost a finger over the dressing he'd put over the abrasions on your cheek and face.
"Do something for me?" He words are soft, not teasing anymore.
Anything. You have to choke the word down with a nod.
His touch lingers, "Come by tomorrow, so I can see you. Take a look at this." He traced the edge of a bandage, "My shift starts at seven."
~~~~~~
You had never been so nervous to walk into a hospital before in your life as you were when you entered the PTMC Emergency department like Michael had requested. You join the line to wait, but one of the registrars makes eye contact with you and waves you up.
You apologize to everyone that you passed in the line and gave her your name at the window, "I'm supposed to see Dr. Robinavitch." She smiled, "Yes, yes, he told me to keep an eye out for you. All the way to your right, I'll buzz you in."
You nearly run into Jack as you step through the fire doors into the ED. You flinch a little, startled, but you don't think Jack Abbot has been startled by anything in his life.
He does look a little curious though. "Hey, long time no see." He had a long sleeve shirt on under his scrub top, you assumed to cover the bandage and the cut on his arm. The small cut at his temple has a bruise around it now. "What're you doing here? Everything okay?" He ducked his head to look at you, clearly concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine, fine. Just following doctors orders." You pointed to where Michael stood by the main nurses station.
Jacks eyebrows jump as he nods and adjusts his backpack, then he meets Robby's gaze across the way. They exchange a look you can't read and then Jack turned back to you. "Ok then. Take it easy ok? I'll see you around."
You don't see the smirk on his face as he continued to the door, but Robby does.
You also don't see him immediately pull his phone out of his pocket as he pushes through the door with his shoulder, but Robby does.
"Good morning." You try for bright and cheery and not sick to your stomach with nerves.
Michael smiles, skips over the pleasantries, "How are you feeling?" He reached for your temple while his eyes asked if it was ok.
You nodded, "Little headache this morning, nothing bad. How about you?"
"Oh, I'm just fine." He carefully pulls back the tape holding the dressing down and does a quick exam. "This looks ok. Want me to dress it again?"
Selfishly you nodded, "If you don't mind. Since you made me drive all the way down here."
He gave you a look as he guided you back behind the nurses station and into one of the chairs. "Wait right here, I'll be back."
Just as soft and competent as before he cleaned and treated the burns from the airbag, this time only putting a dressing over the one on your forehead.
He had just finished up when a nurse in grey scrubs came around the corner, "We run out of rooms and hallways already?"
Michael chuckled, "Just a quick check up. Dana this is Y/N, Y/N this is Dana."
Dana's smile doubles as she looks from you to him and then back. "Oh my God, yes! It's so good to meet you." She pulled you into a hug you were not expecting, "Sammy's told me all about you."
You try not to flush, but you can see Michael's cheeks go just a little pink so you know at least you're not alone.
~~~~~
You were barely out the door when Robby's phone goes off and he gets a text from Sam.
'Doctors orders huh? Winky face, winky face. What's you next weekend off? I'll see if I can get you two a Saturday night for your next follow up.'
Robby drops his head and groans as he spins his phone around and around in his fingers.
Dana pops up next to him again, "What's that face for?"
He looks her in the eye, "One of these days, I'm going to push Jack off the roof."
~~~~~
By the time you left Robby's department you were all fixed up again, had his number in your phone and felt like your head was about to spin right off. When your phone vibrated, still in your hand, you nearly dropped it.
A text from Michael Robinavitch, 'If you're free Saturday after next, how would you feel about dinner? Real restaraunt, real furniture."
Your heart raced as you checked your email, silently praying Sam had sent out the schedule for next month, and there it was, a free Saturday night. Nearly shaking you texted him back, 'What if I liked sitting on the floor with you?' You bit your lip and waited.
"Compromise for the couch after dinner?'
~~~~
Chapter Three
#the pitt#the pitt hbo#the pitt fanfic#the pitt fanfiction#dr robby#dr robby fanfiction#dr robby x reader#dr robinavitch#Dr Robby x you#Robby x reader#dr. michael robinavitch#dr michael robinavitch x reader#dr jack abbot#dr jack abbot x ofc#shawn hatosy#noah wyle
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The thing that's never made sense to me is the "Holocaust inversion" talking point and the idea that we are "moralizing" the Holocaust as something you're supposed to learn from which like aside from the fact that israel's entire pr is that it needs to exist because of the Holocaust, I really don't understand how feeling empathy based on past experiences is like... a moralizing action?
Even those who don't feel empathy, they still like... have the universal idea that you shouldn't do bad things onto other people. When you consider that yeah, when you live in the world, you experience terrible things and you relate those terrible things to other terrible things happening in the world. That's just what everyone does. Whenever I hear things happening to indigenous Turtle Islanders I always relate it back to Palestine. When I hear about violence happening to Black people, I think "Ah it must be terrifying" and I think back to my own family members and friends who were killed by Israel. When i think of antiBlackness in arab spaces, i relate it back to the occupation and compare myself to the occupation on whether or not im inflicting the same pain i and my family endure onto others. It's just how you experience the world. No one is asking you to "learn" from the Holocaust, people are just asking you to apply empathy.
A universal example is that you don't really understand the grief of losing a loved one until you yourself lose a loved one. And when you encounter a person who lost a loved one as well, you relate to them in a unique way that you wouldn't have without having that experience of grief before. It's not a moralizing experience, it's just... an experience. An awful one but you don't *learn* anything from it.
So it always confounds me that there's such vehement pushback against the idea that what Palestinians are going through is similar to the Holocaust because it's not like we're making light of the Holocaust? It's that we are asking you, a zionist (in this case one who is Jewish specifically), to acknowledge that there are similarities between the way Palestinians are treated and the ways Jews, Roma, and multiple other people were treated during the Holocaust. It's that we're relegated to second class status, we are considered lesser, we are confined to ghettos, we have our livelihoods stolen from us, we have weapons tested on us, we're survielled like we are dangerous monsters and we experience systematic segregation. And now we are experiencing mass slaughter campaigns within our concentration camps. But what's the issue? Are you offended that Palestinians can even remotely understand the terrible violence that Jews experienced in the Holocaust? Or are you denying that Palestinians are experiencing those things??
People always bring up like "Oh you don't understand what exactly happened during the Holocaust, you're just using it as a stand in for "a very bad thing"" and that's like... never made sense either because what does that mean? I'm not... using the Holocaust out of nowhere, I'm using it because Israel tells US, PALESTINIANS, that we need to be kicked out and raped and tortured *because* of the Holocaust. When us, Palestinians, ask you to feel empathy for us based on what you experienced during the Holocaust, we aren't just pulling it out of thin air, we are using a zionist talking point and pointing out the flaws. "Does experiencing a Holocaust allow you to conduct massacres and unbelievable violence onto other people?" and "Why are we paying for the terrible crimes of Europeans? Why is this our fault that we must suffer for it, as you, a zionist, insist we must?"
It's just so confusing how people would take offense at feeling empathy for Palestinians. We aren't denying the awful, awful genocide of the Holocaust, nor are we "making light of it..." but if you believe that comparing what Palestinians go through is making light of the Holocaust, then you must think that what we are going through is not bad at all.
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✎ᝰ. green with envy ! . heartslabyul

in which, some guy gets a little too close to you. how would heartslabyul react?
featurin : heartslabyul
cw : gn!reader, slightly ooc(esp cater's..idk how to write for him, and this wasn't even requested. why am i torturing myself...?), grammar mistakes, fluff, swear words, jealousy
a/n : hey... i am in the mood for writing again:P also i just realized i made 3 jealous fics LMAO maybe i js like it when men gets jealous😣 /hj (yes i'll be making for all dorms, though i'm not sure if it'll be in order)

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
riddle is... someone who would puff his cheeks out unconciously as he watched someone else flirting with you from afar. 'who do they think they are, to be flirting with name?', would also be his first thought. he's annoyed, sure. but riddle trusted you enough to the point where he won't glare at the man like a feral dog (he's literally doing it right now. but none of you saw him, so that doesn't count.)
riddle is... someone who would intervene your conversation with the stranger if you can't handle them yourself. once you started to look into his eyes with panic in yours, riddle knows that it is his time to shine! he would walk straight to the stranger and put his hand on their shoulder—saying, "do you know that it is against the law to be harassing people you don't know? if you don't, then i'd be very glad to teach you about it."
riddle is... someone who would glare at the stranger's back once they leave the scene. even if they're far enough already, riddle would not move at all. at least, not until you called out to him. the first thing he would do is to ask if you're okay, then he'll make sure that you are not lying by checking you from head-to-toe.
"good, they didn't injure you at all. next time, please just... run to me, if anyone is making you uncomfortable. e-ehem, i do trust you to handle it yourself, of course. i just think that, as your partner, i should be able to protect you too." lies, btw. he just wants to look cool in front of you. /hj

TREY CLOVER
trey is... someone who would just laugh it off if a stranger flirts with you. he's patient, he isn't the type of someone to immediately interrupt your conversation with someone else just because he wants to. no, he's not like that. trey just stays still and watch, as if this is some tv show and not his actual partner being picked up right in front of him.
trey is... someone who's not stupid. obviously, all of the things i told you about are lies. trey is very much annoyed to the point the corner of his eyes twitches. he couldn't help but make a little '😒' expression at the stranger. he's just not sure how to approach the guy without being rude about it. because, what if he's just overthinking things?
trey is... someone who finally made up his mind by walking carefully to you and the stranger. he smiled at them politely, told them that you're taken politely. but it seems like the stranger just refused to listen. that is when the atmosphere around the three of you changed and trey's face immediately went from '😄' to '😠' (well, not really...) "im sorry, but was i not being clear enough? we are dating, so please refrain from talking to them." after a few staring contest, the stranger finally said, 'whatever', and just left the two of you alone. trey 1, stranger 0!!
"sorry if i was being a little dramatic there... i was just scared they'd hurt you or something. they didn't right? ...that's great to know. you can rely on me if someone ever does that again, okay?"

CATER DIAMOND
cater is... someone who would approach you and the stranger happily, as if he was friends with the latter. "yo! what's this? you guys are hanging out without me?~ so cruel. i'm literally feeling so left out right now." he sighed before he wrapped his arm around the stranger's shoulder. he also must accidentally gripped the said stranger's shoulder a little too hard. with a smile. is he a maniac?
cater is... someone who would change the topic from whatever the hell that stranger was trying to do, to a cute little story about your and his date a few days ago. he'd also purposefully open his gallery and shove the pictures into the stranger's face. saying something, "see? the cafe was cute, wasn't it?~ i reaally enjoyed going there with name. when will you go with them? oh, yeah, i forgot.. they're my partner!"
cater is... someone who would change his expression drastically once the stranger leaves. though when you noticed the moment his smile faltered, he immediately masked it with another smile, trying to convince you that he's okay. does not work, though. now he's complaining about the stranger more than you.
"ugh, that guy was so annoying! how can you keep up with them in that convo? you must use some type of an asshole translator, right? 'cuz there's no way you could answer all that guy's ridiculous pick up lines..."

ACE TRAPPOLA
ace is... must i explain? he's someone who is loud. as hell. if he ever see someone trying to flirt with you, do you think he'll stay silent? hell nah. if you think he will, then you fail this class! he immediately approaches you and the stranger, asking them, "what're you doing with my partner? need something?"
ace is... someone who will talk over the stranger when they try to explain themself. "oh, i-i was just—" "man, stop it with the BS. just say that you wanted to steal 'em from me or something. well, guess what? mr. ace trappola isn't gonna let you off the hook just like that!" you have to shut him up yourself to stop him from embarrassing the two of you. and, with all your strength, you managed to drag him (somewhat) far away. well at least the stranger isn't visible from here, right? (they ran away)
ace is... someone who would get quiet the moment it's just the two of you. if you asked him what's wrong, he'd stare at you like '🙁', then he'd avert his gaze somewhere else. i feel like he was actually hurt to see a stranger so boldly flirting with you in front of him, as if he doesn't exist at all. because under all that bravado, he's still a teenager, after all.
"hey, you won't leave me for that shrimp, right? i mean, obviously. i'm like, waaay better than they could ever be. right?"

DEUCE SPADE
deuce is... oh, my sweet, sweet baby. 💔 i feel like he'd just stare, not processing what's going on in front of him. he just thought, 'oh, name is talking to someone. okay. they look really great today, too. i should come say hi to them.' and then, when he hears what comes out of the stranger's mouth.. oh, wow. deuce is not staying silent, alright.
deuce is... someone who would approach the two of you with slightly shaky hands. he would politely ask if the stranger wants something for you, and that he'd be happy to help! though when they looked at him in disgust, saying something like, "what do i want? i'm trynna pick 'em up, obviously." that is the moment where deuce spade turns into a military tank out of anger.
deuce is... someone who would unconsciously slip into violent mode. he would grab the stranger's collar and glare at him, as if trying to say, "they're mine, please back off" aggressively. which succeed, actually... the stranger ran with their tail between their legs. and that is when deuce turns to you, looking apologetic and disappointed with himself.
"sorry, it was because i couldn't step up that they bothered you like that... i should try to be more scary so that no one else approach you, okay? ...i don't have to? no, no! i'm gonna do it. i will do it!"

naomi-nana. do NOT repost, do not use (with or without permission), do not recommend or talk about my works outside of tumblr.
#nao.writes#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst heartslabyul#heartslabyul x reader#twst fic#twst imagines#riddle rosehearts#riddle x reader#trey clover#trey x reader#cater diamond#cater x reader#deuce spade#deuce x reader#ace trappola#ace x reader
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This may be a silly question… but I’m an artist trying to learn backgrounds. I’ve studied perspective until my hands fell off, but I don’t know how to choose an angle or not make things look wonky. I’ve tried asking a lot of artists, but I’m hoping to hear more than “just draw backgrounds”, because I have been, but I’m not improving.
Do you have any tips on how to practice?
The anonymous ask is much more recent but it reminded me of another ask from @cerealssoggies i forgot to answer thats, OOF... gotten old. Sorry about that. I'll answer your ask more directly at the end of this.
I'll talk about the perspective ask first. Anon... I'll answer your question as best as I can!
I think what makes perspective tricky is the beginning, when you're using perspective lines and grids and such to map out the picture. Because the actual technique of 2 point perspective isn't hard or complicated, it's getting the scene to look the way it does in your head thats tricky. I'm talking about the metaphorical "camera" location, angle, and... idk, focal length? If I'm using that phrase correctly.
So you can draw something like a simple square bedroom, and by the time you're done placing your horizon line, vanishing point, and perspective lines, and actually start drawing, you realize it doesn't look like how it does in your head. And from there, it's hard or nearly impossible to move things around to look like your vision, so you'll be tweaking each thing individually: uhh, let's move the horizon line down, the left vanishing point further? The right one closer? Both further? Huh??? And it's frustrating.
I've found, if you're drawing an environment from your imagination, the best way to start is to draw an teeeeny tiny thumbnail sketch. The smaller the better. Not just environments, but any drawing idea is easier to map out when it's smaller. Your brain can latch onto the visual as a whole when it's all tiny on a piece of paper.
Drawing my current blog header, the one of ford's research tent, I had a similar pickle. I knew exactly where I wanted the camera to be, in the corner of the tent, and I knew I wanted the camera to be more wide, so you could see most of his tent while keeping the feeling that it's small. I started digitally with perspective lines and quickly got frustrated. SO - I took to my sketchbook and thought reeeeeally hard about what it looked like in my head, and tried mapping it out in a tiny tiny thumbnail. Here's what that looked like:
This was closer to what I wanted than what I first had on my computer. I knew from there that I wanted the furniture items to be closer together and the camera higher (you can see my scribble writing saying this), so I scanned my thumbnail, and drew on top of it to get closer to the vision. Then, from there, I was able to add a proper perspective grid based on what I had already drawn.
THEN you can finally get down to the fun part - actually populating your room with furniture and details. I put this sketch on paper and did most of the real drawing traditionally:
In summary: instead of jumping straight into perspective theory, thumbnail the idea as rough as you can. Then base the angles of the perspective lines on your thumbnail.
But.... even still, I don't have the strongest ability to picture things mentally, and not everyone is gonna be able to do that (although it is a good muscle to exercise.) Sort of a segue into the second ask - those backgrounds of dibs car? I straight up traced over pictures I took of my car. I'm not the biggest advocate for tracing, it does kind of feel like cheating, BUT for the purposes of this animation? There's no point in getting on a high horse. I needed to draw his car like 10 times and there was no reason to torture myself. I did photoshop some of the photos before I drew over them because the focal length made the car look bigger than I wanted it to? And a lot of it was guessing what the car looked like behind the front seats, etc.
But this does remind me of an exercise I did in school for an illustration mentorship class. The mentor for one unit was a set designer working for Netflix. She was given photos of a room that a scene would be shot in, and she drew the set on top of it: like furniture, decorations, etc. So my assignment was to choose a stock photo, and do some world building concept art based on the photo. From the photo, you can figure out the perspective by identifying lines/angles that theoretically lead to a vanishing point. You need at least two lines, and you extend them really far and see where they cross. Where they meet is a vanishing point. Find two vanishing points and they are level with the horizon line. Then use the perspective dots you just found to draw furniture, items, and you can even get creative and change the shape/height/size of the rooms/buildings/etc, while still using the same perspective.
If an image from the internet feels too much like cheating (it SHOULDN'T, you'll only learn from it and your drawing won't look anything like the image by the time you're done), you can always take your own photos. This technique is honestly what made me enjoy drawing backgrounds in the first place. It made it fun! And drawing should be fun.
I still do this sort of thing today. Here's the reference picture I had my sister take of me for my Fairy godmother illustration. (This is from a couple years ago.) I drew on top of it in photoshop to get my best guess as to the lines and angles. I didn't trace this one, but I did use it very heavily for reference!


So I guess... to summarize both techniques, don't jump right into perspective. Best way to start, that's fun and not wildly frustrating, is to use a photo. If your vision is hyper specific, start from a tiny thumbnail and work your way up. Then the fun part!! Populating the scene with furniture and items and fun little details.
To answer @cerealssoggies question more directly: omg, thank you?? :O💞 I'm always so wowed when people talk about my prints and where they put them. I'm really glad you like the fairy godmother one! My mom also has one hung up in her room lol!
My advice on the design front isn't as specific, because that always felt like the easy part. Once you have the room or whatever mapped out, it's just about drawing all the Stuff. Which for me usually means getting in the head of the character and asking myself what sort of things they'd have around themselves and their environment. And obviously if the setting isn't a characters room/personal environment like the previous three examples, then you'd just have to think about what the environments purpose is, and what sort of stuff would be there. When I'm thinking about a background before I draw it, I'll ask myself what items or features it will have. For the ford tent, I made a list of all the stuff I thought he might have in there (I googled winter camping trip packing lists, as well as science-y tools and gadgets). For dibs car, I asked people on tumblr for suggestions as to what I should put in there.
And look up references! Reference is always a good thing.
In real life, I'm a maximalist and a clutterbug. This bleeds into my drawings - I like it when an environment feels full and lived in.

Here's my bedroom lol.
WELL typing and compiling this took up a greater portion of my Friday but I really hope this was helpful to you and others!!
#ask#answered#anon#cerealssoggies#drawing tips#perspective#perspective drawing#drawing tutorial#background drawing#background art
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