#I'm literally studying this stuff
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Do yourself a favor and go read the entire fanfic work of @fanfoolishness
(In order: Under sun and shade, Blind Side, and Breathless (patching up is one of my fav too, I just had no cool sketch idea for it)
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#the bad batch fanart#tbb fanart#tbb fanfiction#dumping my “fanfic_doodles.clip” file here literally#sorry the style is messy#now I see them all Im like “ok it's all over the place zero/100 aesthetically pleasuring post”#hhhh its the thought that counts?#And tbh the point is just to convince you to read theses#because I'm like OBSSEEESSED with theses since you appeared in my notes#Every fic is gold#Me baiting my followers with pretty enough pictures to read fanfics#this being said I should really take the time to color properly my stuff#but I don't liiiiiiiiike it#there is tons of more talented artists if people want colored beautiful amazing art#me I can't really make my “”“spontaneous”“” “”“doodles”“” pretty without trying hard and at the end it's meh#They're so flat too#yesterday I was like “oh my scenes are becoming less flat I improved maybe”#Then I scrolled on my storyboard insta and was like#yeah sure no#I'm still faaaaaar away from the industry standards#I studied like at three arts school and I'm still bad at drawing TAT#why is my brain not working v_v#look brain I'm showing you nice pictures learn from them#brain: no Im gonna overfixate on this left hand here and only this#anyway
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Trying to figure out how to draw my favorite guy after SOMEONE (cough cough, @whataphantasia) got me obsessed with fnv
I like to imagine his face stretches horizontally when hes strained :]
#this is a dumb little sketch page and normally i dont post stuff where#i just traced over yhe og image bc it's just to get a feel for the details#but personally I'm obsessed with this guy and would adore literally any art of this guy#so for anyone else like that im doing this for YOU! 🫵#kazkat draws n stuff#digital art#sketch#art study#fallout new vegas#fallout nv#fonv#yes man#fallout yes man#yes man fnv#yes man fallout
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In my Zeus bag today so I'm just gonna put it out there that exactly none of the great Ancient Greek warrior-heroes stayed loyal and faithful and completely monogamous and yet none of them have their greatness questioned nor do we question why they had the cultural prominence that they did and still do.
Jason, the brilliant leader of the Argo, got cold feet when it came to Medea - already put off by some of her magic and then exiled from his birthland because of her political ploys, he took Creusa to bed and fully intended on marrying her despite not properly dissolving things with Medea.
Theseus was a fierce warrior and an incredibly talented king but he had a horrible temper and was almost fatally weak to women. This is the man who got imprisoned in the Underworld for trying to get a friend laid, the man who started the whole Attic War because he couldn't keep his legs closed.
And we cannot at all forget Heracles for whom a not inconsiderable amount of his joy in life was loving people then losing the people around him that he loved. Wives, children, serving boys, mentors, Heracles had a list of lovers - male and female - long enough to rival some gods and even after completing his labours and coming down to the end of his life, he did not have one wife but three.
And y'know what, just because he's a cultural darling, I'll put Achilles up here too because that man was a Theseus type where he was fantastic at the thing he was born to do (that is, fight whereas Theseus' was to rule) but that was not enough to eclipse his horrid temper and his weakness to young pretty things. This is the man that killed two of Apollo's sons because they wouldn't let him hit - Tenes because he refused to let Achilles have his sister and Troilus who refused Achilles so vehemently that he ran into Apollo's temple to avoid him and still couldn't escape.
All four of these men are still celebrated as great heroes and men. All four of these men are given the dignity of nuance, of having their flaws treated as just that, flaws which enrich their character and can be used to discuss the wider cultural point of what truly makes a hero heroic. All four of these men still have their legacies respected.
Why can that same mindset not be applied to Zeus? Zeus, who was a warrior-king raised in seclusion apart from his family. Zeus who must have learned to embrace the violence of thunder for every time he cried as a babe, the Corybantes would bang their shields to hide the sound. Zeus learned to be great because being good would not see the universe's affairs in its order.
The wonderful thing about sympathy is that we never run out of it. There's no rule stopping us from being sympathetic to multiple plights at once, there's no law that necessitate things always exist on the good-evil binary. Yes, Zeus sentenced Prometheus to sufferation in Tartarus for what (to us) seems like a cruel reason. Prometheus only wanted to help humans! But when you think about Prometheus' actions from a king's perspective, the narrative is completely different: Prometheus stole divine knowledge and gifted it to humans after Zeus explicitly told him not to. And this was after Prometheus cheated all the gods out of a huge portion of wealth by having humans keep the best part of a sacrifice's meat while the gods must delight themselves with bones, fat and skin. Yes, Zeus gave Persephone away to Hades without consulting Demeter but what king consults a woman who is not his wife about the arrangement of his daughter's marriage to another king? Yes, Zeus breaks the marriage vows he set with Hera despite his love of her but what is the Master of Fate if not its staunchest slave?
The nuance is there. Even in his most bizarre actions, the nuance and logic and reason is there. The Ancient Greeks weren't a daft people, they worshipped Zeus as their primary god for a reason and they did not associate him with half the vices modern audiences take issue with. Zeus was a father, a visitor, a protector, a fair judge of character, a guide for the lost, the arbiter of revenge for those that had been wronged, a pillar of strength for those who needed it and a shield to protect those who made their home among the biting snakes. His children were reflections of him, extensions of his will who acted both as his mercy and as his retribution, his brothers and sisters deferred to him because he was wise as well as powerful. Zeus didn't become king by accident and it is a damn shame he does not get more respect.
#ginger rambles#ginger chats about greek myths#greek mythology#It's Zeus Apologist day actually#For the record Jason is my personal favourite of these guys#The argonauts are extremely underrated for literally no reason#And Jason's wit and sheer ability to adapt along with his piousness are traits that are so far away from what usually gets highlighted#with the typical Greek warrior-hero that I've just never stopped being captivated by him#Conversely I still do not understand what people see in Achilles#I respect him and his legacy I respect the importance of his tale and his cultural importance I promise I do#However I personally can't stand the guy LMAO#How do you get warned twice TWICE both by your mother and by Athena herself that going after Apollo's children is a bad idea#And still have the audacity to be mad and surprised when Apollo is gunning for Specifically You during the war you're bringing to His City#That You Specifically and Exclusively had a choice in avoiding#ACHILLES COULD'VE JUST SAID NO#I know that's not the point however so many other members of the Greek camp were simply casualties of Fate in every conceivable way man#Achilles looked at every terrible choice he could possibly make said “Well I'm gonna die anyway 🤷🏽” and proceeded to make the choice#so hard that he angered god#That's y'all's man right there#I left out Perseus because truthfully I don't actually know much about him#I haven't studied him even a fraction as much as I've studied some of the other big culture heroes and none of this is cited so i don't wan#to talk about stuff I don't know 100%#Anyway justice for Zeus fr#Gimme something give me literally anything other than the nonsense we usually get for him#This goes for Hera too btw#Both the king and queen of the skies are done TERRIBLY by wider greek myth audiences and it's genuinely disheartening to see#If y'all could make excuses for Achilles to forgive his flaws y'all can do it for them#They have a lot more to sympathise with I'll tell you that#(that is a completely biased statement; you are completely free and encouraged to enjoy whichever figures spark joy)#zeus
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Basim Across Timelines: Mirage vs Valhalla vs Modern 🔎 (open to discussion)



Mirage Basim
Age & Experience: Young, passionate, eager, impulsive. Still becoming/growing.
Motivation: Wants to belong. Seeks meaning, justice, purpose and identity.
Personality: Passionate, emotional, idealistic, curious, impulsive, quietly hopeful.
Emotional Depth: Wears his heart quietly on his sleeve. Emotions close to the surface, not fully processed.
Connection to Loki: Hints and dreams, fragmented visions, haunted but unaware.
How he loves: Awkward, shy, desperate and starved for affection he doesn’t believe he deserves, clumsy but sincere.
Fears: Being left behind, being “nothing”, being insignificant, forgotten, alone or rejected.
Trust: Hesitant but possible, given cautiously, broken easily.
Biggest Conflict: His own identity, Who is he really? vs the role he’s expected to play. (این بیتی؟ من انا؟/where’s my home? Who am I?)
Symbolic Role: The seeker of truth, searching for his path.
Tone & Dialogue: Curious, emotional, sometimes uncertain. Often asks questions to understand.
Intent & Purpose: Seeking identity, meaning and justice. Driven by a need to belong.
Skills: Still learning, excellent at stealth, parkour, quick thinking.
Position in the Hidden Ones: New recruit of the Hidden Ones. Initiate. Apprentice.
Human Relationships: Craves connection, specially with his Mentor and friends. Builds bonds slowly but genuinely.
Worldview: Idealistic with a tinge of doubt and guilt. Believes change is possible.
Valhalla & Modern Basim are just down below: ⬇️
Valhalla Basim
Age & Experience: Older, mature, calculating, forged by betrayal and hardened by pain. Already became.
Motivation: Wants revenge. Seeks closure, maybe even chaos. Justice warped by pain.
Personality: Cold, intense, calculating and sharp. Logic over sentiment.
Emotional Depth: Burying emotions under layers of control. Deep emotions buried under iron discipline.
Connection to Loki: Fully awakened. Wears the burden of duality. The voice inside has a name.
How he loves: Silent, fierce , protective, his love is strategy and instinct. Quiet but he overprotects more than he speaks.
Fears: Losing control and becoming someone he can’t come back from. Losing himself to revenge or to Loki.
Trust: Rare. Earned at great cost and once earned, unshakable and defended with fire.
Biggest Conflict: The weight of what he knows and what he’s become. Who he is vs what he’s become.
Symbolic Role: The ghost in the machine. Watching. Waiting. Pulling strings. Loki guiding him. (Basim and Loki aren’t the same. Two different individuals, okay?)
Tone & Dialogue: Calm, sharp, layered with hidden meaning. Speaks less but every word is loaded.
Intent & Purpose: Seeking revenge, truth and cosmic justice. Purpose has hardened into resolve.
Skills: Master of deception, combat, stealth and manipulation. Deadly and precise.
Position in the Hidden Ones: Mentor of the Hidden Ones on an exile. Veteran, rogue. Has distanced himself from the hidden ones. Independent.
Human Relationships: Keeps people at a distance. Loyalty is rare but unbreakable when earned.
Worldview: Cynical. Sees the world as a system to be manipulated not mended.
Modern Basim
Age & Experience: Ancient soul in a modern shell. Centuries of knowledge and scars.
Motivation: Balance, manipulation. Preparing for what’s to come.
Personality: Controlled, detached, as always ten steps ahead.
Emotional Depth: Emotions turned into strategy, still present but weaponized.
Connection to Loki: Symbiosis or struggle? Hard to say. The line is blurred and he may no longer care. Have made peace with the duality inside. Basim seems to be in control of the body. Still, Loki’s motivations, rage and past relationships are clearly steering many of Basim’s modern day actions.
How he loves: Purposeful and intense. Love becomes survival —ruthless but real.
Fears: Losing control or worse; losing humanity.
Trust: Practically nonexistent at this point but if given, it means everything.
Biggest Conflict: Who he serves vs who he used to be and whether he still cares.
Symbolic Role: The keeper of truth and its consequences. The judge and holder of knowledge. (I’m not sure if Modern Basim has completely handed over control to Loki, if they still coexist somehow or if Loki is partly gone.)
Tone & Dialogue: Measured, deliberate, almost surgical. Rarely speaks more than necessary.
Intent & Purpose: Managing outcomes. Balancing agendas. Driven by foresight more than feeling.
Skills: Ancient assassin with modern tech expertise. Efficient and unpredictable.
Position in the Hidden Ones: Cooperates with William Miles. Operates independently. Wields knowledge like a weapon.
Human Relationships: Detached. Relationships are either tools or vulnerabilities. (rare exceptions may exist)
Worldview: Coldly realistic, burdened by knowledge and duality. The world is cruel but not without design.
#a multi perspective character study#Basim#ac basim#basim ibn ishaq#anyone feel free to add or change stuff if you want#ac mirage#ac valhalla#assassin’s creed#l've had this idea in my head for a while and finally decided to write it down these past few days#I'll probably post it in a day or two but I just needed to write this down first so I can build on it#Remember when I said I was working on a four part fanfic?#Like two parts for Loki and two for Basim#now I'm thinking of making it eight parts instead#so I can break down Basim's arc into three phases and explore him more properly#any thoughts?#Alsoooo I literally wrote this during a war Imao#Real Middle Eastern energy just like Basim 😌#my writing
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I'll bite and talk about something that doesn't get enough spotlight in general, which are Demetri's and Eli's family life. So obviously several fic authors have their own twists and flavors to this, but if I may sell you something for a sec.
So far into the series, what we've got are these facts:
Demetri's Mom is the only family member to be mentioned in the show.
Eli's parents were mentioned a couple of times.
That should be enough context to deduce two things:
Demetri could be an only child to a single mother, and;
Eli's parents involve themselves in the stuff that he does — including karate, who knows — though they tend to be tone deaf with his actual needs.
There's strong evidence to why the boys act the way they act (brain functions notwithstanding, but this isn't the post for that), which is why I think these deductions make sense. How their hypothetical upbringing is part and parcel to how characters behave in this series. Of course societal influence comes in second because obviously you've got a show that encourages learning karate as defense against bullies, but this show is also about generational chains and traumas! So why wouldn't their home life inform the way it informs the LaRusso's, Lawrence's, and Nichols'? But I digress.

In the span of the entire series, I've held onto this headcanon that Demetri's neuroticism and ability to anticipate his actions carefully stem from a household that needs these systems in place, much more for someone who likes to be on top of things. Since he's just a student, the only authoritative figure who can make executive decisions... is his mom. Add to the fact that she may be a working mom, so when Demetri tells Daniel about certain restrictions in learning karate, what could have made her decide to just write a letter instead vs. taking the time out to go with his son herself? I know I know it's narrative writing but like do you seeeee where I'm at here

Eli's family life is by far gave us early indications of his dynamic with his mother — but not so a father — in earlier seasons. It's possible that his mom is a stay-at-home one, but if I were to push the bounds of this box even further, I'd even speculate that she's retired early if it meant that Eli's dad is the one making most of the living. Like of course they'd get mad at Hawk for getting a tattoo at his age, I think any parent would! But the way he tells Aisha to exclude him from her stories tells us that there's not a lot that his parents know about the life he lives as Hawk. At this point we all know the kind of effort it takes to successfully carry it out because he has to go home every night. It's either he a) puts in a lot of effort into concealing this identity once he gets home, or b) his parents are rarely ever home, which again, feeds into another assumption that maybe Mrs. Moskowitz works certain hours.
All we know is they're never around a whole lot for these boys, which is sad! and also again, very Indicative of their classification as awkward nerds pre- and early karate. When I read along certain fics that consider and include how the rest of their characters besides the found families they've formed, it gives much more depth and potency to writing them, their flaws, and how they think.
For all we know, Mrs. Alexopoulos could be a lesbian making fun of her son for not slinging pussy like she does being rizzless unlike her, but don't let me explain that when we have @demetriandelibinaryboyfriends!
#binary boyfriends#demetri alexopoulos#eli moskowitz#cobra kai#this isn't so much an analysis as it is an obvious statement to include/consider when writing them with their home lives as factors#sure the writing in the show isn't top caliber#but to /some/ credit they've managed to give us literally bits and pieces of it before letting the boys set sail in a sea of violent waters#so let's just make do!#i need more character studies that deal with their folks. mentions of how their home life is. their dynamics.#bunny_bones_studio if you somehow happen to have a tumblr now and are reading this#this one also goes out to you because your fic about demetri's letters is so well-written (Just Wanted To Let You Know)#also highly recommend @baldwinboy5ive's fic Persistence of Vision#because the mention of either of their parents there is so well-utilized as a literary device for one Very Heartwarming segment to the fic#and again: different authors interpret this differently but i'm a bit tired of seeing similar patterns in establishing their home lives#when there's a lot we can make do with what we have and then spitball from there#i'm in the process of digging and spelunking through the archive these days! all the other great stuff is hidden in those pages!!!!
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What the fuck is my problem. Why did I pick these up. Better question: why did I buy them. They're fuzzy socks. It's. It's almost June.
#i fear my brain turns off immediately when i see canucks branded stuff#i also saw these canucks branded carseat headrest covers and had to literally hold myself back from getting them#mind you i do not yet have my driver's license#capitalism is a disease and i'm ill 💔💔#canucks brainrot needs to be studied i think#i also fully left that shrinkie paper that i'm holding there on the right at the self checkout so.#that's awesome.#it was only a dollar fifty but now i feel stupid(er than normal)#and also the socks show up as “men's socks” on the receipt. and. i think thats dumb too while we're at it#canucks
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what if I'm just not trying hard enough though. what if I'm just being lazy. maybe I just need to apply myself properly
#like i didn't even try last week#and i know this is stupid shit to say because if any of my friends were saying this while literally [redacted]#i would tell them they're being so stupid#but also i did make that weekly plan for studying and i just did nothing and i didn't do the one thing i need to do during the semester#and like. it feels like I'm always doing nothing and i could do more#except when i do it's terrible#and i can't explain it. i ought to talk to people but I can't explain it#because I can't say why I can't do things. i just can't#i feel like i should do one week of 100 percent effort#and if that doesn't work I get to. I don't know. give up on studying for a while#or actually admit to shit#jae says stuff
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Sylus reclaiming Little Bomb as a teasing nickname...
#i cant stop thinking about the n109 zone lol#it used to slightly bother me that we never see MC struggle with the idea of killing or feel burdened by it#bc even Caleb seems to see it as a burden hes taken on to protect MC and make sure MC doesnt have to be the monster#but MC just thrives naturally and adapts to criminal activity with Sylus#she very easily early on promises to keep anything he shares with her a secret and feels entitled to being essentially his partner#and listen she shoots so much with him and sure self defense but lets be real Sylus goes hunting for these guys and MC is down to support#idk its almost more charming for her to not be burdened by it. like a flaw that shows shes not maybe human by the definition of your average#Linkon citizen lol. even the researchers didnt know if she should be treated as a person or an object/resource#Dimitris life purpose at the end was to try to essentially banish MC back out into the void of space#anyway. Sylus is so gentle with MC while also not sheltering her. when he said theyre the same he means he believes that literally#if Sylus is a monster then so is MC. and thats okay. He wants her to just do and be whatever she wants and he'll adapt to it for her#he is STILL feeding her soul 100000% altho i guess for Sylus its like: OUR SOUL.#mc cosmic horror am I human existential drama vibes#its interesting to me now that MC isnt struggling with the weight of consequence for killing or breaking laws#mcs desires come first to her#and ofc shes still a hunter who wants to save people#but her motivation was power and security. she never wanted to be prey again.#and Sylus in main story seems to be the foundation of her power and harnessing it story wise#im curious where theyll go with MCs evol#personal posting#love and deepspace spoilers#mostly because im a tag ranter im not even done with the zayne stuff yet#i assume next we'll push into more Xav and Raf?? hoping for it Im dying for connections to Ever being aware and studying other stuff#I did have to reframe my perspective on the timeline a few times here... i assumed stuff in some of the cards had already happening along#the main story#but the vibes are off for a lot of it Main Story Sylus and MC have not done nightly rendezvous yet for sure?#good for caleb lol 😅#just when I was starting to accept I maybe felt Caleb was better for MC this life they hit with more lore#and now im back on endgame Sylus sorry Caleb bb I'll still be invested in your story and content#I'm glad i went through the main story again before I played the new stuff
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✧ The Ardal stars ✧
#artists on tumblr#art#illustration#digital art#digital drawing#dnd#dungeons and dragons#homebrew#original art#my art#my ocs#Setting: Heim#I drew these a couple of years ago now i think#but since i'm drawing stuff for this setting again i'm reuploading with updated information cause the last one is outdated#I will say right off the bat however#If you compare my designs to already existing IPs i will block you on sight#the last time i posted these they got compared to a piece of media i really dislike#and that comment alone made me fall out of love with this setting for almost two years#so please. do not. it's rude and unnecessary#These are the artefacts my setting and its story is largely centered around#Tethry is credited with creating them (Even though he didn't)#They were gifted by Tethry to each of the largest cities in the world to serve as power generators supplying arcane power to the whole city#immediately pushing the four sister cities into prosperity and progress. leaving literally everyone else in the dust#which caused some understandable tension between countries that already had a bit of a strained relationship to begin with#There is SO MUCH to these little trinkets and their link to Tethry and how finding them essentially fucked up his whole entire life#You'd think becoming the world's most renowned arcanist would be the best thing that ever happened to an aspiring caster#but to some poor dude just trying to study arcane language. stumbling across the magical equivalent of the demon core#was very much not on his wishlist#especially not dealing with the consequences of trying to make sure no one actually realises how nasty they have the potential to be#which. someone inevitably does
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Noting that I went to a catholic high school in the midwestern US, I would say that between 30-40% of my classmates followed a life path similar to the following (so not even half, but still a significant amount):
1) Age 18-21: start dating someone in uni
2) Age 22/23: get a job shortly after graduation (or have one already organized, probably from a summer internship while in uni)
3) Age 22-24: get engaged to your uni bf/gf within a year of graduating, once you both have jobs basically
4) Age 23-26: wedding within a year or two of getting engaged, also buy a house if you have that kind of money lol
5) 9 months to 1 year after wedding (so 24-26 generally): baby!
I think it's important to note that this culture is able to continue because many college-educated young USAmericans are able to get a decent job very soon after graduating, which speeds up the rest of the process quite a bit. For people who are not able to get a job quickly, or who choose to do further studies, add on a few years. (And for people who don't go to uni, subtract a few!)
yeah i was gonna say, the only thing i envy of that is the getting a job so early and easy lol. i think that's also the main difference or why people aren't married so early here. in my experience (note that i went to a private upper class school so almost everyone went to university and pretty much everyone is employed right now except me lol)
1) 18-23. uni. a bunch of them were dating before uni, others during, some after, you know how it goes. and also a lot of them didn't date (like me).
2) 23-25. finishing uni, doing a master's degree, and or living abroad (usually to work).
3) 25-26. come back to spain and work here, or finished studying and got a job. they start dating seriously.
4) 26-28. if they've been dating for a while, engagement. if not, they continue the grind. if they live abroad especially which is honestly more than half of my circle rn they won't want to get engaged until they come back or decide to stay in the other country (normally their partner is from there).
5) 28-30. this is the future for me so i'm just speculating, but here is marriage + baby for those who can afford it. keep in mind most of us this age are still living with our parents so. that's another thing to have in mind.
more or less that's the idea here. you first want to have a stable job, then a stable house, and then you can start thinking about proposing and weddings and kids. and that doesn't happen soon.
#ask#thanks for the comparision!!!! i think it's a very good indicator of how life works in the USA :) i knew that stuff is done earlier and tha#people tend to have jobs earlier and stuff but seeing it like this made everything much more clear#just as an example in my high school friend group (we are all 26-27)#one friend lived in germany for like 5 years working there after uni. got back to spain last year. started living together with her bf#of like 6-7 years??? (they've been together since forever lol) earlier this year#and now that she's got a stable job and a place to stay has been starting to talk about marriage#another one has been living in the netherlands for the past 7 years first to study there and now to work#also his gf is dutch so. he'll probably stay there#his gf is still studying medicine so i imagine until she finishes they won't even think about marriage#also they are only gonna live together starting this june so that's that lol#then there's this other friend who took longer finishing her bachelor's and master's degree and started working full-time this year#while still having to finish her master's dissertation#she does have a bf (they have been together for 2 years i think?) but she literally doesn't have even time to think about marriage lol#let alone living together with him she lives with her parents#and finally my best friend is doing a master's degree and looking for jobs in the interim. no luck for now but hopefully he'll get one afte#the master which is quite specialized (he's a computer engineering btw. if he can't find a job imagine how fucked the job market is)#and he doesn't even have a gf nor plans to i think? he's focused on getting a job first#and people i know that aren't in this friend group that i talk to from time to time are in pretty similar situations#the ones who lived with their partners are notable outliers#and there's like. 2 people (that i'm aware of) from my high school that married? again they're the exception#so yeah
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I'm currently unsure whether I should be happy or stressed about the fact that there are only like 5 more weeks until the end of the semester - on one hand the summer holidays can't arrive fast enough so I can rest and have free time again but on the other hand there's still so much to finish within that time frame and ugh I'm just tired😵💫
At least today (or more like yesterday by the time I post this) I had a fun day, I went to a wildlife park with friends (a trip we've had planned since a couple weeks already), I'm sure I haven't been to the place in like a decade but it was really fun! I didn't think to take a lot of pictures of the animals, but here's a plush trout I got at the souvenir shop🐟

#idk why but I've somehow always had a weak spot for fish and other aquatic animal plushies in particular. they're just cute#also no joke it always makes me happy whenever I remember that as an adult™ I have the power just buy plushies for myself if I want to#even when my mum would've deemed them to expensive (which wasn't the case here this fella was like 10€ but like in general)#I dunno what this post is actually but I thought I could sometimes just talk about random things from my life#I don't have the energy for much else right now tbh. and it's my blog so I don't have to stick to a theme or just specific types of posts#I used to do this type of stuff more on instagram stories actually but somehow haven't really been feeling it the past months#better gonna go to sleep now though I'm just awake bc I'm stressing about an exam I have on tuesday#though I better should be rested tomorrow so I can use the remaining time to study for it#I'm just annoyed about it bc 1. the topic is company management which isn't something I'm particularly interested in#and 2. the exam setup is hella stupid. it's an online multiple choice test (which is fine) but you only have one try to answer each questio#and can't go back afterwards to recheck or maybe change your answers again#which just pisses me off because it's so damn stupid. like in literally every other exam situation the teachers encourage you to -#read through your answers a final time before handing it in. or just generally answer the stuff you know for sure first and then -#return to the questions you struggle with. that's nothing new that's literally the regular process to do it for exams written on paper#from what I heard it might be though because the professor of that course is generally kind of an idiot when it comes to teaching#we don't even know him properly bc we had like 2 classes with him and everything else was self-study#but apparently we're gonna have to deal with him in the coming semesters as well. yay ._.#okay this got a bit longer than intended but I needed to complain for a bit#selnia talks
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i have a pattern for find out my fav fics in each fandom im in that consists in me looking for some quick fluffy shit to read bfr bed but being so tired i barely understand a thing forgeting about it for months then picking it to reread by pure accident just to transcend to the fucking skies over how good it actually is
#i'm not lying btw this happened to me like 4 times already#just experienced the pure bliss of a perfectly written zukka fic and i'll never be the same again#like DAMN what is wrong with me i pick the best stuff when im literally passing out#i was suposed to be studying but dang zukka got me again#like fuck it was so fucking funny i was wheezing the whole time#except when i wasnt cuz angst and shit#my brain was so delicious for forgetting about the ''plot twist'' (?) cuz it made it 10x better#but yea im not even going crazy over it or whatever#btw if anyone cares im talking abt 'wooing the water tribe' by lenaballena#atla#fic rec#ao3#archive of our own#fanfiction#avatar the last airbender#zukka
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shout out to spones for helping me ace this test by mapping them onto the intimate relationships happening within our brains
#this + their influence on psychosomatic illness was not clicking until i was like hm. them.#since I'm cringe posting anyway had to share this too#idk i know this seems obvious it's just so crazy to me - that the influence of emotions is literally a structural thing#with a reason and an effect beyond some like higher purpose or existential thing#like it's existential in the sense that they literally are part of the system that helps us exist.#all stuff I've studied in psychology in philosophy but still feels different to see it literally mapped out#do i even tag this with them or is that excessive trek brainrot
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ay hate it here
#over 2 decades unmedicated to now thinking my unmedicated ass is unbearable#hehehehe#no fr#i can be unmedicated in a very natural setting (like doing manual tasks/farm tasks/in nature)#but don't ask me to deal w productivity and work and study and city and tasks and chores and capitalism and urban stuff unmedicated#idk how i lived before i'm a literal mess dlfkjdjlgfd#anyways gotta go to the drug store to fix that#but guess what?????? it involves all those tasks i need medication to deal w :))))))
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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