#I'm wondering what else i can do to it...

[jedusaur]

I wonder sometimes whether this kind of thing would happen to me if I was going to cons these days. it feels so egotistical to even think about it that way, but like... sometimes I comment on someone else's fic and they reply all "oh my god that means so much coming from you I admire you so much" and idk how the fuck to react to that, but if my encouragement can make a difference for some folks I feel like I should be conscious of that rather than dismissing it for the sake of being modest or whatever? I'm not familiar with the above person's fic, but I glanced at their AO3 and we're certainly in the same ballpark stats-wise, so. *hands*

I did get approached a few times in the early 2010s by people who liked my fic, but I don't think anyone has ever been too intimidated to speak to me, or if they did they never messaged me to tell me so. but that was over a decade ago when I was writing in different fandoms, and the last few years there's been a big uptick in people online acting like I'm some kind of celebrity, so who knows? I mean I don't think those exact experiences would happen to me, because I am not a "wait around for people to invite me to join their reindeer games" kind of person at cons, I'm a "cannonball into the middle of the nearest reindeer game" person or, if there is no existing reindeer game that appeals, a "start my own reindeer game and holler greetings at passersby until I've rounded up enough of them to play it" kind of person. like, eeeeveryone at Bitchin' Party 2014 either came to the guerrilla mermaid panel in the hotel hot tub or heard about it later and bemoaned missing the party. but I've been told that this behavior can also be intimidating sometimes, so... I do wonder what fan cons will be like for me if it's ever safe to go to them again.

I'm not gonna guilt-trip anyone, though! if I got a message after a con from someone saying they were too shy to talk to me but my fics meant a lot to them, that would be just as meaningful to me as if they'd walked up to me in person, and it's also okay if folks don't feel comfortable talking to me at all. never ever wanna make anyone feel bad for lurking, lurkers play a key role in the fannish ecosystem and I respect them just as much as anyone else <3

nothing scarier than being a fan of a fic and then becoming mutuals with the author. like hi shakespeare. big fan of your fake dating au

[menlove]

Hello! I saw your post about how you deeply believe that John and Paul had sex frequently, and honestly I'm on the fence on whether or not I believe that they did. I was wondering if there were any particular reasons as to why you believe this or if it was just a feeling lol.

there's fsdfasdadf a lot To Me that convinces me but i'm not sure how solid it is so i'd say it's Mostly a feeling/vibe but i'll work through my reasoning under the cut (separated into The Vibes and then actual shit they've said/done that makes me go uh. hm.)

disclaimer: obviously i can't know if they fucked. at the end of the day it truly does not have any impact on my life if they did or not. this is also solely getting into whether or not they fucked, not the rest of the crazy shit they had going on bc that would genuinely take a 1000 page novel. i'm also not getting into proof about either one of them having gay sex bc if we take them both at face value that answer is a resounding "no" and this isn't about proving their queerness

i will say first of all we know for a fact they jerked off together & had sex in the same bed so i'm gonna go ahead and count that as sex bc it's 2025 and queer people have made leaps and bounds away from considering penetrative sex the only kind of sex that exists. but i don't think they would've considered either of those things sex. but in my view? that was sex. does also mean they've had sex with the other quarrymen though #happypride

vibes

first of for me is their personalities/circumstances. i mean it's obviously all very nuanced and i never knew them so there's aspects to their personalities that we obviously aren't privy to. but they were both very sexual people with incredibly loose sexual boundaries, neither of whom really ever had (or at least expressed) religious hangups around sex, and who were Both at the like forefront of the whole changing culture of the 60s to become freer, looser, less repressed. obviously them being free with heterosexual sex doesn't automatically equate to them having the same feelings about homosexual sex, but it's a factor in the way i think about it anyway.

we already know they were loose with sex with Each Other as well. there's ofc the beat the meatles thing (group wanking with the quarrymen/early beatles) but there's also the fact that they'd all have sex in the same tiny ass room in hamburg & the fact that john and paul allegedly had a foursome with a couple of girls whose pictures they took back in liverpool (on the same bed). again, that doesn't Necessarily translate to "yeah they'd have gay sex" but it just sets up that they weren't really prudish about sex and they weren't shy about having sex around/near each other. there's ALSO a different version of the story john told to pete floating around somewhere (can't find it rn so don't quote me on this) where in addition to everything else he mentions it (as in letting brian jerk him off) not being different than what he does with his friends. which does also implicate everyone Else, not just paul, but it's interesting.

i just do Not think that john would've had the self restraint to not make a move on paul if he wanted to. and from Well Everything, we can tell that he wanted to. john wasn't someone who had a lot of self control & i don't think his relationship to paul being "too important" or anything like that would've stopped him either. and i think if he'd made a move & paul shot him down, we would have never heard the end of it and there would've never been the beatles in the first place bc i don't think john would've taken it well at all. on paul's end, i can't see him turning john down either. if they were already jerking off together, potentially jerking each other off, having sex in the same bed, etc, i don't think it's a stretch to say he wouldn't have shoved john off for going further. and again, if he had, there would've been a more dramatic reaction. which means either john Never made a move, or he did & paul went with it.

ofc there's the whole india theory but i do not buy into that even remotely and i'm not getting into why again but tl;dr i just don't think it would be in character for Either of them to have this big dramatic rejection of john's feelings and for john to wait and simmer in it for 2 years before breaking up the band. i think if anything like that happened he would've lost his goddamn mind immediately and the band wouldn't have made it beyond like two more months lmao

i can however see paul making a move and john shooting it down due to His Issues, but i don't really see any time period where that would've potentially happened yk like there's not enough there to speculate on that one. but i can see it more than the opposite

they were also on so, so many drugs. you take two people with loose sexual boundaries and you put them on uppers/alcohol/weed/lsd/coke and i truly think it's more unlikely that they didn't ever fuck. i think most anyone who regularly gets drunk/high has at least one story about making out with/fucking someone they shouldn't. oftentimes when you can't remember shit.

there's also the severe lack of personal space between them & just the way they watch each other. ofc there's a severe lack of space between All the beatles, but it's glaringly obvious and embarrassing when they're all 4 in the same space and the blowjob brothers are over there ass to dick while everyone else has a respectable friend distance.

i won't put a photo/gif dump here i'm sure we've all seen them but this is the single one i have to add bc genuinely what is their problem:

and the way paul stops and then looks over at john after noticing he's watching his ass? they're as subtle as a brick to the head lmfao

tl;dr on the vibes: it's a if you give a mouse a cookie situation to me. if john was attracted to paul (he was), he would've made a move -> if john made a move on paul, paul would've said yes -> if paul had said no, there would have been 0 way john would've just gone on like normal -> nothing ever blew up like that sooo -> i think they fucked (in our definition- idfk what they would count it as). throw in their drug use & lack of personal space................

actual shit w substance

i don't think unless john's diaries leak or paul slips in his old age that we're Ever going to get any kind of Actual confirmation about if they did or did not have a sexual relationship of any kind. BUT there are some things that make me go. well okay !

and a disclaimer i don't think this is the only way you can interpret these things and i'm well aware i look like this rn

i mean this so seriously when i say the thing that convinced me they did actually fuck was john's real love (real life) demo. we know he's talking about paul bc he says "was i just dreaming, or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way la la la farm" and then the added fact from this post that the daily news from that same year around the time john would've made this demo has a page dedicated to linda & paul expecting a new baby and in the same paper it's talking about cruises. which in the demo he says "picked up the paper, read the daily news, nothing doing anyway, same old bs, doot doot doot doot cruise." so we've got him singing about someone he used to hold in his arms that now has another baby on the way on a farm, which he found out about reading the daily news that mentioned cruises. when there was a paper from that day from the daily news announcing that linda & paul were expecting and talking about cruises. so i can say with confidence that he's talking about paul there. unless he was just wildly in love with linda lmfao. and of course "i used to hold you in my arms" doesn't exactly translate to "i fucked you" but like......????? there's really not much else you can infer from that. the rest of it is true to reality, so why would he embellish that bit with something he wished happened? why would he wished to have held him and then lost him anyway? and like it'd just be a weird thing to say about a platonic friend. i can't exactly imagine them just platonically laying around cuddling. i mean sure, maybe, but come on.

speaking of john's demos, there's also his weird paris shit (ignore that title lmfao. it is definitely a real demo & i actually accidentally own it on vinyl- it was one that got leaked during the lost lennon tapes). in it, he's singing to "my pau pau" about his little prod (lmfao) at a cafe on the left bank (hysterically also the title of a wings song ABOUT john and paul's trip to paris). i mean does that mean they fucked? maybe not. but also fucking bizarre to refer to your friend as "my pau pau" and start talking about his little dick while calling him my cheri..... like. again. come on.

speaking of paris there's also the whole skywriting by word of mouth thing. this one's the loosest bc it's fictional, but john based a lot of the sexual stories in skywriting by word of mouth on his own sexual exploits. also realizing for some reason i didn't put this in the original post, but leading up to the paris bit, it describes the man as a journalist who's in the middle of writing a play. but tl;dr on that link: john wrote a short story full of references to gay sex/gay culture about a man leaving writing a play to meet up with his lover in paris where they stay at the george v and fuck to god only knows. in 1966, john left filming how i won the war to meet up with paul in paris and they stayed at the george v. that's the same year pet sounds came out & paul got obsessed with god only knows as well. now this one could Also be taking the details of a very platonic meetup (paul did have one of his girlfriends, maggie mcgivern, with him) and adding a sexual connotation to them retroactively, but....................

i'm also throwing this paul song into the mix bc .....????? sure man. i'll also throw let me roll it into that category bc of the "he gave me loving in the palm of my hand" thing like okay man. i'm sure he did. and best friend/call me back again are just self explanatory.

this one is EXTREMELY loose and i don't believe 99% of them but there Are a ton of rumors/blind items if you go digging around about them kind of openly fucking during the 60s (as well as paul & linda having threesomes with men lmao). not linking those bc i wouldn't count them as even a remotely reliable source but they exist and all say just about the same thing

am i 100% certain they fucked? i mean no. but it just seems way less likely to me that they didn't. and i've seen historical narratives built on less so i'm gonna go on w my interpretation that they did fuck nasty in whatever way

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

this is going to be long . but at this point what else do you expect from me .

i've always had a Feeling that ragatha might've gone through abuse since the pilot , and the feeling got stronger with each new episode . her lines employed a lot of passive voice ; which speaks to how astronomically Low her self-esteem is without actually saying it . on top of that , her behavior blared those alarms for me . constantly blaming herself ? people-pleasing ? emotional repression ? they're hallmarks of the fawn response . you know ... one of the four f's of Trauma Responses .

now knowing that aspect of her backstory it ... Sadly makes sense . did i see it coming ? yes . do i still find it sad how it puts so much of her behavior into perspective ? also yeah .

just taking notes from her present behavior and the tiny hints given of her home life , i imagine she grew up in an overly-controlling , repressive environment deprived of love and affection . the perfect incubation chamber for one , fully fucked-up child , basically . it's no wonder that ragatha's desperate for companionship and validation — because it's something that was never given to her all her life . there's a pit where a mother's love should've filled .

with no mention of her father or any other relative , it paints ... a very bleak and isolating picture . like , no wonder she misses her horses , i think the animals were the Only thing that brought her joy in that farm . either her dad is absent OR if we consider how traditionally feminine ragatha is ( being demure , modest and passive ) , it could be a conservative household that's patriarchal ... or maybe she's a child of divorce . idk which one i prefer lol .

either way , she Might've had ... Zero Support ! i can't believe we've gotten to a point that i could confidently say i was a lot Nicer to ragatha than gooseworx was . like the implications here are Not pretty . it could explain why she's desperately grasping for Any strand of companionship she could have in the circus .

obviously , fawning comes from appeasing to The Threat , and you can make an argument that by appeasing to a non-existent threat in the circus , she thinks she's avoiding The Scenario™ .

but something is telling me that she was taught all her life that love is to be Earned . that you have to Prove that you are worthy of being Loved . and of course , not being able to meet her mother's impossible expectations , she didn't really ... get it . and now being in an environment where there's people that actually Cares for her , she's Grasping . she's keeping them Pleased because It's All She Has . seeking warmth in a dwindling fire kind of thing .

BUT THAT'S JUST MY INTERPRETATION . i'm not really completely with it but ! it's what i came up with . whatever interpretation you can come up with , it adds a level of tragedy into ragatha's increasing distance from the others . her pleasing works for Avoiding Conflict , not for Creating A Deep Connection . which is why i like that one line where gangle thanks ragatha for teaching her softball . ragatha sharing her interest instead of giving empty praise made them bond , yay !

so yeah ragatha needs to be spoiled and pampered lovingly this post is already long enough i'm going to drink water

[txniesha]

Complication SylusxNon!MC reader pt.6

Synopsis: Some relationships are doomed to fail from the start. After all, how can a man destined to be someone else's, truly ever be yours?

CW: angst, cursing, typos

Word count: 1,138

A/N: This chapter is short but i feel like it really hits. It'll be a couple of more chapters after this before I wrap it up in a nice little boy of sadness!

He just stared at you, his eyes unreadable, not giving anything away. You hated when he did this, when you confronted him, and he just shuts down. You sigh frustrated and pull out of his grasp “I knew it, i knew i should've stayed in Linkon. You...you don't love me. You don't know what you want but you feel as if you're entitled to me, like no one else can have me while you do whatever the fuck you want” You look up at him  tears in your eyes “I can’t do this anymore Sylus and I know I say this all the time but I’m serious. I'm tired of being hurt by you, crying over you, letting you drag me back into this bullshit. And the blame isn't only on you as i keep allowing you to treat me this way, but I can't anymore” stray tears stained your cheeks as you spoke, and your throat felt tighter with each word. 

He shakes his head and grabs your face wiping the tears away “Don't” he says his voice hoarse “Don't say you're done with me. I can't let you leave; let you walk away. You're the only thing in my life that feels real, not prewritten, predestined, controlled.” he rests his forehead on yours and looks down into your eyes “[name] i need you. I want to show you off, love you without shame, i just don't know how to go against fate”  

 He leans down and brings his lips towards yours and kisses you, and you let him. You don't pull away, you lean into it. ‘I'm a fucking dumbass’ you say in your mind as he takes over your mouth. His tongue slipped into your mouth and rolls against yours. His kiss that started off gentle grew into a messy desperate and frantic one. He pushed you up against the wall his hand making its way up your shirt and cupping your breast. You pull away and look at you “Don't think you can fuck your way out of this conversation Sylus” you say shakily, slightly out of breath. His lips find their way to your neck and pressed soft kisses along it. “I’m not fucking may way out of anything, I'm showing you my choice” he murmurs into your neck, his finger now flicking your sensitive bud of your breast. You wondered if sleeping with him would just make you fall back in his trap and so you made up your mind.  

You pulled away from Sylus and shook your head “I can't Sylus, you can't keep fucking your way back into my life. If you want me you must prove it, and the first step is telling her that you don't want anything to do with her” He looks at you and shakes his head “I cant just not have her in my life, that's not how this works” he says his jaw clenching. “Sylus these bullshit ass answers you keep giving me aren't working anymore. Tell me the truth, the whole truth of why you can't let her go” You say looking at him. He turns and walks away from you causing you to turn your arms up in confusion and huff. You followed him into the living room where he poured a glass of scotch and sat down on the couch. “Her and I are connected in ways that are incomprehensible” 

He looks up at you, his brows furrowed “Shes the only one that can bring my suffering to an end. Our souls are bound and connected.” 

You look at him confused and bewildered “what fucking bull shit are you spewing to me right now” He sighs and runs his hands down his face frustrated. “See, i knew you wouldn't believe me. I'm not making this up, [name] this is a lot deeper than you know. Our bond goes back centuries and every lifetime I spend with her is a tragic one. I just wanted it to all end” he says, his voice strained and eyes desperate.  

He looks up at you and smiles softly even though it looks like it hurt to do the action “but then I met you. You gave me fire, passion, something I had never felt before” he grabs your wrist and pulls you down onto the couch with him putting you two at the same eye level. He grabs your face gently and makes you look at him. Your eyes were glassy, and your throat felt itchy with every word he said. “[Name] you gave me the passion to fight for what i want against that damned curse and that damned bond. I’m cursed to be with her and cursed to be away from you and that hurts me. So, I fight it and fight it and no matter how much I try to forget about her and be with you, it won't let me. I want you so bad it kills me to be away from you” he had your hand in his now, his face pressed against them as he spoke those last words, his voice breaking with each word.  

“Sylus” Your voice breaks as you look down at him. You had never once seen him this vulnerable. This un put together and broken. “How can you be with me if you're destined to be with her” tears flow down your cheek and drops onto his “How can you say you want to be with me if you were never meant to be mines to begin with?" He looks up at you, the bottom of his eyes red as if he was on the verge of completely breaking “please, don't do this to me. Please I need you, I can't” he gulps mid-sentence tightening his grip on your hands “I can't lose you, youre the most important thing to me”  

You pull your hands away from him and look away “I don't know.... if I can trust what youre saying” you stand and he stands with you, his forming towering over you easily and intimidatingly. “I need some time, alone, away from here, to think” you say turning away from him.

He doesn't reach out for you, doesn't try to stop you, he just stands there. “Will you come back” he asks silently, his voice raw with something you'd never heard. You don't turn to look at him. “It depends on what I find when I’m away” you then walk away and down to his bedroom to put on some clothes. You grab your things quickly and head towards the elevator.  

“[name]” Sylus calls from behind you, this time you turn to see the broken shell of a man standing there “I promise ill make sure what you find...is worth returning to” You don't answer, you just enter the elevator doors and leave.  

tags: @sillyfreakfanparty @crimsonmarabou @z3vl @96jnie @perqbeth @justpassingdontworry @malleus-draconias-rose @sleepykittyenergy @aboobie @syluslittlecrows @scrambledhuevos79 @madam8 @fandomenbylover@insidious-innocence @etherealsoul90 @xsammijoanneex @acasualattempt  @sylusgirlie7 @jasperjokester @animegamerfox @jae48 @goldenbirdiee @zoezhive @rxelarailuj @huuvu @simphoursonly  @athanasia-day @asakiyu @thirstblogforaparchedgirl @eolivy @caramelizedpopcirn @auraficial @dilf-destroyer-04@hebreeee@noxus123@satansdaughter123

[glitterfingers]

Started as a silly crush from twelve? Thirteen? years ago. These feelings have existed for more than a decade. I live a quick jeep away from where i last saw you. I still recall your face between my legs in the blue room that December morning. I'm not sorry I didn't stay when you asked, but I regret being scared out of my mind when you requested tulog muna tayo, huwag ka munang umalis. My regrets are few and far between but I'll admit i regret not staying. For you I admit I remain a staunch defender of being absolutely selfish with my heart. I would not have survived you if you lied and pretended to want me when you didn't. But i can live through this pining. Thanks for rejecting the hypothetical but sincere request, for not being an asshole and using me for your ego (the bar is in the lowest circle of hell). After all those years of denying it to myself, you remain a constant ache in my chest. I still dream about you once a year and am hit with obscene longing every time. It would be comical if I weren't so disgusted at how much i want. And I'm so frustrated because it's been four years since I've last talked to you and it's you that i want specifically and only you. The blue room is long gone. That morning exists only in my memories. I've known no peace since. Thought time away would make the desire fade but it only gave the yearning depth. I've tried I've been trying i continue to try to let it go, let the wanting of you go. I endure raw desperation and this version is somehow the most amusing to my other friends, but the worst to you and you're not the cause, i just wish it were easier for me to have been your friend without simultaneously craving you.

But my long term longing is in your shape and the color of your skin and the tattoos you let me bite and how the morning sun hit your eyes and how we made each other laugh and i miss you all the time. How are your parents. What did you think about Senshi's story from Dungeon Meshi. What obscure movie are you going to recommend me now. Let's debate on why you said Junji Ito was for normies. I'll give you some of my tea and you'll thank me. Your friends probably still love you, even though your lives have all evolved, just talk to them. Will you let me kiss you properly just one last time? Don't let me kiss you, i'll probably never want to let go. I still haven't, but I swear I've tried everything I know though. Or do let me. I dont know. I've loved a couple people since the last time i thought i was in love with you. Apparently i cannot framework myself out of desire (who knew), but I've pried away the excess. I can love people without wanting them in my life anymore. Tell your parents you love them before it's too late.

I send a quick prayer for you every year on your birthday, i stopped greeting you because you never sounded like you enjoyed any of it, but it doesn't matter, the prayer is for my benefit, i never forget. I wish i could.

I wanted you before I knew how to be your friend. Maybe now I am paying that price. I like to believe I'm a better friend and lover now too, but we owe each other nothing. I love you anyway. I know you're not happy, but I hope you're content. I hope one day I'll see you out and about and my heart will stop feeling like it'll explode at the sight of your face. I'm a good liar but i know i can't help but look at you with reverence. Is that why you always looked like you knew something i didn't? I wonder what you saw on my face those last few times. I never did know how to covet without sacrificing and carving out a part of myself, but whatever spell you have me on means I've gotten better at loving myself too. I am no longer unhinged by longing and regret and aching. Time and space away from you (and everyone else really) has taught me that i dont need to bleed to prove my capacity to love. That sometimes the best way to love someone is to leave them the fuck alone because it'll be the best for everyone involved.

I'll see you. Probably next year in my dreams again.

Dedicated to the girl who continues to haunt my dreams even though it's been years since we spoke.

erin morgenstern/richard siken/stick season - noah kahan/not a muse: the inner lives of women: a world poetru anthology; "mountain nights" - rati saxena, edited by kate rogers and viki holmes/unknown/ @2j/unknown/do I wanna know - arctic monkeys/dear friend, - dayglow/ @etherealarte/we should be well prepared - mary oliver

[artfight]

i read that it's prohibited for two people to share an account, but how does it work in case of collaborations? both one-time things and full-time? can one collab with someone else to do an attack, and how does it work if they can? and what if someone only ever makes art in a duo, with no separate online presences whatsoever? still no account for them? i understand these are edge cases but this happens often in my outside af experience and now i'm really wondering.

Collaborations on attacks are not allowed, see Spirit of Art Fight Rule #5:

"Do not collaborate with others when making attacks. This creates an unfair advantage."

[juliettejwnewinesa]

I really don't understand what I'm happening with the whole situation (just something about ai), and I've been reading you fanfics for a while now (and I've been eating them up, theyre scrumptious and yummy), and never once have I thought they were ai. You can see it in writing structure(?) And the way you write, it feels human. And there is nothing wrong with using grammarly cause we all do.

Anyway, I'm so sorry for your hate, but if it's not much trouble, can you make a fanfic about childhood best friend!reader x Han Su-gang who is older than her by 2 years. She left town, sugang was devastated, and she came back and transferred for her last year.

He makes himself known by lingering around her for a long while (in the halls, brief touching, just tormenting her), wondering if she remembered him. things have been quiet, and no one tells her the incidents. She simps over Han su-gang about how handsome he is to her friends (she's a bunble Ray of sunshine and naive so they tell her nothing) and how adorable their children will be and all that like a middle schooler. It's like pure and adorable saying they'll have 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl, and have 5 cats (being dululu), and he hears about this and decided to give her a good time!(smut)

Anyway, please and thank you and take care of yourself (so sorry that this is long💔)

hey babeee thx for the request sorry for the delay btw 😘

Title: Guess You Grew Up Pairing: Han Su-gang x naive!sunshine!childhoodbestfriend!Fem!Reader Rating: 🔞 MDNI Tags: childhood best friends to something else, naive reader, light corruption, possessive Su-gang, unaware reader, fluffy smut, oral (f receiving), size kink, breeding talk (delulu style), soft and dark tension

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Han Su-gang never forgot you.

You were the only bright thing in his life back then. Messy pigtails, scraped knees, and that ridiculous laugh. You were the first person who held his hand without flinching. Who told him he was your “favorite person in the world.”

Then one day, you were just… gone. Moved away. No goodbye.

It haunted him. For years.

And then—just like that—you were back.

You transferred in mid-term, your backpack bouncing, your voice still sweet and chirpy as you introduced yourself with a wide smile to a classroom full of half-dead teenagers. “I used to live here when I was little! It’s so good to be back!”

Su-gang leaned back in his chair, staring at you from the back row, jaw tight.

You’d grown. Legs longer. Hair shinier. Same fucking smile.

But you didn’t even look at him.

Did you forget him?

He watched. Waited.

And when the bell rang, you skipped right past him like you didn’t even notice the boy who used to protect you from bullies.

He almost laughed.

You started following him with your eyes first.

He could feel it when he walked down the hallway, his hands in his pockets, and you’d pause mid-conversation, glancing up at him like a little lost puppy.

Then came the whispers. The blushing.

“He’s so pretty, right?” you said to your friends one day in the bathroom, unaware he was around the corner. “Like, dangerously hot. Oh my god. I want him to kiss me and then ignore me for a week so I can cry about it like in a drama.”

Your friends stared at you in horror.

You just kept going. “If I married him, our kids would be gorgeous. We’d have, like… three. Two boys, one girl. And five cats! Or maybe seven. He looks like a cat dad, don’t you think?”

Su-gang bit his lip to keep from laughing.

You really hadn’t changed at all.

He started showing up more.

Behind you in the hallway. Lurking near your locker. Sitting near you in the cafeteria. His knuckles would brush yours when you passed. His shoulder would graze yours in class.

It drove you crazy.

You kept stealing glances, your brain turning into fluff every time he licked his lips or leaned against the wall like a walking daydream.

One day, after your “dream wedding fantasy” rant, Su-gang finally snapped.

He cornered you after school, pulling you into a supply room and shutting the door with a soft click.

You gasped, back hitting the shelf.

“Han—Han Su-gang?!”

He stared down at you, silent.

Your heart thumped. “Are you—um, are you lost?”

He stepped closer. "You really don’t remember me?"

You blinked up at him. “Huh?”

“I used to walk you home. You made me hold your stupid Hello Kitty umbrella.”

Your mouth fell open. “…Sooie?”

He groaned. “Don’t call me that.”

“Oh my god—Han Sooie!” You laughed, teary-eyed, and then threw your arms around him. “I missed you! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

“I was waiting,” he muttered into your hair, his arms tightening. “Wanted to see if you remembered. You didn’t.”

“I do now!” you pouted. “You got hot. That threw me off.”

He pulled back and looked down at you, his gaze dark. “You really think I’m hot?”

You nodded without thinking. “Like… really hot. In a ‘ruin me’ kind of way.”

“…You shouldn’t say that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I will.”

He kissed you hard, like he’d been holding it in for years.

Your lips parted in surprise, and Su-gang took full advantage, sliding his tongue into your mouth, one hand cupping your cheek while the other settled low on your waist.

You melted into him instantly.

“I should make you pay for forgetting me,” he murmured against your lips.

“S-Su-gang…”

“You say I’m hot? Say you want kids? Say stupid little things about marrying me?” He kissed down your neck, biting gently. “You think I wouldn’t hear that?”

You whimpered. “You heard that?!”

He chuckled darkly. “You’re not subtle.”

His hand slipped under your skirt. Fingers finding you embarrassingly wet already.

“Oh my god—”

“You this wet just from seeing me around, sunshine?”

You nodded, dazed. “You always look so good. I—I just thought about it a lot.”

“You want me to give you a good time, yeah?” he whispered, fingers stroking your clit slowly. “Since you dream about it so much.”

You whined and nodded again.

He kissed you breathless as he slid two fingers inside you, curling them slow and deep. His other hand moved to your chest, pulling down your top just enough to mouth at your nipple, sucking lightly.

Your legs shook.

“Please—please, Su-gang…”

“Shh. Let me take care of you, sunshine.” He dropped to his knees, pushing your skirt up.

“Wait—w-we’re still at school—”

“Then be quiet,” he smirked, before licking a thick stripe up your pussy, making your knees nearly buckle.

He ate you like he was starved. Like he owned you.

You were already close—years of fantasy finally crashing into reality.

“S-Su-gang, I’m—”

“Go ahead,” he murmured, fingers tightening on your thighs. “Cum for me. Then maybe I’ll fuck you for real and give you those kids you keep talking about.”

You cried out, biting your fist as you came hard, hips grinding against his mouth.

When he stood again, your legs were trembling, and he kissed you soft this time.

“You’re mine now,” he whispered. “Got it?”

You nodded, dizzy, breathless, ruined.

“Good girl.”

[directdogman]

I recall you mentioning which Pokemons corresponded to Dsaf characters, and since I've recently been playing pokemon X, I'm now wondering the same with dialtown characters like Mingus, Roger or EVERYONE ELSE

I wrote an idea for a DT gym leaders + elite four roster for DT ages ago. Sure, I'll bite.

DT GYM LEADERS (in the order of when you face them with some pokemon from their own personal fully evolved teams):

Jerry (Normal): "Strategy? You ask me about fucking STRATEGY?! I have VERMIN Pokémon, you understand?! I should be glad the kids who challenge my gym aren't after my JOB. This is DEGRADING. They GAVE me these dirty birds and rats, ya understand? I didn't ASK for this damned type! So many SICK DOG POKÉMON." (Favourite move: Rest. Has a 2 teams of Stoutlands. I'm sure he has others too.)

Randy (Flying): "Well, my Pokémon are kinda like me. Fr-Fragile. So, my go-to strategy is to hit hard and as FAST as possible before my opponent can shatter my delicate bird team to smithereens! Mathematically, it's gotta be better to hit FIRST!

...Y-Y'know?" (Favourite move: Brave Bird, probably has a Pidgeot, Swanna, Cramorant, Crobat)

Oliver (Steel): "Yo! My pokémon are BUILT for ROBOT FIGHTS and they're made of METAL, so they're sturdy as SHIT. I usually just go nuts and go on an all-out offensive using the gnarly and expertly assembled movesets of yours truly! I'll get to throw everything I have at you while you can barely chip away at my pokémon's metallic armor! Watch OUT." (Favourite move: Heavy Slam, has a Steelix, Skarmory, Magnezone, Aggron)

Karen (Ground): "My pokémon are tanky and have diverse movesets. I utilize field moves. The rest of the world simply does NOT have what it takes to harness the true power of dirt-horse." (Favourite move: Fissure, has a Mudsdale, Dugtrio, Krookodile)

Bigfoot (Grass): [serene ape noises] (Favourite move, Cotton Guard. Has a Simisage, Rillaboom, Shiftry, Abomasnow)

Gingi (Poison): "these ones are the only pokémon out of the awful birds and rats and such that i dragged home that decided to stick around. they seem to enjoy me tent" (Favourite move: Gunk Shot. Has a Muk, Koffing, Garbodor)

God (Psychic): "Personally, I like creepy pokeymen. You know the kind I mean. Mr Mime, Hypno, those freaks. They're my PEOPLE. Why do I keep these strange beings around me? It's to psych you out, you see. All types have weaknesses, making the question of which type is best almost meaningless. So, why not pick Pokémon that deal psychic damage to your opponents? Aha! See? It's psychic-damage. Get it? Like the gym name. Frankly, I just have these guys on-hand because it means that I have a LOT less people showin' up at my gym. I really just see this job as an obligation. Hell, I'd rather be in bed right now. Cancellation is better than Obliteration, that's my motto! Anyway, got any Prize Money?" (Favourite Move: Dream Eater)

Mingus (Dark): "You FOOL. Do I have to SPELL IT OUT for you?! The key to success is simple: Pick a supreme type. Assemble a team of heavy-hitters. It's better if they blend into shadows easily. (I am a sinister person, to be clear!!!) Each of my Pokémon have diverse, punishing movesets which were carefully constructed to inflict status conditions and erode an opponent's stats in battle. Horrible Pokémon that will PUNISH you for daring to face me. If you wake me up in order to fight you at the stupid gym the Pokémon League Confederation FORCED ME to set up here at Town Hall, I WILL fucking END YOU." (Signature Move: She's being dead serious right now. I say cut your losses and see give the Orange league a try instead. She has a Liepard though. Of course.)

ELITE FOUR:

Stabby + Shooty (Bug): "Yeah, look, okay. Steel and dark slots were already taken when we applied to be a part of the league. We were GONNA ask for Ghost, or maybe Poison, but Mingus said we'd be a waste of an Elite Four slot and people would throw things at us if we had the expectations that a cooler type would carry. We didn't wanna get hassled, I mean, we're only here so Mingus can keep an eye on what's happening at the League..."

"So, we let her choose the bug type for us. Was she right to set us down this mediocre insect path? We'll be fucked if we know." "Hey, even if this insect stuff was all for nothin', it still wasn't a total waste. I had a rockin' good time out in the forest, collectin' bugs with my bro, and no cat can take that away from me!" "Bro…" (Favourite move: Megahorn. They have a Pinsir, Ariados, Scizor)

Billy (Fire): "I wanted dark, but the cat got to it first. So, I said to myself: "Okay, Puss Puss. You take the dark type and you see what happens. I'm going to make you WISH you'd let me have a large crow instead of a host of animals who were bred specifically for arson." (Signature move: Fire Blast, he has a Houndoom, Charizard, Darmanitan)

Norm (Rock): "All o' my critters are equipped to deal with anythin' that's thrown at us. We've got diverse movepools, emphasis on attack AND speed. Quick on the draw, ready fer anythin'. Solid like a rock." (Favourite move: Stone Edge (which always hits), has a Rhyperior, Aerodactyl, Archeops, Crustle, Tyranitar) CHAMPION:

Callum (Pre-erasure) (Dragon): "You're wondering which type to expect from the Pokémon League Champion? Why, I won't put my name to ANYTHING that isn't to the quality this here country DESERVES, no-siree! My administration's gonna give you nothin' but the BEST, folks! Why, that's right! There's REALLY no topping the Dragon type! Pokémon associated with stories of leadership and Revolution! All of my Pokemon specialize in hard-hitting and devastating attacks like Hyper Beam and Solar Beam, designed to obliterate would-be threats and act as a complete deterrent to any would-be challengers! Trust me: If I getcha, you're gonna FEEL it!" (Has a Haxorus, Hydreigon, Tyrantrum, Frapple)

Crown (Post-Erasure) (Ghost): "I-Is the war over yet? I can't get a signal-" (Favourite move: Destiny Bond) (Gengar, Chandelure, Cofagrius, Dusknoir)

[inexplicifics]

I’m also a writer, of both fanfics and works I hope to publish someday, and I was wondering if I could ask your advice. I have a number of larger projects that I want to undertake, but thinking about how long it’s going to take to finish them makes me anxious and then I won’t even start. You’re an incredible writer and you have so many finished works; how do you do it? What would you recommend for someone who feels incredibly daunted by the lengthy and disheartening process that is writing a novel or series?

Also thank you for your Accidental Warlord series; it brings me inexpressible joy every time I read it

Oooh okay this is a complicated one. Let's see.

First off, and this is hard: don't compare your output to other authors. I have what my friends affectionately refer to as Wordy Bitch Disease. I write a lot, I write fast, and I write clean enough copy that Rose isn't doing copyedits, she's doing plot and characterization fixes. I start a new WIP...pretty near daily some weeks, and they do not all get done. My WIPs list is frankly fucking terrifying. But it's important to note that I have been writing pretty consistently for twenty years at least, and I was not as fast, coherent, or skilled when I started. For that matter, when I'm tired or stressed or just feeling blah, sometimes the words don't come, and it's important not to beat yourself up about it when that happens.

Second bit of advice: start smaller. I really, really like flash fic challenges and themed prompt lists and tumblr ask memes, because they make me limit my story to what can be told in a few thousand words. That lets me improve my craft without getting bogged down in enormous plotlines. (Yes, sometimes the story still grows a plot. But it's less frequent.)

Third bit of advice: take little bites, and accept that it's going to take a long time and possibly several drafts. When I started MBTT, I genuinely thought it would be 50K. (I am bad at estimating finished lengths of stories.) But I still took it one chapter at a time, and tried to have each chapter be a coherent whole, a chunk of story that needed to be told. When I'm working on the AWAU, if I think about the whole overarching storyline too much, I get overwhelmed and have to go stick my head under a proverbial rock for a while. But one story is doable, most of the time. I've had to restart drafts for some stories two, three, four times to get the voice and style and plot to cooperate. Be willing to say, That's not working, and try something else, even if you're really fond of what you've written so far.

Fourth bit of advice: learn what style of planning works for you. Some people like to outline in great detail. Some people like a sketchy outline. Some people, like me, can't outline - it kills the story for me. The WIP I started this morning has a notes section for important characterization details and the single plot point "Bandits?" Anything more than that, and I won't write it, because in some sense I've already written it so why bother doing it again?

Fifth and final bit of advice, because this is getting long: if you can find a cheer-reader, cherish them. Having someone in the doc leaving comments or emoticons helps immensely with knowing how my readers will react and with keeping my own enthusiasm for a story stoked high, which vastly increases the likelihood of it getting finished.

Good luck! Be brave! Thank you for the compliments!

I hope to read your stories someday!

[ssentimentals]

Hi honey, first I want to congratulate you on your 1.8k! ♡ Next, I want to ask you for number 11 with Seungcheol and angsty. But could I add anything else? Something like Cheol doesn't want to sleep alone in the bed because he's gotten used to sleeping with you, and also, the bed smells like you. Thank you so much ♡

hi, dear! thank you soo much 💜 of course you can add it, i'm always happy when you guys make your request specific, at least that way i have more hope that you'll like it in the end :') thank you for requesting!

prompt: 'i'm not letting you sleep on the couch in your own house'

'i swear to god, seungcheol, one more word and i am getting out of here.'

seungcheol stills. it stings; the fact that you're so mad at him that you better leave your own house than stay here with him stings, but he knows he deserves it. the truth is, seungcheol is just as lost at the whole 'we will figure out this life together' shit as you are and sometimes he trips and makes mistakes and falls.

'go,' you say in a tired voice. all your anger faded away and you look so fragile that his heart squeezes. 'i can't be in the same room with you.'

these words are horrible. the way they hurt him make seungcheol wonder how bad he fucked up, how irreversible the damage is; has he lost you? for good? 'don't do it,' he croaks out. 'let's talk this out-'

'i don't want to talk anymore,' you interrupt, shaking your head. 'i am not breaking up with you, but i am telling you that i am done for tonight, alright? and if you won't leave then i will do it myself.'

without saying anything else you grab your pillow, blanket and storm past him to the living room. seungcheol turns and watches as you throw everything on the couch, seemingly ready to sleep there. he turns back and stares at the bed in the middle of the room like on a foreign subject - what he is supposed to do with it? he can't sleep alone anymore, not after he got together with you. so many months of falling asleep and waking up with you in his arms spoiled him, he can't possibly get on the bed without you. why would he? any bed in the world is made for you two, not for him only. and it hurts - the notion of you not wanting to share the bed with him, not wanting to stay in the same room with him - it hurts. seungcheol's throat tightens as he tries not to lose his mind. with slow steps he goes to the living room, where you're tossing and turning in futile attempts to get comfortable.

'i'm not letting you sleep on the couch in your own house', he says, stopping two steps away from you. 'please go to bed. i will leave, but please go to bed.'

you turn, eyeing him with a frown. seungcheol sighs, squatting until his face is right in front of yours. he grips the edge of the blanket, looking at you with regret: 'i'm sorry for being such a mess.'

seungcheol can add many more things. he can add how he never ever wanted to hurt you, how life without you is a life with no light or love, how he will kneel and beg for your forgiveness if he knew it'd help. you stare at him in silence before muttering: 'why are you acting like we're breaking up?'

'because it feels like it,' seungcheol lets out shakily.

you sigh, sitting up. you are not even close to forgiving him, but you can't let him think that this is it. 'i told you that we're not breaking up, cheol. i just-'

'i can't sleep without you,' he says, looking up. 'i can't- it's wrong. it's so wrong.'

when your hand wraps around his, seungcheol's breath halters. his eyes glimmer with hope as he looks at you. 'you, big baby. let's go to bed then.' you stand up, grabbing your pillow. 'i'm still mad though.'

seungcheol grabs your blanket and follows you to the bedroom, holding his breath. 'we will talk tomorrow?' he asks hopefully, hovering by the edge of the bed, not getting in.

you nod and smile weakly. 'yeah, cheollie. we will talk tomorrow.' you pat the space next to you. 'get in now.'

when seungcheol cautiously wraps his arms around you and your body goes lax, leaning on his, he finally breathes again.

a/n: i hope you liked it!! very random, but cheol is one of the easiest members to write these kinds of scenes for, idk why :D - nini

my other seventeen works are here

request your own here

[sourpeachpit]

adding to this that ballet is Very white. there are obviously ballet dancers of color, but they're relatively few compared to other specialty performing arts fields like opera, broadway-style dance, etc.

so combine this with the immense stress of dancing professionally (a single injury can fuck your whole career over like you're a racehorse, as can a pregnancy or scare, your hormones doing anything weird to your weight or appearance, etc.) where these very young, often white, women are being heavily pressured in such a way where their body is everything, where their value is a 1:1 with how they look and how they can physically perform. they know it's not fair. they know it's cruel. but ballet dancers don't go into it for money or fame, they do it because they Gotta dance or they'll just die.

"how does that connect to whiteness though," you might wonder. and that's where it starts getting really rancid, because the (very real) unfairness of the professional dance world leads to some very ugly complexes surrounding not only looks but also "I have to grab onto what I love as if it's the last one in the world, the last there'll ever be." everything they are (on a personal level) cannot be taken as good enough. and surrounded by others like them, they're not seeing the privilege that allows them to be considered the "default" that's obvious from the outside. so in all-too-common WW fashion they see the marginalized celebrate themselves and each other and take that to mean "AHAAAAAA, so THEY get to be loved and celebrated, but what about ME?? what about the work I do??"

which is myopic as shit. but going nose to grindstone on one thing 24/7 from literal early childhood well into early adulthood is going to breed that exact myopia. both sheltered by whiteness and wealth and left out to dry by the brutality of the field, they're primed to be DESPERATELY attached to the first man they fall in love with.

and the kind of men who like to date ballerinas are, too often, the types who know exactly how neurotic the job makes them. they're all too happy to hold their love up as a carrot with a stick in the other hand. and their (the ballerina's) whiteness makes them an even more appealing trophy wife for racists who want a pet woman to crank out white babies for them. ballet is a great career for the tradwife because it's inherently temporary. and once it's over he's got her full time and she has little else to fall back on because to excel in ballet often necessitates neglecting other things. and because ballerinas have to have ambition or they can't survive, really it's no wonder the side hustle of "influencer" holds temptation, especially because it allows them to soothe the fears of "what if I get ugly or fat or old and my husband leaves me for his secretary" by showing an audience of thousands "that's right I'm #goals, I'm hot and competent, because I work." every hand-sewn egg apron or homemade sourdough or weird raw milk recipe is a chance to prove that competence and sense of class, beauty, and fitting into the role that ballet, such as it currently is, forces them to fill.

the ballerina to tradwife pipeline must be studied

[cripplecharacters]

i want to give one of my characters narcolepsy, she already has a job(she works at a combination flower shop/coffee shop) and i was wondering how it would affect her work? like work hours, amount/length of breaks, what type of work would best and if she would even be allowed to work cuz i know certain disabilities make it so you cant work. (i apologize if this is insensitive or ableist in any way)

Hello!

As a disclaimer: we don't have any mods with confirmed narcolepsy atm. I don't have narcolepsy but I do have a sleep disorder that presents similarly. If any of our followers have narcolepsy, please feel free to chime in!

She would still be able to work, though there will be jobs where she won't be permitted to work such as those involving heavy machinery.

The setting that you described (The flower/coffee shop) doesn't seem like it would be any problem and accommodations for her would be pretty simple to implement!

For me, I'm lucky enough that my job is already structured in a pretty accessible way for me. I usually work anywhere from 1-3 hours at a time, which means I can rest/nap before and after as needed. Because of the nature of my job (I'm a transcriber and switch on/off with my coworker every 1000 words), I'm also able to get up and stretch or take a quick walk if needed.

Something similar might be beneficial for your character! Maybe instead of having one hour long break, for example, they can have four fifteen minute breaks.

A flower shop is also a good setting to be able to walk around as needed. If they're starting to get tired and know that movement will help them, they can easily switch to another task that's more physically demanding such as sweeping up fallen leaves, potting plants, making flower arrangements, etc.

The coffee side of things might be a bit more difficult but the same idea applies there too!

Something else I really love about my job is that I'm able to pick my own hours/schedule. For me, I find that I have the most trouble staying awake at around noon so I do my best not to schedule myself during that time.

If your character has the ability to do something similar, that might help!

And as a final note: don't worry about seeming ableist or insensitive! This blog was created as a place for people to ask questions and improve their disabled characters. The fact that you're reaching out for advice and thinking about this stuff is great and your questions are completely reasonable.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[izzyy-stuff]

Hi, how are you? I hope you're doing well♡

I saw that your requests are open & something just came to mind that I feel like can go both ways either smut or fluff and I'm curious to see your take on it. It was: txt's reaction when he's doing live and y/n turns it off (either the live or the wifi) so the live will end so they can kiss him

That's it, if you do decide to do this, I hope you have fun! Either way I hope you have a wonderful day!!♡♡♡♡♡

𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐕���� 𝐎𝐅𝐅 - 𝐓𝐗𝐓

idol!txt x gn!reader

word count— 1.7k

↪ izzy speaks... this was fun :3 Just a cute little thought really which is what I love

masterlist

Soobin lets you know he is live as soon as you step into the room, holding two plates with dinner. “Wait, guys,” he smiles softly towards the camera, pushing his chair back and walking over to you. “Dinner is supposed to be eaten at the dinner table,” you remind him, trying your best not to smile as he cups your cheeks and presses a gentle kiss on the tip of your nose. “I know, baby, I’m sorry,” he whispers sweetly. “Give me a few more minutes and I’ll be all yours, okay?” You nod, letting him take his portion and walk back to his seat, lying that it was Taehyun who cooked dinner for him when the fans ask. You sit down on his bed, making sure you are out of frame before you start eating your food, admiring your boyfriend from afar as he laughs with his fans and talks about their latest songs. Just a few minutes. 

But it’s never just a few minutes, is it? 

You’re done with eating within fifteen minutes and so is he, but he doesn’t rush to end the live, sitting in silence as he reads through the comments, answering some from time to time. And before you know it, a half an hour passes by and you’re still sitting on his bed, bored and alone. 

You’ve had enough of that, honestly. Soobin doesn’t notice you as you get up and leave the room, nor when you come back in your pajamas, ready to go to sleep. He continues chatting with his fans without even glancing your way and you don’t like that. Stepping closer to him while still making sure the camera doesn’t catch you, you click the ending button without hesitation, watching as his eyes widen and he turns to you. 

He isn’t mad, though. The only thing you can see in his eyes is amusement. “Oh, no, did you miss me, baby?” He coos, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you closer. You hum, little annoyed as you sit in his lap and let him snuggle his face in your neck, leaving soft kisses. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it’s been so long.” Your breath shakes as he bites your collarbone, pulling back. He simply chuckles, catching your lips in his before you can say anything else, keeping you as close as possible. 

Yeonjun smiles into his phone, just as he always does when he is on his way from work. You sit beside him, watching him from the side as he talks about a performance they had earlier. It was an amazing one and you watched it in awe, cheering him on quietly. “It was great, I love performing Love Language,” he says and you feel proud. He’s worked so hard for this and it’s nice to see him be happy with himself. 

He giggles at the few cheerful comments, briefly glancing at you to see if you’re okay. It’s a small move, one he is sure no one will be able to catch. Still, he masks it right away, saying how nice the weather outside is at the moment. You roll your eyes at him playfully, opening your own phone for games while he talks about his day. 

It’s when a fan asks him about his abs and he says he’s been working out for it lately that you raise your head again, intrigued. He has been working out, yes, you can confirm that. Your cheeks catch pink as you think about it—the way his abs flexed last night, his hands roamed your body and his lips felt against yours. He seems to notice your slight change in behaviour, a playful smirk tugging at his lips as he teases revealing his abs on live right now. “You want to see?” he lowers the camera and as soon as he grabs the bottom of his tank top, you immediately turn his live off without thinking. 

“What are you doing?” He teases. You don’t answer him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer. He smirks into the kiss, one hand resting on your waist while the other cups your cheek, tilting your face as he deepens it. “Jealousy suits you, baby.” 

Beomgyu didn’t go live a lot, so when he did tell you he wanted to go, you never had a problem. His beomidio is fun, and seeing him have so much fun with it always warms your heart. So why would you make him stop doing it? 

It’s simple, really. Because even though you love listening to him and you could do so for hours, the need to spend time with your boyfriend is strong, stronger than your fondness for his voice. 

You watch him with a pout, your leg bouncing up and down as you wait for his live to be over so you could go eat dinner together. You’re not even hungry really, you just miss him. You miss his hugs, the comfort of his arms, the addicting sound in a form of his laugh, his kisses—oh god, his kisses. 

You take a deep breath, looking at the time to see how long he’s been live for. Twenty minutes. You hesitate, debating how dumb the idea is and if you’d get in trouble for it. Maybe it’s unreasonable and you should just wait for him to finish up like any good partner would, but your heart tells you to go for it, knowing he won’t be mad. 

Giving it one last thought, you stand up from the couch and gently knock on the studio door, opening it without waiting for an answer. As soon as Beomgyu notices you, he smiles, a warm, calming smile meant for just you. You nod towards his phone on the table and his eyebrows furrow, questioning what you mean. You don’t explain yourself or wait for him to understand, though, simply stepping closer and turning his live off without a prior notice. His eyes widen but he doesn’t get a chance to question you as you settle in his lap, pressing your lips onto his. He wraps his arms around your waist and presses you closer, kissing you back and completely forgetting he was just in the middle of his live. 

Taehyun notices you in the corner of the room as soon as you step inside. He gives you a brief smile before focusing back on the chat, sharing his gym routine after seeing the question. You hover by the door, listening to his every word. You should go and focus on your responsibilities but it’s hard to leave him. The whole day was busy—for both you and him—and it felt like ages since you had the opportunity to just sit down with him and talk or cuddle, even though that’s exactly how last night looked like. 

He’s cute. The passion and love in his eyes as he shares his day with his fans makes you love him even more and it’s hard to just stay still and listen. You step closer, sitting down on the edge of the table where you know you can be close to him but out of the frame. He glances at you, eyes quickly scanning your figure before focusing back on the camera to make sure he doesn’t look suspicious. His hand finds your ankle under the table, holding you as his thumb draws small circles on your skin. Your cheeks redden, biting your bottom lip as you watch him. 

He’s fucking beautiful, the possesive grip of his hand on your ankle making your head spin. He chats with his fans about what he is up to lately for a bit more before his eyes meet yours again and you mouth for him to turn it off. He scoffs quietly, brushing a hand through his hair as if to regain focus. “Alright,” he finally says, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He listens, saying a quick bye before ending it with ease, finally giving all his attention to you. You smile as his hands trail up your thighs before they settle on your waist, manhandling you to the middle of the table and positioning himself between your legs. You lean forward, closing the gap between you as your lips connect with his, running a hand through his hair. 

As soon as you turn Kai’s live stream off, his eyes widen and shoot to you, surprise written all over his face. His cheeks are pink as he watches you, blinking confusedly. The pout on your face makes him even more flustered, the feeling of uncertainty when he doesn’t know if he did something wrong eating him alive. “Are you…Is everything okay?” He stutters, eyes widening when you sit on his lap and run a hand through his hair. “I miss you.” 

I miss you. He expected anything but that. He thought he was in trouble, that he did something to upset you or you needed to talk to him about something—but the fact you would just simply miss him hasn’t crossed his mind for a second. 

He lets out an awkward, disbelieving laugh, resting his forehead on your shoulder. You huf, your pout only growing wider as you see him making fun of you. 

But it’s far from that. In fact, he thinks you’re adorable. He raises his head, his eyes meeting yours, and cups your cheek immediately, pulling you in for a tender kiss. His cheeks are still flushed but so are yours now, your heart beating faster as if it was the first time you’ve kissed. One of his hands finds your lower back, keeping you close. 

“I miss you too,” he whispers against your lips, sending a shiver down your spine. You smile shyly, the confidence you had before while turning his live off suddenly disappearing. “You’re so cute,” he exhales a giggle, kissing you again. He kisses you as if it could be his last, the butterflies in your stomach he evokes making you feel like a silly teenager in love. 

Because with him that’s exactly what it feels like. A pure love between two people who don’t know how to hurt each other.

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[thewertsearch]

Rumbled!

TG: was havin important chats GG: Oh? GG: With whom? […] TG: di stri

Which would have ruled out my guesses of Dale and Drew. I still think I'd have gone with Dick, because of the, uh, everything, but Hussie decided to avoid the low-hanging fruit this time around.

GG: […] I was just the target of another assassination attempt. […] GG: Two, in fact! One here in the real world, as I attempted to retrieve the mail. GG: Luckily it was thwarted by a certain cat who shall remain nameless. […] GG: But in the process of being rescued from the explosion, I was knocked unconscious. GG: And in my dream, there was another assassination attempt. GG: This one I believe was successful! […] GG: I'm becoming convinced that our "dream selves" are being picked off by violent hooligans. […] GG: The one who accosted me was a knife-wielding lunatic. GG: And it's reasonable to deduce the same forces were responsible for Jake's death on Prospit as well. GG: It looks like we are in the clutches of an actual caper. A real life mystery!

It's funny that she's being so twee about this whole thing. Describing her attempted assassination as a caper makes it feel like a Nancy Drew mystery - and honestly, if Jane's going to treat Sburb's intrigue as if she's the protagonist of a detective story, I'm all for it.

I mean, we need this sort of thinking, don't we? We need someone to absorb the facts of the case, detect their way to the culprit (English), and discern means, motive and opportunity. With Jane spearheading this 'investigation', we might finally trace things back to the ultimate source of all our problems.

GG: Shortly before I was stabbed, I had a rather long gander at Skaia. […] GG: I saw things in the clouds. […] GG: Things happening in the future, I think. GG: Many events pertaining to us. All of us, and other people I didn't recognize. GG: It was a bit overwhelming. […] GG: It made me feel pretty foolish too. […] GG: I began to wonder why I ever had the audacity to think I know much of anything about the world we live in or the journey we're about to take. GG: Or to think I could ever rule anything out. GG: I have a feeling that whatever I saw, it means you've been telling the truth all along.

It's almost as if it's easier for your mind to comprehend the truth when you're asleep. It's as though your Dream Self's brain is free of the Tiaratop's corruption, allowing you to finally blow the cobwebs off your - artificially sedated - sleuthing instincts.

GG: And I'm starting to feel like a complete idiot for doubting you. […] GG: I've been one great big horse's caboose, and I think you're owed an apology. GG: Do you think you can forgive me? TG: jane TG: damn TG: ur makin me feel like shit here GG: Why? TG: uuuun TG: eh no reason

Can’t think of what this could be, to be honest.

Roxy seems entirely above board, and there's no evidence that she's, like, secretly working against Jane or anything. Maybe this is when her allegiance to the Horrorterrors is finally revealed.

TG: what were we talking about again TG: soory im just worked up ovr it GG: I don't blame you. GG: Where we were, by my estimation, was a place wherein I was about to awkwardly attempt to swallow a helping of humble pie. GG: To somehow make it up to you for my years of stubborn mistrust. TG: hey jane TG: wasnt that a bunch a splip infinitives… […] GG: Oh!!! TG: lul so busted GG: Oh gosh, what a doofus. GG: You see?? I clearly don't have all the answers! GG: I really had some nerve challenging anyone, on practically any subject. TG: dont beat urself up too bad we both know that rule is bullshit anyway TG: you hold yourself to too high a standard and those standards kinda leak out and start gettin applied to other people i guess sometimes

Does she? That's not really something I've noticed. Sure, she's corrected a couple of typos, but beyond that, I don't see what standards she's been applying to everyone else.

I suppose she's probably been telling everyone to be 'rational', and ignore this silly Batterwitch conspiracy, just like she does. But is that really a 'standard'?

[dragonmasterhiccup]

Part of him did want to show Astrid his world. The other part of him was scared to. At least, scared to show her his pod. They didn't exactly like him all that much.

But, if they could find a way to get her there without them knowing she was human...it could work, at least long enough for her to get to see it. Then, he'd bring her home, back to the surface.

There was however the issue of the water pressure...

"I'll see what I can do. You've shown me so much here, I'd like to return the favor."

He leaned in again, closing his eyes, when a sudden shout caused him to pull away. His eyes widened at the old man's accusations, the merman at a loss for words as Astrid helped him get to his crutch.

Evil. Sea-devil. Creature.

It echoed in his mind, bringing back bad memories from his pod. His heart was racing, and he felt as though he couldn't get enough air.

Outside. He needed to get outside...

Using the crutch, he hurried out as fast as he could, with only Phlegma seeing him escape.

The door was left ajar as he continued on down the massive stairwell.

A spell. He'd never put a spell on Astrid, let alone drag her to the depths. That wasn't who he is! Even then, that wasn't how his magic worked. He knew he'd have to go back eventually, but that was to be temporary. Hiccup wanted to live among the humans, but if they would only see him as some trickster creature, could they ever truly accept him?

The sun was low, lower than he thought it would be. He had to get to water before moonrise, he knew that. But where? He still had to keep the end of his tail dry.

🐟

He didn't make it.

Hiccup had gotten the human clothes off, and just as he was about to climb into the wash basin, his tail returned, leaving him stuck in the grass.

Flopping over to his back, he let out a frustrated groan. "Why can't things ever be simple," he wondered aloud, hands in his hair and his eyes closed, "she's a human, and I'm a merman. I should have expected that it wouldn't be received all that well..."

Astrid, the best warrior on Berk. And Hiccup...the cowardly merman who ran at the first sign of trouble.

His hands lowered to cover his face. "She deserves better..."

"I'm not so sure about that," said a voice from above. Startled, Hiccup opened his eyes to find Phlegma standing above him. Her arms were crossed, a basket of banging on her arm. "Aye, you shouldn't have left. You missed quite the spectacle. But, Hiccup?"

She knelt down, looking him in the eye. "What my daughter deserves is someone who loves her, cherishes her. You may be part fish, but you fit that bill."

Hiccup shook his head, "She's a warrior. She shouldn't be with a coward."

Phlegma paused before motioning for him to give her his tail. He curled the end of it towards her, and she began to change the wrappings, "Hiccup. I get the feeling that something caused that reaction of yours. It wasn't just Mildew, but something else."

Hiccup didn't respond, averting his gaze.

"Hm. I thought so. Something also tells me that you can be quite brave when the situation calls for it. I don't know how you did it, but you befriended a dragon. That takes bravery, lad."

"You're both young. You both have a lot to learn. But don't be so hard on yourself, Hiccup. Even mermen deserve love, you know," she gave him a soft smile, tying the new wrappings after applying some salve.

"Astrid is inside, worried about you. I told her to let me speak with you first," she rested a hand on his shoulder, and he finally met her gaze. "You did nothing wrong, Hiccup. Mildew, he's just looking to cause trouble. He always has been that way. If you had stayed, you would have seen just about everyone come to your defense. Axel and Astrid were the most vocal."

Gathering the supplies, she got to her feet. "I'll send Astrid out to you. I'll see you in the morning, dear."

Without another word, she left, leaving Hiccup a bit speechless as he stretched his fins out.

A moment later, he heard hurried footsteps approaching. Looking over at his girlfriend, he said, "I, I'm so sorry I ran off like that, I can explain..."

After a long training session, all Astrid wanted to do was cool off on the beach. Maybe a tiny swim, even though the ocean was so cold at this time of year. She pushed through the brush and staggered down to the shore.

Only to find a boy lounging in the shallows.

“Oh!” She dropped her axe in the sand. From his bare torso, she assumed he was naked. “Sorry! I didn’t know someone else would be…here…” as the apologies flowed, she realized from the waist down, he had green scales and a pair of fins.

No wonder she hadn’t recognized him.

“No way…” she inched closer. “A real mermaid! In the flesh! Are the stories true?” She stamped down her overwhelming curiosity for a moment to give him a stern point. “Don’t try anything fishy, mermaid. I’m very capable of protecting myself, got it?”

((I saw the prompt and went feral, hope you don’t mind))

[X]

Hiccup started, the water around him splashing as he sat up straight in surprise, before he moved a little further back, his cheeks flushed.

"No, sorry, I, I shouldn't--" Ducking his head, the merman awkwardly held up a hand, "Usually no one comes here..."

But his movements only caused his tail to briefly break the surface, emerald scales glittering in the sun for a moment before dipping below the water again.

Firmly, he responded, "Merman. I am a merman. And no, don't worry, I, I wasn't going to try anything...I know you'd probably kill me if I did..."

Clearing his throat, he ran a hand through his hair, which had partially dried in his time sitting in the shallow water. "What, what stories are you referring to?"

He knew, or at least had a gut feeling about what she was asking, but he wanted to hear it from her. She appeared wary, but not fearful. Maybe these humans didn't have the same fears of his kind like the others?

[peekofhistory]

Hi! Love your Tumblr! I'm fascinated by the fact that you are in China making and playing the Guqin, I was wondering if you can share a bit more about yourself and your background and why you decided to move to China? Like a self intro (that you're comfortable sharing). Thanks and have a nice day!!

Hello :D

How I ended up in Yangzhou learning to make/play the Guqin is a rollercoaster of a story xDD

As for my background, I was born in China (Beijing) and moved to the US when I was around 6 yrs old (my mom had moved several years earlier and I went to live with her). From the start my mom emphasized I can't forget I'm Chinese, because that's where I'm from and where my family's from, so she put in a lot of effort teaching me Chinese. She even had a colleague send over elementary school textbooks from China so she could teach me Chinese at home. She also got recordings of some Chinese TV shows and she'd watch them with me, explaining each episode and giving me information on that period of history.

Back then there weren't that many TV shows in China, and the ones we could access in the US were even less, so it was mostly classics shows like Journey to the West (1986), Dream of the Red Chamber (1987) and Romance of the Three Kingdoms (1994):

That really planted the root for my interest in Chinese history and culture. Especially in the case of Romance of the Three Kinggoms that was based on the actual Three Kingdoms period in Chinese history, it made me aware of how long China's history was and how rich and colourful it was, all the incredible historical figures, the battles of the past, the stories, etc.

Later on I also became interested in Chinese Opera (mainly Peking Opera, Huangmei Opera, and Shanghai Yue Opera):

We moved to Canada after a few years and stayed there until I graduated uni. I then went to Japan to work for a few yrs.

When I returned to Canada, it was 2018 and I found myself having to start all over career-wise. My experience in Japan really didn't help me at all when job hunting in Canada, and I ended up doing a few entry-level jobs in healthcare (office admin work). Then Covid and I lost my job, found another job about a year later, but still entry-level.

It was actually during the Covid break that I found out I could buy Hanfu fairly easily now. Throughout my time at uni and in Japan I didn't really check Chinese websites so I didn't know much about what was happening in China. During the Covid break, with nothing else to do at home, I found Taobao and realized the pretty clothes I adored in TV shows as a child I can now buy :D I went a bit crazy at first and ordered a whole bunch, but at the time I honestly didn't know too much about Hanfu aside from long robes, large sleeves, criss-crossed collars. But it was fun to wear them out (once lockdown ended) and actually feel like the characters I once saw on TV:

The job I had just before I came to China I actually really enjoyed, the work itself was fulfilling, the pay wasn't great but OK, and my co-workers for the most part were pretty good (my direct supervisor was great, I really, really enjoyed working with her). Unfortunately there was some changes to staffing in the office and the workload became really bad. I found myself literally having nightmares about work, and crying driving to and from work everyday. I decided I needed to quit. It was taking over my life 24/7, I was constantly tense and dreaded having to go to the office every morning.

At this point I'm in my late 30s and I took a few months to think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Either look for another regular office job that may or may not be better than the last, or try something completely different.

At the same time, I decided to take the chance to visit my family in China. Without a job, I could visit for a longer period of time (otherwise I could only get 2 wks paid vacation). I remember my mom mentioned during one of her visits to China she had met a master of woodblock printing (雕版印刷/diaoban yinshua). It was the first form of printing invented, they would carve out pages of text (or images), put ink over top, then print it onto paper:

This was even earlier than movable type printing (活字印刷/huozi yinshua) where each character was printed on a separate block so you could arrange them as needed:

This master's workshop took in apprentices and would offer free housing and food. After a certain amount of time, once the apprentices' work reached a certain level, they were even given a salary for their work.

I thought that sounded like a great plan. I didn't explicitly come to China with the goal of finding a place to do an apprenticeship, but I was aware this sort of opportunity was available, and it aligned with my interest in Chinese history and culture.

When I arrived in China last year I spent a few months visiting my dad and other family, before I ended up in Yangzhou.

There were some emotional ups and downs in between, I did find a woodblock printing master, I started to learn a bit with him, it didn't work out, etc., etc. But essentially I found myself in Yangzhou with nothing to do.

Yangzhou is quite famous for Guqin (there's an entire street here dedicated to selling Guqin...although it's a bit of a tourist trap ^^;;) , and I thought I could find a teacher to learn how to play the instrument at least. I had bought a Guqin years ago in Canada, but was always too busy/lazy to actually learn/practice it, but now being free everyday I decided I could do some sort of intense course. While scrolling through the Red Note app looking for Guqin teachers I came across a post of a teacher looking for students to learn how to make+play Guqin, with the option to live at the workshop and have housing and food covered:

And my eyes lit up.

That was how it all started :D

The biggest obstacle is honestly some family members. Growing up abroad, I've never really had a close relationship with any of my relatives in China. I've also never had to navigate the complicated family relations that Chinese families can sometimes have. If I were to go to any other country in the world to learn something, none of them would say anything, I don't think they'd even think about it, but because I'm in China a lot of them suddenly feel they need to express an opinion about my decisions, lol. Some don't like my interest in wearing Hanfu, some think I'm crazy learning something that "no one else these days is interested in", some think I'm immature/irresponsible not finding a 'regular' job and 'wasting' my time. Luckily, none of them live in Yangzhou so aside from a passive-aggressive text message/phone call once in awhile I can do my own thing 😁💖