#I've been writing for hours and I'm exhausted
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"Wait, really?"
Of all the things he'd been expecting to come from actually talking with Eddie, this hadn't been one of them. Eddie shrugged, tracing a careful hand over Buck's jaw.
"It would guarantee that we actually change how we approach our relationship," he pointed out. "Part of the issue is the fact that we've been acting as de-facto partners for so long, right? Marriage would change that."
Buck pulled a face at that.
"I— When you got married to Shannon, it was out of obligation. Even if you pretended it wasn't at the time. I— If we get married, I don't want it to feel like that."
Eddie tilted Buck's chin up from where it had dropped, soft smile still on his face.
"The part where I'm crazy in love with you doesn't hurt either," he pointed out.
#embers daily writing#I'm posting a WHOLE ENTIRE HOUR BEFORE MIDNIGHT#wild.#I haven't proofread bc I'm about to pass out I've been so busy I'm exhausted#911: kissing fic#911#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie
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He returns from the dead - unfortunately .
#[ HELLO GUYS ]#[ omfg hhhhhh help i've been so busy fjfjfj ]#[ exhausted but happyyyy ]#[ played a volleyball tournament this weekend ]#[ which was amazing!! ]#[ and our “new” house is soooo perfect ]#[ we've moved into a house my parents own that my dad built ten years ago ]#[ ( my parents live 3 hours away on their farm ) ]#[ my parents want to help us out financially so the deal for living here is suuuuper kind and generous ]#[ i'm so blessed to have such a kind loving family t-t ]#[ cannot deal with how excited i am about living here !!!!1 my fav place in the world !!!!!!!!! ]#[ BUT YEAH anyways we finished moving MORE OR LESS ]#[ still got some stuff to do but things have calmed down ]#[ giving me free time again !!! ]#[ free time to write !! ]#[ HYPED!! ]#[ hope you're all doing good guys and expect to see me online again! 8)))))) thank you for your patience ]#despair for me. ╱ in character.
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I feel like shitttttttt.
Should I relisten to the Magnus Archives.
#the answer is no#but the past two days or so I keep reblogging posts so I miss the characters a little#also I associate tma with the summertime since I listened to it last summer??? the summer before that???? i don't remember#anyway#i've been exhausted and dizzy all day and am kinda iffy with allergy stuff so idk what's wrong with me#i hate chronic illness#i'm just trying to hang out why do i feel like i could throw up#it's june#like please#rambles#the magnus archives#tma#it's been such a wasted day i literally wanted to write and tried and couldn't hardly#and i can't even hardly play minecraft and watch ghost files i feel so shitty#i've just been on here scrolling for like 3 hours#anyway :(#gonna go TRY to watch more ghost files#we fucking see
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how long does burnout last? asking for a friend
#look not to create another post where i rant in the tags but my guys am i feeling it right now#i'm so highkey stressed at work now im fucking exhausted when i get home#i spend 9 hours a day in a state of constant anxiety and then i WANT to crash the second i get home but there's a list of things to do#like my bf's parents moved back in with us and they've taken over the place#can't find my cat or dogs food cus the kitchen gets rearranged on a daily basis + they rearranging the furniture because theyre bored#im just so exhausted and i no longer get my usual alone time to chill out and reset#can't even find myself enjoying my usual hobies for some reason like i'm trying to switch it up but nothing has been sparking joy#except for my doom scrolling on insatgram funny enough#idk if its just me or something but my focus has been complete shit lately#cant find enjoyment in my games or books or writing or music or working out or literally anything at all#like i'm still writing every day because i don't wanna fall into a slump again but most of the time im just staring at the page like =/#cus im at least getting the first draft out of my brain and written but I still feel like im standing on the edge of that slump#been trying to mix it up a little and get into new things but my stupid brain keeps making me feel bad about it#like 'oh you're giving up on this thing now? wonder how long it will be before you come back to actually finish it'#and i just want to tell it to stfu and let me enjoy things#like i bought that expedition 33 game that everyone is talking about cus it was something that was on my radar for a long time#and a gay romantasy book i found on bookstagram since its been a minute since i read anything that wasn't fanfic or a comic#but again my brain is an asshole and reminds me that i've got Trails Through Daybreak to finish before i start Expedition 33#and that i've been carrying around another fantasy book in my backpack for months and have only read the first 50 pages of that#so i need to finish my old stuff first but that stuff has become a chore I need to do before i can actually get to do the stuff i want to#and then i end up not doing it because it drains my energy and i just start the whole vicious cycle over again#might just say fuck it and rewatch apthocary diaries#because honestly that show is the only reason i'm able to make it to every weekend and idk what i'm going to do when the season is over
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It's my birthday today, and I'm now as old as kita shinsuke in the timeskip! 🥳

#wasn't sure if i wanted to celebrate here but KABU CAME HOME in my 4th multi pull and the world HAVE to know!!! ❤️🔥#legit shook my mom's shoulders in the middle of a jbbq spot because i didn't expect to pull him this early in a pokefair scout 😭💖#also! peek my hbslv photocards from 42yojin on the bird app 🤩💝 they came earlier this month and i gotta flex that here waughhhh 🥺🫶#anyway: here's to another year hoping that i can be somewhat healthy! i sure hope this month's medicine dosage works haha :')#and for whatever shitshow awaits me when i start school again in sept. nawt sure how i'm gonna wing it with my condition but 🤷♀️#that will be a problem i'll deal when i get there. thankfully i've been getting better at nawttt borrowing grief and anxiety from the futur#here's to hoping i can also live the ちゃんとやんえん way like kitasang does... i need have just half of his resilience to organize my life lmao 😭#but i'm grateful to have lived long enough to see the beauty in life 🥺🫶 met all kinds of amazing people and had tons of fun too!#also i went out today for ~3 hours 🥳🥂 my joints are sore as hell but i had fun + looked and felt pretty + bought a new jacket as my gift#most importantly KABU-SAN CAME HOME RRRRRAAAAHHHH ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥 燃えろおおおおおおお!!!!!#LAST WISH but here's to hoping my exhaustion + stress from may disappears soon 😭🤚 i miss writing and i think it's interfering my writing#i hope you all have a great day ahead!!! 🫂💖 and kabu + larry comes home soon if you pull for them!!! 🥺🍀#personal
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i just took the most divine nap of my entire life.
#ooc.#tbd.#i thought it was going to be my big nightime sleep#bcs i went to bed a few hours ago#but i woke up feeling Rested & refreshed so i think i'm gonna work on some unfinished drafts tonight#& maybe chip away at the ole inbox#chai tea & writing here i come#every time i've woken up the last few days i have just been SO exhausted from being sick tht not being exhausted feels like i drank 3redbul#which i DO have some red bulls in the kitchen but i have been avoiding them#just bcs when im sick they usually make me feel worse#but now im thinking of a little treat if this energy persists#i get a little freaky w red bulls its honestly so terrible for me but i buy the 12 pack when i grocery shop#tickles my fancy yes it does
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I'm back from the mall. I didn't have a good time. I bought pillows, though. And some snacks, which I'll enjoy later. According to my step counter on my phone, I've walked 3311 steps today. It's the first time all week I've walked so much.
#rubia speaks#you can tell i'm exhausted by it because this post has the same writing style as many of my journal entries do#statement. value judgement about the day. statement. statement. step counter update. comparison to previous experience.#kind of forgetting i've been awake for 11 hours already even though it's only around 7:30 pm
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finally did my goddamn dishes. and that wasn't all i managed to do today. fuck yeah.
had a meeting for thesis prep. bmv trip. rough plan for friday's discussion lecture. cooked dinner for the first time in like 3 weeks. read ~50 pages of academic text for 2 classes and a paper revision.
feels like i didn't do enough but. considering that yesterday i managed... going to classes and nothing else! and monday i was only capable of doing the required meetings i had, this is a pretty good day!
#it's been. a tough few weeks. i couldn't focus at all last week. only got work done on the weekend. yesterday was........ tough.#monday wasn't as rough but was equally exhausting#so! proud of myself that i got. stuff done. big stuff even!#started keeping a task/reward journal to help out too :)#so every night i'll write out some tasks that need to get done the next day#and as i finish them i check them off and give myself silly little stickers to track what i managed!#so i get like. 1 sticker per 10 pages read (bc i usually need a break every 10 or so pages rn) 1 sticker in a diff color for chores.#1 for teaching stuff (laying out a lecture plan/finishing the lecture/doing a dry run/doing the lecture) 1 for meetings etc etc#it's helping bc i have a dumbass brain that doesn't give me dopamine for completing tasks anymore#it all gets lumped into 'yeah i did the bare minimum bc that's what i need to do. that's not special-#-no reward for you! you didn't really *do* anything. just scraped bare minimum!'#turns out that's bad for you lmao to get No Rewards#so i have a journal now! so i have hard proof that shows that i've Done Shit.#and i think the last two weeks i've been 1. underfed 2. overtired and 3. on the verge of burnout#so i haven't been able to do much. but a major stressor is gone now! (the bmv trip...)#and it like. immediately lifted a veil from my brain. 0-60 in like 40 minutes flat.#i hadn't realized how stressed about that i'd even been. it was taking up so much of my brain's metaphorical CPU.#so i'm hoping tomorrow i'll be able to do what i was doing two weeks ago. just plugging along at my usual pace#instead of just barely dragging my carcass forward#so! anyway. update that was unasked for but you sure are getting#i fuckin did stuff today! fuck yeah!#it is now an hour past my bedtime i'm gonna crash tf out. bedtime. sleepytime. good night
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Really bad tummy ache today, so I'm using the time I'm spending laid up in bed to catch up on writing since I've been too busy to do so the last few days because of holiday stuff
#holiday stuff is just an extra burden on my already packed schedule#I'll spend hours cooking. then hours cleaning. plus family gatherings where everybody is talking & I'm just sitting with the cat#also the tradition of people fighting on the holidays ofc#it's exhausting#every holiday it's like ''ohh you have to spend time together as a family'' but nobody makes time for each other for the rest of the year X#ram rambles#I've been so exhausted that I've just been dropping off to sleep instead of having time to write at night
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pls imagine ur muse waking up in the middle of the night only to see byan just standing there at the end of their bed, staring at them. and they're just so casual about it. something something "hey, you're out of—stop screaming, it's only me—you're out of frozen waffles"
#yes they are saying it like they expect u to go to the grocery store at 1am to buy more#they are looking at u so expectantly#adjgksh hey hi I'm lurking lmao#successfully picked the new laptop up earlier & I've just been downloading & installing shit since then#but my internet is struggling along today so I've got 13% install progress on game number one. after 2 hours :/#my counselling appointment also totally exhausted me so. probably no writing unless I get a second wind later lmao#things are okay tho!!! things are okay. I'm doin alright just eepy#hope everyone else had an okay day too uvu 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ shitpost ⋮ bold of you to assume i've reached peak dumbass.
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let me tell you, it's barely past noon for me and Monday has already been a Trial™
at least now i can get to the good part of the day (writing)
#like first of all#three separate people almost hit me on the road because they were driving like crazy people#i had to drive halfway across town to check on my mom's puppy#and she left a pillow on the couch that he chewed to bits#there was polyfil everywhere#the only plus side to that is that i'm going to repurpose the polyfil for my crocheting#oh yeah also#there was some sus person that walked up to her house this morning at like 7am#and seemed like they were trying not to be caught by the doorbell camera#(they were)#and they only turned tail and left because of the dogs barking at the door#and then i drove back across town for 30 minutes with my coffee machine#which was stable and fine#and fell over literally 30 seconds away from my destination#sending coffee grounds everywhere#oh yeah did i mention i'm borrowing the car i'm driving rn?#so i had to clean that up stat because it's my friend's car and i really don't wanna mess up their car#that's what i get for not dumping the coffee grounds out of it first i guess#but also it didn't budge during all my high speed driving and only tipped when i was making a slight right going 10mph so#monday just has it out for me i think#i've only been awake for <4 hours and i'm already exhausted#non writing
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(Mostly.)
#I've been quiet for a while because I've been so exhausted#haven't touched my computer in a week except for some editing I had to do for someone IRL and I was still half asleep for that#got a reprieve from the long shifts today tho so more awake#gonna do those three sentence fics that have been in my asks#ngl tho I probably will go quiet again#maybe not right away because it's supposed to rain Monday so it won't be long hours if it does just normal hours#and my day tomorrow should be short because I'm not on the crew doing the long shift#but I also have a bunch of other things planned for tomorrow because we weren't gonna work at all so uh#probably not gonna do much on the writing front
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can i just say, i appreciate how @triickst spams my askbox with memes every time i reblog them of all different varieties so i never run out of things to write for whatever kind of mood strikes. you do me a great service, lol.
#ooc.#this is me giving everyone permission to spam my inbox#i have over 80 asks right now#and 80% of them are a lil smidge lmao#also i apologize for being slow#my brain doesn't wanna do the thing sometimes#even though i want to#i've been working more hours this week so i'm so mentally exhausted all the time lol#gonna be working more hours for the foreseeable future since my car broke down and i need a new one#at least i can write at work when it's slow#anyway I'm high and fighting my night meds#and rambling#good night
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ughhhh i hate it so much when I want to write but i can't
#it's not even a matter of time today#I've spent three hours in front of my pc with my wip open and scrolled down between tumblr and a couple more apps instead#and it's not that i don't WANT to write#i do#I'm inspired right now and I've been the whole day#but it's like my body and mind are exhausted#and they refuse to do it#like my body and mind are striking against me#i haven't been able to get anything else done all day#i was supposed to study then write and i could do none#It's so weird and frustrating#my writing#my fic writing#mary writes#(or at least tries to)
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𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐟
robert "bob" reynolds x reader smut
word count: 1.9k - masterlist
summary: bob had been helping you out by occasionally doing your laundry, but when you come back early from a mission, you find out he might've had some selfish motives
contents: panty thief bob, kinda perv! bob, m! masturbation, caught in the act, handjob
author's note: i'm so glad i have time to write again, i have so many wips just sitting in my google docs (dw one is survival of the fittest p3), and hopefully i will get them finished soon. i've been completely captivated by bob/lewis pullman for the last month but five hargreeves still has my heart dw
proofread, enjoy!

Years ago, you’d always imagined what it would be like for the Avengers to return to their glorious tower in the middle of Manhattan after a mission. Landing on the side of the sparkling skyscraper in a quinjet seemed like such an inaccessible fantasy when you were just starting out as a lowlife vigilante.
You never would’ve imagined that years later, you would live that very life you’d dreamed of.
The mission had gone rather smoothly, so smoothly in fact that instead of returning to the tower by late afternoon, you, Walker, and Ava made your way off the jet about twelve hours earlier than expected.
Since the task had been completed without casualties and was rather inconsequential, Walker decided that the three of you should wait until breakfast for a mission report with the other avengers.
“Now you can get back to your boyfriend that much faster, you’re welcome,” he had said smugly to you on the way to your quarters.
You knew exactly who he was talking about.
While you were still warming up to living with your new somewhat reclusive and impolite roommates, Bob was different. Yes, he was shy, but he did seem to be the most respectful of the bunch. He had his flaws but that didn’t stop him from trying to be a good person, for his new teammates and for himself.
Out of everyone, he was the one you turned to the most, the one you felt most comfortable with. You could tell he had grown accustomed to you as well, often finding him spending time reading or napping in your room. Of course, you didn’t mind.
Knowing how tempted he was to rot in his room, you were glad he could find comfort in your space. Occasionally, he gained the motivation to do the dishes or a couple loads of laundry, anything that would give him a sense of accomplishment, and possibly some praise from you.
“He’s not my boyfriend, Walker,” you said, exhaustedly rolling your eyes before bidding Ava goodnight as she disappeared into her room.
“Right, he just does chores for you and follows you around like a lost puppy because he’s just a loyal teammate,” Walker sarcastically retorted as he opened his bedroom door, giving you a smirk before he disappeared for the night.
You ignored his comment as you made your way to your bedroom, stationed farther down the hallway. Passing by Bob’s room, you noticed the door was slightly ajar, the darkness from the room seeping into the dimly lit hallway.
You stopped in your tracks as you tried to peek in the small opening to the room before walking closer, slowly creaking the door wider to see inside. With a quick flick of the lightswitch on the wall next to the door frame, the room illuminated before you to reveal Bob’s empty bed, sheets messy and pillows scattered.
If he wasn’t here, there was only one place he could be.
You flicked the lightswitch, darkening the room once again before gently pulling the door closed and continuing your way towards your room.
Bob had slept in your room many times before, but he had never stayed the night. He would nap during the day while you were downstairs training in the gym or in a conference with the team, since he wasn’t quite ready yet to participate.
Occasionally, you would lie next to him as he flipped through a novel, sometimes asleep from the exhaustion of your work as an avenger, other times awake and admiring his concentrated face as he consumed each page with a deep enthusiasm.
You approached your bedroom door with caution. The door was completely shut, the darkness and utter silence seeped under the door. An image of Bob flashed across your mind — him laying in your bed, his book still open in his hand, his thumb holding his place between the pages, mouth slightly open as his head lay peacefully on your cotton pillowcase.
Half of you wanted to just let him be and just sleep on one of the many couches in the living room, where several pillows and blankets had accumulated from the team’s movie nights.
The other half of you however was so exhausted from your mission and ached to retreat to your own bed that you didn’t mind sharing it, especially with Bob.
As quiet and gentle as you could be, you twisted the silver door knob and pushed your bedroom room open. The dim hallway light created a small path of sight in front of you, before it was outmatched by the darkness. You quickly tip-toed into the room and closed the door behind you, the faint click barely audible as the door shut completely.
The rooms in the compound were quite large – with their own personal bathrooms and a good amount of floor space.
It took you a while to get used to the new layout, but after some time you memorized it enough to navigate your way to your bed in the darkness. There was a small hallway when you first walked in, and as you calmly walked through, you expected to turn and faintly see Bob, illuminated by the faint moonlight shining through your window, completely oblivious to the world as he lay asleep.
But what you actually found when you turned the corner, well, you definitely could not have expected it.
Splayed across your bed, wearing a black shirt that lay high on his abdomen, exposing his toned abs, and a pair of grey sweatpants that were tugged down almost to his knees. His eyes were shut tight. Not with sleep, but with devoted concentration.
You froze in place for a moment, before quietly moving to hide behind the corner of the wall, peeking out of the darkness to witness the scene before you.
His lip was bitten between his teeth, head thrown back as he worked his hand, stroking himself. You noticed something in his hand as you stared, a familiar pair of underwear you hadn’t realized had been missing till now.
Now that you thought about it, you had been missing quite a few pairs since Bob had started helping you out with your laundry.
The soft cotton of your white panties wrapped around Bob’s cock was a sight unexpected, but not unwelcome.
As he lay in your bed, whines slipping through his teeth, bucking into his fist, you stood quietly across the room.
Your thighs squeezed slightly as you watched him, so needy in your own bed, completely unaware you had come back early to catch him so vulnerable.
His curls had fallen over the beads of sweat on his forehead, and his pace was growing more reckless. He brought his hand that had been grabbing at your comforter to his face, covering his mouth as his moans became harder to stifle.
You would’ve loved to watch as he made himself come undone in your bed, but where would that leave you?
Leaving your hiding spot, you stealthily made your way over to your bed. His eyes were still closed tightly, so he didn’t notice your presence until you spoke.
“So, that’s where those went.”
His eyes flew open, looking up to see you looking down at him, and he froze. One hand stayed put around his cock, and the other moved to cover as much of his face as possible, hiding his utter embarrassment.
“Oh– I’m sorry – I-”
Bob had no idea how to explain himself.
Yes, he had been sleeping in your room while you were away on missions. His room was just too lonely and your bed smelt like you. He just felt so much more comfortable surrounded by everything that reminded him of your presence even when you weren’t there.
Yes, he had taken a few pairs of your underwear from your laundry. He didn’t want to seem weird, he was so afraid of scaring you off. He just wanted . . . some material, and surely you wouldn’t notice just a couple items going missing, right?
And yes, he had been . . . relieving himself in your room. Again, it smelt so much like you. He had already spent a majority of his time there. He was just too nervous to tell you how he really felt about you, how much he really needed you, craved you even. He made sure his visits were completely undetectable afterwards, and he always locked the door. Almost always, anyway.
He was mortified. The one time he realized he forgot to lock the door, there you were, staring down at him in his most vulnerable moment.
Your hand threaded through his brown locks as you looked down at him. He peeked between his fingers to watch your face – you didn’t seem that upset.
Your pupils were dilated as your eyes scanned over him, stopping to watch his still hand around himself, before looking back up to meet his eyes.
“Can I help with that?”
His eyes grew wide as he groaned, his shoulders dropping their tense stance as his hand dragged down his face, “Please.”
You motioned for him to scoot over, as he quickly scrambled to give you room. He watched with wide, anticipating eyes as you climbed onto the bed with him, laying directly to the side of him.
With one hand, you turned his chin towards yours, and encapsulated him in a kiss.
The kiss was smooth, soft, yet he almost embarrassingly whined into your mouth. He finally had a taste of you, and it would be impossible for him to let go.
His free hand pulled you closer from the back of your neck, as you reached down blindly and replaced his other hand with yours.
As your thumb carefully brushed over his tip, he moaned through your lips. You kept moving your thumb in slow circles, and he had completely fallen apart. His head dropped into the crook of your neck, attempting to hide his flushed face and you kept working your hand so perfectly around him, especially with your own panties now in your grasp.
You felt his breathy moans against the skin of your neck as he tried to bury himself into you, tugging you as close as possible as he moved his arm around your waist, bucking into your hand.
His moans turned into whines as he grew more sensitive by the second, and it wasn’t long before he gently bit into your neck, and spilled all over your fist. He could’ve melted into you as he came, having never felt so blissful in his life. His hips kept shaking until he stilled, no longer able to handle the overstimulation.
Reaching over to your bedside table, you pulled a couple tissues from their box and gently cleaned him up, as well as your hands, before tossing your panties across the room into your laundry basket.
You admired his face for a moment, eyes closed and mouth left slightly open, as his head lay back against your pillow, before carefully tugging up his boxers as his sweats.
You thought he had already fallen asleep, as his chest was steadily falling and rising with every breath, however when you went to rest by his side, his arms wrapped around you and pulled you close, resting his chin on the top of your head as you smiled into his chest, a bit more thankful that he’d been doing your laundry.
~~~
#bob reynolds fluff#bob thunderbolts#bob reynolds x reader#bob reynolds#robert reynolds x you#robert reynolds#robert reynolds x reader#bob reynolds smut#bob reynolds x reader smut#bob reynolds x you#sentry x reader#the void smut#the void x reader#perv! bob#perv! bob reynolds
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lily - but daddy i love him
summary: max verstappen and yn wolff welcome their first baby into the world. READ BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM HERE. wc:1.6k
folkie radio: GUYS I JUST COULDN'T HELP MYSELF OKAY !!! i love the bdilh babies so much and i missed writing about them and this was just the perfect opportunity. i hope you like this!
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
The hospital room is quiet now, the chaos of delivery replaced by a peaceful calm. Early morning light filters through the windows of your private suite in Monaco, casting a gentle glow over the tiny bundle in your arms.
Lily Verstappen-Wolff, all of six hours old, has her father's eyes. They're that same impossible shade of blue, currently studying your face with what seems like intense concentration.
"She's got your nose though," Max whispers from where he's perched beside you on the bed, one arm around your shoulders, the other gently stroking Lily's impossibly small hand. "Thank god."
"Hey," you protest weakly, too exhausted and happy to really be offended. "Your nose is cute."
"Tell that to the aerodynamics team," he laughs softly, then goes quiet when Lily makes a tiny sound. "Sorry, princess. Didn't mean to be loud."
The way Max looks at her makes your heart feel too big for your chest. He's been crying on and off since she arrived, the four-time world champion, known for his fierce determination on track, completely undone by five pounds of baby girl.
A soft knock at the door interrupts your moment. Your father peers in, and you've never seen him look quite like this - his usual composed demeanor completely cracked open, eyes shining with tears.
"Is it... can I..." he starts, unusually lost for words.
"Come meet your granddaughter, Papa."
Toto approaches slowly, as if Lily might startle. When he sees her face, he completely breaks down, tears flowing freely now.
"She's perfect," he whispers, touching her cheek with one finger. His hand is trembling slightly. "She's absolutely perfect."
"Want to hold her?" Max offers, already carefully lifting Lily.
You watch as your father - the intimidating Mercedes team principal who's made grown men cower - cradles your daughter like she's made of glass. He hasn't stopped crying, and it makes your own eyes well up.
"Hallo, kleine Prinzessin," he whispers, his voice trembling. "I'm your Opa." He gently rocks her, studying every feature of her tiny face. "You know, I've won many championships, seen many incredible moments in racing, but nothing... nothing compares to this moment right here."
He touches her tiny hand with one finger, and when she grabs it, a fresh wave of tears falls. "Such a strong grip already. Just like your mama - always holding on tight to what matters."
Max wraps his arm around your shoulders as you watch your father completely melt.
"I promise you, Lily," Toto continues softly, "that you will always have someone in your corner. Someone to protect you, to guide you..." he chuckles wetly, "to teach you all about racing politics and team strategy."
"Papa," you laugh. "She's six hours old."
"Never too early to learn about the importance of good strategy," he says, but his eyes never leave Lily's face. "Although maybe we'll start with simpler things. Like how to wrap your papa around your little finger - though I see you've already mastered that."
Max grins. "Like mother, like daughter."
Toto shifts Lily slightly, cradling her closer to his chest. "You know, meine Kleine, I thought I knew what love was. Thought I understood it completely. But seeing you..." his voice cracks, "seeing my little girl become a mother... holding you..." He has to pause, overwhelmed. "You're going to change everything, aren't you? Just like your mama did."
You reach out and squeeze his arm, your own tears falling freely now.
"Papa?" you ask softly after a moment. "Who else is out there?"
"Just Lewis," he manages, still gazing at Lily. "But we don't want to intrude..."
You exchange a look with Max, who grins and nods.
"Are you kidding?" you laugh. "Get him in here. He needs to meet his goddaughter."
"I'll get him," Max says, kissing your forehead before heading to the door.
Moments later, Lewis appears, looking uncharacteristically nervous. When he sees Lily in Toto's arms, his face does something complicated before crumpling entirely.
"Oh my god," he whispers, moving closer. "Oh my god, look at her."
"Want to hold her?" your father offers, though he looks reluctant to let go.
Lewis nods, unable to speak. When Toto places Lily in his arms, he lets out a shaky breath that turns into a sob.
"Hey baby girl," he manages through tears. "I'm your Uncle Lewis. I'm... I'm going to spoil you so much. And teach you everything about racing. And protect you forever."
"Lewis," you say softly, touched by how emotional he is.
"I can't help it," he sniffles, swaying gently with Lily. "Look at her. She's... she's perfect. She's got your smile already, Little Wolff. And Max's eyes..."
He looks up at Max, who's watching from beside your bed. "You did good, man. Really good."
Max wipes at his own eyes. "We did, didn't we?"
"The best," Lewis agrees, looking back down at Lily. "God, I'm never going to stop crying, am I?"
"Join the club," your father says, still wiping his eyes.
"You know what this means though?" Lewis says suddenly, a mischievous glint appearing through his tears. "As godfather, I get to buy her her first race suit."
"Ferrari colors, I assume?" Max raises an eyebrow.
"Obviously."
"Over my dead body, Hamilton."
"Boys," you warn, but you're smiling. Some things never change.
"We'll let her choose," Lewis decides diplomatically, then adds in a whisper to Lily, "But red would look really good on you, princess."
You watch them - these three strong, competitive men, all completely undone by your tiny daughter. Your father has his hand on Lewis' shoulder, both of them looking at Lily like she's the most precious thing they've ever seen. Max sits beside you again, pulling you close as you all watch Lewis whisper promises to your daughter.
"Welcome to the family, little one," Lewis says softly. "You've got quite the crew looking out for you."
Lily makes a tiny sound and grabs Lewis' finger, making him burst into fresh tears.
"Oh, she's got a good grip," he laughs through his tears. "Future world champion material right there."
"First female world champion," Max says proudly. "Right, princess?"
After several more minutes of Lewis making promises to Lily about racing lessons and future championships, your father gently reminds him that you need rest.
"Just one more minute," Lewis pleads, still cradling Lily like she might disappear.
"Lewis," your father says fondly, "they'll still be here tomorrow."
"And the next day, and the next," you add with a smile. "She's not going anywhere."
Finally, reluctantly, Lewis places Lily back in your arms, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "Love you already, little champ."
Your father hugs you carefully, mindful of Lily, then surprises everyone by pulling Max into a tight embrace. "You did good, son," he says softly, and you see Max's eyes well up again.
After they leave, the room falls into a peaceful quiet. Max settles beside you on the bed, his arm around your shoulders, both of you gazing down at your daughter.
"Hi baby girl," he whispers, gently stroking her cheek. "It's just us now."
Lily's tiny hand escapes her blanket, reaching up to grab Max's finger. His breath catches.
"Still can't believe she's real," he murmurs. "That we made her. That she's actually here."
You adjust the soft yellow hat on her head. "Remember when we had to hide from everyone?"
"Couldn't even hold your hand in public," Max laughs softly. "And now we have her."
"And now we have her."
Lily makes a tiny sound, drawing both your attention immediately. Her eyes - so impossibly blue - seem to focus on Max's face.
"Hey princess," he whispers, voice thick with emotion. "I know I probably look scary right now, crying all over the place. But I promise I'm usually more put together than this. Usually. Unless I'm around your mama. She tends to make me emotional too."
"Softie," you tease gently.
"Only for my girls," he admits without hesitation.
You watch as he carefully takes Lily from you, cradling her against his chest with a natural ease that makes your heart ache. The contrast of his strong hands - hands that have controlled the most powerful cars in the world - being so impossibly gentle with her tiny body is almost too much.
"I had this whole speech prepared," he says suddenly. "All these things I was going to tell her when she arrived. About racing, about life, about how much we wanted her. But now..." he looks down at Lily, who's watching him with what seems like intense concentration, "now I just want to tell her that I love her. That I've loved her since the moment we knew about her. That I'll love her forever."
"I think that's all she needs to know," you say softly, leaning against him.
"You know what's crazy?" Max adjusts Lily's blanket with careful precision. "All those championships, all those wins... nothing compares to this. To her. To us."
You watch them together - your fierce, passionate husband gone completely soft for this tiny person who's barely six hours old. The way he keeps checking her blanket, the gentle sway he's adopted without seeming to realize it, the look of pure wonder on his face every time she moves.
"I love you," you say suddenly, overwhelmed by everything. "Both of you. So much."
Max tears his gaze away from Lily to look at you, and the emotion in his eyes takes your breath away. "We love you too," he whispers. "Right, princess? We love Mama so much."
Lily snuggles closer to his chest in response, her tiny hand still gripping his finger.
Outside, the world keeps turning. Soon there will be visitors and photos and congratulations. Soon you'll have to share her with the rest of your extended F1 family. Soon there will be decisions about races and schedules and how to balance everything.
But right now, in this quiet room with the morning sun painting everything gold, there's just this: your little family, complete at last. Max humming softly in Dutch, Lily drifting off to sleep in his arms, and you, watching the two loves of your life together.
Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
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