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masterjedilenawrites · 4 years ago

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Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 2

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. First, 2 platonic chapters for set-up/build-up. And then, the story will split into 2 paths depending on your romantic pairing preference: You and Thrawn, or You and Eli.

Chapter Masterlist

Chapter 2: The Plan

Pairing: None...yet...

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of bullying

Length: 2k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

The rest of the week saw the three of you using every bit of free time outside your classes and studies to gather information for Thrawn to build a solid plan.

Eli tailed his pesky classmate Arden everywhere, even skipping a class one day to break into his dorm, trying to learn anything about the guy that could be useful to get him involved in the plot. Thrawn analyzed the simulation software and protocols that would be used to administer the tests, mapping out every possible way Commander Burdick could hijack it. And you were the one spying on the Burdick himself. Since the commander didn't seem too interested in your grades, you were able to shadow him without suspicion, and had been able to slip a bug into his offices to eavesdrop on any potential conversations about his plans for sabotage.

Your classmates and the staff were none the wiser. That was the advantage of being social outcasts. Half of them avoided you all like the plague, and the other half already thought you were weird people doing weird things. So it wasn't long before you'd all gotten enough intel to work with.

It was late in the evening at the end of the week. You found yourself in Thrawn and Eli's shared dorm, which looked identical to your own in the opposite wing, because the Empire couldn't bother with things like individuality or comfort. Eli sat on the edge of his top bunk, his legs swinging casually, and his coat unbuttoned to reveal a wrinkled undershirt you knew he hadn't bothered to wash all week. Thrawn paced about in the middle of the room, his long strides only allowing him about four good steps before he had to turn around. He still had his uniform on, boots and badges and all.

You leaned against the railing of the bed, watching Thrawn as he went back and forth. Sometimes he sat still when he was scheming, with his fingers steepled and his gaze seemingly reaching into some unknown dimension beyond your comprehension. That usually happened when he was running through variables that didn't concern you, at least from his perspective. You and Eli had accepted long ago there would always be parts of his plans he would never share with you. He was kind of a control freak like that.

But tonight, he seemed to be more welcoming of collaboration, hence his steady rhythm of pacing in front of you.

"Only one variable remains, as I see it," he was saying. "We understand how the commander will manipulate the system to cause a redundancy in the simulation, thus rendering the test impossible to finish successfully."

You and Eli shared a glance; the only person who truly understood how that was going to happen was Thrawn. He'd tried explaining numerous times but when it came to codes and tech, the two of you weren't able to fully keep up.

"We also know through your investigating," Thrawn motioned to you with what you thought was an impressed look, causing you to feel a little pride, "that the commander plans to only sabotage my test, believing it will be too suspicious if Eli also fails. He will also manipulate his false code to originate from the computer of his former lover Eva Carroway, who currently works in HR. So if an investigation does ensue, it will be traced to her and not him."

You and Eli chuckled under your breaths. It had been a little amusing when you'd discovered Commander Burdick was using this plan to not only undermine Thrawn, but also get revenge on his ex-girlfriend. But even more hilarious was how awkward Thrawn treated the subject. He had been quite perplexed to learn people could be so vindictive after a break-up. And any time he explained that detail of the plan, like he was doing now, he hesitated over his word choice. You couldn't tell if he only pretended to be confused about romantic relations, or if that was truly an area he found himself lost in.

If Thrawn noticed your snickering, he didn't respond to it, only continued to recap the plan. "We have also determined how we will expose the altered code naturally, so it does not cast suspicion on us... What was the word you used?"

"Backfire," said Eli.

"Yes. It would not due to have anyone suspect that we altered the test ourselves, or to have our concerns disregarded altogether. Thus, arranging for the maintenance crew to get a mild case of food poisoning so their performance checks are postponed to occur right before the tests will take care of that variable. At the least, they will fix the altered code and I will take the test as normal. At the most, they will report it and the commander faces expulsion."

"So..." said Eli through a yawn as he stretched. "What's left to work out, then?"

Now it was time for you and Thrawn to share a look.

"Were you not interested in involving your classmate, Arden Fey?" asked Thrawn in his soft, contemplative voice.

Eli shrugged. "Yeah. But Burdick's already got his scapegoat, his ex. So it'll be easier to keep him out of it. Whatever."

You could tell he was trying to be nonchalant. But just this morning, he had spent the entire walk between classes ranting about some new insults Arden had come up with, and how badly he wanted to show the guy up once and for all. You knew your friend wasn't feeling "whatever" about it.

"It's not a matter of ease or difficulty," Thrawn stated plainly. He had stopped pacing and was standing with hands behind his back, highlighting the broadness of his shoulders and the height of his stance. His presence seemed to fill up the whole room, and not for the first time, you were glad to be his friend and not his enemy.

"Yeah," you added in encouragement. "We just have to get creative. Find a way to make Arden a more appealing scapegoat than Burdick's ex. In fact...."

You trailed off as an idea occurred to you. You darted out of the room, surely leaving your two friends perplexed, but you would only be a second. You sprinted down the corridor toward the lifts, where a bulletin hung against the wall with fliers and pamphlets. One notice was a bit larger than the others, a promotion of an upcoming gala event to celebrate the Academy's anniversary. You ripped it off and went racing back to the boys' dorm room.

Eli had come down from the bunk and held a concerned look, probably prepared to follow you if you hadn't returned so quickly. Thrawn was still standing composed, but there was a curiosity in his eyes that made you smile.

You held up the poster in front of your chest. "What do you think the likelihood is of us playing successful matchmakers this week?"

Thrawn understood your idea almost immediately, looking down on you with a pleased smirk. It made you flush a little, to know the Chiss was impressed. You rarely had a chance to contribute good ideas when his mind worked so much faster than yours.

Eli caught on next, and he started to grin, the happiest you'd seen him in a while. His smile was infectious and you grinned back. Happy looked good on him.

"We know Eva's not shy with younger guys," you explained. "Before Burdick, she was fooling around with some intern in the med bay."

"And Arden's vain enough," added Eli. "If he thinks anyone's interested, he'll go for 'em."

"So we get him to ask her to the gala as his date...." you said.

"Burdick sees the two of them together...." said Eli.

"And realizes he can get back at his lover in another way, by pinning the sabotage on another student...." joined Thrawn.

The three of you stood together, proud and satisfied that yet another plan had finally worked out. It was almost worth the stressful studying and petty bullying and all the other unpleasant things you had to endure at this god-forsaken school, just to have fun moments like this with trusted friends.

"We should attend this gala as well," Thrawn said eventually, holding out a hand for the poster. He inspected it thoughtfully. "It is only a few days before the tests, so I hadn't planned to pay it any mind. But now...."

"Yeah, we should make sure Burdick's as jealous as we want 'im," nodded Eli.

You were secretly pleased. The plan was already a win-win, but now you would be able to go to the event yourself, too. You hadn't mentioned your desire to go to either of them before, figuring they weren't interested and not wanting to sound silly if you suggested it. But you did love dancing, and it was so very rare you got a chance to wear something other than your Imperial uniform.

"It's a dance," you noted, in case they couldn't tell by the details on the poster. "We'll need to go in pairs."

"I suppose it would make the most sense for you and Eli to go together," said Thrawn quietly.

You looked between the two, realizing both of them were flushed slightly. Eli's cheeks were dotted with pink, standing out amongst his dark brown features, while Thrawn had more of a purple tint to his face now, a color you'd never seen there before. You could feel yourself growing warm and uncomfortable as well. It was only a dance... only a way for you to enact a much more important plan... but it was the first time your trio had had to engage in anything other than platonic friendship. The balance of your group seemed to be shifting ever so slightly in this moment, and you had no way of knowing if it was for good or ill.

You cleared your throat, pushing away any feelings that might have been brewing in your chest, and instead calling focus back to the mission at hand.

"Actually, I think I'd better go with Thrawn. Whoever doesn't go with me would have to find their own date, and no offense Thrawn, but I think Eli has the better chance of asking someone else."

You hoped they hadn't noticed how hollow your voice sounded, how hard you were trying to keep yourself emotionless.

Eli was pinker than ever. "Uh, I highly doubt that..."

"You're not completely hated around here, you know," you said quickly. "Definitely not with the girls. You're not bad looking, you can be charming if you try, and you're... you know, human." You glanced at Thrawn and added again quietly, "No offense."

Thrawn shook his head. His color and demeanor had already slipped back into his usual neutral self. "No, I agree. Those are the dynamics of our peers and we must work with it. I will take you to the gala, Eli will find his own date, and all three of us will push Arden and Eva together as well. It's a good plan."

You all nodded in agreement. But there was a knot in your stomach, a nervousness you didn't quite understand. You cared very much for both Thrawn and Eli. They were your best friends, your only friends. As a group, you were bonded by your ostracism, protecting and supporting each other on your journey out of this hell-hole.

And separately, you had something special with each, too. You and Eli came from similar backgrounds, and had the same need to disconnect from your surroundings and just have a bit of fun every once in a while. The two of you had spent many late nights together, either hopping between bars, exploring the city, making each other laugh uncontrollably, or quietly sharing the honest thoughts you both buried far too deeply inside. Some nights you'd done all of the above, and returned to your dorm feeling both exhausted and renewed.

But Eli didn't always appreciate the finer things in life, and that's where you connected with Thrawn. He wasn't necessarily an optimist, but he had this way of noticing the beauty that existed everywhere around you, even in the most simple or mundane of moments. Everything had the potential to be interesting. His calm but strong presence had kept you grounded and sane throughout your studies here so far. Sometimes you would talk, other times you would simply be in the same space. And either way, you felt better about life.

You didn't exactly want your relationship with them to change. But you couldn't help but feel this gala would do just that....

Next Chapter: The Preparation >

Blueberry Path | Thrawn x reader

Cowboy Path | Eli x reader

#star wars #thrawn #eli vanto #thrawn x reader #eli vanto x reader #choose your own adventure #friendship #romance #friends to lovers #mitth'raw'nuruodo

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parkjinwoo · 5 years ago

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hi! idk if you've already answered smth like this, but would you ever make a gif-making tutorial? i dont know where to start with gif-making >< but if not, it's totally cool! would you happen to know where i can learn how to make gifs like you? thank you!

sure! i absolutely would!! i’ll just do it under this ask haha

so for making gifs i use photoshop ( i run cc 2017 bc it was th only free version i cld get ldsfkhsdf) and vapoursynth!

first things first: getting the video you want to gif. obviously the better the quality of the video the better the quality of gif, so when im downloading from youtube i usually use a 4k video downloader

if its vlive i use soshistagram !!!

next step after youve downloaded your gif is to get the frame layers from the specific section that you want to gif. thats where vapousynth comes into play.

if you drag the video you downloaded into vapousynth, you choose the part within the video you want to gif, so say im remaking my last gifset id drag the video into vapoursynth put in like 00:05:40 (the starting time in the video where i wish to gif) and then like 00:00:03 (how many seconds of the video after the start i want vapoursynth to render) and then it’ll open up a tab that looks like this

from here this is where i usually do my cropping, sharpening and denoising – i use to use topaz labs but that shit hurt my computer like it would take so long for my computer to render it it wasnt even worth it. but i mean topaz labs is pretty good so if your computer is strong enough i definitely suggest looking into it. i just cant lmao.

okay after you choose the settings that you want (honestly the way i found my preferred settings was just by playing around w them!!), you copy and paste the coding in the white box in the right corner into the app that will open on your computer once you run vapoursynth it looks like this

you paste the code into the section that says ‘paste here what you copied from resizer’

and if the section of the video runs longer than you wanted (like the screen changes n u just want to cut it out) you can trim it in this app as well if you go to Script > Preview and find the first frame and last frame that you want in the gif. honestly i dont usually do this, i just delete frames in photoshop bc im lazy but then it obviously takes longer to render but . again. lazy.

ANYWAYS once you’re ready to render your video, you go to Script > Encode video and another screen will pop up. make sure you change the header section from ‘no header’ to ‘Y4M’ or it wont work. n then just press start and it’ll do its thing. on my computer it saves the video to my ‘output’ folder and its always titled ‘output.mov’ so it shouldnt be hard 2 find !!

ok !!!!!! hardest part is out of the way!!!!!!! wee!!!!!

now its time for photoshop *crowd boos*

once you’ve opened photoshop, you go to File > Import > Video Frames to Layers and find the video that you got from vapousynth ! once you do that this will come up

here you can cut down the video / limit the frames for its import. i usually limit frames only by 2 or i find it gets a lil weird, this helps a lot if your video is long and you want 2 get it all in the gif without missing parts while also staying under tumblrs gif limits (which i know have been made a lot bigger but i still try to keep mine around 3 MB). then once all thats Done just press OK n it’ll look like this !!

ok lets break this down

TIMELINE

timeline is basically where u go to adjust the speed of your gif. if you press on the three lines on the right side and press Select All Frames then you can click on the time (in the screenshot its 0.02) and adjust it. i usually go with 0.05-0.06. but it depends. again its all up to your preferences. you can also delete frames n stuff, thats usually what i do to trim down a gif.

LAYERS SECTION OR WHATEVER ITS CALLED

ok so these are all ur layers !!! usually i select them all and group them so its easier to manage. but this is where you’d add your colouring PSDs or text PSDs to spice up ur gif.

at the top where it says ‘Add an adjustment’ is where you can edit the colour of your gif, you can obviously mess around and make your own psd or even go Crazy and make a new psd for every gifset. but personally, out of laziness, i just searched tumblr for gif PSDs and used the one i liked the most, and through that i adjust it depend on what i think looks best for the gif im working with. psds make the gif tbh

like the difference... the spice.... the vibrance... its beautiful.

sometimes i use the sharpening action and in order to use the filters in photoshop you have to change it into a video timeline (see timeline section, at the left bottom corner theres that icon thingy beside where it says forever. just click that) then you select all your layers at the side and go to Filters > Convert for Smart Filters.

then you can go Sharpening and i usually use Smart Sharpen. and its again messing around until your satisfied with how the gif looks. this is my preset for it!

also through this you can blur out words in the gif (which obv u dont have to do its another preference thing i just personally prefer to do it) and once your gifs been converted for smart filters you can use the marquee tool to section off the part you want to blur and then go to Filter > Blur > Gaussain Blur and adjust the strength of the blur !

anyways. thats basically it???????? after your finished and you’re happy with how it came out go to File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy) and this will pop up

here you can see how many MB’s your gif is to ensure you dont go over. also adjust the presets on the side, thats just how i have mine obviously you can adjust yours to however you want them !

and make sure where it says “Looping Options” it says forever, or else your gif wont loop and you’ll want 2 rip ur hair out once u realize it.

n then boom

gif !

i hope this helped ???? n wasnt too confusing im rly bad at explaining things.. i also hope i didnt miss anything .. but i dont think i did. if you have any questions pls feel free to message me ill b happy 2 explain anything else im able to ^________^ !

#this was rly long im v sorry SKDJF #ask #Anonymous

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diarrheaworldstarhiphop · 6 years ago

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I'm sorry to have come off the way I did. I know sending this doesn't help, but that's alright. It's the last one I'll ever send. Thanks for everything.

jesus christ verax, “…come off the way i did?”

you told me you wrote three chapters of the sci-fi book you have been eagerly working on and i went LITERALLY, SOLELY “that’s amazing! congrats!” and your immediate response was to tell me you wouldn’t show me it (fyi: i wasn’t asking) when it’s published because something something doxxing yourself to me AND THEN go on to verbosely wax poetic over the course of a few paragraphs about me as a perverse, doxxed spectacle entertainment de jour for KF and refer to my fucking parents’ careers in the midst of that (?>??>?THE FUCK??!?!!) and opine on whatever assumed neuroses i have, unprompted, like a complete maladjusted lunatic who doesn’t know how to properly engage with light conversation when it’s presented to you.Thought experiment: You approach your coworker at the winery you stress over and go “hey i did this thing with my darling GF” and they go “cool! sounds lovely!” but then you go on about how you shouldnt go into depth about it because you looked into your coworker’s life, telling him about his family tree you know about and how you don’t want to be similarly rendered an open book for telling him about that thing you did with the darling GF.” The coworker stares back at you with wide eyes like they just crossed paths with a psychopath. That’s how you often come across.

yes i may be a fucking virtual tranny this or that, one you have told that you want to save from that path (via harassment? oh, please), but at least I’m capable of responding to people online without flying into a vaguely threatening assessment of their undisclosed family details among other completely anti-social weird shit only people in the deepest sociopathic tesseract would. At least I converse like a normal, adjusted human being and not like every fucking interaction is some insane game of 4D chess you have to project your life’s stress and anger onto.

I hope you realize that me unblocking you and continuing on and off conversations with you after all that shit was something motivated by curiousity and pity towards you because it felt like you really lacked and needed someone to lean into and find solace in, given the way you had a meltdown over me blocking you in the first place. I actually ENJOY helping and massaging out people’s anxieties and you are no exception to that. Only now do i realize it is self harm to put myself out there for you, only for you to continuously harass me or dehumanize me. Jesus Christ.

Your zoomer christian saviour complex aside, you are antisocial to the core, perhaps sociopathic (as i mentioned) from your unability to separate the computer screen from the conscious beings responding to you on it. You being able to nonchalantly list doxx about me alongside unwarranted, ill informed psychological assessments to an unsettling degree of unprecedented privacy invasion – Least we all forget, that this is in response for telling you it was awesome to hear about your accomplishment – does not mean you know me as a friend, let alone me as a person.

Actually, you telling me you are 22 or whatever was quite illuminating as it explains your immaturity and inability to readily empathize or function as an full adult. Besides all that, the age gulf (not too hard for you to look up, im sure!) should indicate to you why I’m so fucking busy with wild work schedules while you leave literally 50 messages every time you come home to compulsively drink your unpacked, rammed down, issues away, begging for my attention, singing every time you see my activity go from online to away to the degree that you begin to fill my notifications with how you welcome and speak to the “green dot” as a substitute for me while im preoccupied.

I don’t want to be out being made your adoptive e>mother who you can berate and feel rest assured she won’t bite back out of unconditional love or whatever.

“ah, i knew to worry about you posting my doxx” you might be thinking rn. I hope you realize I only return the fucking favour, my guy. You speak to me as this spectacle you can freely taunt over, so here I am making a spectacle of you because you brought it to my inbox, your distress at me blocking you again.

If you are wondering why I resist calling you my friend, it’s because of annoying, disrespectful shit like this, that the level we have talked until tonight is predicated on me rolling my eyes and letting your dumb shit roll off my back. This friendship you have begged me to affirm and reassure to you as existing since you were so fraught over feeling that I was this unreciprocated friend to you… this is the absolute state of it.

However, aS yOuR mOtHeR I suppose i have to hold your hand thru explaining that friendships are built on trust and mutual respect. Guess which side of the mutual is to blame for my reluctance at hand. You actually have to put in effort to earn it, at least to a fraction of the degree you seem to put into discovering parts of my life I haven’t yielded to you like I’m some fucking viral marketing ARG.

You are so fucking exhausting. I truly hope you are not at all who you present yourself on the internet, for your and everyone’s sake. You probably also project your work stress onto everything and everyone else, it feels like. If not already, then once I’m out of your life as your negativity sponge.

Ah, and before I move on to more productive shit: Like you apologize after the fact here, but this is a pattern of yours. Only able to conceptualize you hurt others until after you are smacked upside the head.

Think about that.

#veraxplus

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thegeminisage · 6 years ago

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alright im about to watch 5.03 of merlin for the 2nd time ever

because if i dont do it now i may NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE

but first i wanna get out of the way that i thought merlin convincing arthur to keep the ban on magic in 5.05 because he was trying to thwart ~*~destiny~*~ or whatever is the laziest writing ever, it’s unsatisfying for the audience, it renders the rest of the last season utterly pointless, it’s unfair to merlin and arthur, and the tonal shift of the show from farting trolls in season 2 to full greek tragedy in season 5 was completely unwarranted and i feel TRICKED as a human person because i expected the end to be bittersweet and make me sad, not table-flipping angry, and i do not at all have high hopes for the finale

but i can ignore something having a “bad last five minutes” i did it for life is strange and final fantasy 13-2 i will do it for merlin but honestly

speaking on 5.03, after it was over the first time i was like “i can never write my fanfic now because nothing i ever do will be as good as that” but i’m really relieved in that way that that was apparently the last good episode of merlin because now i can continue my work in peace and maybe hopefully even actually finish it

okay commence the liveblog:

love that arthur and merlin are down to just jump off their horses whenever random women start screaming in the distance. season 5 could have been so good, they’re so much more grown up and in sync with one another, i absolutely LOVE their #vibe

it was interesting to me also that arthur DEMANDED a fair trial for this woman despite her being accused of sorcery. god, he was SO CLOSE?? that hatred of magic just can’t really take root in him especially with uther gone...arthur may be an asshole in the early seasons, and he may be quick to anger and quick to lash out in that anger, but it’s just not in him to be cruel, especially needlessly

EVEN THIS LADY IS LIKE “u showed kindness and compassion” arthur is a Good Boy deep down he is he IS he didn’t care a bit about that horn she gave him but still politely said it was beautiful

although lmao the way his face changed when she said it was magic...that’s the STUFF

lowkey losing it at athony head in the credits. i was looking to see if he’d be in the s5 ones since he’s dead and didn’t see him in 5.01 or 5.02 so when i DID see him in 5.03 i was like haha no way did they pay to put him in here i guess i just missed him the first couple of times BUT I WAS WRONG

like, in buffy, they spend an entire episode trying to decide whether or not to necromance their mom or whatever and she doesnt actually APPEAR IN THE EP they never SEE her i thought this would be an episode ABOUT uther i didn’t think uther would be IN it

love that from the get-go arthur’s face screams “i am thinking about making a terrible mistake” and merlin’s face is like “he is thinking about making a terrible mistake”

i’m quite proud of merlin in s5 actually. bad writing aside he uses multiple braincells many times per episode. it’s a vast improvement. same energy as clary from shadowhunters right down to getting shafted in his final season

ive said it before and ill say it again gwen looks SOOO GOOOOD as queen

if this is the anniversary of uther’s death then (if you go by 1 season = 1 year) arthur just turned 30...it’s been nine years and change since merlin met him, and by the end of season 5 it will have been an entire decade

in an otherwise increddibly heavy episode arthur panicking and throwing all the apples out of the bowl so he could cover the horn with it is absolutely priceless. season 5 if nothing else has really hammered home for me what a TERRIBLE liar arthur is - merlin got good at it fast out of necessity but arthur can’t hold a poker face to save his LIFE. “leave it.” “why??” “because i’m telling you to and i’m the king of camelot” buddy......

we were ROBBED. if there had ever been a day where arthur came to accept merlin’s magic but still had to help merlin hide it there could have been an entire episode of arthur nearly blowing merlin’s cover because he’s a nervous nelly and at the end he goes “i cant believe you have had to do this 24/7 for YEARS without a single friend to help you” and merlin goes “well now i have you” anyway.

i love also that repeatedly when arthur goes to do something scary by himself he also brings merlin. they LITERALLY are two halves of a whole

“you’re threatening me with a spoon??” i can’t tell you about the unfortunate fanfics i have seen involving The Spoon. i shall also not mention the ones involving The Glove. we will not speak of it

I CANNOT BELIEVE STONEHENGE IS IIN MERLIN. i got so agitated i did not pay one bit of attention to the conversation following its reveal and me and cathy and had to rewind so i could listen properly

my hate-on for stonehenge goes thusly: stonehenge apocalypse, starring misha collins, is @callowyn‘s favorite movie. i have seen it 45 times. i hate it nearly as much as she loves it. it’s an age-old battle

merlin is so intense when he looks for signs in arthur that he DOESN’T totally hate magic...arthur using magic to see his dad again is one of those signs. he’s willing to turn to it in desperation - maybe he’d be willing in less desperate times too

“my father was taken from me before his time” i mean...he was practically in a coma. so like. he wasn’t

love that when arthur mentions merlins dad ONCE he immediately looks like he’s about to cry. mood. i also want to cry every time i think about merlins dad

up until the moment i laid eyes on uther i was SURE they werent actually gonna do it. i came into this thinking it was a FLASHBACK EP

for the record (and believe me i NEVER thought i’d say this) even though i waited and waited for his demise and cheered when he was gona for good...i really missed uther in season 4. at least with uther you know what you’re getting. agravaine (his replacement as “evil guy who keeps us from being able to solve our problems too easily”) was a slimy cowardly CREEP. and in season 5 i WISH things were as simple as “work around uther’s pigheaded unreasonableness”

for a hot second i really thought uther and arthur would have a nice conversation where they reconciled or said something heartwarming. i was worried about an uther redemption arc - this guy is responsible for the genocide of magic users, he doesn’t deserve redemption - but this show said NOT TODAY and they said it QUICK

ARE

BLESSED

i have A LOT of issues with season 5 but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS WAS DADDY ISSUES 2.0 BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD

repressed trauma returns: harder better faster stronger!! that’s the STUFF

was i not just speaking the other day on my fanfic ask meme about how i love emotionally intense stuff? this is IT babey

uther’s such a bad father! he’s with his only child again for the last time in ever and all he does is tear him a new one! this is why arthur’s such a fucked-up human being (morgana too)

i’m THRILLED we got to revisit this. his eyes get bigger and bigger and he starts fucking stammering and by the time uther’s done calling him weak and a failure he looks ready to CRY. i was HOLLERING. i still couldnt believe uther was even HERE and not only is he HERE he’s a WRECKING BALL

“this CAN’T be the last time i’ll ever see you” oh buddy you’re gonna wish it was

and he looks back, as he leaves. of COURSE he does. just like lot’s wife. so it goes.

you know how at the end of every supernatural episode sam and dean debrief and talk about their feelings in the car? for merlin and arthur it’s almost always done around a campfire at night - sometimes in arthur’s chambers or other places, but usually out here in the wilderness where it’s just the two of them. i’m...really going to miss it, when it’s gone.

“my father doesn’t approve of the way i’ve chosen to rule his kingdom” “you mean YOUR kingdom”

you know i don’t think i really got...like, fundamentally, on a deep level...that merlin fucking HATES uther

i’ve seen him save uther’s miserable life so many fucking times that i thought for merlin it was kind of the way it was with gwen - he feels nothing for him, but he looks after him for arthur’s sake (or as i came to understand later because he’s professor x about the whole thing)

but the way his expression got SO UGLY when arthur revealed that uther just shit-talked him the entire time...holy fuck

between that & some other stuff that happens later it really paints a clearer picture of like...uther’s dead so merlin doesn't have to hold back anymore and he FUCKING HATES HIM?? like obviously he SHOULD bu i just never SAW it before this. merlin LOATHES him. it’s INCREDIBLE to witness when he bore it so silently for so long. maybe even merlin didn’t realize just how much he hated him until now

and not to get too real here but if youve ever been friends with someone who had an abusive/toxic parent or was in an abusive/toxic relationship and you watch them feeling like shit after and they start making excuses for that asshole like “oh yeah he’s right about x” and you just want to find this horrible person and THROTTLE THEM that emotion is like ALL OVER merlin’s face rn. i didn’t actually seriously "”ship”” merlin and arthur until late season 4/early season 5 (i didnt like dislike it i just wasnt actively bothered by a lack of it) and what changed was this vibe. merlin wants to kill uther all over again just because he made arthur feel this way. he’s so fuckijng PROTECTIVE

and he still almost manages to drag a smile out of him via roasting, god bless these 2

ok so i didnt believe this show would actually DO THAT re: putting uther himself in this ep but i was doubly shocked by the fact that he HITCHED A RIDE AND GOT OUT

me shrieking during this entire poltergeist sequence: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT’S REALLY HIM?? HOLY FUCK HE IS LITERALLY HAUNTING ARTHUR I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE DOING THIS I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE GIVING US THIS etc etc etc

actually most of that was probably muffled nonsense because i was yelling with both hands over my mouth

percival’s the realest motherfucker on this whole show. dude survives a murder attempt in which he got an AXE lobbed at him by the fucking GHOST of a power-mad genocidal king and he’s like: yeah idk i guess it fell

there was thunder in the bg for this WHOLE ep and i’m Big into it

absolutely CACKLING at the bit where merlin has to ask arthur if he looked back at uther’s spirit. it’s one of those nice big heavy questions - so heavy, in fact, that arthur can’t answer, can’t even LOOK at merlin, either because he’s ashamed or because he’s bugging out or both. you thought this shit was over? it’s never over! daddy issues are a lifelong ride, pal! arthur’s just get to haunt him literally this time. god it’s so fucking good

can i just say? merlin reads that damning silence reeeal well. and it’s a big, heavy thing to know about arthur - but then again he knows all the big heavy things about arthur

the score for this episode is really good too...very suspenseful and good, adds a lot to the atmosphere, keeps it from getting too slow

there’s a hint of merlin’s absolute HATRED of uther in this conversation again - the way his face tightens when he says “uther would do anything to protect his legacy and that makes him dangerous, who knows what he’s capable of now”

and arthur dismisses him because he can’t hear this but merlin almost refuses to leave - and when he DOES leave, he doesn’t take his eyes off arthur for one fucking second. he stares him down all the way out of the room. i don’t think it’s because he’s angry with arthur, per se - he’s angry with uther, and he knows uther in a way arthur never can or will, as someone ruthless who will kill without warning or remorse. he’s afraid of uther and he’s trying to get arthur to be afraid of uther too before it’s too late and LSDKFJGHSLDFJH

if you’re thinking “thats a lot to interpret from one look” yes it is but i’m right. IT’S A BIG, HEAVY LOOK. NICE AND LOADED. love unpacking all of that

i cant believe this dude tried to KILL GWEN like he really is coming after everything that makes arthur happy. im so glad it was merlin that saved her. i really do think merlin is her best friend

multiple times in this serious arthur fidgets when he’s nervous or thinking, usually with his hands near his mouth. i am endeared to him. my poor boy

“i always knew my father could be cruel but why would he do this to gwen when he knows i love her” BECAUSE HE’S CRUEL

merlin knows. merlin knows his cruelty much better than arthur. boy does he know. i’m dying. it’s fine

love that at this part of the ep we slide seamlessly into the “merlin and arthur are both scared shitless” section which was truly one of my favorite things about the s4 opener. they’re both so fucking jumpy and giving each other shit about being frightened and continuing to be frightened anyway. the DELICIOUS IRONY of arthur finally being scared of uther in the way merlin has been scared of uther for Y E A R S oh my god it’s so GOOD

do also love the entire silent conversation they have when deciding what to do about the door. this is what i mean by their upgraded vibe.l in the early seasons merlin wouldn’t have understood and his lack of understanding would have been played for laughs. now they’re totally in sync

here’s the thing, gaius could have made this magic “able to see uther’s ghost” potion for just arthur and he didn’t. he made it for both of them. everything arthur does merlin does. they’re partners in all things. they’re COMPANIONS. and this is why i finally now Ship It. tragic.

you know this is a kind of weird comparison but late seasons arthur reminds me JUST a bit of gwaine. he complains so much less that he sort of has that same “roll with whatever” vibe to him. pretend to faint so you can steal some guy’s dagger? why not. take this foul potion that may kill us? sure, let’s do it. come what may he’s not really fussed. much more unflappable

until he starts getting spooked again LMFAO

we do love a good pair of spooked dumbasses. this is charming and entertaining.

leon HAD to know they were lying about poetry. he probably thought they were having.......a tryst,

love also that even in this very dire moment merlin does NOT miss the chance to have some fun at arthur’s expense. that’s true friendship

i got jumpscared three separate times during this ep and one of them was when uther was glaring down merlin and arthur in the hallway after leon left

arthur didn’t jump but he did go hunting after him and to his credit he does not look scared. he looks like a man who is trying to deal with his business and get his shit together

merlin made that FACE again when arthur expressed sadness at hunting his own father because all he ever wanted to DO was make him proud

honestly it’s like since he can’t shit-talk uther he just sings arthur’s praises instead like this here is a guy who is just barely holding his tongue about how fuckin pissed he is. i cant believe it

splitting up was the WORST idea. have they not seen scooby doo??

love that when merlin gets cornered by uther’s ghost and gets scared he yells for arthur and when arthur gets scared because his torch blows out he yells for merlin. you fools, why did you SPLIT UP

uther locks arthur in the room with him, which is already some top tier content, but doubly good? it’s the same room in which arthur nearly ran him through in 2.08. don’t think i didn’t notice. i did notice. i was shrieking into my hands.

seriously this is a pretty calm liveblog but the first time i watched this ep my face was like this the whole time: O O

just kept going “HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD” over and over. it was greeat

“arthur your fatal flaw is that you put too much trust in other people” do you think arthur, who now has a complex about people betraying him, ever forgot that for one second in his entire life afterward? me neither

speaking of 2.08 arthur dropped some FACTS “your hatred comes from fear” i'm sure they didn’t do it on purpose but #throwbacks

i’m fully experiencing human emotion. “i’m not you, i can’t rule like you did” he’s trying SO HARD to fight his way out of that bullshit

also lmao arthur like “then you’ll have to kill me” and uther like “yeah okay” arthur didn’t KNOW how this man was this could have been SUCH a good awakening

AND NOW IT’S TIME

FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF THIS EPISODE

when i say merlin hates uther. WHEN I SAY MERLIN H A T E S UTHER

HIS LINE HERE. ok. “get away from him, uther. you’ve caused enough harm” he’s furious! he’s GROWLING!

“you are just a serving boy” “i am much more than that” listen. human words cannot express the emotion that ran through me. when they said “we’re gonna bring back anthony head as uther” i doubted. when they said “he’s gonna be the bad guy and reopen all of arthur’s old wounds” i doubted. when they said “he’s still here LITERALLY haunting arthur who now has to HUNT HIM” I DOUBTED. i didn’t believe they’d do any of it until it was happening on my screen. but ONE LOOK at merlins face made a MOTHERFUCKING BELIEVER out of me. i knew exactly what he was about to do. pretty sure i gasped “NO” in astonishment

AND HE DID THAT

HE👏

DID👏

THAT👏

NOT ONLY. DID I SHRIEK ALOUD. FULL SCREAM. WHEN IT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME. BUT JUST NOW. WHEN I WATCHED HIM DO IT AGAIN. MORE SCREAMING.

how LONG do you think merlin had ACHED to do that

to show himself to uther for what he was, what he REALLY WAS, someone to be reckoned with instead of someone to be overlookedd, without fear of consequences

i can’t even like

like just imagine the triple rush of 1. satisfaction 2. rage 3. lingering habitual terror

i think at this moment merlin was closer to and more like morgana than he had ever been and maybe ever will be again. because the two of them have so much in common but one thing i didn’t really clock until now is how much they both hate uther

it’s so good. uther is SHOCKED and DISMAYED and this is like merlin’s old fear come back from death too (getting found out by uther) while at the same time being a dream come true (getting to tell uther what he really thinks, who he really is - “i was BORN with it!”) he’s so ANGRY! he is LIVID!)

he’s also really SATISFIED like “even while you were king there was magic at the heart of camelot” GOD how long has he been WAITING for this and not even realized it

and like then uther starts spewing his hateful bullshit and stalking forward with the intent to kill and my guy merlin who should be terrified STANDS HIS MOTHERFUCKING GROUND and says right over him “you’re wrong, you’re wrong” for thirty beautiful seconds merlin really got to be free. i know i will keep comparing things to 2.08 until i die but it’s just like when arthur was almost ready to kill uther in cold blood because for one perfect, brilliant moment he really and truly saw clearly the world as it was. i really love these moments...the strength of their respective convictions is so gratifying

merlin yeeting uther through a door is also gratifying although i have no idea what he hoped to accomplish by following without waking arthur first

i. LOVE. that the camera lingered a little on the spears or whatever after merlin walked by them. nice little foreshadowing moment

THOSE SPEARS GOT AWFULLY CLOSE BUT IM PRETTY SURE UTHER MISSED ON PURPOSE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE HIS TIME. HIS MISTAKE

okay merlin spent the better part of a lifetime dreading uther’s death sentence and here’s uther stalking down a hallway sword pointed at his chest and certain death is IMMINENT and what does merlin’s face look like?

arthur comes in with the rescue and INSTANTLY his expression changes to?

IT’S BETTER IN MOTION BUT HE LOOKS READY TO CRY

my immediate thought: oh jesus what if uther outs him

i knew he wouldnt bc of spoilers but i would bet a benjamin that that was merlin’s first thought too

tbh. i wish he had.

i kind of wonder if merlin doesn’t wish the same thing. like yes being outed like that is terribly violating and he’s terrified of telling arthur obviously or he would have already but at the same time there would be so much relief once it was finally out. no more secret-keeping. no more burden

i mean, if you go back and watch it, dude’s straight up shaking. he’s trembling all over. he’s losing it. that last teary glance they exchanged.......

uther was two SYLLABLES away from blowing the whole thing

and in a better happier canon where arthur knows and was waiting for merlin to tell him this is like double angst because uther wouldve ben blowing something for them both

i like arthurs followup of realizing that he’ll never be able to please uther (step 1 of breaking away from the cycle of abuse) but for the LIFE OF ME

i will NEVER be able to understand why they segued into this GLOVE THING

i’m not talking about the glove thing

i will say however that by the end of this episode i was so hysterical i had to get up and get water and pace around my kitchen for ten minutes fanning my own face

and that’s it. that’s the second-best episode of merlin and the last good episode there ever was

#personal #merlin blogging #it took me three and a half hours to rewatch this episode because i kept pausing to scream #MERLIN DESERVES TO BE OUT TO EVERYONE ALL THE TIME it's not FAIR #that episode deserved to be 20 minutes longer it ended too soon #in a happier world arthur found out about the magic and immediately took merlin's side and defended him against the genocidal maniac but app #apparently this show is a greek tragedy now

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kramlabs · 6 years ago

Text

six norms that may be making your family less healthy

via Shane Trotter

What is normal is not normal. The human biology expects sunlight, constant movement, physical novelty, whole, natural foods, close relationships built upon shared purposeful efforts for survival, and a generally slow life pace.

Today it is normal to eat exclusively processed, convenience foods, to remain indoors all day except for trips in our temperature controlled cars, to feel pulled and prodded by constant message alerts, and to sit all day, predominantly with our face in a screen while being passively entertained. Normal is a relative term.

Very few forces are as powerful as the human need to belong. Consequently, we naturally tend towards herd mentality, behaving as the masses do, regardless of personal benefit. In fact, we’ll adopt odd “normal” behaviors without even realizing they directly contradict our desires, or that we could choose not to.

The standard model of life that we’ve been handed has created a devastating global health picture and all signs point to this trend worsening in our youngest generation. Now, more than ever, we must be willing to question what is normal and carve a different path.

Freedom is not just having the ability to behave as we wish, but knowing why we choose those behaviors. Through reflection and education, we truly become free and are then able to craft an environment that pulls our family to health and vitality.

If wondering where to start, I recommend exploring these six norms that may be making your family less healthy.

1. Having “Kid Food” Around

There is a widespread belief that there should be a distinction between kid’s foods and adult foods. I’ll never forget a client telling me how she ate well for most meals, but often found herself snacking on her kid's chips or popping a soda. When I suggested she stop keeping these foods in the house, she responded angrily, “I’m not going to not have chips and sodas for my kids.”

I’ve even seen this in healthy parents who make separate meals for their children so the young ones aren’t subjected to nutritious eating, as if this was a torturous experience. They’ll have roasted chicken, brown rice, and mixed vegetables while making chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, or frozen pizza for the young ones.

We’ve been sold the belief that kids can only eat chicken in nugget form, fish in fried stick form, and that the rest of their diet should come from packaged junk. While it is true that palates have to develop, children have always eaten natural, whole foods.

Fruits, vegetables, meat, seeds, and nuts have been the only available foods for almost all of human history. Roasted vegetables, sweet potatoes, and fish are actually childhood favorites when children aren’t engulfed in a world of Pop Tarts and pudding that only further serves to warp their palate. Without a diet predominantly consisting of whole foods, children are virtually ensured of future struggles with health and eating.

Make it simple. Make meals from foods that could have existed 10,000 years ago and have your children eat what you do. Ice cream and other desserts are wonderful occasional treats, but they should require a special trip, not be an always available temptation.

2. Driving As Your Only Mode of Transportation

For most of human history, human muscle moved us wherever we went. Today locomotion outside of our sanitized home or office environment is typically outsourced to the automobile. We even drive across the work campus or endlessly circle in search of a closer parking spot.

Most people struggle to find time for fitness while neglecting to incorporate normal activity into their everyday life. Why is there a need to drive your kids to school if it is less than a mile away? Why must you drive to work if it is just across town? My daily trip to work only went from 10 to 20 beautiful minutes when I switched to a bike commuting lifestyle.

According to the CDC, 71.6% of Americans over age 20 are overweight. Healthcare costs are unsustainable, and yet we drive when it would be almost as easy to use human muscle.

Help your kids break free of this pattern. What a model it would be to make it standard practice to bike when round trips are 10-miles or less, or to walk to pick your kids up from school until they are old enough to walk home themselves.

Despite modern helicopter norms, this is the goal of parenting: to create self-sufficient people capable of creating a purpose and contributing to something bigger than themselves. As much as it scares us we should want them to have this desire for independence and exploration. It sure beats smartphone addiction.

3. Letting Kids Have a TV in the Bedroom

Our environment is powerful. If cookies are always on a plate in the kitchen, we’ll probably make it a norm to grab one while walking by. Replace that norm with a bowl of fruit or ants on a log (peanut butter and raisins on celery), and our snacking norms change.

Screens are an especially pervasive temptation in the modern world. They bring an infinite number of messages. Nowadays, televisions are the focal point of our homes, constantly beckoning us to sit down and stop conversations. But at least we share the programs. They can provide talking points, mutual laughter, and a communal experience not too much different from the primal experience of fireside stories.

Yet, in a kid’s bedroom, the TV brings no positives and many negatives. It is a constant source of distraction from study, reading, getting out to play, or trying any creative endeavor. It is a pull towards more time in isolation and more ability to avoid dealing with potential family conflicts. Most destructively, it is a recipe for poor sleep.

Adolescents and teens need 8 1/2 to 10 hours of sleep per night but tend to average 7 or less. Absent of this they will be foggy, moody, lacking concentration, and at increased risk for the poor decisions that characterize this age.

Their natural body rhythms pull them towards later hours, but school start times rarely honor that reality. Add extra-curriculars and socializing and it can be very difficult for teens to adopt a healthy sleep schedule. These struggles magnify tenfold when they have a TV in their bedroom, which they’ll inevitably watch from bed.

Dr. Craig Canapari, director of the Yale Pediatric Sleep Center, says that the number one thing you can do to help your kids avoid sleep problems now and into adulthood is, never put a television in their bedroom.

The only rationale I can see for putting a TV in bed is to appease your children, despite their own well-being. You are the parent. Be the parent.

4. Giving Kids Smartphones Without Boundaries

Nothing poses a greater risk to your children than that screen they can walk around with every hour of the day. The phone allows millions of messages to shape unhealthy beliefs and values, it prompts poor posture and sitting, it precludes face-to-face communication and overcoming social fears, and it wraps the mind in a vortex of anxiety and a compulsive need for distraction.

At least with the TV you sit and share a single program with other people. The smartphone isolates and constantly prompts you to search for the next best thing after only a brief superficial scan. Take everything wrong with having a television in the bedroom and multiply that by a trillion with the smartphone.

There is no culprit more responsible for the terrifying state of American physical, mental, and emotional health, particularly in childhood than smartphone ubiquity.

But, what are you gonna do, right? It is the world we live in, right?

Please, parents, piss your children off. Tell them no, not until 8th grade and not without tons of boundaries. Why open Pandora's box too early? I’m sure I sound extreme, but this technology is extreme. While working in schools I’ve watched the lobotomization it renders on a generation and, it isn’t just them.

Parents line the park benches scanning furiously. Grandparents and babysitters take their children to bounce houses at odd hours so they can sit and scan their phones uninterrupted. We’ve all seen tech addiction and we’re all subject to the allure. Unchecked smartphone use is the path to a Wall-E type dystopia.

You can’t pretend smartphones don’t exist and you can’t hide them forever, but you can for a while. I highly recommend checking out the screen use recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatricians and using their Create Your Family Media Plan tool. It is very easy and will prompt you through ideas and nuances you may not have considered.

5. Not Managing Smartphone Alerts

As usual, we should start with our own model. Strong parents make strong kids. More often than not we are constantly pulled away from the moment by email dings, texts, and quick scans that turn into a 10-minute mental mindless scroll. This is only made worse by the Apple watch that now supersedes any phone away boundary to shove messages back in your face. Take that dinner time!

Simple recommendations that can help you take back control of your time and be more present for your family:

Anything urgent should require a call. Go to your settings and silence all texts and email messaging. People will learn this about you and it will recalibrate their sense of what is urgent.

Plan the times you will batch all messaging response.

Plan the times you will use social media, apps, etc. For example, maybe you can batch this to two 30-minute blocks within your day. This takes the negative out and makes the tool work for you.

While doing complex work, turn the phone on airplane mode and focus. You’ll get more done.

After work or as you come to dinner, put the phone on a charger, away from you and your bedroom.

Get an alarm clock. A single function device.

Silence all calls and notifications a couple hours before bed. You can make exceptions for people you mark as favorites. This is quite easy to do actually.

6. Buying Into a Modern Youth Sports Culture

After the smartphone, this is truly the toughest insane norm to tread in the modern world. For most of you reading, youth sports were an amazing, integral part of your upbringing. Here we learned essential social skills, how to work on behalf of a team, and how to practice to improve. We played every sport, building a broad array of physical skills that nurtured a love of moving and play. It’s probably where you first fell in love with training.

Today, these foundational experiences have been completely perverted by conmen looking for easy money and a culture of over the top bulldozer parents, willing to pay any price to convince their child they are the center of the universe. Second graders have “signing days” when their parents pay for them to join the “elite” soccer team.

Third-grade football teams put the kids' name on the back of the jersey and have a “pep-rally” every Friday night before Saturday games. Most disturbingly, at earlier and earlier ages, coaches try to convince players they are falling way behind without ridiculous travel, specialization, and expensive skills coaches.

Elementary school kids will have multiple evening practices per week, late games, and long Saturday tournaments. Family time evaporates under the guise that this is what you have to do. By middle school baseball and volleyball parents have conceded their wallets and their summer to travel ball. The family no longer has the option to vacation other than 1,000-mile trips to play athletes just like the ones in their own city.

Clearly, this is an article unto itself. The biggest take-home message is:

This is not the best way to build athletes. Athletic participation is way down, meaning our talent pool is smaller and more kids miss out on these vital experiences. Furthermore, as detailed in the Long Term Athletic Development model, optimal athleticism follows age-appropriate, balanced exposure to sports.

Youth sports should not be expensive and should not be all-encompassing. All the kids want to do is play the game with their friends. Remember that? We’d just go play sports with our friends without coaches or parents and we grew up doing it. Or, we’d go outside and play catch with mom and dad.

Resist the urge to follow the masses into this crazy debt trap. Youth sports can be an amazing experience, but they shouldn’t be the only experiences. How you spend your time matters. Family dinner matters. Family vacation matters.

“It’s no sign of health to be well adjusted to a sick society.”

Krishnamurti

As usual, any broad rambling list will be full of prescriptions that don’t accommodate or appreciate your unique constraints and needs. There are major exceptions to nearly every point I’ve made, but I will stand by the underlying principles. Our standard model is a cultural conveyor belt towards poor health and dissatisfaction.

The best thing we can do is have the courage to buck the norms and live authentically, pursuing a path we earnestly believe in. This will take strength and require you to be counter-cultural. Your efforts matter. Strong parents make strong kids.

This Week’s Mission

Apply any of the suggestions from these six unhealthy norms. If you are unsure where to start, create a family media use plan. Having boundaries tends to offer a great deal of freedom. Without them, we are constantly pulled and prodded, controlled by a constant flood of habit-inducing notifications.

http://breakingmuscle.com/fitness/6-unhealthy-norms-plaguing-us-all

http://breakingmuscle.com/coaches/shane-trotter

#shane trotter #raising kids

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naernon · 7 years ago

Note

for the ask meme (TES, obvs): 3,9, 13 (for naemon), 23!

thank you!! i wrote this all last night and i havent checked for coherency or errors so forgive me if it’s a bit scatterbrained at times (although yall should be used to incoherency coming from me ghhgfg.)

____

3.) Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

someone said that they didn’t like serana and i was already sitting on the decision to unfollow them for other reasons and that. that was just the Final Straw.

but i think that’s it…? im so petty + impulsive (deadly combo) at times that maybe i did unfollow over a TES opinion another time but i can’t remember hgufuhfhxdfh

____

9.) Most disliked character(s)? Why?

OOF this is a hard one, ill list the ones that come to mind rn;

molag bal. needs no explanation

darren guitar or whatever his name is. im sorry to anyone who likes him but i just.. can’t. he’s so obnoxious. he was toned down in summerset, probably because different people were writing him if i had to guess but in the main and daggerfall covenant questline? awful. his goddamn womanizing jokes at every second of the day was “kim, there’s people that are dying” at its finest.literally one or two “haha ladies amirite fellow man ;)/haha ladies amirite……… lady ;)” jokes can be.. bearable albeit still annoying but there was so much more than that. or they were so obnoxiously written that it seemed to be more frequent than in actuality, either way, darren guitar? 0/10also my view of him hasnt gotten better since someone sent me a rude ask about how darren had more personality than prince naemon in-game due to me joking about how i don’t like him and then subsequently blocked me for being irritated about the rudeness of the ask + the fact that im 99% sure they were the anon that appeared in my fucking inbox defending darren guitar every single time i breathed a single word about him

i completely forgot he existed until you listed him as disliked and now i hate him even more. that fucking. bard from the bannered mare. the one that harassed carlotta until you told him to fuck off. i hate that dude. always have

abnur tharn. mildly obnoxious with some amusing lines until you find out what he did to queen ayrenn like. small dick mannimarco joke is now renounced, little man. Perish.my view on Estre is Complicated because she’s a really neat character and villain and ranks as a favorite in the latter department but from like, a moral standpoint i loathe her.also while it wasn’t like. pelidil levels of shittiness i’m not fond of how she hurt naemon– but then again……. now that i think of it, i really don’t know what’d she COULD do other than keep him in the absolute dark until he inevitably gets caught up in the Shitshow otherwise. i wouldn’t suppose naemon to be 100% willing to join in her efforts or even keep completely quiet about them if she did decide to talk to him about it or let him know; and for all we know, she could’ve planned to do so eventually in some way– but the suddenness of the AD hero’s infiltration of the veiled heritance probably ruined any semblance of a plan she could’ve had. so on second thought, even from a “naemon is a perfect being and i will protect him with my life and loathe all who hurt him” standpoint, i don’t dislike her too much. let’s just reduce estre to like.. honorable mentions on my “disliked characters” list then lmao(also “moral standpoint” as if queen ayrenn is anything close to the pinnacle of absolute morality. estre is objectively worse on that front, though, so i suppose i still stand by that)

speaking of which i really… don’t like pelidil. again, moral standpoint. and “naemon is a perfect being and i will protect him with my life and loathe all who hurt him” standpoint. otherwise, he’s a neat villain and the quest in which you cut him down was one of the more impressive quests in the game IMO, or even in the entire game series. good build-up.

this is getting too long so i’ll cut it there, that’s all the characters that come to mind rn anyways hfhgdhg

____

10.) Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

hmmmmmm

i guess if you view it in such a way, liking him is kind of unpopular– while there’s still a lot of those who even if not actively talking about him as a character, have praised his character/took his side/whatever, there’s also a good amount who don’t. not really in considering him a poorly written character, but rather from a (sorry to bring this phrase up so much so far) moral standpoint.

also, considering him in a semi-unironic “he did nothing wrong” way, which i do, is kind of unpopular– and i can understand that, in some ways. i dont think him snapping at the scene of the orrery was under his 100% control nor was anything subsequent, but there’s still the fact that he still is in an “i deserve the throne, fuck off” mindset in coldharbour, which, unless he’s STILL affected by the mantle and/or the orrery, is obviously a negative change in viewpoint compared to the “i’ll swallow my bitterness and remain loyal to my sister and the dominion, she is the rightful queen and i am just her shadow” you saw prior.

granted, i’d argue that even then, you have to consider the influence that pelidil had over him prior (as some have accurately put it before– whispered poison into his ear). especially with the fact that naemon’s quite young for an elf at… 26? around that age-range. i dont think altmer’s minds work in the way that, say, hobbits do, in that they age slower and this includes their mental capability, decision-making, etc.. (they obviously don’t) BUT, compared to an elf with more experience, there’s a bit of an… imbalance there. pelidil WAS the one who served naemon instead of the other way around so you’d figure the opposite if anything, but again, naemon = impressionable and emotionally vulnerable at the time.

anyways, got off-topic; my point was that naemon, when you consider the influence that pelidil and any other secretly heritance people that interacted with him, even when you use the fact that he still seems “corrupted” in coldharbour to frame him as bad… that ain’t it. there’s also the fact that he is being tortured, at that moment. big part of it. he PROBABLY isn’t in the right state of mind, to put it simply. but then again, i mean, one could still argue a whole “cool motive, still murder” take on it, so whatever. i dont know man ghfghduhbdfg

YIKES i rambled, holy shit. sorry. but otherwise, i dont think i have too many? there’s not much in the prince naemon…. sub-fandom, at least not enough to be able to render one opinion as unpopular compared to the next

(and i. Guess that headcanoning him as trans definitely has the potential to be unpopular. but i dont really talk about it or “enforce” it much other than off-hand comments that might imply such, drawing him with top surgery scars, etc.. so it hasn’t exactly been given any room to be considered remotely unpopular. haven’t gotten anon hate, snide comments, etc.. about any of it at all so it’s cool. but i’ve brought it up because… you know how fandoms are; if there was more to the prince naemon “fandom”, theoretically, it would be and therefore kind of IS an unpopular opinion. “does your arm hurt from reaching cassius” ok look, i just felt like i needed to provide one more unpopular opinion about naemon and i couldn’t figure out any other than that. but yes. yes, hurts a little)

____

23.) Unpopular character you love?

unpopular as in commonly disliked, or unpopular in… amount of people that like them? with the latter, it’s def naemon. i love him with all my heart gfigufhgdugdfh but then again who didn’t know that

with the former… hm. the thing is a lot of characters disliked in this fandom are disliked with good reason IMO– nevermind. almalexia. not to open any #diskhorse wounds but almalexia’s one of them ghdfhguhg jot that down

and i’ve heard some talk that veya is kind of unpopular, what with the recent summerset developments? yeah, fuck that, veya’s one of my favorites. this fandom (or. any fandom lets be real) has an awful tendency to praise any goddamn male character’s flaws or “negative” depth as redeemable character complexity and something that can be looked past, and yet, you see even REMOTELY the same amount if not more character depth in a female character and they’re hated. pointing this out is nothing new but it’s truly just…. something to behold.

and on that note im just going to renounce my prior statement of “a lot of characters disliked in this fandom are disliked with good reason” that’s the dumbest shit i’ve ever said. or perhaps an addendum stating that it’s only applicable to male characters is more in order? or that it’s the opposite for male characters: liked with bad reason. or… liked with over-exaggerated reason disproportionate to the actual amount of depth, complexity, and/or likeability said character actually has, paired with hatred for female characters with the same amount of complexity. “bruh don’t you obsess over prince naemon–” Yeah And What the Fuck Of It

anyways moving on sorry i got distracted hgdfgyfgh. that’s all the characters that come to mind? disregarding characters that are unpopular in an unappreciated sort of way rather than a disliked way, i really dont have a lot

____

salty fandom (elder scrolls) opinions

#ask memes #time to do the other ones #asks #long post #ramblings #thanks again!!!!

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xxxdragonfucker69xxx · 8 years ago

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walpurgisnacht weddings

You are one who has sold her soul to the devil.

You had a good reason for it, I’m sure. You burned for vengeance, or you needed something to get you through another night, or maybe you even felt some sick love for that old thing. You can hardly remember anymore, though you remember the moment vividly: a contract, a ceremony, a kiss. The devil is your husband now, and you are a witch.

It is Walpurgisnacht.

Tonight is the Witches’ Sabbath, when they gather to cavort with fairies and spectres and other dark powers. The devil himself will be here soon, and you will come before him. He will ask what you have done this year, and you will tell him. You will not be able not to speak. All the witches will take turns, and others may interject during your story to clarify what they did, but you will tell him everything. Those flashback stories comprise the majority of play in Walpurgisnacht Weddings.

To create your character, consider: your name, your appearance, and your relation to the villagers. Is your name something like “Agatha up on the hill”, or is it “Hildegard von Hexenhammer”? Are you gnarled and elderly, or unnaturally youthful? Do you live on the outskirts of society, feared and reviled, or are you the matriarch of half a dozen clans? You may name up to four Bonds, the things that you care about and the context in which you care about them.

Then divide 2 points between Familiar, Treasure, Curse, and Gift. Each of these is something your husband has given you, in return for your loyal service and many sacrifices. Familiars are demonic spirits in the shape of animals (or stranger things) to accompany and serve you. Treasures are enchanted objects, like broomsticks that fly and houses that walk. Curses are the meat and drink of many witches: they are the bad things you can do to other people. Gifts are things that are good for a short time, but either need continued feeding or make things worse when they expire. Any given one of these is on a scale from 1 to 3.

Familiar

A small animal which is intelligent and can talk but has no other powers. Overall loyal but may have its own agenda, such as plotting your downfall or stealing the good cat food

An intelligent and speaking animal with minor powers, such as sharing its senses with you or turning invisible or a larger animal with general utility such as a nightmare horse or black dog or a familiar in a stranger form, such as an impeccable butler or a speaking flame

A familiar that can, in times of need, manifest major powers such as growing tenfold and becoming invincible or retrieving your soul from beyond death

Treasure

A household object with minor utility, such as stones that suck away poison or mirrors that compliment and advise you

An object with major utility, such as a broomstick that can carry you cross the sky or a castle that walks of its own volition

An item of great power, such as a mirror that can scry across the entire kingdom or a cauldron that can raise the dead

Curse

Minor inconveniences, such as curdling milk or mild illnesses up to death of livestock and foretold death in certain circumstance, across a household.

Sickness and misfortune across an entire village or major problems, like being transformed into an animal or rendered invisible and inaudible, for a single person

A curse of terrible power, such as turning everyone in a castle into inanimate objects or drawing all of a town’s children to you and into the side of a mountain

Gifts

Preternatural skill for up to a year and a day, after which you must pay for more or youth while a certain condition is met or a certain sacrifice is upheld at least yearly

Healing of a life-threatening wound in exchange for another life or conditional immortality or other power

The granting of nearly any wish

At this point it may be useful to clarify the nature of Gifts and Curses. Each Gift or Curse is a specific ability: Curse 2 doesn’t grant you the ability to rain any sickness or misfortune on a village, it gives you the ability to specifically inflict chickenpox on the town or specifically turn someone you touch into a pig. If you want a new Curse or Gift or Familiar or Treasure, or if you want to increase the power of one you have already, you will have to speak with your husband.

Find an unholy place (your own house may do, if you have invested dark power in it). Wait until midnight. Draw the sigils, burn the incense, bleed the blood. Wait. The devil will come to you then. He will not appear in the circle, as you might have been led to believe. He will be sitting behind you, smoking a pipe, as if he had been there all along. Or you will hear the door shut, and whirl around to find him shedding his coat. His head may be that of a goat, or a flaming skull, or a flaming goat’s skull. He may be a tall and formless shadow, or a handsome young man. You’ll know him when you see him. You may speak with him then.

The devil is your husband, and he is your master, and he will make sure you know it.

You may ask him for something. He will ask you for something. (Gifts are particularly expensive, though if you are bargaining on behalf of another that person will pay instead.) Sometimes this will be something simple, like a drowned baby. Sometimes he will ask for something dear to you: one of your Bonds. He will reach into your heart and twist, and that Bond will become his. The love you had for your daughter will cool and shrivel into fear that she might surpass you. The dancing that brought you joy will recede in your mind until it is only an obsession, that you must prove yourself to be the best dancer around. After that you may consecrate this new pact in whatever form he deems suitable, or you may flee. It doesn’t really matter to him. He will laugh either way.

When the devil has taken all your Bonds, when you care about nothing that is not him, when the way you feel towards the world is only the way he feels towards the world, you are no longer a witch. You are no longer a person. You are a puppet on his finger, and at Walpurgisnacht he will take you away to be his bride forever.

At this point it may be useful to clarify something else: the devil doesn’t care what you do.

The priests and pastors and scared villagers think you delight in evil, and perhaps you do. They believe you must worm your way into your husband’s good graces by spreading chaos and misery, and maybe that is what you are trying to do. But even if, on Walpurgisnacht, you tell a story of adopting orphans and kittens and helping old ladies cross the road? Even if you tell him a story about sitting in your cottage all year and perfecting your cheesemaking technique? The devil will hear your story, and he will smile.

You don’t know what the devil wants. Surely he wants terrible things. Maybe you are causing those terrible things to happen, just by being a witch. There are many witches who believe this, and decide to embrace evil if they’re going to cause it anyways. But maybe he is content to know that one day you will be his. Maybe he doesn’t want terrible things at all.

Whatever you’re doing, it’s what the devil wanted.

like so many of these games idk if this is playable but i think its achieved the vibe i want it to and im perfectly happy with leaving it as unplayable art piece a la beginners guide

ive never watched ancient magus bride but i did like look it up on wikipedia and its kinda fucked up but i liked the atmosphere. other inspirations include howls moving castle and never quite free by the mountain goats, which i had on loop all through writing this

i tried to include something like discworld witches but in the end theyre basically antithetical to what this is about

someone told me to make a game about bargaining with the scorpion inside you and this is partially that

will wizardry week ever end? is there any end to the ways i can slice and categorize magic? no

#tatterpigs #tatterpigsgiving #walpurgisnacht weddings

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clusterfuccc · 7 years ago

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im having an awfully strange day today

do you ever have one of those days where it’s not like a depression day that renders you incapable of leaving bed, or a day thats riddled with anxiety which gives you a general discomfort

but like a day where nothing seems satisfying

im sitting in my car after sitting through a particularly boring lecture that i struggled to pay attention to and im trying to be excited about planning my day

and my tuesdays are usually days i really look forward to

sure school sucks, but i see my brother in the morning for carpool, suffer through two classes, sit and smoke with my best friend in between classes, then after i don’t have to deal with work and i usually see my boyfriend then go to karaoke. and i loves me the karaoke.

but today is just a little bit different

im just so unenthused about all of it idk

im supposed to be going to the gym before i see gus and im just not feeling it

and granted i never really “feel” it, but most days getting there is pretty bearable

and im trying to have this inner debate with myself

like maybe if i do go work out, i will feel more energized and ready to do things

or it will wear me out enough to where spending a day relaxing wouldn’t seem like a waste

and once i get there and i’m in the zone i feel good but getting there. fuck. getting there is hard

it just seems like too much

maybe i’ve just generally lost momentum and as the end of the semester approaches im hitting a fucking wall

but thinking about going out drinking tonight seems too taxing

but i also do want to be drunk and enjoying myself

but sitting at home drinking isn’t stimulating enough

but i dont feel as though i have the capacity to interact with people currently

but then again thinking about sitting in a low demand environment, like shannons house, getting high and watching tv isnt stimulating enough and that will make me feel as though i’ve wasted my day off

maybe i’m just really craving doing things outside

the weather was amazing for like 2.5 days and it spoiled me and made me miss being able to drink a beer on the porch and listen to music

maybe i’m just bummed that i can’t do that and thats why is seems to be the only appealing thing rn

idk

maybe i should just do all the things i was going to do anyway even if they won’t be as enjoyable

so ill hit the gym and then clean my house and then see the boy and then hit the crown and maybe feel perpetually drained by all of it

or maybe i could skip the gym, leave my house duties for another day, pig out on some food and sit at a seedy tavern and flip through music on the jukebox

i really just think i’m sick of this weather

i feel so off today

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concussed-to-pieces · 8 years ago

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Survival

Fandom: Jurassic World

Pairing: Owen Grady/Unnamed OFC

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Here it is! My first Thirst Party Saturday foray into another fandom! Tagging @toxiicpop naturally and I'd like to give an enormous thank you to @im-an-octopus, their Chris Pratt character headcanons (the Pratt Pack, if you will) are incredibly thought out and articulate. Enjoy!

[This takes place essentially in the middle of the Indominus incident, and goes from there.]

He’d seen the large body from quite a distance away, but the smaller form crumpled beside it hadn’t been apparent until he went almost full circle. Owen jerked up the brake, fumbling to get his seat belt off and quickly slinging his rifle over his shoulder.

There were strategically placed feeding stations close to the Gyrosphere path in the Valley to encourage more animal visibility, she was one of the volunteers who stocked the dry feed and ferns for the Apatosaurus herd. Sometimes he saw her assisting with the one juvenile Apatosaurus and the squirmier Gallimimus in the petting zoo area. That was all he knew. He couldn’t even remember her name, he honestly wasn’t sure if he had ever known it to begin with.

The first thing that got his attention when he opened the car door was the sound of quiet crying. So she wasn’t dead, then. Probably just in shock. “Hey!” He hissed, trying to keep his voice down as he was unsure of whether the Indominus was still close by. “Hey, are you alright?”

She didn’t give any indication that she had heard him and when Owen rounded the long neck of the animal he saw her clinging to it, sobbing pitifully like a child. The sight made his throat ache and he squared his shoulders, irritated with himself.

He crept closer, doing his best to rustle and make his presence known through exaggerated footfalls and coughing once or twice. She paid him no attention, her focus wholly on the huge animal that was currently dying. Owen bore no ill will at being ignored in this instance though, remembering all too clearly the sting of sadness and even worse, the feeling that he’d failed when a raptor out of his pack clutch didn’t survive. Poor Foxtrot.

“-didn’t deserve that, y-you were always the sw-sweetest thing.” She hiccupped between sobs. Owen noticed her comparatively tiny fingers pressed over a gaping slash wound in the Apatosaur’s neck. The herbivore gave a pained grunt of breath, blood bubbling from the gash. “It’s okay, sweetheart. No one w-will be angry with you if you sleep now, okay?” Her shoulders shook with the effort of holding back tears so she could reassure the giant animal. “You can sleep. You were so brave, k-kept me safe from whatever that was. Sleep, sweetheart.” She whispered, pulling herself closer so she could rest her forehead on the scaly skin. “It’s over now.”

After several seconds of its breathing becoming slower and more labored, the Apatosaurus shuddered and went totally still. She couldn’t hold back her tears any longer at that, tightening her hold on the creature’s neck and burying her face. Owen felt like he was witnessing something he shouldn’t be, shifting back and forth awkwardly for a minute before finally tapping her on the shoulder.

She shook her head. “She died for me.” She mumbled. “She kept me safe from that…whatever that was. The huge one.”

“They named it the Indominus Rex. I guess callin’ it the ‘Shitshow Waiting To Happen’ Rex was a little too on the nose.” Owen didn’t know why the hell he even said anything about it. She was clearly emotionally compromised and not in a listening mood.

“That’s what they’ve been making, isn’t it?” Her question startled him. He hadn’t known they were cooking that giant lizard up, how the hell would she know? Owen wasn’t exactly the most social guy but he liked to think he had a decent finger on the pulse of the island. “In the lab, that’s what they were all so happy about.” Her voice was shaky. “A couple of the inside nerds came into our break room the other day, told a bunch of us that we were going to be rendered useless in a matter of weeks.”

Owen’s brow furrowed. “Why the hell…?”

“They said a crane had been proved to do our job just as well, and if a crane gets broken it’s not counted as a casualty.” She pulled away from the Apatosaurus, scrubbing her dirty hands on her shorts. “They said it would help prevent accidents, take down operating costs if they didn’t have so many of us little khaki-clad park rangers running around.” She sounded bitter and Owen didn’t blame her for one second. “I’m sorry, I’m just...could I possibly hitch a ride with you back to the fence? I should be able to get to the resort on my own from there.” Her body was still shuddering a little from her lengthy crying jag but she was obviously trying to put on a brave face. Whether for him or in honor of her deceased charge, Owen wasn’t quite sure.

He got the feeling that he would regret this, but he couldn’t in good conscience drop her off essentially in the middle of nowhere to make her own way. Definitely not with that big beasty roaming free. “Listen. I know you’re mournin�� your charges right now, so it would make me feel a lot better if you just stuck with me and I could get you to the resort in one piece.” He tried to gentle his voice without seeming patronizing. “I don’t know where the I. Rex is and if somethin’ happens to you, somethin’ that my ass could have prevented…” He trailed off.

“It killed most of the herd, then it took off. I heard it coming and it was just…I thought it was Rexy at first but the color was all wrong, and then I saw how long its arms were. It was practically on top of me by the time I realized I should run and it was too late. I…are you going to kill it?” She asked hesitantly.

Owen grimaced. “Masrani an’ the powers that be are a little leery of dumping that kind of money down the drain. Me, on the other hand? If I can kill it, if it can be killed, I’m definitely killing it.” He doubted a creature that unstable could be subdued without emptying a clip or twenty into its skull. He held out his hand. “Hop into the truck, ma’am. I’ll bring you home safe.”

...

That promise was lofty as hell and honestly, I should have known better than to make it, he thought ruefully as he stood in front of her, arms spread. Blue was staring him down with Delta and Echo flanking them. As if the clusterfuck with the helicopter through the Aviary and the subsequent panicking vacationers hadn’t been enough bullshit for one day. As if the I. Rex itself wasn’t a living, breathing clusterfuck all on its own.

The missing presence of Charlie was like a quiet chorus of wrongwrongwrong in the back of his mind. He wasn’t used to seeing less of his pack and he whickered quietly in his throat, hearing Delta mimic the noise. Blue continued to focus on Owen and he realized that she was the only one who still had a camera strapped around her head.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Owen inched his hand out. Murmuring reassurances the whole time and making sure the beta Velociraptor could clearly see his hand, his fingers finally touched the buckle on the side of her jaw. Blue chuffed at him and Owen found himself smiling a little. “Shh, easy. Just me.” He said quietly. “Good girl, good girl.” The woman at his side moved just a fraction closer to Echo. Owen barely caught the motion out of the corner of his eye. “Stay still please. I like my hand the way it is.” He said in the same calm, quiet tone.

“Sorry, used to the herbivores.” She apologized, her own voice deliberately gentle. To Owen’s surprise Echo made a noise that was usually associated with playful behavior, a warbling little chirp. The volunteer didn’t seem particularly afraid of the raptors despite having clearly witnessed the fact that Owen wasn’t the one in charge of them anymore. He couldn’t decide if that was stupid or not.

“Easy girl. Let’s get this off, okay?” Owen pressed down carefully on the buckle and unclipped the straps, letting the camera drop to the ground. Blue clicked warily at him, watching as he eased his hand back just as slow. “There, that’s better, right?” He continued, doing his best to keep the beta calm. “Good girl. I’m sorry about Charlie, Blue. Thanks for not rippin’ a chunk out of Barry. Delta, you’re gettin’ extra scratch time with Barry for tearin’ Hoskins apart.” He was sort of rambling at this point, wondering how long this truce would last before his girls lit him up.

Blue hadn’t stopped staring at him. Echo chittered loudly, seeming to try and pull Owen’s attention. He knew better than to glance her way, very familiar with how his pack hunted.

“I know you’re there, Echo. I’m busy at the moment. Gotta’ keep my eyes on the boss.” Owen felt the ground shudder and he was not ashamed to admit that he lost his breath for a second or twelve when the I. Rex rounded the corner of Main Street. The sheer mass of the creature was terrifying by itself, never mind that it had been specifically engineered to be scary (ala the Carnotaurus motif; Owen was honestly surprised that they hadn’t given the thing blatant horns on its skull instead of the smaller protrusions). The jaw structure designed to crush, the spines that were obviously cosmetic. What the hell did a fake dinosaur in solitary confinement need defensive spikes for anyhow?

“Imagine that one, fraction of the size. Deadly, intelligent, able to hide from the most advanced military technology.”

Owen could still barely wrap his head around the fact that Hoskins had thought this was a good idea. Not only that, but good enough to pour inGen’s resources into indiscriminately. Sure, he’d had a bit of a clue that he wasn’t being hired to train Velociraptors to balance balls on their noses or clap like goddamn seals, but if he had known that the end game was a fake T. Rex with goddamn cloaking, social anxiety and an incurable affection for cranes he doubted he would have taken the job.

The Indominus Rex rumbled at the Velociraptors. Owen could practically hear it pitching a tantrum, why haven’t you eaten them yet?! Blue turned to hiss back, snapping her jaws and surprising the hell out of Owen with her defiance. For the first time since Delta chased them back out of the Innovations Center he felt a faint glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe.

“Pointers for working with large carnivores?” She muttered out of the side of her mouth. It was a relief to realize that she wasn’t scared brainless. Shitless maybe, but she hadn’t fainted and her gears were still turning. The hope burned a little brighter.

“Avoid doing so. Barring that, be really fast and good at hiding. Mask your scent.” Owen replied. “This thing…it isn’t exactly well-adjusted. Little to no training, not like my raptors. Hell, Rexy is more trained than this thing.”

“Well you could have just said that we were fucked.”

“I don’t know if we are yet.” Owen said evenly, watching Blue interact in a more and more hostile manner with the genetic mishmash towering over them. “We’ve got a prayer here. I think Blue took me back as alpha, s’long as my girls can keep it together we have a shot.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Owen caught the wave of hysterical laughter that wanted to break free, the barest snicker escaping him. “I meant the raptors.”

“Rude.” The fact that she could be glib at a time like this was unexpectedly comforting. Owen eased his hand down and wrapped his fingers around her own, squeezing lightly. She squeezed back after a moment. “Thank you. Sorry.”

Blue screeched abruptly and the I. Rex roared furiously in reply, swiping the beta into the wall of the nearby Starbucks. The Velociraptor slumped to the ground and Owen barely kept from screaming, biting down on his fist. Blue!

Echo and Delta both turned to face the Indominus, angrily chirruping and snapping at the large creature. Owen, doing his damnedest to wrestle himself back under control, felt the volunteer's grip tighten on his hand again. He didn’t have the luxury of going to pieces right now, dammit. He still had his rifle. He still had two of his girls. His eyes narrowed and he sucked in a breath, then emitted a piercing whistle.

The raptors immediately went on the offensive, clawing and tearing their way up the sides of the Indominus. Owen gave the woman a quick push towards a small merchandise kiosk and she bolted for the building, leaving him with the remainder of his pack and the giant creature in the middle of Main Street.

Hell of a showdown. Owen smiled grimly, slinging his rifle around and setting the stock firmly before taking his first shot. Circling the massive beast, firing whenever he had a clear line of sight, Owen did everything that he could to put dents in the thing’s armor so his girls would have a better (albeit slim) chance of tearing it apart.

Hell of a way to die. His brow furrowed and he pulled the trigger again.

When Delta was flung through the Winston’s Steakhouse window and promptly roasted alive in a burst of flame from the still-active grill, when the Indominus crushed Echo in her jaws and tossed her aside, Owen felt his guts seize. His fingers grew clumsy as he reloaded and he almost dropped his rifle, blinking back the tears. He’d raised these animals, God damn it, imprinted on them, grown with them. He thought of the woman who cared for the Apatosaurus herd, putting her own sorrow on the back burner to assure the long-necked herbivore that it was alright to leave.

“No one will be mad at you.”

There would be time to mourn, assuming he got out of this alive. Time to grieve the loss of his pack. But at this moment there was no room for sorrow.

Owen made a mad dash for the relative shelter of the kiosk, but to his horror when he vaulted over the counter he found the tiny store deserted. Oh no. He heard a loud, rattling inhale behind him and he froze, listening to the I. Rex tramp around outside. The huge jaw of the creature banged into the side of the kiosk, tossing stuffed dinosaurs and T-shirts onto the young man. He was well and truly screwed, he realized as the Indominus’ talons broke through the side of the kiosk and gouged the floor in an attempt to tear him apart.

He pressed himself against the opposite wall, wishing that he could close his eyes and open them again to find that this was all a bad dream. His girls were gone, and he was about to be torn limb from limb by some bastardized horror show of a dinosaur. His only solace in that moment was knowing that he’d fulfilled his promise to that volunteer. Because obviously she was safe, she was probably boarding the ferry right now.

The Indominus isn’t moving its feet but the ground is shaking, why is the ground shaking if the Indominus isn’t moving?

Owen could feel the thunder of colossal footsteps and he saw a flare go sailing by to bounce off the side of the creature attempting to eat him alive. His eyes widened. Oh Jesus, she didn’t-

The trumpeting roar that Rexy let out was teeth-rattling, he had heard her before of course but always from a safe distance. Being up close and personal with the park’s goat-fed matriarch was an experience he could have lived without. He caught the barest glimpse of the volunteer, standing practically beneath the T. Rex. Holy shit, she did. His flicker of admiration was short-lived as Rexy and the Indominus met each other head-on almost directly in front of his hideout.

Owen would have nightmares later on, about being crushed to death or torn apart when the T. Rex ended up crashing through the side of his hideout. In the moment though he wildly debated just jamming his rifle into the animal’s gaping maw and firing until she decided to latch onto him. At least he’d go down fighting like his girls.

But the Indominus dragged Rexy back out without giving him the chance to act on his crazy idea, and Owen bolted from the stand seconds before it collapsed on top of him.

Adrenaline give me fucking strength!

He careened to a halt beside the woman who had taken up shelter by a large volcanic boulder on display, unsure of whether he ought to kiss her or scream at her because what the fuck, the T. Rex?! She caught his hand and clung to it tightly, which sort of made the decision a little simpler.

To Owen’s horror he suddenly realized that the Indominus appeared to be gaining the advantage, flooring Rexy and pinning her head and neck with its claws. The I. Rex opened those fearsome jaws, leisurely moving in to rip Rexy’s throat out and Owen turned his head away, refusing to watch another animal die at the proverbial hands of this beast. She buried her face in his chest, tears soaking his shirt as she seemed to grasp that Rexy had been their last-ditch effort, and the odds were not exactly in their favor.

A faint sound caught Owen’s attention, making him jerk his eyes back up. He hardly dared to hope, but-

“Blue.” He breathed, recognizing her distinctive, ‘coughing’ call. The raptor, coming from the far end of Main Street, quickly picked up speed and vaulted off of Rexy’s prone form to fling herself at the face of the Indominus. The I. Rex brayed in confusion, swinging wildly in an attempt to shake off the Velociraptor and not appearing to notice when the T. Rex rolled back onto her feet. But it sure as hell noticed a second later when Rexy caught it around the throat and slammed it up against the wall nearby. Sparks popped and hissed as elaborate lighting fixtures were destroyed, showering the two humans hiding behind the rock with glass and other small debris.

Owen gripped the volunteer’s arm and fled across the plaza into the larger gift shop, knowing that the building would at least provide them some cover. When Blue crashed through the glass in front of them and immediately got back to her feet he wanted to holler, to tell her she was doing a ‘great damn job!’ But he stifled the urge so as not to distract the only surviving member of his pack. The beta had more than enough problems to worry about without being made victim to his emotional, human responses.

Owen felt a faint twinge of remorse when Rexy forced the Indominus into the side of Margaritaville, a little amused with himself for thinking about drinks at a time like this. But if they survived this endeavor, he knew exactly where he would go. The volunteer gripped his arm tightly, her breath coming in panicky gasps. She didn’t seem able to look away from the clash of the titans going on mere feet in front of them.

Rexy tossed the I. Rex into the metal fencing surrounding the lagoon, sending a portion of it crashing into the water. The Indominus floundered back to its feet, that terrifying, discordant roar echoing on Main Street as it stood. Blue screeched loudly in reply and Rexy opened her own jaws wide to bellow.

In all the chaos Owen had forgotten about the denizen of the lagoon. Mosasaurs hunt close to the surface of the water...fish, turtles, smaller Mosasaurs. The aquatic predator leaped headlong at the I. Rex through the freshly-made gap in the fence, sinking her teeth into the creature’s neck. The Indominus flailed for a split second before being dragged bodily into the lagoon.

There was a long moment of silence, and then the haunting, low frequency call of the feeding Mosasaurus faintly reached Owen’s ears. He exhaled the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding in a long, slow whoosh.

The volunteer let go of his arm, fumbling at her waist for something as Rexy stared at Blue. The raptor chittered uneasily at the larger animal and Owen took in the long-scarred wounds on Rexy’s neck beneath all the fresh ones. Velociraptor claw marks, he was sure of it. But how could that have happened?

She was from the first attempt Grady, it ain’t like that shit went well.

A snapping noise pulled his attention to the woman beside him and he was horrified to see a now-burning flare held tightly in her hand. The noise and light had also gotten Rexy’s attention, distracting her from the Velociraptor. Owen felt a wave of gratitude almost overcome the panic he felt, she had (intentionally or otherwise) saved his last raptor. But before he could so much as open his mouth the woman took off at a dead sprint back across Main Street. Paddock Nine, Owen thought numbly, watching her raise the clunky walkie-talkie to her mouth. She’s going to try and get her back in her cage. Jesus fucking Christ.

Blue chirped uncertainly at him, turning to watch Rexy tromp off after the woman. Owen’s voice shook as he called to Blue, snagging her attention so she wouldn’t give chase. “Good girl. Jesus Christ Blue, I think you’re the only one who’s ever teamed up with a T. Rex and lived to talk about it.” He extended his hand, clicking his tongue in an imitation of his training clicker when she didn’t immediately go into an aggressive stance. “Good girl, shit I wish I had somethin’ to give you. You done damn good, Blue.” He praised, chuckling incredulously.

She croaked at him and he mimicked the noise, wishing now more than ever that they had dedicated less time to getting the raptors under their thumb and more time to understanding them. He would have happily handed over every one of his paychecks from inGen if it meant he could have communicated better with his girls. Blue gave one last fond-sounding whiffle of breath and headed off in the direction of the Innovations building. Owen had to blink back the tears again as he heard her call for her deceased pack mates, the familiar grunts and snaps going unanswered in the night.

He finally shook himself bodily and urged his exhausted legs to carry him across the square, giving the area of destroyed fencing a wide berth. That would be just his luck. Paddock Nine. He picked up speed despite his weariness, the fear finally seeming to hit him. She’s alone with a fucking T. Rex and she’s unarmed, oh my God. Owen’s eyes narrowed and he began reloading his rifle as he ran. She had saved Blue. He would be damned if she died without him tearing at least a few holes in that T. Rex.

His frantic run was cut short as he came whipping down the long passageway between the paddocks and foggily noticed that Paddock Nine was in fact, closed up nice and tight. What really got his attention was the body curled against the wall on the opposite side, a walkie-talkie resting on the ground nearby.

“Hey!” He yelled, almost slipping on the smooth cement in his haste to reach her. “Shit, shit shit shit, no no, fuck c’mon, don’t do this shit to me.” He swore under his breath as he dropped to his knees.

She raised her face to look at him dazedly, her cheeks wet with tears. “I…”

“Fucking hell.” Owen wrapped her in a fierce hug, cutting off whatever else she might have said. “You gave me such a fucking scare, what the hell were you thinkin’?” He scolded, both irritated and relieved beyond measure.

“I didn’t…your raptors--I-I j-just…” Her voice petered out and she slid her arms beneath his own, digging her fingers into his vest. “I couldn’t w-w-watch that, n-not again.” She managed to sob. “M’ so sorry, I j-just--”

Owen hushed her, rubbing her back in slow, careful circles and letting her cry. “I didn’t mean t’ yell at you. I’m glad you’re safe.” He said quietly. “I owe you at least one debt of gratitude for savin’ my girl. Two, if you count savin’ my ass as worthwhile.”

“God Mr. Grady, I’m fucking exhausted.” She said bluntly, making him chuckle. “I am…I am clearly out of shape, Jesus Christ. Rexy running buddy is a hell of a motivator.”

“So I saw. We’re lucky she’s well-fed and curious.” Owen got to his feet and held out his hand. “I’m lucky that you’re so smart.” He said a little quieter, almost to himself. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t had brushes with death before, but never with quite so many teeth.

“No, you’re lucky I’m too dumb to think about things before I do them. Otherwise I would have been scared stiff.” She corrected, grabbing his hand and letting him haul her upright. “Holy shit, I can’t even believe we did it. Wow.” Her fingers clenched in the fabric of his shirt and she swayed on her feet, stumbling a step.

“Whoa, easy now.” Owen steadied her, sliding an arm beneath her shoulders. “Easy. We’ll get back to the plaza, okay? See if we can grab some grub. I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking starvin’.”

“That sounds incredible.” She murmured, putting one foot in front of the other at his gentle urging. “Sleep after that, yeah?”

“Hell yeah. We are gonna’ sleep like the dead.” Owen wasn’t sure if he would ever sleep again after everything that had happened. “We’re sticking together though, I don’t know if the volunteer bunkhouse has been compromised. Plus, I ain’t exactly gonna’ leave you alone out here.”

“Thank you.” She suddenly let out a hysterical little giggle. “I outran a T. Rex.”

“Twice!” Owen added, the insanity of that statement hitting him. “You were phenomenal, I’ve never seen shit like that. I thought I was dead. I hoped you got to the ferry and that I’d bought you enough time and instead you came back, whippin’ that flare at the Indominus like a crisp Washington at a stripper. Jesus.”

She snorted with laughter, knocking the side of her head into his chest. “We’re just lucky there was still someone in Central Control.”

“And that you were smart enough to think of setting up a real-life Godzilla fight. Maybe a little further away from me next time though, okay?” Owen joked.

“I’ll do my best.”

He found himself gripping her a little tighter than he needed to as he made a beeline for the shattered remains of Margaritaville, carefully stepping through the destroyed front of the bar. “What’s your opinion on strawberries?”

…

The MVU drove like a boat and Owen was a nervous wreck about his motorcycle tumbling out of the back, doing his damnedest to avoid every bump on the road. The Scrambler was kind of his prized possession. A grin snuck across his face at the memory of riding through the forest with his girls. Hunting together like a real, honest-to-goodness raptor pack.

The grin faded as he remembered Charlie getting blown to pieces minutes later. At least I still have Blue. He wasn’t sure if raptors were intelligent to the point of understanding death, or whether Blue would keep looking for them forever. His heart sank a little at the idea of poor Blue calling for her pack.

We’re all that’s left. Dogs of war, like Hoskins said. He glanced over at the woman in the passenger seat. Her back was ramrod-straight, arms firmly wrapped around the bottles of tequila and miscellaneous provisions he’d rustled up. Well, dogs of war and one…volunteer of war. She stared straight ahead, jumping a little when he quietly said her name. “You alright? Almost home.”

“I’m okay. Just…kind of rattled.” She tried to smile at him.

“Almost there.” He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, noticing the sky pinking up overhead. “We’ll catch some Zs and then…shit, we gotta’ feed the whole damn island. I don’t know whether inGen is gonna’ send more troopers so I guess we’ve got a pretty big mission on our hands.”

“It’s the carnivores that will be the problem. Ninety-five percent of the herbivores are foragers anyway.” She dug her wallet out of her back pocket, searching for something in it. “Sharks for the Mosasaur, along with a giant bottle of Pepto because I bet that I. Rex gave it indigestion…goat for Rexy. Two goats for Rexy. Six goats for Rexy. Ferns for my girls and for the Anks and Gallies. Shit, what will we do about the Pterodactyls? Yes, I still have my access card. Okay. As long as the security protocols haven’t been messed with we should be fine.”

“And if they have?” Owen asked.

“I guess we’ll pray that there’s one nerd left in Central Control.”

He nodded, sighing in relief as the bungalow appeared in his headlights. “Jesus, home sweet home never looked so damn good. Food before bed?” She shook her head, her exhaustion putting itself on full display when she nearly tumbled out the door of the MVU. “Whoa, easy there!” Owen grabbed her arm to catch her, not letting go until she got both feet on the ground. “You got precious cargo, right? Have to be careful.” The excuse was flimsy and he knew it even as he nodded towards the tequila.

She nodded back, her eyes already half-closed. She was fading fast. Owen hurried through the motions of unlocking his door and he ushered her inside, probably nearly breaking the bottles of alcohol when he took them from her slack grip and essentially tossed them off to the side. She made a noise of protest and he hushed her again, leading her to the futon.

“I’ll grab you a sheet, get the fan going. Just take your boots off.” She obediently sat to undo her laces and he headed to the bathroom to find his barely-used second set of sheets.

This isn’t normally what happens when I bring a chick back to my place, Owen thought with a touch of amusement as he unfolded the sheet and snapped it over the edges of the futon. She was on the soft surface almost before he was done and Owen couldn’t keep from chuckling, pulling the flat sheet up over her shoulders. On an impulse he stroked her hair and he just barely heard her murmur, “good night, Mr. Grady.”

Guess I can make an exception.

…

He wasn’t sure what time he had gone to sleep, but when he was shaken awake the clock displayed nine sixteen. He groaned loudly, swatting at the hand on his shoulder. “Not yet, c’mon.” He snuggled back down into his pillow with a sigh, closing his eyes again. Wait, since when do I live with anyone?! His eyes shot open and he sat bolt upright, flinging the pillow off to the side. It was that woman, the volunteer, looking disheveled. Owen’s eyes narrowed for a minute as he stared silently at her. The events of the previous day came flooding back in suddenly and he dropped his face into his hands, groaning again. “Fuck, fuck fuck.”

“You have a…guest.” She said, raising an eyebrow.

“S’it Barry?” She shook her head. Owen peeled the sheet back and got to his feet, yawning and then pulling on his boots as an afterthought. Extra clothes could wait until he had shooed whatever bigwig on his doorstep off into the jungle where they belonged.

He opened the door, fully prepared to lean against the frame in the most insolent fashion he could muster up. So he almost fell off his porch when he realized who it was.

“Blue!” The Velociraptor stood at the bottom of the steps, cocking her head to the side and chirruping at him. “You…good girl, good girl!” Owen felt like he was going to burst with happiness. She came back. Something touched his hand and he quickly closed his fingers around it, wary of breaking eye contact with his beta.

The volunteer had gotten one of the rats from his fridge. “I assumed they were for her and not for breakfast,” The woman said in a wry whisper, “but if you'd like I could try to whip her up an omelet instead.”

“I think this will do just fine.” Then, “Blue! Eyes on me!” Owen said firmly, absolutely flush with pride when the raptor immediately straightened up, her attention on the rat in his hand. “You're the only one left now, girl. I guess that means I'm gonna' have to spoil you.” He tossed the rat to the deadly predator at the edge of his porch, smiling through his tears as he watched her quickly devour it. “Alright Blue, breakfast is over. Go!” He ordered, gesturing off towards the thick foliage. She hesitated for a moment, looking up at him and seeming confused. “Go on, Blue. It's alright.” He said, a little less firm. “I'll...I'll see you later, okay girl?” Owen was pretty sure she didn't understand the sentiment, but he could hope.

The Velociraptor purred at him and then bolted into the undergrowth on the outskirts of the little plot his residence rested on. Owen rubbed at his eyes, doing his best to keep himself together. The volunteer put a hand on his shoulder and he felt his self-control slide a fraction. “You're a good alpha. She'll be back.”

“I can't...God, I hope so.” Owen mumbled, “She's all I've got now.”

“She will.” She squeezed his shoulder and then stepped back. “Alright, we have a hell of a day ahead of us. Should we get started, Mr. Grady?”

“Call me Owen.” He didn't know why it mattered all of a sudden. She'd been calling him Mr. Grady since they'd met. “Please.”

“Okay...Owen.”

…

From Ankylosaurs to Suchomimus, Baronyx to Triceratops and everything in between, they worked their way through the paddocks and enclosures. Not for the first time Owen was immensely grateful for the automated systems that were in place, and the scientific advances that made cloning so stupid simple they wouldn't run out of meat and vegetation for months (resources permitting, naturally).

She kept him talking as they finally rattled along through the Apatosaurus field, which was a comfort in and of itself. He could tell she needed it too, her words fading a little once they came across the first huge carcass covered in noisily-squawking vultures and crows. He reached over the gear shift in the Jeep to rest his hand on her thigh for a second, pulling her attention back to him. “It's alright.” He said quietly.

She smiled at him, tears threatening to fall regardless. “We waste so much, you know? As humans. I wish...I'd love to have them back.” She murmured, gesturing over her shoulder.

“I'd give anythin' to have the memory of Charlie getting blown to bits turn out to be nothing but a bad dream,” Owen confessed, “but the truth is that neither of us are getting our girls back. All we can do is work to keep the survivors in good health and just...try to take care of each other, I guess.”

“I'm glad you're here, Mr.--Owen, sorry. I don't know what would have happened to me if you hadn't showed up.” She twiddled her fingers. “I’m glad that--oh, here we are!” She said hurriedly, patting his hand on the gearshift. “Right here, see?”

The far-off buzz of a small motor caught Owen’s attention while she was up in the tree and he quickly checked his rifle over. God only knew who might be coming. He knew if it was inGen they would be shit out of luck.

Owen breathed a sigh of relief when he realized it was Barry. The larger man’s four-wheeler skidded to a halt and he quickly dismounted. “Owen fucking Grady, you are a sight for sore eyes!” Barry exclaimed, hauling the other man in for a lung-collapsing hug.

“Hey man. Glad you’re okay.” Owen wheezed.

“I thought you were dead, Owen!” Barry held him at arm’s length, looking him over critically. “You look half-dead, or around that percentage. Merde.”

“Always know how to make a guy feel better, Barry.” Owen said wryly.

Barry laughed at that, rumpling Owen’s hair. “Not much sleep for either of us, yes? What are you doing out here, anyway?”

“I’ve got uh…guard duty.” Owen flicked a finger upwards at the tree. “We’ve been workin’ ourselves to the bone gettin’ the island fed, man. My whole body hurts. Pretty sure she’s in the same boat, but these herbivores are like her raptors.” Owen shrugged and Barry shielded his eyes, squinting up at the tree.

“Sorry Owen, she’s obviously too smart and adventurous for you. Hello again!” He called, waving at the woman. She waved back, yelling something in reply.

Owen chuckled at his friend’s antics, shoving his shoulder roughly. “Easy. We’ve had a hell of a night. That Mosasaur popped up in the absolute nick of time and--shit, that woman up there outran Rexy. Twice.” He said proudly.

“Careful Owen, I think you have a crush!” Barry teased.

“You’re damn fucking right I do!” Owen grinned. “I tell you what, the next time a good-looking gal outruns an apex predator for you, I’ll ask when the wedding is.”

Barry held up his hands in surrender, still smiling. “Fair enough.”

She dropped to the grass between the two of them, but before Owen could so much as get a word out she had bolted, heading for the rapidly-approaching form of an Apatosaurus. “Shirley!”

Barry snorted. “She even named them old lady names.”

“Hey, we can’t all be elite dolphin-raptor trainers. I’m tired to death of calling animals Sierra Hotel India Tango or whatever the fuck.”

“Our girls are gone, aren’t they?” Barry asked softly as they watched the woman practically cavort around the tree trunk legs of the huge herbivore. “I saw Echo, and I assume Delta. What was left of her, anyway.”

“Blue is…Blue’s what we have now.” Owen swallowed, the words thick in his throat. “After Charlie got…I mean, Delta and Echo fought hard but that giant fucker just…”

Barry jammed his hands into his pockets. “Fucking Hoskins.” He said finally.

“Delta got him.” Owen remembered the weird sensation of simultaneously being proud as hell and terrified when Delta latched down on Hoskins’ hand. He’d done that move a thousand times and to see it backfire on someone else…well, if he wasn’t respectful of the danger that came with the job before, he sure as heck was after that. “It was a sight.”

“My girl.” Barry shook his head. “She hated him from the start. It is fitting, I suppose.” He turned to look at Owen. “This is such a mess.”

“You said it.” Owen agreed. “All that research. All that effort, time and energy. So Vic could flush it at the first chance he got. We worked with those animals for two years.”

“I hear you, Owen. It is…it is difficult to understand men like Vic Hoskins. Especially when I don’t really want to.” Barry said bluntly. “Look at her with her big friend. No one normal who looks at that would think of making her twist that animal to do her bidding. They are better this way.”

Owen decided that changing the subject was in his best interest. Barry could use some good news. “Blue showed up for breakfast this morning.”

“Good! She is free-roaming then?”

“I don’t know if she knows that the others are gone yet, I think she may be looking for them. But yeah,” Owen nodded, “she’s all grown up now, I guess.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Barry murmured. “Let her be free before inGen comes swooping back in and starts ruining everything all over again.” He shook himself bodily after a few moments of brooding. “I have to get back to work. Some of the containment fences were damaged so I have been working with the young man in Central Control to get them back online. I will see you later, Owen.” He extended a hand to Owen, who pulled him into a hug instead.

“Take care of yourself, man.”

…

“So I know the dinosaurs don’t mind, and maybe you don’t mind. But I know for a fact that I probably smell like a landfill at this point.” She said out of the blue as the vehicle trundled along the access road. “If there is a shower situation at your uh…cabin, trailer thing, I would-”

“It’s a bungalow.” Owen corrected, grinning when she stuck her tongue out at him. “Get it right, shit.”

“Oh my apologies, your highness.” She snickered. “I didn’t think you had a shower. You don’t look like the showering type.”

“You got me. I’d rather haul Ma’s old wash tub out into my front yard and share bathwater with the raptors.” Owen teased. “It’s a freein’ experience.”

“…Can I borrow a towel and a toothbrush, or do you share those with your pack too?”

“’Course I share ‘em with my pack. That’s why you’re welcome to ‘em.” Owen listened to her sputter, his grin widening. “Heck, you ask nice and I might even rustle up some clothes for you. Hope you like neutrals though. Bright colors would distract my girls. I’ve got one of those little washers if you wanna’ wash your stuff.”

“What a gentleman.” She pretended to swoon and Owen reached over to tousle her hair.

“I’m sure that’s exactly what every ex I’ve ever had will tell you. Definitely not ‘he loves those dolphins more than me!’ or ‘I wish he’d jump off a cliff!’” Owen mimicked in a falsetto voice. “Obviously I’m irresistible. That’s why the only ladies that will associate with me are intelligent predators…and the animals, too.”

“Oo, low blow. Well I guess coming across me was a stroke of luck on your part, seeing as how I’m neither of those things.”

Owen almost choked while she smiled in a rather self-satisfied manner. “You sure about that? Because that was an ambush if I ever saw one.”

“Seriously though, you trained dolphins? How cool was that? Did you learn all the clicks and whistles and shit?!” She asked excitedly. “Are they as smooth as they look, or are they like sharks?”

“Why does everyone always ask about the--yes, okay? I learned a few basic…clicks.” He huffed, a little embarrassed. “And they’re smooth.”

“Is that why they had you train the raptors? Are pods like the pack mentality?”

“I think they took one look at my file and went ‘yeah, he’s nuts, sign him up!’” Owen joked. “Oh, maybe they thought I was qualified? I definitely needed help though, that’s why I had them give Barry a call. Otherwise you can bet them khaki shorts that I’d have been raptor chow ages ago.”

“You’ve had such a cool run of it. God.” She settled back in her seat. “I wish I could have done something like that. Instead, I make king-size salads.”

“Hey, we all serve a purpose. Without you pulling Rexy, Blue would have died.” Owen cleared his throat. “Me too, of course.”

“Yeah but if you hadn’t stopped yesterday in the first place I would probably be eviscerated in the jungle somewhere.” She pointed out glumly. “We may all serve a purpose but I guess yours is just a bit more lofty than mine.”

“It ain’t your fault you’re not Navy bred. You might wanna’ consider heading through a basic training program, you’re good at thinkin’ on your feet.” Owen regretted it as soon as he said it. The last thing he wanted was one more person chewed up and spat out by a military system that would grind that compassion right out of her. “I mean, tactically speaking. It uh. Looks good on a resume.”

“'Tactically speaking’? What a nerd.” She snorted, making him chuckle. “Nah, I know I’d definitely get eaten alive in a military environment. Thanks for the suggestion, though. And the compliment.”

“Hey, I told you. I’m irresistible.” Owen winked, thoroughly enjoying the way she rolled her eyes at him.

…

“They sound more like-” Owen clicked his tongue and then his teeth, mustering up a few sloppy chirps. She burst into giggles, almost falling off the edge of the futon. He laughed along with her, pleasantly tipsy himself. The tequila was great stuff, Cretaceous Era agave made a hell of a drink. He knew that for most people, the allure of tequila was the complicated bullshit involved in drinking it, combined (of course) with the possible chance of licking someone else’s body. But for him, the enjoyment came from nursing a heavy-handed margarita and swapping tales with the rich old bastards that frequented Margaritaville.

This is nice too, though he decided, watching the way she smiled brightly. She was still hiccupping giggles, fishing a frozen strawberry out of her cup with her fingers.

Owen took a minute to study her. Mostly how she looked in his clothes. “You’re incredible. You understand that, right?” He asked quietly, making her look up at him. “You…hell, no one, and I mean no one, would have blamed you for running your ass down to the docks and gettin’ the hell off this island. But you didn’t. Blue and I are still breathin’ because of you.” He paused to take a sip of his drink. “I dunno’ if I’m getting all sappy because I miss my girls or whatever the hell but…but seriously. You’re incredible.”

She was shaking her head before he was done talking. “No, m’ really not Owen. You don’t have to lie to me to make me feel better. I think it was just like…a series of progressively dumber choices that somehow panned out. A hell of a lot of luck.”

“Well shit. I guess you’re my lucky charm then because damn, the fucking T. Rex is still blowing my mind.” Owen grinned, bumping her shoulder with his own.

She didn’t return his smile, though. If anything, she looked strangely serious. She swirled the liquid in her cup for a second, like she was thinking about something. Owen took the moment to finish off his own glass. “So…on Main Street, when that Dimorphodon was trying to eat your face and I whacked it, tranq'ed it and pulled you back up, I thought you were…that is, I hoped that…” She fell silent and Owen was startled to realize that she was blushing.

He wracked his brain for what had happened. There had been so many close calls just during that assault alone, it was a little jumbled.

“Thanks for the save, sweetheart.” He’d said breathlessly, her body pressed flush against his own. He could feel the way she was shaking, her heart pounding in her chest. She had swallowed, looking up at him wide-eyed, lips slightly parted and-

Oh. Owen felt a wave of heat rush over his body. “You…you were waiting for me to…” He ran a hand through his hair.

“I mean, not exactly? It was just that kind of moment. In the movies you see it all the time.” She explained. “Someone saves someone else and in the heat of the moment it’s totally ludicrous but they somehow manage to avoid getting killed long enough to kiss.”

“I mean I’m not gonna’ say I didn’t think about it.” Owen said honestly. “You saved my face with your quick rifle-butting. I definitely thought about it.”

“Really?”

“'Course! You’re damn pretty and you had literally just kept my skull in one piece. I…if I’d…look, we’ll re-enact it, okay? Here, stand up.” He urged her upright and then rolled off the futon onto the floor, pretending to grapple with a winged fiend snapping wildly at his face. “And then you come in with the butt of the gun like ‘bang!’” Owen laughed as she ‘aimed down the sights’ of her finger gun and stuck her tongue out. “Lights out, little bastard. And then!” He held out his hand and she only stumbled a little bit when hauling him upright.

Owen pulled her up against him just like last time, acting like he was taking a gun from her hands and surprising a laugh out of her. He couldn’t help pushing a stray lock of still slightly-damp hair back behind her ear, watching how she nervously licked her lips.

“You saved my life.” Owen found himself suddenly serious, pressing his forehead to her own. “You saved my damn life, sweetheart. Anythin’ you want, it’s yours.” The sincerity in his voice came naturally.

“Kiss me?” She asked softly, lowering her eyes when Owen cupped her face. “Please?”

“You got it, sweetheart.” He murmured, pressing his mouth to hers. She held onto his shirt as he licked into her mouth, tasting her for the first time. “Damn.” He breathed softly when he finally pulled away. “It is a very good thing that I didn’t do that the first time.”

“Why?” She asked, looking a little dazed.

“Because now I can do this.” Owen kissed her again, harder this time. He felt her hold on his shirt tighten and she whimpered, almost a mewl. Oh they would have been absolutely screwed because that noise alone had his body lighting right the hell up. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you might like when I kiss you.”

She nodded, ducking her face into his chest. “I do.”

“You want more?” He asked softly, tipping her face back up. “I’m not inclined to deny a pretty girl a request.”

“I’m not-”

“Trust me sweetheart, you are.” He interrupted, knowing where she was headed. “You don’t get it, I guess.”

“Get what?”

He shrugged, smiling ruefully. “I’m better with animals than people. Always have been. But there’s no deceptive crap with animals and I piss a lot of humans off by being too blunt. When I say something’s true though, you can bet your ass I believe it’s gospel. So don’t…don’t put yourself down. You’re beautiful, okay?”

“I mean…I have good days just like everyone else.” She seemed flustered and it was weirdly gratifying to see.

“Yeah, every day that ends with ‘y’.” Owen teased, smoothing out the hem of the shirt he had loaned her. His lighthearted mood faded relatively quickly, the quiet sadness bubbling back to the surface. “Listen,” He continued a little quieter, “I’m kind of a broken guy right now. Lost most of my family last night. But you keepin’ me busy today got my mind off it. Tequila’s easing the edge on the hurting bullshit at the moment. I should probably put on some James Taylor and get into bed before I make a fool of myself, I just…I wouldn’t mind a little company tonight, is all.” He mumbled, surprised when her hand cupped the back of his neck and tugged him down.

She tucked his face into the crook of her neck and shoulder, stroking his hair in a soothing motion. Owen grimaced, fingers digging into her shoulder blades as he held her tightly. “You’re allowed to be sad.” She whispered.

“I’m not some gargantuan herbivore for you to console.” Owen muttered, a little off-balance.

“You can be angry, too. I know a lot of people find that easier. But you’re allowed to be sad.” She repeated firmly, pulling away and taking his hand. “C’mon, Owen. I guess I can keep you company.”

“Well you’re just a swell one, aren’t you?” He allowed himself to be led to his own bedroom. “Your sacrifice is duly noted.”

“Oh please, shush.” She scolded, “I’m doing this because I want to. Your sarcasm is unnecessary.” Her irritated face was almost too cute. Owen was powerless to resist kissing her nose, chuckling at the expression she made.

“I wasn’t being real serious, you don’t have to-”

“Ah ah, no take-backsies Grady. You’re stuck with me.” She laid down, sprawling across the bed almost diagonal with a very satisfied smirk on her face as she looked up at him. “And now I’ve taken your whole mattress. My master plan this entire time, finally come to fruition.”

“God, you’re weird.” Owen straddled her, mouthing down her neck slowly. “You’re lucky I like my women dangerous.” He murmured against her skin.

“I dunno’ if I would consider myself dangerous.”

“Oh you’re dangerous as hell, sweetheart. Those eyes? These curves?” Owen dropped a hand to her thigh, loving the way she moved up at his touch. “You’re nine hundred miles worth of dangerous and I want to learn every damn inch if you’ll let me.”

“Yeah?” She propped herself up, meeting his mouth in another languid kiss. “I think I’d like that, Owen.” She breathed, nipping at his lower lip.

Owen groaned when she arched her back, pressing her body against his. “I love you wearin’ my shirt, but I think you’d probably look better without it.”

“You take yours off first. Please?” She requested. Owen quickly obliged, leaning back to undo those fiddly buttons. She held her arms up once he was done and he tugged the long-sleeved shirt up and over her head. Owen took a second there to observe her, committing to memory the way the dim light of his lone bedside lamp had turned her into a gentle fantasy, here for him and him alone.

He made a soft noise in his throat that she answered with one of her own, urging him to touch her, taste her, to know that she was real and here. Owen fairly devoured her at her request, love bites blooming on her breasts and neck as he took his time to learn what she liked.

It was only once she was a heated mess, her hair sticking to her forehead and her whole body flushed with arousal that Owen moved lower. He was a firm believer that the wait was what tended to make the act, so to speak, and he continued his methodical exploration with his hands. She cried out when he slowly slid two fingers inside her, her hand coming up to grip his short hair tightly. He lost his breath a little at just how wet she was, feeling almost stupidly proud of himself. “More?” He asked, muffling his satisfied growl by kissing her thigh when she touched her fingers to his own and nodded furiously. “How much?”

“All of it.” She sounded a bit desperate, a bit exasperated. An excellent combination, in Owen’s not-so-humble opinion. “Please, Owen, I need you.”

That caught him funny in the chest and he propped himself up, kissing her hard. “Goddamn sweetheart, you make me feel worthwhile.” He said thickly, rubbing his thumb over her clit in tough little circles. She moved her hips up to meet his motions, eager sounds and his name falling from her lips in a ridiculously attractive fashion. “Absolutely worthwhile. I told you that you were dangerous.”

She huffed out a breath and he relented, his next kiss lazier while he unbuttoned his pants and struggled out of them. Granted, it would have absolutely been simpler if he'd stopped kissing and touching her to take them off, but there was the whole 'stop kissing and touching her' part of that plan that didn't appeal to him in the slightest.

Owen propped himself up on his elbows again, this time searching her eyes. It was an ingrained habit at this point to scan the body language of whoever he decided was worth this kind of effort, he couldn't exactly help it. But what he saw there thrilled him to his core. Pupils dilated, shoulders relaxed, hands coming up to frame his sides. Her thighs trembling a little and she's smiling, fuck she's smiling at me, she's enjoying this, she likes this he realized, not sure why that surprised him so much. He wasn't necessarily one to brag, but he'd had his name screamed once or twice.

This was just...it was easy and gentle, not frantic at all like it usually ended up being when he reached this point. “Are you okay? We can stop, if you need to.” She offered softly, seeming to misunderstand his hesitation.

“Oh I am great. Never better.” He smiled, bumping their foreheads together. “You ready?”

“Please.” Her voice was a whisper, a crooning plea that drew itself into a moan as he carefully, carefully entered her. “God.”

Owen gritted his teeth at the sound of her voice, the blatant heat there that sent an electric jolt down his spine. “Fuck's sake sweetheart you...fuck.” He forced himself to be slow, to take his time and let her adjust. He waited again until she was begging, until she was squirming.

Kisses, hungry, needy kisses kept pressing to his jaw and throat, stuttering his breathing every time because it was never this way. It had been ages since anyone so much as bothered to try to match the attention and affection he invested when it came to sex, so long that he'd almost forgotten what it felt like to enjoy what he was doing instead of worrying about putting on a great performance. She kept saying his name and all these good things about him, about how much she liked it, her fingers digging into his back as his thrusts picked up.

“You can still talk. Means m' not doin' my job right.” Owen panted, coaxing her knees up over his shoulders and planting a few kisses on the skin of her thigh while he fucked down into her deeper. “Touch yourself for me, sweetheart, please, p-please. I don't know if I'm gonna' last, fuck you feel so fuckin' good!” He knew he should probably be embarrassed at his volume but he could hardly muster up the brain power at the moment. She arched up as best as she could, taking his breath away with the sight of her spread out underneath him, her fingers grazing his cock when she started rubbing back and forth over her clit. “Shit, yes.” The snarl came from deep in his chest and he felt her whole body quiver. “That is fucking gorgeous, you're so fucking perfect.”

“God, Owen I just-!” Her voice cracked. “I need you, I need you, please!”

“You want me, sweetheart? You need all of this? I'm yours already. And you are mine.” Owen growled, not exactly sure where the certainty came from. He clung to it all the same in the moment. “We're gonna' keep each other safe and we're going to make you come, Jesus Christ, I need you to come!” Whether he was begging or demanding or a little bit of both, it hardly mattered because she obeyed, everything pausing for a split-second before she was in spasm around his cock, her slick drenching him as she cried out his name.

He had never heard anything so perfect in his whole life and he moaned her name in reply, looking down to where their bodies joined. She was gasping for breath and still kissing his throat, whimpering with every aftershock that rolled through her even as she continued to take his cock.

“Where do you want it?” Owen said through gritted teeth, tearing his eyes away to focus on her face again. She looked like absolute sin, her hair a mess and her own eyes half-closed in pleasure. He felt a rush of pride. She tapped her stomach, teasing her fingers down over his shaft again. With a low groan he withdrew from her, startled into momentary silence when she quickly wrapped those fingers around his aching cock. Very momentary. “Oh, fuck, Jesus, sweetheart-” He gasped, hips shuddering as he fucked her fist rapidly. “Fucking--dammit, dammit you-!” She teased her thumb over the sensitive head of his cock and that was it, his whole body trembling when he came hard on her stomach.

Owen almost collapsed, the abrupt tightness in his shoulders and arms letting him know that maybe he had overdone it. He groaned loudly, sliding his cock back and forth a few more times just to savor the feeling of her fingers on him, coated in his release.

“Wow.” She said softly, staring up at him and Owen had to kiss her for that, he had to, it was required.

“So I think it's bedtime now, yeah?” He murmured awkwardly once they parted, not sure why she was still staring. “What?” He asked finally, sitting up and rubbing the back of his neck.

“I just...I mean, wow.” She repeated, her smile much more sleepy now.

Owen returned the smile uncertainly and got to his feet, stretching. “I'm gonna'...um, get a washcloth. Don't go anywhere.”

The clean up was usually his least-favorite part, but Owen found himself not minding it so much this time. She gave him these wonderful little sounds as he wiped her down, almost like purring. Once he was done, she made herself at home in his arms without a minute of hesitation. Owen could definitely get used to this.

“We gotta' stick together, you and I. For survival and stuff.” He murmured into her hair.

And when he woke up at some point after midnight with a new night terror still fresh in his mind, tears trickling down his face because I lost them, I lost them, she soothed him back to sleep with quiet words and assurances. You're safe, you're allowed to be sad, you're safe, it's alright, you're safe Owen...

…

Loud knocking on his front door roused him from his slumber the next morning and Owen muttered something decidedly unkind, a little startled when he opened his eyes and realized that she was still there, still asleep in his bed. He felt like a doofus, smiling at a sleeping person, but he decided he was alright with that title. He kissed her forehead and slowly untangled himself, yawning and scratching his ribs.

Time to face the next problem. He wasn't all that upset, honestly. He knew he would probably go stir-crazy without some kind of conflict. Hopefully she was up for the challenge as well.

For survival.

#owen grady/unnamed ofc #jurassic world #thirst party saturday #welcome!#In which Atlas gets to ramble about dinosaurs #All is well #owen grady #owen grady smut

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