#INFECTED TINKY and Guardian cannot

[canonisdead]

I think this just turned into a notp vs otp

I ship a lot for fun but I do think about the chemistry when I'm actually thinking about the whole ship and not JUST for fun.

For example, they should imo bring out different sides of themselves and what do they bring to the table for their relationship.

I can confidently tell you Tinky and Guardian don't have any chemistry. Hahaha- It doesn't match nicely

I'm bad with words so I will express it through which relationship is healthier-

Control

While we don't see Guardian really hold a real conversation with Tinky, we do see how he interacts with one of the four. And he can come off as controlling sure he might feel better with control over the situation, but it's not healthy to want people to follow every demand you throw at them.

Lenny and Guardian never attempt to control each other.

Safety

Infected Tinky isn't the safest guy to be around, I mean he did just kill his best friend, a complete stranger has no chance.

While Guardian did just witness Lenny take his rage out on a machine and angrily chase after Gary, he doesn't seem to feel unsafe around Lenny.

They enjoy spending time together

Guardian probably would like spending time around any of the test subjects he watched, it wouldn't be mutual on Tinky's side. Because who wants to willingly spend time around someone who watched you without your consent??

While the feelings aren't really clear, Lenny and Guardian don't seem to dislike being around each other. With my fanon, Guardian finds Lenny interesting even when he has no idea what the guy is talking about. Yes, Guardian is a little weird but Lenny also knows Anne who is also a weirdo that sometimes spies on people without their knowledge so that she can paint them naturally. And little snowball is just uneducated, he sees the potential in him.

Communication

Guardian can't have a proper conversation with Tinky because Tinky Winky is technically in an altered mindset. And even if he wasn't infected, talking with your technical stalker is kinda weird and the conversations are awkward. And Tinky possibly might react in a similar way Laa-Laa did.

Lenny and Guardian can have a proper conversation because none of them are infected and they can work together to stop the apocalypse.

Shared Goals

Idk about yours but my Tinky Winky just wants to be with his friends, the apocalypse is none of his business, cured or not infected. While Guardian wants to fix what went wrong.

Lenny and Guardian have a shared goal of wanting to stop the apocalypse.

Constant Arguing

Tinky would argue with Guardian so much that I could add it to my Strangers to semi good terms, to almost friends, to friends, to almost lovers, to lovers. It would be very hard to find a middle ground because Guardian sees nothing morally wrong with what he did and it'll take very long chapters for Tinky's yelling to change his mind on that.

While I believe it'll be rare to see Lenny and Guardian argue, but if they do it's probably around the methods to stop the apocalypse and they could find a middle ground. And it wouldn't take 50 chapters to get to that middle ground.

Working together not against eachother

Working together in the campaign involves fighting/killing the other three. If you think Tinky is going to help fight his friends, think again.

Do I need to really explain why Lenny and Guardian are more likely to work together rather than against eachother?

Power Imbalance

Guardian literally has more power than Tinky, he's a Guardian that can prevent them from leaving the Main Lands with probably just a phone call. Tinky has no power in his situation.

While in my fanon Lenny is in a lot of control in the base, he doesn't use this as a weapon. He finds people using power to talk down to people with less power as despicable. So he would never do it to Guardian.

Isolating From Friends And Family

Sorry but so far as I see this ship written, Tinky's friends are always put so far away almost as if he's being isolated from them.

If Lenny and Guardian have separate platonic relationships, they would never isolate each other.

[canonisdead]

Gets reminded on how much Wattpad sucks

Wattpad writers be like "This such cute couple goals, they're so adorable together"

And its the most toxic shit lmao

We have questionable Miles/Noo-Noo shit

I'm pretty sure I once read a Miles/Po chapter where the sex started with consent but it turned non-con when Po was obviously not enjoying it anymore

We have Guardian putting Tinky in a cage and some stuff happens, I only heard about the stuff; as far as I heard the cage stuff is never brought up and they just go to have kids as if nothing is wrong

Probably a lot of Tinky Winky/Guardian stuff is unhealthy relationship. The real main problem is the author thinking its healthy or just a minor hiccup. Are we not going to talk about how weird Guardian is and that infected Tinky Winky cannot consent?

We have the chapters where Guardian is mean to Lenny and does unreasonably cruel things like insulting him and stabbing a knife through his hand during sex just to take his stress out on him

Ron and Dipsy-Kill cinnamon roll Ron-

That one chapter in a fic where Dipsy sexually assaults Tinky and the author says it wasn't SA because they are dating. (for context you could read the smut as revenge sex/r***) Author I like reading dark fiction but Tinky told Dipsy no several times, it was SA.

Bonus for writers not knowing how trauma works

There was also a story with Shadow sexually assaulting Tinky (Context this is a Dipsy/Tinky Winky fic) and I think he might have impregnated him?? (I don't remember) But the author apparently doesn't know you can PTSD from r*** because Tinky recovers just fine for some reason.

Even when I was younger I always did proper research for my fanfics

[canonisdead]

My own character headcanons of BOY THESE CHARACTERS NEED GODDAMN THEARPY Part 1

I was inspired by a post and at first I was going to do a reblog but it was getting REALLY long

Guardian: In the timelines where he kills three people. *I'm not fully sure if Dipsy counts* Shadow doesn't stop tormenting him about it *Shadow my bro I know you're angry that the banana you adopted was killed by Guardian but that's not a good reason to heavily bully Guardian* and lets four shadow versions of the four to torment him further and I don't know if him being one of the products of his parents in the White Coat's captive breeding program counts-

Po: In my AUs Guardian damaged her antenna and so it effected her brain since the antenna is connected to the skull and the brain is in the skull. So if she got cured in those AUs where Guardian does that, it can't reverse the effect it had on her brain. I have two categories where Po gets hung and where she hangs herself. The second sounds a bit more scary to me because the infection is making her do that, imagine losing that amount of control over your body and cannot stop yourself from killing yourself. And she's usually 13 in my AUs. Her father stepped out of the picture, not wanting to do anything with Naa-Naa after Po was seemingly born with any kind of fear gene nor common sense.

Laa-Laa: Oh WhERE do we begin, is tormented by the shadow versions of her friends *luckily when Shadow checks how Laa-Laa is doing because he's not a helicopter father figure, he shoos them away* her best friend is killed by her normally very nice friend, she has the misfortune of meeting Guardian, barely survived when she ran into a monster, finds out her every move was being watched. And can get killed by the same guy with a rock. *I must remind you Guardian doesn't have much muscle strength so realistically he would have to hit her repeatedly with the rock and she would see who killed her* And other times gets killed by the only guy that seemed to genuinely care about her feelings. And gets trapped under a pillar and either is stuck there or gets killed by a rock again. Laa-Laa isn't having a fun time. Forgot to mention the events before her life as a test subject, *her biological father sold her and her siblings out to the government without telling her mother* when the White Coats came to take them away for the experiment, she tried to fight them with a sharp weapon but of course what is a 7 year old girl gonna do against grown men?

Tinky Winky: He had no control over his body and could only watch as he killed his friends. He has foggy memories of seeing his mom's dead body but her face is always blurry and of course he doesn't remember having a mom nor remember that Noo-Noo is his dad. He had a good family life before Luna and her parents were killed. He has to face the horror of his dad starting this whole mess and how controlling Noo-Noo is.

Dipsy: Uh he gets strangled by Tinky Winky and it's like "Is this because of the sexual advances, okay I'll stop, just let go of my neck, only Laa-Laa is allowed to give me near death experiences" And his leg gets burnt by the laser. And I wanted him to have more trauma so I had Guardian dig the chainsaw into his leg to make sure Dipsy wouldn't try to get up and chase him down. Oh wait Dipsy is also a product of the breeding program except that his mother was just forcibly impregnated with a sample of Rep DNA.

Dutch: My boy very upset at his whole family deciding to give up on Finn, so he did his very best to try to get him the treatment he needed and to take care of them both. He stole some money from his dad's safe until he found out and kicked him in the stomach, cracking his screen a bit. He also has some scars from the abuse. So it's a bit of child forced to grow up fast situation. And then has to deal with the whole his brother being dead and in timelines where he escapes being killed by Richard, he's blaming the whole situation on Richard because he believes he left Finn to die. 'I was supposed to trust that every time you two were on a mission together, you would always bring him back alive'. And there's the whole break up arc where Miles refuses to believe Richard tried to kill Dutch and it makes Dutch even more angry. Honestly my Dutch wouldn't really be upset about being killed by Richard because I must put extra emphasis when I say that Finn was Dutch's reason to live and get up everyday and now Finn is dead. I forgot to mention Dutch wears a 'mask' to the world. The mask of outgoing, flirty behavior and egoist behavior. But usually only lets down his mask around Finn. He hasn't put it down for Miles yet, he's worried that Miles loves the mask he puts up and wouldn't love the real him.

Finn: This freaky weirdo had compilations in his birth which is why he's younger than Dutch. (This is my worldbuilding and I don't care if that's accurate or not) He needed treatment for his weak body but when his parents realized Finn couldn't recover without it, they decided they rather let him die. The oldest brother constantly misgenders him. I think he finally got the treatment (thanks to Dutch's efforts and Ninja's parents) when he was 7 maybe? But he basically needed a lot of help walking. I need you to understand that he was younger that every movement hurt so he didn't bother doing anything that hurt. So he had to be taught to do things he didn't bother trying to do when he was younger. Like walking. But he recovered and now can kick harder than anyone on the planet. But then I made him get blackmailed by the General. This mf controlled this 18 year old with "I have the power to control what ranks anyone you're associated with has, so give me oral sex and they will rise higher rather than lower" While Finn usually shares all of his problems with his brother, he's truly scared if Dutch finds out, he'll think he's a whore and disown him. Dutch is basically the only family he has. He doesn't want to ruin Dutch's reptation with this problem.

[canonisdead]

Kinda ranking the monsters-not in scary order

Undead Po: She's slow, not scary.

Necromorph Po: In concept, she's a bit scary, she has freaking scythes out of her back/shoulders. They even twitch meaning that if like went weapon crazy on them, it would hurt her. But she's slow and you can run circles around her. Not scary when I'm just playing the game.

Spider Po: She's everything you don't want in a spider. BIG and with sharp legs she will stab you with when she catches up to you. Its not a matter if she'll kill you. It's when. *Okay I admit I have managed to lose her with desperate running and hopping but first impressions.* But she's not the one I fear the most.

Undead Laa-Laa: She's slow and not scary.

Infected Laa-Laa: Before I overcame MOST of my fear around her, I sobbed internally every time I went on her map. She's scarily thinnish, she twitches everywhere she goes, she's never truly idle. She makes musically, yet haunting pained noises. I quivered with fear wondering where she is. She may not be the fastest, but she's the scariest. If you're wondering when I stopped curling in a ball in a crying mess, it's when I finally jump scared Laa-Laa. I still get tense on this map though.

Tinky Winky: Slow, imo he should be faster like come on. If a monster has electricity, he should be fast. While everyone gets normal infected faces, Sean does my boy dirty by keeping that copy and pasted lame face.

Tinky Tank: Not scary. Lame. I can outrun him. My boy has been done dirty.

Headless Dipsy: Look he's scary in concept, he's walking around with no brain, he can sense you nearby and casually pull out organs and saw off limbs. But he don't scare me. I can run circles around him.

Lake Dipsy: ...I hate how he looks, his appearance doesn't scare me. The only thing you should fear is his speed. He will likely kill you if you aren't running for your life.

Infected Guardian: Even infected he's still pathetic. For the greatest reborn of all time, he's slow and I can run circles around him. Not scary.

Crawler: NOW this dude is scary. He's fast, if anyone tells you that they can just walk around this creature I reassure you they probably didn't play on this map, every time I try to jump over him, he kills me. And his organs are just dragging behind him. I like to believe that got infected into the parasite. Now that just made him creepier. I've looked at its tiny gaping mouth in sandbox and ew. His AI still is kinda dumb at times.

The Brute Twins aren't even canon, they're OCs, but they're scary in the sense that they're just crazy killers, not even infected. I can imagine a death scene for that is fading into the scene where the player is being served for dinner. Yuck. Ew.

The Imposter, he has a sword and he'll stab you and he's not slow.

Cave: He's got a dangling eye, his jaw is fucked up, and he has a high chance of killing you. But he doesn't scare me when I'm in the map.

Yeti: He aint scary. I once walked up the mountains in a Conor skin and Yeti was just swinging his arms hoping he'd kill me. Nope, timer ran out.

Arrow: He's probably scarily thin and he's fast but he doesn't scare me.

The newborns, they got no arms, barely any fur *They aren't furless, if they were their body would be a same tone as their face and inside ears* and will kill you with just a swing of their head. I'm pretty sure they don't scare me.

Shadow: He doesn't scare me. He's not slow but still not scary.

Ghost Girl: She annoys me because of how easily she can get me. But she doesnt scare me.

The Announcer: He doesn't scare me.

Classic Tinky Winky: I CANNOT believe some idiot put him as the best enemy in the game. HE'S JUST T-POSING TOWARDS YOU. He doesn't scare me, I just hate the ear bleeding I get.