#INM GOING CRAZY

[eggrolls-and-fandoms]

DELTARUNE TOMORROW!!!

[whatwasimadefor13]

Prison

A/n: there are like no fan fics for natasha lyonne, so i decided to write some, cause why not? :)

Nicky Nichols x Fem!Reader

Warnings: prison, reader's pet peeve is people cursing, sex contest hints of a bad life outside of prison, car theft mentioned, nicky is called a junkie, lorna is hinted at being crazy but that's normal

A/n: also this is a mix of the first episode and the sex contest between boo and nicky in like season two. i saw someone do something with that before and wanted to do my own take on it.

Imprisoned for grand theft auto, your first day of a five-year sentence had arrived. You knew how you looked; you were considerably different from most other inmates, having a normal aura around you. You realized your freedom disappeared the second the bus let you off. The guards directed the other transfers to line up at the side of the bus. You followed as the other inmates lined up.

You were observing your surroundings, and you took note of how serious the other inmates seemed. The way they carried themselves made you shiver. You noticed another girl who looked very out of place, even more than you, but you tried not to associate yourself with her, as you knew she would probably be the first one to be picked on. You had been described the prison dynamic by your fellow car thieves as they had been in a couple of times, but it felt so different from how they described it.

Following the guards’ intake and processing of the inmates; You were given an orange uniform and sent, along with a group, to a ‘residential’ inmate who was in a tan uniform. You noticed that everyone else was wearing the tan uniform, but before you can ask, the lady introduces herself in a Boston, mixed with Brooklyn accent, “Hello there. My name is Lorna, but if you want, you can call me Morello, cause that’s my last name.” You take notice of her enthusiastic rambling, as your sister would do the same thing.

Lorna was quite gorgeous, you thought to yourself, she had beautiful curled hair with a bold red lipstick, kinda had this crazy look in her eye, but you liked it, it added character. She gave a brief tour of the place, and you felt some eyes staring at the back of your head. You turned around to see two inmates, one was a blonde woman with unkempt curly hair and big brown eyes, the other was a butch-looking woman with short black hair and what looked like green eyes but you couldn’t tell from so far away. But you noticed they both had lots of tattoos, and they seemed to be chatting to each other about something while looking back and forth at each other and me. You just ignored it and continued listening to Lorna. After she brought you to your four-bedroom cell, you kinda chatted to her by yourself as the others settled in.

“Sorry for being a bother, but what is this orange and tan uniform deal? Do you have to pay more for the tan ones, or did they run out and give us extra?” Lorna had a small chuckle before stating, “The new inmates have orange uniforms for a while before they give you the tan ones. They are understaffed and under-funded, so it takes a while to process stuff around here.” Lorna smiles. She saw you taking a small glance at the two still talking and watching you. She then stared at the other two with an irritable glare.

The curly-haired one seemed to groan as she turned to the other one and gestured to leave, and both started to walk away. Lorna turned back to you and picked herself up with a smile, “Sorry about those two, they have no manners.” You were still curious, so you asked, “Who are they?”. Lorna kept her smile, “The curly hair one is Nicky, and the other is Boo. Be careful, they might be my friends, but that does not mean you should be friendly with them,” Lorna said, confusing you. You just nodded and headed to your top bunk. Your bunkmate gave you a stare as you headed for the bottom bunk, so you decided to go for the top one.

You lay there until you noticed people headed to dinner, so you followed some other inmates. As you got in line, you noticed the curly-haired lady, whom you thought was Nicky, got in line behind you. She was staring at you for a while before she spoke up. “Hey there, sweet cheeks,” she said with this raspy voice that kinda sounded like a smoker.

“Nicky, right?” You replied, just trying to make this line go by faster. “Yep, but the guards call me Nichols cause they are special or some shit”. Your eyes raised at the curse. Nichols noticed, “Don’t like me cussing?” You bit your lip, trying to make the subject pass and not comment on it. Nicky squinted her eyes, “Are you gonna answer, hon?” You roll your eyes, “Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine.” Nicky’s eyes widened as she laughed, causing the people in front of us to look at her weirdly. You mumbled something that got Nicky’s attention. “What did you say, love?” You rolled your eyes again. “None of your business.” You quickly fixed your eyes in front of you again, tapping your foot, waiting for the line to hurry up.

“Come on, you don’t find me entertaining,” the inmate whined. “I don’t know if you haven’t given me anything to work with.” Nicky gave a small nod. “I guess I haven’t, I can change that. What are you in for, anyway?” Nicky asked curiously. You turned back to Nicky, debating telling her you decided what’s the harm, “grand theft auto”. Nicky snorted her nose. “You don’t look like the stealing cars type,” she says while looking at you again. “Is that supposed to be an insult?” You asked, annoyed at Nicky’s bluntness. “Nah, don’t worry, hun you look good.” Nicky smiled with her flirtatious grin. You felt a brief flutter in your stomach, but you ignored it. “Mhm, I know,” you said, trying to seem confident.

As you got to the front of the line, you began getting your food. It might not have been the best, but it was better than not having the money to eat. Like you did outside. As you got to the end of the line, you realized you would have to find a table to sit at. They all looked aggressive. Approaching them would likely start a fight. Nicky noticed and smiled, “Why don’t you sit with me, sweetheart? You can be with the ‘popular’ table like I’m sure you sat with in highschool.” You debated it and sighed in defeat, “Fine.” Nicky smiled wide at your submission and led you to a table which you noticed had another new inmate wearing orange. Nicky lowered herself onto the table, making her presence known, and you did the same right next to her.

”Piper, you can’t be taking advice from a nun and a hippie”. You sat down next to her as the older lady that was very skinny and built at the same time retorted, “By all means, seek out the supreme wisdom of the junkie philosopher”. You take note of the use of the word junkie, noticing that Nicky fit that description very well. “I pray for you, Nicky,” the lady with short red hair who had slightly grown out said. Nicky responded with “Aww, I pray for you too, sister…I lust after you, Yoga Jones, those sinewy arms.” Nicky joked and laughed, “You have got to love a yoga body.”

As they were talking, you were taking note of what they were saying. Jasper felt her self lose focus for a second before Nicky interrupted her thoughts, “You like pussy, love?” Your cheeks flush up. “If you’re asking if I’m a lesbian, then yes,” you respond after pulling yourself together. Nicky smiled and turned to Piper, “What about you, Piper? You like pussy? Or do you prefer pipe like your name suggests? I’m getting sapphic vibes from you.” Piper didn’t respond and the nun lady told Nicky to stop. Nicky came back with a quick comeback. While they were chatting, you noticed a darker, short-haired redhead coming over to the table. She had impeccable eyeliner, and you kinda wanted some tips, as you can only do your waterline. She passed over a yogurt, from what you could assume, to Nicky. She replied with, “Thank you, mommy,” but it didn’t seem to be sexually. She then passed one to the nun and yoga lady, and they both said their thanks.

I saw Piper leaning over and asking Nicky, “She’s your mom?” You looked at Nicky with an expression saying you wanted to know, too. “Ah, Maternal figurehead. My actual mother lives in Brazil with her boyfriend, Paulo, who destroys rainforests and collects photorealistic art. She is a cunt. I am an embarrassment.” She said before turning to you and muttering an apology for the curse. You roll your eyes as the other girl with Nicky from before comes over to the eyeliner redhead.

“Red, can I get one of those?” She was talking about the yogurt Nicky got. Red replied, “You got what I asked you for?” Boo responded, saying something about she’s working on it. Red rolled her eyes and even you felt her displeasure, “So am I, Treat comes when I sleep better” Boo looked to Nicky and Nicky looked away. Boo got up in defeat and almost left, but had to wink at you before leaving. You flared your nose in disgust, not liking the wink. Red talked about how hard it is for her to get what she asked for before asking, “Who are they?” talking about me and Piper. Nicky responded “Chapman, some self-surrender, thinks she fancy. And that is y/n hottest car thrive I’ve met to date.” You roll your eyes again, but a little more playfully, beginning to enjoy Nicky’s presence. Red gets up and gives both of you yogurt cups. You smile politely and thank her, while Chapman asks, “What do I have to do for it?”

“You both are new, you’re one of us, consider it a gift,” Red responded. You thanked her again and began to eat it even though you don’t like yogurt. Chapman also says thank you before saying, “The food here is disgusting.” You gave her a weird look as everyone else looked down. “What?” she said. Nicky bit her cheek before responding, “Did I mention Red runs the kitchen?” Piper muttered a “shit…I’m sorry” as you shuttered at your pet peeve. Nicky looked at you with a worried expression on her face for Chapman. Red got up and said something to Piper, but all you were paying attention to was how Nicky’s hand was slightly touching your side, rubbing circles. It was a nice gesture, but you still gave her the side eye. She didn’t stop, and to be honest, it was comfortable.

You focused back on the situation when Nicky stated, “Holy shit. That was an epic fuck-up” You looked at her weird again and she mumbled an apology. You then noticed Lorna headed over to the table, she sat down next to you, “Ello there again, L/n.” You smiled at her, “Hey Lorna”. Lorna peeks at Chapman, who is just staring at the yogurt, “You gonna eat that, Chapman, because I’ll gladly take it.” Nicky clicks her tongue, signaling to not talk to her. Lorna rolls her eyes and continues talking to you about a Christopher. You nod your head as she talks and smile.

Nicky interrupts at some point, “We should head out soon, it seems people are leaving bout now.” You nod and say your goodbyes the group and head back to your bunk. As you approach your room, you hear Nicky from behind, “Dang, you’re a fast walker,” she announces, changing her normal swear. You nod as you climb onto your bed. She follows you into your room and watches as you get on your bed. She moves to the head of your bed and rests her head on the railing, smiling at you. You saw her standing figure and raised your eyebrow, “What do you want?” Nicky grins, her brown eyes meeting yours, “Come on, I can’t just hang out with you?” You gave her a side eye as you look up at the ceiling, “What were you and boo, I think that’s her name, talking about anyway?”

Nicky looked down for a second before looking back up at you and responding, “Just something stupid, you don’t need to worry about it.” You did not feel reassured at all. “I don’t like liars.” Your eyes squint, seeing Nicky’s unease. “Fine, me and boo have a… hookup contest… inmates are ranked on a scale from 1 to 10 and whoever gets the most points wins.” You were confused how that had to deal with what you were asking but you let her continues. “Guards are an automatic 10 but I haven’t got any of them,” You nod to her words, “So who is winning?” Nicky then let out a smile, “me obviously but Boo is very close, she is only a point behind and I think she’s close to getting a 4. But the reason we were talking before is that we were gonna make you a 8 on the scale.”

You thought about it for a second and smiled, ”Well, thanks Nick, I appreciate it, but you won’t be getting those 8 points.” Nicky smirked, “We will see about that, sweetie. I’ll leave you alone for now. Don’t go cheating on me with Boo.” You stared at Nicky as she left, watching her confident presence leave the room.

A/n: I def want to make another part idk when, but I'll try.

[f0xd13-blog]

so after the russian thing they started messing up withmy my youtube algorithm and put a bunch pf jewish stuff then biden and barack.hugging babis (after the fact they mass.murdered babies and put it on my alhorithm like im going or have to care bout dirty jewish babis that never contribute to societybe and noticeableit for thei lack of stars compared to the billionares they also put inme front on me liks crazy Billionaires doing this to a real enslaved , victim of the holocaustworld with a veteran family like.... 70 years after and they are billionaires and they want us to believe that happened after the holocaust all of sudden they got everything back together and turned inti a billionaires on top of it ahahahhaha thats why they want to make us believe its superplace possible. Guys everybody knows y'all fascist and provoked covid plus always find excuses to put ur kids and people more valuable make jewish games impossible for comprehension because everything hebrew an ancient mesopotamia is "jewish" like crazy. Now that robalia thing was on purpose They came here to Step on top of us after pretending they ain't to blame for the holocaust coz they always mass murder people censor it and then only count what hitlers do as history and terrorism, and this is because of judy garland and shirley temple like THEY COULD THING THAT People LIVING IN THIRD WORLD CONDITION TO THIS DAY ON PURPOSE!!Have to deal with their first world problems because its easy to just forget about it when u havea lot going in in your life. Now after barack and hilary's babies(yah thats hilary, biden I mean yah I know sick could at least be real with it) thsy put snoop inside a bunker doing lives again so this is one o two things they are either enslaved by contracts and shit or doing this on purpose either way america is sick right now and my past fascination for this people disappeared like bam xauuu . They really think they are ancient hebrews and any of thT crap inis 2024 makes sense!

[hongism]

Caly I leave for a few weeks and you change url!!! 🤬🤬 and we’re mutuals now??? what did i do i don’t deserve 🤧🤧🤧 i’m the worst groupie right now but don’t think I’ve abandoned mists i’m just on vacation and got no time to read... looking forward to binge reading next week 🥴🥴 and while we’re at it WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE COMEBACK?? YOU OK?? 😳 andjnfrjdkch thanks for following!!! 🥰🥰🥰

JKFHSDKLAJFHKLJ this is what happens when you leave i start getting chaotic and crazy �� we had a rebranding moment and now look where we are with an Iconic hyyunjins moment slkdjflj and YES we are mutuals now 😤 just accept it and my love u def def def 10/10 10000000% deserve ;-; hehheehe i went a little crazy and wrote a Ton so pls don’t binge read in one sitting it’s so much heiufdiu WHAT DID I THINK OF THE COMEBACK??? AM I OK??? SIOFJOISJDOFIJ jfdikJDSJHGUYgeryuDSHMFGKSDHJGF JDHGHJgdfjhgSDJ HFGASDKJHKljhlkjHJKDHFAKJLHkjskjahfkdjhkjsdhjkhg uijrhglujihkfdhjnvcjhbnxckjvhbjkhfguiwherguiarhguifdhgafdhgldfuihgluifhdgliuhafdgiuhfdiughfjkdghkj fdhgjkfdhgaklhfguihruiljklghdfiujghlujh fduihgiufdhgnliudjfhgui fdiuhgiudfhgiuhfdgilauhd fiughfuidh guifhgdaiuhdfgliuhfdgiuhfdighu i am anything bUT okay uGH inm stilsiodfjoif still going through it i wont recover any time soon im done for 

i hope you continue to have a good and relaxing vacation uwu treat yourself and Chill 😤🧡

[trizza]

ayo whazzup its oli from nyc i’ve been locked inm y house since march 12th yeeeeeerrrrrrr anyways I cant stopp playing animal corrsing. anyone want to buy me an online switch membership or send me an amibo or literally just say hi to me. Please I am going stir crazy. I will trade u Pietro or like Whitney or someone 

[qisasqisasqisas]

C9: ‘Ohnana whats my name?’

İşler hiç beklediğim gibi gitmez. Görünüşe göre bir rüya içinde değilmişim ve yine görünüşe göre ben İngiltere’de taksinin önüne atlayan ilk insan değilim. Maalesef ki hastanelik olacak kadar bir şey yaşanmadı çünkü tahmin ettiğim gibi şoför sola kırıp sokak lambasına çarptı ve lamba arabanın üzerine düştü.

-Benim yüzümden-

Bu tabii beni üzdü fakat yine de bir taksiye binip John’un yanına gitmeliydim. Şansıma yeni bir taksi geldi ve beni arabasının kaza yapmasına sebep olduğum sürücünün gazabından tam vaktinde alıkoydu. Taksiye bindiğimde kendimi arkamda bıraktığım enkaza bakmaktan alıkoyamadım. Jim, Elvan ve Yıldız Tilbe caddede durmuş bana bakıyorlardı. Fakat Yıldız Tilbe koşmaya başlayana kadar ben uzaklaşmıştım. 

TD: “Where to miss?”

A: “Oh. I don’t know actually. Just continue until the road ends.” dedikten sonra Sherlock’u ararım. Uzun bir süre telefon çalar ve çalması bitince bir mesaj gelir.

Can’t talk rn. Call you later. 

-S.H.

Sanki bunun otomatik mesaj olduğunu bilmiyoruz.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

None of your business. Cause you are FIRED!

-S.H.

TELL ME WHERE ARE YOU GOING!

...

-S.H.

F*** YOU (: 

I would do the same gladly. (:)

-S.H

p.s. I liked the smile -> (:)

YOU ARE AN-

TD: “MISS! Can you tell me where are we going?”

A: “Do you know where 47 year old English post soldier can go for drinking? He is also stubborn and likes danger but wants to have a quality time with himself. Not in that way.”

TD: “Oh I know the place.” 

A: “Do you?”

TD: “Yeah. It’s near.” 

A: “Okay then.”

Adam beni en sonunda garip bir sokağa çıkan başka bir sokakta indirir. Adama parasını ödedikten sonra -neden taksi parasını ben ödüyorum bilmiyorum- sokağa girip heyecan içinde bu iki gerizekalının ne yaptığını görmek için sabırsızlanırım. John içer bilirim ama Sherlock ekstrem bir olay olmadıkça asla ağzına içki ve sigara sürmez. Bu aralar sigarayı da ağzından eksik etmediğinden artık içki konusunda da emin değilim aslında. Sokak karanlık ve saçma sapan neon ışıklarıyla doludur ve mümkün olduğunca dardır. 

En sonunda adamın dediği barı bulurum. Barın adı Old Man’s Inn. John için beklediğimden daha kötü bir yer ama daha içine girmediğimden bilemem. 

İçeri adım attığım andan itibaren aşağıya doğru bitmek bilmeyen bir merdiven inme ritüeline girerim. Gitgide kulaklarımı ele geçiren çirkin müziklerden biri beynimi akıtmaya başlar. (bu arada okurlar bu şarkıyı tam youtube’da ararken aynı anda spotify’da çıktı ve dedim ki BU DOĞRU SEÇİMDİR ve kendimi MÜNECCİM ilan ediyorum. Hayatımdaki 2. en psişik moment’ımı yaşadım. Sizleri baya gözlerinizden öper hepimize sağlık sıhhat mutluluk ve para dilerim <3 )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zLZ6Mc0VL0

Bu tanıdık melodi beynimde oynarken merdiven inmeyi bitirip başka bir koridoru ve koridor sonundaki mor/mavi/kırmızı/pembe ışığa doğru koşarım. John’un burada olma ihtimali Sherlock’un içki içme ihtimaliyle aynı. Yani yüzde elli bile yok. En kötü bir tek atıp başka bara geçerim diyerek holün sonuna gelirim ve içeri girince dans eden bilmemkaç kişi ve bar taburelerinde ortada içki içen tipler görürüm. Amazon ormanlarındaki gibi insanları yararak John ve Sherlock’u ararım. Fakat dans edenlerin içinden çıkmazlar. Oturanlara bakınca bir çift salak gözüme çarpar. 

Yanlarına doğru gidip ellerindeki beherlerle ne halt ettiklerine bakarım. Sherlock ve John dakikada bir telefona bakarlar. Sherlock’un gözleri hatta hiç ayrılmaz. 

A: “Hello guys!”

John beheri kafaya dikip sonra da önündeki shot bardaklarından birini kafaya diker. 

J: “Hello pain in the ass!” 

A: “Is he drunk or angry?”

S: “OH GOD! SHE’S NOT TEXTING JOHN!”

J: “Let me look.” der ve telefonu kendine çekip mesajlara girer. Sonra Sherlock’a döner.

J: “Does she have whatsapp?”

S: “What’s that?”

J: “Wait.” der ve whatsapp’ı indirip tekrar bakar ve bu süre boyunca Sherlock bana iğreniyormuşçasına bakar. 

A: “Am I that disgusting?”

S: “Nope. But when you are double, you seem really unbearable to look at.”

A: “Then why do you look?”

S: “Cause I need to keep my attention away from my phone. You are the perfect distraction.” 

A: “Was that a compliment or-”

S: “The other one.”

J: “Sherlock, she didn’t message. Sorry mate.” 

S: “Women...”

J: “Don’t be upset.”

S: “I’m not UPSET! I never get upset cause I don’t know how to be upset cause I’ve never been upset!”

J: “Yeah your reaction tells it.”

A: “Is he in love?”

J: “Did you get it just now?”

A: “I thought he was not capable of loving a woman in that way.”

S: “Oh pardon me but it’s very clear that you thought in the past but now you believe it don’t you? So you actually thought about it and if there would be a chance to believe that I’m a person who can love you would be the first one to believe it. Cause you desperately love me.”

A: “What? I think this is your first mis-deduction.”

S: “No. It is right and clear.”

A: “No. I don’t love you. How can you expect someone to love someone like you? Oh maybe John get used to you or he is attracted people like you but for most people, you are a pain in the ass. Especially on John’s and mine. I won’t be keeping my word away from you cause you were my employer or a very known detective.-”

S: “Most known detective.”

A: “Oh shit, stop correcting words. No one’s caring about the things you do to make people hate you. No one’s going to hate or love you Sherlock. You are just a remedy to their diseases. So stop pretending that you matter. Everyone’s the same and what makes us different is our perception. In this case yours is very different than the most. But this does not make you special.”

S: “You are jealous.”

A: “Of what? You?”

S: “Not just me. My skills and my life.”

A: “Thank god that you fired me.” 

S: “Why are you here even thought I told you not to come?”

A: “Maybe I am worried? Do you know this emotion?”

S: “Umm, yes.”

A: “Oh that’s good. You may understand me then.”

S: “Nope.”

A: “Then go kill yourself.”

S: “You’re here for John.”

A: “Of course I am. You are the one who made him angry.”

S: “That’s just a little thing. We solved it between us. Now go back to your mama.”

J: “Sherlock...”

S: “What?”

J: “Her mom is-”

S: “What?”

J: “She doesn’t know her mom so-”

S: “Is he an orphan?”

J: “Practically...”

A: “Yes. It’s a pity that you couldn’t guessed this mr. Holmes. I should get going then. Cause none of you seem to need me now on.”

S: “Wise choice.”

J: “Oh Sherlock! Stop it!”

S: “But she wants to go! Let her go John!”

J: “I would. But she needs a job.”

A: “Not this job doctor Watson sorry. I haven’t been paid. How can you expect me to work under these circumstances?” derim Sherlock’u göstererek.

J: “Oh don’t worry about him. He’ll do the work and forget about this. He never lets any useless information to his mind palace.”

A: “Is that a real thing?”

J: “Yes.”

A: “Can I go in?”

S + J: “No.”

A: “Okay then I should be packing up my stuff and fly to Turkey. But I need you to fill the application forms and other papers.” 

J: “Me? why me? Sherlock should be doing t-”

A: “We both know that he won’t do such thing.”

J: “Sherlock?”

S: “What?” der kafasını telefonundan kaldırıp. 

J: “You’ll fill in her internship documents right?”

S: “Mhmm.” der onaylayarak.

J: “Is this a deal? Can we call it a deal?”

S: “Yeeaah...”

J: “Okay then. IT’S A DEAL!” der yerinden kalkıp ikinci shotı da atıp. 

S: “What did you just say?”

J: “You’ll do the paper work for her.”

S: “Paper work? For her? What? These two things are impossible.”

J: “But now it is.” der cebinden bir şey çıkartıp. Elinde isviçre çakısıyla bana ve Sherlock’a bakar.

J: “Lestrade gave me this while we were trying to rescue you from Moriarty.  So this is for you.” 

NE? Lestrade? İsviçre çakısı? Ben? John elindeki çakıyı gözüme soka soka al der ve alıp cebime koyarım. 

J: “He said this is for defense. Also wondered if you would like to have a dinner with-”

S: “Oh this is the most hilarious thing in my entire life! Lestrade falls for a teenage girl!”

A: “for god’s sake I am 24 years old Sherlock!”

J: “She’s a woman. That’s what law calls.”

S: “But she’s unexperienced.”

J: “How can you know that? Stop messing around. ”

S: “Well I can tell if you pardon me assistant.”

A: “Oh well then, let’s hear about me now.”

J: “I guess tonight you’ll be covered in beer Sherlock.” 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYgmnku6R3Y

S: “I am telling what I see. But I can’t let you two shower me with your beers.”

A: “I don’t have any.”

J: “You can have mine.”

S: “Oh shut up! You... you are unexperienced about life. You are lost in details and human psychology. You actually can rationalize human behavior which is why I hired you but-

A: “you said you didn’t hire me. John did.”

S: “I let him, do not interrupt! You want to be loved and want to find the man of your dreams. He should be handsome and intelligent and everything a woman can wish for. So plain and ridiculous. Still you seem to gave up on love. You are walking on a thin line between life and death, to love or to have a cold heart. You are bipolar. Your thoughts are but your actions remain very calm. So calm. It’s disturbing to watch. You are plant that anyone can want and have in their houses. So that is what you are. You are needed but not especially wanted or picked. That’s driving you crazy. That is why you can’t trust anyone or love. Somewhat I can relate to these but the other things I said previously -they are shit-. So would you like to have a tequila?” 

A: “Thanks if you pay.”

S: “John does.”

J: “I’m not a-”

S: “Hush John. Pay it all.”

J: “You cock...” der ve kalkıp gider. Sherlock bana John’un kalktığı yeri gösterip oturmamı söyler. Garip bir şekilde insana benzediğini ve bir insan gibi davrandığını itiraf etmeliyim. Birasını içip midesini sıvazladıktan sonra bana döner.

S: “But I still know that you have good communication skills. Help me with this issue.” Masadaki telefonunu bana doğru iter ve mesaj ekranını gösterir. Attığı mesajlara bakarım. Sadece bir tane mesaj atmıştır ve o da,

Are you up! (:

-S.H.

Bu mesajı da büyük ihtimalle John’a yazdırmıştır. Lisede bile atmadığımız türden rezil mesajlardan biri olduğu için önceki mesajlara bakarım. Hep karşı taraftan garip içerikli mesajlar gelmiş ve birkaç senedir bir daha mesajlaşılmamış. 

A: “Sherlock, you might want to call him maybe.”

S: “Him?”

A: “Oh sorry this is the woman?”

S: “Yeah... yeah she is.”

A: “So, please stop doing things with John’s way cause she is not attracted to John. It is obvious.”

S: “How you knew that he wrote the message?”

A: “It’s very pitiful and corny.”

S: “Yes, that’s what I thought but still I sent it.”

A: “Wrong thing to do. So you want me to-”

S: “Text her!”

A: “I don’t think text is your thing. You should play a game with her. From the looks of it she likes to not get a reply from you. It’s tempting. I assume it has worked on you. But why did you sent the message now? Besides being drunk.”

S: “I just... I wanted to know-”

J: “Here’s our shots!” der elinde 12 tane shot bardağının olduğu bi tepsiyle gelerek.

S: “Are you a billionaire and hiding?”

J: “Just a retired soldier.”

A: “Doctor.”

J: “Whatever. Okay let’s have a toast!” der shot bardaklarını eşit olarak dağıtarak. 

J: “ to us!”

A: “What?”

J: “to us.”

S: “It is very cringy.”

J: “Oh you learned a word from a teenager’s dictionary Sherlock!”

A: “I am not a TEENAGER!”

J: “I meant my daughter.”

A: “Your daughter is not a-”

S: “Cut the shit. I say we drink to LOVE!”

Bardağı bırakırım ve John da aynı şekilde bırakır.

A: “I’m out.”

J: “Count me in.”

S: “Oww... you have wounds darlings. How baaad.”

J: “He’s drunk.”

A: “Yes I can see.”

S: “Where is she? where is shee?”

Arkamda bir nefes alıp verme sesi hissederim ve bir el beni omzumdan çekip arkaya atar.

E: “Here I am!” dedikten sonra alır ve shot bardağını Sherlock’unkiyle tokuşturur.

E: “to love!” der ve Sherlock’un gözlerine baka baka içer. 

Aslında içemez çünkü Yıldız Tilbe koşarak gelir ve etrafındaki tüm insanları;

“Ay çekil be! Bi kayın kenara! Ay daradım bi defolun be etrafımdan!” diyerek sıyırır. 

YT: “ŞERREFE KARDEŞLERİM!” dedikten sonra bana döner ve bana da bir bardak verir. John da en sonunda dayanamayıp bardağını kaldırır. Ona garip garip bakınca tekrar indirir ve etrafa bakar. 

JM: “OH-HO-NEEEY!” der ve Sherlock’un boynuna ellerini dolayıp önündeki diğer bardağı alır. Herkes durup bana bakar. Lanet olsun. Tam olarak kişi başı iki shot atabiliriz ve bir tanesini atmak bile saçmayken şu an elime Yıldız abla tarafından tutuşturulmuş shot bardağını birer birer herkesle tokuşturup kafama dikiyorum. 

JM: “Next one is LOVE SHOT!” der ve Sherlock’u kendine çekip onun da eline bir bardak tutuşturur ve tam o anda ne hikmetse en sevdiğimiz parça çalmaya başlar. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ

Sherlock neye uğradığını bilemez ama hafif utanarak gözlerini Jim’den kaçırırken John bakıp bakıp güler. Bu adam Sherlock’a aşık değil mi ben mi yanlış biliyorum? Sherlock ve Jim bardaklarını bitirince Jim Sherlock’a uzunca bakar ve dudaklarına kayar gözleri. Hepimiz de sapık gibi bunu izleriz büyük bir zevkle.

JM: “There’s something on your lip.”

S: “W-what?” der sesi kalınlaşarak.

JM: “Let me have it.”

Sherlock irkilir ama Jim’in ona dokunmasına izin verir. John boğazını temizler dikkatleri dağıtmak ama Yıldız abla ben ve Elvan dirseklerimiz masada onlara içimiz geçmiş bir şekilde bakarız. Jim biraz utanıp gülümser ve yere bakar.

S: “T-thanks...” der sessiz bir şekilde. 

JM: “Anytime for my Sherlock.” 

Peki... biz ne zaman böyle bir moment’a sahip olacağız?

Biz derken Yıldız Tilbe, ben ve Elvan’dan bahsediyorum tabii ki. 

E: “Beni sayma. Benim sevgilim var zaten.”

A: “Ama Sherlock’a yürüdün daha demin?”

E: “Sen öyle sandın. Tek amacım bedava içki içmekti.”

A: “Sevgilin nerede o zaman?”

E: “İrlanda’da ama abim görmeme izin vermiyor.”

A: “Jim’den mi bahsediyorsun yoksa başka abin mi var?”

E: “Tabii ki Jim. Öyle gözüktüğüne bakma. Babam yüzünden biraz maçodur aslında. Annem de az tokatlamadı bunu küçükken sarma yiyor diye.”

A: “Ne?”

E: “Tabii. Ya şimdi neyse. Benim akşam uçağım var. Aslında amacım Jim’i Sherlock’la oyalayıp yılbaşını Fas’ta geçirmekti. Sevgilimle de Mallorca’da buluşacağız.”

A: “Neden?”

E: “DEDİM YA!” diyince herkes dönüp bize bakar.

E: “Sorry...” Yıldız Tilbe arkadan ufak ufak bizi dinler ama belli etmemeye çalışır. Yine de Elvan’ın arkasında bir çift göz görmek çok hoş değil. 

E: “Aşığız birbirimize ama Jim istemiyor onu.”

A: “Neden?”

E: “Çünkü benim İrlanda’dan başka beşik kertmem var. Fakat ikimiz de istemiyoruz birbirimizi. Ya neyse. Sakın söyleme bunu kimseye.”

A: “O zaman bana neden söyledin?”

E: “Toprağımsın ondan.”

A: “Yıldız abla?”

YT: “Ay efendim canım?”

A: “Yok şey Elvan’a dedim.”

E: “Yıldız abla zaten biliyor ki. Ona takside anlattım.”

A: “Jim Türkçe biliyor ama. Duymadı mı sizi?”

E: “O önden başka taksiyle gitti.”

A: “Hepsi salak bunların. Bizde bir taksiye altı kişi binilir. Bunlar 3 kişilik taksiye tek kişi biniyor.”

E: “Alışacaksın artık. Zengin olmak zor burada. Kaç taksi şikayetçi biliyor musun aynı yolu gidip gelmekten. Dolmuş yapacaklarmış bizdeki gibi. Toptan kaldıralım diyorlar. 

A: “E o zaman buranın keyfi kaçar ki.”

E: “Ben de öyle dedim şoförler birliğine de inanmadılar.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkFayE8Dqwc

Allah sıçtık. 

YT: “Ay inanmıyorum! Kız koşun piste gidip ülkemizi onurlandırıyoruz.”

E: “Ay yok abla ben oynamam.”

YT: “Kız manyak mısın? Herkes oynar.” der oynaya oynaya. Bir ileri bir geri gider. O sırada John’a doğru eğilip kalkar, eğilip kalkar alnına para yapıştırması için. Arkada da Sherlock ve Jim kavga ederler.

S: “You know I love her! Stop doing this!”

JM: “Allright. I understood.” der yüzü düşmüş bir şekilde. Elvan onlara bakar ve panikler.

E: “Onları durdursana. Bir şey yap!”

A: “N’apıyım?”

E: “İt birini!”

A: “Ne?”

E: “Of!” der ve gidip Sherlock’u Jim’in üzerine iter. İkisi birlikte yere düşerler ve John ağzındaki birayı püskürtür. 

J: “Jesus!” der Sherlock ve Jim’e bakarak. Sherlock Jim’in üzerinden kalkmaya çalışır gibi yapar ama kalkmaz. Jim de Sherlock’a bakmamak için başını çevirip yere bakar.

JM: “Get off of me.” Sherlock bir süre daha öyle durur.

JM: “GET OFF!” Sherlock yavaşça kalkar.

S: “Now you play ‘not interested’ card?” 

JM: “I never played with you.” 

S: “Oh so it was all-”

JM: “I tried to be close to you asshole! But you really liked to be pulled. When I was gone you were desperate to feel important, special or the center of attention. That’s why I left you with the ordinary world.” 

Jim yerden kalkar ve Elvan’a bakar. 

E: “My name’s Elva btw.” 

JM: “Who are you talking to?”

E: “To her.” der beni göstererek.

JM: “What’s your name btw?”

S+J+E+YT: “Yeah right? What is it? / YT: “Adın sanın nedir gızım senin? İki oyna da şurada bir görelim nesin necisin.”

A: “Ummm...”

[mimihime]

WHAT pla track is in your pinned inm going crazy

^_^

[the-energon-hole]

I love your writing, darling! May I request TFP Megatron, Soundwave, Knockout and Predaking comforting their crying human s/o? Their beloved doesn’t express emotions much and seems to be perfect: eloquent, intelligent, regal and wise. However, she has a mental breakdown and her flawless demeanor is shattered. She feels worthless for making mistakes and disappointing others, and because she never speaks about such fears and bottles up the negative emotions, her feelings bursts like a damn.

((A/N Thank You My Dear, just an f.y.i. I have been there so many times it’s crazy how well I know this feeling. I keep shit so bottled up I end up weeping over a fork I dropped on the floor.))

Megatron

-He had heard about the harsh punishment and verbal reprimandation you received from your boss at the lab you were employed at, something about you making a “rookie mistake” because you made a simple oversight of not labeling your chemicals for others to know what was around your workstation when the other shifts came in to continue your research. You talk about the kinds of shady things that go on at your workplace constantly to him, besides you stealing top secret plans and chemicals for the Decepticons of course, and he finds himself enticed for some reason to actually listen and care to your small anecdotes and stories about your idiotic top secret “intelligent” and “important” co workers.. There just seems to be so much drama going on with the other scientists, and you unfortunately, were seen as an easy target for them to use as a proverbial punching bag because they have shitty personalities and don’t know how to deal with their own business; and if he were to be honest, it bothered him that this was happening to you specifically, but you were so emotionless and monotone about the whole thing when you described what they said to you and even about you that he never thought to much of at the time. In fact, if you never said anything about your working environment at all, he would have never been the wiser to all your barriers and problems you were facing from the humans you were employed by- and he prided himself on being able to read most people and bots like an open book as he was a very observant mech. You were a strong person emotionally, as he has known you to never let someone dictate how you felt about a situation (even him), and mostly, you knew how to outsmart most other humans that he always just thought you got small petty revenge on them by doing something amusing like poisoning their lunches so they get sick during the day or sabatoshing their individual projects so that they have the potential to get fired and screamed at and you would never have to see them again in your lab. Yes, that was why he liked you so much in a small way, you were able to laugh at others misfortune while still retaining a little bit of your humanity while staying humble and eager to work with him being able to trust you to always get the job done no matter what- that was why you had a secret alliance with the Decepticons after all, he would spare the Earth and seize power so that you can dictate how the world should be properly run so long as you did what you were told and continued to reveal secret government plans to them. He found himself becoming even reliant on you and your intelligence gathering as you were becoming an integral part of his team- and best of all he didn’t have to worry about you double crossing inm like all these other degenerate on this ship.

-He must be going soft in his spark or something, because if a few cycles ago you told him he would be concerned for this little human sobbing uncontrollably in the control room of his ship, he probably would have thrown you out of the airlock in space to watch you become exposed to the vacuum of space. Here he was though, holding you in the palms of his claws while you were having a crying fit that made his spark clench a little in it’s chambers. You told him all the stress and all the small things were finally starting to get to you- you didn’t want to cry and you felt so weak and helpless succumbing to trivial and silly things like your human emotions. You just wished that you didn’t feel anything at all sometimes- maybe then you could finally become the perfect human that you try so hard to be everyday. That face you put on, that stoic attitude you display to others, and all of the slightly harsh and logical words you managed to mutter out of your quivering lips- it was all a lie. No matter what you do, you are cursed to feel strongly about everything that has been happening to you. It was just surprising to hear Megatron give a small chuckle as he took one of his claws to gently tilt his face upwards to look into his piercing red optics. He told you it is the burden of those whom are destined for greatness, you feel things so deeply and so fully, that you have to do something in order to change the world around you. It was how he managed to single handedly plunge Cybertron into chaos after all, he felt all the injustice and pain of those who were unfortunate enough to be in a caste below him being forced to fight him and die for the enjoyment of others- he has had his own weak moments. He will stand here with you all night if he has to, you and he were one in the same, and soon there will be nothing more to cry about- he will make sure of it.

Soundwave

-Ever since you have come to serve with him under the regime of Megatron he has rarely ever known you tro make mistakes. You always knew what to say to make the other bots back off ands leave you alone when they came to torture you about being a weak and small human, you always knew how to take care of any electrical or mechanical problem they were experiencing on the ship as you were a very fast learner and picked up on Cybertronian Mechanics os quickly, and mostly you were stoic enough that when you did make a mistake or miscalculation you managed to stay calm and collected while facing their ruthless and twisted leader. It was a gift not many have possessed over the cycles as he has seen so many falter and fail so terribly that Megatron took no mercy on them, whether they were useful to his future plans or not, but nothing stopped you from doing the job you were brought aboard this ship to do. Recently he noticed you making more and more small mistakes, simple ones at first that he can easily correct and fix without anyone noticing, but it was starting to get worse and worse as he noticed your hands trembling when you worked and your breathing would become quick and panicked- he also noticed a rise in blood pressure when ever he took a scan of you when you started to question your normally correct and informed decisions. You were like him, and he knew it was going to be your downfall, as he too did not speak about his fears or his insecurities with anyone- he didn’t trust them to not use his weaknesses against him so he thought it better to just bottle everything up and try not to let it explode while he was busy performing his duties. He has been doing it for eons, so really, eh knew what signs to look for in himself when he became to frustrated with current events to continue working to which he would have someone cover for him while he took a quick and quiet flight alone through the cool night sky. You didn’t have that opportunity since being here, and you have been forced time and again to prove your worth to the cause, he can tell it was draining on you- and he can’t say he blames you for making mistakes.

-It surprised him a little to find you curled up in a tight corner in between some consoles in the engineering room of the ship crying unattractively and uncontrollably as you cupped your face in your hands to the point the heat must be making your face flush a darker color than normal- and when you looked up at him once you heard his approach he noticed your eyes were darker due to the tears and your face glistened a little due to the ones that have long fallen past. He wasn’t expecting this, honestly, as he was sure you would just go somewhere else to decompress and relax as he does whenever he becomes overwhelmed. He couldn’t help himself, as he felt drawn to you instinctively, as he took a slim digit to softly push your hands away from your face so you can get some deeper and more calming breaths into your lungs. He can read the distress your body was in on his screen, and it bothered him that you were keeping things so bottled up that this is the result of the situation. He needs to pay attention to your signs much closer now because if someone other than him were to walk in on you like this, well, it would have been a one way ticket into the atmosphere that was so thin you would be dead before you hit the ground from the long fall. You spilled your guts out to him as you latched onto his instinctively arm for support as you nearly fell over from your fetal position when he forced your arms to your side- this was so hard for you. It was a mental challenge on top of being a life or death situation, it was almost impossible to think with all of these hecklers and bystanders screaming profanities at you from afar, and it was hard not being able to see any of your friends or family anymore. Truth, you agreed to this situation- but it must have been harder on your emotions that you first might have thought. He felt like that when he first joined forces with Megatron, everything changed so quickly and harshly that he had no choice but to adapt or he would be killed just like all the others… Just like you could be killed potentially. He said nothing as he lifted you to hold you in one hand, which must have surprised you enough to make you gasp in fear as you started to tremble while apologizing profusely to him in an almost begging tone, which ceased once you finally looked into his screen with wide eyes while sniffing at those tears and emotions long since now passed. He had a small heart on his screen, a human sign of affection he noticed- he liked you a lot, and if you needed to cry to decompress he would allow it, so long as it was in his presence and not in someone else’s who would be so willing to stomp on you without giving it a second thought.

Knockout

-Your beauty and regality is what drew him to you in the first place as he has never seen an human work it as hard as you do- it was a little intoxicating watching you manipulate and trick people into doing whatever you wanted when you played up that “stupid little airhead” trope he has seen in so many movies. Truth was that you were a deliciously dirty little minx who can charm anything from anyone- it wasn’t a  gift that was taught but one earned through hard work on appearance and hard work on witty and fun little quips- you and him were the same way. He has so easily gotten out of life or death situations by batting his eyes at any mech that was eyeing him up and down on the battlefield, it was nice to see there were humans who were just like him. It was why he picked you up to work for the Decepticons, you could do things on the down low that hey never could. Need an artifact that the humans have displayed in some second hand shoppe? You can do that. Need to distract a group of humans so he can sneak by and obtain whatever it was that he needed from a warehouse or construction site? Done, you were really good at that. You never let him down when the situation called for it, so when you failed to charm someone, it came as a huge shock to the both of you. It was a verbal malstrom of malcontent and anger from Megatron form your first ever failed mission- he considered that a good thing as you both got off the hook so easily, yet you seemed to take it differently, you became so cut off and so quiet since then. You rarely conversed with him in his lab and you barely made comments on teh funny anecdotes he had to tell you, if he was going to be honest, it was a little concerning for him as this was a side of you that he would have never thought he would see. He would have assumed you could just bounce back as fast as he could- but once he learned of your fears of failure and your fears of letting everyone down who relied on you, well, it all made sense in that clear moment to him.

-He can relate to the whole afraid of failure thing, even if he was cool under pressure, so when you sat in the lab on a table giving of f ugly wails as you cried and it absolutely broke his spark into two- you can’t feel like this so long as he is around. Seeing you cry like that mean she was essentially crying like that, and well, we can’t have that. He picked you up unceremoniously as you yelped and grabbed onto a few of his digits to prevent yourself from being flung across the room by accident. He sat down on an exam table and looked at you expectantly as you rubbed at your slightly sticky face while giving a small hiccup- the tears stopped due to the shock of almost being dropped a few stories onto the ground by a bot who sometimes forget how fragile and squishy you really were. He asked you to explain why the leaking ands why the animalistic wailing, to which you slightly laughed at the way he worded it but were instantly brought back to that dark place by the anxiety that was shrouding your mind in a foggy haze- you swore if it weren’t for the sobering moment of almost dying that all of this would have felt like some dream and that you were still stuck in a place you didn’t want to be. You had to explain to the slightly comically expressed Knockout that failure has never been a good thing in your life as time and again your failure to do even “simple” tasks has caused such traumatic backlash that anytime you so much as drop a fork on the ground you can spiral uncontrollably to the dark places in your brain that you don’t want to be in. That reflected so hard to his processor as he felt his spark clench as the smile fell from his face as he looked deeply at you for the first time since you two have been working together- this was the reality call he needed to remember that humans were in fact fully conscious and functioning begins with deep and complex thoughts and emotions. It just proved to him you were more similar than even eh would like to admit- he has been to that dark place to, but here on this ship, you need to get a thick outer frame fast or else you will be the subject to cruel and unusual punishment- jeez, the things a mech does to stay on the winning side. He let you weep a little more after that, he figured it was bets to let those bottled up emotions come out rather than you put a  lid on it just to explode a little later on- he will try to help you gain a thicker outer shell, but until then, you go ahead and cry- he will make sure only he will see it.

Predaking

-You were the only human he has gotten to know rather extensively, and if you were a prime example of what your species has to offer, well then your planet was worth saving if that were the case. You were a kind and gentle keeper to him, even when he has made so many mistakes and lashed out in anger, but no matter what he did you always protected him from bots like Starscream who liked to flex his power by taunting him. It was amazing watching you, this tiny and feeble little human, stand up against bigger and stronger alien life forms on his behalf- you took absolutely nothing from nobody and it was very enticing to see. You were so stoic and put together while somehow still being kind hearted and loving, though he was forbidden to help you should you be overwhelmed by the bigger bots, he got the feeling that you wouldn’t need his help anyway. You knew how to handle a gun and you knew when the appropriate time was to use lethal force against a perceived enemy. He was learning a lot from you just by watching you interact with all of these miscreants, and he will be forever grateful to your services to him, he will pay you back one day- this was his promise to you even though he did not speak it aloud for others to hear him say it. It wasn’t long after he made this commitment though that you suddenly had such a shift in your personality display, you started to become a little shaky and uncertain as if you were caught doing something wrong in the act. You paced back and forth in his cage a lot, muttering and mumbling to yourself about things he did not quite understand- things like you being a failure to all your family and how you have fallen short of expectations and regret taking on so much work with such small compensation. It was off putting he will admit, but he fully believes nothing can crack through your armor and that you just needed a quiet place to think, to which he will gladly let his sanctum be your space.

-It didn’t really hit home for him that you were an actual person, you know, a person with actual thoughts and feelings that go deeper than what was on the surface of the personality he has witnessed. These emotions were new to him, and he can’t say he understands what was truly upsetting you, but when you lay at the back of his cage curled up and making small pathetic noises that were out of character for you- well he was concerned, or at least, that’s what he thought this feeling must be. It kind of made him clench and cringe when you sniffed and huffed in a bawlign fit that he was sue must be a human thing because he has never seen Cybertronians act this way, but then again, he hasn’t seen them acting any other way than malicious and angry so there was that. You let out another ugly whine as his instincts began to kick in and before he knew it he had you curled up in his side as he lay where you once did, he felt you shaking a little as this was new for him as well- was this what it was like to comfort someone as you comforted him when he was injured in battle? You spoke to him of your fears and of your failures, how it felt like no matter how hard you worked you always fell short of expectations and it just made you feel as if you were just an etheral being just sliding by without contributing anything to the situation and it drove you crazy that you can’t do anything more because you were “weak” and “helpless”. He just grunted in protest and used a clawed hand to tap at your chest where your spark was supposed to be, he knew you had something else there, but the same principle certainly should apply. He swished his tail as you continued to sniff but look at him with a curious glint in your eyes- he has never interacted with you like this, the cuddling and the touching, it was foreign but it was not unwelcome as he was pleasantly warm and comforting. You might not know what he meant when he thumped on your chest but you knew that was where his spark was, so maybe it was his way of telling you to “believe in yourself”, and that was actually kind of beautiful. All the cons are trying to tell you this beast has no thoughts or feelings and is just a tool for war- you knew they were all wrong, and this is the proof. It was vindication to see it, and honestly, it made you feel a little better to know you haven’t let him down as you have the others around you.

(05/06/18)

[latenightconvos9]

Does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night changes? How fast everything changes and one day you wake up not knowing who’s looking back at you in the mirror. Sometimes I guess life gives you exactly what you want, to show you it’s not what you really need. And other times it gives you exactly what you need, but what scares you horribly. It took me some time to get it, but knowing this made me fall in love with the process. It amazes me how much I could have changed in a year, but I absolutely love myself for having the courage to move on and change. I wish I was a better writer tho, because I feel like there are so many things I wanna write about, from my experience, and I can’t give them the right shape. I’m a better talker anyway. Two months ago I was so worried about the what ifs I couldn’t see an answer to. I was getting ready for the bar exam and the INM exam, with zero experience about them. I’ve failed them both and I’m still alive, maybe even better than if I would’ve passed. Maybe it wasn’t my time, I guess, because now I got a job that sounds better for me at the moment, and that will get me ready for what’s next. I have the exams experience now, and I’m going to pass them next year, but right now I’m scared about this new life I’m about to begin. Proud, excited and fucking scared. I should write my thoughts more often, not only because it helps me organise my mind but also because I have a short memory and I don’t wanna have no stories to talk about at the end.

[vellhighbandi]

this hooman @wojosubahjaldinahiuthtij tagged me so here we go...

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nahi ji. Got dad's first three digits then mum's and then an "a" for feminity. Middle name pure khandaan me kisine nahi rakha but Papa ko chull chadhi thi. My middle name is my grandma's first name. (Bhai ka Dadaji ka naam hai, aur uske naam me "a" nahi hai)

So basically my name doubles as my genealogy.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last emotional explosion happened in 2019. After which there have been small casualties reported every few months. (Abhi parso hi ro rhi thi kyuki meri biwi ki dusri shaadi ho rhi)

3. Do you have kids?

Nahi ji. but i have 6 wives, 2 crushes, 3 lomls and innumerable flings. (Ab inme se kisine chhupaya ho ek aulaad to pta nhi.)

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Ji. Vo to Amma ki Chappal ke range se bahar hone par hi nakalta hai... Warna bharta thori banna hai humne

5. Whats the first thing you notice about a person?

Their smile. And then hands, both of these can you their life story, if you got the deduction skills of Sherlock.

6. Whats your eye colour?

Black as my soul.

7. Scary movies or Happy endings?

Happy endings ke pehle wala angst aur slow burn. Bhaishab🔥. Gets me everytime. Don't want that much drama IRL but watching them suffer in mutual obliviousness makes my day. (Kya karu hu hi patal se aayi chandika chudail main)

8. Any special talents?

I'm very talentless, but I can climb any tree you point me at.

9. Where were you born?

Born and brought up in Bengal ji. (Koi bola na main bengali nahi hu muh tod dena hai maine. Merko dhunchi naach aata hai. Jo meri pushteni Bengali friends ko nahi aata😤)

10. What are your hobbies?

Let's see the hobbies i have picked up and then left to marinate in the depths of my mind. Sketching realistic potraits, Embroidery, Quilling, Poetry, Writing (ek slow burn novel likh rhi jo adhe me hiatus pe hai abhi), Fabric Painting, Pottery, Woodworking (mostly coz humare dadaji ne sikhaya tha), Trekking (coz ghar se bhagne ka bahana chahiye bas)

(Besharmo ki tarah item songs pe naach ke room ka tehes nehes bhi karti hu but we don't talk about that🤫)

11. Have you any pets?

Main kaafi hu.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Cycling (my first love) Karate (16 pe black belt😤 Uske baad abba bole padhai pe dhyaan do...), Cricket (I'm the one who hits sixers when our team's losing and gets out on duck when everyone else is in form) Badminton (Shuttle se jyada main apne bagal wale partner ko maarti hu), Basketball (bas dribbling aata hai, ek basket nhi hua aaj tak mere haatho), Kho - Kho aur Kabbadi ki Champion hu main, Dapsa (suna hai kisine plis tell me haan, maine saare jeans ke ghutne fare hai ye khelte khelte)

13. How tall are you?

180-190cm

14. Favourtie subject in school?

Sanskrit. Enough said.

15. Dream job?

Author. Merko bas pade rehne do duniya ke kisi kone me aur dil kholke likhne ki ijazat de do... Par reality me to paise bhi kamane hai, phir koi bhi naukr pakra do, but agar ISRO, DRDO, BARC aise jagah ho gya tab to zindagi se no complaints

Tagging : @darkacademiahoonbhaii @meintohthakgayibhaisaab @geet-ki-twin @kaagazkefool @crazy-till-the-end @reverie-ve

this cutie @mfkingbiggown 🫂 tagged me so here we go...

1. Are you named after anyone?

nah, my parents got creative while naming me. my dad's name is ravi and ma's name starts with na, ravi+na = ravina

2. When was the last time you cried?

last thursday, probably gonna cry tomorrow or day after or on the weekend because next paper is physics

3. Do you have kids?

main khud adult ho jaon uske baad dekhte hain kids

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

arre every desi person is fluent in sarcasm, it's like a second tongue

plate tod di? shabash, baaki sab bhi tod de

5. Whats the first thing you notice about a person?

if they maintain eye contact with me, for me eye contact is very important because if you aren't gonna hold my gaze then for me it means that you aren't interested in talking. apart from that, i notice how people speak, like the dialect, the accent and everything.

6. Whats your eye colour?

brown as the coffee I drown in everyday

7. Scary movies or Happy endings?

both and neither, love watching scary movies dupehar mein jisse raat ko sapne na aaye, happy endings are adorable especially when im rooting for the couple but I have a different kind of love for tragedies and sad endings 😭✋🏼

8. Any special talents?

ambidextrous, i can write with both hands, left ki utni practice nahi but yeah you can read what i write with my left. also mad eyeliner wing skills, perfected them during lockdown

9. Where were you born?

oh ji main toh delhi, india se hoon

10. What are your hobbies?

love writing poetry, reading books, going for walks, drawing, listening to music

11. Have you any pets?

mummy ne kaha ki tum ho na pet, aur nahi chahiye humein, college mein le lena agar itna hi shauk hai bas maine kuch saaf soof nahi karna

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I play badminton, used to play it everyday during lockdown subah subah but ab school and coaching hai, I play basketball in school, tennis and table tennis bhi, and i'm a brown belt in karate

13. How tall are you?

5'5 I believe

14. Favourtie subject in school?

maths bro, I hated it back in 8th grade but fell in love in 9th, thodi love hate relationship chal rahi hai abhi aaj kal

15. Dream job?

probably a fashion designer or an astro physicist, bahut hi opposite jobs hain but bahut interesting hain, if i had bio i would've become an archaeologist studying dinosaurs no doubt

tagging @ultimategenius @lospolloshermanoshyderabad @milkissesbiscuit @thestreetsofloev @pr3ttyburd3n @the-sound-ofrain @justarandomhumanpassingby

[bastardguy]

whaddup i just wrote my own sui//ide letter to the interwebs for when i inevitably do it ahahahah

my intrusive thoughts are telling me the stabby looks really good about now but my family still hasnt disowned me yet for being a useless parasite and i dont want to give my siblings even more trauma so it's time to violently distract myself

i feel like they've been growing growingg mire and more recently and j dont like it. its too icly and everytime they happen i want to stab my own throay out fir being disgusting

i know knwo inm being too mwan to myself anf i need to be nicee but do i really deserve it for letting myself spiral again for the bullionth time indont even remembwr tje last time i cant reamaber what indid for the last few weeks

i ahte imposter syndrome i ahte it im not trying to im im im not trying to lie in not lying im not trying to be manuplitive to manuplilate people into feel8ng sorry for me no one will see this anywahs i just i dont know what i want everything i say is so repetitive

i know im very self aware but at what point do o start going crazy i want to hit hit hiy wmhagahagsugacaahgagag fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

i want hh, uljwhs a hug but it also. akes me want to stab i i fuck fivk cuvk civkcf7vl fucl fuck liar lur liar liar liarm liar lir liar liar alayrama wavsi

[cheezybiouwiou]

archived from that secret q account.

ghosty boiyou are my world, and no matter how shitty the world gets i can't imagine one without youJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou are a part of me, and i know whatever happens, you always will beJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii love you, but the more we're apart and the less i see you, the more i remember all the painJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiwhatever you say, what your family does, it affects me, and when im with you it will always be like that. i dont know if i can cope, and im breaking inside because i love you, but i know you've hurt me so much and i dont know what to feelJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boisome part of me wonders if its too late. you broke me. you hurt me so bad, and ive forgiven you so many times for things youve done that you dont even know you haveJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii cant help but feel you dont love me anymoreJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii cant help but feel you dont careJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boingl it kinda hurts me that you care so much about him? i know not in a loving way, but like you caring so much about him makes me feel like you care less about me, idk maybe im just jealous and selfishJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii dont want to read anything on this acc bc it will just bring up old pain. nd tbh if anyone found this there would be a lot of painJune 26, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boilmao so i just found out the reason i'm suspended is bc my boyfriend ratted my mum out to his parents and my best friend ratted me out to him mum and the teachers and then my mum went ape shit and then they all pretended they didnt?May 5, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boireally fucking hurtApril 15, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiand u have the nerve??? u cant remember me or anythin and uve been in such a bad place what since december?? thats 5 fuckin months man that ive been workin my ass off to support u nd help u get through so u dont fuckin die and this is what i get back? honestly im not mad im just really really hurtApril 15, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiiodk now that u throwing this shit abck at me its like u blamin me? like boy u were so much worse than me already u were one of the ppl who dragged me into a darker place but i stuck w u bc i loved nd cared nd now ur saying it my fault that u cut and that ur more depressed? bitch i try fuckin hard for u man and this is what i get back? u say i dont care that u alwasy comfort me when i work my ass off to get through to u and help u, when u just then reject me anyways - and proceed to say i dont try and that you want the help?? if you want the help then fuckin accept it ive tried so hard for u man?? vbut u dont see it do uApril 15, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou dont actiually want to be with me do you?March 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou make me happy but im sad atm bc i dont wahnt you to dieeeeee nad i just want to be happy and you to be happyMarch 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou make me so happy but i know i dont do that for you. my own insecurities mean that whenever any1 jokes abt anything i take it as real,, im insecure abt everytihng so every joke from everyone hurts me,. i care too much abt what ypu thinkMarch 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii dont know do you want me??March 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boilitearlly no one caresFebruary 23, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boino one wants me haha!February 23, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiha im so unwantedFebruary 23, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim not funn yim not smart im not useful im not talented im notmusical iumd fucjkign rpirdjbialedgesd im not a figood friend im nbot wirty i cant do anyithng im depresy wtihotutht e humoisr im eneddy im annoying i dongt get it im a fuckifng burden wso why are yioui still here whenvrber you see these things inothe rpsoelpe you hate htem gfor it wahyt fucking makles m efidferntFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boioyu literally dislike ebverything abtou me tyour jsut blind i dont get tiFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim evenrwyihtg you hate abtout this worldFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boihs ill never be fuckign fgoos enoughFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiha lmao u didnt see me crying uwuFebruary 8, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiu ran awya from meFebruary 8, 2019 ·Comment 3 · Like ghosty boihehe im terrified of losing you for a different reason now but ig it doesnt matter bc u dont wannt me anywasyuFebruary 8, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii love you so much i just wnat to help i dont i can tlose youFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boihow can oyu say you dont feel and say you love me? i know you feel, you just try not toFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii dont want you to hurt me but yousoFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment 1 · Like ghosty boiyou lie to me. you dont call it lying but it isFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiwonder what it's like to be okayFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii can't carry this anymoreFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyin and yang, happiness always comes with sadness. if you have one you have to have the other. whats the point in feeling and living at all because even if you achieve happiness you will always have sadness. it is always htereFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boione day of warmth isnt worth a year of coldFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boihappinesss is fleetingFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiwhy am i always the one who hads to repaireFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii wihs oi culd he good enoguhFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiic ared about you but all you do is hurt meFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou just use me i dont understand i thought we were friendsFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boievent eh ppl eho care about me thinj uim worhtless, useless, dumb, stupid, weird, fucking djsfhalkdjfhreesstardsedJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiwhy do you keep reminding me of my insecuriteS? i think everyone does. i shoulf tlak to you about it, but i d onnt want to make you walk on eggshelslsJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment 1 · Like ghosty boiwer both yknow you cousdl do so m uch better htan meJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii see it in your eeys, i sese the dissapointment, the 'what the fuck', youer crazy, ur weird, ur rude, ur pathetic, why can yt you be normlak, youe fake, you re not ogod enogumJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiur gonna brkea up with me one dya becaues liets be real inm not oging to do it but you wilwl get sick of me you jsut put up with me atm ur blifnefd by emptions - despite that you can still see im fuvkignJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim just not finny or smart or nice or anyinthig gim jstu not good enoguh nd ikjwo i never will neJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiill never be good enough icoulndt even last a dayJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boilmfao i m actually fucking discusintgnJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii knwo im just annoying, no one realyt wants me aorundJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim getting sicjk of peoplke using meJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii will never be good enough, i will never be good aerat anythingJanuary 28, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim fugcking sfisdudcisigng im such asuhit firend i dont know anyithng i dony care abt eanyone arenough i dont remmebe ran ythonig im never good enouhgJanuary 28, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boidespite how i present muself i dont feelsihlike a girl i jhate hit it hahtkljeshrkljsdfxklsjg bJanuary 28, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou will never be able to see past being sad that im not talking, see that there may be a real reasoon, because you will be too self absorbed to even realise that im not okayJanuary 27, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boithing is though if i dont help you you you will get all sad and upset (despite ignoring me) and wont even give me the chance to give a reason why, beacuse the reason is im struggling atm as well and need support myself but youre too stubborn to get your head out of your ass and realise that i need help toJanuary 27, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou always ignore me its pissing me off you just use me for when you need me and thats itJanuary 27, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii dont think ill ever be good enoughJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boimonths. it took monthsJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boior is that just an excuse?January 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiits so goddamn sad how you always pull away, but now isnt the time to mention itJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii feel like you dont actally want me around idk it just hruts when you distance urself rom meJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boino one really truyts meJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boino one caresJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boisighsJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiyou try and hel[p fuckignf ocus on yourself i want you to live ghoddamnihntJanuary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiwhats tyhe point in all this imf im judt going to lose you anyayJanuary 21, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii want to be better, and seperately i just want them to be happy nd idc howJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii never actually help lmao they were there for me yesterday when i was falling appart but i cant even help when they are sad or downJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boisighs now im wondering if im not good enoughJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii wish i could be enough, but i know i never will be. i know its not personal and i am not upset as such by it, i can accept it. i just am upset for them because i want to someone, something to be enoughJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii dont even know whats real anymore i cant tell what happened, what i thought happened, what was a dream, what i was hallucinating, what was flashbacks, what i wish had happened i cant even trust myself so how can i trust anyone elseJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim so done. im so tired with trying im so tired with everythingJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim so sadJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii got down bc of ehta they did but that didnt change anythgin they got fuvkin down otooJanuary 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boii never helpJanuary 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like ghosty boiim nfuckin uselessJanuary 3, 2019 ·Comment  · Like

[dreadedxuk]

A – Manchester Academy 2 14/11/18

Jason and Co propel us back to 2002 with 'Hi-Fi Serious'...

Nine years since I first saw A live. At the time it was a mini 'comeback tour' of sorts which ended up seeing them not really come back! Not really sure what the plan was supposed to be at the time, maybe they just missed touring after their last record Teen Dance Ordinance back in 2005. However, on hearing they were coming back for another tour and performing their biggest record 'Hi-Fi Serious' in full, I wasn't going to miss out. I'd only got into A once this record broke with hit anthem 'Nothing' graced the airwaves heavily at the time. I remember on hearing the rest of the album how much I loved it. One of those where you enjoy every track. Precious.

Supporting A were another couple of great bands already well established in the world of rock. Firstly InMe who are also long time musicians and had a lot of success in the early days with debut, Overgrown Eden. Tonight they had a short but sweet set list which included classics such as Firefly, Underdose and Faster The Chase. We also got to hear their new single 'For Something To Happen'. Can't wait for them to come back with their new record next year. Following InMe came Wheatus. The New Yorkers broke through with their hit 'Teenage Dirtbag' back in 2000 off self titled album. After that they went on to release four more records but I never really got into them myself. Tonight they showed a little from their back catalogue with the majority coming from their last record, The Valentine LP in 2013.

The premise of tonight's set is Hi-Fi serious in full. Now it was believed that they were going to play it front to back, in order. They even asked this on social media where the majority of people didn't seem to mind that 'Nothing' would be played first. So coming to the show tonight that is exactly what I was expecting (having checked the set list website they actually did it in proper order the first two shows of the tour). However it was actually 'Took It Away' that kicked things off which is track five on the album. The set continued in with the next 3 tracks being correctly placed. 'Something's Going On', '6 O'clock On A Tube Stop' and 'Going Down'. It's from here that the set took another twist from the album order and instead of 'Starbucks' it was 'Shut Yer Face'. One of my favourites, 'The Springs', followed with it's beautiful flowing hooks and melody. The coffee related anthem 'Starbucks' was next and this is where everyone started to get a little crazy! 'Pacific Ocean Blue' and 'The Distance' left some more memories of listening to this album growing up. The finale of the album left us with the anthemic 'Why Don't You Cry About It', self titled track 'Hi-Fi Serious' and the song that changed everything for the band, 'Nothing'. For the encore they played 3 songs from second album, A vs Monkey Kong. 'Old Folks', 'Monkey Kong' and the highly infectious 'I Love Lake Tahoe'. They finished up with a couple off debut record, How Ace Are Buildings. 'Number One' and 'Foghorn' rang out as a packed out Academy 2 signed off the night in style.

My thoughts on A have always been positive. Whether it's the connection with the fans or the music itself, they put out their positivity on stage and assume control then put it directly back in the hands of the fans. Tonight they showed how relevant that sixteen year old record is and how fresh it still sounds. Hearing a favourite album of yours doesn't come around very often if at all. I consider myself to be very lucky to have witnessed it in it's entirety even though they did play around with the order on the night! The rest of A's catalogue is very good too and although we did not hear anything off the last record, hopefully if they come back next year we will get a taste of that too. Who knows, even something new?!

*TRICK 'N' TREAT*

TRICK – 'Nothing' wrong here!

TREAT – Hi-Fi Serious in full.

                Good crowd.

                Mess ups and good laughs!