#IT TOOK UNTIL LOOP 45 LAST TIME??????

[bluebellplayinggames]

oh siffrin dissociating their way through several loops without knowing it started a LOT earlier than it did last time

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Ok Wild Angsters, you wanted a continuation, so here you go :)

Four already knew what he would be walking into. His phone had been blowing up for hours. He’d come in to work early. Whether he was assigned to take care of Wild or not was another matter - Vaati loved to try and take all the admissions, convinced he was the best nurse on the unit. If Four could just keep Vaati out of Wild’s room, he’d consider it a success.

When the charge nurse told him he would be admitting the trauma alert, he knew who he was getting.

Pre-admission jitters always made Four anxious, but this was an entirely other level of fear. He almost wanted to request a different assignment, but it was too late now. What if he couldn’t take caer of him because he was his friend? What if that impair his decision making? What if he just wasn’t skilled enough to handle it? He knew Ezlo wouldn’t give him an assignment he couldn’t handle, wouldn’t be there to support him, but still…

Four went over the supplies in his room once more. Safety checks were fine—they had suction, they had a bag valve mask, the code card was nearby—and he had all the supplies he needed. It was just a waiting game.

Four paced the unit at least three times before he looked at the OR status board again. Wild was still in surgery. He poked in his chart, glancing at injuries, looking at vital signs and anesthesia notes. The last update he saw was that Wild had gotten another unit of blood. Estimated blood loss so far was around 2200mL.

2200mL. That… wasn’t too terrible, Four supposed. He’d… seen worse.

Please don’t get worse.

Four knew for certain that Wild had been mass transfused in the ED. Warriors, his primary nurse when he was there, had told him as much. Between that and the multiple blood products he’d gotten in surgery, as well all the crystalloids he was likely getting as well…

Four took a breath. Then another. He grabbed his phone, texting Warriors. You doing ok?

Wars didn’t reply.

Four wasn’t entirely sure where everyone was at this point. Hyrule had stayed at the hospital, lingering in the emergency department and then the operating room waiting area, but Four hadn’t seen him since he’d clocked in. Warriors and Legend should be getting off shift now, but whether they were going to stay up was another matter. Time was obviously in the OR (Wild’s wreck had been around 10pm, he’d arrived in the ED around 10:45, and he’d been stabilized for surgery and gone to the OR by around midnight - it was 7am now… he wasn’t sure how long this was going to take, but it couldn’t be much longer). Malon should be getting on shift now as well - she had come in last night when everything had gone down, alongside Twilight. Wind had been cautiously left out of the loop until Wild had gone to surgery, simply because nobody had really had much information at the time, so no one wanted to worry the kid until they could figure things out. Everyone had their hands full as it was. But by now, Four knew Wind was either in the OR waiting room, harassing every respiratory therapist he knew, or in the hospital library pacing anxiously. As for Sky, the last Four heard he was bouncing between different people, checking in on everyone.

He clicked through more anesthesia notes, looked at flow sheets for blood products. There wasn’t much to go on, as charting was sparse. What Four did know was that Wild had been obtunded, got mass transfused, had gotten a chest tube, had been intubated, blood was evident in his abdomen, and he had an open femur fracture. He’s been taken to Time’s OR for a ex-lap. Head CT had shown a bleed, and they were monitoring it. That was all the information Legend had told the group when he’d had a moment to spare.

Four’s vocera activated, telling him he had a call from the charge nurse. When he answered, he was told Malon had called and said they’d be finishing up in about thirty minutes and were likely to come up open.

Why was he coming up with his abdomen open? When had they gone from exploratory laparotomy to a full on open abdomen?

Ten minutes later, Malon called back to give report. When Four answered, the first thing he asked was, “How’s he doing? Is he okay? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Malon said, even though she sounded exhausted. “And he’s… hanging in there. I’ve seen worse, I’ll say that. I’ll give you the full rundown, okay?”

Four listened as Malon gave report, feeling his heart settled into his stomach, which was tying itself in knots. Multiple spots of bleeding, possible compartment syndrome in his abdomen, a likely kidney injury due to compression from the bleeding on some major vessels, a small hematoma in his brain… they’d had to call neurosurgery to do an emergency craniotomy out of overt concern of swelling, given that Wild had apparently had previous head trauma, based on what they saw in the OR.

Open abdomen, craniotomy, ICP monitoring, bleeding, one chest tube… this was a disaster. Four swallowed as he wrote, feeling his hand shake a little as his heart raced. He was not qualified enough to be admitting this. He was not.

But the turnaround on his unit was pretty insane, and he was the most experienced nurse on the unit today. At least Ezlo was charge; he knew he’d be well supported.

This was a nightmare. But Four had dealt with nightmares, and he would deal with this. He wasn’t going to screw up taking care of any patient, but especially his friend.

Sighing, he hung up the phone after thanking Malon, pushing worries for her and Time aside, trying to focus on what he would need, who he should grab to help him, and how he should prep his room.

It was time to get to work.

When everyone arrived from the OR, Four made brief eye contact with Time. He couldn’t read much from the man, who was stone faced, aside from the exhaustion evident in the dark circles under his eyes. Four got to work quickly, assessing Wild from head to toe as he looked to see what IV medications he was on. A coworker wrote the note while Ezlo helped detangle his lines (the OR always brought up a mess, after all). Time gave an overview of the surgery, and Four listened along as he checked pupils, as he zeroed the arterial line and the ICP monitor, as he listened to lung and heart sounds, as he checked the chest tube and stripped it with his fingers to ensure patency, as he checked peripheral pulses, as he looked at the abdominal dressing to get a baseline in case there was swelling from bleeding later. One of the techs connected the chest tube to wall suction, and Four looked over his drips. Only having levophed at 2 wasn’t terrible, and he was getting a unit of red blood cells, which was in a transfusion set that was y’d to some lactated ringers fluid. He was on propofol for sedation. Another nurse grabbed a blood gas from his arterial line and sent off labs. His foley he had was temp sensing, and Four quickly ascertained that Wild was cold, so he set up the blanket warmer and covered his friend up.

His friend. His friend.

Four shook his head. He had to focus.

As Time left the room, he put a hand on Four’s shoulder, making him freeze. The surgeon didn’t speak, just locking eyes with him. Four wasn’t entirely sure if it was for his own benefit or not. But he had no more time to let his emotions make any decisions for him. He nodded to the doctor, who nodded in return, and then the two went their separate ways.

This was going to be a long day.

[matthewbernardswife]

Hookup? pt.2 ~ Chris Sturniolo

a/n: sorry this took so long! hope you like it!

summary: After meeting at a party you and Chris hookup. you thought it was more than that but he thought otherwise.

warnings: smut, oral (f,receiving), fingering, cursing, unprotected sex (protect yourself at all costs), more smut

Chris x fem reader

part 1

It has been a week and Chris still hadn't texted or called you. You continue to think about what happened last week. How his cock filled you up so well, and how his tongue moved in rhythm with your moans. You needed to distract yourself so you decided to go to another party. You go alone because your friends are busy and you figured that you'd make some friends there.

As you arrive you enter a booming house. People everywhere along with smoke in corners. You head to the bar and get yourself a drink. As you are drinking a guy comes up to you. "Hey i love your dress!" You can tell from his voice and how he is dressed that he is gay. "Thank you so much! I love your glasses." He smiles and replies, "Thanks. I'm nick by the way." "Nice to meet you I'm y/n." "Are you waiting for your friends or something?" "No I came alone." "Well I'm your new friend because I'm not gonna let you stand alone with tweakers around." You smile and talk with nick at the bar. you guys dance for awhile and talk to others. You and him decide to leave. You give him your number and go home.

The next day he texts you and invites you over to his house that night. You accept and head over there after you get ready. As you are driving you recognize the area but brush it off until you pull into the driveway. You then realize that this is Chris's house and Nick is his brother. You act like you don't know anything as you ring the doorbell. Nick answers it and hugs you. "So i have to brothers and we are triplets so don't get to creeped out when you meet them." "I think i'll manage." You go upstairs and see Chris and his other brother sitting on the couch. Your stomach drops to your toes when he locks eyes with you but you quickly look away. "So that's Matt and that's Chris." "Hi, i'm y/n." "Nice to meet you y/n." Matt says. "So i was thinking we could watch a movie in my room if you want." "Yeah, that would be cool." You guys go upstairs to his room. "Shit, i forgot snacks." "It's okay i'll go get them." "Okay, you can probably ask one of them downstairs to find everything."

You go downstairs and Chris is the only one one in the living room. He walks over to you as he notices you looking for stuff in the kitchen. "Hey, long time no see beautiful." Chris's voice was low as he said that behind me. "Hey." You reply kinda coldly. "What's with the tude." "You haven't texted me once since that night so you clearly don't care." He takes a deep breath. "Well, you haven't left my mind once." "Same." You quietly say. "I've missed you...so...much." His voice was seductive which made chills go down your spine. He steps closer and wraps his arms around your waist. "I should probably go back up to nick. He's waiting on snacks." He let's go and opens the snack cabinet for you. You grab snacks and head back up to nick's room.

As you watch the movie your mind is only focused on Chris. The scene of what happened in the kitchen replays in your mind on loop. Chris's face close to yours as he spoke low and seductive. Once the movie ends it's 12 am. Nick checks the time. "It's late and I would feel bad if you had to drive home so you can stay here for tonight if you want." "Sure, i live like 45 minutes away anyway." "Perfect, then i could set you up something here or if you want on the couch." "The couch will be fine since i move a lot when i sleep and don't want to kick you." You both laugh a bit before nick takes down a pillow and a blanket for you on the couch. Matt and Chris are in their rooms so the living room is quiet an dark.

You lay on the couch by yourself before you hear footsteps. Chris emerges from the darkness of the stairway and notices you. He comes and sits by you on the couch. "Hey. What are you doing still up." "Can't sleep." A smirk grows on his face. "I could help with that." Suddenly you are straddling Chris's lap with kissing him with hunger. Your tongues are fighting for dominance as you guys are in a heavy make out session. You move you hips on his which cause him to groan in the kiss. You slowly start to feel a firmness underneath you in his lap. He carries you to his room and lays you down on the bed and crawls over you. Seeing him hovering over you gets you excited. You start to feel a familiar wetness in you panties. He starts to kiss your neck while his hands move under your shirt, caressing the soft skin. Chris slides your shirt over you head revealing your bra. he unclips it and takes it off. His fingers run along you beasts and your nipples harden. He starts to suck on one while massaging the other. Sounds of pleasure escape your mouth as he gives the other nipple the same attention as the first.

His shirt is now off and his hands roam your body. he slides off your sweats and his, leaving you both in your underwear. He kisses down your stomach leaving love bites along the way until he reaches you panties waistband. He takes them off with his teeth and throws them. Chris licks his lips as he takes in the view of your glistening folds. "So wet for me baby." "Mhm." "I've misses this perfect pussy." He licks down your folds coating his tongue in your juices. He presses a kiss to your throbbing clit before putting it his mouth. Sucking while flicking his tongue makes you let out moans. His fingers find your hole and enter. He's tongue and fingers working in rhythm to push you over the edge. "You close yet mama." His words against you clit make you moan out a yes. He doubles his efforts, pumping his fingers faster and sucking harder on your clit. You clench around his fingers and cover his hand in your release. He works you through your orgasm and pulls his fingers out. He licks his digits clean. "Taste so good. Can't wait to be inside you."

He pulls his boxers off revealing his huge dick, that you're still not used to. "Get on you hands and knees for me." You do so and runs his hands over your ass. You arch your back as he lines up and he bites his lip. He grabs your hips as he pushes in. You moan as you feel every inch of him inside you. He grits his teeth. "Such a tight pussy." He starts to thrust and that makes your back arch more. His thrusts are so hard, your face gets pushed into the pillow. With every thrust his tip kisses your cervix. Moans from both of you fill the room. "I-i think i'm c-close." you manage to get out. "Me too...mmph." His thrusts become faster and harder which makes you moan loud into the pillow. His hand finds your clit and rubs it firmly. You clench around him and he pinches your clit which sends shocks of pleasure through you. "F-fuck." You cum around his cock covering it. He soon twitches in you and fills you up with thick ropes of his cum. He pulls out and lays next to you.

You guys lay there while you catch your breaths. "That was incredible." "Hell yeah." He gets up and grabs a towel from his closet and cleans you both up. You get back in your clothes and lay in the bed again. "I'm never not texting you again." You laugh a bit. "You missed this pussy too much." "Yes i did." "I should probably go back up to the couch so they don't suspect anything." "That's probably right."

The next morning you wake up on the couch. Chris comes into the living room and sits by me. Nick soon after comes into the living room and sit on the couch. "How did you sleep y/n" "I slept well actually." "I could barely sleep because of all the noise i heard in Chris's room." Me and Chris glance at each other and our cheeks get red. Nick looks confused for a minute before saying, "ew! i knew Chris was fucking someone down there!" You and Chris laugh. "You guys are sick."

divider by: @bernardsbendystraws

tags: @loveparqdise @h3arts4harry @afilmbykay @peiivnao @lolastrniolo

[tactical-mode]

Bedroom Games | Final Fantasy VII (Ep. 22)

remember to turn on CC for the captions!

This episode was (almost) straightforward! Aside from two shots, this is Remake through and through, right down to the music track.

On the cutting room floor are a couple of fights where Tifa and Aerith run around beating up goons. I have plenty of footage and might come back to release it as a deleted scene one day. For now, enjoy some of the best moments in screenshot form:

Meanwhile, our episode starts in Corneo's bedroom. The first of the two original shots comes to us outside of the bedroom - I timed Aerith opening the door to be as funny as possible, I still kind of laugh at that. I took several versions of this shot, some of which have Aeris and Tifa already kicking the crap out of the goons when the camera pans over.

And, I also filmed this fight in traditional Tactical Mode style, enjoy these extra screenies:

Back to Cloud and Corneo, the flow of this scene is unchanged from Remake, which translates the OG's dialogue tree into more of a realistic conversation. MANY new lines from Remake have been carried over, such as:

Corneo: "So, you're a man, eh? What are you three up to?"

Tifa: "Don't play dumb with me. Let's try again."

Corneo: "Did I stutter?"

That said, many OG localization choices replace Remake's script in our subtitles. The Don's final pun was written by me in order to restore the OG line about "babbling on" - and mask the fact that the end of this scene in both games has a multiple-choice minigame. I know I said I would try not to put any creative spin on anything, but in this instance I felt backed into a bit of a corner.

I chose to let his lil' dance run its course, and we get Remake's new time-out option.

The second original shot happens in the middle of this sequence, when Tifa and Aeris bust in. The original camera angle was very male-gazey for no reason (see below). To refilm it, I had to slow the game engine down to 10% speed, set a camera path that kept the girls in focus, time it with the action, then film it in slow motion and speed the footage back up to real-time. The result is a better shot, although sadly the lighting on their faces at the beginning of the shot is less than gorgeous (the good lighting falls on their bodies until the characters land on their marks). The camera position at the end of the shot is the same, but we follow their heads now instead of their bodies to get there.

Here's a comparison shot below:

Musically, Smash Em Rip Em by Naoyuki Honzawa underscores the scene - specifically the second half. It's more or less how the scene in Remake is underscored, although in-game it loops and cross-fades at times. I really like the Those Who Fight motif creeping in while Cloud is getting battle-ready at the (45-second mark). The first half of this track is an electro-pop remix of Tifa's Theme, and it will ABSOLUTELY underscore that deleted scene I mentioned earlier... should I return to it.

Final Thoughts

And with that, we wrap up Chapter 9 and solidly cross the half-way point of the series!

This episode was a breeze to make compared to the last few. I hope you enjoy! Next episode we meet two very important characters that will expand the scope of the story. Stay tuned!

[h16h-v0l7463]

@br0adsw0rd

The arcade probably wasn't the best place to be warming up, all things considered, with the uneven beat-up carpet and numerous corners and sharp edges to fall on or bump into, but, just like with anything else he did, Amir had his reasons. The ambient noise from the various cabinets not only helped to drown out any potential distractions, but had the added bonus of helping him determine how long he was holding each stretch without having to check his watch constantly the entire time -- the title theme for Caliber Chicks II was around 45 seconds long, and LETHAL KONFLICT played the same exact 30-second demo loop every five minutes while idle. Much, much easier than counting in his head, and it left his mind free to wander while he went through the motions. Up on the tips of his toes, rolling back onto his heels, and back up again, over and over until he estimates that it's been about three minutes since he started. Heel-toe rocks, 180 seconds. Check.

Not that he didn't care for warming up, he knew it was important, but the same routine every day for however many years starts to get tedious without any distractions. Lifting up his right knee to his chest, holding it there for about fifteen seconds, and then back down and on to the left, so on and so forth for another three minutes. Knee hugs, 180 seconds. Check.

He did much longer reps nowadays, though. Had to -- learned that the hard way. Thirty seconds of each just didn't cut it anymore. Ever since the good doctor's interventions, he found himself pushing and passing limits nearly every day. Soon enough, he had a feeling he would outpace his current routine and be upping the times and reps yet again. Bending his right knee back, grabbing his heel and holding it tight against his glute for fifteen seconds, back down and now the left, repeat for another three minutes. Standing dynamic quad, 180 seconds. Check.

In a way, it was a point of pride. Any mechanic or tech worth their salt knew that a piece of machinery was only as good as its maintenance routine, and thinking of his body as another piece of equipment in need of calibration felt… more apt than ever lately. And, his routine was pretty damn good, if he said so himself. Can't go giving the serum all the credit there. cross-body shoulder stretch, 60 seconds each side. Check.

But on the other hand, of course, this all took time, and patience was never one of Amir's strongest suits. Arthur had given him the heads-up that they were planning on heading out… how long ago, now? Twenty minutes, about? He was nearly finished, but still, a much longer lead-time than he was sure anyone would like, himself included. As Amir lowered himself down into a full plank for the last handful of reps, he could feel eyes on him. He didn't bother turning around. An impatient sigh and the rustle of tactical gear as Arthur leaned against the wall of the arcade's entrance told him exactly who was waiting on him before he even opened his mouth to speak. This back-and-forth was routine for them by now, and Arthur's remarks thankfully didn't distract Amir much as he continued, bringing his left foot up next to his left hand and leaning into the stretch.

"Yeah, yeah, nearly finished…" Holding the first position for a few seconds, Amir then turned to lift his left arm straight up. As he did so, Amir was able to glance over his shoulder in Arthur's direction. "Just started the last stretch. Twelve-to-eighteen reps on each side. You've gotta know the drill by now, big guy." That was, of course, not at all the routine, and Arthur had to have known it, because he protested immediately. Amir grinned, but didn't slow down. Hold for ten seconds. Back down into the lunge. Back to a plank. Now to the right leg, rinse and repeat. Arthur was predictable. By the time he was done messing with him, his usual four reps each would be done, and he'd be ready to roll.

"Awright, fine, fine, you're twistin' my arm," Halfway done. "Tell ya what -- I'll knock it back to ten each, just for you." Amir suppresses a laugh - not for Arthur' sake, of course, but to keep his form. He's turned away again, but he can tell from Arthur's tone alone that he's This Close to either dragging him bodily out of the arcade, or leaving without him altogether. Amir lets him finish huffing and puffing, trying not to look too smug as he wraps up his final two reps, aaaand… Done! Runner's stretch, four reps each side. Check. Amir relaxes his arms and legs, dropping down onto the arcade carpet for a moment before jumping back up.

"Ooo-kay, that's prrobably good enough!" Another grin as he dusts himself off. "Remember, though, if I pull anything because you were rushing my warm-up, that's on you, not me. So!" Amir claps his hands together with a frustrating amount of enthusiasm. "Where are we hitting today?"

[daneiarwrites]

Missteps of Yesterday

Chapters:

1

Chapter warnings: None

Word count: 6.9k

Chapter 2: Pleased to Make Your Acquaintance

ROBYN

Robyn groaned at the blare from a metro horn echoing down the tunnel. Shifting her sunglasses higher on her nose, she took a gulp from her orange water bottle and willed the pain pills she'd taken that morning to make their impact. 

She jumped at the red 9:45 that scrolled across the station display. Running two hours behind for work, she'd missed the morning assembly, and the meeting Principal Stewart had thrown together hastily the night before to discuss testing. Robyn’s heart dropped from her chest, through her back, and onto the couch when she read the frantic text from Darius that morning asking where she was. 

Robyn answered through a Zinfandel-induced headache that she forgot to schedule time off for a doctor’s appointment and promptly rushed to her bedroom to trip around until she looked decent in a blouse and shirt. 

Her morning, fated to worsen, followed through on its promise when she put her car key into the ignition, and the Godforsaken vehicle wouldn't budge. Not a cough or putter of life. After getting it towed ten miles to the highest Yelp-reviewed car shop in town, she suffered through a Lyft ride that ended abruptly after an accident caused traffic halfway to the school.

She'd scampered to the nearest metro station, and, as luck would have it, she had to board the second train after missing the first one due to a faulty metrocard and piece-of-shit turnstile that could only open halfway and wouldn't accommodate her hips. 

Robyn plopped into an empty seat. If there was any consolation for running late, she missed the early morning rush where complete strangers could stare you dead in your face because the car was so packed. Only a few riders occupied the seats, so she could check her email from Principal Stewart ordering her to come to her office once she arrived, and no text messages from Kent in the past three days, in peace.

She could bury the hangover with some of her dignity intact if it weren't for her ex-husband pretending she didn't exist. One of the last shreds of her self-respect went down the drain when he didn't respond to her text asking how he was doing. The lonely blue bubble stared back at her for two days. Finally, on the third day, the anniversary of their end, she'd been desperate and considered calling him but would die of embarrassment if that went unanswered, too. So instead, she’d eaten the slight from the man she used to love with her head held high and red wine to her lips. 

Suddenly, the metro slowed to a stop. 

"What the..." Robyn sat up a bit, and the crack of the P.A. system sounded overhead. 

"Attention all riders–there is a problem with one of the tracks up ahead. This will put our trip back about fifteen minutes. Thank you for your patience."

"Of course," Robyn muttered to herself and had to stifle a spiteful chuckle. Because why wouldn't this happen, too? She deserved it, right? 

She responded to Principal Stewart's email apologizing for her tardiness. She told her she'd be at the school by ten-thirty, giving herself some extra time just in case the metro had any other inconveniences. While waiting for the train to move on, she googled a link to The Top 10 Things You'll Experience a Year After Divorce and validated herself with each section. Accept the second-to-last one. 

Divorce is not a failure. 

Robyn snorted. Wasn't it, though? Deciding to stop instead of walking to the finish line during a relay race was not a runner 'doing their best.' It was a withdrawal from potential victory. 

Against her will, Robyn's mind drifted to an argument she and Kent had. They'd been in the living room, crying and screaming at one another. The memory of every word said that day played on loop anytime her brain wasn’t on her work or her family. She wished she could curl herself into a ball, or maybe into nothing, just to rid herself of the experience. The look of rage and despair on Kent's face was cemented in her mind and what she most often saw when she pictured him.

The metro started moving again, and her memories didn't cease until the car arrived shakily at her stop. She needed to take a bus for the remaining stretch to the school, but her stomach growled. She'd skipped breakfast, wary of her upset stomach, but she was starving now. Lunch was hours away, and water would only do her so well. The line couldn't be that long, and she was right next to the bus stop–there was no way she could miss it. Even with her luck today, there was no way. 

Robyn followed the sweet aroma to where food trucks were parked on the curb. Though she never remembered its name, she could always spot her favorite truck with its red awning and fresh doughnuts in the display window. Robyn stepped in line behind a tall man, eager to bite into a Tiger tail doughnut. An older gentleman with a broom-like mustache at the register smiled when she approached the counter. 

"Can I have one Tiger tail, please?" She went for her wallet, looking for a five-dollar bill and change. 

"Sorry, ma'am. We're fresh out. That guy just took the last one." He tossed a finger toward the tall man walking down the sidewalk. 

Aghast, Robyn squealed, "Fresh out? It's only ten in the morning!" 

The cashier shrugged. "We're making a fresh batch right now if you have twenty minutes." 

Robyn groaned. "I don't–”

The roar of a bus engine moments away had her tossing her money in his direction. "I'll take a regular glazed!" 

Robyn caught the bus right when the driver was about to fold the doors closed. Ignoring his grumblings about being late, she found an empty seat with her uninspired doughnut, eyeing it glumly before her line of vision caught something else. 

Her tiger tail. 

It was across from her in the hand of the tall customer that'd been in front of her. She must've been staring at it pretty hard because she heard, "Hey, you cool?" 

Robyn jumped at the voice and blinked. She glanced up and right into the eyes of the gentleman it belonged to. She hadn't expected him to be handsome, or even notice that he was, and was momentarily at a loss for words. Uninterested in testing the limits of her already shitty day, she decided not to make a fool of herself and rushed to find words to say.

"Uh, sorry. You..." Robyn pointed at the pastry and chuckled despite herself. "You took my tiger tail. That was the last one."

"Your tiger tail?" he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Was your name on it?"

"It was calling my name, so kinda." 

The man snickered. "If we ever bump into each other again, your tiger tail's on me. Cool?"

Robyn shook her head and humored him. "Sure." 

She waited for three stops until she saw Brooks School for the Arts a trudge up a hill away. She stood, and so did the gentleman. She'd occupied herself with her doughnut and phone's photo album so she wouldn't have to watch him scarf down the tiger tail, but when she darted her eyes in his direction, she saw he was still holding it, untouched. 

Robyn started toward the school, the front grounds quiet as the day was already in full effect. Her father always taught her to be aware of her surroundings, so her eyebrows scrunched when she realized the man was also going in her direction. Was she being followed? The man was big, huge even. At her five-foot-six stature, Robyn didn't think she was short, but she could tell she'd have to break her neck to look him in the eye. She didn't know a lick of self-defense other than the Jet Li fight scenes she and Madison used to copy as children, but maybe she could outrun him. 

Robyn drifted to the right to get a better look at him in her periphery. He didn't seem focused on her, his eyebrows scrunched a little as he glanced between the screen and the school. Then, with a confident nod, he strode ahead of her with ease toward the building. 

Robyn knew almost everyone at school–all the staff and a good portion of the students by name. She didn't know this man; she couldn't miss those shoulders. She shook her head and quickened her pace. Who was this guy? 

"Hey," she called after him. Slowing his gait, he turned to look at her. Catching and matching his stride as best she could, Robyn asked, "You headed into Brooks?"

"Yes. I have an interview with the school this morning," he responded, and his eyes ticked down to her work bag. "Do you work here?"

"I do. I'm on the admin staff," she said, careful not to say the full title or her name. What if he was a maniac and tried to look her up online and stalk her? No, her picture was already on the school's website, so if he wanted to he could. 

Robyn tried to shake away the disturbing thoughts as they approached the school's entrance. The doors locked ten minutes after classes started and required a key pass. She thought maybe she could get his name first if he pressed the intercom and told the front office who he was and what he came for, but Robyn had already divulged her employment and thought it would look crazy as hell to wait for a visitor to let her inside. She dug around in her satchel for her school I.D. and buzzed them in. The man reached for the handle and swung it back. 

"Ladies' first." 

Trying not to feel self-conscious as he followed her inside, she gripped the strap of her work bag and led him past the bright WELCOME! Bulletin board and to the office on the left wing. 

"Here you are." Robyn swept her hand towards the door. "The secretaries will get you situated."

"All right, cool. Thank you...?"

She realized he was waiting for her to tell him her name. 

"Robyn." 

"Robyn," he repeated and held out his hand to shake. Hers was dwarfed in his. "Nice to meet you." 

"Can I help you?" Mrs. Patterson, one of the secretaries, called toward the open door. 

The man gave Robyn a short wave and entered the office. "Good morning. I have an interview with Darius Walters...."

Remembering she was supposed to meet with Principal Stewart, Robyn left down the hall. Darius? Her friend hadn't mentioned anything about a new position. As she traipsed down the hall, she wondered why her colleague hadn't mentioned it to her and how the tall man had managed to get her name but she didn't get his. 

Robyn didn't bother dropping off her belongings but walked through Principal Stewart's open door. The middle-aged woman held up a burgundy-tipped finger, in the midst of a phone call. She pointed to a chair in front of her desk and Robyn took a seat, feigning interest in the calendar hanging behind her head until she ended the call. 

"Yes, yes, thank you. I'll get that chart to you by one o’clock. Okay. Bye bye. Robyn, good morning."

Robyn sat up a little straighter, hoping she didn’t look like one of the students cowering inside her office after misbehaving. “Good morning,” she returned. 

"You're running almost three hours late today with no notice." Principal Stewart's eyebrows rose above her silver-framed glasses. "You missed the meeting this morning."

Robyn rushed in, "I know, and I'm sorry. I forgot I had a doctor’s appointment and then was having car issues and–,”

"Robyn, this is the third time this has happened in the past month." The stoniness on Principal Stewart's face shifted into what Robyn could only guess was concerned. 

"I know, there's been a lot going on lately, but I'm getting things together," she said.

"Are you all right?" Principal Stewart pressed on, and Robyn smiled to appease her. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Just...life stuff," she answered. She glanced down at her ring finger and could still distinguish the light brown tan line where her wedding ring used to reside. Kent hadn't asked for it back and basically told her she could do whatever the hell she wanted to do with it. Robyn didn't take it off until six months after their divorce was finalized. 

"Okay. Well, of course, we appreciate your work here, but take some time off if you need to. We're all late occasionally, but not consistently. So if I walk past your office and don't see you for hours, that's a problem."

"Understood." Thoroughly embarrassed, Robyn stood up so she could make her exit. "My apologies again."

There went her last shred of dignity for the day.

MADISON

The office was bustling today; not that it never wasn't, but especially today. As a financial advisor, Madison was used to trials of high emotion. However, she utterly despised getting cussed out by irate clients that they couldn't move money how they wanted. 

"I can't be connected with them anymore. Have you seen Gen Z? They'll tear me to shreds!" 

A politician with an account with their Washington, D.C. bank had been charged with fraud after a journalist revealed he'd been using campaign donations as hush money to hide an alleged assault in London. Madison had been taking calls all day from clients contemplating removing their donations from his latest campaign: Help Feed the Children. 

Informing her clients that the only avenues they'd get their money back were through civil lawsuits and, at the very least, mediation, which was unlikely, they'd told her in six different ways where she could stick those suggestions. 

As a client rambled on about issues Madison had no direct power to fix, her eyes trailed across her desk and landed on the photograph of her family planted on the corner of her desk. 

Embroidered in a silver frame, the moment had been captured by Javina at a cookout the summer before. As they sat on a picnic blanket, Zoey initiated a tickle fight that made for the perfect candid snapshot of them all gathered in David's arms in open-mouthed laughter. JC Penney's stock image photos had nothing on them. 

Madison was pulled from her reverie when her client's shouting finally quieted into exasperated grumbles. 

"I completely understand your frustration, Mr. Bradley. If I were in your shoes, I would be pissed off, too." Madison's voice was hoarse from the customer service tilt she'd been adding to it all day. She was rubbing her temples when Beatriz Santos, one of the foreign exchange traders, backed her way into Madison's office, a bag of food, cups of iced tea, and a pregnant belly in tow. 

"Hey, Maddie." Beatriz was breathing heavily as she kicked the door closed with her foot. When she realized Madison was still on the phone, she mouthed, "Got lunch!" 

Madison gestured for her to sit at the table in front of her desk as she continued her conversation with her client.

"Of course, take the time you need. Pearlman Bank wants to make this as easy as we can for you. Have a good one. Ughhh!" Madison groaned loudly and collapsed in her rolling chair after she ended the call. 

Beatriz cackled as she unpacked their lunches of ravioli and Caesar salads. "It's always some shit, isn't it?" 

"Why can't people act right? I told that bastard that investing his money with that guy was bad news. But do they listen to the Black woman? Nope! They do what they want, get pissy when it goes bad, and expect me to clean up the mess. I don't get paid enough for this." 

"Look at the job boooaaard," Beatriz sing-songed. "I keep telling you. There might be something on there you'll enjoy doing more."

"I know, I know." Madison exhaled, moving her fingers to pinch the bridge of her nose. "But when will I find the time?" Right at that second, her office phone rang. She gestured toward it–see? She had a strict no work calls during lunch policy, so she let it ring until it went to voicemail. She would have to call them back with the energy of a full stomach. 

Madison eyeballed the food and nearly drooled as she said, "This smells so good. I only ate a banana for breakfast." 

Beatriz clicked her tongue. "I can hear your stomach from here. Why do you do this to yourself?" she asked, and Madison graciously thanked her for the tin foil platter of saucy-carby goodness. 

She swallowed one bite and waved her fork at Beatriz's midsection. "Why do you do this to yourself? I told you you don't have to grab lunch for me, girl. Walking around this big ass building will put you on a stretcher."

Beatriz laughed and cut into her salad. "I'm only seven months–don't put me out the pasture just yet! Besides, it feels good to get up and walk around." She rolled her neck for emphasis, and her curly hair swayed. "My back starts killing me around eleven." 

"Did you get your doctor to look into that? You know that could mean pre-term labor–“

"Don't spiral on me, lady. I'm okay," Beatriz smiled and rubbed Madison's hands to relieve the worry in her eyes. "And I got checked out last Saturday. Everything is going fine. Me and Mateo are both ready for this part to be over, though." 

"I heard that," Madison muttered and poked around her ravioli. "I loved being pregnant during the first and second trimesters, but when that third one hits? I'm like, get this baby out." 

"I know. We can't wait to meet our little guy, but I don't want to rush anything. It's like you prepare so much, and the big moment finally happens. It's so exciting but a little sad that your life will never be what it was before. Like death and birth all in one." 

Madison's eyes widened, and she looked down at her salad. "Well, that's a way to put it."

"I didn't mean to sound morbid! It's just a crazy and amazing thing. Isn't that how you felt with yours?" 

"Of course," Madison replied quickly. "I mean, the novelty starts to wear off the more you have, but yeah."

Beatriz's brow furrowed, and said, "Hey, now, that's not the right energy for a third baby!"

Madison stopped chewing and glanced down at her stomach. Did she look pregnant? "I'm not with child," she reminded her clearly confused friend. 

"But you want more, right? You gotta keep the spirits up while you're manifesting!" 

"Did we have this conversation before?" Madison couldn't recall telling her that going for another baby was underway. 

Beatriz shrugged and told her, "Mateo told me David said you guys were gonna start trying for a third soon. Unless you're not." She raised her hands in surrender when the disconcerted look on Madison's face didn't change. 

"Well–we're...enough about me." Madison flapped her hand dismissively. "If there needs to be any manifesting, it's that you have a cozy nesting period. You're gonna have to kick your feet up soon, Miss Mamas." 

Beatriz held her stomach and wiggled in her seat. "I know, I know. I'm still so bound with energy; I don't know how to sit down! But Mateo and I already have our hospital bag packed and...."

Madison let her go on about her birth plans as her mind silently stewed over what Beatriz just told her. So David was going around and telling people they were trying to get pregnant again? The only person she'd mentioned their situation to was Robyn and their mother; why would David think it was appropriate talking to anyone else about it? They hadn't even decided on anything. 

Their ravioli and salad containers were nearly empty when Madison's cell phone started ringing with a FaceTime call. It was Javina. 

"I gotta take this, girl. It's my sister."

Beatriz stood and gathered their trash. "Let me get out of here. I had a call I was supposed to make–" she glanced at her watch, "twenty minutes ago, so let me go before boss man notices I'm not back at my desk."

Madison chuckled as Beatriz made her way out the door. "Thanks for lunch, mamacita!" she called after her. 

"De nada, niña. Tómalo con calma!"

Madison wished she knew more Spanish as she picked up the call. A depressed-looking Javina appeared on the screen. She was sitting somewhere outside and munching on a tortilla chip, looking absolutely sorry for herself.

Madison teased, "Sweetie, I thought guac and chips were supposed to make people happy?" She hoped to coax a smile from her, but the frown carved into Javina's deep brown face remained. Madison sighed through her nose and inquired, "How's everything? It's been a week–I told you to keep me updated."

"I know. A lot's been going on. And ass. Things have been ass." Javina stood her phone up against something so she could cross her arms on the table. "I wasn't able to make nice with my landlord, so I've been staying at a hotel for the past few days."

Madison groaned, "Oh, Veen, come on now–"

"I know, I know. Optics aren't looking that great, but I'm figuring this out, all right?" 

Madison nodded though she knew from experience that that usually meant she didn't know what the hell she was doing. 

"He's at least letting me keep my furniture there until I can move it to storage."

She stopped nodding. "If he's letting you do that, why did he kick you out?" He could've let her stay there if that's how lenient he was being. Anyone else would've had their belongings, sacred or not, tossed on the curb. 

"Who knows why people do things?" Javina answered in that "too casual" way, a tone Madison picked up on when they were teens that meant she was lying or omitting information. 

Madison didn't want to upset her further by sweating her too much about Florida, so she switched gears a bit. "You know...you can always move back in with Mom and Dad–,”

"Maddie, nooo," Javina wailed. 

"You know they'll take you back. They didn't want you to leave in the first place."

"I can't be grown under their roof. And I'm grown." Javina gave her a pointed look, and Madison wanted to avoid a five-minute lecture on how being twenty-seven years old meant that she was entering her Saturn Return, and mistakes were to be expected even as an adult, so she just agreed.

"Yeah, you are, which means sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do." She braced herself. "Have you talked to Robyn?"

"Madison. I'm not moving in with her." 

"It wouldn’t be permanent. She still has an extra room and–,”

"I'm not moving in with her."

Madison’s brows drew together in frustration. Sometimes it was easier reining in the kids. Madison reminded through an exasperated exhale, “Well, you have to do something. You can't afford to live on your own anymore. All your friends are up this way...you have no support in Florida." 

The evening Javina had decided her life no longer served her best in Maryland and would be heading South, Retta had called Madison, frantic, and begged her to get her younger cousin to reconsider. Overhearing the phone call, a raging Javina shouted, "If I could afford to move further, I would!" 

Madison knew there was no changing her mind once it was made up. No amount of conversations about finances could persuade Javina that moving that far away by herself wasn't the right decision. 

"I can get some support," Javina reasoned, bringing Madison back to the present and the all-too familiar feeling of disbelief in Javina’s plan. She wasn’t even sure Javina believed it herself. She listened on, though, as she continued, "But I can't move in with Robyn. I'd rather move in with you and David and have the kids draw on my face with markers to wake me up in the morning than do that." 

"Come on, Robyn is not that bad,” Madison said, even though most of her defending their eldest sibling was because Madison did not want Javina in her home. Not only was it full with David and the children, her sister wasn't her favorite houseguest. She could be lazy, but that came with being the baby in the family. Javina only had one chore growing up—getting and sorting the mail. Their mom would still find a couple of envelopes in the wrong pile. 

Javina continued griping, "She has a type-A personality with no room in her big head for anyone else."

Madison nearly chuckled at how much of the preteen version still resided in her sister. She used to hate it when Robyn was in charge, and clearly, that hadn't changed. 

"I mean, it is her house, Veen." 

"Which is exactly why I don't want to move there." 

Madison sighed and said, "Listen, I know you're being stubborn right now, but you need to hunker down and make some decisions—fast. I know things aren't going how you wanted, but that's life."

"I'll figure it out. Thanks, sis." Javina gave her a half-hearted smile before hanging up. 

Madison breathed out through pursed lips. Along with the bone she had to pick with her husband, she was worried Javina would be out on the street if she didn't figure something out soon, and even more concerned that the answer to her problem would be her and David's townhouse.

JAVINA 

The drive up I-95 was dark and quiet at this time of night. Melancholic almost, which was fine by Javina-that was exactly how she felt. She noticed a pothole too late and jostled around in the front seat of the U-haul she was driving. She caught her monstera plant before it could slam into the dashboard and almost swerved into the right lane. She groaned and slapped both hands back on the wheel. Whoever said no one should be driving trucks without a CDL was right. 

But she had no choice. The words on the eviction notice were embedded in her brain like a traumatic memory: 

You are advised that your lease is terminated effective immediately. You shall have 7 days from the delivery of this letter to vacate the premises. This action is taken because you failed to pay rent.

She clenched her fingers around the steering wheel and asked herself for the umpteenth time in the past five days how she could be so stupid? She should've never made a deal with Sean. Landlords were greedy by nature, and she should've never trusted he would have her best interest at heart. 

Moving to Orlando had never been the original plan. She thought she could find a nice spot in Virginia to continue building her brand as an influencer. But one of her friends and fellow influencer, Genevieve, put her onto the Florida scene. She messaged her on Instagram after Javina posted a story asking why people consciously choose to move to Florida. 

Girl imagine the content u could create down here? Being so close to the beach, u wouldn't even have to leave the state to look like ur traveling. Miami is HOT. I could get u into some CLUB clubs girl. The ones A-listers go to

But isn't it pro-red neck down there? I'm not fighting any sunburnt bitches who tell me to go back to my country

Lol girl its not that bad and besides u don't have to live here forever. Just think about it 

And then the fight with her parents happened. At twenty-seven, she didn't think coming into the house at four a.m. was a problem, but Retta was still up in her robe and bonnet, asking where she was. 

Javina scoffed. "I was out with my friends. Why aren't you in bed?" 

The ensuing argument awakened her father, Marcus, who ultimately sided with Retta. Javina remembered how abandoned she felt at that moment, a feeling she'd vowed at six-years-old she would never give anyone the power to do, and took that as a sign to move to the sunshine state.

She narrowed her list to five spots after research that consisted of one hundred website tabs and twice as many phone calls. Finally, Javina flew down and previewed three Miami locations with Genevieve's assistance and then drove to Orlando. 

By the fourth spot, Javina was ready to cry. She couldn't go back to D.C. empty-handed; she'd been too determined to get the hell out of dodge that she'd look ridiculous with her lip poked out and staying another unplanned month under her parent's roof. 

Genevieve's patience had worn thin by five o'clock, and Javina couldn't blame her. She was a saint for even helping. 

"Come on, girl. I told you I have somewhere to be at seven. Let's check out this last spot. You never know."

Javina almost made her bet twenty bucks that the last spot, a red-bricked building near the city, would be the fifth place to have chipped paint, foul-smelling hallways, or shitty lawns, but she'd be eating her words. Instead, Genevieve pulled into a parking lot with freshly-trimmed shrubbery, and Javina was enthused by the lemon-scented entrance. A man with the name 'SEAN' printed on his name tag introduced himself as the leasing agent. 

A thirty-something-year-old with honey-dipped locs, Sean showed her around a decently-sized one-bedroom apartment with bay windows in the kitchen and a new carpet. Javina was immediately convinced this was her new spot. She squeezed Genevieve's hand excitedly, and her friend told her she'd meet her in the car. 

"I need to go make a call. Told you you'd find it!" Before leaving the leasing office, she winked at Sean, and Javina didn't blame her. He was attractive and looked like he worked out, but that wasn't exactly an anomaly in Florida or anywhere, really. She noticed he'd been checking her out while they canvassed the room, so it wasn't shocking that he asked her out on a date while she read over her contract. 

But Javina wasn't interested. Her sixth-month relationship with Asaad had just ended thirty-six days before, and she didn't think she could sit through a dinner telling Sean her favorite color was green, and the last concert she went to was to see Kelela with her ex. In place of regular payment, one of his clients offered him two tickets to her show, and they had the time of their lives high as hell amid a tequila-filled crowd and strobe lights. 

Javina declined Sean's offer, but he was persistent. "I can get you a deal on the rent.”  

“What kind of deal?”

“I can knock down the monthly rate by three hundred.”

“What’s the catch?”

“There is no catch. People negotiate their rents all the time. You look like a smart woman–do what all these other folks out here are doing. You deserve a peace of mind, too, right?” 

Javina hadn’t been persuaded, no matter how much he was getting his arms to flex as he folded them across his chest. She mirrored his stance with a raised eyebrow. “So you just lessen rent out of the kindness of your heart?”

He held his hands out in surrender. “I’m just helping a sista get on her feet, that’s all. You look like you work hard; this’ll make things easier for you. First three months and that’s it.” 

Javina told him she’d think about it and returned to the car to ask an exhausted and bored Genevieve what she thought about the arrangement. 

“Girl, take. The. Deal. A couple of dates here and there won’t hurt.”

“He didn’t ask me out,” Javina said and Genevieve’s hazel eyes popped open. 

“Even better! Look, you’re not gonna find anything within your price range for the taste you got. The closest we’ve seen all day had dirty water in the tub. If this’ll help you save, why not see? It’s only three months.”

Javina chewed her bottom lip in consideration for the next two days, only stopping when her shea butter chapstick ran out and Genevieve was practically begging her to sign the papers so she could return to her bachelorette lifestyle. 

Moving to Florida would dig deep into her savings, and she knew she would only have enough for a year's lease if she was immediately hired doing a couple part-time jobs. But with three months free of rent, she could spend more time developing a new marketing plan for BitesNFlights. She wanted to reach one hundred thousand followers by the top of the new year, and she was only halfway there. The extra money could be spent on weekend trips across the state...

Javina signed a lease with a move-in date one month forward and began crafting her new life. Despite the culture shock of being on Cocoa beach instead of a few miles from the Washington Monument, things went along swimmingly. She loved being in a new environment. Her stress acne was even fading. 

She spent the first three months doing exactly what she'd promised herself (and her family, who hounded her about preparation). After that, she reached out to some marketing friends for advice and, in between, frequented some incredible Cuban spots, and planned a trip to South Beach on a three-day excursion for the best breakfast restaurants. 

Despite Sean insisting the rent decrease was all business, it didn’t stop him from approaching her one evening at the mail room and inviting her out to coffee the following day. Javina didn’t really want to, but if living with her birth mother like Tracee for the first eight years of her life taught her anything, it was that favors came with a cost and it was never in your best interest to skate on thin ice. She agreed to the coffee date, but muted her usual attire and didn’t fuss with too much make-up. She wanted anyone passing by to think they were friends or co-workers, not two people in a blossoming relationship. 

Sean liked ordinary things like sports and beer, but nothing Javina considered fascinating. So on their third outing, she politely declined his proposal of another, going the we should just be friends route. 

"It's cool; I don't mind taking things slow,” he’d responded, and Javina restrained herself from looking disgusted by the audaciousness. 

 "I kinda feel like you're not hearing me?"

"I am. Things are going kinda fast. You're new here. You want to explore. I get it."

Javina wasn't the type of person who had to date someone for half a year to know if she liked them. She knew after the first date that it was obligatory and she shouldn't have agreed to anymore. She kinda felt bad for the guy, all pressed about her. But she wasn't an asshole.

"I don't want to be anything but friends with you." 

Well, not that much of one. As soon as she said it, Javina realized it could come off a little better. She tried to soften the blow, "I mean, that’s cool right?” 

Leaving only when she was sure he understood, accepting his flushed, “Yeah, yeah. That’s cool,” their passing each other by in the hallway or out in the parking lot were inconsequential from then on. A hi, bye, and how are you doing? sufficed until the sixth month, and then he began acting strange. 

Javina would get random texts from him asking to hang out, then apologize and say the text was meant for someone else. That would've been fine if he hadn't done it twice over the course of the fall and winter. She'd contemplated blocking his number but didn't want to sever their cordial relationship. Fucking things up with a landlord was never wise, especially ones that did favors. 

Javina gritted her teeth and bore it, but when she got an email from the leasing office that there would be a new parking fee, she was forced to talk to him. 

"Where are these charges coming from? It wasn't on the contract I signed." 

"If you read the contract, it stated that the parking policy was subject to change."

"But it was free when I signed it."

"And subject to change." 

The curtness in his behavior didn't end there. He no longer said hello when they crossed paths, which was fine, but shit hit the fan when she was short on rent. 

"I promise I can get it back to you. Just give me one more month, please," Javina begged, and he offered an extension. Unfortunately, she also needed one for the next month, but that wasn't her fault. The payment she expected from an advertisement didn't come through in time, and she was already going through her credit cards like she had the money to replace it. She hoped her father hadn't seen them and told Retta. 

"Sean, please," Javina begged, "just let me slide one more month. I can cook dinner for you if you like?" Despite her only being able to cook half-worth a damn, she could whip up spaghetti or grilled cheese sandwiches. Bartering had to count for something, right? Wasn’t that what having community was about? 

"Sorry,” he grumbled, “My lady does that for me.” 

"Well, will you at least think about it?” Javina had insisted, leaning onto his desk in desperation. She didn’t have the time, energy, or desire for jealousy. “The new policies cut into the money I was gonna use for rent, and so–,”

"I'll see what I can do," was the last thing he told her before her trip to Greece. She ignored any incoming texts from people that weren't her family and closest friends during the time, so when she scrolled through all the old membership and toadyish Fashion Nova texts to land on his near the bottom, she was frozen in place as she scanned the message stating she was being evicted from the premises.

Her calls went to voicemail, he wasn't at the leasing office, and her fist was rubbed raw after she banged on his door for ten minutes. 

"So now you can't talk?!" she'd yelled into her phone and through the wood in tandem,  on the verge of tears and a heart attack. She slid down Sean's door and willed herself to breathe. She'd never gotten an eviction notice before. What was she supposed to do? 

Javina wouldn’t call her parents, that much was obvious. She briefly considered Madison, but she’d already given her some money the month before. Talking to Robyn would be like talking to their mother, so that was out, too. She asked Genevieve if she could spot her three hundred dollars, but her friend, who begged her to come out to Florida, didn't respond to any of her texts, D.M.s, or calls until just after Javina conceded to her situation. 

Genevieve 

Hey girl I don't have that right now. Maybe next month 

Javina

You coulda told me that days ago but cool 

Genevieve 

My bad a lots been going on 

Javina didn't have anything else to say to her. And now, she was driving with her mattress, bookshelf, and bright orange couch in the trailer of a U-haul on a Thursday night. Even though Sean offered the "courtesy" of keeping her furniture in the apartment until she could put it in storage, she could throw up at the thought of facing him again. It made more sense, she thought, to get it all over with sooner rather than later. 

Her stomach growled. The burger she tearily scarfed down hours before did little to replace the rumbling that came back full force. She rummaged through the bag,  opaque with oil, and pulled out a few cold and greasy fries. Stuffing them into her mouth, she glanced at the time on the truck’s head unit–it was almost ten forty-five. She was only two hours away from her destination. 

Javina breathed in through her nose until her lungs couldn't expand further and sharply exhaled. She couldn't believe she was doing this, but he'd also told her he had her if she ever needed anything. 

Checking that the cruise control was still going a comfortable sixty-five miles per hour, she swiped through the navigation on her phone and FaceTimed Asaad. 

He answered after a couple rings and looked surprised to see her. 

"Hey."

"Hey."

Javina glimpsed at the screen and immediately knew he was at his tattoo parlor booth. A Jimi Hendrix poster and green neon light from a snake-shaped LED fixture framed his face and bare arms. She could hear the whir of a needle going. 

"You're still at work? It's late." 

"I just finished up my last client. Cleaning up my station, and then I'm headed out." He paused and squinted at her. "Are you in a truck? Where are you?"

"I'm..." Javina sighed. "I'm on my way back to D.C. I'm leaving Orlando."

"Damn...why? What happened?" 

Javina stifled a chuckle. Asaad had always had a habit of asking two questions in a row. Plus, she didn't think there was anything to laugh at, much less anything she deserved to find joy in the moment. He waited for her to speak. 

"Asaad...I have a huge favor to ask you."

[chaletnz]

Cajas National Park Tour

Around 6am the driver was yelling out Cuenca and I wondered if we were here already or if he was shouting out to get people at this station to get onboard for the ride to Cuenca. I wasn’t expecting to arrive until 7 or 8am and my phone didn’t load a map at all which is usually when it’s a random place I’ve never loaded on it before. The driver came down and told me that this was Cuenca, the final stop so I asked for directions to a taxi and headed off. I jumped in one waiting cab and gave him the names of the two streets that my hotel was on the corner of and he found it no problem. The ride on the meter came out to be $1.49 so I gave him $2 and then checked in. I’d booked for the night before so my room was ready waiting and Andrés the receptionist led me upstairs. He was kind and only charged me for one night since I hadn’t been there last night due to the flood that was no fault of my own, and I had contacted him in advance. I would’ve paid the 2 nights if he’d asked but I kept my mouth shut and paid him in cash as he requested. I messaged Edison my tour guide and let him know that I had arrived in Cuenca and was ready for the tour as soon as he was ready. He replied back quickly and said he would pick me up at 8:45am so I took a shower and then went for a quick coffee at Cafe Ñucallacta. Edison picked me up on time and we drove out to Cajas National Park through various different neighbourhoods to get a feel for Cuenca city on our way out. He told me the history of Cuenca, founded in 1557 and it’s the 3rd largest city in Ecuador after Quito and Guayaquil. The historic city centre is a unesco protected world heritage site. This city trades in agricultural products, cattle, hides, and marble. He gave me a few tips on places to visit with my afternoon, evening, and morning before I fly out tomorrow afternoon. It took about 45 minutes to reach the trailhead of the trek in the park we would be doing today. It was about 3400m above sea level and I felt the air was thinner and I was a bit light-headed up here. We began our walk on some rocks and boardwalk, and then for most of the rest of the trek it was a spongy kind of moss that was comfortable to walk on. We walked slowly due to the altitude, and stopped often to look at some trees, birds, plants, and flowers that were unique to the area. Edison kept saying how lucky I was to have this beautiful sunny day to explore Cajas as it’s mostly foggy and cloudy and had snowed there yesterday. I figured by this point I was due some luck! He helped me cross a stream that was terrifying for me with the slippery rocks combined with my bad ankle but I made it and then we stopped for a lunch break at the best viewpoint on the trail. I enjoyed my banana chocolate chip muffin that I’d carried with me from Baños. The loop back to the start was on an incline so it was a bit tougher, and there were some shady spots that were muddy and slippery. We passed a lot of tussock grass, the King Kong rock formation, some spiky pineapple plants, and a tree with layers of papery bark. There were some people beginning their walk in the opposite direction sloshing past us in the muddy spots so I was glad to be wrapping up after having almost the entire walk to myself. He offered to drive me up to the highest elevation point in the park, a lookout at Tres Cruces at an elevation of 4167m above sea level. It was a nice view but very windy up there, and a bunch of children screaming too. Edison drove us back to Cuenca at breakneck speed and dropped me off back at the hotel asking me only for a 5 star review to help the company get more tour business after the difficulties of covid and the negative press on Ecuador and its drug cartels and public safety recently.

[thatsmytrunks]

Fred's Games of the Year 2023 List

This year I kept a list of every game I played

Games I finished in 2023

Super Mario 64

This was the year I got back into speedrunning Super Mario 64. I went to a local brewery with some friends and saw they had a Nintendo 64 hooked up with a copy of Super Mario 64, so I told my friends I could beat it in under 30 minutes. With some beer in me, it took around 35. I decided to take some time this year to get that under 30, and I succeeded. It was fun to get back to playing on original hardware, and I even set up a whole streaming station using an old PVM.

Super Mario 64 CoOp

sm64ex-coop is a branched modification of the Super Mario 64 decompilation project that allows you to use online netplay to play Super Mario 64 with friends, cooperatively. It’s a blast, and every time I played it with a different group of friends, we’d play until we got to 16 stars, and then I’d inevitably try to beat the game there. Totally worth looking into as it’s real easy to get up and running.

Destiny 2: Lightfall

Lightfall’s campaign is a wild low point for the franchise. After last year’s Witch Queen campaign knocked it completely out of the park, and where Season of the Seraph left the world narratively, hopes and expectations for Lightfall were in the stratsophere.

Lightfall was fun but the narrative was a trash fire. I’ve spent 8 years up to this point playing Destiny, getting invested in the characters and world, and Destiny’s world is coming to a fever pitch in the opening of Lightfall, with the biggest bad knocking on our door. But Lightfall treats this situation, which has earned the severity of its weight and the right to be taken seriously over these last 8 years, as an 80’s action comedy with montages and quips all throughout. Couple this with the introduction of The Veil without any explanation of what it is or why it’s important with the ending that we have failed, and you get a recipe that makes your playerbase so soured that it’s no wonder they missed 45% of their projections.

All of this is sad to see, but at the same time, Destiny’s in the best state it’s ever been. The core loop is still a blast, grinding has been minimized, and they’ve streamlined a little more of the onboarding process for new players by bringing back some of the previously vaulted campaign missions with some slight tweaks to make them fresh.

All told, I’m still excited for The Final Shape next year. The future of Destiny has yet to be written.

Chaos;Head NoaH

Chaos;Head NoaH is another entry in the Science Adventure series, which I have a lot of love for since playing Steins;Gate. I wish I’d played Chaos;Head NoaH before playing Chaos;Child, but that’s not how they released in the west. I think that really soured my time with the game since I knew a lot of what was going on behind the scenes. I don’t have a lot to say about NoaH, but it was pretty alright.

myhouse.wad

I can’t say too much about myhouse.wad without spoiling myhouse.wad. It’s a small experience built off of Doom II that does some really creative things in that engine. If you haven’t heard about it, grab gzDoom and Doom II and go download the game from this forum thread.

There’s so many videos of the game and about the game out there, but I would really encourage you to play it for yourself first. I think the absolute best way to play myhouse.wad is over a Discord call while some friends who have already played it watch you experience it. It’s a really wonderful communal experience.

Vampire Survivors (100%)

Vampire Survivors kicks ass, y’all. I 100%’d it early in the year, and was excited to do so again when it released on Nintendo Switch. Not a lot more to say about the game than what has been said by many before, but it’s a wonderful way to make time disappear while the numbers get bigger.

Mother 3

I’ve talked a lot about Mother 3 this year, but more importantly, I finally finished it. It’s a very difficult game that has a story that is warm and sad, and is absolutely inspirational. Here’s my thoughts from when I finished it:

I finally finished my years-in-the-making playthrough of MOTHER 3 last night. I usually gush about the games that I love and have tons to say, but I don't really have much to talk about after having finished this one.

The game's a masterpiece, tells a great story, has so many wonderful moments, is wildly huge and varied, and has a hell of a surprise at the 11th hour. I'd recommend it to most anyone, though with the caveat that I think the game's incredibly challenging. Maybe throw on a cheat or two for a couple of the very hard encounters.

I started this attempted (and successful!) playthrough in the beginning of 2022, after finally having finished EarthBound. I got to the end of Chapter 3 and set it down. A few months later, I lost my mom to lung cancer. I'm still messed up from it, which I think is pretty normal. When I started up Chapter 4 earlier this month, I got hit like a sack of bricks. The game had a time skip between the chapters, where I'd taken a break. The main character for the chapter, Lucas, is reminded of his mother constantly, with occasional flashbacks to the times when she was alive. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I almost put the game back down, but ultimately I'm really glad I didn't.

One last, unexpected thing. Finishing MOTHER 3 has given me a different context for other works I've enjoyed, almost like learning a new language for appreciating them. For example, Undertale and Deltarune have some references that completely flew over my head before, and now I fully get them, and get to appreciate them all over again.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Tears of the Kingdom might be the perfect adventure game. I’ve never had a game that has made me want to explore it so thoroughly, creating small quests for myself to go and climb this thing, go map that thing, go craft this ridiculous machine, etc etc. It is without question the best Zelda game ever made, and I loved it in its entirety. That story was so affecting, and the ending was incredibly satisfying. I only wish it ran at a smooth framerate at a higher resolution. Maybe on the next release of Nintendo Hardware.

OFF

Toby Fox asked me, “did you ever play OFF?” 

I said “No, should I?”

He said “Yeah probably.”

So over the course of the week, sketches scribbled across sticky notes and scratch paper, I played the 2008 French RPG Maker horror game, OFF. It was an incredibly satisfying experience to beat the game without guides. I’ve had the horrifying soundtrack on my phone ever since and listen to it any time I want to be put in a very weird mood. I’d recommend playing it, and there’s a free English translation, so grab that.

Final Fantasy XVI

Final Fantasy XVI is the only game in memory that I’ve played a demo, then went to the store and immediately picked up the game. I was so blown away by the game’s bombastic visuals and presentation that I just wanted to see more and more of it. The combat was so much fun, Ben Starr’s voice for Clive was so sonically soothing, and the story had just enough curiosity to it to drive me to buy my first $70 video game at retail price.

The joy of that game continued for the first 2/3rds, then the sheen fell all the way off. The fetch quests became boring, the story became convoluted, and at some point I just wished it would be over. And when it was, I was so throroughly unsatisfied with its conclusion that it soured the previous 60 hours.

I’ll revisit FFXVI some day if they put out some satisfying story DLC with a PC port, but for now I’m going to look at it as the game that almost had something to say.

If you have played the game, I’d really recommend listing to this episode of Abnormal Mapping with Austin Walker, as he put into words all the feelings I had and so much more.

Sonic Origins Plus

For years I’ve asked for Sonic 1/2/3K/CD on modern platforms in the Retro Engine, and finally we have that. After the Plus expansion and the last round of bug fixes, I think Sonic Origins Plus is now the best Official way to play these games. I played through all four games 100% while on my trip to Japan in July this year, halfway through picking up a 6-Button Sega Mega Drive controller from the Nintendo Store (weird times we live in). I’d never gotten all the time stones in Sonic CD, but thanks to the retry function they added and the removal of lives, that game became a delight to wander and explore. It’s a shame they don’t give you an option to disable the timer, which is the only problem left with Sonic CD’s focus on discovery.

If you can pick up Sonic Origins Plus for less than $30, I can’t recommend it enough. If you’re on PC or have modified hardware, maybe check out the decompilation projects of Sonic 1 & 2, and Sonic CD, and download Sonic 3 AIR.

Super Mario RPG

Weirdly enough, I’ve never finished Super Mario RPG. I’ve been trying to take more time to fill out my video game lexicon and play games that I’d never gotten around to, and this was the year for Super Mario RPG for the Super Nintendo. 

I love how much this game did to tell a warm story with such expressive characters with the hardware of the era. It’s amazing just how many sprites they used and the way they made them act. Keeping Mario as a silent protagonist who has to tell stories to people through miming it out is so charming.

The battle system is fun and satisfying, the characters are hilarious, the music is wonderful, and best of all, it’s short. I’m excited to give the Nintendo Switch version a run through next year.

Anonymous;Code

Anonymous;Code is, as the semicolon gives it away, another game in the SciAdv series, this one being the latest at the time of publication. It follows a hacker who discovers they have the ability to literally save and load the world, enabling an incredibly fascinating method of time travel. There’s not a ton I can say about the game without giving too much away, but it’s a real 10/10 and the shortest visual novel I think I’ve ever played, clocking in my 100% playthrough at about 17 hours. It’s also a visual treat with their implementation of Live2D. If you’ve never played a SciAdv game I’d certainly recommend the original Steins;Gate first, but this game stands on its own beautifully.

The Police Mystery

The Police Mystery is a thinly veiled fetish game about giant women. It’s not good but it sure was fun to play with Xalavier Nelson Jr on stream. Wouldn’t recommend playing it or watching it. I probably shouldn’t even bring it up.

Also there’s no mystery.

Muv-Luv Extra, Muv-Luv Unlimited, & Muv-Luv Alternative

I started playing Muv-Luv on a whim and fell down a rabbit hole and I think I want out.

Muv-Luv Extra is a pretty rout Dating Sim about a jerk of a main character who has a bunch of girls fawning over him for some reason. I got multiple endings at the recommendation of various forums before continuing, and at the time I was confused as to why anyone would ever recommend this game.

Muv-Luv Unlimited starts on the same day that Extra starts, but when the player leaves their bedroom, they discover the world has been ravaged by Aliens that invaded the Earth 28 years prior, while retaining all memories of their previous life. Almost all of the same characters are there, but now they’re soldiers at a UN base that was formerly the school Extra took place. It’s a hell of a twist and I liked it. I have to spoil it to talk about Unlimited, so suffice to say that at the end of the game, Humanity loses.

Muv-Luv Alternative starts on the same day in the same war torn world, but the player character remembers most of what took place in both Extra and Unlimited. While events all start the same, things start to go very differently. It’s a pretty good twist with some really great moments but there are two unforgiveable things the game does to characters that make it impossible to recommend to anyone.

I’m now watching the Anime Adaptation of Alternative and I hate this ride and I want off. But also to detox, I’m playing Muv-Luv Photon Melodies, which is a happy ending to all of it. Again, can’t recommend it. Don’t go down this rabbit hole.

Sonic Superstars

Sonic Superstars is the game I’ve wanted forever by the people who I wanted to make it, but half baked. It’s a classic style 2D Sonic game with absolutely phenomenal 3D graphics, treating the original Sonic designs with love and respect, and the gameplay feels almost exactly like the Sega Genesis games I grew up with. Unfortunately, half of the music is atrocious, some of the levels are frustrating and boring, some have mechanics that make them terribly unfun, and some of the bosses are infuriating. The final boss of the main game sapped away almost all good will I had for the game. Some day I’ll finish it and see the true ending, but I might wait for more fan mods to fix some of the odds and ends to make it more enjoyable.

I think that if Naoto Oshima and his team at Arzest got a chance to make another game in this vein, it could be a huge success. This really felt like it was most of the way there.

Risk of Rain Returns 

The Bancast’s game of the year all years returns with a gorgeous coat of new paint, all sorts of lessons learned from Risk of Rain 2, and functional netcode. Risk of Rain is my favorite roguelike in which you defeat enemies, get gold and xp, find chests to get augmenting items, and then loop the game over and over again while it gets more and more challening.

Lethal Company

Lethal Company has become the new favorite game to play with all sorts of friend groups, taking the spot that something like Among Us was in 2020/2021. It’s a simple scavenging and resource management game that you play with friends, but the fun lies in proximity voice chat for communications, and the horrible realization that you’re not alone. The hilarity and fear that comes out of this game every session is some of the most fun I’ve had with video games.

Like a Dragon Gaiden

Like a Dragon Gaiden is Yakuza 7b. While I technically didn’t finish the game until January 3rd of 2024, I’m including it on this list.

Yakuza 6 ended with (spoilers) Kazuma Kiryu sacrificing himself for his loved ones. But of course, he didn’t die, because no one in Yakuza games are ever truly dead. Instead, Kiryu has gone into hiding, working for a big mysterious government organization to keep their secret safe, and to keep his loved ones safer. I initially thought it was time to give Kiryu the rest he deserved and let Ichiban and other new characters carry this series forward, but after finishing Gaiden I am relieved and surprised with how much I agree with the move to bring Kiryu back. Upon finishing the game I very excitedly started trying to figure out where to pre-order Like a Dragon 8: Infinite Wealth.

Games I Played in 2023

Bujingai The Forsaken City

A weird and enjoyable 3D Action game for the PlayStation 2 featuring Gackt. It’s worth emulating.

Crab Champions

It’s risk of rain with crabs and really fast movement. I’ll come back to it sometime.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

I wish I finished this game, but them deciding to make a murder mystery game about Sonic the Hedgehog and giving it to a team with a lot of love and respect for the genre was such a cool move.

Like a Dragon: Ishin

I can’t believe they gave Yakuza Ishin, a 2014 PS3 Yakuza spin-off game about feudal Japan, a full remake in 2023. I have not finished the game solely because other things grabbed my attention, but everything about the game was great and I look forward to going back to it.

Lost Judgment

The Judgment series got PC ports last year, and I finally got around to finishing Judgment and had an unsurprisingly fantastic time with it. Lost Judgment’s story dragged a bit too much, and I put it down for a bit. I’ve heard that it gets to be pretty amazing, so I’ll pick it back up very soon.

Picross E9

Picross E9 is a Picross game for the 3DS that never got released in the west, and thank goodness someone made a fan translation. I love Picross.

Celeste

I only touched Celeste on a live stream for a bit, but it was an incredibly valuable experience. That game has such great fluidity to it, and I learned that it wasn’t just a single screen platformer like I thought it was. I’ll probably go back to it sometime.

Lies of P

Lies of P, or Piss Fibs as one of my friends called it, is too fucking hard and I’m never going back. I’m a fake gamer and I don’t care what anyone says about me.

Titanfall 2 Northstar

I only played a few nights of Titanfall 2 Northstar with some friends, but man, Titanfall 2 is good as hell. They should make another one of those.

Super Mario Wonder

Super Mario Wonder came out the same week as Sonic Superstars, and I seem to have maybe focused on the wrong game that week. Wonder is a hell of a game filled with creativity and originality. I’ll go back to it at some point.

Cocoon

Cocoon is good as hell and is probably a game of the year contender, but I didn’t have the time for it when it droppped. I will go back this year. Jeppe Carlsen made THOTH. Dude doesn’t know how to make a bad video game.

Baldur's Gate 3

Baldur’s Gate 3 is easily one of the most impressive video games ever made. I put about 18 hours into the game and enjoyed getting to know other characters, do some particularly ridiculous Tabletop RPG shenanigans, and had a pretty good time. But the world didn’t grab me and I just wasn’t that into the story. Maybe I’ll try again sometime.

Logiart Grimoire

Logiart Grimoire is an early access Picross game from Jupiter, the folks who have made all of the good Picross games. There’s an overarching storyline that is mostly uninteresting and a little bit of light puzzle work before you get to do a Picross puzzle, but it’s a Steam release of Picross from the folks who made Picross. You can’t go wrong with it.

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 1+2 (Steam)

The kind folks at Activision Blizard King Xbox sent me a review code for Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2 on Steam, and I’m delighted to share that 2020’s game of the year is still just as good in 2023 on a platform that everyone uses.

Call of Duty MW3 2023

The kind folks at Activision Blizard King Xbox sent me a review code for 2023’s Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 on PC and it wasn’t very fun. I really liked the part of the game that everyone else hated where you’re in big open area places taken from Warzone where you do a couple of nonsense missions. The game looks as expensive as always.

Street Fighter VI

I excitedly purchased Street Fighter VI the same way I pick up every hot new fighting game: with the knowledge that I’m not gonna spend that much time with it. I really enjoyed creating a character and the World Warrior mode as it was the right amount of silly for me. I never got around to playing any multiplayer, but maybe when a character pack goes on sale I’ll grab that and play with some friends.

Armored Core VI

Armored Core VI sure is good, huh? I had a real good time customizing the hell out of a gorgeous looking mech. I played a bunch of levels, beat a few bosses, and had a blast. Not enough to finish the game, but enough to say “Yeah this game sure is good, huh.” 

Live Service Games of 2023

Halo MCC

2023 was the year that Halo The Master Chief Collection was finally completed. Only took 9 years, but now there’s a masterpiece collection of Halo games available on XBox and PC with a huge collection of improvements and mod tools for a thriving community to build new and exciting experiences to be played over Steam. 

Halo Infinite

I played a lot of Halo Infinite in 2023. Forge really saved this game in a big way, from new levels for matchmaking, new mini games for custom games, and into Forgeable AI allowing for unique Firefight experiences and fully custom campaign style levels. The seasonal model finally works, and the mini seasons they started doing at the end of the year have been super fun too. I find that it’s never hard to get into a game, and I frequently see my friends still playing. Halo’s back, baby.

Fortnite

I’m still so surprised by how much fun I’ve been having with Fortnite. I’ve been buying and completing most of the season passes, buying characters like John Cena and dances like Gangnam Style, and playing both incredibly sweatily and equally ridiculously. Fornite’s become a great space to jump in, find a thing to do for a bit, either alone or with some of my friends, and just have a good time.

Lego Fortnite

Lego Fortnite kinda came out of nowhere, but I’ve really enjoyed this very pretty free to play Valheim knock off. It’s still pretty early days, but I’m having fun with it.

Team Fortress 2

I played Team Fortress 2 with a bunch of friends when Valve put out the surprise update, and I was really struck by how good TF2 still is in 2023. There’s some rough edges, but that game has aged like wine.

Counter-Strike 2

Speaking of surprise Valve updates, Counter-Strike 2 has been a delight. I’ve had a small group of friends who like to play a few matches a week, and having to take my gameplay seriously in CS2 has actually demonstrably made me better at other First Person Shooters. Sure half of the games we play are ruined by an absolute idiot of a rando or devastated by cheaters on the other team, but the half of games that aren’t feel fantastic. It’s wild how good CS2 is.

And now, my ranking of 2023's games:

10.) Sonic Superstars

9.) Final Fantasy XVI

8.) Sonic Origins Plus

7.) Anonymous;Code

6.) Like a Dragon Gaiden

5.) Lethal Company

4.) Counter-Strike 2

3.) myhouse.wad

2.) Risk of Rain Returns

1.) Tears of the Kingdom

[ammentcapstone]

Capstone Update

This past week has been less about starting new tasks and more about refining, observing, and understanding the bigger picture of everything I’ve already created for this capstone. At this point, most of the individual work is in motion—scripts are written, edits are underway, and I’ve filmed a good portion of my final content. So instead of diving into more production, I took a step back to reflect on what I’ve actually built so far—and how it all fits together.

Early in the process, I was just focused on getting the videos made. Each one felt like a separate challenge: find the hook, break down the creator’s technique, make it engaging, try to keep it under 45 seconds. I was bouncing between scripting, filming, and editing, learning new tricks and reworking footage when things felt off. But now that I’ve got a strong handful of finished or nearly-finished pieces, I can actually see the full arc forming.

And that’s what this week was really about: realizing that this project isn’t just about 45-second Instagram Reels. It’s about the accumulated weight of what those Reels communicate when placed side-by-side. Each one breaks down how a specific creator captures attention—but together, they tell a much more complete story about how attention works in our digital world.

It hit me this week that I’m not just dissecting creators—I’m also indirectly revealing the psychology behind our own scrolling habits. Each time I explain how someone like MrBeast or Khaby Lame grabs us in the first three seconds, or how CZN Burak holds our gaze with a looped sequence, I’m also forcing viewers to confront how they’re being pulled in. There’s a mirror in this project—and I didn’t fully see it until I had enough of the content completed to step back and recognize the pattern.

That realization made me start thinking more about the way these videos flow together, not just how they function on their own. I didn’t set out to make a “series,” but it’s starting to feel like one. Each video builds on the last. The first few focus more on visual tricks and sensory overload, and the later ones dive deeper into narrative, character, and audience psychology. Without planning it, I ended up creating a natural progression—from surface-level techniques to more nuanced attention strategies.

What’s cool about that is I didn’t have to force it. It came naturally as I got more comfortable with my research, my editing style, and my own voice in front of the camera. I think that’s been one of the biggest personal wins of this project: my voice is clearer now. Not just the literal voice I use in the videos, but the perspective and tone that carries through the content. I’ve stopped second-guessing every word or cut and started trusting my instincts a bit more. I’ve gotten better at knowing when something is working, when something is dragging, and when I just need to trim it down for clarity.

That clarity also came with an interesting lesson: entertaining doesn’t have to mean over-the-top. I used to worry that if a video wasn’t packed with edits, zooms, or dramatic music, people would scroll past. But I’ve learned that sometimes, a well-timed pause or a clean visual does more than a dozen flashy effects. It’s about being intentional. It’s about understanding how the viewer’s brain is reacting at every beat—and then using that to guide the rhythm of the video.

At this point, I’m really proud of the structure I’ve built. I’ve stayed grounded in the research behind the attention economy—cognitive load theory, dopamine triggers, visual processing—but I’ve also found a way to translate that into digestible, engaging content that doesn’t feel academic. That balance was hard to hit at first, but now I think I’ve found my rhythm. These aren’t lectures. They’re bite-sized, scrollable insights that are still rooted in something deeper.

I haven’t added any new steps or extra layers to what I’m doing—I’ve just become more aware of the why behind each choice. Why a sentence is worded a certain way. Why a jump cut hits better than a fade. Why a creator’s hook lands, and why mine sometimes don’t. That awareness is making everything sharper. Not because I changed the plan, but because I understand the plan better now.

This phase of the project has been about alignment. Making sure the tone, pacing, and message of the videos align with the core ideas I’m trying to express. Making sure everything I’ve already created feels cohesive. And most importantly, making sure it all reflects the one thing I’ve been studying since the beginning: how to earn and keep attention—ethically, effectively, and intentionally.

Still editing, but the finish line is finally in sight. And for the first time, I’m not just making content—I’m watching it become a complete body of work.

[creativeenquiryemmamilligan]

Book Binding Workshop with Tom Mcewan

This workshop with artist, Tom Mcewan, was a great help for this project as up until this point I wasn't sure about how the binding would work on a fabric book.

Below are the notes I took from this workshop, in which we made a small pamphlet book and then a proper cover bound book.

-Pamphlet book

Fold paper, short side to short side and then cut the crease two thirds of the way. Repeat this process, folding the same sheet in half again, short side to short side and cut the crease two thirds of the way up. finally fold the sheet in half again but do not cut this fold.

Get the cover piece of paper and put the paper inside and hold in place with a clothes peg. Poke two holes through the head and tail of the book, 1.5cm in. Proceed to poke a hole in the centre of these two holes. Following on from this, use linen thread to do the binding. To attach the thread to the needle, thread the needle then put it through Half of the short side and then pull the long side.

Stitching this pamphlet is different from other books as it has less holes and only one signature.

Below is an Image of the way you would stitch a book like this.

-Proper Book

Use the same method as above to get the paper ready, each sheet will account for one signature. Once all signatures are complete make sure they are all facing the same direction, with the end with the fold at the head of the book. The paper used was monken paper.

Use a template to place the holes for the spine and then put the paper on it and poke the holes in all the signatures.

Using the same linen thread and attaching it to the needle, sew a running stitch through the holes all the way to the end. when attaching the next signature put the thread through the first hole and then do a running stitch up it again but each time you pull the thread through, loop the needle through the running stitch of the signature below to attach them. At the top do a double knot with the short end from the first signature.

The third signature you need to do a similar method except you loop the needle through the left side of the cross made from the previous running stitches. At the end of this row, do a kettle stitch to attach the pages. Continue this method until you reach the end of the signatures, switching from the left side to the right side of the cross depending on what direction you are sewing. At the very end of the signatures do two kettle stitches.

Using book binding glue put a small strip at the top of the last and first pages to attach thew fold of the end page to the fold of the paper. using bone folder to press the paper into the glue (do this whenever glue is used). apply glue to spine and then attach a piece of scrim followed by a piece of brown craft paper.

Making the cover pages, get two sheets of cardboard and put a small amount of glue on them and attach a piece of paper that has a 2cm boarder. Cut a 45 degree line to remove all corners then apply glue and fold toward the cardboard, using your thumb to flatten any air bubbles.

Going back to the pages, do an outline around the scrim and then glue it down on both sides.

Glue a stiffened down onto spine fabric and then apply glue to the fabric, leaving a 1cm gap around the stiffened to allow for movement.

Line your book spine up with the stiffened and then fold the glued flaps down over each side of the cover paper. Once this has been done, put glue on the remaining cover paper and the outer edge of the cover before putting it on the book. Open the cover and move it around to create an equal boarder of the cover paper on the inside of the book while the glue is still wet, repeat process for the back cover and use the table to press and level the two covers out.

[morgbin]

Friday 9/27 (Day 12)

Yesterday I was asked "what's to stop anyone from just skipping work any day they don't feel like coming?" and today has proved the answer is "absolutely nothing."

I got up at 7:45, which means I had to miss both breakfast *and* making lunch - so I grabbed a protein shake and a packet of dry ramen to eat on the bus and hoped the fluffers had enough snack bars to get me through lunch. I got on the bus and ... there was *one* other person on. We waited till 8:05 and still, the bus is less than half full. Last night at the bar was "Al Night Long", an Al Yankovich themed party, and people went all out. A little too all out, it seems.

At morning meeting, DA says we're gonna change plans and only cover one block today: F to G. We're gonna start at 6:00 and half of the crew will go clockwise and the other half counter clockwise, and we'll meet back up at 12:00 (address) at the end of the day. This is because of how few people we are today. He stresses how important attendance is, and encourages us to lightly peer pressure our friends who are back at their bunks sleeping off the hangover.

Consider this the continuation of yesterday's post - since today was a pretty typical day.

I decide to join Knots' line, which turns out to be a great choice. It's Knots and Starchild on our side of the city, and the vibes are excellent. from the first "Death March" until our first fluff break, we've got "Born A Worm" on repeat and everyone is singing along in high spirits. After that, the oscillator is playing weirdass songs but thankfully nothing too annoying on loop. Our first fluff break is around 11am. When we get to the end of the block, instead of driving away from us and towards the next block (to keep us facing the right direction), the fluffer trucks throw open their back doors and pull out their coolers full of water/Gatorade and the buckets of snacks. We have about 15 minutes to sit in the shade of the fluffer truck, chat, hydrate, smoke cigarettes, and snack.

After that it's back to the lines for another hour and a bit, before lunch break. Today we're told to get back on the busses and the two groups meet up at center camp for lunch. Dan Berry has brought out his taco truck and I get in line for some fresh tacos. This always seems to happen on the days I forget my lunch, thankfully!!

Unfortunately though, partway through lunch, the most assholish fluffer starts playing the whistle stop song on loop. This is something I haven't touched on here yet and I ...don't have the energy to go into it right now, but, suffice to say that there's a culture here of playing annoying songs on repeat until someone has a "meltdown" and they think it's fucking hilarious and I am Not A Fan.

Actually, tbh they don't even stop after the fucking meltdown, so fuck this and fuck them and especially fuck Tiny.

ANYWAY they were playing this stupid fucking song on repeat at lunch so I put in my earplugs and headphones and had an antisocial 30 minute lunch.

sidenote: the oscillator running on Knots' line, Juicebox, is a perfectly normal human about all this. They were playing a sensible-to-play-on-repeat electronic song while we were walking on the line. When it came time for a break, I asked "could we get some variety for the break?" they nodded and then switched to a playlist. And that was the entire interaction and no one was a dick about it. AS IT SHOULD BE.

Anyway, after lunch we get driven back to the part of the city we were walking previously. The afternoon is a little rougher sun-wise, so it goes a bit slower. This is a video I took of the process, as you can see it's pretty tedious but satisfying.

We get another 15 minute fluff break around 2:30, and thennnn ~3:30 is the most beloved tradition: Morale!

For Morale, all of the fluffer trucks and busses group up together just like for lunch and situate themselves to provide maximum shade. The fluffers put coolers out on the ground and everyone is free to grab their own beers. These are all still donations from Collexedus, so it's a motly assortment.

On Saturdays, Morale is also when timecards are signed. Morale lasts about half an hour, and then we go back to the lines for one more block before we get back onto the busses to make our way back to Shoreline.

At Shoreline, we sort our moop into recycling, trash, batteries, and metal scrap.

Then we get back on the busses yet again and head out to Gerlach/the Ranch.

That was Friday! I had a great evening hanging out with some cool folks and went to bed 👍👍

[theghostpinesmusic]

Goose put on a hell of a show for the two-night stand at Hampton Coliseum that was this year's Goosemas. I'll admit, though, that I struggled a bit to appreciate the second, third, and fourth sets as much as they probably deserved because the first set was, in my opinion, basically perfect. I had a similar "problem" with this year's US fall tour: I saw six (!) shows in a row in person, but my first show was Montana, which is a serious contender for the best show of the year. I thought four of the next five shows were also great (Spokane didn't click with me, but I loved the venue and having a show in my adopted PNW "hometown"), but nothing entirely stacked up to the first night, and it took awhile to adjust my expectations.

So, yes, while Goosemas was great overall, it was a weird run to watch from the couch because it felt like it peaked at the start. That said, what a peak! This mirror-themed set is five songs: a theme-appropriate, well-played "Earthling Or Alien?"; a "mirror" mashup of both arrangements of "All I Need?" with an amazing bliss jam, the "mirrored" "Tumble" I covered in my last post, a great cover of Michael Jackson's "Man In The Mirror"...and a twenty-plus-minute-long jam of Justin Timberlake's "Mirrors."

Yeah, you read that right.

Unlike most of my Goose jam posts, I'm not going to start by introducing the song here: it's a JT song, it's a billion times popular than any Goose song you probably know it already, and I don't know much about JT's music that a cursory Google search couldn't also tell you anyway. So let's just jump into it.

Before we get to the jam proper, the first thing I love about this cover is that the band (in my opinion) absolutely nails the song itself. I mean, I'm sure anyone who is totally in love with JT's music and has never heard of Goose is going to find it lacking, but within their own particular sound, I think the band does a great job with it.

Watching live, it took me until the second chorus to realize where I'd heard the song before, then I started laughing like a maniac. I love that busting out a bunch of (mostly) surprising covers like this one is what the band chose to do for their biggest two shows of the year/their careers so far.

Then, after Rick's anthemic outro solo that starts at 4:45, the band moves into a synth-y jam space at 5:55. Watching live, I started laughing even harder: like, they're not only going to cover JT, they're going to jam out the song?!

Yes. Yes, they are.

The initial space here is slow, deliberate, and a little murky due to the background synth. Peter moves pretty quickly over to the Vibe, which makes things a bit more melodic, and Rick adds some growl to his tone in response. The interplay here between them and Trevor is fantastic, if sparse. Rick is playing more notes here, but the super-heavy reverb'd tone from Peter really dominates the feel of the jamming.

Pete lays back a bit starting at 10:15 and Rick takes a bit more of an assertive role. The Sinister Factor gets dialed up a bit more. One neat detail of this section is the riff that Rick starts playing repeatedly at 11:20, which you can hear Trevor pick up at 11:45 when Rick moves on to the next idea.

As usual, maybe my dumb ears deceive me, but I hear a key change (or at least a scale change from Rick) at 12:16. This moves us out of sinister territory (mostly), and causes Peter to throw out a few siren sounds. I feel like you know we're officially way out there when Peter starts breaking out the siren.

At 13:45, Rick mixes things up again, and Ben follows along with him. This is a neat move that speeds things up and really brings the percussion forward in the jam for the first time. Peter also switches over to what I think of as his xylophone patch, which always makes my day. Synth loops and xylophone patches? Yes, please. There's something particularly fun and unique about the juxtaposition of Pete's "xylophone" and Rick's grungy, bluesy tone here.

It sounds like Rick teases something briefly at 16:37, but I can't tell what. It might just sound a little like "What's the Use?" to me. Shortly after this maybe-tease, the band goes full speed ahead and Rick goes nuts for a bit as Peter switches to organ washes. We crash into a really peaky section starting at 18:28.

Normally, this would be the culmination of a big jam like this one, but instead the band takes off into another space after the peaks, slowing things down again at 19:50. Pete lays down some bluesy piano that Rick chops away under. Though the spotlight is visually on Peter here, I feel like this is actually the most locked-in the whole band is during the jam. I love what Trevor is playing, and the (relatively) minimal drums add to the jam rather than subtracting to it.

My only complaint about this entire performance is that the last minute of the jam (with Peter's bass piano riff and the tempo slowdown) is so badass that I'm sad they only stuck with it for a minute. The quick ending is neat, though.

And that's the story of how Goose jammed a Justin Timberlake song!

[bike42]

Thursday January 11, 2024

Up early for our excursion to Corcovado National Park, with our 4 new friends from the UK (2 originally Irish, one Scot, and one Brit). We had breakfast and met our guide, Tony. Then down to the boat for about a 30 minute ride to the park, with sea a little rougher today, but not too bad.

Tony is extremely knowledgeable and we started with driving up the river a bit, and he pointed out many species of birds, faster than I could record them. We’d heard a bit about Tony from Fernando last night, they’d been out birding together that evening. We stopped at an island just outside the park where Tony told us about the brown footed boobies. They came from somewhere in South America to nest here, and had a fuzzy white baby chick with them.

Landing was a little more exciting with the surf up, but the boat pilot navigated it well and timed it perfectly. We’d been instructed to wear closed toed shoes while hiking in the park, so Jeff and I took off our shoes and jumped in barefoot. We were met by an officer, not terribly friendly, not terribly friendly. It was her job to inspect our backpacks to ensure we weren’t bringing in any disposable plastic bottles.

Tony was a fantastic guide for the park. He told me in the early 1980s he had his first opportunity to come to the United States. They took a bus tour from Washington DC to Tucson Arizona. In Tucson, he lived with the family for eight months. The trip was funded by several central American governments for them to learn farming practices and bring what they learned back to Costa Rica. Tony said he was 24 years old before he ever heard anybody speak English, so going to the United States was a crash course for him. Tony grew up in the area near what is now this national park. It was amazing to hear him describe how he worked with his grandfather when he was a child to take down trees in the rainforest and burn them, then level the fields to plant rice, beans and bananas, and have space for cattle. The area he walked us through first had been the farm, and he pointed out the new growth of the rainforest only about 45 years old, and lots of remnants of banana trees.

The sign said to stay on the path, but that didn’t apply to Tony, apparently. He had on knee-high rubber boots, and he would call for a bird, listen for a reply, and then go trapsing into the jungle expecting us to follow him - a bit out of my comfort zone of course. We were able to see about a half dozen different kinds of birds. I didn’t retain all the names, nor did I really get photos. He also found several hiding places of bats, and we disturbed a few of them and they flew off in a huff. It was very hot, and very humid with no breeze. Jeff and I both felt ourselves getting lightheaded.

Soon, we looped around and went back to the pavilion where we had a snack and freshened our water bottles, and had another shot at the bano, then we went across the river to the area of the old growth rain forest. By then other groups were starting to arrive, and I think Tony led us on the loop backwards from the way most people do it, because we didn’t encounter many groups until we were walking out of the forest . Tony let us down to the beach as we heard the Scarlet macaw in the trees down there. It was fantastic to stand on the beach and watch three macaws feeding on some kind of nut. Jeff and I had watched Mackay on the beach a few days ago With similar behavior pattern. Tony said the macaw beak cracks the nut with 100 pounds of pressure. Whoa, keep your fingers away! They flew off together and it was simply majestic!

Back in the forest, Tony had us stay on the main path while he went down a side path. He was looking for a sloth that had been there a few days ago, but the sloth had moved? We Trudged on, and soon we came upon several families of Coati, several moms with lots of little babies. They were adorable to watch. Tony had a lot to tell us about who in the jungle is prey, and who’s predator, up and down the chain. The Coati eat crocodile eggs and I can’t remember what kind of animal feeds on the Coati.

Back to the ranger station, and our boat arrived about noon. On our way back to Aguila, we stopped at a beach I recognized as San Josecito (love how familiar we are with the area now), and picked up the boys from last night’s band. Looking forward to another show tonight.

We had another delicious lunch, sat with two ladies from the UK. They live in London and on the Isle of Skye. Charlotte is a landscape designer with work all over the UK and Scandinavia - cool! After lunch, I retreated to the hammock. Scrolled through email, read a bit and napped until it was time to shower and head down to Happy Hour. While I was in the shower, it started raining outside - heavy rain. We grabbed our large umbrellas and headed down to the Jungle Bar, enjoying the rain - the smell, the noise and the moisture in the air!

We played a couple of games of cribbage and chatted with some others. G&T was mighty refreshing, but I just couldn’t eat much of the tuna tartare appetizer tonight!

7pm dinner bell, and the music started right on cue. We met some new arrivals, but didn’t chat a lot as the music was the show again! Just after dessert was served, it started raining again really hard, and blew into the first layer of the restaurant! The band moved a bit more towards to the center of the room, as did most of us! And then we lost power. There was an emergency flood light over the desk, giving us a bit of light, and the singer’s amp was battery operated, as he kept singing even though the accompanying keyboard had stopped. It was awesome!! Fernando called it “Jungle Charm” and I can’t think of a better term. The power came on after about 15 minutes, and most of us took advantage of that to head back to our rooms. I heard the next day that the band kept playing … wish we’d have stayed!

[priscila-runs]

Week 4 micro log to observe, track, adjust my daily activities. I’d like to do this again next week because week 4 has been FUNKY. Our fridge broke down at the beginning of august and much to our absolute surprise and dismay, the property manager replaced it with a critter-infested fridge. This means that for the past couple weeks we’ve had roaches Trojan horse their way into our kitchen and personal space lol. Not good. We threw out most of the opened containers and saved what we could in coolers while we waited for a new fridge (which was a battle bc landlords in TX are not fun) and in the meantime took to eating out a lot, which, to no one’s surprise, led to very few affordable and healthy meals. A heartbreak for its own reasons. It’s been an interesting adventure. Fast forward ⏩ again to today and we are now in the clear with a new fridge and (fumigated) reclaimed personal space lol. Keep in mind that my log below was in the midst of this funhouse adventure.

Monday morning: exhausted, did not have the energy to wake up at 5AM. I think it’s because my LR was yesterday (like every Sunday so far), and I went to bed at 10:30, an hour and a half late! Ran my five miles at lunchtime today on the treadmill with great success! One perk of the treadmill is that it keeps you right on pace. Had sweet potato, beans and rice bowl with pumpkin seeds, spinach and lemon salad for dinner at a place called Honest Mary’s. Will try again for their wide variety of other bowl options.

Tuesday: Last night went to bed at 9:30, score. Woke up at 5:10, it’s now 5:15AM and I’m feeling much better than I did yesterday morning but muscles definitely a little tight. 3 miles today.

Tues night: actually just ran 1 mile bc groin area felt strained. I started feeling hesitant about running hard so I turned back. Going to bed at 9:30 and doing a tempo workout tomorrow. I promised myself that I will adjust my schedule THIS WEEK.

Wed morning: woke up less tired at 5:15. Headed out the door at 5:35 and did a tempo workout with just coffee. 🥵 I’m starting to get a hold of my Wednesday morning routine, which is good bc it’s the one I want to prioritize bc Wednesday is speed day.

Wednesday night successfully went to bed at 9PM!

Thursday morning woke up at 5:30, crap. But went out the door by 5:45 giving me plenty of time to do three miles at 8 min pace. Tumble 22 for dinner. I’m not aware of fried chicken sandwiches being on a dietitian’s meal plan 🤷‍♀️ but I fkn love fried chicken sandwiches so I said what the hell. At least I subbed the fries for potato salad 😇 It was a very enjoyable meal.

Friday: feeling great this morning. Five miles at 8:25 pace 🥵 Pizza for dinner! Ate the crust, which, I’m ashamed to admit, is a new endeavor for me.

Saturday. Today is dad’s birthday so I’m driving to see the family and celebrate. Hoping to do a long run there but his town is so small that I’d probably need to loop the town and back to do the full 12 miles. Rest day today.

Sunday: I surprised my dad with a margarita machine for his 60th birthday party. It was a blast until I realized it was midnight. I went to bed and while I did not do my long run (sad) I did wake up at 4AM to watch the Perseid meteor shower on the trampoline in complete solitude. One thing I love about the hill country is the night sky. Star gazing is an activity I’ve always treasured here for as long as I can remember. Therefore, the timing of my trip on the night of the showers was perfect. Those 30 minutes were remarkable.

I DIGRESS.

I adjusted my schedule this week per my promise to self. I now have speed days on Thursdays, rest day on Mondays and easy runs on Wednesdays. Hopeful that this adjustment will give me room to breathe during the work week and allow Thursdays the crucial concentration needed for building speed 😈 Gave the Hoka Mach 5s a try and they are great for long runs 👌 however, my Nike Pegasus, which I’ve had for a year or so, are the darlings✨ Wide toe box yet narrow, and not a lot of heel height, perfect for my silly little overpronating feet.

I’m curious about trying a pair of Mizunos next. Anyone out there tried?

[greenbagjosh]

Sunday 16 August 1998 - stamping the wrong TGV reservation (return vs away) - the underground cograil line - automatic train without screen doors, doesn't Nürnberg have something similar? - Roman Theater and Vieux Lyon - walk across the Sâone and Rhône to Part Dieu - Paris, one rail journey in the north before going to bed

Sunday 16 August 1998 (originally written August 2018)

Bonjour à tous! Summer is coming soon to a close, at least in 1998, and I will have to return to university for one final year. Sunday the 16th August 1998 is the last day I can do any meaningful travel, and stores are closed until Monday the 17th August. And there is one last free space in my Eurail Pass for taking the train.

The summary of what I did 16th August 1998 - pretty much a day of riding the Lyon metro

woke up around 6:20 AM, took shower and had breakfast at 7 AM sharp

Took M8 from Ledru Rollin to Bastille and M1 to Gare du Lyon

found my assigned car and seat in 1st class TGV to Lyon Part Dieu but validated the wrong reservation

arrived Lyon Part Dieu about 9:45 AM

had snack at Quick burger in the shopping mall and bought day pass for metro

took Metro B to Charpennes and went up and down Cours Emile Zola

took Metro A to Hôtel de Ville - Louis Pradel, then Metro C to Cuire

walked down from Cuire to Rue de Margnolles and caught bus to Croix Rouge (metro C)

took metro C to Hôtel de Ville - Louis Pradel, Metro A to Bellecour, then Metro D to Gorge du Loup

Metro D to Vieux Lyon, and funicular to St Just via the Minimes Roman amphitheater

funicular to St Just to have a look around

funicular to Vieux Lyon and Fourvière, saw tower smaller in scale from the Eiffel in Paris, and return

walk along Rue St Jean in old Lyon, saw tourbus with Guignol painted on it

crossed the Sâone by the Passerelle du Palais de Justice (made a double exposure with my camera somehow, on that particular bridge)

walked along Rue Childebert and crossed the Rhône by the Pont Wilson

walked to the metro D station Guilliotière and rode to Gare de Vénnisieux

rode metro D to Saxe Gambetta and Metro B to Part Dieu

go to Quick, order two takeaway burgers and coke

at Lyon Part Dieu, boarded return train at 6 PM, ate hamburger at a free seat not next to anyone, after my ticket and reservation were checked

about 8 PM, at Gare du Lyon, took RER A to La Défense, then went on a clockwise loop towards Gare St Lazare

went back to hostel to sleep

That was the summary of Sunday 16 August 1998. So here is most of what happened, based on my photo album called "Lyon and Paris in August 1998". Unfortunately it is near impossible to properly reorder the photos in chronological order but you likely will have a good picture of what I saw and did that day. I need to let you know that this day I had made extensive use of Lyon's metro, so to eliminate references to the Lyon Metro, will make this day's story meaningless. Hope you will understand.

In France, the sun rises late and sets late, similar to Spain, but not Portugal which is in the same time zone as the UK and Ireland. I therefore had to set my watch to 6:15 AM (and all this time I never mentioned it was a replica of that similar to Marty McFly from "Back to the Future"). Breakfast would not likely be served until at least 7 AM, so I had to take a shower and get my things together, particularly my radio/tape recorder, camera, AA batteries and 35 mm film, couple of 0.33 L Orangina bottles, and the all-important Eurail Pass with accompanying reservations. I wrote in 16 on top and 08 on the bottom, in the last remaining space for the dates used, and there would be no further point to use it on the 17th as I needed to stay within Paris. In any case, I had my Paris Visite ticket that would allow me to go as far as zone 3 (La Défense) valid up to 11:59 PM on the 17th.

Going down the spiral staircase, I ended up on the ground floor. I had the usual Auberge Internationale des Jeunes breakfast, namely coffee in cups some with the handles broken off by past guests (to give them character), six inch sourdough breadrolls, butter and seasonal jam. I think it was apricot. I was the only guest in the room up to 7:10 AM when someone else entered. About 7:15 AM I finished and left for the Ledru Rollin station westward down Rue Trousseau to catch the M8 to Bastille. As I did not have much more than my day bag, the transfer was fairly easy, despite the steps required to climb. It was only a few stops on the M1 to Gare du Lyon. Coming out of the station, I found the track and the car in the upper level of the first class of the TGV that I was reserved for. Well, you think that I might choose the Paris to Lyon reservation to validate. Did not work out that way. I validated the Lyon to Paris reservation. How embarrasing. The train left about 8 AM. It was about half an hour until the conductor came to check tickets. I flagged down the conductor to tell him that I meant to validate the Paris to Lyon reservation and not the other one. He said no problem, then wrote on the reservation, en francais, "composté par erreur" (validated in error) so that the return trip conductor would accept the correct reservation. Everything from then was fine for the rest of the journey to Lyon Part Dieu. Even the seats were nice, you could use the rocker switch to recline the seats

About 9:55 AM, the train arrived at Lyon Part Dieu. The approach to Part Dieu is almost directly north-south. To the southwest is a shopping mall with access to the Metro line B. At the time, the ticket machines did not accept paper bills so I had to change a 50 FF note at the Part Dieu location of Quick to get a day pass. I bought a small Sprite and received about 46 FF change, enough for me to get a day pass. Day passes on TCL (Transport en Commun Lyonnais) are valid for 24 hours, and there were no fare gates at the time as the system was proof-of-payment.

As soon as I bought my ticket, I validated it for 10:10 AM, and went to the Metro B Charpennes platform. In Lyon, the metro runs on the left, similar to Rome, Madrid, Lisbon and London. At Charpennes, there is a direct pedestrian link from the Metro B platform to the Perrache-bound Metro A platform. Per http://www.urbanrail.net/eu/fr/lyon/lyon-metro-b.htm, "The northern terminus at Charpennes is single-track, with line B trains being able to switch to the line A tracks to reach the depot at La Soie. Passengers changing between line B and the inbound line A can do so without climbing any stairs."

I climbed up the stairs to see what was at Charpennes, and it was the Hotel Mercure on Cours Emile Zola. I just stood there for a couple of minutes before moving on to Hôtel de Ville-Louis Pradel to get the Metro C. Metro A is similar to Metro B, but the Metro C has two main differences. One, the Metro C uses overhead wire for its electric feed, and two, between Hôtel de Ville-Louis Pradel and Hénon, a cog rail is used due to the incline. In fact, Croix-Paquet is said to be the steepest metro station in the world. At Hôtel de Ville-Louis Pradel, there is a slight rise at the platform to help the train come to a safe stop. Going up to Hénon was quite interesting, and Croix-Paquet was indeed quite steep. Between Croix-Rousse and Hénon it was fairly flat at the stations. Between Hénon and Cuire there is no need for the cog rail as that section is essentially on a plateau.

I thought I could take a bus from Cuire to Croix Rouge, but realized it was a Sunday and headways with TCL are a bit longer. I managed to get four photos of the passing Metro C cars with their pantographs. They kind of look like the Glasgow Subway cars in a way. I ended up walking along the Rue de Margnolles to a bus stop that had a line going to Croix Rouge so I could take Metro C back to Hôtel de Ville. After getting back on the Metro A, I went to the Bellecour station to make a transfer to Metro D. The Lyon Metro has few if any stations with central platforms, but Bellecour has the central platform for line D. Another thing about Metro D, although it is similar to lines A and B, it is billed as one of the first large-profile driverless metro line. In general, passengers on Metro D can be in the front and get a driver's view, and there is also a panel locked away in case it becomes necessary to manually operate the unit. I went on Metro D as far north as Gorge du Loup. Between Vieux Lyon and Gorge du Loup, it is a long underground section under Fourvière and the Cimitière de Loyasse. And at Gorge du Loup, there were a couple of things I noticed, one being a green Mehari, about as green as the average watermelon, and two, some musician I thought I recognized but wasn't. He was just some random person playing his guitar. I let him be and went back to the metro station.

At Vieux Lyon, there are not one but two cable car systems. One goes to St Just by way of the Minimes - Roman theater station. The amphitheater is close to the station and is open-air just like in ancient Greek and Roman times. From there you can also see down to the St Jean cathedral in Vieux Lyon. The station itself, in 1998 did not have any fare gates, and it has side platforms. It had an overpass for the far platform. Since the trains cannot operate in a single direction due to the mechanics of a conventional two-car funicular system, there are two signs to indicate which platform will serve which station, either St Jean at the bottom or St Just at the top. The signs switch each time so sometimes the close platform will serve St Jean, and the other St Just, then vice versa. St Just is only a residential area, but I found a classic 1970s Peugeot 304, that was pretty much the highlight of me visiting Lyon St Just.

It was time to visit the other part of Vieux Lyon, namely Fourvière. It required going down to Vieux Lyon St Jean and taking the Fourvière funicular. The Fourvière church reminded me much of Notre Dame de Paris. There was even a small-scale tower reminiscent of the Eiffel Tower. Probably it was twice the size of the replica in Paris, TX, not much more. I took the funicular back to St Jean cathedral, and walked along the Rue St Jean. I guess most people may not know Guignol, but I noticed a tourbus with his image on it.

To take a break from the rails, I wanted to cross the Sâone and Rhône rivers on foot. There was the Passerelle du Palais de Justice foot bridge. Somehow I made a double-exposure with my camera, if you see it in the photo album, you may know which one I am referring to. Then along Rue Childebert, I crossed the Rhône by Pont Wilson. The Metro D station Guilliotière was not far, so I boarded the train to Gare de Vénnisieux. At that station, it was not so deep underground and there was some natural light so I could get a good photo of the train leaving to turn around and coming back. Once it returned to the westbound platform, I boarded it and stayed on until Saxe Gambetta to go north on Metro B, to Part Dieu. It was about 5:30 PM and close to time when I needed to take the train back to Paris. At Quick, I ordered two hamburgers and a coke. There was not much time to eat, so I went to the train platform to find my seat. It was in the lower deck of the first class in the TGV train. The train left around 6 PM. I was sitting next to someone and I did not want to eat in front of her. I waited out of respect, for the conductor to arrive and let me choose vacant seats a few rows down. I also mentioned, en francais, that my previous reservation was validated incorrectly and he noticed the correct time. It was all good up to Paris Gare du Lyon.

The TGV arrived at Gare du Lyon about 8 PM and the sun was still up. Because the RER Line A stops at Gare du Lyon, I thought, let's do a clockwise loop at La Défense and come back through St Lazare and Auber, and end up back at the hostel. So I did that for the next hour, making good use of the Paris Visite card. While on the Banlieu train from La Défense to St Lazare, I heard "Les Portes du souvenir" by Les Nubians on the radio.

I was not particularly hungry after eating the two Quick burgers, so I went back to the hostel to sleep. I was fortunate to have quiet roommates. Monday the 17th would be a big day mainly of chores and such, maybe an adventure or two but not much more.

Thanks for reading, and bonne nuit, à demain!

[youreallyshouldtalkmore]

Malleus X Pregnant Wife Reader + Diasomia

Twisted Wonderland MasterList

When you announced your pregnancy, you swore Malleus turned into one of his beloved gargoyles. Malleus.exe stopped working => (・_・ヾ

As composed as he almost always is, most unflappable really, this threw him for a loop. But afterwards, he smiled so much that all Briar Valley felt his happiness.  He was smiling so wide when they went to Lila, Sebek and Silver than the three of them were like => (☉_☉) But when the news broke everyone was like => ◝(๑꒪່౪̮꒪່๑)◜

There hasn’t been a baby in Briar Valley in ages! 

We need to restructure things! You, wife of Malleus Draconia and Lady of Briar Valley were not to be left alone for even a second! If Malleus was not with you, you would have a guard. Silver became your special appointed knight. 

Lila was already calling himself the godfather and couldn’t wait to sing lullabies. May or may not have composed a new one by the time your child was born. 

You would think that Sebek was your husband, because sometimes he’d take one look at you and burst into tears. Happy tears, but tears nonetheless. “To know that I will be able to serve the future little lord or lady of the greatest Lord Fae of all time! Truly, I have been blessed! I shall continue to serve Malleus-sama and his Lady and his children until I draw my last breath! By the Great Seven, I hereby….” (well, we get the point >.<) 

This continued until the day you gave birth. Everyone was used to it by now. You’d just pat him on the arm and nod. 

If you thought, Malleus was protective now, his dragonic urges rose to an almost unbearable point. 

For him. 

He tried his hardest not to be possessive of you, but since you were pregnant, it became harder and harder. And the more your stomach grew, the worse it got. There were time you and Lila had to invent reasons to get him to leave your side, if only for you to breathe a moment. 

But then one day, out of the clear blue sky, when you began to really show, it hit Malleus. You were human! Sure, they had managed to bind your life to him. You would eventually die as humans could not live forever, but you would live far longer than the average human. Fae usually carried their young for about 10 months to a little over a full year depending on their age. You were human yet carrying a Fae child. He knew enough to know that a human woman’s body was not designed to carry children that long! 

He stewed for days before suddenly having his version of a panic attack! He should have thought of this before he got you pregnant! Was he destined to kill his wife over something that could have been avoided? He needed you here! He wanted his child too but….

Lila had to float up high enough, to grab Malleus by the shoulders to literally shake him to calm down!  “You already bound Y/N’s life to your own. She is strong. You are both in love and want this child. Trust me, it will work out!”  

May the Great Seven bless Lila. 

Once some calm sensibility was reasserted, Malleus he was able to relay his fears to you. He had spent days agonizing and you noticed. Every time you brought it up, he’d only smile and told you not to worry.  So when he came back in a better mood, he apologized for worrying you, kissing the back of your hand. Then he proceeded to share his feelings with you. He found that you did think about it, but you wanted this child a product of love between you and Malleus. You did try to say that if he had to choose between the two of you… 

His green eyes glowed as he looked at you steadily, tilting your chin, “I will not accept anything less than full compliance on this matter. You and this child will both survive. There can be no other options.” 

He kissed you then held you captive with this green eyes, “Swear to me that you will fight. You won’t let go of your life or the life of our child.”

How could you not give him your solemn vow? 

Dragonic urges, defcon mode activated!!  => ＼(￣▽￣)／

PSA: These were not the times to argue. In fact, as you progress in your pregnancy, you came to find that you were rather grateful for his dragonic instincts to protect his mate.  He was always a rock to you but now he seemed even more so. Which suited you fine as you were quite a bit nervous at times. 

When you became quite large, Malleus would frequently sit behind you, cradling your stomach and rubbing it. It was quite a relief on your back to have his sturdy and strong frame behind you. What could you fear in these tender moments? 

Sooo, I regret to inform you, you didn’t give birth at 9 months like a human. You ended up giving birth at 10 months, 1 week, 2 days and 45 minutes. We know this because Sebek had kept careful record of this fact. He knows exactly what day, time down the second of when the little heir was born. (May or may not know this fact about Malleus but we digress….) 

So what had happened was….  

By 9 months, you had grown quite large. In fact, you were a little larger than what a normal human pregnancy entailed. In fact, two weeks into the 9th month, you couldn’t even get out of bed. 

When you discovered you could not get out of bed, an overwhelming sense of fear crashed into you. It would embarrass you later that you actually had a practical panic attack. Could you even survive this? An ordinary human woman would be dead now! Was this baby going to kill you? You wanted it out! But it wasn’t coming out! You’d gladly sacrifice your life for your little one, but you needed him to come out! Would you even be strong enough to give birth to this child of Fae? You wanted one of you to survive for Malleus’ sake. Your child had to live! 

You didn’t remember much of your cries and pleas, only Malleus’ unfailing presence. He merely took it in stride and reminded you that you promised him that you would not let go. “So cry and scream if you must, but you WILL do this.” 

By day three of being bedridden, you managed to get yourself together. “You do know I love you and this child, don’t you? Please don’t think I don’t want this child.” Malleus only smiled, squeezing your outstretched hand, “I know all of this. That was fear talking. Bonded you are to me, you are still a child of man and are wont to such things. Do not think I took offense.”  

Cue a deep kiss, as he stroked your head.

You found yourself growing quite sleepy the longer the pregnancy went on. During one such times you were fast asleep, Malleus leaned over your stomach, carefully rubbing it.  With a tender kiss and he spoke, “My child, I think it’s past time for you to come out. Do not be greedy for your mother’s womb. I’m sure it’s cozy, but you are hurting her. You will cease the foolishness now and conduct yourself befitting your noble heritage and come out. We are ready to welcome you will open arms. Besides, if you stay in there, I cannot see you. Will you deny your father the pleasure of your face?” 

Literally an hour later, your eyes flew open as your water broke. Malleus simply nodded as if this was to be expected, “It seems our child, has listened to what I said.” You had no time to question this as a huge contraction slammed you. 

Sebek we love you, but trust me he was not allowed in the birthing chamber. No matter, he took to screaming and yelling at the servants as they ran around. He was probably in his element, though. Better that than fainting. “Get your act together you miscreants, we will be welcoming the little heir soon! Everything must be in tip-top shape! Move it! MOVE IT!!” 

Silver did as he always did since you became bedridden, guarded outside your door. He was tense as he heard your screams. He watched alertly as people darted in and out of the room. Sleepiness did not come to him then. 

Lila hovered, running errands for the midwives. We won’t count how many they were, both Fae and human, only that they were there. Hold this, make sure this comes in. Set this up, etc…etc. That was his job. 

And Malleus was sitting right next to you the entire time, whispering comfort and letting you squeeze his hand however hard you wanted. 

And finally, FINALLY ya’ll’s child was born. He looked quite like his father, his obvious Fae genes dominate. However, he had your eye color and his black hair was striped with your hair color. And he was born with little horns, as well. 

You always wondered if that was in part what made the birth so difficult. Malleus told you that had nothing to do with. Newborn’s horns are small but more importantly they are almost soft like playdough. They didn’t begin to harden until about a week outside the womb and would grow as they did. He learned this from Lila who had spent months researching births, Fae as well as Human to be ready for anything. 

You would have loved to hold your child after he was born, but you barely saw him because immediately after the birth you fell asleep. You would be asleep for three days straight. When you awoke, you greeted your child and were able to hold them. 

You actually woke up to Lila’s voice as he was singing a lullaby to your child. Malleus sat next to you, smiling as you awoke. 

And Silver, bless his heart, after you had awoken and everything was deemed all clear, went to sleep for two weeks straight. You had never seen that man as alert as he had in the past 10 months. He deserved that sleep. => (－_－) zzZ

At first, Sebek almost refused to hold your child. He didn’t want to hurt the little heir but after much coaching from Lila, he finally did. You saw his face went soft. And in the quietest voice you heard from him, he pledged his service to your child. 

You could tell your child was quite self-aware for a newborn. Must have been the Fae genes, but that’s a story for another time.