#ITS NOT THAT DEEP AND SHE WASNT ‘PUTTING HIM THROUGH SHIT’

[jalluzas-ferney]

Ok so no hate and we’re all entitled to our opinions but I just saw a reblog where someone said that “they need Jay to call Nya out for all the shit she’s put him through” and excuse me but what the actual fuck are you talking about

[chaoticats3]

Just gonna record my reactions to network effect (from chpt 4 onwards) here, spoiler warning

Also this is probably gonna be pretty boring it's just me ranting and making theories as I read. No like, deep analysis or anything like that just my first reaction lol

ITS ART??!?? ART IS THE SHIP ATTACKING THEM?!?! WHAT THE FUCK AND ALSO YOOO ITS ARTI FUCKING LOVE ART BUT ALSO WHAT THE FUCK ART

I dont believe for a second art is evil btw. No way. Not my boy (gn).

What do you mean the ship feels hollow. What do you mean. What do you mean. Where is art? WHERE IS ART?!?

This is graycris isn't it. Has to be. Art has to be fine.

The weapon? OHHH they are here for murderbol.... Definitely graycris.

Wait no? What other weapon.... Maybe they are looking for murderbot but didn't realize the weapon they were looking for is murderbot? That my theory

Are they like. Aliens? Ik that doesn't make sense bc it's literally a sci-fi setting, but maybe they are aliens who have like, recently contacted other people? Outdated lech and odd appearance and talk like they are "other" to humans.

"ART was so much more than a bot pilot" sobbing

DELETED IT OH YOU BITCHES MURDERBOT KICK THEIR ASSES KILL THEM KILL THEM KILL THEM

I refuse to believe art is dead btw. It's just not. Nuh uh. No way.

Ok so the target control system is acting weird. I think art is alive and pretending to be their system after secretly taking it down. Don't know why it didn't just kill them tho...

OH SHIT IM SAYING THIS BEFORE THEY DO BUT THEY ARE NEAR A BLACK HOLE (or a wormhole, whatever) IS TIME DISTORTION GOING TO FUCK WITH THEM. CAUSE THE OTHER TWO PEOPLE AMENA IS WITH MENTIONED THEM BEING THERE LONGER THAN THEY HAVE BEEN. IS THIS GONNA BE THAT ONE FUCKING DOCTOR WHO EPISODE WITH BILLY.

ROSS WTF DUDE.

Oh it was an accident wasn't it. I thought it was and then amena jumped on him so I was like... Was it on purpose?

Oh was it on purpose? Is he going crazy?

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHAT THE FUCK

IT IS BLACK HOLE BULLSHIT ISNT IT.

I'm so confused.

New theory, it's testing for a new device to control indentured slaves, still confused about what weapon the gray people were asking about.

Murderbot taking over the medical shit so if it goes south Amena won't feel like she has blood on her hands is going to make me cry hold on

"MY FRIEND IS DEAD" I'm actually crying. Like I never cry I'm actually crying. My eyes are wet. My throat hurts. This is not hyperbole

Alien remnants?!??? my alien theory is looking more likely.

HOLY SHIT THE REST OF THE PRESERVATION CREW IS STILL HERE SJNDKSKS MURDERBOT IS NOTTT HAPPY

I KNEW MY BOY ART WASNT DEAD

the password being murderbots feed address is going to make me cry omg art loves it so much

wait so art like, orcastrated, all this just to kidnap murderbot?!? What is going on?!?

ART IS BACKKK

Are the gray people like... People who were an abandoned colony who when through years of idk genetic mutation/ adaptation? Like when a species is split and evolves differently to adapt? Ik that doesn't happen quickly irl but...?

Ok so I think I'm right bc they think the targets were from the abandoned colonies too.

ART not wanting murderbot to act as a controlled security because it knows it dislikes the idea is making my emotional onggg

LMAO ART tattling on murderbot to the humans idndkanfhd

"Ive lost my crew, I don't want to lose you too" dying. On the ground. Dying.

HELL YEAH ITS CREW IS ALIVEEE

" Now here's the code to disable your governor modual" WHAT WHO WHO WAS THIS SENT TOO WAS IT A SECUNIT THAT THE TARGETS HAD?? WHAT??

"Your Peri's Secunit! SJJFKSKDBSJD I LOVE THESE TWO

I love Three and Murderbot 2.0 hell yes

OMG ART THREATENING TO FUCKING BOMB THE PLANET IM DYING LMAOO0

WHAT THE FUCK DID MURDERBOT JUST FIND. IS TARGET CONTROL SYSTEL A FUCKING DEAD HUMAN????

Art being embarrassed Abt how much it cares Abt murderbot and reluctantly telling murderbot Abt it's threat to blow up a fucking planet ainfjsjdksk

Murderbot realizing it's cared for and people put in the effort to go back for it is making me emotional dksdvgss

I love Mensa and Murderbot so much omg

Murderbot being a kind of reluctant big sibling to Three is so sweet. The found family is found familying.

ALSO the "I like being around Art"

AJFSKNDJSNDHRHEJ kicking my feet and giggling I love these two

Final thoughts:I loved it obviously. I loved seeing more of ART and Murderbot bantering. I loved seeing more Mensa and Murderbot. I loved Amenas dynamic. I loved it. I think this one and artificial condition are battling for number one in this series for me. That might just be because I love ART lol. This was a rollercoaster and I loved it. (Ik I'm repeating myself but like, what else can I say lol)

[junietuesday]

genuinely i wasnt sold on hardshine until ep99 exactly. bc to me it just would not have worked if jake and emily had played it any other way than they did in that episode. i was honestly rooting against hardshine my first listen through bc its like. the main guy and the main girl on a team? yeah theyre in romantic love. why? bc theyre a Man and a Woman and the main two characters. but why do they care abt each other? bc theyre a Man and a Woman. and so it was so so refreshing to have a show that was like. its adult. it still does talk abt sex and romance sure. the main characters do express their sexualities. but the core of the show, the main characters, the point is the deep bond of friendship between them. the love of friends and family is front and center in all the sideplots too, romance is just like in the periphery. like they make occasional jokes abt the will they wont they of hardshine and there was that running bit abt balnor having a crush on moonshine, but when shit gets serious, when lives are on the line, thats when you get the band of boobs calling each other the family they chose.

and then ep99 itself. when jaina first mentions that she thinks moonshine is cute hardwon’s first response is “thank god” and ���yeah i get it moonshine is the coolest fucking person in the entire world. she does some stuff that seems crazy sometimes, but its like you never think youre into it until she does it, and then its like, damn”. and when jaina tries to be like “do you like her? should i back off?” hardwon dances around ever explicitly stating how he feels, and instead says firmly “it doesnt matter how i feel abt moonshine bc shes going to do whatever the hell she wants anyway, and thats why i fuckin worship her”. like ZERO possessiveness. ZERO jealousy. hardwon just commiserates w jaina and fully agrees that moonshine is so awesome. and like instantly hardwon runs to moonshine for help to hook up w someone else and later moonshine helps hardwon impress the other girl again. its not abt the feelings between hardwon and moonshine being a chain holding them down forcing them to be exclusively together, but like. a simple love and adoration that holds no expectations of exerting control over each other, they have the freedom to go out and explore and find love wherever it exists, but also the Choice to come back to each other at the end of the day- as emily puts it in the short rest. its not abt traditional romance, marriage, any of those kinds of labels and obligations. and Particularly moonshine goes out of her way to, after she casts a protective spell on hardwon and says “youre very precious to me” and kisses him on the cheek, still tell beverly later that she didnt forget abt him and shes got a spell for him too. like the whole sequence of hardwon and moonshine hooking up w other people is played w sincerity and care for the characters and their relationships yes, but w levity as well, its a fun bit. but w the real emotional finale of the boobs sharing one last one big bed, the core of the show is again reaffirmed to be the friendship between the band of boobs. romance is neither portrayed as simply a given just bc hardwon and moonshine are a man and a woman - they actually put in the work to show Why moonshine and hardwon care so deeply and lifechangingly abt each other, WITHOUT then framing it as the build up to an inevitable romance, they never even confirm romance at all - nor as the most important kind of relationship people have. its like. even if hardwon and moonshine were ever to get together in some capacity, it’d never be a traditional monogamous romantic relationship, and any romantic/sexual feelings between them comes secondary to the deep bond of friendship between them.

[gamblersdoll]

𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓵𝔂!- 2

the words with the question stuck out more than anything. ‘are you in a relationship?’ rung through his head for weeks at a time. he could have just said no, but then, couldnt it be disrespectful to you?

shit, now he sounds delusional since you aren’t dating him.

he sat in his office most of the day, just pondering on the question and the fact that he couldnt even respond right. he also fucked himself bad when he clicks on your ‘Instagram’ and sees you in your pretty bikini top.

only just the fact you had your arm around some other man, who just so happened to be a classmate. no biggie right? couldnt be.

yet, he kept staring at you. he stares at the birthmark right on your sternum, the small birth mark in your arm and throat. he’s seen them before, but its so much different now.

shit, he was off the deep end for you. and the whole thought process of how youre only a little bit younger than him, and the scandal he could put you in since you were in a mentorship with him. he needs to save people, he wants to. yet, he’s debating on if they mean that much like you.

he also hated how hot it can get in japan, weather sitting at a ninety nine degree temperature at night. both you and him were patrolling since tokoyami was underage and couldnt be out.

thank god that he brought water though, the good kind at that.

“so uh, how was the beach, little one?” hawks mindlessly asked, looking around while you did the same.

“it was fine, it was just somewhat crowded and hot. i dont even know why i went.” you say, you reminded everyone that depending on what temperature it was outside, you could go. heat wasnt one, you hated it.

“ah, well, it is a beach.” he replied back, gathering himself back next to you. “any fun this weekend?”

“i dont know yet. probably not.” you say, shrugging it off and walking beside him. the cool breeze goes through your hair, you sighing in relief that you could at least feel it through your clothes as well.

shit, she’s free this weekend? he thought to himself, ever so occasionally side eyeing you to see if you were looking at him, were you looking at him? no. damnit.

his hands get sweaty in his gloves, him feeling like some highschool kid in love with the popular pretty girl who just so happened to give him a chance. he clears his throat and looks away from you to see anything else.

fuck, you were actually shorter than him, so you were actually a little one… which only turns him on more. he wasnt a big build, but he was still somewhat bigger than you.

“you wanna.. grab something to eat?” he asked, pointing to the ramen shop up the street and smiled. “its on me this time since you basically saved my ass yesterday.”

but you practically saved him in general.

“yeah, sure!” you say, cheerful that they’ll have so much air conditioning inside the shop. plus, youre craving a good ramen.

he also gathers that you do a little ‘happy dance’ when you finally get food. you wiggle side to side in your seat, a relaxed sigh in your throat and, your mood increases. do you even know you do this? probably not. shit, you probably do, you do this just so he can say something about you.

the fuck is wrong with me? he questions that daily, and he can only think about that one question until your body spray wafts into his nose, causing a dopamine rush to his brain and he has to stop himself from his eyes rolling back into his head.

fuck, was he some damn addict?

there’s hints of some fruit, he doesnt get what though. he also smells coconut and now hes only curious, pausing on eating his food. hes gotta know what it is, he had to. he cant just ask you because thatll seem weird. it seem creepy for your mentor asking what body spray you use.

was he actually going to find a time to sneak in and find out for himself later?

[trollblivion-ooc]

i feel like ive never really gone into cosmos’ story that well, considering its littered with all sorts of complicated toxic relationship things

he lives on the same beforus as Akrine and Noraxi, but wayyyy off the bank in a literal ivory tower near the sea. he lives with Corall, who’s frankly an awfully toxic troll who has issues with being good. she often apologizes after doing heinous shit like being over possessive etc etc.

she and cosmos grew up together but since hes a perfect chimera mutation and shes a fuchsia, she really thought of him as a friend-pet. like when they were only kids it was more tame and more ignorance than anything and the shared corall’s lusus. but as they grew older, she sort of lost control of being able to subvert evil empire fuchsia stereotypes and sort of just got all possessive and thought of cosmos as less human (troll?).

and since cosmos is also sort of. weird. (isolated and sheltered his entire life and has a DEEP infatuation with colors) corall kind of just doesnt like that part of him, since cosmos is a littleeee bit obsessive im his own way, seeing as corall is the brightest fucking fuchsia known to man, like a fuckin neon genesis hit her genetics when her egg hatched or some shit. but cosmos isnt malicious with his whole color loving deal, and he loves collecting blood so much just to have that visual stimulation (and he sort of wishes his blood wasnt white, he copes by thinking about how all the colors of the caste system are in his blood)

anyways corall sometimes just is a straight up obsessive loser and that ends up with cosmos being bitten a few times

and corall ends up falling down the stairs of the tower and breaking her neck or something so she ends up dead

cosmos eventually goes downstairs to see whats up after shes been gone for a few days and sees her, its like a bomb goes off in his brain. his sort-of culler/sort-of friend/sort-of SOMETHING just is flat out dead and her body is in front of the only exit of the damn place.

so obviously he goes back upstairs, grabs his trolldoll that looks like corall (made for when hes sad and lonely n shit when corall is out and about) and he just stays up there. hes too terrified to walk over her body and too worried about jumping out the window since its so high up.

so he holes himself up in there and finds coralls palmhusk and figures out grumblr by himself.

i imagine that if or when he DOES get out, theres two options, he either gets over corallite and accepts the abuse she put him through and the fact none of it can be fixed and he steps over her body and walks away.

or he gets sick of the tower and jumps out of the window, hoping to land in that soft looking bush below, since the ocean is a little too far away to fall into

old art, my beloveds.

i imagine that in the world where cosmo walks out the door, that akrine and noraxi are midway through their story (akri is still accepting herself etc) and theyre on the beach

cosmos sees them, enamored by their closeness and he sits down on the sand and watches the moon set, with akrine and noraxi near the shore.

he would finally wash his hair and it would become more like cheries

[eggsploded]

moar you say.. why then gregor and rodya of coarse....

where would i be without rodigor. where would WE be, without rodigor.

first impression: THE fuckin guy. this dude owns. (insert 50 invasive questions about cockroach anatomy and behavior) i was peeved his roach arm resembled more of a beetle horn than a arm

current impression: when chef greg dropped i got so horny i went to bed lightheaded i still love gregor dearly but my love for him has mellowed like the fondness for a favorite pasta dish.

favorite moment: literally every old fart moment he has. when he forgets names when he berated sinclair for not cleaning his plate when he goes uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh in his dialogue because he doesnt know where hes going with this

story idea: despite his deep frying and boiling during hells chicken i think the bus kinda Likes this guy. gregors a bit of a hot commodity. hes just a fella you can Jive with. a real Stand Up guy. now let him be loved, if obliviously through his own self consciousness. a friendly heathcliff rough slap on the back delays his depressive episode by 15 minutes

fav relationship: oh boy where to start!!!! rodigor. enough on that. meurgreg, not really romantic to me but i like the art of it that is. it revolves around a big fella carrying him under his arm so automatic slay. ive seen a little gregcliff action on the TL but its more of a 'work got me friends with people twice my age like whats uncle greg up to' ordeal to me. now lets get insane. gregsang is incredible to me because yi sang is the only mf on that bus EASIER than gregor. gregor got game? that hes aware of? while stuttering the whole journey? its kind of crazy. i dont actually have a reason why they would even like eachother yet but put rodya in there somewhere to toy with them if you want true crackshipping fun

fav headcanon: hes a little chunky

RODYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my favit

first impression: me furiously searching for her height on the wiki + nodding my head sagely deciding woman with sleepy eyes is peak character design (faust included). i trust her wholeheartedly even if she leads me hand in hand into a woodchipper

current impression: waiting for projmoon to drop more lore on her desperately because i know canto 2 wasnt everything. i feel a disconnect with the fanbase about her because i see rodya characterized sooooo differently than how i think of her. the gambling thing and her effortless confidence for example isnt really questioned like how it is with dons bravado. i see her gambling as an outlet for her complicated views on money. she feels as though being financially 'secure' as the lone survivor as a betrayal to all the deaths she caused. gambling not only aligns with her current im the hottest shit attitude but also is a way for her to not be responsible for money. the hoarding of wealth is what caused her community to starve, why would she want to do something that seems to harm others? shes very self destructive, and feigning as slots star is just one of the ways she forces herself to 'stay in the cold'. ummmmmmmmm anyway im really normal about rodya and think about her a normal amount also her love for decadant food really resonates with me as someone who was poor in childhood because the difference between eating to live and living to eat is Astronomical

favorite moment: shes started branching out and calling other people than greg pet names and it is so exciting. faust has now reached babe status!! good for her!!! also when she infantalizes sinclair its terrible for him but REALLY funny for me when he responds back and reminds her oh right this is a 22 year old man. also her random interjections that are socialist ideology are really funny because they always feel so fucking random and like projmoon is remembering why crime and punishment was written and going drop this bomb ass line itll go so hard guys

story idea: i want her to play poker against yi sang because hes weird and also his poker face is like. genuine and dear adoration for being able to play with his companions because deep in his soul is gardens and butterflies. she would be so freaked out not only because this guy agreed to playing poker but also because he is invasively (he didnt mean it) staring into her SOUL to find solutions

fav relationship: my thoughts are half the bus are in love with gregor and the other half with rodya with cases of overlap. rodya is so epic because shes seemingly got it together to the more deranged sinners but to anyone else its like oh my god this paper mache bitch the former being more faustish the latter being more ryoshuish. faustya is cute because faust initially wanted to absorb more Bad Bitch Strategems and then kinda got a crush and is hardcore malfunctioning also kurokumo ryodion got sumn GOING yall crazy love is love though

fav headcanon: shes actually really short for Lobotomy Corp Backstreets Russia and everyone there is just freakishly tall (see: sonya)

[beekissies]

HI BE!!!!!!!!!!! im so hurngy....... 🐰, 🐨 & 🐵 for phanomen? and perhaps... as always...... if u r so inclined...... lrtr...... lorenpepper

LORENPEPPER....... thank u for indulging me ive been so bored . wilting away........... these madem e think so much . thank u so much . but also youre EVIL!!!!!!

ask game here!

🐰; If they live together: Was it easy for the two of you to agree on the interior decorations? Does one of you want to change something all the time? And is this your forever home or do you plan on moving somewhere else one day?

i like to think that they share a dorm room in rhodes island! the doctor probably saw them together and made a face and was like yea...... itll be fine...... phantom doesn't seem to be the type to be into decorating to me so he's happy to go along w whatever omen likes ^_^ she probably has a lot of vases around for flowers he gives her and stuff, record player in the living room (important), cat bed for miss christine (very important)... just simple stuff but enough to make it feel lived in! after act or die apparently he travels around a lot and only occasionally comes back to rhodes island so in that case i can see a lot of the decorations in their wherever-they-are being kinda sparce since they're gonna move soon anyway. but something something... home is where wifey is so i don't think the transience(?) of it really bothers either of them much ^_^

for lrtr i think they generally also agree on decorations in the backroom ^_^ the default decorations are from entrati and they both have a bone to pick w that guy so yk might as well put whatever random shit u can so u forget that the couch is from him!!!! arthur is a military guy so he probably likes things relatively neat and loren is. very much not that. so i think the decorations change a little bit every day by nature of loren putting some new thing they fetched from a mission and arthur Sighing Fondly and finding a new place to put it ^_^ if they could they'd live there forever. alas. the nefarious tennocon teaser trailer

🐨; Let’s dig deep: What was the most difficult obstacle of your relationship that you had to overcome?

THE NEFARIOUS CHEETAH (the old tragodia)!!!!! yea its an external factor but i think the fact that he basically brainwashed both of them for their entire lives is a pretty big obstacle... even if he kinda tried to pair them up together it wasnt rly in a healthy way yk. fucked up both of their expectations about romance and each other to the point that omen was like yes. when we get married i have to DIE because im a PLOT DEVICE FOR HIM and phantom was like what. huh. i dont want that. hello. and then phantom stabbed tragodia it turned out fine i think

for lrtr its both the man in the wall being a little freak and also the fact that both of them are REPRESSED!!!!!! they don't want to admit they need help and god forbid they admit they have FEELINGS for EACH OTHER! they'd rather take that knowledge to their many many many many graves. but putting up walls to other people is what the mitw wants. so they kinda had no choice but to make out through the reactor glass eventually #truelove

🐵; What was it like to introduce each other to your respective families and friends? Did they support you right from the start or were they a little wary, at first?

in my head phanomen's family were mostly the others in the troupe but. stares. they can't really approve or disapprove anymore.... shalem unfortunately has known about them for forever and i think even if he throws up a bit in his mouth each time he sees them do pda he's happy for them both. they were able to turn something the troupe did into something good yk... miss christine definitely also knew about them both for foreverrrr and i think it's kinda similar on her end too. when omen is around phantom's emotions get so complicated that it reminds her of when he was younger/when they first met. like a mix of him being repressed and not knowing how to deal w emotions properly and also like... making him feel more "innocent" emotions again? yea ^_^ i think she likes omen bc of that, even if omen's Own emotions arent exactly the tastiest to her. i still like omen being friends with orchid and i think it'd be kinda funny if she was kind of skeptical of him at first. "she keeps saying she'll die for u so u better treat her well u hear?" or something along those lines. but they're both obsessed w each other so it's ok

loupy and the hex are all besties for life so i think it's safe to say that they support them ^_^ eleanor especially — arthur has a line about how she thinks the world of them. i think the funnier convo to be had is arthur meeting loren's 6383938373920202738202 parental figures... i like to think that teshin is a little wary? skeptical? of arthur at first bc loren acts tough but they're rly squishy inside yk. he knows how much emotions can Do to them and he doesn't wamt them to fall back into their spiral again so i feel like arthur kinda has to. prove himself to him. but after a while i think teshin is grateful for arthur bc now he has anti knight loren part 2 insurance!!!!! i think umbra is also kinda similar. he lost a child already yk so i feel like he's v protective over operator/drifter... i feel like loid raises an eyebrow at them but is like. whatever makes u happy tenno.......... and i think mama is also generally approving! i think she Already Knew somehow . probably tells them to be good to each other ^_^ kindness and love is how they defeat the indifference ^_^ and don't make out in front of her she's busy. also operator is on the line between "genuinely dgaf" and "hating both of their guts" but what's new

[meandyouinlesdeux]

5/5/25

guess i should start at the begining.

i live in a subrub in the middle of nowhere, stuck with my parents and my brother and our two dogs. i dont like any of them, nor do i love any of them either. i barely even tolerate them. my parents had me super late. my mom is in her mid fifties and my dads catching up to her. my brothers two years younger than me but i never remember that. i dont particularly want a relationship with any of them, because none of us are at all close, the only thing we share is one last name and all that. my nerotic overbearing mother hates everything i like, continuously suffocates me from being in out in the world on my own out of fear i wont know how to protect myself while simultaneously also trying to push me out, and above all i dispise her for making me. every time im upset or im arguing, she turns it into a guilt trip about how her parents were divorced and used to beat her and her ex husband was abusive and she used to live paycheck to paycheck and she had me because she felt like it was the only way to get unconditional love, because now i have to be subjected to the tormant that is being born trans in lower middle class household, instead of a rich nepo baby.

my father has anger issues and is practically a priest in the maga cult, and that, amung other reasons is why i dont speak to him, and havent in several years. saying you love your trans kid, but see no issue with the man you worship condemning "transgenderism" and calling them all predator's are a contradiction. if he did love me, he would be bothered by their blatant transphobia, but hes not. theres other reasons, like when i was a kid, he kicked straight through our tv cause we wouldn't go to bed, he put various holes in the walls, when he gets angry while driving, he drives incredibly dangerously and i often anticipated getting into an accident, and the last time i spoke to him was when i was sixteen, and he tried to put his hands on me and wound up flipping over our dining room table. thankfully, hes rarely home. he works 16 hour night shifts which mean i basically sleep through the entire time hes home till he goes back to work, so i can pretty much avoid him all together. ironically, growing up, he was the "fun parent".

then my brother is nothing. he has no real personality or interests. his voice is so deep its not even registerable to the human ear. i'll tell him to speak up and he lowers it to spite me. its incredibly irritating. he still shops in the kids section, of target, and is so thin hes practically emaciated. i dont know why hes so skinny, he doesn't have anyone to look good for. his hair is always greasy, and he has one of those discord mod mustaches that makes him look like a child molester. i shit you not, he looks like adam lanza. matter of fact, thats the photo of his contact in my phone. it might sound like im being cruel to him, but he used to chase me with knives for no real reason. he saw me trying on a wig i bought for junior prom and told me i quote, "looked like a slur", and i once bought a pizza and he stole a slice and when i yelled at him for it, he said i should be "enslaved on a plantation somewhere."

our two dogs dont really give a shit about anyone but my father, and are anti social enough i tend to joke we really have cats instead.

i dont love any of them, or respect any of them. often, i cant wait to dance on their graves, though in actuality i'll be fucked because when they die, things are pretty much over for me.

im not really allowed to do anything. when i was a kid, i wasnt allowed to watch spungebob or cartoon network, or really anything other than old disney movies or pbs, because my mom thought it would give me autism. im not allowed to really go anywhere alone, or to have friends that shes never personally met, or to hang out with people shes never met, or go anywhere she dosent know. im still to this day, not allowed on social media. ive been on social media sense i was 14, and despite the fact she herself doomscrolls on facebook and instagram, she still wont let me on any real form of social media. im not allowed to leave the house without permission, even if i was getting a ride from someone, im not allowed to have people come over. im not allowed to take ubers or taxis. im not allowed to go for walks or bike rides outside of the small neighborhood we live in. and most inconvintly, im not allowed to speak positively about sex or want to have it. im not allowed to watch porn, or read smut, or jerk off in peace, or leave for grindr hookups. my mother has no trust in me at all, because she thinks i lack self awareness. i dont, she just will think that no matter what so i no longer bother to be self aware if shes anywhere near me. because its a waste of my time and energy, and above all, i hate wasting my energy. i dont know how to drive. i dont even own a bike, so i have to depend on her to drive me everywhere, and if she says no, thats it. theres no other way out of here.

i spend all my time in my room, on my laptop, to try and avoid them all. most of the time watching youtube. that should feel better, considering everything in my room is stuff i like, but its not. i feel like repunzle on my best days and a death row inmate on my worst. its like a barbie jailcell playset.

i dont really have a social life. ive been trans 10 out of 12 years of school, and so i was a social periah for that reason. my elementary school friend group carried over to middle school, where it expanded and prompty exploded. someone owed me money so i talked shit about them and someone else decided to be a coniving bitch about it, and then i was never friends with them again. i drifted for some time, then covid happened, and when i came back, i made friends with theater people, and that exploded senior year cause me and a friend in the group agreed to not do the spring musical, but they went behind my back and got cast, and everyone else was already in it except me, and i lost my shit. i was friends with the stoners till the last day of classes, which i thought was more genuine, but they dropped me after classes were over because i "complained to much" which...thats what your there for, to be a therapist to me, the fuck? my social circle is now just me, one internet friend i have on the back burner, and one kid i was friends with in high school and we send each other tik toks. thats it. i dont really talk to anyone, and theirs whole days i dont speak a single word. i try to find a therapist but part of it is that it needs to be out of the house so i can say how i really feel about my family without them knowing.

i think thats enough for today. periodicly i'll do little lore drops about my past, or general thoughts i have, but mostly i just want to bitch about the state of my life

[sleepdeprivedvigilante]

Ok but theres TWO characters, TWO CHARACTERS, who give me the same fucking vibe.

Damian Wayne and Selwyn Kane

LISTEN- THEY ARE BOTH SELF-LOATHING BLACK HAIRED TEENAGERS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH SOMETHING "demon"OR POWERS THROUGH A SIDE OF THE FAMILY.

They both were forced into the roles of soldier/Bodyguard/Assasin/vigilante at a young age, and sure you can argue for damian that it was bound to happen or else he would have risked himself and he already raised as an assasin, same with selwyn, If he wasnt oathed to nick he would have transformed into a full demon he didnt really get a choice and he ddint want to loose his humanity.

SEE:

-Both forced into roles that no chikd should be put through, highly dangerous and/or with high manipulation and torture

-Both didn't get a choice even if they "had " to choose. Damian was already soon of the Bat and he was already raised a ninja, groomed to be heir of both. Selwyn the son of a merlin who since his birth was groomed to become the Kingsmage, who as a child got sent to live with this Family and tasked to protect A community of die/loose his humanity.

-Both have deep trauma and self-loathing.

Like, Damian feels the guilt over the deaths on his shoulders fron when he was a child assasin, thats very deep guilt, mixed with his families treatment him,(not all bad but they could do better), he has very self sacrificial tendencies seeing himself as expendable and preferring others lifes over his own (In a very concerning level of suicidal ideation).

Sel has a similar deal, he deals with a lot of pain and grief from how he treated Bree to his mother abandoning him mixed with the regents and legenborns abuse of him, that and he feeks pain and doesnt show it and he makes choices and sacrifices himself especially due to that guilt.

-Both got them mommy issues

We dont know that much about Sels mother apart from that she can resist turning and she was friends with brees mother, we have few glimpses of her but thats it. We know this, Sel feels deep grief and pain over loosing her, he also is upset that she didn't come back for him, and angry on her behalf cause he can and cant justify her actions.

we have more information about damians mom and we know she loved him and its mutual, but Damian did get dropped off at his father after years, they didnt even meet until certain age for Damian, Damian was also trained since birth and he loves his mom, he cant condone her actions, he cant justify them and it pains him because its still his mom.

-They both are Dry humoured Emotionally constipated Teenager emos.

BOTH their characters are very angsty and dramatic but have a sense of dry humour and comedy.

Like Sometimes its cruel due to being defensive and sometimes its funny saracasm or something just makes them so done. Like Sel after bree told him to say something and he did exactly that, or the jokes they have,same with damian, Like the joke about the crowbar to jason in robin 2021, there he was defensive and trying to get the rise out of someone but it was dry cruel humour, very funny and also their humour is a mix of angst and "Try me bitch" so they will say espontaneous shit thats funny or obvious sarcasm mixed with the joke of "I need therapy" Because thats their mindset (And no Damian wayne is not the feral eight year old brat that cant ever laugh that some people think he is,he is a teenager and has developed well through the comics)

-They are self aware as fuck and idiots.

They can probably go on and say the most concerning shit about their childhood like being raised as an assasin or taken as a child. Selwyn joked about trying to help bree when she needs Just a much therapy than him or even more, and then he jokes saying no one needs more therapy than him, and then theres damian talking/Thinking about his childhood and sometimes realizing how messed up it was, or how it upset him to do certain things.

-They both are dramtic as shit and speak with a fancy air.

Like holy shit (I do too but i read too much) the calling people Full names or fancy titles miced with spite, or the way they speak bejng all "Thine thou shant" dramatic, or how damian Would give a speech to jason to electrocute him dramatically or Sel just being sel edgy.

Anyways theres a lot of similarities and differences but this characters are literally same.

[catb-fics]

hi im new ans have a few questions

1. whos mary? im sorry if its well known i only listen to the music, i didnt even know who van was and ive been listening since 2015!

2. do sam and catb have any correlation or do you just write them together for fun

3. whats van actually like as a person, ive only seen two interviews, ive never been one of obsesseing over bands, even in high school i wasnt

Hello anon welcome to catb tumblr 💖 there’s a few of us in a little community on here if you want to join, it’s only small but come and say hi if you like, everyone’s really nice xx

And feel free to come and ask any questions, I love talking about catb! I listened to them for a few years without knowing anything about the band either but now my head is full of useless catb facts 😂

There’s two Mary’s in Van’s life! One is his mum and the other who I guess you’re talking about is the dog he got for his mum one Christmas, she’s called Little Mary and she’s the one mentioned in Fallout who was keeping him awake! She’s really cute 🐶❤️

Sam and CATB don’t have any connection musically, I’m just a fan of both and I thought it would be fun to bring Sam into some of my catb stories. Lots of catb fans are also massive Sam fans. Also Bondy, CATB’s ex lead guitarist is good friends with Sam, they’re both from North Shields near Newcastle.

I tried to link all of CATB’s interviews on here so I’ll link the masterlist of those below if you want to watch any more. I love watching interviews as you can see all the guys’ personalities shining through. Van’s old interviews are hilarious, he’s so cheeky he loves to yap! I think Benji described Van as very driven, ambitious and a bit nuts. Since the band break up there’s been lots of nasty stuff said about Van online so you’ll probably come across all that. It’s been a very up and down time for fans since 2020 😭 Unfortunately some fans are intent on digging up all his dirt which if you sift through anyone’s personal shit deep enough you’re going to find bad stuff. He might not be the easiest person to work with and he seems to require a lot of control over band stuff which has likely lead to him making some bad decisions but I think the most important thing is, none of us know him personally, we can only make our own opinions based on the public face he puts across (and the rumours if we choose to listen to them). I think sometimes it’s good to not let the personal stuff get in the way of your love for the music and the band ❤️

Have you ever seen catb live?

[uglypastels]

Personal rant incoming because i dont have anywhere else to put this or anyone else to share it with-

Thing is, I hate parties.

But I also know I need to leave the house every now and then and meet up with people my age and come out of my shell.

But my god it was horrible.

The second I got there, not even passed the theshold, the person behind me just says: oh my god I think we have the same costume. And yup. We did. Worst part was that I had already predicted it. Somehow, deep in my gut I saw it coming (while also knowing no one else would get it, which somehow was for the most part also true) and it just immediately sunk my tiny shred of confidence down because, sure its not the end of the world, but still, how fucking emberassing. Out of all the costumes. I just wanted to scream.

But instead, I walked inside and it just got worse from there. It's like all the things that inherently make a party a party were also designed to trigger me into a deep sense of discomfort. Stranger. Loud noises. Alcohol.

I have never been the most social person, but idk what the fuck has happened to me the last few years but its like the last few pieces of my confidence and social skills have been completely deteriorated. I just cant get a single word out. Even introducing myself, when I know I should, I cant. Just smile and wish I would die.

But at the same time, when I do try and speak up it's like I don't exist. No one ever acknowledges what I saw or do and i dont fucking know what I should do. Am I just not funny? Do they not give a shit? Am I truly invisible?

Did I mention, it's so loud. The music is shit (not all the time) and everyone is yelling over it and over each other. A million conversations crossing through the room and I'm unable to keep track, let alone participate in, any single one.

So I just sit there, hoping I'm not making everyone else unconfortable. Except I probably am. Sucking the fucking life out of everyone in my close proximity. I bet I ruined the night for my friend. She's also an introvert and we're both awkward but for her things seemed to go smoother. So then whenever things went quiet I knew it was my fault. I know I should say something but I have no idea what.

Also, being around people my age, as healthy as it is, just makes me sick because it makes me realise just how detached I am socially. How behind I am on life and its just a reminder of my horrible lack of a romantic life.

Not that its really important. I wasnt going there to find anyone. But when you walk into a room and basically 95% of the people there are in a relationship, and all conversations are about who dated who, why x and y broke up, people asking for dating advice.

And upon entering the party, you get warned to look out for this cute guy, coz he's single and kind of needy and looking to latch onto someone, and then your friends notice how, yeah, he's clung onto every single girl at the party. Meanwhile, you havent even seen him. But thats just how my life is. Its not like I actually expected anyone here to suddenly fall in love with me. (I really didn't. But it still heard to hear that)

Idk it was a stupid punch in the gut.

Oh and the fucking pictures. There was constantly someone snapping pictures with exteeme flash scaring the shit out of me and making me so fucking cinscious of everything I was doing and how I looked. And on one side of course it would be nice to have them as a memory keepsake and being one of those kids that never wanted to pose for pictures i get now that it is a bit of a shame, but still, when i hate how i look why would i want that to be memorialised in extremely unflattering light, around stranger and for all of them to see later too. [Actually getting sick just thinking about it]

Anyway, a few hours went by and I made some small talk. There were moments of niceties among the awkward silences and staring ahead in a dissociated state.

But the longer it went on, the more I just felt like crying and I grew so much more aware of my soul sucking presence. Coz fuck am I cockblocking my bestie over here by clinging onto her to have someone, anyone to talk to? I totally am bumming everyone out arent I? If thats even if they notice me of course.

But it still feels early to leave and the FOMO kicks in. As if I wouldc actually participate or make part out of anything that could happen tonight. I cant do it anymore.

So I left, and cried on the way home, and now i'm crying while writing this and just feel so pathetic and ugly and dump and incredibly alone.

[Rant over]

[voidselfshipp]

Past meeting of the future.

Cw: talk about bad households, alcohol.

Summary: loki accompanies thor to a music festival...and meet somebody weaved into his future.

->Only mutuals allowed to reblog. @bloocanary

Why he had agreed to this...who knows.

Loki despised this mortal clothes,they were nothing compared to the fine tailoring of Asgard. He hated the sticky air of the heat,humid and awful...

But here they were

Humans called this a music festival. Where performers from all around the world came to play and show off their music and creations. Thor was here for the drinks and music,The others had their reasons. The trickster wasnt here for anything but tagging along.

--Well,talk About tall,dark and handsome-- Nico said,her eyes flashing pale as a vehicle passes by her and her friend. She nodds towards the dark haired Man. She leaned on the bar of a drink stall,a glass in her hand.

--Oh,well hello-- Lazaro answered,he held a simple coke.-- hes pretty. But he doesnt seem to be having much fun

That,was an understatement.

--Brother! Come!--They see a blond Man,dressed in almost medieval clothes. Tall,strong blonde and blue eyed. He hugs the black haired Man and drags him along. 

Both "humans" whistle at the sight

--Dibs on the brooding one-- Laz said.

--All yours-- Nico answered, taking a sip from her drink-- I think they might be here to see Windrose

--Judging by the look of his clothes,yeah.

Thor dragged his brother into sensles, utterly drunk,conversation. He rolls his eyes but plays along,Rather here than anywhere else...

An hour must go by before his ears hear the loud ring of something sharp and electric. His head turns fast to over his shoulder, he sees two people dancing to some sort of tune with drums, a low dronning pluck of strings and another thats sharp as a Knife and hits as hard as Thor's hammer.

The woman has a reddish brown hair, fluffy like a moth's cape. Two strands of hair,Like antennae bounce as she dances. She wore big,round glasses of red,and she dressed in florals. Despite wearing a cardigan,she doesnt seem to be sweating.

But the Man however,oh good Odin.

The Man was about 5'6, Brown and gold hair tied in a brow,baby hairs moved with their dancing. Green eyes sparkled with joy. His face was heart shaped,pale skin,with side burns, moustache and a bit of hair on his chin. He wore blacks,spiked clothes and tall and thick boots that dug into the Mud.

Oh,what a sight

--Well,look at that -- vandral said, a smile on his face.

--Dont you dare -- loki said,jealousy in his tone. He puts an arm out,stopping his fellow asgardian.

--Oh? Is that jealousy ?

--Shut your mouth-- the prince said before he marched to the pair.

About half way into his walk through the Mud, he soon realizes that he has no clue what hes going to say or anything. But he knows hes in deep when the red haired woman looks at him,then at her friend and nudges Him.

Nico nodds at the Man approaching, his walk is filled with intent,charm but also doubt. He hesitates with each step, but he tries to hide it with how his head is held high. Laz waves her off and both just Keep grooving

Vandral gets thors attention to watch this utter shit show.

--Excuse me,sir-- Loki said with a smile,laced with charm-- I'm Loki,nice to meet you-- he offered his hand with flair, his palm up.

Lazaro looked at the Man,the pale eyes,the dark clothes and hair and towering over him. He feels his heart flutter. "Oh my god,hes asking me?!" The harpy thought.

--Im Lazaro,call me laz-- he answered,taking his hand-- Loki..like the Norse god of mischief?

--Indeed-- Loki's eyes sparkled with this little glint if pride. He brings the Mans hand to his lips and kisses the knuckles. Lazaro face goes bright red and Nico snickers-- I couldnt help but be blown away by your radiance, though the music is not to my taste.

--Its a music festival. You cant not expect some rock music

So thats what its called.

--Maybe yes-- the black haired Man said-- May I steal you away from your friend for a while?

Lazaro quickly waved off his friend,as descreetly as an elephant in a ballroom. Its then Thor joins, a big,goofy smile on his face

--I do not mean to interrupt, My name is thor-- He said,looking at Nico-- May I borrow you miss..?

--Nico - Nico blackburn. -- nico stuttered, her hair puffing up.

--Miss blackburn?

She nodded and gave her friend the equivalent of "fuck you im out of here" in the form of a look and ran off with the tall blonde.

--Now that thats settled...-- Loki offered his arm. Laz takes it and begins to walk through the buffet area. Mud under their boots and clear skies above..

--So..thor and loki. Your moms a norse mythology geek?--Laz asked.

--Im sorry,geek?

--Ah,well. Means fan, fond of 

--Something like that,yes-- He answered with a nodd. His curls bounce as he moves his head -- Though your name has a nice ring to it. 

Lazaro laughed and thanked him,feeling his harpy nature ruffle up and act all coy.

--What band are you here to watch,by the way?--Laz asked-- Your brother seems like a big Windrose fan.

Loki didnt know what Windrose was,but he nodded-- Yes,him and his friends. I just came here to make sure none of them wreck this place. As I understand it its odd that festivals sell alcohol.

--This one is the exception as I understand it, too. I dont drink,not much at least...

--Being drunk is not much fun. At least in my experience-- the other Man answered,gesturing at a particular very much not sober crowd nearby-- My brother calls it liquid courage,I call it stupidity in a bottle.

Lazaro laughed,a big belly laugh warm as a Summers breeze that kisses the Prince's heart with such joy. He laughs too,and cant help but lean closer. He wants to be closer.

--Thats a very accurate assesment. -- Harpy agreed-- we couldnt settle on who would drive back home so Neither Nico Or I am drinking much tonight.

--And what 'Bands' are you here to see?

He knew none of the bands listed, but he was happy to hear him talk. Their little walk around the Venue proved to be fun and lighthearted, they shared Many things in common. Humor,personality,opinions...

--Its funny,actually-- Laz said softly, both had found a way to get up to the higher seats. There where only the VIPS could get. Loki has a silver tongue-- You speak of your brother...and I cant help but remember my own siblings. I have three on my dads side...though I dont speak to him anymore.

That inkling was enough for him to ask about it. The talk grows deep, theres not much detail shared other than what the relationship was like...

Loki felt his heart squeeze,he knew the pain. When he shares his own life,though hes weary as he always is,he sees his companion soften in their demeanor and bring him in for a tight hug

He freezes up,he feels their warmth kiss him. He slowly hugs back,though the only person to ever embrace him fully was his mother.

--Im sorry...your dad is missing out on such a sweet son.

--...thank you.

Its then Lazaro senses how cold his friend is. His eyes Open and he begins to rubb the Mans arms.

--Gods,youre freezing-- He murmured.

--Its okay...--Loki said softly,Pushing him awat slightly-- I run naturally cold..its alright

--You'll get sick-- he shrugged off his vest and draped it over him.

The scent of deep cologne wraps around him soothingly. The kisses of jasmine and green Apple, the warmth that overtakes Him...

--Youre...too kind-- loki whispered-- Allow me to accompany you during your uhm...attendance?

--Yeah,of course. Id love your company. -- the Prince cant help the fluttering of his chest or how he cuddles closer.

And so he tags along for each performance. He finds some of the bands nice,others unbearable and hes even surprised as Laz is jumping up and down and waving his hand around with laughter and joy. Hes even pulled in to join and he lets it happen because hes with a good Man, Someone trustworthy.

By the end of the venue, Both are two peas in a pod. Even Nico is reluctant to let go of thor.

Here is the worst part.

--Heres my number,call me-- Laz always carried a pen and paper with him for art purposes..and this. "Please" he thought.

--We Will see eachother again-- Loki promised,taking his hands--You drive safe. --His lips kissed his cheek,and slowly let go of his hands and left with his brother.

It doesnt take long before Nico jumped on him and shook Lazaro around like a maraca. Both scream and laugh together,making both brothers chuckle at the sounds as both leaves.

Loki Will return to earth,sooner or later,for Lazaro.

[onlyjaeyun]

ZADIEEEEE MY LOVEEEE 🤍🤍🤍😙😙 u didnt ask but i actually read chapter 28 twice now 😭🤣😭🤣🤣😭🤣 strictly business is my coping mechanism fr like a little treat for after i finish my uni work for the day

let me tell u that i was GAGGED SO BAD WHEN I SAW UR LITTLE SPOILERS FOR THE CHAP. my jaw was ON THE GROUND. im so glad u wrote jongseong in the way you do like i was so proud he came 100% clean w yn about what he did. he knew what was on the line but still went through with it because he knew yn deserves to know the truth and he was willing to let her potentially hate him and leave him forever like 😭😭😭 that shit broke me 😭😭😭 & honestly if i were yn i wouldve probably reacted the same way because even though what jay did wasnt morally right, id still feel comforting to know that there is someone out there that cares this much about me, especially with yn's family background. & even though yn would realistically take a while to fully forgive him regarding this matter she probably knows deep down that he did it out of love 🥹

moving on to the smut 🫢 i also loved how we can see how much jay truly treasures yn through the way you write like even though he'd LOVED to do it with yn, he still put her and her feelings first & like u've said "didn't want to seem like he's taking an advantage of her" 🥹🥹🥹🥹 and then the ACTUAL SMUT CAME. ngl i was NOT EXPECTING IT TO HAPPEN IN THIS CHAP. u truly gagged me once again. i LOVE LOVE LOVED that and to see how soft jay is w yn truly made my heart soar 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

its truly amazing how you execute ur writings and i cant wait to see how sb will continue 🤍 *ur lil forehead kiss*

the way i read this at work and have been thinking about it since is just 🥺 thank you SO much for taking the time out of your day to swnd me this baby, i genuinely appreciate you so much. knowing you enjoy strictly business this much feels so relieving and motivating 🥺

and pls i was so unsure about whether or not to have him come clean all in at once but then felt like it was fitting for his charcter so im glad you enjoyed it!🥺 and pls believe me when i say i was so close to writing a dry humping scene but decided to go with full on smut just bc i know it makes things a little angstier 🫣 thank you sm baby am so happy you liked it, pls accept my kisses 🥺🩷

[applesapplesappless]

i agree that L is smarter than light but the “hed lose without the death note” arguments to undermine light has always seemed so stupid to me. L is the best (top 3) detective in the world with like billions (?) of dollars at his disposal, access to all kinds of things like surveillance cams, highly skilled people to help him out (wedy and aiber), the task force, FBI, the ability to broadcast on international television, inmates, FBI files which led to him pinning down ray penber as kiras likely target, high tech security, etc. a lot of his deductions were made with information aquired using these resources and he would most likely not have reached them as quickly if he didnt have access to them. if L had won, i could argue that he wouldnt have won without these things but frankly whats the point in that?

while misa was helpful in the end, she also heavily incriminated him and gave him some disadvantages too and misas eyes werent even useful in killing L because she forgot his name. light was operating on the belief that misa was going to get herself caught and that was exactly what happened. rem threatened to kill him should he kill her but misa was a huge threat to him as someone unreliable who could give him away. she revealed the existence of shinigami and her making a broadcast before the last date on her diary entry gave away that she met kira in aoyama and gave L some nice circumstancial evidence that light had done a decent job avoiding atp as most of Ls suspicion came from profiling.

she would do things like see him in public even though he told her it could lead to both of them being killed and mogi ended up seeing her because of this. this also put some more suspicion on light because his relation to her was now made known and it didnt work in his favor when she was apprehended as the second kira. then rem wanted to kill him when misa was captured and he was assigned with the task of getting her out of some deep shit. the plan involved the task force getting their hands on the notebook which was what gave L much more information so he could start piecing together how light carried out his crimes.

in the end he needed to manipulate misa into a situation where rem would be forced to kill L to protect her but where it would also prolong her lifespan and kill rem in the process to avoid being killed himself so its not like the win was just handed to him. he even went through the trouble of having rem and ryuk switch ownership because he needed misa to make the eye deal again so rem would see her lifespan ticking down and he knew rem wouldnt let her make the deal. he planned for this whole trick all the way back before he erased his memory. id say misa gave him a lot of disadvantages that put him in a position where L was very close to figuring him out but was also the ultimate key in the end to disposing of L right before he latched onto them.

im not really sure who would win tbh. i cant see L coming up with murder notebooks and shinigami out of thin air and if it wasnt for misa then he wouldnt know about any of those things. lights pretty good at not leaving behind actual evidence but Ls also good at hiding his name so it really depends on how far you think they can get on their own. misa basically broke the stalemate

light wasn't smarter than L he just had the advantage of a deathnote, and misa and her shinigami eyes.

if he didn't have either of those L would've won

[rogueddie]

I am sorry for my rambling. I have a thing about Steve and pain. Like.

Steve most likely learned to ignore his pain because his parents never acknowledged them. They barely even acknowledge him, so he's terrible at gauging how bad anything is. By his standards, if he's walking, he should be okay.

And then Steve can sorta understand he's not okay from watching others in the Party, but doesn't ask for help because, one, he never learned how to, two, he doesn't think he deserves it. I adore Robin but I always flinch a little when she calls a man who's been tortured an asshole right after said torture and Steve just. Lets her.

I don't blame her because they were coming off a truth serum but man. Steve's reaction. Barely anything. Just a matter of truth to him, however painful. In his mind, he is still the asshole, so better for him to suffer than others. Like, what's more pain to him? It's just more paint. He takes it and walks it off. Actually, worse, he throws himself into more danger.

And if you rewatch season one, Steve isn't as terrible as others make him out to be. He says some heartless shit, sure, and he never does anything further than admonishing Tommy and Carol when they get cruel. But he was a kid, a teenager, surrounded by people who enabled the worst of his habits and no parents to teach him any better, he (and others) should cut him some slack. He does not. He fights tooth and nail to protect others, but he has no pity for himself. He doesn't ask for gratitude. He kind of. Breaks my heart.

Okay, rambling over. I will no longer spam your askbox, thank you for having me.

no no ramble more it gives me an excuse to ramble myself and there's nothing I love more than just rambling adfgfdsa

the thing about steve learning to ignore his pain bc his parents never acknowledged him? ouch but also- what if it leaves him convinced that he can just sleep any injury off and be fine? he's sure that it'll be fine eventually, just give it time. but that's how he ends up with permanent, long-term issues? because he keeps putting it off until it's too late to actually do anything to help prevent it?

and robin? the calling him an asshole thing is way worse than you're making it sound. she wasn't on truth serum, she was just stressed and probably hysterical. it's entirely understandable, she probably went through heavy shit herself, but that wasn't her under the influence of anything.

its just worse that his dialogue really shows how deep that 'bullshit' speech cut him and how he's clearly not healed from that. its why he accepts the insult so easily, doesnt seem to doubt that robin means hes still an asshole.

and season 1 steve is my baby. only because people go so hard on him, he really wasnt that bad. not good by any means but he's not what people say. so he's my baby now and I will bite anyone who comes at him.

[pfft-me]

Rise Leo x Female Reader

So Im back at it again with the one shot. Again I chose to go with female reader, but i can also do gn and male readers. Again forgive me for any ooc in regards to Leo. I had also written this at like 2 am. I also have a headcannon that the turtles like to bite. Like at random times their gums start hurting so they usually have matching chew toys. I also picture reader as a diamondback terrapin.

April

Leo

Draxum

I hid under my sheet in the comfort of my dark and cool room. I hadnt seen the outside world for some time, though its not like I can anyways. After a butched mission with the boys I hadnt even thought of anything else but hiding. We had been fighting Draxum for what feels like 100th time, and he had gone to attack April. I pushed her out of the way and was caught instead of her. The gang was threatening Draxum but apparently he didnt care as usual and injected me with some ooze. All I remember was gagging because I could feel the stuff go through my blood stream. Draxum had been cackling but stopped because I hadnt mutated like he wanted.

"What, why arent you mutated?"

I shrugged "maybe you had bad ooze" Raph and Leo then start to beat up Draxum for touching me. I suddenly felt sick and didnt want to be there. "April take me home!" I whined as she pat my back.

"Hey babe are you ok?" Leo touched my shoulder triggering something in me. I pushed him away and started feeling dizzy "Babe?"

I fell unconscious after that and woke up in bed. I knew I was different. I could physically tell that I was and with some knowledge of how the ooze works thanks to Donnie. I mustve been mutaed to a turtle. I thrash and turn in bed not wanting to be awake, but alas my stomach betrayed me. I sat up letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. I grab my phone wincing as it turned on. The screen was full of messages from the boys and april. Along with some other friends and family. I just scrolled through the messages not bothering to answer since I wasnt in the mood. I walked into my living room, flicking on the small fairy lights around the room. It was more comforting than the actual light. A new message popped in from Leo asking if he could come over. I sighed sending him a quick "sure, bring food" I quickly call up April hoping to feel a bit better.

"Hey girl! Its been a while are you ok?"

"Ive, ive been better" i spoke softly. My throat hurt a bit and my body was overall sore. "Did you bring me home?"

"Yeah I did, and no i havent seen you since then, also did you mutate?" I nodded but realized she wouldnt see me. "Ill take that as a yes. Nami do you think you can look in a mirror?"

"I dont want to. Im scared. Shit Leo is coming over, April what do I do?! Hes gonna freak out!" I started panicking.

"Hey, hey, hey, he loves you! No matter what you look like and I mean you did fall for him and hes also a turtle" she laughed causing me to chuckle. A knock came from my window alerting me that he was here.

"I have to go, thank you"

"Anytime!" With that we hung up.

The knocks came again and my name was faintly spoken. I took a deep breath and walking into my still dark room. The fairy lights in the living room gave it a small glow just enough for me to see. I peek through the curtains a bit and there Leo was. He held some italian food making me smile. I slowly opened the curtain, letting him in, but hid behind the cloth.

"Babe what wrong? Why is it so dark in here?" He walked into the kitchen, quickly putting the food down on the counter. I walked up to the door frame my body still partially hidden. "Nami?"

"I, you, you love me right?"

He quirked his non existent eyebrow "of course I do. Come here and eat" he motioned with his hand for me to come closer.

"Leo, im not the same"

"Uh clearly," i winced a bit at his sarcastic remark. He noticed me pulling back into the room and sighed. He walked over placing his hands on my shoulders, then slid them down my arms, causing me to shiver. He took my hands into his and kissed them. "Im sorry," i blinked at him "im sorry I couldnt stop Drax from doing this to you. I know that this change is huge and you wont have a normal life anymore. Youll have to go into hiding like the rest of us and if im being honest. I couldnt stop feeling guilty. When you pushed me away I knew i triggered the mutation. Im so so sorry. I sometimes think about how i shouldve never asked you to be mine"

I pull my hands away and grip his biceps "dont you ever say that! Dont you ever wish anything but for us to be together! I love you! You love me! Something like this isnt gonna change that. Sure my body is sore as hell and i really need to bite something, but that besides the point" leo smiles at my last comment. "Actually seriously why do i have the need to bite so bad right now" i massage my jaw a bit.

He laughed and pulled out a green chew toy. I look at him unimpressed "it happens more than you think. We each have one and I thought youll may need one too. Why do you think I always bite your shoulder?"

I took the toy from him and bit into it. I hummed and continued to bite it as Leo pulled me into the kitchen. He pulled me into a hug as I happily chewed on the toy. "Youre so cute oh Mi gosh and look at your shell, so beautiful!" He brushed his hand against my shell causing me to pull away. "Oops"

"It super sensitive, even more so now dang it!" I pulled some pasta out of the bag and dug into it.

"Hey that means you can now train with us sometimes. We can help you get used to being totally awesome like moi" he flipped his non existent hair.

"Imma speak with Donnie first"

He groaned "my not so awesome brother? Why?"

I shrugg "just to do a quick physical"

"Hey! Im the medic in the family let me do the physical" he laid his head on my shoulder

I giggled "you get too physical if you know what i mean" i fed him some pasta and watched he ate it with a pout. He hummed then remained quiet as I occasionally would feed him. I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my head. I felt him shift a bit to kiss my neck, causing me to flinch. "Yes?"

"Nothing, youre just really beautiful" if i were human i wouldve been flushed red, but I guess having green skin helps with that. "Can we just cuddle? I dont want to share you just yet" he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Aw honey youre so small"

"Shut up Leon, lemme eat" i moved on to the next dish. "I will bite you"

"Ooh please do, ouch" i bit down on his shoulder , of course not super hard, but just enough to quench my need. "Oh its not that bad" he then preceeded to bite my shoulder. I shivered letting out a weird rumble.

"What was that?" Leo bit me again and the sensation happened once again "leo stop tell me"

He laughed "its an equivalent to a cat purr when theyre happy or well needy" he smirked at me and I just shoved his face away "hey come on~ Im educating you here"

"Teachers don't flirt with students" i stuck my tongue at him.

"But boyfriends do flirt with their girlfriends" he kissed my cheek.

"you are being needy and touchy. Whats up?" I look at him with worried eyes.

He just shrugged "i havent seen you in a while. I just miss having you around is all. I love you a lot"

I smiled softly, pecking his beak. "You are such a loving turtle~ How could i ask for anything more?"

"Of course im the best turtle, strongest hero, dashing brother, loving boyfriend, and-"

"Greatest champion. My champion" he flushed red hiding hia face into my neck causing me to chuckle "never change Leo, never change.