#If it doesnt bring the tone back to the middle its usually because the next vowel is of the same curve

[sevastiel]

So I was listening to the new Warframe Isleweaver soundtrack, and this song in particular REALLY caught me.

We dont currently have any instances of violin/viola that I can think of in warframes sound track that are that prevalent, and I was like, hmm. It uses Duviri's/the drifter's theme, but not in the regular way, and other than that its all over the place, its Kinda... lacking in regulation. It's highs and lows and oh my god its Thrax, isnt it.

Anyway. Now there's an image in my head of Thrax playing what I'm currently thinking of as a 5 string violin/viola combo that'd cover the whole register here, and atm I'm oscillating btween violinthi and vilthiari

(Vinthiri? Vilitha? vilithis? Violiri? Viliri? Violara? its gotta sound similar to how it would sound to play, while keeping the vi bit.)

[oriigirii]

Streamer MC headcannons with the brothers 💞

"You were quite a known face on social media back in the human realm, playing games, doing unboxings, just vibin in general, fans around the globe looked forward to your streams a lot! However, considering the sudden (unannounced) invitation to the exchange program, you had to leave all of that behind out of the blue. It wasn't as bad at first, but you have to admit you do miss the feeling of being able to do goofy shit online. Luckily for you, with the advance technology of Devildom and some spicy magic, the internet had synced with the human realm, and thats when you decided to finally re-enter the streaming scene. How will the brothers react upon seeing your peculiar past time?"

Head empty, No thoughts aside from the brothers just bothering the MC while they stream so here you go haha

Warnings: None, just crackhead energy and a lotta mispellings

Gender: Neutral!

Hotel: Trivago

* [ ಠ╭╮ಠ ] Lucifer *

{How did he know about your career?}

I honestly don't see him as someone who goes on the internet a lot

(He screams boomer to me, change my mind)

He doesn't have the time either, he's too focused on work!

So him finding out is gonna take a while

But! He did find out the hard way when shrilled screaming was heard from your room when he was passing by with some paper stacks in his arms (courtesy of Diavolo)

This man felt his instincts kick in, he ran as fast as he could, papers forgotten, and he immediately slammed your door open. Splinters scattering around, your door definitely damaged, as his eyes held a glare and his demon form was out, wings spread in a threatening display.

He was ready to beat someone's ass as he had thought someone had hurt you in here.

But all hes met with is you, infront of your chair and PC, and a game over on the screen...

To say he was unamused was an understatement cause you just lost your internet priviliges for giving him a heart attack (He said it was because you were being rowdy and noisy but with what you saw you knew that wasn't the case)

Good luck tryna puppy-eye your way to his heart to let you continue streaming lol.

If by some miracle you managed to wriggle your rights back from his hands, he'd warn you not to be so loud next time.

You already learnt your lesson though~ (Hopefully)

{How does he feel about your streams?}

Not everyone's the same, so if you were the shy soft streamer who does more art streams or something akin to a podcast, you can bet that Lucifer will be putting you on while he works, he kinda knows your streaming schedule at this point and if you were running late, he'd force one of his brothers to take over your dish washing duties or any chores you were stuck with

If you were the loud obnoxious meme type, hed still try to watch out of curiosity, and as much as he appreciates that you were getting comfortable here in Devildom with how you laugh and joke around, he still can't approve of it. Its too loud, its much like his brothers energy and he has enough of that already, so he probably doesn't watch as much.

He has countlessly came to your room to shush you and at this point your fans had made a compilation of each time Lucifer had barged in to tell you off

Look he likes it when you scream, but not when hes in the middle of work okay--

At this point, chat has deemed Lucifer as dad and you as their mom/dad.

If he ever catches wind of this he'd definitely be teasing you in private for centuries to come.

Overall fine with it, as long as don't do something stupid on stream.

* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Mammon*

{How did he know about your career?}

I would say he found out by him crashing into your streams midway but that's too predictable, hence why you've Mammon-proofed your bedroom during streaming hours!

Thanks to our wizard daddy, you have managed to cast a simple lock spell on your door and as well as a sound proofing

You love your broke idiot, but you did wanna keep the tone of your stream today a bit more chill, you wanted to have a proper Q&A with your fans to hopefully clear any bad vibes around your 3 month disappearance.

When Mammon has learnt your door was locked he definitely was a bit pissy, he knocked on your door loudly even and was calling out for you to let him in, but to no avail.

Bro he's scared.

He usually was allowed to enter, and you usually answered if you did need to be left alone for a bit, so just leaving him hanging got his mind racing and he had to press up his ear on the wooden door to try and hear if you were okay

When this continues on he finally resorts to getting help, but the only one in the house ws Levi, so he kicks down HIS door.

Levi boutta summon Lotan for interrupting him honestly

But as Mammon exclaim you weren't answering and he worried for your wellbeing, Levi rolls his eyes and scoffs,

"Idiot Mammon, they're streaming don't bother them…"

Streaming? why didn't you tell him???

Rude much.

He did huff and now was forcing his way to use Levi's PC for a moment

Can Levi stop him?

Nah.

He was busy on his console, and if he stood up now hed be breaking his world record so he was at a terrible state so he just resorts to threats of him drowning the Avatar of Greed if he does anything stupid on his PC.

He immediately logs in to your streaming platform and he watches for a bit,

You were more dolled up now just to look decent on stream, and he felt this jealousy rise as you interact with your chat, especially to those saying I love you's and stuff, and you even said it back? the audacity! You were his werent you? Were you replacing him with these nobodies?

He huffs as he realized that those who paid got their message highlighted, and thus, he starts donating. (Mind you this was Levi's account...)

"Mcccccc Open the dooorrr"

"Ill behave i promiseeeee"

"Cmon pleaseeee?"

Chat is c o n f u s i o n

NGL, they thought Mammon was a creepy stalker and red flags were being waved everywhere

but as chat was pondering who the hell he was, you can only sigh and look at the camera with that unamused expression, but ugh! you just KNOW hes doing that kicked puppy expression of his, and maybe it really wont be so bad

So you snap your fingers and say, "Okay MonMon, its open, Im giving you 3 seconds"

Mammon wasnt deemed to be the fastest out of his brothers for nothing

As soon as you got to '2', you were already tackled by the white haired male and chat went wild.

Now that you've shown your life in Devildom, maybe its time to introduce chat to your boyfriend no?

{How does he feel about your streams?}

You get paid to sit infront of a camera, do I have to say anything else?

But really though, as much as he enjoys the thought of getting so much cash from something so simple, he prefers the joy of being able to proudly exclaim that he was your first man!

ohhhh he thrives on the salt of your overly attached stans

but for those who fully support you, he always feels so mushy and shy when they say the ship you guys so hard

The fanarts has him WEAK (he may or may not have saved a few)

You usually do streams alone, but now you've allowed the door to be left open to let Mammon join whenever

Chat pogs when he enters with so much confidence, only for it to crumble when you kiss his cheek on stream.

Overall finds it fun to spend time with you, but just dont play scary games cause Lucifer might hang him upside down on stream.

* ▘▂▝ Leviathan*

{How did he know about your career?}

He is honestly the most attached to his D.D.D and he catches wind of almost anything going down in the internet, so your 'revival' being hyped up was something he definitely saw and he was just s wo o o ned

His Henry 2.0? a famous streamer?

Were you truly a blessing gifted upon him or was he dreaming?

He definitely didn't bring it up at first as he didn't wanna make it a big deal, but you notice hes been more in his head lately, and you have tried asking him what it was but to no avail.

You have to corner this little snake if you want answers and he eventually admits that he knew of your persona online and was incredibly shy to ask you to stream with him

He's a streamer himself afterall but maybe he doesnt stream as much as you do nor does he have as large of a following, so his intrusive thoughts attacked him and made him think that maybe since he wasnt as famous he didnt deserve to be in the same stream as you

Please tell him to join you and gib him kiss U3U

He'll absolutely m e l t

But now, as you make the announcement to your viewers and Levi to his, the internet explodes as a special collab stream was hapening between the expert gamer and avatar of envy of Devildom along with the beloved exchange student and streamer of the human realm

Your usual viewers reach between 10-15k, but as you start stream, that number boosts higher and beyond

Before streaming though, Levi was incredibly nervous, he'd picked the games for you to play that he knew you would enjoy with him, but his mind kept racing about whatthe fans thought, he didnt wanna disappoint them

But you had to remind him that whatever they say will not matter in the end as this was merely for fun, this was YOUR stream and you guys were gonna do what you want and nobody can have a say on it. (Maybe except Lucifer)

You usually talk for him with your bubbly personality, and to calm his nerves, he hs your pinky wraped around his where the camera can't see it.

Regardless, his thoughts subsided as you two delve into your stream that lasted a solid 7 hours, you definitely promised your chat that you and Levi will be doing more streams together from now on.

Once the cameras cut and yall are left alone, Both of you collapse on bed, and despite you being asleep already, Levi was just far too giddy as everything dwells on him.

Having a player 2 by his side now had never felt so intoxicating and he as just so lucky to have you.

{How does he feel about your streams?}

He obviously adores it, although some streams he wouldnt join just so he can play games on his own

He's still an introvert afterall, he needs his alone time

But he prefers that alone time with you, his Henry.

So when youre about to go stream, he kinda becomes a bit pouty, but with a simple promise of kisses (and maybe even more if youd like) he would let you go, but his attention would disappear from his game altogether.

He might just end up watching you instead

May or may not, at some point, just chat you and ask if its too late to join you

You do allow him to join you and play from the comforts of his room as both of you can simply play via internet, you give him the comfort to not turn on his mic or webcam either and you have no idea how he appreciates that.

Will definitely fight someone online when they start claiming you as theirs (-cough- stans) Please make sure it doesnt escalate to him summoning Lotan

Although the comments would often get to him, and as much as he can fight them online, he still does find himself pondering if they were true, so you need to give him a lotta lovin and reminder that he is your player 1 and no one else can ever fill that place.

------

Wow 3 brothers this time, what an improvement, anyways hope yall enjoy! I think its pretty clear who I simp for depending o nthe length of each lol, but do let me know if you guys want a part 2 for the rest of the brothers, or even the undateables!

[tomsrebeleyebrow]

I got a blurb ideaa what if tom and reader are quarantining together and the reader still works from home but Shes been getting so busy lately. So tom notices one day how extremely tired she is and pulls her away for an hour just to cuddle and let her sleep and tried to help her with her work even though he doesnt understand it and its so soft and everything 😩😩

A/N: another soft request to cheer us up during the lockdown, thanks nonnie 😌 but don’t overdo yourself too much, okay guys? 🥺 take care but mostly, stay safe sweetheart 💖💗

‘Stay safe, Cheer up’ blurb event

When the lockdown was the opportunity for some people to finally have a break by working from home, you, on the other hand, saw it as a stressful situation you just didn’t need at the moment.

You were assigned home by your company for an undetermined time, but with that came an amount of paper work that consisted in your daily basis’ tasks and more since our society has been turned upside down at the moment. And now, the kitchen counter was covered with all these papers and your laptop lost in the middle, while files and binders were piled up close by and trying not to fall on the ground.

Your eyes never left the bright screen as your fingers typed up at a tireless rhythm for what seemed like forever now. The usual seven hours a day slowly turned into nine or ten hours of working, allowing you a short break of five minutes when you didn’t forget about it.

But now, this has been going for three- no, four weeks. Dark rings under your eyes were part of your everyday makeup, deeply carved as your entire body was screaming tiredness. But you had no intention to stop. The more you do now and less you’ll have to do next, you repeated yourself but by now, it sounded just stupid and impossible.

Tom tried many times to take you away from your “working mode” but you kept pushing him away saying you were fine and just needed to finish the things you started before it got out of control. But as the days passed, you were slowly being cadged into an endless tornado of numbers and emails to complete.

But this madness had to stop today because Tom couldn’t take seeing you like that anymore.

As you were sitting on a high stole by the kitchen counter, as usual by now, Tom slowly approached you from behind while trying not to make a sound. You suddenly let a squeal out, your back straightening as you felt a pair of familiar hands resting on your shoulders and lightly rubbing circles.

“Tom! What-”

Pretty soon his thumbs pressed on the right places, which were damn knotted with all the stress and fatigue you accumulated during the last weeks. And as if your body was expecting this to happen, all your muscles relaxed at once, arms falling along your sides and shoulders going floppy. Tom swore he almost caught a moan leave your mouth after a sigh.

“Gosh, that’s heaven right there” you breathed, closing your eyes as Tom kept pressing onto some nerves close to your nape.

“You definitely need some well deserved break, baby and I mean a REAL long break” claimed your boyfriend while kissing your temple. “Come on, save and close that demonic machine and let’s take a nap.”

“But Tom, I need to send this-”

“No ‘but’, missy” Tom cut you off, “now is nap time for you, come on I’m waiting.”

“Jeez, being all bossy as if you own the place...”

“This is, in fact, my house and as the master of this place, I declare it’s nap time!”

Not letting you say another word, Tom somehow managed to lift you up from your work spot - not without bumping his foot or/and yours in the stole while doing so -, to then walk towards the couch, both of you giggling at his clumsiness. Your boyfriend sat you there gently before joining next to you, his arm sliding around your shoulders to bring you close to him. Not resisting anymore, you gladly snuggled against his toned body as your eyes automatically began to close.

“Rest well, darling.”

In the end, you and Tom slept for a solid hour that afternoon and when you woke up, slumped on top of him, it was like you rested for an entire day. Your body didn't ache that much anymore and your eyes were finally free from the blue light they compiled.

Later that same day, you still decided to finish the work you started sooner but not more as Tom wanted to treat you to some homemade cake with tea - and because you didn’t really trust that boy in the kitchen, today’s work will be cut short to save the house. And Tom had the brilliant idea to propose his help to make you finish quicker.

“Christ, how in the world do you understand these tables? I can’t even guess about what they’re about!” your boyfriend exclaimed with a confused look, his hands full of some papers you asked him to organise.

“Don’t look at them too much or you’ll get a headache” you giggled at him while tapping quickly an email. “Just put them into the folder-”

“Which one, already?”

“Jeez, the blue one, movie star...” you mumbled, trying to contain a laugh.

“Oi! I’m not a big brain like you, okay? So bear with me!!” almost whined Tom.

“I know, I’m joking” you finally laugh at your boyfriend’s pouty face. “Thank you, Tommy.”

“My pleasure, baby.”

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[drbriangay]

Hey, so a little bit ago someone asked me if i would do a tutorial type thing on how to achieve realistic drawings and although this would probably fair better as a video my voice is shit and i can make sure i get everything down if i type it out.

I think the best way to do this is take you through one of my drawings? My latest Brian drawing i saved a decent amount throughout it so i can kind of comment on each process of the drawing. For the this drawing i drew it on Photoshop CS5 which is important bc i do utilise a lot of the tools there so if you use smth different then im sorry but im sure there are alternatives! I’m going to talk you through this drawing:

Because i dont use natural skin colours in my drawings i start drawings in black and white because i find that easier to control the tones? and then i can colour the drawing afterwards in whatever colour and play about with it instead of sticking with a colour from the get go. 

I start with painting the entire background a light ish grey because 1) its nice to work highlights and shade into a mid tone and 2) having pure white as a background can be a bit uninspiring? even with my sketchbooks i always make backgrounds before i do anything on them.

I then take a large brush, i use a mid-dark toned grey for this, i don’t like going in super dark super fast, and kind of mark out where everything goes super loosely, precision and proportions really don’t matter at this point, it will probably look bad but that’s fine! you’ll refine it as you go on!  the brush i use for this stage is usually just a soft non textured brush, but i don’t think the brush you use at this point really matters. My drawing will kind of look like this at this point:

I then go in with a smaller brush with a darker colour and kind of refine the face a little bit, i really take in the shapes of the face i’m drawing and try and get a good base to then really work on the shading/highlighting. Again, although this is your base to work on the proportions aren’t super important, it may still look bad but whatever is wrong with it you can just draw right over it to correct it! This is why i try and not give up on drawings even if they aren’t going the way i’d like it to because you can always correct it! my drawings never look amazing when i start them but i like to work into them as much as i can and i usually end up with something i’m proud of! anyways lmao, this is what my drawing will look like at this point: 

This is when i start the proper like working into the drawing with highlighting and shading and things. I also change my brush at this point! Honestly any brush will do but i really like the aesthetic of having a super textured brush, I do sometimes change up my brush every so often but the brush ive been using more often than not is this brush:

Also at this point i try and not use pure black or pure white, if you’re trying to go for a realistic look then i feel pure white n black really don’t factor into a face.I also think if you use more mid tone colours then there’s more of a natural gradient? which looks more realistic i feel. Of course if you like the aesthetic of having a high contrast then go for it! this is just how i personally like to do it.

I know a lot of people work by gradually working the whole face, like do loose highlights and dark tones on the whole face and then refining it but i like to do each part of the face one by one and i usually always start with the nose, this isn’t important lmao i just enjoy drawing noses so it’s what i start with. i think the use of highlight is super important to utilise when drawing the nose because its what suggests form,, this is my drawing will look like at this point:

I do end up darkening the shadow on the right side of his nose and the bottom of his nose but i usually get to this point and then move on and then once i do more ill go back and try and bring more dimension to the drawing.

Also! one of the best tools on photoshop that you can utilise and in some of my drawings it’s my saving grace is the liquify tool. Basically if you do the drawing and get to a point it would be hard to paint over then u can use liquify, as i was doing other parts of the face i realised that the nose was supposed to be a little to the left and the eyebrows had to be lower down so you if you open up liquify you can just click and drag the nose to where you want it to be so:

it’s a super helpful tool that really helps you get the facial features exactly where you need it, i used it a couple times throughout this drawing. I don’t think sai has it but you can use the lasso tool and rotate it or whatever and just draw over the little break it makes in the canvas:

so the next thing i do is the eyes and eyebrows. I’m usually not the greatest at getting the exact eye shape but again, liquify is your best friend. An important thing to note is the angle of the eyebrows in relation to the middle of the nose, Brian’s eyebrows are quite straight so i tried to keep them that way. I also started darkening up the drawing, i didn’t quite go full black, the darkest colour i used is like just off black. This is what i have so far:

Also another important thing to remember is the lighting of the image, in the image the right side of his face is more shadowed so the shadow on the left side of his nose wont be as intense as the right side and things like the bags under his eye on the right side would be slightly more prominent. Also because of the brow bone, theres more highlight on top of the brows and usually a shadow underneath because the brows are more elevated and the eyes are sunken in a lil bit. There will be a lil bit of highlight on the inner corner of the eyes though. 

In the next part of the drawing i just add a little bit to the forehead and cheeks :

I think by this time i had adjusted a couple of things like the angle his face was at was a little bit too tiled in my original draw so i just free transformed it and fixed the angle and the face i think was a little bit too wide so i just pulled it in a little bit. I think another thing to remember that places like the cheeks and forehead wont be pure highlight, especially with like men and older faces there will be more subtleties, with Brian he has highlight on the top of his cheekbones but the highlight is kind of broken up with the line that comes down under his eye and the forehead isnt a smooth bump above the eyebrows, especially with the lighting of the image the highlights get broken up a little bit. 

The next drawing is a little fast forward, i forgot to save in between but ill try and talk through everything:

When finishing up I realised the left eye/eyebrow was a little too high so i liquified that baby up to bring it down just a little bit. Another thing i sometimes struggle with is getting the exact shape of the face and angle of the jaw but you can just keep on drawing on top of it until it looks vaguely right. 

For the lips and mouth i think its kind of just a matter of trying to get a sense of the shape, look at the cupids bow and the length between the top lip and the bottom of the nose and how far the lips come out in relation to the nose as well, i think as well the shadow underneath the bottom lip is usually all you need to suggest the shape of the lip, it doesnt look all too natural if theres like a solid like to show the shape of the lip, the top lip though, because of the way the light is sitting on his face is almost completely shadowed, so the highlight on the cupids bow that goes down to the edge of the mouth is what helps give the mouth form. With teeth because they’re in his mouth so they’re not going to be super bright so i didnt add any highlight to them and just used a dark tone to outline the shape of them at the bottom and used a little bit of shading in between them to differentiate between them. 

For the eyes i usually just leave them without the pupils because it’s my brand but it wasnt looking quite right to me so i added a little outline of the pupils, i didnt want to do the full pupil because i like adding a lil smth interesting in the eyes but i like the way they turned out!  

The jaw you can usually bring out with the shadow of the neck. I didnt really feel like drawing the outfit so i kind of just did a couple of lines so show that he was wearing a shirt with a collar.

 Also for brian because he has so much hair i more often than not just use flat colour for his hair and because his hair is so dark it usually works fine but with people like Roger who has lighter hair is doesnt usually work out well? especially with a more realistically drawn face. I was originally going to keep the entire background that colour but it wasnt looking quite how i wanted to. I coloured first though, and tbh my colouring process really doesnt take me that long, the longest part is just working out what colours id like to use and what looks good with the drawing I've made.

So for colouring i use the gradient tool, you have have a gradient thats two colours that will make your drawings look like this

but recently ive started using the gradients with three colours so the highlighted sections will be a different colour to the base colour, i really like the way this comes out, without any other editing itll look smth like this:

I like to play about with the settings a little bit because i do enjoy the way this looks but it’s kind of a bit overpowering and i think sometimes the details of the drawing can get lost when you overdo it a bit? 

If you go through this itll give you many different versions of that gradient and i like to go through it and see which i feel compliments the drawing

heres a couple examples

The one i ended up going for was dissolve but it was a bit too intense so i turned the opacity down to 57%

which gave it a kind of static feel which i was in to, to finish it up i added a tiny bit to show some shoulders and then i wanted to add a tiny bit of a background so i used a flat pinky colour and put that around his hair and then on top of the background i added a little bit more into the hair.

and added so more vibrant pink into it as well just to spice her up a little bit.

[cordytriestowrite]

Monday Mornings

Bucky x Reader

Previous Chapters

Summary: All you wanted to do was help the people of New York get through what had happened to them. But how were you supposed to help the man who just sat on your couch?

Bucky arrived promptly at six to your office the week following his abrupt departure. You half expected this to be the start of what you typically and ominously referred to as The Departure. You had seen it before, a client would leave early or arrive late for a few more sessions before never returning, avoiding phone calls and emails checking in on their wellbeing that would have to morph into unpaid bill notices and threats of collection agencies. You hated reaching that point, usually reminding yourself not to take it personally, it was just business after all, but rarely could you separate yourself from the situation and think of your services as simply transactional. When Bucky had left it took until he stepped through your door the following week to let go of the knot of anxiousness you had been holding in your chest. A knot that tangled and twisted around itself at the idea of losing him.

But here he was, bright eyed and slightly bashful as he held out a paper coffee cup that you had yet to take from him. Not only had he come back, he had arrived on time and with a coffee obviously meant to be a request of repentance. You took it from him gingerly after a beat, smiling graciously.

"Thank you, this is very sweet, but you didnt have to-"

He let out a small chuckle before shaking his head, "I wanted to."

You nodded, the gesture one of thankful acceptance. You brought the lid to your lips and let the hot mixture of coffee and milk settle on your tongue. Unthinkingly you pulled a face at the flavor, something was off.

"Uh sorry if it tastes weird. I tried to describe the markings I saw on the side of your cup to the barista. Must've got it wrong." He shrugged sheepishly, head hung low as he rubbed the back of his neck with his exposed metallic hand.

Your eyes coasted along the unclothed limb, taking a mental note of his decision to leave the metal uncovered. He was apologetic, thoughtful of your time, and getting more comfortable in your presence. Your stomach soured as you took another sip of the coffee, though the curdling in your middle had nothing to do with taste and everything to do with the bitterness you felt at your selfish wish that Bucky wasn't your patient. The actions blurred the professional line you had drawn upon his first session, the line that held you desire to know him on a more romantic level at bay while your duty as a psychologist continued it's more important job.

You cleared your throat and gestured to the couch which Bucky sat upon eagerly, as if he were waiting for your permission, as if the coffee wasn't enough for him to know he was in your good graces. You set the drink down on the table between you, noticing the mark on the cup that made this concoction different than your usual. Soy milk.

"Well I am glad you are here because we have a score to settle." You teased, rising from your seat and making your way to the shelf beside your still open door, you closed it softly and the room was wrapped in a blanket of privacy. You bent slightly to grab the deck of cards, now shuffled and stacked in a pile on the second to last shelf. It was time for a rematch.

"Can't let my best girl think she's won by default now can I?" Bucky said from behind you, his tone cocksure. You smirked and turned back to look at him, finding him relaxed against the back of the couch, his arms stretched wide taking up the entirety of the seat and allowing you a greedy look at his strong arms and muscular chest, your eyes flicked up from their lingering glance and your eyes would have met Bucky's if his gaze was not squared intently on your backside.

You bit your lip and straighted, trying with all your might to ignore the image in your mind; eyes of bright blue drinking you in like a tall glass of lemonade. You reasoned with yourself, forcing your logical mind to accept what you planned to say next which could continue you on this flirtatious track.

"Best girl huh?" Your voice was casual, lilted with the smallest tease that matched the pointed raise of your eyebrow. You doled out card between you, setting up the game while Bucky's laid back stance shifted yet again to one of uncertainty, a timid stumble of sputtered words that did not end in a complete sentence until a couple of tries in.

"I don't know a lot of dames so yeah, out of the ones I know I guess you're my favorite. You're the only one-" he cut off suddenly, picking up his cards and studying them too keenly to be believed. You moved about the cards in your hand, matching up pairs and suits while you waited patiently for what would hopefully be a big stroke to your ego. He sighed petulantly after the silence stretched long enough to tell him you would not give in and change the subject.

"You're the only one I find myself wanting to be around."

Your heart practically jumped from your chest, up your neck, and out of your mouth to hurl itself at Bucky and promise to be his forever. Luckily your heart was incapable of embarrassing you in such a way.

"Is there a reason you don't know a lot of women?" You asked as you displayed the triplet of cards bearing the number eight in black, black, and red. You asked partially out of curiosity, but mostly out of habit, knowing these inquires would bring you closer to helping him with whatever brought him to you in the first place.

"The ones I know I..." he started, then closed his lips and gave himself a moment to roll a few words around in his mouth before choosing the one that tasted best, "work with. I don't get out much."

"What do you do in your spare time?"

He considered the question as he placed down a pair of jacks and discarded a two. It was fascinating to watch him choose his words so carefully, like he knew each one had to have significance. Thoughtful. The word echoed in your head.

"I mostly work out, I dont just lie about my running habits to my friends to spend time with you." He joked and you cracked a smile. You drew a card from the deck and immediately threw it down as a discard.

"I like to read." He offered as he took his turn, "I also like to go to the farmers market on Saturdays."

"The farmers market is a great place to meet people." You said.

"I've met a few people," he sighed putting down a full set of fours, making you pout at his sudden lead. "But it doesnt ever go anywhere."

You mulled over the halfhearted excuse, letting it swim in your head. Bucky was gorgeous, there was not denying it and no doubt that's what drew women to him as he perused the Saturday market. What happened after that? What caused the fizzle and eventual death of a relationship that never even started? These were questions you could ask him, but you figured such a direct cause for self reflection would be too much for the man who deemed his therapist to be his best female friend.

Bucky ended up winning the game, his moves so strategically made that you hadn't realized your fate was sealed until you had caught his victorious grin three turns before the end. Your banter had shifted away from Bucky's dating life and practically left the realm of counseling all together in favor of smack talk and flirtatious digs. As you collected the cards Bucky looked up at the clock above his head.

"I got a few minutes left." He commented.

You hummed in acknowledgment, not looking up from the deck you were shuffling, the cards bent in your hands as you prepared to let them flicker from the halves you held into a complete set on the table.

"So, do you have a boyfriend?"

The cards you had been holding with just the right amount of pressure suddenly shot from your grip as your fingers reflexively moved in surprise. You felt your mortification double at the mess of cards strewn about the coffee table, some falling to the floor on either side as their momentum carried them over the edge. Bucky laughed lightly and you both bent down on your respective sides to collect the fallen cards.

"Sorry doll, didn't mean to get you all flustered." He said as he resurfaced and placed the rogue cards on the table. He didnt sound apologetic.

"No, no, I just lost my grip." You said lamely, faking more cards to be picked up on your side so you wouldnt have to look at him. You knew he didnt believe your fib.

"Well would you look at that your time is up. See you next week." You said hurridly, timing your completion of card settling with the start of the new hour. You rose and returned the deck to its spot on the shelf, opening your door for him immediately after.

"Are you gonna make me wait until next week to find out if you gotta guy?" Bucky whined, getting up from the couch and joining you near the doorway. His plush lips were held in a small pout, eyes large and innocent if you ignored the playful shine ribbing you had given them.

"No I don't have a boyfriend." You conceded.

"Why not?"

"Dont get out much." You said, mirroring Bucky's own words back at him. He smiled, his face alight with a satisfaction you couldn't pinpoint a sensible reason for. With a nod he walked through the doorway and around the corner, whistling a mocking tune that echoed in your ears long after he left.

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[skamelias]

GUILTY

6.3 Fredag 10.11.17  19.58

The light from his laptop shone luminous across the planes of his face as Elias stretched out his legs on the bed, resting his computer on his knees. He’d been looking up film schools for the past hour and a half and his brain was very nearly fried at this point. Ever since his talk with his brother and Jamilla he’d given film school some more thought. He figured he should at least learn what all it entailed. But now he was seriously regretting that because after scrolling through page after page, his eyes glazing over, he was abundantly overwhelmed with how many options and requirements there were.

There was no way he’d get into any one of these schools. It was stupid of him to have gotten his hopes up for a pipe dream.

It didn’t help that today his had mom bragged about Karim at the mosque to anyone who would listen and not once did she bring up Elias. He just wanted to make his parents proud to call him their son, but it seemed that all he ever did was let them down.

Hearing his parents discuss the accomplishments and ambitions of his younger sister and older brother never got easier with time. Having Karim back in the house was a painful reminder that Elias would never be good enough.

Of course he was happy for them, how could he not be, he loved them both. But no one ever talked about what it was like being the middle child. How shitty it felt being overshadowed. Half of him wished he could find his passion. But the other more rational side of him wished he could just land a job already. He felt guilty enough as it was living off his parents still. His brother’s advice the other day had assuaged some of his worries and doubts but still it didn’t help his current situation and the way he felt. His heart ached for what felt like the millionth time that day.

When he shut his eyes one word burned its way through his mind.

Hopeless

That’s what his situation was, what his life was, what he was; hopeless.

Frustrated and drained, he pushed his laptop off of him, and rolled off the bed, landing square on his sock-covered feet. He shuffled over to his closet and peered through the stacks and piles of sweaters, tees, and hoodies staring back at him. He grabbed a black wool sweater and some dark jeans and threw them on, grabbing his jacket from off the floor.

He fished for his phone under the blanket covers on his bed, his fingers finding purchase on the cool hard plastic. He texted his mom that he would be going out and that he would let her know when he got home.

He stopped for a millisecond as he thought about calling Yousef, maybe it was his own half-hearted attempt to talk himself out of this self-sabotage.

But then he thought about the lecture he would probably receive from his best friend and he decided he wasn’t in the mood for it.

He was done feeling sorry for himself.

This time he would do it right. He wouldn’t do anything stupid like last Friday. He would just slip away for a few hours, no one would even miss him.

(((Mask Off-Future)))

He quietly slid onto the bar stool, the worn tattered seat fraying at the edges. He felt like everyone’s eyes were on him, judging him wordlessly, as if he didn’t belong there. He peeled his jacket off and signaled to the bartender with his hand.

“What can I get you,” the man behind the counter asked as he wiped a glass with a greasy dish rag.

“Vodka, thanks,” Elias replied, his voice almost a hoarse whisper, the shame threatening to seep through his voice.

Just as Elias raised the drink to his lips, an insist tap on his shoulder drew his attention away.

He turned around in his seat, drink in hand, and was met with a bright faced guy with a crew cut and an earring in his right ear.

“Hi, Elias right, Sana’s brother?” the stranger exclaimed.

“Ummmm…yeah that’s me…and you ar–” Elias started.

“Eskild,” said the guy whose name he vaguely remembered from a hazy morning a few months ago.

“Eskild,” Elias repeated giving him a small smile, silently wishing that he hadn’t run into anyone he knew. He wasn’t exactly in the right state of mind for making polite conversation at the moment.

“Mind if I join you?” Eskild asked as he readily grabbed the bar stool next to Elias.

Ordinarily, he would have said no, but something told him that this guy Eskild wasn’t one to take no for an answer.

Elias shrugged and turned back to the drink in his hand. His throat burned as a took a large gulp from the glass. He scrunched up his eyes, the bitter taste overwhelming his senses as he drank several more mouthfuls.

“What are you drinking?” Eskild asked in curiosity, he eyed Elias up and down, a playful smile on his lips.

“Vodka,” Elias said, the background noise of the bar slowly started to fade together in the back of his head.

“I usually prefer wine, it’s easier going down too,” Eskild winked. If Elias wasn’t as out of it as he was starting to become, he could have sworn this guy was trying to flirt with him.

“So why are you drinking alone here on a Friday night?” Eskild said looking around before his eyes fell on Elias once again in keen interest.

Elias shook his head, raising his brows as he said, “Girl problems, family problems, you pick,” unconsciously listing off his grievances.

He unceremoniously downed a few more drops as Eskild’s forehead creased, worry etched on his face.

“Elias, I know we don’t really know each other, but can I give you some of my world famous ‘guru’ advice? I feel like you could use it,” Eskild said.

Elias sat perplexed, unsure of what to make of that sentence, but he shrugged once again, figuring it couldn’t hurt at this point.

“Girl problems are easier to fix. With girls, they just want you to be honest and direct with them. If you try to hide anything or are guilty of anything they will eventually find out, so it’s better to just tell them the truth.”

Elias stared straight ahead, his hand tightened around the glass, his knuckles whitening as he felt the color drain from his face.

The truth?

What good could that possibly lead to? Laila had texted him two days ago and he didn’t know what to say to her. He couldn’t even face her texts. How was he supposed to face her in person?

“And hey if it doesn’t work out, there’s always Tinder, that’s a good backup plan.” Elias took note of the sly gleam in Eskild’s eyes as he said that, his subsequent laugh full of mirth.

He needed another drink.

Or two.

He motioned for the bartender once again and ordered another vodka. Meanwhile, next to him Eskild ordered a red wine.

After some time and two more drinks in his system, Elias was starting to think that contacting Laila was his best option. Eskild’s advice made more and more sense with each passing second. In fact, he wondered why he hadn’t called her much earlier.

Cause you’re an idiot…that’s why.

He mentally berated himself as he reached into his pocket, drawing his phone out and flipped through his contacts, the names and numbers blurring together before he squinted and found the name he was looking for.

“Oh are you calling her right now?” Eskild asked in surprise, clearly amused.

“Yeah,” Elias said, his movements a bit sluggish, as his brain fought to keep up with his dulled senses. “Should’ve done this so long ago,” his speech slurred.

“Good luck, Elias,” Eskild smiled at him.

He looked back down at his phone, Laila’s phone number stared back at him, taunting him slightly. He needed to do this, it was suddenly the most important thing.

He took a deep breath and pressed the call button. He brought the phone up to his ear, his mind spinning in a thousand different directions, he was sure he would get dizzy from it. He heard the monotone ringing, all the while his heart was racing.

Suddenly, he heard the click and a soft voice on the other end said “Hello?”

He gulped audibly.

“Laila?” Elias half-whispered.

“Who is this?” Laila asked, suspicion lined her voice, and something else that Elias couldn’t quite place.

“It’s Elias….I got your voicemail and texts” he said, taking great effort to enunciate his words. He cast his eyes downward, as if he was half expecting her to hang up any second now.

“Elias?” There was surprise in her tone, there was no doubt about it. “What–I mean you’re calling me? Is everything ok?” he heard the crinkling of something in the background.

It took all of his concentration and focus to try to figure out what to say to her, after all this time, and after what he’d done.

“I just wanted to call you and…. ask if we could talk. Can we meet now, are you busy?” Elias finally managed.

He heard Laila pause, probably figuring out if it was worth meeting him after he’d ignored her for a week repeatedly. “Where did you want to meet?”

His heart thudded in his chest.

“What about Aker Brygge, near the waterfront?” Elias asked anxiously.

“I’ll see you there Elias,” Laila said, before she hung up.

And just like that, with one short phone call, Elias had a sliver of hope again.

He turned back to Eskild who was still sitting there, watching him in mild fascination.

“What did I tell you, being honest works,” Eskild said satisfactorily.

“I haven’t exactly told her anything yet, she just agreed to meet me…right now,” Elias admitted. He grabbed his jacket and pushed away from the bar counter, anticipation coursing through him.

“Well, that’s a start at least.” Eskild answered nonchalantly. “Hey listen, in case this all doesnt work out, is there any chance you’re bi?”

Elias was so taken aback, he stilled in his movements for a second, before he eventually managed a candid smile, shaking his head and said, “I’m sorry man.”

Eskild stared at him a few seconds longer, as if not quite believing him. A look of genuine disappointment passed over his face before he said, “Had to ask at least. It was nice chatting with you, good luck Elias,” he replied decisively, waving him off.

“Yeah you too,” Elias said, perplexed and a bit disoriented.

He was this close to seeing Laila again. Now all he had to do was find his way over to the waterfront area somehow.

Fifteen minutes later, Elias was standing in his heavy grey coat, shivering and watching the water as it glistened in the pale lamplight.

He’d walked the short distance from the bar to Aker Brygge, his hands slightly shaking; he couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or from nerves.

He checked his phone, hoping to see a text from Laila saying she was here, but no such luck.

He hoped against all hope that she hadn’t stood him up. He was starting to think this might have been a bad idea. What if Laila realized he was still drunk? She had actually agreed to meet him and he didn’t want to mess it up.

Stay calm….you can do this!

He sensed movement out of the corner of his eye. Turning around slightly, he narrowed his eyes in the dim lighting, watching as a figure slowly approached him. As they got closer, Elias could make out brown curls blowing frantically in the wind.

His pulse accelerated.

After all this time, she still took his breath away.

He couldn’t believe how much control she had over him, it almost wasn’t fair.

And yet here he was, mouth slightly open at the sudden sight of her in front of him, mere inches away. So close he could see the small flecks of light brown in her dark amber eyes.

He didn’t realize it was possible but she looked even more beautiful than the last time he saw her.

She was wearing a black jacket over a deep green turtleneck and high waisted black jeans, her hair fell in frizzy curls.

Elias gulped.

“Hi,” he uttered softly.

Laila gave him a hesitant smile, her eyes full of uncertainty. “Elias…..hey.”

“It’s so good to see you,” Elias finally managed after a beat of awkward silence that had lasted a bit too long.

Laila nodded. “Yeah you too….I was glad you called.”

“I thought about calling you a lot or even texting you, but I…..didn’tkknowwhattosay,” Elias mumbled.

Laila paused. “You must hate me…for leaving like that without a word.”

Elias shook his head dramatically, he felt dizzy all of a sudden. “No! No I don’t hate you, trust me. If anything, you should hate me.” Elias looked away.

She furrowed her eyebrows and said, “Why would I hate you, you didn’t do anything wrong?”

The guilt pressed against his chest, an unbearable feeling that he couldn’t escape. He had to tell her.

(((God Don’t Leave Me-Highasakite)))

“Laila….there’s something I have to tell you,” he started.

He glanced up at her and met her steady gaze before continuing, “Last Friday, before I saw you, I…heard that you got back together with your ex and I started drinking, then I got into a fight trying to defend my friend. It was stupid I realize now, but I don’t know it just sort of happened, and then…once I saw you, it’s like all those feelings came rushing back. But then I thought you had moved on in those two months so I…I hooked up with this girl…it meant nothing…I was drunk…and it was a mistake, but I wanted to tell you the truth…”

She visibly stiffened in front of him. “Was that the last time you drank?” Laila asked, her voice suddenly a shade more distant.

“What?” The question clearly threw him off. He’d been expecting her to be upset by the news that he’d slept with someone else.

“I–” Elias shifted his gaze downward, the shame cut through him like a knife.

“Are you drunk now?” Laila asked quietly.

He looked back at her.

She knew. Of course she did.

“I’m sorry,” was the only thing Elias could think to say.

She shook her head in frustration, anger flashed in her eyes. “I can’t believe you. You thought you would get drunk and call me saying you want to talk? She used air quotes around the word ‘talk’.

“No, that wasn’t what I was tryi–”

“We’re you trying to get back at me for leaving? By sleeping with some random girl, even though you still had feelings for me, and being drunk was what, an excuse?” Laila interrupted him, her voice hitched slightly.

“Laila, please, I told you it didn’t mean anything, you have to believe me,” Elias nearly begged.

She ran her hands over her face and breathed a deep sigh. Eventually she peered back at him, expressionless. “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”

“Laila, wait,” Elias pleaded.

But it was too late, she was already turning around, walking away from him.

He tried to walk after her, to catch up with her, but his stomach lurched uncomfortably.

He was going to be sick. He tried breathing in and out, several times, to slow his breathing.

He watched her get further and further away from him.

Elias felt hollow inside, a small piece of him left raw and broken.

He needed to get home. He wearily took his phone out of his pocket and attempted to call for a taxi; he was in no state to walk home.

As he stood there on the sidewalk, waiting for his ride, he replayed their conversation in the back of his mind over and over again.

No matter what he did, he always managed to hurt the people he loved.

[allinsgaywitchaesthetic-moved]

literally no one asked for this and i was bored so heres monsta x as a jazz combo under the cut

shownu

sax player, brass/winds leader

plays every single saxophone known to man + clarinet, flute, and p much every other wind instrument ?? like how?????

hes amazing thats how

so so so dedicated but like

where kihyun is like …. aggressively dedicated shownu is more relaxed abt it

like kihyun plays more but shownu listens more and analyzes more sort of??

thats why hes the leader

has a very good understanding of different styles and how to break them down

just perceptive musically

also really good at imitating specific styles

always has extra valve oil and grease and strings and sticks in his bag it’s ridiculous the thing probably weighs like 30 pounds

he doesn’t really have a specific music taste?? like hes just not picky

also too compliant for his own good …

minhyuk showed up at rehearsal once like “shownu, lets play death metal!!”  and shownu was just like “ok sounds good”

also doesn’t really like to be super assertive so he’ll usually suggest articulations and phrasings rather than saying “tongue this note and slur that”

everyone listens to him anyways tho because he’s right

not really tonally or rhythmically inclined tbh hes just good all around

hes really flexible stylistically and likes to play in lots of different styles

loves bob florence, john coltrane, ellington, but will listen to everything

likes to challenge himself w rhythms bc hes pretty good at them!!

he gets really anxious before performances tho and it definitely reflects in his playing :(

kihyun

trumpet!!! lead trumpet!!!!

his sound is really sharp (like cutting? almost) and strong and honestly??? the most beautiful thing uve ever heard

probably a prodigy tbh

he isnt leader tho like just bc he plays the ~visually most important~ instrument doesn’t mean hes in charge lol

always attentive, has like 3 pencils on him at all times, records rehearsals, Model Musician tbh

tonally inclined

eats, drinks, and breathes long tones

can’t sleep?? long tones

hungry?? long tones

bored?? long tones

i.m: hey kihyun whats the answer for question 11?

kihyun: long tones, changkyun. the answer is always long tones

i.m, in the background: im a guitarist????

his range is ridiculous bc of this

loves ballads!!! especially basie ballads like little darling bc he can just … drag out his beautiful sound like theres no tomorrow

probably doesn’t like a lot of contemporary jazz but plays it to challenge himself

also loves thad jones, miles davis, jalc (modern groups playing old jazz make him happy!!) and jazz vocalists - frank sinatra, cecile mclorin savant, etc.

biggest weakness is probably the fact that he doesn’t listen as much as he should so he doesn’t always grasp style well :(

shownu: kihyun listen to this recording!

kihyun: i can’t ,, im playing rn .. ., gotta go fast

minhyuk

hes a trombone player and no one can tell me other wise

this is bc trombones are the worst and so is minhyuk

shownu: alright everyone lets start at measure 39

minhyuk: *slides around on the trombone* how about i solo for 30 measures instead

never fuckingf listens

but hes not a bad player!! hes just .. an unstoppable force of nature .. .,

his sound is really warm and broad but occasionally sounds a little muffled

esp when hes lazy or doesn’t like the piece theyre working on

tbh don’t even expect him to try if he doesnt like the music ur playing

tonally inclined

hates long tones, has never done them in his life probably??

bc of that his range isn’t super big but his sound is really strong and powerful

kihyun works w him on long tones bc ‘minhyuk!!! ur range is holding us back,, please!!’

prefers up tempo funk or latin tunes but doesn’t like super complicated rhythms

loves gordon goodwin and the brecker brothers to bits …

will blast them while showering :)

really impatient as a musician

like he cant focus for super long periods of time and he cant sit through all of those long rehearsals so his playing suffers bc of that

he practices better in small groups than alone bc the other members help him focus better so he gets more done~

i.m

guitarist

hes the only guitarist u will ever meet who shows up on time to rehearsal… amazing

its rlly relaxing to watch him play hes just really confident n comfortable w his style of playing bc hes p flexible and he loves jazz a lot bc its so different and complicated as a genre!!!

has read every single jazz autobiography and watched every single jazz movie known to man

rhythmically inclined

he, hyungwon, and jooheon just .. have rhythm clapping competitions where they see who can clap the most complicated rhythms for the longest amount of time …. theyre a trip

plays clappingmusic on his phone when hes bored and has converted the entire band to it

fuckin loves free jazz and fusion!!!!  and contemporary jazz

he, hyungwon, and jooheon just hang out listening to ornette coleman, charles mingus, chick corea - its a great time

(hyungwon hates ornette coleman but he wont tell changkyun bc he doesn’t want to break his heart :( )

hes a sucker for like .. old romantic sounding jazz

he plays through his real book every couple of days- he really loves the classics too

loves wes montgomery

hes the bands treasure; you make fun of a lick he played?? u wont see the light of day . …

his biggest weakness is he has troubles communicating with the other group members like w eye contact and tempo changes and stuff

also gets lost in the middle of pieces sometimes bc hes a little spacey n he worries :(

wonho

pianist, rhythm section leader

naturally bouncy style, very swingy - he’s a natural, also possibly a prodigy?

won a bunch of classical music competitions when he was a kid but then he realized he liked jazz more so he switched over

the biggest jazz history nerd!! just knows a lot of random facts about all the composers

favorite facts include: billy strayhorn was gay and mingus punched his lead bone player in the mouth (hyungwons response ‘youre next minhyuk’ always makes him laugh)

buys food for everyone before rehearsal

always trying to help everyone become more confident and happy with their own musical abilities

helps everyone rehearse by doing 1-on-1 stuff if they need it

probably plays in elderly homes and in orphanages to help the kids

also not really rhythmically/tonally inclined hes just good

rlly likes jazz-inspired classical music and like … jazz movie soundtracks

watches jazz movies with changkyun

also likes ragtime, second line, dixieland … all those old exciting jazz movements bc theyre so fun to play!!!

he isn’t very confident in his playing like he knows hes good but he doubts himself a lot so he lets other people’s preferences control him??

like if someone doesn’t like something abt a solo of his he’ll change to appease them, even if he likes it a lot :(

hyungwon

bassist

plays both upright and electric

really smooth long sound on both instruments - his entire style feels very relaxed

honestly was dragged into this by minhyuk without knowing what jazz really was but he really grew to like it!!

loves his role as a bassist bc hes important but like … behind the scenes important >:)

most people don’t think abt the bassist at all in the band but hyungwon Knows that hes important so hes ok w that

definitely doesn’t know how to work his own equipment like

quarter inches?? amp head??? what r those he just doesn’t know

he and jooheon always argue about the best way to do a fill and tempo and anything else under the sun bc theyre both stubborn and think theyre right

wonho is the only one that can make it stop

hyungwon probably shows up late to rehearsal w like … cup ramen and a book someone help him

the book is a jazz autobiography and he discusses it w changkyun after rehearsal over coffee

hes rhythmically inclined and loves to challenge himself w odd meters and weird fingerings

he doesn’t necessarily like that kind of music though?? like hell play it to challenge himself but he won’t always like it and won’t really listen to it

loves every single bassist known to man

esp victor wooten, mingus, esperanza spalding, ron carter

he hates jaco tho bc jaco is an asshole

minhyuk: but mingus was also an asshole??

hyungwon: shhhhhhh mingus was a special kind of asshole so its ok

will honestly just listen to entire bass concerts

loves cool jazz and bebop

hes really … absorbed in his own playing because he throws himself into it and wants his walking to be good and he wants to be in time and all these other things so when hes playing he sometimes ignores the rest of the group bc hes trying so hard to sound good

hes a lil bit of a worrier internally and its gets in the way of the confidence of his playing

also procrastinates on his deadlines like theres no tomorrow lol

jooheon

drummer!!!!

carries at least 3 pairs of sticks, brushes, and a practice pad with him at all times

he??? drums in the bath room sometimes????? you’ll just walk by and hear vague slapping noises like ‘oh thats just jooheon! hes working on his rudiments’ :)

one of those 3 pairs of drumsticks is broken and taped together so that it doesn’t fall apart tbh

wants to bring back jazz rap

also rlly likes electroswing and jazz trap

just give him jazz thats influenced by new technologies in music !! he loves it

rhythmically inclined - especially likes playing in odd meters

his fills and hits are always so in-time it’s ridiculous

loves don ellis and buddy rich

his jazz playlist is 50% all of the standard jazz he needs and the other 50% is like thess tracks from single composers that have been dead 20 years w no meter or are in like 17/8 or something

jokes abt having 'perfect click’ all the time like

jooheon: you know perfect pitch??? ive got perfect tempo ;)))

hyungwon: jooheon shut up, you rush all of your fills

sets up pranks w minhyuk before rehearsal starts so that its 'more fun’ because jazz is 'all about rebellion against the status quo’ like ok

he worries a lot bc he feels like he needs to carry the entire band on his shoulders bc he’s a drummer and therefore The Most Important

but then everyone always says “but we’re all drummers!” and he feels a little better abt it

probably cries after every performance

[trendingnewsb]

MIA: This is a white country, you dont have to spell it out to me

Maya Arulpragasam is bringing dancehall, hip-hop and grime to this years Meltdown. Is the outspoken British Sri Lankan the best argument for positive cultural appropriation?

The Guardian said that you couldnt shag to my record. As conversational openers go, MIAs beats the banal niceties of, say, Hello, how are you doing?. Its no surprise that she charges straight into a chat about why her last album was considered too confrontational for the bedroom by this paper. Its an icebreaker moulded to MIAs very own design: abrasive, compelling, underpinned by sex. Yeah, she finally concedes with a grin when I suggest we move past it, you cant have it all, can you?

Its a theme she warms up to when we talk about her edition of Meltdown at the Southbank Centre, which were ostensibly here to discuss. Usually, I wouldnt do something like this, she says, slouched under an oversized khaki coat dress. [But the organisers] were like: Hey, you can do whatever you want. Still, putting on the South Banks annual festival, curated in previous years by the likes of David Bowie, David Byrne and Patti Smith, has turned out to be a fairly arduous affair for MIA who says she doesnt do computers at the moment.

They didnt tell me it was nine days long. I thought it was a weekend. And then all my lists were, like, Well, this person wont be in London and that person is doing Glastonbury. Organising festivals is actually really complicated, she stresses. It wasnt just about dreaming something and then it appeared. Programming literally means, like, programming.

For all that Maya Arulpragasam didnt quite know what she was letting herself in for, one suspects the Southbank Centre didnt either; logistics aside, the mornings photoshoot has already been met with some flapping from the press officer made nervous by MIA climbing on the roof without safety clearance. Still, her lineup dancehall, Brooklyn hip-hop, depressive Swedish rap and Nigerian grime is perhaps the most underground the festival has seen in its 24 years. How much is she expecting to shake up its comfortable concert halls, cafe bars and conference-room spaces?

Click here to watch the video for last years Go Off.

When I was a teenager in London, I would just get a Travelcard and go somewhere, explore the city and go to weird places, she says. I would never judge the place, like, This is middle class and white. This is a white country, you dont have to spell it out to me, but there wasnt ever a limit on where I could go or what I could do.

A long, elliptical digression on London then and now follows, which takes in the optimistic multiculturalism of the 90s, Tamil house parties, empire and British identity. Its the bento box of an MIA interview: individually contained ideas that dont obviously bleed into one another and yet, overall, make a collective sense if youre prepared to go with it. Thats the key thing about MIA: you have to be willing to go with her to properly get her. Given that she still looks and sounds like a beautiful, bratty, art-school upstart and is prone to labyrinthine tangents, its easy to portray her as inarticulate or unhinged. But MIAs intelligence is instinctive rather than intellectual, and fuelled by the political.

The Mehrabian maxim that reckons that only 7% of communication is verbal is one that might best be proven by the transcript of a chat with MIA removed of all tone, attitude, context and body language. Take, for instance, her explanation of why only the future remains relevant:

As humans, we dont use our past and our history to work out the importance of what our role is in the present, she says. And if you cant use the past to define your present, then it should not be an element that holds back the future. Greece is a perfect example. More than Britain, they were brought to their knees, and not a single white country thought about saving them. And it was part of their heritage. Its where their mythology comes from or their concept of capitalism and democracy comes from. Nobody cared, everybody cared about the modern. Right?

Kim Kardashian is actually more powerful than Greece. She has more money than the whole of Greece, she continues. Therefore, thats where the power lies. If you then define it that way, then you kind of just have to live with that. And maybe whats happening in modern society: that if youre going to judge it by that, then other countries are gonna come in and define the future.

In print, its a statement that seems lacking in logic and coherence. In the moment, Im fairly sure Im able to follow her and we go on to consider how and where this future is being defined (for the record: You cant ignore the fact that China is going to be doing their thing in the next 50 years) and how Arulpragasam believes the immigration issue has become a red herring covering up a truth that can explain the American and British swing to conservative populism.

With Brexit, the idea was to get away from Europe and reinvent our identity, she says. And really, that identity was going to be American, but then they gave us Trump! So, everyone now is like, Oh shit, what is Britain? Are we going to rewind back to the 1800s? We cant. Its too late for that. So, going forward, we need a charismatic leader who then va va vooms the British identity. And we dont have that either.

People thinking that Im a bitch is totally unwarranted … MIA. Photograph: Stephanie Sian Smith/The Guide

The prime minister has called a snap election on the day we meet. Does MIA have any faith in our political system? Or in the left?

Everyone keeps going, Corbyn cant do this, but its, like, well, who else is there? she says. If people just left him alone to actually do the job and actually gave him some support, maybe hed be different. Treating him with so much contempt fighting that takes all his energy. How the fuck do you expect him to do interesting things? In any case insists the estranged daughter of a Tamil revolutionary, politicians are people who couldnt get jobs somewhere else.

MIAs politics, unwieldy and unslick though they may be, have often made her an easy target for tedious sneering in the press; the most insistent narrative is that, like Banksy, shes big on arch, subversive statement but lacks substance. Or that she is a hypocrite for making herself the poster girl for the worlds most marginalised people. And yet, shes one of the best pop stars Britain has ever produced. For all the ear-clanging experimentation of her five albums, MIA has always kept a sleeve full of pop bangers Bucky Done Gun, Paper Planes, Bad Girls, Finally that have sounded like little that came before or since her. Even if she didnt have the tunes, here is an art-school refugee Sri Lankan single mother with a visual aesthetic co-opted by everyone from Vetements to Versace who was born into political rebellion and revels in controversy. Gleefully gauche and carefree, MIA is the best argument for when cultural appropriation works. Bland singer-songstress beloved of Radio 2 playlists she isnt. So how much has the criticism bothered her?

People thinking that Im a bitch is totally unwarranted because Im not, she ays. I just had to fight for shit, and I still do. I just dont care any more. I dont know. She stops and starts. What I deal with as an artist, the media, the public persona, its a walk in the fucking park, compared to how confusing the universe really fucking is. Theres so much beauty in it and theres so much mystery, theres so much confusing shit in it. That is way more interesting to think about than why, like, Patricia hates me. You know what I mean? I laugh. Its like, Who the fuck is Patricia? and How can Patricia say this shit about me?. It just does not matter to me at all.As it is, she says shes most preoccupied with how to be a functioning grown up, an adult and a mother to an eight-year-old son (whose father Benjamin Bronfman is son to the billionaire heir of the Seagram fortune) born into immense privilege.

When the war came to an end in Sri Lanka in 2009, it actually did affect me, she explains. Everyone was, like, What the fuck does she know? Shes, like, a pop star, but that was my life. It was 50% of who I was, it was my identity. I didnt know what to do with myself. So I had a kid. Its the year the cause died, but the year my personal cause my son was born. And then, OK, I have to figure out what to do in very small parameters: I have a son, how is he going to see his grandma, am I going to make it there on Saturday? Can I make sure that I dont mess up his head by being depressed about certain things?

She struggles to reconcile her upbringing poor and living in Sri Lanka for her childhood to poor and living on a council estate in Mitcham, south London, in her adolescence with her sons. Im not very straightforward as an immigrant. That whole My kids would never see the pain that I saw; Im not like that. Im totally up for reintroducing him to the pain. I dont have any qualms about that. Her problems havent changed, she says, because of money or better circumstances. Whether Im in a mansion or a council flat, I would feel the same anxiety waking up going: I need to write this thing in a scrapbook, wheres my notepad? I would still have all those problems. I might still overcook the fish fingers. Those things are not going to magically transform because your house has changed. At the beginning I thought that money couldve saved my family. Very quickly I realised that money is not the thing.

Her conflict in wanting to being huge and commercial versus credible and ahead of the curve has been a persistent tension threaded through MIAs career. When I got into the music game, it was never an option to shut up and make lots of money. she says. To be a huge pop star, I would have to be, like, Yes, I think bombing Afghanistan was a great idea, I love our democracy and what it has achieved. I love the American flag and Im going to make a jumpsuit out of it. I just think it was important to have all of those Arab Springs, and its great and lets drink Coca-Cola. I had to do that, and do it all in a thong. Could I have done that if it meant that my mum had the nicest house in Chiswick by the river?

Click here to se the video for MIAs Bad Girls.

Does she worry about money now? If youre preaching living within your means, you have to, to some extent. But I also know that if youre someone in society that speaks out about injustice or political issues, one of the things that happens is that you get economically punished, 100%. I take that hit all the time.

The most recent, obvious example was MIA being forced to quit her headline slot at Afropunk last year, following a contentious quote in which she asked in an interview why Beyonc and Kendrick Lamar might not discuss why Muslim lives matter or Syrian lives matter. I dont regret [raising the issue], she says, with triumphant chutzpah. You saw how bad it was. And the Muslim ban didnt happen just with Trump, it was already happening under Obama. But you couldnt say that about him, you couldnt say that he introduced the Muslim ban, or banned seven different countries, or was already monitoring people, or dropped more bombs than Trump has. In truth, Obamas administration did identify the seven countries on Trumps list for additional screening measures, but it didnt bar their nationals. Shes already skipped ahead. The quantity of damage cant be quantified right now, she insists. Well have to wait the four years. After eight years of Obama, we kind of knew [his failings], but we just werent allowed to say them because he was so great. He was better than any person in Hollywood that I wouldve watched. He was really likable and just had loads of swag. That doesnt mean that you have to deny the truth, though.

This (and much more) comes moments after she tells me she has no time for opinions these days. She claims she doesnt read the news any more and that her primary sources for information are customers at the local kebab shop, taxi drivers and then sort of figuring it out. What about the state of the world? MIAs moment as an agitprop pop activist has never seemed more potent. Politics? I have no time for these things because Im so stuck in the zone. Ive become a hermit. [Meltdown] is actually giving me the chance to actually go out and meet people again. Ive gone for weeks without talking to a person, I do that happily. I tell her I dont believe her, as I suspect it would be a recipe for her to go fully barmy.

Im actually quite an extreme person, so I dont see that as madness. I see that as, like, solitude, doing a phase of solitude is not that bad. After declaring her fifth album AIM to be her final one, shes also trying to find new ways to channel her creativity. Im trying to write a film. I havent stepped into it yet because I want it to be good. Once you hit the start button you cant really stop it. She has, she tells me, the added complication of ADD to contend with. When was that diagnosed? I just have it. Dont even need diagnosis, its a waste of time, its a waste of the NHS. In truly blithe MIA style, she adds: Its just when you have too many ideas and not enough ways to get them out.

MIAs Meltdown is at the Southbank Centre, SE1, 9-18 June

Read more: http://ift.tt/2rBtxTD

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MIA: This is a white country, you dont have to spell it out to me

Maya Arulpragasam is bringing dancehall, hip-hop and grime to this years Meltdown. Is the outspoken British Sri Lankan the best argument for positive cultural appropriation?

The Guardian said that you couldnt shag to my record. As conversational openers go, MIAs beats the banal niceties of, say, Hello, how are you doing?. Its no surprise that she charges straight into a chat about why her last album was considered too confrontational for the bedroom by this paper. Its an icebreaker moulded to MIAs very own design: abrasive, compelling, underpinned by sex. Yeah, she finally concedes with a grin when I suggest we move past it, you cant have it all, can you?

Its a theme she warms up to when we talk about her edition of Meltdown at the Southbank Centre, which were ostensibly here to discuss. Usually, I wouldnt do something like this, she says, slouched under an oversized khaki coat dress. [But the organisers] were like: Hey, you can do whatever you want. Still, putting on the South Banks annual festival, curated in previous years by the likes of David Bowie, David Byrne and Patti Smith, has turned out to be a fairly arduous affair for MIA who says she doesnt do computers at the moment.

They didnt tell me it was nine days long. I thought it was a weekend. And then all my lists were, like, Well, this person wont be in London and that person is doing Glastonbury. Organising festivals is actually really complicated, she stresses. It wasnt just about dreaming something and then it appeared. Programming literally means, like, programming.

For all that Maya Arulpragasam didnt quite know what she was letting herself in for, one suspects the Southbank Centre didnt either; logistics aside, the mornings photoshoot has already been met with some flapping from the press officer made nervous by MIA climbing on the roof without safety clearance. Still, her lineup dancehall, Brooklyn hip-hop, depressive Swedish rap and Nigerian grime is perhaps the most underground the festival has seen in its 24 years. How much is she expecting to shake up its comfortable concert halls, cafe bars and conference-room spaces?

Click here to watch the video for last years Go Off.

When I was a teenager in London, I would just get a Travelcard and go somewhere, explore the city and go to weird places, she says. I would never judge the place, like, This is middle class and white. This is a white country, you dont have to spell it out to me, but there wasnt ever a limit on where I could go or what I could do.

A long, elliptical digression on London then and now follows, which takes in the optimistic multiculturalism of the 90s, Tamil house parties, empire and British identity. Its the bento box of an MIA interview: individually contained ideas that dont obviously bleed into one another and yet, overall, make a collective sense if youre prepared to go with it. Thats the key thing about MIA: you have to be willing to go with her to properly get her. Given that she still looks and sounds like a beautiful, bratty, art-school upstart and is prone to labyrinthine tangents, its easy to portray her as inarticulate or unhinged. But MIAs intelligence is instinctive rather than intellectual, and fuelled by the political.

The Mehrabian maxim that reckons that only 7% of communication is verbal is one that might best be proven by the transcript of a chat with MIA removed of all tone, attitude, context and body language. Take, for instance, her explanation of why only the future remains relevant:

As humans, we dont use our past and our history to work out the importance of what our role is in the present, she says. And if you cant use the past to define your present, then it should not be an element that holds back the future. Greece is a perfect example. More than Britain, they were brought to their knees, and not a single white country thought about saving them. And it was part of their heritage. Its where their mythology comes from or their concept of capitalism and democracy comes from. Nobody cared, everybody cared about the modern. Right?

Kim Kardashian is actually more powerful than Greece. She has more money than the whole of Greece, she continues. Therefore, thats where the power lies. If you then define it that way, then you kind of just have to live with that. And maybe whats happening in modern society: that if youre going to judge it by that, then other countries are gonna come in and define the future.

In print, its a statement that seems lacking in logic and coherence. In the moment, Im fairly sure Im able to follow her and we go on to consider how and where this future is being defined (for the record: You cant ignore the fact that China is going to be doing their thing in the next 50 years) and how Arulpragasam believes the immigration issue has become a red herring covering up a truth that can explain the American and British swing to conservative populism.

With Brexit, the idea was to get away from Europe and reinvent our identity, she says. And really, that identity was going to be American, but then they gave us Trump! So, everyone now is like, Oh shit, what is Britain? Are we going to rewind back to the 1800s? We cant. Its too late for that. So, going forward, we need a charismatic leader who then va va vooms the British identity. And we dont have that either.

People thinking that Im a bitch is totally unwarranted … MIA. Photograph: Stephanie Sian Smith/The Guide

The prime minister has called a snap election on the day we meet. Does MIA have any faith in our political system? Or in the left?

Everyone keeps going, Corbyn cant do this, but its, like, well, who else is there? she says. If people just left him alone to actually do the job and actually gave him some support, maybe hed be different. Treating him with so much contempt fighting that takes all his energy. How the fuck do you expect him to do interesting things? In any case insists the estranged daughter of a Tamil revolutionary, politicians are people who couldnt get jobs somewhere else.

MIAs politics, unwieldy and unslick though they may be, have often made her an easy target for tedious sneering in the press; the most insistent narrative is that, like Banksy, shes big on arch, subversive statement but lacks substance. Or that she is a hypocrite for making herself the poster girl for the worlds most marginalised people. And yet, shes one of the best pop stars Britain has ever produced. For all the ear-clanging experimentation of her five albums, MIA has always kept a sleeve full of pop bangers Bucky Done Gun, Paper Planes, Bad Girls, Finally that have sounded like little that came before or since her. Even if she didnt have the tunes, here is an art-school refugee Sri Lankan single mother with a visual aesthetic co-opted by everyone from Vetements to Versace who was born into political rebellion and revels in controversy. Gleefully gauche and carefree, MIA is the best argument for when cultural appropriation works. Bland singer-songstress beloved of Radio 2 playlists she isnt. So how much has the criticism bothered her?

People thinking that Im a bitch is totally unwarranted because Im not, she ays. I just had to fight for shit, and I still do. I just dont care any more. I dont know. She stops and starts. What I deal with as an artist, the media, the public persona, its a walk in the fucking park, compared to how confusing the universe really fucking is. Theres so much beauty in it and theres so much mystery, theres so much confusing shit in it. That is way more interesting to think about than why, like, Patricia hates me. You know what I mean? I laugh. Its like, Who the fuck is Patricia? and How can Patricia say this shit about me?. It just does not matter to me at all.As it is, she says shes most preoccupied with how to be a functioning grown up, an adult and a mother to an eight-year-old son (whose father Benjamin Bronfman is son to the billionaire heir of the Seagram fortune) born into immense privilege.

When the war came to an end in Sri Lanka in 2009, it actually did affect me, she explains. Everyone was, like, What the fuck does she know? Shes, like, a pop star, but that was my life. It was 50% of who I was, it was my identity. I didnt know what to do with myself. So I had a kid. Its the year the cause died, but the year my personal cause my son was born. And then, OK, I have to figure out what to do in very small parameters: I have a son, how is he going to see his grandma, am I going to make it there on Saturday? Can I make sure that I dont mess up his head by being depressed about certain things?

She struggles to reconcile her upbringing poor and living in Sri Lanka for her childhood to poor and living on a council estate in Mitcham, south London, in her adolescence with her sons. Im not very straightforward as an immigrant. That whole My kids would never see the pain that I saw; Im not like that. Im totally up for reintroducing him to the pain. I dont have any qualms about that. Her problems havent changed, she says, because of money or better circumstances. Whether Im in a mansion or a council flat, I would feel the same anxiety waking up going: I need to write this thing in a scrapbook, wheres my notepad? I would still have all those problems. I might still overcook the fish fingers. Those things are not going to magically transform because your house has changed. At the beginning I thought that money couldve saved my family. Very quickly I realised that money is not the thing.

Her conflict in wanting to being huge and commercial versus credible and ahead of the curve has been a persistent tension threaded through MIAs career. When I got into the music game, it was never an option to shut up and make lots of money. she says. To be a huge pop star, I would have to be, like, Yes, I think bombing Afghanistan was a great idea, I love our democracy and what it has achieved. I love the American flag and Im going to make a jumpsuit out of it. I just think it was important to have all of those Arab Springs, and its great and lets drink Coca-Cola. I had to do that, and do it all in a thong. Could I have done that if it meant that my mum had the nicest house in Chiswick by the river?

Click here to se the video for MIAs Bad Girls.

Does she worry about money now? If youre preaching living within your means, you have to, to some extent. But I also know that if youre someone in society that speaks out about injustice or political issues, one of the things that happens is that you get economically punished, 100%. I take that hit all the time.

The most recent, obvious example was MIA being forced to quit her headline slot at Afropunk last year, following a contentious quote in which she asked in an interview why Beyonc and Kendrick Lamar might not discuss why Muslim lives matter or Syrian lives matter. I dont regret [raising the issue], she says, with triumphant chutzpah. You saw how bad it was. And the Muslim ban didnt happen just with Trump, it was already happening under Obama. But you couldnt say that about him, you couldnt say that he introduced the Muslim ban, or banned seven different countries, or was already monitoring people, or dropped more bombs than Trump has. In truth, Obamas administration did identify the seven countries on Trumps list for additional screening measures, but it didnt bar their nationals. Shes already skipped ahead. The quantity of damage cant be quantified right now, she insists. Well have to wait the four years. After eight years of Obama, we kind of knew [his failings], but we just werent allowed to say them because he was so great. He was better than any person in Hollywood that I wouldve watched. He was really likable and just had loads of swag. That doesnt mean that you have to deny the truth, though.

This (and much more) comes moments after she tells me she has no time for opinions these days. She claims she doesnt read the news any more and that her primary sources for information are customers at the local kebab shop, taxi drivers and then sort of figuring it out. What about the state of the world? MIAs moment as an agitprop pop activist has never seemed more potent. Politics? I have no time for these things because Im so stuck in the zone. Ive become a hermit. [Meltdown] is actually giving me the chance to actually go out and meet people again. Ive gone for weeks without talking to a person, I do that happily. I tell her I dont believe her, as I suspect it would be a recipe for her to go fully barmy.

Im actually quite an extreme person, so I dont see that as madness. I see that as, like, solitude, doing a phase of solitude is not that bad. After declaring her fifth album AIM to be her final one, shes also trying to find new ways to channel her creativity. Im trying to write a film. I havent stepped into it yet because I want it to be good. Once you hit the start button you cant really stop it. She has, she tells me, the added complication of ADD to contend with. When was that diagnosed? I just have it. Dont even need diagnosis, its a waste of time, its a waste of the NHS. In truly blithe MIA style, she adds: Its just when you have too many ideas and not enough ways to get them out.

MIAs Meltdown is at the Southbank Centre, SE1, 9-18 June

Read more: http://ift.tt/2rBtxTD

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2rbYbGf via Viral News HQ