#JB STONE RECORDS

[loveharlow]

SYNOPSIS‧₊˚ [5.7k] based on 1x03.

WARNING(S)‧₊˚ swearing, mentions of death/grief, creepy older man behavior, pining/unrequited love, assault/mild violence

˗ˏˋ series masterlist ˎˊ˗

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YOU PICKED UP THE OBJECT, SLIDING IT TO JOHN B THROUGH THE CRACK IN THE STONE.

“That’s not gold.” Pope spoke despondently with a childish frown.

“Holy shit,” John B spoke, ignoring his friend's sadness. You climbed your way back out of the tomb, dropping next to JJ who helped you dust yourself off as JB continued speaking. “This is from my dad.”

It was a bittersweet moment, hope that maybe this wasn’t all for naught. However, the rev of an engine in the distance made your smiles drop, a golf cart pulling up in the distance. You all began shoving each other out of sight and behind the tomb, panic clearly present.

“John B, your light!”

“Turn your light off.” You all hissed at him, the boy being the only one with his source of light still bright and kicking. From your distance and the lack of daylight, none of you could tell whether it was the square groupers or not, but you all decided to throw all caution to the wind when it looked like the person in the driver’s seat had a gun. 

“Screw this.” Kiara said, getting up and bolting, the rest of you following quickly behind her. You almost knocked one another over trying to jump the fence, everyone making it smoothly besides Pope, who managed to get stuck. By his pants.

In your rush, you all practically ripped the boy off the gate, leaving his pants behind before piling in The Twinkie and speeding off, giggles filling the vehicle. 

“ARE YOU INTENTIONALLY IGNORING THE MOLD ON THAT BREAD?” You questioned, disgust written all over your face as JJ spread peanut butter all over the mold-ridden slice. You were back at the “safety�� of The Chateau, waiting for John B to build up the courage to open the package — a large white FedEx envelope, ‘For Bird’ written across it, the nickname his dad had given him. 

“I’ll just pull off the bad parts,” JJ reassured with a shrug, putting the slices together. “Plus, mold is good for you.” You made a sound of disgust before leaving the small kitchen space with the blonde trailing behind you, the two of you stopping behind John B who was seated, looking over his shoulder alongside Kiara and Pope.

Taking a deep breath, he ripped open the package quickly, JJ gagging behind your head after taking a bite of his sandwich, a sass-filled ‘told you’ leaving your lips as your eyes focused on the items John B was pulling out of the parcel.

The first thing was a map — black and white with notes on it. Coordinates, The Lighthouse and The Cut labeled on it, some kind of whirly drawing, and X marked over some area. The next thing was a tape recorder, blue, small and dusty.

John B paused for a moment before pressing play. The mechanism came to life, a static cassette-like sound coming through before a voice was heard.

“...Dear Bird,” The nearly forgotten sound of Big John’s voice filled your ears, just as deep and brassy as you remember, the southern twang in his speech causing a small smile to form. “I hate to say ‘I told you so’ but, I told you so. And you doubted your old man…I suspect at this moment, you’re filled with guilt and self-loathing over our last fight. But don’t kill yourself just yet, kid. I didn’t expect to find The Merchant either.” 

You wondered if you heard that correctly. Big John had actually found The Royal Merchant? Looks were shared amongst the group but nobody said a thing, letting the recording continue.

“You were probably right to call me out. Wasn’t exactly father of the decade. What can I say, kid? I could smell the barn… hopefully we’re listening to this in our brand-new sugar shack down in Costa Rica, livin’ off passive investments and pulling on permits. If not, and you find this for less than optimal reasons, well…that’s what the map is for. There she is, The Wreck of The Merchant. If something happens to me, finish what I started. Go for the gold, kid. I love you, Bird, even if I didn’t always act like it…I’ll see you on the other side.”

And then the tape was ending, leaving you with a million more questions than you all had walked into this with. The house was silent, you all silently anticipating what John B was going to say or do. If he was going to cry or scream.

You sighed when the boy got up, chair scooting harshly across the floor as tears became evident in his waterline as he turned around and practically collapsed against the wall, sobbing. Hugging the structure as he slid down slowly, unable to fully hold himself up.

Kie was the first and only one to walk over to him, laying her head of curls against his shoulder blade in comfort.

“HOW MUCH WAS IT AGAIN?” JJ quizzed, the group of you sitting on the dock outside The Chateau in the middle of the night, nothing visible for miles. Just the stars in the sky and the sound of cicadas.

“Four hundred mil’.” Pope answered, staring out into the distance as he sat on the rail. 

“All right, let’s talk the split.” JJ started. “Now, before you say evenly, may I remind you that I am the only that can properly defend us from those groupers who were after us?” He tried, whirling the gun around his finger. “Protection? Not cheap.”

“You’ve done zero training.” Pope reminded him as you taught Kiara chords on her ukelele and John B sipped mindlessly on a beer, paying no mind to the four of you.

“Youtube, bro!” JJ argued back. “That’s at least a five percent bump right there.” 

All you could do was roll your eyes, Kiara’s strumming ceasing as she turned to Pope. “What’re you gonna do with your share, Pope?”

“...Pay for college in advance.” He nodded his head as he spoke with conviction, staring down at his knees. “And also textbooks. Those are expensive.” You couldn’t help but chuckle. You wondered what Pope was gonna do when he realized that school will come to an end one day. “What about you, Kie?”

“Yeah, what does a socialist do when she’s rich?” JJ poked.

“Just…wanna make a double album.” She shrugged cutely, a small smile playing on her lips. “‘Bout OBX, the pogues. Y’know, the way Catch a Fire is about Kingston. Record it at Marley Studio, Peter Tosh producing…”

You could help but make a face, turning to the girl next to you. “Peter Tosh is-”

“Peter Tosh is dead, I know. The Spirit of Peter Tosh will never die.” She spoke optimistically. “And what about you, huh?” She nudged your shoulder playfully. “Got any big plans for your cut?”

You stared up at the sky, a look of thoughtfulness on your face as you bit the inside of your cheek. “Travel.” You said simply, looking back at the friends around you. “With Marley, of course. Paris, Italy, Thailand, Japan… Oh! Bora Bora…” You spoke dreamingly. “I’d send you all postcards and, like, candy and shit from each place. I’d come back home every now and then, though.”

“You’d take the dog with you?” JJ questioned.

“Um, yes,” you answered like it was the easiest thing in the world. “...Marley and my guitar are the only things I really have left of my dad, everything else is memories and pictures, and I think taking Marley with me would be like taking him too, in a way. He always wanted to travel, anyway. Just never had enough money and too scared of planes. So, I hope the airlines are okay with me booking a first-class seat for a 65 pound Golden Retriever.” You chuckled. 

“I know what I’m gonna do.” JJ shrugged nonchalantly.

“And what’s that, blondie?” You whipped your head towards him, kicking your feet against the wood.

“I’m gonna get a big ass house on Figure Eight and go full Kook. Gonna get a marble statue of myself, and then I’m gonna get a koi pond.” You and Kie couldn’t help but share a look, bursting out into giggles.

“I’m never visiting.” She said through her fit of giggles, JJ simply shrugging at her statement and throwing a piece of grass he'd been rolling into a ball at you. 

“What’re you gonna do, JB?” Pope asked the boy who hadn’t spoken in almost an hour. You all anticipated his response, not even knowing if he would respond.

He simply smiled smally, not making any moves to look at you all. “...To going full Kook.”

IT WAS THE NEXT MORNING AND YOU HAD ALL ALREADY BOARDED THE HMS POGUE, A DAY OF SUNLIGHT NEVER WASTED. JJ whistled, lowering his shades and eyeing the boat coming towards you all and heading in the opposite direction. “You guys see that? That’s the Malibu 24-MXZ, the world's finest wakesetter. Number one in luxury, quality, and performance.” You liked seeing this “nerd” side of JJ — the one who knew heaps of information about bikes and cars and boats. 

“I hate to break it to you guys but that’s Topper and his girlfriend.” Kie spoke nastily, eyeing the couple coming into clear view next to the five of you. The two blondes eyed the group of you down without shame, even behind their blacked out sunglasses you could tell.

Sarah lifted the aforementioned shades from her face, giving you all a distasteful glance, eyes lingering on you and Kie before averting her gaze back in front of her.

“You don’t have to act like you don’t see us, bitch.” Kie spoke, not yelling but loud enough for the couple to hear if they hadn’t sped past you all. 

“Did you see the way Topper was clinging onto her?” You snarled, the statement directed more at Kie than anyone else. “I’d take more pride in the boat than her, if I were him. She’s probably already onto the next guy and he has no idea.” You concluded, sipping on your ice cold beer.

“SWEET LORD, THE INTERNET!” Pope practically cheered as the group of you ran into the study room of the Kook hotel that you were pretty sure you’d just snuck into. He ran to the computer, pulling out the map from John B’s backpack and wasting no time entering them into some website he was using, Earth Search. Lord knows how he found it but it was Pope you were talking about.

“34°57’30” north. 75°55’42” west…” He muttered, fingers going a mile a minute across the keyboard. 

“The continental shelf?” John B queried over the boy’s shoulder. 

“That’s off the deep end…” You pointed out, leaning over Pope’s other shoulder. The website continued zooming in on the destination, footsteps and voices outside of the closed door had all of your hearts pounding as you waited.

“It’s on the high side. That’s only 900 feet.” John B added after it had expanded enough.

“Only?” You questioned, eyeing him with a look that said ‘are you crazy?’.

“C’mon, that’s do-able.” JJ spoke up from behind all three of you. You turned to him with the same expression, standing up slightly from your bent over position and planting a hand on your hip.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Aquaman. Do you plan on guiding us down there?” You retorted.

“Will we be taking your personal submarine?” Pope backed up.

“Ha ha.” The blonde shot back at you both, grimacing. “No, smartasses. The salvage yard has a drone that can drop one-thousand. Three-sixty camera and everything. It’s exactly what we need.”

“Aaand can your dad get his grimy little hands on that?” John B asked.

“My dad’s grimy little hands are what got his ass fired. But the drone’s in the impound yard in the back.” Sly, hopeful smirks were shared amongst you all before you shot up, gathering everything and rushing towards the door, Pope at the end of the line shaking his head.

“Can’t we do anything legal for money?”

“WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN?” You asked from the back of the van that had just arrived at the impound lot.

“Because, you’re two hot teenage girls that have the power to entice the middle-aged man at the front gate.” John B told you bluntly. You curled your lip at his statement.

“That wasn’t creepy or mildly perverted at all… Let me out.” You demanded, JJ sliding open the van door to let you as Kie hopped out of the passenger seat. 

The two of you walked the short distance to the truck you’d be driving around the corner to the impound lot, Kie swinging the keys around her finger.

“We got this?”

“Hell yeah.” You smiled, giving your best friend a low high-five and hopping into the vehicle, engine starting as she twisted the key.

It was less than two minutes before you pulled up the gate, spotting the man inside of the booth to the left. You both got out of the truck, waving your hands to gather the man’s attention.

“Hello?” Kie called. “Excuse me?” The man’s attention was diverted from whatever he was reading, your presence prompting him to get up and out of his seat, leaving the tiny building to approach the gate from the other side, a stoic expression on his face.

“Can I help you ladies?”

“Hi,” You flashed a bright smile, shoving your hands in the back pockets of your shorts. “We have a flat tire.” You pouted, not missing the way his eyes roamed your frame for the briefest of moments. “We were wondering if you could help us out?”

The security guard looked around for a moment, as if maybe this was something he wasn’t supposed to be doing before nodding. “Yeah.” A mischievous smirk spread across his face.

“Yeah?” You reiterated cutely as he retreated back into his booth to open the gate. You turned to Kiara with a knowing look on your face, a playful side eye.

“How do you do that?” She asked with a small chuckle. You simply shrugged. 

“It’s all in the eyes.” You taunted, watching as the man returned. Leading him to the back of the truck, Kiara gave the guys, who’d been hiding, the signal to go.

“It’s this back one. Must’ve been a leak or something.” You gathered the older man’s attention, attempting to keep it on the truck for as long as possible.

“Probably just been sitting in the yard too long?”

“Yeah…” Kie cutely replied. 

“I got this.” The guard replied, trying to seem all macho and manly. You watched as the three boys slipped their way into the gate. It was silent for a few moments as he worked on the tire and you and Kie tried to keep a non-suspicious look out.

Minutes passed before a dog’s bark was heard, loud and incessant. The security guard paused in his movements.

“You hear that?”

“Hear what?” You and Kiara said simultaneously, trying your best to act unbothered.

“Tebow’s got something…” He pondered aloud. 

“Y’know how dogs are,” You scoffed with an awkward smile, trying to dismiss his concern. “He’s probably... terrorizing a squirrel or somethin’.” You offered.

“...Yeah, yeah.” It seemed to be a good enough answer as the man got back to working on the car. Suddenly, Kie was discreetly leaving your side and going to the other side of the truck, you questioned what she was up to before you heard the low hiss of air leaving a tire.

The guard must’ve heard it, too, his movements ceasing again before looking up. “Hey, where’d your friend go?”

“She, uh, had to pee really quick.” You tried to dismiss his concern carelessly.

“...There’s no bathroom out here.” He spoke, standing up to his full height now, equipment in hand. 

“Y’know, how it is,” You chuckled nervously under your breath , shoulders square as you became visibly tense and tried to side-step and block his path. “When a girl’s gotta go…”

He didn’t say anything back, quickly walking past you in wide strides to the other side of the truck, catching Kiara releasing air from another tire. “What’re you doing?!” She stuttered to find words before the man was dropping the equipment and running into the impound lot.

Your hands gripped your hair. “Shit.” You cursed, scurrying to get back into the truck with Kie. There was nothing you could do to aid the boys now. You could only hope they had enough time to grab the gear and go as you and Kie sped off.

AFTER REUNITING WITH GUYS, who had successfully stolen the drone, Kie offered to feed everyone down at The Wreck. The sun had gone and it was nightfall, the diner lit up dimly by the time you’d all arrived in The Twinkie.

“What I would do with a beer and shrimp 'n grits right now…” JJ longed, hopping out of the door.

“Amen.” You agreed. “The crimes I would commit for a single fry right now are horrendous.” None of you anticipated how hungry stealing drones, flirting with creeps, and running from dogs would make you. 

Upon entering The Wreck, you were met with shadowy lights and a few leaving guests, the restaurant close to its closing time. The boys ventured off into the seating area while you and Kie stuck around to greet her father. 

“Hey, Mr. C.” You smiled, greeting the older man with a hug. 

“Heyy, kid. It’s been a while. It’s good to see you smilin’.” He greeted back enthusiastically, patting a fatherly hand on your shoulder. 

“Hey, dad.” The girl hugged her father. “How’d we do?”

The older man sighed, shaking his head and drawing his lips into a thin line. “Didn’t turn it over once.” You and Kie shared a look of pity for him, small frowns on each of your faces.

“It’s probably just bad luck because of the storm.” The brown-haired girl tried to reassure her father. 

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to tell the banks that.” He grimaced.

“Guess now is not the best time to ask for free food for me and my friends?” She attempted sheepishly, peering back at the three boys eyeing the food like shelter dogs. 

Her father’s demeanor did a complete one-eighty. “Look at them,” He started, eyeing the trio of boys with disgust. “They’re greedy pelicans. I told you to stop hanging out with them.” He told his daughter, eyes drifting to you. “The both of you...” He added.

You hated the way Mr. C spoke of the guys. They were your best friends and he, himself, used to live on The Cut. He talked about them like a purebred Kook, like someone who has never known poverty. Sometimes, you thought he held a grudge against you for bringing Kiara into your friend group with them. But you’ve known her just as long as them. 

“Everybody at the Kook academy hates us, Dad.” She protested, shifting her weight and rolling her eyes.

“‘Cause you never gave them a chance.”

“We did give them a chance.” She argued back for the both of you, knowing you weren’t likely to step in against her own father. “They got all stuck up on us. They care more about shoes and coke than anything else, I mean, what’re we supposed to do with that?”. All the man could do was sigh, Kiara looking back and JJ, John B, and Pope pitifully. “Those are our friends.”

“Look…I gotta throw it out anyway, might as well take it.” He caved. Bright smiles broke out on both of your faces, the two of you encasing the man in a bear hug before releasing him and turning back to the three boys who were patiently waiting.

“Sit down.” Kie said, the guys cheering and pulling out seats. It wasn’t long before Mr. C brought the food out — french fries, crab legs, soda, chips.

The guys ate like they’d never eaten before. Maybe they really were hungry pelicans.

The Wreck had closed by the time you guys started eating though, allowing you to play music on the eatery speakers while you ate.

At some point Kie, who’d been dancing by herself, invited John B to get up and dance with her, the brunette accepting the invite. However, one absentminded glance to your left had you watching Pope, who was watching them. He looked sad.

You never thought about that — Pope having a thing for Kie. You couldn’t really picture that in your head but you still felt bad.

In a group of three guys and two girls, someone is bound to catch feelings for someone. 

Breaking your gaze on Pope, you looked around to find JJ staring at you. You flashed him a smile and tossed a fry at him to which he caught in his mouth, you both bursting out with laughter.

THE FIVE OF YOU WASTED NO DAYLIGHT THE NEXT MORNING, testing out the gear the second the sun reached its peak. Kie and JB were under the water helping to test out the quality of the camera, both of their faces seen on the pixelated screen.

“God bless geeks, Pope. Truly.” JJ spoke over the boy's shoulder. You were sitting on the wooden railing, legs swinging and adorned in nothing but your bikini. “What would we do without you to control the drones?”

“Technically, it’s not a drone, it’s an ROV-”

“Shut up. Shut. Up. It’s too early for that right now.” You chuckled under your breath at JJ's dismissal, you wondered if JJ and Pope ever got tired of bickering. They were like brothers or an old married couple, either or. Just then, the pair in the water came up for air, John B shaking the water from his hair and being the first to speak.

“Hey, once we get footage of the wreck, we’ll bring it to a lawyer in town and file a formal claim.” He threw out. “We can go through your mom.” He directed the statement at you.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, even if they were squinted from the sun beaming in them. “I wouldn’t trust my mom to help us. It’s like she’s been in cahoots with Shoupe ever since we moved to Figure Eight and everyone knows he really works for Ward.”

“Why would we have to do all of that anyway?” JJ asked the boy in the water.

“There is a maritime salvage law.” Pope cut in. “You can’t just go to the ocean floor and scoop a bunch of stuff up.” You’d been examining the equipment while they talked amongst themselves. Noticing something before speaking up.

“The tether on the ROV is really long. In the wrong kind of weather, it could get pushed around.” You said, turning to face them. “We should go at dead calm. It’s our best option.” 

“And today is not that day.” Pope said, eyeing the sky that was turning a dangerous shade of gray in the distance, a storm brewing. 

“YOU THREE GET THESE GROCERIES TO FIGURE EIGHT. GET STRAIGHT BACK HERE WHEN YOU DONE.” Heyward told you, JJ, and Pope. “I promised delivery by this afternoon.”

He handed JJ the last of the groceries, the blonde piling them onto the platform in the middle of the boat before Pope got the engine going. Heyward’s boat moved faster than the HMS Pogue, you were on Figure Eight territory within minutes, the boys eyeing the properties and estates like puppies.

“It doesn’t even look like the storm hit here…” Pope said, astounded, staring down one of the bigger houses. He had a point, the house looked like the storm purposely moved out of its way.

“It’s ‘cause they got generators, bro.” JJ began, his disdain for Kooks peeking through in his tone. “And then they say the juice will be out all summer at The Cut.”

“It must be nice to be a Kook.”

“Lucky bastards.” JJ shook his head, you simply ignored them. They weren’t wrong and technically, you were now a Kook yourself so you had nothing to add.

Financially, you were a Kook. But you’d always be a pogue at heart. 

“Isn’t that your place?” Pope pointed out, speaking to you. Your house was coming into view up ahead.

JJ whistled at it — the exterior was polished, the yard was kept, the trees were trimmed, no weeds or overgrown plants obstructing the view of the home. Your house wasn’t as old as most on Figure Eight, it has only just been built when your mom bought it a few months back. You could even see Marley running a muck in the yard from the boat.

“Look at that beauty. Must be nice going home to that every night, huh?” JJ poked.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the blonde. “You’d be surprised.”

YOU WERE ON YOUR LAST DELIVERY OF THE DAY,  the three of you had split up to get the last of the orders done quicker. You and JJ had completed yours but Pope had to go through the golfing trail behind the Country Club, so you’d figured he hadn’t finished yet and you both decided to go after him.

“You can’t seriously tell me that you don’t like living on this side of the island.” JJ kept nagging about how much life had changed for you. You wished he would drop it.

“It’s not Figure Eight that I hate, JJ. It’s the people. I don’t know them and they’re all assholes.” You started, walking alongside the blonde, watching the Country Club members golf. “I’d feel safer taking a walk on The Cut at night than I would here. Might get jumped by some coked up college kids.”

“Meh.” He started. “I wouldn’t let that happen. And if it did, y’know we’d find those guys and kill ‘em. Rocky Balboa style.” He joked, throwing air punches and making sounds that made you laugh. 

“What the hell?”

You heard someone exclaim in the distance, you and JJ sharing a look as your laughter died and you slowed in your steps. The voice sounded eerily like Pope.

“You owe me for that!”

The pair of you started sprinting, arriving just in time to catch Topper swing Pope to the ground after snatching the beers he was supposed to be delivering out of his hands. Pope was shoeless and his hat had come off, sand and blood littering his face.

“What the fuck?” You yelled, not even taking into account Rafe’s presence at the moment. 

“Hey, hey!” JJ shouted, running over to Topper and snatching him up by his collar. You didn’t know what was happening, all you know was that all of a sudden, Pope was charging at Rafe who was quick to whack him in the stomach with his golf club before hitting him over the back with it.

The sound of metal hitting his spine caused you to flinch. “Stay down, bitch!” Rafe screamed. You stood frozen in place, a fear you’ve never felt before. But you knew why. You were hoping, praying, pleading that he wouldn’t notice you were standing there. That he’d be too caught up in his own rage to see you.

Topper had managed to push JJ off of him in an effort to calm Rafe. You took the opportunity, with Rafe’s eyes on Topper, to try and aid your beaten friend. You kneeled next to him as JJ stood angrily off to the side, probably making sure Rafe wouldn’t try to pull anything else. 

“Pope…” You muttered, voice laced with concern as you examined his face — blood between his teeth and sand in his eyes.

Your hair was shielding your face slightly from Rafe’s view, you were sure. “Hey, no, don’t help him,” He started, raving and ranting. “I said don’t fucking help him!”

Breaking past Topper’s defense, the man stomped toward you before kicking you over, a grunt falling from your lips. With you now laying in the sand on your back, clutching your side in pain, he could see your face clearly with your hair splayed around you, no longer obstructing his view.

“Leave them alone!” JJ tried, but Rafe was quick to swing the club in his direction as Topper stood anxiously behind him, but his eyes were still on you. You hadn’t seen him in months, the same goes for him to you. All he did was chuckle, a laugh with no amusement behind it as he crouched down above you. 

Even while you were in pain, you managed to glare at him, a mean snarl on your lips as you tried to control your breathing but every intake of air hurt. “Where you been hidin’, sunshine?” He spoke softly but so menacingly. When his finger trailed across your bottom lip, you used whatever energy you had left to bite down on the digit. Hard. “Ah- fuck! You stupid bitch! I’ll-” He lifted the club up, preparing to slam it back down until Topper gripped his shoulder.

“They got it, man! Let’s just go.” He urged, Rafe eyeing your figure on the ground, breathing heavily like a bull. His eyes then scanned JJ and Pope before he spoke.

“We don’t want you over here, you got that?” He warned angrily, eyes landing on you once more. ��Any of you.” That was all he wrote before Topper was pulling him away from the scene, the two boys disappearing. 

Your mind was racing a mile a minute, probably faster. You rolled over, ignoring the searing pain in your side as you pushed yourself up. You felt a hand on your arm , trying to help you but for some reason...it just made you angry.

“I got it.” You strained out.

“Let me help you-” JJ tried.

“I don't need your help, JJ!” Then his hand was reluctantly leaving your arm and offering it to Pope who brushed him off in a less aggressive manner as you stood to your full height, a slight limp as you began walking away.

The walk back to the boat was silent — suffocatingly so. Nobody said anything when you boarded, or when Pope got the engine running, or when you passed all the houses on Figure Eight. 

You didn’t expect JJ to sit next to you, especially after yelling at him. “Listen, I don’t know what happened out there, alright? And maybe you’ll tell me or maybe you won’t but I mean seriously, are you guys just gonna let them get away with that?” He scoffed angrily.

“What’re we supposed to do?” Pope shot back.

“I don’t know, something, man! Anything!”

“...Turn the boat around.” You spoke up from where you were sitting, an idea sparking in your rage-filled mind.

“AND WHY NOT RAFE’S BOAT?” JJ spoke up from your place across the water, eyeing down Topper’s brand-new boat.

“Because,” You started, stripping down to your bikini. “Rafe doesn’t have boats. They all belong to Ward. This? This is Topper’s personal possession. So, we go for him.”

The answer seemed satisfactory enough for the blonde as Pope also took off his shirt. “They hit us, we hit them.” He said before turning to you specifically. “I know you’re a swimmer-slash-diver and all but I don’t think you should be swimming in your...condition.” He warned, eyeing the large bruise blooming along your side.

“I’ll be fine.” Was the last thing you said before jumping into the water, Pope splashing in close behind you. You both swam your way over to the speed-boat, jumping onto it. It took seconds for Pope to release the seal that kept the boat from sinking, water bubbling into the base of the wakesetter as you threw your fist against the windshield, effectively cracking the glass.

The pair of you dove back into the water, making your way back to a bandana and sunglasses clad JJ who was waiting. Climbing back on to the boat, Pope handed JJ the plug to which he chucked farther into the ocean.

“You can’t tell anyone.” Pope spoke breathlessly, watering dripping down his frame.

“I won’t, dude-” JJ assured

“No, not anyone. Not Kie, not John B, nobody, got it?”

“Got it.”

NIGHT HAD FALLEN ONCE AGAIN. It was like it never ended as of recently. You were all back at The Chateau, the events of earlier still fresh on your mind and the ache in your side still throbbing to remind you.

“You really think it’s out there?” Pope asked JB. The boy simply shrugged in response.

“My father thought it was.” 

“...But do you?” Pope reiterated. The sound of crickets and cicadas filled the silence as you all waited for him to answer, thunder rumbling in the distance.

“After hearing his voice on that tape? I think I do.”

 “We’re gonna find it.” Kie reassured.

JJ yawned, stretching on the hammock you two were sharing with Kie as Pope and JB shared the other. You and JJ were squished on one end with her on the other. “I’m gonna dream about shipwrecks.” He spoke through his exhaustion, his arm somehow landing behind your neck and curling it towards him, effectively shoving your face into his neck. “And I’m taking this one with me.”

“JJ!” You muttered against his skin as they all laughed. "Let go of me, Maybank!" Your muffled voice came through as you struggled to push the blonde away.

“Shh, just let it happen.”

IT WAS THE NEXT MORNING AND YOU WERE STILL HALF-SLEEP BY THE TIME YOU’D BOARDED THE BOAT. John B wanted to get a head start on this whole ‘X marks the spot’ thing and you’d reached the spot where the Royal Merchant was allegedly sunk by noon. 

“Alright, ladies and gentleman,” The brunette spoke, far too chipper for how early it was. “To going full Kook!” He cheered as he and Kiara lowered the ROV into the water slowly. They fed the cord down inch by inch, monitoring everything and JJ steered the boat.

“Alright, JJ we’re right over it!” JB called out. “Ten seconds northwest!”

“Ten seconds northwest, got it.”

You were leaning against the side of the boat, watching the screen with Pope as you struggled to keep your eyes open. The morning breeze hit you every now and then, in nothing but your bathing suit and a large shirt, a lazy attempt to avoid questions about what happened to your side until you could come up with an excuse that your friends would believe.

When Kie was about 400 feet of rope deep, thunder rumbled in the sky, causing your eyes to examine the ocean. “The tide’s turning.” You warned tiredly, perking up slightly at the change of events. John B directed JJ to change the direction of the boat, over and over again until they got it right.

The storm was getting scarily close, so close you could see it building in the distance. It suddenly got strong, pushing the boat back by at least a couple of feet. It became a frantic fight against the storm, with Kiara warning John B that they may lose the ROV and John B instructing JJ on how to navigate the boat while you and Pope kept an eye on the visuals.

Kiara was at 950 feet and you and Pope still couldn’t see anything, even when JJ managed to steady the boat once again.

“Okay, we’re on the floor.” You announced, signaling to Kie that she could stop feeding the rope. 

“You should be seeing something-”

��

“You see anything?!” JJ called from behind the wheel, the four of you staring at the screen in disbelief and relief.

“It’s The Royal Merchant.” John B said as you all watched the ship come into view, clear as day.

next chapter >

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

SVN Taglist; (let me know if you'd like to be added!) @esquivelbianca @fallingwallsh @calmoistorm @i-love-ptv @liability28 @rivaiken (striked means i'm unable to tag you!)

©loveharlow.

[david-watts]

vinyl ask - 7. 14. 21!

7. when did you first start collecting? I remember the specific date, it was the 23rd of september, 2017! I had wanted to start collecting throughout that year but it was not in the books for me until then and to be honest... probably for the best that I didn't have any records to worry about until after the 15th. but it's funny to think about the records I would have gone for had I been collecting earlier (aka I would have a lot more beatles...)

14. do you have any rarities/limited edition records? if so, how many? I literally Do Not Know off the top of my head and I will admit to you that a lot of my records are currently behind a shelf that I cannot be bothered moving... I have a couple of records made by 'local' acts back in the sixties/seventies which wouldn't be terribly common. I also happen to have a copy of 'metamorphosis' by the rolling stones, which afaik is hard to get your hands on. well. it's only the second time I'd ever seen it and I had no hope of affording it the first time that I did! I also have a copy of 'all along the watchtower' by jimi hendrix on a 12" single. I'll leave it there for now, I have a few other (mostly 12" singles, funnily enough) rarities or presumed rarities but three examples is good for now I think

21. which record in your collection is in the best condition? the records in the best condition that I have are all bought new, probably from jb hi-fi because I am a cheapskate, and there's I think two that haven't even been removed from their wrappers yet. to be fair in the case of 'everybody's in showbiz' by the kinks, that was the 2022 (was that the year? I don't remember at this point) remaster and it takes like six months between purchase for those things to even get into the country yet alone get shipped here and in the meantime I managed to find an old copy of it. anyway there are like six that are basically just taking up space on my shelf (LIKE I NEED TO DO THAT) because I have yet to actually play them. I have such a guilt about it though but like it's what. six records out of Fuck Knows How Many I Haven't Counted Them? lol. those would be in the best condition by nature of having never been played

anyway!! thank you for asking. fun fact I have run out of space on my one shelf that can fit 12" records so there's some not even on my shelves. send help

[rjzimmerman]

Excerpt from this story from Rolling Stone:

Former Rep. Lee Zeldin, Donald Trump’s choice to lead the Environmental Protection Agency, received millions of dollars in exchange for consulting, speeches, and paid op-eds, according to financial disclosure documents.

The payments, first reported by Business Insider, include $186,000 from op-eds and speeches alone. Zeldin also disclosed $45,475 in casino gambling winnings. He earned a $775,000 salary from Zeldin Strategies, which he opened after losing the New York gubernatorial race and leaving Congress in 2022, and between $1-5 million dollars in dividends from the firm. 

Zeldin is a conservative Trump ally and friend to the fossil fuel industry whose voting record is “remarkably anti-environment and anti-climate,” according to Food and Water Watch. As a member of Congress, he voted to slash the EPA budget by $2 billion dollars, cheered Trump’s efforts to withdraw from the Paris Climate Agreement, opposed legislation that would restrict corporations’ ability to discharge “forever chemicals” into waterways and supported weakening EPA standards in the Clean Air Act around particulate matter pollution. If he leads the EPA, he is expected to gut environmental regulations and cater to the fossil fuel industry’s demands. He has said that “energy dominance” is one of his top priorities in leading the EPA.

The former congressman’s financial disclosure shows he has been raking in cash in part by writing paid commentaries in prominent news outlets — without disclosing in those pieces that he has been paid to write them. 

In July, Zeldin published a column on Fox News’ website slamming New York’s Democratic attorney general for suing the massive Brazilian beef producer JBS for allegedly misrepresenting its climate impact.

“It’s the height of hypocrisy that the state is now targeting JBS for allegedly misleading consumers for coming up short of [its] 2040 trajectory while the state itself is also failing to meet their own unattainable goals,” Zeldin wrote.

Zeldin’s financial disclosure shows he was paid $3,000 for that commentary by CRC Advisors, the consulting firm chaired by conservative dark money maven Leonard Leo. While Leo is best known for his work building the Supreme Court’s 6-3 conservative supermajority, his firm has represented corporate clients, including oil and gas giant Chevron.

[trevlad-sounds]

Apta - Sun Sun Apta 2020

Tross - Kumla Revisited The Overview Effect Höga Nord Rekords 2018

Pabellón Sintético - Amelie Pabellón Sintético 2015

Paul Ellis - Ocean Immersion Music for The Space Between Atoms Cyclical Dreams 2023

Aarktica - These Days Fail to Bring Me Near Morning One (2023 Remaster) Projekt Records 2001/2023

Monochrome Echo - I Can See the Stars Moonkeeper Reckoning Spun Out of Control 2022

4T Thieves - Under The Wall Nomad's Requiem 4T Thieves 2023

Move D - Beyond the Machine Kunststoff (Remastered) AVA RECORDS 1984/2016

Stone Anthem - Through the Looking Glass Between The Bliss Castles in Space 2023

Ginger Root - Having Fun Mahjong Room Acrophase Records 2018

The South Coast Synth Ensemble - Sports Men Modern Electronics Volume 1 Castles in Space 2023

UFO Club - Smoke And Fluff Runa EP Invisible, Inc 2021

Rickard Jäverling - Bruised Banana Album 4 Höga Nord Rekords 2020

Panama Fleets - Cocobolo Heart Around Alone Sparkwood Records 2022

DJ Dorrit - Moogie MO_ACID Jeff Bridges Móatún 7 2023

Kösmonaut - Jagged Gene Transgressive Transmissions Castles in Space 2022

Touch Sensitive - Perfume The 36th Level Future Classic 2019

JB Dunckel - Sex Ufo Carbon JN Dunckel 2022

Manual - Miraparque Memory and Matter- Selected Remixes, Rarities and Unreleased Tracks 2007-2014 Awkward Silence 2008

Virgo - The Creation Of Typology Landform Code Fantasy Enhancing 2020

Harmonious Thelonious - Afterhour Cheapo Sounds Bureau B 2023

Ogle - Stalactites Cascade Preston Capes 2022

Beyond Our Galaxy - The Arboria Institute Surface Analysis Cyclical Dreams 2022

Binaural Space - Old Fields of Lithium Spacetudes Too Binaural Space 2023

Onepointwo - Throbbing Motor Lifeforms Solstice '21 Subexotic Records 2021

Cautionary Guides - Hundred of Wirral A Cautionary Drive Around The Wirral Castles in Space 2023

Uncle Fido - They Admire the Stars Tipentap Sauntering Day Binaural Space 2023

Felix Laband - Borc Love The Soft White Hand Compost Records 2022

viñu-vinu - Space Echoes from Afar Mystery Circles 2018

Jesse - Astral Waters Fluids Höga Nord Rekords 2018

[staxoftrax]

DECEMBER 16th NEW ARRIVALS!!

Well I had to just use my store sign again but another week of things a little haywire. This week it's w/ Square. So I just resolved all the issues so the new two boxes of great new arrivals won't hit the bins until I come in tomorrow morning. I will be in w/ them at the latest at 11am tomorrow morning. Some non-visual highlights include some multiple classic titles from Neil Young, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, The Grateful Dead, ELO, The Who, Led Zeppelin and some original UK XTC 12" EP's. Some killer one copy drops include Eno, Bowie, The JB's, Black Flag and Linton Kwesi Johnson.

Looking forward to a really fun day in the shop tomorrow.

Josh Ferko / Stax of Trax Records

[jbcorbanlawyers]

YOUR SHIELD IN TIMES OF CRISIS: EXPLORING THE EXPERTISE OF A CRIMINAL DEFENCE LAWYER.

In the intricate world of the legal system, the criminal defense lawyer plays a pivotal role in ensuring justice for all, regardless of the gravity of their alleged crimes. Particularly in Sydney and across Australia, where legal complexities abound, these professionals stand as the last line of defense. Jermaine Corban, the principal solicitor at JB Corban Lawyers, brings years of experience to the forefront. He leaves no stone unturned, delving deep into evidence and strategizing defenses to identify any potential loopholes. The Australian legal landscape is a complex maze, but Jermaine's profound understanding of legal statutes and precedents distinguishes him. Beyond legal acumen, he humanizes the accused, painting a more comprehensive picture for the court and providing invaluable emotional support. Precision, a track record of excellence, and a global-local perspective define his approach. Selecting a skilled criminal defense lawyer in Sydney, like Jermaine, is essential, as it can mean the difference between freedom and a life marked by irreversible consequences. Your future depends on this expert shield in the face of crisis.

Click Here To Know More: https://ezclassifiedads.com/0/posts/3-Services/21-Legal/1803452-YOUR-SHIELD-IN-TIMES-OF-CRISIS-EXPLORING-THE-EXPERTISE-OF-A-CRIMINAL-DEFENCE-LAWYER-.html

[jbstone-universe-blog]

(JB STONE RECORDS)

[dj-bouto]

Recorded somewhere under a swiss roof on september of 1999 after djing in Bern (Ch) with old friend Dj Jil-C from Radio Couleur 3.

 Keywords : Swag / Rug Munch / Tosca / G-Stone / K&D / Room with a view / Chocolate Elvis / i-Cube / F com / Funky Drummer / JB's / Mathematic Beats / Kodo / Dj Krush / Mc Sultan / Der Bauch ...

 #trip-hop #electronica #downtempo #dub #ambient

[jbroe]

The De-Evolution Will Be Televised: A Devo Comic, Part 1

The second law of thermodynamics states that entropy is inevitable. All things degrade over time, degenerating into chaos. No one knew this better than the new wave outfit Devo. Their manifesto of sorts outlined that humanity was not evolving, but rather de-evolving towards a regressive state. Initially more surreal performance art than a band, the Akron-based spud boys would eventually be flung into the limelight with hits like “Whip It” topping the charts, leading to numerous sold out arena concerts across the globe to spread their often misunderstood message. 

So what led up to this sudden explosion of interest in the band? Cartoonist JB Roe explores this question by digging into their rise to fame in this two-part comic, starting in 1977 when the band created their second single: an-off kilter deconstruction of the Rolling Stones’ classic, “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction,” during a simple jam session. More postmodernist disentanglement than a cover, “Satisfaction”—and the events following its recording—would lay the groundwork for the band’s career as an inescapable force as a wholly American institution.

Published by Riot Fest.

2021

[thegreatestofheck]

Ocean and Alcohol Pt. 9 ✘JJ Maybank✘

part one! part two! part three! part four! part five! part six! part seven! part eight!

(not my gif! all credit for this absolute beauty of a gif goes to rudypankows. Thank you for blessing us with this. Thank you.) 

Word Count - 5916 Warnings - A little swearing, brief mention of self harm Synopsis - The search for the gold is afoot. JJ visits you one morning and you say something you probably shouldn’t have. You and the Pogues find the Royal Merchant, but it isn’t everything you thought it would be.  Taglist -  @bitterbethany​​ @lovelymaybankk​​ @ilymarkchan​​ @downbytheouterbanks​​ @clearcolourlessglass​​ @obxwriterfan​​ @tangledinsparkles​​ @chill-sushi​  A/N - Hey guys! Sorry for the slow update on this one. I’ve been really struggling to write the canon scenes, but I think I managed decently with this one! Things are gonna start getting heated in the next chapter, so be ready for that. I pray that you guys are staying safe out there and doing all you can to fight for justice. I love you all. Never forget it. If you need me, my DMs are always open for any conversation you need to have. Please rely on your friend’s and even strangers during this time and take care of yourselves! As always, stay safe, stay healthy, stay groovy. 

Listening to John B sob was heart-wrenching. His father’s words echoed in your own head as John B clung to the wall, the only thing that was keeping him from falling to his knees. Kie curled herself around him in an attempt to hold him together. Part of you wanted to hug him too, if it would stop the sound of him crying. It broke your heart and you weren’t sure why. 

After what seemed like a lifetime, John B managed to stifle his tears and stand up straight. Kie stepped back and away, closer to you. John B turned to look at you guys and you saw the tears that still ran down his face, eyes rimmed red. 

“Why...Why don’t we go get some fresh air?” You suggested when no one said anything. There were a few half-hearted nods from the others. Kie was the first to move. She plucked her ukelele off the floor before walking out the front door. Pope and JJ followed after her. 

You waited, watching as John B put his hand back on the wall to keep him steady. His eyes were glued to the tape recorder on the table. You took a shaking step toward him and placed your hand on his forearm. He flicked his eyes over to look at you. With a small nod, you gave his arm a short squeeze. 

The fresh air was good. The Chateau had begun to feel stuffy, unwelcoming, like a dark cloud loomed over the building. So, when you left, the night air was comforting. The darkness of the night was starting to fade as the moon started to dip toward the horizon. You would need to get home soon, at least for a few hours. But for now, your friend needed all the support he could get and you weren’t about to leave him. 

The five of you sat on the dock, everyone except for Pope perched on the railing. You sat beside JJ, one of his hands resting on your knee. The night was silent, save for the sound of the water lapping against the dock and Kie strumming her ukelele. 

“How much was it again?” JJ asked, breaking the silence. A single light shone above John B’s head, illuminating the tears on his cheeks and the grimace in his lips. 

“Four hundred mil,” Pope said, tapping his foot. JJ sighed, sliding his hand off of your leg and turning to face the others. You suddenly felt cold at the loss of his touch. 

“Let’s talk split,” he said. You closed your eyes so he wouldn’t see you roll them. “Now, before we say evenly, may I remind you that I am the one that can properly defend us from those groupers who were after us.” 

JJ pulled the gun from his pocket and you glared at him, sliding off the railing to sit next to Pope. You hated that thing in his hand. You hated it because you wanted it so badly. 

“Protection isn’t cheap,” JJ continued as John B took a long drink from his beer can. 

“You have no training,” Pope said. You wished he wouldn’t feed into JJ’s antics. You pulled your legs up to your chest, settling your chin between your knees. 

“YouTube, bro! That’s at least a five percent bump right there.” 

“You haven’t-”

“Any objections?” You lifted your head, hand following. “Didn’t think so.” 

You rolled your eyes and put your head back down. Kie raised her hand with a small shake of her head and Pope scoffed. 

“I didn’t hear any, so-” JJ said, shrugging his shoulders. 

“What would you do with the money, Pope?” Kie asked with a small smile, trying to turn the conversation away from JJ. 

“Pay for college in advance,” Pope said as if he could see it happening right in front of his eyes. “And also textbooks. Those are expensive. Elm?” 

“Wait til I’m 18. Hire a damn good lawyer and get my brother the hell out of that house,” you said, raising your beer can as if it was a toast. Or a promise. 

“You’re going to use your money to move out?” Kie asked. You nodded your head, taking a drink. 

“Once I get custody of my brother and settle us somewhere safe, you guys can have the rest,” you said. You finished off the rest of your beer, watching the water through the wooden railing. “What about you, Kie?” 

“Yeah, what does a socialist do when she’s rich?” Pope asked, turning to his friend. Kie laughed, but she looked up at the sky, thinking. 

“I just wanna make a double album,” Kie said with a smile on her lips. “About OBX. The Pogues. You know, the way Catch a Fire is about Kingston.”

You smiled at her idea. There was something so wholesome about it. She looked so free to do whatever she wanted with her money. She was going to take it and do something she loved with no obligations, no fears, no worry. You were almost jealous of her. 

“Record it at Marley Studio, Peter Tosh producing-” She continued, a dreamer’s smile still on her face. You smiled along with her. “Peter Tosh is-” Pope started. 

“Peter Tosh is dead, I know.” Kie raised her can of beer. “Spirit of Peter Tosh will never die.” 

“Amen,” you echoed, lifting your empty beer can. 

“I know what I’ll do,” JJ said, looking down at you. “I’m gonna get a big ass house on Figure 8 and go full Kook.” 

“You’re gonna go full Kook?” Pope asked in disbelief. 

“Yup,” JJ said. You looked back at him and smiled. “Gonna make a marble statue of myself, and then I’m gonna get a koi pond. Put a bunch of those fish-”

“I’m never visiting,” Kie said with a laugh. 

“Can Kid and I come live with you?” You asked, only half-joking. 

“Of course, Babe,” JJ said, ruffling your hair with his hand. You swatted his hand away from your head, but with a grin.  

“What are you going to do with the money, JB?” Pope asked, looking over at his friend. Everyone else turned to him. His face was set in stone, staring out over the water. Finally, he nodded and turned his head into the light, looking at his friends. There was a small smile pulling at the edge of his lips. 

“To going full Kook.” 

***

You drove back home, your mind reeling. The Pogues had their plan to go to the hotel where JJ worked to look up the coordinates that John B’s dad left for the Royal Merchant. You could feel the gold at the tip of your fingers. The answer to your problems, the fulfillment of your dream to get your brother out of the clutches of your father, was right there. You could see it in front of your eyes and you wanted it now more than ever. It killed you that you couldn’t be beside them the entire time, but you had to be extra careful now more than ever if you really wanted to get Kid away from your dad. 

It was around 4 in the morning when you flopped into your bed. Sleep consumed you rather quickly. When you woke up at 9 the next morning, you wondered if you were ever going to get a good night’s sleep with all the time you spent running around with the Pogues. 

Your dad was already at work when you woke up. There was a note on your door from Kid, telling you that he went over to Dex’s until Dad was home. It made you smile. You were glad that Kid was comfortable enough to leave the house under Dad’s nose. You had always wanted him to have a normal life where he could just go over to his friend’s house without fear of being punished for it later. 

You would wait around until your friend’s needed you, as you always did these days. Instead of moping around, you turned your music up as loud as it would go and started to clean the kitchen. Cleaning the kitchen slowly became cleaning the dining room and then cleaning the foyer until you had cleaned almost the entire downstairs. A knock at your door startled you, spinning around to look at the front door. 

You looked over at the clock, wondering who might be there. Kid and Dad would have just walked through the front door without knocking first. You tried to tell yourself that it was probably just the mailman. Walking across the room, tiptoeing, you heard the knock again. 

A smile broke across your face as you pulled the door open to find Pope and JJ standing on your porch. 

“We have a delivery for, uh, ‘one hot babe’,” JJ said, pretending to hold a package under his arm. You crossed your arms, leaning against the doorframe with an amused smile on your face as Pope groaned. 

“I’m sorry. I think you have the wrong house,” you said, tilting your head to the side. 

“Oh no,” JJ grinned, eyes scanning your body. “This is definitely the right house.” 

“God, okay, please stop,” Pope begged, squeezing his eyes together. “Elm, we need your help.” 

“Of course,” you said, standing straighter. “What do you guys need? Did you guys find anything?”

“Yeah, we found the place where the coordinates are. We just have to get a drone to get us down there,” JJ said. 

“We’re stealing a drone,” Pope said, side-eyeing JJ. 

“It’s not stealing. It’s borrowing.” 

“We are taking a drone from its rightful owners and using it for our own, selfish purposes.”

“Okay, stealing or borrowing, whatever. What do you need me to do?” You asked. JJ and Pope both turned to look at you. 

“We need to borrow your car.” 

***

You drove behind the van, Kie sitting in your passenger seat. The windows were rolled down and music thrummed through the car. Kie hand her feet sticking out the window, bouncing her legs to the beat. 

“Can I tell you something?” Kie asked suddenly, turning to you and lifting her sunglasses onto her head. 

“Sure.” 

“You have to promise not to laugh at me.” 

“I would never laugh at you, Kie.” 

“Okay, here goes.” Kie sucked in a deep breath. “John B kissed me.”

You nearly stomped your foot on the break. 

“What?”

“Yeah, a few days ago. I didn’t want to say anything at first, but John B already told the boys and I didn’t want you to feel left out of the loop.”

“I, um, I appreciate it, Kie.” You cleared your throat. “Did...did you kiss him back?”

“I just want to be friends with him,” Kie said, looking back out the window. “He knows that. I told him.”

“I don’t really know what I should say, but I could punch him if you’d like,” you told her, glancing over in her direction. Kie laughed and shook her head. 

“Thank you for the support, Elm, but you don’t have to punch him. I just don’t want it to be awkward is all. You know I…” Kie looked down at her hands. “I wasn’t there for him when his dad went missing. I’m just trying to make up for it now, but I guess I was sending some signals that I hadn’t meant to.” 

“I’m sure John B knows you’re there for him. And the air is clear now, right? He knows that you want to be just friends so you can go back to doing all the silly friend things you did before without feeling awkward, right?” Advice wasn’t something you were entirely good at. You had never really had to give it to anyone before. Or pep talks. But Kie smiled at you and then turned to look out the window. 

“You’re right.” She dropped her sunglasses back onto her nose. “Thank you, Elm.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

You two fell quiet once again, listening to the music. Maybe one day you would be able to sit with someone, listen to their problems, and give them sound advice, but you guessed that today wasn’t that day. 

Up in front of you, JJ stuck his head out of the van window. You couldn’t help but smile when he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue like a dog. 

“What an idiot,” you mumbled to yourself, hiding a smile behind your hand. JJ blew a kiss to you from the window. You made a display of catching it and pressing your palm against your cheek. 

“You’ve got that boy whipped, you know,” Kie said, watching with a smile. You turned to look at her, hoping she would elaborate. “When you’re not around, he barely stops talking about you.” 

You weren’t sure why your smile started to falter. 

“He’s got me pretty whipped too,” you said, watching the wind blow through his hair. He lifted his face up to the sun and you felt your heart warm at the sight of him. 

“Yeah.” Kie smiled. “I can see that.” 

You drove up to the salvage yard, seeing the van a few feet back. As you and Kie stepped out of the car, you looked back to get a thumbs up from each of the boys. You returned it with a smile. You and Kie both walked up to the gate. 

“Hello?” Kie waved at the security gate. “Excuse me?” 

You smiled as sweetly as you could when the guard walked up to the gate. 

“Can I help you, ladies?” The guard asked. You looked over at Kie and then bit your lip. “My car,” you said. “It has a flat.”

“Do you think you can help us?” Kie asked, with a smile all her own. 

The guard looked back and forth between the two of you for a moment before his lips twitched upward and he nodded his head. 

“Yeah, I can help.” 

“Yeah?” 

He turned back toward his guard shack. You turned to Kie, both of your smiles dropping. 

“It’s too easy,” she said, squinting against the sunlight. 

“Way too easy.” 

When he came back out, carrying a toolbox, you waved him over toward your car.  

“It’s the back one,” you said as Kie leaned up against the door of your car. “It wasn’t like this when I left the house. I have no idea what would have caused this to happen.”

“Well,” the guard said as he set his tools down and crouched to the floor. “If you hit something sharp on the road…”

As he explained it to you, you met Kie’s gaze and rolled your eyes. She shook her head and laughed quietly, looking at the ground. When you glanced up at the gate, you saw the boys scamper into the salvage yard before the gate shut. You could only hope they’d find the drone quickly. 

But time ticked on and the guy was almost finished with the tire. You met Kie’s gaze again and it was clear that she was thinking the same thing. With a small motion of your head, she went around to the other side of the car to try and let air out of another tire. You lowered yourself to the gravel and gave the security guard a smile. 

“Thank you for helping us,” you said, reaching out to put a hand over his as he started to put his tools away. “I wish there was some way we could repay you.” 

The guard gave a soft smile, not the kind that you expected. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, pulling his hand away and closing his bag. “Just glad I could help.” 

You stood after him and hurried after him as he walked to the other side of the car. There was a series of barks from inside the salvage yard and you sincerely hoped that it was just JJ barking at snakes again. The guard scowled, stopping and staring at the gate. 

“What was that?” he asked. 

You shrugged, jumping up onto the hood of your car. 

“Nothing important,” you said, kicking your feet back and forth. You brought his attention back to you for a few moments, before he walked a few steps farther and saw Kie desperately trying to let air out of another tire with her hair clip. 

“What’s going on?” He asked, looking up quickly when the barking sound returned. You glanced down at Kie, who looked up at you, cringing. Neither of you had the chance to say anything before the security guard took off back toward the salvage yard. 

“Shit,” Kie hissed, pushing herself off the ground. “We gotta go.”

“The boys-” 

“They’ll be fine.”

You slid off of the hood of your car and jumped into the front seat, starting the car. You drove off as soon as Kie was in the other seat, only feeling sort of bad about leaving the boys behind as you rattled down the street, away from the salvage yard. 

You met up back at the Wreck, starved and exhausted. When you saw the boys pull up in the van, you let out a happy sigh and walked toward them. Pope was the first one out of the car, still shaking from the adrenaline. You walked up to him and threw your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. 

“What happened in there?” you asked, pulling back and moving toward JJ.

“There was a dog,” Pope said as he walked toward Kie. 

“Yeah, we heard it,” Kie said. 

“Thought you guys were going to distract the security guard,” JJ said, wrapping an arm around you as you stepped up to him. 

“Eh, we tried,” you said. “Maybe we should have sent you to seduce him instead.” 

JJ grinned. 

“That probably would have worked better. I’m very seductive.”

“Yeah, you are,” John B piped in, walking around from the other side of the van. 

“Come on in, guys,” Kie said. “Dad’s got some food for us.” 

“I love your dad,” you said, moving to follow after her as she and Pope walked up the ramp. But JJ pulled you back, putting his hands on the side of your face and pressing a kiss against your lips. You smiled, looping your fingers through the belt loops of his pants to pull him closer. 

He broke the kiss and brushed a piece of hair behind your ear. 

“What was that for?” You asked him, trying to bite back a smile. JJ shrugged, dropping his hand to rest against your collarbone. 

“I haven’t been able to kiss you yet today,” he said. 

“In that case, maybe you should do it again.” 

He leaned down with a smile, but before his lips could touch yours, someone knocked on the glass window. You both turned around. All three of your friends were standing there, holding plates of food. Pope faked a gag. John B held up a thumbs up. Kie held the food up higher. 

“Should we go in?” You asked, looking at them still. JJ sighed. 

“It does smell pretty bitchin’,” he said, running a hand down your bare arm, leaving goosebumps. You leaned up on your toes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before turning toward the Wreck. 

***

The next day, your dad hadn’t gone to work, which meant you weren’t going out. 

JJ knocked on your window pretty early in the morning. You had to tell him that you couldn’t go. He pouted, but you grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and pulled him closer. A short kiss from you and his pout was gone. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said, only a breath away from him. JJ nodded his head, not taking his eyes off of your lips. 

“I’m sure they would be cool if they had to wait a few minutes for me,” JJ said, breathing heavily. You smiled, leaning down and kissing his nose. The tips of his ears burned red. Before you could retreat back into your room, JJ grabbed hold of your chin and pulled you back to him. 

Your stomach butterflied when his lips met yours, goosebumps littering your skin. You melted at his touch as his hand left your chin, finding it’s resting place on the nape of your neck, the metal of his rings cool against your skin. Every cell in your body wanted to pull him into your room right then and there, but with your dad right down the hall, you knew better. 

Still, you took your sweet time. 

He still tasted like the beach. Salt and sand on his lips and you never wanted anything more. You could feel his heart pounding in his chest and it was beating to the same rhythm as yours. 

JJ tugged gently on the bottom of your shirt, his teeth grazing against your skin. A quiet gasp escaped your lips when you managed to suck in an ounce of air. Hearing JJ struggle for breath made your stomach flip in a thousand different ways. After what Kie told you in the car about him and the way he kissed you know, confidence grew inside of you that he could possibly like you just as much as you liked him. Maybe, somehow, he needed you the same way. 

Neither of you wanted him to leave. If you could stay here, leaning out of your window, you would. Even though you were still in the house that brought you so much pain, the house that had you tiptoeing around like the floor was made of shattered glass, being near JJ made you feel safe. A word floated through your head, a word that you had never been able to claim before. 

Home. 

You hadn’t meant to say it, especially not then. The words had been playing in your mind for days, weeks maybe. Every time you looked at him, every time he looked at you, every moment you were just sitting there together, every sound of his laugh, every time he smiled, every time he made you dance. The words bounced throughout your mind, always at the tip of your tongue. And every time you had managed to keep the words locked behind your teeth. 

Up until now.

“I love you.”

You regretted the words as soon as you said them, pulling back through the window. JJ just stared at you, his lips parted and his eyes wide. Your face burned and your heart constricted in your chest. If the floor could open up and swallow you whole, you wished it would. Oh, to be anywhere other than where you were right now. You shouldn’t have said it. You should have just kept it to yourself. 

“I, uh, I have to go,” JJ said, turning away from the window. Ice settled against your bones, freezing you from the inside out. The sun was hot and blaring, but still, you started to shiver. 

“Yeah. Yeah.” You refused to look at him and he wouldn’t look at you. “Say...say hi to everyone for me.” 

“Sure.” 

“See you.” 

“Yeah.” 

You watched, pressing your lips together as tight as you could, as he climbed down from the roof. You didn’t want to watch him run across the grass away from your house, so you pulled the curtains together. 

Your hands shook as you pressed your fingers to your temples, pacing back and forth. You weren’t going to cry, there was no point in it. It was stupid. It was the heat of the moment, you said something you shouldn’t have. You would apologize when you saw him tomorrow. There was no need to panic. 

Still, your heart thudded so painfully, it hurt your ears. It felt like you couldn’t breathe all over again, like you were drowning, but not in the good way. You thought you were going to be sick. Sweat beaded down your neck as goosebumps still scattered across your legs. You thought you might combust from the inside. Part of you wished that you would. 

When someone knocked on your door, you whirled around, still dazed. You quickly pulled your hair up into a ponytail in an attempt to hide your panic before calling out to whoever was on the other side. 

Kid peaked his head in. 

“You good?” He asked. 

“Yeah, why I wouldn’t be?” you scoffed, tucking your hands under your arms. 

“I saw JJ running across the grass and then I heard you pacing. Just wanted to make sure.” 

“Yeah, Kid. Everything’s fine.” 

“Okay, well, tell him to be more careful next time. Dad might see him.”

Next time. After what you did, you weren’t there was going to be a next time. 

“Sure, Kid. I’ll tell him.” 

“Also, Dad wants our help with something. Might want to put on some fresh lipgloss.” 

As your hand shot up to your lips, Kid closed the door with a smirk. You huffed to yourself, doing as your brother suggested, before trotting downstairs with your best attempt at a smile. 

“Hey, Kiddo!” Your dad was in the kitchen still making breakfast. “You look a little sunburnt. You been going out?” 

“Just been tanning in the backyard,” you lied quickly, sliding into a chair. “Thought I might as well.” 

“I’m sorry you can’t go out more, sweetheart,” he said, passing you a plate of french toast. “I just want you to be safe and there’s nowhere safer than home.” 

You smiled and took a bite of toast so you wouldn’t have to respond. It tasted bitter in your mouth, despite the syrup and powdered sugar. You couldn’t believe how heavily your father deluded himself. This house was probably the place where you were the least safe. At least you didn’t feel so trapped anymore. 

“Why did you stay home from work today?” You asked, staring at your plate of food, trying to swallow what felt like ashes in your mouth. 

“Just wanted to hang out with you guys today.” Your dad sat across from you with his own plate. “There’s some more work to do outside from Agatha. I see that you and your brother haven’t really been doing it yourselves, so I thought I might as well kick you guys into gear.”

You swallowed a lump in your throat and you smiled. 

“Yeah, sounds good.” You knew better than to mention the fact that you had cleaned the house yesterday. It would just make things worse. 

“Good. Finish your breakfast and then get your ass outside.” 

Your dad picked up his plate, shoving his share back as he stood. You flinched, turning back to your plate. He stormed out the front door. You looked over at Kid, who held his hands tight in his lap. 

“It’s okay, Kid. Enjoy your food,” you said with an attempted smile. Kid looked up at you with only his eyes, not lifting his head. In hopes to convince him to eat, you took another bite, despite your entire body’s reaction being to throw it back up again. 

Slowly, Kid started to eat again. 

The day passed with no problems aside from your dad being a passive aggressive douche bag. You wanted to make sure that Kid had sunscreen on so that the burns already on his back wouldn’t get worse. But your dad locked the sunscreen in your house and refused to unlock the doors to let you grab it. He wouldn’t even let you inside to get water or use the restroom. 

By the end of the day, you were almost glad that your dad had you doing manual labor throughout the day because you hadn’t thought of JJ since that morning. Of course, once you laid down back in your bed, it all came flooding back. 

You slammed your face against your pillow and screamed as loud as you could. How could you be so stupid? Not being able to hold your tongue when you should have was always an issue for you. Now, here you were, in the pitfalls of that fault. 

Regret floated around you like a cloud. One knick in your wall and the flood came pouring out. You were no longer worried just about JJ, but fears overcame you about your friends, your mother, Ms. Lana, your dad, Kid. If you had just shattered your relationship with JJ, where would that put you with John B, Pope, Kie? They were his friends, but were they really yours too?

Maybe that’s why your mom really left, then. You were too clingy, too comfortable, too needy. Maybe you told her you loved her too many times. Maybe she was sick of looking at you. 

You were crying before you even realized it. The floodgates had burst open in your heart, and that was reflected by the tears that streamed down your cheeks. 

You were alone in your room, maybe that was a sign. Maybe that’s where you were supposed to be. Alone. Alone. 

The thought forced a sob through your tightened jaw. You pressed the back of your hand against your mouth to keep any more from bouncing around your empty room. Still, the sobbing shook your body, chest heaving. You bit down on the back of your hand until you tasted blood, clamping your teeth down to keep yourself from making sound. 

Your eyes fluttered shut as pain finally sparked through your hand. At first, your reaction was to pull your head away, but you didn’t when you realized that it took your mind off of the thoughts. You kept your hand in your mouth until you fell asleep. 

***

The next day, you were sitting in your room with a book in your hand. When the knock came to your window, you snapped your head upward. Pulling the curtain open, your heart sunk when you saw Kie sitting there, waiting. You tried to smile at her as you pulled your window. 

“Hey,” you said. 

“We’re finding that boat today, Elm,” she said, a childish grin on her face. “You ready to be rich?” 

“Hell yes.” 

You followed her out to the car, hoping in the back before thinking about what you said the day before. 

“Hey, Elm,” Pope said, holding out his fist for you as you climbed inside. 

“Hey.” You smiled. John B tapped your shoulder with his hand as you settled into the seat behind his and you swatted him right back. When you finally made eye contact with JJ, that same painful ice shot through you again, burning to ash in your stomach. You pressed your fingers against the back of your hand through the bandage you wrapped around it, feeling the pain once again. 

“What happened to your hand?” Pope asked. You looked down and tried to smile. 

“Oh, you know, burned it trying to make breakfast this morning,” you said, giving a short laugh. 

“You really are terrible at cooking.” You looked over at JJ and there was a smile on his face, as if nothing the day before had happened. You smiled back, hoping that you could forget it yourself. 

“So, we’re getting this gold?” 

“You bet your ass we’re getting that gold, Elm!” John B drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, banging his head to his own beat. 

As the five of you stepped onto the boat, JJ grabbed your wrist and turned you around. 

“Hey, we good?” He asked, brushing his thumb against your wrist. You gave a few short nods, unable to look him in the eyes. “Ellie-”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re good.” You leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before turning and hopping onto the boat with everyone else. 

The day was supposed to be calm, but as soon as you made it to the spot where the Royal Merchant was supposed to have sunken, waves started to ripple across the water. You watched with growing alarm as a storm started to roll closer and closer to your small boat. John B called out for JJ to move the boat this way and that, but the current was too strong. You could feel it pulling the boat faster than he was able to move it. Kie called out how far down the drone was. You could feel the tension on the boat, or maybe it was the static from the storm. 

You weren’t sure which. 

“It should be right here,” Pope said, glancing up. You and Kie ran over to where John B and Pope were staring at the screen. 

“Where is it?” 

“I don’t know, Kie.” 

“Wait,” you said, pointing at a darker spot on the screen. “What’s that?”

As Pope got closer, your heart dropped into your stomach, a smile breaking across your lips. 

“What is it?” JJ called from the wheel. No one said anything for a moment, mouths dry. John B started to smile as more of the ship came into view. 

“It’s the Royal Merchant.” 

JJ let out a holler from the front, but the more you all looked at the screen, the more your smiles started to fall. A heavy rock settled in your stomach. The gold wasn’t there, there was nothing but an old wreckage. 

“It’s not there,” John B said. You could see the heartbreak on his face. “Just, pull up the drone.” 

Thundered rumbled in the distance, making you look up from the screen to the darkening sky. 

“Shit,” John B breathed. 

“Look, we can do another pass. Recharge the battery,” Pope protested as John B walked away. “We...we can go back down!”

You fell back against a cooler, staring at the bottom of the boat. The gold was there, you could feel it on your fingertips, yet it was just out of reach. 

“The gold could be buried, we don’t know!” Kie shouted over the wind as it started to pick up. 

“If the gold was buried, we would see it on the metal detector,” John B said, leaning against the side of the boat. You dropped your face into your hands. 

“Somebody beat us to it,” John B told them. 

“Or it was never there.” You could hear the anger in JJ’s voice. He turned the wheel a little too harsh and you grabbed hold of the railing to keep from toppling off of the cooler. No one said anything until you were all back onshore. 

Still, there was silence when everyone stepped off. The urge to cry was right there, but you held it back. If anyone should be the most disappointed, it should be John B. You couldn’t help but think about that life you almost convinced yourself you could have had. 

As you walked away from the boat toward the van, you kicked the rocks beneath your feet. JJ walked up behind you, lacing his fingers through yours before you knew he was there. You turned to look toward him, startled at first. But then he smiled down at you. You could see the disappointment in his eyes, but there was still a smile on his face. You squeezed his hand as he brought your knuckles up to his lips. You didn’t even realize it was your wounded hand until you saw the bandages. 

It all felt stupid now. The breakdown, the biting, the tears. Maybe you had freaked him out, you had freaked yourself out, but that didn’t matter. Cause here he was, by your side. 

You smiled back, bumping his shoulder with yours as you walked back to the car. 

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

We’ve got the blues

Tonight is all about the blues - the musical kind! Big Top and Agent S are performing all weekend after days of rehearsing. They've been inspired to form a blues duo after watching a documentary on music history. I'm really digging their sound and now I want to look into more bluesy artists!

Joining us at the camp on an impromptu vacation are Storm, Buddy, and Sam. It's nice to see Storm and Buddy again and an even bigger surprise to see Sam, who I haven't seen in what feels like forever. In fact, I didn't even know they were around the area - Peace Coast Island, to be specific.

So, what would these three be doing in a place like Peace Coast Island? Storm's the only one who really has a reason to fly up to the island from Airy since he's a recording artist at a studio over there. Ever since he started performing at Golden City, Storm has been getting back into writing songs and recording music.

And he's not the only one who's been hanging around the recording studio. In fact, Storm's working on two projects at once - a new single and an album with the Airy Community Choir. That's why the three came up to Peace Coast, to record some music and make plans for the choir album.

The upside of being friends with musicians, particularly recording artists, is that you get teasers or early access to new material! After we got lost in the Floating Petal Garden, Storm was struck by inspiration and with Sam and Buddy's help, it became a song that hopefully marks the start of a promising future. Us campers were spoiled by hearing the recording and a live performance. If this song doesn't get Storm some well deserved recognition, then I don't know what will.

In Hopes and Dreams is a song written by Storm, Sam, and Buddy. The song's about grief and how the ones you love can hurt you a lot by leaving. The unexpected death of his cousin/Buddy's brother led Storm to thinking about how losing loved ones through death leave the kind of scars that stay with you for life. Then Sam came along, contributing to the lyrics based on his own experiences with grief, particularly with Ellie's death - something he rarely opens up about.

In a way, working on that song was kinda therapeutic for the guys. Buddy's doing a lot better since I last saw him, which is good. Sam's lyrics were inspired by a conversation with a grieving Buddy, where he mentioned Ellie, leading to a moment of vulnerability for the two. He was the one who pulled Buddy out of a deep depression as if it wasn't for him, Buddy wouldn't have gone to the Floating Petal Garden with us.

The lyrics themselves are a strong point of the song, and knowing the story behind them makes it hit even harder. It's an emotionally driven song, one that gets you thinking about the impact you leave on people. The song also makes you think about your mortality, how your absence will hurt the ones you love the most. How sometimes you can love someone with all your heart and be kinda mad at them for leaving you. It's a feeling we all know too well - Buddy with his brother, and Sam with his wife are just a few examples that stick out.

After hearing In Hopes and Dreams for the first time, I knew that I'd be listening to it on repeat for a while. Not only it got me thinking about my own feelings with loss, it also got me wondering about Sam and Ellie.

I've met Ellie a handful of times and she was a lovely person, one who I wish I could've gotten to know better. Sam and Ellie were happily married, a sweet love story that was sadly cut too short. Not too long after Ellie May, also known as Little Ellie May-Berry, came along, Ellie was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer. She passed away a little less than a year later, leaving behind a young grieving husband and a daughter who would sadly never get to know her mother.

In the years that passed, Sam rarely spoke about Ellie. Though it's becoming harder for him now that little Ellie May's asking questions about her mom. Along with Buddy dealing with his own loss, Sam was kinda forced to finally deal with his unresolved grief. Working with Storm on In Hopes and Dreams gave him an outlet for those emotions he had buried for the past six years, finally putting that part of his life to rest. It's a slow process, but he says it's getting a little easier to talk to Ellie May when she brings up her mom.

In Hopes and Dreams came together in a matter of a couple of days. The demo was recorded at Sam's house with Storm on lead while Sam provided a guitar accompaniment and backing vocals along with Buddy. Since this is the first song Storm has written in almost a year, he wanted to strike while the iron was hot and arranged a recording session with Lawrence as soon as the demo was done.

With the demo going super well, Storm became inspired to record some songs with the choir. At first he wasn't so sure if everyone would be on board to do an album but they were quite enthusiastic about it. Nothing's really set in stone on that yet but Sam and Buddy have already recorded some demos and Storm's working out arrangements for recording sessions.

So Storm, Sam, and Buddy flew to Peace Coast Island earlier this week to record In Hopes and Dreams. With JB Lesedi as producer, the recording sessions went smoothly and quickly. I know some lucky friends who have worked with JB, who's not easy to get. Storm got lucky as JB's schedule happened to clear up, making him available on short notice. Knowing him, he saw potential and immediately got to work on the song. Like in the demo, Storm sang his heart out while Sam and Buddy provided backing vocals.

Along with recording In Hopes and Dreams, the guys also did some work on the choir project, which JB offered to help out with. Sam sang Precious Memories and Buddy sang Just a Closer Walk With Thee, both which sounded great. I knew Sam can sing, but hearing him front and center shows how great he really is. Buddy's also got a good voice, though I shouldn't be too surprised since he often joins Sam when he pulls his guitar out. The Airy choir's quite good so I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of the album when it's finished.

After finishing up in the studio, Storm took Sam and Buddy around the island. They also visited Spectrum Falls and Golden Sunset Hills, two other places where Storm often visited when he lived around the area. Then, instead of heading back to Airy, the guys decided to drop by the camp since it's not too far. They've been enjoying the islands, the city, and the campsite. It's always nice to have old friends dropping by for a visit.

As for the blues, Storm and Sam have been getting into the beat. Big Top was looking for vocalists so it's a good thing the guys came along. It's fun seeing the four of them make music together!

As expected, the guys enjoyed fishing at the creek and the ocean. I brought up the idea of them coming back to the camp during a tourney event and they were all for it. Sam hopes to bring his parents, sister, and Ellie May along. It's been ages since I last spoke to Franny and little Ellie May's growing up so fast - I'm so looking forward to seeing them again! And of course, Storm and Buddy will be there too - in fact, they're pretty much honorary members of the Beryl family at this point.

The cousins have been enjoying hanging around OK Motors fixing up RVs. Buddy's got a knack for fixing up anything that has an engine. He even managed to disassemble and reassemble a car inside the courthouse once - an impressive feat, though a bit of a mess for the town council to deal with. It's so good to hear him talk about the shenanigans he and the guys get up to in town - the whole car in the courthouse incident being a sign that Buddy's slowly getting back to his old self.

Sam has been busy with the town council and raising Ellie May. As of two years ago, he became the head of the Airy town council so he spends most of his time running things there. Franny took over from Frawley as pharmacist at the drug store a couple months ago after graduating last year. His dad's still with the newspaper and his mom's with the clinic. Little Ellie May's a bit of a handful, curious and excitable as ever. Of course, most of the pics on Sam's phone are of Ellie May being her adorable self. I'm excited to see her again, though she won't remember me.

It's been fun seeing the guys hanging out, bantering and joking around like they would do in Airy. Sam even brought his guitar for an impromptu singalong. I should drop by there for a visit someday, it really is a nice little town. Storm's been living there for less than a year and he already feels like family, fitting in seamlessly with the townfolk. Things have changed quite a bit, but it's still the same old Airy.

Since finishing up with In Hopes and Dreams, Storm and Sam have been working on some new music. Storm's not sure exactly what direction he wants to go if he were to record a new album so he's playing it by ear. Not only Sam is a talented guitarist and singer, he's also got a knack for writing lyrics.

Sitting out here under the stars with the guys while listening to Agent S and Big Top playing the blues - it's a fitting way to unwind after a busy day of fishing and hiking.

[shprka]

SZPURKA'S FIC RECS 1 – HARTWIN EDITION

I’m starting my #CommentForChristmas bullshit with one of my oldest fandoms - the Kingsman fandom that I watched die after the second movie which I’m forever sad about because Kingsman: The Secret Service is my favourite movie. It was also the first fandom I was active in and the first fandom that made me realize fandoms can be a safe space and most of the people there were lovely and awesome and cool and because there Hartwin was the major ship there was little to no ship wars and hate on ships I could see in some of the major fandoms and I hated it and I hate it now, please we all like fanfics and fanarts and different ships, why must we fight all the time instead of encourage each other?

I hold the Hartwin ship and Kingsman fandom close to my heart and that’s why I started with this. They’re not all the fics from my bookmarks, because I honestly don’t remember some of them, because I read them so long ago, but there are some fics I hold close to my heart and after reading a lot of different fic and being in a lot of fandoms, I still love them deeply and I hope you can find something for yourself and made it read some of the stories I mention and give the authors some more love :D

The Spy who Loved Me (Or so they say) by ToriCeratops/54k/Explicit

In the wake of V-day the world’s economy hangs in a delicate balance, liable to crumble without warning. One man has the knowledge and the power necessary to send it tumbling down, so that only he remains on top.

The Kingsman have been tasked with stopping him before he can carry out his plan. In order to do so, Harry and Eggsy must act as lovers at an elite couple’s getaway to earn this man’s trust. Will they be able to carry out their mission as planned? Or will old wounds and buried emotions cause a havoc greater than anything they could have expected?

Lagavulin and Guinness by Snarfle/164k/ Explicit

Plenty of people had looked down on Eggsy throughout his life. He had gotten fairly used to it. Didn't mean it was fair, but he knew how these things worked. What really sucked was that the new Arthur was worse than the old one.

“Eggsy grimaced. He didn’t know how to explain to Harry – who seemed like he hadn’t been discriminated against a day in his life – that the new Arthur kept giving him what amounted to suicide missions, and that he was currently bleeding out in a warehouse because of the deliberately bad intel she had given him.”

Also featuring: Dean is harder to get rid of than Eggsy thought, his mum is going off the deep end, there are way too many nefarious plots in play, and Eggsy is really beginning to wish that Harry would stop holding his hand and kiss him instead.

The New Age by DivineProjectZero/3k/Teen

It starts with being cursed.

No, scratch that. It starts with a garden and a serpent. And no, it goes a little differently from what you’d think.

Welcome Home by AuthentiKait/4k/Mature

"Eggsy, I've come to take you home".

Warning: It's literally Eggsy dying of old age and then afterlife.

Inherent Violence (and again now, and now, and now) by laudatenium/11k/Explicit

He wants it, all of it. He wants to lock him away forever, keep his warmth and light secluded, reserved only for himself. He wants to posses Eggsy, to own him entirely.

But he can’t. He’s slaughtered men who do the same to others.

On occasion, he finds it funny how he is willing to excuse his own dark impulses, when he would destroy anyone who tried the same. But selective morality is a common feature of man’s.

The Beneficent Gentleman by mongoose_bite/35k/Mature

An act of heroism sees an unusual offer made to one Eggsy Unwin; if he can get accepted he can go to Oxford, all expenses paid. All he has to do in return is pass his classes, and keep his mysterious benefactor informed as to his educational progress via the old-fashioned medium of the handwritten letter.

An AU loosely based on Daddy Long-Legs.

My End and My Beginning by Cqueen/103k/Mature

Eggsy's mission is to go back in time, find his stupid target, and keep the barmy bastard from ruining his life and the world in general by turning the Kingsmen against him or harming Harry. And no one way he's failing Harry again this time, even if Harry is making it even harder on him then he'd expected.

And for the bloody record, Merlin, he really hadn't meant to pick Harry up at a bar neither. It just sort of happened.

Crap.

the mother of necessity by TheSilverQueen/22k/Teen

"How ironic is this?" Gazelle says softly to Eggsy. "I am Arthur’s sword, forged to protect humanity at all costs. You are Athur’s bane, born to destroy humanity at all costs. And yet here we are, fighting on opposite sides."

* * * * * *

An Arthurian reincarnation AU where Gazelle is Excalibur and decides that if two world wars aren't seen as a need great enough to summon her Once and Future King to save Britain, she's going to make a need great enough for Arthur to be reborn - through any means necessary. And so Excalibur draws herself from the stone and goes about doing exactly that.

magic in your fingertips by venvephe/103k/WIP/Explicit

Nearly all of them have left when Merlin ducks close to him, murmuring over the din of the remaining excited students, “Look; it’s your favorite Hufflepuff-Gryffindor do-gooders.”

Merlin says it with wry affection, and Harry glances over his shoulder to the stragglers still exiting the back of the train.

He spots Miss Morton right away, long blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail as always, robe pressed and immaculate - she’d grown taller over the summer, but is as graceful as ever as she hops the gap to the platform, joining her waiting friend. She rightens the sleeves of her robe and then smooths her hands across the young man’s shoulders, grinning as she tugs his robes into place, and he bats her hands away to fuss with the knot of his gold-and-black tie.

Harry’s eyebrows twitch together. “Is that-?” he starts, and pauses abruptly when the pair turns towards them and Harry fully sees the young man’s face.

It’s Eggsy Unwin.

Out of Left Field by VillaKulla/87k/Mature

“Now there was just one more thing,” Merlin said, addressing the sweaty, bedraggled, footballers clustered around him. “There’s been a change of ref.”

Eggsy and the rest of the UK Kingsmen looked at their coach expectantly and he raised his eyebrows.

"Harry Hart."

(Football/Soccer AU)

Eggsy Unwin Body Language Analysis by TurtleNovas/38k/Gen

A meta taking an in depth look at Eggsy's body language throughout the entire film (specifically in relation to the characters of Harry, Roxy, Merlin, JB, Arthur, Dean, Gazelle, and Valentine), using gifs I made as reference points. Very heavily saturated with Hartwin (which is why I tagged it in the Hartwin tag).

Through Time bycoloursflyaway/163k/Explicit

A chronic of Harry’s and Eggsy’s love, following them from their first meeting to the last time they set eyes on each other, through shots in the head and falling in love and finally getting their shit together.

GO GIVE YOUR FAVOURITE AUTHORS AND ARTISTS SOME LOVE THIS CHRISTMAS!!!

You don’t have to post your comments on tumblr like I did or tag me or anything. Just comment on fics you enjoyed on ao3. Or artists on tumblr or tweeter. Or do a fic recs like I did. Or private message someone. Artists and authors need words of encouragment like everyone else. And seeing as christmas can be a sad and preasuring time for some, please send them some love!

[taexual]

HOLIC - 19 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: angst-ish

words: 4.5k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

               prev / next

You thought you’d heard Jaebum come back home in the middle of the night – and he was alone by the sound of it – but you didn’t bother to get out of bed and check although you did get concerned when you heard him trip right outside of your bedroom. He must have headed straight for your room, already having used to sleeping there, but then remembered and changed his mind.

Turning to your other side, you huffed and tried to return your mind to the peaceful state of slumber where you didn’t have to worry about your confusing relationship with your roommate and your excited heart when you thought he was going to open the door of your room and strike up a conversation with you despite it being so late.

You couldn’t seem to fall asleep again, though. Instead of that, your mind chose to occupy itself with the analysis of why you and Jaebum could not find a way to make your friendship work even though Jaebum was so ridiculously good at chatting up girls. You weren’t—obviously—and could not meet a normal guy to save your life, but opposites were meant to attract, right? You’ve analyzed yourself and him, too – your similarities and your differences – so many times before, never coming up with a way to explain why this wouldn’t work.

But maybe life wasn’t always simple like that, maybe you couldn’t make side-by-side comparisons of your similarities and your differences. Maybe, in certain situations, you had to compare your good traits to his bad ones or vice versa.

The key to explaining why Jaebum was so good at relationships—or the lack thereof—and you were so bad was, of course, hidden in your past experiences, current attitudes, and expectations. After having to endure a toxic girlfriend for the majority of his adult life, Jaebum seemed to settle for anything as long as it wasn’t long-term. You, on the other hand, constantly expected the best from everyone and, clearly, didn’t want a lazy hook-up or… whatever the thing with Jiho was.

Naturally, the difference in attitudes could have been applied to relationships that weren’t necessarily romantic – like your somewhat-of-a-friendship with Jaebum – as well. You were looking for depth – but so was Jaebum! – except, while you didn’t mind opening your heart up for someone, Jaebum preferred to lock his feelings in a giant stone fortress that no amount of cannon balls could break down. Sometimes, you found yourself wondering if you’d manage to find a different way to reach inside of him and were alarmed to learn that you were truly willing to dig and crawl under the walls around his heart just to get to the feelings that he was keeping hidden inside.

And, with a startling realization, you understood that this wasn’t just natural curiosity. Everyone was drawn to mystery because figuring out something that puzzled so many others was satisfying and even rewarding in a way. But this wasn’t the case anymore. You didn’t want to understand Jaebum better because no one else could. You didn’t want to take a peek into his mind so you’d be at an advantage.

No. That wasn’t the case at all. You wanted to listen to him, to hear him, to get to know him, in spite of understanding. You’d have plenty of time to analyze the whys later, right now you just wanted to know him.

Jaebum was a book that you were forced to start reading against your will and yet there was always something that made you keep turning the pages despite not particularly enjoying what was written. He had drawn you in and, at first, that frustrated you – the book wasn’t even good, it toyed with your mind and you knew you should have put it down and picked something else up – but slowly, the words you’ve been reading became beautiful. It was partially your fault – you may have picked up the pen and tried to cross out some phrases that you didn’t like, bravely changing the book yourself – but, aside from that, everything else was out of your control. You were reading now because you wanted him.

Each of the words you’ve hated before turned out to be transparent and you could already make out the traces of the sentences that used to be there before. You wanted to know what was written here before and you wanted to know what would be written here next. You wanted to spend hours on every page, learning and analyzing everything until you’ve memorized each word by heart. You wanted to keep reading it—him—because now you’ve gotten to the most beautiful part that made you feel so much more than just personal satisfaction and you could not, for the life of you, imagine yourself ever putting this book down even if all that was written was gibberish. Even if, the further you delved into the book, the less you understood.

Understanding him no longer mattered as much as getting to know him. You didn’t really care if you couldn’t understand what made him this way, you just wanted to know all about him -- his thoughts, his feelings, and his emotions. You’d make sense of them eventually, you hoped. But right now you just wanted to read as much of him as possible.

It should have probably worried you – you’ve never craved something like this before – but, aside from the initial surprise you’ve felt when you’d realized the lengths you were willing to go for Jaebum, you didn’t think this was all that unexpected.

The only thing that worried you now was the future – as it always did – because you did not know if you’ve permanently stopped the progression of your relationship with Jaebum by talking to Suji even if he claimed to have forgiven you for that and had resumed to an old routine that the two of you knew so well – sans the fighting, of course, but, just like Jaebum had said, it was only a matter of time before you got into another argument.

On top of that, you had Jiho to finish dealing with. You’d have to find a way to talk to him and the sooner the better, or else you might never fully calm down or, worse, forget about him completely as your worries about Jaebum often seemed to overwhelm you and completely distract you from every other problem you might have had. It was helpful in a way, but also completely unhealthy. You felt like someone had knocked your head right off of your shoulders whenever it came to Jaebum and you proceeded to make all the wrong decisions—

There it was again. You couldn’t come up with a way to deal with anything that did not involve Jaebum because, eventually, your every thought lead back to him. He was the worst and the best distraction. A blessing and a curse at the same time, if you will.

Groaning again, you lied down on your back and focused on the thick darkness in your bedroom. Not even the streetlights outside of your window seemed to illuminate your room when it was this late in the night so it wasn’t surprising that you couldn’t fall back asleep after you’d woken up. It was almost natural to fall deep in thought at a time like this instead, so you accepted the fate of suffering from your buzzing, never-ending stream of thoughts – and stupid, unrequited feelings – the entire night. Again.

After a yet another sleepless night – God knew you had too many of those since you moved in here – you got out of bed just before nine, which had to be some kind of a personal record since you loved to stay in bed until, at least, midday on Saturdays.

You weren’t ready to leave your bedroom just yet, though, because leaving meant confronting your life – and your roommate – and you still considered your head too big of a mess for it. The only thing that would have helped you clear your head was solving at least one of the issues that had been keeping you awake at night and, because you still did not have a clue what to do with Jaebum and the weird space between acquaintances and friendship that the two of you had entered, you realized you had to deal with Jiho instead.

Texting him felt weird but, honestly, so was calling him. And yet, you figured you couldn’t really explain yourself properly through texts, so you ended up dialing his phone number. As soon as you heard the first beeps, you started to realize that the possibility of him not picking up was actually very high. He’s just had a pre-show for his photography exhibition, he probably finished several bottles of champagne, he might have even hooked up with one of his models—

“Hello?”

You cleared your throat in surprise. “Uh, hey. Sorry I’m calling you this early.”

“It’s fine,” Jiho replied, his voice unusually chirp. “I would have probably called you myself if you hadn’t beat me to it.”

“Hmm,” you swallowed. “Really?”

“Yeah. You’ve sort of bailed on me last night,” he said, chuckling in a way that told you that he wasn’t disappointed or mad at you. He just seemed to be confused. “So, uh, did something happen?”

“Not really,” you said, putting your defenses up because you just couldn’t help it. You could be honest with yourself in the privacy of your own mind – that’s the only place where you could admit that you did not like to be just one of many -- but you could not find it in yourself to confess your real problem with Jiho’s show out loud. “I just ended up not feeling well – uh, worse than when I’d arrived – so I figured it’d be better if I just left and had an early night. I, uh, I called because I wanted to apologize for that. I hope the show went well.”

“Oh,” was Jiho’s response. He sounded like he was expecting you to say something else or, maybe, like he didn’t find your excuse believable enough but he didn’t consider it worth his time to question it. “Well, no worries. The show was alright. Are you feeling better now?”

“Mmhmm,” your throat was closing up as your eyes scanned your room wildly, hoping to find any source of strength to continue this conversation and say the things you’ve actually called to say.

Eventually, when your gaze landed on your photo camera, resting on the floor by the door of your bedroom, you realized this was it. You had to say something about Jiho’s exhibition because one day, you were hoping to host an exhibition of your own. If you wanted that, you had to learn how to stand up for yourself or else you’d never make it in this world as a photographer. You were not okay with Jiho using a picture of you without consulting your first and you were definitely not okay about him not making his intentions clear when he was seeing you, but right now, only addressing one of the two mattered.

Postponing your own shame – because hurt had escaped you and shame was all there was, really – of having assumed you and Jiho were exclusive, you took a deep breath and finally spoke.

“Listen,” you started slowly, carefully choosing your next words. “I don’t feel comfortable with you using a picture of me for your exhibition.”

He was mostly quiet on the other end but you thought you’ve heard him snicker.

“I had a feeling that was the case,” he said, his voice unexpectedly light. “Do you want me to take it out of the exhibition? Because you should have just said so from the very beginning.”

“I know,” you bit your lip. “I’m sorry. I—can you actually take it out or is it too late?”

“It’s my exhibition, I can make changes to it whenever I want and however often I want,” Jiho replied. “I’ll do it if you don’t want it there. But just so you know, I think that piece might be the most beautiful in the whole collection.”

Right. But you were still just one of many beautiful girls photographed for his series and it wouldn’t have mattered that much – and you had hoped it wouldn’t – if your pride hadn’t been hurt. If you hadn’t been left feeling so stupid about expecting something romantic from him when all he needed from you was just an inspiring face.

“Thank you,” you said a little hesitantly. “I know it might cause you extra problems since I’m telling you about this so late. Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I’ll take it out. Is there anything else that’s… bothering you?”

He must have suspected it. Of course. You weren’t exactly overly creative with your excuses and it was clear that something else was the matter. Maybe he even had some idea as to what was it exactly that made you leave his show early but whatever it was he’d suspected, you’d have rather not heard him say it. You were already ashamed to admit to yourself that you were stupid enough to think you and Jiho were exclusive where it was so obvious that you weren’t, you couldn’t bear hearing him say it.

You’d thought about coming clean to Jiho about your feelings—for him and for your roommate—and that seemed like the most difficult thing ever before you realized that, actually, this was nowhere near as hard as admitting that you’ve been expecting something that Jiho was never going to give you.

“No,” you said, the desperation to end this phone call suddenly getting the best of you. You’ve told him about the picture. That was the most you could do and any heart-to-hearts you could have had with him had to wait for, at least, a year until you stopped feeling so embarrassed about how eager you were to brag about finding a potential relationship. “No, that’s all. Uh, sorry once again. I hope your exhibition goes well.”

“Will you be there?” he asked, not noticing your rushed voice. “Even if your picture is not in the exhibition, I’d like it if you came.”

His question confused you.

You hadn’t assumed Jiho was with you because he needed to get one picture of you since it made no sense, he’d have stopped hanging out with you immediately after photographing you if that was the case. But now that you knew how many acquaintances – or was it friends? Colleagues? Students? – who were about as close to him as you were he’s had, you didn’t think you were all that special to him and, thus, you found yourself pondering over the possibilities why he’d still want to keep in touch with you. There weren’t many of those, actually.

Number one possibility was, of course, that he wanted more pictures of you. But it wasn’t likely since you’ve just asked him to remove the one picture of you that he already had – this had to tell him that you weren’t really going to model for him. The second possibility was that you’d been wrong and Jiho was actually interested in you romantically, but you dismissed it immediately after remembering the way he’d conversed with the other girls at his show. There was no noticeable difference between the way he spoke to you and the way he spoke to them. Well, perhaps the only difference was that he could tell you were new to this kind of situation and suggested introducing you to the others. But he never made it seem – not even now as he wondered what problems you could have had with his show – as though you and him were more than just two people who’ve spent some time getting to know each other in the most platonic way.

Jiho didn’t strike you as someone who was looking for new friends -- since, as you got to see, he already had plenty of those -- so, the final – and the most realistic, in your opinion – possibility, was that Jiho wanted you to remain as one of the girls he knew. One of his girls. Not necessarily a friend -- and certainly not a romantic interest -- but rather, a person that he knew.

Maybe he was planning more exhibitions in the future and, if he couldn’t use your pictures, he could use your presence. However distasteful the idea seemed to you, you had to admit, stepping into that restaurant last night and immediately being surrounded by so many beautiful women did feel somewhat overwhelming and if you felt like this, you could only imagine what the typical male journalists would feel.

You may not have been popular, but popularity was the last thing that mattered at events like this – anyone could look like a celebrity if they wore expensive-looking clothes and had their make-up done in a way that would have put movie stars to shame. Jiho’s exhibitions wouldn’t just attract art lovers if his guests looked like you’ve seen last night. They’d attract everyone. More and more people would find honor in being invited to a show that so many beautiful people attended and thus, Jiho could turn photography shows into high-class social gatherings.

“I’ll—I’ll try to come,” you finally told him, not wanting to give an immediate negative response because that’d only raise more questions.

“Okay, that’s good. You’d really brighten the atmosphere if you came but I’ll understand if you’re not able to,” Jiho said, and it was either your overly active imagination or he had basically confirmed your suspicions – he was, indeed, hoping to gather an attractive crowd of people at his exhibition. Huh. You truly were nothing more than just another pretty face to him. “Uh, thank you for the call. I’ll go fix everything now, but, uh… I’ll see you at the gallery on Tuesday, right?”

God, that’s right. You couldn’t end this phone call and then delete Jiho from your life – there was no way in hell you were going to help him build an elitist heaven at his exhibition if that was indeed what he was planning to do – because you still had to see him at your gallery as he put the final touches on his exhibition. Immediately, you started to wonder if you could call in sick this Tuesday.

Inhaling deeply, you forced yourself to smile, hoping that it would make your voice sound more genuine. “Right. Of course. See you there.”

Jaebum was already in the kitchen when you walked out of your room another ten minutes later and you realized that despite spending the whole night thinking about him and even--sort of--getting rid of one of the things that had bothered you, you still didn’t feel prepared enough to see him after getting your mind entangled in one big ball of confused feelings last night.

“Hey,” Jaebum said, noticing you standing awkwardly in your doorway. “What time did you get home last night?”

“Fairly early,” you replied, tip-toeing into the kitchen as the floor of the apartment seemed to make your bare feet freeze. “I saw your note. Did you have fun?”

“I guess so,” he shrugged his shoulders, handing you a bowl and a box of cereal once you sat down on the stool across the kitchen island from him – both of you in your usual positions. “It got kind of annoying when my friend got drunk and started chatting up every girl he saw at the bar we stopped by later, though. I had to drag him home and I think I passed out in the cab on my way back, too.”

So, Jaebum might have gone girl-hunting with a friend last night while you were busy speculating if he was purposefully avoiding coming home so he wouldn’t have to spend more time with you than it was necessary. Realizing that he could have brought another one-night-stand home with him but didn’t made you exhale in relief but it still didn’t really soothe your anxiety.

“I think I heard you come home,” you said, avoiding his eyes as you poured yourself some cereal, considering how much you cared about the fact that it was socially unacceptable to drink this early in the morning. You could have really used a shot or two since the wine from last night didn’t do its job properly.

“Yeah? Sorry if I woke you up,” Jaebum replied. “How did your night go? How was the date night with Jiho?”

You cringed at the word.

“Uh, not good,” you said, lifting your gaze to find him looking genuinely curious to find out why. You weren’t going to risk it and see if Jaebum would mock you for expecting too much from Jiho, though, because you didn’t think you could handle that right now.  “We’re not—it didn’t work out. Our hearts were just... in different places. I’m not going to be seeing him anymore. Hopefully.”

He could tell you were trying to dismiss this and, even though you had pushed Jaebum to talk about Suji when the topic came up, he wasn’t going to do the same with you right now; partially because the circumstances surrounding the two break-ups were very different, – Jaebum had never really ended his relationship with Suji while you never had any relationship to end in the first place, apparently, – but also because it wasn’t often that he saw you look this miserable and confused, and he was almost afraid to make it worse.

“Oh,” was what he said instead. “A-are you okay?”

“Yeah, no, I’m fine,” you nodded, chewing on a mouthful of cereal. You swallowed before you continued, wanting to change the topic so you wouldn’t have to describe the embarrassing outcome of your non-relationship with Jiho and the awkward conversation you’ve had with him today, “I stopped by Mark’s bar last night, though. I thought that’s where you were going to be.”

You didn’t really know why you brought this up. You already felt overly-anxious and even pathetic when Jaebum had left you a note, telling you not to wait up for him – you couldn’t even describe why the simple note had made you feel like a dog, waiting for its owner, who’d have rather been anywhere else, to come home – and now you’d just admitted you were actually looking for him last night. What a way to make yourself look as stupid as you were feeling.

“Really?” Jaebum seemed surprised to hear this. “I wasn’t with Mark last night.”

“Yeah, he told me you might be with Jackson,” you said and noticed many different emotions change on Jaebum’s face until he finally settled on confusion. “Mark might have also mentioned that you were recording music at Jackson’s studio.”

Confusion quickly turned into awkwardness as Jaebum broke eye contact and looked away. You would have told him how proud of him you were for working on his music but something in the atmosphere had shifted, and you chose to stay quiet instead.

“Of course Mark would mention that,” Jaebum said, no longer sounding as laid-back as before. “Why, um… why were you asking him about my friends?”

The question sounded far too accusing and it took you a moment to get yourself together after you noticed the almost condemning look in his eyes.

“I wasn’t,” you said, starting to worry if you sounded guilty, although you didn’t know what you’ve done wrong. “I just asked where you were and Mark—”

“I have more friends than just Mark,” Jaebum snapped suddenly and you were starting to fear you’d get whiplash. “Are you expecting to know all of them?”

How had his mood changed so quickly?! What was it that you’ve said to him? Surely, he couldn’t have been getting this defensive just because you’d mentioned his music.

“N-no,” you said, straightening in your seat so your posture would match his at least a little bit. “I brought Jackson up because I had no idea you were recording music. I-I’m glad you are. I didn’t mention him to show off my knowledge about your friends or whatever. I know I don’t know all of them and t-that’s fine.”

“Hmm,” he turned around, giving you a moment to replay his words in your mind in hopes of understanding what had just happened. “Are you doing anything today?”

“I’m—I don’t know,” you said, trying not to blink in case you’d miss another mood swing. “I guess I’ll try to meet up with my own friends.”

“Right,” he nodded as if content that you had plans today and therefore, he didn’t have to worry about staying home to keep you company. It would have been a nice sentiment had he not looked so displeased when he continued, “I’m going to be meeting up with Jackson again today,” he paused, “but if you want to—”

“Okay, hold on,” you stopped him, refusing to dismiss what had just happened. “You just—are you aware you nearly bit my head off not a minute ago? What’s up with that?”

Jaebum – as you should have seen coming – merely shrugged. “Nothing.”

“Jaebum,” you said, unsure where your take-no-bullshit attitude had emerged from. If only it would have revealed itself twenty minutes ago, when you were struggling to talk to Jiho. “You made me explain how I know your friends, what—”

“It’s fine. I was just—just confused about something,” he cut you off, his previous irritated mood sticking its’ head out again as he gave you a vague excuse as an explanation. “Look, I have to head out now. I’m not sure when I’ll be back but I’ll try to text you. Do you need anything from the store?”

Aside from medicine – and alcohol – for your inevitable headache after all the conversations you’ve already had today? No, you didn’t really need much of anything.

“No,” you said, choosing not to push this anymore since he was too stubborn for you to handle. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” he replied but the seemingly pleasant exchange didn’t help clear the awkward atmosphere in your apartment.

You stayed in the kitchen while Jaebum went to get ready in his room, probably still avoiding his thoughts and feelings that caused him to lash out all of a sudden – which was the exact opposite of what you were doing as you toyed with your now empty bowl of cereal and attempted to understand what had happened.

It seemed as though in the span of barely fifteen minutes, Jaebum managed to look genuinely concerned for you after you told him you weren’t going to see Jiho anymore, and then turn it all upside down as soon as you mentioned that you were looking for him at Mark’s bar. And then, he returned to his previous self and was almost ready to cancel his plans to hang out with you by the looks of it.

Was he actually concerned for you or was the note he’d left you last night actually a subtle warning that he was not going to be your diary and your shoulder to cry on, and you should have never expected him to be, just like you’d feared? Or did he just get protective about his music as soon as you mentioned knowing that he’d been recording?

Maybe one of you had misunderstood something that the other had said. Or maybe Jaebum had just revealed to you that he’d only forgiven you for talking to Suji on the surface, but deep down, there were still wounds that you’ve ripped open by refusing to listen to what he was telling you, and you would continue to pour salt on these wounds each time you’d mention something about his personal life. Like his friends, for example.

Whatever the case was, you clearly couldn’t confront Jaebum about it because he only opened up once in a blue moon and you had a feeling you’ve just started to go through a period of very dark, moonless nights.

This was exactly what you’ve spent the whole night thinking about. If only you’d know what he was feeling, if only he wouldn’t hide his emotions as soon as he caught himself losing control, you wouldn’t have to bother analyzing his actions. You’d know he was upset or angry. You wouldn’t be stuck in this gray area where you knew Jaebum wasn’t a robot without any feelings, but you did not know the extent of whatever was it that he’d been feeling in a particular situation.

Sighing because of Jaebum – you barely ever sighed for any other reason anymore – you got up from the stool to wash your bowl and, hopefully, refrain from looking for an explanation about Jaebum before you drove yourself crazy.

He was still very much a mystery and even though his secret thoughts and feelings annoyed and frustrated you, you also couldn’t help but feel even more drawn to the real him, the one hiding behind this mask. You’ve already caught glimpses of his real feelings when he lost control – and they all came out in a burst of anger, but, in retrospective, that was better than him being quiet – and, perhaps, in a masochistic way, you wanted to know more of him even if it meant you were fighting.

If Jaebum hadn’t really forgiven you, you wanted to know. You didn’t want him to put up a front for you. If there was something else going on with him or if he was still stuck on something from the past -- you wanted to know about it all even if it made no sense to you. Even if you didn’t think he’d reacted rationally. Just knowing would have been enough. It would have--finally--been a start because you were starting to get tired of being stuck preparing to get to know him.

You realized you should have focused on something else because, with the way things seemed to go with Jaebum, the only destination you were heading towards was heartbreak. Who was to say your wish would ever come true? Maybe you’d be stuck spending countless more nights tossing and turning in your bed as you tried to figure out what Jaebum had been trying to say.

You and him spoke different languages and, as much as you wanted to get to know his, sometimes, you really needed him to put in as much effort to speak yours.

Finally trying to listen to the warnings of your mind, you got your phone out to text your friends to see if they were available to hang out tonight. You knew just the right spot for some great, soul-soothing drinks.

   chapter directory

[jbcorbanlawyers]

YOUR SHIELD IN TIMES OF CRISIS: EXPLORING THE EXPERTISE OF A CRIMINAL DEFENCE LAWYER.

In the intricate world of the legal system, the criminal defense lawyer plays a pivotal role in ensuring justice for all, regardless of the gravity of their alleged crimes. Particularly in Sydney and across Australia, where legal complexities abound, these professionals stand as the last line of defense. Jermaine Corban, the principal solicitor at JB Corban Lawyers, brings years of experience to the forefront. He leaves no stone unturned, delving deep into evidence and strategizing defenses to identify any potential loopholes. The Australian legal landscape is a complex maze, but Jermaine's profound understanding of legal statutes and precedents distinguishes him. Beyond legal acumen, he humanizes the accused, painting a more comprehensive picture for the court and providing invaluable emotional support. Precision, a track record of excellence, and a global-local perspective define his approach. Selecting a skilled criminal defense lawyer in Sydney, like Jermaine, is essential, as it can mean the difference between freedom and a life marked by irreversible consequences. Your future depends on this expert shield in the face of crisis.

Click Here To Know More: https://www.pittsburghtribune.org/read-blog/60726

[ilikeeverythingonmypizza]

I was tagged by @broccoli-channie-soup!!! What is up my dude❤️

1. Nickname: Off brand selena gomez (but i go by Celina)

2. Zodiac Sign: Gemini🤙

3. Height: 5′6

4. Hogwarts House: RavenClaw

5. Last Thing Googled: “are watermelon in season”

6. Favourite artists: Two door cinema club, the killers, of monsters and men, Vance Joy, milky chance, coldplay, the jonas brothers, big time rush, got7, vav and a lot more kpop groups im just too lazy

7. Song stuck in my head: BULLET TO THE HEART! BULLET TO THE HEAAAART! (jackson wang), wave by ateez, Mr. brightside (the killers)

8. Favourite time of day: When the sun sets and the moon rises 

9. Favourite color: i like black, white, grey, dark blue, light pink

10. Following: 318

11. Followers: what blog hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

12. Do I get asks: sometimes and i would like to get them more often soooo

13. Amount of sleep: its usually 9+ hours but i procrastinate to do everything at night so recently 4 hours

14. Favourite number: 3 & 6

15. Any hobbies: painting my nails, binge Netflix, eating, admiring jb, reading, writing, napping, bopping it up, and stargazing

16. Dream job: a therapist/psychologist

17. Instruments?: Banjo, recorder, and i recently got a triangle

18. Languages: spanish, bits and pieces of japanese and im learning french

19. Favourite songs: riperide by vance joy, look by got7, spotlight by vav, mr.brightside by the killers, botfriend by big time rush

20. Random facts:

I major in psychology and minor in creative writing (flash fiction, short stories and poetry are my forte but i SUCK)

i am Asexual

i apperently flirt too much

if someone flirts back i panic and turn to stone

i am really motherf*cking clumsy (i fall when im just standing & have no sense of direction, forgetful and butterfingers)

I AM SALVADORIAN! not mexican... SALVADORIAN🇸🇻

i laugh at innappropiate times

I’m really f*cking weird

21. Aesthetic:

breezy nights, full moon, soft yet loud food crunches, midnight tacobell, early mourning walks, crisp sounds of leafs, strong smell of coffee, loud laughter, silly talks, bad accents, light whispers

oversized hoodies, big flannels, ripped jeans, jean shorts, converse, crocs, high unicorn pony tails, hoodie covering face, egg vibes

Tagging: @mylifeinhopeworld, @binnie-binnie-bambam, @whoamikiding15, @kihyunshighnote, @chogiwamypace, @13-scoups, @cherryeoo, and just know *talks 2 mic* YOU DONT HAVE TO DO IT! Only if u WANT! Eat a pizza and enjoy life... ily❤️🍕

[janiedean]

What songs remind you of Jaime & Brienne?

okay so *cracks knucles*, going for a general feeling because my playlist on the mp3 is like at 90+ songs ops (mind that my tastes are All Old Stuff)

jaime on his own or post-c.:

my back pages, bob dylan

the wrestler, bruce springsteen

little lion man, mumford & sons

i want to break free, queen

this ain’t a love song + wild is the wind, bon jovi

the outsider, shooter jennings

open all night, brian fallon

here comes my man, the gaslight anthem (this one is........ sorta adaptable to his affc arc and it has jb undertones imvho but like... IT’S HIM I SUFFER)

national anthem, the gaslight anthem

I had to leave and I’ll slow you down, warren zevon

it ain’t me, babe, bob dylan (or johnny cash whoever you prefer)

it all comes back someday, john hiatt

forget her, jeff buckley

sail away sweet sister, queen

brienne on her own:

not a pretty girl, ani difranco

you don’t know me, emmylou harris

you’ve got to hide your love away, the beatles

I wish I were blind, bruce springsteen (this and the previous one are brienne/renly tbqh)

maggie’s farm, bob dylan (this is just for the last couple lines but man THEY’RE HER)

everything has changed, lucinda williams

gravity, alison krauss & the union station

goals, john frusciante

messiah ward, nick cave and the bad seeds

why do they leave?, ryan adams

as a ship:

this is your sword, bruce springsteen (THIS ONE IS SO THEM I CRY btw if any vidder around wants to do a trade where I write them fic in exchange for THIS ONE SONG GETTING VIDDED I’M DOWN WITH IT PLS CONTACT ME)

thunder road, bruce springsteen (scuse me it’s perfect for them okay)

tougher than the rest, bruce springsteen (yes there’s a lot of springsteen here)

ugly, jon bon jovi

handle with care, the traveling wilburys

real live bleeding flingers, lucinda williams

dancing barefoot, patti smith

hail hail, pearl jam

you’re still standing there, steve earle & lucinda williams

roll away your stone, mumford and sons

girl in the war, josh ritter

i can’t live with you, queen

blue, joni mitchell

still remains, stone temple pilots

crush, the horrible crowes

ngl all of brian fallon’s last record but esp. etta james, neptune, proof of life, her majesty’s service and see you on the other side but like ALL that record is jb xD

I lost it, lucinda williams

hopeless romantics, steve earle

joan of arc, leonard cohen (THIS ONE IS ALSO V. FANVID WORTHY GUYS)

love minus zero/no limit & I’m in love with the ugliest girl in the world, bob dylan

leap of faith, bruce springsteen

sigh no more, mumford and sons

too much blood, the gaslight anthem

awake my soul, mumford & sons

back to the light, brian may

I’ve got my mind set on you, george harrison

you’re my best friend, queen

I have others but this is my main playlist xD