#Kirk and the Friend Problem

[lichqueenlibrarian]

Out of order (this happens right after the “remember” moment with McCoy) but I love this, I am obsessed with this. Spock finding the radiation pleasant at first, being fascinated by how he can see his bones and veins. Thinking still in terms of “who could despise him?” while reflecting on the things that gave him emotional pleasure, like music and math, and friendship and love.

Returning the Enterprise to her true captain by sacrificing himself.

Meanwhile McCoy and Scott are stuck outside watching him, while Jim is on the bridge not aware yet that the rest of the crew is safe but it’s already too late for Spock.

[cosmic-kasa]

🖖

I'm watching this and crying

cous of love to this two

[mashmouths]

fellas is it gay to ask your beefiest guy friend to accompany you to your secret fuck or die ceremony

[the-cimmerians]

It's 2024. I have been participating in fandom for 40 years. This is a ramble commemorating some history I've experienced along the way.

In 1984, I attended my first convention, and made a beeline for the one long row of covered tables in the Dealer's Room that was, according to the whispered lore of my friends, 'the one'. "um", I said, very suavely and coherently, except for how it was totally the opposite of those things, "I'm here for the... for the, uh. For-"

"Come around here," the man behind the table said with exhausted ennui, so I went around, and he lifted up the table skirt next to him and pointed to rows and rows of boxes underneath the line of tables. "It's all under here."

It was all under there. Along with about five older ladies with glasses, graying hair, cardigans. Flipping through slash zines and chatting in whispered voices like old friends (which of course they were). I noticed one of them had the good sense to be wearing kneepads. I was still too young and ablebodied to need kneepads when crawling on a carpeted floor, but I immediately found her preparedness skills to be both impressive and hot. "You're new," one of the ladies whispered to me--a bit warily, which made sense. "Are you sure you're in the right place?"

In the faint light (the kneepads lady had also come prepared with a flashlight, additional practicality hotness points for her) I grabbed a comb-bound book with a heavy line art piece on the cover, featuring a musclebound Captain Kirk getting righteously and enthusiastically plowed by a stern-yet-ebullient Spock. "This," I said, pointing helpfully at the cover, like I was trying to make myself understood in a language I had only the vaguest knowledge of. "I'm here for this."

Outside at the convention, most of the attendees were wearing large homemade circular pins that shrieked 'K/S is BS!!!'1. But underneath the table, we reveled in the forbidden.

***

In 1985, I fell very hard for Starsky & Hutch fandom. Which was simply referred to at the time as 'the other fandom', because there were only two. We were upstarts. Many fannish elders predicted that it was just a phase.

***

The 'circulating library' was a massive stack of barely-legible pages that smelled strongly of mimeograph ink. When you were on the list, you would write stories while you waited for your turn, and when the big box was mailed to you, you would read everything (new finds, old favorites), add your own sloppily-typed or hastily-mimeographed stories, and then mail the whole thing to the next person. For me, at the time, it was an extremely expensive indulgence--but my favorite one.

***

By 1990, slash fandom had grown enough that I no longer knew everyone in it, which was both thrilling and a bit daunting. A young woman at a convention waited for me after a panel I was part of (I think it was 'writing impactful smut' or something like that), and said she had a question she didn't want to ask in a group setting. I'd heard that before. I said that's fine, go ahead and ask; and she came out with: "Why do you have to be gay?"

I blinked. "Is... that a problem?"

She looked annoyed. "Yes, because your stories are on all the recommendation lists and in all the top zines, but if you're gay and I read something you wrote and I get hot from it that makes me gay, and I'm not gay."

"Wow." I grinned, I couldn't help it. It probably made me look very predatory-dyke-about-to-score-a-toaster. Whatever, it was enough to make her back away from me fast.

When I thought about it later that night, I wondered what it would be like not to be the only queer person in slash fandom.

***

By 1997, slash started appearing on the internet. Many fannish elders claimed it was the death knell of slash fandom, or dismissed it as 'just a phase'.

***

Anyway, I wrote all this for myself as a commemoration of sorts, but if you took the time to read it--thank you. Love you, fandom. I always will.

1 In those days, m/m fandom was known as 'slash', which grew from the fannish shorthand where 'K&S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock having adventures or tribulations or what have you, and 'K/S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock getting it on (Kirk divided by Spock or Spock into Kirk--it was mathy fannish humor and I was into it then and I still am now). Slash was decidedly unpopular in the fannish world in 1984, and there was a concerted effort to force slash authors, artists, and fans out of 'mainstream' fannish public life. Hence, under the table.

[tprings-hair]

I'm going to say something about the new unification short film that I haven't seen anyone here say yet.

I love the handholding scene. massively impactful. I love the echo of "this simple feeling" from the motion picture and the genesis reference and the idea that spock did not die alone or among strangers. it's just so satisfying after all this time to know that even shatner knew it was wrong and needed to be approached with more compassion for nimoy and the fans who loved these characters and knew they should be together at the end, whatever that looked like.

but you know what really got me?

this minute or so. kirk confronting his old selves. because that's obviously original series kirk right there in the gold uniform.

and the other? THAT'S HIM!!

(I'm linking it this way because you apparently can't add more than one video to a post and I need it here for demonstration.)

so we have present kirk walking down a dark hallway. at the end is spock, but at the end is also spock's death. how can he step forward and face that? what happened to the way he used to think about death?

yellow shirt is TOS kirk, who had always found a way around the problem and never (if the movies are to be believed) had to face death straight on. he's looking forward with confidence. there's no way spock is dying. there's a way out of this somehow, if only he can find it.

TOS kirk looks back the way he came, because he believes he can go back. he can always go back. the series always resets to the same characters who can be depended on to take similar actions, because that's what a serial is, and that's who he is. things have taken their toll on him, but he knows he can take the hit and keep moving.

but he stops when he's faces with WOK kirk. the one in the red dress uniform, who has lost spock and knows what it is to live without him. who has faced death in a way he had never had to before, because the constraints of the series never allowed it. he has been changed because of it.

TOS kirk sees that, and does that sort of posturing that he always does in front of someone who's threatening him. but WOK kirk isn't threatening him. he's just living through something TOS kirk hasn't had to face yet. it's him staring his past self in the face and telling him, kindly and firmly, you know nothing about how it will feel. you will never be the same without him.

and TOS kirk looks back again, and there's a present kirk, wearing his generations uniform. this is kirk having turned that grief to a desperate search for the most important person in his life, and emerged with spock by his side. he's not the same, but he's made it through. of course TOS kirk would look to that.

and as our kirk looks at these people he used to be, they vanish in front of him. he remembers the way he used to think about losing spock. the fear, the grief, the hope. there's no hope left. when he reaches the end, spock will be there, and it will be their last time together.

but he puts the pin back on, and reminds himself of his duty not just to a fellow officer, but to a friend, to the most important person in his life, and to himself. spock should not be alone, and he never got to say goodbye properly before. doing it now is the least he can do.

that's his ultimate responsibility in that moment: being there for spock. that's been his ultimate responsibility from the beginning. and this is shatner acknowledging that they deserved an ending that fit that truth.

[charliegyrth]

Three Roommates

Watch Them Feed Each Other...

This story is based on a recommendation by @nolantrojan.

***

I was the first to arrive in the dorms, so I chose the solo bed closest to the window. My two dormmates (Kirk and Braxton, according to the sign on the door) would have to share the bunkbed.

I’m an only child, so I’d never had to share space before. I was pretty nervous. For one thing, I was an introvert. Big time. I enjoyed hanging out with my closest friends, but when it came to meeting new people, I was super awkward.

For another thing, I was gay. I’d been out of the closet since junior high (though people had assumed I was gay pretty much since kindergarten). I wasn’t ashamed of it, of course, but I knew that some dormmates might have a problem.

When Kirk and Braxton arrived (together), my heart sank. I took one look at them and knew they were straight. Kirk had a buzz cut and lumbered when he walked. Braxton was a big, burly football-player type.

Both were quite handsome, though. (Especially Braxton. I loved big, manly bellies, and his was both of those things.)

“Yo! Roomie!” Kirk shouted like a total bro. He headed toward me and shoved his fist at me.

At first, I just stared at his knuckles. Then I realized he wanted me to give him a fist bump. I did (lamely).

“Nice to meet you!” Braxton said as he wheeled in both their suitcases.

“Yeah. Hi,” I muttered. I stared at my lap. (Terrible at eye contact.)

“You’re Trace, right? Or is it pronounced Trace-y?” Kirk asked. I couldn’t tell if that was a genuine question or if he was using a woman’s name to make fun of me.

“Trace.”

“Cool.” He turned to Braxton. “I get top bunk, man.”

“Says who?”

“Says me!” he shouted. “I don’t want your fat ass breaking the mattress and squashing me in the middle of the night.”

“Yeah?” Braxton said, charging forward and bumping his gut against Kirk. Clearly, they knew each other, and they seemed like frenemies.

Kirk shoved Braxton backward, forcing the bigger guy to stumble a few steps. Then Braxton grabbed Kirk by the shoulders and used all his weight to shove him onto the bottom bunk.

I looked away as the two of them got into a fight. Less than a minute after meeting them, and I already knew that I’d gotten the two worst roommates. They were just so bro-y. Were they gonna fight like this all the time? Worse, would they treat me like this if I did something to piss them off?

I pulled out my phone, looking for the RA’s email so I could request a transfer while Kirk and Braxton wrestled each other on the bed.

God. I hated my life.

But the wrestling noises died down, and when I looked back up, they were no longer fighting each other. Kirk was on top on Braxton, pinning him down and kissing him on the mouth.

Braxton pushed him back. “Dude! Not in front of the new guy.”

Kirk wiped his mouth. “Oh. Sorry.” Then he turned to me. “Sorry. We just get excited sometimes.”

“You two…” I stammered. “You’re…”

Braxton sat up and wrapped his thick arm around Kirk’s shoulder. “Boyfriends. Yeah. But we don’t wanna make you feel awkward.” He gave Kirk an affectionate yet annoyed glance. “Right, babe?”

Kirk shrugged. “We’ll behave ourselves.” He playfully jiggled Braxton’s belly.

In response, Braxton pushed him off the bed. “You’re the worst.”

“You are!”

Well, this was not what I expected.

Without saying anything, Kirk hurried into the bathroom, leaving me alone with his boyfriend.

“Seriously,” Braxton told me. “You don’t have to worry. We both know dorm etiquette. No fooling around when you’re in the room.”

“Cool,” I mumbled.

Braxton leaned forward, studying me. “You’re not upset, are you? I mean, having gay roommates?”

“No. I’m…”

Before I could say that I was gay too, he cut me off. “Thank frickin’ God.” Then he shouted toward the bathroom door. “Dude, he’s an ally!”

“Thank frickin’ God!” Kirk shouted from inside the bathroom.

An ally? Couldn’t they see that I was gay? I was wearing short-shorts and my suitcases were all Mattel pink.

Kirk strutted back in. He must’ve just washed his hands, because he was drying them on his jeans. “So. Trace. Tell us about yourself.”

I mentioned that I was an English lit major. That I was valedictorian at my high school. That I grew up in small-town Arizona. That I was single.

This was the perfect opportunity to come out to them, and yet I didn’t. I wasn’t sure why. I guess because I never really had to come out before. People just always knew.

Whatever. They’d figure it out eventually.

Then Kirk (the more talkative of the two) told me their story. They were both from Boston. They’d been dating since sophomore year of high school. They loved hockey (watching, not playing).

Overall, they seemed like pretty normal guys. I didn’t have anything in common with them, but I guess that didn’t matter.

There was one strange thing about our conversation, though. As Kirk was talking, he reached into his suitcase (decorated with Boston Bruins insignia) and fished out a packet of Oreos. Then, as he kept talking, he took out the cookies one by one and fed them to Braxton. Braxton ate each one without saying anything. It was the strangest thing, especially because neither of them acknowledged it.

Kind of cute, though. I wish I had a boyfriend who loved me enough to feed me sweets just for the hell of it.

Oh well.

***

I was alone in the dorms reading a novel for my Victorian literature class when the door flew open. Kirk and Braxton stumbled inside, both pawing at each other. Kirk had pulled up Braxton’s shirt halfway, revealing his pale, hairy belly.

They made it to the bottom bunk when they noticed that I was in the room. Kirk immediately let go of his boyfriend. Braxton's shirt dropped back down.

Braxton punched his arm. “Dude, you said he had class now.”

“I would’ve,” I chimed in. “But I changed my schedule yesterday. Didn’t like one of the professors. Sorry. I’ll… do the rest of my reading in the common room.” I stood up and started for the door.

“Naw, man,” Braxton said. “We can’t kick you out. It’s not fair to you.”

The three of us had been living together for two weeks now, and we hadn’t had a single problem. Once I got used to their more brash personalities, I really started to like them. In fact, I think their total confidence was really starting to rub off on me. Sure, there were some nights when I heard them messing around after they thought I was asleep, but that didn’t bother me.

Kirk looked over at his boyfriend, disappointed. “But babe. What about…?” He nodded toward a shopping bag in his hand. (I hadn’t noticed that before.)

“Later,” Braxton reassured him.

My interest was piqued. “What’s in the bag? If you don’t mind me asking.” (See what I mean about their confidence rubbing off on me? A few weeks ago, I would not have asked that question.)

Kirk looked at Braxton for permission. When Braxton nodded, he opened the bag and pulled out three packets of Oreos and a can of whipped cream.

“Just a snack,” Kirk said.

“Then why save it for later?” I asked. “Go ahead.”

They glanced at each other, both silently asking for permission. Braxton shrugged. Kirk grinned. And then they snuggled together on the bottom bunk (where they both usually slept) and Kirk opened the first box of Oreos.

I tried to focus on my book. I really did. But I couldn’t stop glancing over as Kirk slid Oreos into Braxton’s expectant mouth. At first, it felt like an affectionate display, just one guy spoiling his chubby boyfriend. But as they continued, things definitely got more erotic. Braxton started moaning. Kirk slid his hand in gentle circles across Braxton’s belly, sometimes pinching the fat at the bottom.

I stared at my book but my brain couldn’t process the words in front of me. I was genuinely confused by my roommates. Why were they turned on by Oreos?

And more importantly, why was I getting turned on, too? I wasn’t even looking at them, but I was still getting hard.

Eventually, the moaning stopped and I glanced over. They’d finished two packets of Oreos and Kirk was whispering something in his boyfriend’s ear.

Whatever he said made Braxton laugh. “Dude! No!”

“It doesn’t hurt to ask?” Kirk whispered back. Then, ignoring his boyfriend’s hesitance, he turned toward me. “Hey, Trace. Wanna join in?”

My heart pounded. “I… um, don’t like Oreos.”

“See?” Braxton whispered to Kirk.

Kirk held up the spray can. “Do you like whipped cream?”

“I guess.”

With a big smile on his face, Kirk gestured for me to come closer. I started to get out of my desk chair when I realized that my semi hard-on was visible through my pants. I lowered myself back down and scooted the chair toward them.

Too late, though. Kirk noticed the bulge and elbowed his boyfriend. “Told ya.” With my chair about a foot away from their bed, he handed me the whipped cream. “Try it.”

I was still confused, but I was curious, too. I popped off the cap and angled it toward my mouth.

“Woah! What are you doing?” Kirk said.

“I was just…” When I noticed Braxton’s open mouth, I realized my mistake. When he said “try it,” he didn’t want me to eat the cream. He wanted me to join in on feeding Braxton. The realization scared me a little. I was joining in on some sexual kink that I still didn’t understand. I guess I was open to it, though.

I pushed the can toward Braxton, but he stopped me. “Actually, if you’d prefer to have some yourself, we’d be okay with that, too. Right, Kirk?”

Kirk thought for a second, then smiled. “Why not? Could be fun.”

I thought that meant he wanted me to spray some of it into my mouth, but instead, he grabbed the can out of my hands and pressed the nozzle against my lips.

More warmth rushed to my dick. Why was this turning me on so much?!

Kirk held the back of my head and I started to suck. The cream filled my mouth and my cheeks bulged out. At first, I wasn’t ready to swallow. Then I did. He sprayed in more, and I swallowed that, too.

Then he pulled the can away from my face and handed it to Braxton.

Braxton leaned forward on the bed, his belly filling his lap, and he squirted more whipped cream in my mouth. “This is fun!” he told his boyfriend.

“Tell me about it,” Kirk replied as he pulled out the next packet of Oreos.

When Braxton pulled the can away, Kirk slid an Oreo between my lips. Then Braxton sprayed again. They went back and forth for a while, alternating so quickly that I was having trouble keeping up.

I’m not sure how long it lasted. (This whole experience could’ve been minutes or hours. I couldn’t tell.) But before the can was empty, Braxton stopped and said, “My turn again!”

He waited for me to take back the can, which I did. Then Kirk and I worked together to fill him up just like they’d done to me.

Somehow, my confusion at what we were doing only made everything hotter. Pretty soon, the cream was finished. The Oreos were gone. And the three of us just sat there, feeling a sense of achy satisfaction that reminded me of the first few minutes after sex.

“What did we just do?” I had to ask.

“Just a snack,” Kirk said. “We were about to head down to the cafeteria for our real lunch if you wanna join us?”

I looked at my phone. I had class in twenty minutes. I’d never skipped classes before. I opened my mouth to refuse, but instead, the word “okay” came out of my mouth.

Braxton kissed Kirk on the cheek, leaving a streak of whipped cream. “Let’s go. I’m starved.”

***

Kirk strutted into the dorm room with two grocery bags filled with god-knows-what. Probably more donuts because he knew how much I liked them.

“You are such a bad influence,” I said from my desk. “You know I have class soon.”

Braxton waddled into the room behind his boyfriend. “More for me then!”

“Dammit. Fine,” I gave in. “But this is the last time this week. I can’t miss any more lectures.” We knew that I wasn’t going to stick to that. I never did.

Three months into the semester, and I’d been to about half of my total classes. Maybe less. I was still keeping up with the assignments, but my work ethic had gone out the window, all because of our damn feeding sessions. They’d become an addiction. Our dorm room, covered with stains and filled with trash, was crime-scene evidence for how constant and messy those sessions were.

Kirk did all the shopping, and he seemed to be increasing the amount of snacks each time. At first, Braxton and I ate an equal amount. (Kirk never ate anything himself.) After a few weeks, though, I noticed that Braxton’s stomach had grown. I realized that if I kept going at his pace, I’d start gaining, too. I didn’t want that, so I pulled back a little, still stuffing myself but always stopping earlier than my fat roommate.

Outside of the dorms, the three of us started doing a lot of stuff together. We’d go to the movies, attend parties, and hit up the cafeteria (at least once a day). Even though I never joined in on the physical affection they showed each other (aside from giving Braxton occasional belly rubs), I really felt like we had become a throuple. I was always so much happier when at least one of them was around.

Kirk pulled our table to the middle of the room and unloaded today’s goodies. I was right about the donuts. He’d even gotten the ones with strawberry frosting! (I’d told him last week that those were my favorite.) He also had cinnamon rolls and (of course) cans of whipped cream.

I dutifully pulled my chair up to the table.

Braxton sat across from me, his belly pushing into the table. It had definitely grown in the last few weeks. Softened, too. It used to be more spherical, but it was seriously starting to droop.

“Who’s first?” Kirk asked grandly. He always asked that, and of course, he always chose his boyfriend. I didn’t mind.

But today, he turned to me and said, “You ready?”

I was both surprised and flattered. “Me first? Really?”

“You deserve it, bro,” Braxton said. “Kirk and I were talking this morning, and… Well, it’s been a fantasy for both of us to fatten up our straight college roommate. It’s kind of a dream come true.”

I gulped. Two things about that surprised me. The first was that they still thought I was straight. Yeah, I still hadn’t come out to them, but everything about me—from my clothes to my voice to my fashion sense—should’ve tipped them off.

And the other thing, the bigger thing, was that they thought they were fattening me up. No! I was still the same skinny guy. Braxton was getting fatter, not me.

“Guys, I’m not…”

“You’re not straight?” Kirk interrupted. “I knew it.” He turned to Braxton and held out his hand. “Pay up.”

Braxton grumbled as he pulled out his wallet and handed Kirk a five-dollar bill.

“You were betting on me?”

“Dude! It’s all good. We just have terrible gaydar. That’s all.” Kirk slapped his fat boyfriend on the back. “I mean, I thought this homo was straight right up until he went down on me at a debate tournament. Isn’t that right, babe?”

Braxton blushed. “Let’s just start eating.”

“Wait!” I said, even though Kirk had already raised a donut toward me. “I’m not trying to get fat. I just like the eating part.”

“Really?” Braxton said, squeezing the fat roll that had recently formed under his chest. “You’d like it.”

“No. I'm not... interested in that part. That’s why I’m not, you know, eating as much as you.”

Braxton and Kirk exchanged a long look between them. Then they both turned back toward me.

“Have you seen yourself lately?” Kirk asked.

“I…”

“Take off your shirt, man,” he encouraged.

Two months ago, I would’ve said no. I probably would’ve mumbled something and left the room. But I felt so close to my roommates now. Plus, I was confident that they were wrong. I might’ve gained a couple pounds, but I still fit into all my clothes.

I stood up and stripped off my shirt. “See? Still skinny.”

Braxton stared at my bare stomach. “Sorta. I think you’re skinny-fat now.”

Smiling, Kirk walked toward me. Without saying anything, he grabbed me by the waist and squeezed.

I gulped. For the first time, there was something to squeeze.

I looked down and saw his fingers gripping rolls of fat on my sides. Love handles.

Still not speaking, he grabbed the skin under my belly button and squeezed that, too. More fat.

They were right. These feeding sessions had coated me in fat. My overall shape hadn’t changed, but I’d gotten soft.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I mumbled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t realize…”

“Why?” Kirk said. His hands still played with my belly fat.

“Because I don’t wanna get fat. I like the way I look.”

Slowly, he slid his palms up my stomach before stopping at my chest. With his eyes locked on mine, he squeezed into my pecs. Except, they weren’t really pecs now. They were bulges of fat.

I trembled a little. That felt good.

“Why?” he asked again.

“Because I don’t want… I…”

He kissed me.

God.

Braxton must’ve gotten out of the chair, because he was suddenly behind me, his fingers tracing the slight creases just above my love handles. He kissed my neck.

“You can’t stop now,” Braxton whispered into my ear. His belly was pressed into my back. “Now that we know you’re not straight, imagine how much more fun we can have.”

Kirk pulled back. “And imagine how big we can make you.”

I didn’t say anything. I allowed them both to push me back into my chair. Kirk and Braxton joined me at the table.

These two were definitely a bad influence on me, but I couldn’t fight it anymore. I opened my mouth and waited for the first donut.

***

I was at my laptop, listening to my professor drone on about Charles Dickens again. Now that I’d switched to 100% online lessons, my classes were so much easier. I could set my own pace (more or less) and since I was in the comfort of our own apartment, I could graze on snacks as much as I wanted.

I reached into my potato chip bag for another handful, but all I got were crumbles on my fingers. I’d need Kirk to get me another bag.

Before I could ask him, I felt him surprise me from behind, kiss my cheek, and place a fresh bag in my lap. Somehow, he always knew.

“Thanks, babe.”

“Is the lecture almost over?” he asked.

“Forty more minutes.”

“Really? We can’t wait that long. Can’t you…”

“Ugh. Fine.” I made sure that my mic was on mute (it was) and pushed myself out of my chair. The lecture would continue without me. I’m sure I wasn’t missing much. I was going to graduate in a month, so it really didn’t matter if I missed one more lecture.

Kirk grabbed my hand and led me into our living room.

Braxton was waiting on the couch, shirtless as always. He smiled up at us, not at all surprised that Kirk had convinced me to skip out on another lecture.

He looked particularly handsome today. His latest cluster of stretchmarks had finally faded, leaving faint pink trails from his lower belly all the way up to his under-moob roll. Sure, his moobs had gotten a bit mismatched, with one angled more to the side, but with nipples as big as potatoes, how could anyone complain?

One day, I’d catch up to him. Probably not for a while, of course. 400+ was a pretty heft goal, but one day. I had the determination.

He patted the space next to him on the couch. “Ready?”

“Always,” I said as I flopped my fat ass onto the cushion. Kirk pushed the table closer to us. It was covered with platters of lasagna and spaghetti. No utensils, of course. Now that we lived off-campus, we could get as messy as we wanted, and of course Kirk wanted us to get really messy.

He took a second to glance back and forth at his two massive lovers, smiling at what we’d both become. “I love you,” he said, talking to us both. Equally.

Braxton grabbed the front of my shirt to help me strip it off. At his size, he couldn’t really angle his body toward me. I ended up pulling it off myself.

“Trace,” he said, “you’re beautiful.”

“I know.” Yeah, he outweighed me by 130 pounds, and he looked so much more massive than me, but we loved each other too much to compare. He was beautiful, and so was I.

“Alright, dudes!” Kirk said. “Dig in!”

Braxton scooped up a handful of lasagna while I went straight for the spaghetti, allowing tomato sauce to ooze down my chubby arm.

Kirk, still as slim as ever, climbed in next to me and started playing with my belly. That always kept me motivated.

And through the door into the other room, I could see my laptop. My professor’s face was still there, talking about something unimportant. I had better things to think about.

The End And please send me more suggestions!!! They're so much fun!

This story is included in my new ebook collection Three Times as Fat! Check it out.

[raisinchallah]

nobody in the world has correct kirk characterization its very hard for me some people want him to be a womanizer action star some people imagine hes a feminist uwu softboy and both cause me severe harm physical emotional harm it burns the eyes and the minds anyways kirk really wants to be earnestly gifted by a random lieutenant a #1 boss coffee mug he hates drugs and is literally miserable when people are having fun without him but he like really really badly wants to be the favorite student teacher for a group of unruly high school students and gets visibly crestfallen when hes correctly identified as a loser stick in the mud his only friends work for him hes constantly having the worst day of his life because of people who are mildly annoying he was the most dedicated member of starfleet academy's first ever improv troupe and has tried to figure out how to apply these skills to every single problem he ever encounters again everyone really really really needs to remember hes deeply lame and embarrassing

[dangerousconnoisseurdonut]

I had a thought today and I've been wondering about something; does everyone remember the original series episode The Enemy Within? Where a transporter accident causes Kirk to divide into two personalities - one good but weak-willed, the other brash and assertive.

What if the same thing happens to Julian? Some kind of anomaly hits Julian and divides him into Jules as he would have been without his augmentations, and Julian, the augment. Everyone is naturally nervous, thinking the augment is evil and has a superiority complex worse than their doctor (whom everyone still thinks is a little full of himself). If this happens on the promenade, maybe Sisko suggests taking them to the infirmary to scan them both, but Jules freaks and possibly scratches Sisko if he tries to guide him to said infirmary, because Jules only remembers doctors hurting him. He runs to Julian, who explains to the crew that Jules won't let a doctor near him, believing they all will hurt him like the ones on Adigeon. Julian suggests asking Garak to perform the scan since, if Jules is like him, he retains the impressions of people, even if the memories are fuzzy (possibly, Jules sees it as a story he was told, but cannot connect the characters and setting of the story with the people and place he is at now - Garak is different because Julian suggested him, letting him connect the two).

I'm having trouble articulating the rest, but how does the DS9 crew handle the two sides of Julian? Jules is non-verbal, prone to fits, and needs a solid routine, and Julian the augment is full of self-loathing and hatred, not wanting to let others get close to him for fear of being discovered so he acts obnoxious to keep people at arms length. Possibly, to add to the heartbreak (as well as the crews problems because I'm still a little salty about their disregard of Julian's feelings after the Changeling incident), what if instead of there being two middle-aged Julian's, Jules is five or six, just before he's augmented, and Julian is sixteen, just after he's found about his augmentations. Julian doesn't understand what's going on but is protective of Jules since he sees this as a chance to make things right (we all know Julian sees his existence as possible because Jules was murdered).

Jules wanders off and finds Garak who recognizes his friend instantly and is charmed by the quiet boy, whilst he and Julian bond over their desire to protect Jules' innocence. That's all I've thought up, but let me know your thoughts on this tricky problem; who's better with Jules and who's better with Julian while managing to get through to him that no one is going to hurt him or Jules?

[awionetka]

𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰! ✩

what if Love and Deepspace was a college rock band?

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫: fluff in headcannon format. the band features all five of the boys. brief Xavier x reader.

𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫 / 𝐙𝐚𝐲𝐧𝐞 / 𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐥 / 𝐒𝐲𝐥𝐮𝐬 / 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐛

Xavier is…

the lead guitarist!

Effortlessly impressive and genuinely skilled, Xavier doesn't really brag about playing an instrument. Perhaps that's the most endearing thing about it, well, aside from how much smaller he looks while carrying a guitar case on his back (especially since he has so many keychains attached to it he is constantly jingling when he walks).

He doesn't have any sort of grandiose backstory when it comes to this aspect of him, one day he just simply decided he'd like to start playing, so that is exactly what he did. Back when he was merely a beginner, there weren't many ways for Xavier to spend his free time, so he used it all up for practice. Ended up becoming exceptional (on accident...?).

The only member of the band that got scouted, chosen personally by Rafayel himself. Wanted to be the rhythm guitarist at first but the members convinced him otherwise. Not a show off but maybe that's exactly what sells him, and by extension – the entire band. Great at improv. Could be because he keeps forgetting what he's supposed to play during his solos, so he just makes it up on the spot. Zayne is the only one who notices but is kind enough not to mention it.

The two of you met while you were working on an extended piece about the band for the college newspaper. The interview ended with Xavier teaching you the basics, carefully placing your fingers in the right places and adjusting your posture. You didn't tell him that you actually sort of knew how to play already; he seemed cute, smelled like freshly done laundry and had the prettiest, most elegant set of hands you had ever seen in your entire life, so you decided to take your chances.

Ever since then, you kept stumbling upon Xavier in bars scattered around the town, where he unhurriedly strummed on his guitar or played pool with the rest of the band. He always noticed you first, smiling politely and waving, yet rarely ever approached you, especially if you were with your friends.

It took Sylus expertly setting the two of you up (right after you complained to him about the utter lack of romantic action during a casual house party) as well as a bunch of vague song dedications and mismatched drinks for Xavier to properly ask you out. He fell asleep on your shoulder right afterwards, leaving you with the problem of dragging his unconscious ass back to his dorm. 

𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬…

✩ Fender Made in Japan Hybrid II Strat - Limited Run - Satin Sand Beige RW

His go to. Nothing compares to the comfort of his beloved Fender Strat sitting in his lap (well, maybe except when it’s you situated in the very same spot). Uses it for casual day-to-day practice, also some gigs. If you ask him to play a song for you, he’ll sit down with his Fender (and then play some Judas Priest just to mess with you before switching to your favourite ballad).

✩ Gibson MOD Series 1961 ES-335 2019 Bigsby Blue Sparkle

His second favourite. Treats it with utmost care and consideration. It’s always perfectly clean and shiny, regularly restrung and tuned every single day, even when he doesn’t use it. Plays it once or twice a month, claiming that frequent usage damages the body. It has a dedicated place on the wall above his bed, right next to the newspaper article you wrote about him the band. Caleb adores to tease him mercilessly about it.

✩ Epiphone Kirk Hammett 1979 Flying V PM

Got influenced to purchase this one. Thought it looked kind of cool, ended up with a guitar that’s not entirely practical. Whenever they play in some fancier venue, he’s bringing out his Epiphone. Rafayel claims it makes him seem more skilled. In reality, he actually makes a handful of mistakes during each show because he’s not used to its feel. Lets you put whichever stickers your heart desires on it. It has a small dent on the bottom from when he accidentally made a hole in the wall while getting ready for a gig.

𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐯 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐬

✩ she’s not gone yet but she’s leaving; the fratellis

✩ this is nowhere; the black keys

✩ treat ya better; the criticals

✩ only angel; harry styles

✩ the urge; blossoms

[anghraine]

Speaking of "Balance of Terror," Stiles's guide to making friends and influencing people—

Stiles being judged by every visible person on the bridge (ft. Scotty's "oh no you didn't," Sulu's "the fuck is this guy," and Kirk's Kill Bill sirens):

Kirk quickly shuts it down while converting his usual Tactile Supportive Shoulder Clasp into barely disguised menace as he walks past:

Stiles decides he was too subtle the first time and gets harshly dressed down on the bridge before jumping to KILL THEM ALLLL in the council meeting:

Stiles decides that the third time's the charm and turns to Kirk and Uhura, the two people whose jobs involve carrying 85% of the situation's tension in their shoulders, to create more problems:

Aaaaand Stiles is deservingly kicked off the bridge and Kirk gives his job at the weapons console to Uhura. Rest in pieces, asshole.

(Stiles in fact survives to realize he was wrong about everything and grovel, though we never see him after this episode.)

[dustykneed]

everyone knows that if you bring your best friend along on a date with your bf, either your best friend of your bf will end up being third wheeled-- unless you're jim t kirk and you manage to third wheel for your first officer (who is in fact your boyfriend) and your cmo best friend.

no i have not watched bread and circuses yet but i feel in my heart that this applies. and also objectively the bread and circuses outfits are so insanely mind-blowingly attractive?? i needed an excuse to draw them in tight-fitting shirts and i regret nothing 😎

you just know that whenever the pre-mcspirk triumvirate hangs out whoever did the inviting will inevitably end up being the third wheel. like jim invites spock over to play chess and brings bones along to spectate and commentate and IMMEDIATELY spones joins forces to beat his ass (bickering and sassing each other all the while. and by the end bones is basically halfway on spock's lap smug as hell with spock leaning back a little just to accommodate him, a hand ghosting his waist to keep him from losing his balance.) And they beat jim's ass so soundly it would almost be embarrassing if he hadn't been preoccupied with committing the way spock and bones fit so well together to memory.

or spock will ask jim and bones over for dinner, and somehow while he's turned his back for a minute replicating their meals mckirk will have gotten into a playful argument about the worst terran movie and spock watches this eventually escalate into a mock tussle on the couch (and then onto the floor, where jim solidly pins bones (who is voicing his complaints very loudly) to the carpet and sort of pets at him until he goes pliant and giggly. and spock keeps watching because he can't bring himself to look away from how jim's biceps and triceps flex with the exertion of keeping a flailing bones still, and the way bones' shirt has rucked up with his wriggling and is now exposing his midriff in a decidedly... agreeable manner. And now their dinner is getting cold but spock is very much not. the opposite, in fact.

for bones though, generally he has the opposite problem-- whenever he tries to corner jim for a physical, it's guaranteed that spock will show up with him and stand next to his bed and all but hold jim's hand in front of the entire medbay and (with infuriating accuracy and highly amusing, transparent urgency) hand bones the instruments he needs before he even reaches for them, hovering by jim's side all the while. and jim is also TERRIBLE about not physically attaching himself to spock and actually letting bones do his goddamn job when spock gets hurt. if he wasn't so fond of them both, he swears he would've kicked them out of his medbay ages ago. Too bad they've both wormed their way solidly into his heart.

...

prompt fill for @mcspirkevents' mcspirk month day 26 "expectations vs reality" (i know this isn't spicy but by god spirk's mouths are actually touching and given my track record of not being able to draw people kissing properly it might as well be, lol) 🩵💙💛

[doverstar]

I'd love to defend Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life for a minute (I don't usually make long posts and may delete this later for that reason) because I feel like writing something inconsequential.

Other people get lots of comfort watching the original show (especially in the fall). I feel cozier watching AYITL. The characters are much older; the dizzy, flighty, still-growing-up feelings for Lorelai and Rory have faded, and it's full of moments that make it clear that certain things in their lives are definitely always going to be there. Constants. Luke, Stars Hollow, family, Kirk, Taylor, the changing of the seasons. Now - for my defense. (I'm rambling.)

Okay, many, many people don't like the revival. I understand. It's different in a lot of ways from the original show, and lots of expectations were not met. When I first saw it, it threw me too. But I didn't dislike it. In fact, the more I rewatched it, the more I thought it was almost better than the first show. The leading ladies are not flashy young stars anymore - Rory is Lorelai's age when the OG show first began, and Lorelai is gracefully and fabulously careening toward grandma times with all her wit and charm, all her most comfy habits, and it makes me want to hang out with her more than Season 1 of the show ever did. And I think the fact that ASP came back to write for these characters again and end it on her terms, at last, was an absolute win, and I love how she did it because it fixed so many things I thought were wrong in the show.

Lorelai is self-centered, terrified of commitment, and has no idea how to put others before herself and not run away during the hard times - unless something involves Rory.

Rory is self-centered, thinks she is special, and has no idea how to deal with not getting what she wants. The consequences of her actions almost never directly affect her, and when they do, said consequences are quickly stamped on and snuffed out by her mother/friends/family.

Emily is self-centered, desperate to be in control, and finds her worth in what other people think, in how things look, and that includes what Richard thinks.

In the show, Lorelai has moments where she learns to stay and learns to put other people who are not Rory before herself. Those moments don't last. She definitely has good intentions, but they're all conditional. She only has good intentions up to a point - and that point is usually when someone or something threatens her happiness and feeling of safety, or Rory's happiness and feelings of safety (understandable; that's her child).

In the show, Rory is told she is the sweetest kid in the whole world. Rory is told she'd never do anything to hurt anybody. Rory is told she's special, she's smarter than her peers, she's not like other girls. Rory 100% believes that. She also probably has a bit of a problem with living up to that image - she wants to be all of those things, and thinks she is, and can't handle it when it seems like people think she's not. (That may or may not have something to do with Christopher, who always had somewhere more important to be, or with Lorelai, who was so cool and strong and sure of Rory.)

And the show has moments, too, where Lorelai has to face the music and see that she's screwed up or is hurting someone with her behavior (Max, Chris, Luke, Jason, Emily, Richard, Sookie), but very very often, Lorelai breezes her way through that music and keeps moving, and flits to the next thing or person that will make her happy, because she does not know how to stay and stand and fix what she's broken. Because it only matters if she is happy and if Rory is happy. (The same thing goes for Rory in the show - consequences come, but Rory rarely has to properly deal with them herself. She is coddled and propped up the whole way.)

Now, to my point!

I watched AYITL and noticed something was different right away. Lorelai is with Luke (she should be), who is the opposite of her - constant, loyal, selfless, determined to stay no matter how hard things get. But they're not married. Lorelai is scared to really commit, and marriage is one of the hardest things you can commit to - ever. And Lorelai is not happy. Rory, for her part, is not perfectly settled as a reporter or a journalist or any of the things she was always told she could be. And she's not happy. And Emily, bless her, has lost her husband and her false sense of control is spinning away, and of course, she is not happy.

And A Year In The Life takes the show's clumsy half-arc of these three Gilmore women and perfectly completes it.

Lorelai's fear of commitment and habit of bolting when things get hard drives her to push every new chef out of the Dragonfly, refuse to expand the inn to better accommodate Michel's needs, shun Rory's tell-all of her past mistakes, shame Richard at his funeral and break Emily's heart, and worst of all, nearly wreck the closest thing to a proper relationship she's ever had: the one she has with Luke. She can't face that she misses her father, loved her father, and that maybe her mother is right about her relationship status. She can't face that people might read Rory's writing and see all her flaws and all her mistakes growing up in printed ink, and she can't run from that. And when Rory insists, Lorelai cuts ties. Lorelai has spent years avoiding marriage with Luke. She has spent years hurting her mother in an effort to defend herself at all costs. And she has spent years ensuring the Dragonfly Inn is exactly what she wants it to be; because changing it would be uncomfortable, and as a result, she won't commit to a new chef, she won't expand, and she's about to lose Michel the way she lost Sookie.

Rory's bubble of self-centeredness and assurance that she's special is popped with the needle of reality at last: she is not special. She's a young woman who has to actually work hard to find a job and make some money, like everyone her age. She is talented and she is smart, but she's not God's gift to journalism, and people keep saying no, and people keep asking her to prove her skills and her merit, and she doesn't know how to deal with that because everyone has always told her she can do anything she wants and she's the best. She wants a distinguished career and can't find anyone who will take her on; she tries to write for a raging batty feminist (hello Alex Kingston I love your work) and that goes sideways; she wants Logan Huntzberger but she turned down his proposal and now he's engaged and it has to be a secret; she wants somewhere to live - just not Stars Hollow because she's better than the thirty-somethings stuck back home. She wants Lorelai to approve of her book and insists her mother give her this, as if Lorelai hasn't always given her whatever she could. And when Lorelai says no, Rory does what she wants anyway and almost fractures their relationship over it.

Emily's control is completely gone - she can't control her emotions, she can't control her tongue, she can't control her maid or her maid's handy family, she can't even control a stupid painting of her late husband. She's on a downward spiral and her anchor is dead. She tries to regain a sense of worth, because surely that will bring happiness back. She tries to gain it from how many possessions she has, that doesn't work. She tries to gain it from Jack, who is not well-suited to her but he makes a matching accessory to the life other people will see. That doesn’t work. She tries to gain it from therapy with Lorelai, control her daughter at last, that doesn't work. She tries to control Richard's headstone, that doesn't work. She even tries to find solace with her beloved D.A.R, and she finds that emptiest of all.

A Year In The Life has these women finally face their flaws head-on and grow. The way characters should.

Rory: Rory is confronted with the fact that she is not special and has to move home like everyone else her age and get a job she does not want, because that's life, and that's what everyone else has to do in the real world. And when she's at her lowest, pouting, she gets advice from someone who has faced his own flaws long ago and has grown and who knows her at her best, and encourages her to get up and work hard (Jess Mariano, ladies and gentlemen). And she does. Rory hits bottom and takes Jess's advice and works at understanding her mother, who is not perfect, and even goes to interview her father, who is also not perfect. She fights with Lorelai over the book and insists on her own way, and when Lorelai refuses, Rory can only blame herself. She has a rabble-rousing night with her LaDB boys and winds up sleeping with Logan in one more bubble of fantasy, one more umbrella-jump of escapism, like the old days, because Logan is her weakness. And when she wakes up the next morning, Rory turns and walks away from Logan and the affair and her insistence on having what she wants regardless of who she hurts (hello, Dean Forrester and her affinity for taking spoken-for men) for the final time. And the consequences of her desires? She’s pregnant. (Come on, we all know the baby is Logan’s; Rory’s life rhymes with Lorelai’s.) She goes to Christopher to interview him for the book and is subtly asking her father why he wasn’t in her life, because she needs to know what to do with her baby and her lover. She didn’t go to Lorelai to figure that out. She went to her dad, because the truth is, Rory didn’t have her father, and part of dealing with the consequences of her actions is to work out how to take care of this baby and whether or not that means involving the father. She’s owning up. She goes to Lorelai and offers to give up this book; she doesn’t make excuses or whine, she wrote the book anyway because she believes in it, but when she’s gotten three chapters in, she respectfully goes to her mother and asks her to read it and then, for the sake of Lorelai, not herself, Rory promises to quit and throw the book out if Lorelai does not approve. Because Lorelai is more important to her than herself. Rory has worked hard and made mistakes and gotten pregnant and she has stared the world in the eyes and seen she’s not special. And she has to deal with that. And she does, finally, deal with it. And she’s happy.

Emily: Emily is confronted with the fact that nothing is inside her control—except what she does. Worth does not come from what she owns or who she’s with or what she’s wearing, and it didn’t come from her marriage, either. That wasn’t why she married Richard anyway. She is miserable and alone, and part of that is her fault. She married Richard because she loved him, and she keeps coming back to Lorelai because she loves her, and she opens up her house to Rory when Rory needs a place to write because she loves her. Emily looks around at what she has and recognizes what has worth and what doesn’t, maybe for the first time, with clear vision. She recognizes that she can’t control everything. At first, that fact keeps her down. She forgets what day it is, the curtains are closed, and she doesn’t get up in the morning. No Richard, no Lorelai, no reason to move. And then Lorelai calls her, and tells her about who Richard was and what Richard did and how it mattered, and that inspires Emily. She can get up. She buys a place on Cape Cod, totally opposite of the sort of life everyone admires and expects to have worth, and she does what she’s really always been best at—she loves. She takes care. She took care of Richard, she took care of Lorelai and Rory when they needed it, and she takes care of Berta and her wonderful family, instead of having a maid take care of her needs. She packs up and moves out, she sends Jack away, she reveals the D.A.R. for what it is and quits them forever, and she takes a job at a whaling museum because she just likes it. It’s nothing fancy, and neither is her oceanic house or the music she plays in it or the clothing she wears, because none of that is worth anything anyway. Her family is. Her friends are. She gets the painting of Richard done right and brings it with her, and she gives up attempting control of everything and only takes control of how she behaves. She gives Lorelai what Lorelai needs for the Dragonfly, and her only stipulation is that she gets to spend more time with her daughter and Luke. She loves, she takes care of others, she helps. And she’s happy. And now, the best for last. The star.

Lorelai: Lorelai sits in that stupid Stars Hollow Musical and hears a song that perfectly describes her problem—it’s never or now. Make a commitment. Do something hard. Make your life about something other than your momentary present happiness and comfort, the way you do with just Rory, sometimes, but make it a permanent change. Make change permanent! Don’t run away! …And then she runs away. She’s been miserable, she’s hit bottom, like her mother before her and her daughter after her. She’s losing friends, she’s losing Luke, she’s losing Emily, she’s losing Rory over the manuscript, and it’s all her fault. Lorelai tries to breeze past it. She does Wild. She does what she’s never done before, she does something hard and uncomfortable, but she does it for herself, and therefore it doesn’t quite work. She tries to hike, Dipper Pines won’t let her hike, she meets other women her age who think this hike is gonna fix things, it doesn’t, and she gives up and goes to get coffee because that’s her go-to. (Coffee is speedy, bad for you, and only a temporary rush—kind of everything Lorelai clings to, actually.) But the coffee shop is closed, and when Lorelai is denied that allegorical Band Aid, she goes around back and sees a great view and finally finds clarity. She didn’t need the hike—she needed to think. She needed a moment of silence and introspection to gain the insane courage to finally stop moving, stick around, and face her fears. To put her eyes on herself and then take her eyes off herself and onto other people—namely the people she loves. Lorelai calls Emily and cries, because it’s hard to do this, it hurts, but with one story, she proves she loved her father, and she knows her father loved her, and the fact that she’s calling shows that she knows Emily loves her too, and she loves Emily, and has loved them both all along. It gives Emily the strength she needs to get out of bed. That was hard, but Lorelai did it. And now she’s going to do more hard things—she’s going to commit. It’s never or now, and Lorelai chooses now. She goes home and the first thing she does is propose to Luke and become Lorelai Danes overnight. Hard. Scary. Just right. She patches things up with her daughter, and chooses Rory over herself—for the hundredth time, yes, but when it’s at its hardest for her to do. “I’ll read it when it’s done.” Lorelai expands the Dragonfly. She goes to Emily for help, which is also super hard, but this time it’s not for Rory – it’s for her, and it’s for Michel, and it’s for the Dragonfly. And she accepts Emily’s affectionate terms. Lorelai chooses Rory, Luke, Emily, and Michel over herself, and commits, and she doesn’t run away. And she’s happy.

And all of it is earned. Finally earned.

I could talk more about the incredible writing, about ASP at her best, about the perfect themes and scenery and the very intentional end to Paris, Lane, Kirk, Taylor, Dean, Jess, Logan, Chris, and the general cast’s stories, but I’ve already rambled for too long.

Suffice it to say: A Year in the Life is my Gilmore Girls. It’s best version of the story. I think it was expertly done. Not perfect, but an ending that was earned.

[onyxonline]

Spellcasters AU -part 3

Third pair! Took me forever but they’re finally here!

Kirk is the group’s musician, vibing with music and writing lyrics, he actually has the ability to “see” music (synesthesia) and his magic reflects that too. He’s also very active, often seen with Harriet training or going on morning jogs. He’s a morning person, completely opposite to Lee Yue and can and will drag our sleepy friend from any nap he’s taking.

Bhavik is quiet, but maintains an air of politeness when he speaks. Unlike his more outgoing friends, he much prefers the silence of the library, so he and Lee Yue get along rather well. Despite this, he is always sought after by his friends when problem arises, and he will not hesitate to lend a hand. When he’s not studying, he’s actually practicing dance, enjoying it as a hobby that keeps him active.

[fandomshatepeopleofcolor]

Fellow canon anarchist here.... hmm, Thinking about how Roddenberry lowkey canonized Spirk AND confirmed Jim's pansexuality all the way back in 1979 (TMP Novel)... and how Spock is bi by default if you read ALL of the goddamn subtext... and that there's 6 hands to share. Uhura haters have no excuse, Roddenberry's canon says if it works, the ship shall sail.

(Also thinking about the lovely chemistry a K/S/U ship would have... perfect blend of STEM and humanities nerds... cheesy 60s romance flirting... two cats and a dopey German Shepherd...)

Honestly I love kirk/uhura/spock and my biggest problem is that I can't stand the way some ppl only ship it if it's spirk heavy. I know this is a controversial opinion but I really love how in snw uhura wins over spock gradually it's the classic coworkers to friends to lovers slow burn! (My only objection to aos spuhura was that spock was her professor but I still love them sm).

We're doing @uhuramonth every year btw! Actually it's a really good thing you dropped by because I've got to start making new graphics for uhuramonth Jan 2026!!!

mod ali

[gallavichsreddie1128]

You make me nervous (Spock)

Description: Y/N is really nervous around Spock and faints in his arms.

Word Count:761

Request:

Hi could I request a Spock fic where the reader is naturally very shy and has a huge crush on the Vulcan. She always finds herself stuttering in his presence and running away if she gets too overwhelmed with his presence. Little does she know that he also has feelings for her. Something happens and she faints in his arms and both their feelings come out in the open.

Hopefully this all makes sense and is interesting enough. I love your writing 😊

Author’s note: Please someone send in Lore or Q requests!! I wanna write for them but need ideas

Y/N watched as Spock worked on the bridge. Kirk had him doing some small tasks and even though Y/N should be working she couldn’t help but stare at him.

He was beautiful but Y/N knew that since he was Vulcan he would never like her back but that didn’t stop her obsession. “Ensign Y/L/N.” The person spoke her name a few times before getting her attention. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Captain Kirk.

He had a knowing smirk on his face. “You were daydreaming.” He stated. “Yeah I’m sorry. What was it that you needed?” His smirk never went away as he spoke. “You are a part of the away mission under Spock.” Her heart dropped and she stuttered out an okay.She looked at Spock who was now looking at her and she quickly looked away. This would be fun. 

The away mission was in the morning and Y/N paced her quarters. She was nervous, so nervous that she couldn’t even sleep. Sure, she’s been on missions before but never under Spock.

She felt herself shake as she thought about how easy it would be to embarrass herself in front of the man. It was late but not late enough that the knock on her door was weird. “Come in.” She yelled and the person entered.

Thinking it was one of her friends she didn’t face them. “I have a serious problem and I think it’s making me go crazy.” She said to the person. Unknowing to her that it was Spock. “What seems to be the problem, ensign?” She froze. Her heart and her body froze as she heard the voice.

She felt like she couldn’t move or face him at first. “Ms. Y/L/N is everything okay?” He asked after a while of silence. She turned towards him with a smile. One that she forced herself to wear. “Y-yeah. What a-are you doing h-here?” She hated herself for stuttering in front of him.

“I came to speak about the mission but it seems like you have other worries going on.” He states. That was true but she wanted him to stay. “No, we can talk.” She said, wanting to forget what she had said. She gestures for him to sit and he does.

As he was talking, she wasn’t listening. She was too focused on him and the fact that he was in her quarters. Spock could talk all day but he noticed that her face was really red and she was zoning out.

“Y/N, are you okay?” She snapped out of it hearing her first name. “Yes.” She lied and he stood up. “You do not look okay. Maybe you should go see Doctor McCoy.” She shook her head, “It’s not like that Spock.” She says but he was way too close to her. She felt overwhelmed and before either of them could speak again she fainted. 

She woke up and noticed that she was not in her quarters or any quarters for that matter. She was in sickbay. She groaned as the bright light hit her sensitive eyes. “You are awake?” Spock asked, almost sounding relieved.

She was confused. She looked over at him, “Why are we here?” She asked. “You fainted in my arms.” Of course she faints in his arms and doesn’t remember. She sighed and muttered an apology. “No need for an apology. I am just glad you are okay.” He was glad? She looked at him with pure confusion. “Glad? You can feel that?” He almost chuckled at her but held it back.

“Yes. Vulcans hide our emotions but we still have them.” Ah that makes sense. “Why me?” She asked. He looks at her waiting for her to continue. “You care about me? Is that what you’re saying?” She looked so lost and so cute. “Y/N, I do hold romantic feelings for you and I can tell that you do as well.” Her jaw dropped.

Has she been that obvious? She felt embarrassed about that, completely missing what he said. “Spock I was not aware that I had been that obvious. I am terribly sorry.” She said and he tried not to roll his eyes.

“The feeling is mutual. You have no reason to apologize” He tells her. “It’s just I know that you-wait what?” She looked at him. “You have feelings for me as well?” He didn’t answer her but leaned in and kissed the shocked girl. She kissed back after the shockness passed. “Hey you two get out of my sickbay with that.” Bones yelled at them.

[abigbagofnope]

It always seemed odd to me that the Federation had a treaty/alliance with the Cardassians but not the Romulans. They make a treaty, and then the Cardassians capture and torture one of Starfleets best captains.

Thanks to DS9 I do love the Cardassians, but in the early days they were shown quite consistently to be untrustworthy and it isn't until DS9 that we see sympathetic Cardassian charachters-Natima Lang, Tekeny Ghemor, Garak. Of course this is an issue with portrayals of "the enemy" as untrustworthy and brutal, but Romulans don't really have the same problem.

Sure, Romulans are constantly portrayed as back stabbing and sneaky (and it gets tiresome honestly), but we've seen sympathetic portrayals of Romulans since TOS. The Romulan captain defeated by Kirk admits they could have been friends in another life. Spock's Romulan love interest is portrayed as quite an admirable woman. They are enemies, but ones we can understand.

TNG does even better. We have Bochra, Admiral Jarok, N'Vek. We meet the Romulan underground. We have the moment of mutual acknowledgment and the hope for better relations at the end of The Chase. Romulans and Starfleet alike seem to want their conflict to end DS9 doesn't really have many Romulans, but those we do have are seen as potential allies, even if you do have to watch your back around them a bit. Voyager shows us a sympathetic Romulan scientist who tries to help the Voyager crew.

It seems a shame that the potential for a mutually beneficial treaty with the Romulans was never really explored. If the Federation can sign a treaty with Cardassians, why are the Romulans so different?