#LEAVE THE SCIENCE FAMILY (and ghost-in-law) ALONE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mahalidael · 5 years ago

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Those Familiar Spirits

(*sprints up to the podium* FIRST FLYNN FANFIC. sort of. if you don’t count the phantomrose96 one, but flynn doesn’t actually appear in that one so make of it what you will)

Danny was two years old when the police came to their house. He must have thought the flashing lights were fireworks; he ran outside alone to look.

He saw uniforms, a funny black and white car, and a great deal of shouting between the grown-ups. It was July, and very muggy. Flies buzzed around the police cars’ lights as Mom and Dad talked very quietly, and Aunt Alicia yelled, and the police said ma’am, please, we’re trying to help, could you just, ma’am. Ma’am.

Danny ran up to get a better look but was promptly swept up by a police officer and carried back inside as he craned his neck to hear what they were saying.

Mom went inside for a minute and made him and Jazz sit on the couch. She told them gravely, “We’re just going to talk to the nice policemen, okay? Don’t go out there.”

Danny huffed. Jazz noticed his irritation and spoke up. “Can we watch TV if we stay inside?”

“Mm-hm,” said Mom, looking out the window at the lights again, already standing up and gravitating towards them.

Jazz reached for the TV remote and hit the power button with an ease that a four year old will only exhibit when provided with sufficiently busy parents. Danny started chewing on his shirt sleeve as images flashed on the screen; they were big kid cartoons that he had no interest in.

“Mom?” said Jazz, peeking up over the back of the couch.

Mom paused in the doorway and addressed one of the policemen before turning back to Jazz. “Just a second — yeah?”

“Where’s Flynn? He likes this show.”

“Um,” said Mom.

She cleared her throat.

“That’s what the policemen are going to help us with. I’m sure he’ll be back before it’s over.”

Their cousin was not back before it was over. He wasn’t back at all, but this, like most everything else from when he was two years old, fell through Danny’s memory like it was water.

...

Jack had been wary of his sister-in-law coming over for a week. He’d also been wary when Maddie described her sister’s marriage as “getting better” and said that she was “calling off the divorce.”

Anyway, within two days of the visit Danny had gotten it into his head that his uncle’s name was Damn-It-Bob.

But the most disconcerting thing was that Jack couldn’t do much about the situation. Alicia was a notoriously private person, and considered the matter of her marriage between herself, Maddie, and Damn-It-Bob. Trying to get close enough to be allowed into that inner circle was an exercise in self-endangerment. He had tried exactly once in college, and the dislocated wrist he’d gotten out of that arm wrestling match nearly cost him his scholarship.

Getting through to Damn-It-Bob was even more frustrating. Alicia, at least, cared about Maddie’s studies. She didn’t understand them, but looked on with interest as Maddie expertly extracted a sample from the latest ghost specimen and held it up to the light for her sister to see.

Damn-It-Bob was worse than an outsider. He was a snob.

Damn-It-Bob looked like if Alicia didn’t already have a pickup truck, he’d drive a Prius, and if he ever tried tikka masala he’d brag about it. Jack had to assume that if Alicia married him, they had to have some kind of common ground, but damn if he couldn’t figure out what it was. And apparently neither could they.

He had a degree in aerospace engineering, which he constantly emphasized was a really useful science. Alicia didn’t even have to work at the logging company if she didn’t want to keep up the family business.

He tried to charm the kids with pictures of the rockets he’d designed. It worked on Danny, which, yeah, okay, he was two years old, but Jazz seemed to pick up his intentions and tried to steer Danny away. Jeez. If Jack left her alone for five minutes, she might be doing calculus when he came back.

And then there was the kid.

He didn’t even notice that he was there until the Walkers were standing in the living room. Jack had walked behind Alicia to hang up their coats and suddenly saw him standing right behind her.

The kid hadn’t said a word in the entire thirty-minute production of his family coming inside — or if he had, he hadn’t been listened to. He had this sort of rust-colored hair that stuck out in all directions, like they tied up a big ponytail on the top of his head and chopped it off instead of giving him a real haircut.

Getting closer, Jack finally saw why the kid wasn’t talking. He had his nose buried in some book. Oh, so he was one of those, Jack thought. He hadn’t personally been a child who devoured books like a woodchipper, but Vlad had.

In any case, silent reading hour was over. “Hey, bucko!” said Jack. The kid nearly jumped out of his skin, one hand snapping the book shut like a cell phone at the end of a tense call. “Thirsty for knowledge, I see? We’ve got more down in the lab.”

He shrunk away. Alicia noticed and put a hand on his shoulder as she turned her attention away from Maddie. “—so that’s how the union settled. And you two remember Flynn, right?” she said, ruffling the kid’s hair. “We brought him to Danny’s baby shower. He was so shy back then you thought the table was set by a ghost for a solid thirty minutes.”

Maddie’s eyes landed on Flynn and lit up in recognition. “Oh, yeah! I remember. You were at least a head shorter last time we saw you.”

Flynn nodded, staring at his shoes. He hugged the book to his chest like it was a stuffed animal.

Alicia and her husband chuckled politely. “Well, you might have seen him earlier if you didn’t pull out your toys to try and find that ghost,” said her husband, less politely.

“Bob, could you please be civil?” Alicia said under her breath.

“The event was delayed by an hour and we missed our flight over a bunch of—”

“Damn it, Bob—”

“It was a poltergeist, technically,” Maddie laughed nervously, stepping between them, a note of oh lord not this again in her voice.

“Hey, kids, how about we go down to the basement and check out some cool gadgets?” Jack was itching to take Flynn and the children downstairs. He had to ditch the conversation before it went south. “Wanna see what ghost bones look like?”

Flynn actually looked like he was going to respond to that, but Damn-It-Bob cut in. “Flynn probably wouldn’t be interested in theoretical science. He likes studying useful things.”

Yeah, ectoscience was theoretical. You could tell it was bad because it was italicized.

Jack resisted the urge to get passive-aggressive right back. Not in front of the children. “There’s plenty of physical things in the lab that I’m sure Flynn’s gonna love. Every kid loves lasers. Right, Danny?” he queried his son, who was chewing on the leg of the coffee table.

Danny blew a raspberry, which he assumed was a yes. Jack managed to whisk them away before the Walkers started swearing at each other.

He put Jazz and Danny down in the little area of the lab that they’d sectioned off with a foldable plastic dog gate, where Jazz made herself busy putting all the crayons in a straight line before Danny picked them up and started scribbling on the rubber tiled floor.

“So, Flynn! We’ve got some whosits and whatsits to check out. That catches ghosts,” Jack said, pointing at the gadgets skewed across the counter like exploded, “this blasts ghosts, that catches and blasts ghosts, and this is a hot dog maker. What do you wanna see first?”

Flynn shrugged and shuffled an inch backwards.

Okay, this wasn’t going anywhere. Which was odd — they’d opened up the ops center to tourists in the past for alternate revenue, and kids always seemed to be the most excited about the gadgets.

Plan B, he guessed. “What’s that book about, anyway?” he said.

Flynn hesitantly held out the book. Jack took it. It was a big, heavy book, with a hard cover titled The Collected Jack London. Jack went to open it to a random page, but was interrupted when his leafing caused something to fall out from between the pages.

It was a flower. Flynn quickly snatched it off the floor and took his book back, scowling. “It’s sabatia geu — sabatia geutianoides,” he muttered. “It’s one of the rarest flowers in Arkansas, so I can’t pick another one.” He then very carefully flipped to another page in the book, counting the page numbers in whispers until he found the one he was looking for and slipped the flower back inside.

Ah. He could work with that. “Really? Is it the rarest one you’ve got?” he said, posing a challenge.

“Uh, I have Stern’s medlar, but just a leaf I got off the ground. They’re cruh — crit — crit-i-cal-ly endangered.”

“We’ve got some samples of a pretty rare plant ourselves.”

Flynn’s eyes lit up. “Can I see them?”

Jack took Flynn off into a side room. This room was mostly like the last, though being closed to visitors, it was far less organized. He picked Flynn up and lifted him over a heap of spare parts on the floor. “Watch your step.”

A cacophony of containers were heaped on a table in the center of the room. Only a few of them were planter pots that they’d already owned; the rest were old shoeboxes and burned-out pots and pans. They were all filled with soil. Their occupants stretched their purple-black stems towards the overhead sun lamp.

“Rosa sanguinea, also known as the Massachusetts blood blossom,” said Jack. “They were grown in the 1600s — apparently they release an anti-ghost vapor. Unfortunately, we can’t prove whether it works, since we don’t have any intact ghosts to test it on, but they’re delicious.”

“That’s so weird.” Flynn rubbed a black leaf between his fingers, as if he expected the color to come off. “Roses aren’t normally hardy enough to grow inside. And the leaves are naturally black?”

“Yep. Well, maybe. We think they were mutated by long-term exposure to ecto-energy. The biggest patch of them is around Salem, and that place is a hotspot for the natural portals to the dimension ghosts live in,” he said, pointing at the pictures of such that they’d pinned to the corkboard across the room. Jack himself couldn’t believe some of the places that they’d found natural portals in. One of the pictures on the corkboard was of a portal they’d found in a public toilet. “They’re stubborn little buggers, but only in ecto-energized soil — we had to cart the dirt in these pots all the way back from Massachusetts.”

Jack snapped his fingers.

“I’ve got an idea.” He picked up a blood blossom growing in a mason jar and handed it to Flynn. “That’s yours now. Take it back to Arkansas, and it’ll protect you from ghosts.”

“Really?” said Flynn, seemingly more awestruck by the plant itself than any properties it might’ve had. “I can have it?”

“All yours! After all, who knows when you might need it?”

...

Flynn hadn’t wanted to leave Arkansas. He hadn’t wanted to sit in Mom’s funny-smelling truck for ten-odd hours while listening to them argue about money, and ghosts, and damn it Bob, would it kill you to put the toilet paper in the holder the right way just once?

At some of the rest stops, Flynn had stood in the bathroom and stared in the mirror. The door was right behind him and Dad hadn’t left the stall yet. He could just turn around and run into the woods, so Mom and Dad would talk about something other than their horrible marriage.

Because Flynn was ten years old, and the problem that he saw was nothing as complex as an incompatibility of personality, or people growing apart. The problem he saw was that they needed to shut up about the divorce.

That was all he wanted. Something to come in and make them shut up, and make the divorce go away, and put things back where they were supposed to be.

But obviously that’s not how things work. Flynn went outside and picked dandelions that were growing at the edge of the parking lot, and he held them outside the window while they were driving so the seeds would scatter all along the road, and he still ended up visiting Uncle Jack and Aunt Maddie in New York, and Mom and Dad were still fighting over stupid stuff.

Flynn kept trying to put off the tour. He knew that Dad would hate the lab. He stuck with real things, metal and chalk numbers — never mind that one of the major points of contention was the slew of Young Living boxes sitting in their garage. A better statement was that Dad rejected any science he didn’t think he could exploit. Like, son, wildflowers are nice and all, but you know that the real money’s in saffron, right? It sells for twenty-five hundred a pop and it’s not getting any cheaper. Just think about it, son.

“ —converts ectoplasm into a power source.” Aunt Maddie was showing them something embedded in the lab wall. Flynn didn’t really like ectoscience either, but that was mostly because the topic freaked him out. He didn’t like when his friends played that pencil game that let you talk to ghosts, much less when his uncle talked about ripping them apart mmmolecule by mmmolecule.

It just felt kind of rude. They were people, at some point. Everyone knew a dead person.

“Quaint,” said Dad, turning over the hot dog maker he had found on the counter. “Very quaint.” It was his usual word of condemnation. “What’s that hole in the wall?”

It was barely a hole. Not so much because of size, but because it was so badly occupied by a tangle of wire that actually entering it would be impossible. Aunt Maddie said: “Our prototype for a stable portal into the ghost zone.” Dad scoffed, but she smiled tightly and ignored it. “With a reliable and stationary portal, we can collect data faster.”

“And it took you ten years to think of that?”

“Bob, if you don’t want to see it, you can just wait in the guest room,” said Mom, rubbing her temples.

“No, it’s fine, Alicia.” Aunt Maddie sighed. “We’ve been thinking of it. It just took this long to make sure building a portal large enough for a human to enter would be safe. A few years ago, a friend of ours was injured by one that wasn’t any bigger than a car tire — precautions needed to be taken—”

Dad put up his hand in a ‘halt’ gesture. “So, wait. You know that those things can hurt people, and yet you build a big one in your basement, and let your kids in here ?”

“They’re at a safe distance — they’re not even on the same side of the lab,” said Aunt Maddie, eyes narrow.

“Oh, thank goodness you let your toddlers play some paces away from a potential biohazard! ” Dad threw up his hands in fake relief. “I guess that makes it okay, then!”

Aunt Maddie looked like she was gearing up to shout. But she glanced at her kids in their little corner hutch, and seemed to think better of it. “Look, Bob, I — help me understand. Five minutes ago you were calling ghosts ‘fairy tales,’ and now you’re getting on about potentially endangering my children with something that, by your own logic, shouldn’t do anything. What’s your real problem?”

“My ‘real problem’ is that, ghosts or not — and there are certainly not — the fact that someone got hurt at all tells me that you’re tampering with something that you don’t understand—”

“Bob, that’s enough —”

Seed dispersion was one of the fundamental adaptations of the plant world. A seed that dropped straight down from its parent plant was a dead seed. It wouldn’t be able to access sufficient nutrition, water, or light so close.

Mom exiled him and Dad from the lab so she could have a good talk with Aunt Maddie. Uncle Jack awkwardly let them sit on the couch and watch NCIS with him.

“I just think that pseudoscience has no place in being the primary income for a family,” said Dad.

Uncle Jack nodded with a poorly disguised grimace.

“Anyway, have you heard that lavender has anti-autism properties?”

Uncle Jack suddenly excused himself to go to the bathroom. Luckily, Dad seemed to think that the distant laughter was coming from the TV.

Dandelions had a nasty taxonomy. They were wind-dispersed, able to fly up to sixty miles away from their parent plant, where they isolated and readily speciated. This was a large part of the reason why Flynn couldn’t appreciate them without every adult in an eighty-mile radius screaming it’s a weed!

By Sunday, Mom and Dad couldn’t be in the same room together without shouting.

By Wednesday, they wouldn’t speak to each other at all.

By Saturday, they started calling the divorce lawyer again.

That night before they went back to Arkansas, Flynn slept on his aunt and uncle’s couch. He could hear Mom and Dad talking in the guest room above. At indoor voice levels. He didn’t know whether that was good or bad.

The potted blood blossom sat on the end table atop Jack London.

He was woken up at two in the morning when something spritzed him in the face like he was a cat. Flynn squinted in the darkness for what it could be and was immediately spritzed again. He wiped the spray off his face and jolted at the sight of a red smear on his wrist.

A faint hiss was coming from the end table. Flynn watched as the blood blossom emitted a quiet red steam into the air.

He looked around the room nervously. Then he looked out the front window.

At the very end of the street, between the buildings, there was a faint green glow that looked very much like Uncle Jack’s pictures.

Well, of course dandelions were weeds. When something survived too well, humans inevitably got all up in their business, trying to trammel them in. It was a weed because it didn’t cooperate with that.

Flynn didn’t need to pack his bag; he had already loaded everything from the trip back in, but he added some more anyway. He got a knife, a frying pan, and a BIC lighter out of the kitchen. And of course, he took his book and the blood blossom.

Then he walked out the front door for the last time.

It was a muggy July night, and all the lights in the windows were out. The streetlamps pooled in the road. The green light creeped into the alleyway on tiptoe.

Flynn stood before a hole in the world and found himself alone. The hole didn’t appear to properly occupy the alley. It looked like a bad photoshop in person. Just standing a foot away from it, he could feel the static electricity. It felt like it was ruffling his hair in a gesture of approval.

There was a deep hum that might have been the portal, or the flies buzzing around it, or Flynn’s heart getting ready to tear itself from his chest in excitement or fear. He did not know which.

The blood blossom was beginning to overflow its mason jar with red condensation. Flynn poured it out onto the ground. It mixed with the dank puddles in the mundane depressions of the concrete that, absurdly, continued to exist in the presence of something so otherworldly.

Flynn reached through the portal. It felt like cold water — strange, but not icy enough to be unpleasant.

This was what he needed. Something he didn’t know, somewhere his parents couldn’t find him. He could find shelter with those familiar spirits for a little while, and his blood blossom would protect him as his parents looked for him, and then he would come back and they would be so happy and angry to see him that they wouldn’t talk about the divorce again for another year at least, and it would be nice, and it would just be so nice, it would just be so nice when he got back.

And then the light consumed his vision.

...

Twelve years later.

“Jazz? Did you just come through the portal?” Danny squinted at the readout on the specter speeder — the constant green light of the ghost zone made it hard to read at times.

“No?” she said over the speeder’s radio. “I’m still in the lab, why?”

“Because the radar’s picking up signs of life.”

#danny phantom #flynn fenton #dp #dp fanfiction #this flynn goes off the-stove-is-on-fire's version of his backstory btw #flynn walker

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ravnicaforgoblins · 4 years ago

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Ravnica for Goblins

Laws of the Guildpact

Laws are a big deal in most worlds. On Ravnica, laws are literally the only thing preventing ten massive armies of Sphinx, Angels, Demons, Lich, Elementals, Giants, Wizards, Ghosts, Nightmares, and Kaiju from tearing each other apart in perpetual war. How is this possible? It’s possible because the Guildpact is not just words on flimsy paper. Guildpact Laws are Unbreakable Magical Effects. When all ten Guilds agreed to the Guildpact, they granted it absolute power.

How and why would many of the more evil and chaotic Guilds agree to something like this? Because Ravnica’s Guildpact is designed not only to account for each and every Guild’s lifestyle, but to empower it. There are laws that protect necromancy, laws that protect human experimentation, laws that protect torture, laws that protect murder, and laws that actually protect breaking the law. In addition to laws protecting peaceful citizens and law enforcement officials.

How can any civilization function like this? Balance. You may not be able to arrest a Dimir Agent for stealing, but you can absolutely break their face in. The goal of Ravnica’s laws is to preserve all ways of life for the Guilds, for better & for worse. Within your Guild’s set legal parameters, you are not just free but empowered to carry out that lifestyle. That lifestyle is written into the laws and protected by them. Which is why the single most important law is that you’re not allowed to punish a Guild member for obeying the Guildpact.

This is the most important law, but also the law that ended up destroying the Guildpact. House Dimir’s duty is literally to oppose the Guildpact, so when their Parun decided to kill the Boros Parun in broad daylight and got arrested by a Boros Wojek, the system kinda broke itself. Punishing a Guild for obeying the Guildpact by disobeying the Guildpact, resulting in: Error.4 *does not compute*

Fast-forward to the days of Jace Beleren as the Living Guildpact, and the laws have changed somewhat. The only laws that are still magically binding are the laws Jace verbally confirms. Once he does that, the person he says it to need only speak the law aloud and it’s an instantly unbreakable magical effect.

Now comes the tricky, difficult, infuriating part. For being so vitally important to Ravnican life, we don’t actually know what most, or really almost any, of the laws are. How are players supposed to utilize the effects of written laws if they don’t actually exist? Why didn’t WotC release an official Guildpact? That’s because a document that can actually encompass everything the Guildpact is theoretically supposed to be able to do would be an absolutely massive undertaking for a Card Game Company that doesn’t really need it for their card game, just for those of us playing D&D in their setting. Furthermore, even if they did put in the work, create a document, and release it; the internet (that’s us!) would tear it apart for flaws & loopholes. The internet would give the Orzhov, the Dimir, and the Rakdos a run for their money. Hence WotC doesn’t want to do this because it’s literally just a recipe for self-defeat, migraines, and disaster.

So instead, they give us little bits here & there. Promotional materials, card flavor texts, character stories, etc. Here is pretty much everything I’ve been able to gather that is either an Official Guildpact Law, references Law Magic, sounds close enough to Law Magic, or even just sounds true enough to the spirit of a Guild’s core beliefs to be potentially acceptable for invoking Guildpact Magic:

General Laws

*Petty theft is a violation of personal property with a charge dependent on judicial ruling. (Family Values)

*In consonance with the New Accord of the Guild of Ravnica, you are granted the right of exposure and are obligated by duty to present your evidence of financial corruption to the Living Guildpact. (Family Values)

*The Living Guildpact rules that coffee is an acceptable substitution for rest, as specified in subsection . . . whatever. (Catching Up)

*The magic of the Guildpact gives aegis to the spirits pressed into its service. Upon entering the afterlife, they find new focus and are charged with defending the Guildpact against those who would see it broken. (Guardian of the Guildpact)

Azorius Senate

*You have the right to remain silent. (Azorius Arrester)

*Your potential to commit a crime warrants further investigation. (Azorius Justiciar)

*To prevent action is to prevent transgression. (Inaction Injunction)

*We have confiscated your spells as evidence. Once we conclude our investigation, you may petition to have them returned. (Render Silent)

*Thanks to the magic in his Writ of Passage, alms beasts lumbered aside, anarchs bowed their heads, and even Rakdos acrobats rolled their spikewheels out of his way. (Azorius Knight-Arbiter)

*....A clause that ties the average length of prison sentences to recidivism rates. Theoretically, we could end up having negative-term sentences should the rate fall low enough.... Referenced an ancient Azorius Law, 394-H. (The Ascension of Reza)

*Azorius Law 3455-J: Failure to submit proper identification will result in detention for an indefinite amount of time. (The Ascension of Reza)

*If it happened in the Thinktank, I'm afraid we have no jurisdiction there. (The Ascension of Reza)

*Azorius Law 2795-V, Non-compliance with arresters.... (The Ascension of Reza)

*Azorius Law 3343-J, Traveling in a stolen vehicle.... (The Ascension of Reza)

*By the prerogative writ of emergency, and by a unanimous vote, I hereby declare Hendrik Azmerak Grand Arbiter pro tem of the Thinktank Enclave. As the leader of your people, do I have your permission to put the following law into effect? (The Ascension of Reza)

*To be Azorius is to serve as an exemplary model of moral conduct. (Azorius Guild Kit Instruction)

*Always keep your uniform pressed and your armor polished, in accordance with Regulation 654.2, Part 87, Section 28. (Azorius Guild Kit Instruction)

*Should you witness a criminal act, signal the Sky Hussars immediately and begin documenting the occurrence and details of the crime scene. (Azorius Guild Kit Instruction)

Boros Legion

*Your brother’s crimes are your crimes. You stood by and lent support, so you too must face judgement. (Wojek Embermage)

*It promises protection to those in need and proclaims a warning to any who would threaten Ravnican law. (Boros Guildgate)

*Stand tall. Even your posture should embody justice! (Boros Guild Kit Instruction)

*Act with honor, in all things. (Boros Guild Kit Instruction)

*Protect the innocent, at any cost. (Boros Guild Kit Instruction)

*You are never truly off-duty. Evil never rests! (Boros Guild Kit Instruction)

*Stay in top physical condition. (Boros Guild Kit Instruction)

*If you see evil, crush it. (Boros Guild Kit Instruction)

House Dimir

*All those who trade in questions must answer to the Dimir. (Citywatch Sphinx)

*Welcome to the Dimir Public Offices. Not responsible for death or loss of property. Basement off-limits. (Dinrova Horror)

*Do not disclose your affiliations with REDACTED (Dimir Guild Kit Instruction)

*Extract knowledge whenever possible. (Dimir Guild Kit Instruction)

*No fact is unimportant. (Dimir Guild Kit Instruction)

*Always REDACTED. Never REDACTED. (Dimir Guild Kit Instruction)

*Be invisible, silent, and ethereal. (Dimir Guild Kit Instruction)

*Know every exit from any building. it could save your life. (Dimir Guild Kit Instruction)

Golgari Swarm

*Waste nothing. Seek value in what they discard. (Golgari Guild Kit Instructions)

*Death is no excuse to abandon your responsibilities. (Golgari Guild Kit Instructions)

*Take pride in the decay that fuels our kingdom. (Golgari Guild Kit Instructions)

*Fear neither Death nor Darkness. They can be your greatest allies. (Golgari Guild Kit Instructions)

*You are now a part of the Swarm. Every action you take should serve the interests of the Guild, so that we may all rise together. (Golgari Guild Kit Instructions)

Gruul Clans

*We are the heart of the wild, the fire in its eyes, and the howl in its throat. Come, join the battle to which you were born. (Gruul War Chant)

*Nature is the ultimate mindless destroyer, capable of power and ferocity no army can match, and the Gruul follow its example. (Savage Twister)

*They are the voice of the wild, crying out with nature’s fury and bringing forth its primeval might. (Wild Cantor)

*Enter and leave the shackles of society behind. (Gruul Guildgate)

*Burn. Smash. Fight. Win. (Gruul Guild Kit Instructions)

Izzet League

*The only action worth taking is one with an unknown outcome. (Nivix Guildmage)

*Erase “impossible” from your vocabulary. (Izzet Guild Kit Instructions)

*Strive to discover something NEW every day! The point of science is not to endlessly confirm what is known- it is to map the barriers of reality to better demolish them. (Izzet Guild Kit Instructions)

Orzhov Syndicate

*Article 12 of the Orzhovniha, a governing person of Orzhov recognition may be granted entrance to the Obzedat's Chamber with proof of identity. (Family Values)

*Entrance is free. Donations are required. (Syndic of Tithes)

*Alms coins are only redeemable at Orzhov businesses. (Alms Beast)

*The fine print of countless contracts has ensured we are never defenseless. (Immortal Servitude)

*The rights of ghosts are strictly protected under Orzhov bylaws, and those who enforce them can count on the ghosts’ assistance. (Imperious Oligarch)

*Pay in gold. Pay in blood. Pay with the servitude of your spirit kin But pay you must. (Pitiless Pontiff)

*We have no need for military might. We wield two of the sharpest swords ever forged: Faith in our left hand, Wealth in our right. (Castigate)

*Remember by whose gift you ascend. (Gift of Orzhova)

Cult of Rakdos

*If the pig’s blood drips on you, you’re next on the chain. (Gore-House Chainwalker)

*Never suffer alone. That’s selfish. Pain is meant to be shared with others! (Rakdos Guild Kit Instructions)

*Revel in your pain, in all pain, for it is freedom! No wound compares to the suffering of a dull, law-abiding life. (Rakdos Guild Kit Instructions)

*Make a grand spectacle of your pain, and play to your audience! If they aren’t screaming, laughing, or both, your performance has failed. (Rakdos Guild Kit Instructions)

*Blood and fire look good on everyone. And make excellent decorations. (Rakdos Guild Kit Instructions)

*Always be creative, especially in your bloodiest ventures. New modes of carnage delight the Lord of Riots, and it is wise to seek his favor. (Rakdos Guild Kit Instructions)

Selesnya Conclave

*So many oppose us, but we are the reed that bends without breaking. (Druid’s Deliverance)

*From the seeds of faith, great forests grow. (Scatter the Seeds)

*Within the song of Mat’Selesnya, one becomes all. (Camaraderie)

*No one in the Conclave acts alone. (Armada Wurm)

*Just as leaves fall and the tree blooms again, one day I will fall and the Conclave will endure. (Conclave Cavalier)

*Whatever hatred destroys, a single act of trust can revive. (Emmara, Soul of the Accord)

*We are the shield that never breaks, the bough that never burns, the song that can never be silenced. (Join Shields)

*When you hold a shield, lend your shield. (Privileged Position)

*There are no soloists in the chorus of Selesnya. (Trostani, Selesnya’s Voice)

*Enter and rejoice! The Conclave stands united, open to one and all. (Selesnya Guildgate)

Simic Combine

*Life has no mistakes, only experiments. (Skitter Eel)

*Within each of us, the potential for great power waits to be unleashed. (Sauroform Hybrid)

*Look beyond, to the vascular awareness that all life is a map to greater knowledge. (Momir Vig, Biomancy, Volume I) (Biomantic Mastery)

*As I contemplate what is, I dive ever deeper into the depths of possibility. Then I set an experiment in motion and watch the truth rise to the surface. (Gyre Engineer)

*Fruits of magic, roots in science. (Vigean Hydropon)

*The unnatural pressures of life in this city are best withstood by lifeforms that adapt with unnatural swiftness. (Novigen, Heart of Progress)

*Mystery is beauty. Within the unknown we plumb revelation. (Simic Guildgate)

*Analyze every living thing you see, from the smallest tadpole to the mightiest dragon. Each one holds unique secrets of life, ready to be unlocked through careful study. (Simic Guild Kit Instructions)

*Modification of another’s body without their express permission will not be tolerated. (Simic Guild Kit Instructions)

*Learn to see the patterns all around you; let them illuminate truths that transcend species. (Simic Guild Kit Instructions)

*When you study a life form, identify its weaknesses, then eliminate them. (Simic Guild Kit Instructions)

#ravnica for goblins #ravnica #goblins #D&D #dungeons & dragons #roleplaying #mtg #campaign #laws #guild #guilds #guildpact #laws of ravnica #plane

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sanjuno · 5 years ago

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SPOILERS FOR SANJUNO’S NANO 2020 PROJECT

No Evil Abolishing Resentment System

Transmigrator!Madara meets Reincarnator!Tobirama (… 55 times in a row.)

For NaNoWriMo 2020 – How Many AUs Can I Fit In One Fic?

· 0 Tails Interlude

o Meet Sanzan-han

o Introduction to System driven Quick-Transmigration isekai plot

o “The seeds of evil are as follows, to hear of evil and take no action against it, to see evil and take no action against it, to speak of evil and take no action against it.”

o “To do nothing in the face of evil is not a neutral act.”

o “The only thing required for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing.”

· 1st World:

o Crystal Nuclei Zombie Apocalypse with Ability Users and levelling up AU

o Politician!Madara ended up being shoved into a zombie tide by people who thought he was too strong/disliked him before the apocalypse

o Scientist!Tobirama really regrets not preventing that when Zombie Emperor Madara breaks through the city walls and kills everyone in Konoha Base

o Reborn!Tobirama is determined to complete the vaccine he was working on in his first life – also keep Madara alive so he can’t become a super zombie

§ Tobirama would like to say he is surprised by Madara’s competency in zombie annihilation but he remembers how terrifying Zombie King Madara was so he really isn’t shocked that Empowered Human Madara is just as much the living embodiment of Nightmare Fuel

o Madara as evolved Zombie catnip with a mouthy pet fish

§ Madara is absolutely disgusted by the Z-poc Virus undead they are gross, rotting, and go squelchwhen he hits them.

§ Some zombie bits get stuck in Madara’s hair. He has a screaming tantrum and promptly sets the entire horde on fire.

§ Pro-tip: Career politicians should avoid indulging in a crying fit over getting their precious beautiful hair dirty during a fight if they want to be taken seriously by their military escort even if they areso hilariously OP they can indulge in whiny hysterics and not die horribly as a result

o The Zombies are Zetsu

o Oh look Madara’s blood has the key component to creating the zombie vaccine who would have thought

o There is so much angry sex for stress relief, just… so much

· 1 Tail Interlude

o Madara is pissed off that he accidently ended up in a relationship with Tobirama

o Madara wants a refund on this System

o Sanzan-han explains the fine print of “No Evils Abolishing Resentment System” – the Target must have resentment both towards Madara and from Madara

o Madara’s first world was intended to lock his target

o Switching targets will result in a full reset of his karma to level 1 – no cheating by using his previous incarnations accumulated points to get a head start any more

o Madara’s only other valid targets approaching Tobirama’s stats were Hashirama and Mito

o Madara could target someone else but without the heavy accumulation of karma like the Senju-Uchiha bloodfeud situation it would take thousands of lifetimes to accrue 10 tails

o Madara is so mad ^_^

· 2nd World

o Japanese Classic Fable AU

o Crane Wife!Madara being Tsundere with his husband

o Madara is accused of theft and Scholar!Tobirama is convinced to spy on his wife’s weaving

o Madara gets caught ripping out feathers to weave into silks that are sold to pay for Tobirama’s exams

o Madara flies away and is shot down by hunters

o Reborn!Tobirama who is more than a little obsessed with making sure his wife doesn’t have a reason to fly off again

o Madara doesn’t really understand why Tobirama is trying to prevent him from doing anything productive this is weird

o Zetsu is a corrupted monk trying to capture Madara for his feathers/demon core

· 3rd World

o Galactic Empire Mecha Pilots with psychic powers and enhanced bodies versus the Zerg Horde

o Arranged Marriages for the noble class occur based on genetic advantages rather than affection

o Ace Pilot/Mecha Engineer!Tobirama pays less than zero attention to his nominal spouse and heir in favour of developing weapons to fight against the Zerg

o SSS Ace Pilot!Madara resigned to being ignored by spouse, makes friends with in-laws for sheer spite

o Madara framed for sabotage – dies holding off a Zerg swarm

o Science child!Kagami killed by kidnappers

o Reborn!Tobirama pays better attention to his spouse and child while fighting to end the Zerg threat

o The Zerg are Zetsu

o Madara rolls his eyes and sets the Zerg Queen (Kaguya) on fire – Tobirama confused and aroused by his spouse

· 2 Tails Interlude

o Madara wants to know if he’s going to be required to save the world every single time he’s due to earn a new tail

o Sanzan-han: Sources say “probably”

o Madara would question the heavy-handed implication that Zetsu was just using him but he’s still super pissed off about being trapped in a cave for 50 years and then possessed by a demon goddess thing so he’s more than willing the blame Zetsu for all the horrible things that happened

· 4th World

o Japanese Mythical Creature AU

o Kitsune!Madara saves the life of War General/Prince!Tobirama from Yin poisoning

o There’s a snowstorm and Madara has to warm Tobirama up

o Madara is a Calamitous Beauty and killed by cultists who wanted his demon core

o Reborn!Tobirama is doing his best to take responsibility

o Zetsu is the cultists who poisoned Tobirama and killed Madara

o Madara is super pissed off but the shrine and the garden Tobirama builds for him are really nice so maybe he won’t claw the pasty bastard’s face off

· 5th World

o Super Heroes and Villains in a Megamind AU

o Pyromaniacal Villain!Madara “Moon Eye” is obviously an alien and the arch nemesis of the city’s most beloved Hero, Treeman

o Aquatic Hero “Flying Thunder”!Tobirama’s civilian-marine biologist ID keeps getting kidnapped

o Reborn!Tobirama needs to keep Madara sane and honestly that’s easier than it sounds because Madara gets adorably flustered when given sincere compliments and is hilariously easy to distract with questions about his obviously-also-alien pet fish

o #I accidently started dating my brother’s arch nemesis #what do I do? #waiting online for answers

o Sanzan-han is Minion and really likes the exo-suit

o Zetsu is an evil shadow organization trying to take control of the heroes for world domination reasons

o Madara has an invisible Susanoo and as ridiculous as this world can be he’s having fun in it

o “PRESENTATION!”

· 6th World

o Immortal Cultivators AU

o Borderline-demonic/Unorthodox Sect Leader!Madara is getting chased around by Righteous Sect Inner Disciple!Tobirama because Madara keeps nabbing all the good secret treasures that Tobirama needs to prevent the demon realm from breaking free and invading

o Reborn!Tobirama realizes in hindsight that Original Goods!Madara was also trying to prevent the Demon Realm invasion because the Righteous Sects didn’t listen to his initial warnings

o Tobirama eventually pins Madara down as his Dao companion to get access to the booty loot Madara has collected/protect Madara from being targeted by unscrupulous treasure hunters

o The demons/demonic spirits are Zetsu

o Madara is playing whack-a-Zetsu and doesn’t have time for Tobirama’s nonsense

· 3 Tails Interlude

o Sanzan-han praises Madara for his top-notch seduction skillz

o Madara is So Done with this stupid godsdamned fish

o Sanzan-han mentions but doesn’t explain that the accumulation of “affection points” will start having a notable effect on Tobirama soon – so gambatte, Mada-sama!

o Madara tries to ignore the constant hooking up in favour of plotting new ways to kill Zetsu – seeing as the creature is the only thing he can kill in the Other-Worlds without losing the “ExP” that will allow his return home

· 7th World

o Geode Betting Modern AU

o Carver!Madara is a picky spoiled artiste who got blamed for ruining Tobirama’s family

o Reborn-with-Treasure-Senses Appraiser!Tobirama is determined to “get revenge in advance” on Madara only to realize what a dork Madara is

o Tobirama frantically backs off on his face-slapping plot only to overcompensate his way into dating a crazy artist

o #oops

o Zetsu are the yakuza involved in rigging the Geode betting

o Madara is confused by the lack of open warfare but thinks this is a nice vacation

· 8th World

o Greek Monsters AU

o Gorgon!Madara has the strongest stone-gaze in History

o Heroic Demigod!Tobirama arrives to take off Madara’s head for prophecy reasons

o Tobirama’s Quest ends in tragedy – turns out ghosts/guardians of the Underworld don’t turn to stone so Tobirama can’t bring his little brothers out using Madara’s decapitated head

o Madara is hiding from Reborn!Tobirama because he wants to keep in head on his neck, fuckdammit and accidently interrupts the murder of Kawarama and Itama via even more accidental kidnapping

o Tobirama just wants to apologize for overreacting to a very ambiguously worded prophecy that he self-fulfilled – Tobirama is really, really very sorry, really – also wtf give him back his baby brothers

o Zetsu is the Oracle of Kaguya who killed Tobirama’s little brothers and wanted Tobirama/Madara cursed/dead

· 9th World

o Sentinels and Guides are Known AU

o SSS Guide!Madara is 100% going to cut a bitch if these special fucking snowflake godsdamned Sentinels don’t piss off and leave him alone

o 6-sense Alpha Sentinel Prime!Tobirama does not want a Guide who will only slow him down with their coddling nature

o Tobirama rejects Madara/doesn’t acknowledge their nascent connection

o Reborn!Tobirama wakes up out of a zone – wakes up after pulling the Guide he recognized far too late as his own out of the depths of the bay – and promptly terrifies his entire family by going hyper-focused and borderline feral as he takes off to hunt down his Guide

o Tobirama’s Guide – his Guide who is still alive – still alive and not drowned

o Reborn!Tobirama has some lingering trauma to work through btw

o Madara terrifies so many people when he starts inducing hallucinations as a defense mechanism

o Zetsu are dark Sentinel cult masquerading as a shady government organization

· 10th World

o Classic D&D AU

o Harpy Queen!Madara is being plotted against

o Necromancer!Tobirama regrets killing Madara and keeping his soul in a jar when he finds out the truth

o Tobirama let’s Izuna “mete justice” – protip: Uchiha Harpies are actually Furies

o Reborn!Tobirama decides he quite enjoys being Madara’s concubine

o Madara lays an egg

o The Demon Gods trying to break loose and destroy all life get kicked back into the Underworld – insert Zetsu smiting here

o Hashirama is traumatized by his little brother’s loincloth

· 4 Tails Interlude

o Madara throws an epic tantrum over the egg-laying thing

o Sanzan-han doesn’t understand his deal but obligingly flees screaming in terror anyway

· 11th World

o Imperial Court AU

o Fire Priest!Madara is given as a “bride” to Imperial Prince Tobirama to remove Tobirama from the line of succession

o Tobirama considered a “holy child” by the Fire devotees due to his red eyes

o Tobirama realizes too late that his opinion of his “wife” was manipulated so that he wouldn’t be able to gather his full strength to compete with his enemies

o Reborn!Tobirama has goals to 1. Be gay, and; 2. Commit Treason

o Zetsu as the scheming Minister who is actually the bastard child of Empress Dowager Kaguya

o Madara turns the court upside down and shakes because he’s bored and vindictive

· 12th World

o Beastmen in Space AU

o The Tribes are even more stupidly competitive than shinobi Clans but have more space (lol) to spread out so they aren’t at full war with each other

o Snow Leopard!Madara has a female beast form as most Uchiha males do – Uchiha females tend to have male Beast Forms

o Uchiha Do Not switch forms in Public/on the Battlefield and also the Uchiha don’t gender the way the other Tribes do

o White Tiger!Tobirama only discovers this after the Uchiha are destroyed by hostile invasion of Borg-type enemies

o Zetsu are the Borg knockoffs

o Reborn!Tobirama starts courting Madara because rowr and peace happens because kittens – yay!

o Madara uses his carving skills to create power stones that allow High Level Beasts to control themselves

· 13th World

o Castlevania-esque Vampire AU

o Vampires and Humans share a world but live in different realities thanks to magic sub-dimensions

o Vampire Prince!Madara is lazy and hedonistic

o Vampire Prince!Tobirama is disdainful of Madara’s magpie brain

o Zetsu is the Religious extremist Vampire cult that realizes that Madara is the key to tearing down the veil and bleeds him dry to shatter the barrier separating the worlds and free the first vampire Kaguya

o Reborn!Tobirama absolutely refuses to allow the Veil to get torn down again so he gets stupidly “devoted and jealous” over his previously despised betrothed

o Madara is rather offended that the blood drinking is sexy and also that Tobirama is a tasty snack

· 14th World

o Merfolk AU

o Devil Firefish Mer!Madara always knew that the merfolk from the deeper waters would only visit the Volcanic Reef to mate and leave, especially the sharks – but he had still wanted to hope for something more…

o Great White Mer!Tobirama only ever left the Kelp Forest to guard his more hormone driven kin when the pod headed to shallower waters to spawn and let the fry gather strength in the protection of the cove before heading back home

o Tangling with the pretty, poisonous leader of the Uchiha pod was a mistake that could be entirely blamed on his brother’s tendency to overindulge in urchin-spines and share his vices with every mer in the vicinity

o Someone (see: Zetsu) fucks up and pisses off the Ocean

o Seaquakes and the resulting tsunami’s drive all the mer to the deepest-water cities to wait out the disasters

o Madara gets eaten by a giant kraken while defending the fry – Tobirama arrives just in time to see Madara and their son get torn in half

o Reborn!Tobirama courts Madara properly and the Uchiha pod moves into the sea-caves because the coral as too fragile for Tobirama’s peace of mind

o Zetsu are creepy seaweed/anglerfish things

· 15th World

o Virtual Reality Game AU

o Code-writer!Tobirama develops Kenjutsu Mania Online in an attempt to revive his comatose little brothers

o Overworked Detective!Madara gets suckered into the VR game with his little brothers

o Crazy Person (Kaguya) traps all the players in a death game – as you do

o Tobirama gets exposed as a game designer and PK’d

o Reborn!Tobirama parties with Madara and gets married for the ExP bonus

o Zetsu are a computer virus AI like Agent Smith

o Madara uses IRL weapon skills to break the game and his character build before he smashes the Crazy Person open like an overripe melon

o All the little brothers wake up

· 5 Tails Interlude

o Sanzan-han is very proud! Mada-sama is halfway there!

o Madara is throwing a huge fit over giving birth in 2 out of 5 worlds

o But Mada-sama, the massive amount of affection points!

o Fuck your affection points!

o That’s the spirit, Mada-sama!

· 16th World

o Modern Wizards AU

o Dragon Keeper!Madara trips over poachers/dark wizards who kidnapped Ancient Runes Master!Tobirama for evil-ritual-sacrifice purposes

o They accidently end up in a Marriage Bond

o Tobirama suspects Madara of being a Dark Wizard

o Madara is framed and executed – only for the real culprit to be exposed a few months later

o The real culprit is Kaguya and Zetsu natch

o Tobirama explodes a Time Turner

o Reborn!Tobirama drags his new spouse Dark Wizard hunting

o Couple Therapy for dumb Wizards go

· 17th World

o ID Porn in a Miraculous AU

o Masked Hero Phoenix is consistently pursued and wooed by his partner in crime fighting, Dragon

o PoliSci TA!Madara has a raging brain crush on Bio-Chem Doctorate Student!Tobirama

o An ill-advised insult/rejection causes Phoenix to darken and self-destruct

o A grief-stricken Dragon “teleports” his mind back in time

o Madara is so confused by Tobirama and his new stalker tendencies

o Kaguya is RabbitMoth and Zetsu are the Akuma

· 18th World

o Really Cheap Silmarillion Knockoff AU

o Spell-Singer!Madara is driven mad by an Oath that was forced on him by a Messenger done Dark

o Kaguya as the evil god and Zetsu as her evil Messenger

o Forger!Tobirama doesn’t pay attention to extenuating circumstances until it’s too late and the bodies are buried

o The World goes to shit for 3 ages because Tobirama’s shinies are the shiniest

o Reborn!Tobirama devotes himself to fucking over Zetsu’s evil schemes and making pretty baubles for Madara

o The fact that Madara’s new hairpin can level a mountain range is incidental and has nothing to do with Tobirama’s paranoia

o An ancient mystery re. parentage is solved when Madara sings Kagami into being right on schedule – Tobirama is delighted to assist this time

· 19th World

o Steampunk AU a la FF flavour

o Enemy Nation!Madara is the Prince/General who goes crazy due to infection from alien viral lifeform

o HoL Companion!Tobirama as a Prince of the protag Nation who are prophesized to save the world from Calamity

o World goes to shit

o Zetsu is the Scourge and Kaguya is Jenova/the Accursed

o Tobirama is too impatient to wait out the “time-skip”

o Reborn!Tobirama sneaks into the enemy stronghold – finds pre-infection!Madara imprisoned with tiny clone-child Kagami and steals them both

o Cue roadtrip shenanigans as both sides try to track them down

o Madara gets to one-man-army the forces of evil – Tobirama is very impressed

· 20th World

o Demon Hunter AU

o Incubus!Madara has a “food allergy” and has been stuck at the physical age of 13 being fed energy by his family members for the last 200 years

o Functionally Ace Demon Hunter!Tobirama pegs Madara for a sex demon on sight because the lust whammy is legit the most distracting thing to ever happen to him and that incubus looks like a child ew

o Tobirama sets a trap for Madara and is mean about it because he doesn’t appreciate the second-hand bad-touch feelings – trigger warning: allusions to non-con gangbang

o Madara kills the “bait” and Tobirama bursts into the room

o Tobirama sees adult!Madara in the aftermath of the carnage and is horrified to recognize his soulmate

o Madara proceeds to vomit blood and dies at Tobirama’s feet – the allergy is no joke

o Tobirama learns about Madara’s “allergy” from revenge rampage Izuna – recognizes that Izuna is Touka’s soulmate and doesn’t fight back

o Tobirama regrets so hard he magics his soul back in time to the day he first saw Madara

o The most awkward dating adventure begins

o Zetsu are the actually evil demons who eat people for real – and not in the fun way Uchiha do

· 21st World

o Gods AU

o Ocean Kami!Tobirama realizes too late that he loved Volcano!Kami Madara and was unable to rescue him from the Underworld – that trick never works

o Reborn!Tobirama starts bringing Madara tributes, averts the Twilight of the Gods via shameless debauchery, and accidently builds a tropical island honeymoon palace to spoil Madara in

o Zetsu are the evil servants of the “god-eating Titan” Kaguya

· 6 Tails Interlude

o Lots of Madara screaming about how the Powers That Be are far too fucking obsessed with seeing Madara get railed

o Sanzan-han goes no-duh, most lifeforms devote about 99% of their spare life energy towards reproductive efforts

o Madara is very grumpy about being a SSS Class Ninja Nightmare reduced to pillow-book wish-fulfillment fantasy fodder

· 22nd World

o Noodle Dragon AU

o Dragon King of the Northern Ocean!Tobirama and Quetzalcoatl!Madara courting shenanigans

o OTL!Tobirama fucked up and led Hunters (Zetsu) to OTL!Madara’s nest and they stole his heart for black magic doomsday ritual

o Madara ended up a stone statue curled around the shattered remains of his first egg

o Reborn!Tobirama is determined to be a properly attentive mate

o Madara is resigned to laying eggs again

· 23rd World

o GoT-knockoff Medieval AU

o Madara gets burned at the stake as a witch, doesn’t die, and then gets torn apart by a terrified mob

o Northern Lord!Tobirama realizes that he done fucked up and needs Madara to beat the evil ice zombies

o Reborn!Tobirama starts wooing an extremely cranky pyro-prince while trying to give the Uchiha Crown Prince more positive PR with the peasantry to avoid another riot

o Zetsu are the Others, Kaguya as the Night Queen

· 24th World

o ‘Taur AU – Tribal Setting

o Leopard-Taur!Madara lives high up in the Mountains

o Tiger-Taur!Tobirama is poisoned and delirious during a fated encounter – he doesn’t learn what happened or who saved him until after both prides are mostly destroyed

o Reborn!Tobirama manages to avoid delirium induced amnesia and starts stalking Madara with the intent to make love not war

o Zetsu are corrupted from using radioactive/poisonous Power Stones to boost strength, Kaguya is actually parasite queen

· 25th World

o Exorcists and Ghosts AU

o Cursed Ghost!Madara lingers in the courtyard he called home while he was alive

o Kagami wanders in during the ghost hour and Madara shoves him into a cabinet to protect him

o Exorcist!Tobirama finds out that Madara was still protecting Kagami from the devil spirits – not haunting him – only after the devils grow stronger and get free after ghost!Madara is destroyed

o Reborn!Tobirama needs to figure out a way to woo his past incarnation’s very justifiably angry murdered consort before Madara denies Tobirama visitation rights

o Zetsu are devil spirits who cursed Madara to death, Kaguya wants to consume Kagami for power

· 26th World

o Midsummer Night’s Dream AU

o Fairy Prince!Tobirama gets dosed with love potion

o Meets Dark Forest King!Madara

o Falls in potion induced love – which gets Tobirama invested enough to forget his previous prejudices and fall in True Love

o Then Madara dies

o Reborn!Tobirama is now immune to Love Potions because he is in True Love with Madara – fuck you, cheating bastard traitors to the Fairy Crown

o Tobirama runs off into the Dark Forest to snag himself a Goblin King (and break Hashirama out of Love Potion induced insanity, natch)

o Zetsu as the dirtbag fiancée, Kaguya as the dark fairy trying to take over both kingdoms

· 27th World

o Naga AU

o Banded Sea Kriat!Tobirama tangles with in-heat Black Hooded Tiger Snake!Madara and doesn’t realize until later that the whole situation was a bloodmage trap

o Zetsu are the bloodmages

o Tobirama finds Madara’s still bleeding skinned body a few weeks after they tangle – manages to get Madara’s skin and their still-curing egg back from the hunting team

o Tobirama tries to save their egg and fails – it was taken from Madara too soon

o Tobirama hunts down the bloodmage and dies in killing them

o Reborn!Tobirama gives Madara proper aftercare – notes the bloody wound from the unwanted heat inducing potion – and hauls Madara back to his den for proper nesting

· 28th World

o Magical Knight AU

o Storm Knight!Tobirama damages Evil General!Madara’s control seal during the battle of the week

o Tobirama then runs into amnesiac in civilian ID Madara after the fight and goes on a date

o Tobirama still end up killing Madara when the brainwashing is reapplied – prolonged death scene reveals that Madara was mind-controlled not committing betrayal

o Reborn!Tobirama puts significantly more effort into ensuring that the control seal is completely removed from “General Indra”

o Madara helps defeat the Ancient Evil while wearing leather booty shorts

o Kaguya as Mettalia, Zetsu as the Youma

· 7 Tails Interlude

o Forget about the indignity of being Tobirama’s go-to baby incubator – Madara is absolutely flipping his shit over the booty shorts

o Sanzan-han thought they were quite flattering on you, Mada-sama!

· 29th World

o Blood Magic AU

o Demon Lord!Madara gets honeytrapped by Blood Mage!Tobirama and stabbed from behind by Hashirama

o Tobirama turns Madara’s body into a scrying gem to steal his powers and secrets

o Snooping through Madara’s memories of their courtship lets Tobirama discover that Madara’s “evil plot” was a baby Kagami now cold in his cradle

o Reborn!Tobirama is doing everything in his power to keep his family from finding out about Madara because the Senju’s whole “thing” is demon hunting and stealing their magic

o Kaguya as the creepy Ancestor of the Senju clan who started the demon killing habit, Zetsu as the twisted remains of Senju elders who cursed themselves due to magic addiction

· 30th World

o Phantom Thief AU

o Kaito!Tobirama has to watch as his dear Detective!Madara gets gunned down by the Black Organization

o Reborn!Tobirama first tries to send Madara away for his own safety – has a control freak panic attack when he can’t see Madara

o Tobirama proceeds to go full disclosure overcompensation trying to keep Madara safe

o Madara is a Sigh and steals all nine bijuu tama while Tobirama is sorting himself out

o … Tobirama would like to know when his dear Detective learned to pick locks but before that there is a very serious problem that has arisen in Tobirama’s pants that needs to be dealt with because that was the smoothest heist Tobirama has ever borne witness to holy shit

o Zetsu as the Black Organization looking for the magic gem Kaguya

· 31st World

o Transformers AU

o Decepticon!Madara is Sunspot and Autobot!Tobirama is Whitespace

o The Great War happens – Kaguya-as-Unicron wakes up and eats most of the planet and population

o “That’s no moon.”

o Whitespace yeets his spark back in time and attempts to if not stop then at least delay the start of the Great War

o Reborn!Whitespace ends up pair-bonding with Sunspot to rob the Decepticons of their Air Commander

o A 3rd faction forms separate from the High Council versus Violent Terrorist Extremists options

· 32nd World

o Beauty and the Beast meets Hanahaki Tragedy AU

o Imprisoned Guest!Tobirama heads home for The Visit and stays away too long – not longer than he promised, but Beast!Madara was days away from suffocation

o Tobirama comes back to a silent castle and finds Madara on his bed surrounded by blood and the flowers that had burst out from under his skin

o Reborn!Tobirama is determined to break the curse – Madara is just really tired and in pain

o What kind of fucking sadist curses a kid with roses growing inside their body – Madara was 13 when this shit started and his body knows it

o True Loves Kiss ensues (and also Itama and Kawarama beat the shit out of Zetsu for cursing their new brother in law)

· 33rd World

o ABO ElfQuest-ish AU

o Alpha!Tobirama thinks he was tricked into marriage hunting Omega!Madara as part of a plot against the Senju Kingdom – everyone knows that you can’t trust Dark Elves

o Tobirama finds out too late that there are evil forces on the loose that only the Uchiha are aware of – that’s why the Dark Elves are called Dark Elves, because they hunt evil in the dark

o Madara is caught and left mutilated for Tobirama to come across just as he made up his mind to treat his mate better

o Reborn!Tobirama misses his cue from the original setup – but he still finds Madara hiding in a waterfall cave because fuck no, no more fucking fucking

o Spoiler: Madara gets fucked good and hard

o Tobirama and Madara go demon hunting together

o Zetsu are the Madkin demons created by Kaguya’s twisted flesh-shaping

· 34th World

o Wonderland AU

o Evil Dictatorship ruling family Uchiha Clan are actually held captive by their Palace – it’s a seal keeping a demon asleep and powered by the Uchiha who live inside the castle – the Uchiha don’t actually do much ruling, the Council of Elders is where the majority of the corruption is

o Revolutionary!Tobirama kidnaps Crown Prince of Hearts!Madara during the siege to “free” Wonderland which lets the demon loose so Tobirama is forced to marry Madara and have kids quick due to being responsible for the plan that killed off 99% of the Uchiha

o Also people born with red eyes get married to the Uchiha in the Kingdom of Hearts – those with red eyes have hearts that cannot be fooled or controlled (meaning they’re able to see through the demon’s tricks)

o Reborn!Tobirama has just enough time to alter his plan for the attack on the Palace of Hearts – then he walks in on the turncoat guards who gave the Revolution entry to the Palace making comments about sexually assaulting Madara

o Tobirama bursts in before Madara can break their skulls and “saves” his future husband

o Most of the Uchiha survive this time – only the Elders get killed

o Tobirama marries Madara again and gets to work on revamping the bad laws

o Zetsu is the Jabberwocky

· 35th World

o Werewolf Fighting Ring AU

o Alpha Werewolf!Tobirama was unwillingly mated to Alpha Werewolf!Madara when he was caught and held prisoner by slave traffickers

o Tobirama rejects Madara once they’re free of the arena but makes sure to “payback” Madara for his “humiliation” first

o Madara had been given heat drugs the entire time and didn’t remember what Tobirama resented him for

o Madara ends up dying from mate-loss

o Tobirama is focused on bringing down the slavery ring and doesn’t know Madara died – until Hashirama sends him a letter about how his mate “didn’t make it through the birth” and asking him to get back for the funeral

o Tobirama finally slows down – reads the file on Madara he has been ignoring since he found it – and breaks

o Reborn!Tobirama is focused on treating Madara as a proper mate while also getting revenge on the Slavers

o Madara is going to rip out so many throats out over being pregnant again

o Zetsu as the warlocks running the slave rings to feed Kaguya power

· 36th World

o Star Wars AU

o By-the-Code Jedi!Tobirama tends to bisect all the “darksiders” he runs into – kills Izuna during a mission

o Madara does full dark-side rage and Empress Kaguya takes over

o Zetsu as the Darkside clone army

o Reborn!Tobirama is a lot less saber-happy and has learned that the Uchiha are not dark – more wild/grey

o Ends up Force Bonded to Madara to bring Balance

· 8 Tails Interlude

o Madara has a screaming breakdown to the tune of “why fucking Tobirama?!?!?!”

o Sanzan-han is like “He resented you the most? Duh? No Evil Abolishing Resentment System?”

o Madara tries his best to fry the stupid gods-be-damned-twice fish

· 37th World

o Sex Slave Soulmate AU

o War-Mage!Tobirama uses borderline-forbidden magic to make Kagami – shatters his soulmate link to do so, which is what makes the magic unpopular but not illegal as nobody is actually “harmed” by the spell

o Note: Kagami is now the living embodiment of the link

o Kagami finds Courtesan!Madara in a high-end brothel that is a front for nobles to buy magically bound sex-slaves – this is actually super forbidden magic, btw

o Tobirama saves Madara and the other enslaved thralls while rescuing Kagami

o Madara had enough magic to fight against the enchantment and managed to get Kagami out of the brothel – that’s how Tobirama knew where to attack

o No follow through after the rescue – Madara and the others are left under the enslavement seals

o Madara ends up assaulted/dead/silenced by the nobles who used to patronize the brothel and slave market

o Reborn!Tobirama moves faster and has already figured out how to break the enslavement curse – gets to the brothel before Madara manages to get Kagami out again

o Mexican standoff ensues – Tobirama rescues his soulmate and kid

o Madara gets freed from the curse

o Courting ensues when their soulmark repairs when they touch after the curse is broken

o Kaguya as the evil mage who was using the brothels as a power source, Zetsu as her simulacrum servants

· 38th World

o Mythos AU

o Dragon!Tobirama is married to Phoenix!Madara and resents it

o Madara has bad PR and Tobirama listens to rumours so he ignores Madara as much as he can

o Civil War erupts – Madara hides Kagami when their Palace is attacked and is a distraction

o Tobirama finds his spouse ritually violated to steal his “fire”

o Reborn!Tobirama is a much more enthusiastic spouse and realizes that Madara is a fluffy sap

o Zetsu as the invading horde of magic thieves

· 39th World

o Angels AU

o Angel!Tobirama is “tempted” by Fallen!Madara

o Tobirama kills Madara and kicks off a new War In Heaven

o Regret hits when Tobirama finds Kagami’s body after Danzo kills him… in an exact mirror of how Tobirama tricked Madara

o Reborn!Tobirama decides to “prove” that Madara is “evil” before killing him this time to keep the War from happening again

o Tobirama gets his nose rubbed in Madara’s ability to love his family

o Zetsu as actual demons who are trying to kill off both Angels and Fallen

· 40th World

o Fae Marriage Hunt AU

o Winter Fae!Tobirama was a petty bastard and resisted his betrothal to the point a Marriage Hunt was the only option

o Skinchanger!Madara wins the Hunt

o The peace between the High Court and the Wild Hunt collapses after Madara is killed during a diplomatic meeting

o Reborn!Tobirama decides to play along/use his “marriage” to make the peace permanent

o Tobirama gets his misconceptions challenged when Madara rides his cooperative “willing” bride into the ground

o Kaguya as an evil Fairy Queen with Zetsu as her Greymalkin

· 41st World

o The Mummy AU

o Archeologist!Tobirama accidently triggers mummy!Madara’s awakening and the crazy demon cultists take advantage

o Madara lets Tobirama kill him rather than let the cultists sacrifice Tobirama

o Tobirama gets an info dump on Madara’s trauma

o Reborn!Tobirama uses the evil cult to resurrect Madara properly and woos the ancient shogun like a boss

o Kaguya as even more ancient evil Mummy and Zetsu as obsessed cultists

· 42nd World

o Labyrinth AU

o Adventurer!Tobirama keeps meeting a mysterious “king” in his dreams – King of the Labyrinth!Madara keeps a veil over his head and his hands covered by extra-long fluttery sleeves

o Tobirama has to beat the Labyrinth to rescue his little brothers

o Paranoid Tobirama gets tricked into betraying Madara by goblin Zetsu – the Labyrinth collapses

o Tobirama’s little brothers are killed along with all the other kidnapped children – the energy from their deaths and the destruction of the Labyrinth is used to fuel the resurrection of a Demon God Kaguya

o Tobirama dies taking his revenge after learning the full story

o Reborn!Tobirama is much more willing to “dance” with Madara now that he knows Madara is as much or more a prisoner than the stolen children

o Madara was used as a lure – his fingers bound in wire and his eyes sewn shut – but they miscalculated because Madara was still the King and wouldn’t let anyone who can’t complete his Labyrinth reach the children

o Tobirama completes the Labyrinth… after he frees Madara

o Yay romantic dance sequences

· 43rd World

o Four Kings AU

o Byakko!Tobirama gets trapped in a blood-and-wine seal

o Suzaku!Madara runs afoul of Tobirama’s enemies, kills them all in a rage, and trips into Tobirama’s trap with him

o Violent coitus ensues

o Madara breaks the seal once the trap’s power has been exhausted and runs away

o Tobirama wakes up with a blank memory as a result of the seal

o Madara lays an egg – Kagami hatches

o Zetsu as Minions of the God-Eater Kaguya catch Madara while he’s weak and sacrifice him thinking he still contains the combined essence of Byakko and Suzaku

o Hey but actually Madara’s power was at a low ebb because he spent it all on Kagami so no resurrections for you, stupid doomsday cult

o Tobirama rescues Kagami – baby bird begs the tiger to save his mama – is too late

o Reborn!Tobirama gets to watch his past!self deflower the avatar of Suzaku and oh shit that means Kagami is my son? Tobirama is a scream

o Time to gather the Four Kings and destroy a Demon Cult! Mito is Seiryuu and Hashirama is Genbu.

· 44th World

o Warprize Ger AU

o Imperial Prince!Tobirama is given as a consort to Ger Emperor Madara as part of a Senju plot

o Tobirama is unaware that his attendants are using him to poison Madara but is super pissed at his father for giving him away as a treaty gift

o Madara dies birthing Kagami but reveals to Tobirama that he was glad to marry him – Kagami is worth it and Tobirama was the only man to ever give Madara flowers

o Kagami learns that it was a Senju plot that killed his mother and hates Tobirama for his part in it

o War erupts between the Uchiha Empire and the Senju Kingdom again and destroys both countries

o Reborn!Tobirama decides to overturn all his father’s plan and dotes on his Imperial Spouse – so manyflowers are given

o Madara is an amazing Emperor and newly crowned Emperor Hashirama is super thrilled to have such peaceful relations with his neighbour thanks to Tobirama’s beautiful love story

· 45th World

o Buddy-cop StarTrek Federation AU

o Senju-With-Tentacles, Psychic!Uchiha-With-Horns

o PHEREMONE MARKERS~!!

o Zetsu are the Borg

o Kagami is a Tube Baby

· 9 Tails Interlude

o Madara is freaking the fuck out the last set of worlds were uniquely traumatizing – especially the Labyrinth one

· 46th World

o Loveless AU

o Sacrifice!Madara has learned to fight on auto – the first Sacrifice to figure out how to do so, and he doesn’t stop fighting even when his Fighter shows up

o Fighter!Tobirama never wanted a Sacrifice because he didn’t want them to get hurt and he sees Madara acting as a Fighter so he doesn’t believe that Madara is a Sacrifice

o The name of their Bond is Devotion

o Madara gets targeted by a swarm of Dr. Kaguya’s fake-bonded Zetsu

o Tobirama finds Madara’s body in Kaguya’s lab and uncovers the Bond too late to save his Sacrifice

o Reborn!Tobirama is hyper overprotective and Madara trounces his Fighter’s ass up and down the street until he feels better about living in a reality with a world-wide virginity fetish

· 47th World

o Witch Madara and Magical Creature Tobirama

o Tobirama is cursed into a human form

o Tricked into thinking that he has to kill Madara/a Witch to get the curse broken?

o It was all a lie

o Tobirama twisting the curse to go back in time instead of dying

o Madara is too gods-be-damned-again tired for this nonsense

· 48th World

o Stargate AU

o Head Scientist of the Expedition Tobirama

o Leader of the surviving “Ancients” Madara

· 49th World

o Welcome to Nightvale AU

o Tobirama, the Scientist

o Madara, the Sherriff of the Secret Police

· 50th World

o BDSM AU

o Tobirama IDS as a Switch but he’s service oriented non-dynamic instead

o Madara thinks toys/scenes are silly – demi-romantic/grey-ace Madara rides again

o Tobirama has cultural dissonance meeting a “Dom” who likes being the one fucked

· 51st World

o TRON?

· 52nd World

o Tyrant CEO/Entertainment Circle

· 53rd World

o From another world AU

o Tobirama drops into Fantasy Land from a Modern-ish Naruto World

o Madara as the Villainous Noble who was “jealous” of Tobirama’s magic power

· 54th World

o Last Unicorn AU

o Madara is the Kirin

o Tobirama as a Wizard who likes Science more

· 55th World

o Dragon Raja AU

· 10 Tails Interlude

o Sanzan-han reveals why they were helping Madara – and fade to black

· Return to the Warring Clans Era

o Canon is About to Be Diverted

o Madara is back on the battlefield where Izuna died

o Promptly summons Sanzan-han to stop this fucking bullshit – Sanzan-han has ascended and become a massive dragon so yeah the battle is definitely over now

o Tobirama appears to be having a migraine – whoops looks like the arrival of Sanzan-han has started the data-dump of all Tobirama’s System-generated memories into canon!Tobirama

o Peace and Konoha happen

· Epilogue/Extras

o Tobirama has Suspicions regarding his shiny new memories – especially because he remembers seeing that fish. Everywhere. All the time. Stupid fish.

o Everyone is very confused by how fast Tobirama and Madara get over the war and hook up but yay peace? Also Madara and Tobirama somehow make a baby and everyone is too busy trying to figure out how that works to complain anymore.

#Sanjuno's ficwork #NEARS #No Evil Abolishing Resentment System #MadaTobi #TobiMada #Pray for me friends this is how I die #Transmigrator meets Reincarnator #In which Sanjuno gets to be pretentious about how her MC hooking up with the ML is required for plot larger purposes than mere romance #NaNoWriMo 2020

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acousticcheeze · 4 years ago

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Here's my 100 questions for my OC thing!

My OC is Laureli, a 6'2 Altmer trying to make his way in Skyrim

1. What do they smell like?

Whatever alchemy ingredient he’s been working with, really. Lavender is what he smells like most often, though.

2. What is their voice like?

A smooth-ish medium pitch Altmer voice that has elements of calm and irritation.

3. What is their biggest motivator?

Helping others through his alchemy. He wants to improve medicine for Skyrim, as well as all of Tamriel.

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

He had a whole scientific presentation one year that ended up being completely wrong. He got humiliated in front of everyone.

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

Winces at it, curses, and then gets to treating the problem.

6. What do they like to wear?

Functional clothes that keep him warm and allow him to carry alchemy ingredients in his pockets.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

The relationships with some of the people he’s helped over the years. It gave him a sense of purpose and fulfillment knowing that he could help people, save people.

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

He’s an alchemist...in Skyrim...I’m pretty sure there are a few contenders… (giants toe, large/small antlers, ectoplasm, the list goes on)

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

Normal side sleeper. Prefers to sleep on his left side.

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

Horker stew. It’s actually way better than he thought it would be.

11. What do they feel most insecure about?

If what he’s doing is good enough. He has big problems with perfectionism that still persist with him even after leaving Summerset.

12. How do they like to dress?

Robes with an alchemy enchantment and a hood.

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?

He tries to shake them off, but has panic attacks and whatnot sometimes as a result of them.

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?

Is completely shattered by it. He’s dealt with this so many times before, though, so he keeps his cards close to his chest.

15. What is their greatest achievement?

Creating potions that help much more than the average cure disease potion would, as well as all sorts of other concoctions. Also, he’s created a sort of disinfectant and is working on a hand sanitizer.

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Cranky, cranky, cranky.

17. What are they like when they’re drunk?

Drunk? Oh no no no no Laureli does not drink (and even if he did he’d be out real quick)

18. What kind of music do they enjoy?

He isn’t really into music, but he enjoys the songs the bard plays at the Bannered Mare.

19. Are they right or left handed?

Right, but is practicing with his left hand too in case something happens to his right.

20. Fears?

Death and failure, mostly.

21. Favorite kind of weather?

As the sun rises and there’s dew all over the grass, the light reflecting through each drop.

22. Favorite color?

The color of eyes. Or, more specifically, the hundreds of little pinpricks of different colors inside of eyes, It’s really quite fascinating.

23. Do they collect anything?

OH YEAH. So many different alchemy ingredients and random stuff to be used in his next works-

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

Cold, which is good since he lives in Skyrim.

25. What is their eye color?

Chartreuse (like most Altmer)

26. What is their race/ethnicity?

Altmer

27. Hair color?

White

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

Yup. Breezehome is small, but manageable, and Whiterun is a decent hold to live in.

29. Are they a morning person?

Yes. He gets tired around 9 and can’t stay up past 12.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise.

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

Very organized. Again, he’s a perfectionist.

32. Pet peeves?

People touching his things as well as people inserting themselves into his business.

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

An amulet of Talos a Nord gave him. He hadn’t gotten the chance to learn much about Talos at home, and he found it very interesting talking to the local Nords about their beliefs. That amulet reminds him of his first day in Skyrim, the first day of his new life.

34. Least favorite food?

Taffy treats, or anything with that sort of texture and stickiness that can get stuck to his teeth very easily.

35. Least favorite color?

Very pale green. It looks gross.

36. Least favorite smell?

Death. (Yes, death has a smell)

37. When was the last time they cried?

Recently.

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

No. Oh Auri-el, no no no no. He cries alone and he makes sure of it.

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

Was in a fire when he was younger, he has a burn going up the inner leg on his right leg.

40. Do they have any scars?

Only mental ones. (and the burn scar on his leg)

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?

Perfectionism, past abuse, self hate, among others.

42. Do they have any bad habits?

Picking at his nails. He knows it makes them hurt and get bloody, but sometimes he just can’t help it.

43. Why might someone dislike them?

He can be very rude if he’s working, but to be fair, it is really annoying to be bothered in the middle of your work.

44. Why might someone love them?

Who wouldn’t love an overworked science boye? But in all seriousness, if he loves someone, he will be very caring towards them and is also just great listener. Tries not to care any more though because of personal trauma.

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

Yup. He’s heard of people’s encounters with them. Honestly, you’d be stupid to not believe in them.

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

At this point? No. Farkas later down the line? Yes.

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?

Farkas, but we ain’t talking about that yet~

48. Are they dating/married to anyone?

49. Do they like surprises?

No. Please do not surprise this poor man he will stagger back and crash into everything.

50. When is their birthday?

9th of Hearthfire (September 9th)

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

He takes a few seconds to acknowledge it and then gets on with his work.

52. Do they have any family?

Yup! A Mom, a Dad, a younger sister, and a male cousin that lives nearby (he’s in the Thalmor and the whole family has very Pro-Thalmor views)

53. Are they close to their family?

HAH- no~

54. What is their MBTI type?

INTJ (Damn this list for making me look up stereotypes for this. Honestly I hate the MBTI system so much-)

55. What is their zodiac sign?

Virgo

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

Ravenclaw

57. What D&D alignment are they?

If lawful chaotic good was a thing then yes

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

Yes, but they are often so tangled up that it’s hard to get any real meaning from them.

59. What are their views on death?

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’ll be fine-” Hopes that he’ll be fine but is really scared about it.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

Bad science puns. He will stifle a chuckle before telling you how bad your joke was.

61. When bored, how do they pass time?

This man does not get bored. He will always find something alchemy related to study or look into.

62. Do they enjoy being outside?

Yes. Laureli loves the Skyrim weather (for the most part. Places like Dawnstar and Winterhold suck)

63. Do they have an accent?

Yes. He has the typical Altmer accent.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

“Why is this here? This isn’t mine.”

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say

He would probably take too long deciding and die before he could do/say anything.

66. How do they feel about sex?

Sex repulsed asexual.

67. What is their sexuality?

GAY

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?

Nope.

69. Is there anything that they find really gross?

He’s seen so much it would take a lot to surprise him here.

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

Grumpy scientist with no people skills.

71. Do they enjoy helping people?

Yes, definitely

72. Are they allergic to anything?

Not really. (Lucky)

73. Do they have a pet?

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

Nope, unless you press his buttons. His anger is pretty much “What in the name of Auri-el is wrong with you?! Don’t touch my equipment!!”

75. How patient are they?

Very...until you hit his limit. Then he gets passive aggressive.

76. Are they good at cooking?

Not really. He can be good at it, he just chose not to learn in favor of working on his projects. Can make enough to live on, though.

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

He doesn't have a favorite insult (he rarely insults people).

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?

Talking fast, pacing, flappy hands.

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?

Try to avoid bringing those fears up around them and avoiding making fun of them. If their fear is nearby, he will either tell them or take care of it. (which is good because Farkas is scared of spiders)

80. Are they trustworthy?

Yes, but you have to be a very certain kind of person to work with him.

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?

Sometimes, especially romantic feelings. Romantic attraction? Nope, not possible- (It totally is; he’s in denial)

82. Do they exercise regularly?

With all of the walking he does around various holds, yes.

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?

Yes. He’s a perfectionist with many things, but has learned to let go a bit more when it comes to his appearance. He still will take ages to get ready, though.

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?

Tattoos, braids, basically everything you’d see on a typical Nord. It’s so different from his home and he’s completely enamored.

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?

Himbo nord men. Sweet morons basically.

86. Do they like sweet foods?

Not really. Sweet foods do have their place, but he isn’t wanting to get any cavities, so he tries to limit his sugar. (Especially since Altmer live 200-300 years aprox)

87. What is their age?

52 (~20s for an Altmer)

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?

Tall, but about average for an Altmer

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?

No, but if he did he would have half-moon spectacles.

90. Do they consider themselves attractive?

Not really. He doesn’t really think anyone is attractive. (Well, except for Nord himbos, but he doesn’t know that until he meets Farkas)

91. What is their sense of humor like?

Practically nonexistent, but when there is humor it’s mostly dry and sardonic.

92. What mood are they most often in?

That sort of focused work mode you get in when you’re really concentrating, as well as somewhat-sociable-but-still-kind-of-tired-and-grumpy

93. What kinds of things anger them?

People messing up his equipment. Oh sweet Auri-el, if you touch his things he will explode. Also, he hates the racism that the Thalmor promote. (He hates racism in general, but he hates the Thalmor’s views the most).

94. Outlook on life?

“It sucks, but I do find quite a bit fascinating and I’ll help where I can.”

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?

His perfectionism, how lonely he knows he is, and more.

96. What is their greatest weakness?

Again, his perfectionism, as well as having his work dictate more in his life than he should.

97. What is the greatest strength?

His brain. He remembers small details extremely well, and is practically an encyclopedia when it comes to alchemy.

98. Something that they regret?

How awful he used to be to everyone back home. He got a lot of pushback on his dreams and who he was, so he lashed out. Even though there wasn’t much he could do there, he still regrets hiring his family and wants to try at a relationship again with them (lol good luck).

99. Biggest accomplishment?

How is this different from “Greatest Achievement”?

100. Create your own! (Why is his alchemy so different from the norm?)

Because he’s trying to do something much more along the lines of modern medicine as opposed to just potions.

101. (Bonus!) Why is he in Skyrim?

Because it’s rather lacking in the medicine department compared to the other provinces, so he decided his talents would be best used there. Obviously, his family protested, but he went anyways.

#oc #laureli #skyrim

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lunarsodasims · 5 years ago

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Sims 4 Marvel Challenge!

This is a 10 generation challenge. If you have a specific expansion or game pack that would make the challenge more interesting, feel free to change it up a bit. It’s sort of a legacy challenge, but not quite. Naturally, because the Avengers aren’t related, this is going to be a little strange, but I tried to organize it chronologically for the most part.

Beware: there are some spoilers.

Generation 1: Steve Rogers “I could do this all day.”

The First Avenger. You’ve always been sickly and weak, so when you see someone being treated unfairly, you just can’t let it go. You might get hurt in the process of helping others, but that’s alright. You could do this all day.

To start, create teen Steve Rogers and his mother Sarah. Storytellers may start out with steve as a toddler or child. When Steve becomes a young adult, the challenge begins.

Must have good trait

Must have ambitious trait

Must meet and befriend Bucky Barnes

Mother must die when he becomes a YA

Enter the secret agent career and buff up

Reach level 10 of the secret agent career

Have a romantic relationship with one of your coworkers (and an unknown child)

Must fake your own death

Must outlive all coworkers

Alternate:

Strangerville--Steve must join Military career instead (defeat the mother if desired)

Parenthood--Steve must age up with every positive character value

Generation 2: Peter Quill “Dance off to save the Galaxy”

You were abducted by aliens when you were a child. Since then, you’ve been kept alive and raised by the aliens (and maybe, you’re happy), but you can’t help resenting them a little. You want to make a name for yourself. (You’re not trying to prove anything. Not at all). This story begins when Peter becomes a teenager.

Must live in one of the hidden worlds with adopted caregiver

Must only leave the realm at night until YA

Not allowed to see “other humans” (other sims besides caregiver) until YA

Must have a slightly poor relationship with caregiver

Max dance skill

Dj on the side as “Starlord”

Become an interstellar smuggler

Marry an ambitious Sim with something green (preferably skin, but may be hair or eyes)

Have a child

Alt:

Get to work--Caregiver and coworkers are all aliens, Peter mustn’t see any other humans until YA

Parenthood--Must age up with poor manners

Get Famous--Become famous for something good

Generation 3: Bruce Banner “Hulk...Hulk like real fire.”

You have a good life with loving parents (even if one of them happened to be an alien) but you care more about learning and inventing than spending time with family. This story begins when Bruce becomes a YA.

Must join the scientist (Astronaut if BG) career

Master the logic skill

Master rocket science skill (Handiness if BG)

Mid-life crisis: get fit and get “green” (skin, hair, (vegetarian? Off the grid?? Whatever you like:))

Must be hot-headed

Must have no children

Must travel to space during lifetime

Alt:

Get to Work--Live on Sixam for a week

Jungle Adventure--Vacation frequently

Generation 4: Thor “Because that’s what heroes do.”

You and your brother have always been opposites, but that’s never stopped you from getting along. But he’s been distant lately. You’re too busy to wonder why, taken in by thoughts of future glory. You’ll be head of the family business soon, and you can’t wait to be in charge. This story begins when Thor becomes a teenager.

Must have self-assured and good traits

Must be good friends with adopted younger brother and lose relationship over time

Must accidentally cause a disaster for the family (start a fire, etc.)

Be kicked out of the house to live in another world

Redeem yourself, but family falls apart due to dysfunction

Run the business

Generation 5: Natasha Romanoff “Just because it’s the path of least resistance, doesn’t mean it’s the right path.”

All you’ve known is hard work and hard truths. You’re willing to do whatever it takes to make things right, but you might have to give up more than just your reputation. This story begins when Natasha becomes a child.

Must be adopted

Age up with emotional control character value

Reach level 10 in Fitness, logic, programming, and charisma

Enter the secret agent career

Must have no children

Generation 6: Bucky Barnes “I’m with you ‘till the end of the line.”

You can’t remember anything, but that’s just fine. You’re content to live in apathy, with no real ties to anything except the ambition of climbing the criminal career ladder. However, when one mission puts all of that in jeopardy, you must choose between what you know and what you...know? This story begins when Bucky becomes an adult.

Must enter the criminal career

Must live in a household with two other sims (adult or elder)

Max fitness skill

May only leave the house when working or when both housemates are gone

Must meet Steve Rogers in the wild

Generation 7: T’Challa “It’s time to show the outside world who we are.”

Father must die when T’Challa becomes a YA

Must not travel out of world until reaching level 10 of career

Max charisma skill

Must enter business, law, secret agent, or police career

Household must volunteer frequently

Visit the ghost of your father (as a spellcaster, at a tombstone or urn, etc.)

Alt:

City Living: Become leader of the free world

Generation 8: Stephen Strange “Dormammu, I’ve come to bargain.”

Being rich and showing off is the greatest part of life as far as you’re concerned. You’ve never been happier than you are now, and you’re sure you never could be. You don’t need anyone but yourself. This story begins when Strange becomes a YA.

Must have Mansion Baron aspiration

Must have noncommittal trait

Max logic still

Reach level 10 of the doctor career

Lose job unexpectedly

Lose all money

Travel to a different world and become a spellcaster (or a different life-state)

Must have 1 child

Generation 9: Tony Stark “I am Iron Man.”

You love your parents but have a hard time showing it. You’re certain all that really matters is getting rich and having as much fun as possible. That is, until you’re all alone. Now what used to be good times have become distractions. This story begins when Tony becomes a teenager.

Must have fabulously wealthy aspiration

Must have Materialistic trait

Parents must die before Tony becomes a YA

Must have a near-death experience

Aspiration change to friend of the world

Change a trait to good

Marry and have 1 child

Must die while child is a toddler

Generation 10: Peter Parker “Everywhere I go, I see his face. I just really miss him.”

You’re smart, but that’s not enough to keep you from getting picked on. As things keep changing, you start to wonder if you’re the reason everyone you care about dies. You’ve never been less certain of yourself. This story begins when Peter becomes a teenager.

Parents must die while a child

Must be cared for by aunt

Must age into YA with three character values

Straight A student

Max programming and robotics

Have a rebellious phase and get in fights

Have gloomy trait

Fall in love before YA

Gloomy trait becomes self-assured

This is the current set of rules for the challenge. If you have an idea you’d like to see added, please let me know! Many of them are somewhat similar (since these kids all have a somewhat similar profession ;) so I would love to hear other suggestions.

I will also be updating the challenge with more alternates for storylines to swap out, such as Carol Danvers, Eddie Brock, and Sam Wilson, so stay tuned!

#marvel #sims 4 marvel challenge #10 gen sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 legacy #sims 4 challenge #ts4 #ts4 legacy #ts4 marvel

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theshedding · 5 years ago

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Don’t tell people not to laugh.

Friends, today is not a day to be shamed of your joy and hope. Wave your flag HIGH. Some people would have you to believe you should hide your glee, your excitement or your elation at finally seeing the caravan of retribution, cosmic justice and old-fashioned “reaping and sowing” reach the gates of its own demise. You should not. The universe is doing what it’s doing and, acknowledging that as the only “justice” we can be sure to have, or hope for, is well-earned and beyond our control. But just in case you still feel a bit self-conscious about the universe’s timing:

Remember the children -as young as babies- in distress, traumatized from parental separation, with ID numbers written on their arms as they’re shipped around the US quietly on night flights, lodging in Best Western hotels while this administration claimed they are “keeping families together”. Remember how their family members -pre pandemic- were packed in cages so tight no one could even lay down and SLEEP and how lawyers went to COURT on their behalf to advocate for them having access to basic hygiene products and influenza medications.

Remember the "shithole" Bahamians (a former Caribbean free-slave society with "Black Leadership") that were denied temporary refuge in the US after a monstrous hurricane stalled over their island homes for nearly 3 days-destroying their entire habitat, food/water supply & livelihood. Think of all the Republican politicians & White Americans who then joined in to support and affirm this un-neighborly treatment, who hide their tax-free profits in their banks and HAPPILY vacation there each year but proudly expect the service of Bahamian people during their pseudo-Caribbean "getaways”.

Remember the Puerto Ricans 🇵🇷 (& Vieques, Culebra, USVI 🇻🇮) who were told they were too "Lazy" to deserve adequate FEMA relief; relief that was sitting in cargo bins and supply ships stuck in port for weeks while surviving families, children & the elderly scoured around the island for water & food. Remember how the big ‘White Man’ and his posse flew in on a PR gambit to cover-up administrative incompetence. How they forced the hand of local government officials to “erase” lives by agreeing to concede lower death counts. How he threw paper towels at human beings in need of food and water from across a room, delighted with the televised spectacle of groveling survivors to cover-up an ill-prepared disaster response. How he required literal “thanks and praise” for benevolently distributing resources which they are entitledto by law, then flew back to the states, lied on those same leaders and then told the citizenry (overriding the NOAA) the same monstrous hurricane was "changing course" to Western Florida and Alabama because he knows better about meteorological science.

Remember the families of Paradise California-having lost all their life’s possessions, standing in the ashes of torched forests, had to acknowledge the welcome of a man who couldn’t bother to offer condolences let alone research the name of the very town he traveled to for a photo op. How he then minimized their devastation by recommending those agencies and families "rake leaves" like the Scandinavians do-to combat a Climate Change phenomenon he believes is a hoax.

Remember Heather Heyer, who lost her life, run over by a speeding driver in a crowd-on film, who's mother wasn't offered so much as a condolence card for the loss of her only daughter during a protest against Nazis HE STILL WONT CONDEMN, that descended on her hometown to spew epithets, obscenities while terrorizing ethnic, religious and sexual minorities with old-fashioned torches one fine Friday evening. Remember how it looked and sounded to witness the chilling resurrection of the chanting ghosts in our country’s violent, barbarous history be welcomed in equivocal affirmation by a head of state, staff and colleagues.

Remember Khzir Khan, his wife and fallen son who are to this day still mocked, denigrated and roundly dismissed for their immigrant history and military service-to this country's ideals and imperialistic motivations in their own places of birth -whilst simultaneously offering up White soldiers and their families who served in the same wars as the epitome of American valor, respectability, 'legitimacy' and political currency. And how he later condemned his own Defense leaders as being hungry for war to satisfy a “military industrial complex”.

Remember the vile ‘mysogynoir’ directed at Rep. Fredrica Wilson (FL) by his Chief of Staff, himself a gold-star military father, caught blatantly lying about material facts he used to denigrate her concerning the death of a Black soldier and his grieving widow. How he defended a callous condolence call and gaslight an entire press corp to bolster an unpatriotic narrative of a Black soldier that "He knew what he was getting into"...and never apologized for it.

Remember the Trans women and men serving in the Miltary who woke up one random morning to read on Twitter that their hard work and dedication was now a distraction and “threat to cohesion” because their identity had become "too expensive" to sustain. This after being assured their jobs and “LGBTQ rights” would be honored beyond 2016. Remember the grift of inter-agencies, the re-allocation of Defense funds towards a border wall “Mexico would pay for” and the $84 Million in subsidies for erectile dysfunction medications for male military officers (in contrast to “overspending” claims on Trans hormonal care). Remember this vulgar scapegoating to satisfy a group of mysogynistic theocrats and non-profit “interest groups” self-defined by Biblical “principles” and simultaneously bearing the most false of witness against these their neighbors.

Remember the show hearings with Dr. Ford, a victim of sexual abuse, white patriarchy and the most acute manifestations of rich, male, Christian privilege, who was not be afforded a thorough background investigation into her abusers and the veracity of her case; who was eventually mocked and discredited by grinning Senators eager to affirm a petulant, entitled drunk of a pious Juris Doctor, just so he could rule in favor of a “Muslim Ban” from a guy who pledged a “total Muslim ban” before being sworn-in to office. And the irony of discrediting Ford’s testimony on ‘insufficient’ evidence while being employed as a result of 10 years of election campaigns exploiting fears of coming “Sharia Law” they claim mistreats women places like Iran and Afghanistan.

Remember the nearly $110 million dollars for a 2017 Presidential inauguration still unaccounted for but nevertheless was somehow needed to hire acts like The Rocketts, the “US Border Patrol Pipes & Drums”, celebrity season winners on “America’s Got Talent” or the high-priced “1st Calvary Division Horse Calvary Detachment”. Remember how he got an inauguration: through outright lies, mockery, demonization of Latinos, the Disabled, the American Indigenous (remember “Pocahontas”?) and Blacks/African-Americans…before insisting the public believe an easily refuted lie about crowd and attendance.

Remember the dead that are still being killed overseas in various theaters of war: the dead Kurdish people (a.k.a. our “allies”); the dead soldiers for whose lives someone received a $100K bounty payment from Putin; the dead migrant adults and children who succumbed to abuse, infection and disease in holding cells (pre-Covid); the charred bodies trapped in their neighborhoods from fires raging in the West; the traumatized and/or dead protestors shot by sanctioned White vigilantes in cities “protecting businesses”; Black/Latino men and women shot by law enforcement or the 72 y/o Buffalo man with a permanent brain injury pushed to the ground by a “task force” of colleagues dutifully walking away as his blood spills on the sidewalk; the 205,000 DEAD of Covid-19, a purported “Democratic Hoax” that would miraculously disappear by Easter 2020, yet could be sufficiently treated with ultraviolet lights, “injections” of cleaning solution and for which -according to this man- “no one” has died even from (including your friend or your family member). He calls them “no one”.

Oh, and lest we forget-he is said to have only paid $750.00 in Federal taxes as a BILLIONAIRE…in the 10 years. Not to mention having allegedly RAPED or SEXUALLY ASSAULTED over 25 WOMEN.

As you tell me and everyone else not to “laugh”, dismiss or revel in this President’s current status, or that of his staff and family, REMEMBER THAT.

-R

#TrumpHasCovid Covid19 2020 TSMadison Retribution

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multimetaverse · 6 years ago

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Riverdale 4x05 Recap

If they’re making us suffer through another Archie vigilante story line then they might as well go all out and bring back the real estate deals plots

Why was that woman walking in alone in an alley in the bad part of town?

It’s nice of the writers to remind us that Kevin is gay. So looks like they’re gonna sweep Kevin betraying Betty to the Farm last season under the rug. Kevin gave up a night of bathroom cruising so they’re all good now

I’d feel sorry for Hermione except she actually is guilty of a bunch of crimes including murder!

I hope we see Moose again

The casting notice for Grandpa Jones said he was in hiding in the woods outside Riverdale because of a conflict related to the Baxter Brothers Franchise and we now know that’s a detective novel series

Pops is okay with forgery but not perjury

Why is Veronica so shocked that her father is evil? He’s also guilty of a ton of charges!

I did laugh at Hiram’s snarky ‘’I’ll be rooting for her’’

I’m beginning to think that this prosecutor lady doesn’t know what she’s doing...

They’re really reminding us that Kevin is gay this ep. He already had an inappropriate connection with cam boy Chic when they though he was the real Charles, so guess he wants to try his luck with the real deal

Oooh man Riverdale back at it with the junk science. There are no such things as serial killer or ‘’warrior’ genes. All humans have an innate capacity for violence and there are myriad genetic and environmental factors that shape a persons behaviour. Psychopaths do have a distinctive brain structure (largely related to the functioning of the pre-frontal cortex) but again it is a result of many different genes and while all serial killers are psychopaths not all psychopaths are serial killers. Indeed, numerous studies have shown that environmental factors such as a traumatic childhood are necessary in order to turn a psychopath into a serial killer

Looks like KP Apa just had a recent dye job, Archie’s hair is very red tonight

Did that guy just leave his shop and march a teenager down to the rec centre just to talk to Archie?

so Grandpa Jones was probably one of the ghost writers?

I love that their hospital set is clearly just the school

Why would one kid getting arrested lead to the shutdown of the community centre??

Animal cruelty is a huge red flag for future serial killers

I didn’t remember FP killing Tall Boy

Lmao why did FP say it like he was so shocked that Hermione’s name was on the lease

Is anyone gonna investigate Manetta’s murder?

If Hermione is being tried in Federal court than only the President could pardon her not the Governor

Betty killed her cat? That’s fucked up

I love how FP complains that they’ll make him wear a tie and blazer at Stonewall when he’s literally wearing a tie and Sheriff’s uniform

Looks like they’re sticking with Grandpa Jones being a violent drunk and they’re not gonna retcon it anymore

I do appreciate that they’re not glossing over the effects that abuse had on FP

Yeah the FBI loves holding meetings at the speakeasy run by a teen girl

I’d love to see that contract ‘’I Veronica Luna pledge not to blackmail you anymore’’

Murder is a fun game

Brett is such a dweeb

Hermione’s middle name is Apollonia like Michael Corleone’s first wife in Sicily, nice little mafia reference the writers slipped in there

Nice cost cutting measure having ‘Hal’’ not appear clearly

Is FP really comparing the kids at the centre with the Serpents who were an actual criminal gang??

Brett’s not mad, he’s laughing

Riverdale doing a decent job of paralleling Betty and Jughead’s struggles to avoid their families past

Hey Reggie is there, not a bad way to earn a pay cheque

Really kind of lame that Grandpa Jones is just out in a cabin in the woods, like at least abandon your family and move to Greendale or something

Most large law enforcement agencies screen out psychopaths through use of the PCL-R test so even if Charles had those genes, he’s not a psychopath and one can’t turn into a psychopath

The lesson kids is that blackmail works

Hermosa Lodge... well it’s a twist

Lmao another mayoral run plot!

Great disguise Betty!

How does Dodger not know that’s Archie?

Oh man these flash forwards are getting more ridiculous. Yeah yeah Jughead is really dead and Betty and Archie and Veronica really killed him

Oh nice Chic is back next week! And the Blossoms! And Hiram and Hermione are hooking up for some reason? Until next week folks

#Riverdale #Bughead #Jughead Jones #Betty Cooper #Charles Cooper #FP Jones #Kevin Keller #Archie Andrews #Veronica Lodge #Hiram Lodge #Hermione Lodge #Riverdale Recaps

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cecilspeaks · 6 years ago

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155 - The Heist, part 3

Leave no stone unturned. Leave no rock unpivoted. Leave no pebble untwirled. Welcome to Night Vale.

My brother-in-law, Steve Carlsberg, is still in jail, wrongly accused of the recent bank heist. But I am happy to have my husband Carlos back home. The Sheriff’s Secret Police had only taken him in for some questions regarding the robbery of the Last Bank of Night Vale. Sheriff Sam had deemed Carlos a person of interest, which I’ve been saying for years, but Sheriff Sam meant it differently.

Carlos said while he was being questioned at the police station, he saw the other bank employees who were there the day of the robbery. Genevieve Daly, the new bank teller, was being asked if she saw anyone other than Steve Carlsberg near the vault that day. Carlos said she was stone faced, unhappy with the interrogation. Susan Willman was there, crying, as the police asked her who else, other than Steve Carlsberg, could have a key. And security guard Jesse McNeil was there looking quite ill, almost seasick, according to Carlos, as the police tried to badger him into implicating Steve Carlsberg.

Carlos has been home for a couple of weeks and in a terrible funk. He said Steve has a nearly impossible case. The police are convinced of Steve’s guilt and all their evidence points directly to him. Carlos hardly has any energy or emotion to work, or even leave the house. I feel awful for Steve too, and we are doing our best to support him and our family.

I tried cheering Carlos up by telling him my favorite science jokes, like two chemists walk into a bar and one tells the bartender, “I’ll have an H2O” and the other says “I’ll have an H20 too,” and the bartender says and sighs.. [fed up] “It’s been a long day guys,” and then the two chemists nod and say, [embarrassed] “Yeah oh god yeah sorry, just a couple of waters thanks.” And then later they make sure to tip very well. But Carlos didn’t even crack as mile, let alone laugh, and I asked him how his doorless fridge experiment was going and he’s welcome to work on it here, in his home laboratory. I don’t even mind if he keeps staining everything green with that weird gel he’s been using. “I ran out of gel, Cecil,” he said, prone on the couch not opening his eyes. “I couldn’t work on that, even if I wanted to. which I don’t.” Hm. I wanna curl up on the couch too, stay home from work. But I know that would be terrible for Carlos. There are many times I’ve felt flat or depressed, and Carlos has been there for me, keeping me company, taking in my sadness and reflecting back not a false smile but attentive eyes, a listening posture that makes me feel heard and understood, and that’s what I want to be for him. Besides, I think Steve can beat these charges. Steve may have been the only one with a key to the vault, but they cannot prove he opened the vault, as he was locked inside his own office during the robbery. And besides, Steve keeps very detailed accounting so they wouldn’t be able to find the stolen money, not even if he had taken it. Steve Carlsberg is… [moved] the nicest man in Night Vale. He’s a good boss, breaking his foot to get free to try to protect his employees. He’s a fine father. A loving husband. And a perfect brother-in-law. It’s just not... it’s not possible. You know, if someone on the inside did this, it was probably Susan. Susan Willman is the least trustworthy person in that bank, if not in this whole town. So if you’re going to…

[loud scary noises] Station Management just slit a memo under my door gently, reminding me about libel laws. The memo is written in fire on a sleep tablet, and there’s a snake curled around it so, uhh.. I’m going to leave my Susan WIllman theory alone. But. Let’s just say that there was an untrustworthy person in that bank, and that her name was Su..anne Wilt..son. Yes, Sue-Anne Wilson, yes and this hypothetical jerk was always complaining at PTA meetings about her own personal problems, rather than focusing on the agenda, let’s just say. And this Sue-Anne Wilson once accused Steve Carlsberg of censoring her, when Steve was just trying to finish the meeting in a timely manner so that the basketball team could se the gym for evening practice. This person might well hold a grudge against Steve Carlsberg and want to not only steal from him, but frame him for the crime.

Or, what if the Sheriff’s Secret Police… [loud scary noises] was doing a really great job, so great that they didn’t have a lot of arrests to make because the town was so safe. And of course, [chuckling nervously] they would never need to frame someone for robbery! So they would look like they were solving one of the major crimes in recent memory. Or maybe it was space slugs. Some distant aliens from across the galaxy somehow found our solar system and spotted our Earth, and then randomly chose Night Vale, and for whatever reason, they really wanted our money, so they went down inside the bank vault while the building was on fire, and without the safe key they entered the locked room because these space slugs can crawl through walls, and then they stole all the money. I don’t know! I feel helpless.[loud scary noises fade out]

Reading the news and getting angrier and angrier, but you know there’s little I can do about terrible things that keep happening. I’m sure you can’t relate. Maybe a community calendar will cheer me up.

This Saturday, the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex opens its annual Haunted Halloween Hayride. There was complications this year, because Ghost Union Local 31 went on strike for an increase in pensions and maternity leave. Teddy Williams, owner of the Desert Flower, argued that ghosts cannot retire nor get pregnant, but the union countered with vaguely human faces muttering in the shadows while Teddy screamed, and eventually, a deal was truck.

Sunday morning is the pie eating contest at the Night Vale fair. Contestants will be competing for a top prize of a 1991 Buick Le Sabre, autographed by former US presidential hopeful and Illinois governor, Adelai Stevenson.

Tuesday afternoon is a tedious song. Wednesday night is the high school dance team’s statewide semifinals at the rec center. Our own Night Vale High School is competing that night. Their top rival is Red Mesa High School, who will be performing a jazz routine called Tommy Tunes Broadway: an upbeat medley of classic show tunes. Night Vale’s dance team will present (--) [0:09:21] postmodern masterpiece (-): contemplative blend of sculpture opera and dance defined by its explosive physical bursts, chanting, and (contra-) movements born of a 22-member ensemble, who express the human body as a multidimensional art installation. Good luck to all dancers!

And finally, Thursday is sick, so Friday will be covering Thursday’s shift. Eh, except for the part about the haunted hay ride. That did not cheer me up.

I’m getting word that the Secret Police have made a breakthrough in their bank heist investigation. Or maybe they found the real thief and can let Steve Carlsberg go? [clears throat] Sheriff Sam said the lab reports came back, the fingerprints were inconclusive as their top suspect Steve Carlsberg worked at the bank, so his fingerprints were everywhere. But the lab reports did detail a strange goo police found on the vault walls. This goo, a light green gel, was also found on the walls of the cells that the other robbers had escaped from two weeks ago. So maybe my theory about space slugs is correct. No wait. The lab reports showed that this unusual chemical can render certain metals intangible, allowing people to reach through walls without breaking them. [stutters] Police believe whoever used this greenish goo used it to rob the bank’s vault and to free the prisoners inside the abandoned mineshaft outside of town. The Sheriff then said they discovered this exact same chemical on Steve Carlsberg’s property. They discovered it inside the shed behind the house, and that this is the final piece of evidence that links Steve Carlsberg to the robbery of the Last Bank of Night Vale. They believe that, oh no… Um, that Steve did not act alone, that he had an accomplice, a scientific mastermind who created this chemical for him. Who generated a complex concoction that enabled them to walk through walls stealing whatever they wanted. They have a warrant out now for Carlos’ arrest. I’ve gotta call Carlos. I- Oh, it looks like he left a voicemail.

[beep] Carlos: Hey sweetie, it’s um me. So listen, I have um, I so-so I’ve just been arrested. No biggie, no biggie, I’m fine. This is actually good news, because I wanted to talk to the Sheriff anyway about all this, so that-that’s great. And um, I do have some new thoughts about what happened at the bank, and they’re really interesting, so they’re driving me downtown to meet with uh ooh, ouch, those cuffs are a bit tight there, officer… officer (Q. Fortier). Ah, that is a beautiful name. I-i-is that Franchian? If you don’t mind, Officer Fortier, I’m going to just finish my voicemail to my husband. So Cecil. When I get downtown, I’ll explain everything to them, Steve and I clearly did not do this and that’s what I’ll tell them, they’re police! [chuckles] You know, they just wanna know the truth, and uh ooh uh, oh Officer Fortier, I am not done with my call yet. Uh sir, what-what are you doing with my pho- [beep]

Cecil: I… I… Let’s go to the weather.

[Good Luck with That” by Fathom All the Animals https://fathomalltheanimals.com]

Cecil: Listeners, we now go live to Steve Carlsberg’s press conference at City Hall.

Steve: This has been a difficult month for me, and for my family. I thank you all for hearing me out today. I’m glad to know that these criminal charges are behind me, and I think Sheriff Sam and their secret police, as well as their Overt Police, for listening to reason and overturning the charges against me. [sadly] But of course, I’m sad to learn about their most recent arrest. Breaks my heart to know that such a dear friend of so many years, someone who’s been in home many, many times, someone I consider family, could betray me, my bank, my town in this way. I don’t even know how to talk about such a breach of trust by someone so close. [crying] Carlos! Oh Carlos. Thank you Carlos, for your brilliant and thorough evidence that put Jesse McNeil in jail today. Our security guard of nearly 50 years committed a heinous crime, and he nearly sent the two of us to prison for it.

When Carlos arrived in my cell this morning, he was all smile saying he had figured it out. He called the Sheriff over and said, “Check Jesse’s skin for the same chemical they found on the doors.” Carlos had been experimenting on the gel that allowed him to reach his hands into refrigerators without opening the door, and thus lowering the temperature of the food inside. He’d developed this chemical. He’d developed this chemical in his temporary lab in a shed behind our house. The problem with the chemical wasn’t its effectiveness and intangibility. He had been able to make that work. No, the problem with the chemical is that it stained everything it touched a dull green, including skin. Carlos showed me his own hands, which were green from the fingertips to about halfway up his forearms. He said the last few times he had seen Jesse, Jesse looked ill. Not like a flu or cold, more like seasick: queasy, green in the face. Carlos didn’t put it together right away, because we all felt sick about not only the robbery, but the false charges against me.

The police report also showed that none of the cash tills on the teller wall were affected by the fire that broke out during the robbery last month. Which means the fire had to have started on the opposite wall, which is by the front door, Jesse’s usual station. The smoke from the fire and the three robbers waving guns provided a distraction for Jesse to cover himself with Carlos’ intangibility gel, sneak downstairs past my office, where he had locked me in earlier than day, and then unload the cash from the safe and carry it into the alleyway behind the bank where his car was parked. When the fire trucks arrived, Jesse ran deliberately in front of their hoses so that the gel would all be removed from his body before the police began questioning those of us who had been inside during the robbery. But, as Carlos pointed out, the gel stains the skin for a long time, water alone won’t remove it.

Sheriff Sam brought Jesse back in for questioning based on Carlos’ statements, and found Jesse’s skin was the same dull green as Carlos’ hands. But unlike Carlos, the green stain covered Jesse’s whole body, not only his hands, indicating he had used it to walk through walls, rather than merely reach to a door.

Carlos explained that he had Jesse in his lab many times, Jesse and all my employees come to my house regularly for dinners. Like I said, they’re family to me. Jesse had taken an interest in Carlos’ science projects, so Carlos showed Jesse his doorless fridge experiment. Not long after that, Carlos noticed that the rest of his intangibility gel was gone. He thought he had just run out, even though he had made plenty of it. Never occurred to Carlos, until he saw Jesse’s green face a few days ago, that Jesse had stolen it to remove the money from the vault and his criminal colleagues from their jail cell. While I was the only person with the key to the vault, Jesse as a security guard was the only person with master keys for the rest of the building. My office door is never locked, so I don’t carry a key for it. Jesse knew this and locked me into my own office. Then his three collaborators Richard, William, and Emma created a fake robbery of the cash tills to distract from his heist of the vault. Sheriff Sam was impressed with Carlos’ explanation and arrested Jesse McNeil on the spot. Jesse turned to Carlos and Sam and said: [very deep voice] “I guess I’m going to jail now.” Sam said: [Sheriff Sam voice] “Don’t flatter yourself!”

Anyway, I finally get to return home, thanks to my brother-in-law Carlos. Thank you Susan Willman for managing the bank in my absence. Abby, Janice, I’ll be home in a few. Can’t wait to see you both again. Oh, oh, maybe I’ll bake some scones tonight! Carlos showed me a way to do it without letting the butter too warm. Oh-oh yeah!

Cecil: I’m so relieved and so glad they put the right person behind bars. And I have never been so excited to try one of Steve’s scones. That really is neat.

Stay tuned next for someone playing on a saw. No, ahem, (-) that, with a saw. It’s just someone playing around with a saw. Enjoy.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: Wisdom ages like fine wine. Knowledge ages like Boston lettuce.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv #wtnv transcripts #episode 155 #the heist #the heist part 3

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gothamdetected-a · 6 years ago

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an idiot’s guide to ra’s al ghul.

ok so at this point im really gna say fuck dc canon, and go completely off piste and write my own.

dc really don't know how to write this man a backstory and he literally has one of the least developed and simultaneously confusing origins of any batman rogue. so here, lemme fix that.

ra's al ghul is a moniker, a title that is passed down. anyone who leads the league of assassins/shadows, becomes ra's al ghul (roughly translated to the demon's head). this explains how a White Man, henri ducard was able to become ra's al ghul in batman begins. at the passing of the head of the league, the next in line, by order of physical and mental prowess, becomes the next ra's. bruce himself is, at one point, supposed to pick up the mantle - the current ra's considers him his only worthy successor (a la arkham city & some of the comics from the 80s/90s), the man who will replace him and exceed him. however bruce, due to his unwavering morals and refusal to kill in order to bring "justice" ends up spurning the league, and is disowned by ra's in a very effective way - he tries to kill bruce. ra's still holds some sort of belief that bruce will return to him, despite all of this. he uses talia and then damian as a pawn in this game, to draw bruce back to the league and have him become the next demon's head.

so who is "ra's", or at least the goateed, green pant suited, scimitar wielding ninja who is most commonly seen as THE "ra's"? well, dc couldn't really make up their minds, so i'll do my best to patch it together from the 8 different versions, and compile something that agrees with most of it.

ra's was born approximately 600 years ago, to a man known as the Sensei (an asian martial artist) and an unknown mother of arabic descent, somewhere in the middle east. little is known about his early years, other than he was obsessed with the sciences, and became a physician with a wife named Sora. he made many discoveries ahead of time - understanding microscopic pathogens, how to cure diseases such as cholera and typhoid, although his greatest discovery was the Lazarus Pits - a natural phenomenon containing a mysterious green liquid with immense restorative properties. ( this is not to be confused with the fountain of youth at shangri-la, which his father, the Sensei, used). ra's uses the pit on the son of a local sultan who is dying, but when the boy returns, he is not all there. the empathy is gone, and he gets pretty funky about killing people, including ra's wife, sora. it is important to note, at this point, ra's is not called ra's, but dc have never given him a name so idek what to call him. so we don't know his real name, age, or what his chilhood was like. lets keep it that way, we stan an air of mystery.

the death of his wife and the overpowering grief leads to a fixation with revenge - ra's trains furiously to master martial arts and eventually kills the sultan, his son and razes their city to the ground. at this point he becomes "the demon's head" and founds the league, with the aim of eradicating evil from the world, mostly through assassination and genocide. which, you know. isn't great. this is also the period in which ra's begins to use the lazarus pit on himself, in order to prolong his life. he seeks more pits throughout the world, travelling extensively, and finds three more: one in switzerland, one in what will later become gotham, and one on infinity island, making a grand total of four. dc can go fuck themselves there is literally only four, you can't just keep making more when it's convenient. ra's intends to only use the pits until a worthy successor can be found for the league, but two problems occur; one) he starts going a bit nuts from over using the pits, and it does become like an addiction and two) he never finds someone he considers worthy.

so, skip through a bunch of wars he fought in, the league becoming globally established, and the industrial revolution. ra's doesn't like that. bad machines, destroying the earth, coating the skies with pollution and leading to greater inequality. so ra's decides it's time to purge humanity, and leave only the people he deems worthy behind, in a fresh clean world (in a real james bond villain move.). he builds wonder city, beneath gotham and around the gotham lazarus pit, but the city is never used because ra's does something mad stupid and falls in love. so much for eco terrorism, he's now off having babies with a woman named melisande. or one particular baby - talia. due to ra's having been using the pits for centuries before boning this poor woman, talia comes out with slowed aging abilities. ra's eventually murders melisande when she gets antsy about him training their kid to be a master assassin. he does a very similar thing with a russian lady to produce talia's half sister, nyssa. so by now the 20th century is in full swing, ra's has a cute lil murder family and the league has become a smaller part of a huge underground organisation called The Demon, at which ra's sits at the head. he still hasn't found a successor though, and he's getting Old. the lazarus pits are no longer bringing him back 100% - he loses more and more of his sanity with each ressurection. and then. wow. bruce wayne appears. and ra's sees a huge amount of himself in this kid, the loss, the anger. boom, we got ourself a successor.

we all know how that wound up.

so ra's is now Personally Mad at batman, and we get the Contagion storyline. back to his old, eco-terrorism ways, ra's unleashes the clench, a really nasty virus that's definitely worse than your average cold. batman eventually finds and disperses a cure, but gotham is Mad Fucked. damian wayne is born, trained by his mama and gramps, and then abandoned at 10 on bruce's doorstep. there's a brief interlude where bane also goes to train under ra's in the hopes of being the worthy successor and marrying talia instead, but then everyone realises he's one sandwich short of a picnic and ra's kicks him out in his ass once batman beats him in another fight. there's also some funky moments where ra's

• tries to resurrect thomas and martha wayne. it goes about as well as you'd expect.

• pisses off both of his daughters who start to work against him. talia half teams up with supes. wild.

• lets his guard down and most of the lazarus pits are destroyed, leaving only the one beneath gotham.

• tries to body swap with his grandson (i literally hate dc)

• watches batman accidentally kill his old dad the Sensei, by dragging him into a lazarus pit which destroys the nasty man's corrupted soul and heals bruce tf up which is how dc get away with him looking permenantly 30

• has another, estranged child, who becomes the White Ghost

• helps tim find bruce after he "died" but then becomes a lil bitch over it and tries to do a ninja take over of gotham and destroy anything about wayne. he fist fights tim, and dick, and then lo and behold it was all a test or some shit, which is the dc version of "he woke up and it was all a dream".

• makes superhumans in whale wombs which honestly, when i read the issues, i wanted to Die. literally straight up end me.

there's a bunch more stuff but im not a masochist enough to keep going. the point is, he's an old naughty man, kind of bruce's father in law, definitely insane, and dc will probably drag this mans back at some point. but i like to go with the arkham knight ending, where bruce chooses to cut a half-resurrected ra's off from the last of the lazarus pit, and drops his dying body off at the gcpd to an indeterminate fate, while nyssa becomes the new demon's head. its a good ending. makes sense. works well with everything. gives him a solid out. but honestly they won't leave him alone and he'll be back soon i'm sure, being pesky and owning really freaking cool swords.

so yeah, that's a rough and ready guide to ra's al ghul, because dc really can't manage this themselves and i'm made to pick up the slack.

#nyall should let me know if theres anyone else you want me to do this for #just kind of compile and simplify some of the most confusing characters because honestly #i have so much fun doing stuff like this #and just geeking tf out and using the full breadth of my dc knowledge #which is still nothing compared to the entirety of canon but still #uwu love me please #\system\directory\hidden.txt ›› META #long post /

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americanroyalwatcher · 6 years ago

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Why we love Kate, not Meghan

I’ve been seeing the “If you love her (Catherine) you don’t need to hate her (Meghan)” meme going around on IG. I had to clear things up for myself and anybody this resonates once and for all. Let me first start off by saying my feelings for Meghan Markle are not of hate. I find her and Catherine beautiful in their own respective ways. I only abhor Meghan’s behavior, actions, total disrespect for the Royal Family hierarchy, trying to curry favor with the public through her PR attempts, and blatant sense of entitlement.

We are only typing words online making it difficult to decipher a tone of voice. Since there is none to be heard or facial expressions detected, you can take it much more worse, dramatic, and catty than it really is. I try to write as clearly as I can to convey my meanings as fast I can churn it out for everyone to read. I do it so my opinions are not misunderstood to be of jealousy, hating, bullying, or racism. I feel I have to restate this as I’ve gained many new followers and likely new spies or just plain curious folks. It would be truly wonderful to meet everyone I interact with online, follower, spy, or passersby. That human interaction is missing from this very anti-social media platform.

So, let me say I am none of those four things above. In fact, I was quite enthusiastic initially with Meghan Markle’s debut into the royal scene. She of course is a far cry from the typical posh British blondes Harry dated. It was refreshing and new. She was a Californian, ethnic, and American just like me, who came from a disjointed family. She was a breath of fresh air as a new addition, but that quickly turned into mush when that engagement interview revealed her domineering, controlling, and insincere personality with the camera. I took her saying she didn’t know THAT MUCH about Price Harry, not that she didn’t know him or the royal family. This is often restated incorrectly. Her statement during the interview came off as if Prince Harry’s royal-ness wasn’t a big deal to her. That they’re equally on the same plane and their names hold the same weight as far as that statement went. That initial interview showed her ego on display and the Vanity Fair magazine she interviewed for as a tell all after it was revealed she was Harry’s girlfriend. Shortly before that, in November 2016, she had Harry write a foolish statement asking the public to leave her alone after she made a false report of someone breaking into her Toronto home. Then she goes on to do that Vanity Fair magazine. The hypocrisy. Harry could never turn back after that. It was more binding than a wedding if you ask me.

Even her ex-best friend Ninaka Priddy told DailyMail, “I know the Royal Family was something she found fascinating. She had one of Princess Diana’s books [Diana: Her True Story] on her bookshelf, and even when she was with Trevor she told me she wanted to go and stay in London for at least a month. I can’t remember exactly when this was, but she was married to Trevor and starring in Suits. She mentioned about wanting to go to London a couple of times. I wasn’t shocked or even surprised to hear about Prince Harry. I know she used to love The Princess Diaries — films about a commoner who becomes part of a Royal Family. She was very taken with that idea.”

Meghan would relish the thought of living a real life Princess Diaries scenario. Everyone in her family circle knew she was infatuated with the idea of being a modern day princess with power. She admired Princess She-Ra. In her defunct Tig blog she wrote, “I, for one, was all about She-Ra, Princess of Power. And grown women seem to retain this childhood fantasy. Just look at the pomp and circumstance surrounding the royal wedding and endless conversation about Princess Kate.”

That was a huge red flag to me. Her best friend knew her since she was 11 and they were inseparable like sisters, like family. So, I take her words seriously as to who Meghan really was. She stopped talking to her after three seasons of Suits. Fame got to her head. She left her then husband Trevor, who helped her get on the show. She was out for a more “empowering” position in life. She used who and what she could to get where she is today. She downplayed her knowledge and awareness of the royal family big time and it really came back to bite her.

Meghan had her sights set on expanding her name and fame somehow someway since Suits was wrapping up with her supporting role being axed soon. Unhappily, her marriage to Trevor Engelson ended abruptly by her (mailing her rings back my mail), after almost 10 years of supposed true happiness finding The One. According to her ex-best friend she knew since she was 11 years old. She left him for Corey Vitiello, a highly celebrated chef in Toronto after her career took off some with Suits. Corey was also cooking for Prince Harry when Meghan first met the royal. He runs a chicken restaurant chain called Flock. Roast chicken, anyone? Yes, Meghan has commented time and time again her specialty is roast chicken. She picked up this talent likely from living in common law marriage with Corey in Toronto. That’s also what she was cooking when Prince Harry proposed? Gosh, what a coincidence. The Sun said, “The pair split in May 2016 - with the Telegraph reporting that Meghan was still with Cory when she first met Harry. The prince was in Canada to promote the Invictus games in May 2016. The chef refused to comment on the rumours that the Prince was part of the reason their relationship ended.” Hmmm, also a suspicious coincidence.

I don’t knock her for watching out for herself and trying to put her name out there. It’s a dog-eat-dog world in the acting industry. She was only successful in Toronto with Suits. Hollywood was the ultimate goal and dream. Her father Thomas Markle was a successful Emmy winning lighting director for Married with Children. She basically grew up on set and likely salivated at the fame and attention she would get being one. As a narcissist, this would feed her ego majorly. She was never going to be more famous than an extra in those random comedies or low-budget made for TV movies. She was pushing nearly 40. That’s the career death age of actresses in North America, maybe everywhere. She wasn’t a Meryl Streep or Viola Davis. She had to think fast. She did. Man, did she hit the jackpot with Harry. Apparently, their relationship wasn’t even revealed to Harry’s family until 6 months into it. All that time, Thomas Markle kept his mouth shut about it. He was loyal to his favorite daughter and paid for her expensive upscale schooling her entire life, even some in college. She ghosted him for making a foolish mistake with the media when he didn’t recieve an invite to the wedding. This time period was key to her sinking her claws in to Prince Harry’s vulnerability, weaknesses, broken and damaged self. She does want to be another Diana, but all she is now is a mother-wife to Harry. As her ghosted former best friend said, she is very calculated.

Using others as a stepping stone or tool to get where you want is extremely cold-hearted, but that was her MO. There is a reason a trail of ghosted, dejected lovers, family and friends have come out of the woodwork since Harry said his family was the one she never had. HAH. Cry me a river. Samantha only came out when that was openly said. What a stupid, hurtful, foolish statement Harry. This was during the Christmas Service at Sandringham she attended when they were only engaged. That’s unheard of. Even Catherine Middleton, wife of the heir didn’t even get invited to any outings until they were officially married. I commend Prince William for his caution as he had much more to lose than Harry with his choice of a wife.

Prince William was extremely worried about the tabloids and press doing what they did to his beloved mother to Kate. They chased Kate around and staked out their cameras at her flat. They followed her to work. They shoved cameras in her face getting in and out of cars. She was very chill about it. Alarmed, but civil. It was chaos. She was a BIG DEAL. She was marrying the heir to the British monarchy. Prince William was a dreamboat. Many of us were very fascinated by who his choice was. When they married, there were years and years of ridicule with comments about her “Waity Katey” nickname. He made sure she has as much time living a normal private life before becoming a royal. She needed to withstand the public scrutiny as his on and off again girlfriend first. It wasn’t a matter of him getting coldfeet. He was protecting her. They were college friends first then fell in love over the course of 6 years or so. They had a solid foundation.

She even had a few incidents where her skirt flew up too high revealing too much as well as her chest. It’s all trivial superficial things, I know, but it matters as a royal. We do the same with Meghan. It’s the optics that need to be taken into consideration. I’m fine with critiquing dress style, as there’s a certain decorum needed in a royal family. She, Kate, needed to dress more prudently to avoid mishaps. There were several in her first few years. She has improved beautifully and has her style down to science. Kate had many of the criticisms Meghan shares as far as entering in the royal family goes being a commoner having to do with dress code and keeping her mannerisms appropriate at events. There are many comments on old articles saying how Kate was smiling way too much at this same event years ago. How her hair was too long. She needed to stop twirling it and have some respect for her role and the dignity of the event. It was the Remembrance Day Sunday event at Whitehall in 2013. The two years before that, she garnered the same scathing reactions from the public.

Kate has really come into her own despite the awful criticisms and judgement on her class. She has bore the years and years of cruel digs to her with great decorum and stride. She has NEVER COMPLAINED. She has come in to her own identity as a mother, wife, future queen consort, charity patron, and most importantly a genuine person with the public. I quote The Sun highlighting past labels calling her a "work-shy social climber, the lucky girl whose sole job in life was to sit around looking pretty until William proposed." That's all turned into something solid and magical.

She has an ease with others that makes them comfortable in her presence you don't expect from such a senior royal. She has bloomed. We love her for that and how she lets Prince William shine by supporting his role as heir through their duties and appearances together. She also shines equally if not more than Prince William. Her children are absolutely gorgeous and a delight. We have all come to adore her because she has earned it. Yes, with the public you have to earn our love.

With Meghan, it seemed as if they were marrying then having a baby at warp speed before Harry decided to change his mind without knowing her family and past. They weren’t allowing the public to let us see Meghan in a positive gradual light, but a social climbing one with all her past history written online for all to see; also through the testimony of friends, families, her attention-seeking Instagram posts, colleagues etc. She hadn’t proved herself worthy yet to the public like Kate. It was hitting the ground running to be her own brand and name through Harry’s family.

On a superficial level, Kate and Meghan are not fashionistas or supermodels. But they are always photographed with what brands they’re wearing for all to see. That’s the fun part of watching all royal women, their outfits and accessories. But with Meghan it goes PAST and BEYOND outfits and style. It’s an entire plethora of reasons. She’s a whole different “beast” as she likened her unfair treatment in that Africa interview. All that have nothing to do with her ethnicity. The criticisms we non-Markle fans share with her are as followed:

• ghosting those friends and family members she used to put a notch on her belt

• using Princess Diana’s name to beautify her tainted image

• using Harry and his weaknesses to crawl her way into the royal family

• portraying such an affected manner in which she speaks, interactions with others, and overall pretending to be royal instead of being herself

• wearing inappropriate revealing attire to events, not adhering to dress code

• being rude and demanding to royal staff and even film and restaurant workers before marrying Harry

• constantly stepping in front of Harry as if he was the non-royal at events, inserting herself in conversations and trying to be the center of attention, a know-it-all

• making herself out to be a self made millionaire when she was more like a thousand-aire after Suits owning no real estate, cars or possessions to note beside an expensive heel collection

• taking credit for things that she did not do entirely on her own but passing it off that she did

• upsetting Duchess of Cambridge who she should have allied with for assimilation

• planting her PR stories to try and break up the image and marriage that the Cambridges have naturally built

• constantly trying to one-up the Cambridges while they go about their duties, her seething envy is quite evident by trying to take the light away from their causes

• inconsistent stories of how she and Harry met, supposedly it's Misha Nonoo, but who knows

• implying she was pregnant, all but announcing it with that navy blue coat halfway open at Princess Eugenie's wedding

• overly flicking her coat open constantly and prancing around with her hand on her ever changing bump (whether real or not we will never know)

• embellishing her character by feeding us accolades of herself every chance she gets, especially on Sussex Royal

• rarely ever using the titles of more important senior royals, but overusing her HRH on herself

• having famous Hollywood friends constantly speak for her and how amazing she is, many whom she had NEVER met prior to marrying Harry, but invited to the wedding anyway; leaving out her own family members (especially her loving father who made a foolish mistake) on both sides who did nothing to warrant such cold-heartedness

• preaching about carbon footprints, only having two children, and saving the environment all the while jetting around in private jets around the world sparing no expense

• portraying this image of a humanitarian when she herself is seen constantly in astronomically priced bespoke, couture, and designer clothes and accessories that taxpayers find (well over a million now dollars as the 6th in line’s wide); paid or not by designers to advertise for them

According to The Star, “It’s a figure so staggering it’s worth revisiting. According to estimates — based on totalling up the approximated or stated retail values of everything she’s been seen wearing since November 2017 — the number is hovering around the $1.5 million mark. On her and Harry’s official visit to Ireland this spring, for instance, Markle wore over $52,000 worth of fashion in just two days.”

They also stated “The majority of Markle’s expenditure this year went toward her two wedding dresses: That Givenchy ceremony dress is thought to have cost around $330,000 and her Stella McCartney dress (or the capsule collection’s 46 replicas released after the wedding, at least) sold for $5,800. That’s a bargain compared to the $93,000 she spent on the Ralph & Russo frock she wore for some of her engagement shoot. Add in a $6,500 Oscar de la Renta dress to a wedding here, a $5,000 bespoke Carolina Herrera frock to a Trooping the Colour there, and well, you get to that million mark pretty quickly.”

• then there’s the vacant Forgmore Cottage that wasted taxpayers money if $3 million to renovate; apparently they don’t even live there as she’s in SoHo accommodations and he in his Nottingham Cottage

• playing media games with the facts and dates surrounding the birth of Archie and never allowing him to be photographed until it was on African soil for a docu-drama

• pleading for privacy over and over then showing up unannounced at events uninvited,

• filming a tone-deaf tactless documentary in Africa, revealing how she felt she's didn't have a fair shake in the royal family, the absolute nerve of she and Harry

• suing the press for racism and hate stories when she herself courts the press daily (she did pap walks in London right before it was announced she was Harry's girlfriend), when she has herself and Harry to thank for all the negative press as there's not one story pointing out criticism of her ethnic background

• lastly, there are the extreme fans called the “sugars” who go around defending MM every chance they get in a rageful manner like packs of rabid dogs if we comment on how we don’t like her style of dress or try to reason with a differing opinion to theirs on a certain news story

Have I missed anything? Likely so. I’m still new to this whole Markle debacle so excuse my errors and typos. The soap opera does go on and there are so many details and shady ways Meghan has portrayed herself past and present. From what I’ve seen, heard, and read from her own mouth and those who knew her well, “she’s a witch” as Candace Owens put it bluntly. I truly wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to her when she kept shooting herself in the foot.

She is NOT where Kate was when she married Prince William either. Kate was 29, unmarried and very close to her family with no previous marriages. Today, her family appear to be her rock solid support outside of Prince William. She assimilated well with the other royals who she now calls family. She listened to counsel, respected the centuries of tradition the monarchy had always followed. She won our hearts. Through and through, she can credit her great inner strength she possessed to overcome the constant ridicule to become the well loved future queen consort of Britain. That is no easy feat.

Meghan was 37 and many times divorced (one annulled with Joe Giuliano, an attorney she married after college), so maybe three if you count the common law marriage with Cory in Canada. Trevor was her first official one. So Harry may be her 4th! She had lived many lives before with connections to SoHo, being a yacht girl, then there are her ties to the wretches Jeffery Epstein, Hillary Clinton, Weinstein and their global agenda machine I would have to write a dissertation on to explain.

She appeared to have used her first official husband Trevor, a successful producer in his own right (she got a cameo in his film Remember Me with Robert Pattinson) to get her role on Suits as he’s done excellent for himself in the film industry as a producer. Meghan was somewhat popular in Toronto from the supporting role. She was being phased out soon after her relationship with Corey started as well. She needed a plan, along came Prince Harry one fine clucking night. Then, she set her sights on getting setup with him by Markus Anderson or Misha Nonoo; who knows with all these conflicting stories.

I said good for her at the start. At first it was incredible to see an ordinary girl from LA had married into such a high profile family, to a real titled Prince, no less! It was inspiring and fun to fantasize. Nevertheless, Meghan’s actions listed above, the various first-hand testimonies of people who were family and friends pre-Harry, her hellbent PR attempts to heighten her name, her lack of honesty, her contrived behavior pretending to be a coy ingenue, the scary desire to be Princess Diana by hunting Harry like a sport, and all the stories coming out about how she was searching for a famous British man to elevate her profile, and likely so much more to come, are why we are here with these accounts today.

Hate is such a blanket word overused nowadays in the media. But she has earned that word all on her own. We’re here to disprove and retort the stories churned out daily by her team Sunshine Sachs that continue to deceive the public. Everything is out there to see. Her character is out there to decipher online. You just have to stop reading the fluff and self-promotion and find her true nature pre-Harry to see her scheming social climbing insincere self-serving ways. So, please don’t make us out to be hating, racist, jealous, bullies because we don’t love her like we do Kate. Move past that because we’re tired of hearing it. There’s no other argument anymore for her sugars it seems. Excuse me for not buying Meghan’s pseudo feminism and humanitarian image. She is far from that of a humanitarian. Everything is written on the wall for her. She only has herself to thank for it.

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avengersmusings · 5 years ago

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FULL NAME: Natalia Alianova Romanova MEANING: Christmas Day NICKNAME: Natasha, Nat, Tash, Tasha MEANING: Natasha is the name she usually goes by to distance herself from the Red Room, Nat’s just a shortened form of her name, and Clint calls her Tash/Tasha when they’re alone thanks. AGE APPEARANCE: Appears 30, is actually 36 BIRTHDAY: April 22nd, 1984 ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Taurus SPECIES: Enhanced Human GENDER: Cis female ALLERGIES: None SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Pansexual THEME SONG(S): Praying by Kesha, Black Widow by Iggy Azela & Rita Ora, I Did Something Bad by Taylor Swift, and Alone Together by Fall Out Boy

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOR: Red HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: Shoulder length, usually either wavy or straight. She’ll wear it up in a bun if she’s lounging around. EYES COLOR: Green EYESIGHT: 20/20, the serum she was injected with corrected any and all imperfections. HEIGHT: 5″7′ WEIGHT: 145 lbs OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: On missions it’s whatever SHIELD makes her wear but when she’s alone it’s usually leggings and someone else’s shirt or sweats and Clint’s shirt. Flat shoes are a must and jeans are only worn if they’re going out in public (and they’re tight as can be). ABNORMALITIES: None. DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS,MOLES): Various knife/bullet wounds that have scarred over; a long bullet wound along right hip; small scattering of freckles along upper back, shoulders, and face. SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Nat always looks well kept and put together. The Red Room forced her to. FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: People usually think she’s a bitch and unapproachable. SKIN COLOR: Latina/White mixed BODY TYPE/BUILD: Slim, lean, and muscular. DEFAULT EXPRESSION: Resting bitch face x1000. POSTURE: Nat always has perfect posture, her body tense like a dancer’s. MEASUREMENTS(FEMALE ONLY): Waist: size 12; Bust: size 34D PIERCINGS: Multiple piercings on ears, bellybutton piercing. DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: As the Black Widow, there’s no distinguishable accent but when Nat is alone her natural accent comes out.

RELATIONS:

MOM: Anika Romanova HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Natasha’s mother died when she was young, but hse does have a fond memory of her mother singing to her. DAD: Ivan Petrovitch (Adopted); birth father is unknown. HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Before she was kidnapped by the Red Room, their relationship was very good. He took her in after her mother’s death and the Red Room told her that he was dead. SIBLINGS: Mayna Romanova HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: For the longest time, Natasha had no idea that Mayna was even still alive. They went through the Red Room together but it wasn’t until Nat dropped all of SHIELD’s files to the public that she found out her sister was still alive. CHILDREN: N/A HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS: N/A PAST LOVER(S): Alexi Shostakov (Ex-Husband), James Barnes (Ex-Fling) CURRENT LOVER: Clint Barton REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: Nat keeps quiet and analyzes them until she gets a good read of them. ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: Usually, Nat can work with anyone. Her training forces her to want to work with others, even if she doesn’t agree with them. However, it takes her a while to fully trust her teammates. HOW SOCIABLE(LONER,ETC): Mildly social, but only to those she trusts and cares about. FRIENDS: The Avengers team, Elise Burke, Wanda Maximoff, Carol Danvers, Pepper Potts PETS: Liho, a 3 year old black male cat. LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: Overbearing men, cocky people, men who don’t take her seriously because she’s a woman. PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE,ETC): Protective, Carefree. FAVORITE PEOPLE: Clint, Elise, Bucky, Wanda, and Pepper are her top five favorite people. LEAST FAVORITE PEOPLE: Clint, anyone Hydra or Red Room affiliated, people who are rude to women.

PERSONALITY:

..WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: ? Cautious, closed off, cold. ..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Affectionate, Loyal, Playful. ..AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Cold, Mean, Sarcastic. FAVORITE COLOR: Red. FAVORITE FOOD: Russian Pelmeni, pizza, anything chocolate. FAVORITE ANIMAL: Cats FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Flute FAVORITE ELEMENT: Fire LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: White LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Lemons, Cabbage Rolls, beans LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: None really. LEAST FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: Deep bass and drums LEAST FAVORITE ELEMENT: Earth HOBBIES: Ballet dancing, listening to calming music, eating cereal with Clint at 3am. USUAL MOOD: Calm, collected, but usually in a good mood.

DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Drinks socially. DARK VERSION OF SELF: Cunning, ruthless, a trained assassin that will kill without hesitation. LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: Loyal, willing to make the sacrifice play, intelligent. HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: Nat is usually pretty serious, but does have a playful side. BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Ghost are real and they haunt her at night. (IN)DEPENDANT: Independent, though tends to be dependent on people she really cares about. SOFT SPOT/VULNERABILITY: Talking about her pre-SHIELD past, Clint, orphaned children. OPINION ON SWEARING: She doesn’t do it unless the occasion calls for it, but isn’t against it. DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: It depends on the situation. MUSIC TYPE: She prefers classical or calming music and cannot stand rap or hip hop. MOVIE TYPE: Action, Horror, dumb comedies Clint makes her watch BOOK TYPE: Nat’s read all the classics but her favorites are those trashy romance novels and she pretends she doesn’t read them. GAME TYPE: Anything, she’s been trained to know how to read to win them all. COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: Nat likes being comfortable, meaning not too hot or too cold. SLEEPING PATTERN: Nat’s usually up at all hours, but likes to try to keep a sleeping schedule. It doesn’t really work out. CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Nat’s okay with a little bit of disarray in her living areas, a light clutter to show a home is lived in isn’t bad. But she can’t super messy environments. DESIRED PET: Cats HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: Nat’s free time is either spent training or with Clint. BIGGEST SECRET: There isn’t much Nat keeps secret anymore, between the SHIELD leak and her desire to let her teammates know everything. HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: Peggy Carter. WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: A lioness. FEARS: Becoming Natalia again and hurting one of her coworkers, Clint leaving her, failing to save someone. COMFORTS: Warm baths, Clint drapping himself around her, Liho purring on her chest.

HOW DO THEY ACT WHEN THEY ARE:

SAD: Nat has two sad modes: run away or shut it down. When she’s sad she either shuts down her negative emotion until she can’t hold it back anymore or runs away to deal with them on her own. HAPPY: Playful, joking around, wanting to be around as many people as possible. ANGRY: Depending on who/what made her angry: fighting, harsh words, or poking at known weaknesses are her usual go tos. AFRAID: Nat isn’t usually afraid, but when she is her body shuts down and goes into fight or flight mode. LOVE SOMEONE: Steals their clothing, wants to be around them all the time, becomes over protective. HATE SOMEONE: Nat either avoids them or makes their life a living hell. WANT SOMETHING: Nat will go after it, she’s not the one to beat around the bush. CONFUSED: Nat doesn’t get confused often but if she does end up confused she works it out until she understands it.

HOW DO THEY REACT TO:

DANGER: Nat’s fight or flight response kicks in and she tries to protect her teammates from whatever danger is present. SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: Nat murders them, no she just lets them know she’s not interested. PROPOSAL TO MARRY: At first, she thinks Clint is joking because he’s him. But when she eventually realizes he’s being legit, she’d accept and they’d spent at least a day celebrating. DEATH OF LOVED ONE: After so much loss, Nat’s almost immune to it. She gets sad and wants to be alone for a little bit and then wants Clint to just hold her. DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: Nat will not rest until she works it out okay. INJURY: If someone else is hurt, Nat hides it and pretends she’s okay. She’s also been injured so many times that she doesn’t realize she’s hurt half the time so. SOMETHING IRRESISTABLY CUTE: Nat pretends it’s annoying while secretly dying on the inside. LOSS OF HOURS OF WORK: I dare SHIELD to try to cut her out of something. I dare them.

Knowledge:

LANGUAGES: English, Russian, German, Latin, ASL. SCHOOLING LEVEL: Whatever the Red Room was FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Dance, Combat INTERESTED CAREERS: None really. EXPERTISE: Combat, Weapons Mastery, Hacking, Seduction & Manipulation PUZZLES: Puzzles aren’t that hard for her. CHEMISTRY: The science subject? Not so much. Human chemistry? She’s an expert. MATH: Math wasn’t that hard for her to understand. ENGLISH: She can speak it but reading something and finding hidden meanings? Not so much. GEOGRAPHY: SHIELD gave her some training so she has basic understandings of map reading. POLITICS/LAW: Nat has a basic understanding of the law, but she doesn’t really pay attention to politics. She knows how to play people to get what she wants. ECONOMY/ACCOUNTING: This is probably the one section Nat doesn’t care about. COOKING: Nat can cook basic things and enjoys doing it. SEWING: She’s really good at it, especially if it’s medical sewing. MECHANICS: Nat knows the basics of car owning but that’s about it. BOTANY (FLOWERS): Yeah no. MYTHOLOGY: Nat took an interest in Norse Mythology after meeting Thor but that’s about it. DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): Nat’s skill set deals with acting so. READING LEVEL: Proficient. HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: It depends on what she’s planning. Missions, she’s great. But everything else? Not so much.

ROMANCE:

DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: ALL THE TIME. Nat’s constantly pulling Clint in for kisses or cuddles or into empty rooms. HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): It depends on her mood and what she wants, but usually she’s pretty forward and confident in what she wants. GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Nat’s smooth, but Clint tends to make her nervous. She’s never felt like this for someone before. GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: Nat’s romantic life was to jump into things quickly and she took her time with Clint. PROTECTIVE: FUCK YES. ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Honestly, both. WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: Who needs presents when you can just give them sex? It’s probably a new toy or something they can use in the bedroom. TYPE OF KISSER: It depends on her mood, sometimes she wants soft kisses and some times she wants it rough. DO THEY WANT KIDS: No, but also yes? DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: Only if it’s Clint. MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: Both. She has a self-destruction tendency when it comes to love/romance. ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Yes. HOW ARE THEY IN BED: One of her skill sets is being good in bed okay. GET JEALOUS EASY: Yes and no. She knows Clint is it for her, and her for him, but at the same time she doesn’t like people touching her man. WIFE/HUBBY BEATER: No. Nope. No. Never. MARRY FOR MONEY: Nope. Maybe for the laughs to Tony, but not really. FAVORITE POSITION: Nat likes being on top. She really enjoys being on top during oral and just CRUSHING Clint between her thighs okay. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: Oh god, staying in and just hanging out and cuddling on the couch followed by great sex. OPINION ON SEX: Sex used to be something she just did because she was expected to, but now it means so much more to her. It’s one of her favorite things to do with Clint.

#char: natasha romanoff #natasha: bio

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local-anon · 6 years ago

Text

Another oc. I’m messy I know

Fallout oc

Full Name: Nokomis “Nova” Banks

Race: Black

Class: Courier

Sexuality: Bisexual

Age: 25

Physical Description

Gender: Trans man

Hair: Spiky messy dark black

Height: 5’6

Build: Slim, arms are lean muscled

Eyes: Wild and dark

Scars: One across the back of his head from when his brain was stolen. One down his spine from when his spine was stolen. One on his chest from when his heart was stolen. He has the gun shot on his forehead from Benny. A few bullet scars here and there.

Tattoos: None

Personality

Give us a summary of their backstory.

He doesn’t remember most of it but he gets flashes occasionally. His backstory is that he grew up in a shack out west, closer to San Francisco. He lived with his family until he was of age and decided to travel out toward New Vegas. He was raised with strict parents and he wasn’t able to truly become himself until he left. When he was shot he lost all of it, all he’s left with is memories of a person he doesn’t know anymore.

What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.?

S-8

P-9

E-6

C-8

I-10

A-6

L-5

Skills?

Barter-100

Energy Weapons-62

Explosives-77

Guns-100

Lock-pick-100

Medicine-100

Melee Weapons-94

Repair-90

Science-100

Sneak-87

Speech-100

Survival-80

Unarmed-30

Do they have any medical conditions?

Amnesia is his biggest issue.

Is medicine/ treatment available for them?

Doc Michaels tried his best but he’s only able to heal the brain not the mind

How much do they care about their outer appearance?

He really only is self conscious when people misgendered him. Any other time he doesn’t put much care into it

How often do they shower/ bathe?

He tries to whenever there’s running water. So only at the lucky 38 or when at Big mountain.

What do they fear the most?

He’s terrified of losing everything. Of people hating him and leaving him because of a small mistake.

They’re biggest flaw?

He grows too attached to people he shouldn’t. Is so desperate for affection that he’ll follow anyone around if given the right words.

Do they recognize it as a flaw?

He can’t see it. All he knows is that he likes people others are uncomfortable around or don’t like.

What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil)

Neutral Good

Do they have any hobbies? What are they?

He likes repairing and maintaining weapons and armor. He’s proud of his collection and can hold a surprising amount of weight.

Do they have a temper or are they level headed?

He’s level headed most of the time but when at the end of his string it’s a 50/50 chance he either cries or shoots the next person to test him.

Do they express their emotions freely or hide their true feelings?

Both. He tries to repress his emotions but he can get overwhelmed with how much shit has happened to him so as canon passes the more upset he gets.

How do they come off to others?

He’s a quiet kind of charming. He smiles when he needs to and laughs at the right time. He tries his best to be as charming as possible so people like him.

What first impression do they usually make?

He looks like wastelander, dirty face, hair wild, eyes crazy. He’s not the most approachable at first but once he speaks he wins people over.

Do they prefer to travel alone or with company?

Nova prefers company, he doesn’t like to be left alone with his thoughts and when he is he’s at greater risk for a panic attack.

Would you describe them as selfless or selfish?

He’s selfless, he goes far and beyond expectations to do as much as he can for people. He just wants the best for the Mojave and it’s people.

What do they find most attractive in others?

He’s attracted to voices. Smooth and soothing voices are what get him. Even if they’re layered in sarcasm.

Do they flirt often?

He doesn’t on purpose.

How easily do they fall in love?

Yes. Stupidly easy. Like someone just has to say “Good Job” and he imagines marrying them.

What’s their love life like?

He doesn’t do well in relationships because he let’s his insecurities control him and ends up never confessing.

Do they prefer to solve things diplomatically or using violence?

Diplomatically. He doesn’t like violence so he tries to convince people to step down through his high speech skill. After the Sierra Madre he is prone to excessive overkill because the ghost people made him paranoid enemies aren’t actually dead.

What is their combat style?

He prefers his automatic rifle. It has good damage and is fast.

What range do they prefer?

Long.

Do they sneak?

Most of the time. He still has the sneak suit from big mountain

What weapon(s) do they always carry with them?

All the weapons he ever picked up.

Their most prized possession?

A picture of him and his mom with his name on the back. He had it before the bullet.

What are their thoughts on having to kill on a daily bases in order to survive?

He doesn’t like killing but he deals.

Does it take a toll on them?

As long as it’s impersonal and he doesn’t know them.

Do they scavenge for their supplies or simply buy them?

He picks up every piece of junk

Are they the type to get distracted and go off to an unknown nearby location or do they stay on track?

He doesn’t stay on track very well

How do they sleep?

He doesn’t sleep. He didn’t realize how little he was getting until he passed out during a fight.

Are they picky about where and how or can they sleep basically anywhere?

He’s not

Are they a picky eater?

He’s not

Do they know how to cook?

Only a little

What’s their favorite beverage?

Sunset Sarsaparilla

Do they drink alcohol?

#oc: nova

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ticktockstuck · 6 years ago

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Where Everyone Lives, V2.0

There’s an old post lying around here that has basically this same premise but now that we’re post-Flag Friday it’s worth revisiting where exactly everyone is in the Verse, and going into a little more detail then the V1.0 version did. I’ll be splitting this one up by district since most of the cast is in Tick-Tock Town.

Central District

Galekh Xigisi can be found near the Central-Prosperia border in his family’s antique mansion. The surrounding land is gray and dead, and inside the home has been extensively modified to accommodate oozing personages.

Tagora Gorjek lives here with his father, where he often works towards his future career when he isn’t out looking for those in need of his services. The inside of his home is kept clean as a mirror, though thanks to his bumbling clones he has to spend a lot of time keeping it clean.

Tirona Kasund lives with her brainspawn brethren in a communal dormitory run by the city. She’s lived her whole life here, same as the others, and her room is decked out in motivational posters, mathematical or otherwise.

Tyzias Entykk lives and works here, in a communal apprentment she shares with a lot of other up-and-coming law students. Her family home, however, is a modest residence in the middle of Prosperia.

The home of the aristocratic Erdehn family is here, whose questionably talented daughter Amisia is usually off in a studio being rented out in Prosperia.

Seaside District

Polypa Goezee’s main base of operations is somewhere in this district, though she has little hidey-holes scattered all over the city. Main points in common between them all are stockpiles of emergency rations, backup legs, and spare manga lying around to keep herself entertained while she’s waiting out pursuers.

Remele Namaaq lives here, in Seaside Central.

Zebede Tongva and his father live here in a run-down apartment tower infested with bees and bee-friendly plants. It’s in a block of hexagonal apartments near the Seaside-Qerse border, and a stone’s throw from Erisoldier territory in Seaside East.

Tagora Gorjek’s mutated clones have a home to themselves here, paid for by Tagora himself to keep them away from him. Its residents have given it the moniker “the Tagormitory”.

Prosperia

Amisia Erdehn’s art studio is located in a penthouse suite that comes complete with greenhouse area. Most of the greenhouse glass is covered up to keep paint and hand-vomit from splattering everywhere, and the actual living space is fairly small, but Amisia prefers it to her family home in Central.

Bronya Ursama and her wealthy parents live in a wide-but-not-deep mansion with lavish surrounding gardens. Despite having everything she could want at home Bronya’s felt increasingly uneasy and spends more of her time out of the house than in it.

Karako Pierot is staying with a wealthy family who adopted him, though few would be able to tell you he’s doing so if they’re aware of him at all.

Lynera Skalbi and her parents reside in historic Skalbi Manor in the aristocratic sector here. Their not-wide-but-deep mansion is loaded with magical paraphernalia from their family’s past, including a deep stockpile of captured demons.

Stelsa Sezyat lives and works out of a modest home she’s earned for herself. The local community is very accepting of free dolls like her and includes more than a few free dolls in their number.

The Entykk household can be found here, towards the Alterneo-Prosperia border.

The Houtek family lives here, albeit without their daughter Marsti after they mutually decided to part ways.

Qerse

Ardata Carmia lives here.

Charun Krojib lives underneath Tick-Tock Town in the Understreets, deep enough to be below the sewer lines even, but is roughly in the Qerse area. Their cave is right next to a chunk of Clocknet, which they scavenge from frequently for their art.

Chixie Roixmr and her mother have a dingy little place to themselves in the side of Qerse host to many other immigrant families from the Land of Rot and Sparks. It’s on a winding road that’s one of the most curvy in the city outside of Alterneo, but you can tell it’s her home from how many of her own promotional posters she has plastered over every wall.

Daraya Jonjet lives here in a snug two-floor house, not that you would be able to find her here during most hours. It’s in the LORAS part of town, and it shows inside and out as her parents still have the experiment-loving mindset of native LORASites. The house’s scarce room being taken up by science equipment means Daraya spends a lot of time outside the house.

Mallek Adalov and his father control a spacious penthouse, though it feels smaller than it really is thanks to all the tech cluttering the place up. The suite has as many mods as its young resident does, many of them installed to help with doll de-programming and re-programming.

Tegiri Kalbur has been a longtime Qerse native, with both his old dojo and his current apartment being found here. The former has been trashed for years but he’s made the latter into a comfortable little den for himself and occasionally Polypa by stocking the place to the roof with anime merchandise.

Alterneo

Fozzer Velyes works in an in-city cemetery and lives about a block away. The place is small for someone his size so he mostly uses it like a storage shed and just sleeps in the cemetery. Easier to keep people from robbing graves that way.

Marsti Houtek lives down in the sewer lines beneath Alterneo, in a janitorial side area she’s converted into a home for herself. She doesn’t spend frivolously so while the place is spotless from roof to floor, there’s not a lot of decoration here, though it does include a giant tub for her to toss bath bombs into.

Wanshi Adyata lives just a neighborhood away from a historic library, where she works part-time to eventually get her hands on some grimoires stored there. Her house is in one of the upscale neighborhoods closer to the Central-Alterneo border.

The Maenad household, currently sans the Maenad’s daughter Chahut, can be found here.

Emerald Quarter

Zebruh Codakk and his father used to live here in a stately manor, until the latter had a fatal accident and left the whole property to his son and his son’s significant other. The mansion used to be full of people, but now it’s only home to two. Zebruh doesn’t really leave the house anymore, but his self-proclaimed better half certainly does.

Sburbia

None of the trolls live here, actually! It’s a mostly human-populated district so no surprise there. This section’ll be more packed with stuff when I decide to include the Homestuck cast in this post.

Nocturne / Wrecked

Boldir Lamati lives with her adoptive parents in one of the nicer parts of the district near the Nocturne-Emerald border. Inside her home she has access to a wealth of academic knowledge and when she’s not off sleuthing you can usually find her at home by the fireplace with her head in a book.

Diemen Xicali lives alone in a loft above a butcher shop bereft of meat, living or otherwise. It’s a sparsely-decorated abode, and most of what is there got there thanks to doing favors for Mallek.

Elwurd has managed to fix a place up for herself here, a real model citizen when it comes to home improvement. She lives alone in a place built for two.

Folykl Darane and Kuprum Maxlol are hiding out inside a large warehouse here, one of the few places that can actually support Kuprum and the giant chunk of Clocknet stuck to him. It’s a better place than its humble description makes it out to be thanks to being close to the Emerald Quarter, with internet and everything.

Outside of Tick-Tock Town

Azdaja Knelax and Konyyl Okimaw live in a seaside mansion on the Land of Coral and Combat, won with their collective earnings in the gladiatorial arena scene. Azdaja’s taken over the surface part of the mansion with robotics and advanced tech. Konyyl’s carved her own spot in the mansion’s basement, which runs straight down to the shoreline and is full of traps and dangers she uses for exercise.

Baizli and Barzum Soleil travel with the Midnight Melpomene, performing odd jobs around the carnival and specializing in daredevil stunts. Their young age makes them a rarity within the Melpomene’s expansive staff, and impressively enough still have their own room.

Chahut Maenad, after being forced to flee Tick-Tock Town, briefly joined up with the Midnight Melpomene and eventually made her way to the Land of Oasis and Abyss. She’s settled into a comfortable position on the island of Hore Corror, though she still sometimes tours with the Melpomene to sneak back into Tick-Tock Town.

Cirava Hermod can be found deep inside the bowels of the 🐠ＭＯＩＳＴＹＳＴＯＰＩＡ 🐠, where they tend to stay after ＴｈｅＡｃｃｉｄｅｎｔ led to them becoming partly petrified. Their layer of the city is drenched in seawater and some parts are flooded, but it’s perfect to keep people from bothering them while they stream.

Lanque Bombyx lives by himself on one of the many planets of the celestial ring, though not one mentioned in this post.

Marvus Xoloto travels a lot on business and has no consistent home.

Nihkee Moolah lives on the Land of Coral and Combat. She may not be a native to the planet but she fits right in with the hyper-competitive culture, being a thus-far undefeated gladiator with a home of her own on the planet where she spends most of her time prepping for the next fight.

Skylla Koriga is trapped along with her mother inside the ghost town of Tarnation, located in a nebulous location somewhere on the Land of Dunes and Darkness. The best she’s got is a run-down farmstead but it’s not her neighbors have much better.

Vikare Ratite has no strings to hold him down. He doesn’t live anywhere anymore.

#ticktockstuck #Setting Notes #character notes #yeah i'm not tagging everybody in this individually

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