#Legend's brain fog will be a problem most days

[mizaruwu]

Yo do you subscribe to the theory that Hyrule Warriors merged the three timelines back together? Cause I've been brainrotting over your necromancer au again and imagining Legend asking for help from Wars by writing a letter and hiding it somewhere where he hopes that it will be preserved until Wars' era.

Maybe Wars feels a little lonely after LU too, so he goes on a journey to discover artifacts left by the heroes before him and stumbles across this letter which simply says "Captain, I hope you find this and can find a way to help us. Rulie is not handling our separation well. Please come help him if you are able. -The Vet"

Wars immediately runs to Lana and after some convincing she agrees to send him through time to the point when the letter was written. He arrives to find Legend sitting with paper and quill still in hand, the faintest smile visible in his tired eyes, and he knows right away that something is very, very wrong.

Does he manage to talk some sense into Hyrule? Does he offer some other healthier coping tool? Who knows but oh man the idea is driving me crazy in the best way lol

Oh I'm totally subscibed to that theory XD

A tiny problem– the timeline is locked in the AU. Time travel can't happen to the parts of the timeline post LU (to stop a problem like monsters crossing timelines again) thats why any time travel item Rulie found can't work anymore. It'll be the same for the rest of the links.

I do think its funny to imagine Warriors finding Legend's letter and realising he can't do anything. No matter how much he asks Lana or prays to Hylia the timeline won't open for him. The helpless guilt? It'll be soo delicious

Hypothetically, Hyrule will be so happy to see Wars again but would grow a tiny bit (an understatement) jealous that the captain was able to visit him. How unfair!

I dont think it would go well. How can Warriors say that Rulie shouldnt raise their dead brothers when its his only way to see them again? When Wars can time travel to visit the others if he wants to?

When wars has loved ones around him he wont endanger when he goes home and Hyrule has to stay away from the princesses so the monsters out for his blood wont come for them? The captain wont be the one alone for who knows how long when he goes back!

[sleepy-the-loz-enthusiast]

For the wonderful people who liked my post about having a Legend-ary dream (I'm not funny), I wrote it into a fic !!! This is the first modern au fic I have posted in maybe a year I'm so sorry

Warning for heavy projection (if you can't deal with your problems just give them to your comfort character XD), and please let me know if I need to add anything else my brain is soup rn

I'm sorry if this isn't very coherent- but I hope you enjoy !!! Fic under the cut :]

Buzzing under his cheek startled Legend out of the deep sleep he'd fallen into. Pushing up onto his forearms, he fumbled with the device until the insistent buzzing stopped. Right, yeah, time to take the meds that Legend apparently needed because his stupid body couldn't do what he needed-

He muffled a groan into his pillow. Then sluggishly shifted onto his side to blindly grope for his water bottle and the pills he had to take for the day. Distantly, he thanked hylia for his therapist's suggestion to measure out everything he had to take for the day ahead of time. And thanked himself for actually listening.

Once the meds had been taken with a generous swig of water from his dented metal bottle, Legend flopped back down onto his stomach. He gently stroked the soft fur of the old rabbit plushie squished under his stomach and his bleary eyes slipped shut. Resting them for a few minutes couldn't hurt.

...

Legend was abruptly woken by his door slamming open and a voice he should recognise yelling at him.

"You getting up today or what?" An older, male, voice yelled from the doorway.

Legend jumped, shoving himself upright and hiding the rabbit in his mess of blankets. "Working on it, asshole!" He snapped.

"Good, mum says you can't laze around all day in bed! She can't always care for your sorry ass!" The man- technically his foster brother, the eldest bio child of these parents- hissed, and slammed the door shut on his way out.

Though futile, Legend flipped him off once he heard those heavy footsteps disappear. If doing the bare minimum to prevent him from keeling over was considered caring, then that asshole must be royalty. Legend groaned as he fell back down onto his side, onto something distinctly hard. Ow. At least his phone wasn't damaged, from what he could see at least.

Half open eyes glanced over the collection of notifications that'd formed while he slept, swiping past notifications from youtube and tumblr without paying much attention to what they said. He foggily skimmed through the backlog of messages on the hylia knows how many groupchats he's in, and swiped them away. Finally, the discord messages from the person Legend could trust the most. Hyrule.

These were the notifications he actually bothered opening.

As discord loaded, Legend sought out his rabbit plushie, Bunny, and held her close once more, curling into a loose ball. He also pulled a blanket back over himself, for good measure. It was childish. It was dumb. Legend didn't care. It was comforting.

Discord loaded. Rulie hadn't sent him much, just a few funny cat videos and memes. But they were online, and began typing as soon as Legend had looked through everything.

Faerule:

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

youre alive

sky and time are really worried about you

you okay?

Legend paused, reading over the messages until they made sense in his jumbled brain. Eventually his fingers typed out a reply.

Why?

Faerule:

dude

we havent seen you in days

Wait, it'd been days? He could swear he'd seen them just....

Days???

Faerule:

yea

i figured you were tired but sky said hes worried

time just left

were at the cafe btw

do you wanna join us?

Legend stared at the message. And stared. Did he want to go out? He should, but...

But.... why? What is the 'but'? What was he missing in the fog of his brain?

Sure

Be there soon

Legend didn't wait for a response before switching off his phone and sluggishly dragging himself upright. And immediately doubled over his stomach as it erupted into white hot agony.

Fuck his life. The SECOND he gets a break, his period starts???

It doesn't matter that it's a sign his body is 'out of survival mode' or whatever. He doesn't care if it's something to be glad about because it means he can rest after weeks of exam stress and non-stop studying. Why? Because it FUCKING HURTS.

Whatever.

At least his secret stash of painkillers was undisturbed. And he'd had the foresight to wear a pad. Even if they were uncomfortable.

Legend glanced around before taking two tablets dry. He hid the rest with practiced, silent movements, but still searched for anyone watching. Some may call it paranoia, but Legend calls it staying safe.

Like how he pushes through the discomfort to quietly pry open the loose floorboard under his bed. He pulls out the bag he keeps under there that holds his heart. He silently bundled up Bunny and hid her in her special place in the bag, but not before placing a gentle kiss on her little forehead.

Somehow, Legend picked out an acceptable outfit. His favourite oversized red hoodie (that Hyrule joked it hid the bloodstains of his enemies) ensured that he didn't need to do deal with the sensory nightmare of wearing a binder. The soft, worn but sturdy fabric was a comforting bonus. It did, also, hide bloodstains well. The pin encrusted beanie he pulled on also hid his shame in the greasy mop that his hair had become. Baby blue bands wrapped around his fingers were his proof that, despite what his body wanted, Legend was a man. Sometimes.

By the time Legend had slung his bag over his shoulders and texted this mother (fuck what's her name-?) and left the house, his head was spinning. But whatever. He was always a shaky mess on his period. It was fine. The cafe wasn't far, anyway. And he needed to get outside. It was fine.

Even if Legend needed to spend a few minutes doubled over on a bench. And nearly threw up onto the field halfway between this house and the cafe. He was fine. It was fine.

The prickles of cold sweat on the back of his neck and weakness weighing down his knees didn't dissuade Legend from smiling when he caught sight of two friends in the homely cafe.

At first, the group- Legend, Hyrule, Ravio, Wild, and Four- had started hanging out there after school, since Hyrule's cousin worked full-time there. But it soon became a regular spot for them when Hyrule had a meltdown after a bad day, and instead of kicking them out, their cousin just took them and Legend to a quiet, sensory friendly room to calm down. Since then, it held a welcome place in Legend's heart, and become a safe haven throughout high school.

But what happens now high school's over-

"Hey Lege!" Sky greeted, snapping Legend out of his thoughts. He offered a small wave and a warm smile.

"Wow you look like shit, come sit down!" Hyrule greeted him less warmly, but the care and concern shone through when they shifted to make room for Legend to sit beside them.

"What happened to 'hi how are you'?" Legend snarked with a small smile. Though it quickly faded alongside the colour in his face while he worked to lower himself down beside Hyrule without collapsing.

"'Hi how are you's are for dumbasses who don't vanish for days," Hyrule chuckled. They pushed a plate towards Legend, and on it sat a generous slice of carrot cake and Legend's favourite drink.

Legend didn't honour that with a response. Not because he's an ass, but because the small giggle that bubbled in his soul was just enough to trigger the most agonising, soul crushing cramp.

If hell existed, Legend would prefer it over this bullshit. Fucking OW.

...

No matter how many times Hyrule had told themself to expect the unexpected with Legend, they didn't expect Legend to suddenly go white and smack his head on the table. Legend not talking to people for days wasn't unheard of, and Hyrule knew he'd been stressed, so hadn't worried too hard.

But this? This was pretty damn worrying.

The worst thing was the small, pathetic noise that slipped out of Legend's mouth as he clutched at his stomach with shaking hands.

Distantly, Hyrule heard Sky swear and rush to kneel beside their friend. They heard him rummage through his bag and talk in a soft voice to the trembling boy. They saw how Legend's shoulders visibly tensed the longer Sky rubbed his back or tried to force a small pack into his hands.

"Sky, back off," Hyrule said, soft as to not overwhelm their friend, but firm enough to make Sky pause.

"But- I've seen this happen with Sun, and I want to help-" Sky defended. He did remove his hands, though.

"Yeah and that's kind, but you're overwhelming him," Hyrule explained, keeping his tone even and soft. Legend groaned his agreement.

"No, he needs-" Sky paused, "... shit, no, you're right. Sorry, Lege. Do you need to go somewhere else?"

Legend kept his eyes squeezed shut against the wooden table for a moment longer, before he lifted his head to give him a little nod. Sky gave him an unreadable look, before making eye contact with Hyrule (who held it for maybe a second before looking away because who just stares into people's eyes?) and handing them the small pack thingy he'd tried giving to Legend. He then just left?? To go talk to Hyrule's cousin. Ah.

Hyrule looked back to find Legend staring at them with his classic "I am but a poor victorian child, I have nothing to offer, but may I have love in this cruel, harsh world?" eyes.

...maybe not sending that message. More like "I am going to kill everyone here and then myself", which Hyrule knew was Legend code for "give me a hug or I will cry". So Hyrule tentatively placed his hand on Legend's back, looking closely for any of those silent signs that he doesn't want the touch.

Legend instead relaxes, letting go of the tension between his shoulder blades with a sigh and his eyes slip shut again. Hyrule gives him a smile, soft in a way that would've earned them an eyeroll if he'd seen it.

Sky returned to the table. "We're good to let him chill in the room until Proxi's on her break and can take you guys back to yours."

"...'him' is RIGHT here." Legend's head lifted off the table to give Sky stink eye. Sky, the cheeky bastard he is, merely poked his tongue out.

Hyrule blinked. "Wait, are we allowed to take our drinks in there?"

"Mhm!" Sky affirmed.

.

If he was being completely honest, Legend wasn't entirely sure what the fuck was going on. He wasn't high, but his brain drifted in a foggy bubble while his forehead pressed against the edge of a table.

Rulie was nearby; their hand and aroma of wildflowers anchored Legend to his body. Sky was also there, his presence warm and playful but too much right now.

Demise is tap dancing in his uterus wearing stilettos and on fire, which probably explains why he's doubled over.

Somehow, Sky and Rulie get him on his feet? Though the ground tilts and churns beneath his feet, and Legend's face flushes though chills rain on his back like a flood of frozen nails. When a flood of black spots speckle his vision and his knees nearly buckle, Legend grabs ahold of the taller man beside him. He faintly hears a small, surprised 'oh!', but otherwise he's allowed to cling onto the pillowy fabric of Sky's hoodie sleeve as the man leads the way.

Legend knows when they get to the room because the lights in here are warmer and dimmer and Hyrule's smell of wildflowers draws closer. They stop and Legend's vision clears a little to reveal their little safe haven. Complete with a ridiculously soft red throw blanket that Hyrule was carefully rearranging over the massive beanbags in the corner. The plate of carrot cake and Legend's incredibly specific coffee order were securely sat on the short table beside the beanbags.

Then Hyrule gently eases Legend's bag from his back, making sure that Legend can see what he's doing, and carefully placed it beside the beanbags. Meanwhile Sky pried Legend's shaking fingers off his sleeve, but soon replaced it with his own hand.

He tries to ignore how Sky's larger, warmer hand and sturdy presence dredges up memories of another man who used to hold Legend's bony hands. Who raised Legend with warmth and laughter. Warmth and laughter that died that night in that alley, leaving behind the shivering mess of a boy that Legend has become.

The worst part is that Sky's so damn patient. He doesn't complain when Legend's rings surely cut into his palm. He doesn't complain when he has to wrap an arm around Legend's back just to keep him upright. He doesn't complain when it takes both him and Hyrule to get Legend situated on a beanbag because Legend's so, so tired.

Legend should find this humiliating.

Legend should be able to decipher what the voices swimming above his head are saying. He should be stronger than the shivering ball he's curled himself into. He should be able to at least open his eyes.

When something warm presses against his stomach, the awful pain melts into a puddle. Alongside the ice cage keeping Legend's tears at bay.

He blindly reaches out until his broken body is wrapped in the soft embrace of wildflowers and safety. Not even the sobs wracking his soul can dislodge the warm, soft arms that hold him.

Hyrule never shushes him, never whispers kind lies. Hyrule sees his broken body and soul and cradles the shards regardless. Their heart beating beneath Legend's ear never stops, never pauses its song of love and hope.

Hyrule still holds him when the tears slow to a trickle and the fog in his head gives way to the gentle confines of sleepiness. They press a kiss into the unkempt mess of his hair with a promise.

"It's alright, you can rest. I'll be here when you wake up."

[presidentdisastraofgallifrey]

Neverland Liveblog

(excuse the exclusive use of emoticons, I am NOT typing all this up on my phone and can't be bothered to figure out emojis on the computer)

(also this is me listening to this for the first time, unlike most of the relisten)

So is all of Gallifreyan history since Rassilon his era? Isn't that like a hundred thousand years or something?

"So that's it, Doctor, no more daleks, ever?" next up on things no one in this universe should be allowed to say

"She has her own score to settle" ooh I bet he still thinks about this semi-regularly

Heh, Romana has no time or patience for this nonsense

Do you think Vansell is always grumpy because Romana implemented rules that made the CIA less shadowy? I bet he is

She's so stiff and formal now, it's like she's tried to revert to before the met the Doctor :'(

The flat galaxy society lmao

I am retroactively blaming Trump and our current nonsense on this anti-time situation, because they totally just said the wrong person became President of somewhere on Earth

You know, Time Lords are definitely a problem, but these stories always make a surprisingly good argument for them regulating time

Why doesn't this paradox problem apply to everyone the Doctor saves?

Ah! Sudden Imperiatrix foreshadowing!

Note from later: is the Imperiatrix foreshadowing bit even relevant to the rest of this story? Was that JUST an angsty set up for Gallifrey?

I am a little distracted because the only thing I knew about Charley prior to this was that her sister turns out to be a literal Nazi

Romana in relation to the Doctor as a representative of the Time Lords is so weird; she used to be the misfit companion that was a problem

Heh, Romana mad at him for baiting Vansell as if she doesn't mock people all throughout Gallifrey

Charley and Ace would get along, I think

Did she just slap Vansell? Oh, she totally did, and has definitely wanted to for a while!

Dear Rassilon, she's never sounded so very Time Lord

NO ONE respects this woman's Presidency

"Such devotion to his companion, oh how touching" chewing glass imagining Romana here staring tiredly after him, no longer remembering the past as light or fun

AH! The jump scare of Rassilon!

"Congratulations, Romana, you've discovered Rassilon" lol

This rhyme could be haunting, but it's not because they're just awkwardly saying it. I was sure there'd be a creepy children's chorus singing it

Every. Fucking. Legend. Is. Real.

But it's actually more interesting how Gallifrey, supposedly a bastion of science and philosophy, is built so heavily on superstition

"I will not be rushed, Vansell!" brain fog. Just saying. Can't make decisions quickly these days.

Vansell has a surprising amount in common with the Doctor for...well, for any non-renegade Time Lord, but especially one who hates him this much

Ooh, starting early with putting Romana on trial for everyone's problems

Oh whoa this is horrifying holy shit! Even worse than I thought the oubliette was!!

Aw, she has no patience for his banter anymore

But I so love them slipping easily into planning under their breath, trusting each other on those plans, and also simultaneously having a separate discussion as a distraction

"ME? But I'm the Acting President!" He's being mind controlled here! They are so, so all about the appropriate titles and positions that it takes a bonus dose of mind control to overcome this argument

The way her voice breaks when she talks about memories with the sonic screwdriver <3

Also, that goodbye sounded pretty final. I know they'll see each other again, but I'm wondering if this is the last time they'll part as friends...

She no longer has much compassion for even sympathetic villains

I choose to believe that Romana only wears her full Presidential robes for formal meetings and such and stubbornly (much to everyone else's chagrin) wears practical outfits on these sorts of expeditions, specifically because something like this will always happen

Oh no, poor Charley

"We're born into love, not anger" well, you were. I'm not so sure about the Time Lords

Oh. The Doctor reverting to Time Lord traditions and values unironically is so delicious. The way he completely unhesitatingly calls Rassilon My Lord <3<3

Oh, I have so many complicated feelings about Romana having Rassilon's blessing here

Oh, dang! I'm genuinely surprised that Zagreus really was the one myth that didn't exist, until it created itself

[theloveinc]

this is v v random and you dont have to answer if you dont want to bc it IS personal, but i wanted to ask abt ur experience on wellbutrin? in terms of like, getting energy or feeling tired, sleepy? im worried about it making me sleepy/tired/brain fog (im 26 n BUSY as heck) again, dont have to answer at all, just asking bc i know youre quite open n honest on stuff so i thought id give it a shot and ask about your experience n like. ur pros & cons if thats okay. anyways thank u lub u legend bye <3

🥺Legend, of course u can ask!! I'm probably not the best choice, given I've only been on it since early June (and some people, much longer)... but honestly, in terms of brain fog and sleep... I have had almost literally NO issues and am all positive reviews here (...kinda).

One of the reasons I was prescribed it actually was for excessive sleepiness and brain fog (I get horrible, horrible brain fog normally and I have for years.)... and even though the results have been somewhat inconsistent since I've switched dosages like three times (and was off for a bit), literally it's helped SOOOOO much.

Obviously, people's reactions are going to be different, a moot (who I can tag but don't want to like... expose)(edit: @ace-of-books in the replies of this post!!!) on here told me Wellbutrin actually keeps her awake to the point where she needs mild sedatives to sleep... but I've honestly found I have no trouble actually going to sleep once I actually decide to (I like to use my phone in bed so I partially blame some sleep issues on that, but... you know) and waking up has gotten way, WAY easier.

(Also, with my new dosage, I take it twice a day and it's the NON-time release pills, and I've noticed that actually I haven't been as tired getting into bed usually... but someone told me this would go away once I fully adjusted AND I didn't have that problem on the time released capsules I took initially. Also it could just be that I've been taking a lot of naps at 8pm LMAOOO AND it doesn't actually bother me since the brain fog has been very reduced! *skips and jumps and claps feet together like a little leprechaun*🤩🤩🤩)

So yeah. More issues with... not being able to sleep than with being sleepy in the daytime. Thought when I was taking my more concentrated dose, if I had caffeine with it, things would get a little WoOoOooooOOOOooo funny🤡!!! at first.

As for cons... it's so funny because when I switched dosages the first time, I was like "omg these pills suck they stopped working after like, a month..." THAT WAS NOT TRUE LMAOOO. I HAD JUST GOTTEN USED TO THEM, and when I moved on to a higher dosage (150mg once a day to 150 TWICE a day🥶😨😱), I literally went insane (crying over mild inconveniences IN PUBLIC. I could think too hard and I would cry. Keep me awake over anxiety literally non-stop type insane).

And then, when I subsequently stopped taking them and it faded(?) from my system, it became very clear I actually was... worse off without them and I was extremely happy to go back on

I could always get used to it again, but right now I feel GREAT and literally kind of spring out of bed when I need to be up. No more lazing about waiting for my mind to work, it just does for the most part.

(Though I do get tired in the day because my schedule is awful, and also still crave sleeping a lot when I am in bed, it's just when I do wake + get up the adjustment period from sleepy time to being awake is almost... instant. So that, I would say, is fantastic).

ANYWHOOOO, this is kind of a long-winded answer that I answered sort of... backwards (talking about lack of sleep vs. excessive sleep), but... my experience has been so positive, even despite the dosage changes and the fact that it obviously hasn't cured my depression entirely. I just haven't had any issues with it making me tired at all, and it's FIXED my brainfog, which I guess is the answer to your question!

BUT, and I'm just gonna say this for legal reasons cuz I'm sure you already know, talk to your doctor/a medical professional first before making any decisions! Don't base taking it entirely off of ME because I also know people who experienced nothing positive on Wellbutrin at all. Not me, tho. But that can be common.

Thanks for reading this all (and being sooo sweet I lub you too + am kissing you), if you did! And no worries if you didn't, but good luck with whatever ends up happening!💕💕💕

[jar-full-of-pixel-hearts]

Sugar Kiss Part 3

Part 1 - Part 2

Space Force Netflix

Fuck Tony Scarapiducci x Reader

Notes: I get a little bit cared away by my inspiration so this part is kind of long. But, I hope you will stay until the end because it’s really important ! I hope you will like it !

* English is not my first language, I tried really hard to correct myself but, I hope you will excuse me if some mistakes are still there.  

—-

F. Tony couldn’t really explain what kind of impulse took him that Friday evening on his way home. But, one thing was sure, he needed to see you. 

After one week of feeling ashame and stupid. Writing draft after draft of tweets not sure of the good things to write, apologies, joke, publicity proposition, before immediately erasing them. He became foolishly hopeful to cross your path on the entry of the General Naird office or in the lobby.  It’s only when Wednesday arrived that the idea that maybe you were mad at him slowly started to drive him crazy, leading him to be distracted and sad. 

On many occasions that week, people had asked him if he were okay, confused in front of his unusual silence and the way he was absently biting the nail of his thumbs. 

Even Brad, who usually had a smile each time the four stars general became angry at Tony, started to ask questions that Friday morning.

“ Are you okay ? You are sit on this chair for almost thirty minutes now “ 

“ Yeah yeah interesting. Brad...did...Y/N is the kind of woman to do the cold shoulder traitement...or things like that...did she bring you a box of somethings this week...did she get ill ? “ Tony asked, ignoring the previous question of the one star general about his state of mind.

“ Y/N ?  No I didn’t see her this week, she had that new product she was preparing to release so she was kind of busy. And she certainly is not ill, my wife always knows when one of us is sick. I don’t know how she does it, it’s almost like if she ....” Brad replied half mumbling to himself. “ Why do you want to know if she is the kind to do the silence traitement...what did you do F. Tony ? “  

The joy that maybe you weren't mad at him, abruptly chasing the dark cloud, making him jump out of the inconfortable chair.  

“ She had a cake release ? It wasn’t announced anywhere ! How should I were suppose to known that !” He exclaimed, already writing his next tweet for the moonlight cake twitter. Returning to his office, letting Brad wonders what’s happening and repeatedly calls his name. 

But,once the funny tweet was ready, he still couldn’t send it either, having a strange feeling that it wasn’t the right thing to do. Feeling that Fuck Anthony Scarapaducci didn’t had often in his life.

And there he was, standing in front of the bakery door, waving at you, a smile full of hope plastered on his face . 

Like always, you were stunning even in your simple casual jeans and t-shirt . At your expression, who’s quickly shifting for the most adorable smirk he ever seen, you didn’t expect to see anybody tonight.

Trying to calm the now fast beat of his heart and stop the fog invading his brain as you were reaching to unlock the door. A thousand of sentences started to spin in his head. But, none of the brilliant introductions or explanations for his presence really seem to justify the impulse who’s caught him. Letting him totally mute in front of your amused gaze.  

 “ Well, I know you didn’t really have close hours in space, Spaceman, but on earth it’s kind of a  popular thing. “ You joke, your smile illuminating his night. 

“ Yeah I know...We work on that...I was near and I thought to come see if you still were there...” He lied. “ I can come back another day if you prefer…?” 

“ And let me eat all by myself the two last cinnamon rolls of the day ? No, come in, save me of a devastating sugar rush “ 

" If you insist on offering me a cinnamon roll…" He smiled, passing the door.  

Looking around, admiring the simple but elegant Moon theme you had put in the main room.  Succeeding somehow to make something like space, usually cold, welcoming and warm just like you.  

“ Welcome to Moonlight cake F.Tony “ 

“ Thanks, I like it, it’s really...it’s really you, but with the moon...like Space Force is great but here it’s...really moonie...Instagram aesthetic...” He replied, realizing too late that he was babbling. Closing his eyes,cursing against himself. He suddenly opened them at the soft touch of your hand on his arms. 

“ Thank you, it was kind of the idea... F. Tony, I’m sorry but...are you...are you mad at me, for not telling you sooner about twitter ? Because I swear I thought that you knew“ You shyly ask, the expression in your face, a mix of curiosity, hope and sadness, hurting him. 

“ Mad at you, me ? Naah, of course no...I didn’t reply because of all this job the general Naird had for me this week. That man is so lost if I’m not here to read his tweet and arrange his meeting...” Fuck Tony reply, exaggerating his expression. The last grumble of his own fear that you were mad at him leaving his body like a stone out of his chest” And your uncle tell me about that cake release so I just think that you didn’t need that kind of distraction, that all I swear “  

Seeing you smiling again, the expression so painful for him, leaving your face. He caught himself smiling, like if your happiness was sufficient to make himself happy, like a human bluetooth device.

“ Take a seat I will come back with the pastries  “ You offer him, disappearing being the double door of the kitchen. 

Absently sitting on one of the bistro chairs of the counter, passing a hand in his hair to keep them smooth and in order. F. Tony gave another look around him, discovering your touch in every little decoration and design. Passing from the soft grey of the wall from the blue roses on the counter and the framed picture of the moon. 

“ Sorry for making you wait, I put a batch of cupcake in the oven for tomorrow. So, what brought you here ? “ You asked, contouring the long surface before sitting at his side, putting one of the dessert plates with the precious roll in front of him.

“ I um...I “ He started, fidgeting with his fork, the thought of telling you that he simply wanted to see your face crossing his mind before being shut down by his ego and fear of rejection “ I’m here to offer you my help with the media and talking about an idea“ He suddenly exclaimed, the fog of his brain vanishing.  

“ I'm listening “ You reply, tearing a piece of your roll.

And the simple things that you were truly listening to him,giving you all your attention ,gave him one of the best feelings in the world. 

" When I plan a meeting or press conference we always have the same company hired by the government who serves us awful coffee and hard as hell cookies. No surprise after that, that these reporters ask stupide and horrible questions, they are angry. But, if we serve them your soft, sweet pastry...happiness." He explained, taking a bite of his own sweet. 

" That seems a really great idea, but what makes you think they will accept the change. They will maybe not like what I have to offer or my price. "

" We will probably have to make a plan with a smaller size of your product, bite size, smaller but more for the same cost to bake. But trust me, after a taste of your stuff they will say yes to everything you will ask." He replied, sure of his affirmation. Naird maybe didn't take him seriously when he was talking about social media, but, even he was able to see that in planification, F. Tony didn't play games. " The reputation of Moonlight cake is perfect in the town and at the base. Link to the space force event you will become a legend." 

"Did you think about what it will cost me to do this ? Transport, staff and stock ?" 

" I had thought of it too. If you bring some regular stock, we can sell them at the cafeteria, to the soldier and staff, creating a limited event. So, you will raise your sales of the day and It will also give the chance to gain new customers. “ He continu, glad to not lose all his capacity in front of your brilliant gaze.   

"That's smart,but I'm only a small bakery in a town in Colorado. Government won't hire small business like mine usually" You asked, your knee brushing his as you instinctively approaching him, caught in the discussion. 

" Please, I'm Fuck Anthony Scarapiducci. " He smirks, approaching his face of yours, like if he was about to give you a secret. " I have important contact. " He wink, his heart racing,your delicious perfume waking up is sense. 

" And you will help me, just like that, for my pretty eyes? " You reply,almost in a whisper playfully flirting.

" Y/ N I could do so many things for just the sight of your pretty eyes…" F. Tony flirty confesses, his face at only few inches of yours, giving a glance to your lips. 

Your gaze locked, you slowly approche of each other, attraction pushing you like a magnet. 

Before being suddenly distracted by the loud noise of the oven clock. 

" I...I have to take the cupcake out of the oven" You shyly tell, taking a quickly step back.  

" Yes, no problem I um…" He started misunderstanding your shyness for regret, preparing already himself to leave.  

"I will come back in a minute, stay there please “ You ask, giving him a shy look back before coming into the kitchen,a smile on your lips. 

"Yes! I... I will wait for you here….that you come back…here " He replied surprise, his mind slowly realizing that you almost shared a kiss. That you would actually let him kiss you.

“ They are perfectly gold and smell divine “ You announce, coming back in the main room where F.Tony was waiting for you, lost in his thoughts. “ Are you okay, you seem really serious right now “ 

Lifting his decided gaze on you, his heart beating like crazy, he didn’t bother to reply getting up off his chair before cupping the side of your face with his left hands, his finger tangling into your hair. Approaching gently his face of yours, building his courage, he suddenly kissed you, passing an arm around your waist. 

The kiss, at first sweet and gentle, becomes quickly passionate. Putting your hands on the back of his neck and his shoulder, trying to keep your balance as your head was starting to deliciously spin. You feel his lips leave yours, making you miss the pressure of his mouth almost immediately. 

“ I really have to go...both of my phone's vibrate...Naird need me...I...I text you...I swear…” F.Tony whispers, taking a step back before kissing you quickly one more time in the lips. “ I’m sorry“

Turning on his heels, passing the door, a mix of emotion bursting inside his chest. He let you in shock in the middle of the bakery, your fingers brushing your lips, your heart and his resonating at the same beat.

—

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[rensstudio]

A love letter

Seeming as though with more time in the world I find myself infested with my own thoughts. Confused by the intricacies of anxiety. I cannot fathom how I got here. To this point in time without having some massive heart attack brought on by stress and grief. But here I am. Here I stand. Most days I roll out from underneath the covers to find myself disappointed in another day arriving. Still struck by grief of being this individual with this existence. Tired not in a "kind of stressed but I'll grab a coffee" sort of way. Rather in the sense that every moment of woken consciousness my mind writhes with contention while a constraint strain of bodily distress never leaves. The room never quite standing still for focus. Fatal thoughts bind my mind. One could wonder where this sort of hellish yet quite common experience could have appeared from. Some otherworldy dimension like a spirit latching onto it's victim from the next life? Or is it as bland and plain as the deafening self loathing that is a chemical imbalance in the brain that could cause such a day to day aggression to one's own esteem? Well I deduce that the only path to the clearing in the woods could be of a somewhat agonizing yet humanizing journey to the realization that to be of this world in this place in time; we are all deformed and damaged from the free will of the masses. And of our own lack of recognition of our consciousness. To be on the endless ride but not experiencing it. Just staring off into the fog instead of seeing the unfolding story narrating our unique passage to every new chapter. Numbed by the dark veil hanging infront of our eyes, obstructing the view of any blossoming accomplishments. But this veil hangs every day. Any person suffering from this chemical imbalance infusion of humanity's flawed evolution will understand my pain when I say I truly don't want to live anymore. But I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to cause the pain that has been put upon another "old soul" like me. Only wishing for a better life and working so hard to find purpose to my name has become an exhaustion. That the troubles in my thoughts have dug my grave prematurely. A grave of indefinite doubt led by the soft spoken abused child that was once my time and place in this universe. But a time and place that haunts me it seems without end. How do I as a woman find a way through the constant images of perfect femininity to the core experience of being? Afflicted with the yearning of a meaningful life. Since my youth I am told the sweet smells of their hair, their luscious curves, endless array of gentleman and other ladies consuming their sexuality, the perfect skin, softest lips and the frail figures and tight muscles are the keys to complete salvation of both dignity and divinity. How shall I ever become of this foreign world? How could this awkward, outspoken, emotional, analytical mess of an imperfect being be of an object of desire and a lady of profound respect? It is impossible. On this pilgrimage of peace and self reflection how have I come to see that my imperfection comes as value and that my dignity can come from a lack of superficial physical beauty...? I guess I came to the conclusion when I realized my exhaustion had stolen the best part of me. That although I saw my dearest losing interest and growing tired of my ways, there was release from this bountiful hell of self loathing and need for desires of affection. I truly walk this path alone. This is it. I will see the edge of this terrifying adventure in isolation. I will not walk alongside another when I meet my final farewell. And so in order to survive the night. The terrors of my inner discord overriding my logical sense of being. I must learn the old mantra and the oldest legend ever told. The path to loving yourself. And with that lesson I can lift the veil ever so slightly to gaze into the sunrise. And the bloodshot red eyes of sleepless and painful weeping nights will be met with the gentle warmth of forgiveness. The only kind you need. Your own. And the damaged people that were supposed to love you and didn't know how can subside as your burden. Every part of your femininity that you had not met will not degrade you as a beautiful woman. It will not erode your self respect. Sadness worn as a mask since childhood can be asserted with kindness and understanding. Hugging the little misshapen lady that never hugged her father and never gave the girl in the mirror a chance to explain herself. Putting her uneasy mind to rest. Holding the hand of the young woman crying in the bathroom at the house party alone and hating herself for the drug induced date rape she endured out of hatred for the longing she had to be loved. Frail and starved to gain any attention for validation of what felt like a meaningless existence. And look at the individual here and now. Forgive her for the days she has fallen apart wondering why she can't feel anything. Why was this lackadaisical manner of treating herself so easy to revert to? Honestly the easiest answer. It is easy not to care for someone you do not love. And that is the problem. And that is why the little girl, the young lady, the blossoming woman, and the tired defeated person standing before you cannot go on without love anymore. Forgive her Rennie. Love every thing that makes you this weird intricate human being that happened to steal a moment in the spotlight of existence. Thank the universe for letting you have a breath. Giving you a heart that keeps loving after all the suffering. Don't let the bastards take away the laughter. You deserve an eternity of it. But it's time to stop binding your thoughts by the shortcomings of societal expectations and the wonders of the better, well adjusted individuals in the world. Stay here. Love her. Be yourself. Sleep well my dearest. .....

[e8luhs]

WOKE UP NEW.

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY

TRACKLIST & ANNOTATIONS UNDER THE CUT! (last edited 03.16.19)

I. ARE YOU SATISFIED? / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

cause it’s my problem if i want to pack up and run away it’s my business if i feel the need to smoke and drink and swear it’s my problem, it’s my problem if i feel the need to hide and it’s my problem if i have no friends and feel i want to die

II. LIFESPAN / VAULTS

oh, you took what you wanted to take and yet you never wanted nothing from me oh, you took what you wanted to take and yet you never wanted nothing from me

III. RAIN IN SOHO / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

no promise sweeter than a blood pact nothing harder to go through than a vanishing act no morning colder than the first frost no friends close than the ones we've lost

IV. LEMON GLOW / BEACH HOUSE

read my fortune too, tell me what you see cross it like a t it's all the same to me this game i play, i do it every day i promise I'll be fine, bear it every time

V. SATELLITE MIND / METRIC

i’m not suicidal i just can't get out of bed i drift into a deep fog lost where i forgot to hold it i can feel you most when i'm alone i can feel your ghost when i'm alone

VI. PEDESTRIAN AT BEST / COURTNEY BARNETT

my internal monologue is saturated analog it's scratched and drifting, i've become attached to the idea it's all a shifting dream, bittersweet philosophy i've got no idea how I even got here i'm resentful, I'm having an existential time crisis want bliss, daylight savings won't fix this mess under-worked and over-sexed, i must express my disinterest the rats are back inside my head, what would freud have said?

VII. BORN TO LOSE / SLEIGH BELLS

took a shot to the head in the back near the crib such a legend now, you were born to lose ‘cause i know that the pain keeps you close to the flame you know everything, you were born to lose

VIII. STICKS AND STONES / THE PIERCES

sticks and stones will break your bones and leave you lying in the mud but you get scared when we're alone, like i might suck your blood and i could tell you a witch's spell but it just might blow your top and you start to run just as I'm having fun and it's awfully hard to stop, it's awfully hard to stop

IX. BLACK OUT DAYS / PHANTOGRAM   

speak in tongues i don't even recognize your face mirror on the wall tell me all the ways to stay away

X. THE OUTSIDER / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

i look myself in the face and whisper "i'm in the wrong place" is there more to lose than gain if i go on my own again? (on my own again)

XI. SPELLBOUND / SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES

following the footsteps of a rag doll dance we are entranced spellbound

XII. ARTIFICIAL NOCTURNE / METRIC

i’m just as fucked up as they say i can't fake the daytime i found an entrance to escape into the dark got false lights for the sun it's an artificial nocturne an outsider's escape for a broken heart

XIII. AUTOCLAVE / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

i am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam and no emotion that's worth having could call my heart its home my heart's an autoclave my heart's an autoclave

XIV. BAD DREAMS / PHANTOGRAM

bad things never neglect me i'm just a scene in a movie bad thoughts never arrest me i'm just a flash in a memory

XV. BEAT (HEALTH, LIFE, AND FIRE) / THAO & THE GET DOWN STAY DOWN

and oh my gunpowder and with emergency i must battle without her she is surely killing me

XVI. EVERY TEAR DISAPPEARS / ST. VINCENT

oh, the more that i struggle i'm deeper in the pit if i can show a hand then i can show a fist call the twenty-first century, tell her “give us a break”

XVII. FIREWORKS / MITSKI

one morning this sadness will fossilize and i will forget how to cry i'll keep going to work and you won't see a change save, perhaps, a slight gray in my eye

XVIII. UNICORN TOLERANCE / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

and when the clouds do clear away get a momentary chance to see the thing i've been trying to beat to death the soft creature that i used to be the better animal i used to be

XIX. GROW UP AND BLOW AWAY / METRIC

if this is the life why does it feel so good to die today? blue to gray grow up and blow away

XX. NUMB / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

i feel numb most of the time lower i get, the higher i'll climb and i will wonder why i got dark only to shine looking for the golden life oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice

XXI. AMERICAN DREAM / EMILY HAINES & THE SOFT SKELETON

grab your clothes and head to the doorway if you dance out, no one complains find the place where you can be boring where you won't need to explain that you're sick in the head, and you wish you were dead or at least instead of sleeping here you prefer your own bed, come on you just suck at self-preservation versus someone else's pain

XXII. WEAR BLACK / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

wear black when it's light outside wear black when there's no light wear black following the left hand path wear black but i get right

XXIII. SPAT OUT SPIT / LADY LAMB

was i born wild? have i been asleep this whole damn time, dreaming up a life? will i awake to find that I'm deep in the woods? and i'm snarling on all fours

XXIV. MEDULLA OBLONGATA / BUKE & GASE

since i left you with these broken fingers broken tongue broken ears from not listening false hopes and happiness in the barrel of my god

XXV. PARIS IS BURNING / ST. VINCENT

they say, “i’m on your side when nobody is, 'cause nobody is come sit right here and sleep while i slip poison in your ear”

XXVI. IN THE CRATERS ON THE MOON / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

if the strain proves too much give up right away if the light hurts your eyes stay in your room all day

XXVII. GETAWAY / MOTHER MOTHER

we gotta get away from it all we gotta get away from everything we've grown to know we gotta get gone like on a holiday, but for longer away from all the silly things that haunt us

XXVIII. YOUR FACE LEFT BEFORE YOU / BUKE & GASE

breaking down my brick wall brain nothing worse than everything to gain too bad it's not my turn you've got witches to burn

XXIX. FUNERAL PYRE / PHANTOGRAM

my funeral pyre my ship of fire as it sinks, i rise all i see is your eyes

XXX. HOLLY / SLEIGH BELLS

wasted all day killing all the capulets!

XXXI. GUILTY / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

oh i’m a guilty one, and know what i have done yeah, i'm a troubled one, and i won't be forgiven

XXXII. KILLER / PHOEBE BRIDGERS

can the killer in me tame the fire in you? is there nothing left to do for us? i am sick of the chase, but i'm hungry for blood and there's nothing i can do

XXXIII. TIPTOE / THE ANTLERS

[instrumental]

XXXIV. GOODBYE, MY DANISH SWEETHEART / MITSKI

now i lay as i study a blank wall would you spare me your voice if i call? ‘cause you waited and watered my heart till it grew you just grew a little smarter too

XXXV. HERMIT THE FROG / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

yeah i feel i’m watered down whenever he's around i put on the crown of clowns and melt slowly to the ground

XXXVI. LAST WORDS OF A SHOOTING STAR / MITSKI

you wouldn't leave till we loved in the morning you'd learned from movies how love ought to be and you'd say you love me and look in my eyes but i know through mine you were looking in yours

XXXVII. 9TH PAWN / OHO

i'm the 9th pawn of the chessboard take it apart, take it along, dark and light squares i'm the thirteenth labor of Hercules give it a try or give it up give it up to me

XXXVIII. HUMPTY / MITSKI

i'll live in the bathtub surrounded by tiles all so square and so steady i will die in their cool, cool arms

XXXIX. I FIRE MYSELF / MARY TIMONY

a demon lured me to his bed where i fell into a poison sleep i dreamed of a river of ants inside me and they were sad and started to bleed

XL. THE POINT OF IT ALL / AMANDA PALMER

“but no one can stare at the wall as good as you, my baby-doll and you're aces for coming along you're almost human, after all and you're learning that just 'cause they call themselves friends doesn't mean they'll call...” they made the comment in jest but you've got the needle i guess that's the point of it all

XLI. SQUARE / MITSKI

your room was square i once noticed from there in your bed, as you slept and i held my breath everything had its own place and i wondered; what space would i take, in the order you kept?

XLII. SAVIOR / ST VINCENT

adore you to the grave and farther honey, i can't be your martyr maybe it's just human nature but honey, i can't be your savior

XLIII. VALLEY OF THE DOLLS / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

in the valley of the dolls, we sleep got a hole inside of me living with identities that do not belong to me in my life, i got this far now i’m ready for the last hoorah dying like a shooting star in the valley

XLIV. STATUETTE / EMILY HAINES & THE SOFT SKELETON

with a feather in your cap another jewel in your crown another notch in your belt you’re the captain at the helm the statuette on your shelf says you’re better than me better than me

XLV. HAVE TO EXPLODE / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

the stage is set, someone's going to do something someone else will regret i speak in smoke signals and you answer in code the fuse will have to run out sometime something here will eventually have to explode, have to explode

XLVI. THE BOX SONG / AMANDA PALMER

and you were sure that you could keep it all off in a tower where there’d always be space and you were sure that if you read it all you would eventually come across your own name

XLVII. I DON’T SMOKE / MITSKI

if you need to be mean, be mean to me i can take it and put it inside of me if your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room you can lean on my arm as you break my heart

XLVIII. ICICLES / THE SCARY JOKES

but as for me, i can only be forgiven if im givin myself up to you on a silver serving tray must i bare myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth, while our lovely company appears so entertained? ah yes, good etiquette demands i remain soft and accessible in the face of my own ending so i will try to be discreet; through my full-blown implosion, i’ll stay golden and retreat into my sweetest fantasy 

XLIX. CODES AND KEYS / DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

when you scream, “love you, see”,   like a child throwing stones at the sky when they fall back to earth as minor chords of major works separate rooms of single life we are one we are alive

L. WASHING MACHINE HEART / MITSKI

baby, though i've closed my eyes i know who you pretend i am i know who you pretend i am

LI. THE KILLING TYPE / AMANDA PALMER

i couldn't kill to get you back and i've officially been asked i couldn't kill to save a life i'd rather a die a peaceful piece of shit-bait shame-filled coward, thanks

LII. HAVE IT OUT / MOTHER MOTHER

i have it out, i have it out, with myself, with myself, i have it out it's gonna get ugly it's gonna get messy it's gonna be world war iii of myself

LIII. CATABOLIC SEED / THE SCARY JOKES

oh i made a silly mistake (what'd you do?) i've given up more than i can take (uh oh!) and left hollows in my wake my structure's compromised but you still batter at all my fault lines i can't run, i can't hide, but you can't say i didn't try

LIV. DOPPELGANGER / THE ANTLERS

and now's he howling, but i'm muted by the horror how he's everywhere and waiting now he's just around the corner

LV. LEFT ALONE / FIONA APPLE

and now i'm hard, too hard to know i don't cry when i'm sad anymore, no no tears calcify in my tummy, fears coincide with the tow how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone?

LVI. HEEL TURN 2 / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

spend too much of my life now trying to play fair throw my better self overboard shoot at him when he comes up for air come unhinged get revenge i don't want to die in here i don't want to die in here

LVII. NOT ABOUT LOVE / FIONA APPLE

conversation once colored by esteem became dialogue as a diagram of a play for blood took a vacation, my palate got clean now i could taste your agenda while you're spitting your cud

LVIII. SEVENTEEN / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

oh, you were embarrassed of me 'cause i used my tongue freely bet you wish i couldn't speak 'cause when i do, you know i tell you why you appear weak

LIX. YOUR WOMAN / WHITE TOWN

now i know your heart, i know your mind, you don't even know you're being unkind, so much for all your high brow marxist ways, just use me up and then you walk away boy, you can't play me that way

LX. DEADBODY / MIYA FOLICK

i need you to know i'm not powerless my strength lies within my gentleness and i'm already hurt so now i don't have to hide and i hold all the heads of my brothers and my sisters high

LXI. YOUR DOG / SOCCER MOMMY

i'm not a prop for you to use when you're lonely or confused i want a love that lets me breathe i've been choking on your leash

LXII. RIPE / SCREAMING FEMALES

i built this game to play and to pretend you are a dark machine and i'm a cog when engines crack, when fuel lines break off i'll save your bits and let your motor rot

LXIII. WINDOW / FIONA APPLE

i was staring out the window the whole time he was talking to me it was a filthy pane of glass i couldn't get a clear view and as he went on and on it wasn't the outside world i could see just the filthy pane that i was looking through

LXIV. BLUE TRASH MATTRESS FIRE / SLEIGH BELLS

i'll do it, i'll jump not for kicks, not for fun but because this shit is too much it's fucking me up enough is enough, enough is enough!

LXV. BITE THE HAND / BOYGENIUS

who do you think you are? who do you think i am? what do you wanna say? what do you think will change? maybe i'm afraid of you maybe i'm afraid of you

LXVI. VENGEANCE / HOT SUGAR

[instrumental]

LXVII. EYES ON FIRE / BLUE FOUNDATION

i'm taking it slow feeding my flame shuffling the cards of your game and just in time, in the right place suddenly i will play my ace

LXVIII. NO CHILDREN / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

and i hope when you think of me years down the line you can't find one good thing to say and i'd hope that if i found the strength to walk out you'd stay the hell out of my way

LXIX. FUCK WAS I / JENNY OWEN YOUNGS

love grows in me like a tumor parasite bent on devouring its host i’m developing my sense of humor till i can laugh at my heart between your teeth till i can laugh at my face beneath your feet

LXX. SERPENTS / SHARON VAN ETTEN

serpents in my mind, i am searching for your crimes everything changes in time you'll stay frozen in time collaging girls, controlling minds you hold the mirror well to everybody else

LXXI. IF YOU FEEL BETTER / EMILY AUTUMN

if you feel better telling me i'm cruel saying i'm unfeeling i don't mind if it's necessary, if it helps you out crying that i'm heartless it's alright

LXXII. THE GOOD THAT WON’T COME OUT / RILO KILEY

i do this thing where i think i'm real sick but i won't go to the doctor to find out about it 'cause they make you stand real still in a real small place as they chartup your insides and put them on display they'd see all of it, all of me, all of it

LXXIII. THE BODY IS A BLADE / JAPANESE BREAKFAST

try your best to slowly withdraw from the darkest impulses of your heart try your best to feel and receive your body is blade that cuts a path from day to day

LXXIV. GET LONELY / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

and i will go downtown, stand in the shadows of the buildings and button up my coat, trying to stay strong, spirit willing and i will come back home, maybe call some friends maybe paint some pictures it all depends and i will get lonely, and gasp for air and look up at the high windows, and see your face up there

LXXV. MOTION SICKNESS / PHOEBE BRIDGERS

i hate you for what you did and i miss you like a little kid i faked it every time but that's alright i can hardly feel anything i hardly feel anything at all

LXXVI. EMPTY / METRIC

sickness was fixing me some coughed out my heart in the last stall now that the damage is done i never miss it at all

LXXVII. TINDER / ORIGAMIBRO

[instrumental]

LXXVIII. REMEMBER MY NAME / MITSKI

'cause i need somebody to remember my name after all that i can do for them is done i need someone to remember me

LXXIX. THE EXECUTION OF ALL THINGS / RILO KILEY

soldiers come quickly, i feel the earth beneath my feet i'm feeling badly, but it's not an attempt at decency and if you're well off, well then i'm happy some for you but i'd rather not celebrate my defeat and humiliation here with you

LXXX. THE THUNDER ANSWERED BACK / Ó

i screamed out, “how'd it get this bad?” and the thunder answered back “if you know not what you lack then you must unturn your back your inside is overcast and you are tethered to your past and it must feel like fucking hell to be a patchwork of yourself a bunch of scraps thrown and sewn around your bones and though you're alone it's holding you too tightly but who are you? from where do you come? what do you believe in? and whom do you love?"

LXXXI. DIE HAPPY / METRIC

this city is thick with common thieves still passing around the same disease who's running this town and why are we? still drinking that kool-aid like it's free

LXXXII. ALL MY PRIDE / BLACK HONEY

all my scars will heal in time now he's gone with all my pride everybody's saying what i need to do but i haven't got a thing to prove, prove to you

LXXXIII. HEADS WILL ROLL / YEAH YEAH YEAHS

glitter on the west streets silver over everything the rivers all wet you're all chrome

LXXXIV. ART OF DOUBT / METRIC

you said "don't let your heart give out" no, i won't let my heart give out you said "don't let your breath run out" no, i won't let my breath run out

LXXXV. BLACK EYE/BURNT THUMB / METRONOMY

[instrumental]

LXXXVI. KLAPP KLAPP / LITTLE DRAGON

somebody from my heart sang i could turn off and never wake up and everything's clear, my breath made like-steam fake feel better fallin' apart, apart, apart, apart, apart

LXXXVII. VANISHING ACT / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

[instrumental]

LXXXVIII. AUBERGINE / LADY LAMB

i was unborn when i was younger i was unborn when i was younger but i was rebuilt when you spoke i awoke when you spoke

LXXXIX. PSYCHIC READER / BAD BAD HATS

when i look at you, i get a good vibration stay on the line until i hit your station i was meant for you so i can be patient, yeah

XC. BETS AGAINST THE VOID / THE SCARY JOKES

the sun is just a copper coin i flip in bets against the void imitating choice 'til i feel good again, i'll keep them in a tin can then i'll have copper coins to spare

XCI. GIRL / THE INTERNET

passion burning, causing rapture of laughter pressure building, falling faster and faster if i told you that you rock my world, i want you around me would you let me call you my girl? (my girlfriend, my girlfriend) i can give you the life you deserve, just say the word and i got you, baby i got you

XCII. BUZZCUT SEASON / LORDE

i remember when your head caught flame it kissed your scalp and caressed your brain well you laughed, baby it's okay it's buzz cut season anyway

XCIII. GEYSER / MITSKI

you're my number one you're the one i want and i've turned down every hand that has beckoned me to come

XCIV. A KISS / THE BLOW

those dances that I did, they really weren't all that fun to do i only did them 'cause they were the only ones i knew they called me player, i just played who i thought i should be i'd still be her if you hadn't come and interrupted me from the kiss

XCV. CRANE YOUR NECK / LADY LAMB

and i placed my palm upon your collarbone and i wished to fall asleep deep in your marrow as gently as a mouse curled up in a ball as gently as a mouse until tomorrow

XCVI. DANCE YRSELF CLEAN (COVER) / MS MR

walking up to me expecting walking up to me expecting words, it happens all the time present company accepted present company, except the worst it happens every night

XCVII. SOFT SOUNDS FROM ANOTHER PLANET / JAPANESE BREAKFAST

in search of a soft sound from another planet in search of a quiet place to lay this to rest striving for goodness while the cruel men win there's no part of me left that can feel or hear it

XCVIII. A BETTER SON/DAUGHTER / RILO KILEY

and sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on and your friends, they sing along and they love you but the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap and it teases you for weeks in its absence but you'll fight and you'll make it through, you'll fake it if you have to and you'll show up for work with a smile and you'll be better and you'll be smarter and more grown up and a better daughter or son, and a real good friend

XCIX. TRAUMA / HOT SUGAR

[instrumental]

C. WOKE UP NEW / THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

the first time i made coffee for just myself, i made too much of it but i drank it all, just 'cause you hate it when i let things go to waste and i wandered through the house like a little boy, lost at the mall and an astronaut could've seen the hunger in my eyes from space

[tinyshe]

“Around the world,  reports are pouring in of people dying shortly after receiving the COVID-19  vaccine. In many cases, they die suddenly within hours of getting the shot. In   others, death occurs within the span of a couple of weeks.

“One notable case  is baseball legend Hank Aaron, 86, who died January 22, 2021, 17 days after  publicly getting vaccinated for COVID-19.1,2 He said at the time that he hoped other Blacks would follow his lead and  get their vaccines too.

“According to news  reports, he died “peacefully in his sleep” and no cause of death had been  announced. Aaron was famous for being the home-run king of baseball, and broke  Babe Ruth’s record when he hit homerun No. 715; he had hit 755 by the time he  retired from the sport.

29 Dead in Norway

“In related news,  Norway has recorded 29 senior citizen deaths in the wake of their vaccination  push.3 Most were over the age of 75. A total of 42,000 Norwegians had by that time  received the vaccine.

“While health  officials initially downplayed any connection to the vaccine, a report in  Bloomberg suggests the Norwegian Medicines Agency are now reconsidering. At the  time of the deaths, the Pfizer  vaccine was the only COVID-19 vaccine available in Norway, so “all deaths  are thus linked to this vaccine,” the agency told Bloomberg.4

“’There are 13 deaths that have been assessed,  and we are aware of another 16 deaths that are currently being assessed,’ the  agency said. All the reported deaths related to ‘elderly people with serious   basic disorders,’ it said.

‘Most people have experienced the expected side  effects of the vaccine, such as nausea and vomiting, fever, local reactions at  the injection site, and worsening of their underlying condition’ …

“The findings have prompted  Norway to suggest that COVID-19 vaccines may be too risky for the very old and  terminally ill, the most cautious statement yet from a European health  authority.

The Norwegian Institute of  Public Health judges that ‘for those with the most severe frailty, even  relatively mild vaccine side effects can have serious consequences. For those  who have a very short remaining life span anyway, the benefit of the vaccine  may be marginal or irrelevant.’”

Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious  Diseases, commented that the deaths have to be “put into context with the  population they occurred in.”5

In other words,  they were old and old people die. It’s hypocrisy at its finest. When seniors  die before vaccination, it’s due to COVID-19 and something must be done to  prevent it, but when they die after vaccination, they die of natural causes and  no preventive action is necessary.

The World Health  Organization added that since there was “no certain connection” of the vaccines  to Norway’s deaths, there is no reason to discontinue giving it to senior  citizens.

Questionable Coincidences

Interestingly,  several areas have reported that deaths are rapidly increasing AFTER  vaccination programs are implemented. The news stories don’t actually say it  straight out, but if you look at dates given, it raises questions. One such  example is what’s happening in Gibraltar at the southern tip of Spain, which  has a population of 34,000.

The area rolled  out its vaccination program on January 9, 2021, using the Pfizer mRNA vaccine.  By January 17, 2021, 5,847  doses had been administered (about 17% of the population), according to a  report by MedicalXpress.6

The curious thing about it is that the area’s  first recorded death from COVID-19 didn’t occur until mid-November 2020. By  January 6, three days before the vaccination program began, the total  COVID-19-related death toll reportedly stood at 10.

Then, by January 17, the total death toll had suddenly skyrocketed   to 45. In other words, 35 people died in the first eight days of the   vaccination program. Most were in their 80s and 90s.

Chief  Minister Fabian Picardo said, "This is now the worst loss of life of  Gibraltarians in over 100 years. Even in war, we have never lost so many in  such a short time."7 None of the deaths are being blamed on the vaccine, however. Instead, they’re loosely  blaming them on the new variant of SARS-CoV-2.

Vaccine Rollout Coincides With Outbreak

Other  areas are also reporting “outbreaks” of COVID-19, resulting in increased death  tolls, after the rollout of vaccinations. Case in point: In Auburn, New York, a COVID-19 outbreak began  December 21, 2020, in a Cayuga County nursing home.8,9 Before this outbreak, no one in the nursing home had died from COVID-19.

The next day,  December 22, they started vaccinating residents and staff. The first death was  reported December 29, 2020. Between December 22, 2020, and January 9, 2021, 193  residents (80%) received the vaccine, as did 113 staff members.

As of January 9,  2021, 137 residents had been infected and 24 had died. Forty-seven staff  members had also tested positive for SARS-CoV-2 and one was on life-support.

Considering we’re  also seeing cases in which healthy young and middle-aged individuals die within  days of receiving the vaccine, it’s not inconceivable that the vaccine might  have something to do with these dramatic rises in deaths among the elderly in  various parts of the world. In fact, I’d expect it.

You can rest  assured, however, that the public health authorities and media will not report these  observations. Anything that conflicts with vaccine safety and effectiveness  will be intentionally and universally buried. This is precisely their modus  operandi of the past three decades, so it’s really up to each individual to do  their own research.

Massive Amounts of Serious Side Effects Emerging

While  the global  vaccine campaign is less than a month old in most places, reports of serious  side effects have already started pouring in. Many are sharing their  personal experiences on social media networks. Disturbingly, many are having   their stories censored as misleading or false. Videos, in particular, tend to  be taken down.

Aside  from sudden death within hours or days,10,11,12,13,14 examples of side effects among survivors of the Pfizer and Moderna mRNA  vaccines include:

Persistent malaise15,16 and extreme exhaustion17

Severe allergic, including anaphylactic reactions18,19,20    

Multisystem inflammatory  syndrome21

Chronic seizures and convulsions22,23

Paralysis,24 including Bell’s Palsy25

To get a feel for what’s really happening, check out prezi.com, where someone has started  collecting stories from various social media posts. It’s a rather shocking  compilation that is well worth sharing with family and friends who are still on  the fence about getting the vaccine.

Many say they  “feel weird” and that they “don’t feel like myself.” Dizziness, racing heart  and extreme high blood pressure seem to be a common complaint, as is severe,  chronic seemingly “unbreakable” headache that does not respond to medication.  Many describe the pain they feel in their body as “being run over by a bus” or  “being beaten with a bat.”

Some report  swollen and painful lymph nodes, severe muscle pain and gastrointestinal  issues. Symptoms mimicking stroke are being reported, even though CT scans show  nothing of concern. One such report is from a 19-year-old girl. Several report  lethal heart attacks claiming the lives of someone they love.

Psychological  effects are also starting to creep in. One woman who is on chemotherapy reports  “mood changes with intermittent periods of elation and mild euphoria.” Bouts of  anxiety, depression, brain fog, confusion and dissociation are also being  reported, as is an inability to sleep.

One person  reports having lost “the voice in my head,” which I suspect is the ability to  hear yourself think. Another reports losing the ability to formulate words  about half an hour after getting the first dose of vaccine, and a third reports  “struggling for lost words.” Loss of taste and/or smell are also being  reported, as well as taste alterations. Several say they have developed a  metallic taste since their vaccination.

One pregnant  woman reported spontaneous rupture of the amniotic sac resulting in premature  delivery. Another woman’s baby was found to have no heartbeat two days after  her vaccination and was delivered stillborn. Several describe effects  suggesting vascular problems, such as skin blotchiness and fingers turning  blue.

We see mass cell activation syndromes. The clinical symptoms are  going to be the inflammatory diseases. We hear everybody calling it ‘long haul  COVID’ — the extreme, profound, crippling fatigue, the inability to produce  energy from your mitochondria. It's not long haul COVID. It's exactly what it  always was — myalgic encephalomyelitis, inflammation of the brain and the   spinal cord. ~ Judy Mikovits Ph.D.

While people are  hoping and praying their side effects will be temporary, a significant portion  say they’re still struggling with the effects one or two weeks after their  shot. Time will tell whether they turn out to be permanent, but considering the  fact that the mRNA vaccines reprogram your DNA, there’s certainly the  possibility that they might be long-lasting.

Side Effects Were Predictable

I recently interviewed cellular and molecular biologist Judy Mikovits, Ph.D., about the mechanics of COVID-19 mRNA  vaccines, which are in actuality gene therapy. They’re not conventional  vaccines. Compare the summary of reported side effects in the section above to  the longer-term side effects she suspects will become commonplace, based on the  mechanics and biological effects of these gene therapy “vaccines”:

Migraines

Involuntary muscle movements,    tics and spasms

Parkinson’s disease

Microvascular disorders

Cancers

Severe pain syndromes

Bladder problems

Kidney disease

Psychological disorders such    as psychosis and autism spectrum

Neurodegenerative diseases

Sleep disorders

Infertility and other    reproductive problems

The underlying causes, according to Mikovits, are  neuroinflammation and dysregulation of the immune system and endocannabinoid  system.

“It's the brain on fire,” she  says. “You're going to see ticks, you're  going to see Parkinsonian disease, you're going to see ALS, you're going to see  things like this developing at extremely rapid rates, and it's inflammation of  the brain.

We see mass cell activation syndromes. The clinical symptoms are going to be the inflammatory diseases. We hear everybody calling it ‘long haul  COVID’ — the extreme, profound, crippling fatigue, the inability to produce  energy from your mitochondria.

It's not long haul COVID. It's exactly what it always was —   myalgic encephalomyelitis, inflammation of the brain and the spinal cord. What  they're intentionally doing is killing off [certain] populations.”

Discrepancies in Moderna’s FDA Report

According to a  recent report by The Defender,26 there are significant discrepancies in the data Moderna submitted to the U.S.  Food and Drug Administration:

“Moderna’s reported death rate for its COVID vaccine, based on   clinical trials, is 5.41 times greater than Pfizer’s. Yet neither are   representative of national death rates — that’s a red flag …

The Moderna vaccine arm  death rate of 0.36 deaths/100K/day) is 5.14 times higher than Pfizer’s (0.07  deaths/100K/day). This large discrepancy deserves notice and requires explanation.

If Moderna’s on-vaccine  death rate is so far below the national death rate and also simultaneously more  than five times greater than Pfizer’s on-vaccine death rate, then Pfizer’s  study sample appears even less representative of the entire population. This, too,  requires due consideration …

When comparing [Moderna’s] study-wide number of  deaths per day per 100K for the study to that of the entire U.S. population  from 2019, I was shocked: the national number of deaths per day per 100K is  2.44.

Moderna’s screening process and exclusion  criteria in the trial led to evidence that the general population is dying at a  rate 6.3 times greater than the death rate in the Moderna trial — which means   the Moderna study, including its estimated efficacy rate and the vaccine’s  alleged safety profile — cannot possibly be relevant to most of the U.S.  population.

The super-healthy cohorts studied by Moderna are  in no way representative of the U.S. population. Most deaths from COVID-19   involve pre-existing health conditions of the types excluded from both Pfizer  and Moderna trials …

Those enrolling in the post-market surveillance  studies deserve to know the abject absence of any relevant information on  efficacy and risk for them. In their zeal to help humanity, or to help  themselves, these people may very well be walking into a situation that will  cause autoimmunity due to pathogenic priming,  potentially leading to disease enhancement should they become infected  following vaccination.”

Why Is Moderna’s Gene Therapy Deadlier Than Pfizer’s?

What might  account for Moderna’s gene therapy “vaccine” causing more than five times more  deaths than Pfizer’s? One possibility raised in The Defender’s article is that  they failed to “screen out unsafe epitopes to  reduce autoimmunity due to homology between parts of the viral protein and the  human proteome.”

According to a  2020 paper27 in the Journal of Translational Autoimmunity, “Pathogenic priming likely  contributes to serious and critical illness and mortality in COVID-19 via  autoimmunity,” noting that the same may apply post-vaccination.

As  explained in this paper, all but one of SARS-CoV-2 immunogenic epitopes are  similar to human proteins. Epitopes28 are sites on the virus that allow antibodies or cell receptors in your immune  system to recognize it.

This  is why epitopes are also referred to as “antigenic determinants,” as they are  the parts that are recognized by an antibody, B-cell receptor or T-cell  receptor. Most antigens — substances that bind specifically to an antibody or a  T-cell receptor — have several different epitopes, which allow it to be  recognized by several different antibodies.

According to the author, some epitopes can cause “autoimmunological pathogenic  priming due to prior infection or following exposure to SARS-CoV-2 … following  vaccination.”

In  other words, if you’ve had the infection once, and get reinfected (either by  SARS-CoV-2 or a sufficiently similar coronavirus), the second bout has a great  potential to be more severe than the first. Similarly, if you get vaccinated  and are then infected with SARS-CoV-2, your infection may be more severe than  had you not been vaccinated.

For  this reason, “these epitopes should be excluded from vaccines under development  to minimize autoimmunity due to risk of pathogenic priming,” the paper warns.  The abstract lays out the basics of the pathogenic priming process.29 As noted in The Defender:30

"Thus, concern over vaccine-induced pathogenic priming is not   zero, but it may be less than COVID-19  vaccines that  use more than one SARS-CoV-2 protein. However, the hyper-focused IgG response  to the fewer antigens could cause hyperimmunization, a condition considered   ripe for off-target autoimmunity attacks."

Are Lethal Effects Being Hidden?

The Defender  points out that vaccine trials never use inert placebos. Instead, many use  another vaccine. By doing so, they effectively hide side effects. In the case  of Moderna, a total of 13 people died in the trial, seven in the vaccine group  and eight in the placebo group. One severe adverse event in the placebo group,  however, was relabeled as a death, and one death in the vaccine group was   relabeled as a severe adverse event.

In the vaccine  group, deaths were listed as cardio-respiratory   arrest, heart attack, multisystem organ failure, head injury and suicide. None of the deaths were  linked to the vaccine.

However, as noted in The Defender, heart attacks  can involve autoimmunity and have been seen in post-vaccinations before.   Multisystem organ failure is also “consistent with autoimmunity against ubiquitously expressed proteins as a result of vaccination.”

“The suicide cannot be ruled  out as not due the vaccine, either,” The Defender writes, noting it could be  related to “autoimmunity against oxytocin or serotonin receptors,” which might  result in “devastating depression.”

Indeed, prezi.com includes a number of reports of people saying  they’ve experienced anxiety and depression following their vaccination.  Depression is also a possible outcome of neuroinflammation, as noted by  Mikovits.

Do a Risk-Benefit Analysis Before Making Up Your Mind

While both Pfizer and Moderna report low rates of side effects — Moderna’s  being just 0.5% — the rates of side effects in the real world appear to be  extraordinarily high. Data are still hard to come by, but if we go by initial  data reported by the U.S.  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention,31 we end up with a side effect rate in the real world of 2.79%.

By December 18, 2020, 112,807  Americans had received their first dose of COVID-19 vaccine. Of those, 3,150  suffered one or more “health impact events,” defined as being “unable to  perform normal daily activities, unable to work, required care from doctor or  health care professional.” If you divide the number of reported side effects  with the number that received the vaccine, you get a side effect rate of 2.79%.

If you then extrapolate that to  the total U.S. population of 328.2 million, we may be looking at 9,156,780  Americans suffering vaccine injuries if everyone gets vaccinated.

[to see full article with tables/graphs and other information not picked up in a cut and paste please go here]

[stone-man-warrior]

December 10, 2020: 3:15 pm:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawman_theory

If you are learning about modern day terror pirates, Russian Mother of all Hoaxes and how to zoom around to see in with Cracker Jack Secret Decoder Ring w/Way-Back Machine Attachment, Global Domination Under the Cross, and Crewed Oil, then, you need to know the legend of the Strawman.

You need to go into the Russian Mother Hoax and fly around for this.

There is a Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz, hates fire, won‘t go near a Bar-b-Que, bonfire, or ride a motorcycle without a spark arrrrrestor on it. He says he has no brains. Seems pretty smart to me, knows about fire science.

There is other kinds of Strawman inside the Russian Fractal of Lies.

One is the guy that is said to have access to some guns, if you need a gun, are not willing to go near the gun store, like a bar-b-que and a Scarecrow, then, you go see the Strawman, who is like a Martinizer at a Chinese Laundry, before the Chinaman was killed there, or, like a Amp Guru, can wave a magic wand, put a blessing, there could be some smoke, some guitar players could disappear when that happens. So, Gun Strawman is an important guy in the Russian Fractal Hoax Mother. Multi-Purpose, full service special cleaners, just go get a Big-Gulp, and a straw, at the craps table. “new shooter, comin‘ out!”

Then, there is that other, mysterious Strawman that I linked there.

That, is the Wikipedia Page is the Gnosis Version. It’s all sprinkled with bullshit, lies, deception, is like a treasure map for pirates, has secret messages for guidance in dense fog. There is way too much bullshit at the Wiki, so, we go this other way, towards the secret truth:

I don’t have all of the answers. I have some.

So, you get hauled into a courtroom somewhere, for some reason, could be a parking ticket you have to pay, or, could be car insurance you have to show, or some other small thing where you need to talk to the Courthouse Martinizer Dry Cleaner Amp Guru Power Circuit Mother of all Knowledge friendly Canadian Representative there at the front counter of the County Court House & Shipyard.

There, they show you some paper with your name on it. The reason you went there is explained in a receipt of some paper. The Court Magistrate Martian shows that your name is written in all CAPITAL LETTERS.

HEYSUES Q. CITIZEN

For instance.

“Jesus... is that my name? All Caps?” you say.

“Yes. That is your name. All Caps.” says the Magistrate Docking Clerk.

They explain:

“When you come to the courthouse, and then, after that, forever, you are hereby under Maritime Law, “Three Miles Out to See” they say. Your name is forever to be etched in all capital letters, even when you see it in other ways, it’s still always going to be all capital letters, because you came to the courthouse today, that’s why. So, that means that your name, as a Maritime Courthouse Subject, is henceforth a Strawman, your real ID is always Capitalized, for evermore, and you are under Maritime Law. So, pay your parking ticket at the cash register on the Starboard Side, and show your Auto Insurance Card to the people at the Port Side Shipping Lane as you exit the building”

Basically, that is “The Strawman”. All of that Wikipedia, is bullshit Gnosis they used to keep the truth under the plimsoll, out of view.

3:53 pm.

=============================

4:07 pm:

https://robertkeeley.com/

Bob Keeley. Comes from the email promotions at Hollywood Terror Choir Command HQ.

He is laying down some tracks here, there is some talk about the Strawman right there in that SYNTH-1, second from left.

Let’s have a look.

Let’s see... three areas, grey, blue, red... some knobs, different size ones... two kinds of switches... a BFK in the middle. (”Big Fucking Knife”, is also a Burger King Menu Item, subliminally... “Let’s go get a BFK, I’m hungry!)

The stuff is all arranged there nice and neat, looks cool, I want one.

There is something about those buttons there at the bottom in red... Idunno what it is, but looks kinda weird somehow, ... hmmmmmm... we can figure that out later.

Stuff like that, is often arranged with pleasing to the eye proven means developed by advertising experts long ago, helps to sell products when they look good, and the idea is mostly for the ad that is in the newspaper or catalogue for the products, is called CRAP.

If it looks like CRAP, it’s good, sell it.

C ontrast

R epetition

A lignment

P roximity

CRAP, those are the rules of advertising. Works with warfare too.

So, those other three items are much easier to see the CRAP than the SYNTH-1 is from Bob Keeley, but, the CRAP is there. There is one place where the CRAP is not there, and that is with those two buttons on the bottom in red with the BFK between.

Let’s look at the other parts of the thing first.

Three triangle arranged knobs in a field of grey, with a bigger knob to the upper right in a blue box. Some houses in a neighborhood with a 7-11 on the corner. The houses are tract houses, all the same. The people go to the corner store, get too much good stuff, and a Big Gulp, then go back home.

Those guys on the bottom in red though... they are right there, looks kinda weird, like they are baby sitting the neighborhood.

Maybe that big knob on the corner is the courthouse, and those knobs in the grey are the whole county, all arranged in a triangle of three-ness.

If so, who are the guys in the red zone? They are at the Burger King, have sharp stuff, lots of electronics there, “Wave Generator”, it says. (have you been to the 7th Street BK?. Kiersten Nielson of DHS was killed in defense there. Don’t go there without first understanding all about Bob Keeley.)

Those two buttons in the red area, one is round, port holes are round. That round one is the kind you have to stomp on hard to make it switch, is indestructible, made special for stomping on, has two positions.

That other one, has three positions, is kinda whimpy, easy to roll over, it’s called a Rocker Switch, is rectangle shape, looks like a smart phone video on the vertical setting, sort of, or Picture Window w/three different ways to let the air in, shows waves, air waves, sound waves, electronic current waves, ocean waves, people in the stands at a football game doing “The Wave”... (sorry, fractal decoder glytch happened, too many waves)

The red is below the Plimsoll.

Ok, now we have some sheets to the wind in the Fractal Viewer.

Bob Fuller, Fulltone. He makes stuff that is absolutely indestructible. There is no junk at the Fultone shop, it’s all built like a battleship. Robert Fuller is that round button in red.

Even looks like a battleship at the Fulltone shop, Venice/Santa Monica area of the Pacific Coast.

https://www.fulltone.com/

You need to go there, take a ride in a stealth dingy around there, quietly, Bob’s have the best electronics, swords, RADAR, SONAR, and the took over Raytheon in Colorado a long time ago, so, they have more and better equipment than does the US Military there, I am not exaggerating. The people from that part of the Russian Hoax Fractal Mother invented Raytheon, way back in the early 1970′s when Raytheon was just a maker of SONAR fish finders for fishermen, and somehow that invention was souled to the US Defense Department, probobly when Ronnie Reagan (Raygun) became US President, he was SAG President at the time he was “Elected”.

Conclusion:

The SYNTH-1 is a Aircraft Carrier, the three knobs in grey are Flying V’s on the flight deck. That other bigger knob in blue is the Flight Control Tower. Those buttons on the bottom in red, are distributing Chum into the water. The Chum is the US Navy after those two Bob’s w/BFK got to them.

Those other three items in the Keeley ad are supporting members for the shipping and warfare concert, are like USO shows featuring Bob Hope aboard ship for entertaining the US Crew during war-time.

The brought with them:

Pretty Girls

Coffee Maker

Ammonium nitrite

Lots of electronic equipment, cameras, recording gear, boxes to carry all of that, helicopters were provided for transportation to and from the boats.

The Bob Hope Traveling US Takeover Show was given special protective crew assigned to them for USO shows.

This part of the Fractal Hoax of Russian Lies is deep.

It goes to HWY 111 in Palm Springs to a house with a pool that is also a fish aquarium for big fish in the California desert. More available w/personal interview please from nsa or other Global Security persons.

NOT FOR HIRE. FOR FREE.

5:17 pm.

========================================

5:35 pm:

I have some glue for sticking together puzzle parts from Burger King to Dairy Queen, it’s Royal Glue, very expensive HMS Glue.

You go inside either of those two places, and the same condition can be seen.

Walk through the door, look to the left. There are some booths there by the big window. One of the most central of those booths, at either place, is going to have some stuff on the table, but there is no one there, just some personal items on a table.

no matter who you are, that is going to be your stuff after they kill you there. Part of the set-up is some personal items on a table at the Royal Take-Away.

I have seen many ways that stuff is arranged and used. There are too many ways, and can always change to suit the HMS Hamburger.

At Burger King, the items are almost always electronic items, a computer lap-top opened up and running is there on the table, maybe some reading glasses, and a smart phone on a small stand like a little tiny tripod for smart phone video conference is there on that table. You go in, make your order, there is always confusion, they don’t hear what you said, explain you can have super size, or something for free, or some problem is happening with the Burger King Order Taker’s Electronic Headset, one that has three blinking lights on the wrap-around microphone part, red, green, more red color lights on it, all blinking near that representatives mouth. That is when two thugs come into the store there, as you are mesmerized by the blinking lights, and are confused about why is the order taker talking to the people in the Drive Through when you are inside the store at the front counter.

The people who came in behind are releasing a lot of nitrous gas, you see them, hear that that are talking about you as if they know who you are, and they call you by name like a old friend just happened to come in there as you are ordering. That’s when the front counter person w/blinking mouthpiece shoots the .25 custom made gun. The people behind who say they know you, are there to offer some “help” first aid in the parking where there is a Pontiac Catalina 1968 V-8 400 Big Block 4 door waiting.

That is when all of that stuff on the table is going to be your stuff. no one knows what the heck is on that hard drive or in that phone, as you disappear into the parking with your new friends.

Same thing at Dairy Queen. The difference is that the items are not electronics on the table, it’s a motorcycle helmet, and there is a Green Harley Davidson out front, has a Tractor Seat Saddle, is for a “Loaner”, no room for female on the Bitch Seat at the Dairy Queen.

I don‘t go to the Dairy Queen very often, just enough to pick up some Royal HMS Glue to put hear in noble size globs.

I do know more about the Burger King though, sometimes, I just go there knowing that someone has to do some national security, so, I go there, to do that... all I need to do, is light a Bic Lighter, then go home and have a Whopper.

Please send help.

Please send US Military.

Bring your own Hospital

Please send some medical services to Oregon.

no help has come. There are no signs of helpful people to be found anywhere.

=============================

6:31 pm:

By the way, the Department of Motor Vehicle Attack Scenario is still open ended, has not matured or come to fruition as of today, but there is still much time for that, and, I’m reminded of the DMV and it’s Big Sister, DOT, every time I need to go somewhere.

Reminder: I renewed my vehicle registration tags online at the DMV renewal web page about two months ago, they sent a piece of 8.5 x 11 inch paper with some vehicle information on it, and instructions about where to stick it, on the car, with some tape.

There are no provisions for tinted windows, so, that is part of the “Custom Tailoring Penguin Tuxedo” terror. I have a no provisions car, came that way from the Russian Hoax Fractal Factory when they killed my mom in 2010.

The information, as you may recall, is that the DMV ran out of proper, license plate tags, and, they explain, the paper is to be applied to the car per instructions, there is a expiration date for the replacement temporary paper that is different from the exportation date of the tags that I paid more than $100 for, but did not get yet. The expiration date difference can be Fractal RUsian Hoax Mother Zoomed over to the Covfefe Trump terror, when “Fe - Fe = 0 Fe”, and the 0 is silent. Bad news to see that on there like that. It’s presidential Terror Comm, where the “math makes a difference”, and is “silent but deadly” because that is the goal of DOT, “dead motorists can‘t make exhaust noise”.

The set-up includes Fractal Russian Hoax for making bait to lure and capture some real police, who were told that I drive a pick-up truck with no tags on it. The thing about that, is that I do have a truck but am not using that as of this writing, and for quite some time, but can only afford to insure one vehicle at a time. Sometimes, I insure and drive the truck, sometimes a car. The registration for both, I always keep fresh with online registration because there is no way to survive a physical visit to the DMV anymore, and there are special dead-lines for using online registration, so, I just pay registration for both online all of the time so that I won‘t have to become V-8 at the DMV because of the dead-line for waiting too long made me have to go in person there to the DMV.

The tags come in the mail, if they don‘t run out of them, but, I don’t put the tags on the vehicle that I am not insuring to help keep the Three Boys Towing terror away, they steal registered licensed cars & trucks first, then the expired tags ones later on after the all of the registered ones all are stolen first. It’s like they do with the killing the disabled and elderly people first, because those people have some things like Social Security income and Medicare insurance that is useful to the terror army right away. The income and Medicare is like a fresh set of tags on a good car like that, just get in and drive it like you stole it.

But, the tags are tucked safely away, in a complicated filing system I use for terror information, very complex and sophisticated system.

So, real police are told that I sold the truck tags to someone else, just because they are paid for, but are not on the truck. It’s not insured, can‘t afford to insure both, so, that’s why, foools.

now, they are waiting to see if I am going to put the truck tags, that some think I sold and don‘t have, onto the car, because that paper replacement “Stick it where?” thing came for the car, and looks fake.

If I call DMV, the message recording always says the wait time is about 45 minutes for someone to answer, they are experiencing heavy call volumes, they say. That wait time is more time than a phone battery will last, so, you have to stay tethered to a battery charger for that call, if you want to ask about when the real tags might be sent to the house, so that I could  be ready to get them from the mailbox before Clyde Baum does. He is famous for stealing my mail, and has a lot of expensive stolen cars & trucks that all need fresh registration tags so he can drive them.

I don‘t have my tags yet. They ran out of tags at the DMV.

Meanwhile, the DOT with help from a armada of HMS Eleanor Rigby Pirates from l O Downing Street are murdering many hundreds of thousands of US Citizens while the real police are chasing around some tags and worried about if I drive a pick-up truck or a passenger car.

7:02 pm.

================

Reminder:

Google is a major part of the Global terror take-over. They have all of the very best computer engineers. Many of the engineers are kidnapped people who have the kinds of skills that the Vatican needs, so, they are chained up to a server in Hillary Clinton‘s basement, or equivalent, and, they have taken this account, all 750 or something like that, entries here, and made a searchable database of the information, all is cross-referenced to pertinent other information contained within here, and, also, is cross referenced to a Russian Mother Hoax Version of lies that were already told about the existence of this account, to help them keep the lies all in a line that is workable for making more lies and capturing federal officers at the same time.

As I said before, those officers also need to make a similar searchable database from the raw information that this account contains. But first, you are going to need some computer engineers, those guys are like what happened at nasa to the rocket scientists, they were tracked down, captured, and are at Space X and Space Force terror cells now, in Hillary’s Server network. So go find some of them, to make a database, searchable, like Google already did.

That bearded freind over at the Monroe’s I have been reporting a little bit about, is a Google Computer Engineer from Bad Guy Auto at Three Pines & Russell roads, so, they are like Johnny on the Spot when I write new entries.

Also, Gnosis sometimes is a giant DELETE button.

Don’t discard or discount the truth, that Google+ was a social media platform of many millions of peoples accounts. The whole fucking thing was completely erased just because of what I had written down there at the time.

Google+ was Deleted because of the truth I wrote threatens not only the existance of Google, but threatens the existance of Great Britain and the Vatican if the information were used to stop the terror those people are advancing towards Global Domination and complete and utter control of everyone and everything that will remain on earth after they are done with the Cleansing part of the slaughter.

Google+ deleted all of the information contained within many millions of accounts. I am sure there was much eye-witness of terror written down besides :mine.

8:42 pm.

[kerahlekung]

Dilemma Muafakat Nasional Atau Pakatan Nasional...

Dilemma Muafakat Nasional Atau Pakatan Nasional....

1. Sehari menjelang mesyuarat Majlis Tertinggi Umno (7/2/20) yang dikatakan menjadi penentu halatuju, samada Umno akan terus mengukuh Muafakat Nasional (MN) atau bersama Tun Mahathir membentuk Pakatan Nasional (PN). 2. Umno dan Pas sebenarnya berada dalam dillemma yang mahakarma kerana telah terhidang di depan mata, dua pilihan yang memberi impak bertentangan. Kekal MN atau Gerak PN? 3. Kekal haluan bersama MN, Umno dan Pas mempunyai peluang cerah untuk memenangi PRU15. Namun syarat asasnya ialah, Tun Mahathir mesti kekal sebagai Perdana Menteri hingga habis penggal. Jika DSAI jadi PM8 Mei ini, impian Umno dan PAS untuk menang PRU15 menjadi sangat kabur. 4. Pilihan kedua ialah, Umno dan PAS bersama membentuk kerajaan segera PN acuan Tun Mahathir. Ya mereka mungkin cukup bilangan, tetapi haluan ini sangat berisiko yang boleh menyebabkan impian menang PRU-15 berkecai. 5. Seyogia diingatkan, bebanan paling besar yang ditanggung oleh PH selama menjadi kerajaan hari ini ialah keberadaan Tun Mahathir. Kebencian rakyat akan berganda apabila pengkhianatan demokrasi berlaku, kerajaan berubah tanpa pilihanraya, negara tidak stabil, menteri bertukar begitu menyusahkan, polisi hilang arah, pelabur kekal bungkam, ekonomi makin hancur dan rakyat terus tersepit. Ada berani?

6. Apa yang boleh kalian jangkakan bila Tun Mahathir bergabung dengan Umno, disulami parti Pas yang kita kenali begitu... rakus. Gabungan ini umpama menang belum tentu, kalah dalam tangan. 7. Inilah dillemma Umno dan Pas. Karma akan mengekori mereka jika memilih untuk membentuk kerajaan segera bersama Tun Mahathir. Jika bersabar hingga PRU-15, dikhuatiri Anwar Ibrahim pula akan menghantui mereka apabila menjadi Perdana Menteri yang dilengkapi pakej islamik. 8. Barang diingat, Tun Mahathir merupakan PM sementara yang menghampiri tarikh luput, sedangkan Anwar Ibrahim adalah Perdana Menteri dalam penantian yang telah sah dipatri hitam putih perjanjian. Well signed by Tun Mahathir himself.  9. Justeru itu, ahli politik yang bijak tidak akan cenderung kepada kebasian dan keluputan kuasa, tetapi memilih jalan yang lebih selamat, kurang risiko dan terjamin. Tun Mahathir tidak mudah mendapat 'numbers', hanya perang saraf untuk menjerat Presiden-Presiden Pakatan Harapan. 10. Saya kira di atas faktor ini, ramai yang sedia bersama Anwar Ibrahim, pemegang tampuk masa depan negara dan juga masa depan mereka selaku ahli politik yang cerdik. 11. Menyedari hakikat ini, masing-masing dari Umno dan Pas sudah bersuara menghela nafas kecewa. Tok Mat kecewa sambil beri amaran kepada Zahid yang serba haloba. Najib terus menyindir, takut ditinggalkan. Hadi Awang juga bernada kecewa, nak masuk ikut pintu depan katanya. Pakatan Nasional acuan Tun Mahathir temui jalan gagal.

12. Maka jalan terbaik untuk mereka kekal survival (tetapi semakin tidak relevan)ialah dengan mengusulkan undi percaya di Parlimen. Dengan undi percaya ini, mereka tidak terpalit kebusukkan Tun Mahathir secara terus. Sipi-sipi sahaja. 13. Isyarat telah ditiup kepada Umno dan Pas dalam kenyataan Tun Mahathir sebentar tadi kepada wartawan "Jika nak kerjasama, sokonglah saya di parlimen". Dalam bahasa mudah ia bermaksud, undilah Tun untuk kekal PM sampai PRU-15, do we have a deal? 14. Akhir kalam, usul undi percaya tidak akan dilepaskan oleh speaker dewan. Malah hanya pembangkang sahaja yang mahu Tun Mahathir kekal, Amanah, DAP dan Warisan sudah pasti mengelak risiko. Kesimpulannya, Tun Mahathir akan gagal untuk kekal berkuasa. 15. DAP dan Amanah akan solid bersama Anwar, begitu juga dengan Warisan dan GPS yang secara tradisinya akan solid kepada kerajaan yang sah pada demokrasi. Noktah. 16. Azmin, Zuraidah dan kartelnya bagaimana? Ohh mereka ini sangat tidak penting. Mereka cuma watak picisan ejen Tun Mahathir saja, langsung tiada plot dalam tulisan ini. Mereka akan mereput ditelan kegemilangan Anwar Ibrahim sebagai PM ke-8, Perdana Menteri Rakyat. - Edy Noor Reduan

Angan-Angan Mat Jenin...

Hari ini 7hb Feb 2020 dan kiranya MT UMNO akan berbincang tentang kerajaan pintu belakang. Yang peliknya puak2 yang bising pasal backdoor deal ini semua yang ada rangka dalam almari. Dari Fadhli Shaari yang dengan yakin kata PAS boleh kumpul 112 kerusi walaupun tiada asas, menulis sambil menghisap barang terlarang memang mengasyikan, ianya lebih kepada claim mereka dulu yang nak jadi king maker dengan bertanding 158 kerusi walaupun undi popular hanya 12%. Lepas itu komen dari Taki yang kata 18 kerusi MP PAS bersiap-siaga untuk di lacurkan demi menyokong Tun memerintah sampai habis penggal. Tak ada satu orang pun dari MP PAS yang menafikan bahawa mereka tidak bersetuju dengan "Pakatan Nasional", maknanya mereka ini sama taraf dengan pekerja tubuh di lorong haji taib. Di pihak UMNO pula lobakman dah start bising dan release rakaman suara Zahid yang hendak bersama dengan PN. Yang ada sarjana kedoktoran Asyraf Wajdi pun sibuk juga buat poll tanya bersetuju ke tidak UMNO bersama dengan PN, habis berkicap dia kena rembat dengan machai tegar UMNO. Di pihak bersatu tak ada yang berbunyi kecuali Rahim Thambi Chik; as usual yang sokong PN ini semua ada political baggage. Mungkin pimpinan bersatu yang lain semua hendak play safe sebab sekarang tengah pemilihan parti? Dah di pihak kartel pun kita tahu mereka ada rangka di dalam almari yang mana kes lama di tutup sebab kekurangan bukti. Kalau ada kes baharu bila-bila masa sahaja boleh di buka. The thing is, kita kena buat hipothesis kalau betul-betul Pakatan Nasional terjadi, apa yang jadi laba dan apa yang jadi rugi. Paling kelakar ialah saya terbaca komen penyokong bersatu yang dah start panggil najib bossku dan dah start buat truce siap nak backup Najib lagi. Birds of feathers la katakan. - Mohd Mukhlis Mohd Sharif

Sorry! Rosmah, You Can’t Use “Life Threatening” 

Neck Pain Drama To Escape Prison...

When her husband, former Prime Minister Najib Razak, was walking the corridors of power from 2009 to 2018, she had never once experienced any major health problem. Rosmah Mansor, self-proclaimed FLOM (First Lady of Malaysia), did not even suffer any minor injury or pain, let alone hospitalised for life threatening diseases. At least, there was no such record in the Google database. On the contrary, Rosmah was extremely healthy for a woman of her obese status. From fashion festivals to badminton games, she would never miss them. Yes, Auntie Rosie loved showing off her skill at badminton court. The legend has it that had Rosmah not married Najib, she would become the woman version of badminton champion Lee Chong Wei (damn you Najib). Rosmah’s influence was so magnificent that former World No. 1 shuttler Lee Chong Wei once revealed that to boost his morale, he actually telephoned the premier’s wife – before and after every match – at the All-England tournament in Birmingham where he eventually won the singles title. Auntie Rosie was even given the honour seated in between Lee and his bride during their wedding. The privilege to rub shoulders and be photographed with celebrities ended on May 9, 2018, when Najib lost the general election. Chong Wei no longer calls Rosmah for inspiration and motivation. The demands for her appearance at fashion shows also came to a sudden halt. She now spends most of her time seeking black magic to help her husband and herself, as both face dozens of criminal charges. Even then, before the first day of her corruption trial, Rosmah was as healthy as a horse. Suddenly, she fell sick on Monday (3 Feb), the day she was supposed to turn up at the High Court. For the first time in decades, the Imelda Marcos of Malaysia was admitted to a private hospital – KPJ Ampang Puteri Hospital – for severe neck and back pain. It was so severe that her lawyer claimed it was life threatening. Her hotshot lawyer Jagjit Singh told the court that his clients was suffering from “Chronic Adrenal Crisis, Cervical Spondylosis and Osteoarthritis” – sophisticated medical terms for common neck and back pain. Chronic adrenal is fatigue experienced by most people who had some stressful days hence the symptoms of tiredness, brain fog and lack of motivation.

Rosmah Mansor Plays Badminton

In reality, cervical spondylosis is extremely common. This condition that most often causes pain and stiffness in the neck affected more than 85% of people over the age of 60 (Rosmah is 68 years old). Osteoarthritis, on the other hand, is the most common form of arthritis – affecting millions of people worldwide. Like an old car, these are “age-related” wear-and-tear problems. For less than RM20, lawyer Jagjit Singh could visit a Guardian pharmacy and buy “Ammeltz Yoko-Yoko” plasters or cream for his client’s so-called life threatening neck and back pain. Rosmah can be assured of its quality and effectiveness because the medicine were 100% made and formulated in Japan to tackle bruises, joint pain, lower back pain, muscle strains, sprains and shoulder stiffness and whatnot. Jagjit Singh appeared to be mocking and insulting High Court Judge Mohamed Zaini Mazlan  when the attorney referred the judge to a Google website page about how Rosmah’s pain could be life threatening. The lawyer argued that Rosmah had been given an MC (Medical Chit) hence she was entitled to six days medical leave. Clearly, Jagjit Singh, like Najib’s hotshot lawyer Shafee Abdullah, was assisting the drama queen Rosmah with a silly sickness stunt in a last-minute attempt to avoid attending her corruption trial. However, senior deputy public prosecutor Gopal Sri Ram had had enough of the cheap family drama and urged the judge to revoke Rosmah’s bail and throw her in prison to ensure her attendance. Interestingly, while Najib confirmed Rosmah was being hospitalised, he refused to disclose the reason his beloved wife had to be admitted. An incredible skilful liar who had used MC multiple times to drag his own corruption trial, perhaps Najib was afraid he might burst into laughter if he were to tell journalists that his wife’s conditions were as lethal as claimed by his family’s lawyers. A former Federal Court judge, Gopal Sri Ram said – “This is unacceptable at all. The diagnosis written in the doctor’s report such as dizziness and body pain are among the things I am suffering from too.” Thanks to Gopal’s fierce objections, Justice Zaini ordered the trial to proceed today (5 Feb) and even offered Rosmah the privilege to come in a wheelchair.

But when Rosmah emerged this morning, she could suddenly walk without any need for a wheelchair. Auntie Rosie was actually able to walk unaided into the Kuala Lumpur Courts Complex, despite the claims that she was bedridden due to the health crisis. Of course, her arrival was followed by an ambulance just to make the drama more believable. It was both amazing and entertaining to read that Rosmah was hit by critical neck and back  pain after she’s powerless now, but was fabulously healthy when her husband was the most powerful man prior to May 2018. She was often seen like a Christmas tree decorated with tonnes of jewellery including diamond necklaces, earrings, rings, bracelets and whatnot, not to mention Hermes Birkin handbags. On the night of May 17, 2018, police raided three luxury Pavilion Residences condominiums in Kuala Lumpur owned by Najib Razak’s children. Besides RM117 million cash and RM1 billion worth of 12,000 pieces of jewellery, an eye-popping 567 handbags consisted of luxury handbags from 37 different designers – including Chanel, Prada, Hermes and ultra-luxury Bijan – were confiscated. It’s not hard to understand why Auntie Rosie had resorted to all types of gimmicks to avoid her trial. Unlike her husband’s 1MDB corruption and money laundering scheme which involved three continents, Rosmah’s corruption was quite straight forward. She had allegedly solicited for herself bribes to the tune of RM187.5 million from Jepak Holdings Sdn Bhd. The money was kickbacks for helping Jepak Holdings obtain a RM1.25 billion project, known as Project Bersepadu Sistem Solar Photovoltaic (PV) Hibrid. The project involved installation of solar hybrid systems and for the maintenance and operation of diesel generators for 369 rural schools in Sarawak. Initially, the company failed to obtain the project directly from the Ministry of Education. The company then approached Rizal Mansor, Rosmah’s former aide, who then arranged a private meeting between Rosmah with Saidi Abang Samsudin, the managing director and majority shareholder of Jepak Holdings. The meeting took place between January and April 2016 and it was held in the privacy of Najib and Rosmah’s private residence at Jalan Langgak Duta, Kuala Lumpur.

Auntie Rosie initially wanted RM200 million kickbacks (17% of the project value) under the pretext of a “political donation”. However, the rate was reduced to 15% (RM187.5 million) on Rizal’s advise. Jepak Holdings was eventually awarded a three-year contract. In January 2017, Najib personally oversaw the contract awarded to Jepak Holdings, leading to the official execution in on June 20, 2017. But the first payment of bribes – RM5 million – was already made earlier on Dec 20, 2016, and the cash was delivered to Rosmah at her official residence in Putrajaya. The second payment of RM1.5 million cash was personally delivered by Jepak Holdings MD Saidi to Auntie Rosie at her private Langgak Duta home on Sept 7, 2017. However, none of the 369 rural schools in Sarawak receive any electricity. A bank officer confirmed at the High Court today that Saidi Abang Samsudin had indeed withdrawn RM6.5 million in cash through two cheques (RM5 million on Dec 20, 2016, and RM1.5 million on Sept 7, 2017). Prosecutor Gopal Sri Ram also revealed that Rosmah used Rizal Mansor to make her demands and to negotiate the bribe that was to be paid to her. Rizal Mansor, surprisingly, had his criminal charges withdrawn by the prosecution in the early January this year – suggesting that the former aide and special officer to Najib Razak could have turned as prosecution witness. Rosmah faces imprisonment of up to 20 years and a fine of no less than 5 times the amount of gratification or RM10,000, whichever is higher, if convicted. It’s highly possible that Rosmah Mansor could emerge the winner as the first member of the crooked family to be convicted. The year 2020 could be very bad for her as Mahathir administration is under tremendous public pressure to send someone, anyone, of the Najib families to jail. Already, the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) has investigated the doctor who issued the MC to Rosmah, something that hadn’t happened before to Najib or other crooks of the previous corrupt regime who used the same tactic to delay trials. Furious, Rosmah’s lawyer Jagjit Singh has accused the MACC of trying to intimidate the doctor. More importantly, the first day of the trial has already established what the public had suspected for years – Rosmah Mansor was the de-facto power-hungry prime minister, not the pink-lipped Najib. Despite not holding any positions in the government, FLOM division was set up as Rosmah’s office in the Prime Minister Office after Najib was crowned the prime minister in 2009. - FT

Skrip sama,wayang berbeza...

cheers. Sumber asal: Dilemma Muafakat Nasional Atau Pakatan Nasional... Baca selebihnya di Dilemma Muafakat Nasional Atau Pakatan Nasional...

[thedefinitionofbts]

Our First and Last (Ch. 1)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 |

 Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 (Final)

Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (MAIN) | Park Jimin x Kim Taehyung | Jung Hoseok x Min Yoongi | Kim Namjoon x Kim Seokjin 

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Soulmate Au, Scifi 

Words: 3.3K

Description: The first time you met Jeon Jungkook was on your tenth birthday. On that day, he was nothing more than the strange man who jumped into a dark portal that suddenly opened in the middle of the park. The ten year old you just stood in the grass, strands of hair ruffling from the calm breeze that swooped by; head slightly tilted, bright, innocent eyes wide open and staring at him with wonder and disbelief. There was a certain amount of confusion, but your young mind was too naïve to question his actions or what they entailed.

Like parallel lines running in opposite directions, the Yin dimension and the Yang dimension were separate worlds that flowed in perfect sync, with people living in the Yin dimension aging up and people living in the Yang dimension aging down. The interesting thing is once a person’s life is nearing its end in one dimension, they begin anew in the other, forming a never-ending life cycle that has existed since the beginning of time.

People in the Yin and Yang dimensions never came in contact with each other simply because they aged in opposite timelines and any form of interaction would just create a paradox.

The only case you’ve ever heard about where two people who aged in opposite timelines were able to see each other and fall in love was the famous story of a boy named, Park Jimin, and his lover Kim Taehyung thousands of years ago. It was quite the legend, a tale told to everyone when they were little. Parents always reassured their children that glitches like that only happen once in a million years because the Yin dimension and the Yang dimension flowed in a perfect parallel cycle, and any kind of error was very rare. Some people even went as far as to say the story is nothing but an urban legend about star-crossed lovers, made up to teach children a life lesson because the accuracy of the flow of time in the dimensional cycle is apparently 100%.

But this very legend had its reputation as most popular children’s bedtime story long before you were even born, mainly because of the lovable protagonist Park Jimin, who was described as a pink-haired, fairy–like boy from the Yin dimension, and his lover Kim Taehyung, a beautiful sun-kissed prince from the Yang. It was less about the actual paradox of two opposite timelines colliding and more about what would happen to people if they lost their practical mindset. The two lovers could have chosen to forget about each other, and just let the cycle naturally correct the mistake it made. But in the end, their love consumed them, and they were forced into the dark depths of a black hole, eternally lost. Or so the story goes….

You had no idea how the telling of this legend became an unchanging tradition, let alone why it was even necessary to expose children to such a tragic tale.

The concept of death was literally that, a concept, because no one existing in either the Yin or Yang dimensions knew what death actually was. Life to them was just an endless cycle, a progression of time in a circle…from old to young, young to old, and back again.

To just suddenly not exist one day was unfathomable, and no one would trade eternal life for mortality. Perhaps the legend served the purpose of giving people an idea of true love, another unfamiliar concept (perhaps even more unfamiliar than death) for the people of the two dimensions.

“Mom, we’re out of peanut butter!” You shout from the kitchen as you stare at the empty cupboard in disappointment. You had been craving the taste of sweet nuttiness since school this morning, daydreaming about how good the creamy concoction would taste upon hitting your tongue once you got home, only to find that you may not be able to get the satisfaction that had been nagging you all day.

“There should be more in the fridge” You hear the familiar voice of your mom shout back from the study room.

You quickly rush over and open the fridge, the cool air greeting you with a fog that hits your face. You scan the separate levels before you finally spot the brown jar next to the carton of eggs. Yes. Sweet creamy goodness.

It was late in the afternoon and you could still hear the screams of children playing outside. Kids. You roll your eyes, an air of superiority surrounding you as you stuff a potato chip into your mouth. You were only nine years old, but you liked to think you were mentally more mature than most kids your age. After all, your birthday was coming up soon, and you’ll soon be a decade old.

You turn on the TV and watch the usual after school cartoons while snacking on junk and sipping on juice. School cafeteria food was gross, so you always came home famished and would rummage through the kitchen in search of your favorite foods. Your favorite time of the day, hands down, was settling on the big comfy couch, surrounded by an array of snacks and watching the colorful scenes of your favorite cartoons flash across the TV screen.

Generally speaking, life in the Yin dimension was cool toned. Cool toned as in blues, purples, and greens, like the feeling of winter or the shady side of the mountain. It was a world controlled by the moon. Of course that didn’t mean there was no sun, it’s just that from what you’ve heard, the sun isn’t as warm as it is in the Yang dimension due to the further distance.

You had learned about the Yang dimension in school because it was one of those required subjects. There was an entire class dedicated to studying the Yang dimension, the other side that people in the Yin dimension would reach only when their lives in the Yin dimension came to an end. By that time, it is said that every Yin part of them would disappear, and their inner dormant Yang would take over.

According to your textbook, the Yang dimension was the exact oppose of the Yin. It’s a warm toned place as in the yellows, reds, and oranges. A dimension that was much closer to the sun, and thus dictated by its warm rays.

It wasn’t wrong to say you and everyone in the Yin dimension had technically come from the Yang dimension and vice versa. But no one remembers their life in the other dimension because their memories of that dimension are completely wiped clean as the cycle starts anew, and their cells are regenerated on a molecular level. The only constant that remained unchanged was that everyone essentially stays the same person, so personality and everything is the same and whatnot.

It’s complicated to say the least, but no one really questioned the natural laws of the universe (other than the scientists that dedicated their lives to researching dimensional universes of course). However, the one unchanging fact that everyone knew was that citizens of Yin and Yang could never come in contact with each other. There was just no way, and as much as some people wanted to believe in the so-called “glitches”, it was much safer to just neglect the 0.0000001% error rate because who wants to deal with a paradox that puts the fabric of time at risk?

At any rate, childhood was the epitome of a person’s carefree years, and the only thing the simple-minded nine year old you was busy concerning yourself over was what to snack on afterschool, not the workings of dimensional universes. They were the days of non-existent social problems in school, non-existent homework stress, and definitely no future-planning anxiety. Because at nine-years old, you were too young to profoundly consider the world you lived in, the dimensional spaces your brain couldn’t perceive, or the universes you were destined to discover.

That is…until you met him….

The first time you met Jeon Jungkook was on your tenth birthday.

On that day, he was nothing more than the strange man who jumped into a dark portal that suddenly opened in the middle of the park. The ten year old you just stood in the grass, strands of hair ruffling from the calm breeze that swooped by; head slightly tilted, bright, innocent eyes wide open and staring at him with wonder and disbelief.

There was a certain amount of confusion, but your young mind was too naïve to question his actions or what they entailed.

On that day you found out that everything you had learned in school was too ideal for the imperfect universe. Or put another way, teachers simply didn’t know as much as they claimed to.

That’s why no one ever bothered to explain what miracles were, or spoke of soulmates and the ways of fate and destiny. There’s no such thing as covering every possible scenario, which means 100% accuracy also doesn’t exist.

Because if it did, you would’ve never met Jeon Jungkook.

You had just ran away from your birthday party in tears after getting into an heated argument with one of your friends because she broke the present you were most looking forward to, on purpose, or so you accused. You were on the verge of plopping down in the shady grass under a tree in one of the more secluded areas of the city park when you heard someone call your name from behind. Whipping your head around you see a man, seemingly in his 30’s, strongly built but lean and tall. He was dressed in a white button up with a dark blue and green-checkered knitted vest and slacks. He had dark brown hair and a pair of round thin-rimmed glasses, lightly paced on his tall nose bridge.

“Y/N! There you are! I’ve been looking for you for ages. Why didn’t you-” He doesn’t finish his last sentence when he sees the confused look on your face as you lock eyes with the handsome man that’s running up to you. Breathing heavily with small beads of sweat glistening on his forehead that was peaking through his slightly parted chocolate brown hair, he looked like he had probably been running around for quite some time.

“Who are you?” You ask, as you lift your head to look at him, eyes squinting uncomfortably due to the bright glare of the sun. Even through the small slits of your squinted eyes you could tell the man’s features were almost unnaturally angelic, and his skin glowed with a warm undertone, which was even more strange because it was a known fact that all people in the Yin dimension had cool undertones.

“Ah, so this is the last time” the man utters softly as he sighs and smiles at you with warm, endearing eyes that strangely made your heart tug ever so slightly. “But why are you crying?” He suddenly inquires when he notices the trail of tears gliding down your cheeks. His expression immediately turns into one of caring concern, and he kneels down to get to eye level with you. “Are you hurt?” The pain and worry in his voice was evident, and you had no idea why this strangely handsome man was so personally affected by your crying.

Your bottom lip quivers, and you puff up your cheeks in a cute pout that makes the man’s tender doe eyes look like they could fill up with salty tears as well.

You start from the beginning and tell him all the details of the events that occurred at your birthday party. He just sits next to you, in the grass under the large oak tree, legs crossed and listening intently to you rant about how your friend didn’t even apologize for breaking the antique doll you had wanted for months- the one that your parents had worked so hard to save up the money to buy when your birthday came around. Your cheeks were stained with dried tears, and you weren’t even really paying attention to the man sitting in the spot next to you at this point. The whole “don’t talk to strangers” lecture that your mom always gave you was totally out the window by then, and you just needed someone to understand why you were so upset- someone who would just listen to you and not see you as some immature kid who hadn’t learned to grow up yet.

After you finish your story, the man gently rubs you on the back not saying a single word and just letting his actions relay the feeling he was trying to convey. A kind of gesture that would normally make you feel uneasy coming from a stranger, but for some reason his touch gave you exactly the comfort that you needed. An indescribable tenderness radiated from him, unlike you had ever experienced before.

“Am I supposed to know you?” You ask snapping out of your thoughts all of a sudden, realizing that this strange man knew your name but you didn’t know his. You’re still staring at him, trying to recall if you’ve ever met him before. Not only was nothing about him the least bit familiar, but there was also something about him that made him even more unusual and more foreign than anyone else you had ever met.

“Oh sorry, I…uh…I’m Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook. Uhhh…..damn, how do I explain this? Wait, how did you explain it again?” He was basically talking to himself at this point, hesitantly scratching the back of his head and stumbling over his words while glancing at you and away in the other direction like he was embarrassed to look at you for too long. It was a stark contrast to his composed expression earlier, but his nervous actions made you giggle a little while covering your mouth, causing you to forget the reason you had been crying.

“So this is going to sound crazy, but it’ll clear up over the next few years.” He finally begins to explain. “You’ve heard of the legend of Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung, right?”

You nod slowly, recalling the story that people are told when they are little. Of course you had heard it too, it was a classic tale, like all the other magical fairytales that surround everyone’s childhood. You remember being completely engrossed in it the first time your mom had read it to you as a bedtime story. The countless questions that swirled in your head like the infinite number of stars in the galaxy, but as you got older, you had long stopped daydreaming about the kind of love that was powerful enough to compel people to trade their immortality for.

The thirty year old Jungkook continues to explain things that make you question whether he might just be making stuff up on the spot, while the two of you walk up to a man selling ice cream on the sidewalk. It was late in the afternoon, and you realized that you had left the party before you could even taste a bite of your birthday cake.

“So this is why strawberry ice cream is your favorite.” He says as he watches you lick the pink ice cream topped with fresh strawberries, unable to resist the force that makes his lips stretch into a wide smile. “Should’ve known it had something to do with me.” He chuckles to himself.

You look up at him with a raised eyebrow, unsure of what he’s mumbling to himself about. You notice the look of pure delight spread across his face when your eyes come in contact again, a sort of unexplainable happiness, tinged ever so slightly with a hint of sadness that was evident in his dark orbs.

“So you’re saying…you’re from the Yang dimension?” You ask with a mouth full of ice cream. He uses a napkin to gently wipe a bit of the pink cream that has made its way to the side of your cheek.

“Yeah, I know it’s hard to believe since we’re always told that glitches don’t happen, but I promise, it’ll make more sense later” He says, sighing again. It was clear that he was deep in thought, like something big was going to happen that day and he was trying to decide what to do, the vulnerability peaking through his clear doe eyes.

You finish eating the last bit of ice cream and begin to ask if he’s leaving soon because your parents were probably going to get really worried and start looking for you anytime now, and seeing you with a stranger, who claims to be from the Yang dimension, was probably not the best situation to be in.

“You’ll see me again in a year,” He finally says after some thought, giving you a pat on the head. “I’ll, uh, be a little younger too.” He adds, winking playfully and trying to use humor to hide the slight waver in his voice. “I guess I took too long to find you this time, we usually have more than one day together. Had I known this was your first time, I would’ve tried to find you faster. Now it makes sense why you weren’t waiting at our usual spot. And uh…” At this point he was just ranting, thoughts all kind of jumbled like he was unsure of what to do with himself.

The ten year old you just finds it all quite amusing, seeing a grown adult so awkwardly choked up in front of you, but also somehow wishing you understood this man on a level where you could comfort him the way he comforted you.

He was crouching down so he could talk to you at eye level, but now he was just staring at the ground, lost in his own thoughts. You lift your small, tender hand and pat him on the head, the action making his smooth parted bangs bounce up and down. He looks at you, surprised at your sudden motion, but soon beaming into a bright smile. After a long moment of serene glances and the tension of unspoken words drifting in the space between the two of you, Jungkook finally stands up.

He puts his hands on his hips and looks around the empty park, soaking in the bright sunlight like it was the last time he would feel the warmth of its rays reflecting off his skin. He had a gut feeling that it was almost time.

“Our first and last” He whispers as the sound is carried away by the cool breeze.

You look at his face one last time before he walks up to a dark swirling opening in the middle of the park. The look on his face expressed an emotion that’s so unfamiliar you didn’t know how to even begin describing it. It was like the colorful sky at the brink of sunset, the aquamarine waves of the ocean crashing on the sandy shores, the smell of cherry blossoms on a spring day, the tug of unspoken words during a farewell. A emotion that was written all over his face the whole time, that you seemed to just notice now, engulfing his whole body in a beautiful light with blinding warm hues.

And that’s when he vanished.

Leaving you feeling an emptiness that you hadn’t noticed before you met him. Like his presence filled something that had previously been incomplete, and was only noticeable now because of his coming and going.

And for the next year, you never forgot the strange man whose warmth surrounded your body when you were cold, and whose sweetness danced on your tongue whenever you ate strawberry ice cream.

“He jumped that day, didn’t he?” You ask the doctor with tanned olive skin and a deep musical voice.

Your head was still throbbing after the procedure, and you could barely recognize your psychologist, Dr. Kim who had been treating your condition for months up to the surgery and was now sitting next to your bed in the sterilized recovery room.

He pauses for a second, glances at you with unreadable eyes and eventually nods. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding at his muted response, for some reason even if he hadn’t reassured your hunch; you just had a sure feeling that you already knew.

…

[junker-town]

What happens after you crash out of the Tour de France?

Photo by Jeff Pachoud - Pool/Getty Images

Recovering from a crash at the Tour de France is a lonely, agonizing process that only the world’s best can handle.

Jens Voigt remembers he was having a good day before the crash. He was out in the break, descending from the Col du Petit Saint Bernard, with a group that included Lance Armstrong, Bradley Wiggins, Vincenzo Nibali, Chris Froome, and his teammates Frank and Andy Schleck. He went to the back of the group to get some fresh water bottles for the boys. Then as he worked his way up to the front, he appeared to hit a divot in the road, causing him to lose his balance before landing on his face.

The next thing he remembers is being in a helicopter as it was lifting off.

The next thing he remembers is laying on a table, watching surgeons work on his hand and face.

Roughly six hours after his crash, at 10:30 p.m. in France, he was finally able to hold on to consciousness well enough to take stock of his condition. He had fractured his right cheekbone and sustained a concussion. His first thought was to call his wife and family in Germany, and tell them he was OK.

“On German television they announced, ‘The chances of Mr. Voigt to see the next morning are 50/50,’” Voigt says. “And my kids and my wife were watching.”

Voigt estimates he was involved in 75 crashes during his cycling career. He is regarded as one of the most durable riders in cycling history, having made a record 17 straight Tour de France starts, tied with George Hincapie and former teammate Stuart O’Grady.

But the 2009 crash on Stage 16 of the Tour de France nearly ended his career five years early. For six months he lost total voluntary control of his body.

“I’d go, ‘Honey, I’m completely knackered, I can’t keep my eyes open, my body shuts down, I need to lay down for half an hour.’ I never had that before,” Voigt says. “My body would just stop working, my brain would stop working, and my whole body would tell me that I need to sleep.”

Friends asked Voigt if he was going to stop riding, and he admits he felt like he had to slow down — if not for to care for himself, then to care for his family.

“Each child born slowed me down a little more. I started to break a little earlier,” Voigt says. “Because hey, I love the kids and I love the family. I want to be able to go back to them in one piece, and not in a wheelchair.”

He asked himself why he should keep going.

Photo by Lars Ronbog/FrontzoneSport via Getty Images

Jens Voigt being tended to after crashing on the descent from Col de Petit Saint-Bernard in 2009.

Stress and doubt can creep into riders as soon as a crash happens, and become magnified if they’re forced to abandon a race. The decision to stop is a tricky one that usually takes place as riders are scrambling to get up off the road, get on their bikes, and back into a race. Team doctors look for telltale signs of a rider trying to muscle through an injury that he shouldn’t.

“There’s a certain posture riders have when it’s a critical injury, a fracture versus just going down and being in pain and a little angry,” says Kevin Sprouse, the team doctor for EF Education First. “So there’s a lot that you can pick up in that first cue on seeing them: how they stand up, if they stand up, how they’re holding themselves.”

Doctors also quickly check for signs of head injury, starting with the simple questions of “How are you?” and “What happened?”

“If they can tell me with some detail what happened, that’s always a really good sign,” Sprouse says. “Riders will say, ‘I don’t know, I was just going along and all of a sudden I’m on the ground.’ That’s always more worrisome than saying, ‘We’re riding along, and there was a median, and this guy crossed over, and this guy was a little slow and his wheel crossed mine.’ When there’s a lot of detail to it, it’s a lot more reassuring.”

Sprouse says he’ll also look at balance, and the way a rider’s eyes move. Then overt signs, like bleeding — anything that might disqualify a rider on sight. Still, the stakes of the Tour de France does change the decision process. Whereas a rider might pull himself out of a lesser race with a broken bone, he might ride through it on the Tour.

“There are [injuries] that you might be able to ride through, but they’re going to cause worse damage,” Sprouse says. But if an injury is stable, “then it’s, ‘Well you want to give it a shot? Then let’s go.’”

When riders are forced to abandon — whether the decision is made immediately after a crash, or after several kilometers of gutting pain — it can be difficult to accept. Unlike in ball sports, there are no injury timeouts, no referees who might blow their whistle and bring the race to a halt. When a rider crashes out of the Tour, his rivals and teammates will simply blow right past the scene of the accident if they can.

Then when the stage ends, there’s little time for consolation. The team has to move on to the next start town, often leaving a rider all alone in a hospital, or at an airport to make his way back home.

Christian Vande Velde started 11 times at the Tour de France and crashed out twice. The isolation after being forced to abandon can wreak havoc on riders psychologically.

Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

Christian Vande Velde, riding for Garmin-Sharp, after crashing during Stage 7 of the 2013 Tour de France.

“There’s an immediate feeling of relief if you are injured and you stop, and then there’s also an immediate feeling of regret, of ‘Could I have kept on going?’” Vande Velde says. “You definitely have that feeling of isolation, and you feel like you’ve let your team down.”

That isolation is largely self-imposed. Sprouse says in the 10 years he has worked in cycling, he has never seen a rider ask to stay with the team after they’ve been forced out of a stage race. According to Vande Velde, injured riders worry about compounding their misery by bringing down their teammates.

“You don’t want to be a negative towards your team, whether it’s the way you look, or the way you feel, or your sorrows,” Vande Velde says. “Especially going back to the hotel, it’s not nice. You’re having to feel your feelings. And sometimes you have to go back to a race hotel where on average three or four teams will be there, and you just want to get out of there, you just want to get home as fast as you possibly can.”

Home is where the healing process truly begins. There, team doctors set up cyclists with specialists they can see on their own time, without having to worry about getting in the way of the team’s needs. After Tejay Van Garderen abandoned the 2019 Tour with a broken hand suffered during Stage 7, Sprouse kept in touch using Slack to make sure the rider was recuperating properly both mentally and physically.

Riders also work on declawing stress from their mind. Having a support system of friends and family aids the comedown from a hyper-competitive mindset, and helps riders come to grips with competing again.

Voigt’s decision to come back was particularly tough because of the severity of the crash. Talking it out was key.

“I felt it in too many athletes, when you stop too early there is a bitterness or disappointment,” Voigt says. “And I know myself, if that would happen to me I would become a miserable husband and a miserable father because I would be unhappy with myself.”

Voigt felt he had the right support.

“My wife, absolute legend as she is, she said, ‘Look, Jens, you can imagine what I want after this accident, but I know you, I can feel it still inside you, so I give you a carte blanche: whatever you decide, I’m behind you. It’s your decision, because you need to be happy with it.’”

There’s no good way to prepare for a crash. The circumstances unfold too quickly to react. Teams do prepare for a few contingencies — who’s going to give up their bike if the team leader breaks his, for example. But the best, and perhaps only, way to stay safe is to stifle any fear.

“When you do crash, you have that question in the back of your head sometimes — whether it’s in the peloton or going down a descent — where you don’t have that straight up confidence that you’ve had,” Vande Velde says. “That’s what the biggest problem with me was just not trusting the people around you. Because a lot of times crashes don’t have anything to do with you, you just put yourself in the wrong position at the wrong time.”

“It’s Days of Thunder, you close your eyes and you just go straight and hopefully everyone’s going to move” - Christian Vande Velde

Counterintuitively, that doubt is often strongest in veteran riders. Young riders may be more confident in their ability to recover physically, and less aware that their careers are finite and fragile. Older riders are more acutely aware of their mortality, and may be shakier in a tightly-packed peloton as a result. “When you get older,” Voigt says, “you lay on the tarmac and go, ‘What the hell, do I really need this anymore? Do I even want to do this anymore? Do I really want to go back on the bike?’”

When a jumpy rider touches another wheel, it can send dozens of riders tumbling to the ground. At that point, the best any rider can do is make peace with the situation.

“It’s Days of Thunder, you close your eyes and you just go straight and hopefully everyone’s going to move,” Vande Velde laughs. “But for the most part there’s not much you can do. You can try to avoid it and go left and go right, look for a soft spot. Let’s say you’re near the grass, try to go in the grass.”

But that’s if you’re lucky. Half the time, Vande Velde says, “You’re like Walter Payton going over the top into the end zone.”

Voigt remembers one of the few times he nearly succumbed to fear. He won the Critérium International stage race five times in his career, but there was one nervy day when he wasn’t sure he would survive a descent.

“Nobody braked. There was noise from the wind, the rain, the fog, and it was so freakin’ scary,” Voigt says. “Everything inside me was just screaming at me, ‘Brake, brake, stop and go slow.’ And there I was really so close to actually letting fear and panic take over.”

To put his mind in the right place, he gave it a logic exercise.

“I taught myself, just by the laws of physics, if 50 riders can pass the descent without crashing, then I can do it as well,” he says. “I tried to overcome my fear by logic, by telling myself, ‘It must work. One and one is two, and if 50 riders pass this, I can pass this, too. Just don’t brake.’”

After his 2009 crash, Voigt took 12 weeks off before competing again. He picked the Tour of Missouri as his first race because it seemed low stress. American roads are typically much wider than European roads, and the peloton of roughly 120 riders was significantly smaller than the nearly 200 that show up for the Tour every year. The climbs and descents were also less harrowing, which meant there wasn’t as much potential danger.

To Voigt, continuing was, again, a matter of logic. He felt that because he had such a long, relatively safe career before the accident, there’s no reason he should believe that it couldn’t continue. He also had his family to think about. He wanted to stay healthy for them, yes, but he also wanted to provide.

He references Frank Herbert’s novel Dune.

“There’s a little passage where a character goes, ‘I cannot be allowed to have fear because fear is a mind killer. Fear makes you get all nervous, fear makes you do mistakes,’” Voigt says. “You’re allowed to have respect for the descent and for the speed, but when fear and panic takes over control, you get stiff on the bike, you break too early, you break too late, you take the corner at a weird angle.

“Don’t have fear, have respect.”

Photo by AAron Ontiveroz/The Denver Post via Getty Images

Jens Voigt waving to fans before the start of that 2014 USA Pro Challenge, his last professional race.

Sprouse is busier at his job than he’d like to be. EF Education First has had a particularly bad run of injuries the last two years. In 2018, Lawson Craddock broke his scapula on the very first stage of the Tour de France, but bravely stayed in the peloton until Paris, and team leader Rigoberto Uran was forced to abandon with injuries he sustained on a brutal cobblestone stage. In 2019, the team lost Van Garderen, and Michael Woods rode with two broken ribs.

“I always say, ‘If I’m bored and you don’t see me on TV or in an interview, then usually things are going very well,’” Sprouse says. “So when friends back home, or family, send me a text message saying, ‘Oh, we saw you on TV,’ I’m like, ‘Ugh, that’s not good.’”

As you might expect, the Tour de France’s medical setup is robust, especially compared to smaller races. Every stage comes equipped with a cadre of emergency specialists, traumatologists, surgeons, and radiologists ready to assist team doctors in any way that they can. Near the finish there’s even a truck that can do X-rays and ultrasounds for riders as soon they cross the line.

“I tried to overcome my fear by logic, by telling myself, ‘It must work. One and one is two, and if 50 riders pass this, I can pass this, too.” - Jens Voigt

Everything is coordinated by head doctor Florence Pommerie, a badass emergency doctor who takes time off from her day job in the Paris suburbs to oversee the Tour. Team doctors always make the final diagnosis on their athletes, but Tour doctors provide an important assist.

“If there’s some scenario where I’m not in the car, they’re fantastic on the road,” Sprouse says. “I’m of the opinion that the more eyes on a problem, the better. So oftentimes in those scenarios if the race doctor is around, I’ll say, ‘Hey, what do you think? Here’s what I’m thinking.’ Ultimately the decision from a medical standpoint would be mine, but I’m never opposed to some input.”

The medical safeguards need to be so robust in part because the Tour is arguably the most dangerous race in the world. Not only are the roads themselves dastardly, but riders take more risks. The Tour is the most important race on the calendar, and so riders are less willing to yield than they are any other time of the year.

“In the first week of the Tour, it doesn’t really look that hard, but the peloton is packed with people and everybody is fighting to be at the front the whole time,” Vande Velde says. “It’s nerve wracking. And when those crashes happen you can’t really see because you’re packed in there so tight like a school of fish.”

“Nobody gives up a square inch on the road,” Voigt adds. He describes a scenario in another race when a rider might give him clearance. “The same situation the first day in the Tour de France, the same rider sits next to you, he’s going to say, ‘Jens, there’s only two solutions: either we’re both going to crash, or you’re going to brake because I ain’t braking.’”

Voigt remembers when he finally came to grips with his injury after his crash. He was laid up in a Berlin trauma clinic, reading a book on his bed, when he heard a baby cry outside of his window.

“And I looked down into the little garden we had behind the building, and I see this woman, early 20s, she’s holding a newborn baby, and she’s spoon feeding her partner in a wheelchair,” Voigt says. “The guy in the wheelchair, he was probably on a motorbike, he didn’t look like he’s ever going to recover fully. His body did not move at all.

“Moments like that, they help you recover because you go, ‘Stop bitching, stop whinging, you are still lucky.”

Voigt felt if he could compete, then he should. The team atmosphere and challenge of the Tour de France was a good reminder that life is too full of potential dangers to get hung up on just one.

“Out there, if you fall and half of the skin on your leg is gone, you just laugh and go, ‘Fuck this, I’m going to go back on my bike,’” Voigt says. “This crazy mix of emotions — relief, happiness, being proud, being afraid, being anxious, can’t wait for tomorrow, being anxious for tomorrow — this wild mix, you can hardly find it anywhere else, and that’s why the Tour de France is such a special event.

“These moments, you cannot really duplicate in normal life. You have to go there, there is no shortcut.”

The Tour de France, in short, is worth the risk.

[sketchy-vore]

Undertale AUs I’ll probably never use!

So yeah, I’m great at getting a bunch of ideas but never really doing much with it. Since I don’t really know how to change these into full-fledged stories, but some of you might like to fantasize about these, here are a few of the better (and more presentable) ideas.

1. Deserttale (Gaster Blaster Brothers)

This AU takes place in a post-apocalyptic desert-like world where civilizations fight over water.

In a big city that has taken claim over the largest sources of fresh water, a scientist is ordered to create a weapon to conquer more water-settlements so the city can control them instead. The scientist does what is asked, but as his creations, called Gaster Blasters, grow and start to show self-awareness he refuses to let them be used for military gain. When he tries to go into hiding he is promptly shot for ‘treason’.

When the government tries to take control of the two creations however, they quickly bump into a huge problem: The scientist could not speak, and he wrote and signed in his own made-up language. So they can’t use his notes to create more weapons (most of the notes were burned beforehand anyways), and the two existing creatures were trained in and would only answer to the doctor’s sign language. They do end up finding a use for the two brother creations though, as a method of execution.

The two creatures, especially the younger one, do have a strong instinct to kill ‘corrupted’ people (murderers, rapists, high degree abusers, etc.), and they find out the older of the two will do anything to keep his brother from harm. They turn it into some kind of game show (a la Hunger Games) where they send criminals (both major and minor, they pull straws to pick them) into a jungle enclosure where they have to run and try to survive, with the two creations on their heels, until all of them are dead. Usually, it takes just a day, once a month, with Papyrus impulsively (and not remembering afterward) going after the heavier criminals while Sans goes after the more ‘innocent’ people to spare his brother from doing so.

Frisk is a mute orphan living in the streets. They know the universal sign language that is used by the people, but ever since birth, they also know another kind of signing. It just came to them ever since birth, no one else understands it, and they sometimes mistakenly start to sign in it, especially when they’re nervous.

One day Frisk get’s caught for trying to steal some food and their number is drawn to be executed. They and about 9 other criminals are released into the arena, where they immediately scatter to get out of there before the two monsters are released. Frisk hides and it actually takes Sans quite a while to find them. When he does there is a short chase before he corners them. In panic, Frisk starts to plead for their life in their own sign language and Sans actually stops, confused. To keep up the show he pretends to eat Frisk whole, while actually keeping them safe in his jaws as he smuggles them into their stables.

Once Sans is sure no one will see the kid, he spits them out and Papyrus and he instantly start to feel a kinship with the child. In turn, Frisk’s brain starts to fall in tune with the two brothers. Their movements, their sounds they make, even the way the brothers glance at something/someone, it all makes sense to them. Eventually Frisk learns the codes that unlock the stable doors and shock-collars of their friends and they manage to escape into the desert outside the city.

After running for hours (and Frisk suffering under the burning sun) they decide to stop near a tiny settlement. It is built in the Ruins of a village that died out after it’s well dried, but the new inhabitants found a way to dig the old well deeper and be more thrifty with the new water source.

The trio decides for Sans and Papyrus to stay hidden in the dunes while Frisk goes to see if they can get their hands on food and water. Frisk get caught (again) trying to steal some apples, but this time by an elderly lady that gently scolds them instead. When Frisk admits that they don’t have a home or family to return to the lady introduces herself as Toriel and invites Frisk to stay with her. Frisk refuses and tells Toriel that they have to return to their ‘brothers’. After being offered and once again refusing for them and their ‘brothers’ to stay with her, she buys a bag with apples and a waterskin for all of them. She also gives Frisk 3 large pieces of fabric they can build a shelter from against the burning sun and freezing night: A long strip of red cloth, a blue, aras style rug with fluffy white tassels at the ends, and a blue and purple striped shawl.

They put the red fabric around Papyrus’ neck (so they don’t lose each other in a sandstorm), the rug around Sans’ rib cage (to protect and hide his fragile soul) and they themself wrap the shawl around their head (against the sun).

Before they can leave though, another tribe appears with the intent to take over the tiny oasis. Within the community of the Ruins there are only a few person that is both trained and able enough to fight off the intruders, lead by captain Undyne.

Undyne’s forces are too small and she desperately fights off the nomads to try and save her village, and then it turns into a struggle so her wounded soldiers can be brought back to safety. Witnessing the clash between the honest desire to protect her loved ones and simple greed, Papyrus’ instincts kick in and he rushes into battle. Sans and Frisk don’t have much choice to go after him.

The opposing forces rapidly grow frightened of these two strange, powerful creatures and their ‘rider’, and they quickly decide to retreat. They take Undyne back to the village, where they are met by it’s equally terrified inhabitants. Toriel, however, recognises the articles of clothing the trio is wearing. She introduces herself as the leader of the settlement and tells Frisk that, even though she now realizes why they refused her offer before, all three of them are more than welcome to stay with her. They accept this time.

Then Undyne and Papyrus quickly grow to be friends and battle-buddies, though she’s kinda pleasantly surprised that this ferocious war machine she saw before, is actually a giant, friendly skeleton puppy. Alphys, who is now the village’s scientist, used to work for Gaster, she was lucky to escape since Gaster thold her to get out of the city before he could start packing. Thus she actually knows the brothers inside and out, and helps to train them and bring out their full potential.

Together they’ll be going against the misguided Asgore (unstable after the death of his children during an accident with the escape of a few criminals) and his wicked and power hungry advisor, Flowey.

2. Sans’ soul (my only AU in which Chara is the actual bad guy)

I once talked about this one before. But recap for those that didn’t read that post:

Sans loses the fight in the genocide route. His body turns to dust, but his soul desperately refuses to die, to let this world be destroyed. The soul manages to escape Ebott when the barrier is scattered by Chara’s immense determination and frustration over having failed ‘the game’, and latches itself to the first friendly person it can find, allowing itself to be absorbed. Now this person has to learn to get along with a very bitter skeleton, share their body without looking weird and ridiculous, use monster magic in preparation for a battle with a possessed child, and stomaching more ketchup than human taste pallets can handle.

3. Mountain King (with G/t and some vore) (I even made a little song for this one!)

The villages of a mountain range are terrorized by a skeletal giant. The legends go that a god had betrayed his kin and thus was cast from heaven. Taken by bitterness and vengeance the god lost his heart and everything else soft and vulnerable on his body, leaving a cold, marble white skeleton to roam the earth for eternity. He is often called the King of the Mountains, because he is always seen wearing a royal blue cloak with a white-furred collar, and because he decides who lives or (more likely) dies if they dare to climb the mountains. If he is in a mild mood however, some have been known to survive if they win a game against him.

Frisk and Chara are two children living in an orphanage and care for each other like siblings (Chara is the younger of the two). Both have been brought there because children get a prophecy from the moment they are born, and those for Frisk and Chara were less than favorable.

Frisk: Your fate will be chosen by the mountain’s maw.

Chara: The person you love most will take the blade meant for you.

Everyone always looks at Frisk with pity since they are more than sure they’ll die in the mountains, or even by the King himself. Chara, on the contrary, is constantly shunned and people are always trying to drive them away out of fear that they might grow to care about them, thus making them the victims of the child’s prophecy. Chara is pretty bitter towards most humans because of this.

They are however always welcome at lady Toriel’s house. She is considered too old to adopt and properly care for any children, but Frisk and Chara always go there to keep her company and help around the house. Chara often wondered if Toriel wasn’t worried about their prophecy, to which she laughed and said that with whatever little time she had left in this world, she’d gladly give it to save them.

One day Toriel is out of firewood and Chara quickly volunteers to get more near the foot of the mountain. Frisk quickly offers to do it in their stead, it’s misty outside and Chara might be a little more helpful cooking then hauling around twigs and logs.

Because of the fog though, Frisk starts to wonder higher and higher up the mountain, only to realize how high up they are when they bump into a huge, skeletal leg.

Sans isn’t in the best mood because of the cold, wet weather, but he does end up challenging Frisk to a riddle game, because they’re just a lost kid. Each taking turns they both have to ask the other a hundred riddles, the one who answers most wins the game.

Frisk notices after about 60 riddles that they are losing, they aren’t that good at riddles and Sans has had way more experience with them. So in the hope to throw Sans off guard, they tell him a joke riddle. Sans is completely taken aback, his cold, sly composure cracks, and before Frisk’s very eyes, the feared King of the Mountains, starts to giggle like a child.

With a smile that now looks genuine instead of mocking, Sans informs them that for every one of those that can make him laugh, he’ll take away two of their losses. With some new hope Frisk keeps on playing the game, but they quickly lose that hope when Sans suddenly starts to ask way more complicated riddles, as if he really want’s them to lose.

Eventually Frisk just gives up, realizing they can’t win this anymore. Sans frowns at this and hisses that in that case, he’ll take his prize. He dangles them over his mouth, causing Frisk to freak out, and once he drops them in they faint out of fear.

When they wake up though, they’re inside a huge room, locked in a cage. Sans notices them waking up and tells them that he liked their jokes, so now they’ll be staying here until they stop amusing him.

The first days are extremely stressful, with Sans threatening Frisk’s life if they’re stubborn and unwilling to tell jokes. But after Frisk literally blocks up and faints because of the stress and Sans fails to recognize it for a while, Sans becomes a little more patient (as long as he can laugh at jokes instead if that guilt gnawing at the back of his mind over a tiny limp body in his hands).

As it starts to get harder to think of new jokes, Frisk also starts to tell stories. First funny things that happened to them, Chara and Toriel, then stories and even songs known by their village, and eventually Sans starts to show interest in their personal life, not just the things that make him laugh. He even shares some small talk when it relates to their stories.

Sans starts to grow fond of Frisk, putting their cage on the table instead of dangling high above the floor, looking for stuff to make the cage more comfortable, having meal times with them, allowing them to sit on him in the easy chair when they tell stories, ect. He also starts to get more uncomfortable when Frisk recites stories the village tells about him. He wants to give Frisk more freedom and see them being happy, but after everything that has happened he feels a bit awkward to talk about it.

Frisk, however, has been told their whole life that the Mountain King is heartless and apathetic towards others, so they don’t notice any of this.

Frisk usually tries to think out a routine for the day after before they go to sleep: Fists some funny stuff to get him in a good mood, then some calmer things to keep him content for the rest of the day. A few weeks after Sans first caught Frisk, they have a much harder time thinking about what jokes or stories to tell. They stay up all night trying to think of something until they hear Sans’ voice greeting them in the morning.

Frisk blurts out the first joke that comes to mind, but they mess it up and Sans has heard it already anyways. Sans get’s worried over Frisk’s behavior, and Frisk mistakes his look for displeasure. So they start to ramble out jokes (‘yeah, a sunburnt penguin, you told me that one‘) and pieces of stories (‘wait, does this one relate to that story where you and Chara got chased by chickens?’) until they start to slip into a panic attack.

Sans tries to reach for them, but Frisk scrambles back as they plead for their life and promise they can come up with more jokes, until they start to hyperventilate so badly that they faint.

When they wake up they are confused at their soft, glowing surroundings and the warm, blue liquid they’re sitting in, until they remember that Sans might have just eaten them, deciding they weren’t entertaining anymore. As Frisk starts to panic again, Sans gently confirms where they are, but also promises that ‘it won’t hurt’ and to ‘rest, it’ll be over soon’.

Frisk starts to cry at this, not wanting to die. Who is gonna take care of Chara and Toriel now after all? But Sans’ promise is a tiny bit reassuring (maybe he’s making it painless because he is a bit grateful for entertaining him for a while). Frisk eventually lets their hopelessness and exhaustion pull them back to sleep.

They wake up to a faceful of soft, white fur and blue fabric cozily wrapped around their body. It takes them a few confused seconds to realize that they are very much alive and not inside Sans’ stomach anymore, but wrapped up in his cloak on top of the easy chair instead.

When Sans returns into the room Frisk quickly hides under the cloak but Sans just lifts the edge to slide a plate with berries underneath with them, saying he understands if they’re scared, but he just wants to talk. He won’t be impatient though, they can come out in their own time.

Frisk is skeptical and scared at first, but they notice it’s not quite the anxiety that was ingrained into them over the past few weeks. They can hear Sans moving around but he doesn’t try to interact with them again, except to slide some nuts onto the plate for dinner. It’s only by the next day afternoon that Frisk gathers the courage to face Sans again.

Sans, in turn, is very careful around Frisk, staying low and close to their eye level and talking in a soft voice. He explains that Frisk isn’t just a form of entertainment to him anymore, that he didn’t mean to scare them that badly. He ate them to he could heal them more easily, taking away the trauma connections their brain made. That way they can make a clear decision with the memories of everything that happened between them, but they wouldn’t have any trigger reactions that could suddenly pop up anymore. He promises he will take them home, but he asks for a second chance, since he grew really fond of the child.

It does take a while and a lot of tenderness on Sans’ part, but they do end up properly becoming friends.

Sans starts to open up a little more to Frisk, telling that long ago he and the others were seen as protectors of the villages they roamed near. But one day a group of people started traveling around and killing them for payment, claiming to the villagers that they were evil and the villages were trapped under their tyranny. And after hearing it enough times, people started to believe it. They paid to have him slain as well, but no one had counted on Sans’ unusual strength. With the lies and fears having taken roots now though, many more came up the mountain to try and kill him. So Sans had decided never to trust humans or tolerate them so close to his home again.

In turn, Frisk also opens up about their worries about them and Chara’s prophesy. Sans wonders if that didn’t happen already though. After all Frisk took a blade (a small axe) when Chara wanted to take it (to gather wood) and Frisk had entered his maw as well, two times even.

Eventually, Sans takes Frisk back down the mountain to from where they can find their way back home. They are ready to let the kid go forever, only for Frisk to turn around and tell him they’ll see him again sometimes. Once they return they make up a story, and Frisk quickly becomes the child that got lost in the mountains and won an epic battle of words against the King.

In the meantime, Frisk juggles spending time with both Chara and Toriel, but also visits Sans regularly. The two grow even closer to the point where Sans doesn’t know what to do anymore without Frisk’s company, and Frisk starts to feel safe in Sans’ maw.

One day however raiders start to plunder the village and the sound of panic quickly causes Sans to rush over to make sure Frisk is safe. He scared most of the raiding troops away by showing his face and flings away any he can find in the village. He realizes the prophecies might not have been fulfilled yet when he finds Frisk freshly run through with a blade, the one responsible drawing back and ready for another stab. Sans get’s a hold of him though, but he decides it is a little more important to take care of Frisk than to exact some thorough revenge on the guy. So he gives him the deadliest stare he can muster before flinging the human as far away as he can.

Sans starts to panic at Frisk’s condition, but remembering their prophesy he gently slides them into his mouth and swallows. He hears a tiny whimper as he does so. He crouches down to look for the sound and gently questions if they are Chara. He manages to pry the crying child out from hiding a broken door and quickly reassures them that everything will be okay, and Frisk will be fine too.

Many people, especially the village leaders start to wonder what Sans is doing there, but he refuses to speak. At least until Toriel literally flings her cane into his face and demands to know where here children are. In the end Sans can sooth many people’s nerves when he finally regurgitates an unharmed and healed Frisk.

After that I don’t really know what I want to happen, but the villagers start to see Sans as more of a protector again, Toriel is allowed to take care of Frisk and Chara (as long as Sans provides for the family), and Sans slowly but surely turns into a jungle gym for the children of the village.

[scienceblogtumbler]

How caffeine changed the world

It is the world’s most-used drug, one many of us simply refuse to live without, opting for addiction over the loss of that first, or second, or in some cases third cup that gets us through the day.

And now its seductive powers, its dark history, its health benefits, and its harmful side effects are on full display in best-selling author Michael Pollan’s new audiobook “Caffeine: How Coffee and Tea Created the Modern World.”

The Lewis K. Chan Arts Lecturer and Professor of the Practice of Non-Fiction has made a career of writing about how the things we consume affect our lives, our health, and our planet (“The Omnivore’s Dilemma,” “How to Change your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence”). He discussed his latest effort with Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study Dean Tomiko Brown-Nagin during a Tuesday Zoom talk.

Pollan, who worked on his psychedelics book while a Radcliffe fellow, said he has been obsessed with “this reciprocal relationship we have with plants” and with certain plants’ ability “to change the textures of our experiences of the world” for years. Crafting a piece on caffeine had long been on his to-do list, he said, but he was unaware it would require a precious sacrifice.

As he has done in his earlier work, Pollan became a human test subject for his art, giving up coffee, or more specifically, caffeine, while he worked on the new book in order to truly appreciate its effects on the human body and mind. He said his story’s narrative “demanded it.” Yet, as anyone who has dropped the stimulant from their diet knows, it wasn’t easy.

In his book Pollan recounts the day he finally decided to forgo his routine morning cup, recalling how the “lovely dispersal of the mental fog that the first hit of caffeine ushers into consciousness never arrived. The fog settled over me and would not budge.”

Michael Pollan, who gave up caffeine while writing his book, said he wasn’t aware how addicted he was to the drug.

Rose Lincoln/Harvard file photo

Pollan said he didn’t fully understand how addicted he was to the drug — also known by its scientific name: 1, 3, 7-trimethylxanthine — until he got off it. All the symptoms of caffeine withdrawal were there, he noted, including headaches, fatigue, and perhaps most insidious for a writer trying to tell a compelling story, difficulty concentrating.

As his work progressed, he also realized that because caffeine is so ubiquitous — more than 90 percent of people on the planet consume it daily, and we even regularly allow children to have the drug in the form of soda ­— constant personal caffeination “has simply become baseline human consciousness.”

During the talk Pollan delved into the science, discussing how the tiny caffeine molecule acts on the central nervous system by suppressing the neuromodulator adenosine that helps make us sleepy. Caffeine, one-quarter of which can stay in your system for up to 12 hours, then becomes the solution to the problem it creates, he said, making people who are sleep-deprived from their caffeine consumption the day before eager for a morning hit to charge them up for the day ahead.

Pollan explains in a section of the audiobook on the substance’s origins that caffeine was first discovered in China around 1000 B.C. in the form of tea. The discovery of coffee is traced to Ethiopia around 850 A.D. According to the legend, a herder who noticed how jumpy his goats got after eating the berries of an arabica plant gave some of the berries to a local monk, who used them to concoct the world’s first cup of coffee. As time went on, caffeine’s history took a dark turn. Growers and sellers built the industry on the backs of enslaved people forced to harvest both the coffee beans and the sugar needed to sweeten the bitter drink that had become increasingly popular in the West.

  Audible · [Audible Exclusive] Caffeine written and performed by Michael Pollan

  In his work, Pollan addresses the question of whether caffeine has been a boon or bane to human civilization. He concludes that the price has been undeniably high, possibly too high, with its historical connections to a brutal system of production and the back-breaking work involved in growing and harvesting coffee that continues today. Then there is the havoc it wreaks on our sleep — particularly the deep, slow-wave sleep that is critical to memory.

But Pollan highlights the positives as well. He notes that before there were ready supplies of potable water, boiled beverages, like coffee or tea, “were the safest thing a person could drink,” with the most commonly available alternative being alcohol. He also points out the continuing health benefits attributed to caffeine and confirmed by the science. Taken in moderation, coffee and tea can decrease the risk of several cancers, as well cardiovascular disease, Type 2 diabetes, and Parkinson’s disease.

He also suggests that the consumption of caffeinated drinks even might have helped societies that embraced them to thrive. According to Pollan, caffeine drove a kind of “Enlightenment thinking.” The coffee houses that stretched first across the Arab world and eventually Europe became not only the internet of their day, spreading gossip and news, but also centers of discussion that fostered important cultural, political, and scientific exchanges and helped usher in a “new spirit of rationalism.”

And the mental edge provided by caffeine helped transform work, he said, by improving focus and the ability to concentrate ­­— keys to the safety and success of the machine-based labor that powered the Industrial Revolution as well as every generation since. Pollan calls the coffee break, created in the U.S. in the 1940s as a way to increase worker output, “the best evidence of caffeine’s gift to capitalism.”

“It’s amazing that we’ve institutionalized a drug for the express purpose of improving productivity and quality control, but so we have,” said Pollan.

In the end, where did Pollan finally land on his own caffeine intake? He made a compromise with himself, he said, only having coffee on Saturdays, or when he is in real need of that mental boost. He acknowledges it is “not an addiction that troubles me.”

The author also encouraged his listeners to try to kick their caffeine habit, if only temporarily, by tapering down slowly to avoid withdrawal symptoms. “The first cup after you’ve been off is the best way to reacquaint yourself with what a powerful drug it is,” said Pollan, who plans to include his work on caffeine in a print book featuring three psychoactive plants. It is tentatively titled “This Is Your Brain on Plants.”

And we just might have to get used to having less caffeine in our lives in the future. According to some estimates, said Pollan, because of climate change, by the middle of the century 50 percent of the land currently growing coffee plants will “no longer be suitable for coffee production.”

source https://scienceblog.com/518061/how-caffeine-changed-the-world/

[nebula-the-wyvern]

The Monster Of Mor'vec. (Part 1)

This is just a little something I've been working on for a few weeks now and I wanted to share it. It's not finished yet but I already know how it's gonna end so there's that. I have also written more then this but I though that this would be a good sized oneshot muti-part story. If ya get what I mean. Well I hope ya enjoy it I had a lot of fun writing it. ------------------------------------------------------------------ It is said that in the sea fog a creature lurks in the depths, unseen, unheard yet its presence still known. Many had tried to catch, slay and document the aquatic beast but no one has ever gotten more then a few meters near it in its watery domain. If it does not wish to be be seen it will not be. If it does not caught it won't be. However woe be tide anyone who wishes to slay it, weather using gun, harpoon or knife. For then they leave and if they do return from the rage of the sea dweller they are broken. Minds bent and misshapen, a championed hunter reduced to a mumbling reck. A person barely able to comprise words or even process others who speak to them. Though however these men were driven to insanity one fact was always the same, the boats with tattered sails and damaged sides somehow always managed to moor at the dock of Mor'vec. Even if the expedition had started 30 miles away they would always end up at that same dock just as the sun was about to rise. The question always lingers in the mind of the villagers, how did a man who could barley stand moor a boat in the dead of night with no map, compass or even a good sail to catch the wind. How did these hunters end up at the Dock of Mor'vec? For over half a century all hunts for the beast were forbidden, even poachers stayed far away from that dock side, not wishing to be sent to the nut house. Anyone with a sensible head on their shoulders dared not to even speak of the beast, never mind try to go out and find it. A young teen boy of the village was not one of those people. He was no rock brained lad but a rather intelligent one, a youth bored of the lack lustre life his village provided him. Most boys like him became scholars or even politicians but this teen had a bigger ambitions. He wished to explore the world outside his village, his county, even beyond his country! His wished to be the greatest explorer in the lands, to be known around the world, have books written in his greatest. This could of been a noble dream, a truly great explorer who wished to see he land around his documented for others to see and enjoy. However his was not his intention at all, all he wished was for the fame, glory and the money that came with it. He wanted out of his simple village life, a lifestyle he considered below him despite his own family living in that village for five generations. The beast that had driven many to insanity was still common knowledge amongst the residents, despite the subject being taboo. The boy wished to slay the beast when he came of age but kept his desires a secret from everyone, doing research in the ancient library near his school. He had read everything from old recounted features of the creature, some being contradictions of each other, old sketches and the first recorded mentions of it over two thousand years ago. He had scoured the many shelves of books and files at his disposal, he had found no new information on the creature for almost a week. This did not make him very happy, since he still hadn't found away to track the creature down without going into the sea fog that even he would surely get lost in. With a few minutes of pondering his situation over a idea struck him, something he had never considered mostly due to the true stupidity of it. He was desperate now, so he was willing to try anything to slay the creature that would propel him to into his perfect future of luxury and fame. So then he wondered his way down towards the back of the old library to wards the fantasy section, more specifically towards to local legends shelves. He now had a new plan in motion, why hunt for the beast when the beast could come to him? He skimmed through word after word, page after page and book after book, the hours passing by as if time no longer had meaning. Finally the boy found it. A old books cover damaged and dusty from age, a beautiful but faded golden title on the front, it read "Marvellous Melmorian Fantasy Creatures: Volume IV (Lore Edition)". On the other hand, in the book it's self the pages looked as if they were printed yesterday. No damage, tears or folds on the corners nor words slightly smudged and warped from being handled. The would be explorer barely even noticed the mysteriously well preserved nature of this book, instead choosing to focus on the words within it. Like the other books previously read stacked beside him, he skimmed through old references to Giants, fire wolves and crazed creatures alike. When he reached near the end of the old text he finally saw the subject he was looking for, sea creatures. He found a whole four full pages of details, lore and mythology none of which his previous findings even looked into to. One legend of the creature seemed to catch his interest, it was said the old dock of Mor'vec was built upon a shrine destroyed by a mighty storm and lost to time. Though some old manuscripts where recovered from the wreckage, these documented rituals and offerings of large barrels of fish left there for safe passage across the dangerous rocky cliff base near the settlement at the time. However one page documented a offering of a very large but rare fish referenced as the Whaling Bassic, in exchange for a glimpse into times afar. This one small detail made the young scholar pause, closing the book and thinking for a few moments. He let a small hum leave him as he reevaluated his options once again. The sea beast could be made to come to him where he could see what his glorious future has install for him and then slay the it in the shallow waters of the dock side. His day was getting better and better, soon he would be able to complete his destiny and finally be away from his small town. In that same moments of realisation a problem struck him across the face like a avalanche of rocks and snow. What on earth was a Whaling Bassic? His studies never mentioned such a fish and his father, who was a fisherman for a living, had never mentioned wishing to catch such a haul in all his years. The smirk of satisfaction slid right of his face after that thought, morphing into a strong frown. Which was then followed by an exasperated huff. Frustrated and tired he put the book back onto the shelf and left that section of the library, he was speed walking over to the nonfiction section once more to learn about this unknown fish. Suddenly a rather loud bell was ringing at a rather high pitch, enough to make the boy want to cover his ears. Then the feminine voice of the librarian bellowed like a banshee in the night across the whole library. "It's Seven o'clock, it's Seven o'clock", she repeated,"the library is closing now, it's time to leave." She continued as her voice as carried across the wide space of the large open building. Somehow the boy found her voice more irritated then that blasted bell and despite coming to the building almost everyday he seemed to never get accustomed to neither of those annoying sounds. However the closing of the library meant he would be forced to leave and finish his studies of the Whaling Bassic the next day. He had barley noticed the passing of time, the last time he had looked at the large oak clock on the back wall it said the time was twenty to three! Soon he turned on his heel and slowly made his way to the exit, saying nothing to the other students in the library as they all left. As the exited the mighty doorway he made is way down the large stone steps that went down to the winding pathway down the hill toward the town below. As the late summer sun was beginning to set the scholar was greeted by the chilling, salty winds of the sea that had made their way up the large hill. It took him half an hour to walk his way down the paths and cross the small valley his home was situated in. As he entered the edge of the town of Mor'vec he saw his home and walked up the small pebble walk way to the house, the stones crunching under his feet as he walked. One thing he want grateful for, in fact one of the only things, was his homes location. That it was far away enough from the town that he could distance himself from the 'commoners life', as he would put it, as much as possible. However he did wish he family would get a larger house, not that they couldn't afford it or needed the space, just so he could be more like the rich estates he was commonly associated with. Not friends though, only people he talked to every now and again before he got bored and left again.

[blogdangerousobjectcollecto-blog]

Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

"Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

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Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

Long term car rentals vs expensive car insurance?

So about 2 years ago I got hit with a false DWI in NYC (passed breathalyzer test cops still lied and claimed DWI). But that's another story. Currently I purchased a used Landrover Disco 2. Geico gave me a sweet deal @ $1430/6 months until they ran the DMV report and saw my DWI from 2 years ago. Now my 6 month rate is $3700/6 months. That price is completely rediculous and unaffordable (according to my pockets). Therefore, my question, should I just do long term car rental? I mean I have a super sweet discount that rivals employees discounts @ National and Enterprise Rentals. I'm thinking I could just rent on a month to month basis for less than $3700/every 6 months. The added benefits would be new year car models and the option to trade it in for any vehicle I choose for an entire month. Plus the gas would be less than the Landrovers V8 premium requirement. Basically my question is, should I do long term rentals or run myself broke trying to keep up with insurance and gas prices on top of rent and other expenses?""

WHAT COMPANY PROVIDE THE MOST AFFORDABLE CAR INSURANCE?

IM PAYING ABOUT 350 EVERY 6 MONTH I WAS WONDERING IF THERE MIGHT BE MORE AFFORDABLE CAR INSURANCE OUT THERE.

What is the cheapest auto insurance carrier in north carolina?

What is the cheapest auto insurance carrier in north carolina?

""For a new driver 21 or younger, how much did your monthly car insurance decrease every six months? Every year?""

If you are 21 or younger, and pay for your own car insurance. If you have not had any accidents, or ticket violations applied to your driver's license....How much did your monthly car insurance decrease each year? What was your monthly payment from 16-21 years of age if you did NOT drive a sports car? Please list the state you reside in, and whether you live in the city or suburbs. Thanks.""

Renter's insurance. are these really needed?

never used them, but is considering of using them one day. how much do they cost on average per month?""

If I do not have car insurance...?

and i live with with my grandparents and they have car insurance but i dont, and i have my liscence, can i still drive their car with it not being illegal in the state of Massachusetts? Because i cant afford the insurance and if their car is insured i am told an officer cannot do anything about it, as long as the cars insured im fine, is this true? Thanks!""

Help need car insurance I am 21 and dont want the black box :( help please?

anyone knows where i can get cheap car insurance from like 150 to 200 a month let me know am desperate please.......

Term life insurance - which is a good company?

I have home and car insurance with Allstate for many years. Now, I am looking for term life insurance. I know exactly how much term life insurance I need. Do you know which one is better and cheaper company? I did some research and it looks like Prudential, Allstate, New York Life and State Farm are good companies. One of the criteria I have is that company should be there and should provide good service to my beneficiary if I die during insurance period. Does insurance agent (how good or bad) matter? Or once I decide to a company, then can I go to any agent or should I look for something specific in selecting the agent?""

How would I find out if I got left money from an insurance plan?

How would I find out if I got left money from an insurance plan?

What are the cheapest high risk car insurance companies? I have 2 DWI's!?

I recently got my 2nd DWI. I am looking for some of the cheaper high risk auto insurace companies that I can get in Missouri. Thanks for your help

Where can i get cheap insurance for a 1.8 16v VW coraddo im 17 years old?

Where can i get cheap insurance for a 1.8 16v VW coraddo im 17 years old?I have tried getting a qoute under my dads name who have about 20 years no claims but still coming up as 6000 and i have tell them about my 6 points for no insurance its 8000 HELP!!!!!

""How much will car insurance cost me, roughly (teen driver)?""

I'm a 16 year-old girl, and I'm planning on buying my first car by the time I'm 17. I'm looking for an older car, nothing fancy, just to get around in. I'm also planning on taking Drivers' Ed. My grades are decent too, if that really matters. Do you have any idea what I'm looking at here?""

How much is car insurance for a range rover sport 2010?

I have a friend how is looking to get a 2st hand range rover sport 2010 but Is worried about the insurance. What is the range of car insurance prices I just want a price range if there is anyone out there how has a range rover sport. My friend has been driving for 5 year and has never had an accident.

Car insurance: Progressive vs. State Farm?

I'm currently with Progressive and have been very pleased with their service: I was in an accident in August and the entire process was very smooth and took little effort on my part. I worked with one local agent, dropped my car off at the Progressive repair center where they had my rental waiting for me, and returned the rental there when I came to pick my car up. Plus I never have to wait long to talk to someone when I call. However, I'm newly married and have found we would save a considerable amount by moving my two cars to my husbands policy with State Farm as opposed to moving his car to my policy with Progressive. Please let me know what type of experiences you've had with State Farm and if you would consider their service as excellent as I have with Progressive. Even if State Farm is cheaper, it won't be worth the savings if their service is crummy. Thanks!""

Does a person have to have a drivers liscense to be able to have car insurance?

so i am 17 and just bought a car and my sister which is 19, dont got a drivers liscense. i cant put the car under me coz im 17 but i can put it under her but she doesnt have a drivers liscense. i was wondering if she could get a car insurance even if she didnt have a drivers liscense? i live in vancouver washington if theres different rules in places""

How does car insurance work?

I got my driver's license last January when I turned 16. Our family only drives one car. My dad has insurance for our car under his name. Do I need insurance under MY name to drive the car too?

Can I get medi-cal if I already have health insurance?

I am insured with blue shield in California, and just found out I'm pregnant. My insurance doesn't cover prenatal care. I know my income qualifies me for California's medi-cal coverage for pregnant women, but will having insurance make it so that I won't qualify for medi-cal? Also, my live in boyfriend makes more than the income cap. Will that affect things? I just want to make sure I get some sort of medical care.""

Will my insurance go up more?

So a months ago my car insurance went up because of a driving ticket and i just go another...will my insurance go up even more or what will happen????

Motorcycle insurance for 18yr old first vehicle(sportbike)?

I am considering purchasing a 2007 Kawasaki ninja 250r. I was wondering how much insurance would be for me(18) if it was my first vehicle . I have no prior car insurance history. And I just got a motor license.

How can I take my ohio's driver test without car insurance?

I have my permit, learned how to drive and found a friend who is willing to let me use their car. But Im not covered under anyones insurance. I dont have any family to help. I cant get a car without a license and I cant get that without insurance but I cant get insurance without a car so it doesnt make sense.""

Cheap car insurance in CA?

I'm 19 and am looking to buy a 06/07 Cobalt SS coupe (non-supercharged) and am wondering what the cheapest insurance would be? Personal experience?

Do I need an insurance broker?

What is the role of an insurance broker, simply to find you the best insurance price without having to do it yourself? Do I need to have a broker? I ask because I am trying to lower my insurance costs, but none of the insurance companies my broker deals with can give me a price I am happy with. I have got quotes from insurance companies outside of the ones my insurance broker deals with that are much more appealing financialy. So I guess my question is do I need an insurance broker? Or can I just cancel my current insurance and start a new policy with one of these other companies who can offer me cheaper insurance. thanks""

What makes insurance rates for coupes higher than sedans?

What makes insurance rates for coupes higher than sedans?

""Life insurance is 750,000 enough for 3 kids ?""

is 750,000 enough to get three kids from age 1,3,5 through high school and college or do i need lots more""

If i get a cheap car will my insurance be cheaper or more expensive?

i have a car that i can have given to me it is about 5 years old but cant aford the first years car insurance out right if i sell it and gt a cheaper car will the insurance be cheaper or more expensive because it is an older car? i say this because if so i can sell the car i have and use the money left over to pay for the first ears car insurance. p.s i am a teenage driver which is why im trying to save as much money as i can!

Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

My Car Insurance won't cover this?!?!?

I got into an accident on a rainy day. I did not hold collision or comprehensive. Because I skidded into a ditch and the car rolled, an oil leak occurred. The fire department came and had to put oil dry on the oil leak which was saturating the ground. I hold all the other coverages (liability/property damage, underinsured/uninsured motorist/medical). The fire department bill for the oil leak clean up / hazard removal was $500. The car insurance company says it falls under collision and since I don't have it they don't have to pay out the $500. I insisted it was under liability / property damage as the oil leak is a hazard and causes property damage. Is this fair that they said it falls under collision? Or should I fight it. If so how?""

Whe will liberals admit the affordable health care act has made health care and health insurance?

More expensive already?

What is the cheapest car insurance for a 17 year old young man?

I'm 17 and passed my test a couple of months ago. i've checked websites like go compare and the cheapest car insurance i can get is around 2000 pounds. this is way too high. whats the cheapest i can get? i understand if i go on my mums insurance i could probably get it cheaper. whats can i do to make it cheapest? for example go on my grandma's with 3 other people insured on it or something ? i havent got a car so if anyone could tell me the cheapest car to insure? i understand clios are quite cheap? thankyou

Is there a grace period on car insurance coverage after a cancellation for California with Mercury insurance?

Had coverage with Mercury insurance. Expired 12/05/07, but renewed it on 12/07/07. During the on day lapse was hit by an uninsured vehicle and now Mercury insurance states there is no grace period, so I wanted to know if there is a California law that states other wise?""

Cheap insurance for a 16 year old female?? for a 2009 Toyota Corolla LE?

Student has 4.5 gpa? In California

How much is MOTORCYCLE INSURANCE?????

I am 23. I want to get a sports motorcycle. How much will my insurance be?

How much would car insurance be?

I am an 18 year old college student. I have been driving for no years,no accidents or anything. I was looking at a mitsubishi eclipse gts Spyder yesterday but the insurance was too high and the convertible had something to do with it. Anyways I found a mistsubishi eclipse hatchback GT today and was wondering if it would be lower than the Spyder? Also I'm looking at a 2001 Toyota Celica GT. How much do you think insurance runs on that? Anyways I just want to know before I fall my insurance company""

Motorcycle insurance in the UK?

My husband has just brought a new bike, a Suzuki UH125 Bergman. What is the best and cheapest motorcycle insurance??""

How much did you pay for auto insurance at 18?

I know that it differs depending on where you live, but i just wanted to get a general idea of how much it would be per month. I'm not gonna be under my parent's insurance policy either. so i know that's going to get pretty expensive. Also, i have a 4 door sedan type car. thanks!""

Can't find No fault insurance?

I am looking online and I can't find any site that will give me a quote on no fault auto insurance. Everyone I go to is full coverage and I don't want that. I would say I'm pretty good at finding things online but yahoo or google searches are not giving me the sites I want. Please don't be like this one guy and give me an answer that an computer operator would give me. --- answered by carbuyboy . In order to get no-fault insurance, your state has to be a no-fault state. Only a few are. Since you can't find no-fault, it looks like you don't live in one of the few no-fault states. This does not answer my question at all not even 1% of it.""

Need cheap TAXI CAB insurance... anyone know any companies?!?

Im based in southern California and I'm using a crack pot shop called Fiesta insurance and their thru the roof! I cannot find any Taxi insurers for a growing 2 car company! Need help, I've left messages with numerous companies and the only ones that call back are the ones who don't offer insurance for my needs... ANYONE have any info? I'd be most grateful!""

Driver's Test Insurance?

Im going to take the driver's test next month but have no insurance. The car is under my dad's name and is insured under his name. Can I use his car and insurance for the test or do I have to get my own insurance for it?

""I'm about to take my driving test & want to buy a new car, any recommendations for cheap purchase & insurance?""

I'm about to take my driving test & want to buy a new car, any recommendations for cheap purchase & insurance?""

Can I buy a car for someone and them pay insurance and registration?

Basically Drive and maintain my car? I'm buying it for her. I will register it in my name. I live in NV, so I need to register it here in NV. Title, Loan, and Registration will be in my name. Can she legally insure the vehicle, solely? Does she need to add me onto the insurance policy? Is it OK for her to drive it in Cali, where she lives, with it registered to me here in Vegas? What are some possible unforeseen problems that may arise, besides: If towed I need to get it out. If tickets unpaid or loan not paid upon, I get the flack and bad history, and fines. Please help! feedback needed! OF COURSE ITS NOT A GOOD IDEA, BUT IF I CHOOSE TO DO IT, I want to be aware of it all, just asking for some heads up and feedback, please! Thanks!""

How can i get affordable insurance for my pregnant wife?

im not sure what my options are at this point. my wife is 4 months pregant and her temporary 45 day medical has expired and healthy families wont accept her. we've tried to apply for medical before but were denied due to my income. my income looks more than it is since i have to spend over $500 a month in gas with no compensation. we have very little wiggle room when it comes to income. is there something out there that may be able to help us. we also have two other children but i was able to get them healthy families

Relief based health insurance in MN...please help?

I am considering garnishing wages of someone that I won a judgement against. The court administrator told me that the person is exempt if they are currently or have recently been a recepient of relief based on need. She could not answer whether or not MinnesotaCare (health insurance) is relief based. The insurance related examples listed on the form she gave me are: Medical Assistance, General Assistance, General Assistance Medical Care, and Emergency General Assistance. I know that Medical Assistance and MinnesotaCare are separate things, but can anyone tell me if MNCare is considered relief based??""

Teen insurance cost on a leased c300?

i just got my license, and i am 16 going to be 17 in 2 months :) i wanted to know how much insurance is for a new leased c300 mercedes.""

Affordable Dental Insurance? Can it be true?

I recently lost my job. I would like a separate dental insurance plan besides my basic health insurance. I wonder if anyone else is feeling the pain like me. Any suggestions?

Do I buy car insurance before buying a car from a private party?

I'm buying a car this weekend from a private seller (we are just waiting for the duplicate title to come in the mail; she lost the original). Money won't be exchanged until ...show more

How can i sell truck insurance?

appointed agent to sell truck insurance

Which insurance company has the quickest claim?

Okay so I want to know which insurance company would give me the quickest claim without any problems between: state farm, farmers, hardford, and all state?""

""Best insurance business (All State, Farmers or State Farm)?""

I am seriously considering becoming an insurance agent for State Farm, Farmers or All State, but I don't know which company is the best choice for me, I am bilingual in Spanish, so I am looking for a company that is going after the Hispanic Market. I have heard some bad things about Farmers, so my decision might be State Farm or All State. Nationwide is doing a great advertising campaing in the Spanish market, does anybody know if they offer agency jobs. I am open to other suggestions. Any help/Suggestions is very much appreciated. Gracias""

Buying a used car and purchasing a car insurance in Tucson?

Hi. Im going to study in tucson for the next 2 years as an international student. I want to buy a car, and I am looking for a place that would be known to sell used cars at a fair price (I am not looking for something more than 7-8000). It would also be nice it those car would come with a warranty. Do you know good places for that? Also if you can advice me with car insurance that would be nice. Thank you a lot!""

I need a job to save for college and driver's ed?

I'll be 16 next month and I need a job badly. I'm saving up for driver's ed, a car, insurance, and an apartment for college. I've tried restaurants, burger joints, etc. But everyone seems to be on hiring freezes or is only hiring adults. I need to start saving indepently because my parents can't support me forever. What are some job options for a 16 year old f in ma?""

Why does a civic cost more to insure than a golf for teens?

both are 1.4 litre engine but the civic costs atleast 1500 more to insure?!? whaaat? is it because the civic has the impression of a ricer car?

Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

Would Transformers have auto insurance or life insurance?

Would Transformers have auto insurance or life insurance?

Car insurance keeps going up despite excellent driving record?

I have had car insurance through shelter for going on 4 years.ive had no traffic tickets at all no accidents nothing ! But yet my monthly amount keeps changing.It has went from around $92 then I added a my car alarm system got a discount it went to $72 for a few months.then to $82. For the past 4 months now I got a letter saying my next payment due is $107 . That $20 dollar increase.??? I'm getting very fed up with shelter I'm a new mom and it's hard enough to pay my bills as it is I recently got married does that change ur car insurance ? He has no license because of something that happened around 10 years ago . When i report I'm married is it going to help or hurt me? I do not have any intentions of adding him to my policy but just was wondering if I will get a discount from being (married) now? I know most company's give discounts because they seem to think married ppl drive more safely.

Can I lose my job for not having insurance?

I have heard so many different things. But I called my job today and I found out that they are offering insurance but it is to high to buy for me because it would cost $30 per week. ...show more

Do I have to add my roommate on my auto insurance policy?

My roommate and I each have a car but we don't share the same insurance policy. He has his own and I have mine. I just got auto insurance for my new car and the agent was telling me that I should add people living with me, but his driving record is bad and I don't want it to raise my premium. The agent said that anyone who doesn't live with me can drive my car and they'll be covered, but because my roommate lives with me, he won't be covered even though he has a different policy.""

Best car insurance company to use?

I am 22 and just traded my 2003 VW beetle for a 2010 honda civic LX (which is being financed). I use 21st Century and they're going to raise my rate by a couple hundred dollars per year. I pay every 6 months. I feel like this is too much. Even though I'm not yet 25, it seems a little excessive. Are there any suggested insurance companies with a more competitive rate? BTW I'm in California if that makes a difference...""

What modifications can increase car insurance?

Hi, Can just cosmetically changing the car increase car insurance for instance- alloy wheels and a minor body kit? I understand that performance modifications can for example- exhaust, sports air filters etc. Can anyone help me here? Query.""

Car insurance quote?

I am a 17 year old boy in Texas I just bought a white 1999 Pontiac Grand Am GT 2 door Paid with Cash I've never had a ticket or anything on my record Does anyone know about how much my insurance will run?

""I was informed that my surgery will not be covered by my insurance, and so what can I do?

Is there an additional insurance I can buy immediately or a California option to get me through this?

Insurance on a Subaru Impreza WRX Wagon.?

Would someone like please tell me how much insurance would run me on 2004 Subaru Impreza WRX wagon? I know that its not cheap, which I'm ok with. I just figured that it would be a little cheaper being that its a wagon, and I would also like to get a heads up b4 I talk to the insurance company P.S. If you have just an RS Impreza or a normal WRX you can also let me know how much that runs too. Either one is fine.. Thanks guys!""

""What does SB Insurance mean, 9.95 a month on a credit card paper statement? Chase bank?""

What does SB Insurance mean, 9.95 a month on a credit card paper statement? Chase bank?""

Cheapest insurance for a 17 year old lad?

the cheap quote ive got is 4800!! This is ridiculous, is there any cheaper way of insuring myself? does anyone know what the cheapest car to insure is? or something i really need to get on the road as i have just passed my test but 3000 for insurance is about my limit...""

What is the best car insurance company for a graduate student?

What is the best car insurance company for a graduate student?

Car insurance and more than one car?

I don't know much about car insurance but I do know it's pretty expensive. What if you have more than one car, would you have to buy insurance for both of them? If that's true how can anyone afford more than one car... and do they have discounts if the same family have more than one car? If you don't mind can you tell me how much you are paying for you're car insurance?""

Cheapest car insurance? Don't care if my car gets damaged.?

Hi, I have a really old car that I just want to use to get around town. I don't care if it gets damaged in a crash or whatever, because it already looks terrible. SO, how do I get the most basic and cheapest car insurance? Does anybody know what company will charge the least for insurance?""

When you buy a brand new car off the showroom do you still need insurance for uk?

if you buy a brand new car and if it has gaurantee do you still need insurance?

Cheap Auto Insurance for someone under 21?

The lowest auto insurance rates I can find wants me to pay like 340 a month I want to know if someone knows of a auto insurance that has a monthly fee of 200 at the most high or low deductibles do not matter buut there has to be a deductible anyone know a auto insurance that can offer me this Thanks

Car insurance for MERCEDES BENZE?

WOULD LIKE A GUIDE TO THE BEST TYPE OF CAR INSURANCE FOR MY 2003 MERC/

How much does car insurance cost?

I have a land rover that costed 51,120 pounds and I cannot drive it until I have insurance on it, so I was wondering how much car insurance would cost?""

How many of you are paying around $200 for car insurance..?

if so what kind of car do you have..? i am trying to get a car pay it in cash and just pay for the car insurance..

""Where can I get good motorcycle insurance in Ontario, Canada?

I am getting a 2007 Honda CBR 125 and I need to get a good insurance quote.

How can i get health insurance?

I'm no longer on my father's insurance plan which he gets from his job. I'm not working right now and I'm not in school either. I'm going to have to go to the dentist soon for a check up, to get a chipped tooth fixed and maybe to get invisaline. I also have to go to an opthomalagist because i'm considering contacts again, either contacts or prescription sunglasses. And I'm gonna have to go to the doctor at some point. I know all of that will cost a hell of a lot of money without insurance. I can't afford to pay for that. Is there a way I can pay for insurance that will cover dental, eye doctors and a regular physician without having a job with insurance benefits? How much would I be expected to pay? Is it monthly? Would there be a copay? Thanks for any help you can give me.""

Insurance.....?

My storage builing was broken into and some of my things were stolen... i have insurance on it and I called the insurance company to report it. I'm waiting for the adjuster to call me back to see what all was taken... what can I expect? Are they gonna have to do alot of research... how long is this gonna take?

Cheapest women car insurance on a provisional?

im 23. got my own car, white, k reg, clio, automatic (1993) im only on a provisional license an ive found so far that my quotes r not very good. my highest as been 2027.57 an my lowest is 678.98 will i get anything lower. i know its cos of my age an cos im the main driver but if any women or men know any insurance companys that ave good lower prices then help me out thanks u never know wot ur get in return lol""

What's the best dental insurance provider for an individual that is not through an employer benefit package

I'm a freelancer so I can't really get insurance through my employer now. But I need to get my wisdom teeth removed, and will need braces as well. I may need jaw surgery eventually too. So what is the best dental insurance for individuals. Only respond if you have got the insurance yourself and are pleased with it.""

If I bought car insurance in one state and then move to different state do I have to buy new insurance?

I bought insurance for the year in one state but just moved to a different state where I will have to register my car again and get a new license plate. If I already paid for the year, do I have to get new insurance? If I do have to get new insurance, can I get my money back because I didn't drive for the whole year while under my insurance company's policy?""

Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

Blackstone Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 23824

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