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spngi · 11 months ago

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My tears ricochet | mafia!carlos sainz jr x reader

Prologue | part 1 | part 2

Part 3

summary: Mr. and Mrs. Sainz lived in a dream for many years, now everything is falling apart and they need to deal with their feelings

warnings: Grammar mistakes, mentions of violence, Carlos is an idiot, mentions of cheating, sexual content

It's already late when I decide to leave the bedroom at last, I clean myself and try to clean up all the remnants of that day, as if hot water and the freshness of lavender were going to prepare me to expel a guest who was not welcome.

Lando was right earlier, Carlos was playing with me and I couldn't let him win, not without fighting first.

I go down the stairs slowly, my bare feet echoing on the floor. I don't need to get ready for this, I don't need my armor of dresses and heels this time. I'm in my own house and that's why I could wander around barefoot in my pijamas set giving orders and being respected. I didn't need to sit on a couch waiting, in a place where no one respected me like the woman in front of me.

"Oh, you're still there" I smile coldly when I get to the last steps of the stairs. "He forgot about you there?"

She stares at me and doesn't know how to answer or if she should answer, I observe her figure trying to understand which of her parts caught Carlos' attention. Straight blond hair or black eyes or the way she just looks like a helpless lady sitting there.

"He had an important meeting," she finally replies, her voice sounds around the room in an annoying way.

"The code for beers and poker" I look at my nails and sigh "boys' moment or something like that, you know how it is"

"Carlos wouldn't lie to me" she defends herself and I can't help but smile when I sit in the big armchair in front of her, the armchair that used to sit with Carlos and read books together.

"I don't think we're talking about the same Carlos... Don't forget, girl, you're talking to his wife, why can't a man who keeps a mistress lie?" My eyes are cold when I stare at her. "You're just playing the role of a fool waiting for him"

Martina still looks at me insecure, she tries not to listen to what I'm saying but I still see the slight doubt in her look.

"Why don't you see it for yourself? The third door on the left going up the stairs" she thinks for a few seconds with my words and then finally raises the search for carlos.

I let myself relax in the armchair, enjoying the moment. Carlos was so predictable, a man of habits and he couldn't leave them. We had many habits, the nights of date on Thursdays, Sunday mornings of laziness and followed by the night with card games, brunch in our favorite restaurant every Thursday. And of course we had our moments alone, and for Carlos the Wednesday nights were intended for gambling and drinks with the guys.

I don't need to wait long to be able to hear the hurried steps and the loud voices getting closer. I can't help but smile, it's restorative to know that I managed to hit Carlos in his own game, and even more restorative to see his mistress running down the stairs avoiding his calls, she passes like a hurricane through the house going towards the exit and when Carlos finally reaches the end of the stairs the big entrance door hits in a loud sound, announcing the girl's exit.

I squeeze my eyes to the noise, Carlos stays there looking at the door as if he thought about what to do, whether he should run after it or stay. He stays, runs his hands through his hair and then turns around, he sees me and seems surprised to have me there.

"Whet did you say to her?" He tries to connect the facts and walks towards me.

I arch my eyebrows at his suggestion. "I could ask you the same thing, since it was from you that she was running, dear"

"Y/n" he calls impatient, trying to gather some confession of mine.

"Do you really think i would waste my time with her, Carlos? I'm not you to do that."

He snorts angry with himself, rubs his face with his hands and remains there, standing in front of me in the living room, his eyes stopped, watching nothing in the room.

"We ordered food for dinner, you could join us if you want," he says, and his invitation is strange.

He doesn't expect me to answer, so he turns around and goes back to the stairs.

My smile increases, the realization of this moment shows me what I needed to know the most at this moment.

Carlos didn't love that woman.

Not when he let her go without any problem, not when at no time did he think about going after her, when he didn't even bother to open the door to see where she was.

Carlos didn't love her, it could not mean anything or it could mean that I could still make him love me again.

It would be much easier when you don't have a competitor.

I get up from the armchair, smooth the long blue robe that goes down to my ankles and go up the stairs behind Carlos.

I smile as I approach and listen to the laughter and loud talk of the men, the house seemed alive in moments like this. I knoll on the door and then enter the room reserved for games, Carlos and the boys sitting at the table playing cards with beers in hand.

They smile when they see me enter the room.

"Mrs Sainz, can you ask your husband to stop stealing in the game, please?" One of them asks and I smile.

"I can guess who is winning then..." I joke and take the opportunity to get closer to the table where they are.

"Stealing," says Charles with a frowned forehead staring at the cards in his hand.

"Don't mind, they're terrible losers." Carlos grumbles concentrated on his game, I stop behind him and observe the cards he has in his hand.

"Good game" I whisper in his ear and walk away to get a beer for me.

I join their poker game, laughing with the comments made and happy to be there. Those people had become part of our family over time, not only because they were part of all Carlos' business but because they followed our history and were there sharing several of these special moments.

The night passes quickly, between several matches and the boys taking each other's foot, it is noticeable to my eyes that Carlos avoids contact with me and only speaks eventually, when he is called in the conversation.

When everyone leaves and there is only the two of us left in the room, I watch him from the other side of the table, the clear distance between the two of us. His invitation today was empty, I was there but he didn't crave my company and I could try to live with it.

"Why do you hate me?" I'm finally asking.

"I don't hate you," he replies, not taking the trouble to take his eyes off the beer bottle in his hand and I can't help but snort his answer.

"You can't even sit next to me carlos" I point to the table between us and get up to get close to him "you don't even look into my eyes when answering me"

He raises his head and looks me in the eyes, trying to prove a point like a child. I close the distance between us, sit on his lap and watch how tense he gets. "You wouldn't be doing this to me if you didn't hate me" I whisper to him, take the beer out of his hands and take a sip.

"Are you talking about the divorce?" He asks and I deny it with my head and lean over to put the bottle on the table, his hands hold my waist involuntarily, trying to prevent me from unbalancing.

"I'm talking about what you did today, what you've been doing in the last few weeks..."

"You know things weren't working out between us anymore, y/n," he murmurs.

"You didn't even make an effort to do that, Carlos." I answer and he sighs, lowers his head tired of that conversation. It was as if every time I talked to him I made him bored.

"Did you ever think about how I felt?" I ask him, I hold his face and look him in the eyes. "You pushed me away and betrayed me, and if that wasn't enough, you brought your mistress to our home."

"Don't bring Martina to this story, our problems are between the two of us"

"Well, I think I can bring it down in history, Carlos. Since she has become one of our problems" I breathe and lean closer to him "how would you feel if I did the same? If I found a man and let him touch me in places that only you could? If I bring him to our house, the house we were going to raise our children, and let him lie on the bed that you and I shared?" With every word I say Carlos' grip seems to get more tense, his jaw gets tense and his eyes shine with anger, one of his hands goes down to my thigh, the strong and warm touch on the fabric of the robe. "And even so I wouldn't be able to do that, because just the idea of letting someone other than you touch me makes me want to vomit. And yet you were able to do that."

I allow myself to take advantage of this unique moment of proximity to observe Carlos, he can't find words and stays there thinking, I used to find these episodes funny where he was just thinking and looking at nothing and with his face full of expression, I observe his brown eyes and how his eyelashes stretch, I let my hand go through his well-made beard.

In a sudden movement he takes my hand off his face and kisses me, it's surprising, his hands pull me closer to his body, and hold me against him, his mouth is demanding against mine. My hands are divided between pulling his hair and going down way through his chest, his hands undo the knot of the robe and I let it slide to the floor, leaving the view of my nightgown and skin exposed to him.

It is surprising to have this reaction from my husband when everything I have had from him in recent times was to be removed, from every time I tried to touch or kiss him and I just ended up being dismissed, and from all the other times I appeared in only one set of lingerie in his office or in the room that he was sleeping I received only a roll of eyes and a request to me to dress coming from him.

I walk away trying to catch my breath and concentrate on kissing the skin of his neck, Carlos' heart shoots under my hand and I can't help but smile at the curve of his neck. His hands reach my ass and I rub my body on his.

Carlos holds my neck and makes me look at him, "never think about letting another man touch you" he declares and kisses me again, gets more and more messy, mouths and teeth, increasingly risky touches and muffled moans, and I know that if I don't stop now I won't have the strength to stop later. And to be able to recover Carlos, I need him desperate for me.

"Carlos" I call him who just murmurs with his mouth on my neck, I pull his chin for him to look at me. "We have only two options here and divorce is not one of them, or you get rid of the girl and have me forever or we will live in this house together without belonging to each other"

"What do you mean by that?" Carlos asks, his voice seems confused and his touch is comforting on my skin, he continues to caress my body, like so many times before we were in this position.

"That or you have me just for you, or you're going to share me with someone" I give you one last kiss on your lips and get up.

I leave my robe there, the short nightgown covering only what is necessary. Carlos still seems in shock when he sees me going out, sitting in his chair, messy hair and fast breathing.

"Good night, my love" I smile at him before leaving for my room.

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #cs55 #cs55 x reader #angst #carlos sainz au #f1 fic #mob!carlos sainz #mafia au #mafia!f1 #máfia!carlos sainz

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