#Magic engine download

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

what’s the story about the generative power model and water consumption? /gen

There's this myth going around about generative AI consuming truly ridiculous amount of power and water. You'll see people say shit like "generating one image is like just pouring a whole cup of water out into the Sahara!" and bullshit like that, and it's just... not true. The actual truth is that supercomputers, which do a lot of stuff, use a lot of power, and at one point someone released an estimate of how much power some supercomputers were using and people went "oh, that supercomputer must only do AI! All generative AI uses this much power!" and then just... made shit up re: how making an image sucks up a huge chunk of the power grid or something. Which makes no sense because I'm given to understand that many of these models can run on your home computer. (I don't use them so I don't know the details, but I'm told by users that you can download them and generate images locally.) Using these models uses far less power than, say, online gaming. Or using Tumblr. But nobody ever talks about how evil those things are because of their power generation. I wonder why.

To be clear, I don't like generative AI. I'm sure it's got uses in research and stuff but on the consumer side, every effect I've seen of it is bad. Its implementation in products that I use has always made those products worse. The books it writes and flood the market with are incoherent nonsense at best and dangerous at worst (let's not forget that mushroom foraging guide). It's turned the usability of search engines from "rapidly declining, but still usable if you can get past the ads" into "almost one hundred per cent useless now, actually not worth the effort to de-bullshittify your search results", especially if you're looking for images. It's a tool for doing bullshit that people were already doing much easier and faster, thus massively increasing the amount of bullshit. The only consumer-useful uses I've seen of it as a consumer are niche art projects, usually projects that explore the limits of the tool itself like that one poetry book or the Infinite Art Machine; overall I'd say its impact at the Casual Random Person (me) level has been overwhelmingly negative. Also, the fact that so much AI turns out to be underpaid people in a warehouse in some country with no minimum wage and terrible labour protections is... not great. And the fact that it's often used as an excuse to try to find ways to underpay professionals ("you don't have to write it, just clean up what the AI came up with!") is also not great.

But there are real labour and product quality concerns with generative AI, and there's hysterical bullshit. And the whole "AI is magically destroying the planet via climate change but my four hour twitch streaming sesh isn't" thing is hysterical bullshit. The instant I see somebody make this stupid claim I put them in the same mental bucket as somebody complaining about AI not being "real art" -- a hatemobber hopping on the hype train of a new thing to hate and feel like an enlightened activist about when they haven't bothered to learn a fucking thing about the issue. And I just count my blessings that they fell in with this group instead of becoming a flat earther or something.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Google’s enshittification memos

[Note, 9 October 2023: Google disputes the veracity of this claim, but has declined to provide the exhibits and testimony to support its claims. Read more about this here.]

When I think about how the old, good internet turned into the enshitternet, I imagine a series of small compromises, each seemingly reasonable at the time, each contributing to a cultural norm of making good things worse, and worse, and worse.

Think about Unity President Marc Whitten's nonpology for his company's disastrous rug-pull, in which they declared that everyone who had paid good money to use their tool to make a game would have to keep paying, every time someone downloaded that game:

The most fundamental thing that we’re trying to do is we’re building a sustainable business for Unity. And for us, that means that we do need to have a model that includes some sort of balancing change, including shared success.

https://www.wired.com/story/unity-walks-back-policies-lost-trust/

"Shared success" is code for, "If you use our tool to make money, we should make money too." This is bullshit. It's like saying, "We just want to find a way to share the success of the painters who use our brushes, so every time you sell a painting, we want to tax that sale." Or "Every time you sell a house, the company that made the hammer gets to wet its beak."

And note that they're not talking about shared risk here – no one at Unity is saying, "If you try to make a game with our tools and you lose a million bucks, we're on the hook for ten percent of your losses." This isn't partnership, it's extortion.

How did a company like Unity – which became a market leader by making a tool that understood the needs of game developers and filled them – turn into a protection racket? One bad decision at a time. One rationalization and then another. Slowly, and then all at once.

When I think about this enshittification curve, I often think of Google, a company that had its users' backs for years, which created a genuinely innovative search engine that worked so well it seemed like *magic, a company whose employees often had their pick of jobs, but chose the "don't be evil" gig because that mattered to them.

People make fun of that "don't be evil" motto, but if your key employees took the gig because they didn't want to be evil, and then you ask them to be evil, they might just quit. Hell, they might make a stink on the way out the door, too:

https://theintercept.com/2018/09/13/google-china-search-engine-employee-resigns/

Google is a company whose founders started out by publishing a scientific paper describing their search methodology, in which they said, "Oh, and by the way, ads will inevitably turn your search engine into a pile of shit, so we're gonna stay the fuck away from them":

http://infolab.stanford.edu/pub/papers/google.pdf

Those same founders retained a controlling interest in the company after it went IPO, explaining to investors that they were going to run the business without having their elbows jostled by shortsighted Wall Street assholes, so they could keep it from turning into a pile of shit:

https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/

And yet, it's turned into a pile of shit. Google search is so bad you might as well ask Jeeves. The company's big plan to fix it? Replace links to webpages with florid paragraphs of chatbot nonsense filled with a supremely confident lies:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/14/googles-ai-hype-circle/

How did the company get this bad? In part, this is the "curse of bigness." The company can't grow by attracting new users. When you have 90%+ of the market, there are no new customers to sign up. Hypothetically, they could grow by going into new lines of business, but Google is incapable of making a successful product in-house and also kills most of the products it buys from other, more innovative companies:

https://killedbygoogle.com/

Theoretically, the company could pursue new lines of business in-house, and indeed, the current leaders of companies like Amazon, Microsoft and Apple are all execs who figured out how to get the whole company to do something new, and were elevated to the CEO's office, making each one a billionaire and sealing their place in history.

It is for this very reason that any exec at a large firm who tries to make a business-wide improvement gets immediately and repeatedly knifed by all their colleagues, who correctly reason that if someone else becomes CEO, then they won't become CEO. Machiavelli was an optimist:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/

With no growth from new customers, and no growth from new businesses, "growth" has to come from squeezing workers (say, laying off 12,000 engineers after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years), or business customers (say, by colluding with Facebook to rig the ad market with the Jedi Blue conspiracy), or end-users.

Now, in theory, we might never know exactly what led to the enshittification of Google. In theory, all of compromises, debates and plots could be lost to history. But tech is not an oral culture, it's a written one, and techies write everything down and nothing is ever truly deleted.

Time and again, Big Tech tells on itself. Think of FTX's main conspirators all hanging out in a group chat called "Wirefraud." Amazon naming its program targeting weak, small publishers the "Gazelle Project" ("approach these small publishers the way a cheetah would pursue a sickly gazelle”). Amazon documenting the fact that users were unknowingly signing up for Prime and getting pissed; then figuring out how to reduce accidental signups, then deciding not to do it because it liked the money too much. Think of Zuck emailing his CFO in the middle of the night to defend his outsized offer to buy Instagram on the basis that users like Insta better and Facebook couldn't compete with them on quality.

It's like every Big Tech schemer has a folder on their desktop called "Mens Rea" filled with files like "Copy_of_Premeditated_Murder.docx":

https://doctorow.medium.com/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself-f7f0eb6d215a?sk=351f8a54ab8e02d7340620e5eec5024d

Right now, Google's on trial for its sins against antitrust law. It's a hard case to make. To secure a win, the prosecutors at the DoJ Antitrust Division are going to have to prove what was going on in Google execs' minds when the took the actions that led to the company's dominance. They're going to have to show that the company deliberately undertook to harm its users and customers.

Of course, it helps that Google put it all in writing.

Last week, there was a huge kerfuffile over the DoJ's practice of posting its exhibits from the trial to a website each night. This is a totally normal thing to do – a practice that dates back to the Microsoft antitrust trial. But Google pitched a tantrum over this and said that the docs the DoJ were posting would be turned into "clickbait." Which is another way of saying, "the public would find these documents very interesting, and they would be damning to us and our case":

https://www.bigtechontrial.com/p/secrecy-is-systemic

After initially deferring to Google, Judge Amit Mehta finally gave the Justice Department the greenlight to post the document. It's up. It's wild:

https://www.justice.gov/d9/2023-09/416692.pdf

The document is described as "notes for a course on communication" that Google VP for Finance Michael Roszak prepared. Roszak says he can't remember whether he ever gave the presentation, but insists that the remit for the course required him to tell students "things I didn't believe," and that's why the document is "full of hyperbole and exaggeration."

OK.

But here's what the document says: "search advertising is one of the world's greatest business models ever created…illicit businesses (cigarettes or drugs) could rival these economics…[W]e can mostly ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers, ad formats and sales."

It goes on to say that this might be changing, and proposes a way to balance the interests of the search and ads teams, which are at odds, with search worrying that ads are pushing them to produce "unnatural search experiences to chase revenue."

"Unnatural search experiences to chase revenue" is a thinly veiled euphemism for the prophetic warnings in that 1998 Pagerank paper: "The goals of the advertising business model do not always correspond to providing quality search to users." Or, more plainly, "ads will turn our search engine into a pile of shit."

And, as Roszak writes, Google is "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand." That is, the company has become so dominant and cemented its position so thoroughly as the default search engine across every platforms and system that even if it makes its search terrible to goose revenues, users won't leave. As Lily Tomlin put it on SNL: "We don't have to care, we're the phone company."

In the enshittification cycle, companies first lure in users with surpluses – like providing the best search results rather than the most profitable ones – with an eye to locking them in. In Google's case, that lock-in has multiple facets, but the big one is spending billions of dollars – enough to buy a whole Twitter, every single year – to be the default search everywhere.

Google doesn't buy its way to dominance because it has the very best search results and it wants to shield you from inferior competitors. The economically rational case for buying default position is that preventing competition is more profitable than succeeding by outperforming competitors. The best reason to buy the default everywhere is that it lets you lower quality without losing business. You can "ignore the demand side, and only focus on advertisers."

For a lot of people, the analysis stops here. "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product." Google locks in users and sells them to advertisers, who are their co-conspirators in a scheme to screw the rest of us.

But that's not right. For one thing, paying for a product doesn't mean you won't be the product. Apple charges a thousand bucks for an iPhone and then nonconsensually spies on every iOS user in order to target ads to them (and lies about it):

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

John Deere charges six figures for its tractors, then runs a grift that blocks farmers from fixing their own machines, and then uses their control over repair to silence farmers who complain about it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/31/dealers-choice/#be-a-shame-if-something-were-to-happen-to-it

Fair treatment from a corporation isn't a loyalty program that you earn by through sufficient spending. Companies that can sell you out, will sell you out, and then cry victim, insisting that they were only doing their fiduciary duty for their sacred shareholders. Companies are disciplined by fear of competition, regulation or – in the case of tech platforms – customers seizing the means of computation and installing ad-blockers, alternative clients, multiprotocol readers, etc:

https://doctorow.medium.com/an-audacious-plan-to-halt-the-internets-enshittification-and-throw-it-into-reverse-3cc01e7e4604?sk=85b3f5f7d051804521c3411711f0b554

Which is where the next stage of enshittification comes in: when the platform withdraws the surplus it had allocated to lure in – and then lock in – business customers (like advertisers) and reallocate it to the platform's shareholders.

For Google, there are several rackets that let it screw over advertisers as well as searchers (the advertisers are paying for the product, and they're also the product). Some of those rackets are well-known, like Jedi Blue, the market-rigging conspiracy that Google and Facebook colluded on:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue

But thanks to the antitrust trial, we're learning about more of these. Megan Gray – ex-FTC, ex-DuckDuckGo – was in the courtroom last week when evidence was presented on Google execs' panic over a decline in "ad generating searches" and the sleazy gimmick they came up with to address it: manipulating the "semantic matching" on user queries:

https://www.wired.com/story/google-antitrust-lawsuit-search-results/

When you send a query to Google, it expands that query with terms that are similar – for example, if you search on "Weds" it might also search for "Wednesday." In the slides shown in the Google trial, we learned about another kind of semantic matching that Google performed, this one intended to turn your search results into "a twisted shopping mall you can’t escape."

Here's how that worked: when you ran a query like "children's clothing," Google secretly appended the brand name of a kids' clothing manufacturer to the query. This, in turn, triggered a ton of ads – because rival brands will have bought ads against their competitors' name (like Pepsi buying ads that are shown over queries for Coke).

Here we see surpluses being taken away from both end-users and business customers – that is, searchers and advertisers. For searchers, it doesn't matter how much you refine your query, you're still going to get crummy search results because there's an unkillable, hidden search term stuck to your query, like a piece of shit that Google keeps sticking to the sole of your shoe.

But for advertisers, this is also a scam. They're paying to be matched to users who search on a brand name, and you didn't search on that brand name. It's especially bad for the company whose name has been appended to your search, because Google has a protection racket where the company that matches your search has to pay extra in order to show up overtop of rivals who are worse matches. Both the matching company and those rivals have given Google a credit-card that Google gets to bill every time a user searches on the company's name, and Google is just running fraudulent charges through those cards.

And, of course, Google put this in writing. I mean, of course they did. As we learned from the documentary The Incredibles, supervillains can't stop themselves from monologuing, and in big, sprawling monopolists, these monologues have to transmitted electronically – and often indelibly – to far-flung co-cabalists.

As Gray points out, this is an incredibly blunt enshittification technique: "it hadn’t even occurred to me that Google just flat out deletes queries and replaces them with ones that monetize better." We don't know how long Google did this for or how frequently this bait-and-switch was deployed.

But if this is a blunt way of Google smashing its fist down on the scales that balance search quality against ad revenues, there's plenty of subtler ways the company could sneak a thumb on there. A Google exec at the trial rhapsodized about his company's "contract with the user" to deliver an "honest results policy," but given how bad Google search is these days, we're left to either believe he's lying or that Google sucks at search.

The paper trail offers a tantalizing look at how a company went from doing something that was so good it felt like a magic trick to being "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand," able to "ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers."

What's more, this is a system where everyone loses (except for Google): this isn't a grift run by Google and advertisers on users – it's a grift Google runs on everyone.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

[ecrivainsolitaire]

A summary of the Chinese AI situation, for the uninitiated.

These are scores on different tests that are designed to see how accurate a Large Language Model is in different areas of knowledge. As you know, OpenAI is partners with Microsoft, so these are the scores for ChatGPT and Copilot. DeepSeek is the Chinese model that got released a week ago. The rest are open source models, which means everyone is free to use them as they please, including the average Tumblr user. You can run them from the servers of the companies that made them for a subscription, or you can download them to install locally on your own computer. However, the computer requirements so far are so high that only a few people currently have the machines at home required to run it.

Yes, this is why AI uses so much electricity. As with any technology, the early models are highly inefficient. Think how a Ford T needed a long chimney to get rid of a ton of black smoke, which was unused petrol. Over the next hundred years combustion engines have become much more efficient, but they still waste a lot of energy, which is why we need to move towards renewable electricity and sustainable battery technology. But that's a topic for another day.

As you can see from the scores, are around the same accuracy. These tests are in constant evolution as well: as soon as they start becoming obsolete, new ones are released to adjust for a more complicated benchmark. The new models are trained using different machine learning techniques, and in theory, the goal is to make them faster and more efficient so they can operate with less power, much like modern cars use way less energy and produce far less pollution than the Ford T.

However, computing power requirements kept scaling up, so you're either tied to the subscription or forced to pay for a latest gen PC, which is why NVIDIA, AMD, Intel and all the other chip companies were investing hard on much more powerful GPUs and NPUs. For now all we need to know about those is that they're expensive, use a lot of electricity, and are required to operate the bots at superhuman speed (literally, all those clickbait posts about how AI was secretly 150 Indian men in a trenchcoat were nonsense).

Because the chip companies have been working hard on making big, bulky, powerful chips with massive fans that are up to the task, their stock value was skyrocketing, and because of that, everyone started to use AI as a marketing trend. See, marketing people are not smart, and they don't understand computers. Furthermore, marketing people think you're stupid, and because of their biased frame of reference, they think you're two snores short of brain-dead. The entire point of their existence is to turn tall tales into capital. So they don't know or care about what AI is or what it's useful for. They just saw Number Go Up for the AI companies and decided "AI is a magic cow we can milk forever". Sometimes it's not even AI, they just use old software and rebrand it, much like convection ovens became air fryers.

Well, now we're up to date. So what did DepSeek release that did a 9/11 on NVIDIA stock prices and popped the AI bubble?

Oh, I would not want to be an OpenAI investor right now either. A token is basically one Unicode character (it's more complicated than that but you can google that on your own time). That cost means you could input the entire works of Stephen King for under a dollar. Yes, including electricity costs. DeepSeek has jumped from a Ford T to a Subaru in terms of pollution and water use.

The issue here is not only input cost, though; all that data needs to be available live, in the RAM; this is why you need powerful, expensive chips in order to-

Holy shit.

I'm not going to detail all the numbers but I'm going to focus on the chip required: an RTX 3090. This is a gaming GPU that came out as the top of the line, the stuff South Korean LoL players buy…

Or they did, in September 2020. We're currently two generations ahead, on the RTX 5090.

What this is telling all those people who just sold their high-end gaming rig to be able to afford a machine that can run the latest ChatGPT locally, is that the person who bought it from them can run something basically just as powerful on their old one.

Which means that all those GPUs and NPUs that are being made, and all those deals Microsoft signed to have control of the AI market, have just lost a lot of their pulling power.

Well, I mean, the ChatGPT subscription is 20 bucks a month, surely the Chinese are charging a fortune for-

Oh. So it's free for everyone and you can use it or modify it however you want, no subscription, no unpayable electric bill, no handing Microsoft all of your private data, you can just run it on a relatively inexpensive PC. You could probably even run it on a phone in a couple years.

Oh, if only China had massive phone manufacturers that have a foot in the market everywhere except the US because the president had a tantrum eight years ago.

So… yeah, China just destabilised the global economy with a torrent file.

[whyeverr]

AKOGARE NO PARIS (憧れのパリ)

Step into a dreamy, Studio Ghibli-inspired take on Europe — filtered through an Eastern lens and sprinkled with just a bit of magic. This trio of adjoining storefronts brings to life akogare no Paris — "the Paris of our dreams" — a romanticized, fantasy version of Europe that blends different eras and styles into something timeless and a little surreal.

Wander through a cozy café adorned with art nouveau stained glass and overgrown greenery from its attached greenhouse. Browse the towering bookshelves of a three-story bookstore, where a good game of chess (or the approval of the shopkeeper’s pet crow) might earn you a bargain. Or tinker away in an eccentric inventor’s robotics workshop, where engineering and a little bit of imagination take this fantasy of everyday life to the next level.

This build was of course inspired by the enchanting worlds of Studio Ghibli, but also a great video essay about anime’s obsession with Europe. Highly recommend!

Lot details:

Lot Type: Cafe + Retail

Price: §201,134

Size: 30x20

Location: Izakaya Ippai, Mt. Komorebi or The Narwhal Arms, Windenburg

I’ve used from all packs freely here. As always, no CC!

Download links and floor plans below the cut

Download via the Sims 4 Gallery or tray files via Sim File Share. You’re free to do whatever you want with the place but please don’t re-upload or share without credit. Thank you!

[ukgk]

Ghost: Suiren Full name: Suiren Primula Winzer Ghostmaster: Natsumiya Yuzu (A.K.A Suiren /KisumiArisaki/DEFTH)

Initial release: 2003/06/01 Last update: 2013/10/02　 Download: for SSP ＞■, for C.R.O.W ＞■ (language: 🇯🇵 ) [Viewer advisory: download contains mildly suggestive/inappropriate themes (e.g. references to eroge), artist's website contains NSFW/18+ only content]

Profile: Suiren was born to a Japanese mother and a British father. she was primarily raised by her father and grew up in England. she wields a supernatural ability called 'Alias' which means she can transmit herself into the net world and into other people's computers. one time while using that magic ability to surf the web she recieved a bad (denpa) radiowave signal and suddenly became addicted to anime, gaming & manga culture from Japan. Hobbies: listing all the chemical elements of the periodic table from start to finish from memory Fav metal: 75Re (Rhenium)' Fav food: strawberries Dream job: maid cafe Pet: sea otter Fav tool: an engineers try-square Friends: Unyu (they met online) Age: Top Secret VA: Nashimoto Yuuri

[transboyswitchytales]

'Warm All Night'

🦊Request: 4. I actually want to see rio sleeping outside for once, would be fun and ags would just tease her by saying "oh, don't worry rio, i will keep our baby warm all night"🦊

SORRY FOX I FORGOT TO FINISH IT! HERE IT IS <3 I only have one fox request left!

Warning: Daddy Mommy Kink / Fluff / Tension / Hurt /Comfort / Domestic Fluff / Triad Polyamory / Therapist Rio / Psych Agatha / Reader Trains Service Dogs / Arguements / Backstory / No Magic AU / Smoking Cigarettes / Drinking / Campfires / Wanted to go camping but I can't lol so they will!

4. I actually want to see rio sleeping outside for once, would be fun and ags would just tease her by saying "oh, don't worry rio, i will keep our baby warm all night"

You and Rio loved camping every summer. Agatha pretended not to like it but something about seeing you and Rio skinny dipping always cheered her up.

But Agatha demanded you at least rent a cabin. So that is how this whole mess started.

It was Thursday and all of you had taken Friday and Monday off to go to this gorgeous cabin. You were excited as Agatha drove your old pickup truck. The bed was full to the max of stuff you probably didn’t need. Rio had cracked open another Arizona mango tea. She had a map pulled open as she told Agatha which back roads to go down. There was zero service where you were. Which you knew was Rio’s preference. No electronics, no checking on work emails. 

You had appointed yourself as DJ because one time you got your partners lost in Yellowstone, and now you never got the chance to give directions ever again. And Agatha got car sick way too easily so she drove the majority of the long car trips, which always made Rio antsy to get out and walk around. 

You opened the music that you’d spent hours downloading last night instead of packing. Your sunglasses pulled over your forehead as you picked another tune. Agatha and Rio rolled down the windows a few miles back to smell how delicious the air was. 

No smog here. 

It felt cleaner now, as you sped down gravel roads. The tree’s getting taller and taller as you got closer to the cabin. 

You put on Caamp ‘ All the Debts I Owe.’ And you sang the lyrics obnoxiously loud and threw the dial all the way up so that the sound system vibrated the bench seat. 

“Honey, honey, get the kids in the car now

Put the cash in the trunk, get the keys, let's go

Hit the biggest bank in Chicago

For all it had, we're thieves you know

Remember the thing that I told ya'

Three years, two moons ago?

I promise I’ll be right behind you

But you’re gonna die if you don’t hit the road”

You kiss Agatha’s cheek, and she smiles as the wind whips her hair. Rio puts her arm out across the back of the bench, and you place your warm palm against the inside of her thigh and she instinctively grins happily at the contact. 

Keep your lights down, keep your voice down low

Wear your hair down, whichever way you go

And I’ll meet you in Idaho

Three kids in the back of a Caddy

She said, "Come here and kiss your wife"

And I know you’re real mad at me

But you’re on your way to some kind of life

Daniel, John, and Abby

Promise me you’ll treat your mother nice

Keep your lights down, keep your voice down low

You sing along too loudly, and the car slows eventually as Agatha knows the turn into the dirt driveway to the cabin. She turns off the engine, and you and Rio are out of the truck so fast. She doesn’t have time to yell at either of you. 

You throw your old David Bowie T-shirt at your wife and Rio barely avoids getting hit with it as she takes off her tank top and throws it at you to slow you down.

 You two have an ongoing tradition that the first to get into the water doesn’t have to do dishes the whole weekend. Agatha has tried to stop you two from doing this, but no such luck. 

You grab Rio around the waist, and she yells at you, but you pull her back, and you don’t take your red vans off as you dive off the dock and into the water. 

You let your body be unguled by the ice cold water. You hear the water splash under the lake, but you were still surprised when Rio’s hands find your hips and she guided you up to the surface.

You wrapped your legs around her and you both broke the water above cuddling her hands found your thighs and held onto you. 

“You little cheat!” Rio spits out lake water and pushes one hand to smooth her hair. 

“You are always such a sore loser!” You tease, and Rio grabs your chin and pulls you in for a wet kiss. Her lips are wet but you push your body into hers so you can kiss her even closer. 

Rio bites your bottom lip and you moan and she dunks your face under the water while you are distracted. You pop back up and spit out water. 

“That is me being a sore loser! You wanna see a sore loser!” Rio teased but you splashed her while you started to swim away from your wife. “Hey! Where do you think you are going, Ariel? Come back here and kiss me! I’ll be your pretty Prince Eric! Oh my god you swim fast, what are you part fish? I married a mermaid! Or are you a Selkie? DON’T IGNORE ME!” Rio tried to swim after you but you were faster. And she was talking too much.  

Grabbing the edge of the old dock, you easily hoisted your wet, dripping body onto the old wood. Your vans made a squishy noise as you put wait on them once more. Water pouring out of your poor shoes. 

Agatha sauntered overpulling her sunglasses up to her hair, and threw a towel at you. You caught it and wrapped it around your shoulders. 

“I will not be unpacking the truck alone, get your tight ass OUT OF THE WATER RIO HARKNESS!”  Agatha yells at the one wife still trying to swim to the dock. 

You ignored your wives walking up to the doc with your wet vans until you get to the truck. You find a large, dark green duffle bag with all three of your clothes, and you pull out a sweatshirt from a greenhouse Rio worked in when she was twenty-two. You take off your wet bra. Throwing it across the inside dash to dry. No one is around for miles, so you can be naked and no one but your wives is gonna see it. Your nipples harden from the cold water, and you put the tie-dye green house sweatshirt on. 

Kicking your shoes off and throwing them on your truck rooftop. You grab the two biggest duffels and start to unload the truck. Opening the old cabin door and throwing the stuff down. You heard Rio and Agatha outside flirting and bickering, which was the same thing for them. 

You came back out, and Rio eyed you like you had hurt her sense of self. 

“You are on my shit list pretty lady.”

“Oh no, what’ll I do. You are so scary.” You tease, and Rio is gawking in offense at you. Agatha just rolls her eyes and shoves three brown bags of groceries into Rio’s wet arms. 

“You know you could have brought me a towel too,” Rio complains at Aggie who just takes the cooler with the ice and starts to walk towards the cabin. You find your phone and the small JBL speaker that you’d stolen from Rio. Turning your tunes back on, you finished bringing it all in. 

Aggie was sorting the dry food into the pantry, and all the cold stuff was in the fridge. Rio found the big bag of charcoal and started up the grill. You made the bed, putting your pillows and sheets on. It just felt better to have the smell of home. So you threw the summer quilt across the bed and then found the toiletry bag to locate a hair tie. You grabbed two onto your arm, and then went back into the kitchen.

Agatha put the tea kettle on, which was so on brand. She’d been here less than thirty minutes and needed tea. You located the ‘Southern Comfort’ and put it on the counter. Agatha saw it and took out three mugs, being together this long meant words weren’t needed. 

You opened the fridge to find one of the giant containers of ground beef and two portobello mushrooms. You took out a clean plate and formed the burgers, and salted the mushrooms. Agatha sliced the cheese and put it on the side of the plate you were working on. Aggie leaned across the small space to kiss your cheek. Your lips curled at the corners in pleasure at her touch, then you turned and walked out to your cranky wife. 

Rio, howeve,r was a lot less cranky when you walked out. She’d stolen the speaker back. And she was playing your playlist, continuing the song from the drive. You always liked it when Rio and Agatha enjoyed your extremely thought out playlists. 

You wrapped your arms around Rio from behind, who put her hand over your arms. 

You released Rio and then pulled her wet hair back with the secon hair tie and put it in a messy bun on top of her hair. She thanked you in spanish and you squeezed her butt before going back inside to help Aggie. The song played through the screendoor now. 

‘Wear your hair down, whichever way you go

And I’ll meet you in Idaho

I know you’ll miss me, I’m barely fifty

Ain't comin' with me are all the debts I owe

You don’t have to kiss me, just bear with me

And I'll be back someday I hope

I know you’ll miss me, I’m barely fifty

Ain't comin' with me are all the debts I owe

You don’t have to kiss me, just bear with me

And I'll be back someday I hope

Oh, I hope

Oh, oh, oh, I hope’

You three work together to make dinner, and you eat on the picnic table on the back deck looking out onto the lake. 

You pass Rio her vegan ketchup, and Agatha pours you ice water to go with your hot toddy. Which was another tradition for camping. 

Rio reaches over to hand you the bread and butter pickles as you build your burger. 

“Rio, are you wearing the strap?” Agatha asks as she serves the salad onto Rio’s plate. 

Just as Rio is about to take a bite of her portobello she stops. She looks confused for a minute. 

“I thought you packed it?”

“Rio! I told you to pack it or wear it! You said ‘Yeah of course.’”

“No, no, you asked me to pack the straps to the truck! Like the bungee cords!”

“Rio Harkness, why would I tell you to pack it or WEAR IT, if it was bungee cords?” Agatha groaned in frustration, throwing her napkin at Rio’s face. 

The crumpled napkin hit Rio in the face as she panicked. 

You took a knife and cut your burger as the two tops freaked out over sex toys. You were so hungry you weren’t super worried about it right now. 

“It’s not a big deal! We don’t need sex toys! We got fingers and mouths!” Rio says, and Agatha grinds her jaw. 

“Sex toys, as in you didn’t pack any! As in you didn’t pack the rope or I don’t know, after care pack?” That was what Agatha was really upset about. 

Rio gulped now, and you turned to look at your wife. 

Now she was in real trouble. You three lived a pretty kinky life style. You had specific aftercare things. It was one of Aggie’s rules that no kink scene could take place without proper aftercare. You loved it about your wife.

That didn’t mean you couldn’t get spanked in a bathroom in Ross for being a brat. Because that still happened a lot… 

But no care kit meant no kinky scenes….

Rio knew in this moment, that she’d fucked up. 

“I thought you we-” She scrambles for help. 

“No! We made a list! You read the list you were in charge of after care packs! You were in charge of sex toys! You were in charge of shampoo an-” Agatha realized in that moment that she didn’t have shampoo for this trick. 

“Can I start by throwing our younger wife under the bus by saying she was downloading music for hours? ” Rio tried for comedy and you shrieked with a mouth full of burger. 

“No, you cannot throw Bunny under because you were inept! Did you even read the list?” Agatha wasn’t a happy camper. 

“If I plead the fifth, can I maybe g-”

“You are so getting punished. And tomorrow you can drive three hours to the nearest town and buy us shampoo and conditioner. And I don’t know, fucking soap!” Agatha is peeved to say the least, but Rio is joking too much. And you know that she’s not taking this seriously, and that means it’ll only get worse. 

But you eat your burger. Part of being married to Agatha and Rio for the past ten years means you know when to join in and when to hang back. 

And you didn’t want or need to be in this fight. 

You three eat, and Agatha throws barbs at Rio every now and then, and Rio only makes it worse. 

Rio is stuck on dish duty as you go take a shower with no soap, just to get the lake water out of your hair a little. 

When you come back, Rio is in her boxers and baggy grey sleep shirt and she’s on the bed smoking a cigarette. 

Oh shit, this wasn’t good. 

“Forget it, I’m not doing it!” Agatha growled but didn’t look up from her book. 

Oh man, you wondered when this would come up. 

Rio always tried to get Agatha and you to go sleep in the tent the first night. She’d pack a tent and say just one night in the tent. 

Agatha did not sleep in tents.

Agatha was a tough mother fucker, she worked hard, she liked nice things. Agatha could tie you and suspend you in under five minutes. 

But Agatha liked bubble baths, soft plum colored cashmere sweaters, and a good cup of tea. You loved this about Aggie, you loved that after a long day of work you could crawl into Agatha’s lap in the study. Where she’d have a book and a steaming cupa. Where she’d play with your hair like you were her kitty curled up. Agatha was hard as nails to defend you and she’d proven time and time again that she was your protector.  

Rio on the other hand. 

Rio was just as smart and just as protective over you. But Rio was way more rough and tumble. Rio had grown up with a lot of brothers. Rio was way more likely to wear biker boots and a flannel. Rio listened to rock music and was obsessed with getting the slugs to leave your veggie garden alone.

Rio was thoughtful, keeping Agatha’s favorite flowers in the garden. 

Rio loved sex rough; she’d get this pent-up energy, and you two would end up wrestling. Somehow, it always ended with you naked, even if it didn’t start sexual.

Where Agatha liked to leave big bite marks, Rio liked to suck and give hickies. 

They were opposite sides of the same coin. 

Agatha was cool and calculated but had a slicing tone. Rio was loud and abrasive and spoke before she thought. 

The first time you ever went home to meet Rio’s family, they instantly loved you. Agatha would constantly get overstimulated, having grown up with a single mother who was cruel. 

Rio’s Abuela understood this, she loved Agatha and would often pull her off to the side away from the nine cousins and many brothers who tried to play with you and get you drunk. 

Rio and you always made sure Agatha didn’t get uncomfortable in these parties. Because they were a lot. But you could tell a lot about Rio from her large family.

Your home was the perfect mix of rainy sunday spent curled up on the sofa, talking. Rio and you had Friday horror movie nights, and Agatha rolled her eyes but spoke through the whole film. 

Agatha bought tickets to the Opera, and you had Thai food Wednesday dates. 

Rio was an early riser ,and you two went to endless greenhouses as Aggie slept in. 

They were opposites. 

Though Rio and Agatha had their own things too. 

You got out of work later than they did, which always bothered your wives. They texted you throughout the day, making sure you’d eaten the lunch Rio packed or drank the water bottle Agatha demanded you consume. 

Every night, you’d come home to see them playing Scrabble. Their weird thing. 

You don’t know why or how they’d started this.

But dirty words were double points, and on the fridge, they kept a scoreboard. Making wagers and sexual favors for whoever won. 

It was hilarious to come home to Rio shouting and Agatha sipping her wine in victory. Rio won too, but not as often. 

You’d come in to the smell of dinner waiting for you, they always waited no matter how late. 

And Rio was usually screaming at the top of her lungs. 

“YOUR FATHER WAS A HAMPSTER AND YOUR MOTHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES! YOU CUNT! THAT IS NOT A WORD! AND IT’S NOT ON A DOUBLE POINT SPACE!” 

Agatha would cackle her witch's laugh, and you knew Rio had lost again.

They argued about philosophy and weather or not a therapy technicuqe was sound. They’d talk about their patients, never names of course,  but questions for each other. It was like they got a kick out of each other’s brains, and you would quietly watch the two of them. 

Like they played their own game, and you were the only one who understood the rules. 

There were things that drove you all insane that each of you did. Rio refused to drink out of a glass for milk and juice. She always forgot to remembered to write food you were out of on the grocery list. You hadn’t ever put your socks in the hamper and never remembered to bring your to-go mugs in from your truck. Agatha had never, not once, thrown her tea bag out in the trash.  Always leaving it in the mug in the sink. And she left more hair in the drain then a yeti.

But you had your rules, house rules; like everyone in bed by ten pm no matter what. This was a hard rule for you and Rio.

You had your intimacy rules, Rio would get really upset if you and Agatha watched a documentary without her. Even though she slept through documentaries.

 Neither of them liked it if you didn’t text them that you got to work safely. Or if you left them on read for more than thirty minutes in fact.

You hated it when Agatha got angry and raised her voice, so Aggie had learned to keep her tone lower even in arguments with you. Because she understood it was a trauma point for you. She yelled at Rio who grew up in yelling and didn’t mind though. This didn’t bother you. 

You had your kink rules, no one choked Agatha, not ever. Rio loved using knives on you but did not like being tied up with rope at all. You didn’t usually top but Rio switched back and forth every now and then. You didn’t like queer slurs used in bed, and disliked being blindfolded, stuff like that. 

Agatha was a licensed Psychiatrist. 

Rio was a licensed Adolescent and Family Therapist. 

You taught service dogs and worked with people with varying disabilities. 

Which is how you’d all met. You’d started the organization, and met them at a conference. You three spoke on a panel for mental health.

You didn’t know each other. But the more each of you spoke, the more turned on by how fucking smart each of you were you all got.

Rio would always claim she was first.

But at the hotel, which was comped, you were at the bar with one of your free drink tokens. You were looking at the list of cocktails. 

It was really Agatha who walked up first.

“You know, the martini is actually very good.” 

You looked up to see her, her hair no longer up tight, but gorgeous and long around her shoulders. Her lipstick not as dark a red as it was on the panel.

“Good to know, but I’m not big on olives.” You say conversationaly, always unaware of a gorgeous woman hitting on you. But Agatha wasn’t deterred, and she found you adorable. You both sat at a table as you decided on a drink. But her company was so distracting that you didn’t order. 

You both talked for about twelve minutes (yes, it matters) before Rio came over.

“What are you two beautiful women doing here at the bar?” She teased, and Agatha arched an eyebrow. Unsure of who Rio was flirting with, but never one to lose. Agatha had decided she liked you, and she wouldn’t be going back to  her hotel room alone. If things went how she wanted, you’d both be spending a lot more than a night together.  

“Where else would we be, Doc?” You teased, fingers still holding the menu and Rio’s face lit up, enjoying your game. 

“Well, most people are at the pool.” Rio sat down at your table.

“I work with service animals for a living, if I wanted to swim in urine I’d go back to the kennel. Besides I didn’t bring a bathing suit, and this doesn’t seem like the place for skinny dipping.” You said and both Agatha and Rio’s eyebrows raised. 

They liked you. 

“Kinky girl, and perhaps we can skinny dip later, I didn’t see any signs against it.” Rio flirts back easy and Agatha is both turned on and frustrated by the Therapist. 

“Well, right now she’s picking a drink.” Agatha states like she was ‘here first’ and she wasn’t sure what Rio was doing, but she wasn’t getting the signs. 

“Oh, what are you having?” Rio asked and you eyed the list. Unaware of Rio and Agatha looking at each other.  

“Haven’t made up my mind.” You say not realizing they weren’t talking about drinks right now. 

“Let me choose one for you,” Rio states, doesn’t ask, but she eyes Agatha. 

“No, I’m sure she’s going to try a martini. They’re very good, even without olives.” Agatha’s eyes turn stern and full of seduction at Rio. You lick your lips still looking down, still unaware. 

“No, you have to try the Mexican Muel, it’s got tequila. Nothing is as good as tequila. Especially if we move this party over to the pool.”

Agatha chuckles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. Rio licks her top lip and Agatha’s eyes fall down to it. But they both turn to look at you, wondering if you feel how hot it’s gotten at your table. 

Their eyes fall to your neck and cleavage. You tilt your head to the side and they both trail their gaze down your throat to the small bit of lacey bra peaking out to play with them. 

Agatha is the first to snap out of her hunger to speak, realizing no one had in a minute. 

“Tequilia  may be fun, but it’s not good long term. And everyone regrets it in the morning. A martini has class. It’s made for more than a good time.” 

Rio laughs now and Agatha smirks like she’s winning. 

You look up now and realize finally that the conversation is flirtatious. You don’t know people, not like the doctors at your table. 

But you knew animals. 

Rio’s eyes were dilated, and it wasn’t the drink. And she kept licking her lips like she had a juicy bone. 

Where as Agatha’s voice had dropped a level, she had a flush at the base of her neck. And she was playing with the stem of her glass like it had an erogenous zone. 

You understood now. 

They were flirting, you realized you were a third wheel here. That was a bummer, seeing as they were both gorgeous. You would have killed to be a fly on the wall of their hotel room tonight.  

“You know, I think I’ll go order that drink. You two have fun.” You say with a knowing expression but Agatha and Rio both grab your arms gently. 

“Where are you going?” Agatha’s voice cracks in panic. 

“You don’t want to go swimming?” Rio says ontop of Agatha.

You were half standing up and you realized you’d misread this situation. Much like you always did with people who were flirting with you. 

You slowly sat back down and the waiter came over and both Agatha and Rio were looking at you expectantly. 

“Do you know what you’d like to drink?”

They waited for you to decide and you thought about it for a moment.

Go big or go home, you figured. 

“I have two free drink chips, can I cash them both in now?” You asked him, not looking at either women. 

“Of course, you want both now?”

“Yes, I want both.” You said and your life was never the same. 

As for your job. You’d always had a thing for dogs. And you had what the person who trained you a decade and a half ago called “Alpha temperament.” Which you’d always thought was a fucking joke.

But Rio said it made ‘perfect sense’. Because when you walked into a room full of dogs, you were calm and assertive. 

All eyes were on yo,u waiting for a command.

You’d joked while tipsy that it didn’t transfer to the bedroom once at dinner, and Agatha snorted. Before feeding you a piece of her pasta off her fork. You bit it and she told you very flirtatiously in front of work friends;

“I think your wives would disagree, you always have our attention in the bedroom.”

You didn’t consider yourself the alpha of much of anything in life.

Agatha and Rio were the ones who grabbed your arm that evening at the bar. 

But you were in these times, an emotional power bottom for sure.

You knew you could fix this fight in a matter of sentences. But you felt like you shouldn’t have to.

Rio was being stubborn and waiting for Agatha to go pitch a fucking tent. So she was punishing her by smoking inside.

Agatha was sitting on the wooden kitchen chair. Her glasses were on as she pretended to read. You knew for a fact she wasn’t reading, her eyebrows said it all.

She was being passive aggressive, which was very scary on Agatha. 

Rio had taken out a pack of cigarettes. And was smoking inside, two things Aggie hated.

Rio had argued for the rule to be made that while we were camping, she was allowed such luxuries. Agatha didn’t agree, thus the tension. 

You stepped into the main room of the cabin and sighed. 

Eyeing Aggie and turning to the right and looking at Rio. The two of them were in a power play standoff.

You groaned and went outside, letting the old door slam behind you.

This was supposed to be fun. This was a vacation. 

It was so hard to get your schedules to match up for this. You had to train someone for the past two weeks to take over your main admin duties. And you knew a mess waited for you.

You went to the truck to find a pile of wood, and you reached into the glove box for your favorite lighter. 

Going out towards the river that connected to the lake. You set out to build a campfire for yourself.

It didn’t take five minutes for Rio to come find you.

She carried a folded chair, a tent, and marshmallows.

She threw the tent down and you reached out for her. She unfolded the chair and handed you the marshmallows, but you shook your head.

Rios' eyebrows raise,d and she looked over her shoulder to see if Aggie was there. Before taking the half-burnt American Spirit out of her mouth and handing it to you.

You sucked in enjoying the burn and taste of nicotine.

“Mi corazón! You tryin to get me in more trouble? Aye!” Rio teased, but you glared at her now.

“What’s that? Why are you mad at me?”

You didn’t like that. You never picked sides when they argued. And Agatha and Rio were always the voice of reason if you were mad at one of them. No one played sides, only love was there at the end of the day. 

“You couldn’t just apologize to Aggie? You had to push her buttons and make our first night all fucked up? Come on Papi! You just had to say sorry, and you wouldn’t be fighting!”

“We aren’t fighting!” Rio commented like it wasn’t her fault at all. You were getting angry now. 

“Rio, if we aren’t fighting, then why are none of us naked and making love right now under the stars?” 

Which was the plan all along.

You ask, and Rio huffs a breath and reaches for the cig. She thinks about this. 

She pats the folded chair for you, you get up, walk over to it and plop down. Not thank ing her and not leaving her.

Rio throws her cigarette into the fire. Before turning and building the tent.

You know Rio better than that. 

She’s not ignoring you, she’s asking you to sit with her while she thinks. While she processes this. Rio was a fucking shrink, of course she made mistakes, but she was nothing if not able to find a healthy way to deal with something. She was a king at looking at the bigger picture. 

Aggie had a bit more OCD, but it was way manageable. It’s what made her a great Psychiatrist, she saw it like a detective. Like a person was a puzzle and finding the right chemicals to help them were her cases. Agatha wanted people to find stability and safety. 

But she was a bit of a control freak and the OCD tendencies every now and then stopped her in her tracks. 

A random weekday Rio had broken one of Agatha’s favorite mugs and she didn’t know how to do her mornings. She didn’t get angry or complain, but you both noticed she didn’t know how to do her routine. 

It took two mornings before you and Rio talked about it. 

Rio and you dug the mug out from the outside trash bucket, found out who made it, and express-shipped a new one.

 Agatha needed structure and routine, no matter how much she pretended she didn’t.

And loving Agatha and Rio wasn’t in the big things. Not the gifts, expensive dinners, and nice clothes. It wasn’t even in camping trips and road trip playlists.

It was in the broken mugs and the intimacy of shared silence. 

You three took the time to really understand what each other needed to feel safe and loved. 

So you gave her the intimacy of shared space and waited for Rio to process and think this through. ‘Why was Rio doing this?’ ‘Why did she feel the need to pick at Agatha?’ ‘Why hadn’t Agatha reached out to solve this problem either?’ ‘Were people's boundaries crossed?’ 

You knew that these were the things Rio asked to check in with herself.

And you knew Rio would come to a decision on the best next steps shortly.

You reached over to Rio’s ass jean pocket and pulled out the pack, lighting another one. As you watched, Rios' body bend and flex as she easily put up the tent. Even in the quickly dimming light.

Only Rio didn’t get the cool-down time. A resolution didn’t happen.

Agatha came out in a blind rage.

“The fuck is that?” Agatha snapped, and you looked at Rio, and she cringed. Oh! You realized you were smoking. This wouldn’t end well for your ass cheeks. 

“Um-“ you start, and Agatha grabs it from your fingers and throws it into the fire. Before she walks over to Rio and grabs the pack you put back, tossing it in as well.

“Well, that’s not good, see it’s got plastic-“ Rio starts always the environmentalist, and Agatha is practically blue with anger. She’s past red, past the veins popping out of her neck and forehead.

“SO BOTH OF MY WIVES WANT LUNG CANCER NOW?!” Agatha fumes, and you stand up.

This was power bottom time. 

But she turned to you and held up her finger.

“No!” She snapped, and you bit your lip and sat back down. Agatha turned to Rio once more. 

“Tell you what! You want to sleep in a tent so badly? Sounds great! You sleep in the tent, in the cold, by your fucking self! I’ll keep our baby warm tonight!  Inside, without you! While punishing her for smoking a cigarette that Daddy brought!” Agatha snarls, and Rio actually looks absolutely frightened. 

You reach for the marshmallow bag, but Agatha is faster. She grabs you by your ponytail and leads you back to the cabin.

_________________________________

In the morning your ass is already deep purple from buises. And you wince and pull out from under Agatha’s body. Neither of you got much sleep, three in a bed was no longer a luxury but a necessity for sleep. 

You grimace at the cold floor but you pad over to the dufflebag and find a pair of Rio’s black loose boxers and Agatha’s dark heather crew neck. 

You don’t put shoes on as you pad outside to the tent. 

You try not to wake Rio up as you unzip the tent flap and you kneel onto the floor of the small canvas. 

But Rio’s awake and she’s got her arms behind her head to prop her up as she looks at you. 

“Morning Daddy.” You say and Rio gives you a sad smile. 

“Hey baby girl.”

“Did you get any sleep at all?”

“Nah, you?”

“An hour and a half. Pretty sure Agatha got less than that.”

“I was an idiot. I’m so sorry I ruined our first night of vacation. I should have apologized. Agatha was right, and I just..” Rio mused and then closed her eyes and breathed. 

You rolled onto your side on the floor and curled against her body. One of her arms immediately wrapped around your body. 

“Why did it upset you so much?” You asked the right question it seemed.

“You would have been a fantastic therapist.” Rio whispers in the early morning night. 

“Funny, Aggie always says I should have been a Psychatrist.”

“You are wicked smart, you could do either. You could do anything you want. We both believe that, anything you ever want, you can do. We believe in you, you know that right? There isn’t a thing we wouldn’t do for you.” Rio says and you turn and kiss her, used to her morning breath, marriage meant not caring. You missed her kisses last night. 

When you lean back you look into Rio’s eyes. 

“I know. But I’d hate dealing with people all the time. I like dogs, they tell you everything you need to know.” You say and Rio smirks, she liked watching you at work. You were in your element, it was clear to your wives that you were made for your line of work. 

“I think I got frustrated, I didn’t take my ADHD meds…and I didn’t want to tell either of you. So I was irritable and upset that I forgot our stuff. I could have been honest, but I was ashamed.” Rio admitted and you brushed the hair out of her eyes. 

“We love you, you don’t need to hide your mess ups. We love you no matter what, ok?” You tell her and Rio kisses your nose. 

“Let’s go make the apology breakfast of Aggies dreams.” Rio says and you chuckle.

____________________________________________________ 

When Agatha wakes up she panics, neither wife is in her bed. She’d been having a nightmare and neither of you were there. She’s sweaty and she quickly goes to the bathroom to splash water on her face. 

She looks up to see shampoo, conditioner, and face soap. Agatha smiles at the sight. 

When she opens the door you and Rio are laughing and she eyes you both. 

You turn in your seat to see her you get up and kiss Agatha’s cheek. Before taking your leave.

“Where are you going?” Agatha panics and Rio’s face says the same. 

“I am going to go for a quick dip. You two talk, then breakfast. I won’t go far.”

“Be careful!” Rio calls out, not loving you going swimming alone. But both of them could see you from the deck. 

You swim for around twenty minutes before you get out. 

You didn’t bring a towel and you are dripping wet in Rio’s boxers and no shirt. You left Aggies crew neck on the dock and quickly put it over your cold torso. 

You hear something in the distance and look back at the cabin. You can see Rio and Agatha holding each other from afar. So you decide it wouldn’t hurt to give them a few more minutes. 

So you go to investigate. 

You follow a small hiking trail head until you hear a whimper. 

Knowing for sure now it’s a dog. 

You walk faster worried that the animal is hurt. 

That’s when you meet her. 

She looked almost etherial in the morning light. 

You tilted your head to the side and put a hand out, not walking forward. Letting her come to you. 

She did, quickly too. And you pet her after she sniffed you enough. You bent down to see if she had a collar. 

“You lost gorgeous? Here with a family?” 

You spent the next thirty minutes walking with the dog, who didn’t need to be drug along. She seemed just happy to follow you. You didn’t see any other cabins, and no campers. 

Knowing that Rio and Agatha were probably worried about you now. It was time to head back. 

“Do me a favor, don’t jump on Agatha. She hates that, unless I do it and I’m naked. And if they let you in the cabin, you cannot under any circumstance eat Rio’s boots. She loves those things. They will say you can’t get up on the bed, but you can get up on the sofa with me. Because I run super cold. We’ll go to the vet tomorrow and see if you have a chip. If not, I think you and I should hang out, how does that sound” You ask as you walk with the sweet golden retriever. “You gotta follow those rules though. Because I don’t want to spend the night in the tent next.”

Her tail wags and she makes a quick detour, you stop and wait for her. 

She comes forward with a stick and you are all too happy to throw it as you walk back. 

“You know, I was a stray once too. And then these two pretty ladies found me.” You tell the dog who seems happy to rub against your leg every now and then. “I’ll tell you the story of how we fell in love while we walk ok?”

The dog listens to you, as you walk in the early morning of the woods. 

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[pis3update]

Duplantier Dwelling by Seba569003

"I love the house that was built for "Paranormal Stuff" for "The Sims 4. I also made this house in "The Sims 2" a while ago and if you want to check it out you can find it here: https://modthesims.info/d/660351/du...r-dwelling.html I love how many details I could add to this house using "The Sims 3" engine. I tried to make it as detaild as I could in this game but also I made it functional for our sims. The whole colour palette wheel helped me out to make this house really original in styles and colours. I always play with a magical sims in my gameplay and this house always gave me a magical atmosphere feeling. So I added as much magical objects for our sims to use as I could fit in there. Of course you can go ahead and play in this house whatever you like! As you can see I made a spiral custom stairs using cheats and to be honest that was quite a challenge on this game engine! But I managed to make it and style it all to look good and be functional as well. I like the ground floor more than what I did upstairs honestly but the whole house is really detailed in every corner that I imaginated to decorate it there. I admire how in this game we can make realistic buildings. We just have to spend a long time on them to make them as perfect as we want.

...continued + more pictures on MTS."

More Info + Download @ MTS.

[davekat-sucks]

I couldn’t resist this thing we’re doing with Homestuck characters with Youtube channels so here we go.

Beta trolls first/

Aradia: 100% she’s a spelunker who’s video content is exploring abandoned urban areas and cave systems. She even has on hand dusting tools and a pickaxe to look for exposed fossils. Her uploads coincide within a day of a person dissapearing or the report of a murder.

Tavros: he’s Alternia’s biggest Pokétuber, or I guess in this sense, a Fidutuber. He likes to discuss the meta for competitive and lore about the fiduspawn series. He also dabbles in fantasy RPGs, especially if there is a girl with magical powers or a protagonist whisked away to a fantastical realm, tying back to his Pupa Pan obsession. What’s cool about Tavros’s playthroughs for his RPG games is they’re narrated and voice acted by his friends! He has Nepeta and Aradia do some of the female cast voice acting, as well as Gamzee and Karkat for male voice acting!

Sollux: twitch streaming speedrunner, very popular in the speedrunning community for his TAS tech and glitch hunting prowess. His uploading schedule is very infrequent due to his struggle with sensing the imminently deceased.

Karkat: 100% a movie reviewer like that of the Nostalgia critic, his review gimmick is he trues to violently destroy movies he considers “COMPLETE SHIT FESTIVITIES” by using threshecutioner style combat on the DVD boxes, or if the movie was digitally downloaded, corrupt it with one of his broken, shitty viruses.

Nepeta: survivalist vlogger who gives tips on living in a cave, animal hunting, preparing meals from the meats of different wild animals, and how to keep contact with the civilized world. Notably Nepeta has collaborated with Aradia to guide her through particularly hard to navigate caves.

Kanaya: fashion and aesthetics channel. She is a lifestyle blogger dedicated to showing you how everything can be shaped colored and placed to fit your personality. She’s got playlists for landscaping and gardening, fashion, and hell even how to make the food on your plate look appetizing!

Terezi: skit and parodies channel. Her on hand plushes make her a plush skit channel similar to SuperMarioLogan, and she loves to invite her friends to cast as different pyralsprites, action figures, paper drawings and even an occasional animal carcass for her new episodes. When her plushes are worn out, Terezi instead uses GMod and editing software to make her secondary skit show, think SMG4 but now the characters type in leetspeak and reference bugs and grubs a lot. For using copyrighted characters she has been sued many times and won every case. She uploads legal advice to a secondary channel on how to avoid getting copyright claimed and how to win in court.

Vriska: e-thot and competitive gamer. She plays a lot of ranked team games like Overwatch, Marvel Rivals, Fortnite, and even Team Fortress 2! She’s toxic, and has been known to call out and swear at her teammates and opponents, has doxxed her own moderators for her chat, and once sent Tavros a virus to his computer for wiping the floor with her at FiduFLARP, a modded game of FLARP that adds in fiduspawn monsters as catchable enemies. How she’s not banned is a sinple reason: she always streams with a crop top that’s worn low.

Equius: hybrid channel for electrical engineering and combat training. He’s like electroboom in that he gets shocked quite a lot, but different in that he could build a Boston dynamic robot in less than an hour. He has tutorials on constructing the control systems of military aircraft! His combat videos focus on a lot of boxing and hand-to-hand techniques, and especially how to concentrate the force of your blow. When he does demonstrations for weapon combat, he invites Karkat and Tavros over for battle strategies for Threshecutioners and Cavalreapers.

Gamzee: naturalist and spiritual healing channel. He streams often for calls with chat members asking for their ailments and providing healing advice or even trying a through-the-screen hypnosis method to cure chat members. He’s a fraud, but people love his calm demeanor and positive attitude so much people go to him for vibes, and his “cures” work often enough that some people even believe he has healing magic.

Eridan: strategy games and naitical technology. World of Warships no. 1 advertising advocate. He also dabbles in human games like Hearts of Iron IV and Sid Mires’s Civilization series. He thinks they’re actually really really easy games. When he reviews ships he likes to go to museums to review and describe war ships and how effective they were at sea. Sometimes he can even swim to shipwrecks if he feels like it, which is… rarely.

Feferi: Vlogger for ocean diving and nature documentation. Her positive attitude and natural optimism towards the unknown makes her view even the most ugly and aggressive deep sea life seem cute and misunderstood. Surprisingly her favorite sea life is the shark! When Eridan needs to explore a shipwreck, he uses Feferi as a guide to get him safely diving down to the wreckage, and so he doesn’t feel alone in the dark waters. Deep sea diving actually burns a LOT of calories, especially with how long her videos can get (2-4 hours) so on the side she does shorter Mukbang videos! Commenters are in awe that she’s so skinny despite eating half her weight in food every time she does a Mukbang.

Beta kids/

John: illusions and pranks channel, loves to live record strangers falling for his obvious trucks and deceits. Don’t worry it’s all for fun and no one gets hurt :) His magic even extends to cool programs you can do on your computer to make your desktop do something cool, or customize your pointer (yeah to this day he’s still an amateur at coding) when Karkat is reviewing bad movies, John is usually invited for skits where he’s the stand in for a stawman of the movie’s fandom explaining why the movie is actually good.

Rose: she’s like those atheist skeptic channels but instead of just debunking God and flat earth theory she also uses her magic to prove and convince her subscribers the horrorterrors are the only real cosmic entities who exist beyond the physical universe. In the case there’s a video going around of something crazy happening that could be a hoax, she invites John over so he can rant and expose the magic tricks the video uses to make it look real.

Dave: shitposter. He posts whatever he feels like whenever he feels like. Tony Hawk combo score, Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff comic dubs, Smosh skits with John, and a lot of Youtube Poops. He’s less a poster and more an editor. He’s done video editing for a bunch of other Youtubers, like Karkat, Kanaya, Sollux, Terezi, John, and Rose. He has a lot of time on his hands and he uses it for the best editing gags and cutoffs you could imagine. Like Caddicarus but even funnier.

Jade: she’s a mystery. You’ll see her everywhere and yet her main channel has less than 10k subscribers. She has made a cameo on EVERY character I’ve described so far. She’s dug up bones for Aradia, competed against Tavros in fiduspawn (and narrates for his RPG playthroughs, voice acting for some female characters too!) she playtests Sollux’s speedrun strats to see of they’re humanly viable, she’s done skits in Karkat’s video where she parodies prominent female characters alongside John, Dave, and Sollux. She is used as a practice combatant for Nepeta to demonstrate fighting various wildlife from foxes to bears. She’s done in depth explanations for various plant life and their living conditions in Kanaya’s horticulture videos, she plays in Terezi’s skits as a character who’s a stereotypical furry, she’s Vriska’s top pick for playing casual multiplayer games like UNO, or Worms, or Smash Bros. Jade was a featured teacher for how to build a homemade Nuclear Reactor with Equius. She was interviewed by Gamzee for her dog ears and her ability to see the future. She demonstrates how to handle various firearms in Eridan’s videos, and has even done 2-person mukbangs with Feferi. So after all that, what does Jade post on her main account? Squiddles character AMVs.

If I’m gonna do the alpha kids and trolls it has to be a separate ask, this is a very long one.

Hot damn! These are all so good!

[transistor-rhythm-909]

Arcade Child - Nothing Left But Vengeance (Final Boss: Hell Chaos)

originally composed by Katsuro Tajima

DOWNLOAD HERE

This was a long time coming.

I love the original Splatterhouse- particularly its initial arcade incarnation. This is probably not a surprise- I like horror, I like arcade games, I like horror arcade games, you do the math. But Splatterhouse is special. I've written at length about how much I love the game several times over the years, how influential its been on me creatively, so I'll try my best to be brief: in addition to being a very violent and visceral video game, it has stellar art direction and design with some seriously creative enemy designs, really solid and desceptively simple gameplay with more depth then you might expect, and a story that whilst fairly simple serves up a for-the-time-uncommon-in-the-medium and particularly cruel (if kind of dated) twist, with no happy ending for Rick- the player character- or his girlfriend Jennifer no matter what you do.

In addition, Splatterhouse is host to a fantastic and very forward thinking soundtrack. Written by Katsuro Tajima and Yoshinori Kawamoto, none of it sounds particularly videogamey, instead drawing from the highly synthesized and often experimental horror movie scores of the 80s, to create a very specific and effective atmosphere. As a general rule, Tajima handled the more typically melodic tracks, whilst Kawamoto created the more ambient or outright outsider-music-esque pieces.

And one of my favourite pieces on the soundtrack? The final boss theme, composed by Tajima (I was unable to find a non-1hr/not shite audio quality version of the song under its correct title- we'll come back to that- so I apologise).

(Continued below)

It's such a beautifully melancholic piece- not really very scary sounding nor very triumphant, and frequently dropping its uptempo nature in favour of more contemplative sections, it doesn't sound like typical final boss music. But for a game in which you have to fight the woman you were trying to save as a boss- the woman the player character loves enough to take an obviously one-sided deal with a supernatural force and dive headfirst into hell for- two stages before this point, it fits. Though the PC Engine port of Splatterhouse would flesh out more of the story by bringing in other elements of intruige, and Splatterhouse 2 would undo this twist, Jennifer doesn't magically revive at the end of the game. For those last two levels, and for this final fight against the very essance of the titular (and apparently living and sentient) Splatterhouse and/or the spirit of its prior inhabitant Dr. West (depending on which version of the lore you go by), Rick has nothing but vengeance to fight for. That's a relatively nuanced and complex emotional core for a final boss fight to have even now, let alone at the time, and the presentation of the fight- including the music- does so wonderfully. Obviously, killing a woman off to give a male character Main Pain™ is and was even then an enormous unflattering cliche, and Splatterhouse isn't above criticism for indulging in it, but I think it's handled at least slightly better then some of the more overtly sexist Fridging I've seen happen to female characters in many forms of media.

I mentioned above that this remix was a long time coming; whilst that's partially because I started working on it early last year (I think? I forget), it's also because this is actually my second time remixing this song. I first made a remix of it back in the late 2000s when I was a teenager- long before 103 Records existed, back when the TIMGUL forums were still active, I used a long-gone youtube channel to host my music for listening purposes, and I stuck my songs up on filesharing sites like zippyshare or 4shared for downloading. It's long gone, now- its one of many of my early songs that I either never properly backed up or lost to hard drive failures, and everywhere it was hosted has since gone defunct. It's not a lost a masterpiece, I assure you- from what I remember, I struggled to get the timing and placement of the notes during the "chorus" section right, so the melody was really off, and I don't think I really bothered with either the "verses" or the "bridge". It was also made at a time when I didn't use direct line-in recording for my music, and instead used the recording function on a battery powered MP3 player, so the actual sound quality was complete shite.

As much as I cut myself some slack- I was like, 14-15, and had even less of an idea what the hell I was doing then I do now (which ain't much)- but I always felt a pang of regret that my tribute to music I love so much was severely lacking. This remix is me attempting to right that wrong. And whilst I could nitpick it- and probably will eventually- I feel teenage!Decon would be thrilled to know he'd one day be capable of pulling off something like this. Whilst mostly based off of the arcade version of the song, the melody in the "verse" section pulls a little bit from the PC Engine's rendition of the final boss theme, which emphasises slightly different notes. I also included a brief portion of the game's ending theme in there (again, have to use a 1hr looped upload, sorry about that), as said motif both appears earlier in the game (tied to cutscenes before and after the boss fight with Jennifer), and in adverts for the PC Engine port, so it could be considered Splatterhouse 1's main musical theme.

Which brings me to why I arranged the sound in this high energy breakbeat techno style. Partially, that's a callback to that original remix I made, which was similarly styled- and indeed the inetial impetous for that stylistic approach came from wanting to, essentially, do what I did the first time, but Better™.

Whilst working on it tho I realised the end result kinda reminded me of something. Stick with me here, this is gonna seem off topic; way back in the early 90s, the original Castlevania was remade and expanded for the Sharp X68000- a japanese computer with a strong gaming scene/library, vaguely anologus to something like the Amiga in the UK. It's a very good version of Castlevania. Later, around 2000/2001, this version of Castlevania would be ported to the playstation under the name Castlevania Chronicles, which contained both the original version of the remake completely unaltered, and an Arranged Mode with a number of changes both cosmetic and gameoplay oriented, one of which was a new arranged soundtrack- with many of the songs being redone in various styles of electronica. This included it's final boss theme, You Goddamned Bathead, which got turned into a hard acid techno banger with some dramatic organs for flavour- though in fairness, its original incarnation was already fairly rave-oriented in composition.

So I leaned into that idea; this is, basically, the final boss theme from the arranged mode of a hypothetical PS1 re-release of a Splatterhouse remake that initially dropped on the X68000- hence why it has a loop-n-fadeout ending. Why? Because god forbid I make something that doesn't have some ridiculous high concept metafiction bullshit attached to it. I would imagine that in this hypothetical Splatterhouse remake (and then re-remake), the fight against Hell Chaos is considerably expanded or at least even harder, given the length this remix winded up being; the original Hell Chaos fight can be beaten in under two minutes if you're good at the game. Or you cheat.

Additional fun fact; I considered naming the remix "You Goddamned Melt-head" initially, as a one-two reference to the Castlevania Chronicles song and a rip of Splatterhouse's soundtrack that gave all the songs obnixously unfunny fan titles which circulated back in the day; in this rip the final boss song was given the name "The Requiem of Captain Mozzarella", a name so egregiously unfunny I want to find whoever came up with it and give them a clip 'round the ear (this is also why I had to link to a 1hr upload above; most of the non-shit-audio-quality uploads of the song on youtube use that fucking name, and a) I didn't want to give the impression that that was its official name to the unitiated, and b) it would have deflated my talk of how the game has quite an effective score/story etc. I decided against the Melt-head name for much the same reason- I didn't want my earnest attempt to capture the emotion of the fight to be undone by a too-in-jokey reference. The remix also briefly went under the name "Stulti Hominis Finalem Votum"- pigin Latin for "The Foolish Man's Final Wish"- mostly as if memory serves right, my initial remix from all those years ago had the suffix "Venenum Sanguis Mix" (also pigin latin, this time for 'poisonous blood'), because Latin Is Kewl!!!!!!!!!!!!

[paquita-alpaca]

So, you paid for a subscription to an educational site—or, you know, a different type of site (no judgment, we all have our interests). Your subscription is ending, and you’re stressed about losing access to the beautiful collection of photos and videos that brought you joy, enlightenment, or something else entirely. Screenshotting and screen recording are your current go-tos, but let’s be honest, you deserve better than grainy pixels. Fear not! I’m here with a tutorial that will help you keep all those precious pixels forever.

Disclaimer: This is for Chrome on a desktop computer (other desktop browsers should work similarly). Mobile browsers are not your friends for this, sorry. Also, this only works for some sites, but it definitely works for certain spicy ones, if you catch my drift.

Photos:

- Open the webpage with the picture you want to save (your holy grail).

- Either press F12 or right-click on the picture and select Inspect. This will open the Developer Tools. I know, it looks scary, but I promise you, it’s not. We’re about to feel like hackers. 🕶️

- Go to the Sources tab.

- On the left, you’ll see a file tree. Explore it like you’re Indiana Jones. Somewhere in there, your photo is waiting for you in high resolution.

- Once you find it, click on the file, and a preview will pop up in the central panel. From there, it’s easy: Right-click → Save image as... Boom. Treasure secured.

Videos:

- Open the webpage with the video you need (your magnum opus).

- Open the Developer Tools again (F12 or right-click → Inspect). This time, go to the Network tab.

- Below that, select Media.

- Play the video. You’ll see a new line pop up in the Network tab like magic.

- Right-click on that new line and select Open in a new tab.

- In the new tab, the video will play. Just right-click and Save video as... You’re welcome.

And there you have it! A foolproof way to save your favorite pictures and videos in their full glory. Let me know if any of these steps weren’t clear, and I’ll help you out. Now go forth and download responsibly! 🫡

Source: Me, I am a software engineer.

[beckiducki]

.;* TUTORIAL: Black Backgrounds *;.

@infinityvalkariel asked me how I made images like the one above so I thought I'd put together a tutorial post!

Inspiration & Credit

First of all, I wanna give credit to (@)mallowwyyy on TikTok for the idea! I saw their video initially showing off the effect, and they mentioned in the video that they had a tutorial on their account - but I didn't have my phone at hand when I had the game open and wanted to try it, so I ended up reverse engineering the effect.

I went back and found their tutorial video, so you can follow that if you'd like! My version is pretty much the same, but they got a nice, softer effect - click / tap here to see mallowwyyy's tutorial video

My Tutorial

Step 1: Unlock Lighting!

So, the first step is to make sure you upgrade your camera lighting to about level 5 at least, to unlock the hue lighting. Personally my lighting is currently at level 7. Higher levels unlock more lighting options to play around with for this effect!

To upgrade your camera, open the in-game camera - then there should be an option in the top right that looks like a camera with tools inside (idk if the placement might be different on other devices, but it should be somewhere on your screen at least). If you select that, it opens the menu to upgrade your camera for new lighting/poses/filters using the materials you get from the expedition handbook photography stamp challenge.

Step 2: Get Into Position

The beauty of this effect is location really doesn't matter since we're basically erasing the background, but bright lights and effects can sometimes peak through so that's worth bearing in mind. Below I'm just in a random location in the woods and I've set up the pose and camera placement where I want it.

Step 3: Make Everything Pitch Black

Next, using the Adjustment Box, turn the Vignette all the way to the maximum then move the following options all the way to the lowest: Soft Light Intensity, Soft Light Range, Brightness, Exposure, Highlights, and Shadows.

You'll end up with something like the image below - very much an 'it gets worse before it gets better' situation - but, as you can see, the background is black!

Step 4: Add the Magic

Now it's time for the lighting to shine! Go to the Lighting section of the Adjustment Box and add the natural, default lighting for a softer touch or the unlocked hue lighting for a more colourful, saturated effect - and remember, you can adjust the intensity of the lighting! I've found max lighting then doing Step 5 below tends to work best, but you can play around with it.

Step 5: Final Tweaks

From here you just play around with the settings until you get a result you're personally happy with - whatever works best for your outfit and the vibe you wanna go for.

Black & White Effect: Turn Saturation & Natural Saturation all the way to the lowest

Make Colours Pop: Increase the Saturation & Natural Saturation (play around with the different levels of these two settings)

Make Nikki Brighter: Increase the Brightness, and also play around with the Highlights

More Intense Highlights & Shadows: Increase the Contrast

Soft Glow: Turn the Soft Light Intensity to maximum then increase the Soft Light Range until you're happy with it

This isn't an exhaustive list by any means - have fun playing around with the settings to see what interesting effects might come out of it!

Step 6: Playstation -> Phone Shenanigans

This final step is just for people playing on Playstation 5, like me - or for people who want to add an extra something to their images.

To get images off the Playstation and onto your phone so you can share them on social media and such, you have to download them from the game to the console, from the console to the Playstation app, then from the Playstation app to your phone - and somewhere along that process, I've found it tends to screw up the saturation and make the images more washed out. I do think it may just be an issue with the colour settings on my TV, but I don't know for sure.

Exhibit A: Photo of my TV screen taken by my phone camera vs image downloaded from the Playstation app:

Now, you might like how this looks and I often do lol, but when I want to fix the saturation and make it closer to how it actually looks on my TV screen, I play around with the default photo editor on my phone - there's usually a filter that brings it at least very close to how it looked on my TV, usually one or a combination of the following filters depending on the image: Honey, Clay, Metro, or Bazaar - filter options do vary depending on your device, I have a Google Pixel 6a. The filter previews are the main thing to go off of to see which filters will give the desired effect.

Exhibit B: Playstation app image vs edited image

...aaand that's it! I hope you enjoy playing around with this effect <3

(also, I made this post on my phone, so if there are any formatting issues do let me know and I'll see if I can fix it once I'm back from work and can edit this post on my laptop)

[harry-trumans-dishwasher]

Magic Nerds should be forbidden from talking about art.

Transcription under the cut.

Me: 9:19 No, I disagree with everything this sarcastic man says. The version of Magic I love has always been goofy and bizarre and full of artists doing their own thing. Google Phil Foglio and pause the video at 9:18. I thought this video would be an intelligent discussion about conflicting tastes and artistic sensibilities, but all he's doing is pointing at a cowboy hat and saying "This is cringe. Everyone who likes this BAD ART should be embarassed. Nothing like this would've flown in the Good Ol' Days."

Innocent Bystander: Goofy is intrinsic to Magic, don't get me wrong. It just used to be like 10 - 20% goofy, now it's 70 - 80% and it's strangling everything that actually matters out of the set. If you want all goofy all the time then there are the un-sets.

Me: Okie-Dokie. That's a very respectable opinion to have. You say it used to be 10-20%. Now it's more like 70-80%. In your mind's eye, you have every card you've seen lined up from least-to-most goofy -- all the cloning chambers, the robots, the dinosaurs -- you've put your finger down and decided for yourself what is and isn't goofy. Me, I think every card (even ones like "Cut a Deal" or Tarkir's upcoming gummy-bear-dragons) is inherently silly -- but that's just my perspective.

What we both agree on is that variety is important :^] People like to express their individuality with these cards, so it's a good thing that there's always at least 10% for people like me and 90% for people who... like their genre-fiction straight. This youtuber does not agree with the two of us.

Now listen to what this man says at 9:43. Listen to him say that even a singular alternate-art card in an otherwise perfect set is enough to make him disgusted with the whole thing. Listen to how fatigued he is when he starts it with that "I'm sorry but..." He's so embarrassed to be associated with any of it. If it were up to him, that 10%, 20%, 70%, 80% would all just go away so the hobby he's built his career around can be respectable again.

In a way I'm glad. Roth's "The Rat Fink" style was not conceived to appeal to self-serious, white bread types like HIM. As soon as I saw the alternate art for the Bloodghast, I knew it wasn't going to appeal to everyone, but my friends and I were ecstatic to see that level of underground punk culture make its way into Magic. I don't at all care for the Exhaust or Start your Engines mechanics, but I'll admit it's my own fault for feeling so injured when I see someone with this big of an audience write this art off as....

Bad Art. Art that "doesn't matter" as you say.

I try not to mind it, but it makes me angry to see him lump it in with the goddamn Sherlock-hats.

That's the personal side of this. But on the topic of hats, I think there's a LOT of criticism one could have for stuff like "Marchesa Dealer of Death." You could talk about the creative bankruptcy of bouncing from one flavor of genre fiction to the next. You could have a Herzog-level of discussion about how the world is running out of unique images. Running out of hats, if you like. But no! He just cringes at it all in that sarcastic voice of his! He completely side-steps the clownshoes New Capenna and Bloomburrow sets since he knows most people like those cards, and he provides the same level of artistic criticism as a pre-teen groaning about how lame Cartoon Network has gotten.

Now he's allowed to do it. He's allowed to wince and cringe and spew hot air at [checks viewer count] hundreds of thousands -- people who lack this much self-awareness ought to be loud so I'll know to steer clear of 'em. But tell me, Not-A-Dragon. What is wrong with the art we're supposed to hate at 9:17? It's colorful. It's unique. It's individualized! It's like nothing I've ever seen before on a Magic card! Why are we supposed to hate this!? The Broadcast rambler! I've downloaded this art on my phone and shown it to everyone who'll tolerate me. "It's Fine" "Looks Cool" Why is it SILLY? All I see is something that looks different!

I'm listening to this horrible man speak, and my only conclusion is that he simply lumps all art that doesn't appeal to his own personal tastes as "silly." As if the whole field of art criticism can be boiled down to a singular scale. He simply does not want to engage with any of this art that makes him feel embarrassed or surprised. I don't watch a lot of MTG-Youtubers, but it's abhorrent to see people talk about any form of art like this. If this is what I have to look forward to, I'm just going to keep playing and talking about art with my own friends.

We hate the Hasbro company for our own reasons, so we make our own proxy cards; none of us are artists, so they look pretty childish. Goofy. Special.

I have to stop myself from crying when I imagine someone might listen to this hateful man and feel too frightened to create their own drawings.

I don't know his name, but please reject what this man says, Not-A-Dragon. I don't expect I've changed your mind about Rat Fink or Cowboy Hats, but please. Draw your favorite character riding a Vespa. Write your own story about the Tarkir dragons meeting the bloomburrow gang. Pick out your favorite Magic Artist, learn about their inspirations, and find similar beauty elsewhere. You can even draw how you imagine me! With a big ol' dunce cap and a clown nose.

For the love of god, do not imagine how this vitriolic man might react to any of it.

Please.

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

[sneak peek] The MatchMatic 3000 || Jake Sim

update: this fic's been posted!! click here to read!

a/n: helloooo this is a lil peek into what i've been working on for a bit now! i'm hoping to get this out by next week? (cross ur fingers with me) anywaysss i've been having so much fun writing this and just indulging in a fun, crack, writing style! this is gonna be a brief sneak peek, so let me know if anyone else wants another snippet :D

genre: fluff, comedy, college!au, matchmaking!au, just very fun & random humor (simply good vibes all around!), & of course pining puppy dog simp jake ;)

short summary: the one where jake’s best friend turns into a self-proclaimed “Campus Cupid” with a matchmaking algorithm, and jake’s ready to bribe, beg, and possibly sell his soul to make sure he gets paired with you. because heaven forbid he just talks to you like a normal guy in love. nope, jake’s plan A is “hack the system,” and plan B? well, there is no plan B—he’s fully committed to this delulu life.

Subject: [SCHOOL ANNOUNCEMENT]

Hello there awesome students & fellow single-tons,  

Have you ever looked around campus and thought, ‘Wow, everyone here is either taken, weird, or impossible to talk to?’ Well, I’m here to save you from the deep trenches of singleness with...*drumroll please* 

THE MATCHMATIC 3000  –– the university's very own matchmaking algorithm that's here to pair you with your perfect second half!  

How does it work you ask? Simple. 

Download the app from the link in this email (no, it's not a scam or an elaborate hoax, I promise).  

Enter your name and student ID (for verification purposes only – no catfishing allowed!)  

Answer a bunch of super fun questions that might make you question your life choices but will definitely help MatchMatic 3000 find your perfect match! 

Once you’re done, the app will work its algorithmic magic to pair you with someone who’s probably just as confused about life as you are but is at least willing to share similar pizza toppings with you. 

Why are we doing this, you ask? Because who doesn’t love a good matchmaking fiasco? It’s like throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, except instead of pasta, it’s your love life. And hey, if it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll have some hilarious stories to tell your future therapist!

(Please don't bill me for your therapy bill. I'm broke.)  

It’s scientifically engineered, which means it’s flawless. Trust me, I’m very smart. Sign up now, and may your love life finally flourish. If it doesn’t, well, you can’t say I didn’t try.  

Sincerely, your friendly campus cupid, 

Lee Heeseung <3 

*Disclaimer: The university, nor I, takes no responsibility for any romantic entanglements, awkward encounters, or sudden realizations that you might be better off single. Please use the MatchMatic 3000 responsibly.* 

[nullsleepy]

The Strike of a Villainess

Chapter 6: MIRACULOUS-

Chapter 1 Chapter 7 Ao3

——///———///————

“Not again!” Marinette groaned as she fell straight into her pillow, clutching her phone. The screen shined a bright red with “Bad Ending: 09” flashing white. “How was I supposed to know Cedric was one of those dop- dopple-UGH whatever those things are!?”

“Calm down, Master.” Wayzz patted her back before grabbing her phone to show her the image of Cedric she had screenshotted before. “Look here!”

“What is it, Wayzz?” Marinette pouted, moving her head to look at the kwami and her phone screen.

“Notice his eyes, Master. What color are they?” Wayzz grinned at her as he held the screen to her face.

“Green? But what about that?” Marinette sat up, crossing her arms as she sat with her legs together.

“If you look through your screenshots of the Doppelgängers, you’ll notice that they all share the same characteristics: green eyes, a mark on their neck, and they are always smiling!”

Marinette narrowed her eyes, her hand on her chin as she leaned closer. “You’re right, Wayzz. Great job!”

The kwami beamed up at her, flying up at her hand.

“Let’s work together to beat this cellular device, Master!”

——————

“We need to stop her from infecting others, but how?” Marinette sat on the floor, paper scattered all around her. The cold metal of the pen was warm against her lips as she nibbled on its edge.

“Just kill her. Make a statement to future enemies.” Paris responded, flying up beside her, small arms crossed.

“Kill-? No. There’s definitely a way to defeat her without… doing that.” Marinette laid back on the ground, staring at the ceiling. “If I could just.. purify her, everything would be so easy.”

“Purify? What do you mean?” Paris landed on her forehead, tilting its head as it leaned in. Marinette just groaned as she pouted.

“As ladybug, I could purify an evil object and turn it, and everything it affected, back to normal. As if it never happened.”

“…? So you wish to transform her? Into something normal?”

“Sure. Let’s go with that.” Marinette sat up, catching the kwami as it fell from her head. “Do you know a way to do that?”

“I don’t, but I’m sure the book does.” Paris gestured to the book on her desk, lightly glowing green. “It knows everything.”

“…but what’s the cost?” Marinette looked at the book with narrowed eyes.

“…it’s own existence is a cost. She - I mean the book. The book won’t do anything to you but give you the knowledge you seek.” The kwami looked down, as if solemn.

“Fine then. I’ll trust you. And this book.” Marinette stood up, carefully walking up to the book, reaching out a hand. “But if there is a cost, I promise you’ll regret tricking me.”

“There isn’t.”

Marinette nodded, touching the book as a green gas expanded around the room, forcing her to cover her eyes. A few coughs escaped her lips as the green gas overcame her senses.

After a few moments, Marinette opened her eyes and looked around her to see a blank room, with a pink laptop in front of her. Without hesitation, Marinette sat down and opened the laptop, noticing it was just like her’s.

“Thought some familiarity would help! :^3 -N” She pulled off a sticky note from the screen, crumpling it up as tears started to form.

“Damn it.” Marinette mumbled as she wiped her eyes, looking at the background screen of a picture with her and her friends. She still wished for it all to be some sick joke. Or a nightmare. Or anything but her reality.

The screen flickers before turning into a search engine, typing in “Purification Magic” by itself. As the results appeared, the mouse hovered above download on the top one.

“I guess you’re telling me what to do now.” Marinette spoke into the air before clicking down, downloading the result. She felt a wave of something go across her before she noticed a door to her left.

She gave the laptop a hug before standing up and walking towards the door. Her eyes lingered on the laptop as her hand remained still on the doorknob.

“I’ll finish this and go home. I promise.” Marinette turned away, going through the door.

————

“Hey. Hey. Hey.” Marinette’s eyes flickered open as she felt soft touches to her cheek, seeing the kwami on her face.

“Yes?” Marinette sat back up, noticing the paper around her and the book tightly held in her arms.

“You passed out after touching the book. Needed to make sure you didn’t die.” Paris responded, flying away to sit on the desk. “So? Did it work?”

Marinette looked down at the book in her hands, before grinning as she looked up. “For some reason, I think so.”

“Think?”

“Know so. Come on, we have a doppelgänger to catch!” Marinette felt her energy return at the thought of defeating something- of saving others.

Marinette hugged the book tightly, watching it suddenly disappear as something warm made its way onto the skin of her chest. For reasons she couldn’t explain, she wasn’t scared.

“Well? You ready? I’m going to need you if I want this to work!” Marinette grinned at the kwami as she held out her hand, more confident than ever.

“…me? You need me?” Paris flew into her hand, touching her palm.

“Yes, silly! I can’t purify anything if I don’t have a kwami!”

“Wait- WAIT! Are you going to transform? Using me?!”

“Yeah? I need your power to defeat her so I can purify her.”

“But- but I’ve never transformed before- not in- not in a long, LONG time! What if it doesn’t work- or what if-”

“Just listen to me. It’ll be fine, alright? We got this, Paris!”

“Fine…” Paris flew around her, landing on her head. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Alright! Let’s do this!!” Marinette’s hand reached out to the door knob as she felt her chest warm again. Her eyes glowed a powerful blue and her smile was as vicious as it was elegant. She could already feel the sparks of battle against her skin.

———-

Next

Taglist(open): @fangirlingfanatic @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks @iinhalemayonnaise @kking13 @xxcalypso-phoenixheartxx @khneltea

Notes: WOHOOOOOO! Finished it on the day of/right now! Also am dealing with medical stuff so I’m struggling so while I’m trying to update every week, idk if I will be able to. Thanks for reading!

[mahou-furbies]

My game dev journey is inching forward slowly. I'm still very far from being able to create anything proper, but so far I have worked on a tutorial project even a little almost every day, so there's at least some progress.

The whole thing started when I thought of how I would like to have this one feature in a farming sim, but that I've never seen it in any of the ones I now, and was kind of pissed about it. But when I thought about it for more than 10 seconds it became very clear that it's not something you could just slap on at the end and would instead require the whole game to be built around it. Then I started to come up with ways how it could be implemented and- hey, Stardew Valley was made by just one guy right? Not that whatever I would create would be, like, good, because I am not the Stardew Valley guy, but it's still an encouraging thought that making a full game on your own is possible. So after 2-3 failed attempts several years earlier I downloaded Unity again and started looking at tutorials.

While working through early tutorials I was quite aware that a farming sim would be way too ambitious of a project for a first game and that I should start with something simpler. Luckily I had had a different idea of a magical girl RPG earlier, whose scope would be more manageable, so I changed plans to that. Also I remembered a tumblr post about a magical girl mascot themed manager simulator, which also super inspired me, but let's stick to top down 2d games now.

However the more I thought about my mahou rpg idea it became apparent that it too would be way too much, like I've envisioned turn based combat on a grid where I would have to write pathfinding for the AI, and you would have ally mahous whose behaviour changes based on your friendship level, and there would be a branching story and yeah this isn't going to fly either, it's best to scale down.

So the next idea was to just make the most basic version of walk around in an overworld + separate combat scene, rip it off pokemon or something, like the bare minimum that counts as a game. The plot can be DPPC fighting the monster of the week or something. Then again there's five of them and I don't want to have to deal with multiple player characters at once, so let's just give each of them their own stage. It ought to help build familiarity with the engine if I do the same simple thing five times.

So that is the current goal! Seems something that I could actually achieve too so let's hope for the best. Then again while thinking about this DPPC idea I also realised that if it works out I could actually try telling the main DPPC story with a video game; if you remember I once agonised that after the death of Flash there hasn't really been a medium for me to use on the DPPC story, because I can't write prose, or use comic book storytelling, or create animations (nor do I care to learn). But this could be the solution! Then again I don't think the DPPC story is that well suited for a video game since it has multiple/rotating protagonists and a lot of the story is told through flashbacks, but it should be possible to cram it in somehow. So that is idea number 5!

Mind you I am still not out of the tutorial phase of learning to use Unity, and here I am with multiple multi-year game project ideas. But it's so much fun thinking about them! I've felt super inspired these past few weeks and it feels great! I will actually do the small DPPC thing first though and then figure out if I want to have anything to do with game dev any more after that. Also of course the ideas for the DPPC "demo" have ballooned in scope before I've even started it, but hopefully I'll manage to stick to the basics when I actually see what it's like to implement it.

Right now the plan is to catch up with the ongoing tutorial series I've been following, and after that start a new project for DPPC. Let's see how it goes!

[lynnbecksart]

Some kinda lady with a ring for a head!

You might notice that her head is kinda. Pixelly. That's because it's actually a 2D prerendered sprite, enhanced with the magic of normal, specular and emission maps to fake directional lighting and shading!

Head textures below, along with a tutorial explaining how to make normal-mapped images.

(clockwise from top-left; colour/alpha, normal, roughness, emission)

Ok so basically. Here's how you make a normal map from a render:

Step 1 - use shift+a to make an object.

In this case, it's the good old Utah Teapot, a version of which is included in the Extra Mesh Objects extension (which you can download from Blender's Preferences -> Get Extensions menu).

Step 2 - add a camera and set it to your chosen viewpoint

Protip: go to View -> Align View and select Active Camera to View.

Then, while in the camera view (numpad 0, if you have one), press N and, on the right-side panel, navigate to View, and under "View Lock", click "camera to view". This allows you to move the camera using Blender's normal camera controls. Be sure to turn it off if you want to leave the camera view, otherwise you can mess up your intended viewpoint.

Step 3 - mess around with the camera and image-size settings

Ok so what you want to do first is change your image's resolution. For this I'm setting it to 1024x1024, but you can make it whatever size you want.

If you want to, you can also fiddle with the camera settings, but I'm keeping them standard because it's easier than explaining what everything does.

If you've been following this properly up to this point, your window should look something like this, and you're ready for the next step;

Step 4 - rendering your image, but also there's some stuff to do before that before that

Ok so go to the search-bar on the right and type "transp", then click the "Transparent" box under "Film" on the Render tab. This will make the render's background transparent; remember this, it will come up again later.

Next, add a Sun (shift+a -> Light -> Sun) and point it away from the camera's position (this is easier if you switch to wireframe); the position of the Sun doesn't matter, just its rotation (since it's a sun, and just kinda. Projects directional light at everything that isn't covered by an object. Kinda like the actual sun does). I also recommend fiddling with the Sun's Angle parameter. Just make sure the light is, like, "even"(?) on the object (since having too many prominent shadows or highlights will look weird once you get the Normal Map set up).

Press F12 to render your base image. I'm using the Eevee renderer because I don't want this post to take longer to make than it probably already will. Save the image somewhere memorable, preferrably a folder dedicated to this project. Save the model there too, while you're at it.

Step 5 - the easy bit

Go to the Render tab and change the Render Engine option to "Workbench".

Change the "Lighting" option to MatCap, and select the second-to-last option on the top row.

Remember the Film -> Transparent thing from earlier? Told you it'd come back. Uncheck it, the next thing requires it.

Go to the World tab, go to Viewport Display, and change the Colour thing to the hexcode 8181FF (or, if you're a nerd who manually puts in their RGB values, 129 129 255).

If you try rendering now, you'll notice it looks kinda off; it's all washed out, and maybe even the wrong hue.. That's because there's one more step before you can start messing around with normal maps!

Step 6 - I had to figure this out myself and good gravy do I wish I knew about it before

Fun fact; Blender has colour-correction! And to turn it off. All you have to do is go to the Render tab, scroll all the way down, and under the Colour Management tab, change View Transform from "AgX" to "Standard".

Step 7 - ok back to rendering

Press F12 again, and you should get a beautiful normal map! Save this to the same place as the base image.

Step 8 - hope you like material nodes!!!!

Switch back to Eevee, and hide the Collection all your stuff is in, and make a new one. Hold Alt and rotate your view so that the little angle gizmo on the top-right shows "-Y". Create a camera, right click it and click "set active camera", and then do the "align active camera to view" thing.

Set the camera to Orthographic. Note that scrolling with Lock -> Camera to View doesn't actually zoom; zooming is instead done via the thing below the Type dropdown.

Add a Plane, rotated 90° so it's facing towards the camera, and mess around with the camera controls until it fits into the camera's view.

On the top tabs, switch to "Shading".

Click "New" on the panel below the viewport to create a new texture (or, if you haven't modified the default texture, use the dropdown next to the "New" button to select that instead). Then, recreate the setup shown in the image.

Add another Sun, and play around with the angle. If you did it properly, the image should appear to have proper shading that changes with the light's position (if it looks weird, play around with the Strength parameter and the dropdown on the Normal Map node).

And you're done! This can be used for a lot of stuff, like I learned about this technique from a YouTube video about Super Mario Bros. Wonder modding.

Anyway I need to sleep. It's nearly 6am in my timezone and I haven't slept. If there are any errors in this post, it's because I was writing this instead of going to bed. Uhhhh good night I guess

Also please ignore that the textures in the bits with the plane don't match the renders I showed earlier; I accidentally messed up the camera's position and forgot to save the normal map, so I had to redo both of them :(