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hiyo-silver · 7 years ago

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Storytime - Richie's Nostalgia

Summary: Richie tries to tell a story about he and Bill when they were younger before he gets carried away and has to delete the footage because it reveals too much personal information on Bill.

Chap 1 + Chap 2 + Chap 3 + AO3 + My Masterlist

Taglist: @fuckboykaspbrak @thesquidliesthuman @starboystan @rachi0964 @ahoybyeler @beepbeep-losers @bigbilliamdenbro @jalenrose1122 @sleepygaybrough @itandstrangerthingsfanfic @boopboopbichie @peachywyatt @aizeninlefox @sockwantstodie

Richie sits in front of the camera, plopping on the couch in such a fashion that makes the springs in the cushions creak loudly under his weight. He grins to himself, adjusting his glasses as he goes to flip open the viewfinder and click the on button green

He lays back on the back of the couch, getting comfortable, even "man spreading" as Beverly calls it when he does, she always opens her legs wider than he does. He doesn't seem to mind, she's more dominant than he is anyways.

He smiles lazily at the camera in his lowering high, a couple bong hits an hour ago leaves him feeling much smoother than he really is. "Hello, viewers, friends, subscribers," he starts with the grin, leaning forward now with his elbows on his knees.

"Today, boy do I have a story for you," he says, shaking his head with a grin wider than ever. "We're talking about me and Billy Boy in highschool," he says with an eyebrow waggle that goes as long and has far as to make his forehead a bit sore.

"We were fifteen at the time, good times, good times..." He trails off into the story.

Bill slams his locker shut, huffing deeply and jumping when he sees Richie standing straight in front of him in the near empty hallway. He's leaving early because he had an anxiety attack in class over the upcoming geometry presentation he has to do. It doesn't even make sense, why would I need to talk in front of the class about numbers, that's what the teacher is for.

"Heya Billiam, you need someone to go with you? I know your folks probably won't do you any good," Richie offers, his voice losing the normal kick it usually has in favor of something soft and soothing and actually careful, cautious of how Bill may be feeling.

Bill hesitates for a moment, knowing that means Richie will be absent for the day too and he'd feel awful if he got in trouble for it. Richie cares more about his friends than he cares for himself, leaving him in constant trouble with the adults in Derry. He especially speaks out much too much, leaving many people upset with him.

"Sure, R-r-rich, I th-think I'd like that," he says softly, hugging his composition notebook tight to his chest for comfort. He decides he doesn't want to be alone all day, having only made it to the first hour of school, since geometry is set as his second.

Richie nods with a small smile, only letting the corners of his lips tilting up in his normal smirk. He tries to act normal as he takes Bill's hand to drag him off to the front entrance, carrying Bill's backpack and his own.

"Silver doing you good still, Big Bill?" Richie asks, trying to start a conversation that would build Bill up instead of making him feel any worse than he already does.

Bill nods, "She's th-the most p-p-powerful steed," he says surely, still basing much of his pride in his bike, the very one he'd bought for himself after Georgie's death.

"I believe you, Billy," Richie says proudly, climbing on to his own rickety bike, the seat too low for his legs that had shot out like beanstalks once his middle school growth spurt hit.

Bill only smiles softly as he clambers on Silver, her mighty self still proving too tall for even Bill's current height, taller than even Richie's.

They share a look before both starting to pedal at the same pace, taking different amounts of strength to go the same speed due to the difference in bike sides.

Eventually they hit the park, Richie looking to Bill for some sort of direction, "We going to yours or mine?" He asks, looking down at his feet, kicking at the dirt path so dust bubbles up into the air.

"M-mine sounds good, I l-love your mom but I d-don't wanna w-worry her," Bill says, already obviously sure in his decision, his response coming almost immediately.

Richie only nods, bringing his foot back up to the pedal. He starts a bit too slow, wobbling to the side a little, catching himself by kicking his foot to the ground before bringing it back up to speed after Bill who got farther while Richie was struggling with his pedals.

They both smile devilishly at each other, speeding forward at each other to try and be the faster one, every ride is an unspoken race when it's just the two of them.

Once they arrive at the Denbrough residence (Bill pulled into the driveway first but Richie refuses to accept it) Bill lets them in with the key under the garden gnome on his front porch.

He walks in, dropping his backpack immediately to the floor with a thump. He sighs to himself, rubbing his hands over his face and sighing, running his hands through his ginger hair. He truly just wants to calm himself, but that means letting the rest of the pent up anxiety out before it can feel better.

Bill lets a few tears stream down in salty orbs that represent how he's feeling, obviously pretty awful if he's allowing himself to cry around another person. As fast as the tears started, they stop abruptly, he quickly swipes them away with long sweatshirt sleeves that cover his hands like little paws.

In this moment he looks nothing to Richie but a younger version of the Bill everyone knows. Seeming small, nearly fragile and like he could fall apart further if Richie missteps.

Richie can't help but drop his bag as well to wrap his lanky arms around Bill clumsily, holding him for a few moments as the boy shudders slightly under his touch. "You're okay, Bill, I can leave if you need me to," Richie offers, feeling Bill shake his head quickly against his neck.

Bill finally pulls away, looking Richie square in the eye, "C-can you get the bl-blue blanket from my bed? I'll m-make us tea, think it'll c-calm me down," he says, slowly making a plan in his head for the two of them.

Richie nods in response, looking a bit bewildered about how the leader in Bill had immediately come back in that moment, a pop up of the version he often sees.

Richie trudges his way up the creaky wooden steps to the upstairs bedroom. He opens Bill's closed door, stepping into the room. He feels wrong entering alone, it's always with Bill and he feels as if he's intruding now.

Bill's room is the epitome of the room that belongs to a creative but sad person, in other words, it's an absolute disaster. He has a way of organizing, he just never seems to use his method of organization after he's started it.

Richie pulls the fuzzy blue throw blanket from atop the comforter that lays all wrinkled on the sheets. He folds it neatly enough, hugging it to his chest as he goes to the door, closing it behind him only lightly, not wanting to disturb anything.

He makes his way downstairs to where tea is steeping on the counter but no signs of Bill's presence in the kitchen. Then, suddenly, Bill pops out from the dining room, his phone timer still going off until he clicks it off hastily to pull the tea bags out of the mugs, wincing a bit at the hot water that runs up his arms as he walks them to the trash can.

"T-tea's ready," Bill says sheepishly, wiping his arms down with a paper towel, knowing he'll probably feel sticky until the next shower, though he realizes that he really just doesn't care.

"I see that, I can carry them?" Richie offers, grabbing Bill a second paper towel, looking down at his own hoodie and back at Bill's wet sleeves, "And do you want my hoodie? I know you get cold," Richie tests carefully.

Bill nods hesitantly, starting to pull off his own sweatshirt to take up Richie's offer. He's a bit shy, a few stray marks on his arms where he picked at his skin in the strong state of anxiety he'd been in earlier.

Richie quickly pulls off his hoodie, still warm so when Bill pulls it on it feels almost like it's fresh out of the dryer, just as he likes it.

Richie grabs the mugs, a blue one and a yellow one, knowing Bill almost always uses the yellow one, the blue one is his second choice, which definitely makes Richie feel honored. "Where we goin', chief?" He asks with a playful smile.

"I'll l-lead you," Bill says, his tone telling Richie just to be patient, Bill is obviously in one of those moods, and chances are that his surprise won't be negative, knowing him. He's a careful leader and fears nothing more than losing people he loves, which means that he would be especially upset if he scared them off by mistake.

Richie just nods, letting Bill carry the blanket. He watches carefully as Bill drapes it around his shoulders, making himself into a walking human burrito as he walks the two of them towards the room nobody ever seems to open, not for years at least.

Bill opens the door, filling their eyes with yellow and blue and plush toys, an intact Lego turtle sitting neatly on the bedside table just as it should, becoming the first thing seen whenever someone goes in.

Bill crawls right into the small bed, obviously little as it was meant for a boy as young as the age of six. He pats the side next to him, slipping off his shoes and letting them tumble to the floor, better there than on the bed. He'd wash the sheets if he dirtied them but maybe then they'd feel less like Georgie's.

Richie takes off his shoes before sitting in next to Bill, carefully sliding the tea onto the bedside table without touching the turtle. It's not his to touch and he knows that both he and Bill know that.

"It j-just hurts a lot," Bill says softly, whenever he falls apart everything seems to rush back, he's not gotten enough closure on the situation, he truly wishes that it had all ended differently so he could feel differently.

Richie sighs, looking down at his fidgety hands that he holds in his lap so he wouldn't feel so annoying. "I know, Billy, you deserve better," he says quietly, reaching one of said hands over to Bill's shoulder to rub it comfortingly until he feels the other boy quiver with tears again.

"I'm s-sorry," is all the usually stoic boy says in a near whine, unable to get the words out properly.

Richie's heart melts for him, leaning over to hug him, brushing the tears away with his thumb, looking into Bill's watery eyes. "I'm always here for you, I love you," Richie reminds, leaning in to press a peck to Bill's lips, something out of the ordinary for them but Bill doesn't seem to mind.

Richie snaps from his storytelling, looking into the camera and shaking his head to himself, "God, I can't post that," he reminds himself, reaching forward to shut off the camera, taking the SD card to wipe the filming session from it as if he hadn't gotten teary and nostalgic about that story for the past half an hour.

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fly-pow-bye · 7 years ago

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Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Blundercup”

Written by: Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Leticia Abreu Silva, John Martinez

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

"Butter makes everything taste better." - Ina Garten

The episode starts with a montage of Buttercup doing radical things. Punching an pig shaped alarm clock to get it to stop! Grinding down the stairway in her Derbytante gear! Making broccoli explode, showing that she hasn’t learned anything since the Brocolloids incident! Punching out that one generic monster guy! Being late for that advanced math class, judging by the background and not the almost entirely different teacher, and breaking a clock in response!

And, finally, kicking a kickball really hard into the sky. So hard, they needed to cover up the impact with a hit flash. In this TV-Y7-FV show, not only can we not see that aforementioned monster getting punched, we can't even see a ball getting hit! I'm sure all the balls in the audience would be happy to not see such wanton violence against their kind.

This was all a montage in an in-universe sense: Buttercup decided to make a video about how she's a great superhero. Who recorded Buttercup doing all of these things? Pineapples. We know it's not Bubbles because she reviews it like an art critic. Blossom isn't as big of a fan of this video.

Blossom spends the entirety of the episode nagging Buttercup on how useless she's being. She reminds Buttercup that she promised to make dinner, and she apparently hasn't made dinner for a whole week. She also tells Buttercup that kickball was the last kickball the school had, so they have to use a empty plastic milk jug instead. She then throws the plastic jug at her head, mostly to prove that it would not give her a dent in the head. Trust me, that's the reason, and it seems rather necessary in this show.

She does get another fan, as we cut to a very buttery person clicking the subscribe button, while laughing evilly. No, this doesn't turn into a "be wary of strangers on the internet" episode, though this scene makes me think it could.

I can't help but notice those recommended videos. Specifically, that one in the middle. Outside of this, this episode rarely uses any outright wacky face gags, even if an ability Buttercup will get later in the episode could allow that. Also, there's a model of a muscular Wonder Woman with a golden helmet. Maybe that's their way to save Wonder Woman from that horrible skimpy clothing she had.

The next day, according to an entirely different narrator that never appears again, Buttercup tries to repeat her performance from yesterday. Unfortunately, as soon as she loses balance and falls off of the guard rail she was grinding on, something is immediately off. She gets hit with the refrigerator door. Worst of all, she walks out of the school, and apparently convinced Blossom to do the same! At least this is supposed to be awkward.

After all of this, Buttercup is worried that she's losing all of her mojo. No points for guessing the joke they do with that line. Bubbles shows up with "scoupons" for free ice cream at Penguin Pete's, but Buttercup denies the offer. I can't help but notice they named that ice cream parlor far more than the school where most of these episodes take place. Shows their priorities. Suddenly, Barry says "look out", and Buttercup wasn't quick enough to avoid it.

She gets hit with an empty milk carton, which the school has to use instead of a kickball because Buttercup hit flashed their last one. Yes, they have to re-remind us about this, but it is helpful if you tuned out Blossom’s nagging. A major difference from the previous scene is that it actually does give her a dent in her forehead. See, that was really the reason, and Buttercup is about to find out why this is.

She walks home, apparently due to flying power getting sapped away, sweating yellow while trying to remind herself that she's awesome. She goes into the bathroom to find out that she's melting from being in the sun too long! See, Buttercup is turning into butter. I can't decide if I hate that idea or tolerate it. Her sorrow at this turn of events gets immediately interrupted by Blossom and Bubbles knocking at the door.

Buttercup: Uh, someone's in here!

Bubbles: I think she's pooping!

Bubbles just has no shame, doesn't she? They ask Buttercup why she's home, as she told them she was going to stay at Penguin Pete's to show off some more. Buttercup did not take that offer for those free scoupons, so she tries to find out what's going on by sneaking out the bathroom window. She apparently had enough flying power to do that. They never do figure out what's going on.

She finds herself chugging an entire tub of ice cream and somehow not getting an ice cream headache. Everyone is cheering her name, nobody knowing that this Buttercup is an impostor, while the buttery Buttercup can just watch as she gets all of the glory.

This faker meets up with the real Buttercup, and calls her "Butterfingers". This is the closest we get to a name for this villain, by the way; this villain isn't in the credits. I could tell it's Natalie Palamides doing the voice, as the body snatcher's voice is just a slightly lower Buttercup's voice. At least that avoids the usual problem with body swap episodes; they just happened to share those vocal cords.

If they swapped bodies, why did Buttercup look like and have the flight ability of the real Buttercup in the morning? Did Butterfingers have to slowly turn into Buttercup, too? The answer to both of those questions is also pineapples. However, Butterfingers does tell Buttercup the story that led up to this possession.

We get to see Butterfingers’ previous form: a normal slacker kid that wants to be a superhero like all the people in the comics! They have superpowers, and, most importantly, they fight giant robots and monsters! They don't just eat ice cream, kick those poor little kickballs, and be late for school, after all.

They cut to these panels while this kid is talking about how cool superheroes are, and I can't help but feel a bit confused. It looks like this superhero guy did all the work beating up that evil Hulk and the giant robot, and then this superheroine just shows up, beats him up, and just heroically stands on top of his buried body. The most charitable explanation is that this is supposed to parallel the Penguin Pete's scene, but it seems more like a misguided "girl power" joke.

Unfortunately, Butterfingers is just an ordinary kid who slacks off all day reading comics. No way will kicking out the bad guys, beating up the monsters, fighting against evil, and rescuing the town be in this person's future.

This all changed when this comic fan was involved in an accident at the County Science Fair of Food! A nuclear-fusion deep fryer exploded, accidentally fusing this person’s DNA with the butter. Finally, superpowers!

One thing that really interests me about this plot is the implication that there are other superheroes around. There are supervillains, even supervillains that have superpowers, but the idea of other superheroes being in the Powerpuff Girls wasn't touched upon that often. Even in the original, there were a few one-episode-wonders like Captain Righteous from Fallen Arches and Major Glory's crossover appearance in Members Only. It's cool to see this idea getting a little more spread out in the reboot. Like butter!

Unfortunately, Butterfingers realizes that these butter abilities aren't very good for fighting giant monsters. Butterfingers constantly gets chased by dogs, people scoff at the existence of this buttery being, and buttery hands ends up being very inconvenient for driving a car. Buttercup does ask whether this person is even old enough to drive. It seems like how these people are supposed to be little kids seems to be an afterthought most of the time, so I am glad that joke exists.

This ends up being a rather interesting jumping point for this "other superhero" plot. The Powerpuff Girls, and even the Reboot Puffs to some extent, have essentially won, if not the Superpower Lottery, then the Superpower $5,000 and a Free Spin. Now we see a superhero who feels like they got the Superpower Whammy, and the envy is what drives this villain's act of villainy.

Wallowing in sorrow, this butter-being looks up videos on this episode's YouTube equivalent. They were never really consistent about it; a certain episode even had the website call itself Me2Tube and TvTV in the same shot. There’s a possibility that this was meant to a reference to former short video website Vine, which probably still existed. though this "SuperCut" is way too long to be one.

Apparently finding out where the Powerpuff Girls live from the SuperCut video, this creepy butter person sneaks into the Powerpuff home and uses the "butter fusion" powers that this person happened to know about. Switching bodies is not exactly fusion, but whatever.

If this kid can take over other people's bodies, why didn't "just use the ability to take over other people's bodies like The Thing or Mario from Mario Odyssey" come to mind? This may be a subtle hint that this villain isn't very creative, which is actually something that comes up in this episode.

Butterfingers, the one that possessed Buttercup's body, decides to melt Buttercup with eye lasers, causing her to go into the sewers.

Butterfingers: Butter luck next time! Hahahahaha!

Butterfingers even absorbed her ability to make bad puns!

Butterfingers does a SuperCut video to show off the awesome might of the new body. There’s definitely a contrast between this scene and the real Buttercup’s video from the beginning. Unlike Buttercup’s, which features her doing ordinary rascal things, some of which involving superpowers, Butterfinger’s idea is to just have violence against a bunch of giant monsters. That’s what superheroes are all about to this former butter-person’s mind. Apparently, Butterfingers never needed any help from the other two, because neither Blossom nor Bubbles talks about how they were there.

They do, however, protest about something else. Blossom is just as impressed as the last time someone with a green dress shown her a video, and even Bubbles decides this video was a step down from the previous one. Bubbles even gets to do her usual thing by yelling at Butterfingers to get in the kitchen. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't word it like that. Unlike the last episode, the problems do not get solved by a tantrum.

Blossom and Bubbles don’t get to do much, but they don’t really get in the way, either. We just get occasional jokes about how Bubbles is starving. If the girls are waiting for Buttercup to make them a salad, why is Blossom not starving too? Much like randomly using a word to describe nonsense, it's probably just bad writing.

Butterfingers isn't too happy about this, needless to say. The villain even complains about how none of this has anything to do with punching giant monsters in the face. I wonder if this is a jab at people complaining about how PPG 2016 isn't as violent as if it's the only problem with the show. You know, aside from all the pineapples.

Eventually, Buttercup, the one that was turned into butter, shows up, persumably coming from the sewers. Got to say; I wish we could have saw that adventure. Maybe she met a rat who taught her everything to do with the way of the Bataa. Paula Deen-Jutsu? I don't know.

Because she’s a more experienced superhero, she’s able to learn to use the Butterfinger’s abilities far better than this slacker did. This shows that even butter abilities can be useful with enough practice. Maybe the toughest fighter doesn't need a reason to be as cool as she is, especially when she's fighting against someone who is clearly a slacker that wanted to be superpowerful.

Butterfingers ends up begging Buttercup for mercy. In a twist of fate, Butterfingers learns that with hard work and patience, anyone can achieve their goals. Butterfingers gives back Buttercup her body, and then goes off and fights crime in some other city, learning new techniques along the way. And then Scrooge McDuck shows up to tell Butterfingers to get off of his lawn.

If you haven't guessed yet, I was joking. As Buttercup accepts this mercy, Butterfingers tries to backstab her by melting her again. Buttercup then reforms, missing an opportunity to reference Watchmen, and then envelops Butterfingers with that same "butter fusion" power. It is left entirely in our imagination to what happened next; we never see Butterfingers again.

Also, there's the implication that Butterfingers apparently smothered Buttercup while she was sleeping, if this is the way the fusion power works. Maybe this person is beyond redemption anyway.

What we do know is that Buttercup ends up getting her body back from that. She explains everything that happened, and Blossom tells her none of that matters. Blossom gives up on Buttercup ever following her promises, and decides to order a pizza for the dying Bubbles. The end.

Does the title fit?

They had the perfect pun, and they decided not to use it. Maybe they wanted it keep the butter twist a surprise, as the TV Guide description doesn’t say this is an episode about Buttercup turning into butter...but that’s ruined by the title card being a stick of butter. Also, the Amazon description spoiled it, too.

How does it stack up?

This episode’s idea should have lead to one of the worst episodes ever, but I honestly think this ended up being one of the better ones. Interesting execution, and a moral I could stand behind. Even the way they barely use the other two means that there's no scenes that are a waste of time in this episode.

I could still find problems, though. The way they handled the villain in the end seems really lazy; it would have been cool to see Buttercup teach this kid said moral. Then again, that's expecting way too much out of this show. Despite that, I can't help but like this episode a little more than usual. Maybe you disagree, maybe you don't.

Next, I'm going to push this rock up the hill once again.

← Largo ☆ Ragnarock and Roll →

#fpb ppg 2016 #ppg 2016 #fpb reviews #powerpuff girls #cartoon network

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scottmapess · 4 years ago

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foodtrails25-blog · 6 years ago

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Kashmiri Pulao, a rich Pulao recipe from the beautiful state of Kashmir (India). A flavourful rice preparation where, cooked rice is tossed in nuts/dry fruits and fresh together. The dish is also infused with saffron milk for the flavour and beautiful color.

Kashmir in India is known for its natural beauty. Kashmir not only has beautiful landscapes with some of the most beautiful gardens in world, but also has a rich traditional cuisine. Kashmiri Cuisine (food from Kashmir) has some of the most flavourful and rich dishes. Rice is the dish of Kashmiris and it is consumed with various gravies or in the form of biryanis and pulaos.

Kashmiri Pulao is slightly different from our usual pulao recipes. The pulao has a slight sweeter taste and rice is cooked in milk. Cooked rice is then tossed with fried onions, dry fruits and fresh fruits like apples, pomegranate and grapes. Making Kashmiri Pulao may seem a time consuming process but believe it is very simple and the delicious rich pulao is ready within 30 minutes.

What I need to make Kashmiri Pulao..

A good quality basmati rice. Long grain rice with each grain separate.

Saffron.. infused in milk or directly added to rice along with milk.

Nuts of your choice like almonds, cashew nuts, pistachios and raisins or dried cranberries. Many people also add dates and dried apricots..

Fresh fruits like apples, grapes and pomegranate.

Pulao is cooked in desi ghee. It enhances the taste and makes rice more flavourful.

Fried Onions.

To get perfectly cooked Pulao

There are many variations of Kashmiri Pulao and people have different way of making it.This may not be the authentic way to make Kashmiri Pulao, but is somewhat close to what is served in restaurants. Years back I saw this recipe on a NDTV Show. I make it sometimes on special occasions and is my hubby’s favourite. Once I served it to our American guests and they loved this rich Pulao recipe.

Let’s see how to make this flavourful rich Kashmiri Pulao.

Kashmiri Pulao

1.5 Cup Basmati Rice

1/2 Cup Milk

8-10 Saffron Strands

1/2 Cup Thinly sliced Onions

8-10 Almonds

8-10 Cashew Nuts

10-12 Raisins and Cranberries

2 tbsp Desi Ghee

1 tsp Cumin Seeds/Jeera

2 Bay Leafs

1 Cinamon Stick

2 Black Cardamons

3-4 Green Cardamons

4-5 Cloves

4-5 Black Peppercorns

4-5 Mint Leaves

1 tsp Fennel Seeds

1/4 Cup Sliced apples cubes

1 tbsp Pomegranate Seeds

Salt to taste

Wash rice -2-3 times. Soak in enough water for at least 30 min. Add saffron strands in milk to prepare infused saffron milk.

In a pan fill enough water and cook rice till half done. Drain water from rice and keep aside.

In a pan add ghee and fry cashew nuts and almonds till light brown and give aroma. Take out and keep aside.

Add raisins and cranberries and fry for a minute. Take out and keep aside.

Add thinly sliced onions, and fry till brown, Add sugar, it helps in quick caramelization of onions.

Once the onions are brown, take out. Imn the remaining oil add the whole spices and rice and salt.

Add saffron infused rice, onions, fried nuts and dry fruits(raisins and cranberries).

Mix rice with other ingredients with very light hands. Take care the rice should not get mushy.

Add mint leaves roughly torn. Cover the pan with for few minutes and keep for 5 minutes on low flame. This will infuse all the flavours in rice,

Before serving garnish pulao with pomegranate seeds and cubed apples.

To prepare rice refer to Steamed Rice post. Cook rice till half done, then drain the water and use rice as per recipe directions.

Also you can cook rice with bay leaf and cardamoms and other whole spices.

You can also prepare jeera rice and then add the other ingredients as per the recipe.

Stepwise Pics

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Do try this version of Kashmiri Pulao. It is a crowd pleaser and goes well with gravies like Matar Paneer or Dum Aloo and even Dal Makhani. I am sure you and your loved ones will love this. Make it on special occasions or festivals or get togethers.

Do visit my social media accounts.. FB, Pinterest and Instagram. Whenever you make this,do post on my FB page or tag me on Instagram. Pin the recipes for later use.

If you like my work, then do hit the follow button and subscribe to the blog to get notifications on new posts and share the blog with your loved ones. I promise won’t spam your mailbox 🙂.

This is 10th in my series of A-Z Biryani/Pulao/Khichdi dishes, that I am taking to Mega Blogging Marathon April’19.

Day 11th. J.. Kashmiri Pulao

This is an event where I along with a group of fellow bloggers are blogging everyday about Biryani/Pulao/Khichdi dishes this whole April, with Sundays off.

My earlier posts for the event..

Day 1. A.. Aloo Matar Ki Tehri

Day 2. B..Broccoli Mushroom Pulao

Day 3 . C..Chana Dal Khichdi

Day 4. D..Dhaniya Pulao

Day 5. E.. Easy Steamed Rice in Instant Pot with Pot in Pot Method

Day 6. F.. Fresh Mint and Peas Pulao

Day 7. G.. Gatte Ka Pulao

Day 8. H.. Hari Moong Dal Khichdi

Day 9. I.. Iyengar Puliyogare(Instant)

Day 10th. J.. Jeera Rice

Check out the Blogging Marathon page for the other Blogging Marathoners doing BM#99

Kashmiri Pulao Kashmiri Pulao, a rich Pulao recipe from the beautiful state of Kashmir (India). A flavourful rice preparation where, cooked rice is tossed in nuts/dry fruits and fresh together.

#featured #Gluten-free recipes #Mega Blogging Marathon #Rice Dishes #vegetarian food #Vegetarian recipes

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efosa123 · 6 years ago

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How To Make Money Online 2019! ($300 A Day!) I've been struggling to make money online or maybe you were just starting and you want to cut the learning curve off and be successful almost instantly make sure you watch this video it's going on YouTube Angemon I'm here back with another video for you guys and as I said before in today's video I'm gonna show you guys probably the best way to make money in 2019 in my personal opinion opinion I do believe with this one business I will make six figures this year and I think a lot of you guys can as well so I'm just gonna go through show you what the business is how to make money with it and everything you will need to know to actually be successful ok so if you guys are brand new to the channel and you want to see videos on how to make money online every single day be sure to hit that subscribe button if you guys do end up getting value from this video or just enjoy it I would appreciate it if you did hit that like button um and before we get into the content part I do want to announce the winner of my YouTube's passive income course from yesterday's video so I will put that winner here okay and if you want to win it yourself all you have to do I do it for every single video all you have to do is be subscribed like the video and then drop a comment and in each video I will pick a winner from the previous day's video right so for this video if you like and comment in tomorrow's video I will announce a winner from somebody that did that on this video so if you want to win my youth to passive income of course completely free be sure to LIKE subscribe and comment and without further ado let's get into the actual business model that will allow you to make tons of money online in 2019 alright everyone so we are now inside of my computer and I'm gonna be showing you guys the best way to make money online in 2019 so if you guys are ready to be successful make sure you guys watch this whole video through so you actually know what to do um and do it the right way right so um basically with the strategy we are gonna be doing affiliate marketing that's the video no I'm just kidding okay we're gonna be doing affiliate marketing but there's a certain product we're gonna be promoting and you guys can promote it as well I just started doing this I literally started this last night okay I haven't even started promoting it yet but I'm super excited and I think this is a six-figure business I know people that have made six videos with this product and I think you guys can do the same and you're gonna see why I think it is so powerful and why can make so much money for you know tons of people in 2019 right okay so this product that we're gonna be an affiliate for is called let me coming a little anti-climatic there um its builder all okay and for those of you that know me I've said on my channel before I don't like builder all and you know if you look through the comments when people ask me I will say I don't like builder all however I had heard they've been doing some updates and stuff so I decided to check it out last night okay so I bought the Builder all business plan it's $50 a month which is half the price of what clickfunnels costs and you get way more for your money now I will be using builder all and clickfunnels because I think there are good uses for both right and I do love both of them but I've been using builder all this past couple hours honestly like 1224 hours and just kind of going through everything and seeing if it's something I could actually use in 2019 and I definitely can okay they have improved on so much and so you know a lot of you had been asked to me okay clickfunnels is way too expensive for a beginner you know $97 a month you know you can't do that right okay well that's where builder all comes in builder all is half the price and you do get a lot more for your price right because with builder all you are getting email marketing as well so you're not gonna have to pay for an autoresponder so you're not gonna have to pay for a third-party software you're getting that included and you're getting a ton of other things right so I wanted to real quick talk about the affiliate program and then I will kind of go back through you know what builder all offers and why I do recommend it and then after that I'm gonna go ahead and show you guys what you're gonna get if you join my builder all team and this is going to be super super cool and I'm very excited to announce it but first I'm just gonna talk about the builder all affiliate program so let's go to the earnings calculator so with the Builder all affiliate program they have a super super good affiliate program right so basically it's recurring Commission which I always recommend right because you can get paid you know month after month and kind of count on the income coming in no matter what and then so for the first month which something which is something that most companies never do is that builder all gives you 100% Commission on the first month so for example since I paid $50 Liam James K personally was the person I signed up under and so he got all of my $50 for the first month right so say you sign up under me for the Builder all business plan I will get $50 from builder all for the first month and then after that I will get 30% every single month of what you're paying so you know 30 percent of 50 what like 15 bucks or so yeah I think it's 15 bucks anyway so I'll get $15 per month from every single person after the first month I'm gonna remember the first month they're getting 100% Commission which is insane and it gets better okay that that itself is great but listen to this okay so say you were to sign up under me okay then you got somebody to sign up under you I'm gonna get 30% on anybody you get to sign up and it's this two-tiered affiliate program right so let me draw this out for you actually just so I can explain it a little bit better let me do this white board a Friel quick just so I can explain it so you guys can see it visually right okay so we have me I will say me and then we'll have you right so say you sign up to builder all under me okay so the top top person is me I'll put em for me and why for you okay so so you sign up for builder all under me for the first month so I'll put first month say you sign up for the Builder or business plan I'm gonna get $50 okay I'm gonna get 100 percent commission of what you paid okay so the first month I'm gonna get $50 each month after that that you stay on right so I'll put I'll just put em here four months or whatever I'm gonna get about $15 recurring for every single month you stay on after the first month right okay so that's great but say you get somebody than to sign up under you right so then I'll put on me I'll just put my - okay so say you signed somebody up somebody joins under your affiliate link so then you're gonna go ahead and get $50 for the first month and 15 dollars every single month after but the cool thing is is that I from this person I'm gonna get 30% commission 30% commission every single month from this person just because you've got them to sign up right so this is where the money starts stacking because say you get this person to sign up and then that person gets three people to sign up under them and then those you know and then they get a couple more people and it go on so on and so forth and eventually you're starting this big huge tree of people and you're making a recurring Commission like crazy so let me show you some potential so I'm gonna go base off for what I think I can do and this year so I'm gonna say I don't I don't know I'm just gonna say let's say I can sell 500 license this year I think I can sell more honestly but that's a good goal to shoot for right I do think I can't sell more let's say most of you will do the bill draw a business plan which is $50 a month so I'll do 425 of you out of the 500 will do builder all business maybe the other 75 just do the regular builder I'll plan where they use the landing page and sales for most creators and all that but they don't promote it as an actual affiliate they just use it to you know build their business and stuff right and so then don't say for each of Philly I get let's say let's really really lowball this let's say each person only gets two people sign up okay look at that if each person I got only got two people sign up and you got to remember there's going to be people that I get to sign up that are gonna get hundreds of sales right and even if they just got two people I would be making twenty thousand and two hundred dollars every single month okay and then I would also be making about twenty five thousand dollars in immediate earnings from that first month right but then I have a recurring monthly income of over $20,000 just from doing this okay so let me do an example for if you did this so let's say you sell 50 license a month so less than one per week I think I think that's pretty doable right and I'm gonna show you guys in just a few minutes how you can actually get training and pretty much everything done for you to make it really easy and so let's say 40 of those people work as an affiliate even if you know two people sign up you're still gonna be making nearly $2,000 a month recurring you know say they get five people then you're almost $4,000 a month recurring and I think you can get way more than this right this is less than one per week so what you're actually gonna get since I signed up through Liam and this is a two-tier affiliate program right you're gonna be getting the same bonuses that I got from joining under him right so if you join under me you're not only gonna get bonuses for me which include my youtube passive income course and you're gonna get mentorship for me and you're gonna get my Instagram course completely free okay you're gonna get them all completely free right when you sign up so you're gonna get that for joining under me right but since I joined under Liam I'm also going to be giving you all of his bonuses so you're gonna be getting a step-by-step training course on affiliate marketing and how to actually promote builder all I went through myself it's extremely good and in-depth so if you don't know anything about affiliate marketing or you don't have an idea of how you can promote builder all he shows both free and paid methods to do it and he's actually made liam has made six figures in the past year promoting builder also he knows what he's talking about so you're gonna be getting me and him as a team so you guys are gonna be in good hands okay he also does mentoring coaching calls and he's also going to be giving you his done-for-you sales funnels so you can literally just download his sams sales funnels he's made that are already proven to work you can download them and put your own affiliate links and the funnels um and then just drive traffic to him using what he teaches you you're also going to go to Facebook Ads course if you want to learn Facebook you're going to get to join a exclusive Facebook group with like minded people that are in builder all and do affiliate marketing so you can make some really good connections you're also gonna get his high converting email swipes that you can use to send out to your email lists to get people to sign up to builder alright because email marketing is extremely important and like I said with builder all you do get an email marketing platform included with what you pay for for builder also you don't have to worry about getting a third-party autoresponder and he also gives you bonus cost for acquisition and clickbank affiliate marketing training so you know on builder all if you want to build some landing pages and sales funnels to promote Clickbank products and stuff of that nature you can do that and then you're gonna get unlimited support for me am so if you guys want to ask me or him any questions you're gonna have the opportunity to do that and so like you can see here he is the top affiliate builder all and you know I'm just starting but I hope to be up there by the end of this year that'd be really awesome and I think I can do as well as I think a lot of you can do it so what build are all includes you know they have drag-and-drop website builder you can build sales funnels they have a bunch of pre-made templates full email marketing autoresponder if you want to do webinars they do have a webinar platform you can create animations facebook chat facebook chat bot chat chat bot app where you can do like marketing through facebook Messenger which is really cool you can build apps design like ebook covers and stuff like that video creator presentation builder so on and so forth there's so much here okay you can build the online courses it's crazy it's it you get so much for your money so if you guys are interested go ahead and click the first link in the description and you will sign up under me and like I said once you do that go ahead and send me an email at info at and Ramon Tomko telling me you signed up I will be able to see you sign up under me but just in case I miss it or something go ahead and send me an email just in case and I will send you all of your bonuses for free I'll send you all of Liam's bonuses as well as I will send you all my bonuses and again you know I'm gonna be open to answer any questions you have and help you out along the way so you know if you guys are ready to take this dive into affiliate marketing in 2019 and start making some money with Builder or what I do think I've seen a lot of different affiliate programs you know I've promoted a lot of different things I can honestly say it say I think this is the best affiliate program out there right now so if you want to take advantage of this before it gets too popular and too oversaturated I think now is the time to join so I'd love to have you guys a part of my team so I will see you guys with in another video tomorrow and I hope you enjoyed 54 more words

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cranktrash-blog · 8 years ago

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GOOSE movie script

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a GOOSE should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The GOOSE, of course, flies anyway because GEESE don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. ETHAN! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - ETHAN? - MARK? - Can you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! ETHAN, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, MARK. - Hey, ETHAN. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, ETHAN. - Artie, growing a PINK MUSTACHE? Looks good. - Hear about WADE? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, FUCK someone, you die. Don’t waste it on THE KING OF THE SQUIRRELS. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, MARK, today we are men. - We are! - CRAZY BOYS. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished GEESE, please welcome Dean HONKwell. Welcome, New L.A. graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a GOOSE, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. SUBSCRIBERS begin when our valiant YOUTUBERS bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… SUBSCRIBERS! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of GOOSE existence. These GEESE are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Catches that little strand of SUBSCRIBERS that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most GOOSE jobs are small ones. But GEESE know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that GEESE, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 1 BILLION years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, MARK, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re GEESE We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Check it out. - Hey, those are YOUTUBERS! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can’t just decide to be a YOUTUBER. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. GEESE make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Couple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a YOUTUBER. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - ETHAN! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, HONKy-boy? Are you GOOSE enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the SUBSCRIBER field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a FUCKER. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into SUBSCRIBERS! - ETHAN, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into SUBSCRIBERS. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some SUBSCRIBERS and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. DIAMOND PLAY BUTTONS counting, stunt GOOSE, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A GOOSE died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt GOOSE, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. ETHAN, what do you think I should… ETHAN? ETHAN! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re CRANKY! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their GAMERS today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, GEESE cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, GOOSE law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK! HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK! HONK, HONK, HONK, HONK! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - FUCKER, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have GAMERS visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. GAMERS! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some DIAMOND PLAY BUTTONS here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON power. More DIAMOND PLAY BUTTONS, more flowers, more nectar, more SUBSCRIBERS for us. Cool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Could be daisies. Don’t we need those? Copy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Chemical-y. Careful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet DANK MEME LORD OF GEESE! Candy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Coming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, SUBSCRIBER, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a GOOSE in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, GOOSE. - He’s back here! He’s going to FUCK me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t FUCK you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Can’t fly in rain. Can’t fly in rain. Can’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! GOOSE going down! ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN, could you close the window please? ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN, could you close the window please? Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! GOOSE! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, TYLER. Thanks. - TYLER, next week? PEANUT BUTTER night? - Sure, ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. Alright, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a GOOSE law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Come on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a GOOSE! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a GOOSE. - Yeah. I’m talking to a GOOSE. And the GOOSE is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, SUBSCRIBER.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. GEESE are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Can I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. STARBUCKS VANILLA DOUBLE SHOT ENERGY DRINK? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just STARBUCKS VANILLA DOUBLE SHOT ENERGY DRINK. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Come on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you alright? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a GOOSE joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, ETHAN? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new QUEEN AMY was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You alright, ma’am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of STARBUCKS VANILLA DOUBLE SHOT ENERGY DRINK! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the STARBUCKS VANILLA DOUBLE SHOT ENERGY DRINK. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Can I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, ETHAN. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and CRANKY. They talk CRANKY. They eat CRANKY giant things. They drive CRANKY. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - CHICA. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out your job and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she GOOSE-ish? - A DUCK?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a DUCK. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a GOOSE law. You wouldn’t break a GOOSE law. - Her name’s TYLER. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so FUCKIN’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Cinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking GOOSE, my friend. Thinking GOOSE! - Thinking GOOSE. - Thinking GOOSE. Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, ETHAN? I gotta start thinking GOOSE? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a GOOSE! Would it kill you to make a little SUBSCRIBER? ETHAN, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? ETHAN, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! TYLER! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s GOOSE-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the CONVENTION OF GAMERS, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A CONVENTION. Do the GAMERS compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. Alright, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb GEESE! You must want to FUCK all those jerks. We try not to FUCK. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Cute GOOSE, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - GEESE make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just SUBSCRIBERS, ETHAN. Just what?! GEESE don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, KATHRYN. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice SUBSCRIBER out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset GEESE! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the SUBSCRIBER coming from? Tell me where! SUBSCRIBER Farms! It comes from SUBSCRIBER Farms! CRANKY person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To SUBSCRIBER Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, CRANKY stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, GOOSE! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Carl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - GOOSE! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, BLUE BOY? Hey, Blood. Just a row of SUBSCRIBER jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that SUBSCRIBER’S ours. - GEESE hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You gotta be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, GOOSE! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y’all down here. Did you bring your CRANKY straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A GOOSE’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Check out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the SUBSCRIBER, and we make the money. “They make the SUBSCRIBER, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our QUEEN AMY was moved here. We had no choice. This is your QUEEN AMY? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag QUEEN AMY! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! GOOSE SUBSCRIBERS. Our SUBSCRIBER is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, ETHAN, stop. Who told you humans are taking our SUBSCRIBERS? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? ETHAN! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The GEESE! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those CRANKY legs kept me up all night. ETHAN, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than GEESE! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our SUBSCRIBERS? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one GOOSE do? FUCK them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can FUCK the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more GOOSE beards! With BOB MUYSKENS at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm FUCKER. Sports with HONK Larvi. And Jeanette Chung. - Good evening. I’m BOB MUYSKENS. - And I’m Jeanette Chung. A tri-county GOOSE, ETHAN NESTOR, intends to sue the human race for stealing our SUBSCRIBERS, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on GOOSE Larry King, we’ll have three former QUEEN AMY here in our studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to ETHAN NESTOR. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? GEESE have never been afraid to change the world. What about GOOSE Columbus? GOOSE Gandhi? GOOSEjesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The CRANKY COMMUNITY is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the GOOSE century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard ‘em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN. She’s 81. SUBSCRIBER, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same GOOSE? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, GOOSE. This is ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go ‘cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our PEANUT BUTTER night! Bye-bye. Why is PEANUT BUTTER night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and MARK here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? GEESE have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent FUCKERS, pointless pollination. GEESE must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “SUBSCRIBER, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a SUBSCRIBER GOOSE can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, ETHAN? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the GOOSE team. You CRAZY BOYS work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Court of New York, ETHAN GOOSE NESTOR v. the SUBSCRIBER Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. NESTOR… you’re representing all the GEESE of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. NESTOR imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking GOOSE! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. NESTOR? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary GOOSE. SUBSCRIBERS are pretty important to me. It’s important to all GEESE. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us ‘cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our SUBSCRIBERS, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Call your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of SUBSCRIBER Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own SUBSCRIBERburton and Honron! Yes, they provide GEESEkeepers for our farms. GOOSEkeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any GOOSE-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free GEESE. You keep GEESE. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of SUBSCRIBERS. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, FREDDY FAZBEAR, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill GEESE! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. FUCK, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The IIIM TYLER Police. But you’ve never been an IIIM TYLER police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of GOOSE culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. FUCK? Because I’m feeling a little stung, FUCK. Or should I say… Mr. GERALD O.G. CHAN! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless GEESE so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, NESTOR! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called ETHAN. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN, ETHAN was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? GEESE have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN, I let ETHAN borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old FUCKER. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN, I’m wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like SUBSCRIBER! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little GOOSE! And he happens to be the nicest GOOSE I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking GEESE, no PEANUT BUTTER night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. ETHAN NESTOR GOOSE to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about GEESE. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. NESTOR GOOSE, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a GOOSE documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your QUEEN AMY give birth to all the GOOSE children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, ETHAN… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate GOOSE, aren’t you, NESTOR? He’s denouncing GEESE! Don’t y’all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! MARK, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! FUCKING’S the only thing they know! It’s their way! - MARK, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the SUBSCRIBERGEESE versus the human race took a pointed turn against the GEESE yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to FUCK someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. MARK, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Could you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. GEESE don’t smoke. Right. GEESE don’t smoke. GEESE don’t smoke! But some GEESE are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. GEESE are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a GOOSE smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a GOOSE. Look at what has happened to GEESE who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as SUBSCRIBER slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these GEESE! Free the GEESE! Free the GEESE! Free the GEESE! Free the GEESE! Free the GEESE! The court finds in favor of the GEESE! TYLER, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the SUBSCRIBERS will finally belong to the GEESE. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, NESTOR. You’ll regret this. ETHAN, how much SUBSCRIBER is out there? All right. One at a time. ETHAN, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve GEESE living the GOOSE way a long time,1 BILLION years. Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all GOOSE work camps. Then we want back the SUBSCRIBER that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate GOOSE-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of SUBSCRIBERS in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Can’t breathe. Bring it in, CRAZY BOYS! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. HONKwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shutdown SUBSCRIBER production! Stop making SUBSCRIBERS! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Cannonball! We’re shutting SUBSCRIBER production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. MARK, you wouldn’t believe how much SUBSCRIBER was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your UNCLE GIZMO was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our SUBSCRIBER back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our SUBSCRIBERS? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. SUBSCRIBERS really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess GEESE. GEESE? Specifically, me. I didn’t think GEESE not needing to make SUBSCRIBER would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need GEESE. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll FUCK you, you step on me. - That Just kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, ETHAN… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. TYLER? TYLER? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final CONVENTION OF GAMERS parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. TYLER, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. CONVENTION OF GAMERS. GAMERS can’t do sports. Wait a minute. GAMERS. GAMERS? GAMERS! TYLER! GAMERS?! ETHAN? - GAMERS are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, GEESE, DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? Could you slow down? ETHAN! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the GAMERS, the GAMERS have the DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON. I know every GOOSE, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - GEESE. - Park. - DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! CONVENTION OF GAMERS, Pasadena, California. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. TYLER SCHEID, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma’am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your FUCKER. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough DIAMOND PLAY BUTTONS to do the job. Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is CAPTAIN BRIAN. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. ETHAN, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. CAPTAIN BRIAN, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. GOOSE! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, ETHAN. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your CAPTAIN BRIAN. Would a Miss TYLER SCHEID in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another GOOSE joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is TYLER SCHEID. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - ETHAN NESTOR. From the SUBSCRIBER trial?! Oh, great. TYLER, this is nothing more than a big metal GOOSE. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, ETHAN! We’re headed into some lightning. This is BOB MUYSKENS. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. ETHAN NESTOR, fresh from his legal victory… That’s ETHAN! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a GOOSE on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. NESTOR and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a GOOSE shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “#SMILEALWAYS.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making SUBSCRIBERS takes a lot of GEESE doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get GEESE back to working together. That’s the GOOSE way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. beep-beep! beep-beep! ETHAN, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! TYLER, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Come on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? NESTOR, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The YOUTUBERS! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Can you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Come on. You got to think GOOSE, ETHAN. - Thinking GOOSE. - Thinking GOOSE. Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 1-BILLION-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! Thinking GOOSE! - TYLER, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on GOOSE power. Ready, CRAZY BOYS? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of GEESE! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, ETHAN! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Come on, already. ETHAN, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. ETHAN, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last DIAMOND PLAY BUTTON from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make SUBSCRIBER, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be GEESE, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re GEESE! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, ETHAN. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a YOUTUBER! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our ETHAN. Mom! The GEESE are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who’s next? Would you like some SUBSCRIBER with that? It is GOOSE-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. ETHAN, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! ETHAN, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, ETHAN. Can I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, ETHAN! That GOOSE is living my life! Let it go, ANDREW LANKY RANDMAN. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking GOOSE, my friend. - Thinking GOOSE! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

-brooke (aka cranktrash)

changes:

goose for bee

ethan as barry

mark as adam

wade as frankie

tyler as vanessa

andrew as ken

amy as the queen

kathryn as hector

chica as the poodle

bob as bob bumble

gizmo as uncle carl

G as gordon m. sumner

brian as captain

fuck for sting

honk for buzz

subscribers for honey

youtubers for pollen jocks

diamond play button for pollen

gamers for roses

convention for tournament

duck for wasp

crazy boys for boys

cranky for crazy

l.a. for hive city

king of squirrels for squirrel

pink mustache for mustache

1 billion for 27 million

cranky community for bee community

blue boy for bee boy

dank meme lord of geese for lord of bees

peanut butter for yogurt

starbucks vanilla double shot energy drink for coffee

#smilealways for “surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense”

added - “iiim tyler” and “freddy fazbear”

#crankgameplays #bee movie

15 notes · View notes

josephkchoi · 5 years ago

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Why You Need Webinar Landing Pages in 2020 [Best Practices & Examples]

It’s 2020. The ordinary ways we do things have been disrupted left and right, up and down. Circumstances have forced many businesses to shift their brick-and-mortar operations and real-world activities online.

So it’s fair for a marketer to ask:

“Is now a good time to be running webinars?“

The short answer is, now’s a great time. Marketing departments are slashing their networking budgets. In some places, gatherings like conferences and workshops won’t be in the cards for quite a while. Some of us are still in lockdown, with little to do but binge-watch crime documentaries on Netflix. And others are busy looking for new ways to level up their skills.

The result? If anything, webinars are only going to blow up.

If you’re hungry for an opportunity to take a bit of that attention away from Netflix, let’s look at what holding online events can do for your business and how you can create webinar landing pages that turn visitors into registrants.

Keep reading, or jump right into one of the sections below:

What can a webinar do for my business?

Webinar landing page best practices

Inspiring examples of webinar landing pages

What can a webinar do for my business?

It’s no secret that savvy marketers and businesses love running webinars. After all, they can be an easy way to achieve multiple goals:

Webinars can help fill your funnel and generate more leads—and fast. If you’re a techy, you can automate this process too, saving you even more time. (For a concrete example, see how Thinkific took advantage of the Unbounce integration with ActiveCampaign to secure thousands of leads on autopilot for an online summit.)

Webinars give you a platform to educate your customers, build stronger bonds, and boost product engagement. An easy way to do this is to demo your product live and use it to execute the key points you’ve covered.

By educating your customers, you’re establishing authority and brand expertise. According to 99firms, “92% of attendees expect a live Q&A session at the end of the webinar.” That’s right: they expect it. They actually want you to teach them something. To demo something that might improve their lives. To sell them something that might give them value. They’re inviting you to build closer relationships and engage with them.

You’re networking and making yourself look smart via your guests’ expertise, boosting your own authority. It’s called the Halo effect. When you bring on stellar guests, their best qualities reflect onto you. Plus, your guests’ target audiences get to learn about you. Talk about a quick and easy way to expand your reach.

Affiliates and potential partners might approach you if they see an opportunity. Finally, offering to run webinars together can be a powerful incentive for partnering up, especially if you can offer the resources, know-how, and network to do it well.

When done right, webinars are an easy way to cover every stage of your funnel. With all that upside, we’re shocked more companies aren’t running online events. (How about a Netflix model? We’d tune in.)

Want to take your webinar campaigns up a notch? If you’re already using online events for your business and want a quick way to boost your registrations, try starting with a high-converting webinar landing page template.

A webinar landing page is a no-brainer

You can be the William Shakespeare of webinars, delivering brilliance, entertainment, and wisdom in one perfect package. Without a half-decent landing page to score some signups, though? Well, you’d be lucky to draw a crowd of crickets.

That’s why promoting your webinars is so important. If you have seats to fill, you’ve got three options:

You can build a stripped-down registration page that’s easy to set up but doesn’t really convince people to convert. Too often, these pages have lengthy forms with so many unnecessary fields, you might as well be filling out a tax form. You also have no ability to A/B test them.

You can get your web devs and designers together to create something with tons of visual appeal—but this option takes a lot of time and money that you may not have right now. (Totally understandable if you’re trying to get up and running quickly.)

You can use landing pages to help you avoid both these problems. Webinar landing pages can be a better option when it comes to running time-sensitive campaigns because you can literally set one up and get running in minutes. And if you’re a believer in wowing your target audience with beautiful design, creating one is still very easy, because you can use templates that have already been tested in the wild.

Photo by J. Kelly Brito on Unsplash.

Webinar landing page best practices

When it comes to landing pages for webinar registration, you could fill an encyclopedia with all the best practices out there. To get you started sooner, let’s stick to the few established and actionable practices that’ll reap some of the greatest rewards.

1. Before you can create a compelling landing page, you need a strong topic.

Choose a topic that grabs your audience’s attention. Ideally, it should be contemporary, relevant to the problems they face, and very actionable. Once the webinar is over, your audience should be left energized, since the next steps will be crystal clear.

2. Invite a guest to connect with new audiences.

Sure, you can rely on your star power to draw a small crowd. But that’s not getting the best bang for your buck. What’s an event if you show up all by your lonesome?

“But my mom says my webinar is cool.”

One amazing way to multiply your reach is by leveraging your guests’ audiences. Keep in mind, these people aren’t a cold audience either. They’re already warmed up because you’re working with someone they already trust. That means they’re more likely to buy from you.

Plus, if your guest is selling a complementary product or service, this could lead to some profitable partnerships, with many cross-selling opportunities to follow. (Imagine, for instance, an ice cream vendor teaming up with a company that makes nothing but ice cream cones. Brilliant.)

3. Get the most out of your webinar efforts by following up with your registrants.

Send them promotional material before and after they’ve signed up. With their permission, you can continue to nurture them by sending valuable (as in relevant and helpful) content once in a while—and keep strengthening your brand authority while you’re at it.

4. Don’t treat your webinar like a one-and-done.

What if—for some oddball reason—you host your event just once? Does that mean you can only send traffic to it for a single campaign?

Not a chance. Simply continue to run cold traffic to your webinar landing page, where your target audience will sign up for the recording with enthusiasm. Though they can’t ask questions, they also don’t have to wait for a specific time to watch. (Below, I’ll show you a super-cool example of a signup landing page for a recorded webinar.)

5. Repurpose your webinars for other channels.

If you know a good video editor, ask them to slice and dice your webinars into little clips that feature your best highlights. Share these on social media, embed them in your blog, and use them in your ads to continue to drive traffic.

Inspiring examples of webinar landing pages

In this last section, we look at several landing pages that have performed particularly well by following the principles of conversion-centered design.

Built using Unbounce, these examples are some of the best webinar landing pages we’ve seen across many industries. (We’ve kept conversion rates private, but all the pages here convert between 9% and 50%.)

1. Tailwind

Image courtesy of Tailwind. (Click to see the whole thing.)

Tailwind’s webinar signup page has got to be one of my favorites. Talk about getting so many things right.

The visuals immediately grab your attention, along with the clear copy and smart use of social proof. But it’s also an excellent example of the congruence principle of conversion design, since all the elements on the page are in alignment, driving toward a single goal.

Let’s start with the attention ratio, which is the number of things your visitor can do on a page versus the number of things you want them to do. The attention ratio here is a beautiful 1:1. Notice that there isn’t a menu or other external links, and all the CTA buttons all serve the same conversion goal.

Did I forget to mention there’s no intimidating contact form in sight? You’ve got to click on the button to pull it up. The contact form asks for your “best” email. (I wouldn’t blame you if you thought this is a tad simplistic, but it does tickle my fancy.)

Finally, the drop-down menu on the form segments subscribers based on their specified needs. Talk about keeping things simple yet elegant.

Tailwind also does a fantastic job of presenting their guest, a proven and well-known authority in her space. In fact, we can’t tell what Tailwind is about simply by looking at the landing page. That’s because the focus is entirely on what the target audience is going to get. Not a word about the business just yet. (No hard sell.)

And that’s how it’s done.

2. Bandzoogle

Image courtesy of Bandzoogle. (Click to see the whole thing.)

This straightforward landing page from Bandzoogle is a fantastic example of clarity. The headline uses a proven copywriting formula: “How to do X without Y”. It works because it promises to teach you something while removing a traditional barrier.

You have to love the body copy too. It’s simple, straight to the point, and opens by hitting on a major pain point shared by many musicians: the frustrations of booking a tour.

The bullet points below are also worth closer scrutiny. Each one is 100% focused on the target audience and doesn’t beat around the bush, with zero fluff. It’s clear no copywriter is showing off here.

Then there’s email capture text. It informs the target audience that the webinar has already been recorded. Sure, this statement might catch them off-guard, but I’ll bet you the target audience appreciates the honesty and will trust you more in the longer term. (Besides, the information is still relevant.)

And their contact form? You can’t even call it that. It’s only asking for your email. And note how they weave their privacy policy into the fine print underneath. Brilliant.

3. Libris

Image courtesy of Libris by Photoshelter. (Click to see the whole thing.)

If you thought short-form landing pages couldn’t do it all, one quick look at Libris’ landing page will change your mind. Libris understands that motion, more than anything, is the very first thing that captures the attention of the human eye.

But the footage isn’t showing any random attention-grabbing event. It’s a clip of two football teams walking out into the field. (Remember “sports”? That thing we used to do outside?) The focus though rests on the attendees holding up their cameras and phones to capture the event, not the actual event itself.

The powerful copy reinforces this concept throughout the landing page. What makes it effective is its focus on “you” from beginning to end, keeping it simple and hyper-relevant to the target audience.

But my favorite part about this? It’s the chatbot in the bottom corner that pops the question, “You hungry?” How could you not be tempted to answer that? (And, yes, I am hungry.)

4. Vyond

Image courtesy of Vyond.

This landing page for a weekly webinar scores leads and signups for Vyond on autopilot. (Sweet.) The headline is pretty clear, and the primary brand color is immediately recognizable by the target audience.

The 44-second video builds trust by introducing a human face, Vyond’s customer success training manager. But it quickly moves past the intro to display some striking visuals that showcase the Vyond app, as well as its ease of use.

The main CTA is “Register for the Webinar”, but there are two anchor CTAs, one sitting on each side, which both ensure that the reader stays on-page.

It’s good, but as with any landing page, a healthy mindset is to “Always Be Testing.” With #ABT in mind, I’d try switching up a couple of things here: I’d recommend A/B testing against a shorter-form variant, and using Smart Traffic to see how the page performs with fewer fields.

5. Unbounce

I hate to brag, but this last one ticks all the boxes. Yes, it’s a webinar registration landing page by Unbounce, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be impartial.

Click to see real thing (opens in a new tab).

Just look at that event logo in motion. This page is oozing confidence. And it isn’t offering a single webinar recording, no. It’s got a whole jumbo 14-pack of knowledge bombs ready to be consumed in a single sitting.

And that headline? “It’s not just you. Marketing has gotten harder.” Oh my. You read my mind. (Is it getting hot in here? Just me?)

Then comes the social proof from the big industry names. And would you look at that day-to-day event breakdown? These both help showcase established authorities who are to share insider information throughout the event.

In fact, that’s what this webinar page is designed to look like: a conference that just happens to be taking place online. Sure, we ran Marketing Optimization Week a few years ago, but it’s a relevant example of what you can do today to create exciting online events and webinars that’ll continue to pay off in the future. This page has converted nearly 7,800 times, and it continues to generate leads to this day.

Using Unbounce to set up your webinar landing page

I remember the first landing pages I tried to build by hand. I still wake up in cold sweats. I can still feel my partner reaching for my arm in the dark: “Another nightmare? Couldn’t get your elements to align again, huh?”

I wish I knew about Unbounce then. Using it to get your webinar landing page up and running is easy.

To get started, just pick a landing page template from the hundreds available. (Be sure to check out the advanced filters.) Tweak it to match your email or ad campaign if you’ve already got one running, or build the whole thing from the ground up.

Then, drag and drop and adjust to your heart’s content, all without having to write a single line of code. (But if you really need to scratch your coding itch, you always have the option of inserting custom code to fit your needs.)

Once you’re happy with your template, you can duplicate it to set up a variant or two to automatically optimize it with Smart Traffic.

And you’re all set. (Really. No more nightmares.)

Ready to answer the call (to action)?

Landing pages and webinars go together like french fries and ketchup. There are huge benefits of pairing them together to bring your events online and generate more leads and sales. If you’re convinced—heck, even if you’re not—why not start a free trial and try out one of the high-converting webinar landing pages in our template library?

Why You Need Webinar Landing Pages in 2020 [Best Practices & Examples] published first on https://nickpontemrktg.wordpress.com/

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itsjessicaisreal · 5 years ago

Text

Why You Need Webinar Landing Pages in 2020 [Best Practices & Examples]

So it’s fair for a marketer to ask:

“Is now a good time to be running webinars?“

The result? If anything, webinars are only going to blow up.

Keep reading, or jump right into one of the sections below:

What can a webinar do for my business?

Webinar landing page best practices

Inspiring examples of webinar landing pages

What can a webinar do for my business?

It’s no secret that savvy marketers and businesses love running webinars. After all, they can be an easy way to achieve multiple goals:

A webinar landing page is a no-brainer

That’s why promoting your webinars is so important. If you have seats to fill, you’ve got three options:

Photo by J. Kelly Brito on Unsplash.

Webinar landing page best practices

1. Before you can create a compelling landing page, you need a strong topic.

2. Invite a guest to connect with new audiences.

Sure, you can rely on your star power to draw a small crowd. But that’s not getting the best bang for your buck. What’s an event if you show up all by your lonesome?

“But my mom says my webinar is cool.”

3. Get the most out of your webinar efforts by following up with your registrants.

4. Don’t treat your webinar like a one-and-done.

What if—for some oddball reason—you host your event just once? Does that mean you can only send traffic to it for a single campaign?

5. Repurpose your webinars for other channels.

Inspiring examples of webinar landing pages

In this last section, we look at several landing pages that have performed particularly well by following the principles of conversion-centered design.

1. Tailwind

Image courtesy of Tailwind. (Click to see the whole thing.)

Tailwind’s webinar signup page has got to be one of my favorites. Talk about getting so many things right.

Finally, the drop-down menu on the form segments subscribers based on their specified needs. Talk about keeping things simple yet elegant.

And that’s how it’s done.

2. Bandzoogle

Image courtesy of Bandzoogle. (Click to see the whole thing.)

You have to love the body copy too. It’s simple, straight to the point, and opens by hitting on a major pain point shared by many musicians: the frustrations of booking a tour.

And their contact form? You can’t even call it that. It’s only asking for your email. And note how they weave their privacy policy into the fine print underneath. Brilliant.

3. Libris

Image courtesy of Libris by Photoshelter. (Click to see the whole thing.)

But my favorite part about this? It’s the chatbot in the bottom corner that pops the question, “You hungry?” How could you not be tempted to answer that? (And, yes, I am hungry.)

4. Vyond

Image courtesy of Vyond.

The main CTA is “Register for the Webinar”, but there are two anchor CTAs, one sitting on each side, which both ensure that the reader stays on-page.

5. Unbounce

I hate to brag, but this last one ticks all the boxes. Yes, it’s a webinar registration landing page by Unbounce, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be impartial.

Click to see real thing (opens in a new tab).

And that headline? “It’s not just you. Marketing has gotten harder.” Oh my. You read my mind. (Is it getting hot in here? Just me?)

Using Unbounce to set up your webinar landing page

I wish I knew about Unbounce then. Using it to get your webinar landing page up and running is easy.

Once you’re happy with your template, you can duplicate it to set up a variant or two to automatically optimize it with Smart Traffic.

And you’re all set. (Really. No more nightmares.)

Ready to answer the call (to action)?

from Marketing https://unbounce.com/landing-page-examples/webinar-landing-page-examples/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

0 notes

kennethmontiveros · 5 years ago

Text

Why You Need Webinar Landing Pages in 2020 [Best Practices & Examples]

So it’s fair for a marketer to ask:

“Is now a good time to be running webinars?“

The result? If anything, webinars are only going to blow up.

Keep reading, or jump right into one of the sections below:

What can a webinar do for my business?

Webinar landing page best practices

Inspiring examples of webinar landing pages

What can a webinar do for my business?

It’s no secret that savvy marketers and businesses love running webinars. After all, they can be an easy way to achieve multiple goals:

A webinar landing page is a no-brainer

That’s why promoting your webinars is so important. If you have seats to fill, you’ve got three options:

Photo by J. Kelly Brito on Unsplash.

Webinar landing page best practices

1. Before you can create a compelling landing page, you need a strong topic.

2. Invite a guest to connect with new audiences.

Sure, you can rely on your star power to draw a small crowd. But that’s not getting the best bang for your buck. What’s an event if you show up all by your lonesome?

“But my mom says my webinar is cool.”

3. Get the most out of your webinar efforts by following up with your registrants.

4. Don’t treat your webinar like a one-and-done.

What if—for some oddball reason—you host your event just once? Does that mean you can only send traffic to it for a single campaign?

5. Repurpose your webinars for other channels.

Inspiring examples of webinar landing pages

In this last section, we look at several landing pages that have performed particularly well by following the principles of conversion-centered design.

1. Tailwind

Image courtesy of Tailwind. (Click to see the whole thing.)

Tailwind’s webinar signup page has got to be one of my favorites. Talk about getting so many things right.

Finally, the drop-down menu on the form segments subscribers based on their specified needs. Talk about keeping things simple yet elegant.

And that’s how it’s done.

2. Bandzoogle

Image courtesy of Bandzoogle. (Click to see the whole thing.)

You have to love the body copy too. It’s simple, straight to the point, and opens by hitting on a major pain point shared by many musicians: the frustrations of booking a tour.

And their contact form? You can’t even call it that. It’s only asking for your email. And note how they weave their privacy policy into the fine print underneath. Brilliant.

3. Libris

Image courtesy of Libris by Photoshelter. (Click to see the whole thing.)

But my favorite part about this? It’s the chatbot in the bottom corner that pops the question, “You hungry?” How could you not be tempted to answer that? (And, yes, I am hungry.)

4. Vyond

Image courtesy of Vyond.

The main CTA is “Register for the Webinar”, but there are two anchor CTAs, one sitting on each side, which both ensure that the reader stays on-page.

5. Unbounce

I hate to brag, but this last one ticks all the boxes. Yes, it’s a webinar registration landing page by Unbounce, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be impartial.

Click to see real thing (opens in a new tab).

And that headline? “It’s not just you. Marketing has gotten harder.” Oh my. You read my mind. (Is it getting hot in here? Just me?)

Using Unbounce to set up your webinar landing page

I wish I knew about Unbounce then. Using it to get your webinar landing page up and running is easy.

Once you’re happy with your template, you can duplicate it to set up a variant or two to automatically optimize it with Smart Traffic.

And you’re all set. (Really. No more nightmares.)

Ready to answer the call (to action)?

Why You Need Webinar Landing Pages in 2020 [Best Practices & Examples] published first on http://nickpontemktg.blogspot.com/

0 notes

roypstickney · 5 years ago

Text

Why You Need Webinar Landing Pages in 2020 [Best Practices & Examples]

So it’s fair for a marketer to ask:

“Is now a good time to be running webinars?“

The result? If anything, webinars are only going to blow up.

If you’re hungry for an opportunity to take a bit of that attention away from Netflix, let’s look at what webinars can do for your business and how you can create webinar landing pages that turn visitors into registrants.

Keep reading, or jump right into one of the sections below:

What can a webinar do for my business?

Webinar landing page best practices

Inspiring examples of webinar landing pages

What can a webinar do for my business?

It’s no secret that savvy marketers and businesses love running webinars. After all, webinars can be an easy way to achieve multiple goals:

When done right, webinars are an easy way to cover every stage of your funnel. With all that upside, we’re shocked more companies aren’t running webinars. (How about a Netflix model for webinars? We’d tune in.)

Want to take your webinar campaigns up a notch? If you’re already using webinars for your business and want a quick way to boost your registrations, try starting with a high-converting webinar landing page template.

A webinar landing page is a no-brainer

That’s why promoting your webinars is so important. If you have seats to fill, you’ve got three options:

Photo by J. Kelly Brito on Unsplash.

Webinar landing page best practices

1. Before you can create a compelling landing page, you need a strong topic.

2. Invite a guest to connect with new audiences.

Sure, you can rely on your star power to draw a small crowd. But that’s not getting the best bang for your buck. What’s a webinar if you show up all by your lonesome?

“But my mom says my webinar is cool.”

3. Get the most out of your webinar efforts by following up with your registrants.

Send them promotional material before and after they’ve signed up for your webinar. With their permission, you can continue to nurture them by sending valuable (as in relevant and helpful) content once in a while—and keep strengthening your brand authority while you’re at it.

4. Don’t treat your webinar like a one-and-done.

What if—for some oddball reason—you host your webinar just once? Does that mean you can only send traffic to it for a single campaign?

5. Repurpose your webinars for other channels.

Inspiring examples of webinar landing pages

In this last section, we look at several landing pages that have performed particularly well by following the principles of conversion-centered design.

1. Tailwind

Image courtesy of Tailwind. (Click to see the whole thing.)

Tailwind’s webinar signup page has got to be one of my favorites. Talk about getting so many things right.

Finally, the drop-down menu on the form segments subscribers based on their specified needs. Talk about keeping things simple yet elegant.

And that’s how it’s done.

2. Bandzoogle

Image courtesy of Bandzoogle. (Click to see the whole thing.)

You have to love the body copy too. It’s simple, straight to the point, and opens by hitting on a major pain point shared by many musicians: the frustrations of booking a tour.

And their contact form? You can’t even call it that. It’s only asking for your email. And note how they weave their privacy policy into the fine print underneath. Brilliant.

3. Libris

Image courtesy of Libris by Photoshelter. (Click to see the whole thing.)

But my favorite part about this? It’s the chatbot in the bottom corner that pops the question, “You hungry?” How could you not be tempted to answer that? (And, yes, I am hungry.)

4. Vyond

Image courtesy of Vyond.

The main CTA is “Register for the Webinar”, but there are two anchor CTAs, one sitting on each side, which both ensure that the reader stays on-page.

5. Unbounce

I hate to brag, but this last one ticks all the boxes. Yes, it’s a webinar registration landing page by Unbounce, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be impartial.

Click to see real thing (opens in a new tab).

And that headline? “It’s not just you. Marketing has gotten harder.” Oh my. You read my mind. (Is it getting hot in here? Just me?)

Using Unbounce to set up your webinar landing page

I wish I knew about Unbounce then. Using it to get your webinar landing page up and running is easy.

Once you’re happy with your template, you can duplicate it to set up a variant or two to automatically optimize it with Smart Traffic.

And you’re all set. (Really. No more nightmares.)

Ready to answer the call (to action)?

0 notes

annaxkeating · 5 years ago

Text

Why You Need Webinar Landing Pages in 2020 [Best Practices & Examples]

So it’s fair for a marketer to ask:

“Is now a good time to be running webinars?“

The result? If anything, webinars are only going to blow up.

Keep reading, or jump right into one of the sections below:

What can a webinar do for my business?

Webinar landing page best practices

Inspiring examples of webinar landing pages

What can a webinar do for my business?

It’s no secret that savvy marketers and businesses love running webinars. After all, webinars can be an easy way to achieve multiple goals:

A webinar landing page is a no-brainer

That’s why promoting your webinars is so important. If you have seats to fill, you’ve got three options:

Photo by J. Kelly Brito on Unsplash.

Webinar landing page best practices

1. Before you can create a compelling landing page, you need a strong topic.

2. Invite a guest to connect with new audiences.

Sure, you can rely on your star power to draw a small crowd. But that’s not getting the best bang for your buck. What’s a webinar if you show up all by your lonesome?

“But my mom says my webinar is cool.”

3. Get the most out of your webinar efforts by following up with your registrants.

4. Don’t treat your webinar like a one-and-done.

What if—for some oddball reason—you host your webinar just once? Does that mean you can only send traffic to it for a single campaign?

5. Repurpose your webinars for other channels.

Inspiring examples of webinar landing pages

In this last section, we look at several landing pages that have performed particularly well by following the principles of conversion-centered design.

1. Tailwind

Image courtesy of Tailwind. (Click to see the whole thing.)

Tailwind’s webinar signup page has got to be one of my favorites. Talk about getting so many things right.

Finally, the drop-down menu on the form segments subscribers based on their specified needs. Talk about keeping things simple yet elegant.

And that’s how it’s done.

2. Bandzoogle

Image courtesy of Bandzoogle. (Click to see the whole thing.)

You have to love the body copy too. It’s simple, straight to the point, and opens by hitting on a major pain point shared by many musicians: the frustrations of booking a tour.

And their contact form? You can’t even call it that. It’s only asking for your email. And note how they weave their privacy policy into the fine print underneath. Brilliant.

3. Libris

Image courtesy of Libris by Photoshelter. (Click to see the whole thing.)

But my favorite part about this? It’s the chatbot in the bottom corner that pops the question, “You hungry?” How could you not be tempted to answer that? (And, yes, I am hungry.)

4. Vyond

Image courtesy of Vyond.

The main CTA is “Register for the Webinar”, but there are two anchor CTAs, one sitting on each side, which both ensure that the reader stays on-page.

5. Unbounce

I hate to brag, but this last one ticks all the boxes. Yes, it’s a webinar registration landing page by Unbounce, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be impartial.

Click to see real thing (opens in a new tab).

And that headline? “It’s not just you. Marketing has gotten harder.” Oh my. You read my mind. (Is it getting hot in here? Just me?)

Using Unbounce to set up your webinar landing page

I wish I knew about Unbounce then. Using it to get your webinar landing page up and running is easy.

Once you’re happy with your template, you can duplicate it to set up a variant or two to automatically optimize it with Smart Traffic.

And you’re all set. (Really. No more nightmares.)

Ready to answer the call (to action)?

from Digital https://unbounce.com/landing-page-examples/webinar-landing-page-examples/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

#digital marketing

0 notes