#Midcard hell

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Pitch for a comedy TV show:

* Title is “Midcard Hell”

* The premise is that it’s a workplace comedy/mockumentary show that follows the staff and performers of Total Elite Wrestling Zone (TEWZ).

* The main protagonist is Herbert Mallari, ring name Dallas Strategy. He is a Filipino-American pro-wrestler stuck in midcard hell after he fumbled the company’s attempt to push him into the main card. Herbert/Dallas is played by Manny Jacinto (Jason Mendoza, Qimir). For real-life inspiration, I based him off of Austin Theory and Shinsuke Nakamura.

* The deuteragonist is Herbert’s best friend Jason Ballinger, ring name Jason “The American Experiment” Knox. He is the face of the company and is dealing with burnout due to how hectic his schedule is. Jason is played by Tyler Hoechlin (Superman, Derek Hale). For real-life inspiration, I based him off of John Cena and Cody Rhodes.

* The tritagonist is Herbert’s crush Aoife McCarthy, ring name Max Murphy. She is an Irish wrestler stuck in midcard hell. Unbeknownst to her, the current women’s champion is secretly making sure Aoife/Max never rises in the rankings in order to secure her place at the top. Aoife/Max is played by Katie McGrath (Morgana Pendragon, Lena Luthor). For real-life inspiration, I based her off of Becky Lynch and Paige.

* The CEO of the company is played by CM Punk, but only in a guest capacity. It’s basically Punk pretending to be Triple H.

* Finn Balor makes a guest appearance as Aoife/Max’s brother who works as an indie wrestler.

* Big E, Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods make a guest appearance as members of the creative team who can only come up with terrible storyline ideas.

* Asuka makes a guest appearance as a famous J-Pop idol who is brought in as the celebrity host for a PPV set in Tokyo. The joke is that she somehow out-wrestles the entire women’s roster, even though her character is supposed to be a non-wrestler.

* Jey Uso makes a guest appearance as a widely-hated social media influencer who is considering a career in pro-wrestling. (Hmm…I wonder who this character is based on coughLoganPaulcough excuse me, I got the coughs).

* Liv Morgan and The Miz make a guest appearance as the really eccentric acting coaches who are trying to teach the new recruits how to cut a promo.

* R-Truth is in a recurring role as a pro-wrestler named J-Honest. He’s basically the Creed Bratton of the show.

[danwhobrowses]

Okay so I've watched Dynasty, and I get that people are upset that Mox won again. But here's the thing;

Wrestling never lets lightning strike twice, Swerve winning 1 year after winning the title before at the same event already felt like there was the risk of fuckery to rain on the parade. Swerve was also mega protected in defeat and while Moxley's reign does lack in luster, the villain does have to win sometimes - it makes his defeat all the sweeter.

Swerve losing here however might just be a necessary evil. If Swerve won, the Owen would be locked for Hangman on the same night the first round began - at least now Ospreay is back to being considered as a potential winner too. And it's not to say that Swerve won't get a second chance, All In Texas is 3 months away; Spring BreakThru, Double or Nothing, AND Fyter Fest are in between that, there's still time to deal with the Bucks and use winning as stakes to get a second chance.

Are there places AEW still needs to improve? For sure, all companies have that; several talents are absent in all divisions, several talented wrestlers fall lower in the pecking order than their talent should allow, and several talent who are over are in need of something substantial even if it's feuds that'll lead into challenging for a title. But if you can endure 2 years of Bloodline main events you can endure a bit more of the Death Riders. Dynasty was still good, AEW is still good, don't let Moxley retaining make you forget that.

[indirectcomedian]

ace austin leaving tna means that gia never has to be in forced proximity to that man YESSSS

[dalekofchaos]

You SERIOUSLY mean to fucking tell me we lost

Dakota Kai

Cora Jade

Gigi Dolin

Jakara Jackson

Shotzi Blackheart

Shayna Baszler

Kayden Carter and Katana Chance

Sonya Deville

Isla Dawn

Braun Strowman

Oro Mensah

Javier Bernal

Riley Osborne

Gallus

And pretty much killed the women's midcard scene....

JUST TO FUCKING BRING BACK ALBERTO DEL DIPSHIT??? WHY? FUCKING WHY??? HE HAS NO FUCKING VALUE, HE'S BORING AND MID AS ALL FUCKING HELL, HE'S AN ABUSIVE SACK OF FUCKING SHIT....

and hired la hiedra who stephanie vaquer has a restraining order against for protecting the man who abused her and tried to kill her. this company fucking hates women

Okay fuck this shit. This is where I sign off

Like I'm sorry for Rhea, Liv, Stephanie, Iyo, Giulia, Jade, Naomi and the other ladies I love, but I cannot fucking support this shit anymore

FUCK THIS FUCKING COMPANY.

[mimzywhimsy]

The Bowens Problem: Breakups, Feuds, and Narrative Tension

Think about your favorite wrestling feuds in AEW. I'll name a few of my own from recent memory; MJF vs. CM Punk, Swerve vs. Hangman, Mariah May vs. Toni Storm, and Daniel Garcia vs. Jack Perry. I also like whatever the fuck The Elite have had going on, but that's a whole separate post.

What makes these feuds great? Three things come to mind: Pacing, History, and Character Work.

I'll start with the easiest: pacing. Groundwork needs to be laid. Foreshadowing. Length of time, to really establish the relationship. Rushing a feud is like jacking off to relieve sexual frustration; it might get the job done in the end, but is it really satisfying? Would MJF vs. Punk be as good if we didn't have them blatantly ignoring each other for weeks before meeting face to face on the mic? Would Mariah May's betrayal be as gutwrenching if we didn't follow her efforts to gain Timeless Toni's trust?

The Acclaimed's breakup feud is good when it comes to pacing. Max Caster has been calling himself the Best Wrestler Alive on TV for many months now, and we've seen how his attitude change has slowly worn down on Anthony Bowens' last nerve. How The Acclaimed just aren't winning matches when it counts anymore; something's been off. They've been more and more out of sync in the ring, and Max has only gotten more abrasive and egotistical. Their breakup was hardly a surprise, for this reason.

Next, history. All the feuds I've listed above have this, to one extent or another. MJF's history as a rabid fan of Punk's as a kid. That autograph signing picture. Mariah May following in Toni Storm's footsteps, career-wise. Jack Perry's history as a fan-favorite babyface and his subsequent fall from grace intersects neatly with Daniel Garcia rise from tough midcard heel to beloved, dancing face.

The Acclaimed also have plenty of history: we've been along for the entire ride, witnessing it. Their rise from an obscure Dark tag team to one of the most popular and well-known acts. They fought their battles together, even when the going got tough. Suspensions and ill-times injuries couldn't break them up. They had fire in their eyes and a clear-set goal to be Tag Team champions, and they achieved far beyond our wildest dreams.

So, what's my problem? This feud practically writes itself, right? The breakup of a beloved tag team is a classic trope. Max and Anthony have always portrayed themselves as a Heel-and-Babyface duo who balance each other out, so their roles for this story seem well defined.

....But is that really the best way to go about it?

Enter the third element: character work. Specifically, I want to talk about tensions.

If Max is a clear-cut heel and Anthony is an obvious face, it makes sense- but it's also boring. In other good feuds, even if there is clearly a "good guy" to root for, nothing is ever black and white. Think of MJF's inner vulnerability, and Punk's underlying cruelty towards him. Mariah May's love for Toni that she tries so hard to deny. Daniel Garcia's inherent violent nature that he has to fight against to literally not kill Jack Perry. Swerve is dangerous, and he broke into Hangman's house, but then Hangman burned his childhood home down.

Do not boo me- do NOT boo me for being right, when I say that out of the two, Max Caster has been doing much better character work. It's in his music, his indie work, and (more recently) his work on AEW.

He's especially good at creating tension by showing the warring dichotomy within himself. He has a huge ego, but only to cope with his poor self esteem. He's a sleazeball player who wants love and is afraid of ending up all alone. He never shuts the fuck up, but who is he if he's silent? Sure, he's embarrassing himself in the ring- but is he more delusional than any other wrestler that refuses to give up in the face of hardship? Stubbornly sticking to an idea arguably led to The Acclaimed winning championships. Hell, he refused to stop scissoring his partner, and look what that led to!

Max Caster is an AEW locker room veteran who clearly loves to big league and bully his lessers. He's super awkward and doesn't seem to have many friends. He thinks he's better than everyone else. He's his own worst enemy and harshest critic. He's rich, and pretty, and powerful, and successful. He's the loneliest and saddest guy in the world.

He's a multidimensional, fleshed-out character.

Anthony Bowens is....a good guy? I struggle to figure out anything about him besides for the fact that he's a Great Athlete and Nice Guy who is good at a lot of other things like modelling and baseball. He does and says all the right things. He speaks at colleges and attends charity events. He lives in a cute West Hollywood apartment with a cute husband. He's openly gay and proud of it, but isn't in your face about it like those other more annoying gays! He's not The Gay Wrestler, he's just a wrestler...who is gay....and nice...and talented.

Do you see my problem, here? Anthony Bowens does not bring any tension to the narrative.

He's flatter than Charlotte Flair's pancake ass. He's so focused on being picture perfect that he fails to provide any substance for me to sink my teeth into.

But the thing is, he easily could! He checks all the right boxes and says all the right things- but isn't that just the slightest bit calculating and manipulative? If the image he broadcasts to the world is so perfect, then doesn't that imply that it might be fake? He wants to keep doing the Scissor Me Daddy shtick despite it getting stale, why? The money? The merch sales? Would a good guy with nothing but good intentions cynically do a segment with the Costco Guys and fucking Jericho?

No hate, I'm not trying to smear Bowens' name here! We're in the middle of the feud, so maybe he'll surprise me. I think that Caster's appeal in part comes down to how willing he is to be vulnerable and messy. It might benefit Bowens to do a little of the same.

[otsukare-katsukare]

while i too am delighted by the idea of hangman against mox for the title i still feel like they should be doing more to get him over as a terrifying heel first. by putting him in a feud with an actual straight up babyface people like. its highly likely this does not end up with hangman holding the title (it seemed like this whole angle was about pushing the young babyface midcard to being the new faces of aew so kind of odd to end it by giving the title to hangman now? or jay, he's hardly the soul of aew) but i also dont see it leading to much heel heat for him either when he's in a program with the top heel of the whole company. which makes me wonder what exactly they're going for with him. maybe it's more of a crazed tweener role after all. it's just the trajectory coming out of all out suggested a tragic descent into hell. idk i know whatever it is hangman will knock every aspect out of the park but i really hope they do have a good plan for him in mind

[emeritusterzo]

sad that there is a single wrestler which I care about in the nxt brand and they put her in a can't wrestle stable and now my daughter will die in developmental midcard hell instead of going around in the indies being a freak and getting involved in the casual deathmatch the way god intended for creepy girls. evil cunts

[thlayli-ra]

OKAYYY i see your punknightintyre (i cannot spell.) post and i ask you. your opinions on la knight/roman reigns. i saw your art and lost my marbles but i wanna know your thoughts on it!! love your blog you are a Big Freak (meant positively) 🫶

Hooooooo boy! These two...

This isn't so much a conspiracy theory as it is a head cannon, one that's very much based in how I write them both in my fics.

So Knight is a loner. He's been on the roster for nearly two years and hasn't made a single friend or long-term ally. Because... he's a bit of a dick. He's brash, he's loud and he's self-centred. When he was being constantly attacked - and even abducted! - by Bray Wyatt/Uncle Howdy, not a single soul came to his aid. Past alliances have been short-lived (Rick Boogs), shaky truces (Randy Orton) or ended in disaster (AJ Styles). Even the other babyfaces just kinda... put up with him. I mean, look at his awkward arse at Wrestlemania 40 after Cody's win;

He deserves to be there because he was a player in the fight against The Bloodline, but he has no real ties to Cody. Maybe they each ran in for a save once, but that's really it. He sticks out like a sore thumb. (Hmmm, maybe that's why Punk is trying to get into his good graces. Punk likes loners, he likes to recruit them... but that's for another day.)

As for what Roman thinks about Knight?

As he says in my Winner's Room fic (which I really need to finish!);

"You've come a long way up the ladder in a very short period of time, I'll give you that. But don't let the dizzying heights get to your head. You don't belong here... you're not a main event player, hell, you aint even a midcarder. You're a bottom feeder! And now I've let you touch your toe onto the Island of Relevancy, I'mma throw you back into the depths of obscurity you came from."

To Roman, Knight is a pet, a plaything, a stray dog he can kick. He's something he can use and abuse without consequences. Nobody is going to run out and avenge Knight, because Knight has nobody! He's a free pass.

But he also gets right under Roman's skin!

To have this guy who came out of nowhere, who Roman considers so far beneath him he's barely worth his time, treat him with such blatant disrespect and embarrass him publicly is unforgivable. To make things worse, Knight is a human cockroach and no matter how badly he gets beaten down, he can not be defeated. There's a reason he has 'Defiant One' sewn onto his gear and he proves it, getting back up and getting back in Roman's face time and time again.

But it's more than that. Knight has something that Roman has always desperately wanted and yet never possessed?

The crowd!

Back in the Shield, Roman was arguably the least beloved of the three. As top babyface of the company, he was polarising, if not despised by the majority of the WWE Universe. The only way he could get them to love him was by becoming the villain they all imagined him to be.

So to see Knight inspire such devotion from the fans with a few cheesy catchphrases grates on him.

But deep down, if Roman was brave enough to admit it; he actually likes Knight. At least, as an opponent. He likes that they have no history, no prior relationship. There's nothing messy and Knight treats him no differently from any other man he's faced in the ring. Their feud is just about two wrestlers fighting for a shiny prize.

My latest artwork of them both features them in a 'winner's room' scenario after their Crown Jewel bout. Despite Knight being on the receiving end of a gruelling punishment, the scene has worn them both down. Roman is on his knees, as flushed and sweaty as his sub and smiling. Knight took his punishment well and allowed Roman to unleash his violent side and now he can be his true self. His gentler self that he can never be in front of the cameras, not when he's the Tribal Chief. Knight is in for the after-care of his life!

Because, at the end of the day, what does it matter if he shows his vulnerabilities to Knight? Not like he can go tell anybody?

Hmm..... Or maybe you're right Anon, and I am just a Big Freak! 🤣🤣🤣

[malakaie]

this isn't going to be news to anyone, really, but - i'm going through it. more than i thought i'd be.

i've been kinda sitting with it by myself because i was worried posting about it would come off as me being stinky to people who are excited for the new direction hounds of hell are taking, but ... it is what it is.

i am excited for them. i hope this push they're getting lasts and is committed. i'm a little afraid that it won't be, that they'll drop back into an inconsistent midcard position the same way they were before, and lose every feud because the stipulations they place on the feud have impossible conditions, but ... i want to be hopeful. they're all such great performers, and i really want this to be their year, still. that hasn't changed.

at the same time, i've also cried multiple times since tommy's departure was all-but-confirmed. i get that he probably can't say anything - i get that there's probably nothing to say. riding out his contract until he can do whatever else he wants is, at the end of the day, a pretty unexciting state of affairs.

i get that whatever discussions he's had have probably come to the conclusion that he's not gonna have any more appearances with aew. that's probably a conclusion that makes sense from a business perspective. i don't know. i'm not privy to those conversations.

all i really know is that it hurts anyway. he's someone who worked to keep the company afloat during the pandemic. he put every shred of acting capacity he had into trying to rescue cody rhodes' image when the fans were turning on cody. he worked hard to showcase younger, less experienced wrestlers; he's said multiple times that launching and mentoring younger wrestlers is something he enjoys. i don't think it's a coincidence that the dark arts gym has become an increasingly more important project to him as the months and years go by.

and now he's just gone. no send-off (no, i don't count the match against adam cole; while it was nice to see them respecting each other, it's not a goodbye match, to me, or tommy would have said it is). no moment of appreciation for what he was able to do for the company, despite sporadic, inconsistent booking (this isn't really a criticism of anyone, at this point; i don't know who was responsible for how sporadic it was, and we probably never will).

it's hard because i feel lied to, a little bit. or ghosted. which i'm really aware is pretty silly - just because he was kind to me on tumblr once doesn't mean i know him nor does it mean that i can be owed or expect anything. i can't be ghosted by someone who's not my friend. at this point, i'll probably never meet him in person, and that fucking sucks but it was pretty unlikely to begin with. but i invested a lot of time and emotional energy in someone who told us we'd hear it from him if he was leaving or retiring, and it's been radio silence ever since. again, i get that he probably can't talk about it yet, that there's nothing to talk about, but it's a pretty hard pill to swallow to have to make the switch from pushing back against the rumours and the unfounded bullshit criticisms to just accepting that he's gone with not even a word from anyone who cares enough to be respectful. not even a word from him. (i cannot stress enough, btw, how genuinely incensed i am with whoever keeps talking to the dirtsheets about him. i don't care who it is. if you find him so fucking difficult to work with, put on your big girl pants and talk to him, instead of making it difficult for him to get jobs elsewhere and making him the topic of gossip and speculation for a month+.)

he's gone in a way that allows bad faith actors to conflate kayfabe with irl, too, which sucks. it sucks a lot. i haven't talked about it on here much because i don't enjoy bringing it here when i'm miserable, but i've seen multiple different people (on here and elsewhere) basically taking the "no masters, no leaders" line as proof that what the dirtsheets are saying is true, as proof that he was difficult to work with and undermining the faction. maybe there were fallings-out behind the scenes, i don't know, i probably never will, but it feels not just disingenuous but borderline unkind to suggest that everyone including tommy's best friends turned on him just because he started maybe having some different priorities as he approaches 40.

some of this, admittedly, is because of my personal investment. that's on me. i need to figure out how to disentangle criticisms of tommy from my own personal hurt. they're not actually insulting me, but it feels like they are because of how closely i resonated with tommy's work and his ideas, and that's purely my own fault. that's something i need to work on.

i mean it when i say i'll support whatever he does next. i'll follow him wherever he goes if i can. if it's indie shows forever i'll try and figure out where they're uploaded/streamed, if they are. if it's wwe, well, i care more about him having a job that he enjoys than i do about some kinda bullshit brand loyalty. but if i'm being honest i'm kind of hurt and pissed off with him, too, and the constant tone of the speculation and bullshit around him isn't helping me feel less bruised.

and i know this almost definitely isn't accurate or objectively true, but i feel like one of two people in this space who even gives a shit about him. and it sucks so bad that i'm just miserable by myself.

[wrestlingisfake]

AEW Fake Rankings, 10/20/2024

Men's singles division - babyfaces

Will Ospreay

Darby Allin

Ricochet

Jay White

Mark Briscoe (ROH men's world champion)

Daniel Garcia

Orange Cassidy

Kyle O'Reilly

HOOK

Katsuyori Shibata

Men's singles division - heels

Jon Moxley (AEW men's world champion)

Kazuchika Okada (AEW continental champion)

Adam Page

Konosuke Takeshita (AEW international champion)

Christian Cage

Jack Perry (AEW TNT champion)

Chris Jericho

Kyle Fletcher

Shelton Benjamin

Roderick Strong

Unranked: Aaron Solo, Angelico, AR Fox, Atlantis Jr.*, Big Bill, Bryan Keith, Hologram, Jeff Jarrett, Johnny TV, Juice Robinson, Komander, Lio Rush*, Minoru Suzuki*, Nick Wayne, Rocky Romero*, Serpentico/Jon Cruz, The Butcher

Jobbers: Alpha Zo*, BEEF*, Chris Nastyy*, Cody Chhun*, Jack Cartwheel*, Joe Keys*, Marcus Mathers*, Matt Brannigan*, Olumide*, Ryan Clancy*, TJ Crawford

* Not listed on AEW's official roster webpage

Moxley has declared war on the AEW roster (or at least the men's locker room), and it feels like he'll spend at least the next six months clobbering wave after wave of "complacent" midcarders. Darby Allin is clearly being set up as a major destination for this saga, but I'm not certain if he'll be Moxley's first big challenger, or if he'll be saved for the end like Sting in 1997. There's also foreshadowing of Orange Cassidy and Daniel Garcia stepping up, and I think Hook and Kyle O'Reilly would fit in that role as well. But only one guy can get the rub of dethroning Mox, and we'll just have to wait and see who that will be.

Heading into Full Gear on November 23, the other top programs look to be Jay White vs. Adam Page, Ospreay vs. Fletcher, Takeshita vs. Fletcher, Jericho vs. Briscoe, Garcia vs. Perry, Swerve Strickland vs. Shelton Benjamin, and Adam Cole vs. MJF. I expect Hook vs. Christian Cage will be a thing too, but right now it's just an educated guess that Christian is the one who attacked Hook's father.

Men's tag team division - babyfaces

The Acclaimed - Max Caster & Anthony Bowens

FTR - Dax Wheeler & Cash Wheeler

Private Party - Isiah Kassidy & Marq Quen

Dustin Rhodes (ROH trios champion) & Sammy Guevara (ROH tag team champions)

The Outrunners - Truth Magnum* & Turbo Floyd*

Men's tag team division - heels

The Young Bucks - Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson (AEW tag team champions)

Grizzled Young Veterans - James Drake* & Zack Gibson*

MxM Collection - Mason Madden* & Mansoor*

Matt Taven & Mike Bennett

Brian Cage (ROH men's television champion) & Lance Archer

Iron Savages - Bulk Bronson* & Beefcake Boulder*

* Not listed on AEW's official roster webpage

The state of the tag division is this: The Bucks are heel champions with no one to fight. The Acclaimed haven't ever gotten a clean two-on-two title shot all year, but they don't seem to be in a hurry to get it anymore. FTR and Private Party already lost to the Bucks. The Outrunners, MxM, and the Iron Savages are all cool as hell, but they're comedy acts that can't beat anybody. I don't think GYV have been around since they got upset by the Outrunners, which may be a sign that they aren't going to be back. Rhodes-Guevara and Taven-Bennett are big deals in ROH but off the radar in AEW. Don Callis has put Cage and Archer together to chase the tag title, but I don't see that going anywhere as long as the champions are also heels.

I'd like to see Private Party rack up a big win to get back into the title hunt, but I don't see why that should turn out any differently than the title match they just lost last week. So it feels like the division is going nowhere, marking time until the Golden Lovers (Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi) are ready to feud with the Bucks. Which, I'd be fine with doing that feud, but not if it means keeping the division in deep freeze for a couple more months.

Men's trios division - babyfaces

Malakai Black & Brody King & Buddy Matthews

Action Andretti & Dante Martin & Darius Martin

Dark Order - Evil Uno & John Silver & Alex Reynolds

Men's trios division - heels

Claudio Castagnoli & Wheeler Yuta & PAC (AEW trios champions)

La Faccion Ingobernable - Rush & Dralistico & The Beast Mortos

Premier Athletes - Tony Nese & Josh Woods & Ariya Daivari

Moxley's running buddies control the trios title, which works out well since all the undercard scrubs they keep beating up can then demand a match and get clobbered in a trios match. This seems to be giving Dark Order and Action-Darius-Dante something to work with, even if it's not much and they have no hope of winning. I think Daniel Garcia and Private Party would be a stronger trio to go after the title, but they're not done yet with Jack Perry and the Young Bucks.

The House of Black is remarkably well protected for a group that never figures into any major storylines. Are they being built up to take the belts from Claudio, Pac, and Yuta? Could Julia Hart return to counter Marina Shafir? Who knows.

I stuck LFI in the trios division because I really don't know what those three guys are going to do, now that they're all in the same team with Jake Roberts. I don't think AEW knows either, so that'll probably lead to a bunch of throwaway trios matches. Hopefully they can at least win those matches, which would keep them ahead of Neese-Woods-Daivari.

Women's division - babyfaces

Britt Baker

Willow Nightingale

Jamie Hayter

Kris Statlander

Anna Jay

Queen Aminata

Nyla Rose

Yuka Sakazaki

Lady Frost*

Trish Adora*

Women's division - heels

Mariah May (AEW women's world champion)

Mercedes Mone (AEW TBS champion, STRONG women's champion)

Kamille

Serena Deeb

Taya Valkyrie

Emi Sakura

Harley Cameron

Robyn Renegade*

Jobbers: Amira*, Brooke Havok*, Zoey Lynn*

* Not listed on AEW's official roster webpage

You'd think Marina Shafir would be running rough-shod over the women's division to lock up its top title the way Moxley has with the men. The problem is that moving the world title would disrupt the Mariah May/Toni Storm/Mina Shirakawa storyline. I guess Shafir could crush Mone, but I don't know if that would do either of them any good. Sooner or later, though, it will become clear that Marina is the woman to beat, which will get awkward if there are too many champions that can't beat her.

As it is, the big programs for the women right now are Mariah vs. Anna Jay, Mone and Kamille vs. Statlander, and, uh, Jamie Hayter vs. Penelope Ford? It feels like there should be more going on right now. But I don't know where Britt and Willow are headed, Deonna Purrazzo and Taya Valkyrie keep doing pre-taped promos about nothing, and Toni Storm is still roaming the world pretending she doesn't know who Mariah May is. After five years AEW's women's roster finally has some real depth, but that only gets the division so far when it only gets 3-4 matches per week.

No televised AEW matches in over 30 days: Abadon, Athena (ROH women's world champion), Brandon Cutler, Diamante, Lee Moriarty (ROH pure champion), Marhsall Von Erich* (ROH trios champion), Preston Vance, Red Velvet (ROH women's television champion), Ross Von Erich* (ROH trios champion), Shane Taylor, Shawn Dean

* Not listed on AEW's official roster webpage

Not much new to report about the wrestlers officially signed to AEW but almost exclusively appearing on Ring of Honor. They're on the shows, they're getting work, it's just that almost nobody hears about it. The worst part is most of these names can't even get booked on an ROH pay-per-view.

No televised AEW or ROH matches in over 30 days: Anthony Ogogo, Angelo Parker, Austin Gunn, Bishop Kaun, Bobby Dutch, Colten Gunn, Deonna Purrazzo, Griff Garrison, Hikaru Shida, Jay Lethal, Kip Sabian, Leila Grey, Lee Johnson, Marina Shafir, Matt Menard, Peter Avalon, Swerve Strickland, Thunder Rosa, Toa Liona, Toni Storm, Vincent Marseglia

The bad news is that I don't know why most of these wrestlers haven't been in the ring lately, but the good news is most of them haven't been completely MIA. Some were around in late August/early September, some are on the show right now but not wrestling, and some are booked for the next couple of weeks. That's what I like to see.

No televised AEW or ROH matches in over 90 days: Colt Cabana, Danhausen, Kiera Hogan, Madison Rayne, Mercedes Martinez, Penta El Zero Miedo, Powerhouse Hobbs, Rey Fenix, Ricky Starks

These are the wrestlers I'm worried about. Colt and Madison seem to be transitioning to backstage roles and/or semi-retirement, so that's okay. But I have no idea why Tony Khan would have Danhausen, Starks, Penta, and Fenix on the payroll and not book them. I realize Penta and Fenix are reportedly planning to go to WWE, but that doesn't mean you can use them to do a few jobs on the way out. Hobbs is supposed to be medically cleared, so I don't understand why he wasn't around for the big Don Callis Family promo on October 16. Hogan and Martinez seem to have fallen off the face of the earth.

No televised AEW or ROH matches in 2024: Adam Cole, Kota Ibushi, Michael Nakazawa, Miro, Penelope Ford, Scorpio Sky, Tay Melo

Cole and Ford just got back and should be returning to the ring imminently. Ibushi has already returned to the ring in Japan and I figure he'll be back in an AEW ring soon enough. I've heard Melo is training to return from maternity leave so it's probably just a matter of time. Nakazawa seems to just be a backstage guy at this point. It was recently reported that Miro requested his release, but evidently he hasn't gotten it. AEW was running hype videos for Scorpio a few months ago but then dropped it, so I have no idea.

Part-time/semi-retired: Alex Abrahantes, Karen Jarrett, Luther, Mark Sterling, Nigel McGuinness, Paul Wight, Prince Nana, Rebel, Satnam Singh, Sonjay Dutt, Stokely Hathaway

I suppose I'll have to move Bryan Danielson into this list, once he's gotten his neck issues worked out and if he can still go on a part-time basis.

Inactive

Adam Copeland (left leg - tibia fracture)

Angel Ortiz (right shoulder - pectoralis tear)

Bandido (left arm - wrist fracture)

Bryan Danielson (storyline injuries - probably to set up legit neck surgery)

Chuck Taylor (left ankle - necrosis)

Eddie Kingston (right leg - tibia fracture, ACL/meniscus tear)

Julia Hart (shoulder - unspecified injury)

Keith Lee (undisclosed injury)

Kenny Omega (diverticulitis)

Killswitch (double pneumonia)

Leyla Hirsch (elbow - dislocation)

Mark Davis (left arm - wrist fracture)

Matt Sydal (right foot - malunion fractures)

MJF (filming Happy Gilmore 2)

Nick Comoroto (hip resurfacing)

Riho (work visa delays)

Ruby Soho (pregnant)

Samoa Joe (filming Twisted Metal season 2)

Saraya (storyline - "incapacitated")

Skye Blue (right ankle - fracture)

The Blade (lower back - herniated disc)

Trent Beretta (neck - hardware removal surgery)

Wardlow (knee - unspecified injury)

I haven't heard any significant updates on any of these wrestlers. Lately it seems like a report will come out that so-and-so is medically cleared, and then so-and-so still sits in the twilight zone for months before they come back. So even if there was news I don't think it would help us estimate when a wrestler will return to the ring.

[jupiterjunebug]

Anyway. Fantasy booking. a universe where sting and darby have the belts and then vacate when sting retires undefeated. The bucks are petty they lost and so when the inevitable tag tournament to declare a new champ happens they abuse their power to make sure most of the tags are guys who have

1. purposefully broken up (jungle express return)

2. One is (at this point shoot) hurt (aussie open)

3. The most midcard guys (silver and reynolds, 2point0)

4. Guys who absolutely fucking hate each others guts (strickpage)

And all the like. Actual active tag teams (private party, hardys, ftr, buddy and malakai) are pissed as hell and ALSO insist on being in the tournament. But then strickpage makes it to the finals out of spite because hangmans mad the bucks made him spend fucking quality bonding time with swerve. In the finals the bucks are like and now our secret plan where u get revenge on him and cost him the belt because were best friends? And hes like no actually swerve and i have come to an agreement im going to punch you so hard you lose the extra syllables on your names love you besties.

[selamat-linting]

i think cody's been doing great as a face and i would love it still if he did a heel turn someday because it would be interesting to see how he changes his american nightmare gimmick to be villainous (my favorite homelander), but the way people just keep saying he's better off as a heel as if he never did that kind of work is fucking stupid.

like, you want him as a flamboyant heel? he already did that with the stardust and dashing gimmick. i love it, but his stardust run was laughed at at the time and he sees it as an embarrassment. the dashing cody rhodes proved he did have the acting chops to be that kind of heel, but he was stuck in midcard hell because it didnt make him stand out. it still wouldnt make him stand out now, because even if he had the natural skills for it, seth and pretty deadly already filled the flamboyant character niche. and seth was seen as a shitty boring character for doing that btw.

or you want him to turn on the audience? drops everything one day and say everyone is stupid for supporting him? he's no punk, he build his character on being nice to kids and appealing on the crowd, its not going to make sense and he won't be able to do it.

im a mark myself, but i think it shows most fans, especially the internet ones just arent to be trusted to write a good wrestling storyline. yall think everyone is better off as a heel or a tweener, not realizing that wrestling as a whole is a spesific kind of story and it needs people playing different characters and having different power levels and different narrative importance. cody might not appeal to you spesifically and thats fine, but he found a niche of a character that wwe needs to appeal for their fanbase (children and casuals) and he's doing his best to fill it. if you ever wonder why he's so over despite you and your circle of mutuals not liking him, thats the answer.

[shanie]

Look, I'm only gonna say this once for fear of getting canceled by the fanbase.

Once Sami and Kevin get back into the swing of things, either give them a meaningful title reign or take the belts off them and give them something to do that does matter.

Because first of all, this bullshit is clearly depressing the hell out of Kevin and Sami can't possibly be happy about this booking either. But beyond that, them being put against the Judgement Day, when the whole thing is to make TJD look as good as possible, they're the tag champs and are legit starting to be used like enhancement talent. At least, that's the vibe I'm getting by them being used to elevate another act vs standing tall themselves.

So yeah. Either shit or get off the pot with this. Give them a title reign worth a damn or just end it. At this point I would rather see the end of this round of Zowens than see them languish as glorified midcarders just a few months after main eventing WrestleMania.

[mayhemproduces]

Riley Ishimori can barely stand after that absolute war she just went through against Mance Warner in our main event tonight, but she does her best, collecting her MPW World Championship belt from the referee as Dyln Blaine, who we saw victorious earlier tonight in six man tag team action, is making his way down to the ring, mic in hand, having changed out of his ring gear into a pair of jeans and a Kelly Green Philadelphia Eagles Starter Jacket. Riley has to lean against the ropes a bit at first, but eventually manages to straighten up and stand on her own two feet. Dyln wasn’t someone we’d consider to be actively malicious (not anymore, at least), but it’s clear Riley still felt it be important, as a champion, to not show any potential weakness, no matter who it was getting in the ring with her. 

The music cuts, and Dyln and Riley are left staring at each other. 

“Riley… It’s been… Few months? Since you and me locked up last?... You did it. You did what I, and a bunch of others couldn’t. You beat MJF, you ended one of the darkest periods in MPW history… and I speak for the people in the crowd, and everyone in the back, that we’re so, so happy you did… But you and I both know, that with all due respect, your happy ending isn’t the same as mine, Riley. I’m happy for you, I really am… But now, you have something I want.” Dyln’s eyes drift toward the MPW World Championship sitting around Riley’s shoulder, as the noise of the crowd picks up at the suggestion of a challenge. 

“You and I aren’t strangers to each other. We’ve had wars over the MPW Stardust title… but when we fighting over it, we never pinned each other. Your partner pinned mine to win you that title in a tag match, and my rematch was a ladder match. I’m the kind of guy that keeps score, and the way I see it, you’ve pinned me, once, and I’ve pinned you, once. That means we’re even… That means, you and I, are due a rubber match. And the last time I received an MPW World Championship match, my fair opportunity was stolen from me. I know two things about you, Riley. You’re an honorable woman, and you’re a fighting champion. Two weeks ago, I beat Will Ospreay. Last week, I beat Ricochet…-” Dyln pauses as the crowd starts to chant “BALD! BALD! BALD!” just at the mention of Trevor. “This week, I pin both the JCW Champion, and TNA Knockouts Champion, In Masha Slamovich. I’ve done my time. I’ve climbed back to the top of the ladder, and now, now there’s only one rung left, and it’s you, Riley. I want the fair fight that was stolen from me months ago, I want you and I to stand in this ring, and with our little series tied 1-1, I wanna find out, between us, who is the better wrestler, I want to find out, between us… Which one of us is worthy of holding the MPW World Championship.” 

The crowd explodes at the sound of the challenge, and Dyln holds out the mic to Riley, waiting for her answer… 

Riley takes the mic, twirling it around in her hand. That’s what you want? You wanna step to the champ?” With her tongue poking the inside of her cheek, she looks Dyln up and down, considering him. “Well, I’m definitely not gonna be the one to tell you no. Hell no. If that’s what you want man, then I’m more than happy to make that happen. But you need to understand somethin’-” Riley steps to Dyln, getting dangerously close to him. “You need to look me in the eye, and you need to understand what you’re gettin’ yourself into, ‘cause this isn’t gonna be like last time. This ain’t gonna be no fifteen minute rush, jumpin’ breakneck speed up the ladder - this is for the very life of this company. The heart and soul beats in this title, and you’re going to have to kill me if you want a chance in hell of taking it from me… If you want another shot at this, then understand that I’m going to push you until the clock runs out. And if you think knockin’ off a couple of midcarders means you get to step to THE champ… then I hope your girl knows a good mortician.”

“Time and place, mate. Name it, you got it.” And with that, Riley shoves the microphone into Dyln’s chest.

[megkenobi]

Top 5 WWE moments

Okay this is going to be hard because there's just so many years worth of great moments. I'm going to go with some very recent ones (within the last two years) and at least two of them might not be the BEST moments to anybody else, but they are to me because I got to see them happen in person.

1: Cody Rhodes winning at Wrestlemania 40. I had a genuine emotional reaction to it, screaming, cheering, crying a little bit. It was exhilarating. I imagine it's what it feels like when someone's football team wins the Superbowl...

2: Iyo Sky winning over Rhea Ripley at the Raw Josh and I went to back in March. I'm biased towards this for that reason. It was unexpected and I was rooting for her over Rhea. I literally jumped up and down and hugged Josh I was so happy.

3: Cheating with this as it's a series of moments: the CM Punk and Drew McIntyre feud from last year. It was intense and crazed and culminated in one of the best Hell in a Cell matches ever. It also cemented Drew as my favorite male wrestler.

4: Chelsea Green becoming the first women's U.S. Champion. Chelsea is one of my favorite wrestlers and when they announced the women's midcard titles she was the number one person I was rooting for. (Honorable mention for her money in the bank spot where she was pushed off of a ladder and onto a table, it was badass).

5: Another purely sentimental one: the OG Bloodline reforming, because I was at that filming of Smackdown when it happened. Genuinely there is nothing like being at a show and having such a big moment occur. The crowd was going absolutely insane, and there's just something about being around thousands of people who all feel the same excitement you do.

[beanybean5000]

bad blood 2024

suck it count: 5

michael cole ‘unloading’ count: 1

only listened to the am3rica song in the beginning bc samantha irvin sang it (which she obviously killed)

cm punk vs. drew mcintyre hell in a cell. blading is back bitches!! i’ve literally been complaining about the lack of blood (while also acknowledging blood borne pathogens), so it was nice to see some. but i fucking hate cm punk and wanted to see him dead in the center of the ring at the end of it, so. good match, tho

nia jax vs. bayley, wwe women’s championship. ngl, i had no bones in this match bc i’m not caught up yet. the crowd seemed to really want tiffy to cash in, and i kind of agree with them

damian priest vs. finn bálor. obvi, love that damian won ✊🏽😚. his outfit and hair were soooo good too. good match, and he better get his world championship back soon

mad they announced…a crown jewel championship…instead of a women’s midcard belt. but i guess we can’t all win

liv morgan vs. rhea, world women’s championship. glad they finally let rhea beat liv up 😈 now let her get her belt back, and let her fight (and beat) dom. making him a piñata was fun tho, and obviously rhea looked great

cody rhodes & roman reigns vs. solo sikoa & jacob fatu. did i not care about this just bc i’m not caught up on the lore? bc i really couldn’t care less about this, which makes me kinda sad bc i love roman and solo (and jacob, but i haven’t actually seen much of him). so glad jimmy’s back 😭