#My hungry ass could not be a heart surgeon
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cupofsharks · 2 months ago
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Why does my stomach grumble when I do any research on hearts
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gray-soul · 9 months ago
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sisyphean-torment · 1 year ago
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The Falcon Gambit
Summary:
Scar and Grian decide to put on a show, as a falconer and his falcon. The script falls apart from there.
For Hot Scarian Summer 2024 | Day 6: let's play a game
Prompts: in the desert / putting on a show / soul bond
@hot-scarian-summer-2024
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attyrocious · 2 years ago
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my hungry ass could not be a heart surgeon id bite it like an apple
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quinloki · 5 months ago
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My hungry ass could not be trusted in one piece (with intent of pseudo-cannibalism)
I can't remember the artist at the moment - I was trying to find the post and just had no luck - but someone did a little comic along those lines XD
It was, appropriately, Luffy and Law, and Law was holding a heart and Luffy's just like "my hungry ass could not be a surgeon"
And poor Law was just like "WHAT."
Man, as hungry as I've gotten though, I'd be so nervous about finding like, the first non-fruit devil fruit or something and ending up with frustratingly useless powers when I'd rather be swimming XD
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chaosdoesnotdefineme · 3 months ago
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I cut open a heart today. they were right. my hungry ass could never be a surgeon
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psy-ay-ay · 11 months ago
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"my hungry ass could never be a heart surgeon" - luffy to law
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hannibal-lectotype · 2 years ago
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Boss: “I noticed you have a patch on your bag that’s a human heart. Are you a fan of heart surgeons or something?”
My brain: “my hungry ass could never be a heart surgeon”
Me, aloud, panicked: “haha, I just like horror! 😅”
Coworker: “boss, maybe step away a bit 😂😂😂.”
Me: 🫠🫠🫠
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cherries-are-valid · 1 year ago
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my hungry ass could not be a heart surgeon 🤣🤣
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bb-drayster · 1 year ago
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my hungry ass could never be a heart surgeon. anyways good morning unova great day to be the drayster
-🐉
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cupofsharks · 8 months ago
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My hungry ass could NOT be a heart surgeon
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slavic-muttt · 2 years ago
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My hungry ass could NOT be a heart Surgeon💀💀💀💀
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malereadermaniac · 3 years ago
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૮ • ﻌ - ა The Experiment ~ Mark Sloan x Male Reader
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Word Count: 1k
Plot: An old memory comes back to 'haunt' Dr Sloan
Warnings: m!reader (no genitalia mentioned) / FDNI
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He didn't expect to ever see you again
But there you were... Walking into Seattle Grace and talking to Chief Webber
"Mark! Are you even listening to me?" Derek snaps his fingers at his friend, but that doesn't break Mark's stare
He watched you attentively as you walked towards him and Derek with the Chief; head empty-no thoughts, except that at the same time, many different thoughts ran through Mark's brain!
"Shepherd, Sloan, this is Dr [Last name]. Make sure you get on his good side as he is now our new ENT Attending" The chief introduces you
"Derek Shepherd" the handsome man says, shaking your hand and giving you a smile
"[Name] [Last Name], pleasure to meet you~" you say, smiling with a warm tone in your voice
A silence fell as Mark failed to introduce himself, still just looking at you
"Sloan?" The chief says, nudging the attractive male out of his trance
"This is Mar-" Derek starts but you cut him off quickly
"Mark Sloan, I know~ We went to med school together" you say with a chuckle and gesture to Richard that you two should go finish up some paperwork
However, you make sure to give a small wink to Mark as you walk past
And that man's eyes couldn't come off of you as you walked away! Even if he tried to rip em offa ya!
"What? Cat got your tongue, Mark? How come you never told me about [Name]?"
"Cause I barely knew him. I have a surgery to get to." The muscular man says and leaves his friend in the hallway
The truth was that not only were you and Sloan in Med school together, but you two also experimented together
For a while as well...
And no matter how good it was for the both of you, Mark didn't like to admit that he liked it - or at least he didn't back then
Nowadays, Sloan's a little more comfortable in his sexuality - when Callie came out he tried to comfort her by saying "Hey! I kinda like guys too??", which thoroughly shocked the orthopaedic surgeon
But back in med school? Mark had a reputation to hold up! He couldn't afford to lose it, no matter how much his heart would race every time you smiled at him or how many mornings in a row he would wake up early just to watch you sleep beside him with nothing but his covers over you to hide your beautiful, naked body
"Dr Sloan, perfect timing. I was just introducing Dr [Last Name] to your patient" Yang explained as Sloan's resident on the case, which you had now joined
"Dr [Last Name]?" Sloan questioned
"Yes Dr Sloan, you are reconstructing this young woman's ears, so I will be needed for this surgery" you say with a smile and return to the patient
During the whole explanation to the patient, Mark looked at you and thousands of thoughts rushed through his head
Why are you here?
How have you been?
Does he still have feelings for you?
Was that the reason he stopped hooking up with you?
Why does he have a boner?
Oh no he has a boner.
And so on, so forth
"Dr Sloan, a quick word please?" You ask
The two of you walk out into the hall as Christina answers any questions the patient has
"Listen, I know I'm incredibly attractive and you want to profess your undying love to me, Mark - however we are both at work, so please keep your eyes off of my face and ass. Could you do that for me?" You ask in a tone which sounded as if you were gentle-parenting the plastic surgeon, giggling at the man's slow nod
"Sure, but we need to talk later" Sloan mumbles
"Talk? About what? I remember you were the one that stormed out of my apartment half naked shouting "I'm not a homo"?" You say with a cold face, a small raise of your eyebrow and squint of your eye emphasising your point and leaving the plastic surgeon slightly speechless
At lunch, you were the most popular attending, like a steak thrown to hungry lions, everyone wanted to get to know you, befriend you or bed you
"So why become an ENT?" Arizona asks
"More importantly, are you single?" Another attending asks
"Leave the man alone... where did you study?" Asks Bailey
Sloan was left standing with an apple in his hand as the table was crowded with attendings and residents, especially ones with interests in your speciality
"Oh! Mark!" Dr Torez calls the man-slag over, making the smile on your face fade for a second
"Excuse me, I just need to go check on a patient" you say, getting up from the table and walking off
But Sloan followed you...
Next thing you know, you're in a supply closet with your ex-hook-up/fuck buddy/boyfriend/whatever
"What the hell, Mark??" You kinda shout, your hand rubbing your head as you had knocked it into a shelf
"Just give me 5 minutes to explain myself, [Name]! Please" Mark begs, his tall figure looming above you as his chest presses against yours
"Fine, but that's all you get" you say with a pissed-off look
And so he started
Explaining how he was ashamed of himself
How he didn't really want to break things off
How he was wholly in the wrong
And how he still has feelings for you all these years later...
By the end of it, the tall man had a tear in his eye and a thin blush on his face; you felt pretty bad for him, and guilty for being a bitch to him earlier
"Mark... I'm sorry for being such a dick" you say, hugging him, your head resting against his huge chest; a feeling so vaguely familiar
"No, I'm sorry [Name]"
"Turn a new leaf?" You say with that warm smile which Mark had fallen for back in college
"Sure, sweetcheeks" Mark responds with the nickname he used to call you
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There won't be a part 2 sorry guys but I had to cheap out of Disney+ so Grey's anatomy is NOT on my mind
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verlaines-corner-archive · 3 years ago
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Muerte: my hungry ass could NOT be a brain surgeon
His S/O: what do you mean by that-? No don’t walk away what the fuck do you mean by that??
LMAO oh I know for a fact Muerte says the most out of pocket bullshit just to mess with his lover.
You could be sitting at home just relaxing and he’ll say something that sends the fear of god into your heart for a split second before just returning to whatever it was he was doing. And he’s so calm and collected for the most part so that makes the whiplash of the comment even WORSE like huh ????
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dragonskxn · 2 years ago
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"My hungry ass could never be a heart surgeon."
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apiratewhopines · 4 years ago
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Thanks to @teamhook for the artwork and for helping me pick a movie that wasn’t already done!
Midnight
Chapter 6 — The Mice
Summary: In which our heroine wins the battle but loses the war
Chapter 6 of 7 on AO3
“The way you changed my life
No, no, they can’t take that away from me”
-They Can’t Take That Away from Me, Fred Astaire
After the excitement of the morning passed, Sidney grumbled until they returned to the table. Still shaken by whatever Arthur said on their brief phone call, Killian declined to join them and returned to their room. No doubt to dream up a make-believe pregnancy for her. Most probably twins this time.
“I thought you told me we would have smoked salmon for our bagels,” the man complained to Guin, face upset as if the plentiful choices offered on their breakfast buffet were insufficient.
“I’m sorry, dear. I know it’s your favorite, so I made sure it was on the menu I gave to our chef,” she murmured coaxingly. Looking at the butler who was filling Arthur’s coffee cup, she asked, “What happened to the salmon?”
“There was a mistake, ma’am. It was left out of the last delivery, and since the phones have been out all morning, we couldn’t contact the market. I’ve sent one of the girls into town to buy some, so we will have it tomorrow morning. If the gentleman prefers, we can prepare a plate for him this afternoon.”
“Nonsense,” she replied. “The phones are in perfect working order. We just made a call to Europe to check on the Baron’s daughter.”
“No, ma’am, only the internal phone system is working. An accident took out the lines last night.”
Emma reached over and grabbed Arthur’s hand under the table as they shared an uneasy look when the other three people at the table all glanced at her with questions in their eyes. Lance broke the silence. “I don’t understand…”
“I’m afraid he’s right. I wasn’t on the phone with my mother-in-law. In fact, I don’t— No, I don’t want to burden you with my problems,” she said haltingly, her mind racing with ways to get out of this mess. The words tumbled from her mouth so quickly she didn’t have a chance to think through the consequences, which seemed to be the way she operated these days.
“Oh, please, you can’t stop now. This little mystery is the only thing distracting me from my lack of fish,” Sidney countered. He was studying the wide variety of fruit compotes and toppings for his pancakes and sounded desolate. “Please.”
“Well, let’s just say the Baron’s family has a touch of eccentricity,” she continued with a grimace. She had their rapt attention; even Sidney abandoned his food and gawked at her. “My first hint was at the wedding. I was opening the gifts, and his grandfather gave us a broken compass covered in Thousand Island dressing.”
“Yes,” Arthur broke in, determined to help. “Now I remember hearing there was a streak of madness in the family. His father was known as the Mad Baron of Cambridge. He liked to give people roller skates with missing laces instead of flowers.”
“The truth is…we don’t have a daughter.”
“Oh, this is much more delicious than breakfast,” Sidney gushed, pushing his plate away and moving to the seat across from her. “Tell us more.”
“I don’t want you to think bad of him. Most of the time, he’s lucid and the sweetest man in the world. That’s the man I fell in love with. But when he’s having one of his episodes, like this morning, he can get quite aggressive if confronted. It’s best to go along with whatever he’s saying. It always starts when he first wakes as if he can’t shake some odd dream in his mind,” she grabbed her napkin and dabbed at fake tears. “There was one time about six months ago he woke up convinced he was Captain Hook. He wore eyeliner for weeks and refused to use his left hand. When I tried to make him see reason, he insisted I call him Captain and tried to have me arrested as a mutineer.”
“You poor thing,” Guin said, genuine sympathy in her expression. “I wondered why you called him that. I thought perhaps he served in the Navy.”
“And you’ve stayed with him all these years?” Lance’s gaze, which was always admiring, held a new respect for her now. It didn’t make her feel any better. “You’re wonderful.”
“Hmm, yes, absolutely amazing,” Arthur murmured under his breath. The smirk was back, and she could tell he was enjoying her web of lies. At least someone was. “Is there some medication he can take? Perhaps you should have him committed.”
“No, I would never. I promised to stay with Killian in good times and bad. It will pass eventually. It always does,” she bit out, kicking him under the table. Before anything else could be said, she heard the Captain whistling as he practically skipped out of the house toward them dressed in the sky blue scrubs of a surgeon. The color made his eyes even more beautiful, and the tiniest smattering of hair visible above the v-neck of the shirt did things to her heart.
“Arthur, Guinevere, thank you for the hospitality, but we really must be going. I have to get back for my shift at the hospital.” Everyone jumped at the pronouncement, exchanging loaded glances and trying to figure out what to say or do next.
Guin smiled at him shakily and in a calm voice asked, “The hospital, Baron?”
“Not a baron, I’m afraid. And this woman isn’t a baroness. You notice I didn’t say my wife because she isn’t that either,” Killian informed them as he stopped by her chair and reached down to place a hand on her shoulder.
“Killian, you don’t mean that,” Emma responded. She would have laughed at his look of confusion at the lack of reaction to his revelation if she wasn’t so sure it would come back to bite her in the ass.
With an admonishing look, Lance said, “See here, Baron, there’s no need to insult the woman who has stayed by you through thick and thin.”
“Thick and thin? We met five nights ago, and she couldn’t wait to be rid of me. She’s an imposter. And I’m a doctor who has real things to do in the real world. Come on, Swan, let’s leave these lovely people to their breakfast.”
“Oh, I get it. You think she’s Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of the Caribbean.” Sidney snapped his fingers as if all the pieces had fallen into place.
“What? No, I think she’s a bounty hunter and the most impossible woman I’ve ever met,” Killian argued, determined to make them see the truth. The more he spoke, the more their faces cleared of all emotion like they were afraid a smile or frown would push him further into his delusions. He pulled her from the chair gently, and since she felt like pond scum for the lies she told, she let his arms circle her waist. As an added benefit she didn’t deserve, the position allowed her nose to be tickled by the chest hair so temptingly on display.
“Maybe she’s a mutineer,” Arthur offered.
Looking at the group, Killian shook his head in disbelief. “I think you’re all crazy.”
“Yes, that must be it,” Guin said soothingly. “Why don’t you have some breakfast, Baron?”
“I’m not sure how I can be more clear. I’m not a baron. We’re not married. We met in the middle of the road a few nights ago, and I pretended to be her Uber driver so I could give her a ride to a strip club. It turned into the best night of my life.”
Undeterred, Guin patted his arm, which was still wrapped tightly around her. “What a lovely courtship you’ve had. Now, let’s get you something to eat. Do you prefer coffee or tea to drink?”
“Are you not listening to a word I’m saying? We’re fakes! We haven’t known each other for more than a week. She twisted me around her little finger in two minutes. As infuriating as she is, I fell in love with her smile. The sound of her laugh makes my blood pump faster, and when she talks about not believing in love, it makes me want to prove to her that it exists every day for the rest of our lives.”
She was fading, her will to stick it out with Arthur and give him a happy ending melting in the heat of Killian’s honeyed words. His genuine concern at how nonchalantly they were accepting his confession should have been funny, but all she could think about was how he said ‘the rest of our lives.’
Like he meant it.
“Well, fakes or not, I’m still hungry,” Sidney answered, trying his best in the face of impossible odds. “Maybe your patients could wait a few hours until the salmon arrives. It’s quite good.”
“Bloody hell, this is a madhouse. Come on, Emma, enough is enough. Let’s go,” he urged her again. Taking the napkin from her hand, he threw it on the table and switched his grip to gently hold her upper arm and guide her away from the group.
They were immediately halted by Lance, thunder in his expression and lightning in his eyes. “She’s not going anywhere with you, Baron. We know all about your illness. She won’t be safe.”
“My illness?” Understanding dawned on his face and his head tilted back like he was searching the morning sky for answers. With a wry chuckle, he sighed. “Bravo, Swan. You told them I’m crazy. And I played right into it, didn’t I? Because I’ve been acting crazy, a man driven out of his mind at the sight of his most cherished dream waltzing away from him like he was nothing. Like everything he felt was nothing as far as she was concerned.”
She choked up at the bitter twist of his mouth. He was so brave, declaring his feelings in front of everyone, even convinced she would reject him again. Was it any wonder she had fallen head over heels for him?
And what did she do? She lied. She tricked. She ran. Then she rinsed and repeated.
“Captain,” she whispered, her hand moving to cradle his face when a sickening crack was heard and he crumpled at her feet.
Behind him, looking proud of himself, Sidney was still holding a pan aloft like he thought Killian might jump to his feet and demand a second round. Fear flooded her and she dropped to her knees to cradle his head in her lap. Helplessness, her hands fluttered over his body, her mind trying to sort out the impossible situation that was entirely her fault. “Why the hell did you do that?”
“He looked homicidal.”
Shaking him gently, she begged, “Killian…Killian, come back to me. Don’t leave me here alone.”
“You aren’t alone, sweetheart,” Lance promised, trying to move her away.
She swatted at his hands and refused to leave. The movement caused Killian’s head to lull to the side, and she saw a smear of red dripping from his hairline. “Someone call 911. He’s bleeding!”
Sidney glanced down at them with a mildly alarmed look and then at the weapon he still held. He ran his finger across the bottom and, with some relief, announced, “That’s not blood. It’s raspberry compote.”
Arthur’s personal physician made a house call to attend to the victim. Of course, the woman knew Killian Jones, MD, who was apparently the Director of Pediatric Oncology at Storybrooke General and one of the foremost experts in his field.
He was a saint in addition to being her Captain.
He deserved so much more than a lost girl who was too scared to know a good thing when it stopped on the side of the road to save her.
“This couldn’t have worked out better, my dear,” Arthur commented with an eyebrow wiggle. “Lance is beside himself. He just announced he plans to hire a divorce attorney this very afternoon. Run along. I’ll make sure the good doctor makes it back to town safely. I’ll even throw a couple thousand his way for his performance.”
“Shut up, Arthur. This is terrible. An innocent man got hurt, and it’s all our fault. My fault,” she corrected with a whisper, running her hand softly through Killian’s hair. He regained consciousness as the doctor checked him out but fell asleep while she assured them no permanent damage was done. Replacing the ice pack against the goose egg forming on the side of his head, she silently pleaded with him to wake up so she could grovel properly and beg for forgiveness.
“He seems quite taken with you.”
“Maybe he’s crazy after all,” she joked, but her heart wasn’t really in it. She doubted she would find anything funny until she saw his electric blue eyes again. “Can you leave us alone? I want to be able to explain when he comes to.”
“Of course, just call if you need anything.” He gave her a probing stare as if trying to decide whether to say something else before he left.
When she heard the door click shut, she leaned over and brushed a soft kiss across his lips. “I’m sorry. For running. For lying. For putting you in a situation where you got knocked out. I know that’s not nearly enough, but I am.”
“It’s a start,” he groaned as her hushed tone drew him from sleep, one hand moving to cover hers where it held the ice to his head and the other reaching out to play with the ends of her hair. “What happened?”
“I happened. This is why we don’t work, Captain. I’ve brought you nothing but pain and suffering since the moment we met.”
“I didn’t figure you for the melodramatic type, Swan. We had some good times before this farce began,” he reminded her as he shifted into more of a sitting position. “Are you ready to admit there’s something between us, or do I need to jump back into the fray and take a punch bowl to the face?”
“I never denied there was something between us, just that it was a good idea. I believe a raspberry-flavored concussion proves my point perfectly.”
His hand drifted to her cheek, calloused fingers glancing over soft skin. She wanted to look away from his intense gaze, but he tenderly grabbed her chin and held her in place. “Love, come away with me. It doesn’t have to be forever; we can sort that part out later. I’m simply asking for your company now, to give us a chance before you decide against it.”
“I want to, Captain. I want the carrot and everything else behind Door Number One,” she murmured with a watery chuckle. His gentle caresses grew hotter and more insistent. Finally he pulled her to him, her body half-covering his, as he claimed her mouth in the kind of scorching kiss that would burn through her memory forever.
She had nothing to offer him, and she had a long way to go before she would be worthy of this kind of love. Unconditional. All-encompassing. The kind she didn’t even know existed until he rescued her.
“I sense a but coming…”
“But—“
With a sad smile, he interrupted her. “On second thought, don’t. Please. I can’t bear to hear you say the words. To watch you run one more time. Let’s call it a day now so we can remember it fondly in the years to come.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not as sorry as I am.” He tapped her nose lightly with his fingertip, observing the tears in her eyes as she fought to keep them from falling. Giving her a bittersweet grimace, he added, “Just promise you’ll take care of yourself, Swan. No more skipping meals. No more pretending to be anyone other than the amazing woman you are.”
The tears that were a threat until then slipped past her defenses, leaving trails down her face. He swiped at them and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
Then he was gone.
Arthur found her later in the exact same place, not having the energy to move. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug. “This is the last time you’ll ever have to live this day, my dear.”
She knew he was trying to make her feel better, but the knowledge he was wrong caused her to feel light-headed as she turned into his embrace. She would never have to say goodbye to Killian again, but she knew she would relive it over and over until the day she died.
He approached her on the shoreline as she watched the blue waters of the Atlantic crash against the rocky beach forming one side of Arthur’s estate. Heat lightning flashed in the distance; the far-off storm robbed of its noise and violence when viewed from the calm of land. Emma knew it was only a matter of time until he sought her out. He was a smart man, a gambler and a rogue, so why not press his advantage?
“You disappeared on me after the baron left.” Lance never referred to him as her husband, always ‘the baron.’ She wasn’t sure if it was his way of skirting the immorality of his pursuit or simply to rob the other man of any claim on her, but it was starting to piss her off. Which was silly considering he wasn’t really her husband. Or a baron.
“He told me he was filing for divorce on his way out. That he hoped you found happiness but had come to realize it wasn’t going to be with him.”
She had yet to look at Lance, but she felt her heart break a little at the scene he painted. It was just like the Captain to try to help her all the way to the bitter end. She supposed he simply couldn’t stop himself. Breathing in the warm salty air, she wanted to let it fill her lungs and sweep out the misery that had taken hold in the core of her.
She was an idiot. She had let someone who had never loved her, never really even cared about her, twist her into someone who would do the same thing to a man who was perfect in every way. If she hadn’t already sworn to get even with Neal Cassidy, this would have driven her to it.
She was damaged now, unfit for human company, clinging to a sham because it was easier than facing the fact she made the biggest mistake of her life. Only this time, there was no boogeyman in the form of a cheating, lying ex to blame. She did this to herself.
But she didn’t have to double down on it.
With a deep sigh, Lance dropped on the sand next to her. He was more casual than she had ever seen him, and somehow it made him more approachable. Barefoot and with his pants legs were rolled up to mid-calf in a nod to the tide, he observed, “He was wrong, wasn’t he? You still love him.”
“Yes,” she admitted, staring at the horizon.
“And you aren’t a baroness…”
“No,” she confirmed, this time chancing a sidelong glance at him. “Everything he said was true. I’ve been here under false pretenses.”
“To come between Guin and me. It has the smell of an Arthur scheme all over it,” he explained with a wry grin. “Well, I can’t say I didn’t deserve it. I never intended for it to go this far, but once it started, we kept getting deeper and deeper until I couldn’t see a way out. And then I didn’t want to. I love her, I probably always will, but she’s not mine. You helped me realize that. A gorgeous wake-up call designed to turn my head and steal my heart. Losing you is my penance. One I can’t regret because I have a feeling you saved several lives by playing along.”
“You’ll be back in the saddle again soon, I’m sure, and the women of the world will be better for it. Do yourself a favor next time, though. Choose an available woman, and once you find her, don’t let her go. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“Pick up where I left off, I suppose. I have some debts that still need to be paid and a fugitive to bring to justice. Maybe if I keep busy enough, keep moving, this will all fade and seem like some fever-induced dream.”
“I meant, what are you going to do about Jones?”
“I think I’ve done enough already. The best thing I can do for Killian now is to stay away.”
“For someone so smart about other people, you have a rather glaring blind spot when it comes to your own life. A mistake is only a mistake if you keep making it. You know where to find him, you know he wants you to, the only thing stopping you is fear.”
“Fear is enough, Lance.”
“You know what fear has gotten me: Absolutely nothing. I was afraid to put myself out there, so I only got involved with women who I knew would leave me before the whole thing even started. It’s hard to mourn the loss of a relationship that never stood a chance to begin with. It cost me my best friend and two women I care about. You’re better than that, Emma, and doesn’t he deserve the best version of you? But more importantly, don’t you?”
@teamhook @kmomof4 @jrob64 @stahlop @motherkatereloyshipper @xarandomdreamx @xsajx @klynn-stormz
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