#Nat is cool and nice too

[27spoons]

yapping yapping to you dudeeee. have you seen how nat treated mari's brat ass (and some of shauna's, too)? i was like: panties? where? *inserts that meme of an emoji with a dangling lingerie* like, the way her care and natural protective instincts kick in, even though others might give two fucks about her 😭😭 my baby, come here, i'll take care of youuuuu imagining a brat!reader making nat's days a living hell, but she can't possibly lash out, so she puts reader into a time-out (house arrest tf), or even brings them their portion of the food into their hut, ending up in nat "teaching reader" how to behave 😇 yuk, an innocent lesson

what if i said i wanted to be put in my place. what then. what if i said i need to piss nat off until she snaps at me, realises that i liked it, and then does it again?

nsfw blurb / smut / gn!afab!reader / porn w some plot / self-indulgent / not proofread we die like the cabin at the end of s2/ wc: 1260

natalie stands outside your shelter, the fresh scent of damp earth and cool spring air brushing past. the spring out here is deceptive—warmer than the cruel winter was but still bitter in the mornings and evenings. the soft hum of insects punctuate the silence that settles in the dim light of the evening.

inside, you restlessly lay on your makeshift bedroll, leg bouncing as you trace the light strips that filter through the gaps in your structure with your eyes. when she finally steps in—carrying a wooden bowl of stew—you glance up with a cocky grin that you already know nat will not like.

"well, well." you drawl, sitting up. "The Queen herself. To what do I owe the pleasure on this fine evening?"

nat doesn't bite. she places the bowl on the tree stump in front of you unceremoniously. "dinner," she says simply, straightening and crossing her arms.

"wow, room service?" you let out a low whistle, leaning back and lacing your fingers behind your head. "i gotta say, i'm kinda liking this whole 'house arrest' thing, you know? the perks are nice." a beat, "actually, is it too much to ask, or could i get some dessert?"

her jaw clenches, but she manages to keep her voice in check. "you seriously think this is funny?"

"i mean... yeah." you shrug. "let's be real, nat. you're supposed to be running this place or whatever, but here you are, babysitting me." you groan and sit back up, "doesn't really scream..." a beat as you feign thought, "fearsome leader, you know?"

nat's eyes narrow, and you swear you can feel the frustration radiating off of her. the distant sounds of the wilderness around you seems to grow at the sudden tension, filling the space between you two. "you really wanna test how far i'll go?"

your grin falters slightly, but you can't deny the subtle rush that builds inside of you at the way her voice lowers. "what are you gonna do? give me another stern talking-to?"

she steps closer, her worn combat boots crunching against the forest floor. she leans down just enough to meet your gaze, her voice shifting to that tone she knows gets you weak. “no. talking doesn’t seem to work with you.”

before you can fire back a retort, she's grabbing your jaw with her right hand and squeezing. "you aren't leaving this hut until i say so, and honestly?" her voice lowers further, "i don't think you deserve to leave after all this shit you've pulled, do you?"

you stare up at her, unsure if you're supposed to be feeling afraid, aroused, or both."uh…" you blink a few times, "wow, nat. you really got the whole… 'scary leader' thing down. i'm shaking in my boots."

a scoff leaves her lips, but she doesn't visibly react further to your sarcasm. "you can joke all you want, yeah? but we both know you'll listen to what i say. because if you don't…" her eyes flash down to your lips for a moment, "well, they don't last very long."

your stomach twists, but not because you're scared. well, maybe a little. but mostly? well, mostly you're just aroused.

and nat knows, if the way she smirks is any indication. "yeah. you know that, don't you?" her voice carries a teasing lilt that does unpleasant (but not unwelcome) things to your insides. "all you really want is to be put in your place." she grips your jaw a little tighter, "open your mouth more."

you do. your lips part on command, and you're rewarded with nat spitting into your mouth slowly. "close. don't swallow." you do as she asks, of course. there's no way she doesn't know you're ruining your underwear right about now. 

you swear you haven't taken a breath in a million years as she looks down at you, eyes sharp and calculating. "good. swallow." you comply, maintaining eye contact, then open your mouth to show her that you listen.

nat grins. "look at you. you can listen." 

she gives you a firm shove back onto your bedroll and follows you down. "but i think i still need to prove my point." 

one of her hands slides underneath the waistband to your pants without hesitation, and it takes everything in her to not make a sound of satisfaction at how wet you are already. "jesus. already?" she manages, the words almost coming out in a whine and breaking this facade of control. "you're fucking soaked."

"can't help it." you reply immediately, already feeling the fight in you leave the second she gets her hands on you, "it's you. you do this to me." you're already clenching around nothing, staring up at nat's form over your body with an expression of pure want. "please."

the girl almost scoffs at how quick you get to begging, considering it usually takes far longer to break you down. "damn. that was fast. you a little desperate?"

"fuck you—" you try and start, but your protests are quickly cut off with a sudden push of her forefinger into your cunt. "oh—"

"that's what i thought." she grins, starting to move her finger without giving you time to get used to the intrusion. "all talk and no game, yeah? not so big once someone actually starts taking charge."

your fingers dig into the soil around your bedroll, knowing better than to grab onto her right now. "that's not fair—"

another finger. "nothing is fucking fair." she bites, leaning down closer to your face, "we're trapped in the middle of goddamn nowhere, and you're talking to me about fair?" a harsh scoff leaves her lips as she begins pumping her fingers faster, "life isn't fucking fair."

you'd make a smart reply to that if you could, but it's sort of hard to do when her fingers are ruthlessly fucking in and out of you, your wetness soaking into the fabric of your underwear. "already so worked up." she tsks, "bet i could give you a third finger right now and you'd—" 

she does.

three fingers deep, fingers curling in and out of your pussy with a passion that only nat can possess, you groan and throw your head back. 

nat slaps her free hand over your mouth with a hiss, "jesus! do you want them to hear what's going on in here?" her fingers never cease in their actions as her gaze flicks to the entrance for a moment, watching to make sure no one is about to walk in on you two. "shit, i would never hear the end of this…" she murmurs before returning her gaze to you, hardening it slightly. "should have known you wouldn't be able to keep quiet." 

she grinds her palm against your clit with every crook of her fingers, and you can barely keep your eyes open at the harsh movements she fucks you with—pain and pleasure blurring together somewhere along the way. 

her breath ghosts over your ear as she leans down, and you can feel her smirk. "you're gonna come for me, and when you do, it's gonna happen again." you whine, and she chuckles lowly in response. "and again. until i fucking decide that you've finally understood how to listen to fucking orders."you stare up at her with wide eyes when she pulls her face back slightly, and nat's grin only widens further. "and we both know you have a hard time following orders." her fingers find that one spot, and you swear you see stars—"so i think it's gonna be a long night."

[traveler-at-heart]

An odd pair

Nerdy!Nat x F!R - AU set in college. Natasha is a junior, R is a sophomore.

Summary: Natasha is perfectly fine with her lonely college life, until she gets a new roommate that comes with her own group of friends.

A/N: Very special thanks to @jujuu23, @jedi-luca, @caitviers, @ys4b31l4 and @littlegaybutterflysblog for reading this and giving me their feedback. I wasn't sure about posting, but their kind comments encouraged me to share this. This is the first chapter, let's see how long it takes for them to get together ;)

New year, new me.

That’s what most people would say. Even if it wasn’t a new year, just a new semester; Natasha had noticed her peers and their need to reinvent themselves. Promises to be better, more (attractive, fun, desirable), date, go to parties, be one of the cool kids.

None of them had any desire to actually be better at school stuff, which is why she never got along with her peers. And either way, Natasha wasn’t looking to make any changes to her life. Everything was perfectly functional.

Her schedule, her privacy, her dorm. She had managed to find one all to herself, as most students were looking for something closer to campus. This building was the farthest one, and most people who lived here were a semester or two away from graduation, too tired to keep up with the expectations.

Unfortunately for Natasha, something is different as she walks in the dorm.

“What..?” she says, looking around.

No, this is a mistake. She was supposed to have it all to herself, even if the dorm was for two people.

There are boxes. And dishes. Makeup and cleaning products in the bathroom.

Worst of all.

Music.

Very loud music.

“Do you believe in magic?” a girl with auburn hair sings as she walks out of the room, carrying some clothes. Natasha is about to ask what’s going on when the other girl looks up. “You lost?”

“This is my place” Natasha says, trying to not sound annoyed.

“Oh, so we’re roommates!” the girl’s demeanor immediately changes. “Hi, I’m Wanda”

“Natasha. Are you sure you got the right address? This building is so far away from the main campus…”

“Yeah, I know. It’s all my idiot brother’s fault” Wanda says, rolling her eyes as she walks to the kitchen. “We were living in a place outside of campus but he dropped out of college to start his business. Made the last minute call and I can’t afford the place myself. This is the only thing the accommodation office had available”

Natasha’s trying to pay attention, but Wanda’s examining the drawers, moving things around. It makes Natasha uneasy.

She has a system. She doesn’t like it when someone else messes with her stuff.

Wanda keeps talking about the cabinets, how to split the space in the fridge. Cleaning duties, toilet paper…

It makes Natasha’s head spin.

New semester. And apparently a new roommate.

—

You should have known she was full of shit.

Ten minute walk my ass.

It took twice to get to Wanda’s new place. If she had just listened to you, she wouldn’t have to settle for whatever it is the accommodation office threw at her.

Either way, you knock while texting, waiting for her to talk your ear off about how the place isn’t that bad and she loves it (again, you call bullshit).

“Nice place, was the spot under the bridge taken?” you say as soon as the door opens, still looking at your phone.

At the silence, you raise your eyes and meet green eyes. These are different than Wanda’s. They have a certain warmth, but also an irritation that almost makes you falter.

“Can I help you?”

“Uh, maybe I have the wrong place. I’m looking for Wanda” you check the number outside the door.

“She lives here” the girl says, almost sounding annoyed. “I think she's out"

Natasha’s almost certain that Wanda’s not here because when she is, there’s always a sitcom playing in the background while she does the rest of her stuff. How the hell will she deal with all the noise?

Like clockwork, you get a text from Wanda. She went out grocery shopping because she was starving and promises she’ll be home in ten minutes.

So twenty.

“Can I wait for her inside?” you ask with a defeated sigh.

“Are you a friend or something?”

“No. I’m actually her parole officer”

“What?”

“Shit!” you laugh at the girl’s expression. “I’m sorry, I’m joking. Yes, she’s my friend, since middle school”

“Oh”

There’s something about the girl’s demeanor that makes you want to get a rise out of her. So you lean on the door, biting your lip.

“Can I come in now? Or do I have to ask pretty please?”

“Sorry, yeah” she stutters at the flirty look you give her, walking away from the door. As you get inside, looking around the place, Natasha begins to pick up her things to go to her room. “I’ll just be out of your way”

“No, this is your place, I’ll stay in her room”

“It’s fine…”

“Or… we could just share the couch?” you smile, walking slowly as she keeps gathering her notebooks. “Sorry, I didn’t get your name”

“Natasha”

“Natasha” you repeat, nodding. “That’s beautiful”

“T-thank you” Natasha blushes, struggling with the papers on the coffee table.

You approach her slowly, reading over her shoulder.

“Interesting”

“Hey!”

She looks over at you, not realising how close you actually are up until now, and you smile at her with a shit eating grin.

“Ok, I’m sitting down now. You a freshman?” you ask, following her with your eyes as she finally gets all the papers where she was writing.

“Junior”

“Oh, really? How come I’ve never seen you around?”

Not like you’re the most popular kid in school, and it’s a big college, but Natasha stands out to you with her beauty, and you would have definitely remember seeing her around campus.

“I’m mostly at the library. Or home” Natasha says, hovering over the space next to you. You’re smiling up at her, in a way that makes it very clear you’re not stopping the conversation anytime soon.

It would be rude to just leave.

With a defeated sigh, she sits down next to you, looking at her hands.

“What’s your major?”

“Biochemistry”

“Oh, yeah, then we are definitely in different parts of campus all the time. I’m a History major and Wanda’s in Psychology”

“Cool. That’s interesting”

“No parties in Biochemistry?”

“Not that many. And I’m not interested either” Natasha looks at her hands. She’s expecting a joke at her expense, or a comment on how boring that sounds, but all you do is lean your head against the couch and sigh.

“Honestly, I promised myself I wouldn’t go to many parties this semester but I’m not sure now. You don’t have to worry about parties here though. Wanda never does that”

“Right” Natasha says, blushing again as she realises you got to read some of the stuff she wrote.

A list of things that could potentially go wrong with a roommate, variables to consider, rules, schedules.

“Honestly, Wanda is a good roommate. Her brother was the one that’s a bit of a mess. And she cooks so much food all the time, you’ll always have something to eat”

“That doesn’t sound so bad”

“She just brings over boys and they get sooo loud”

“Really?” Natasha turns red and you place your hand over your mouth to keep from laughing. “Hey, not funny”

“A little bit. Sorry, it’s just… very easy to tease you” you say with a smile.

It makes Natasha look away as she plays with her hands.

You like how she blushes a little too much.

When she looks at you with those beautiful green eyes, you’re about to ask something else when Wanda walks in, carrying five bags of groceries.

“I’m making paprikash tonight!” she announces with a smile.

“Stark’s party is tonight” you say.

“I’m making paprikash tomorrow!” she corrects, placing stuff in the fridge. “You like it, right, Nat?”

“Never had it”

“Oh, you’ll love it” Wanda says like an overbearing mother. You roll your eyes, looking at Natasha with an amused expression as Wanda keeps stuffing the fridge with food. Walking up to her, you inspect her work over her shoulder.

“Leave space for your roommate, Maximoff”

“Right. Sorry. There. I can fit everything in this little shelf right here”

“Ok, then get ready, we have to meet with Darcy and then we’ll go to the party” you follow her around, knowing it’s the only way to make sure you leave on time.

Natasha stays rooted to the couch, looking at her hands as she tries not to think of how she actually wanted to keep talking to you. You probably don’t even remember she exists.

“Sure, help me pick an outfit?” Wanda says, starting an episode of I Love Lucy at full volume.

“Don’t be loud. You know Pietro was used to it, because he had to listen to you since you shared a womb”

“Fine, I’ll play some music instead” she sighs. “You’re being so annoying today”

“Yeah, you made me walk twenty minutes out of main campus. And pack a bag, I’m definitely not walking you all the way here after the party, you’re staying with us”

Wanda keeps chatting and trying on clothes, but your attention turns to Natasha. Just like that, you made sure Wanda’s aware of the noise she makes around her new roommate, and you also gave Natasha a much needed break for the rest of the evening, because you could tell she was overwhelmed.

When Natasha finally looks up, her shoulders visibly relaxing, you wink at her, and enjoy how she blushes once again.

—

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, Natasha and you cross paths. It’s always when you’re visiting Wanda, because true to her word, Natasha only leaves her dorm for classes and the weekend trip to the library.

Natasha’s fully convinced that Wanda’s been keeping the volume of her music and tv shows down because you nag her about it, which she appreciates.

Except she doesn’t understand why you do it. Every time you’re over at the dorm, you go out of your way to make small talk with Natasha. You ask about classes, anything she’s got going on beside that. She wasn’t expecting this kind of friendliness, and she also doesn’t know how to respond to it. A big part of Natasha is convinced you’re doing it out of pity, because it’s so obvious she has no friends. Not that you ever run into each other outside of the dorm, but she’d not expect for you to reach out to her or acknowledge her presence.

Which is why she’s so taken aback when she’s walking to the library one afternoon and hears someone calling her name.

She’d recognise the sweet timber of your voice anywhere. She also tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach as you approach her.

“Hey, Nat! First time seeing you outside of the dorm” you smile at her. The redhead adjusts her backpack, pushing her glasses up her nose. “You look… uh, nice glasses”

You were about to say cute, but changed your mind at the last minute.

Coward.

“I need a book for my Organic Chem class and apparently they only have it at Foster Library”

“Well, it’s a nice day out for a walk, isn’t it? Mind if I join you?”

Natasha opens her mouth, refraining from asking why. She has no idea what to say to you or how to make small talk, but you’re smiling at her as if the idea of a walk together would make your whole day. So, she just nods and resumes her journey.

“I have to go to my Imperial Russia class but that’s not for another half hour” you say, walking next to her. “What about you?”

“I’m done for the day. But I do have a lot of assignments” she sighs, looking at you out of the corner of her eye.

“Same, might have to skip partying for the weekend”

“So, Imperial Russia?”

“I think it’s fascinating. Well, all history, really, it has been a nightmare to choose my courses. I wanna go to every single class”

“My sister got obsessed with the idea that she was a lost Romanov princess” Natasha says, smiling and relaxing at the memory. “I think we all had to sit through Anastasia at least once a week”

“Oh, that’s cute. Does she look like Anastasia or something?” you say, a little confused.

“Oh, no… we are from Russia. And our family name is Romanoff” she clarifies, blushing. You laugh at that, holding on to her arm and leaning forward.

“That seems like a very big coincidence. Are you sure you’re not remotely related to them?” you tease.

“Very” she clears her throat, trying to calm her racing heart at your sudden proximity.

Luckily for her, you wait outside while she gets the books she needs for class. Natasha was expecting you to use the library as an excuse to keep walking to class, but you insist on waiting for her.

Is she supposed to walk you to class? It would mean going out of her way, while you were just going along her path as it was convenient for you. Deciding it would be weird to follow you around campus, Natasha is ready to say goodbye, but you’re waiting by the entrance, two disposable cups in hand.

“Chocolate or coffee?” you say. You had no idea what she liked, so you got two different things.

“Whichever is fine” she hurries to say, taking a cup from your hand. Her blush only increases when your fingers graze against hers, and you smile.

Natasha tries not to grimace at the bitter taste of coffee. She would have prefered something sweeter, but she’ll never say it. It’s bad enough you went through the trouble of getting her something.

“I’ll walk you to class” she decides, surprising even herself.

“Really? You don’t have to. I know you’ll have to walk back home”

“It’s ok” she says, though her heart and stomach are telling a different story. You nod appreciatively, and walk by her side to Pullman Hall, where most of your classes take place.

“Do you speak any Russian?” you ask, suddenly shy.

“Yeah, Mom made sure we learned it. Though sometimes I wish I didn’t understand the conversations she has with dad”

“Wow” you laugh at that, and that makes Natasha smile. She likes to be the reason you’re happy.

Whatever that means.

“I was asking because sometimes I just feel like I’m not entirely getting something in class, like it gets lost in translation, you know?”

“Yeah, I can imagine”

Natasha had to struggle with living with a father that couldn’t really grasp everything in the English language, while she and her sister were basically native speakers. Most of the time, it was harmless misunderstandings.

“So, if you’re ever free, and I’m struggling with something, would you be able to help me?” you say. Natasha misses the way you blush, too busy hiding her own.

“Yeah, of course”

“I can pay you. Or we could go out for dinner. A movie. Whatever you want”

Natasha is about to answer, when you hear someone call for you. Darcy, your roommate and friend, is fast approaching, but she has a murderous glare.

“You finished the orange juice and didn’t get more” she whisper yells, not even acknowledging Natasha’s presence.

“It was about to expire. I may have saved your life.” you try to joke.

“Don’t be a smartass. You’re paying for pizza next movie night. See you at home”

“Yeah, yeah” you roll your eyes. Natasha plays with the strap of her backpack and you have to control the urge of reaching out to hold her hand. “I should get to class. Thanks for walking me”

“Thanks for the coffee. See you around”

“Definitely” you nod, smiling as she adjusts her glasses again.

Maybe you’ll stop by to visit Wanda, even if you’re slammed with work.

—

It’s been two days since Natasha saw you at campus, and her mind keeps going back to those minutes she spent with you.

What a weird feeling, to crave someone’s presence. She wanted the walk to last longer, or at the very least, that she had a way to find you again and keep talking.

She’s lonely, that’s it. You’ve been kind enough to pay attention and that’s why she feels this way.

The only problem is, Natasha really is up to her ears in essays and assignments, and it’s been a real struggle to focus on something other than the way your eyes light up when she says something funny.

She finally gives up, pushing away the book she’s trying to read.

And then you walk inside, frantically calling for your friend.

“Wanda? Where are you?”

Natasha jumps out of her chair, leaving her room in a hurry. It isn’t like you to just barge in, and you sound upset.

“Hey” she says, leaning against the doorframe. You jump, turning around with your hand over your chest. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”

“Nat! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let myself in, but I…” you avoid her eyes, looking at your feet instead.

“Wanda’s out. What’s wrong?” she finally walks into the living room, concerned.

“It’s stupid. You have work to do. I should leave” you hurry to say, cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“It can’t be stupid if it’s bothering you. Come on”

Natasha should let you go, promise to tell Wanda that you stopped by. But as soon as you finally look at her, she spots the unshed tears clouding your vision.

Wordlessly, she leads you to the kitchen and you sit down, playing with your hands and wiping away the tears that are starting to fall.

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?” she says after handing you a glass of water. The way she looks at you makes you calm down, your shoulders visibly relaxing as she smiles.

“I cry when I’m angry. So these are angry tears, basically. I hate it” you tilt your head back, wiping your eyes carefully, though you’re sure your eyeliner is completely ruined now.

“Who upset you?”

“It’s stupid, really” you insist, imagining what Natasha will think once you explain. But you’re here now and it feels even more idiotic to pretend like nothing’s wrong. “I was, uh, seeing this girl last semester. Carol Danvers”

“Oh”

Natasha knows who she is. Danvers is a senior, star player of the lacrosse team. Though she's also known as another kind of player, always at parties looking for girls to hook up with.

“Yeah, it was just not official because I’m sure you know she likes to fuck anything with a pulse” you try to laugh but it comes out as a sob. Clearing your throat, you place strands of hair behind your ears, hoping you don’t look as bad as you feel. “And then this summer I was just a desperate idiot, texting her. Carol barely replied and I figured she might be busy”

“I’m guessing that wasn’t why she didn’t text back” Natasha says, leaning against the kitchen island.

“No, I just ran into her at the dining hall, and she was all over her ex, Maria Rambeau. I’m gonna kill her” your mood shifts suddenly. “I just feel like an idiot and I hate it. All she had to do was put on her big girl pants and tell me she wasn’t interested anymore. Instead I made a fool of myself”

Natasha feels cornered, your sudden fit of rage scaring her a little. She wouldn’t dream of making you upset if this is what you look like when it happens.

But it’s also kind of cute.

“See? You think it’s stupid” you sigh, noticing her smile. Natasha is quick to shake her head, cursing herself.

She can’t say she was smiling because she thinks you’re cute.

“No, it’s not stupid at all. I’m just not good at this sort of thing…”

You’re about to joke, tell her she’s done more than she should considering you just walked in her dorm while she’s slammed with work.

Except Wanda decides to finally show up. You turn around, unaware that Natasha’s eyes are glued to you.

“Hey… what… did you do something to her?” Wanda’s demeanor goes from confused to complete rage. You realise she’s asking Natasha if she’s the reason you’re crying.

“Wow, now hold on. She was helping me” you raise your hands, leaning on Natasha’s side for a second to assure her Wanda won’t bite her head off. “If you wanna take it up with someone, it’s Danvers”

“Ugh, I knew it. She’s going to pay” Wanda stomps to her room, and you sigh, turning to Natasha.

“I gotta make sure she’s not plotting Carol’s disappearance. Thank you for… listening to me”

“Anytime” she promises, nodding as you smile one last time before following your friend to her room.

Natasha can hear your voices, even if Wanda closed her door to give you some privacy. It isn’t the noise that distracts her. It’s about the fact you dated one of the most popular girls in school.

Of course, that’s someone fit for you. Natasha couldn’t compete with that.

At least now she knows the truth, and can go back to focusing on her studies. Maybe you’ll find someone else, and won’t have time to see Wanda anymore. Maybe, that’s the only way Natasha will stop thinking about you.

But the thought of someone else with you twists her stomach into a knot.

—

Morning light filters through the kitchen window, and you sing along to an Elton John song as you flip another pancake.

“Whatever gets you through the night” you hum. Turns out, what got you through your embarrassing predicament was a big party and a large amount of alcohol. But now, you really gotta focus on your work or you’ll fall behind.

Thinking about all the articles you have to read, and all the essays to draft, you miss Natasha’s footsteps as she leaves her room.

“Sorry, was the music too…?” you turn around, aware that it’s early morning on a Saturday.

Your mind stops working when you look at Natasha, wearing a white tank top and grey sweatpants. Her arms are surprisingly toned and you can’t help but stare.

Say something.

But she’s also staring at you with an indecipherable look.

“Nice shirt” she finally comments. “Looks good on you”

“It’s yours, isn’t it?” you realise a moment later. Of course. You found it in the bathroom and just assumed it was Wanda's. “I’ll go get changed, sorry”

“No” Natasha immediately blocks your path, her bravado disappearing as soon as you look up at her, expectantly. “Keep it. Looks good”

“Oh. Thanks” you say, taking a step back. “Want breakfast? Wanda already left, she had a group project to finish”

“Sure” Natasha nods, and you go back to making pancakes. There’s silence as you prepare the food, only realising Natasha’s closer when she leans forward, trapping you between her body and the kitchen island.

“Sorry, I wanted a mug” she apologizes, her hand on your hip. All you can do is nod, heat creeping up your cheeks at her proximity.

“Thank you for yesterday” you say looking over your shoulder, your voice small.

“You feeling better?”

“Less like an idiot” you say with a smile.

You honestly couldn’t care less about Carol. It was about the attention and she was a good fuck, but deep down, you knew she’d never be one to committ.

“You’re not that. Danvers was the only one at fault”

“I mean, yeah. I guess I gotta start thinking before getting in bed with a fuckgirl, huh?”

“Right” Natasha stutters, pouring some milk and looking away.

“No coffee?”

“I prefer sweet stuff” she admits, sitting down with a plate full of pancakes.

“You took the coffee I ordered the other day and didn’t say a word” you complain.

“But you went through all that trouble and it would have been rude” Natasha shrugs her shoulders, avoiding your eyes.

You eat in silence for a few minutes, stealing glances here and there. Natasha’s phone pings a couple of times, and you’re dying to know who it is, especially when she snorts at one of the messages she gets.

“Do you like games?” you say out of the blue.

“Like videogames?”

“More like board games” you say, trying to sound casual.

“Oh, I love Settlers of Catan” Natasha nods, and you want to slam your head against the table. Of course, she’s a genius and likes those games that you never understand.

“That sounds fun, yeah. I meant Uno or Jenga. Ya know, things that are easier”

She probably thinks you’re stupid.

Uno? Really?

“Right. That’s cool too. Why do you ask?” she says, smiling. The way she looks at you makes you relax, and you put your fork down. You were done eating anyway.

“We have game night every other week. Basically, when we have too much work to actually go out and party, but still wanna decompress or just hangout. Maybe you’d wanna join us sometime?”

“Sounds fun” she nods, but that’s not a yes or no. Would it be too pushy if you ask her tonight?

Then, her phone pings again and your mouth is faster than your brain.

“Gimme your phone”

“W-what?” Natasha’s hand stops midair, and you’re sure she’d be fidgeting with her glasses if she had them on.

“I mean… I could give you my phone number. And if you decide to come, just text me”

“Oh, sure” Natasha says, unlocking the device and passing it on. She smiles, taking your plate and going to wash the dishes.

“I’ll do that”

“You made breakfast. It’s the least I could do” she says, and you smile, going back to save your phone number.

“Someone’s calling you”

Someone saved as Yel.

“Sorry, I have to take this” she says, hurrying back to her room. Just like that, Natasha’s gone and you’re alone in the kitchen.

Are you seriously going to fall for Wanda’s roommate? The girl who is not interested in socializing and definitely not interested in you?

You look down at the shirt you’re wearing, remembering it’s hers. As you notice how big it is on you, it reminds you of Natasha in a tank top, and you blush.

Yes, you’re definitely falling for Natasha.

And you’re not giving the shirt back.

—

It’s been a week.

After two days of obssesively checking your phone, Wanda made you confess what had happened.

When it became clear Natasha was so not interested, you avoided the dorm at all costs. Until Wanda practically dragged you to her place next Saturday.

“Close the door” you hiss as soon as you walk into her room, hoping Natasha isn’t home.

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Wanda says, rolling her eyes.

Instead of answering, you plop down in her bed, arm above your eyes.

“Ok, I gave her my phone number, told her to text me. While wearing her t-shirt and making her pancakes. The ball could not be more in her court”

“Does she even know there’s a ball?” Wanda laughs, which makes you look up.

“What do you mean?”

“Weren’t you crying about Carol the day before? Maybe she thinks you’re looking for a rebound” Wanda shrugs her shoulders, doing her makeup. She’s going back to too much eyeliner.

“Shit. You think so?”

It wasn’t like you said you were in love with Carol - which, you weren’t-. You just mentioned being casually seeing her and being pissed about her gaslighting.

“But there’s also the girl that was texting her” you say, thinking about the mysterious Yel.

“Well, I’ve never seen anyone visiting her. And she’s always in her room”

“Internet girlfriend?” you guess. “Long distance, maybe”

“Or caftfishing. Nat strikes me as one to be naive enough” Wanda says with a smirk.

“Don’t be mean” you nudge her with your foot and she pinches your calf. “Bitch”

“Whiny lesbian. Just ask her out properly”

“I don’t wanna seem desperate. What?” you say when Wanda coughs to hide her laughter.

“All week, you’ve been staring at your phone like a maniac. You are desperate”

Wanda keeps doing her make up, the music blasting a little louder than normal, but this time you don’t say anything about it. Maybe Natasha will ask her to turn it down and will see you and then you’ll get talking…

Ugh.

It’s like your best friend can read your mind, laughing when you place one of her pillows over your head and all but scream into it.

“Come here, I’ll do your makeup” Wanda says, and you pout.

“I already did it. Do I look that bad?”

“You need more eyeliner and your lipstick is just gone”

With another sigh, you lean against her headrest, and she straddles your lap.

“Do you remember when my mom walked in on us just like this?” she laughs and you pinch her side.

“And she gave you the talk about how it’s ok to be gay”

You both laugh at that, and a moment later Wanda’s done with the makeup.

“You look hot. So go and ask her out”

“What if…”

“Just go” Wanda pushes you out the door, her bag swaying with the movement. You’re startled by how she slaps your ass, the sound making Natasha look up from her spot in the kitchen island.

Her smile is shy, but it’s there, and she doesn’t run away the minute you’re in the same room like she used to do.

“Going to a party?”

“Yeah, we…” you turn to look at Wanda, who is pretending to fix her hair in the living room mirror. “Would you like to come with us? It could be fun”

“Thanks, but I’m going to meet some of Yelena’s friends” she rolls her eyes.

Yelena. As in the girl who texts her and makes Natasha smile and laugh.

“Oh. Well, have fun”

“You too” she nods, but all you want to do is go back to your room and hide under the covers for the rest of the night.

“Let’s go” Wanda says, pulling you by the arm without sparing a glance towards Natasha. “Come on, you tried. It’s no big deal. Let’s get drunk”

You think about all the essays you have to write, the fact you’re behind on some of your readings… and then you remember the way Natasha smiles at her phone when that Yelena girl texts her.

“Yeah, let’s get wasted”

—

It’s a rare thing, for Natasha to be going out to a place that isn’t campus or the grocery store. But her sister came to visit and she’s been nagging her about meeting her friends.

Natasha suspects one of them is more than a friend, and that is why Yelena wants her to meet them.

By the time she reaches the bar, Yelena and her group of friends are already sitting at a big table. The blonde is laughing with a guy with short hair, and Natasha takes a moment to look at him.

No, that can’t be the one Yelena’s dating.

“You made it!” Yelena shouts, all eyes turning to Natasha.

The redhead smiles, waving at her sister and walking to their table.

“Hello” she greets everyone.

“Bob, Ava, Kate, this is my sister Natasha” Yelena says, moving to the side so her sister can sit with them.

“Nice to meet you. We’ve heard so much about you” Ava says.

“All good things, I hope”

“Well, she did tell us about the time you went as Gandalf to a Halloween party” Bob says, and Natasha glares at Yelena.

“Bob, stop!” Yelena says, hiding her face in her hands. “She’s going to kill me”

“Oh, why? I thought it was a good thing?” the guy says, looking around the table.

So he’s the golden retriever of the group, friendly and clueless. Ava, who is Natasha’s age seems to be the voice of reason.

That leaves Kate. Natasha notices some of the glances she shares with Yelena, or the way they laugh at certain things that no one else understands.

“Bishop, can we do a rematch? You beat me at darts last time and it’s been bugging me” Ava says at one point.

They both leave, laughing and dragging Bob along.

“They’re nice” Natasha comments, happy that Yelena has found a good group to hang out with.

It was tough to leave for college, and even harder to learn Yelena had chosen a school that was across the country from her sister. From spending all their time together, now they only saw each other during the holidays.

“Yeah, they’re all great” Yelena says, but Natasha notices she’s only looking at Kate.

“Have you asked her out yet?”

“Hey!” her sister complains, and Natasha laughs.

“You must really like her, then. I’ve seen you go for it without hesitation before”

“Well, I just don’t want it to be weird if it doesn’t work… we’re good friends” Yelena says. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Natasha says too soon for Yelena’s liking.

“I meant, how are things with the roommate. But now you’re acting weird. Do you have a crush on her?”

“No, it’s nothing like that”

Of course, Natasha wasn’t lying. But the thing is, she’s getting used to your presence. She looks forward to you visiting Wanda, moving to do her homework in the living room instead of locking herself up in her room.

She wished she had the courage to ask you out, but Natasha’s never dated anyone. Painfully aware of how out of her league you are, she can’t help but imagine you’d refuse to go on a date with her.

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt you to make some friends, Tasha”

“Yeah, I know. I just… it’s hard for me” Natasha says, looking at her hands.

Except when she’s around you. It’s always easy to spend time with you and actually enjoy it.

“Come on, let’s team up and beat Kate and Ava” Yelena proposes, chugging the last of her beer.

Natasha follows her sister, and she doesn’t miss the way Kate’s hand lingers when she hands over the darts to Yelena.

She immediately thinks about you, the few times her fingers have touched yours for a split second.

Maybe she will text you after all. She’s pulling her phone when Yelena calls her out.

“Come on, Tasha, loser buys the next round of drinks”

So, Natasha saves her phone, hoping to text you later.

For now, though, she has to team up for a free drink.

—

The music is loud, the sorority house crowded.

But the noise and the people aren’t enough to keep you from thinking about Natasha. Meeting Yelena’s friends.

So it must be serious, huh?

“Why do you look so pissed off? Is it Danvers?” Val says, approaching you with a new drink. Carol’s here but you didn’t even notice.

You take the glass and down half of the liquid.

“Do you know any Yelena that goes to school here?”

Who is she? What makes her so damn special? Probably someone older, Natasha would never date a young, stupid, irresponsible…

As your thoughts spiral, you finish the drink.

“Yelena? No, name doesn’t ring a bell. Did she wrong you? We will restore your honor, princess”

You let out a laugh at that, and then your eyes meet Carol’s. She seems ready to walk up to you, but Val is quicker, dragging you to dance. Wanda is already there, swaying to the music with some of your friends.

There’s a bottle of tequila that gets passed around, and you take a large gulp, dancing until the heat is too much and you decide to step outside. Wanda barely listens when you tell her you’re getting some air.

Leaning on the wall, you sigh. It’s fresh out and now that you’re outside, your ears are ringing. This is stupid. You should be acting more mature, instead of like a child that throws a tantrum because she doesn’t get her way.

Natasha’s with someone else, big fucking deal. You should be moving on. There’s gotta be someone in that house that wants to sleep with you.

But the minute you try to go back inside, your stomach turns. All you can think about is Natasha’s beautiful green eyes, her shy smile.

“Fuck”

Doble fuck, when you notice Carol’s looking around. You know that look. She’s clearly alone tonight and horny.

Not today, Satan.

Before you make a stupid mistake, you decide to leave the party, texting your friends to let them know you’re going back home.

But where’s home, exactly? It takes you 15 minutes walking to realise you’re just wandering around campus, wasted and lost. You sit on the steps of the main library, and all you can think about is that time you followed Natasha like a puppy, probably looking stupid.

Damn it.

“You ok?” a voice startles you, and you look up, rubbing your eyes.

“Yeap”

The guy looks familiar, but the last thing you want is some dumb fuck trying to act like a knight in shinning armor.

“I think you’re in my American Studies class” he says.

“I don’t know. Maybe” you say, pulling out your phone, thinking it might be wise to call Darcy and ask for her help. She’s gonna be pissed but it’s getting late and you’re practically alone with this stranger.

“I’m Jake” he says with a smile, and you want to throw your phone at his stupid face. As if you even asked what his fucking name is.

“Have a goodnight, Jake from American Studies” you say, standing up to walk around him. Unfortunately, you stumble, and  the guy takes advantage, grabbing you by the waist. He’s definitely closer than he needs to be.

“Looks like you could use a hand” he tries to joke, but you feel dread invade your system as his hand slides down to your lower back. Way lower.

“No, I’m fine. Let me go” you push him away, but you’re drunk and he’s stronger. While you struggle, your phone falls to the floor.

“Just let me take care of you” he whispers in your ear.

This cannot be happening. You’re about to scream for help, when his overwhelming presence disappears, and is replaced by green eyes that you’d recognise anywhere.

“Are you ok?” Natasha says. She doesn’t manhandle you like the idiot did, placing her hands delicately in your face instead.

“Yes. I’m fine. How did you…?”

You’re about to ask something, but the adreline rush and the alcohol make you dizzy, so you close your eyes to try to calm down. The guy says something to Natasha, but your heart is beating in your ears, and you can’t even hear him.

“Leave before I call campus police” Natasha says, making it very clear she’s not messing around. You take a deep breath, opening your eyes. Natasha’s gaze is fixed on you, a frown clouding her features. “Is Wanda around?”

“No, I didn’t want to stay at the party, so I left early but got lost. I, uh, can find my way home, don’t worry, I know you’re busy…”

“What did you drink?” Natasha says, her palm against your forehead. “You’re sweating”

“Tequila, a beer or two. I’m sorry, I can take care of myself, you should go…” you stumble with your words, mortified. She probably thinks you’re an idiot.

But instead, Natasha squeezes your hand, smiling gently.

“I’d feel better if you came back home with me. That way I can keep an eye on you”

“I don’t want to bother you” you say, turning away. If you keep looking at those beautiful eyes, you know you’ll agree to anything.

“Please” she says, her raspy voice a tone lower than usual. As if you’d be doing her a favor by coming over and making her take care of you. It’s very clear she won’t take no for an answer, so you nod, allowing her to lead you to the parking lot.

The ride to her place is a short one, but you’re struggling to keep your eyes open. As soon as Natasha parks, she gets out and walks to your side, opening the door for you.

“I’m ok. Thank you” you mumble, slurring your words. Between the exhaustion and the alcohol, you’re having trouble walking straight. The feeling of Natasha’s hands around your waist might be a dream, but you’re fine with it. Her touch is soft and gentle, unlike that idiot.

“I’ll get you some water” Natasha says as you walk inside, making you sit on the couch.

You play with the fabric, trying to focus on something other than the throbbing in your head. It’s really weird, because you had very little to drink, or at least that’s what you recall. Maybe you were more upset than you thought.

“Sorry about ruining your date” you say out of the blue, remembering why you were in a bad mood.

“What date?” Natasha says, frowning. She hands you a glass of water and you take it with a nod.

“Didn’t you say you were meeting your girlfriend’s friends?” you say between sips, closing your eyes.

“Yelena? She’s my sister. I thought I told you about her. The one who thought she was the lost Romanov princess” Natasha says with a smile.

You’re not smiling, though.

“Wait, so… you’re not dating anyone?”

“I’ve never dated, to be honest” the redhead shrugs her shoulders. You stand up suddenly, ignoring the way the room spins. “Wow, what’s wrong?”

“So if you’re single, why haven’t you texted me?” you pace around the room, agitated. “I was waiting… I thought I made it clear I like you”

“You… do?”

“I… think I’m going to be sick" you say, and Natasha’s by your side in an instant. “I’m such an idiot”

“You’re not, it’s ok. Want to change into some comfortable clothes?”

“Ok” you nod. You let her walk you to a room, but you’re so dizzy that you only realise it’s hers when she opens the door.

She lets you sit on the bed while she goes through her closet, handing you a t-shirt like the one you never gave back.

“I’ll be right outside while you get changed, ok?”

You nod, and she leaves, closing the door on her way out.

Natasha leans against the wall, thinking about all the things you just said. Did you mean them? Should she do something about it?

It felt weird, considering you were intoxicated, and maybe it wouldn’t be something you’d admit out loud if you weren’t drunk. Could it be because you were ashamed about liking Natasha?

All this time, she thought you were just being nice…

Could she really be that oblivious?

“Everything ok in there?” she decides to stop thinking about this, focusing on you instead.

When she doesn’t get a reply, she peaks inside. You’re in the t-shirt Natasha left for you, fast asleep in her bed.

The sight makes Natasha’s stomach turn, but not in an unpleasant way.

Even if you look fine, she decides to sleep on the floor, next to the bed, just in case you need something.

“Nat” you mumble against the pillow after a few minutes.

“I’m here” she says, reaching for your hand. You sigh, squeezing her fingers, settling once more.

You don’t let go for the rest of the night.

[ilovemarvel97]

Written in Our Souls - Part 2

Wanda Maximoff x Reader 

Summary: Y/N is thrilled to see Wanda. But Wanda is not.

Word Count: 3,300

Warnings: angst

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

---

Y/N’s POV

"Alright, I don’t know what’s going on, but, Welcome to the team, Agent Y/N!” 

I hear Tony Stark say that, but my head barely registers it. All I can think is—I finally found her. My soulmate. My Wanda. The burning on my wrist is still warm, like a brand confirming what I already know in my heart.

She’s beautiful. God, she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.

I tried to go after her, to say something—anything—but she was gone before I could take a single step in her direction. And then the rest of the team surrounded me. Questions. Greetings. Jokes I was too dazed to respond to. The moment passed. She disappeared.

I hope I didn’t imagine the look on her face. The way her eyes widened. The slight parting of her lips. She felt it too. She had to.

I grip my wrist, still burning with her name.  

Wanda.  

I replay the moment over and over in my head as the team gives me a tour of the compound. I nod, I smile, I thank them—but I’m not really here. Not fully. A part of me is still standing in that room, staring at the girl I’ve waited for my entire life.

But something’s off.  

If she felt it too, why did she leave?

“I’m Natasha Romanoff. I’ll show you to your room.”  

Natasha’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Nice to meet you, Natasha. I’ve heard a lot about the Black Widow,” I say, shaking her hand.

She gives me a brief smirk and leads the way. A moment later, she throws a glance over her shoulder, brows raised, curious.  

“So… how do you know Wanda?”

I force a smile. 

“I don’t,” I answer carefully. “We’ve never met before.”

She pauses—just for a second—but I catch it.  

“Huh,” she mutters, then continues. “Could’ve fooled me. You two looked like you’d seen ghosts—or something else.”

I chuckle softly, though it sounds hollow. “First-day nerves, maybe. Meeting the Avengers isn’t exactly casual.”

She doesn’t respond, but I feel her watching me from the corner of her eye.

When we reach the guest quarters, she opens the door.  

“This’ll be your room. Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks,” I say, stepping inside.

Nat lingers a moment longer. “If you need anything, I’m just down the hall.”

I nod politely. “Appreciate it.”

Once the door shuts, I finally exhale. My heart is still racing.

I glance down at my wrist, where the name Wanda glows softly against my skin. Still warm. Still real.

I whisper to myself, “I should’ve asked Natasha where Wanda’s room is…”

“It’s at the end of the hall, miss,” a voice replies, making me jump.

“Who’s there?!” I spin around, hands raised instinctively.

“My name is FRIDAY. I’m Mr. Stark’s AI assistant. I’m here to help with anything you need,” the voice says calmly.

“Cool,” I whistle. “So, Wanda’s room is at the end of the hall?”

“Yes. Would you like me to notify her that you’re coming?”

“No… it’s okay. I won’t go. Not yet.”

“Alright. Call me if you need anything,” FRIDAY replies.

I wanted to go. My legs ached to move. But I wasn’t sure. She didn’t look thrilled when she saw me. Still, she’s mine. My Wanda. My soulmate. I want to see her again. I want to know more about her. I wanna see her again…

“Fuck it,” I mutter, throwing the door open and heading straight for her room.

I pause in front of her door, heart hammering. My palms are sweaty, but I knock before I can change my mind.

Seconds feel like minutes—then she opens the door.

Everything stops again.

“Hi,” I say, voice barely above a whisper. I can’t stop smiling. She’s breathtaking.

“You’re Wanda, right?” I ask, holding up my wrist with her name glowing across it.

She looks at it, and I swear I see her eyes light up for a split second—but just as quickly, the spark vanishes.

“You’re my soul—” I begin, but she cuts me off.

“No. I’m not. Sorry.”

“But… my wrist is burning. Yours too, right?” I glance at her wrist. It’s covered.

“No. You’re not,” she says again, firmer this time.

“Can I see it? Please? Your wrist—it has my name. Y/N. I know it does.”

She flinches. I see her flinch.

But then she lies. “No. It’s not your name.”

I don’t understand. My wrist pulses just being near her. Every cell in my body screams she’s the one. But she keeps denying it.  

Is it a mistake?  

Is she scared?  

Am I not what she imagined?

“Is that all?” she asks, snapping me out of my daze.

“Welcome to the team. Good night,” she adds coldly—and shuts the door in my face.

The slam feels like a punch to the chest. I stand there for a few seconds before forcing myself to walk back to my room.

Maybe she just needs time…  I think.

---

The Next Morning

At breakfast, Natasha offers to introduce me to the rest of the team—those who just returned from a mission.

But when we reach the shared living area, I freeze.

A red-faced man peck Wanda’s lips and she smiles at him.

Suddenly, the world tilts.  

My lungs forget how to work.  

My chest tightens painfully.

Was I shot? Are we under attack?

My ears ring. I can’t hear a thing Natasha’s saying.  

All I can see is Wanda… smiling. At him.

“Y/N!” Natasha calls sharply, bringing me back.

I blink, breathing uneven.

“Are you okay? You look pale,” she says, concerned.

Everyone’s looking at me. Even Wanda.

But when I meet her eyes, she quickly looks away.

“I’m fine. Just… uh, hungry,” I lie with a forced smile.

“So, what were your names again?” I ask, turning to the others.

“I’m Steve. This is Bucky. And that’s Vision—Wanda’s fiancé,” Steve says.

Fiancé.

The word makes me nauseous.

“Fiancé. I see,” I say, forcing a smile.

I glance at Wanda again. Our eyes meet.  

But this time… I’m the one who looks away.

“Well, nice to meet you all. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go shower before training,” I mutter, slipping out as calmly as I can.

---

The second I shut my door, I bolt to the bathroom and throw up everything I ate.

My body shakes. My head spins.  

This isn’t what a soulmate bond is supposed to feel like.

This hurts.  

This burns.

Is this what it feels like to be rejected by your soulmate?

Now I understand.  

That’s why she said no.  

She’s engaged.

And I have no idea what to do.

I stay for a while in my room, trying to calm my fast heartbeat.

---

The training was more about me. They wanted to know my powers and what I am capable of.

My powers are super strength and speed, so they made me pair with Steve in the end.

I tried not to look at Wanda during the practice. But I should’ve known that it was impossible when your body is looking for your other half.

Thanks to that I got some punch from Steve which I think might bruise.

---

That night, my chest was painful.

The team wanted to know me better so everybody were gathered, but the pain in my chest was a little annoying.

As I rub my ribs, Clint asks me if I was alright, and I joke that Steve’s punches were a little heavy. He apologize which I say it was just a bruise.

But when I went to check on the mirror in my bathroom, there were no bruises on my body.

Maybe it just didn’t bruise

The Next morning I wake up breathless.

Not from a nightmare. Not from panic.

Just… breathless.

Like my lungs forgot how to work overnight.

I sit up slowly, rubbing at my chest. The dull ache is back. Not sharp—yet—but enough to make me wince when I stretch too far.

It’s probably nothing. Just fatigue. Stress. Maybe the training wore me out more than I thought.

I drag myself out of bed, pull on my clothes, and head to the common room where most of the team is already having breakfast.

She’s there.  

Wanda.

Sitting beside Vision, leaning slightly into him as she laughs at something he says. Her hair is still damp from a shower, tied loosely at the nape of her neck. She looks… soft this morning. Calm.

Untouchable.

The second I step into the room, the pain spikes.  

Like someone tied a rope around my ribs and yanked.

I falter for just a second, but force a smile and grab a cup of coffee, pretending I didn’t almost fall over.

I take the seat farthest from her.

Steve’s talking about scheduling training rotations. Natasha’s chiming in with jokes about who’s most likely to break something this time. I nod when I’m supposed to. I laugh when they laugh.

But I don’t hear any of it.

Because Wanda doesn’t look at me. Not once.

And I can feel her.  

Even across the room, I feel the absence of her attention like a knife between my ribs.

---

I decide to try to be friends with her. And see where it will take us.

So, I try to talk to her again.

Nothing heavy. Just something small.

“I liked your throw during training today,” I offer as we cross paths in the hallway.

Wanda barely glances at me. “Thanks.”

Her tone is clipped. Dismissive.

I keep walking, pretending it doesn’t feel like another nail in my chest.

But I should continue to try.

So, I try again.

---

Hallway, midday.

I catch her coming out of the training room, towel slung around her neck, cheeks flushed from exertion.

I clear my throat. “Hey… I was wondering if maybe you wanted to spar sometime. You’re quick on your feet.”

She doesn’t even stop walking. “I already train with Natasha.”

Right. Of course.

I nod, even though she’s already halfway down the hall.

The pressure in my chest stays long after she’s gone.

---

In the kitchen, late at night.

It’s just the two of us. Everyone else is asleep. I’m leaning against the counter, sipping tea I don’t even want.

She walks in and moves straight to the fridge.

“You have trouble sleeping too?” I ask gently, voice low so I don’t scare her off.

Wanda pauses. Her back to me.

Then, without turning around, she says, “Not really.”

She grabs what she needs and leaves.

I stay frozen, blinking down at the mug in my hand, like I forgot how it got there.

The ache beneath my ribs tightens like a coil.

---

Outside on the balcony.

The sunset’s casting orange streaks across the compound. Wanda’s alone, arms folded, staring out at the trees.

I approach quietly. I don’t want to push her—just… try.

“Pretty out here,” I say softly.

She doesn’t look at me. “I wanted space.”

“I can go—”

“Then go.”

Her voice isn’t sharp. Just tired. But it cuts deeper than any blade.

I nod once, swallowing thickly, and back away.

I don’t sleep that night. The pain in my chest wraps around my lungs like barbed wire.

---

Right before a mission debrief.

Everyone’s scattered, settling into their seats, sipping coffee. Wanda’s standing off to the side, arms crossed, not looking at anyone.

I take a breath, walk over, my heart thundering. One more try.

“Be safe out there today,” I say, managing a smile. “If you need backup—”

“I’ll be fine.”

She cuts me off, her eyes finally meeting mine for the briefest second.

Then she turns her back to me, walking away without another word.

This time, the pain hits hard.

A sudden throb in my chest that steals my breath. I press my hand to my heart, pretending I’m just adjusting my gear. Pretending I’m fine.

But something’s wrong. I know it now.  

This isn’t just heartbreak.

This is my soul breaking.  

And my body knows it too.

---

It’s been three months since I joined the Avengers, and the pain in my chest just got worse.

It’s harder to sleep.

Lying down makes it worse—like gravity is pulling all the pain into one spot just under my heart.

I curl onto my side, pressing my fist to my chest, teeth clenched.

I keep telling myself it’s just training. Maybe I tore something. Maybe it’s a pulled muscle. Maybe I’m sick. Maybe—

But it’s only like this when she’s near.  

Only like this when I hear her laugh with him.

---

I sit beside Sam at the kitchen counter. I haven’t eaten a full meal in two days.

He frowns as he watches me stir the same bowl of cereal for the third time.

“You good?” he asks, nudging me with his elbow.

“Yeah,” I lie. “Just… not feeling great. Think I caught something.”

“Heartburn?” he jokes.

I give him a hollow laugh. “Something like that.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Wanda enter the room. Her hand brushes against Vision’s as they pass each other.

The pain comes back—tight, raw.

I double over slightly, masking it as a cough.

“You sure you’re okay?” Sam asks again, concern flickering now.

“Yeah,” I breathe. “Just need some air.”

Back in my room, I rip off my shirt and stand in front of the mirror again.

Nothing.

No bruises. No burns. No visible reason for why I feel like I’m being crushed from the inside out.

I press my palm flat to my chest and close my eyes.

Wanda’s name still burns on my wrist.  

Her soul still calls to mine.

And mine is starting to scream.

---

During one of the trainings Natasha approaches me. We’ve become friends during the three months I stayed here. 

“You okay?”

Natasha’s voice pulls me from the edge of a wince. I hadn’t even realized I was clutching my ribs again. The ache had become background noise—something I’d grown used to ignoring. Or trying to.

“I’m fine,” I say too quickly, forcing a smile. “Just a stitch. Probably slept wrong.”

Nat doesn’t look convinced. She never does.

She tosses me a water bottle and sits beside me on the bench outside the training room, elbow resting on her knee, gaze fixed on the mat.

“I’ve seen you do that a lot,” she says, casual like we’re just talking about the weather. “Hold your side. Flinch when you think no one’s watching.”

I go still.

“You sure it’s not a heart thing?” she adds, finally glancing at me. “Because I know the signs, Y/N. You’ve looked like you’re about to pass out more than once.”

I try to laugh it off. “Thanks for the concern, Mom.”

“Don’t deflect.” Her voice is soft, but her eyes are steel. “I’m serious.”

I take a slow breath, chewing on my lip.

“I don’t know what it is,” I admit, voice barely above a whisper. “It started small. Little pinches in my chest. Tightness. I thought it was stress, or maybe Steve’s punches catching up to me.”

Nat nods, letting me talk.

“But it’s getting worse,” I continue. 

“Have you talked to anyone? Medical?”

“I went once,” I say. “They didn’t find anything wrong. Heart rate was elevated, but nothing dangerous. They said maybe anxiety.”

“But it’s not just anxiety,” Nat guesses.

I nod. “But it’s okay. Maybe I’m just not used to the new routine” I chuckle.

Although Nat doesn’t buy it, she doesn’t push it either.

And I am glad for that. I haven’t told her about Wanda and I possibly being soulmates.

---

Three days. 

That’s how long this mission was supposed to last. Simple, straightforward—at least that’s how the briefing went. But I never expected it to be this difficult. Not with her. Not with Wanda.

We’ve been on missions before, sure, but this was different. This time, it’s just the two of us. We’re under disguise, trying to blend in. No one else to watch our backs.

And honestly? I don’t think I can take it. She ignored me the whole day. Only talking when necessary. 

The worst part is that we need to share a room for the night. The air in the motel room feels too thick every time I breathe, suffocating me with the tension between us. 

She barely looks at me. She keeps to herself, speaking only when absolutely necessary. Her words are short, clipped, like she’s afraid to say too much. But we’re not here for small talk. I can’t afford to think about it, but I can feel the pull every time she’s near me. Every time her voice breaks the silence, it’s like a hot knife in my chest, burning me.

I close my eyes, trying to relax. I can’t, though. The pain is always there, a tightness in my chest that never goes away. Every time I move, I feel it, like something is pressing down on my ribs, cutting into me.

Wanda’s soft breathing beside me doesn’t help. Her presence feels like a constant reminder of what my soul wants, but I can’t have. I try to roll over to my side, but the pain intensifies. 

I grip the blanket, squeezing my eyes shut, just trying to sleep.

---

I’m not sure how much time has passed when it happens.

I hear Wanda scream. 

It’s a high, sharp sound—nothing like the calm voice I’ve gotten used to. It pierces the stillness of the room, pulling me straight out of the haze of sleep. I shoot up in an instant, heart racing in my chest. The sound echoes in my head as I turn toward her. 

She’s thrashing, her hands clawing at the air, eyes wide open but unseeing, tears flowing freely down her face. She’s trapped. Trapped in something I can’t see.

I don’t even think. The instinct is immediate, overwhelming. Without hesitation, I throw the blanket off and move to her side. 

“Wanda?” I say, voice hoarse with panic. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

Her eyes dart around, unfocused. I don’t care if I’m crossing some line—if this is too much. I pull her into my arms, wrapping her tightly against me, holding her close. 

The second she’s against me, her body stiffens in shock. But then, slowly, she stops struggling. Her breath hitches in and out, her hands trembling, but she doesn’t pull away.

“Wanda,” I whisper again, softer this time, “You’re safe. You’re okay. You’re here with me.”

She doesn’t respond, but after a moment, I feel her relax. Her body stops shaking, and her breath becomes more even, less frantic. Her head presses into my chest, and I gently stroke her back, my hands moving instinctively, soothing, calming.

The sound of her sobs dies down, and the tension in her shoulders finally loosens. Her body feels like dead weight against mine, but I hold her tighter, not wanting to let go. 

And in that moment, something inside me clicks. The ache in my chest—the constant pressure, the burning that’s been gnawing at me for weeks—fades away.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I can breathe. I can feel my heart slowing to a normal rhythm. The pain is gone. 

I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the way she feels in my arms, just perfect.

I don’t understand it. I don’t know what happened. But for the first time in weeks, I’m at ease.

I lay there for what feels like an eternity, just holding her. And as the minutes pass, I finally allow myself to close my eyes, the soft rise and fall of her chest beneath my palm the only thing that matters.

For the first time in days, I sleep.

---

Part 3

---

This is Part 2. Ready for the next part?

[returnofeternity]

hear me out, tattoo artist nat getting freaky when a new customer comes in and wants to get her first tattoo on her lowerback or like on her cleavage (plus, if possible the dear customer looks too innocent to get a tattoo?)

you searched for only the best (and cheapest, you're on a bit of a budget here...) tattoo shops in the city. the name that kept popping up on almost every search was natalie scatorccio from 2525 tattoos.

she had the best reviews by far. barely any negative ones, and if they were low, they always ended with how nice she was and how she gave them a discount if they disliked the end result.

so you booked her. talked to her a bit on the phone and explained what it was that you were going for, and soon enough, you were walking through the front doors of the shop, nervous as fuck, and looking for the most "natalie" looking person in here.

you shuffle up to the front where some guy is. "hi, i have an appointment with natalie at 2."

after giving him your name blah, blah, blah, you follow him to the back where he tells you to sit and get comfortable while he fetches "nat."

you sit nervously on the black tattoo bed, looking around at all the picture frames and tat supplies as you try to calm your racing mind. you're intimidated. this place might be too cool for you.

just as you reach over to inspect a stencil on the table, a dark-haired girl walks in, making you jump back in embarrassment.

she chuckles at you and you flush, especially after getting a good look at her. gosh, she's handsome and gorgeous at the same time.

"you're my 2 o'clock?" she asks skeptically while placing down some ink. "the cleavage tat?"

"yeah..." you mumble, gulping hard as she walks around you to set up. her perfume makes you dizzy. "why, did you have someone else scheduled?"

"no, you just don't seem the type. too innocent looking." she smiles and bites her lip, snapping the black gloves on her hand. "i like it."

· · 𖦹 · ·

thinking about nat touching your body after telling you to scoot up on the bed just so she can feel you... nat who says "good girl" when you scoot to where she wants you.

nat who helps you out of your shirt and undoes your bra for you, nat who accidentally brushes her gloved hand against your nipple as she places it to the side.

nat who tells you that it's perfectly fine if your nipples get hard and not to get embarrassed.

nat who's in for a long ride when you whimper the second she starts inking you up... she loves it. but you need to relax so she can do it without fucking it up. she's whispering for you to take deep breaths while her thumb is rubbing your hips, just as affected as you are because as she looks down at you, face flushed and lip trapped beneath your teeth, you look so innocent.

nat who has to hold onto your breast as she does the tattoo. nat who jokes about how hard your nipple is while she subtly gropes it.

nat who notices how you're trying to rub your thighs together.

nat who has to stop what she's doing to hold your chest down because you keep arching your back the closer she gets to your nipple 😵‍💫 you knew it would be somewhat ticklish plus painful getting this type of tattoo, but you didn't know it would turn you on so much... you feel so pathetic.

nat who asks if you want her to apply numbing cream... you agree because you think you might die of embarrassment if you let out another whine disguised as a cough. it happens again when she rubs it on your nipples :(

nat who gives you her number after she's done, telling you to text/call her if you need something like advice for aftercare. thinking of her face when you send pictures of your chest, asking if bleeding is normal. she has to touch herself to it...

nat who is very excited when you book another tattoo appointment with her :)

[gtgbabie0]

{A soft, quiet moment away from camp with Queen!Natalie}

My poor girl literally can not catch a break </3

Natalie needed to get away from all this ‘Queen’ bullshit— from Shauna’s bullshit and Mari’s bullshit and whatever bitchiness was going on between them. Just everything and everyone, for a single moment so she could breathe without someone bitching and moaning at her— honestly this whole leader thing was so much more harder than she had anticipated.

It felt great at first, being anointed by the fireplace in the dead of winter—all the attention the group gave her, the way people looked at her with a glint in their eyes, warmed her and gave her purpose. Now it was spring, and she was just exhausted.

“We’re meant to be relaxing, Nat.” The sound of your gentle voice snaps her out of her thoughts, breaking through all the troubles that have clouded her mind.

She hums in acknowledgment, leaning back against your front with a small grumble— something incoherent. You had snuck her out of camp a while ago, guiding her through the forest and into a clearing— a small creek that you had found, hidden behind trees and foliage, the water crystal clear and twinkling beneath the afternoon sun.

It was a nice getaway from all the stress. The water had been cool against her flushed skin, almost relaxing in a way as the pair of you splashed around— a mini water fight that had ended in you both being stripped down to your underwear, your clothes now hung up over a tree branch to dry in the sun as the pair of you now relax by the water, bathing in the warm rays that peak between the trees.

You drop a kiss to her freckled shoulder, arms curling around her waist from behind as if to keep her from slipping too far away in her own mind— “I am relaxing. So relaxed.” Sarcastic as ever.

"Mhm, you're all tense still." A smirk stretches across Natalie’s lips at the feeling of you nuzzling against her shoulder, trailing kisses along the side of her neck— “Is there anything I can do to help, my Queen?” You giggle against her warm skin as she all but groans, slumping against you dramatically.

“Don’t you fuckin’ start with that too.” She mumbles through a small scoff, trying to hide her amusement behind slightly narrowed eyes as she turns her head to catch your gaze— a playful frown scrunching up over her face.

“Don’t pretend like it doesn’t secretly turn you on.” She shoves your shoulder for that, sticking her middle finger up at you with a grumbled “Asshole,” beneath her breath as you lay back against the blanket you had laid across the grass in a fit of giggles.

Natalie swears you’re the prettiest damn girl she’s ever seen, especially like this. Careless and free, stripped down to a worn out tank top and your underwear— the colour faded from the fabric. She absolutely whipped for you. Admiring how the orangey afternoon sunlight dusts across your face, painting you in some kind of heavenly light. You were an angel, her angel, she thinks.

Yeah, it’s a mushy thought, but she doesn’t find herself wanting to shake it off or push it down— you had managed to soften her sharp edges and for once she wasn't afraid to let someone in, to let you in. It felt good, like really good.

Natalie’s gaze softens into something tender, watching as your laughter ebbs away gently only to be replaced by the surrounding sounds of nature— rustling leaves and trickling water. “You’re so pretty.” Her words sudden yet gentle, a meaningful whisper, carried out by the breeze.

You push yourself up with a small smirk, brow twitching slightly in fond surprise— it's not often you can get her like this, so you relish in it. “Mm, no you are.” you throw her compliment back at her with a soft kiss to her cheek, “You’re the prettiest.”

And she really is. The sun has left the faintest smattering of freckles across her face and shoulders— her chest. Her roots now growing through, peroxide blonde clinging to natural brown as she slowly sheds that grungy, angsty persona into something… dare you say a little softer perhaps mature?

Natalie rolls her eyes, “Yeah, yeah— whatever you say.” She acts like it’s not a big deal, that your compliments didn’t make her heart jump several beats and her stomach feel all fluttery— but you could tell, just from the way her eyes glint with love, shining in a way that takes your breath away.

Silence settles between you both comfortably as Natalie drops her head against your shoulder, face tucked into the crook of your neck— you could practically hear her the cogs in her mind wiring up a storm of concerns once more.

“Stop thinking.” You sigh, brushing your fingertips through the soft blades of grass— plucking up two daisies and idly making rings out of them, something that Akilah had taught you one night.

“I can’t.” The words are huffed, muffed frustratedly against your neck— then her tone drops, barely whisper “What am I gonna do?” It makes your chest feel uncomfortably tight, an ache building up inside you.

“Whatever you feel is right, Nat.”

“Won’t matter if they find out. You've heard the way they all speak” Right. Coach.

With a small sigh you turn to sit in front of her, hands gently cupping her face— her eyes flickering up to yours almost pleadingly and you wonder how they’d all react if they knew their ‘Queen’ looked at you like you were some sort of deity.

“No matter what happens I’m right behind you, always.” That seems to be enough for right now because she’s nodding against your palms, with a soft— “Yeah, you promise?”

Natalie watches you as you settle down beside her with a nod, fingers going back to work on the flower rings that quickly catch her attention— her brow twitches questioningly but before she can ask you, you're slipping the daisy over her ring finger with a soft smile. “I promise.” Eyes fixed onto hers.

It shouldn’t make her heart jump as violently as it does— but god it does, the reverence in your tone, the way you look at her so unwavering in your words. She lets herself believe you.

“Okay. I’ve got you too.” The words are whispered just as sternly as yours, her fingers fumbling with one of the dainty flowers you've made rings from— and ever so gently she slides it over your finger and you both burst into breathless giggles, leaning into one another suddenly overcome by a wave of giddiness that wipes all worry from your minds, it felt as if nothing existed outside of this tiny little bubble you've built around yourselves.

It’s sappy, unbelievably so and she lets herself drown in it— drown in you as you wrap your arms around her shoulders in a tight hug. “You know behind every great ruler is an even greater woman…”

“Don’t push it.” Her finger pokes your side before her hands drop to your hips, stealing a kiss from your lips— then another and another until you’re on your back and she’s hovering over you, leaving open-mouthed kisses along your neck. Maybe, just maybe she’ll be fine as long as she’s got you.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for babysitting the Barton kids with Natasha

Natasha Romanoff x reader

warnings:

a/n: silly lil concept. also its like implied nat and y/n are dating but not explicit so like it can def be platonic or romantic depending on how you perceive it.

prompt:

oh you KNOWWW it’s gonna be a good time when “auntie nat” and y/n show up to babysit

clint and laura were going out of town for a whole week and left you two—the only two they trusted—to watch their three kids

and ofc the kids loved you guys to death

“can you show me how to shoot a gun?” -lila

“let’s check the rules your mom left” -nat, reading the note on the fridge “‘don’t let the kids touch your guns’ sorry kid, against the rules”

cooking was something you both were dreading

“can we take the quinjet to get mcdonalds?” -you

“only if you fly” -nat

no R-rated movies was circled and underlined on the “rules” note about 10 times

but the terminator doesn’t count right?

being woken up by nate in the middle of the night bc he cant sleep

“your turn, nat” -you

after nat didn’t come back to bed for a while you found her and nate playing “spies” (she really wanted him to be her mini-me 😭)

“y/n! wanna play?” -nate

*defeated sigh* “sure!” -you

within 20 minutes all the kids were downstairs pretending to be spies and the new mission was “get the kids back to bed”

“no, we cant dye nates hair red” -you

“it’d look great” -nat

“natasha they’re never going to let us see the kids again” -you

three kids is just a LOT of work

you had newfound respect for clint and laura

“it’d be easier if we could drug them” -nat

“yeah…..NO” -you

cooper and lila would start arguing over the shower, nate didn’t like his breakfast, nat was getting stir crazy, you were trying to patch a hole in the wall before clint ever knew it was there—yeah. pretty great stuff

check-in calls with laura

“hey! how are they doing, not causing you too much trouble?” -laura

*lila and cooper doing nat’s makeup TERRIBLY* “oh, yeah, we’re just fine. hang on. i have to send you a picture” -you, getting photographic evidence

“oh. my god. clint, you have to see this” -laura, holding up her phone to show the worlds deadliest assassin with horrendous green eyeshadow on her eyes and cheeks and smeared lipstick

“how’d they find my makeup?” -clint, sarcastically

you didn’t know it yet, but you’d be the next victim

“oh, thanks guys…you didn’t have to” -you

truthfully you and nat got some hilarious pictures together

those pictures would live on the barton fridge for years

tending to farm things

“should we call tony? the tractor is broken again” -you

“are you kidding? this is my week away from tony” -nat

it was kind of like a vacation for you guys too. it was no paris or london, but it was an escape from your routine

but you did already make plans for paris for right after this

“watching kids for a week earns us a nice vacation, right?” -you

“i feel like saving the world several times earns us a vacation, but sure, if you think babysitting is the way to go, we can do this more” -nat

lila asking for coffee

you checking the rules list, which has a bullet point saying “do not let lila have coffee”

cool aunt nat almost made her a nice little latte too

“hey, spies might be allowed to lie, but little girls are not. try again later” -you

pretending to be an elderly couple on the porch rocking chairs, drinking your morning coffe and watching the sunrise

“maybe we should retire. get a nice house in the woods. ignore the avengers when they call.” -you

“i don’t hate that idea” -nat

trying to get the kids to do their chores was a hassle

dishes, trash, laundry, cleaning bathrooms, these kids must have thought THEY were on vacation

“i hate how these kids are just not afraid of assassins. that is not normal” -nat

“it’s normal when they call a world famous assassin auntie nat” -you

“are you saying im going soft?” -nat

“i would never say that…” -you

she says in shock like she didn’t just bake cookies with them.

laura and clint finally came home and you guys had dinner ready for them

“aw, you didn’t have to do that” -laura

“don’t worry about it, i know you’ve been on the road all day” -you

you all ate dinner together and said your goodbyes and the kids all gave you a group hug

“i hope they behaved for you” -clint

“they were just perfect” -nat

and on your way out, you heard

“hey, did someone put a hole in the wall? this looks freshly patched” -clint

the kids scattered and you and nat were wise to exit promptly

“love you guys! lets do this again sometime!”

taglist: @locke-writes // @captainshazamerica // @summersimmerus // @prettysbliss // @simp-legend // @wild-rose-35 // @nekoannie-chan // @beth-gallagher22 // @sk1bidi-n1k0-e4ts-people // @deanzboyfriend // @mr-mxyzptlk-1940 //

[stagtorccio]

SECOND NATURE

natalie scatorccio x gn!reader

request: x warnings: thigh riding, fingering (nat receiving), this one is actually fluff though so not many warnings. warning for misty quiggles?? i guess word count: 2638 author's note: happy pride month here's something happier than my usual bullmalarkey

[AO3]

[MDNI, 18+]

𓃢𓃦𐂂 ── .✦

The woods feel different in the summer. 

Less like a threat and more like something alive, watching, breathing with you. Gone are the brittle branches and endless white– now everything is green, damp, buzzing with bugs and humid air. Survival hasn’t gotten easier. Just stranger.

Natalie’s taken to disappearing more often since the fire. She says she needs space. Says the forest helps her think. 

But you know better. 

She doesn’t like being looked at too long now. Not by the others, not by herself. So when she wordlessly jerked her chin toward the trees earlier this morning, you followed without hesitation.

You’ve been walking for a while, letting the conversation wander– music, summer festivals you never got to go to, the way the air back home used to smell after it rained, asphalt and dew. 

It’s light, easy. Natalie is barefoot, boots abandoned nearby after a quick dip in a stream. Twigs and dirt cling to her ankles, hair frizzed out in the humidity. There’s something feral about her right now, yet equally magnetic.

“Y’know what I miss? Fucking slurpees,” she says suddenly, grinning. “The blue raspberry ones. Nothing out here tastes like chemicals. It’s kinda depressing.”

You laugh, not because it’s funny, but because she makes it so.

“I’d kill for a bag of chips. The kind that burn your mouth but you keep eating them anyway.”

“Oooh, salt and vinegar,” she says, mock-serious. “A classic.”

The smile she gives you then is softer than it should be. Her fingers reach out, brushing your arm as she walks past you, sending tingles racing upwards. 

“Honestly,” she murmurs, “this would almost be nice. If we weren’t starving and slowly going insane.” 

You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling too. “Oh come on, almost nice? We’ve got sunshine, birdsong, borderline heatstroke…”

She snorts, glancing back over her shoulder with that same crooked grin. “And no plumbing. Fuckin’ paradise.”

You smirk. “Mm-hmm. Practically a beach vacation.”

Natalie stops a few steps ahead, turns with a wiley look. “Yeah?” she says, cocking her head. “Where’s your sunscreen, then? Your little beach read? Your fruity drink with an umbrella?”

You pretend to scan the forest. “Guess I left ‘em back at camp.”

She laughs at that– a real one, quick and sharp– and comes back toward you, slow. 

“Shame,” she says, tugging playfully at the loose hem of your shirt. “Would’ve loved to see you lounging in the sun. Getting all burnt up.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You’d get burnt up way before me, Nat.”

“Oh, definitely,” she says, laughing. The freckles smattering her raw, sunkissed shoulders are proof. “But I’d still be watching.”

There’s a beat. One of those moments that hangs a second too long to be casual. Her hand lingers where it landed, just at your side. Her thumb brushes the fabric of your shirt, absent-minded, like she’s not even thinking about it.

But she is. You both are. All you do is—

“You ever think about it?” you interrupt your own one-track mind, voice dipping quieter now. “What we’d be doing if none of this had happened?”

Her eyes find yours– steady, unreadable for a beat.

“All the time,” she says. “But when I do… it’s never all that different.” A shrug. “I still see you there.”

That shuts you up.

She sees it– of course she sees it, because Natalie Scatorccio doesn’t miss shit. The silence draws her in closer, step by step until her knee nearly brushes between your legs and the heat of her is right there.

“What?” she murmurs, mouth curving invitingly. “Surprised I like having you around?”

You try to play it cool. Wet your lips, shrug a little. “Maybe.”

She snorts– low, amused, almost fond. Like you’ve just said something kind of tragic and kind of cute.

“Jesus,” she breathes, head tilting as her hands slip lower, her fingers finding your belt loops and curling in. “Why do you think I asked you to come with me this morning, huh?”

Her voice softens into a hum, almost teasing. “Chit-chat?”

You open your mouth, probably to say something dumb, but you don’t get the chance. Natalie moves faster than your thoughts. Her hands push you just enough, your back bumping the rough bark of the nearest tree as she closes the space completely.

And then she kisses you.

It starts soft, surprisingly so. Her mouth pressing into yours lazily, a smile tugging at the corners like she’s savoring it. Her hands stay at your waist, gripping lightly, thumbs brushing under the hem of your shirt.

You melt into it– there’s no other fitting word. Your own fingers find her hips, steady yourself there like you need the grounding. She tastes like something sweeter under all the bluster– something almost shy, if you didn’t know her better.

She pulls back just enough to breathe, lips brushing yours as she speaks.

“So… you still think I just wanted company?” she murmurs, her breath warm, smile still tugging at her voice. She slots herself against you like she’s trying to gap any negative space left. Your heart’s thudding against your ribs like it’s trying to get closer to her too.

“…No,” you say, breathless. “Pretty sure I get it now.”

“Good.” She grins. Simple and giddy. “Took you long enough.”

She kisses you again before you can say anything else. This time it’s harder, more certain, with a kind of insistence that catches you off guard with how hungry it is. Her hands slide up under your shirt, callused fingers skating over skin like she wants to memorize the shape of you. 

Your back presses harder into the tree, bark digging into your spine as you slide down, but you barely notice. Not with her mouth moving against yours like this. Not with the way she exhales through her nose every time you meet her pushes with one of your own.

She shifts her weight and drops to straddle your lap, knees pressing into the mossy earth, thighs tight around one of yours. You slide a hand instinctively to the small of her back, the other gripping her hip, steadying her. 

Natalie rolls her hips once, grinding down until you feel the press of her against your thigh, hot through the worn fabric of her pants.

Her breath stutters in her throat. You feel it.

“Fuck,” she mutters, the word half a sigh. Her forehead drops to your shoulder for a second, then she lifts her head again, eyes darker now. You slide your hands up the curve of her waist, slow and steady, thumbs brushing bare skin beneath the hem of her shirt. 

“We don’t have to rush,” you murmur, voice low. “If that’s what you want. We’ve got time.”

That makes her pause– not in her body, but in her breath. Her lips part slightly, like she’s about to argue, or pretend she doesn’t care. But you lean in, let your noses brush, your forehead tip gently to hers.

Then her hands are in your shirt again, fisting the fabric like she needs something to hold onto before she drowns. She kisses you rougher this time, all teeth. But she doesn’t stop. Doesn’t pull away.

She rocks down into you, slowly at first, grinding into your thigh in long, drawn-out motions that make her breaths stumble against your mouth. There’s nothing rushed about it now. Just focused, deliberate friction, the kind that builds slow and warm. You exhale against her skin, lips grazing her jaw as your hand slips under the waistband of her pants, fingers fanning low across her stomach. 

Her breath catches, but she doesn’t falter. If anything, she pushes down harder, chasing the pressure.

“Feels good?” you ask, barely louder than the birdsong above, thumb drawing lazy, reverent circles across her lower belly.

“Mhm,” she hums, the sound barely making it past her throat. There’s a tremble in it, half embarrassment, half need.

“Yeah?” you murmur, the corner of your mouth curling against her neck. “Good. Just want you to make yourself feel good for me, Nat.”

You feel the way her body tenses, hips faltering just a little, overwhelmed by the softness in your voice. “You work so fucking hard,” you go on, slipping your hand deeper, fingertips brushing heat. “Always holding everything together. Lemme take care of you for once.”

She whines at that, really whines, biting down on her bottom lip hard enough to go pink then white, eyes fluttering closed as her hips grind forward with more desperation now, chasing every spark your words strike. Her arms are around your shoulders, pulling herself tighter against you.

You ease your fingers lower, just enough to tease, to let her feel the promise of what’s coming. A shudder racks through her, and her forehead drops to your collarbone. You hear her breathe in sharp, then again– hitched. Her arms squeeze around you like it’s all that’s keeping her from falling apart.

“Please,” she chokes out, voice muffled against your skin. “Please…”

But still you hold back, fingers ghosting lower again only to retreat.

She lifts her head, and her eyes are glossed. Not just with arousal, but something fragile, fraying at the edges. A single tear slips down her cheek, and she doesn’t even try to hide it.

“I need it,” she says, voice breaking. “Need your hand— please. I want it.”

You still her with a kiss, slow and deep, tasting the salt on her lips. Then you press your palm firm, cupping her fully, dragging a moan straight from her throat as her back arches and her grip turns bruising.

“That’s all you had to say,” you murmur.

You slip your hand lower, finally giving her what she’s been grinding toward. Fingers find her soaked and wanting, and when you stroke up, just slow enough to drag it out before circling the top, her whole body jerks.

She groans, forehead dropping to your shoulder like she can’t hold herself up anymore. Her grip on your back tightens, knuckles white where they clutch at your shirt. Still, she doesn’t stop moving. Her hips roll faster now, chasing friction. 

“Oh, fuck,” she gasps, sharp and breathless, like the wind got knocked out of her.

“You’re doing so good,” you murmur, pressing your lips to the corner of her mouth. “So pretty like this.”

She buries her face in your neck, breath hot and uneven. Every muscle in her body’s tight with effort, trembling as she rides the tension higher, closer. You match the rhythm of her hips, stroking with gentle precision, coaxing her with each pass.

“Just like that, baby,” you murmur, and you feel the way her body clenches at the praise. She whimpers– soft and broken– and you’re not sure if it’s the nickname or the pressure or everything at once, but it nearly undoes her.

Her hips stutter, motion becoming messier, more frantic as her fingers twist in your shirt, desperate to hold on.

“Close?” you murmur, voice steady, coaxing, even as your own heart slams against your ribs.

She chokes out a sound– half a gasp, half a sob– and her hand fumbles up to the back of your neck, gripping tight like she needs to anchor herself somewhere. Her nails dig in, sharp enough to sting, and it only spurs you to keep going. Her body’s coiling tight, every muscle drawn taut like a bowstring.

“Yeah– fuck,” she breathes, voice cracking as her hips falter. “I’m– shit, I’m gonna–”

“You can.” You kiss just below her ear, your fingers circling with just the right pressure now, steady and sure. “It’s okay. I got you.”

She shudders once, violently, then again– jaw clenched, breath caught. And then she breaks, right in your lap. Her whole body jolts with it, hips rolling through the high, breath leaving her in a series of short, sharp exhales, forehead pressing hard to your shoulder. 

You feel her legs tremble on either side of yours, her grip on your neck slackening as the tension bleeds out of her all at once. You keep her close, hand softening its motion until you’re just holding her, cupping her through the aftershocks, stroking gently as her body settles.

“Jesus,” she mumbles, and it’s not even to you, not entirely. It’s like she’s just trying to remember how to speak again.

You press a kiss to her hairline. “You’re alright. You’re okay.”

She nods– barely a movement– but doesn’t lift her head. Her arms are still looped loosely around your shoulders, and her weight is slumped into you like she doesn’t have the energy– or maybe the will– to pull away.

You shift a little, just enough to sit more comfortably against the tree. Natalie doesn't protest when your hand settles on the small of her back again, fingers splayed out. She stays there, chest against yours, breathing still a little uneven. Her lashes brush your neck.

You think maybe she’s falling asleep like that, but then you feel the slow drag of her thumb over the curve of your shoulder, lazy, bashful.

“Thanks,” she murmurs, so low you almost miss it.

You tilt your head, lips twitching. “For what, exactly?”

She gives a snort of laughter. “Oh, fuck off. You know.”

You don’t say anything at first. Just tighten your arms around her a bit more and smile into her hair.

“You’re welcome,” you finally say. “You needed it.”

After a moment, she pulls back just enough to glance at you, cheeks pink but not from the summer heat this time. She looks down between you, then back up through her lashes. “I could, um… I mean if you want, I could maybe—” 

She clears her throat, suddenly self-conscious in a way you rarely see from her. “Only if you want.”

You’re about to answer— honestly, maybe kiss her again just for how fucking cute that was— when a voice cuts through the trees, shrill and oblivious:

“Natalie? Natalie! Hello? You guys have been gone all morning and Shauna and Mari are fighting over shit bucket duty again and I really need help cleaning the animal pelts–”

It’s Misty, of course. Her bright yellow coat bobs between branches like a frantic canary.

Natalie groans and drops her forehead to your shoulder with a muffled, “Fucking Quigley.”

You laugh, rubbing soothing circles between her shoulder blades. “Guess that’s our cue.”

She doesn’t move. “Do we have to?”

“Unfortunately,” you say, kissing the top of her head. “C’mon, Your Highness. Duty calls.”

She sighs dramatically, then shifts off your lap, fixing her hair with a quick brush of her fingers. Before she stands, she leans in and pecks your cheek, fast but warm. 

“Later,” she says, like a promise, before she’s shuffling aside to grab her boots and shuck them back on– and fix her jeans where the waistband has been stretched to sit low on her hips. 

Misty emerges not a moment later, announcing herself with an: “aha, there you are!”

Natalie rolls her eyes so hard you think she might dislocate something, muttering a pointed “mhm”, but you catch the little smile still gracing her lips from earlier.

“What were you guys even doing for so long?” Misty prattles on as you both stand to follow her back to camp, “Re-setting the snares? Did you catch anything? Oh! I actually heard that leaving trails of food is better than just putting it right in the middle of the trap–”

You’re both a little too fucked, so you just nod along and chime in when appropriate. 

You do, anyways. Instead of paying attention, Natalie gives you a sidelong smirk as her fingers graze yours once, twice, then stay, laced, thumb circling a knuckle slowly. 

Butterflies swarm your stomach as you flush all the way to your ears.

You’re going to be hard-pressed for sleep tonight.

[catssluvr]

movies, nat scatorccio

nerdy!nat scatorccio x reader

in which nat finally musters the courage to ask you out.

warnings: none, pure fluff <3

⭑.ᐟ ⭑.ᐟ

Natalie feels her hands grow damp with sweat as she walks through the school halls. She’s lost the count of how many times she’s already wiped them on her pants.

You’re by your locker, expression focused as if you’re looking for something. The slight pout on your lips makes it adorable, not to mention your hair looks so beautiful - as always, she thinks.

It would be a lie to say she didnt try to do her makeup extra nicely today, knowing her interaction with you would be the highlight of the day.

She has to clear her throat once by your side, making you jump slightly.

“Hi- sorry!” She exclaims apologetically, rather awkwardly. Her hand reaches to steady you by the shoulder, almost instinctively.

“Nat! Hi.” You smile with teeth, voice so sweet she swears it almost makes her melt.

“I- uhm- got you the vhs you asked for.” Nat says, biting her lips nervously as she motions to the tapes in her hands.

Working at the vhs store has never been more handy and the last thing she would’ve thought was that it would help her get closer to you.

“Right. About that, i totally forgot to bring money to pay for it.” You answer with a sad smile, looking more embarrassed than she’s ever seen.

“That’s okay - i mean you’re just renting anyway so no one will notice.” She brushes it off with what is supposed to be a cool scoff.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me.” You retort, unsure.

“I won’t.” She insists, pushing them into your hands without waiting for an answer.

“Okay. Well, i’m sorry anyway.” You slip the tapes into your locker, closing it and turning fully to look at her.

“Don’t be.” Nat says gently, tucking her hair behind her ear shyly as she feels your gaze burning into her skin.

“Can i do anything to make up for it?” You ask tentatively, eyes hopeful that she will say yes.

Her brains feels like it has lost all ability to process anything, want so badly to give you an answer that she knows will be bold coming from her.

“Oh- no! All good.” She ends up saying, mentally face palming when your face drops for a small second.

“I’ll see you in third period, then?” You start walking, throwing her a small smile as she nods before turning away.

Nat feels so stupid, it can’t be possible that she just ruined her chance on asking you out. Just like she had planed all week morning.

“Wait!” She yells a bit to loudly, practically sprinting towards you like a puppy again.

You wait for her to continue, surprised written all over your face.

“There’s this very good horror movie playing in the cinema on saturday.” She blurts, “You could come with me- as making up, course.” Nat adds.

“Yeah? Sounds great” You smile brightly at the request.

“I can pick you up at 7, too. The movie’s at 8:30 but we can get some dinner before.” She fidgets with her fingers nervously. “If you want to, obviously.”

“It’s a date.” You lean in slightly, kissing her cheek gently and linger your lips for a second more there.

You walk away before she’s stable enough to muster a reaction, her cheeks red with a flaming blush as she reaches to place her hand atop of it.

It might just be the best day of her whole life.

[lulunothulu]

“Phone neighbor”

Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Reader

Summary: You’re bored one night and decide to text your phone neighbor…who happens to be a very hot (and cocky) aviator.

Content: drinking, fluff

Friday nights are so boring. Especially when you have nothing to do for the night.

Your friend, Natasha, invited you to go to the bar she and her aviator buddies frequent. Hard Deck, was that the name? Who knows. Either way, you didn’t think hitting a bar right now would do you much good.

You’d been in a reclusive and lonely mood all week but right now, you were feeling adventurous.

You pull your phone out of your pocket and dial the first nine digits of your number but changed the last number to the following one that came after yours.

Let’s play a game of phone number neighbor.

You: Hi, so this is random, but you’re my number neighbor.

Them: Oh really?

You: Yes… so you’re from Texas too?

Them: Born and raised in Austin.

You: That’s so cool, I was raised in El Paso and Houston.

Them: Nice! Are you still there?

You: Nah, I’m in California. How about you?

Them: Funny enough, I’m in California too. I’m in the Navy, a pilot 🤠

You: Oh shit! You might know my friend, Natasha Trace.

———

Jake smiled down at his phone. “Hey Phoenix!”

Nat turns around, rolling her eyes at him. “What?”

“I think I just met your friend.”

“What?” She looks around. “Where? And who?”

“I don’t know their name, let me ask,” he says. He looks down at his phone, sending a quick text before smiling and telling her your name.

“Holy shit!” She laughs.

“Is she single?” Jake asks.

“She is actually…give me a second.”

———

“Hello?” You say, answering your phone.

“What the hell are you doing?” Nat asks.

You can hear the noise and chatter coming from the bar you knew she’d be at.

“I’m at home doing a face mask,” you tell her.

“No I mean, with Hangman,” she tells you.

“Who’s Hangman?”

“The person you’re texting?” She laughs.

Hangman: So you know Phoenix? How?

You: We grew up together. She’s practically my sister.

“Hey, he’s texting me right now,” you tell her.

“I have an idea.”

Hangman: What do you look like?

You: I’ll send you a picture of you send me one too.

Hangman: What? You want proof?

You: Sure, let’s call it that.

Hangman: [Picture]

Hangman: I’m on the left, that’s Bob in the middle, and Fanboy on the end.

Hangman: Your turn.

You smile, sending him a picture of you with your green face mask, hand up in a peace sign and lips in a duck face position.

Hangman: That’s not what I expected but still hot.

Hangman: Wait a second… did Nat call you?

You: Maybe…

[Incoming call from ‘Hangman’]

“Hello?”

“Hey, mask lady. Nat!” You hear him say. His voice is deep and southern drawl thick. “Tell your friend to send me a real picture of her.”

“Y/N?” You hear her say.

“Hey, Nat.”

“Send this pretty boy your face. He’s desperate and threatening to make me drive him to your house.”

You laugh. “Fine. Should I send the one with my tits pushed up?”

“Jesus Christ, tell her yes.” You hear Hangman say in the background.

“Tell him that I’ll send him a normal one and to stop listening to our conversation,” you tell Nat. “Actually, pass him back.”

“Hi,” you hear Hangman say.

“Hi back, cowboy,” you reply.

“I like that nickname, makes me sound a lot cooler than I am,” he tells you.

You laugh. “I’d like to know your real name, and not your callsign.”

“I’m Jake. Jake Seresin,” he tells you. “You don’t have to tell me your name. I already know.”

“Yeah I figured that much,” you mutter.

“When can I see you in person?” He asks.

“When are you free?” You smile and bite your lip.

“How about now? Come to Hard Deck.”

“I don’t really do bars…”

“Then I’ll come to you. What’s your address?”

You laugh. “I don’t even know you like that. What if you’re a psycho?”

“I wouldn’t be a top pilot in the navy sweetheart.” You chuckle, making him wait before he asks, “Soooo can I come over?”

“Have you been drinking?”

“Not really,” he tells you.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“You can come over. But bring food, I’m starving.” You tell him.

“Same,” he tells you. “And it’ll give you enough time to get ready and wash that face mask off.”

Fuck I forgot about that.

“I’ll see you soon.”

———

A face wash, makeup application, and teeth brushing later, you hear Hangman—Jake—ring the doorbell.

After changing into some cute sweats, you run downstairs and answer the door.

“Hey,” you say.

“Hey yourself,” he says. He’s a lot taller than you thought he’d be. And a lot hotter than you thought too. He holds up a bag of takeout and a gym bag. “I brought food and a change of clothes.”

He’s wearing his khaki Aviation uniform still.

“Yeah, come on in.” You step to the side, allowing him to come in. “Bathroom’s down the hall and to the left.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” he smiles.

God his smile made him so much hotter.

When he comes back from the bathroom changed and in gray sweatpants and a Texas Longhorns shirt, you smile and wave him over to your couch.

“What’re you watching?” He asks.

“Nothing that the moment,” you tell him. “I was waiting for you.”

“How sweet.” He smiles. “This has to be the best first date I’ve a been on in a long time.”

“Who said this was a date?” You ask, raising your eyebrows.

“Oh, did I assume?” He cockily smirks at you which makes your cheeks turn red. “And from the way you’re blushing, I’d say you’d like this to be a date.”

“Shut up,” you mutter, a smile playing on your lips.

Two hours later, Jake is still at your place and your head is resting on his shoulder.

“That was a cute movie,” he tells you. “Why did I cry so much?”

“Because Toy Story 3 is ruthless,” you sigh, wiping your eyes.

“Either way, I don’t think I can sleep if we don’t watch something else.”

You sit up and face him. “Why? You too sad to leave?”

“No, I don’t want to leave yet,” he says truthfully. “Plus, it’s my turn to choose a movie.”

“Which is?”

“Legally Blonde.”

You smile, scoffing before laughing and shaking your head. “You surprise me.”

“In a good way, I hope.”

“Definitely,” you nod.

“Can I surprise you one more time?” He asks, voice barely over a whisper.

You shrug and smirk. “Depends on what it is.”

He places a hand on your cheek, snaking his fingers to the back of your neck.

“Can I ask you one more thing?”

“That counts as a question,” you whisper.

He chuckles. “That one doesn’t count.”

“Go ahead.”

He takes a deep breath, leaning in close to the point his nose touches your own. Your heart is pounding, excitement and anticipation flowing through your body.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please do.”

So he does, soft and sweet at first. That is, until you pull his head in, deepening the kiss. Your mouths race, devouring and exploring every inch of your mouths. You shift your body, straddling Jake’s lap and wrapping your arms around his neck, something you notice feels so normal, you don’t want it to end.

“Take me upstairs.” You order.

“Yes ma’am.”

[hurtspideyparker]

Part 2 of Mundane Avengers Headcanons

Part 1

- Clint gets paper cuts way too often and is oddly defensive about it. "Oh no is that a paper cut—" "YES GODAMMIT." "..."

- Steve gets hangry. It is obvious to everyone but him. He will deny the accusation and eat the protein bar being handed to him anyways (he feels immediately better)

- Natasha likes to snack on chips, and will buy whatever random flavour she can find. Garlic bread? Okay. Thanksgiving dinner? Sure thing. Ghost pepper? Most definitely, especially when Clint steals a handful without paying attention

- Tony likes to have Floor Time™ where he will just lie on the floor if he gets tired or overwhelmed. It happens a lot in the kitchen because he gets decision fatigue. Bruce and Nat ignore him, Steve always asks if he's alright, and Clint just lies down with him

- Bruce pretends not to hear when Tony is struggling in the lab or when his friends are fighting because he will Keep His Peace at all costs ✌️

- Clint's favourite song is Wonderwall and when Tony finds out he clowns him for it for two months straight (until Thor visits and wants to hear the song and becomes obsessed, playing it constantly when he's with them much to Clint's amusement and Tony's torture)

- Bucky hogs the blanket every movie night. Doesn't matter how early they get there he will find a way to get to it first or steal it

- If Natasha spends a while doing her hair and there's a piece that won't cooperate she will simply cut it off (like a hair sticking out of a braid). What it looks like unstyled is none of her business 

- Peter crawls up stairs when he's alone—on all fours, running up them like a bear. (One time Clint is going down and sees Peter crawling full speed up at him and screams so loud Steve thinks a little girl is in danger and comes rushing to the rescue)

- Natasha and Tony watch Jeopardy together and get incredibly competitive

- Thor will hug everyone goodbye, including people he just met and complete strangers. "I'm sure it would have been nice to know you! :D". It takes a reallllly long time 

- Bruce is the king of Irish goodbyes (leaving without letting anyone know)

- Steve checks himself out in mirrored surfaces but NEVER if someone can see him do it. He is not afraid to gaslight if caught

- Clint bakes quite a bit, and everyone is thrown off by it. "I don't like to bake, I like to eat homemade cookies. There's a difference."

- Rhodey is actually a total menace but because he's a military guy and always compared to Tony he seems tame

- Sam sings in the shower every time. Doesn't matter if he's in a hotel, sharing, at home. It's every single time

- Peter says things like 'awesome' 'sick' 'epic' 'cool' constantly and about practically everything. butterfly on windowsill, extra chicken nugget in meal, giant aircraft on front lawn—all epic

- Bucky hates pop radio. For this reason you will never catch him in a mall or a club

[the-oblivious-writer]

With Her I Die |3|

Past J.T to Eventual S.S x Female Reader

Chapter Three: Skinning Survival

warnings: hunting/animal death, blood and gore (animal butchering), suicidal ideation (subtle), survivor's guilt, past death, and grief/loss

taglist: @morganismspam23

masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

The woods are different in winter. Everything feels closer, more compressed without the buffer of foliage. Sound travels strangely—sometimes swallowed completely by snow, other times carrying with startling clarity. You feel exposed and hidden simultaneously, a contradiction that suits your fractured state of mind.

Natalie moves ahead of you, her steps purposeful yet silent. She holds the rifle with a casual confidence that you've come to recognize as part of her armor. You follow behind, knife strapped to your thigh, the weight of it both reassuring and terrifying.

"Travis usually spots while I shoot," Nat says without looking back. "You good with that arrangement, or you wanna switch it up?"

You just nod, then remember she can't see you. "Spotting's fine."

Your voice sounds wrong in your ears—brittle, unused. You've barely spoken to anyone except Shauna in weeks. Even then, your conversations are more silence than words, an unspoken language of grief that only the two of you understand.

"Cool. Your eyes are probably better anyway. Mine are fucked from the pills."

Natalie doesn't sugarcoat things. It's why you agreed to come with her today when Shauna suggested it. No pitying looks. No careful dancing around Jackie's name. No suffocating concern.

The rabbit is small—too small, really—but it's the first thing you've seen in hours. You point, a quick gesture that Nat catches immediately. She raises the rifle, breathes once, twice, then pulls the trigger.

The crack echoes through the trees, and somewhere far away a flock of birds takes flight. The rabbit doesn't move again.

"Nice shot," you say, and mean it.

Nat's mouth quirks up. "Don't sound so surprised."

You retrieve the animal, its body still warm through your gloves. Something shifts in your chest—not quite pain, not quite relief.

"We should keep moving," Nat says. "Daylight's burning."

By mid-afternoon, you've added two more rabbits and a scrawny squirrel to your collection. Not the bounty you'd hoped for, but better than returning empty-handed. Food has become precious, portions smaller with each passing day.

"Let's head back," Nat suggests. "Before it gets too dark."

The walk back is mostly silent. You're both conserving energy, saving breath in the cold air. But as the outline of the cabin appears through the trees, Nat stops suddenly.

"I didn't say it before, but... I'm glad you came today." She doesn't look at you directly. "Travis gets too in his head sometimes. Makes too much noise."

You understand what she's not saying: You know how to be quiet. You know how to disappear.

"Thanks for asking me," you reply, the words feeling strange on your tongue.

Nat gives a quick nod. "Yeah, well. Someone's gotta make sure you don't sleepwalk into a fucking ravine."

You stiffen at the mention of your nighttime wanderings. "Shauna talk to you about that?"

"She's worried. We all are."

"I'm fine."

Nat snorts. "Yeah, sure. We're all fine." She pronounces the word like it's poisonous. "That's why we're starving in the middle of nowhere. That's why we've already lost almost half our team. That's why we wake up screaming. That's why you're digging up graves in the middle of the night."

Her bluntness hits like a slap. You feel your defenses rising, that familiar anger bubbling up. "Fuck you."

"No, fuck you," Nat says, but there's no real heat in it. "You think you're the only one who lost someone out here? You think you're the only one who feels guilty?"

You start walking again, faster now, wanting to escape this conversation.

"Look, I'm not trying to be a bitch," Nat continues, keeping pace. "I'm just saying... we're all fucked up. But at least some of us are trying."

"And I'm not?" The words come out sharper than intended.

"Are you?" Nat's question hangs in the cold air between you.

------

In the cabin, you don't wait for anyone to ask. You take the animals outside to the makeshift table—a flat rock Shauna normally uses for butchering—and pull out your knife. Your hands are steady as you begin to work, stripping fur from flesh with methodical precision.

You feel Shauna's eyes on you from the cabin doorway, but she doesn't approach. This is something you need to do alone.

The work is gruesome but straightforward. There's a simplicity to it that calms your racing thoughts. Blood stains the snow at your feet, vibrant against the white. You remember other blood, other snow—Jackie's blue lips, her still chest. You push the memory down, focusing on the task at hand.

I can do this for us. I can provide this.

It's the least you can do, after everything. After the things you said. After failing to bring her inside that night.

By the time you finish, your fingers are numb despite your gloves, and the light has faded to a dusky gray. You gather the meat—pathetically little when laid out—and bring it inside.

The cabin falls quiet as you enter. You feel their eyes on you—Taissa's curiosity, Van's surprise, Shauna's cautious hope. You hand the meat to Misty without meeting anyone's gaze.

"Protein," you say simply. "Not much, but it's something."

Later, as the meager stew simmers, Shauna sits beside you, her shoulder touching yours. She doesn't speak, but her hand finds yours under the blanket you're sharing, fingers intertwining with quiet understanding.

"Nat said you did good out there," she finally murmurs. "Said you have a steady hand."

You don't respond, but you don't pull away either. It's the closest thing to peace you've felt in weeks.

That night, you dream of Jackie again. But this time, she isn't walking away. She's sitting beside you, those perfect fingers tracing patterns on your skin.

"You've got blood under your nails," she says.

"I know. I can't get it out."

"Did you kill something?" There's no judgment in her voice, just curiosity.

"To survive," you tell her. "We have to eat."

She nods, as if this makes perfect sense. "Are you angry with me still?"

"Yes," you admit. "I'm so fucking angry. And sad. And lost."

"I know." Jackie's smile is gentle. "You were always so good at feeling everything all at once. I envied that about you."

"I thought you hated it."

"I never hated anything about you," she says. "Even when I said I did."

You reach for her, but your hands pass through her like smoke. "I miss you so much it's killing me."

"Don't let it," Jackie whispers. "Please don't let it."

You wake with tears freezing on your cheeks, Shauna's arm around your waist anchoring you to the present. Outside, the wind howls through the trees, carrying secrets and sorrow in equal measure. But for the first time in weeks, you don't feel the pull to follow it, to dig your hands into the frozen earth where Jackie lies.

Instead, you turn into Shauna's warmth and close your eyes, allowing yourself to drift back toward sleep. Tomorrow, you think, you'll ask Nat if you can go hunting again. Tomorrow, you'll try to stay among the living for a little while longer.

[just-writing-a-bit]

Who says I don't care?

Natasha Romanoff x female reader

Summary: Y/n is part of the Avengers for a while, but no one really paid attention to her. She feels like she's alone in all of her training and with her thoughts. One night, she goes out on a run, getting lost and returning home later than planned and injured. Natasha noticed her staying away for too long and takes care of her, despite Y/n trying to brush it off at first. Word count: 3.047

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pov y/n

Natasha has never paid much attention to me. So, I'm surprised when she looks up now as I walk past the kitchen. There is no one else around, the others somewhere scattered around the compound.

"Going for a nightly run, huh?" Nat asks, her eyes darting over my workout clothes, settling on the headlamp I wear. "Or trying to rob someone?"

I don't know what it is about her, why she doesn't care at all. I don't expect to become besties with her but I thought she might be nice and happy to have another woman on the team. But apparently, she couldn't care less. I've tried to be nice and become her friend but her constant remarks and sarcastic comments eventually made me give up. I simply roll my eyes at her. She chuckles amused at my reaction, not taking me very serious. So much about making friends when joining the Avengers.

When I joined them half a year ago, I thought it would be nice, we'd be a team and save the world together. Instead, Natasha hates me and Steve drags me to training every morning. His training plan is hard and leaves me exhausted on the regular. On days where we don't train together, he gave me the homework to go running to keep my stamina up. I skipped that once and the next time had to listen to him lecturing me, so I won't be risking that again.

Today has been really busy though and I've been sitting at my desk most of the time, writing reports, sorting files and digitalizing other files. This part of being an Avenger truly doesn't make me feel like a hero, more like someone at an office job. I hoped for this to be cool but it's a bit of a let down so far. Nonetheless, I hope to help people one day and give them hope when they see me, so I keep pushing myself.

Natasha glances toward the window in the kitchen, darkness mirroring her face back at her. It may be late and I am a bit tired but I will pull through and go to bed right after. Whatever Natasha thinks, she keeps it to herself and I keep walking, heading out of the compound. Going running in the dark isn't my favorite but running track in the gym drives me insane. The same circle over and over again. Makes me feel like a hamster in a wheel.

The air is cold as I step out, but I know it won't bother me once I start running and warm up. I already did my stretching, so I'm ready to go. My steps are soft against the gravel path leading me away from the compound, my headlight the only source of light despite the moon and a few starts. The air smells fresh, the rain from earlier today still hanging in the air. The smell is nice, calming.

I run for quite a while, getting lost in my thoughts and when I slow to a stop to orientate myself, I find myself lost. My breath is still fast from running as I spin around, trying to figure out where I am. There are trees lining the path to my right and an open field to my left. Definitely no place I feel very safe.

I keep moving, even if it's just slow steps, my eyes darting around along with the ball of light coming from my headlamp. The longer I look around, the more panic unfurls inside me. Shit! I really got too lost in my thoughts to keep track of the path. That only happened once before but it was in daylight, so I could easily make my way back but now I can't look far enough to see anything familiar.

I take deep breaths, trying to stay calm but the nerves in my body are raging, every possible bad scenario playing out in my mind. Even a shake of my head doesn't help and I ball my hands into fists.

How could I be so mindless?

The smartest thing to do is probably turn around and take the way back. It has been straight for a while now, so I can't get lost that way. I turn around, my eyes still darting around, trying to assess my surroundings. My heart beats fast but more from fear than exercising. Being lost in the dark is one of my few fears. So much could be happening without my knowledge and I can only react to the things right in front of me. Like a branch reaching onto the path. I bend it away with one hand, glancing around.

The sudden crack in the tree line to my left makes my heart jump, startling me. I jump into action, getting into the stance Steve reminds me of each training session. The branch snaps back into its original position striking me sharply across the face and I wince at the sudden pain. I'm really not in my best condition today. But jumping into the stance was an instinct, one that made me forget about the branch.

I wince again, my face heating as pain pulses through my face. I bite my lip to keep myself from making further noise, not wanting to sound like prey. Instead, I sidestep the branch and keep running again. My mind is overwhelmed with so much happening at once, so many feelings. But I can't break down now. Not here.

For what feels like eternity, I wander around, trying to figure out where to go while keeping my emotions at bay. My face stings and hurts, it still feels like the branch is pushing against my face, even if it's not. Goosebumps have erupted on my arms, but not from the cold. Not just, at least. I hate myself for not taking my phone with me. Usually, it bothers me and I don't listen to music anyway. I want to hear the steady sound of my steps and nature and running is the best moment to clear my head and think. Now, I would be grateful for a phone though. 

Eventually, I spot the compound again, letting out a relieved breath and speeding up, wanting to be inside and safe again. By now, my face is throbbing and I am not sure I want to see what the branch did. It certainly isn't pretty.

Exhausted physically and mentally, I enter the compound and head for the living quarters. Once I'm in my room, I can rest and cry.

I pass by the living room area, noticing the light on. Out of curiosity, I slow my step and glance inside. When I see red hair, I roll my eyes, no one helpful. Not that the others are necessarily warm towards me but at least they acknowledge me.

Natasha turns in the armchair. "That was a long run," she comments as she turns around, her eyes fixing on mine. For a second and probably the first time since I met her, her face drops with some kind of emotion. Something else than distance and smugness.

"What happened?" She asks instead of making a comment like I expected. I wave it of, too exhausted to explain and not in the mood for her sarcasm. I turn on my heal, walking down the hallway, yearning for my bed.

"That looks bad. Did someone attack you?" Natasha asks, her voice softer than I'm used too. Just hearing her talk again is a surprise but together with this slight hint of worry, it's weird.

"No," I answer shortly, not in the mood to relive the moment. Steps follow me and I wonder why she is so persistent all of the sudden. It's not like she cares. "What happened then?" she continues asking. I'm not sure if I'm annoyed by it or feel a little touched.

But then, she never really paid attention to me before, so this feels like a game. I simply shrug, dismissing her question while fighting my own uprising feelings. A soft hand around my wrist holds me back and Nat steps into my vision again. Her expression is surprisingly soft, something I've never seen before.

"Hey, what happened? That looks bad," she eyes my face, her fingers still curled around my wrist. They are warm and almost comforting. Her touch confuses my already messy mind. For a second I consider giving into the comfort, accepting it. But then I remember she probably doesn't really care and pull my hand out of hers.

"Happened during my run," is all I tell her, heading further to my room, fighting the uprising tears. All of this is too much. The fear of being alone in the dark, the feeling of being lost, the throbbing of my face and the exhaustion in my body.

"One doesn't get a red stripe like that on a normal run," Natasha points out, her steps following me. Why is she so persistent? I ignore her, not sure if my voice will stay steady if I talk.

"And you usually don't run for that long. Something must have happened." My irritation at her constant words snap and I spin around, tears pricking in my eyes.

"Why do you care, Romanoff? You don't care about me at all! Why now?" For a second she looks taken aback but then her features soften and she takes a step closer to me.

"Who says I don't care?" She asks and I huff, allowing the first tear to fall. It stings when reaching the spot where I was hit by the branch but I ignore that.

"You show it in the way you act. Message received. Now, just go..." My voice gets weaker as my emotions get stronger, threatening to spill over with force.

Natasha keeps watching me, worry showing on her face. I can't look at her any longer, so I turn away, hiding my tears.

"I do care," she almost whispers. I shake my head, at the verge of a breakdown. She doesn't, she never has and never will.

"I do," she insists and a warm hand is placed on my back.

As if that was all it takes, my composure breaks and I start crying, every emotion pulsing through me in strong waves. All the fear, the pain, the loneliness, the confusion, the exhaustion.

Natasha is very quick to wrap her arms around me, holding me as my knees give up. Her embrace is warm but I barely register that and for a moment I don't care who she is and just bury my face in her shoulder, shaking while I cry.

Her hand soothingly rubs up and down my back while the other cradles the back of my head. I cry into her shirt, feeling the stinging of the stripe on my face increasing, adding to everything.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here," she whispers as if this was normal for us. As if she hasn't ignored me for the most part of half a year. My legs grow weak but she catches me without a problem. "Shhh, it's okay, you're okay. We'll get you to your room and take care of that injury, okay?"

All I manage is to nod and then follow her slow steps, guiding me backwards through the hallway. I continue crying, my emotions flowing out of me, her arms strong and securely around me. They bring a comfort I didn't expect at all. We reach my room and Natasha carefully settles me on my bed. My tears have stopped and I only feel exhausted and vulnerable now.

"Let's get you cleaned up, so nothing gets infected." She smiles softly at me, a sight I never saw before. All I can do is nod though, too exhausted to do anything else or to protest. For a moment, she disappears into my attached bathroom and comes back with a wet cloth.

"It may sting at first but I promise, it'll be better soon," she says gently, sitting down next to me.

With her free hand, she gently takes my chin, tilting my head into her direction. Our eyes meet. Hers are soft, almost warm. I've never seen them like this and that's confusing me a lot. I want to know what she thinks, why she is helping me. But I don't have the mental or emotional capacity to have that kind of talk now. With the cloth, she begins to dab at my wound. I bite my lip, the slight stinging not pleasant.

"How did this happen? One doesn't get a stripe like this just from being outside." She pulls the cloth away to look at me, concern on her face and a dab of blood on the cloth.

"I was running and got lost..." I trail off, shivering at the memory. "There was a low hanging branch and it snapped into my face when I didn't pay attention." Natasha hums, pressing the cooling cloth back on my face. I'm surprised she doesn't laugh because that's not very hero like and sounds so stupid.

"The blood should dry soon and with a bit of cooling, the swelling will go back too," she tells me, her fingers still holding my chin, the small bit of comfort I get from it soothing my emotions a little. Even if I can't comprehend this whole situation, I allow myself to feel this way because if I don't, I might just break down again.

Comfort is all I've been seeking for since I started this program. It's hard and I fell in bed with an aching body for almost the entirety of the first month. There was so much frustration as well and small injuries. All I wanted was to be hugged by someone, to just get the smallest hint of comfort.

But that doesn't seem like something the Avengers do. Steve always told me to brush it off and Tony merely rolled his eyes when I was complaining. Empathy isn't their strong suit really. Natasha never showed any emotion either and I started to feel alone. The goal of helping people still in my mind, so I bit through it. Finally getting a sense of comfort is what my body has been craving and I don't care about who it's from anymore. Even if it's just for tonight and a one-time-thing, it's still better than nothing at all.

"You shouldn't run alone in the dark anymore," she says softly, so very different from the lectures I usually get from Steve. I'm not used to soft and gentle anymore, but it feels really good. I look into her eyes that assess my face as she continues cooling it. "But I have to keep exercising."

Natasha just hums and locks eyes with me. "Okay. The next time you go out for a run in the dark, you let me know and I'll join you."

The protectiveness in her voice catches me off-guard. "What?"

"I don't like you getting hurt or the thought of you getting lost in the dark. It's not a peaceful place out there. So, the next time you go on a run at night, you let me know and I come with you, making sure you return home safely." Warmth spreads in my chest at her words, the sense of comfort growing. Running with her could be nice, if she stays like this. If she goes back to her cold and distant demeanor, I am not so sure about it. But not having to worry about getting lost sounds nice and for the first time in half a year, I don't feel alone anymore.

"I will," I reply silently. She nods with a soft expression and pulls the cloth again, studying my face.

"The swelling isn't quite gone but is better now. With some rest, you will feel better tomorrow. Besides, you look exhausted." She reaches out and gently tugs a strain of hair behind my ear, the action so surprisingly gently, that I don't know how to react. Natasha gets up and brings the cloth into the bathroom before returning.

"If you need me, you know where my room is. Right?" I hesitate. Of course, I know where her room is. All our rooms have our names on the door. But just the thought of lying in the dark by myself sends cold shivers down my spine. Being alone in the darkness is the last thing I want. I'm aware that I am in no position to make this request but now seems the best moment.

"Stay with me?" I ask silently, feeling incredibly vulnerable. Natasha takes a moment to reply and I expect her to deny and leave but then she nods. "Okay, I can stay with you if that'll make you feel better?"

I nod, relieved I don't have to be alone for the night. I get off the bed and gesture for her to get comfortable before quickly changing in my bathroom. When I get back out, Natasha is in my bed, watching me. It's strange to see the big bed not empty. But also nice, knowing I don't have to be alone with my emotions for once. I slip in on my side and snuggle into the blanket, the comfort of her sheer presence soothing my earlier worry.

"Thank you," I say, looking at her. She gives me another one of her soft and rare smiles.

"You're welcome. Now rest, you deserve it and I will handle Steve tomorrow morning. After tonight, you deserve the training pushed back." My heart feels soft at her words, her looking out for me like no one else did so far.

The protectiveness in her voice isn't lost on me either and I wonder what that's about. But I don't ask, not wanting to ruin the moment. Instead, I smile at her before closing my eyes. She shuffles in bed next to me, switches off the light and then gets comfortable. I feel something against my knee, something of her but I can't tell what. It brings me comfort nonetheless though and I slip into sleep, feeling a lot better than I did when returning to the compound.

A/n: This is my first post here, so hi? I hope you liked this one shot, it seemed like a good one to start with :D

[returnofeternity]

Heyy can you make a oneshot with Lottie in the wildness preferably in season 2 after Shauna beats her and Lottie needs someone to care for her??

· · 𐂂 · ·

you're the first to check up on lottie after shauna storms out of the cabin, holding her frail and beaten body up as she chokes out chunks of her own blood. her skin is an ugly purple, and your heart sinks at how close to death she looks.

you mutter out frantically as the rest of the girls kneel down to help her stand up, trying to let them know that you need to take her up to the attic. you let mari and nat hold her as you rush over to the ladder first, climbing up and waiting anxiously as they carry her limp body up the stairs. you hold her under her armpits and drag her up the rest of the way and gently place her on shauna's bedding. how ironic.

mari, nat, and the rest of them soon pile into the attic, surrounding lottie with worried looks and frantic words.

"we should clean her up first. misty, or whoever the fuck, get me a rag and a bucket." you don't know when you decide to be in charge around here, but for a second, it's nice seeing half of them scramble down the stairs and following your orders.

as you wait for them to return, you hold onto lottie and try to get her blood-stained hair out of her eyes, your face grimacing at how quickly her face is swelling up. jesus, shauna went all in. you feel rage boil in your stomach as you think about how she only came out of this with some bruised knuckles.

lottie coughs up blood again, some of it splattering onto your face. your heart stops when she quits moving after her coughing fit, unnerving still and seemingly not breathing.

"lott?" you shake her. "lottie? hey, c'mon."

everything is quiet for a moment as you hold your breath and analyze her face, looking for any sign of life in her. you grow desperate and clutch her chest where her heart is, something she did to travis when he was having his panic attack. you feel something, a very faint and very weak beat, and you release your breath shakily as you prop her to sit up.

· · 𐂂 · ·

when she's all cleaned up, her deep purple face now a pale-reddish one, you still stay by her side.

you've been up half the night just watching over her and making sure that she's still breathing. you helped her up to pee, the disgusting smell of copper still in your nostrils as you play mindlessly with the fur on her coat. you helped her drink some water, telling her over and over again how sorry you are because she was in so much pain trying to swallow it down. you blushed brightly after she mumbled out what you thought was a "thank you" before she succumbed back into her sleep.

you think this is the most you've interacted with lottie since you met her.

it's funny how it took all this for you to finally crack your shell and talk to her. well, not funny at all, actually, she almost died. maybe is dying.

her small mumbles break you out of your thoughts, and you retract your hand in embarrassment as she grunts and rolls over, her hand clawing at her fur coat. her right eye, the only one that isn't swollen shut, opens, and she looks at you.

"off..." she mutters weakly, fingers fumbling with her zipper.

you nod and unzip her coat, carefully helping her out of it and placing it to the side. your hands hover over her second sweater, wondering if you should unbutton it for her too. she did feel burning hot a while ago, maybe she needs some cooling off?

you decide on it, and you unbutton her sweater before leaning over and grabbing the rag, dipping it in the lukewarm water. "do you need anything else?" you wipe her face, carefully dragging the rag over her swollen cheeks as you dab off some dried blood.

she shakes her head, slumping back onto the bed of blankets and pillows, and letting out a ragged breath. you feel your heart spike at how rough it sounds, nervousness settling in your bones.

you continue cooling her off with the rag, watching her very closely.

she speaks up again after a few moments. "you should... be down with the others where it's warm."

"i'm fine." you lie, shaking your head at her. you're freezing cold up here. you're pretty sure your toes have fallen off, or at least it feels like it. "i'm more worried about you. we're worried about you, i mean."

"even shauna," you continue, cheeks heating up at your little slip-up. "she came up here last night. i don't know if you heard her, but she was worried."

"i want you to put my body to use." she tells you, reaching out to hold your hand. you pull away in shock, but she grabs it again and holds as tightly as she can. "promise me."

you frown. "no. you're not gonna die, lottie. i'm not gonna let that happen. you'll be okay." you hate how considerate she always is. it's probably the thing you love most about her.

"promise me." she repeats.

you don't say anything for a while. you just avoid looking into her eyes and mess with the rag.

"you probably wouldn't taste that good, considering you might have a kidney infection." you mumble, glancing up at her face to gauge her reaction.

she smiles, or at least attempts to with her face all sore and swollen, and releases your hand. it makes you feel good that you got her to be happy, and you drop the rag back into the bucket of water.

"do you wanna try walking around again? you can almost walk without my help. you're getting better." you get on your knees, holding your hand out for her.

she sits up slowly, having a little trouble with the pain, and grabs onto your hand. "thank you for taking care of me. you're really good at it."

[natsaffection]

Walking through fire. | N.R

Natasha Romanoff x Firefighter!Reader

Warnings: Dealing with Break up

Word count: 5,7k

A/n: Hello! The request idea started because the person has been looking for a similar fic for a while. So if you know of one that is similar, please let me know! So please don't be surprised, I didn't copy it. 🫶🏼🫶🏼

You stepped out of the fire truck, adrenaline still pulsing through your veins, even as the cool evening air settled over the fire station. The last call had been intense. A warehouse fire that threatened to spread to nearby buildings. But, as always, your team had handled it professionally. A small smile tugged at your lips as you walked back to the station, the gear clinking softly with each step.

You were the only woman on your team, which had initially caused some concern among some of the older men when you joined. But you quickly proved yourself, not only as capable but as one of the best. Over time, you earned their respect, and in many ways, you became the heart of the team. They looked out for you just as you did for them, and their bond was strong, forged in the fires they fought together.

As you entered the locker room, you were greeted by the familiar banter of your colleagues, along with the smell of sweat and smoke. "Hey, are you coming?" called Jake, one of the older firefighters, as he peeled off his gear. "We’re heading to O’Malley’s tonight. Are you in?"

You hesitated for a moment. It had been a long shift, and all you wanted was to go home, shower, and spend some time with Natasha. But it had been a while since you’d gone out with the guys, and it would be good to relax with them. Besides, you could invite Natasha, it might be just what you both needed to reconnect.

"Sure!" you replied with a smile. "I’ll be there. I’ll see if Nat wants to come too." The guys exchanged knowing looks, and Jake gave you a thumbs-up. "Great! I haven’t seen her in a while. It’d be nice to catch up with her."

You nodded, but a small knot of worry twisted in your stomach. It was true..Natasha had been distant lately, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. But you pushed the thought aside, hoping that tonight would be a chance to bridge the growing gap between you.

The atmosphere at O’Malley’s was lively, the local bar filled with laughter and chatter from off-duty firefighters and locals. You arrived with your team, and the group immediately took their usual corner spot. You spotted Natasha near the bar, as stunning as ever, her sharp green eyes scanning the room. Your heart lifted at the sight of her, and you quickly made your way over to her.

"Hey, you made it." you said with a warm smile, leaning in to kiss Natasha on the cheek. Natasha smiled back, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. "Of course. You know I wouldn’t miss a chance to see you and your boys letting loose." You chuckled softly, wrapping an arm around Natasha’s waist and leading her back to the table. As you joined the group, the conversation flowed easily, with stories from the day and jokes making the rounds. But you couldn’t help but notice that Natasha was quieter than usual, her responses brief, her mind seemingly elsewhere.

It wasn’t long before Jake, ever observant, leaned over to you. "Hey, is everything okay between you two?" he asked quietly, his tone gentle but concerned. You sighed, glancing over at Natasha, who was now holding a drink and barely participating in the conversations. "I don’t know.. " you admitted softly. "She’s been..distant lately. I just can’t figure out why."

Jake nodded, his brow furrowed. "You know we all care about you, right? If something’s wrong, don’t just ignore it."

"I know." you replied with a small, grateful smile. "Thanks. I’ll talk to her." But as the evening wore on, your worries deepened. You watched as Natasha grew more withdrawn, her attention drifting further away from the group. Your heart sank as you saw Natasha get up and head to the bar to talk to another woman, a striking woman with a confident smile. A knot formed in your stomach as you watched the interaction from a distance.

Natasha laughed, leaning in closer to the woman, and you couldn’t miss the unmistakable signs of flirting. Your mind raced, trying to rationalize it, convincing yourself that you were overreacting. But the way Natasha touched the woman’s arm, the way she looked at her, was something you couldn’t ignore. Jake’s words echoed in your mind Don’t just ignore it.

Your hands clenched into fists, your heart pounding with a mix of anger and hurt. You couldn’t stay here any longer, couldn’t watch this unfold before your eyes. You stood up abruptly, the movement catching Natasha’s attention. Your eyes met across the room, and for a brief moment, you saw something in Natasha’s gaze, maybe guilt or simply the realization that she’d been caught.

You didn’t wait for Natasha to come to you. You turned and left the bar, the cool night air hitting you like a slap as you stepped outside. The anger that simmered within you was like a raging fire, threatening to consume you. You barely registered the short drive home, your mind a whirlwind of emotions.

Back in your apartment, you paced the living room, your thoughts racing. The minutes dragged on like hours until you finally heard the door behind you open and close. You turned to see Natasha standing in the doorway, her expression unreadable. "I-" Natasha began, but you cut her off.

"Don’t." you interrupted, your voice trembling with the effort to control the storm within you. "Just don’t! I saw you, Natasha. I saw how you were with her." Natasha sighed, running a hand through her hair. "It’s not what you think-"

"Then what is it?" you demanded, your voice rising. "Because from where I stood, it looked like you were flirting with someone else. And this isn’t the first time you’ve been like this, Nat. You’ve been cold, distant, like you don’t even want to be around me anymore.. And now… this?"

"I don’t know what you want me to say!" Natasha replied, her voice growing colder. "You’re always at work, always with your team. Maybe I needed someone to talk to, someone who’s actually there.." You stared at her, her words cutting deep. "Are you serious? I risk my life every day, and you think I’m neglecting you? You knew what my job was when we got together, Natasha. You knew how important it is to me."

"And what about us?" Natasha shot back, her voice rising as well. "What about our relationship? Or is that supposed to come second to everything else?" Your eyes flashed with anger. "I’ve tried, Nat! I’ve tried to be there for you, but you’re the one who pushed me away. You’re the one who shut me out!" Natasha took a step forward, her fists clenched. "Maybe I pushed you away because I felt like you weren’t really there anymore! Maybe I shut you out because I don’t know how to compete with your damn job!"

The room was filled with your heavy breathing, the tension so thick it was almost suffocating. You felt your heart breaking with each passing moment, the reality of what Natasha was saying beginning to sink in. "I never asked you to compete with my job.." you said, your voice trembling. "I just wanted you to be there for me, like I was always there for you." Natasha’s expression softened for a moment, but then it hardened again, her walls going back up. "Maybe we’ve just grown too far apart, Y/n. Maybe this just doesn’t work anymore." You felt like the ground had been pulled out from under you. "Do you really mean that?" you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

"I don’t know what else to say..I can't anymore.." Natasha replied, her tone flat. "I’m tired, Y/n. I’m tired of feeling like I’m always second place in your life." The finality in Natasha’s words hit you like a sledgehammer, and you knew deep down that this was the end. The fight drained out of you, leaving only a hollow emptiness that you couldn’t ignore. "Maybe you’re right." you said quietly, your voice breaking. "Maybe we’ve just grown too different."

Natasha looked at you for a long moment, something unreadable in her eyes, before she finally turned and left, leaving you in the ruins of what had once been your shared life. The door closed with a final, echoing click, and you sank onto the couch, the weight of the night crashing over you. The tears you had been holding back finally broke free, and you cried until there was nothing left, the pain of losing Natasha burning brighter than any fire you had ever faced.

Weeks passed since that night, the night when everything had fallen apart. You had thrown yourself into your work, using the long hours and hard shifts to numb the pain that had settled in your chest. The fire station became more than just a workplace, it became your refuge, a place where you could lose yourself in the routine, the adrenaline, and the camaraderie of your team.

But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t fully escape the pain that Natasha’s absence had left behind. The quiet moments when you were alone with your thoughts were the worst. Those were the times when the memories came back. Memories of Natasha’s smile, her laughter, the way she would snuggle up to you after a long day. All of it haunted you, lingering like smoke long after the fire had died.

Your teammates noticed the change in you almost immediately. They were used to you being the strong, confident woman who could take on any challenge, who always had a quick joke or a comforting word at the ready. But lately, you had become quieter, more withdrawn. The usual spark in your eyes had dimmed, replaced by a pained expression that worried them more than you realized.

It didn’t take long for the whispers to start. The guys knew something was wrong, but out of respect, they didn’t push you to talk about it..at least not at first. But one day, after another exhausting shift, Jake, who always seemed to sense when something was off, finally confronted you in the locker room. "Hey, can we talk for a minute?" he asked, his voice gentle but firm as you laced up your boots. You looked up, exhaustion evident in every line of your face. "Sure, What’s up?"

He hesitated for a moment, as if unsure how to begin, before finally coming out with it. "The guys and I..we’ve noticed you’ve changed lately. You’re quieter. We’re worried about you." Your first instinct was to brush it off, to tell him you were fine, but the concern in Jake’s eyes stopped you. You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "I..I’m okay, Jake. I’m just going through some stuff."

Jake nodded, as if he had expected that answer. "We heard that you and Natasha broke up." You flinched at the mention of her name, the wound still fresh despite the weeks that had passed. "Yeah.."

"I’m sorry," Jake said sincerely. "but you don’t have to go through this alone, you know? We’re here for you, you know that, right?" A lump formed in your throat, the kindness in Jake’s words breaking through the wall you had built around yourself. "Thanks, Jake. It’s just..it’s hard, you know? But I’ll get through it, I just need time."

Jake smiled, a small, sad smile. "We know you’re strong. But even the strongest people need their friends sometimes. Don’t shut us out, okay?" You nodded, your heart warming at his words. "Okay. I won’t."

As the days turned into weeks, you slowly began to lean more on your team, letting them in bit by bit. They were there for you in ways you hadn’t expected, they invited you out after shifts, brought you coffee when they saw you needed it, and most importantly, gave you the space you needed to heal without pushing you to talk about it before you were ready. You started to find yourself again, piece by piece. The pain of the breakup was still there, but it no longer dominated every thought. You found comfort in the work you loved and in the support of your team, who were more like brothers to you than anything else. They helped you remember who you were, a determined woman who had overcome so much in her life. This was just another challenge, another fire you had to walk through, and you knew you would come out stronger on the other side.

But there was another change in you. The breakup had forced you to take a hard look at your life, the choices you had made, and the priorities you had set. You realized that you had been using work as a way to escape from certain things like fears, insecurities, the pressure to always be the best. With the help of your teammates, you started to find a better balance. You cut back on your work hours, took time to rest, to connect with yourself, and to think about what you really wanted in life. It wasn’t easy, there were still days when the pain was too much, when the memories were too sharp but slowly, you began to feel more like yourself again.

One evening, after a particularly long but fulfilling day, you were sitting with your team at O’Malley’s, the same bar where everything had started to fall apart weeks ago. But this time, the atmosphere was different. You laughed at one of Jake’s jokes, the sound surprising even yourself. It felt good to laugh again, to feel like you were part of something again, instead of just going through the motions. As the night wore on, Jake leaned over and clinked his glass against yours. "Welcome back.." he said with a broad grin. You smiled back, this time a real smile, one that reached your eyes. And as you looked around, taking in the faces of the people who had stood by you through one of the hardest times of your life, you felt a deep gratitude and a sense of hope. You weren’t fully healed yet, you knew that would take time but you were on your way. You weren’t running from the pain anymore. You were facing it, with the support of those who cared about you. For the first time in a long time, you felt like you were finally coming back to yourself.

The months that had passed since the breakup had brought with them a sense of calm that you hadn’t expected. The wounds that had once been raw and painful had slowly closed, leaving only the faintest of scars behind. You had regained your footing, largely thanks to your work and the unwavering support of your team. The fire station had become your sanctuary, a place where you could focus on the work you loved and the people who mattered to you.

With time, the thoughts of Natasha became less painful and more reflective. You had accepted that your relationship was over, and although you still cared for Natasha, you had made peace with your past. You hadn’t dated anyone new, instead choosing to focus on yourself and your career. Occasionally, you wondered if Natasha had moved on, if she had found someone to fill the void you had left behind. But those thoughts were fleeting, quickly pushed aside by the demands of your work.

One late afternoon, your team received an urgent call, a fire had broken out in a high-end residential complex in a busy part of town. Without hesitation, you geared up and raced to the scene, sirens blaring through the streets. When you arrived at the complex, your focus was solely on the task ahead.

The building was engulfed in flames, thick black smoke billowing from the windows of the upper floors. The fire was intense, but not unlike others you had faced before. Your team worked with practiced precision, setting up hoses and preparing to combat the blaze. You quickly joined them, your thoughts focused only on containing the fire and ensuring everyone’s safety. As you worked to bring the fire under control, you noticed a small commotion at the edge of the crowd that had gathered outside. A woman was arguing with one of the firefighters, her voice rising in desperation. You blinked through the smoke and your heart sank. It was Natasha.

Natasha stood at the edge of the barricade, her face pale and tense, her eyes fixed on the burning building. She was arguing with one of the firefighters, apparently determined to get inside. "I have to go in!" Natasha said, her voice thick with panic. "There are things in there that I can’t lose, please.."

"I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s too dangerous." the firefighter replied, his voice firm but sympathetic. "We can’t let anyone in until we’re sure the fire is completely out and the building is safe." Natasha looked like she was about to argue further, her frustration and fear palpable. You knew that look all too well..Natasha was stubborn, and when she set her mind to something, she didn’t let go easily. Taking a deep breath, knowing this wouldn’t be easy, you stepped forward and made your way over to them.

"Natasha." you called, drawing both Natasha’s and the firefighter’s attention to you. Natasha’s eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment, she looked like she might crumble. But she quickly composed herself, her expression shifting to one of determination. "Y-Y/n! I have to go in.. There are things..things I can’t lose."

You understood the urgency in Natasha’s voice, but you also knew the dangers that still lurked in the building. You turned to the firefighter, who was visibly struggling to keep Natasha from pushing past him. "It’s okay." you said, stepping forward. "I’ll go in with her. I know the risks, and I can make sure she stays safe." The firefighter hesitated, glancing between you and Natasha before finally nodding. "Alright, but be quick. The structure is still unstable, and we don’t know how long it will hold."

You nodded in understanding before turning to Natasha. "Come on." you said, your voice gentle but firm. "Let’s get what you need." Natasha nodded, her relief evident, though her tension remained, as she followed you toward the building. You moved quickly through the entrance, the smell of smoke and charred wood heavy in the air. The fire was mostly out, but the damage was extensive, and the walls still radiated heat.

You led the way, keeping an eye on Natasha as you navigated through the debris. "Where do we need to go?" you asked, glancing back over your shoulder. "Upstairs.." Natasha replied, her voice tight. "My apartment is on the top floor." You moved carefully, avoiding the more unstable areas as you climbed the stairs to Natasha’s apartment. When you reached the door, it hung on its hinges, the hallway beyond filled with smoke and debris. You pushed the door open, and before you lay the charred remains of what had once been Natasha’s home.

Natasha stepped inside, her movements hesitant as she took in the destruction. You stayed close, your eyes scanning the room for potential hazards. The apartment was almost unrecognizable, blackened walls, burned furniture, and shattered glass littered the floor. But Natasha’s attention was focused on something deeper, something more personal. She moved to a small cabinet at the back of the room, kneeling down and carefully opening it. Inside were a few items that had somehow escaped the fire. An old jewelry box, a small stack of letters, and a photo album that was singed at the edges but otherwise intact.

Natasha carefully lifted the photo album, her hands trembling slightly as she opened it. The first picture showed you and her, taken on a lazy Sunday morning in your old apartment. You were sitting on the couch, your head resting on Natasha’s shoulder, both of you smiling at the camera. It was one of Natasha’s favorite photos, a moment of pure bliss, captured forever.

You held your breath as you saw the picture. "You kept this?" you asked softly, your voice filled with a mix of surprise and emotion. Natasha looked up at you, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I couldn’t let it go.." she admitted, her voice breaking. "I tried to move on, but..this was the only thing that made me feel close to you. I never stopped missing you, Y/n. I just didn’t know how to handle it.."

The flames had died down, and the once-raging inferno that had consumed Natasha’s apartment was now reduced to smoldering embers. You stood with Natasha near the entrance of the building, the smell of smoke still heavy in the air. Natasha’s face was etched with worry, her eyes distant as she stared at the charred remains of her home. Back outside, Natasha turned to you, clutching the singed photo album to her chest. "Y/n.." she began, her voice shaky but determined, "I..I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m asking for a second chance. I miss you. I miss us."

Your heart clenched at the plea in Natasha’s voice, but you knew you couldn’t just let yourself be swayed so easily. The pain, the anger, the heartbreak..it was all still there, simmering beneath the surface. You couldn’t just forget how it had ended, how Natasha had pushed you away. You took a deep breath, keeping your voice steady. "Natasha, I..I can’t do this right now. I’ve moved on, or at least I’m trying to. It’s not easy for me to just go back."

Natasha’s eyes filled with tears, but she nodded, her fingers tightening around the photo album. "I understand.." she whispered. "I know I hurt you, Y/n, and I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. But I just wanted…I wanted to try to make things right."

You looked away, your resolve wavering for a moment before you forced yourself to stay strong. "Do you have a place to stay tonight?" you asked, your tone softening slightly. Natasha hesitated, then nodded. "Yes, I’m staying with Steve. I’ll be okay."

"Good.." you replied, your voice a bit softer now. "Take care of yourself, Natasha. I’m..I’m sorry this happened to you." Natasha offered you a sad smile, her eyes a mixture of hope and resignation. "Thank you.." You nodded, your heart heavy as you watched Natasha walk away, disappearing into the darkness. You wanted to reach out, to take away the pain you had seen in Natasha’s eyes, but you knew that would only reopen wounds that had just begun to heal.

Days passed, and you tried to put the encounter with Natasha behind you. You buried yourself in your work, focusing on your team and the job that had always been your anchor. But no matter how hard you tried, thoughts of Natasha kept creeping into your mind. You wondered how she was doing, if she had found a new place to live, if she was okay. But every time the urge to reach out to Natasha became too strong, you forced yourself to remember the pain of your breakup. The loneliness and the feeling of being pushed aside. You weren’t ready to go through that again.

Meanwhile, Natasha wasn’t ready to give up so easily. She knew she had deeply hurt you, but she also knew that you were the best thing that had ever happened to her. She had to find a way to apologize, to show you that she was serious about making things right. But every time she tried to get close, you kept her at a distance, not ready to let her back into your life.

Desperate for a solution, Natasha turned to the one person she knew you trusted completely. Jake. He was your closest friend on the team, someone who had always been there for you through thick and thin. If anyone could help Natasha find a way to reach you, it was him. "Jake, I need your help." Natasha said one evening after tracking him down at the firehouse. She had waited until you were out on a call, not wanting to make the situation even more difficult for you.

Jake studied Natasha carefully, crossing his arms. "What’s this about, Romanoff?" Natasha hesitated, unsure how to explain. "I want to apologize to Y/n. I want to show her that I’m serious about making things right, but she’s not giving me a chance. And I get it, I really do! I hurt her, and I don’t blame her for keeping her distance. But I can’t just let her go without trying."

Jake sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he considered her words. "Shes been through a lot." he said finally. "She’s tough, but she’s got a big heart, and what happened between you two…it really hit her hard. She’s just starting to get back to herself."

"I know.." Natasha replied, her voice heavy with emotion. "And that’s exactly why I’m asking for your help. I need to show her that I’ve changed, that I understand what I did wrong. I thought maybe..maybe you could help me find something that really matters.."

Jake studied her for a long moment, clearly weighing what he should do. He had seen how much the breakup had affected you, had been there to pick up the pieces. But he also knew that you still cared about Natasha, even if you wouldn’t admit it. "Alright.." Jake said finally. "But if we do this, it has to be something that really shows her you get it, that you understand what’s important to her. You can’t just say ‘I’m sorry’ you’ve got to prove that you get it." Natasha nodded, her heart lifting with a mix of hope and determination. "What do you suggest?"

Jake thought for a moment, then a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Y/n’s job and her team mean everything to her. She’s proud of the work we do, and she respects anyone who gets that. If you can show her that you appreciate her dedication, that you’re willing to support her even if it means making sacrifices, that might just reach her heart."

Natasha listened intently, and a plan began to take shape in her mind. "I think I know what I can do." she said slowly, her confidence growing. "But I’m going to need everyones help to pull it off." Jake chuckled softly, clapping Natasha on the shoulder. "Alright, Romanoff. Let’s get to it. But remember, in the end, it’s up to Y/n. If she decides she’s not ready, you’ve got to respect that."

"I will." Natasha promised, her eyes filled with determination. "But I have to try."

In the days that followed, Natasha and the Team worked together to bring the plan to life. It wasn’t easy, and there were moments when Natasha doubted herself, but she pushed through, knowing this was her last chance to make things right with you.

Finally, the day came. Jake had convinced you to come to the firehouse after your shift, under the pretense of a small team meeting. You arrived, your curiosity piqued by the unusual request. As you entered the common room, you were greeted by your teammates, all smiling, but there was also a hint of something else in their expressions..perhaps anticipation?

"Jake, what’s going on?" you asked, glancing around the room. Before he could respond, the door to the adjacent room opened, and Natasha stepped out, nervous but resolute. You held your breath as your eyes met, the air suddenly thick with tension. "Natasha.." you said slowly, your voice cautious. "What are you doing here?"

"I’m here to apologize." Natasha said, her voice firm despite the pounding of her heart. "But I’m not just here to say ‘sorry.’ I wanted to show you that I understand..really understand what’s important to you. Your job, your team..I know how much they mean to you, and I want you to know that I respect that. I want to support you, Y/n, in everything you do."

You frowned slightly, unsure where this was going. "What do you mean?" Natasha took a deep breath, then turned to Jake, who nodded and stepped forward, giving something in your hands. It was a framed certificate, one that you immediately recognized. It was an award given to firefighters who had performed exceptionally in their service, an award that you yourself had won years ago. But this wasn’t your award. This was a new one, freshly printed, with Natasha’s name on it.

Your eyes widened as you read the inscription. It was an honorary award, given to someone who had shown extraordinary understanding and support for the firefighting community. It wasn't just a symbol, it was something that had to be earned.

"I talked to Jake.." Natasha explained, her voice gentle but steady. "And with the rest of the team. I wanted to understand what you do, what you go through every day. I spent the last few weeks learning about your work, the risks you take, and the sacrifices you make. I even went through part of the training to get a real sense of what it’s like. This award..it’s not just a piece of paper. It’s my way of showing you that I’m ready to be there for you, in the way you need."

You stared at the certificate, your emotions swirling. You didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to process the gesture. It was clear that Natasha had gone to great lengths to understand your world, to step into your shoes and appreciate the life you were dedicated to. The weight of Natasha’s efforts, the sincerity in her eyes, all of it hit you deeply.

Natasha continued, her voice growing more emotional as she spoke. "Y/n, I know I messed up. I let my insecurities and fears get in the way, and I pushed you away when I should have held on. But I’m here now, ready to support you in everything you do, no matter what it takes. I’m not asking for everything to go back to the way it was. I know that’s not possible. I just want a chance to be a part of your life again, to do it right this time."

You felt your heart being pulled in multiple directions. On one hand, the pain of your breakup was still fresh, the wounds not fully healed. But on the other hand, Natasha’s gesture was so heartfelt, so genuine, that it was impossible to ignore. You glanced around the room, seeing your team, your family looking at you with hopeful eyes. They had been your support through the hardest times, and now, in this moment, they were silently encouraging you to consider Natasha’s plea.

You turned back to Natasha, who was waiting with bated breath for your response, her vulnerability on full display, but her determination unwavering. It was clear that this wasn’t just an apology, no it was a promise. A promise to be better, to be the partner you had always needed.

You took a deep breath, your emotions swirling as you searched for the right words. "Natasha..What you’ve done means a lot to me. More than I can put into words. But this isn’t something I can decide on the spot. I need time..time to think about everything, to process it all." Natasha nodded immediately, her eyes shining with understanding and relief. "Of course! Take all the time you need. I’ll wait, as long as it takes."

You appreciated Natasha’s willingness to give you space. You could see the sincerity in her eyes, and it softened something inside you. "Thank you, Natasha." you said quietly. "I need to do what’s right for me…and for us, whatever that may be."

The room was thick with emotion as you turned to Jake, who gave you a small, encouraging smile. "You don’t have to decide anything today, you know." he said gently. "Just know that we’re here for you, no matter what you choose." You nodded, the weight of your decision heavy on your shoulders. You knew you needed to take things slowly, to figure out what was best for your heart and your future. But for the first time in a long while, you felt a spark of hope..the possibility that maybe, just maybe, you and Natasha could find a way back to each other.

Natasha took a step forward and looked to the certificate and back to you. "This is yours." she said softly. "It’s not just about me, it’s about you and everything you stand for. And no matter what happens between us, I will always respect that."

You felt a warmth in that sentence, a reminder of what you had once shared. But you didn’t allow yourself to get lost in the past. You knew you had to be careful, to protect yourself from further pain. "Thank you," you said, your voice firm. "I’ll keep this, and I’ll think about everything you’ve said."

Natasha smiled, a gentle, hopeful smile that made your heart skip a beat. With that, you turned and left the room, the certificate clutched in your hand. Your team watched you, giving you the space you needed to process everything. Natasha remained behind, her heart heavy yet lighter, heavy with the knowledge that she still had a long way to go to regain your trust, but lighter with the hope that you might, just might, find your way back to each other.

As you stepped out into the cool evening air, you felt a mixture of relief, confusion, and a small spark of hope. You weren’t ready to fully open the door to Natasha again, but you weren’t ready to close it completely either. The road ahead was long, full of uncertainties and difficult choices, but for the first time in a long while, you felt like you were moving in the right direction. And as you looked down at the certificate in your hand, you knew that whatever happened next, you would face it with the same strength and determination that had carried you through everything else.

(Hi! I tried something new and I'll leave the ending up to you. You can decide how it ends for both of you. :))

[yelenaslyubov]

There’s No One Like You

main masterlist || kate bishop || requests

requested anonymously

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ pairing: kate bishop x female reader

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ warnings: MINORS DNI (18+) smut- dom!reader, oral, fingering, alcohol, language, flufffff, mutual pining

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ description: you and kate meet coincidentally at a local bar near your university and hit it off. your complicated and platonic relationship becomes a battle of trying not to cross the line with her. but when kate gives you an invitation, you would be a fool not to take it…

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ word count: 5.4k

You weren’t much of a party person, but your roommates had finally pulled your leg enough to drag you out of the house. You definitely weren’t happy, but a deal’s a deal.

The music was too loud, everyone had completely forgotten about personal space, and it was steamy. You much rather would have liked to spend the evening inside watching a movie, or even reading for that matter.

Per usual, you were left alone, none of your roommates in sight. There were faces around that you recognized faintly, but that did not bring you any sort of comfort.

“Have you seen Nat?” you screamed over the loud bass of the music echoing inside the bar. “Yelena? Valk? Hot and threatening women?”

The guy in question shook his head slowly, clearly unenthused with your lost puppy act. You hated how codependent you became in situations like this, but you couldn’t stand to be by yourself, especially not in this environment.

You started to become a bit frantic, pushing through the crowd and scanning the room for any sign of your people. You backed away, hoping to find them the other way. That was until you were abruptly stopped in your tracks, bumping into something quite hard.

“Shit!” you heard a voice behind you say.

You whipped around and saw a tall brunette woman standing in front of you. She was wearing loose fitting jeans and a purple top that swooped low between her breasts while also leaving enough room for her stomach to peek out. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and her makeup was light. You could see now the dark liquid that was spilled down her front.

“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going, are you alright?” you quickly explained.

“I’m all good I promise, no harm done,” the woman smiled.

You couldn’t deny the fact that this woman was extremely attractive. Though the situation was unfortunate, you were almost happy about your clumsy mistake. You decided to go out on a limb.

“Can I buy you a drink, for your troubles… it’s the least I can do?”

The girl pondered for a moment. “I think I can manage that.”

You both made your way over to the bar where you requested another drink for yourself, as well as whatever your new friend wanted. There were empty seats near the end where you and the girl sat down.

“Thanks for the drink…” the woman said, ending the phrase hanging in place of a name she didn’t have.

“Y/n,” you stated.

“Y/n… I’m Kate by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Kate. I’m really sorry about your clothes again.”

“I promise it’s no big deal. To tell you the truth, these aren’t even mine,” she whispered.

“I’m not going to lie, that doesn’t make me feel any better,” you laughed.

“Eh, it’s alright. Not really my style anyway,” she said. “You live around here?”

“Yeah, I actually go to school around here.”

“Oh me too! What school?”

“NYU, what about you?”

“Same! How have we never run into each other? What am I saying, the campus is huge.”

You chuckled. “We probably just have different circles. I’m majoring in marketing.”

“I’m a business major,” she said. “I guess that checks out. Are you involved in any groups or clubs?”

“Not really, I just do photography on the side.”

“Oh that’s pretty cool! You’ll have to show me some of your stuff some time.” Her offer was extremely tempting and you definitely wouldn’t complain if you had to see her again.

“What about you, are you involved in anything?”

“I’m actually captain of the archery team,” she said proudly.

“Wow,” you smirked. “I definitely didn’t peg that on you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she smiled.

“Nothing bad, I’m just surprised is all. I just didn’t see you doing archery of all things.”

She took a sip of her drink. “Well I happen to be full of surprises, thank you very much.”

“I would love for you to enlighten me.” You were flirting now. You didn’t know nearly enough about her to fully commit, but there was no way you didn’t want to test the waters.

“First off, I’m the one who destroyed the bell tower at the end of last semester.”

“No way! That cost the school SO much money!” you laughed.

“Believe me, I’ll never hear the end of it,” she laughed as well, placing her hand on top of yours.

You looked down at her warm fingers that grazed yours so delicately while she laughed. Certainly she didn’t mean to do the gesture, but she also made no effort to remove her hand.

“What about you? Any surprises I should know about?” She removed her hand now, not making any indication that the event even happened.

“You remember the rumor that went around about Professor Connell sleeping with a freshman?”

“Of course.”

“Yeah, that was about me. It was entirely untrue and I’ve still yet to figure out who started it. I don’t even like men, that’s the best part,” you laughed.

Kate chuckled. “Hey, that kind of shit happens all the time. There’s been plenty of things said about me, so you’re not alone.”

You couldn’t get over the playful look on her face the entire time you were near her. The way her eyelids rested hazily above her eyes as they stared into yours, even if alcohol was an influence. Or the way she seemed to get closer to you with every word. Or the way you checked occasionally to see her hand resting suspiciously close to yours as the conversation continued.

“Oh! I should put my number in your phone so we can hang out sometime!” Kate exclaimed.

You wasted no time digging in your bag to find your phone to hand over to Kate. She was quick and typed with a smile that you could see illuminated from your phone brightness. She handed it back to you and you looked down at your phone. Her contact name read “world’s greatest archer💜.”

“Now you’ll never forget who it is,” Kate smirked.

“I don’t think I could forget even if I tried.” There were no truer words to be spoken. You smiled back at Kate before jumping out of your skin by the yelling behind you.

“Heyyyy!” Yelena said in a sing-song voice while shaking you by your shoulders. “We have been looking everywhere for you.”

“Apparently not very hard.”

“Oh come on babe, it’s a big place give us a break,” Valkyrie pouted.

“I see you bunch have had a blast while I’ve been gone,” you shook your head.

“So have you,” Nat smirked in Kate’s direction.

You looked back at her. “Uhm, guys this is Kate. Kate, this is Yelena, Valkyrie, and Natasha.”

Valkyrie shoved her hand in front of Kate, extending it in hopes that Kate would set hers atop, in which she was successful. “You can call me anything you’d like.” Valkyrie’s lips made contact with Kate’s knuckles, making her blush.

“Okay, that’s enough!” you panicked. Valkyrie stood firm in her position, one that was only broken when you pulled their hands apart.

“I was just trying to be kind to our guest,” Valkyrie said plainly and rolled her eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered to Kate.

She laughed. “Don’t be, I like them. I like your vest, blondie.”

“You do?” Yelena gasped, then came closer to Kate to pinch her cheek. “Can we please keep her?”

“No, no, stop that.” You swatted Yelena’s hands away from Kate. “I think it’s time we all go home, yeah?”

“But I was having such a good time,” Yelena whined.

“Well… then why don’t we take this party home?”

Yelena and Valkyrie smirked in each other’s direction. “I’m not opposed, but only if that one comes with,” Valkyrie said demandingly while pointing at Kate.

Kate laughed nervously. “While that sounds like loads of fun, I should probably find my ride too. It’s getting late.”

Your spirit faded and it felt like you had been shot. All night Kate hadn’t mentioned someone else, but now around your friends her attitude seemed to change and there was someone else?

As if it was perfect timing, a tall guy around your age came up behind Kate and swooped his arms around her waist. She jumped and turned around to see him wrapped around her.

“Dylan!” Kate awkwardly yelled. She removed his hands quickly and looked around nervously. “I was just coming to find you. I’m ready to leave.”

She grabbed her things as she stood up from the stool. You were surprised that you were sad to see her go. There were more conversations you wanted to share with her that night, but you knew they would have to wait.

“It was so nice to meet you all,” Kate smiled before taking the hand of the mystery guy named Dylan and walking out of the bar. “Oh, y/n, I’ll text you later!”

All that was left was the pulsing rhythm of the music that you wish you could eliminate. In this moment, you felt like the only person in the bar.

“If I had her, I would never let her out of my sight,” Valkyrie said.

“If I had her, I would never let her leave the house,” Yelena chimed in.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that you’re sober?” you asked Nat.

“What made you think that?” she smirked. “Who else was going to make sure these two stay out of trouble when you aren’t there?”

It was sad but true, and it made you smile. Your smile faded quickly when you made the realization. “Shit.”

“What’s up?” Nat asked.

“Her number is in my phone. She can’t text me unless I text her first.”

Nat patted your back. “I guess that means you gotta put on your big girl pants and put yourself out there.”

“How am I supposed to do that when she’s with someone else?”

“You think she’s with him? No way, that girl is free game. Did you see the way they interacted?”

You shrugged, wanting it to be true. “I guess, but I don’t want to take any chances.”

“All you need is one.”

You looked at Nat in confusion. “One what?”

“Chance.”

.

.

.

A couple days had passed since your first meeting with Kate and you still hadn’t worked up the courage to reach out to her. You couldn’t figure out why there was a mental block around the idea of seeing her again. It seemed to be the idea of watching her with someone else she had clearly been sleeping with. There was no denying that.

You weren’t the only person experiencing anxiety over the situation.

“I don’t understand why you won’t text her, even to see what happens,” Yelena said. It was Sunday night and you were all gathered in the living room on the couch.

“No, you need to wait. You have to give her time to wait it out. Don’t be desperate,” Valkyrie rebutted.

You grumbled and threw your head in your hands. You knew they were trying to help, but you just wished that someone would tell you the right answer.

“Nat?” you asked, giving her the floor to share her advice.

“If I were you, I would text her. There’s no harm in it because you don’t even know if she likes women.”

“Oh, she likes women alright,” Valkyrie said.

“I don’t know…” Your voice didn’t hide your disappointment well.

Yelena narrowed her eyes at you. “Y/n, what did you do?”

“I- I might’ve found her on social media and scrolled… far down.”

They all groaned. “You do this to yourself every time, babe,” Valkyrie said.

“I know, but how else am I supposed to find out more about her!”

“Well, let’s see it then.” Valkyrie moved closer to you on the couch, hoping that you would share your new discovery with them. Yelena and Nat followed quickly behind, all of you now shoulder to shoulder staring at your phone.

You opened one of your many apps and scrolled through the hundreds of pictures Kate had posted. There were many “hmm’s” and reactions from your audience beside you. Yelena reached out to your phone to click on a picture to get a better look.

“Lena, be careful! I don’t need her knowing I’m being a creep and looking through all her old pictures.”

After a couple minutes Valkyrie took the situation into her own hands. “Let me see this.” She began clicking through several pictures and nodding her head.

“What?” you asked, confused.

“Yeah, just like I thought. That’s a face of a woman kisser.”

She turned the phone towards you and your eyes widened. The picture was of Kate standing with her arms crossed. She had baggy jeans on, combat boots, and a black t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up her arms into a tank top.

“You’ve got me there,” Nat said.

“Guys, just because she’s wearing specific clothes doesn’t mean she likes women,” you said in a way that made it sound like you were trying to convince yourself.

“Is your gaydar completely broken?” Valkyrie asked, her hand gesturing to the picture once again. “She eats box.”

“Ew, who even says that anymore?” Yelena recoiled.

You swiped your phone from Valkyrie’s hand and stood up. “You guys are the opposite of helpful!”

“I feel like this has been pretty enlightening, personally,” Yelena shrugged.

“I’m going to my room,” you sighed.

“Sleep well, princess!” Valkyrie called out. “I wish you sweet dreams of your precious archer!”

You shut the door to your room quite harshly. Once you were inside you allowed yourself to breathe. Between the reactions of your roommates to seeing the pictures yourself, you were worked up to say the least. You let yourself look at the pictures again and it was hard to hide your giddy smirk.

Kate was even hotter than you pictured. Maybe it was the dim lights in the bar or the unfamiliar outfit she was wearing. Whatever it was, she somehow managed to look even better in these pictures. One thing was for sure— you were glad that her style deviated from her outside two nights ago. From her oversized clothes, boots, and hats, you were practically drooling.

You decided at this moment that you would text her. You found her phone number on her contact page and clicked it without looking back and sent a text quickly saying hello and who you were. Anxiety took over, causing you to throw your phone on the bed. You knew staring at your phone was not the way to go about waiting for her text.

Surprisingly, there was a ding from your phone that sounded seconds after tossing it away. You scrambled for your phone even if you realized how silly you looked. You opened your lock screen and stared at the text from Kate.

“I was wondering when I would hear from you. Kinda hard to text you when I don’t have your number ;)”

You fell back on your bed, sighing. All you were picturing through the phone was the compilation of photos of Kate that you had seen minutes prior.

This would either end exactly like you wanted, or break your heart into a million pieces. You were willing to take your chances.

.

.

.

Over the next couple months, you and Kate had been together regularly. Whether it was going out to a new bar, watching a school game, or coming over to your apartment. Everyone had grown tired of your incessant babbling about Kate’s but you couldn’t help it—there was nothing like her. Of course, you still hadn’t gotten much closer to getting what you really wanted. What you really wanted was her.

You unfortunately had to listen to her talk over and over again about her failed love interests. You would always listen to everything she had to say, but it didn’t make you want to kiss her until she forgot every guy's name any less.

There had been moments— brief moments. They usually happened when Kate was upset or she was inebriated, but you would take anything.

The first time it happened it caught you by surprise. You had known her to be flirty and psychical from the first night you met her, but you didn’t expect her to follow through as much as she did.

Kate was over at your apartment which wasn’t unusual, but it was the way things played out. She came over in her comfiest clothes that somehow still made you swoon over her. Nat, Yelena, and Valkyrie were out drinking and were planning to come back anytime.

You and Kate were out in the living room watching a movie on the couch. It was getting late and you were watching the way her eyelids were threatening to flutter closed. It was often that you found yourself staring at Kate, just when she wasn’t looking of course.

When her eyes closed, her head gently began falling towards your shoulder. Then, all at once, Kate was leaning against you while she slept, leaving you frozen. It was what you always wanted, even if it was unintentional. You held your breath, hoping that if you stopped completely that time would stand still, leaving you here with her against you.

Your heart stopped when you heard the key turn in the door. The three women walked in the door laughing and you tried to shush them as much as possible. They turned around and looked between you and Kate.

“Oh my god,” Valkyrie mouthed. You put your finger up to your mouth to quiet them if that was even possible.

“We’ll leave you two alone,” Nat whispered.

Each of them giggled and tripped over their own feet, Yelena running into the wall as she tried to make it back to her bedroom. You shook your head at their behavior and looked back down at Kate who was still sleeping. It took everything in you not to touch her, all you could do was admire her from a distance.

Then, of course, there had been other instances of suspicious behavior. Like when Kate would dance unashamedly with you for everyone to see. All you wanted was to be seen with her in that way, but you knew it wasn’t reciprocated.

Lastly, there was the night that Kate got inexplicably drunk. Overall, Kate knew how to hold her liquor well, but that night sent her over the edge for reasons you couldn’t completely understand.

You helped her get home to her own apartment because you knew she wouldn’t be able to make it on her own. Her arm was wrapped around your shoulder as you led her inside and into her bedroom.

“Alright Kate, you have to help me out a little,” you groaned. Carrying dead weight didn’t suit you very well. You were able to place her down on the bed where she fell back against it immediately. “Please be careful.”

Kate managed to sit up on her own and held her arms out towards you. “Help?”

You looked at her and the way she was carrying herself. It looked like she needed help undressing, which made your heart leap into your throat.

“What do you need help with?” you asked, just to be sure.

“Off please.”

You were correct. Under different circumstances this would be your dream, but right now you were worried about her. You put your feelings aside as you lifted her shirt and took off her pants gently. You turned away quickly to give her space, as well as fold her clothes and place them on her dresser. You were prepared to leave until her voice called out.

“Stay with me… please.”

Your heart swelled. Then, you turned back around to see her laying under her blanket, leaving space for you to slide in. “Only for a little bit.”

Kate smiled sleepily and lifted up the blanket for you to crawl in. You apprehensively got comfortable beside Kate, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable, even if you two were clearly past that.

Though you didn’t get close, Kate didn’t hesitate. She rolled closer to you and wrapped her arm around your waist. There was a pause before she grabbed her elephant plushie that you had gotten as a gift for her. There was something so enduring about her gesture, something that made you want to hold on tighter to her. She went further and laid her head in the nape of your neck. You were paralyzed in the moment.

You brushed it off as Kate being drunk out of her mind, but there was another part of you that was curious. Maybe this is what it took for her to open up and show her true feelings?

You would never know because you knew by morning that Kate wouldn’t remember the moment the two of you shared. But that was weeks ago and neither one of you brought it up again.

Tonight, everyone was gone doing their own thing and you were alone. You would usually text Kate, but you didn’t want to make things weird after your last hang out. Not that Kate would remember, but you didn’t want to ruin what you had going.

So it was just you and your favorite show in the background while you cooked. Anytime you had a moment alone, you liked to cook something nice for yourself. Sure, you liked cooking for others too, but there was something pleasurable about cooking just fir you.

You decided on an easy pasta dish with vodka sauce. Everything was finished and it was time to plate when there was a knock on your door. You wiped your hands off on a towel and made your way to the door. As it opened, Kate was waiting on the other side.

“I know I didn’t call-”

“Come in,” you interjected and Kate smiled.

“I wasn’t sure if you were home, but I thought I would swing by.” Kate took her coat off at the door and took liberty to hang it on the coat rack. “Where’s everybody else?”

“Do I ever really know?” you chuckled. “They’re all supposed to be back sometime after midnight for reasons they did not share.”

“Why would they ever.”

It was then that you noticed her outfit and scanned her frame. “And where have you been looking like that?”

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I know it’s a lot, but it was a banquet for a family function. My mom doesn’t like when I dress myself, for a lack of better words.”

Kate was wearing a tight silk dress that dropped down and hugged her curves. Though you liked Kate’s usual look, you could get used to this more often.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’m into it.”

Kate blushed. “Then I guess it’s a good thing I left it on for you to admire.” You smiled and walked back into the kitchen and Kate made herself comfortable on one of the barstools.

“You want some?” you offered. Kate shook her head and you went back as normal. “You’re really missing out, it’s everyone’s favorite dish of mine.”

Kate didn’t speak for a minute, leaving an uncomfortable silence. “Something’s been on my mind lately and I need some advice,” she said.

You turned around with concern on your face. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I- I’ve just been thinking a lot lately.”

You leaned against the counter and crossed your arms, watching and listening for Kate to continue.

“I don’t know, there’s this thought in the back of my mind and I need to know if I’m right or not. I really like this person and I think they may like me back, but I don’t know how to approach them about it or even how to make a move.”

You were confused. Kate had never asked for dating advice before for obvious reasons. You didn’t know how to help her when it came to guys.

“I mean I know guys are different from girls in that respect, but if I were you I would just be real with them. Let them know how you feel and if they take it, good, if they don’t, you can let yourself be down about it but eventually you’ll move on.”

Kate had an unusual look about her. You had never seen it but it almost looked to be…longing?

“I just don’t know if she wants me like that.”

Your legs felt uneasy below you and you could tell that your face showed your surprise. You couldn’t get over the ‘she’ in her sentence.

Both of you stared at each other for a long time. Kate was frozen in her seat, leaving you to make the next move. You hoped that you were right or else this would make everything much more complicated.

You pushed yourself off the counter and walked around to be standing beside Kate. “Who said I didn’t want you?”

Kate’s eyes softened when she looked at you. You could practically see the relief pool into her blue eyes. You felt your relief all the same when you saw her reaction.

“I was just scared I guess. After that night in my bed-”

“Hold on, you remember that?”

Kate smirked. “I wouldn’t have asked you in my bed if I wouldn’t remember it.”

In this moment, Nat’s words replayed in your mind. All you need is one chance.

Your chance was now.

You moved forward quickly, wrapping your hands around each side of Kate’s neck and pulling her towards you. Your lips crashed into hers softly and it was everything you had been waiting so patiently for.

Kate stood up from the stool and met you in the middle. Her arms wrapped around your neck and pulled you in closer. Your thumbs caressed her cheeks as Kate’s tongue pushed into your mouth. You let her in and taste you. You whimpered as Kate deepened the kiss while also simultaneously pulling away breathless.

“What about your food?”

You stared at her and shook your head. “Forget the food. I want you.”

Kate gasped as you slid your hands behind her thighs and under her dress to lift her onto the counter. You wanted to have her just like this— between her legs and at your mercy.

Your hands snaked up Kate’s toned arms and up to her shoulders without taking your lips away from hers. Your fingers fidgeted with the straps of her dress, wanting more than anything to rip them off and see her beauty beneath.

“Is this okay?” you whispered.

“Y/n, respectfully, I just need you to fuck me.”

Without another word you pulled the straps of her dress down her arms which Kate slipped out of quickly. You dragged your hands up Kate’s bare back feeling of her soft skin. You wanted to savor the moment and take it slow, but fuck, that was overrated.

Kate’s hands were buried in your hair, tugging and pulling at her pleasure. While your lips were still locked, your curious hand slid to Kate’s front and took her nipple in between your fingers.

You thought you might faint when you heard the noises coming from Kate’s mouth. It only motivated you more.

Even though you could kiss Kate forever, there was something else that occupied your thoughts that you couldn’t get out of your head.

You abandoned her lips, moving your own down the side of her neck and down her chest. You took your time to leave small marks along the bottom side of her breasts— somewhere no one else could see but a place you knew was yours.

You went down further. Your lips kissed down Kate’s stomach and at the same time you grabbed Kate’s dress that had gathered around her. You gingerly pulled the dress off once Kate lifted her hips off the counter. The sight alone quickened your heart rate even more.

Kate changed positions to your liking. She lowered herself onto her arms so they were resting on the counter. She peered down at you through lustful eyelids.

You bit your lip and didn’t hesitate to pull off her underwear too, throwing them somewhere off into the distance. You couldn’t wait any longer to resist yourself from Kate, so you gave in.

Your two fingers slipped through Kate’s pussy, delicately taking your time to feel her. Kate whimpered and threw her head back.

“Fuck, Katie,” you breathed out. “You’re so wet.”

“Please, I just need you to touch me.”

“Anything you want, princess.”

Without another word you were buried between her legs. You kissed the top of her clit before your tongue dragged up the length of her cunt. Kate was a moaning mess up top which only added more fuel to your fire.

Your tongue moved in all directions to pull beautiful sounds from Kate’s mouth, but you wanted more. Your right hand moved from her thigh to the inside of her legs. You took care to gently slide one finger inside her while your lips were still wrapped around her clit. Your finger moved at a quick rhythm, making Kate’s lips move at the same pace as your hand.

“You feel so good,” Kate whimpered. “Keep going, I’m getting close.”

You took this as an incentive to slide another finger inside. Your pace quickened as you were trying to drag Kate to her climax. Between her moans and Kate’s wetness collecting around your fingers, this all felt like a dream.

“I wanna hear you, let it out Katie,” you instructed her. She followed quickly behind your words, her high crashing down and soaking your mouth and fingers all the same. You helped her ride out her high by slowing your fingers down and leaving soft pecks on her inner thighs.

You worked your way up her body until you were face to face. Kate pulled you down by your neck and kissed you, sliding her tongue into your mouth, tasting herself.

“That was even better than how I imagined it,” you said before thinking.

“Oh yeah? How did you imagine it before?” Kate inquiried.

“I prefer to keep that to myself. Now, how about I get you some clothes and we can eat this room temperature food?”

Kate smiled and nodded before you helped her off the counter. You found sweatpants and a shirt in your room that you offered to her which she gladly took. Once you were both cleaned up, you went back into the living room to cuddle up on the couch.

You laid down first to get comfortable before Kate laid beside you and scooted in close. “It’s kind of nice doing this when I know you’ll remember it,” you smiled.

“I told you, I knew what I was doing. I wanted you in my bed.”

You settled in and started playing with Kate’s hair. Months ago you never would’ve thought you would be in this position with Kate, but everything seemed too good to be true. That’s why you were unphased when the door to the apartment opened and your roommates came piling in.

“I really thought that girl was going to- oh hi you two,” Valkyrie paused.

“Don’t mind us, just passing through,” Nat smiled.

“I’m not. I need something to eat before I get cranky,” Yelena said. “Pasta!”

“Oh that’s for-”

“God this is delicious,” Yelena cut you off. “Have you ever tried this? It’s so good.”

Kate shook her head and laughed. “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure yet.” She looked knowingly at you and laughed.

Yelena walked further into the kitchen and stopped in her tracks. Her body was out of frame when she bent over to look down at the floor. When she was upright again her face held a curious frown.

“Did someone lose some…panties?” Yelena held up a pair of purple lace underwear for everyone to see.

Kate slowly pulled the blanket over her face, trying her best to hide the redness that had spread. Everyone looked towards you with a knowing smirk and burst into laughter.

It was fitting that a perfect night with Kate would end like this. It ended just like it had started with Kate, and that was all you could ask for.

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.

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[thewildernesschooses]

Stone Cold Sober, a nataliexreader one shot

soooooo, basically you’re close friends with nat and you’re both gay :)

You don’t know why you were even chosen for this. You weren’t the second best shot, Travis was. He should be hiking out to the middle of nowhere where right now, not you. Also, he was a boy and this felt like boy stuff.

Travis was being difficult but no one could give him a particularly hard time about it. Seeing Coach skewered on a tree freaked you all out but it devastated Travis. He wasn’t like this before. He would never be the same.

Coach Ben volunteered you to accompany Natalie on the hunt, he said solo hunting parties were dangerous when hiking that far out. Natalie tried to convince him it was fine but he held firm.

And, yeah, it hurt that Natalie had basically refused to spend time with you alone the entire time you had been stuck in these god-forsaken woods. Especially because she was the one who kissed you.

Natalie didn’t have a car so you gave her rides to things sometimes. Your parents liked to live a little ways from town so you were only a couple of streets over from the trailer park Natalie and Van lived in. You had offered them both a ride but only Natalie accepted, Van had been getting rides from Taissa recently even though you knew Taissa lived by the school. But whatever, if they thought they were being slick with their queer little looks, you would play along. Can’t throw rocks in glass houses and all that.

Usually, it was fun to ride there and back together. You would get slurpees on the way back and Natalie’s parents didn’t care about you guys smoking weed on their porch. That’s the only nice thing you had to say about either of them.

The ride there was standard. Natalie and you always looked a little funny together. You were pretty square, wore whatever your mom got you from the GAP every season. Natalie was something else entirely. She didn’t have much more but she had an identity. You were sometimes envious of that about her. She didn’t feel all this pressure to not be herself.

You got to the party and Natalie went off with her alternative friends. They were apparently trying to score acid but you doubted that ginger kid she hung around wouldn’t get ripped off with some tissue paper. You never drank but you smoked a little, early enough for it to wear off by the time you had to drive home. You wouldn’t want to wrap yourself around a tree the night before nationals.

Shauna and Taissa got into some kind of catfight. Shauna always got confrontational when she was drunk. She kept everything too bottled up sober to not. Jackie tried to fix it but there was no fixing the fact that Taissa subconsciously crippled a freshman.

You were trying to catch Natalie’s eye, you usually would make eye contact when Jackie was acting like an 80s high school rom-com protagonist but she was staring off into space and giggling. Jesus Christ. That ginger managed to score acid.

You got pulled away from the team huddle by some baseball boys you were cool with, they offered you some wine coolers and a ride home but you declined. You weren’t ditching Natalie like this (and you kinda thought they were pigs who were only good for getting joints).

Eventually, you got back to Natalie where she was transfixed on the bonfire. She was mumbling things about Misty Quigley and the Olympics. You just hoped she came down in time for Nationals.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” She didn’t react until you put your hand on her shoulder. She jumped but settled when she realized it was you and smiled. The weed must’ve been strong because you felt floaty all of a sudden again.

She kept looking at you for a little before she stood up. She didn’t follow you until you grabbed her hand to guide her to your car. The person next to you parked like shit so you had to crawl over her in the passenger seat to get to the drivers. She grabbed onto your hips and tried to help you into your seat but it made you feel less coordinated for some reason. You’d really have to get one of those boys to get you more of that weed when you got back.

When you went to shift gears, Nat put her hand on yours. You assumed she was just feeling the LSD and wanted some connection so you let her have it. She was still giggling occasionally, you didn’t know what about. She started tracing her fingers on your palm but you couldn’t make out what she was drawing or writing. Maybe it was just the tactile sensation she wanted.

After a while, you pulled up next to her trailer. She didn’t rush to get out. You didn’t mind if she wanted to stay and talk, you’d always be happy to talk to Natalie, even if she was drugged up and incoherent.

She took a deep breath and turned to face you. You were already looking at her. She was just so cool, it almost hurt. That jacket she never took off, except for practice, looked almost blue in the motion-activated lights.

You thought she was going to say something. Maybe something funny but knowing Nat, it could be something accidentally profound. Instead, she reached over the console and kissed you. Closed mouth, chaste, but a real kiss. She was still holding your hand and everything. You were going to push her away but she backed up first. You thought she would look freaked out but she was still looking at you expectantly. That same look as when she slides her Slurpee next to yours at the counter and just knows you’ll pay for it.

You’re gonna pay for this, you thought to yourself.

“You’re high, Nat. You didn’t mean that.” You nervously chuckle, all of a sudden half hoping she did.

Natalie obviously didn’t see anything awkward or out of place. She was still holding your hand for Christ’s sake. She was smiling at you like you were just the sweetest thing.

“I liked it though.” So cheeky, always. So herself.

You looked down at your joined hands, why hadn’t you let go yet? Why hadn’t she? You liked it too and that scared you.

“Yeah, but Coach Ben talked about how when you’re drunk, you shouldn’t really do stuff with people because they don’t know what they're doing and I’m pretty sure that extends to acid, y’know?

Her voice was all low and gravelly. “So if I wasn’t tripping, you’d come inside?”

“I’m going to assume you didn’t mean that either. You should go inside, Nat. Alone.” You were talking big game for someone who hadn’t let go of her hand yet.

“I don’t want to be alone right now, I want to be kissing you.” How could she just say things like that? Girls didn’t just say things like that. It was uncouth.

You tried to tell her exactly that but she just groaned a little and said “You’re not convincing me you don’t want to kiss me.” She was all pouty and emotional right now. God help you.

You were going to say something stupid because of her. Stupidly honest.

“If you still feel this way tomorrow, we can talk about it then. We’re going to be sharing a room with Taissa and Van and they sneak off together a lot.” She was going to argue before you cut her off by saying, “You’re not going to be able to convince me to take advantage of you.”

She giggled more. “No matter how much you want to?” Starry eyes was not an apt phrase for hers.

You kept looking at her and let go of her hand slowly. What are the odds she even remembers this tomorrow? What the hell, say it. “No matter how much I want to.”

You guessed that was close enough to what she wanted. She got out and skipped to her front door. She looked at your car before walking in and blew you a kiss. You hoped no one saw anything. You hoped she forgot this all because you blew one back.

She obviously didn’t forget it all.

She got out of Van’s mom’s car and didn’t look at you once at the airport. She saw you saving a seat next to yourself and sat a couple of rows up front alone.

The only time she had talked to you, hell, even looked at you, was when she found you after the crash. You had a nasty gash on your calve and your nose was bleeding from a bag falling on your face. Adrenaline had you running from the wreckage further than everybody else because your brain was telling you it was going to explode for some reason. You ran for a minute or two until your leg started to hurt and you realized that no one else was with you. When you didn’t hear any explosions, you started limping back.

It took more time to get back than it did for you to sprint away. You returned to chaos that was mostly directed by Misty Quigley.

Taissa was looking around, shouting Van’s name. Natalie was shouting yours. You were already out of breath but seeing Natalie shouting for you made it worse. You couldn’t get a big enough breath in to let her know you were ok before she saw you and started running.

Your face must’ve looked worse than it was because she lost it. Natalie didn’t show concern like this usually. She was more likely to get pissed off at you for putting yourself in the situation to get hurt. This was panic.

“Are-Are you ok? God! You’re bleeding a lot. I’m going to get Misty, OK? She’s good at this stuff.” She was tempted to touch your face but didn’t know what hurt. She was terrified to make it worse. To hurt you. “Um, lean forward! Wait! No! Lean back. Or does that make the blood go down your throat? Whatever, keep your head like that. I’ll be right back.”

She didn’t really come back after that. She sent Misty to check on you and made sure you were bandaged up but that’s it. She sat next to other people around the fire, passed the water to the person that was next to you, avoided eye contact.

This was why you never let your mind go there. She had opened up all these feelings that you were content to push onto other things like baseball boys and soccer but now you were 100s of miles away from both and the girl you kissed won’t even look at you.

Actually, correction, she kissed you!

And Coach Ben had somehow contrived the worst way to force you guys to be friends again. If friends was even the right word. Two girls don’t get along anymore? Let’s give them a gun about it!

The two of you tromped through the woods in silence for a long time. You had no inclination to lead and certainly no inclination to be to one to break the silence so you quietly followed. You didn’t even know how to tell the cardinal directions.

The complacency made you feel slightly crazy but she owed you an explanation. She practically forced you to admit to whatever you implied you felt and now she has the audacity to act like you made it weird. She’s the one that kissed her girl best friend! Not you!

This was what drove you insane about Nat. She acted on impulse and did what she wanted. She knew who she was and at one point had chosen to honor that. You both admired her for it and regretted the way it inconvenienced the both of you. So why was she so self-conscious now unless she was disgusted by you?

You were never going to do anything about those urges. You knew it was wrong but sometimes you wanted to touch girls the way boys touched girls. You knew Shauna and Jackie practiced kissing so it wasn’t such a weird thing. And Tai and Van seemed to have a thing too. This is why your father didn’t want you to do women’s sports. It did turn you into a lesbian.

Natalie could practically hear you spiraling. She knew you were losing it but didn’t dare to address anything. She was sure you were just being nice to her when you said all that stuff about talking when she was sober. You were nice and from a good family. You didn’t need to throw all that away by turning gay and dating a burnout.

Natalie didn’t want to make you say it. She knew you were too nice to just tell her she was a weird predator. You fought to not have to come with her today even though three weeks ago, you had volunteered to go to Saturday detention with her even though you had no slip. You were sweet like that.

Natalie mourned the inevitable loss of your relationship. She valued your opinion in a way she never had anyone else. She trusted you. She knew you were a good person and Natalie knew how rare that was. Of course, she would go and fuck it all up.

She heard you sniffling. She hoped your nose was ok. It looked like the bruising went away but you started making that nasal sound again.

It took a little for her to realize you were crying. You didn’t cry. Natalie turned around to face you, knowing she had to put an end to this. You obviously were taking it hard.

It was embarrassing for you to cry like this, especially when you were so committed to staying steadfast but you needed Nat, especially with all this crazy shit happening. You couldn’t take her just ignoring you until you got rescued.

Natalie was looking at you with a blank face which made it worse. How could she go from smiling at you to looking like that? You had read everything so wrong.

“I’m sorry I kissed you. I made everything complicated and I didn’t mean to. Can we just forget it happened? Say it was the acid and weed and call it even?” Natalie was trying to act casual like it was no big deal. Just an awkward thing to deal with like walking in on someone changing. But you didn’t want to forget about it. You couldn’t no matter how much you had tried. She had showed you an option you didn’t even know was there. One you kept exploring in your head.

Humiliatingly, you started crying more, wiping the tears away like you could hide them. You practically yelled, “No, you don’t just get to forget about it. You kissed me and you’ve just got to live with it no matter how disgusting you find me.” Not the plan but OK! Emotional honesty had rarely gotten you anywhere good but you could try again.

“What? I don’t find you disgusting?” She looked confused and walked closer as if to prove that to you.

“Then why do you refuse to even look at me? You kissed me! And I’m sorry I kissed back when I knew you were fucked up but I never would take advantage! I didn’t even know I would want to do anything like that until you did it to me first so this is all your fault.”

Natalie scoffed. “My fault? You’re the one that let me hold your hand the whole ride. You got in my lap on the way in!”

“I’m not going to do this with you. Let’s just turn back and tell Coach we can’t do this together.” You tried to school your expression. She totally didn’t read that right. You weren’t flirting that whole night.

You turn around to walk back to the cabin when she grabs your hand. That same hand you kept on the gear shift. The one she held before your worst nightmares came true.

It was enough to make you turn around. She was always enough to make you turn around.

She struggles to say it but Nat asks “Were you serious? About talking about it later? You weren’t just saying that to be nice so you could let me down easy later?” Natalie wasn’t usually unsteady like this. Sure of herself was her natural state.

“No, I wanted to talk about it at Nationals but…you know.” You were going to try being honest. “I liked what happened.”

Natalie exhaled something close to a chuckle like she couldn’t believe it. “I did too. Like it, I mean.” You squeezed her hand that had grabbed yours

You made the same sort of chuffed sound. “What does this all mean?” You asked.

She squeezed your hand, “Whatever you want it to mean.”

That was difficult because you had no idea. Natalie was the one who always knew what she wanted. She could walk into any thrift store and find herself in the racks, could walk into any classroom and find the person that was broken like her. You had spent most of high school feeling the contact high that was Natalie Scatorccio. Now she was asking you to score some on your own.

But maybe that was tiring, always being sure. Maybe it wasn’t as natural for her as it was necessary.

You braced yourself, about to say something ridiculous, “Maybe we could just do what we want out here. Figure it out a little more before we decide.” It felt contradictory that your big exploration of self started with being comfortable with not knowing but you figured that’s how it usually went. Acknowledging you have a problem first and all that.

“Does figuring it out involve kissing you again?” She was always so cheeky, you’re glad the plane crash didn’t take that.

“If that’s what you want.”

“I think it’s what I’ve wanted for a while.” She stepped even closer to you. The distance you two would usually have when she was telling you a secret.

And you knew this was all supposed to be a secret. That you both would get home soon and probably forget all about this. Baseball boys and goths would get in between the both of you. But for now, in the woods, away from your conservative father and judgemental eyes, you could finally just do what you wanted. And you wanted to kiss Natalie fucking Scatorccio, stone-cold sober.