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honey-minded-hivemind · 2 years ago

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Due to my last post being a platonic yandere playlist featuring a few characters I like, I've decided to compile a small list of songs here for each character I mentioned! Now, some may feature songs that can be anything from wild to dark to fluffy. But all of it is about that character in particular, or their (platonic) relationship to their bby (a.k.a. the reader, you!). And this is just my opinion. So, if you headcanon different songs for them, that is a-okay👍 We are here to have fun and enjoy platonic yanderes; no need for any arguments. Let's begin (p.s. everyone gets a Christmas song. You can imagine it either fitting them, being sung by them, or you and them singing/listening to it together):

• 🧡Wolverine/Logan Howlett🦡: Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls, Hallelujah by Panic! At The Disco, Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen, I Can't Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley (you can do a sweet cover or a dark cover if you want), Demons by Imagine Dragons, Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce, Bring Me to Life by Evanescence, Take Me To Church by Hozier, I Will Wait by Mumford & Sons... 🌨Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Frank Sinatra🌨

• 🦁Sabretooth/Victor Creed🦷: Meet Me in the Woods by Lord Huron, Hidden in the Sand by Tally Hall, Animals by Maroon 5, All of Me by John Legend, Emperor's New Clothes by Panic! At The Disco, Trust Me (The Scorpion And The Frog) by Terrance Zdunich;Saar Hendelman;Marc Senter; and Paul Sorvino, Natural by Imagine Dragons, Duality by Set It Off, Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran, Twilight Zone by Golden Earring... 🤴Good King Wenceslas sung by Bing Crosby🤴

• 🦡Wolverine 2.0/Laura Kinney💛: Heart Attack by Demi Lovato, I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry, Give Your Heart a Break by Demi Lovato, Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears, This Is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco, Cake by Melanie Martinez, It's Time by Imagine Dragons, Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) by Eurythmics, Immortals by Fall Out Boy... ❄Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! by Dean Martin (or Frank Sinatra)❄

• 🐺Daken/Akihiro🌀: Some Nights by Fun., You're My Best Friend by Queen, Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day, The Ballad of Mona Lisa by Panic! At The Disco, Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5, Unholy by Kim Petras and Sam Smith, I Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons, Royals by Lorde, Partners in Crime by Set It Off... 🌌 Silent Night by (anyone, really)🌌

• 🔥Marvel Girl/The Phoenix/Jean Grey🦚: Ain't No Moutain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrel, Just Like Fire by P!ink, Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys, Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me) by Train, Hey Look Ma, I Made It by Panic! At The Disco, Diamonds by Rihanna, Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons, Control by Halsey, Bad Romance by Lady Gaga... ☃️ It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Andy Williams (or Amy Grant's cover)☃️

• 😎Cyclops/Scott Summers🚨: Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley, Yellow by Coldplay, I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco, Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons, Heat Waves by Glass Animals, Bad Guy by Set It Off, Lean On by Major Lazer and DJ Snake (or the Pentatonix cover, either works), Unconditionally by Katy Perry, Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men... 🎁It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas by Bing Crosby (or sung by Micheal Buble)🎁

• 🥈Cable/Nathan Summers🤖: Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes, Radioactive by Imagine Dragons, Roaring 20s by Panic! At The Disco, I Want To Know What Love Is by Foreigner, Hey Soul Sister by Train, Just the Two of Us by Bill Withers and Grover Washington Jr., You Are My Sunshine by Jimmie Davis (or any cover version you prefer), You Are So Beautiful by Joe Crocker, A Thousand Years by David Hodges and Christina Perri... 🕊Happy Xmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon and Yoko Ono🕊

• 🎭Mystique/Raven Darkholme💙: Karma Chameleon by the Culture Club, What's Love Got To Do With It by Tina Turner, Cool for the Summer by Demi Lovato, Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar, Victorious by Panic! At The Disco, Birds by Imagine Dragons, Killer Queen by Queen, Applause by Lady Gaga, Sugar We're Goin Down by Fall Out Boy... 🎅Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt🎅

• 🎱Rogue/Anne-Marie🥀: Darkside by Alan Walker, Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen, Good as Hell by Lizzo, House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco, It's Time by Imagine Dragons, River by Bishop Briggs, Just Dance by Lady Gaga, Like I'm Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor, Stand By You by Rachel Platten... 🎄Rockin Around the Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee🎄

• ♠️Gambit/Remy LeBeau♥️:Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds, Raise Your Glass by P!nk, Call Me by Blondie, Somewhere Only We Know by Keane, Miss Jackson by Panic! At The Disco, Bones by Imagine Dragons, Team by Lorde, Umbrella by Rihanna, Poker Face by Lady Gaga... 🥶 Baby It's Cold Outside by Dean Martin (or any cover you like)🥶

• 🌌Nightcrawler/Kurt Wagner😇: Count On Me by Bruno Mars, Born This Way by Lady Gaga, Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars, Halo by Beyonce, High Hopes by Panic! At The Disco, Mouth of the River by Imagine Dragons, You're Beautiful by James Blunt, Church by Fall Out Boy, Hallelujah cover by Pentatonix... 🌟 Joy To The World cover by (anyone of your choice as long as it is the Christmas song)🌟

And I have a surprise playlist to add: the reader!

•🌈 You/The Protagonist (Darling)💖: I'll Be There For You by The Rembrandts (a.k.a. the themesong from Friends), True Colors by Cyndi Lauper, Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time by Panic! At The Disco, Amsterdam by Imagine Dragons, On Top of the World by Imagine Dragons, Try by P!nk, Panic Room by Au/Ra, BANG! by AJR, I'm Still Standing by Elton John... 🐑Do You Hear What I Hear? sung by (anyone you prefer, guy or gal or nonbinary pal)🐑

And that is all for now! I spent about 10-11 hours on this. All of these songs I have listened to/heard before. The pairings are just my opinion. If you disagree, that is okay. Just don't bring any arguments here. These playlists are all PLATONIC yandere ONLY. No romance, no sex! Now, yes, some songs are sexual, or intimate. But they are meant by me to be platonic in this playlist, or to show a part of the character who they are paired with. The playlist can describe the platonic yan's relationship to their bby, the yandere themself, or even just songs that fit their personality/theme/tone! If you want to make a playlist on a music app or whatever there is, you can do so, just give credit to me for putting the songs together. The rest of your video/playlist/creation is yours. Here is a very thoroughly thought out honeycomb thought!

#platonic yandere marvel #honeycomb thoughts #platonic yandere x reader #yandere playlist #yandere x-men #platonic yandere #yandere platonic

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eidolonshiva · 20 days ago

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I thought I’d make a little bio for Vega because I’ve been drawing her a lot lately. She’s actually one of my older characters that was originally designed for a dark fantasy storyline. But @asdfghjklbeeeees and I decided that the world has enough dark stuff happening, so we changed it up to be a comedic take on what happens when characters in an RPG setting gain awareness of what is happening with the game mechanics and how they can game the system. (Possible working title? "I Wish I Was an NPC.")

Name: Vega

Nicknames/Aliases: Duchess of Dali, Lady of the Frost, Snow Maiden, White Witch

Pronouns: She/her

Age: Centuries old, but appears to be in her 20’s-30’s.

Alignment: True Neutral occasionally leaning into Lawful Evil.

Job Class: Cleric/White Mage/Healer/Witch

Actual Job: Duchess of a small hamlet and proprietor of the Lapin de la Lune, a teahouse turned gay bar.

Sexuality: Aromantic/Asexual

Relationships:

Rameki: Officially, Rameki is one of her retainers. In reality he’s basically her pet lich. Rameki and Vega go way back and have a complicated, symbiotic relationship. She keeps him in check (or at least tries to) and he does her bidding. If Rameki had his way, they would be an evil power couple. But Vega has other ideas on how to keep her status without his cartoonish villainy. They’re in a one-sided situationship. Vega doesn’t care what Rameki does, so long as he does not embarrass her in the process.

Claudio: Vega’s hairstylist-turned-retainer. The third party member who wishes he didn’t have that dialogue option to allow him to become part of the party and is now having a bad time as he's now become aware of everything around him. He’s Vega’s best friend and informant.

Makai: An occassional guest star. Florida-man in a big tiddy fish form. A beloved himbo who's an absolute powerhouse. Vega generally gets along with him, but can only take him in small doses.

Personality: Vega is hundreds of years old and is just kind of done with everything at this point. Despite how she’s drawn, she’s not “rude” or “mean;” she is unable to emote and has a perpetually bored/slightly annoyed look on her face. Vega speaks with a flat affect in a quite tone that is barely above a whisper (think Miranda Priestly.) She’s quick-witted and always has a classy retort. She has never uttered a foul word in her life. Everything she does is deliberate and with a regal air.

She is fond of animals, especially rabbits. Her property is filled with an array of various cold-climate creatures. She has a kirin as her mount.

Vega is surprisingly funny in how blunt her actions are (or at least I think so). If some gross guy opens the door for her, she’ll just turn around and go home. If someone she doesn’t like is talking, she’ll just close her eyes and openly dissociate.

Powers: Vega has complete manipulation of the weather around her. You can feel her coming as the air will get colder. Her MP is never completely full as she’s always using some of her magic. She usually has ice crystals in her hair a sheen of frost on her skin.

Playlist:

“A Little Wicked” – Valerie Broussard

“Castle” – Halsey

“Midnight Waltz” – David Garrett

“Gloria Regali” – Tommee Profitt

“The Four Seasons” Winter” – Vivaldi

“How Villains Are Made” – Madalen Duke

“Glass Princess” – Adrian Von Ziegler

“Ice Queen” – Within Temptation

“Empires” – Ruelle

“Everybody Wants to Rule the World” – Lorde

“Cosmogony” - Yoko Shimomura

#oc: vega #original character

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thisgirlnamedblusy · 2 years ago

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Oh I like the jealous reader fic you wrote! Can we get another one, please? Maybe this time it's Marilyn x fem student reader where the rumor mill of Nevermore speculates that Marilyn and Larissa are dating and reader is devastated by it, because she's secretly in love with Marilyn. One day she walks into Jericho's café and sees Larissa and Marilyn sitting together, maybe Marilyn is laughing at something Larissa said but reader mistakes it that they're on a date and runs crying back to Nevermore. Marilyn notices that the reader seemed upset and didn't even order anything just took off so Marilyn goes to reader's room to check on her and is horrified to find a sobbing reader packing her bags.

Reader at first won't tell her why she's leaving but possessive Marilyn in her desperation tries to stop reader from leaving and ends up on top of reader on reader's bed and confessions and rough smut happens with jealous reader biting Marilyn's neck and shoulders. Thank you thank you thank you!

Yesss!!!! Here it is!!!! I hope you like it, and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :))))))

Rumors

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill x Fem, Student! Reader

Warnings: Smut, jealous reader, possessive Marilyn, manipulation

Word count: 4,575

Summary: Your friends are the rumor’s factory at Nevermore, One day one of them made you to feel terribly bad, one about the woman you loved…

N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays, I’m working hard on your requests. I love you all!!!

“Hey, (Y/N), are you with us?” Enid, your classmate, asked. You shook your head, snapping out of the little fantasies you were projecting in your mind. You smiled and nodded, pretending you hadn't come back from a far away place.

“What's wrong with you lately?” Yoko, another of your best friends asked. You frowned, pretending you had no idea what they were talking about.

“I don't know, what's wrong with me?” You asked, sitting down on that wooden bench. The two girls looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

“Yoko and I have the impression that you are hiding something from us,” Enid said, crossing her arms. Your other friend nodded, reaffirming that sentence.

“I'm not hiding anything, I'm like an open book,” you lied on purpose.

It's not that you were doing something wrong, or something that had to be kept secret. Nothing of that. You were hiding some feelings that had begun to form little by little inside you, and that you did not want to tell. Feelings of appreciation, admiration and yes, love.

“Hello girls,” Your botany teacher, Marilyn Thornhill, said, shyly approaching the place where you were.

“Hello Ms. Thornhill…” Your companions sighed. You just smiled, seeing what she had in her hand.

“Here, (Y/N), I found the book of rare desert plants you asked about the other day,” she told you kindly, handing you that little book.

“Tha, thanks,” you stammered, trying not to get nervous when your hand lightly brushed against hers.

Yes, she was your secret love. You loved that woman, your teacher. She seemed the kindest and kindest person in the world to you. You spent many hours studying botany to stand out in her class, to make her notice you. You got it. All of her questions were directed at you and you managed to answer correctly. You even stayed with her one afternoon, helping her to water the plants. You wanted to spend as much time with Marilyn as possible. You needed to be close to her.

Naturally you understood that your love was impossible, that she shouldn't feel anything for you. You didn't care, it was enough for you to dream what a relationship with her would be like, clandestine or not. You thought how it would be to caress her skin, to kiss her lips.

You thought about it in the dark, in the solitude of your dreams and thoughts. You weren't going to let anyone find out, especially not your friends, the undisputed queens of Nevermore gossip.

“Don't forget the oasis section, there are some species that you can't see anywhere else,” the redhead told you, pointing to the book that she had just handed you.

You obviously didn't care much for the desert plants, you did care that she had bothered to look for that book, and that she was giving it to you.

“Oh, how interesting,” you said, falsely leafing through the book, desperately trying to get her to stay a few more seconds by your side. “Where is it?”

Marilyn walked over and turned the pages. She was very close to you, you could smell her perfume. You had to fight against yourself not to close your eyes and enjoy that feeling.

“Let's see… Here it is,” she murmured, pointing to one of the pages. You looked up and smiled again, grateful, and captivated with love.

Marilyn returned your smile. Your imagination went too far, it even made you believe that you could see the same brightness in her eyes that yours had.

“There is no rush to return it to me, take your time,” she told you, moving away a bit. You nodded again, under the watchful eye of your gossipy friends.

“Thank you, Miss Thornhill,” you whispered in a small voice, watching how the redhead walked away, but not before turning her head towards you and smiling again, tenderly, even somehow shy. You were so obsessed that you almost had a heart attack when Yoko snapped her fingers in front of you.

“Hey, desert plant, wake up,” she told you, pushing you gently. You glared at her and snorted.

Enid moved a little, when she saw that the redhead had disappeared from her field of vision.

“Girls, come, I have rumors,” she said, gesturing for you to approach her. You both obeyed, even if it seemed a bit absurd. The three of you were at one of the tables in the quad, there was enough distance for no one to hear you. Enid liked the show too much.

“We already know Enid, Bianca and Xavier have broken up,” you said, rolling your eyes. She shook her head, smiling mischievously.

“No, no, it's something else…” She said, whispering. Yoko nudged you.

“Let it go once and for all,” the vampire said.

“Well, it's not official at all, okay?” She started. Yoko and you looked at each other.

“Like all your rumors, Enid,” you said, joking.

“The fact is that they say that Miss Thornhill and Principal Weems… Well, that they are together.”

Your heart stopped. That couldn't be, it just couldn't be. Of all the absurd rumors that Enid spread, this was one of the ones that sounded the most credible to you, to your utter disgrace.

“But what are you saying? That's not true,” Yoko said, laughing. You didn't say anything. You kept your gaze fixed on the ground, thinking about that horrible statement.

“Yes, I'm telling you,” Enid reaffirmed. “They are always together and smile a lot.”

“Are those your proofs?” The vampire questioned.

You kept quiet, fighting for the tears that were forming in your eyes not to come out. You didn't want to believe it, but as much as you searched for images in your head, only the apparent confirmation of that rumor appeared. Enid was right. Marilyn and Larissa spend a lot of time together. You saw it as a simple friendship, a normal working relationship, and you were also aware of the distrust that the other teachers had in the redhead due to her normie status.

From that moment on, nothing you had seen seemed to you a coincidence. An overwhelming anguish began to weigh too heavily on your chest. But you couldn't scream, deny everything. You had to shut up and act as discreetly as possible.

“I think it's true,” the blonde said, looking at you. “(Y/N), what do you think?” She asked you directly.

“I…” You stammered, trying in vain to erase the horrible images that had begun to form in your head. “I, I don’t know.”

“Are you alright?” The vampire asked. You shook your head, getting up from that bench in a hurry and walking to your room.

You cried uncontrollably into the pillow. You had assumed that a relationship would never be possible. But that she might have a lover never crossed your mind, someone who had her heart. Just thinking about it made you feel weak, sad, and powerless. You had no right to get angry, to hit the furniture and tear the curtains. She didn't belong to you, she never did and she never would. You had no choice but to accept the facts, to assume that this rumor might be true, and learn to live with it. Maybe to try to forget about her, to turn the page.

You were only fooling yourself. Forgetting about her was something you were simply incapable of.

You began to wander aimlessly through the halls, like a ghost, a lost soul. That ridiculous rumor made you depressed. You no longer stayed with Marilyn after class, you no longer asked her for books, to help you with your study. You had moved away from her. Not because you didn't love her, in fact, you felt more love than ever, more because of a feeling of irrational resentment that you had when you saw Larissa, when you saw them together.

Your friends also noticed that change. They insisted on asking you what was wrong with you, but after many questions and no answers, they decided to just support you in whatever it was that passed for your feelings.

“I confirm, Natalie is with Bob,” Enid said, while she tirelessly typed on her phone.

“Great, another fact that I didn't need to know,” Yoko said, joking.

Like every Saturday, you were in Jericho, enjoying a delicious smoothie at Weathervane. You continued with a downcast look and with little desire to discover the couples that were forming around you. Many nights you thought about leaving. Leave Nevermore so you can forget about her once and for all. Everything around you was starting to go wrong. Your grades... Your hours of sleep... It was a malevolent spiral that each time dragged you more and more to the dark grounds of depression and hate, yes hate.

The little bell rang, drawing your gaze. You wish there had never been a bell.

Marilyn entered the cafeteria, but she didn't do it alone. She did it with Larissa. Your fists clenched as did your lips. At any moment your teeth would hurt you. You were furious

The two women came up and greeted you politely.

“Hey girls, enjoying a nice fall afternoon?” Larissa said, placing a hand on your shoulder, which you immediately pushed away.

“We're fine, thanks,” you said in a brusque and not very polite way. The woman said nothing, she just raised her eyebrows and went to sit at a table. The redhead stared at you for a moment.

“Are you alright?” She asked with a soft tone, which seemed to you the most false in the world. You looked at her with anger.

“Yes, I'm fine, thanks,” you said, measuring your words a little. Her eyes prevented you from hating her as much as your heart asked.

She looked at you strangely and also left, dedicating another serious, unfriendly look.

“Uh, (Y/N),” Enid said. “What had just happened?”

You crossed your arms, without answering.

The minutes passed in silence. It seemed to you that fate itself was playing some tasteless jokes on you. Marilyn and Larissa were in your line of vision.

You were getting more and more nervous. Enid didn't help you at all.

“What do you say now?” She whispered, pointing to the two women with her head. “Do you still think it's just a rumor?”

“I'm going to order something,” you said, getting up, not wanting to hear that conversation again.

You went to the counter, glancing sideways at the redhead and her companion. You leaned back, feeling the vein in your neck bulge with anger.

A too familiar laugh reached your ears. You turned your head. Marilyn laughed affectionately at a comment the principal said to her.

That was too much for you, too much to bear. You could survive on the possibility that the rumor wasn't true, that it was just a fabrication. But you had just confirmed it, that shy laugh did it. You couldn't take it anymore. Tears ran uncontrollably down your cheeks.

At that moment it was very clear to you. You had to run away Run away and don't look back.

You ran out of the cafeteria, not caring who saw you, what your friends thought. You ran to Nevermore in an inconsolable cry. It was crazy, but you couldn't see any other solution. You had to get out of there, as far away as possible. To another city, another country, another world.

You didn't stop when you got to school. You collided with your colleagues, who told you and asked things that you could not decipher. You had only one objective, to get to your room, pack your bags and run away, regardless of the consequences.

You abruptly opened the door and grabbed the suitcase you had under your bed, without stopping crying, sobbing. You could hardly think straight, throwing whatever you caught into the luggage.

You didn't even hear your door open.

“(Y/N), what are you doing?” Marilyn asked, looking at you with wide eyes. You turned your head but looked away immediately. She was definitely the last person you wanted to see.

“Go away,” you said dryly. You were acting like she was to blame. It wasn't like that, it was your fault for falling in love with who you shouldn't.

“I've seen you run out of the cafeteria, it seemed to me that you were... Are you crying?” She asked, approaching you and stopping when she realized that you were packing your suitcase. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I told you to go…” You sobbed, while you closed the suitcase. “You don’t care.”

“Of course I care, I'm your teacher,” She told you, smiling ironically. “I can't let you leave school.”

“I'm of legal age, I can do whatever I want,” you said defiantly, looking over the top in case you had left something important. She looked at you horrified. Marilyn surely didn't recognize the adorable girl that she would blush when she smiled at her.

“But what's wrong with you, (Y/N)? You've been avoiding me for days, ignoring me as if I didn't exist and now, suddenly you say you're leaving school. Forgive me, but I would like you to give me an explanation, what's more, I demand you an explanation,” she told you in a dark, authoritative tone.

“Since when do you care about what happens to me?” You asked furiously.

“What?”

“You don't care about anything, you only care because it's your job. I'm leaving because I don't want to see you again, do you understand? I'm leaving because of you!” You cried.

“Because of me? What have I done to you?” She asked offended, in a tone as loud as yours.

You were going to answer, but you regretted it at the last moment. You were already humiliated enough, you didn't need to confess your feelings, it would be ridiculous.

“Nothing, forget it,” you said walking past her, hitting her shoulder on purpose.

A strong grip on your wrist prevented you from continuing to walk.

“Do you think I'm going to let you go just like that?” She told you, pulling you, maybe a little abrupt.

“Let me go!” You yelled. You couldn't do anything. She was holding you very tight. It was going to leave a mark on your skin, sure.

“Not until you tell me why you're leaving,” she growled, forcing you not to escape.

“I'm not going to do it!” You screamed enraged, crying and feeling how you stopped trying to get away.

“You're earning a visit to Principal Weems, young lady,” the redhead said, loosening her grip a bit.

That comment was what you needed to completely lose your mind. In an act too brazen and infamous, you violently pushed the redhead, knowing that you would not be expelled if you escaped from there. Marilyn backed away, shaking her head, clearly surprised.

“Go visit her, you're looking forward to it,” you hissed, picking up your suitcase.

“My dear, you're not well…” She whispered, with a surprised look but with a slightly dark touch.

“You're right, I'm not well, and that's why I'm leaving, so I'll stop bothering you,” you said, heading towards the door.

“Wait!” She snapped. “Don't go, please, let's talk about things, okay?” She asked a little calmer.

Tears fell on the wooden floor as you took the doorknob with your hand. Your attitude, that discussion, didn't make any sense. You had pushed a teacher for having a personal life, for something she was not to blame for.

The redhead changed her expression again and ran towards you, slamming the half-open door shut loudly.

You were going to protest, to scream in rage, to let out all the anger that you still had. You couldn't say a word. Unexpectedly, Marilyn lunged at you, grabbing your jaw between her fingers, squeezing it so hard that you closed your eyes.

“Listen to me, you brat...” She hissed, leaving aside her peaceful and kind appearance. You tried to free yourself from that grip, but it was impossible. “You're not going anywhere. I don't care if you are of legal age...”

As she spoke she took small steps towards where your bed was located, pushing you, without releasing that strong grip. She didn't seem like the same person.

When your legs collided with the bed, she kept pushing, dropping you onto the mattress.

“No one plays with me, (Y/N). Don't think I'm going to let you go,” she said with contempt, climbing on top of you.

You were paralyzed, blocked, you didn't know what was happening. Would you have gone crazy? Surely you had been there for a long time, too long.

“What are you doing?” You asked, leaving the cockiness and anger aside. You were a little scared by that sudden change in attitude, but also strangely pleased.

“I'm the one who asks the questions, (Y/N)…” She whispered to you, putting your hands above your head, immobilizing you. “Why do you want to leave? Why do you want to leave me alone?”

That question surprised you, she left you speechless.

“W…what?” You stammered, earning her grip to tighten even more.

“Answer, (Y/N). I thought we were friends, that we had complicity. I'm so alone here... and you want to leave, leave me and you don't even want to tell me why.”

“I don't understand you…” You whispered, shaking your head, trying not to make her hurt you anymore. “You have… You have Larissa.”

“Larissa? What are you talking about?”

“You are… You are together…. Everyone says so…”

“What a nonsense...” She said, finally letting you go and standing upright on top of you. The heat you felt on your hips caught your attention. You would never have imagined being like this with her, much less in those circumstances. The absurdity of that moment made you even dizzy.

“I thought that…”

“Well, you thought wrong, (Y/N). Don't tell me that's why you wanted to leave…” She said with a tone that even seemed a bit mocking to you.

You had no choice… You had to tell the truth. Well, you nodded with tears in your eyes. She smiled, as if she somehow knew that this was going to be your answer.

“Oh really? How sweet…” She sighed, caressing your cheek. You were embarrassed and humiliated, but you were under her, she was caressing you. You didn't know how to feel. “Don't think that I didn't know you had feelings for me, (Y/N), you don't know how to hide them very well.”

You shifted under her, uncomfortable. You would know you weren't the most discreet girl in the world, but you wouldn't think she would suspect. You didn't say anything, you just looked away from her. Marilyn gently moved your head so that you would look into her eyes again.

She seemed calmer.

“Enough, please,” you sighed, sobbing again. She smiled again, before leaning down and placing her lips on yours.

It was such an unexpected gesture that you even made an attempt to move away from her. You didn't think that was happening. Surely you were dreaming. You would wake up in the sad and dark reality that your life had become. That did not happen. You opened her eyes and her lips were still on yours.

After a while she moved away looking at you with satisfaction.

“Do you still want to leave?” She asked. You, with wide eyes, shook your head. You hadn't stopped to think about that strange tone earlier. It seemed as if the idea of you leaving made her get really mad. She even scared you a little. “Very well, honey, I like it that way, I like you obey me…”

After whispering those words in your ear, the redhead began to move her hips against yours. Your breathing was disordered and nervous, but the sensation that you were beginning to feel began to calm you down, or almost.

“I don't understand anything…” You whispered softly, while the redhead attacked your neck and grabbed your hair.

“Shut up, you'll start to understand it soon,” she told you, putting your hand on her mouth.

Her movements were getting faster and her kisses were getting more and more intense. You decided not to think anymore, you decided to let yourself go, while your shirt climbed up your shoulders before you knew it. A wave of passion invaded you and it was you who launched yourself into her, kissing her intensely, surprising her. You noticed how she smiled against your lips, she seemed pleased, it seemed that it was what she was looking for, but you didn't know for how long.

Desperate gasps began to fill the room. Your roommate could enter at any time, but even that didn't matter to you, you only cared about running your hands over her body, marking every inch of her skin with your kisses. In a second you became rabid, wild. Like unfortunate visions, the images of those false rumors would attack your mind, making you become aggressive. Luckily Marilyn seemed to enjoy your anger, your hatred.

“You really want to make me yours, don't you, (Y/N)?” She hissed, while your mouth had no mercy on her neck, kissing it, biting it as if your life depended on it. That amused her. You wanted to dominate her. Stand your ground and make her see that neither Larissa nor anyone else could touch her, could breathe the same air as her. You were cheating yourself. You were right where she wanted, the way she wanted.

“I… I love you…” You said without thinking, panting, biting and kissing, while a relief in your chest left evidence of the sudden disappearance of your bra.

“My girl... How cute you are... What a good girl... You were so angry because you thought that mommy didn't pay attention to you...” Marilyn whispered in your ear, while her hand played with your breasts, which caused her to moan.

You opened your eyes and analyzed those words. You would never have thought that a woman so cheerful, so kind, and so innocent would be able to talk like that. You didn't care. It was you who was under her, no one else. Not Larissa, you.

“I love you…” You sighed again, while her kisses slowly went down your bare chest. Every word you said, every desperate confession amused her, made her laugh. If you had known before...

“You say you love me, but you wanted to abandon me, to leave me alone,” she said with a tone of false sadness.

It might seem to you that there was some emotional blackmail in her words.

“I didn't know you had feelings for me…” You excused yourself. The tears came back to your eyes. You felt guilty, she made you feel guilty.

“You didn't know…” She repeated, sighing, stopping her movements and looking at your half-naked body.

“I… I'm sorry… I really didn't want to leave. I couldn't stand seeing you with Larissa and…”

You could not continue speaking. A slap crossed your cheek. You screamed from the blow and rubbed the injured area. She looked at you compassionately.

“Don't repeat it again, (Y/N). You're so blind... You can't see beyond your jealousy...” She told you, grabbing your hair and raising your head.

“I'm sorry…” You said again, while your pants slipped off your ankles, under her watchful eye.

“Calm down, (Y/N),” she told you, with a soft, somewhat disturbing tone. “I will teach you to behave properly.”

After those words, her abrupt and violent attitude returned. She grabbed you, flipping you over onto your stomach and pulling down the only piece of clothing you had left. You widened your eyes in surprise, suddenly finding yourself too exposed. That was not your plan. Your plan was to make her yours. You turned your head to see what was happening behind you, but with a sharp slap, Marilyn moved your head back down, pulling your hips up.

You were nervous, noticing how her hands passed through your buttocks, purposely ignoring your crotch.

A loud slap echoed through the room. You screamed and spun around again, earning yourself another even stronger slap.

“Stay still or I won't touch you,” she threatened you.

You nodded, grabbing the sheets from your bed. Finally, as if someone had heard your pleas, her fingers slipped through your wet folds, traversing them with painful slowness.

“Please…” You sighed, wishing the torture would end. You no longer cared about making her yours, you preferred to be hers, you preferred that she dominate you, that she be the one demanding fidelity from you, you realized that you didn't have to worry anymore.

“What an impatient girl…” Marilyn whispered, as she slowly inserted one of her fingers into you. “So wet… My little jealous girl…”

You moaned, closing your eyes at that sensation. You were suffering from the slight contact, but enjoying because it was hers, because she was the woman you were in love with, the one you loved. You were soft, weak, but you didn't care anymore.

“Do you want more, my love?” She asked ironically, scratching your back. You agreed. Obviously that wasn't enough for her. “Say it, (Y/N), beg me, beg mommy.”

“Please… Mommy… I want, I want more…”

After a little chuckle, Marilyn complied, thrusting another finger inside you abruptly, unexpectedly. Your moans increased her intensity, while you felt the hard thrusts of the redhead.

She was not delicate, nor affectionate, she was abrupt, nervous. She didn't want to make love to you, she wanted to make you hers, she wanted you to want to stay by her side and never leave. She was panting as you pressed your face against the pillow. She was very intense, perhaps too much, it was hard for you to suppress the sensations you felt and not scream, not go crazy.

You couldn't take much more. As your body began to move uncontrollably and the spanking on your bottom became faster and more frequent, you squealed with pleasure, tensing all your muscles, releasing all the anger, all the tension and all the absurd jealousy that tormented you.

"Are you calmer?" She asked, gently running her hands over your back.

You were shaking, it was hard for you to breathe, to catch your breath. You turned and nodded, throwing yourself into her arms, holding her lovingly, with all the love your heart had for her.

The redhead pushed you away roughly.

“What are you doing? Do you think we're done?”

You shook your head. Of course you weren't done.

In a quick manner she grabbed your hair, bringing your head under her skirt, between her legs. She didn't even bother to remove her panties. She just brushed them aside so your tongue could taste her bare skin.

It was the same as with you. Rough, full of little emotional blackmail and mean questions. You wanted to be superior, but you couldn't, you had to surrender to the power and control that her body had, that her kisses, that her hands had on you.

When she broke free, she let go of you, letting you fall back.

“Do you still want to leave, my love?” She asked with a dark look. You shook your head, looking for your clothes. You were in your room, a room that you shared with your friend. She would arrive any minute, you had to get dressed.

“(Y/N),” Marilyn told you, getting your attention. “Don't ever try to leave again.”

#marilyn thornhill #marilyn thornhill x reader #wednesday #ms thornhill #oneshot #smut

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anotherkindofmindpod · 4 years ago

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“Feminizing” Paul

There is a difference between A) calling a man pretty or admiring his graceful body language or his feminine features (although I don’t personally think eyelashes and lips need to constantly be gender-labeled as “masculine” or “feminine” - they can just be “long” or “lush” etc) and B) mocking a man for having what you perceive to be “feminine” traits (even if you think your jokes are not mean-spirited because Hey! feminine guys are awesome!) and especially C) making insinuations about a person’s sexuality based on external mannerisms or physical features. The last example is homophobic behavior. Even if you love gay people or fetishize them or personally identify as LGBTQ, it doesn’t matter! It’s still exactly the same thing homophobes do. Paul McCartney is not a sassy queen. If he was, and he self-identified that way, it would be totally cool to call him that and celebrate his fabulousness! But as far as we know, Paul identifies as a straight man. Maybe not a super “macho” one- he wore ladies’ clothing in the 70s and sometimes he likes to playfully prance and twirl and stuff like that, which I agree is endearing and cute! But it’s questionable, at the very least, to make joke after joke about how OMG!feminine! the guy is. Of course you can admire his physicality (option A)- that’s what fans do with celebrities. But please do so without taking a different sexuality and applying it to this person in a mocking way (as if everyone is in on the joke except Paul, who doesn’t realize what a flamboyant queen he is, LOL). I think it’s fine to speculate on an artist’s sexuality, too, so long as it’s based on their own words or even their art. But not when it’s second-guessing someone’s own identity based on your own judgments about their posture or bone structure (or worse yet, their interest in theater or having gay friends- like do you realize how homophobic that is?). Can you imagine a group of men coming on Tumblr and making post after post about a straight female celebrity, talking constantly about how butch she is and how hard she would fuck basically every woman she’s ever been photographed with? Lord knows there’s nothing bad about being butch or W/W but it would be a WEIRD thing to keep harping on about a straight woman! Wishful thinking and fangirling/fanboying is fine. “I wish she would top me” is different than calling a straight woman “such a power dyke.” The first is just a fun wish, the second is… weird and inaccurate and it just strikes me as maybe only half-way thought-through. I don’t think I have all the answers or claim that we’re perfect either. In our episode on Yoko we made a joke about her “big dick” - which we meant as a compliment, but that could be seen as problematic too. And maybe it was? The whole concept of a dick as being where power is stored is pretty lame, even if we all enjoyed making “big dick energy” memes and jokes for a year or so. And yeah, Paul’s so-called “femininity” (which I put in skeptical quotation marks because again, we’re talking about gender-labeling both physical traits AND personality traits that DO NOT INHERENTLY BELONG TO ANY SEX) has been historically used to undermine everything from his intelligence to his artistic depth to his credibility (”diva” anyone?). It’s not mine or anyone’s job to police and gatekeeper and tell people how they’re supposed to talk, I just urge us all to be a bit more thoughtful with how we use words and how we appropriate gay culture so voraciously. Also, please stop this tiresome straw-man argument of “there’s nothing wrong with being femme!” Of course there isn’t. There’s nothing wrong with being anything! But everyone on this site knows better than to purposely mis-label a person’s gender or sexuality. Everyone also knows better than to characterize a person’s sexuality or gender identity in a way that would upset that person or make them uncomfortable. If someone prefers “Black” to “African American,” call them Black. If they prefer “Brown” to “Black,” call them Brown, etc. It’s not your place to make a judgment call about these terms, it’s for people to choose for themselves and it’s our place to respect them. I know I’ll probably get pushback that “this is just fandom” and “it’s not that serious.” And to an extent I agree because none of the Beatles would appreciate being called assholes or hearing our shitty opinions about their songs either and we all feel free to criticize them for all kinds of stuff that is essentially none of our business. I just think we need to pump the brakes from time to time when it comes to throwing labels on people.

And yes, perhaps I’m sensitive about this topic because I grew up in a much, much more homophobic era than our current one and I’ve definitely got scars from it. But I also believe that it’s OK to encourage everyone to think about this stuff and talk openly about it without attacking each other or getting overly defensive. -Phoebe

#The Beatles #AKOM #feminizing Paul

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queerlennon · 4 years ago

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Lesley-Ann Jones Is Untrustworthy

So I’ve seen some people in the fandom reading and citing Lesley-Ann Jones’ biography The Search For John Lennon recently and to be honest it’s concerning to me. Lesley Ann Jones has proved in the past to be an extremely untrustworthy source for info about the people she writes about. I understand that it’s exciting to have a book about John that’s not written by the typical “Lennon biographer” type (aka an ageing straight man) and for said book to also promise to shed light and focus on his bisexuality but, if we’re going to analyse John respectfully and accurately, it’s important to identify sources that are biased and untrustworthy, even if they’re technically within our favour. Especially when it relates to his queerness. And seeing as LAJ doesn’t have the best record when it comes to writing about rockstars’ sexualities in a respectful manner, it’s best to treat her words with caution.

Info about exactly how she’s a bad source is under the cut

Firstly, it's key to talk about LAJ's journalistic background when discussing what sort of writer she is: she's worked for papers such as The Sun, The Daily Mail, and The Mail On Sunday. Essentially, the bulk of her work has been for tabloids and traditionally the writing style for those kinds of publications place an emphasis on sensationalism and gossip. Now obviously that doesn’t discredit her work immediately, authors are usually able to write in more than one style so it doesn’t necessarily mean the tabloid style is going to carry over to her biographies; but it’s good to keep in mind when discussing and analysing the legitimacy of the narratives she creates and the stories she recounts in her work.

LAJ has received criticism in the past, particularly from the queen fandom of often overexaggerating, or just straight presenting false information in her bios about Freddie Mercury. She is the champion of the claim that Freddie was bisexual and not gay. Her evidence for this is over-exaggerating and (seemingly intentionally) misinterpreting the nature of the relationship between Freddie and his friend, Barbara Valentin. LAJ claimed that the two had a relationship and even lived together:

“Barbara was very open with me about the sexual relationship she had with Freddie.”

(x)

However, no-one in Freddie’s life has ever corroborated that Freddie and Barbara were anything but friends. As for the claim they lived together, according to Peter Freestone, an extremely close friend of Freddie’s:

In the event, Freddie never actually lived there although Barbara fulfilled a huge role in Freddie’s life at that time... Freddie became very disillusioned when with more and more frequency articles were appearing in the German press’s gossip columns... about the relationship between him and Barbara... After one article claiming to have knowledge of him and Barbara getting married, Freddie... concluded that it could only be Barbara who was providing the information.

(x)

This exaggeration of their relationship and the insistence LAJ has on presenting Freddie as bi because of it has attracted criticism from queen fans for obvious reasons. For one, it’s borderline homophobic to essentially lie about a gay man having a relationship with a woman while downplaying his relationships with men. No, she’s not portraying him as a straight man, however it’s still erasure of the specific struggles Freddie would’ve faced being a gay man in his time, therefore those who want to analyse him would be missing some of the picture when trying to understand him and his life

LAJ’s research methods are also... questionable. This is a post from Crystal Taylor (one of Roger Taylor’s roadies) about her methods for her David Bowie bio which, if to be believed is particularly concerning.

(x)

LAJ is also known to greatly exaggerate her own relationships with her subjects. She often claims to have been friends with the people she writes bios about (coincidently the people she does this with are dead.) Back in the day she would meet with artists while on tour so the idea is convincing enough. However besides her word there’s nothing to suggest that she had close friendships with Freddie or Bowie, two people she claimed to be good friends with. There’s also this comment from Brian May which actually goes against the idea that she was close with Freddie:

(x)

So with all of this in mind, let’s look at the quote from The Search For John Lennon that’s been circulating around Beatles tumblr:

That Bowie worshipped Lennon is no secret. He'd banged on about it often enough. The ex-Beatle had gone to his hedonism. They'd met in Los Angeles, during John's Lost Weekend. I lunched from time to time with David in New York while working there as a music journalist, before he married Iman. He lent me his house in Mustique, to write the first draft of my first biography on Freddie Mercury.

The crazy pair went out to play, according to David, when John was on yet another break from May and far away from Yoko. They genderbender-ed about, John indulging again that 'inner fag' of his. What larks.

They later 'hooked up': 'There was a whore in the middle, and it wasn't either of us,' David smirked. 'At some point in proceedings, she left. I think it was a she. Not that we minded.' By the time they made it back to New York, the ambisextrous pair were 'lifelong friends'.

I’m suspicious of this story for several reasons but first I want to make it clear that none of them have to do with John having sex with men or being bisexual. I’m a very firm believer of John’s bisexuality (my username is literally queerlennon lmao) but once again I think it’s good to examine the legitimacy of sources, even when they favour our position.

Firstly, LAJ’s source for this story is the claim that David told her, which considering I can’t find any info about them being friends besides her word, combined with the fact that she’s lied about having close relationships in the past raises a lot of flags.

But even if we assume LAJ isn’t lying and did know Bowie, the quote is still suspect, particularly the line “John was on yet another break from May and far away from Yoko.” According to May in her book Loving John, her and John had only one break from their relationship (the phrase “yet another break” implies multiple) that lasted a week, and for the entirety of that week, John was with Yoko. (x)

Finally, the language LAJ uses to describe John and David’s sexualities not only puts me on edge but very much makes me question her intention. Phrases like “the genderbender-ed about,” “indulged his ‘inner fag,’” and “ambisextrous,” all come across to me as fetishisation. Bisexuality is already very highly fetishised and sexualised and LAJ is most definitely not concerned with deviating from that representation. That phrasing combined with the way she also discusses Freddie’s sexuality, where she’s alleged highly sexualised claims about him having threesomes:

And quite often that involved other people as well. Other men, other women. There would be a number of them in the bedroom at any given time. In fact they were raided by the police once and the police stormed in and they found more people than they were expecting to find in the bed that morning.

(x)

— leads me to believe that LAJ is an author less concerned with exploring John’s sexuality as apart of his life, something that made him who he was, and more concerned with including details about “bisexual threesomes” as shock value, as a sensational point she can use to to promote her book in press tours and interviews. Like a tabloid writer. And this sort disrespect representation of John’s queerness, imo isn’t that much better than the biographers who dismiss or underplay it. I totally understand that for a lot of us, finding out new info about John’s queer identity is exciting, especially for those of us who are queer and identify with a lot with John for that reason, myself included. But we shouldn’t be giving credence and legitimacy to someone who firstly, isn’t trustworthy and secondly who’s reason for talking about it is gross and exploitative at best and biphobic at worst.

tl;dr, LAJ is an incredibly untrustworthy source of info and in her own over exaggerations, treats discussions of queerness in an extremely problematic and exploitive way so please take anything you read from her with a massive grain of salt.

#john lennon #the beatles #freddie mercury #queen #david bowie #beatles analysis #lesley ann jones #shut up fable #classic rock #biographies/memoirs #fable’s analysis

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claybefree · 4 years ago

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Seeing as it's the twentieth anniversary, I guess I should post this again

September Third, Two Thousand and Nine

For years whenever anyone asked me when my son Henry was born I’d start to say September instead of August 25, 2001. Sunday he had his eighth birthday party at his mother’s house, and I stayed here. Most of his mother’s friends don’t care for me much. The feeling is mutual. Tonight coming home from work I started stitching what I’m about to write together in my mind and suddenly got very afraid. I thought for a moment that I was about to go get drunk, which might very likely be death for somebody like me. I was sure I was going to change direction of the truck, that I’d drive the same route I always did back then, that I would stand by the register and stare at the bottle in my hand without really knowing I where I was. I think it has to do with the weather finally changing and perhaps that Henry’s mom and I are no longer together. I sat on the porch of my little house and called a friend and told him all this. He listened and after a while I felt better, which is exactly how these things should go. When we decided we were done he told me I should go in and write all this down.

I worked on through that whole day. Most everybody else on the job had stopped and listened to each of the radios on the different floors or cried. The asshole Turks I was framing a bathroom for wouldn’t let me quit. They had tile to run. I found it made me feel better to keep going anyway. The laborers cussed me when I asked them to move so that I could use the table saw, a natural gathering spot on any job. They seemed to think I was calloused or hard-hearted and it was because I was from Tennessee. It just now occurred to me that maybe they were right.

That afternoon, when it was determined safe to walk across the bridges, most of the job, the other carpenters and trades-people, wandered home to Brooklyn or Queens. Me and the two left to close everything up had it different as we lived in Jersey. Anthony, the boss, was big and red-haired, red faced and lived in Hoboken. Duane was in charge of demolition and waste, was a little shorter and darker, and lived in Secaucus or maybe somewhere west of that I think. They squared off on each other frequently. It always reminded me of two walruses going at it on a beach.

Whenever we went out to the bar afterwards Anthony would have a Bud tall boy in each hand at all times, the waitress would come up with four for him whenever we sat down. On the job we liked to yell at each other, I once told him I was doing him a favor by giving him such an easy target, and he never missed an occasion to oblige me. Duane was a single dad, dark haired with deep sunken yet kind eyes that always seemed to have bags under them. One of the black laborers told him once he was the most Uncle Fester looking motherfucker he had ever seen. I tended to agree.

We locked the job up at four I think, humped it across the park through the smoke to the A-train. There was smoke forming a mist around the trees of central park that day. There were no flower children loitering at Yoko’s “Imagine” monument to barge through. Our thinking was to get downtown to the Path train. We had no idea that two of the stations had been destroyed. It didn’t matter, we were underground fifteen minutes before Anthony vetoed the idea. People were running wild through the stations, on the trains, everything was panic and Oh Fuck and Anthony had no intention of being underground. He had a funny look on his face that I couldn’t figure out. It wouldn't occur to me until later that the big man was very afraid.

In the years since I have always wondered why people have reacted so strongly from that day. Later we would go to war because of a something that happened one day in New York City and this has always seemed really strange to me. I guess what I mean is that I was there and never wanted to kill anybody because of it. Most of the time I just thought it was very strange and sad and mostly just very interesting. I only remember ever crying about it twice. The first time was a few months afterward, I had quit Anthony to stay home with Henry. Part of our routine was to watch Sesame Street. One day in the winter there was a skit where Elmo got very scared because of some smoke and noise that was never identified. I suppose in this case it was a nameless fear. A New York City fireman came on screen and hugged him, told him it was okay to be scared, Elmo, and that everything would be alright. I remember little red furry Elmo hugged the fireman tight. I held Henry in my lap and cried into his fine blonde hair.

It was the fireman that did it. I still get upset when I think about the firemen. I have had a lot of trouble with cops in different times in my life, but I never had a problem with any fireman I ever encountered, drunk or otherwise. They seem to me to be a different animal entirely.

Anthony, Duane and me ran into two firemen on the deck of the cruise boat that carried us across to Weehawken. They came in and collapsed on the painted metal floor, shedding boots and letting their helmets roll away. Some people applauded weakly, others asked questions, they just stared at us and said nothing. It didn’t occur to me until much later they were probably the only ones from their station who lived. Other men that for years they worked with, ate and fought with, got drunk with were dead. There was a bar I frequented in Jersey City a few blocks from our house where a couple of weeks later I saw three firemen in dress uniforms. One was between his partner on a stool and the third who was older and may have been a captain. The captain was clearly upset, swaggering and poking the other two in the chest. Everybody else was trying hard not to pay attention to what seemed about to develop into a fight. I think later I saw the old man leaning against the bar and weeping openly, he must have been sixty at least.

I got drunk in this bar Sept. 10th while my wife and kid slept back home. She’d start nursing and pass out with him and I’d head out to roam. The thing I liked about this place was the Sinatra on the jukebox, so that night I loaded it up and sat at the bar listening. I think it was the first time I’d ever heard “Summer Wind.” The tattooed brunette tending bar must have thought it was cute because she serenaded me, singing along with a couple of the songs. There was another man with a mustache further down the line who was putting the blast on her and didn’t seem to like me much so I got the fuck out early. By “early” I mean I didn’t close the place.

I won’t tell you what we saw on the boat ride across the Hudson, you’ve seen it already. We unloaded at Weehawken and everyone, thousands of high end refugees really, started walking south towards Hoboken where we had been told there were buses waiting to take us home. I noticed that even wearing boots, the three of us walked faster than the others. We were construction workers living and working around Manhattan and we were very good at walking. I remember being comforted by walking with them. Hundreds of buses lined the streets of Hoboken and the three of us walked the length of that town. Anthony broke off about halfway to head home. A couple of weeks later I showed up having laid out drunk for two days and told him I had come for my tools. He looked at me and didn’t say a word. He mailed me my check. I haven’t seen the man since.

Duane and me trudged the rest of Hoboken together. I heard that not soon after I left he was let go to cut costs and that not long after that he got into a bad time with a prostitute on rt. 1 & 9. The smoke in Hoboken was thicker than in the city and the fumes from streets filled with idling buses finally got my hangover to officially kick in. I told Duane about how I’d had “Summer Wind” playing as background music in my head all day. He laughed and began singing the song, each line perfectly. We got through the crowd easily, after hours of walking together we had finally hit a stride together. We were marching, really. There was the giant blue sky of the day broken intermittently by smoke and there was the roar of diesel noise and Hoboken and Duane singing Summer Wind to me; some punk kid from Tennessee who had no business being there.

The only other incident I remember having to cry because of some assholes who decided to fly planes into tall buildings was coming across the Manhattan bridge one night after carrying my sister-in-law home to Park Slope. She would come over most nights to hang out with the baby, and around eleven or so and in various states of sobriety I’d be asked to drive her back home. I never hated the terrorists for invoking a War of Terror, I hated them for causing enough terror that it fucked the roads up. Shit got closed for what seemed no fucking reason whatsoever. One day coming back from the pediatrician’s office, Henry got stuck howling in his car seat for four hours because the Holland Tunnel was handling too much traffic and we were too afraid to take him out of it because of the cops everywhere. My sister-in-law and I spent a lot of time in the Saturn together on the nights I drove her home. I can’t remember what we talked about, probably everything. I haven't spoken to my sister-in-law since I moved out last summer.

This particular night the Brooklyn Bridge was only operating east-bound into Brooklyn so after I dropped her off I was diverted back across the Manhattan Bridge in order to get back into the city and eventually home. The Manhattan Bridge back then was still under renovation and I guess has always been the ugly, cross-eyed cousin of the Brooklyn Bridge. I got stuck on it, moving slower than shit, and staring at trash and old faded plywood encasing the little bit of wrought iron and Neo-Classical elements that were left up by the arch. Off to the left t seemed as though the entirety of Downtown was illuminated from the work lights that were set up down by Ground Zero. Downtown glowed with lights that were set up to look for people that weren’t there anymore. The DJ on WFMU that night was playing a super slowed down cover of the B-52’s Song for a Future Generation. If you’ve heard it, you’ve probably laughed, it’s a ridiculously chirpy pop song. I’ve always loved it. The lyrics go a little like this:

Wanna be the ruler of the galaxy

Wanna be the king of the universe

Let`s meet and have a baby now

In between each stanza, the different members give spoken-word tidbits of information about themselves. For example Ricky, the original guitarist, was a Pisces and “loved computers and hot tamales.“ Ricky also died from AIDS back in 1985 when people still had no idea what the disease was.

The version I heard that night had slowed the tempo to that of a blues song. The dip-shit ironic hipster that sang it reflected this. Stuck on the bridge it felt as though I was listening to a lament. What reduced me to tears, smoking Winstons in my little Saturn station wagon, was the feeling that whatever was left of innocence had recently been or was about to be brutally murdered by pig-face, ignorant men. Wanna be the first lady of infinity. Wanna be the nicest guy on earth. Let's meet and have a baby now.

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evelhak · 5 years ago

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“Ancient” wlw ships

This is such a self-indulgent post but I need to get my thoughts out. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about all the girls I shipped in fiction when I was a kid and didn’t realize I was shipping them.

I mean, they pretty much all had boyfriends or ended up marrying a man, and I was pretty much on board, in my eyes it was just some part of the story that needed to happen, because it always did. I think the common thing with these characters was that the female best friend was, at least more often than not, narratively more important than the guy, or just seemed to have a much greater emotional impact in the story.

Thinking about this has been so fun and eye-opening that I just feel like sharing a list of my biggest ancient wlw pairs that I only now, years later, realize were totally in love in my mind, I just didn’t have a concept for it yet. I’m sure that’s relatable for some people, but maybe there’s someone out there who was shipping these same characters??

This will include mild spoilers. And it’ll be long.

1. Cornelia & Elyon from W.i.t.c.h.

I COMPLETELY lived in these comics when I was 8-12 years old, and nothing in it was as compelling to me as Cornelia and Elyon. Guess I was already a sucker for best-friends-to-enemies-to-friends-again, even though I didn’t realize I also wanted them to become lovers. Best friends was all there was to me back then, that was the name I assigned to the highest form of love in my head. Which I still don’t see as invalid? I just didn’t realize I would’ve related to the romance aspect between best friends a hell of a lot more than I did to any of the relationships the W.i.t.c.h. girls had with their boyfriends. Cornelia and Caled was almost as bad as Buffy and Angel! Cornelia and Peter was just boring af. All the other W.i.t.c.h. girls’ boyfriends were all equally boring to me except for Will and Matt, but that was because their struggle to admit their feelings for each other was written in a funny way, not because their relationship had any actual depth.

But Elyon and Cornelia would’ve been perfect! I mean if your best friend has the ability to understand you so well, that with her magical intuition, she can draw you a picture of a guy you’re going to fall for, a guy she has never met... why would you even want to be with that guy anymore? Why wouldn’t you just be with her instead?? What Cornelia and Caleb had was limerence (I actually applaud the comics for eventually treating it as such and showing how it was harmful to both of the characters!) but what Cornelia and Elyon had was true love that transcends dimensions. Cornelia never gave up on Elyon, not even for a moment, after she became the W.i.t.c.h. girls’ enemy, and when she was in trouble, Cornelia had a hunch from another dimension, and she didn’t hesitate to come to her rescue. (The fact that during the same mission she also manages to fall for the dude Elyon drew for her in the past seems more like an accident, to be honest. The real deal was patching things up with Elyon, it was both more emotionally impactful AND more plot-relevant!)

It was also really sad to read the comics sometimes, because Elyon was absolutely my favourite character, and she wasn’t around much after the first arc, being a queen in another dimension. But every time there was a flashback to when Elyon was still living on Earth and being cute with Cornelia I was like MOOOOORE.

2. Sora and Layla from Kaleido Star

If you haven’t watched this anime you’ve missed. SO. MUCH. This is probably my favourite anime ever. And it features another type of ship I LOVE. Which is partners in some sort of activity, usually sports. When it’s written well it’s just so impactful and intense. These girls are routinely risking their lives in their passion for acrobatics, so they need to have absolute trust in each other. And oh boy is the relationship between them written well. I love it when two characters initially don’t get the way the other thinks or sees the world, but as they grow closer, it’s the other’s way of thinking that really unlocks something huge for them.

Also what’s so compelling about Sora and Layla is that there really isn’t anything like them in any other anime, that I’ve come across, at least. These partnerships are always between two guys in a sports anime, the partnership is at the heart of the story and the emotional stakes are so high it’s no wonder most people don’t want to ship these guys with their intended female love interests. Kaleido Star takes this even further because the guy who is in love with Sora is literally a joke, or the fact that he’s in love with Sora is a running gag, and nothing more. All the focus is on Sora and Layla as partners, and how they change each other's lives for the better.

Also the way Sora pines for Layla when she’s away or not paying enough attention to her is SO... I mean you don’t even have to think it’s romantic for it to absolutely melt you. Although it feels pretty heavily romantically coded, and it doesn’t even feel like queer baiting, because it’s just SO real and honest. And how Layla can’t stop thinking about how Sora is changing her as a person. There’s no question about the fact that the relationship between these women is the true meat of the show.

3. Anne and Diana from Anne of Green Gables

I read these books over and over again as a kid, and the Netflix show renewed my love for these two. They are kind of ridiculous, but SO cute. Looking back, it seems obvious that they had a crush on each other, they were just SO giddy all the time they were alone. Sure, you can excuse all their romantic gestures (like changing locks of hair, and vowing to never leave each other with joined hands and grand words) with saying Anne just romanticizes everything, but it never really felt like just that to me.

I’ll never forget how devastated Anne was about Diana getting married, and I don’t remember the wording but initially she wished she could keep Diana to herself for their whole lives. And every time they talked about marriage it was something they were both gonna do not as individuals, but rather the emphasis seemed to be on the shared experience, and how their children would be best friends and all that. It was all about them together. Like their romantic fantasies were nothing without the other somehow in the picture.

I don’t hate Anne and Gilbert but I don’t love them either. Gilbert has always been just sort of “meh”. He’s okay, but also the kind of love interest that can never compel me much.

4. Chocolat and Vanilla from Sugar Sugar Rune

Seriously, this would have been SO GOOD if it was canon.

Think about it, best friends, chosen to compete against each other for the throne. These witches go to the human world to attract male attention and collect feelings from the men, turning the feelings into heart shaped crystals and whoever collects more will be the queen. I mean... the story was good as it is but if they had ended up together and been queens TOGETHER?? That would have been the best story. It could have had SUCH a compelling best-friends-to-competitors-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers storyline! There would have been room for so much character development.

And if my memory doesn’t betray me the story would not change much at all if they didn’t end up with the guys they do end up with! Especially Vanilla’s guy is like an afterthought and Chocolat’s guy is... well, a sum of my least favourite tropes, including the one that will remind everyone about Mortal Instruments a LITTLE too much, so he can get lost for all I care.

I cried many times while reading this, and it always had something to do with these two girls.

5. Yoko and Liao from Yoko Tsuno

Okay, these two might have a problematic age gap, I’m not sure, but I didn’t know of that possibility as a kid, they just looked the same age to me. I was a huge Yoko Tsuno fan as a pre-teen, and there were so many interesting female adventurers in this series but for some reason the dynamic between Yoko and Liao was my favourite, even though Liao only appeared in one album. I just really felt like I needed to see more of these characters interacting and where their relationship would develop.

There was something about them that seemed rather original to me then, and a nice change. The reader had already gotten used to Yoko as the hero, she was always saving the day everywhere, she was like The Doctor in a way and not only because she time-travelled. She is simply badass. In Liao’s story there’s a prophecy about a girl who speaks to a dragon and saves everyone, and Yoko thinks that girl is her because she’s from the future and knows the dragon is a machine, but it turns out to be Liao, and that was somehow really satisfying. Yoko treats Liao obnoxiously in the beginning, doesn’t give her much credit, but is deeply humbled after Liao needs to save her ass multiple times because she’s just too sure of herself. It was cool to see how Yoko really needed to grow in this story and realize her limitations, and how wrong she was to treat Liao the way she did and look down on her just because Liao was physically weak, had a temper, and came from a much earlier time period than Yoko.

By the end they are clearly very attached to each other (Liao weeping in Yoko’s arms and Yoko confessing how full of herself she was when they met) and respect each other, and I just really would’ve liked to see where they would go from there. I thought about them meeting again A LOT when I was a kid.

That’s my big five! :D I could go on but this is already long, I need to sleep, and these are the characters that I’ve been thinking about the most lately. If you read this far for some reason it would be cool to hear if you have any similar (or different) experiences.

#old ships #wlw #w.i.t.c.h #kaleido star #yoko tsuno #anne of green gables #sugar sugar rune #personal #rambly

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johns-prince · 5 years ago

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Idk one thing that makes me think that John was bi and definitely more attracted to males is this: Yoko said that John was into beauty and although she's full of shit and awful I believe her on this one. Before you rip me apart I really love Cyn and May, but if you really look at the women and the men in his life it's clear that John had a thing for boys. The guys he was the closest to were absolutely gorgeous ( Stu was stunning, Brian was handsome as fuck and Paul was beyond gorgeous ) /

Like I said I really love them so please don't take it bad but when you look at his women you can't really Say the same thing about them: Cyn and May were really average and Yoko well... Yoko definitely looked like a bloke, I agree with John. Now, if John was really into beauty, he would have find gorgeous women, but nope! Idk if you see what I'm talking about, but to me it's clear that he was into males' beauty, much more than women

Hi, I’ve decided to give a go at this lol I don’t think my response makes any bloody sense but I tried, apologies in advance anyhow.

While Yoko is extremely wishy-washy, fickle with shit she’s decided to say and share in interviews and such, there are certain things she’s said that hold some kernel of truth or we should at least take note of. It’s rather easy to know when she’s spewing literal horseshit from her mouth, while other times, she might be giving us some important insight, though those little tidbits of what we could consider relevant she always tried retracting [often because it doesn’t help her or their image much]

Though I wouldn’t say I needed Yoko claiming both her and John were into beauty [I mean, we all kind of are, but I digress, I understand] to believe it, because, and let me be weird for like a second, John’s a Libra. They covet beautiful things. Beauty is just, part of their inherent likes, to admire beauty.

That and, being an artist, I’m sure he did have a thing for “beauty.” too.

Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder, subjective, all that philosophical jazz, but I understand what you mean.

I’m not going to rip you apart, because I hold a rather “controversial” opinion in regards to Paul’s wife Linda-- that is, we’re allowed to see these people contrary to what we assume the ‘bandom’ might push as the ‘’right/acceptable’’ and expected opinions.

We’re individuals, I don’t expect you to hold the same opinions, and I do enjoy hearing what people have to say as long as they’re clearly open, civil, friendly-like is always nice too. So, no, I shan’t rip into you lol

I see where you’re coming from.

For me, I find May very pretty, and I think Cynthia was pretty [cor that doesn’t really attest to if they were average pretty or not, I don’t know, but I can see why you see that, I do. I personally find Cynthia incredibly average looking, dare I say plain, when she was much younger, before doing her hair blonde and all that] But then again, compared to Yoko... well.

What Ronnie Hawkins said at the end of this interview, is the nicest way to put how I feel about Yoko in terms of her appearance;

“...what I couldn’t understand that he didn’t have about four or five of the most beautiful women in the world with him, because he could have.”

I know it might come off as insulting but it’s not like we were the one’s to say it first-- John was the one to say Yoko reminded him of a bloke in drag, so.

I can’t say I’ve ever thought of it this way though, or took noticed like you did.

I think it depends.

Dude clearly had a thing for drag queens and transvestites, even at an early age.

I agree, many, most of John’s relatively close male friends were very attractive, very pretty, handsome; though there’s no 100% solid evidence that John felt any strong particular way towards Stu and Brian like he did towards Paul [that is, obviously something sexual happened between John and Brian, but I think that was mainly John experimenting and having the right sort of individual he could do so with, safely, and he might have pitied Brian in a way but, I don’t think he’d meant to hurt Brian or anything. I personally don’t agree it was a powerplay either] John indeed appeared attracted to, or at least drawn to, effeminate, feminine boys.

Not saying all his close male friends were effeminate, femboys [Pete Shotton, Mal Evans...] but I suppose we’re mainly talking about the individuals that, besides being “close”[I also think we could have a discussion of what it meant to be a close friend of John’s, because even if someone might’ve thought themselves close friends with John, they actually weren’t-- not many were; Paul was possibly the closest to close a male friend/relationship John could’ve had, besides Pete] have been rumored he’d had some sort of infatuation or tryst with, like Stu and Brian; Mick Jagger was a very pretty boy, those full lips and relatively soft features accentuated by the longer hairstyles of the 60s and 70s [whether you believe something happened between Mick and John is really up to you, I’m relatively neutral on it I don’t know, but there certainly was a lot going on during this [x] [x] [x] get together between them] and David Bowie is 100% an effeminate boy, and there had been this story, whether it’s true or not I don’t know so take it with absolutely a grain of salt, where a server or whoever caught note of a familiar pair of boots in a stall that belonged to John, David, but another pair of feet which could’ve been anyone, when at a party he’d attended with Yoko. Wish I could find the damn source for it [just another thing I wish I had cataloged better, damn me]

Side note, I honestly believe John would’ve been rather interested in Tara Browne had it not been for the fact Tara was Paul’s friend, a friend who was very attractive, and artsy and bisexual, and Paul really seemed to dig him [though I do not believe Paul held any deeper feelings for Tara, as much as Tara might’ve had a crush on Paul]-- which had John feeling threatened and his jealousy/possessiveness shot through the bloody rooftops, as we know. Tara was to John as Stu was to Paul.

I don’t know, you may be right.

I personally believe John leaned more towards men specifically because he just seemed to enjoy, was happier, and was much more comfortable their company, friendship, the bond, more than women, but despite being gay or in a same-sex relationship wasn’t illegal in the UK anymore in 1967 [oh what a year] it was still easier to be with women than men, openly anyway.

Just because something becomes legal doesn’t mean culture and society are really on track with it, if you get what I mean.

But anyway, yeah, I could see it, him being more attracted to “male beauty,” more than “female beauty,” if he were to lean more towards men in his bisexuality. I don’t know.

Anyway there’s my answer, it’s non-coherent, I’m sorry lol

Clearly John couldn’t officially be with the person he wanted to be with though, who was a man, because of issues and reasons we can only begin to assume and possibly pinpoint. Nobody can hold a candle to Paul, he is a bloody Adonis, and I’m sure John would’ve agreed, begrudgingly or partly jokingly. That and John’s soulmate.

I’m 100% they fooled about, and like 85%-90% positive they fucked.

#questionsquestionsquestions

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wearejapanese · 6 years ago

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For the newest season of Queer Eye, the Fab 5 head to Japan to transform the lives of four Japanese people.

Except, they don’t.

Thinking that it would be a fascinating watch, especially given my gay Japanese identity, I opened up Netflix and gave it a go. The first episode was so bad, I had to stop halfway.

And it wasn’t just bad. It was a massive train wreck.

This season reinforces harmful racial stereotypes, promotes toxic cultural ignorance, and fails to give voice to the very minorities they are looking to serve, specifically the queer Japanese community.

But as part of my due diligence in putting this together, I watched the rest of the four-episodes. I will cover the least problematic episodes first and save the worst for the last.

Episode 1: Privilege and Cultural Insensitivity as Comedy

The season opens with the Fab 5 messaging each other to coordinate a trip to Japan with Kiko Mizuhara.

In just a few minutes, we are presented with a dilemma.

For this season of Queer Eye, they added Kiko Mizuhara, a female cisgender-heterosexual (cishet) Japanese model, as a “culture guide” to help the Fab 5 navigate their way through Japan.

She is light-skinned, skinny, pretty — the epitome of “the perfect woman” in Japan. On her Instagram, you’ll see that she loves fashion, makeup, drag queens… topics often associated with queer culture. However, her enjoyment of queer activities does not make her a queer substitute for the Queer Eye entourage. Is it Queer + Straight Eye?

Episode 3: The Importance of Cultural Relativism

The Fab 5 visits Kae, an introverted manga (comic book) illustrator, to help her become more confident and build a better relationship with her family.

By picking an introverted manga artist, the show further reinforces the harmful stereotype of the timid, introverted Japanese otaku, fans of anime and manga often assumed to be reclusive and disconnected from reality.

In one of the scenes where Antoni sits down with Kae and her mom, he brings up the touchy subject about them not professing their love for one another.

As Kae and her mom struggle to explain the cultural implications behind why Japanese people don’t show physical and verbal affections, Antoni laughs and retorts, “everybody needs to be told that they are special.” He dismisses the opportunity to listen, ask questions, and create thoughtful discussion on how to navigate this cultural phenomenon that is present in every Japanese household.

Episode 4: Reinforcing Harmful Stereotypes

In the last episode of the season, the Fab 5 visits Makoto, an introverted radio director, to fix up his home and spice up his marriage.

The Fab 5 introduces Makoto, starting with his sexless lifestyle.

“That breaks my heart.” “Oh! Poor thing.”

Out of the millions of Japanese people Queer Eye could have cast into this season, the show consciously chose two of its four characters that reinforce this harmful stigma of sexless culture within Japan. (Makoto and Yoko-san from episode one)

Episode 2: Suppressing Queer Japanese Visibility

The problematic casting of Kiko Mizuhara becomes amplified in this episode. For a show that champions queer visibility (the “queer” eye) and minority representation (adding diversity to the entourage in the reboot), casting Kiko Mizuhara reinforces the negative social hierarchy that queer Asian Pacific individuals face often.

On the cast of Queer Eye, there are two white men, a white non-binary individual, a Black man, and a Pakistani man. But before a queer Japanese addition can be considered, a cishet woman is added. By casting Kiko, she takes away space from those who need representation the most.

As the episode opens, Kiko invites the Fab 5 to enjoy cocktails with her in Shinjuku Ni-Chome (Tokyo’s biggest queer neighborhood). She talks about how she is “fully immersed” in the gayborhood and how “nobody really cares about who [she] is”, and that she “can have a great time” listening to her favorite disco music.