#Oh hai plot device...

[bisouxobeso]

All Roads Lead Home ★ Cassian Andor/Reader ★ Chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Summary: You are the lead surgeon in the Rebellion base, but when a mission requires your return to your home planet, Kenari, you and Captain Andor must go undercover as a newlywed couple.

Pairings: Cassian Andor/Reader

Tags: Fake Marriage ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Slow Burn ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Mutual Pining ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Teasing ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Eventual Smut ࣪ ִֶָ☾.Emotional Hurt/ Comfort ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Slight Angst ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Jealousy ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Nicknames in Spanish ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Not Cannon Complacent ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Tags Subject to Change ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Dirty Talk ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Porn with Plot

Author's Note: I wrote this instead of sleeping oops.

Content Warnings: dirty talk, jealousy, teasing no smut yet but has the same warnings as smut

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The ship was nearly minutes away from Kenari, and you had just finished applying your makeup. The dress you were wearing squeezed you in all the right places, the small straps draped the tops of your arms, exposing your shoulders and half of your back. Extra fabric flowed along the backside. It was tight, uncomfortable, and red? “Really? It’s a little racy for a palace.” You mumbled, taking a step back and hopping slightly to get a better look from the crappy refresher mirror.

“You look fine,” Cassian noted walking towards you, barley looking up from that damned data pad, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin. “Just wanted to let you know we’re here.” 

“Kriff, you scared me.” You fretted, adjusting your diadem, “Okay, well, I’m ready, Capt- I mean, Cassian.”

Cassian nodded, walking away without saying a word. It took everything in him not to look up from his device; he hadn’t had a chance to control his reaction and felt an inexplicable fear of that dress you were wearing and how your lips coordinated with the color, or how soft the space looked between where your lower back and the fabric met. Alright, so maybe he took a small peek.

You walked out of the refresher and sighed, taking the tiniest constricted steps. Cassian met you at the ship exit, his hand stretched out, you took it, feeling embarrassed at how clammy it must have felt. You looked up at him, and for the first time that day, your eyes met. His usually disheveled hair was gelled down, a few pieces of his bangs escaping, framing his face. He was freshly shaven, and his black dress robes were newly pressed; the small cape that draped his shoulders made him almost look taller. He looked good, as much as you hated to admit it.

“Okay. A few things before we go, one, assume they’re always listening, let me check the room for bugs before you break character. And two, listen to my every order, no matter what. Can you manage that?” He commanded, as you began to understand why his troops feared him so much.

“Yes, I can.” You nodded, determination in your eyes.

“Good.”

K-2SO pressed the ship's door latch and stepped out, announcing your arrival. It helped that he was an imperial droid, which further established your cover. Though K-2 refused to lie, Cassian had installed in him a software specifically for this mission; for the time being, K-2 was a big, clunky metal liar who was undercover as Cassian’s Imperial droid. 

“Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Andor of Kenari!” K2 boomed at the onlookers who were gathering on the pasture floor. The band began playing as you and Cassian took the first step down. You could see the king from the ship’s stairs; his chubby cheeks were red, from the strain of clapping and cheering, a younger man with hair the color of hay stood next to him, a scowl on his face.

Cassian stepped down first and took you by the waist, carrying you down. You felt the warmth of his calloused hands through the delicate fabric of your dress. He was gentle, more gentle than you imagined he could ever be.  “Oh!” You yelped, “Thank you.” You giggled, throwing your head back as you realized you were still in his arms. 

The crowd cheered at the candid display of affection. “You can put me down now,” you whispered in his ear, the heat of your exhalation causing him to slightly quiver.

“Right…” he stammered, putting you down slowly. Your heels touching the spongy grass. He held your hand again, and you sauntered past the crowd to your Godfather. You began to curtsy, but he pulled you in for a hug before you could even bend down. 

“Oh my child! Mija! How I’ve missed you!” he exclaimed, the jiggle of his belly shaking as he hugged you even tighter if that was possible, “Don’t even think of pulling all that formal ‘your majesty’ crap around here okay? ¡Esta es tu casa! This is your home!”

“I’m sorry, Padrino, thank you for having us,” you gushed.

“Come, come, let’s go inside, the weather is too cloudy and sad for such a joyful occasion. Plus, I want to meet your new racer husband!” His hand motioned, and with that slight hand movement, the crowd parted, and the troopers marched. You and Cassian followed; the man with the scowl and yellow hair, trailing behind. ‘He looks so familiar,’ you thought.

Once inside, the palace was all gold, marble, and stone. It was big and beautiful, just like you remembered. You walked past the grand staircase, through the halls, and into the dining hall where a giant feast lay on the table, several servants greeting you, pulling out chairs for guests to sit on.

“I figured you guys must be starving after all those pre-packaged flight meals.” The king chortled, “I had the kitchen prepare a traditional Kenari meal while we caught up.” 

Your eyes lit up looking at all the different dishes you hadn’t tried in years, tears threatening an escape from your eyes. Maker, how you had missed home. You secretly wished you had done this sooner or under different circumstances. Guilt coursed through your veins. You turned to Cassian, who sat next to you, his eyes were glassy, dark, and sanguine. You couldn’t even imagine what he must have been thinking.

“Well! Dig in then!” Your Godfather declared. You were shy at first, reaching for the spoons and serving tiny portions on your plate, but after a few cups of revnog, the conversation began flowing, and the formalities began disappearing. Even Cassian was laughing and cracking jokes with your Godfather.

The blond-haired man slinked from his chair next to the king to the empty one next to you. “You don’t remember me, do you?” He slurred his words as he scanned you up and down, the clear liquid sloshing in his goblet

“I’m sorry, it’s been kind of chaotic.” You shrugged, your eyelashes feeling heavy and your head slightly lighter, from the copious amount of drinks.

“I’ll give you a clue.” He took a spoon from your plate, licked it, and stuck it on his nose, chuckling drunkenly. Memories of childhood flashed through your minds. How you and the king's son would hang out every day as children while your parents and the king dealt with political affairs.

“Tenok!” you shrieked, giggling, “It’s been so long, you look so different!” You smiled and threw your arms around him, giving him a solid hug. His hands snaked their way to your back, lowering to that soft space between your lower back and the fabric. Cassian’s teeth gritted, his fist rolled into a ball under the table, his knuckles turning white from the grip. With his other hand, he moved his chalice to his lips while rolling his eyes.

The king, too drunk to notice anything, gleefully exclaimed, “Finally, these two recognize each other!” He laughed boisterously and turned to Cassian, “You know they would play for hours every day, practically tearing this palace down. Her parents, uh, my best friends, and I always thought they would have ended up married.” He laughed again and took another sip, his laugh becoming a strained raspy set of coughs.“Well, I think it is time for me to turn in, I’m not a young man anymore.” He inched closer to Cassian and whispered, “I told the help to clear the room at the other end of the palace, it’s the farthest from my chambers, I don’t wanna hear anything I shouldn’t! Ask her how to get to it, she’ll know.” The king patted Cassian’s shoulder and stood up, slowly waddling away.

Once it was just you three in the vast dining hall, Cassian decided you two should probably head to the room and begin sweeping for bugs before bed. “Amor,” he began, but was quick to assume he was completely ignored, seeing you seemingly too enthralled in your conversation with Tenok. In reality, you weren’t used to him, or anyone for that matter, calling you such a loving pet name, so your instinct wasn’t to turn. Cassian grumbled your name, and your head turned to face him. “I think we should turn in, too. It’s getting late.” 

“Yes. Of course.” You nodded, excusing yourself goodnight and standing.

“I’m just gonna sit here and finish my drink, goodnight…” Tenok slurred, purring your name, in a way that, for some reason, made Cassian want to go up to him and punch him square in the face.

Cassian walked you to the dining hall exit, his hand moved to your waist, sliding down to just above your ass. He made sure to turn before exiting, shooting a quick smirk at Tenok. You giggled sultrily at the unexpected touch, still very tipsy.

Once you were outside, the vast hallway looked overwhelming to Cassian. “The king said our room was the farthest from his chambers,” he said.

“Ah,” you hiccuped, “the honeymoon suite.”

“The what?”

“The honeymoon suite,” you repeated.

“Why the hell is it called that?” 

“I don’t know, I didn’t really think about it when I was nine— but if I had to guess, it’s probably because it's the room with the most privacy in the entire palace. I think the only rooms nearby are the guard’s quarters and Tenok’s chamber.” You guided him the long way across the palace to the honeymoon suite. Running your fingers through the marble walls.

Cassian closed the door behind you and held up a finger to his mouth. You remembered what he had told you before you left the ship and nodded. He bent down and whispered so quietly you barely heard him, “follow my lead.” You nodded and sat on the king-sized bed, trying to still your dizziness. Your heart skipped a beat when you thought about the sleeping conditions of the night.

“You like that?” Cassian said loudly to no one, kneeling on the floor and looking under the bed frame. His voice was different, gruffer, thicker, seductive. He stood up when he found nothing and looked at you in the eyes, “Moan for me, baby.” He groaned with a deadpan face. Your eyes widened, and you choked slightly, raising your eyebrows at him. He circled his hands motioning you to do as you were told, “Come on, Amor, moan for me like you did on our wedding night.”

Your face flushed the same color as your dress, and you shook your head. Surely, he didn’t expect you to actually do that?  Cassian gave you a stern look, and you let out a very meek whine. He gestured with his hands again, signaling you to be more enthusiastic, and you felt your stomach drop, a searing, intense feeling rushing through your body, the spot between your thighs feeling slippery. ‘Why was he torturing you? And why in the Universe was he so good at dirty talking? You thought. But he was your captain, and his orders had to be followed. So, you let the liquid courage from dinner pulse through your bloodstream, and you moaned. Loud. And you did it again, even louder.

Cassian gave you a thumbs up, and he walked to the Armoire, his fingers tracing for bugs, “Come on, hermosa, show me how much you want me to slip that pretty dress off.” 

“Kassa, please, I need it so bad!” You yelled, exaggerated, and covered your mouth to stifle your nervous, drunken laughter.

Cassian turned towards you upon hearing his nickname, and rolled his eyes; his tanned face had a red tint. And he quietly shifted, feeling his pants growing tighter. He groaned, sounding a little too realistic. He continued searching, moving his way to the large, plush bed where you were sitting. His body was close to yours as you kept releasing a medley of sounds. He stretched to the back of the headboard, his robe shirt lifting slightly, and his stomach brushed against your lips, his happy trail tickling your mouth. You accidentally moaned into it, and he fell back into the nightstand, shocked, at the tickling sensation. The lamp on the nightstand fell with a loud crash. You gasped, unable to hold it in.

Cassian didn’t skip a beat. His eyes quickly looked back and forth, and within seconds, he yelled, “Yeah, you like it rough, huh?” he pushed the rest of the items on the nightstand to the floor. 

“Yes, Cassian! Yes! Just like that!” You yelled in response, reminding yourself not to get all hot and bothered; it was just a part of the mission, nothing personal.

He kneeled on the floor, looking through the various broken pieces of machinery scattered on the tiles.“You like how hard I fuck you don’t you?” He practically growled. If this was just acting, he was very good at it.

Cassian smiled as he lifted a small disk from the floor. To the normal person, it looked like just a hardware piece from a broken lamp, but you knew what it was, and you smiled back at Cassian, relieved and slightly disappointed this was over, but then Cassian's lips transformed into a dark grin as he remembered Tenok’s room was next door. By this time, he should’ve finished his drink and was probably lying in bed, hearing all of this commotion, and that brought an unexplainable satisfaction to Cassian. “You wanted me so bad during dinner, didn’t you? You were practically undressing me with your eyes. I'm gonna cum inside, I want you to take it like a good girl!” He announced, louder than necessary, letting the echo travel across the room.

Your head whipped down to look at Cassian, a bewildered shock in your eyes. He dropped the bug and stomped on it with the heel of his boot, a smug smirk on his face, "coast is clear." He said in a hushed tone.

You nodded, in the absence of words. What was even there to say after that? Cassian turned towards you, his face returning to that oh-so-serious-captain-face you had often thought about sucker punching. "Listen to me, pretty soon, someone is going to notice the microphone in our room is broken, so a guard is going to knock on our door and ask some questions, I need you to look like we've just…" He trailed off, seemingly embarrassed all of a sudden. 'What the hell happened to that dirty mouth?' you wondered.

You nodded, your hands messing with your hair, throwing your headpiece on the floor, you remembered what Cassian had said earlier about removing your 'pretty dress', so you got under the covers, and shimmied your dress off, letting it fall to the floor. The fit of the dress was too tight to allow for underwear, adding yet another layer of humiliation.

Cassian, who was ruffling his own hair, looked down at you with wide eyes and red cheeks, noticing how your arm held on to the bed sheets covering your chest. He turned away quickly, and shucked his shirt off. Your eyes trailed down to his broad shoulders, his back was toned, and several small lines were littered across his tanned skin. Your eyes focused on a particularly gnarly one on his side, and you immediately recognized it as the one you had stitched and repaired. You admired your work, the scar was healing beautifully. 'Of course it was, the best doctor in the rebellion did it.'

Like clockwork, a knock thundered on the door, jumping you out of your thoughts. Cassian walked towards you. You felt exposed, the way Cassian stared at you, his hand stretched to your lips, smudging your lipstick and placing the leftover on his lips. The knock came again, louder and aggressive. "Kiss my neck," he said urgently, and you complied, absent-mindedly trailing down to his chest without his command, and planting one in the middle. "That's enough, thank you." He cleared his throat and walked towards the door, unbuttoning his pants. The heat in your stomach was relentless, and you felt embarrassed at how soaked you must've been leaving the bed covers.

Cassian opened the door and was greeted by a man in Imperial clothing, "I'm sorry to bother you, Mr. Andor, but we heard some strange noises, and we're concerned about you and your wife's safety." The main said, sounding monotone and official, "Do you mind if I step in to asses the situation?"

"We're a little indisposed at the moment," Cassian countered, his eyes pointing to you lying in the bed, with a flushed tint on your face. You gave a sheepish smile to the guard who could perfectly see you from his eyeline.

"I understand. It will only take a moment, it's for your own safety." The man stepped in without invitation, brushing past Cassian, inspecting the room. He looked at K-2, who was shut down in a chair, and walked towards the bed frame, where all its contents were spilled on the floor. He kneeled to further inspect.

"Sorry about that, it got a little wild." Cassian jibed.

"So I see," The man said, his tone uncomfortable, lifting himself with his knee and walking to the door. "Well, nothing seems out of the ordinary, you folks have a good night." He adjusted his cap and closed the door behind him, clearly in a rush to leave the sex-crazed newlyweds.

"Okay." Cassian said, relief flooding his body, "We're safe for tonight, but from now on, assume the only place to talk is outside the palace or in the ship." His eyes lingered on the bedsheets covering your body.

You shifted, self-consciously, "Got it."

Had this actually just happened? You closed your eyes as you thought about the fact that in the span of twenty minutes, you had fake sex with your superior, who you weren't aware had such a filthy mouth. Not to mention how you were interrogated by an Imperial guard, who looked at you with such disgust, practically slit shaming you with his eyes. And this was barely the first night? You secretly wished for the room to swallow you whole.

Your hands nervously moved to a strand of hair, the bedsheets slipping down, exposing your chest. You yelped and yanked the bedsheets back up, too scared to look up at Cassian, who you knew had witnessed the whole thing. You swallowed nervously, "Um, Captain, could you pass me my sleeping gown, it's, uh, on the chair next to K-2."

"Uhm, y-yes," Cassian mumbled, his legs moving before his brain could process it. He made a subtle grab of a pillow and held it against his hips. He took your sleeping gown and threw it at you, excusing himself to the refresher. After hearing the shower turn on and assuming you were going to be alone for a while, you quickly scrambled out of bed to put on your clothes. You screamed as a sharp metal shard from the lamp impaled your foot. You dropped to the floor and held your bleeding foot.

Cassian ran out of the refresher, shirtless with only a towel wrapped around his waist, steam escaping through the door, "What happened?" He implored. Water droplets falling from his hair.

You heard his footsteps racing towards you, and you peeked your head out from the bed, "No, no, no, don't come over here, I'm still naked, it's nothing to worry about! Just a small cut." You slipped on your sleeping gown quickly and stood up, limping towards the table where your suitcase was, and grabbed your medpac. Hobbling towards the now-empty refresher, closing the door behind you, too embarrassed to say anything, leaving Cassian standing there, soaking wet with his mouth agape.

By the time you got out of the shower, with your foot bandaged and your nightdress finally on for the night, Cassian was sitting with K-2, playing some card game. He turned towards you with a slightly annoyed look, "If you're going to steal someone's shower, at least make it quick."

"Right, sorry." You mumbled, rolling onto bed, fully sober and extremely sleepy. Cassian grumbled something in Kenarian, too low for you to hear, and stepped into the refresher. When he got out of the bathroom, the room was fully dark, K-2 was powered off, and you were fast asleep, sprawled on the bed. Cassian chuckled, moving your leg to your side and lying down, noticing how deep of a sleeper you were. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

—

You woke in the morning, unsure of what time it was. It must have been early because the light that shone through the curtains was faint, the only sound that was emitted from the room was the chirping of birds outside, and Cassian's soft snoring in your ear. Cassian. Snoring. In your ear? Your eyebrows lifted, and you became aware of his strong arm wrapped around your waist. You felt the hair on his chest tickle your back, as his hips lightly thrusted into the small of your back. 'Is he seriously sleep humping me?'

You cleared your throat loudly, and Cassian woke up choking on his snores. You pretended to be asleep, as Cassian sat up and looked at your face, his warmth and sweat unsticking from your body. You shivered at the chilly air, and he lifted the bed sheets to your chest. You smiled as he rose from the bed and made his way to the refresher.

Today was going to be a long day.

Chapter 4 ↸

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taglist: @bigolidioot

[bluegalaxygirl]

Canvas (Zosan X Reader)

Thanks to @mrstrafalgardwater24 for the request on the first part. again i'm sorry for the wait.

Plot: Kuina and the crew paint your baby bump.

Warning: Bad language, extreme Fluff, Violence and Pregnancy stuff.

Reader is Female, Zoro X Sanji x Reader, Poly relationship, established relationship. Kuina is 5ish and has blonde hair, your eye's and skin color. Reader is about 6 to 7 months along.

You have no idea where Kuina got this idea but now that it's happening its hard to complain about it, you know the crew already loves your daughter and the baby still growing inside you but once the little girl mentioned painting on your stomach suddenly everyone wanted to do it all having different ideas of how to show their love and care for the baby. Its turned into more of a competition between a few of the crew member's so to stop any fighting and to let everyone have some fun Kuina decided to make into a contest lasting over the next week. Sitting on the deck of the sunny you can't help but smile as your daughter stands in front of you with several large tubes of different colored body paints, paintbrushes, plastic plates, pencils and paper all laid out on the grassy deck "Alright so the teams are, Luffy and Us opp, Robin and Nami, Chopper and Jibe, Franky and Brook and of course me and my dads" Kuina gives a big smile turning to her farther's who are next to her both giving her a confirming nod, Zoro can't help but smirk at his daughter taking charge as he sits cross-legged in grass facing his little girl while Sanji stands behind him mainly leaning on the swordsman's shoulder with hearts in his eyes. "Everyone will put their deigns down on paper and tomorrow we'll draw straws to see who goes first, i don't want anyone changing their designs after seeing anyone else's. We'll try and do one a day and if Mama needs a break then she gets a break" Kuina puffs out her cheeks making you giggle as Luffy, Usopp and Franky all bow their heads "Yes ma'am" the three say in unison making some of the other crew laugh seeing the hold the young girl has over her uncles. With a big smile your daughter starts handing out the pencils and paper letting the groups start to plan their designs and choosing their color scheme, "Hay wait a minute, who's going to judge?" Nami asks suddenly realizing, Usopp and Luffy are quick to look up from the paper their both sitting with to look at Kuina both realizing there isn't one.

Your daughter giggles taking a pencil and paper before rushing over to the bench your sitting soon followed by Sanji and Zoro "Mama of course" She states sitting down to you as you place a hand on her head and ruffle her hair "Hay thats not fair, of course Y/n is going to pick your design since your her daughter and partners" Usopp jumps up pointing his hand out at the four of you, Zoro lets out a chuckle letting a cheeky grin form on his face "Too bad for you long nose, just try your best then" Before an argument can break out you lightly slap the swordsman's arm then turn to the sniper "Your right, i would be biased so maybe we should have a point's system. Like 1 to 5 stars, I'll count them up so only i can see" You elbow Sanji slightly as he sits down next you his smile growing at the food reference you made "Oh my love thats so sweet" The cook sways slightly a blush appearing on his face making you giggle, Usopp sighs feeling more relaxed about things and nods his head along with Kuina who's happy that everything seems to be going well. Through the day the teams worked on their deigns most of the either measured your belly to work out proportions while others dragged you off to have a privet chat, it made you more curious about their designs since Chopper pulled you into the medical room and with the help of Jinbe placed a strange snail device on your stomach, they secretly talked before saying you could go while Brook and Franky did a lot of measurements even going as far as to get a drawing compass, a proctor and a drafter tool. None of them let you see their designs not even your own family who did most of their work in the kitchen discussing and some times arguing on what to do and coming up with an idea they could actually do instead of something big and complicated.

The next day came quickly and everyone was back outside eager to draw the straws and see what order they would be in, the plan was they would have the whole afternoon to do their work and then a photo would be taken before showing everyone who will then each secretly write down on a slip of paper how many stars which you would then count up and keep in a small book. Of course, you would be voting too but you made a mental note to not add your scores until the end as not to be tempted to add more or less to other peoples scores, with your pregnancy brain you will mostly likely forget what ever you wrote down the day before, last night you forgot what chapter you were up too in your book even though there was a bookmark on the page. "Ok, on three. One, Two… Three" Kuina yells as a member from each team pulls a straw out of your hand each a different length "Yessss" Luffy yells while holding the longest straw out of the bunch soon followed by Usopp who lifts his captain into the air as if they've won the whole contest "Calm down you two, geez" Nami sighs while pinching the bridge of her nose waiting for Robin to compare her straw with that of Chopper's and Brooks who were all the middle people "Looks like were going last" Kuina states holding the smallest straw, you thought she would be sad about it but instead she has a massive smile on her face while looking up at you and her two dads, Zoro nods sitting next to you on the bench and placing an arm around your shoulder "It'll give us more time to practice painting" the swordsman leans forward ruffling his daughters hair who groans and shoves his hand off earning a chuckle form her farther.

Sanji shakes his head while taking a seat on your work side placing his hand on your large stomach "If you ever need a break love just say so… I'll kick their asses out if i have too" The cook smirks, turning to face him you place your hand over his feeling your heart swell with love, you couldn't ask for better partners, the two are always so caring and eager to help you out when ever you need "Thanks darling" You whisper leaning in to place a light kiss on his lips which he happily leans into. "Alright gets get going, come on" Luffy and Usopp run over holding out their hands for you to take, in the past they would have just grabbed you and ran off but the first time that happened while you were pregnant with Kuina your two boys almost kicked them both off the ship and into the ocean then made them do all the chores and heavy lifting on the ship for a week, safe to say they learned their lesson. Standing up with the help of Zoro and Sanji you kiss the two goodbye before turning to your daughter who hands you your book and pen, placing a light kiss on Kuina's head you take the book and give her a looking look while running your hand over her cheek "See you later sweetie" With a wave to the others you head off with Luffy and Usopp who have already gathered what they needed and guided you to the aquarium bar. The once dim room was now light making it easier to see, a section of the large sofa lining the long fish tang was covered in a white sheet that flowed down onto the floor being held in place with white tape and two old tables on either side.

Luffy helps you get comfortable while Usopp sets up the paints and the paper they used to draw on, sitting down you sigh relaxing into the soft cuisines of the sofa "Do you need more cuisines? Water? Food?" Luffy asks hovering a little seeming a little nervous for some reason, taking his hand you give him a smile "A bottle of water would be nice but are you ok captain?" You look up at him with concern, Luffy gulps while rubbing the back of his neck "W-well, while Sanji and Zoro aren't here it's my job to look after you and.. I don't know what i'm doing, Usopp's here but.." The captain sighs looking over to his friend who is loft in thought while mixing colors together to get the right shade. Patting the captains hand you give him a big smile feeling your chest warm up at how much he cares for you and your health "Your doing great, if i need something I'll tell you, ok?" You ask getting Luffy to look at you, his eyes search yours before giving you a nod knowing your not lying to him, a large smile starts to from on his face before quick to rushing off to the bar area letting his arm stretch as to not pull you along. Letting out a little snort you can't help but start to laugh, your hand grips onto your belly as you lean forward finding the starching arm still holding your hand unbelievably funny, Luffy soon finds a bottle of water and rushes back over watching you wipe tears from your eyes before taking the bottle off him "T-thanks Lu" You giggle managing to calm from your laughing fit and let go of his hand, Usopp soon snaps out of his own little world and turns around going to speak when he see's the tears in your eyes, his body goes stiff in panic before lunging at Luffy grabbing his captain by the collar and shaking him "What did you do? Why is she gonna cry?" The captain raises an eyebrow at his friend letting his body be shaken back and forth "Usopp it's ok, Luffy made me laugh thats all" You reach out managing to stop the sniper from panicking.

With the room much calmer and Usopp apologizing to his captain the two get started on painting your belly, at first you have no idea what their making other than it being food related since Luffy kept saying how yummy it was going to look only to be hit by Usopp stating they can't eat it. The two kept you entertained or the next hour with banter, food jokes which lead Luffy to rush off for a few minutes to get snacks and the snipers adventure stories, it was so sweet seeing the long nosed man telling his obviously fake stories to your baby, It was also sweet to see Luffy look after you in a way he's never done so before, always checking if you needed anything, asking if your comfortable and helping you up if you ever needed to stretch. Two hours later they were done, after taking a photo and letting you have a look first they let the rest of the crew in to see the finished product "The great captain Usopp has created another fine master piece" Usopp smirks while pointing a thumb at himself clearly proud of his work, Kuina smiles wide while running up her uncle with big sparkling eyes "Wow, it looks so good" Chopper soon joins in on your daughters praising boosting the snipers ego more much to Nami and Zoro's dismay who both let out an annoyed sigh. Luffy groans with a pout some drool forming at the side of his mouth while laying on the floor his arm and head propped up onto the sofa next to you "It looks so yummy, now i really want cupcakes… Sanji" The captain whines while turning to look at the cook with puppy dog eyes only to be hit over the head by the cook "Don't you dare look at her like that and you can't have anything else, you've already had snacks" The blonde huff crossing his arms over his chest.

Letting out a giggle you look down at your tummy seeing the massive cupcake the two have done, the blue icing with sprinkles and a red cherry really does look yummy, the bow was also a very cute idea even though the two were slightly reluctant to use pink, no one knows what the gender is but the two are convinced it's going to be a boy. "Alright thats enough, lets vote so the two of you can get cleaned up, your both a mess" Nami sighs crossing her arms and handing out pieces of paper and pens letting each person write down how many stars "It really does look good Uncle Lu" Kuina gives the captain a big smile while handing you her piece of folded up paper "Thanks, it really does look yummy…. Quick let raid the fridge before your daddy finds out" Luffy whispers quickly passing you his piece of paper before picking your giggling daughter up and running to the kitchen, with a small laugh you watch as the cook makes his way over to you with a raised eyebrow handing you his piece of paper, all it took was one sorry look from you to know what was going on, in an instant the blonde goes from confused, to shock and then anger "Luffy, get your ass back here" Sanji yells with fury running off to stop his captain from raiding his kitchen and teaching his daughter bad habit's, with a chuckle Zoro plots down next to you and places his arm around your shoulders, the swordsman places his piece of paper on your lap before kissing your head which you lean into.

----- Team 2, Robin and Nami -----

The next day was Robin's and Nami's turn, again the aquarium bar was cleaned and set up so you could sit while they paint, luckily the paint was easy to wash off in the shower last night and didn't leave any residue so your stomach was a clean canvas for the two girls. Sitting down on the sofa you watch the two girls work together while chatting and filling you in on gossip you may have missed, it's a much calmer experience than yesterday which your glad for since after yesterdays antics your a little tired. As the two girls pause to get more paint you shift a little to rub your lower back only to feel two hands start to rub it for you, turning in surprise you see two hands attached to the sofa rubbing your lower back for you, knowing right away its robins doing you turn to the black haired woman and flash a thankful smile grateful for her kindness "We can take a break if you want" Robin smiles back putting down her paint and paint brush to clean her hands on a wet cloth, Nami quickly turns with slight concern not noticing you were unconformable but you don't blame her since you tried not to show it until now "Yes please" Pushing yourself up Nami is quick to rush over and take your arm helping you stand straight up "Do you want me to ask Sanji for some snack?" The navigator asks but you shake your head not feeling the need for food right now, starting to walk around Nami sticks next to you holding your arm while Robin continues with the paints and cleaning any mess they have made "I'm not an old lady Nam" You giggle taking the orange haired girls hand in yours happy to walk with her without assistance, Nami sighs before letting out a laugh gladly taking your hand and letting your arm go "Sorry"

Looking Nami over you let out a sigh wondering why she's so tense all of a sudden, before you can ask the navigator sighs seeing your giving her questioning eyes "I've never been in charge of looking after you while pregnant, i'm just… nervous that I'll do something wrong" Looking away from you Nami refuses to look you in the eyes even when you stop and take her chin bringing her face to look at you "Nami, your not doing anything wrong and i know you feel like you have too but you don't need to look after me, just because i'm pregnant doesn't mean i can't do things or tell you if i need something… Just having you around is helping me, your so caring and quick to jump to my aid either physically or verbally… mainly physically, i can't ask for anything else" You can't help but laugh at the last bit remembering how if someone made you cry or angry even by accident Nami would be so quick to hit who ever it is and make them apologies. The navigator looks up at you as you squeeze her hand in reassurance noticing the soft thankful look on your face, a small smile starts to spread across her lips while squeezing your hand back "I'll always come to your aid, if anyone hurts my girls their going to feel my wrath" The two of you laugh at her statement even though its true, all the girls on the ship feel the need to protect each other no matter what "I'm in safe hands" You hug the orange haired girls arm and lay your head on her shoulder as the two of you start walking again letting laughter fill the air.

Your greeted by Robin as the two of you get back to the sofa, the black haired woman sitting with one leg over the other while patting the place next to her for you to sit "Unfortunately were no where near done yet so to relieve your back pain i thought of an idea" Sitting down next to the woman you suddenly feel something press against your back that isn't the sofa, with a squeak you turn seeing 5 rows of hands with no wrists pressed into the sofa so you could lean back with comfort while so getting any benefits of a message. Letting out a laugh of relief you lean back against the hands, it's a strange feeling but as they start to lightly run circles over your back and shoulders you forget all about it "Thanks Robin, this is amazing but are you sure? i don't want you over working yourself" Robins sweet smile growls wider as she stands taking a plate of paint from Nami who has grabbed her own and kneels down to start working again " Thank you for your concern but I'll be fine, it's the least i can do for letting us do this" The black haired woman kneels down beside Nami starting her work again as you relax into the light massage revealing your back pain. Once the girls are done Robin takes a photo while Nami heads off to get the others, its clear now what the painting is and it brings a big smile to your face seeing the birds nest with flowers around it and three little eggs in the middle "Its so cute, my girls did so well" Sanji smiles wide while swaying from side to side, hearts appearing in his eyes making Robin giggle and Nami crosses her arms with pride "Three Egg's? Does that mean something?" Jinbe asks directing his question at Robin.

The black haired woman looks to Nami with a closed eye'd smile making the navigator blush and turn away "There were supposed to be five, one for each member of the family but… it would have been too small" Luffy is quick to run over and wrap his arms around the navigator trying to cheer her up with the help of Chopper and Kuina all telling her how good of an idea it was and that it's ok that it didn't work out that way. "Ah i see, so one for each parent" Franky states leaning down to look over the work, Brook stands behind him tilting his head to look around the cyborgs head "Its a lovely design, i'm starting to think ours is too sim-" Before the skeleton can finish his sentence Franky whips his head around an intense look on his face "Our's isn't simple" Zoro gives the two a cocky smile as he walks past them to sit next to you and wrap an arm around your shoulders "It doesn't matter if its simple or not" With a sigh you lightly hit the swordsman's secretly telling him to stop since you know where this was going, but he ignores you since Franky and Brook both turn to him with puzzled looks taking the bait with ease "Your not going to be the ones to win… I'm gonna win and there's nothing you can do about it… I have the judge on my side" That cocky smile gets bigger as the two growl at him, the swordsman's arm pulls you closer, so he can place a kiss on your head all while keeping his eyes on the two "That's not how this works" Franky yells with anger stepping a little closer, you would be scared it you didn't know he wasn't going to hurt Zoro, your too close to the green haired man so Franky won't risk it. Brook on the other hand tries to calm the situation down to the best of his ability soon having to get help from Robin and Sanji.

----- Team 3, Brook and Franky -----

Sitting once again in the aquarium bar you try not to laugh as Franky kneels in front of your talking to your stomach while Brook sets up everything on the floor, so they don't have to keep standing up. "This is very important little dude or dudette, were going to create the greatest masterpiece anyone has laid their eyes on but for this to work you have to keep as still as possible. I don't mind you moving around but please… i beg and plead with you to not push or kick towards us.. Ok?" The cyborg taps your exposed belly with his finger as if he's giving your baby a head pat before looking up at you with a big smile "Think they understand?" Letting out a laugh you place a hand on your belly and nod, with a sigh Franky leans back crossing his arms over his chest "And none of that either, you can't laugh or cough, this is delicate work" a pout forms on the cyborgs face making you throw your head back in laughter soon joined by a chuckle from Brook. After you manage to calm down and get comfortable the two start working on your stomach painting fine lines, Franky works on one said with Brook works on the other, its clear the two have been practicing in their spare time since their lines match each other perfectly, once in a while you would feel the baby shift so to stop the cyborg from panicking you would tell him about the slightest movement which he's quite thankful for.

Half an hour later you feel the baby getting fussy, its foot starting to press into your side, it doesn't hurt much its just a little uncomfortable and its probably best you get up and walk mainly to see if that will help the baby settle "Can we take a break?" You ask looking down at the two, Franky is lost on concentration his tongue peeking out the side of his mouth while Brook quickly look up at you and nods putting his stuff down before tapping the cyborg on the shoulder to get his attention "Of course, are you ok?" Brook asks standing up and offering his hand to you, taking his hand he helps you to your feet while Franky moves things out of the way for you "Yea, just a little uncomfortable, sorry the baby's being fussy" Brook shakes his head and links your arm with his while walking with you, its only now you realize someone always seems instant on walking with you, it makes you wonder if Sanji or Zoro said something or if your crew is just that concerned. "Don't be, its natural and you and your baby's comfort is more important… just don't tell Franky that" The skeleton whispers getting you to let out a little giggle, you know the cyborg cares but when he sets his mind to something its almost impossible to stop him, no wonder him and the captain get on so well. "So tiny" Brook whispers before a blush forms in his face realizing he said it out loud, raising an eyebrow you look between him and your belly noticing the tiny foot pressing into your side is now more visible than before.

Taking the Skeletons boney you lay his fingers over the foot knowing it won't move away now that the baby seems comfortable in this perspiration "I know right, its weird to think that one day they might be taller than me, stronger than me… i often wonder what adventures they might go on or what they will inspire to be, they have a lot of options and a lot of good teachers" A large smile forms on your face while looking up at the slightly teary eye'd skeleton as his fingers lightly run over the baby's foot "What ever they will be i know they will be amazing at it." Brook looks back to you with his smile getting bigger only for the moment to be interrupted by Franky "Hay be careful don't smug our work" The cyborg yells earning a sigh from the both of you, brooks hand is no where near the art work, but he removes his hand anyway and holds it up in the air in surrender. "The baby's settled now so hopefully it will be easier for you" You state walking back over to the sofa followed closely by the musician and being helped back down onto the sofa by Franky. Despite the design looking simple it takes almost three hours to do but once's its done and your handed the photo to see painting better your shocked at the thought and effort put into it. "I see you went for a mandala theme, it works perfect on her round stomach and the design also has pieces of each parent" Robin ponders once everyone has entered the room to have a look, Luffy and Chopper tilt their head in amazement and slight confusion while Usopp steps closer to get a better look "Its amazing, i can't tell whose work is who's and there's not a line out of place, no wonder this took almost four hours" The sniper states in amazement.

Raising an eyebrow at robins words you take another look at the photo before gasping in shock, Zoro is quick to rush to your side about to ask what's wrong but you turn to Brook and Franky with a giant grin that starts to hurt your face "Oh my gods, you didn't" A giggle leaves your lips getting the two to blush slightly and shy away a little, Zoro sighs in relief while placing a hand on your head "Don't do that to me" after shooting the swordsman a sorry look you see Kuina walk over to you and look over your belly also giving a gasp "Oh i see it now, Daddy your eyebrows are there and Dad so are your swords" Kuina pointing them out without touching the design, the two take a closer look noticing it too, Sanji's cheeks turn red as a smile forms on his face while Zoro flashes Brook and Franky a grin seeming to boost the two's ego's "Wait you said all the parents so where's Y/N?" Nami asks looking to the two artist's, Brook lets out a small chuckle since he did tell the cyborg that it was too subtle to notice, with a sigh Franky walks over to you and bends down while holding his palm out, the tiny hand inside his large one springs out before tracing over the image in different area's "We'll all the large curves mean hidden and the small circles surrounding them mean strength, so in other words hidden strength. The large flower like pattern means truth and these small things sticking out the stops mean joy, add that all together and its Y/n in a nut shell"

Your eyes tear up with his words as Kuina looks at him with stars in her eyes "You are such a sap" Nami giggle with a large smile on her face, Franky quickly turns to her blushing at her comment but doesn't have time to speak when you tackle him with a side hug "Oh Franky that is so sweet, i love it so much and thank you too Brook, you boys did an amazing job" You start to cry out of joy shocking the cyborg who puts an arm around you to try and comfort you, while holding his head back trying not to cry himself at your words, Sanji lets out a chuckle while taking Zoro's hand shooting his partner a cheeky grin which earns a cunning one from the swordsman both knowing there going to tease the cyborg about this later. Kuina giggles while rubbing your back happy to see how much love her mother is getting, she's soon pulled into the hug when you wave brook over wanting to thank him as well.

----- Team 4, Chopper and Jinbe -----

You took a day off from all the painting before letting the next two have their turn, as much as your enjoying all the love and care your baby is getting it made you tired so you spent most of the day sleeping, only waking up to eat. When ever you woke up you weren't alone either Zoro was sleeping next to you his arm around your waist and head on your chest or Sanji was reading with his arm around you letting you cuddle into his side as he quietly reads, sometimes whispering parts of his book he thinks the baby will like, then theirs Kuina who would be either drawing or reading a children's book to your baby while laying as close as possible to your belly. After your rest day it was finally time for Chopper and Jinbe to start their work, this was one of the most confusing to figure out from the start, that strange device they used on your belly days before along with only picking black and white as their color's made it hard to figure out what they were going to do. During the process you kept looking at your belly seeing them paint a big black area and then start adding strokes white "You ok? You look uncomfortable" Chopper asks with a concerned tone not liking the strange face your pulling, snapping out of your thoughts you look to the doctor, your facial expression instantly softens at seeing white and black paint spots on his cheek and blue nose "No i'm ok, just can't make out what your design is, with most of the others i could make it out at least half-way through" You giggle grabbing a damp cloth and leaning forward slightly wipe the paint of Choppers face.

Jinbe returns from the table with a cleaned off brush and more white paint going back to kneeling in front of you "I'm actually glad you can't tell what it is" You raise an eyebrow at the fish man who lets out a small chuckle with a large smile, Chopper lets out a small laugh too letting you whip the paint off his nose before speaking "Don't worry, it's going to be great, i don't know if we'll win but i know it will make you, Zoro, Sanji and Kuina happy" Putting the damp cloth down you lean back into the sofa, being kept in the dark leaves you a little anxious but you trust the two and know that they mean what they say "We would like the family to come into the room before showing the rest of the crew, i feel the reveal should be shared with the parents and sibling" Jinbe rubs your arm giving you a comforting smile, letting out a breath you relax and nod deciding to watch the fish swimming around in the tank while the two get back to work, the fish man is somehow amazing at calming you down even when your partners can't, you don't know if it's his experiences that make him that way or the fact that you see him as the jolly and kind uncle figure. Their deign was simple but still took about an hour and a half the two constantly looking at the sheet of paper in front of them along with a photo they kept out of your sight but you tried not to pry thinking it would be best to wait until your partners and daughter are in the room before looking.

Kuina runs up to you with a large smile seeming super excited to see what is so special that only the four of you get to see first, Sanji and Zoro walk in behind her both giving you a smile before looking down at your belly, all their smiles drop making anxiety well up inside. Zoro tilts his head in confusion along with Kuina who squint her eyes trying to figure out what it is but Sanji slaps a hand over his mouth, his eyes welling up with tears. Jinbe lets out a jolly laugh before handing you the photo they took of the painting along with the photo they have been hiding from you, your jaw drops tears welling up in your eyes at the first image of your baby, while the painting on your belly was enlarged only showing the head and chest, the scan of your baby was a full body one showing off his little hands and feet. "Oh, Jinbe, Chopper… Thank you" Tears fall down your cheeks as you look to the two who both have big smiles on their faces, Sanji suddenly breaks seeing you cry, tears fall down his cheeks as he rushes over to you, standing as quickly as your can the two of you hug each other "Oh my love, their beautiful" The two of you happily cry into each the cooks arms around your waist rubbing your back and crying into your shoulder while your arms wrap around his neck, one hand running through his hair. The scene makes Zoro and Kuina even more confused, seeing this Chopper walks over taking both their hands and pulling the two over to you "I managed to find a all ultrasound machine, it lets you see inside a person's body and maps out organs and stuff, but we used it to see the baby inside" Pulling away from Sanji you look to the two and hand over the photo in your hands but its only Kuina who takes it in slight shock.

Zoro wraps his arms around you placing kisses on your cheek down to your neck and to your shoulder before pulling away to cup your face "Sanji's right, their beautiful, I love you so much" the swordsman's voice is shaky, but he holds back the tears "I love you all so much" You whisper back placing a kiss on his lips before turning to Sanji who pulls the two of you in for a quick three-way kisses "You're amazing my love, I love you and Zoro, thank you both for another beautiful gift" The cook starts to cry again getting a small chuckle out of the swordsman who pulls the two of you back in for a hug. The three of you can't help but grin like idiots feeling giddy and overly excited about seeing your baby before its even born. "So.. thats my baby brother or sister?" Kuina asks still in slight shock as Chopper points out things for her on the photo helping her see the baby better, placing a hand on your stomach being careful of the slightly smudged art work Zoro moves out-of-the-way so Kuina can have another look "Sorry about your work" The swordsman looks to Chopper and Jinbe feeling a little bad at ruining their work but the big fish man chuckles walking over to pat the green haired man on the back "Its fine, we knew this would happen, were just glad you all love it" Chopper nods at his friends words watching as your daughter walks up to your belly with a smile placing her hands either side of the art work "Hello, it so weird seeing you before your here"

Placing a hand on her head you lightly stroke her hair feeling your heart swell with warmth at seeing how excited she is "We have one more surprise if you want to hear it" Jinbe smirks moving to stand next to Chopper who's still holding the photo in his hand "We know the gender of the baby, do you want to know?" Chopper asks with a large smile slightly bouncing on his feet in excitement, Kuina looks up at you silently begging to know if it's a boy or a girl while you look to your boys, Zoro places a hand around your waist while his other hand goes of Kuina's on your stomach giving you a slight nod while Sanji places his hand over his daughter other hand, his other hand going through your hair before resting on your shoulder "Its up to you love but.. i would like to know" The cook whispers his giddy smile getting even bigger, "Ok.. Yea, we'd like to know" You state looking back to Chopper who jumps a little with joy "You're having a boy" Kuina lets out a loud gasp before hugging your waist not caring that the paint will smudge on her face "Your so cute baby brother" Your heart swell once again as tears from in your eyes, Sanji is quick to kiss your cheek wrapping his arms around you and Kuina, he honestly didn't care if it was a boy or a girl but at least now he can start calling the baby his little prince, Zoro finally lets a tear fall but shoves his head into your neck while rubbing his daughters back hoping to hide it, he didn't mind having another girl but now they would have one of each, for some reason it made him feel like the family is complete.

It took a while for the four of you to calm down enough to thank Chopper in Jinbe, you couldn't help but pull the two into a hug, Chopper let you keep the ultrasound photo while he kept the photo of the art work knowing now he needed to show it to the crew. Unfortunately with all the hugging, crying and touching the once beautiful artwork was now nothing more than a gray patch, you felt bad but the two artist were just happy that they could do this for you. As Chopper and Jinbe let the others in you sit down on the sofa next to Zoro who grabs wipes ready to get rid of the large patch while Sanji pulls Kuina onto his lap next to you wiping off the paint thats covering almost half her face. "That's it? a gray blob" Usopp comments looking thoroughly disappointed after all the hype it got while Robin lets out a chuckle already seeming to know what has happened "Judging by everyone covered in gray paint i think it just got smudged right?" The black haired woman smiles walking up to Chopper who hands her the photo of the finished painting before bringing it back to the others, Nami and Brook are quick to gasp already knowing what it is while the others tilt their heads in confusion. Letting out a laugh you lay your head on Zoro's shoulder as he continues to clean the gray mess on your belly "You two were right, it's a boy" Luffy and Usopp quickly look over at you then back to the photo letting their gears turn until it finally clicks "I told you so" The captain happily cheers hugging the sniper who happily hugs back while cheering as well.

----- Team 5, Kuina, Sanji and Zoro -----

Its the last day and even though your excited to see what your family has planned your also kinda sad its over so soon, the art work everyone has done has been amazing and the experience has been a whirlwind of emotions but above all you've felt so much love, seeing your crew so happy and invested in your children and family life has made any doubts about bringing another child into this world completely fade away. Walking into the aquarium bar with Zoro at your side your greeted by a sweet sight, Kuina and Sanji are mixing paints hoping to get the perfect shade of the color they want and testing it on each others skin, your daughter dips her finger into the light blue paint she's made and rubs it on the cooks cheek who lets out a small laugh as she examines it. The blondes cheeks are full of different shades of Pink's, blue's and light purple's making you hold back a laugh as to not disturb the moment, Zoro wraps an arm around your waist while shoving his head into your shoulder trying to hold back his own laugh "Perfect, we have all the shades now" Kuina gives a big smile while grabbing a damp cloth to help her daddy clean on his face "If i didn't know what you were doing i would say you look sick" Zoro chuckles walking you over to the two earning a growl and a glare from Sanji "Shut it moss head, i don't see you helping" The cook snaps but his expression softens when his daughter finishes cleaning his face for him giving her a thankful look and a small kiss on the cheek before glaring back at Zoro who helps you sit down on the sofa "Helping? While your getting your makeup done, i'm helping our girl get comfortable"

Quickly standing Sanji grabs the grinning swordsman by the Kimono pulling him closer to growl at it, the two bicker back and forth while Kuina hops off her chair and makes her way over with a piece of paper in her hands completely ignoring her two dads. "Even though we know it's a boy know i did say that no one can change their deigns so i hope it's ok that we're using pink" Your daughter looks down at the paper on her hands unsure of how to feel about this but you place a hand on her head giving her beautiful blonde hair a few strokes "What ever you make will be amazing, your so talented plus colors don't have to be gender specific." A smile forms on your daughters face as you pat the seat next to you, placing the paper aside so you can't see it the little girl hops up next to you as you grab a hair tie and start tying her hair up not wanting it to get to messy "Thanks Mama". After tying her hair up Kuina gives you a smile before wrapping her arms around you, hugging her back you place a tender kiss on her head while rubbing her back, the two of you stay like that for a while enjoying each others company and warmth all while Sanji and Zoro are still bickering, the two grabbing onto each other but soon turns flirtatious, both picking on each other while making cocky complements. With a sigh you pat Kuina's back before letter her go knowing you have to stop your partners before their cocky comments turn sexual "Sanji, Zoro, come on already i can't wait any longer" Your laugh and voice gets the two to look at you, Zoro's grip that was firmly around the cooks tie loosens while Sanji lets go of the swordsman's Kimono.

The cook glances at Zoro looking from the man to his tie then back to the man giving him a glare since the green haired man hasn't let go yet, with a cocky smile the swordsman leans closer placing a light kiss on the blondes lips before moving to his ear "We'll finish this later" Zoro whispers slowly pulling away and letting go of Sanji's tie before making his way over to you "I'll get the paints" Kuina happily cheers rushing over to the table and grabbing the plate of mixed paints and some paint brushes while Zoro leans over you running his hands over your clothed stomach before starting to lift up your shirt exposing the skin underneath "So beautiful" He whispers while bending down to place his lips on yours, reaching up you place a hand on his cheek letting your thumb run across his skin as his lips move with yours, Zoro's hands move your shirt up and under your breasts tucking it into the underside of your bar so it won't get paint on it. Slowly pulling away from the kiss the swordsman gives you a loving smile before looking down at your stomach letting his hands run over it while bending down further to place a kiss just above your belly button, the sight makes your heart pound in your chest while tears well up in your eyes knowing how much he loves you and his unborn baby boy. Sanji is snapped out of his flustered shock by Kuina who giggles while pulling on the arm of his jacket "You should really take this off dad, you'll get it dirty" The cook quickly looks down at his daughter than to his jacket managing to come back to reality "Thanks sweetie"

Taking off his jacket and putting it aside Sanji starts turning up the sleeves of his white button down shirt, it doesn't bother him it gets paint on it but it would mean less washing later. Kuina happily makes her way back over to the sofa sitting down next to you as Zoro steps away to take off the top part of his kimono, the little girl can't help but let out a laugh at your flustered face that goes much redder when Sanji walks over taking his black tie off "You two will be the death of me" It slips out before you can stop it causing a squeak to leave your lips as you slap a hand over your mouth, your partners let their grins widen while looking you over with loving and mischievous eyes while your daughter throws her head back on laughter. Throwing his tie to the side making it land on top of his jacket Sanji steps closer letting his hand run over your stomach "Oh my love, you flatter us too much" leaning down to your ear the cook places a kiss just under it as your body stiffens knowing he's going to say something that will make you even more flustered "But if that does happen, i will be more than happy to give you mouth-to-mouth" Your face blows up red as you slap his arm starting to stutter but unable to form a sentence trying to tell the cook to shut up, Sanji laugh while kissing your burning hot cheeks ignoring your halfhearted protests and light hits on his chest and arms. Luckily Kuina couldn't here what was said mainly because she's laughing too hard, it's always a joy to see you so flustered since it's a rare sight and its something over her farther's can achieve.

Zoro lets out a chuckle with a shake of his head while grabbing a plate of paints and a paint brush "Alright, lets get started" The swordsman states getting the rest of his family to calm down enough to start, using Kuina's drawing as a guide your daughter paints on your side while Sanji and Zoro work on the rest, the outline made it every clear what their making bringing a smile to your face, a giant ribbon and down cutting diagonal across your belly leaving a big gap on one side, your daughter kept stepping away once in a while to look at it from a different angle and some times going up to Zoro asking him to redo a line. The swordsman didn't mind since he knows he's not that good at drawing but would often grumble under his breath having to redo a line several times to get it the right way mainly being mad at himself, reaching your hand down while trying not to move too much you run your hand through his green hair helping to calm him down which he gives you a thankful look for. Sanji's lines are neat and tidy, but he would always have a damp cloth wrapped around one finger, so he can run it under the line he's made making sure its perfect. With the three focused on their work there isn't any kind of conversation leaving the room in a comfortable and relaxing silence other than a few words here and there and at least one of them checking to see if you need a break. It didn't take long for them to finish all three stepping back to admire their work "Its almost done" Kuina jumps a little with glee happy to see it looking just the way she wants it too.

A look of surprise crosses your face since it looks down to you "Really? It's already amazing" Your comment gets your daughter shaking her head while running over to the table and grabbing four different pastel colored paints, green, yellow, orange and purple. "Were gonna need your help for this one love" Sanji smirks holding his hands out for you to take as Zoro comes to your side the two helping you stand up, the swordsman stands behind you placing his chin on your shoulder placing kisses on your neck "Ok Dad is green and Daddy is yellow. Ready?" Kuina lifts up a paint brush covered in green paint, Zoro holds out one of his hands letting his daughter paint the palm of his hand as Sanji moves to stand behind you as well placing his chin on your other shoulder "What is going on?" You whisper but only earn a small laugh and a kiss on the cheek in response, once Zoro's hand is painted your daughter takes a different brush with yellow paint and starts painting Sanji's palm that the cook holds out for her "Don't worry baby, i know you'll love this" Zoro whispers placing a few more kisses on your neck which you lean into enjoying his touch "Ok make a heart" Kuina states putting the plate down before helping her farther's make a heart with their joined hands, she adjusts the thumbs to make it perfect before standing back to have a look. Leaning back into the two you can't help but smile now knowing what their doing, Zoro's other arm goes around Sanji's waist keeping you snug in between their arms all while trying not to smug their work since his arm is hovering over the painting on your belly.

Kuina moves her farther's hands into the perfect position before giving them a nod, In perfect unison your partners press their hands onto your belly and hold it there while peppering your cheeks and neck with kisses, lifting your hands up cup their cheeks pulling the two closer to you "You boys are too sweet" You giggle turning to look at Sanji who gives you a sweet loving look "Anything for you Mi Amour" The cook whispers his lips brushing against yours before locking fully, letting out a happy hum you lean into the kiss while stroking his cheek, after a few short kisses you turn to Zoro who has a smirk plastered on his face "I told you'd like it" Leaning in the two of you share a short kiss before fully locking lips hoping to draw the feeling of his lips against yours, as another happy hum leaves your lips the swordsman lets out a needy groan wanting more so you open your mouth a little, Zoro's tongue is quick to enter your mouth roaming around as your hand moves up to hair. Kuina lets out a sigh, she's glad that her parents are in love, but she doesn't want the art work to get ruined, the swordsman's arm is perfectly still but that might change if this goes on "You can move your hands now" Your daughter states managing to brake you and the green haired man apart giving the young girl a sorry look, slowly your partners lift their hands up and off your belly leaving perfect hand prints with their thumb and fingers making a heart in the middle, in the middle a strip of green and yellow meets blending together a little and making a very light lime color.

Zoro and Sanji give you one last Kiss on the cheek before stepping away to clean their hands while Kuina walks up to you getting a better look at the hand prints "This is an amazing idea, I'm guessing the next to paints are for me and you?" You ask getting your daughter to look up at you and nod "I know my hands a lot smaller, but we can make it work. I picked Purple for you and orange for me" The young girl picks up her plate again and grabs two more paint brushes showing you the colors, placing your hand on her head you ruffle her hair before offering your hand to her letting her paint your hand. As she paints you look over to your body's seeing Zoro cleaning up Sanji's hand with a damp cloth, the two don't speck but do share an intense loving look, the cooks the first to step closer placing a light kiss on the corner of the swordsman's lip earning a groan of annoyance from the man, with both their hands clean Zoro throws the cloth down on the table then grabs Sanji's shirt pulling him in before the blonde can react. Crashing his lips onto his partners the swordsman lets out a satisfied moan forcing his tongue into the cooks mouth who instantly gives up and melts into the kiss, his hands run up Zoro's arm and take the hand that is holding his shirt managing to pull it off and interlock their fingers. Your brought back to your daughter when she puts the paint brush down and turns to her dads going to ask for help painting her hand only to see the two kissing.

With another sigh she shakes her head "Dads please… Art first, kissing later" Letting out a laugh you watch your partners pull away and slightly pout at being scolded by their daughter, it's hard to say no to Kuina when she's so determined, so the two pull away from each other and walk over, Zoro takes the plate from his daughter and starts painting her hand while Sanji looks over your purple palm flashing you a sweet smile "That color suits you mi amour" The cook tucks some hair behind your ear while leaning in to give you a light kiss, you happily return it before looking back at Kuina who has now moves to your side, with the help of Zoro and Sanji you manage to make a heart despite the size difference, placing your hands on your stomach your daughter follows along as you wrap your arm around her shoulder keeping the little girl pressed to your side "Thank you sweetie, this was a great idea, I've had so much fun" The two of you smile at each other while pulling your hands off your belly leaving the art work complete. Kuina leaves your side to look at her work her smile bigger then ever as she bounces on her feet in happiness "It looks so good" She praises as Zoro chuckles lifting her up into the air and holding her close "Heck yea it is, my little artist" The swordsman nuzzles his daughters cheek before kissing it not caring that she's trying to push him away with a paint covered hand all while giggling her little head off. Sanji quickly grabs the camera taking a photo of your belly and placing it back on the side, so he can hold you, being careful of the arm work the cook holds you from the side wrapping his arms around your waist and under your belly while your hand comes up to meet his cheek so you can pull him into a kiss.

Zoro smirks at seeing the moment your having with the blonde cook so puts his daughter down and takes her hand "Come on lets get you cleaned up and then show the others" The swordsman states pulling her over to the painting table and grabbing another cloth to clean her hand off all while praising her work. With your lips locked with Sanji's you tilt your head back a little to get a better angle letting his tongue push into your mouth with no resistance, your tongues dance around each other as light hums and moans of happiness leave your lips, it warms your heart to feel how much love your family has for each other and the unborn baby boy they haven't even met yet, you can't ask for anything more. As you pull away Kuina flings the door open and yells out for the others that their finished, of course the first people to rush in are Chopper, Luffy and Usopp, your not sure if their excited to see the art or find out the results of the contest but it doesn't seem to both Kuina. "Arrr thats so cute" Chopper smiles looking up at your belly admiring your families work "I like the hand idea" Usopp comments patting your daughter on the head as she beams up with pride at the sniper. "Its simple but beautiful" Nami smiles walking in with the rest of the crew, Jinbe walks up to Kuina placing a hand on her shoulder with a proud smile "you have an amazing talent young lady, keep it up" His praise makes her eyes sparkle with glee her pride in her and her parents work growing by the second. "Perfectly gift wrapped, how thoughtful" Robin giggles making some of the others laugh too including you and Zoro, the swordsman grabs your book and pen handing it over to you while Kuina hands out pieces of paper and pens to the crew "I can't believe this is the last one, its gone so quick" Franky chuckles after writing on his paper and handing it to Sanji as Zoro helps you sit back down.

Once everyone has scored the last piece of work you add it all together in your book before pulling out a small envelope from another page "Do we get a prize?" Luffy, Usopp and Franky all yell their eyes shining like starts making you giggle even though your feeling a little bad "No, I'm sorry, there's are just my scores, I've been writing them down and put them in here so i'm not tempted to change my own scores, I've forgotten what I've put down already" The three pout only to be slapped across the head by Nami, placing her hands on her hips the navigator scolds them for not noticing, you never told anyone what you were doing but the others could guess since you didn't hide it. With all your scores down and Robin calming Nami down the crew looks to you for the verdict, reading through the scores you can't help but let out a laugh at how things ended up "The winners are Chopper and Jinbe while the rest of you all come in second" A large smile grows on your face as you turn your book around to show them the page, everyone is tied expect for the winner who won by 4 point. There's a collective "What?" full of different emotions, happiness, disbelief and confusion "I can't believe we won" Chopper cheers as Kuina tackles him in a hug the two laughing and cheering as Zoro picks the two up kissing the tops of their heads "Great Job Chopper and thanks again.. Thanks you too Jinbe" The swordsman puts the two down before turning to the large fish man who rubs the back of his head "Oh it was all Choppers idea" Sanji shakes his head placing a hand on Jinbe's shoulder "Still thank you, it means a lot"

Nodding you give Jinbe a smile agreeing with your boys, what they did was beyond sweet and thoughtful, you got to see your baby before it was even born and find out the gender something you couldn't do with Kuina, speaking of the young girl she walks over to you her hand gripping onto Choppers "I'm glad you liked it but i'm sorry you guys didn't win" The doctor gulps feeling a little bad about it but Kuina shakes her head and takes your hand with a big smile "I didn't really care if we won or not, it was really fun and made this week at sea go bay really fast… Did you enjoy it mama, it wasn't too much was it?" Your daughter asks with sudden concern, squeezing her hand you lean closer placing a kiss on her head "I loved every second of it and even though your baby brother was a little fussy at times i think he enjoyed it too" Patting the seats next to you the two hop up cuddling into your sides, your arms wrap around them holding the two close as Kuina places her hand over her hand print on your belly "I'm glad, i can't wait to meet him" Your little girl whispers, kissing the top of her head you nuzzle into her feeling your heart swell with happiness and love only for the moment to be broken by Luffy's loud yelling "I want a rematch" Zoro, Sanji and a slightly stressed out Franky who's going over your scores are quick to look at their captain with a glare "No way" The three yell in unison making Luffy groan with a big pout before flopping onto the sofa away from you, he looks up at the three with puppy dog eyes trying his best to get them to agree like how they do with Kuina, letting out a laugh your soon joined by the two at your sides and a few other crew members as the three groan trying to ignore their pouting captain.

[hils79]

Hils Watches Tibetan Sea Flower - Ep 4

Now that I'm back at work I won't be able to watch as quickly as I did yesterday but I think after this week the release schedule is meant to slow down a bit. We'll see how we get on.

Wait, how many years are we talking?

Is this the first time we've seen Wu Yiqiong in a drama?

Ah, we're back to new young Wu Xie again

Ooh a new Wu Sanxing too

So Wu Laolou says he must be cremated within 2 hours of his death, no one should be 30 meters or less away from the cremator and no one must look inside the cremator after he's been cremated. Did he...swallow something?

Oh no I know exactly what this is. Fuck, I'm tearing up already

IS THE STATUE CRYING?? 😭

For some extra knives in the novel Wu Xie runs to this statue when his life is in danget because he feels safer with Xiaoge nearby even if it's just a statue of him

Of course everyone wants to marry Pangzi. And we all know he's doing to drop everything if Wu Xie needs him.

And of course Wu Xie knows that Pangzi would drop everything for him so he pretends that everything is fine. I AM DEEP INTO MY PANGXIE FEELS ALREADY AND THEY HAVEN'T EVEN HAD SCREENTIME YET

Honestly I'm amazed it's taken 4 episodes for Wu Xie to figure out this is a trap. And he didn't even figure it out, Pangzi did and he's not even there.

I love Pangzi so much!

Yep there we go. From 'I'm happy where I am because everyone wants to marry me' to 'stay put I'm coming to get you' in the space of 5 mins

He's so happy that Pangzi is coming for him 🥺

Of course Wu Xie has decided to try and befriend the one woman in this place who looks like she wants to kill him by stepping on him. He has a type and that type is women who could snap him like a twig.

You can definitely tell this is towards the end of Sha Hai era Wu Xie from the way he's meticulously setting traps and cataloguing the fingerprints of suspects. This is a man who has worked hard to wipe out an entire clan to keep Xiaoge safe

Man who frequently has hot women trying to kill him is surprised to learn that a hot woman is trying to kill him

Has he seriously got an internet connection in a monestary at the top of a mountain?

I recognise that voice. And that walk. OMG it's finally happening.

CHEN MINGHAO MY BELOVED!!!! I legit just started crying because I am a huge loser. I HAVE MISSED HIM SO MUCH 😭

LMAO Wu Xie's face! But...um...okay, there's a thing in the novel that I kind of assumed wouldn't make it into the drama but now I'm not so sure...

Oh thank god! So, in the novel they first start off by communicating via Pangzi writing messages on the toilet stall wall in his own shit. When he talked about having diarrhoea I had a brief moment of terror that they were going to go there 😅 NPSS really does like to include gross stuff involving bodily fluids in his novels

God look at him

I'm such an idiot I know who this is and I still gasped when someone with Wu Xie's face showed up unexpectedly. I won't spoil it for those who haven't read the novel

There we go! That's the Wu Xie I've been waiting to see!

Now the two Wu Xies are bickering. Where's my popcorn?

Still not used to this drama actually having a budget. Where are the wonky special effects?

I hope the bickering continues for a while this is fun

Human skin mask my beloved plot device

IS THAT ZHU YILONG'S FACE???

[shine-reblogs]

I've started reading the Odyssey because of EPIC and here go some of the thoughts I've been having while reading because I just realised I could annoy you all with them xD

(you're gonna get the first several chapters/books in a pack because I started doing this late lol)

Books I-IV

-"Oh, Muses, tell us the story of the man who [insert half the stuff that happens to Odysseus]" this would give a heart attack to people who change the plot when the audience can guess it lmaooo

-Gods why is this written using so much archaic language

-Why are all the gods so afraid of going against Poseidon? They literally go "we all love Odysseus, but Poseidon hates him so... Quick! Let's help Odysseus while the god is away at Ethiopia!" Like, couldn't you take him? (In a fight)

-Every time someone is mentioned they use an epithet, adjective, or short description (which was probably more cool in ancient greek and with the story recited/sung along music, but right now it's only low-key annoying)

-Misogyny is in the air~

-Why every time someone's mentioned they have to tell me their whole lineage? I forgot what we were talking about by the time they're done

-Woe! Infodumping be upon ye!

-Seriously if I wrote some of this stuff today my writing teachers would have critiqued the shit out of it lol

-Some literary devices that make sense for poetry are so not working for the translated version, where it reads as weird and annoying purple prose

-Like the constantly repeating structures and even whole sentences

-Everyone is said to 'resemble the gods'. At this point this sentence has lost all meaning by how much it's repeated

-Omg who snitched about Penelope's ruse with weaving by day and unweaving by night to the suitors?! And why?! (I guess for more drama)

Books V-VIII

-After 4 books/chapters I'm starting to get used to the archaic language, but I still have to read some sentences several times in a 'I understand every word individually but wtf does this mean?' situation sometimes

-Also, I just realised I was reading a century old translation, so I tried switching into a more recent one... and was disappointed to find it's still written in archaic language with minimal improvement

-Omg we're finally getting to Odysseus!! Starting by him leaving Ogigia

-Athena is actually playing a very active role, although she doesn't dare manifest to Odysseus because what if Poseidon notices

-Odysseus covering his junk with a branch/some leaves (because he came out of the sea butt naked) before approaching people for help was not on my bingo card

-Like. This moment is kinda funny knowing he will fight the suitors completely naked later lmao

-No, Odysseus, don't start eating and drinking a lot and quickly after days of fasting, you will upset your stomach!

-They just told me the names of everyone running out the palace to participate in the games and I haven't processed a single one of them lol

-"Eh tú, pringao, a que no hay huevos a participar en los juegos?" "Que no qué, panda de niñatos?!"

-Sorry for switching to spanish, I had to xD (also, if things were actually translated using that kind of language I would be so much more into the story lmao)

-(btw a rough translation would be: "hey, you loser! I bet you don't have the balls to join the games!" "I don't what now, you brats?!")

More in the reblogs, I will link to the final version here once I finish reading and sharing my thoughts about it xD

Here it is

[sam-keeper]

The Black Cat (1934)

I came to The Black Cat through cartoons: Norman M Klein's 7 Minutes is a history of american theatrical animation--particularly its decline and fall, which he blames in part on the Hays Code. For Klein, while the code itself was never imposed upon animation studios directly as a tool of censorship, it encouraged economic censorship, which imposed a new orderly world upon cartoons. Anyway, I finished the book as we prepared our list for the year's halloween marathon, and it prompted me to look into pre-Code horror. Just what were black and white horror films like before industry leaders brought the hammer of censorship down on the medium?

Enter The Black Cat, in which Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff face off as old friends turned mortal enemies, with the souls of a couple of dopey American tourists as prize in their deadly game. I fell in love with the film before even watching because I located a clip of one of the bonkers early reveals in the film and instantly latched onto the interplay between Lugosi and Karloff. Lugosi is searching for his lost wife, who he thinks Karloff has spirited away. Karloff finally relents and says he will take Lugosi to see her, bringing him deep into the derelict military fort he has built his home on. There he reveals Lugosi's wife, dead, suspended by the hair in a glass coffin. "I wanted to have her beauty always," Karloff intones.

Hell. Yes. This is everything I wanted from "pre-Code horror". And the rest of the film does not disappoint for insanity. Oh, sure, the "suggested by" in "suggested by a story by Edgar Allen Poe" tells you how faithful to literary classics it is, and its own plot is a bit scattershot and nonsensical. But while it doesn't show a lot of shocking gore on screen, it's not really short on depravity, and watching Lugosi and Karloff play off each other is delightful.

I think it's easy to write this era of horror off as well trodden cliches, and rather tame approaches to the ghastly and ghoulish. I fully expected the film to take place in a haunted eastern european satanic castle, for example. Certainly the foundation of the set fits that description: as I've noted already, the basement of Karloff's manor is an abandoned fort in which hundreds of men died during the First World War due to his machinations. Atop the ruin, however, perches the architect Karloff's brilliant modernist manor, a gleaming Bauhaus facility. Why, even the chamber where he does rituals in praise to Satan with other european perverts is in gorgeous art deco style! The film suggests that all this modernity is just the new face of very old demons and horrors (a more astute insight than maybe the film's creators were consciously going for). For its occasional choppiness and dated mannerisms, the sheer weirdness of this film is well worth seeing for yourself, even if it necessitates getting over the hurdle of our popular perception of this era's films. And what of the Code? The juxtaposition of modernist brilliance and depravity drives the film, and it's hard to imagine it having the same impact with, say, a competent police force, or no suggestion of Karloff's sexual predation. Horror films, it turns out, don't get better when you strip them of all menace and render them less deathly, more deathly dull.

And if that's not enough, I'll tell you that one of the diabolical duo--I won't reveal which one!--strings the other up on a torture device, rips off his shirt, and--no, I shan't say. It's simply too depraved. You'll have to see for yourself... if you dare!

Read more horror reviews all month for Halloween on my Patreon

[cahmilo]

dumping another request here, but this time with camilo and its also fluffy fluff fluff

Camilo x Fem!Reader where they're aged up (however you like it) and reader is babysitting dolores' "kid" until dolores walks in with her actual kid and and camilo kisses the reader on the lips and runs away shapeshifting into his original self LMAO

(you decide if its established relationship, or friends to lovers thing as long as its fluffy i'll take it LMAO)

Doppelganger ㅡ camilo m.

pairing: aged up camilo madrigal x female reader

genre: fluffy fluff fluff

word count: 3120

tags: mutual pining, shapeshifter camilo, babysitter reader, post-canon encanto

summary: camilo madrigal isn't exactly the confident and cocky boy everyone knew about. sure, he's had his boastful and proud moments but when it comes to his liking for a particular girl in town, well.... let's just say he tries. this time though, he devices a plan to hog her attention for a day.

a/n: MOCHIE all ur reqs are amazing i swear <33 also i hope u dont mind i changed some of the ending cause i saw fanart w similar plot as this so i decided to make it different lol

Knock Knock Knock 

Camilo opened his eyes, disrupting himself from his dream as the knocking become louder. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes with a yawn. In contrary to the 'sunshine boy' everyone sees him to be, he was unfortunately not a morning person. It would take a few more knocks to fully wake the shapeshifter of the Madrigals, and this was the fourth time. 

Having little to no energy, he stood up and made his bed. There was no way he would be able to fall back asleep anytime soon, for the entire town is awake and chattering with their own respective chores. Camilo can faintly hear voices outside his room, probably from his family yelling for their chores every morning before breakfast. 

Footsteps trudging, he leaves his bed all while constantly yawning. He needs the daily arepas to fully awaken the boy, which is the only reason why he looked forward to morning, specifically for breakfast. 

Yawning once more, he contemplated going back to sleep. Yesterday's event of Mirabel's birthday had him completely knocked out, probably drank and danced too much for his liking. 

His half-lidded eyes refused to stay up. Again, he desperately needed some substance or food to bring him out of dreamland, something that would energize him, something that would make him feel-

"Good Morning, Y/N!" Camilo heard his father's voice from the outside balcony, footsteps getting faster like she was running somewhere.

His eyes immediately shot up as soon as he heard your name. 

Turns out, it was enough to fully wake him. 

Figuring that you were in the Casita early in the morning, Camilo then dashed all the way to the house's shared restroom, freshening himself up and making himself look presentable.

Oh shoot, I forgot the curling gel in my room! He muttered a curse as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his hair was a frizzy mess and he needed to get that fixed ASAP. Immediately he rushed out to run to his room, but unluckily for him, he almost bumped into you who was not watching where you were going.

With a yelp, he halted from his tracks sighing as he didn't get to crash into you. Looking up, he froze at the close proximity. You were literally right there in front of him, giggling at his panicked state.

"Bad hair day?" You asked, holding back a laugh. Camilo silently cursed himself before regaining his composure as he stood up and playfully rolled his eyes at you. "Tell me about it." He scoffed.

You ruffled his hair, further making it worse while he swats your hands away and whines. "Stop! I was on my way to fix it!" You let out a hearty laugh and unknowingly making Camilo's heart do constant backflips from your voice. 

"If you want I can help you style your hai-" "Oh I know that mischievous grin, hermosa. You're definitely doing anything but styling it." Camilo interrupted you, raising his eyebrows. Yep, he sees through you. You can only give out a sigh and slumped your shoulders while pouting and he pinches your cheeks. 

"Okay, not that I don't mind but you're not usually here early in the morning" Camilo trailed off, leaning on the balcony rails while looking at you.  

You mimicked his actions, leaning on the rails while facing down to the ground floor, motioning to the family downstairs preparing for breakfast. "Senor Felix called me, he wants me to babysit Manuel this afternoon cause Dolores and the rest of the family are busy."

Oh. Camilo thought. Not, surprised, you were the town's second babysitter after Camilo. In times where he is extra busy, you were the one that took over. It was also probably what made you and Camilo closer. Oftentimes you would babysit children together and you both enjoyed it.

"I feel betrayed that she didn't ask me to babysit my nephew." Camilo dramatically exclaimed, putting a palm in his chest to further prove his nonexistent point. This only made you laugh at him again.

"Maybe I'm just better." You smirked. "I'm like that calm wife that tries to keep their baby away from trouble" 

"Oh, dropping the 'wife' word are we? Does that mean I would be the husband?" Camilo flirts, leaning more towards you who had a dead-panned look. 

Two can play at this game. You grinned. Playing along with his antics, you leaned closer as well, putting your hand on top of his which was resting on the balcony handles. "Well..." You whispered in a low voice. Camilo's breath hitched, not fully expecting you to flirt back. 

"- in your dreams, Madrigal" You exclaimed playfully, pulling away and booping his nose. Camilo scrunched his face and then pouted. "You're mean-"

"Breakfast in 10 minutes!" Abuela Alma's voice echoed through the house, abruptly interrupting you and Camilo's moment. 

"Well, you have 10 minutes to fix your hair, hermoso" You snapped back to reality, ruffling his hair to mess it up again making Camilo groan. You turned your heel as you turned away, strutting to leave before he calls you back.

"Not even a goodbye kiss for your husband?" You froze. So much for the flirting earlier... 

Turning back, you rolled your eyes and walked back closer to him and seeing his smug smile. Thinking hastily, you aimed to fluster him as you cup his cheeks and planted a kiss on the corner of his mouth, barely leaving enough space closer to his soft lips. Pulling away, you laughed out loud seeing his gaping face, oh you definitely flustered him. He was frozen like a statue. You pat his cheeks twice and snapped him back to reality. 

"8 minutes, Camilo." You turned around and left confidently, even flipping your hair as you walked out. Camilo however, lagged for a good minute before he ran back to his room while screaming internally. 

—

"Hello? Earth to Camilo!" A waving hand snapped the boy from his thoughts, jolting up and slightly shaking his head. Quickly realizing that he spaced out, he looked around only to find the entire family in the dining table staring at him weirdly while Mirabel was snapping her fingers in front of his face. 

"Are you okay, hijo?" Pepa asked worriedly, putting a hand on her son's head, patting it slightly with pursed lips. Camilo reassured her, "I'm fine, mami. I was just thinking"

"What were you thinking of?" "Uhh"

"It's not a what" Dolores suddenly squeaked. "It's a who, that he was thinking about." 

"NO!" Camilo exclaimed, hastily shaking his open palms to the rest of the family. "It was nothing, really"

"Was it Y/N?" 

"MIRABEL!" Camilo yelled even louder. Sighing in defeat, he bumped his head down to the table, making Mirabel let out a fit of laughter after exposing him. "I knew it!" 

Camilo grabbed the hems of the openings of his ruana, bringing it up to his face to cover his blushing cheeks. That didn't stop his family from teasing, though. Even early in the morning, the Madrigal were always giddy and loud. 

"Okay, okay that's enough!" Pepa said in between cackles after seeing her son sinking into the chair, almost out of sight from the dining table. "But speaking of Y/N, why don't you let Camilo tell her, amor?" Camilo looked up to see his mom motioning to his dad. "Let me tell what?" 

"Oh" Felix let out a cough, fixing his posture. "Change of plans, Y/N isn't babysitting Manuel cause Dolores left him with Mariano for the day. You should drop by and tell her instead. Maybe even make a move." He whispered the last part, only Camilo and Pepa heard it.

Like a meerkat, Camilo popped up from the chair, sitting straight and fixing his ruana before putting out a shy smile. "Okay, papa. I'll tell her" He lied.

Little did they all know, that he too, had a change of plans. 

Camilo smirked and continued his meal, while having his palm resting on his cheek nearer to the side of the lips were you just kissed. Sighing in relief that his family no longer had their attention on him, he daydreamed again, thinking of you.

—

"Dolores?" Your voice echoed through the walls of Casita as you opened the door, letting yourself in. Upon stepping into the entrance, Casita happily welcomed you by shaking its tiles, making you let out a laugh as you patted the walls. Figuring that the girl with enhanced hearing didn't even hear you, you figured that she was just in her magical soundproof room. 

So, you just let yourself in to the empty house. You were practically family at this point, Casita even trusted you enough. 

Humming a soft song, you opened Dolores' door, only to find it calm and tranquil. She wasn't there either, maybe she already left. You thought to yourself, walking towards the nursery to find Manuel. Putting slight knocks at the door startled the one inside, when you softly opened the door, you saw a small figure lying in the crib. 

"Hola, nuelito!" You hummed softly, approaching the 1-year old boy. He was awake, and rolling around the crib. How odd, you thought. You expected the little boy to be still and calm, like her mother. 

"Extra happy today, are we?" Digging your hands to the crib, you lifted the small boy, a tiny laugh emitting from its tiny mouth while you giggled at his cuteness. Another odd thing you noticed?

The boy ran straight to your arms and buried himself in your embrace.

If there was one thing you knew about little Manuel, was that he is an exact carbon copy of her mother. Like Dolores, he was calm and quiet. Not too touchy, not too clingy, and not even too giddy. All the more reason you wondered why he was so different today, and it clicked you.

"Look at you, spending too much time with your mama's hermano" You lightly booped the child's nose. "You're starting to be as loud and clingy as your Tio Milo." 

You ruffled the boy's hair as you set him down to Mirabel's bed. Watching over as to not make him fall off, you carefully sifted through the drawers at Manuel's side of the room, making a bottle of powdered milk formula for him to drink. Glancing occasionally at the little boy, you observed his mannerisms. You thought that he spent too much time with Camilo to the point where they somehow act alike. Manuel would sway side to side, sneeze at random times, and laugh every now and then. You found it adorable and immediately imagined what Camilo would look like spending time with his nephew, probably spoiling him a lot. Your heart fluttered, falling for the guy more. 

As you finished the baby bottle, you shook it before giving it to him. His tiny hands gripped your fingers and your heart melted at how cute the boy was. His eyes similar to Dolores' and his hair like Mariano's, oh Manuel got the good genes. 

You crawled on to Mirabel's bed and fiddled with the story books she made, reading one out loud out of boredom while Manuel finishes drinking. He eventually crawled next to you, looking at the colorful pictures that Mirabel drew. Your smile couldn't leave your face, he was the cutest kid you've ever seen. 

After a long day of watching over Manuel, it soon hit afternoon, almost dark. Cradling the boy in your arms, you hummed a song to make him sleep, but it wasn't working. Manuel kept crawling all and around, eventually yelling and blabbering random words as he kept throwing himself to you. It lowkey took you by surprise, since you thought the boy was not used to physical contact but you thought otherwise. Oftentimes, he would kiss you. In the forehead, cheeks, nose. Sometimes you thought that Manuel probably mistook you for his mother, but it was unlikely, Dolores and you looked too different. 

After carrying the boy in your arms and swaying side-to-side, he eventually dozed off to sleep. You sighed in happiness, finally you can get a break. Putting him in the crib and wrapping the blanket around him to keep the child still, you wiped a bead of sweat from your forehead as you slowly opened the door and went down to the kitchen. Dolores was about to come back any time soon, so you waited while munching on an arepa. 

You heard the door click and Casita's tiles shaking loudly. Finally.

"Hola, Dol"  You greeted her. If the afternoon wasn't odd enough, she was acting weird too. Having seen her purse her lips so hard as if she's hiding a laugh, you found it questionable but then shrugged it off. She greeted you back, grabbing a snack like you did.

"Okay, was it just me or did Manuel suddenly get weirdly clingy?" You asked, wiping your cheek still filled with sweat mixed with saliva from the sleeping kid. "I thought you raised him that he doesn't trust strangers that easily. Or did he just magically warm up to me?"

"Huh?" Dolores asked. "I don't understand."

"Manuel? Your quiet kid that oddly kept clinging onto me? I took care of him since lunch like your papi asked me to"

"Y/N," Dolores squeaked with a hint of laughter evident from her shaking shoulders. 

"What?"

"Manuel was with Mariano the entire afternoon." Dolores blurted out, still holding back a laugh. You raised your eyebrow, pointing upstairs. 

"But he was just upstairs? And he was sleeping-" You paused.

You quickly pieced everything together. Dolores giggling, 'Manuel' being too touchy to your liking, the fact that the real Manuel was in fact with Mariano the whole time, the fact that there was a doppelganger, and most especially the fact that there is a certain Madrigal kid that can shapeshift perfectly, 

"Oh god I just babysat Camilo"

—

Quickly, you ran upstairs to the nursery after hearing enough teasing from Dolores who heard everything the entire time. Footsteps getting heavier, you slammed the door open, only to reveal that the crib was now empty. 

"Camilo Madrigal" You muttered under your breath. 

Changing paths, you stormed off to his room, not even bothering to knock. Kicking it open, you were welcomed by a large dome of a yellow blanket. Walking towards it and lifting it off, you found the panicked shapeshifting Madrigal, hastily waving his arms and covering his face.

"I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT- AAAA" Camilo kept screaming as you chased him around the Casita. He knew it was one of the biggest pranks he's ever done, and you being the most gullible out of all his victims, he was both proud and terrified. 

Running after him around the hallways, you screamed too. "COME BACK HERE YOU B-" You got cut off-

-by Casita who's had enough. Lifting the entire floorboard into wave-like figures, Casita dragged you and Camilo back to his room and slammed the door close. Being in close proximity to him, you gripped on the collar of his top and glared at him in the eyes while he widened his, profusely sweating in his entire face. 

"What kind of sick joke are you playing, Madrigal?" You leaned in closer, squinting your eyes while you observed him being both scared and flustered. You were having fun teasing him at this point, you were just putting an act. 

"I- I- It was a joke!" He rambled, shaking eyes not leaving yours. "And, Dolores had nothing to do with it! I was supposed to tell you but I forgot!"

"Did you really?" You tested him. Letting go of your grip on him, he finally took the chance to look at everything else but you. 

The silence and lack of answer was enough for you to figure everything out. You knew that him being extra clingy wasn't a friendly gesture, and hell, going as far as to shapeshift into his nephew just to hog all your attention? You knew his pranking tendencies for fun, but this wasn't it. He wanted to see something else for this one. 

"You know..." You spoke once more, cutting off the tense atmosphere between you two. "If you wanted to spend an afternoon with me that badly, you could have just asked." 

Camilo finally looked at you, his gaze no longer terrified but nervous. He was blinking repeatedly, thinking of what else to say. 

"I- I couldn't" 

"Aw, come on. You knew me for how many years yet you couldn't even get the nerves to ask me out?" 

"Shut up" Camilo grumbled, gripping the edges of his ruana and fiddled with the material. You took notice, and decided to grab his hands and interlace it with yours, taking him by surprise.

"Just say, 'Y/N, the most perfect flower in this entire Encanto-"

"Yeah nice try plagiarizing Mariano's words" Camilo laughed, slightly flattered that your joke eased the tension for a bit. He was lucky, you knew him that well to help him become more comfortable and he loved that. 

"Okay fine, say 'Y/N, I wanna spend an afternoon with you, as me, Camilo Madrigal" 

"Too formal-" "Stop being too choosy! Do it yourself then, show me what you got"

"Okay" Camilo took a deep and long breath. And like his personality took a 180 degree turn, he suddenly looked flirty and cocky. The sudden switch in his behavior made you more attracted to him for some reason.

"Y/N, you were right, I should have asked when I want to spend an afternoon with you, so let me ask again properly"

"Go on,"

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you" Camilo blurted out, eyes staring intensely at yours. Your jaw dropped.

"Nah you're bluffing" You joked, trying out something risky but all the while worth it.

Camilo snickered. "Stop ruining the moment I swear to God-"

You suddenly cut him off by crashing your lips to his. 

Lowkey, you smiled through the kiss when you felt his lips move against yours. Your plan on catching him by surprise definitely worked. Camilo kissed you back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulled you even closer, nearly bumping his torso to yours. You, in return tangled your hands in his curls, lightly raking them after hearing him groan through your lips. You smirked as you deepened the kiss, feeling the heat in your cheeks get even more intense the longer Camilo remains in your grasp. 

Pulling away only due to the lack of breath, both of you gaze at each other and for the first time in ever, not a hint of mischief was in either of your eyes.

"Sorry, what did you say about me ruining the moment?" You asked innocently, battling your eyelashes as he scoffs. 

"Oh, shut up" He mumbled, leaning in once more for a quick peck on your lips. You laughed, grabbing a handful of his hair to pull and kiss him once more. 

taglist: @thegirlwiththebangs, @mirabelleza, @carcat-02, @brushofease, @camilos-luna, @kitasgloves, @ducky-is-dead-inside, @elegantkidfansoul, @moon-cakiie, @ignoremepeople37, @its-mia88, @nerdish-simp, @foreverwriting

thumbnail made by the artists of purrfect tale

[wintershades]

Finally picked an excerpt to share from my forthcoming Fjorester royalty AU. :)

In short: Jester creates a checklist of trope-themed prompts to "keep them in character" as they fake-date. (Truthfully, she just wants the full romancing-a-prince experience.)

So, here’s our favorite half-orc trying to make sense of a classic plot device—and just. not. getting it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fjord regarded The List as he usually did: at arm’s length and with a great deal of skepticism.

He and Jester sat in a public garden of the Crescents—him with his coffee, and her with some elaborate fruit-and-sweet-cream concoction that she claimed to be breakfast-appropriate. She gazed at him, taking slow sips and occasionally emerging with whipped topping on her nose.

It was Fjord’s turn to pick a prompt, and it felt like navigating a minefield.

Sure, Intimate Healing had been pleasant enough. But Slow Burn sounded like some manner of horrific torture, and when he’d asked what Green-Eyed Dragon meant, Jester had only waggled her eyebrows.

And as for Undying Love? . . . That shit was concerning.

“All right,” he finally said, pointing to the page. “I guess this one seems painless?”

Jester gasped aloud. “Oh man, that is the best trope,” she exclaimed, and she began to bounce in her seat. “Let me fill you in! There are these two people—”

“Intriguing.”

“Shush! Now, listen. There are these two people, and they’re kind of—you know—into each other.” Jester shimmied her shoulders, making her tattoo catch the light. “But maybe they haven’t admitted it to themselves yet? . . . Or they’re afraid to ruin the friendship? . . . Anyhow, there’s some serious sexual tension happening, okay.”

“Okay?” said Fjord.

The tiefling paused, looking left and right. Then she reached out, grasped Fjord’s arms, and drew him toward her. They leaned in together over the table as if they were conspiring over a plot.

Which, in a way, they were.

Jester’s voice went low. Her body, still.

“So, these two people end up traveling together,”—her eyebrows went up—“and they stop at an inn,”—her grip on him tightened—“and they decide . . . to share a room. But when they go inside, that’s when they find out—”

“Oh, no. Don’t tell me.”

“—There is Only One Bed,” Jester whispered with great gravity.

A long silence followed. Their faces were very close. If he was inclined to, Fjord could count the shades of violet in the tiefling’s eyes or find a constellation in the freckles that were dusted across her cheekbones. On earlier occasions, he’d already numbered a few.

But this time, Fjord became distracted by the press of Jester’s teeth against her bottom lip—and he remembered how she’d kissed him a few days before, when they’d attended the world’s most intense tea party. They were under the scrutiny of the Myriad, for fuck’s sake. It shouldn’t feel so comfortable playing the “established relationship.”

Walking hand in hand.

Teasing one another.

Casually stealing a kiss, as Jester had from him—and how Fjord could now, if he dared to use their game as an excuse. Because that’s all this was: An elaborate ruse. Nothing more than—

“One bed!” Jester repeated, startling him back to awareness, “and two people!”

“Yes, but— . . . couldn’t someone sleep on the floor?”

The tiefling nodded. “One of them usually offers to! Then the other person says, ‘No, no, don’t do that. You can just sleep here. It’s fine.’” She sighed and pulled on his sleeve. “But—oh, Fjord. It’s not fine! They have feelings.”

Fjord held his tongue. Personally, if he was faced with such a dilemma, he’d head to the nearest stable and find a pile of hay—but he probably shouldn’t admit as much. Fortunately for him, Jester was already chattering on again.

Because this trope could get even better.

“Sometimes, one of the characters has an emotional awakening as they’re lying there,” Jester was saying. She fell back in her seat, clutching at her heart. “They do that thing where they freeze and go: ‘Oh. Oh.”

“. . . Oh, what?”

Jester dug her fingers into her hair. “You don’t know about ‘oh,’ either?” she said in despair. “Don’t you read?”

“Naval histories don’t really feature that sort of . . . ‘plot.’”

“None of them do?”

“None that I’ve read,” Fjord replied, and Jester’s expression turned solemn.

“—There is Only One Hammock.”

“That is genuinely never the case,” Fjord reassured her. Now he sat back, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Sure. One bed. But what will this involve for us, exactly?”

Jester seemed to already be contemplating the question. There was a distant look of excitement in her eyes; within a moment, she turned her gaze back to Fjord. Then, she said the most terrifying thing he could possibly imagine.

“Slumber party!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[petboymart]

puppyboy miya twins x puppy reader

hello!!! it is the 7th where i am, which means its my birthday, so i wanted to post something! there is no smut it this (yet ;)) but i have a problem of writing so much fucking plot. BUT i prommyyyyy smut is to come, so enjoy a little world building and twin banter! 

you were a stray puppy, wandering around after your last owners moved and left you behind. you didn't really understand it, but you knew that they left you and you were lonely. after a couple days of wandering, a truck stopped by the tree you were hiding under and two men got out of the car. the one with white hair and black ends held out his hand with a treat in it to get you to come out, and after a few minutes of gentle noises and soft voices, you decided to accept the treat. when you emerged from the bush, the other man with a darker complexion stuck his hand out for you to sniff. your tail began to wag and you happily accepted pets from both men as they talked above you. 

"i thought that they would take their dog with them." 

"nah, i don't think they had the space in their new home, especially since they're gettin' ready for that new baby."

"still no excuse to leave a puppy behind…"

"yeah…. do you think Tsumu and Samu would play nice?"

"depends what ya consider of them bein' nice… we should probably take them to the doctor on the way home."

"so we're keeping them?" 

"...yeah, ya know i can't say no to you and a pair of puppy eyes."

you didn't understand all of the words they were saying, but you did understand what 'keep' and doctor meant. while you weren't exactly happy about going to a doctor's office, your puppy brain was more fixated on the idea of having a home with people who loved you again.

the two men helped you onto the bench seat of then truck, then drove you towards the hybrid specialist they knew and went to for the other puppys they had back home. and other than being slightly skinner than normal, the only thing that concerned your new owners was the reaction that their puppies Atsumu and Osamu would have when you got home. the twins weren't used to being around other petboy or girls (or other), other than the farm catboy that lived on the orchard down the street from the rice farm. but they both reasoned that Tsumu and Samu were sweet puppies, and as long as they made sure to keep an eye on the three of you for the first couple days, it would all be fine.

once the three of you got to the rice farm, the man with the duo colored hair took you upstairs for a bath and some new clothes. you were washed and changed, then given a red bandana that wrapped around your neck as a substitute collar. then you were sort of turned loose to your own devices and spent the rest of the day exploring the farm. it was mostly fields of rice for miles and miles, but there was one old barn building off in the distance from the porch of the house. being a curious little puppy, you immediately set off for the old building, looking for hiding and even possible nap spots in your new home.

the old wooden door was slightly ajar and you bounded in, eyes wide in curiosity as you took in your surroundings. the barn was mostly open, with a couple of stalls that once could've held cows or horses but were now empty. there was loft above your head full of hay and what looked to be a fluffy rug or something.

"is someone up there?" you called out, wondering if the blanket was actually an animal. someone popped up, and for a second your brain lagged behind, thinking you were seeing double. after a few moments, you remembered that the men that brought you home had mentioned two names and it clicked in your brain. "oh, you're twins!"

the puppyboy on the right with golden hair laughed, then smirked down at you.

"smart puppy, huh?" his tone wasn't mocking but it still sent a shiver down your spine.

"lay off, Tsumu, not everyone expects for there to be two of the same face." his brother's hair was parted in the opposite direction, but seemed to be a more natural black color.

"shuddup, Samu, i know that!" Tsumu shoved his twin against the shoulder before looking back down at you. "ya lost or something?"

"not anymore," you replied, "the man with the black and white hair said that they were gonna keep me around!"

"figures," samu snorted, stretching his back by tilting down, "kita's always had a big heart"

"don't be mean samu!" "i'm not!" the two boys seemed to bicker back and forth up in the hayloft, and you took a moment to really look at them. they were both handsome, strong puppyboys that seemed to be around the same age as you. and like you, they both had red bandanas tied around their necks in place of a collar you knew some owners had their pets wear. 

"Atsumu, Osamu, stop fighting up there!" all three of you whipped around to see who you now understood to be kita standing in the open door of the barn. "if one of yall shoves to hard and falls, what am I supposed to do with ya?" 

both boys' ears drooped some and they back away from the edge. "and don't go and be mean to ya new friend, all right? c'mon, time to get some dinner in all ya." 

at the prospect of food, the twins bounded down the makeshift staircase that had been added in just for the boys to access the nap spot and they followed closely at kita's heels.

"c'mon, if we don't hurry, samu's gonna steal outta our bowls," atsumu said to you. you smiled at nodded, but stole one last glance at the hayloft before heading up to the house with the others. atsumu caught this and made you a promise for the next day: " samu and i will take ya up there for a real fun time, promise!"

[owo-shenanigans]

So I'd like to make a request if you okay about it. Can i request something like a headcanons with yours fav male characters, from any Danganronpa game you want, and how they Will react to their s/o being a mastermind(or blackened)?

Of course! This was an absolute BLAST to write, though I teared up a few times :’‘) requests are OPEN!

KAZUICHI, GUNDHAM, AND KIIBO WITH A BLACKENED S/O

Word Count: 1.8k

KAZUICHI SOUDA

"No, I have an alibi- I was with Kazuichi!" Your words silenced the others who had begun to gang up on you. The trial was for Sonia's murder. With an unidentified fatal wound on the back of her head, she had been discovered at 7am in the restaurant.

He smiled and nodded, hand in a thumbs up. "Yeah! We were together all night - no way they could have done it!"

At the raised eyebrows from the others, he flushed. "I-I didn't mean-"

At your laugh, he just kept his mouth shut. But your alibi was set in stone.

Half an hour later, you wished you had kept your own mouth shut. Hajime had ripped your alibi to shreds, stating that Kazuichi was a known heavy sleeper- you could have snuck out and back in with him none the wiser.

"But- no, I couldn't have done it-!" You stated desperately, fists clenched. "Where on Earth would I have gotten a baseball bat!? Where could I have-"

Hajime's face at that made you fall silent, a terrible chill falling down your back.

"We never figured out what the murder weapon was, (Y/N)."

You glanced around wildly, but you could see your fate was sealed. Kazuichi's face was the worst one. His eyes were filled with tears, and as he looked at you, you found that you couldn't go on anymore.

"You're right, Hajime. I… I killed Sonia. I sent her a letter asking her to come to the restaurant at 3 in the morning, posing as you. I told her… I told her that I'd found a newspaper article about her country, and that I thought she should read it. When she arrived… She never saw my face. I snuck up behind her and… That's it."

You gripped your podium, hands shaking at the sounds of Gundham’s hamsters squeaking- almost overshadowing the faint cries from their master.

The votes came in- all but one for you.

The moment you were released from your podiums, Kazuichi dashed over to you, hands gripping yours.

"(Y/N), you- you- why? How could you do this to me? To all of us?"

He was choking back sobs, pink hair stuck in the tear tracks down his face. You gently reached out and touched them, and he leaned in to your touch.

"I'm so sorry Kazuichi. But they… What I saw… I knew I had to get off the island. I couldn't live without knowing the motive was fake."

Monokuma giggled in his obnoxiously high pitched voice.

"But now you'll never know, because it's PUNISHMENT TIME!"

Choking back your own sobs, you gave Kazuichi one last hug, one last desperate kiss.

"Get off this island. Get off this island for me."

The collar came and snapped around your neck, tearing you apart from him forever.

GUNDHAM TANAKA

"Mahiru was always hanging around you, Beta Bitch! I bet you killed her because you knew you would never be as kind as her, or as sweet as her, or as… as… WAAAAAAAAH!"

Hiyoko let out an ear splitting wail, as you started to try and defend yourself. But before you let out a word, the man across from you spoke up.

"Silence, Sea Urchin! For I was with thy darkness at the time of the crime. We were supplying sustenance to the caged creatures. They could not have hurt the now deceased."

You couldn't help smiling at his wordy, yet correct response. "We were feeding the animals at the farm," you translated. "And he would have seen me leaving, as there's only one exit. The whole place is surrounded by a fence, after all."

Hajime, who seemed to be leading the trial, nodded at that, and the discussion moved on. Once everyone's eyes were off you, you let out a sigh of relief.

There. Your alibi was safe. You were safe. You could- you could go home, and make sure that the video was lying.

Unnoticed by you, a little girl in blonde pigtails was staring at you. And she had a scowl on her face.

Half an hour later, everyone had gone around in circles three times. Nagito was doing his usual obscuration of the investigation. Not that you were complaining.

Wiping the sweat off your brow, you didn't hear what Hiyoko said through your rushing blood.

"So, I know you idiots let Beta Bitch off the hook because she couldn't have left the farm, but are you all ignoring the giant hole in their stupid argument?"

Everyone zeroed in on Hiyoko, who paled a moment before tossing her head.

"There's a literal hole in their argument."

"I agree with that!" Hajime shouted. "There's a little hole in the fence, right next to the hotel."

You had snapped back in at this point, hands shaking.

"But- there's also a- a fence around the hotel! I couldn't get thro-"

"That's wrong!" He shouted again, and you've never hated him more than in this moment. "Yes, there is a fence, but you didn't have to go through- not with the murder weapon you chose. With a relic sword from the library, all you had to do was stab through the fence."

"I found hay on the sword…. I think." Chiaki interjected. "I guess you hid the sword in the animal food until Gundham wasn't looking…. And then you left through the hole in the fence…."

From there, they tore apart your alibi, destroyed any chance you had of leaving the island.

But the look on Gundham’s face dried up any arguments you had. Every time you opened your mouth, his Deva's chitted at you, quiet and yet louder than Hajime's closing argument.

The votes came in- every single person had voted for you, except a lone two against Hajime. Hajime didn't even have the decency to appear offended by the votes, his expression pained as he stared at you.

"It was the motive video." You confessed, and you shut your eyes to keep out the sight of them all staring. "I had- I had to go home. I had to make sure it was fake. I knew it couldn't be real, because- because-"

Gundham took your hand gently and you broke down into his arms. Clutching at him like a lifeline, you sobbed out the rest of your story.

"I'm so, so sorry, Gundham. I never should have used you. The video isn't an excuse." You let out a watery chuckle. "None of you fell for it, did you?"

Pulling your motive video out, you tucked it into Gundham's jacket. "Check for me, will you? Make sure… make sure it's not true."

"Sweetne-" he started, but Monokuma interrupted with a feral grin.

"Real or fake, now you'll never know, because it's PUNISHMENT TIME!"

Monokuma tore you from Gundham, your watery smile the last he ever saw of you.

KIIBO

"Sorry, Shuichi, but I couldn't have done it." You shrugged at his accusation, internally sweating enough to fill a pool.

"I was with Kiibo at the time; I couldn't have left the kitchen without him seeing me."

"And I didn't see them leave the kitchen, let alone the dining room." Kiibo stated this almost proudly, and you had to fight off a wave of affection for the man. You couldn't doubt yourself- not now. Not when you had already done what you did. There was no going back.

"I couldn't have killed Kokichi."

At your words, everyone glanced at the portrait of the boy. None of them had liked him, sure, and he had screwed with them through the trials… but some of the things he said held the hidden piece necessary to understand the plot.

You shifted in your podium- his photographed eyes almost seemed to be following you. Kiibo caught your hand and squeezed it, offering a smile to you. Giving a tremulous smile in turn, you tried to calm your heart rate.

An hour later, you were shaking all over.

"You said your alibi was Kiibo, but Miu said THIS-" and he held up an electronic device- "was missing from her lab. It went missing this morning, and was found in the back of the kitchen cupboard. And the kitchen clock was a few minutes off. My theory? You set off a pulse to turn Kiibo off, which accidentally turned off the clock as well. You left the dining room, entered the warehouse, and strangled Kokichi."

You gulped loudly, the sound echoing in your head. Glancing around wildly, you were met with people convinced of your guilt. Turning to your right, you saw Kiibo- and you knew in that moment that if he were able to cry, he would be sobbing.

The look on his face made you give up.

"(Y/N).... It's not…. It's not true, is it?"

You looked down at your podium, your lack of an answer an answer nonetheless.

The votes came in, every single vote going your way. Even Kiibo, huh? Not like you didn't deserve it.

Drawing in a shaky breath, you spoke.

"I…. I just had to get out of here. I was going crazy. All the- all the death, the executions- I knew I was going to be next! So I…. I went to the warehouse. I was psyching myself out, by that point. But then…. Then Kokichi-

"He kept taunting me. Saying that- that he knew someone was planning to kill me, and that I was so weak and pathetic that they'd succeed and I-!

"I strangled him. I came back to myself with the rope wrapped around his neck, and he wasn't responding! I came back to the kitchen and…. And I hid the electronic in the back of the drawer. And that's it. That's how I killed Kokichi Oma."

You risked a glance over at Kiibo, and your heart sank. He was merely staring at you, no emotion on his face.

"For what it's worth… I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kiibo. I shouldn't have used you for my alibi."

Drawing in a breath, you choked on it when he pulled you into a hug. Pulling back, he touched his forehead to yours, your hands clutched in his.

"My inner voice is wrong. I…. I'll escape. I'll escape for you, (Y/N). I promise. I swear to you."

You let out a half sob, but you couldn't stop a final smile at how pure hearted he was.

"Don't… don't make the same mistake I did. Defeat whoever trapped us in here. Escape… escape without destroying yourself in the process, my dearest Kiibo."

"Oh, how heartwarming." Monokuma crooned in his high pitched voice. "You'll be warm enough in a whole lot of other places soon, because it's PUNISHMENT TIME!"

The collar snapped around your neck and tore you from his hands. He reached out to you desperately, but it was too late.

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 21.10.20 lb

behen abhi bhi dagmagaaati hui ek taang pe

and of course, gangsters ka usain bolt is back in action. isko koi aur cardio karna nahi hota hoga na? achchi khaasi workout mil jaati hai every 30 - 45 mins or so.

THIS ONE IS STILL STANDING HERE PLAYING LANGDI TAANG. FFS. ITNAAAAAAAAA BHI KYA AAGE PEECHE JHULNA??? JUST HOLD THE DIYA WITH BOTH HANDS AND MOVE A STEP BACK.

she's legit been just swaying for 50+ seconds in real time now.

maata rani be like there really is only ONE semi-competent insaan in this house, huh?

pffffffffffffffft. aur karo aisi wahiyaat planning.

lmaooooooooooooooooooooo out comes the secret that vansh is ambidextrous. there goes madamji's ghamaasaaan theorizing ki murderer could simply not be him, since he's right handed.

“haan, main dono haathon se kaam kar sakta hoon.” bitch kya faayda if they're doing useless things like signing papers and holding diyas instead of............ other ~~~interesting~~ things. 👀👀👀

back to square one for this missy.

vansh be like St. George where are you COZ THIS HOUSE REALLY BE FULL OF FUCKING SNAKESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AND OF COURSE IN ALL THAT AAGE PEECHE DOLNA MADE THE LOCKET AND MEMORY CARD FALL DOWN. 

chalo ji aaj ka strength training bhi ho gaya. how handy to have an utterly disaster-prone wife like riddhima, who ensures you get all the exercise you need in a day!

sis be trying to escape to go get the card and man is like SIT YOUR ASS DOWNNNNNNNNNNNN SO HELP ME GODDDDDDDDD

“jo bhi hai, mere liye tumse zyaada important nahi hai.”

pft yeah ok, i give this sentiment .......... 5 min. tops. coz knowing her, she's sure to piss him off with her bs before this conversation is over.

husband man vows vengeance. sweet.

chanchal is worst shadiyantra rach-er of all times. why do this shit if you don't have the fortitude to see it through???

mummy be like could you stop freaking the fuck outtttttt

meanwhile someone is spying on them, coz of course. it's this house. kisi ko aur kaam hi kya hai? not since the K shows of the early 2000s have i seen this much room ke baahar khade hoke doosron ki baatein sunna.

ah yes, this is the perfect time to question him on being ambidexterous. even though he did nothing greatttttttt with his left hand to get so inquisitive about. he literally just took the diya from her and held it. not like he was shooting machli ki aankh or anything.

oh???? he's opening up about something that happened 3 years ago that made him stop using his left hand?!?!!

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

bro, you're rich. you can afford laser removal of tattoos.

also ragini be a real dumbass. instead of just blowing the candle out, she's standing there pleading with him not to burn his hand. looks like vansh really has a type: STONE COLD STOOOOPID.

gentle enquiry begets gentle response full of affection.

.................. and the dumbass had to ruin it by bringing up the R word. (R word in this show = Ragini.)

the fact that you get sooooooo fucking hyper over this matter is exactly why she wants to know, you idiot.

lmaooooooooooo she just asked him if he trusts her. this should go great.

yup, we're shoulder grabbing and growling into the face of the woman we absolutely do trust.

he's like if i didn’t trust you, i wouldn’t have ignored my bitchass sister's chugli about the memory card you put in my laptop and then hid. man i've been outta the relationship game for too long, i didn't know that you gotta disclose digital memory device usage and all to our partners these days.

blah blah no matter how much i tell you you'll never believe me and stop investigating this shit, so what's the point in me telling you anyway. which is a realllllllllllllll smooth way to get outta saying anything in the first place, and then convincing you that you’re being intrusive. classic manipulative bs. don't fall for it girls.

riddhima deployed best weapon: aansoon.

bhai pighal raha, but is in no mood to share stories anymore so..........

what's the point of crying now? shoulda just kept your damn mouth shut and let him talk.

“samajh nahi aata ki aisi harkat kaun kar sakta hai.”

LMAO REALLLLLLLLLY????? THERE'S LITERALLY JUST 4 PEOPLE IN THIS WHOLEASS SHOW WHO DON'T WANT YOU DEAD. 3, depending on vansh's mood of the hour.

these two still discussing. ouff. bas bhi karooooooooooo. the first rule of bitch club is not to discuss your bitchidity.

bitch club has a new member who is delighted at this plotting and planning.

mummy and chachi like welcomeeeeeeeee welcomeeeeeee, tumne bhi toh kam kaand nahi kiye hain.

LMAO WHERE THE BOARD COME FROM IF HE'S STILL COMING AROUND THE CORNER. HE HAS BOARD BENDING SKILLS LIKE ANGELINA JOLIE IN WANTED OR WHAT?

he's being more calm than i would be while reading them to filth.

ishani be like whut, no, us, never!!!!!

bhaiiiiiiiiiii se hoshiyaari????????? he's in sole possession of the single raisinghania brain cell, and he knows how to use it!

calling out everything from the killer dandiya sticks to maim angre, to the nails that chachi was using to put up the decorations.

ofc this dumbass is hunting around for the memory card.

aryan's like oh good, i was bored, what are we looking for?

“chot tumhare pair pe lagi hai aur asar tumhare dimaag par dikhne laga hai.”

OMG MAYBE THAT'S WHY SHE'S SO DUMB!?!?!?!!? COZ SHE HAS MULTIPLE FOOT INJURIES EVERY WEEK. IT'S LIKE HER EQUIVALENT OF REPEATED CONCUSSIONS!!!!! ARYAN, YOU MEDICAL GENIUS!

i know what you did last 3 summers ago.

now that she's scared aryan away, she vows ki VANSH KE AAGE JO BHI MUSIBAT AAYE USSE PEHLE MUJHSE TAKRAANA HOGA. behen tujhse badi kaunsi musibat hai uske life mein jo roz roz usse takraati hai.

idhar patidev bhi exact same dialogue maarte hue.

ishani's like ugh what wife, that bitch a spyyyyyyyyyyy.

for literally the first time someone in this marriage is acting right and telling people to fuck right off from sticking their nose in their marriage.

plus some very serious warnings ki i know how to handle y'all if you act up like this again. dang, i'm a little hot for him rn. (y'all know i have a raging boner for righteously angry men.)

dadi fussing over ms. hot stepper for not bothering to rest her feet. plus some blah blah on the akhand jyot and the going to maata ka mandir and taalofying saari buri balaayein. mataji aap sab se pehle apne do bahuon ko dafa karein, automatically saari balaayein hatt jayengi.

oh thank god. dadi found the card and brought it straight to her. now watch riddhima set it in the flowers in her hair or some shit, so that it can fall down YET AGAIN.

YET AGAIN SHE'S DECIDED NOT TO SHOW VANSH THE FOOTAGE AND IS PUTTING IT OFF. I JUST.......

these shady fucks being shady as usual.

what DID you do 3 years ago to ragini, you asshole???

and of course this aunty is eavesdropping.

hein???? she's genuinely interested in the ragini thing???? it's not just one ainvayi ka excuse that you ppl fed riddhima to get her into the house???? also, she just heard aryan copping up to it and that riddhima has proof of it. how the hell they gonna pin it on vansh now??????? 

[possitivelypricklycactus]

An AU plot bunny

So I was making a comment in Soompi about how haughty our GOW is and how normally he's very polite but if you cross him, he wouldn't hesitate to pull ranks and put you in your station. Then I made a comparison to an old time European aristocrat and then this plot bunny just jumped across my head and because of my inability to let the story go I just have to give into the impulse.

Just imagine him as a Royal Duke or maybe a Russian Prince, looking like this.

And her, a simple country maid, the daughter of a minor gentry. Looking something like this

And that braid is where the Russian elements came into this story. And I don't care if there were any Asian prince in Russia, this is my Alternate Universe and anything goes.

He went to war and came back traumatised. Which war, you asked? Oh, I don't know, the plot device war maybe? So he retreated to one of his countryside estates. The remotest one, the one adjacent to her dad's, ok?

This is him taking long walk in the countryside all by himself while looking very sad and lonely. Haha

And of course, he would also go off horse riding in the middle of the night to escape his nightmares and in one of those accidents of fate, he got thrown off his horse and and hit his head and fell unconscious.

And of course she would find him in the forest while going chestnut foraging, it just seems like something people do in Russia in all of the stories I've read lol.

This is her foraging dress

And of course she would bring him to an abandoned barn to nurse him back to health.

Why a barn you ask? Because it must be a barn, how else would we get a rolling around in the hays scene otherwise?

Of course she felt terribly guilty after the hay rolling thing and ran away leaving him with no clue of who she was.

That's her taking walks around her father's estate looking guilty. In red, of course because, well, a scarlet woman.

In the meantime, he was back at his place being very crossed that she was gone without a trace.

That's him after coming up with a brilliant, and also very obvious, idea of throwing a ball and inviting the all of his neighbours to come.

And that’s them, finally meeting.

[ljones41]

“THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN” (1974) Review

“THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN” (1974) Review

What can I say about 1974’s “THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN”? It is not the worst James Bond movie I have ever seen. I can think of at least two or three of which I have a lower opinion. But I do believe that it is the worst Roger Moore film in the franchise.

Apparently screenwriter Tom Mankiewicz believed the same. He made the decision to bow out of adapting Ian Fleming’s 1965 novel, before the script could be finished. The plot for “THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN” focused on the Solex Agitator – a device which can harness the power of the sun. Before Bond could investigate the death of scientist who was thought to be in possession of information crucial to the creation of the Solex Agitator, he has to find out why hitman Francisco Scaramanga had sent a golden bullet to him.

It turns out that Scaramanga’s long-suffering mistress, Andrea Anders, had sent the bullet to Bond, hoping that he would kill the hitman. Eventually, Bond teams up with MI-6 agents Mary Goodnight and Lieutenant Hip against Francisco Scaramanga – The Man with the Golden Gun and his employer, billionaire Hai Fat. Eventually Scaramanga kills Hai Fat and become the sole possessor of the Solex Agitator. He also kills Andrea and kidnaps Goodnight. Bond tracks Scaramanga to an island of mainland China, where the action finally culminates in a duel between the two men – Bond’s Walther PPK against Scaramanga’s Golden Gun.

I must admit that the movie’s plot seemed interesting. It certainly did not seem like the disappointment that “LIVE AND LET DIE” turned out to be. I thought it was a lot better than the plot created by Fleming for his 1965 novel. The problem with “THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN” is that it was so poorly executed . . . especially by director Guy Hamilton. There seemed to be a lack of style or substance in how the movie was directed.

Roger Moore’s performance did not help matters. After his impressive debut in his previous movie, many Bond fans made a fuss over the fact that Moore’s Bond seemed nothing like Connery’s Bond. Which led to Moore being forced to attempt a recapture of Connery’s style. And it did not work. He came off as false and almost wooden. Only two scenes saved Moore’s performance from being a complete bust – his encounter with the Macao gunsmith, Lazar (“Speak now or forever hold your piece.”) and the Bond/Scaramanga confrontation during luncheon on the assassin’s island when Bond expresses his dislike of Scaramanga’s suggestion that the British agent is nothing more than a fellow assassin.

Speaking of Scaramanga, EON Productions had the good fortune to cast Christopher Lee (the future Count Dooku and Sarauman) as the movie’s main villain, expert assassin Francisco Scaramanga. The scene that featured Scaramanga’s recollection of a pet elephant produced a very poignant performance from Lee. In fact, only Lee and South Korean actor, Soon-Tek-Oh (who portrayed MI-6 agent Lieutenant Hip) seemed to be the only two cast members who gave consistently excellent performances throughout the entire film.

I certainly cannot say the same about the other supporting cast members. Herve Villachaise (four years before “FANTASY ISLAND”) simply annoyed me. Maud Adams seemed to be her usual wooden self. Britt Ekland, although a good actress, had the bad luck to portray the annoyingly clumsy Mary Goodnight. Bernard Lee seemed a bit over-the-top in his constant annoyance toward Bond and Hip. Even worse, I never understood M’s willingness to blame an innocent Bond for the death of government scientist Dr. Gibson. Desmond Llewellyn’s portrayal of Q struck me as equally annoying as M seemed to find him. I do not even recall the quality of Lois Maxwell’s brief performance as Moneypenny.

I must admit that cinematographers Ted Moore and Oswald Morris beautifully captured the exotic allure of Southeast Asia. It seemed a pity that John Barry could not produce a memorable score and that Don Black wrote what I consider to be the second worst Bond theme song (performed by Lulu) in the franchise’s history. Oh well. Nothing is perfect. Unfortunately for “THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN”, it was far from perfect.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #495

Top Ten Non-MCU Post-Credit Scenes

Oh look, two MCU-related posts in a row! Delightful. Well, kinda. Because this week is a fake-out; it’s not really about the MCU! In fact, it’s almost anti-MCU! How wicked! Because ever since its inception, one of the quirks of the Marvel Cinematic Universe – something it’s become famous for, in fact – is its use of a post-credit scene. From the moment Nick Fury stepped out of the shadows to mention the “Avenger Initiative” after all the names had scrolled on by in Iron Man, the ongoing films were almost defined by their last-second teases and delights. You can tell, in the cinema, the fans and non-fans, as they get up and clear off, leaving the True Believers in their seats, wondering how these people could possibly vacate the theatre without really seeing the ending. In fact, as the franchise has gone on, the number of people staying put has – in my own rough reckoning – increased considerably, to now be about fifty percent of the audience. And why not? You’re really not getting the full picture! As these entangled narratives have unfurled before us, we like the connective tissue of the end-credit tease; the reveals of new characters or locations, the subtle hints at what’s to come. Loki has possessed Selvig! The Collector has the Aether! The ant’s playing the drums!

“To challenge them would be to court Death!”

Anyway, MCU films have post-credit scenes. But of course they’re not the only ones. Having a scene after the credits – or, sometimes, during the credits – is fairly common in the history of cinema. I think it’s become a lot more common this century, partly because of Marvel popularising it as a storytelling device or method of connecting disparate films in a franchise, but also (I believe) because CG animated films have often used it as a comedy trick. I’m not sure why or where this really began in earnest, but I think the old Pixar “out takes” was partly to blame, as was the whole “Shrek Dance Party” phenomenon. Anyway, as you will see, there are a few here that fit that bill.

Because that’s what this whole list is! It’s films that have great post-credit scenes, but aren’t Marvel! Or, at least, aren’t officially part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Some of them are classics of the form, thirty or forty years old; some are newer and fall into the categories I’ve mentioned above. Some follow a similar pattern to most MCU end-scenes – comedy skit or tease an upcoming movie, but stuck at the end of the credits – whereas some interfere with the credits throughout. I’ve been wary of scenes which aren’t really post-credit, but if we all the “mid-credit” scene in the MCU – or the multiple scenes from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 – then we can allow some of the ones below.

So there we are! Nowt more to it. Let’s roll the credits...

Airplane! (1980): early in the film, our hero Ted Striker (Robert Hays) leaves his cab just as a fare gets in the back. Telling said fare to wait, Striker dashes after his girlfriend Elaine (Julie Hagarty), ends up on her plane, and, well, the rest of the delightfully silly and surreal plot unfolds. The film ends, the credits roll, and then we cut back to the abandoned cab, where the poor unfortubate fare is still sat in the back seat. “I’ll give him five more minutes,” he says, looking at his watch, “And that’s it.” I mean, it’s just sublime.

Deadpool (2016)/Deadpool 2 (2018): where to start? Whether it’s the first film’s Ferris Bueller-aping dressing gown skit (delightfully informing us that Cable will be in the next film) or the sequel’s multiple time-hopping gags – including undoing the film’s unfortunate fridging of Vanessa (Morena Baccarin) and killing Ryan Reynolds (“you’re welcome, Canada”) – this series really knows how to keep you engaged until the very last second. Can’t wait to see what he does when he’s part of the MCU.

Young Sherlock Holmes (1985): it’s funny, but looking back, I can probably trace any interest I have in Sherlock Holmes to this film and Basil the Great Mouse Detective. Anyway, this is a seminal film by any yardstick, featuring as it does one of (if not the) first example of a CGI character interacting in a real environment. But the end credit sting! The film’s Big Bad (Anthony Higgins), having somehow survived, checks himself into a hotel under the name of – you guessed it – Moriarty. This was, arguably, the first example of an end-credit scene teasing a future film! Setting up the Young Sherlock Holmes Extended Universe! Sadly it was a bit of a flop and they didn’t make any more.

Masters of the Universe (1987): Young Sherlock may have been interesting, but I’ll be honest, other people had to tell me who Moriarty was for me to understand the significance. The ending of Masters, however… well, it’s not quite as nuanced or revelatory, but the seemingly-dead Skeletor (Frank Langella) popping his head back up to yell at the camera “I’ll be back!” was a fantastic and exciting shock. We were guaranteed more He-Man! There’d be another film! There was not another film. Still cool, though.

A Bug’s Life (1998): I alluded to this earlier, and we’re only tenuously in “end-credit” land here (these scenes play over the credits, technically), but it still merits a mention. For A Bug’s Life was the film that began the (actually very short) Pixar tradition of showing us “outtakes” from the movie. And some of these first ones are among the best, with characters corpsing or forgetting their lines; subsequent films would lean more towards practical jokes and outright gaggery, whereas I personally prefer those that further the “it’s a movie being filmed” illusion. Anyway, the legend began here, not a sentence you can often say in relation to A Bug’s Life.

Frozen II (2019): in recent years Disney have made end-credit gags a tradition, and they’re pretty good at it. Moana’s fourth wall-breaking catchup with Tamatoa nearly made the list, but I’m giving the spot to Olaf. After recapping the plot of the first film earlier in the runtime, he’s now telling the story of the film you’ve just watched. The kicker? He’s telling the story to Marshmallow and the creepy little snow-brothers! From the first Frozen! And Frozen Fever! They’re at the ice palace, remember? It’s not only a funny bit, it’s also a nice nod to those kids (and their parents) who’ve mainlined anything Frozen-related for the past couple of years.

Winnie the Pooh (2011): a very underrated little gem, this; just so charming. One of the plot threads is the apparent disappearance of Christopher Robin, who leaves a note saying he’ll be “back soon”, but which is misread by stuffy know-it-all bird Owl, and leads to an amusing song of fright and alarm Pooh, Piglet and the gang all believe old Chrissie Rob has been abducted by a monster called a “Backson” (“They use their horns to put holes in your socks!”). Obviously this is a misunderstanding, it’s all resolved, happy endings all round. But then, at the end of the credits, who should rock up, but an actual Backson (who turns out to be very nice). What’s great about this, other than it just being a neat gag, is that it’s playing with the expectations of a young audience; it’s introducing them to a kind of comedic rug-pull. I can attest to the fact that nippers find it very entertaining.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2019): I’m a bit concerned about being too superheroic (I nearly had the Flash/Superman race from Justice League in here, actually, which I like because it’s one of the few moments in either version of that film where the characters act like the characters I know). I’m also wary of leaning into the whole “sequel tease” thing. But hey, this one’s fun; it feels like a sequel tease, another alternate version of Spider-Man voiced by a famous actor. Then it warps into the classic sixties Spider-Man, and references the whole “pointing” meme to boot. It has its cake and eats it, and it’s great.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990): the Gremlins films are great at breaking the fourth wall and poking fun at themselves, and this is no exception. The great Daffy Duck – who introduced the film, and whose anarchic style is a great precursor to the Gremlins themselves – pops up several times to comment on how long and boring the credits are, before finally asking the audience, “Don’t you people have homes?”. There should be more Daffy in movies.

Shrek 2 (2004): there were a few things I could have included in this list: Crank’s 16-bit game homage is quite fun; the Ferris Bueller bathrobe bit is iconic, although personally I find Ferris so unappealing as a character that I wouldn’t want to include it. So we have Shrek 2, one of the first of a whole raft of CG animated films to have a funny scene at the end. And the reason I’ve included it is because, well, it’s quite weird. Basically you find out that Donkey and Dragon have had babies that are, er, half donkey and half dragon (“Look at our little mutant babies!” says Donkey). I mean. There are connotations here that I’d rather not mull over.

So there we are. Now I didn’t want to include this as it’s not really a scene, and if I’m just doing “funny things in the credits” then we’re going to get onto stuff like the Naked Gun movies and all sorts of other weirdness, but I do want to shout out to An American Werewolf in London’s “any resemblance to persons living, dead, or undead” legal disclaimer at the end of the credits.

[naanima]

NIF 2 EP 42

The series is so pretty. Watching it hi-def on my 52 inch television is amazing.

That fricking gazebo. It is definitely the same one in the first series; the one that Mei Changsu and Nihuang met under, the one MCS stayed under for so many of the scenes where he watched over, watched after or waited. Every time I see that gazebo I get feels. I can't believe I just typed that sentence.

Watching ep 37 proper. Don't want to rehash what I said (XIAO TINGSHENG! YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!). The full convo between Lin Xi and Pingzing is devastating in its stark truth. But it is literally the conversation I wish would happen in EVERY OTHER FICTIONAL TEXT. What other show or book actually depict a conversation about consent, guilt between all parties involved?! (I'm looking at you Doctor Who, never forget what you did to Donna)? It is satisfying on a level I can't even truly articulate, an actual real, mature and emotional conversation that needs to happen but rarely do in fictional text (whether Eastern or Western).

Feizhang is amazing. I like how the show finally came out and stated what the viewers have been screaming since he was introduced. He love Qianxue but he knows exactly where he is in her life. I love his type of character; righteous and stoic, never forcing himself onto others, and just so moral. RUN AWAY FROM THE XUN FAMILY!! Enjoy jianhu! Be free!! Climb the Lang Ya ranking!! Gods, please let the ending of this show provide me a slip of hope that he and Qianxue might have something in the future, like a decade in the future or something. He also seemed so happy to be not at court.

I love Yuanqi and Pingjing's outfit upgrade.

Yuanqi - le sigh. Though that first shot of him after the time skip, and the sound effect was amazing. He is also so very smart about getting backing. The genius of his actions is that he provides the truth and let people's nature take their course. You got to applaud that level of manipulation.

Poor Anru. To go from such happiness to such anguish. But holy crap, she saved her handmaid by providing her a 'death' by drowning. She knew Pai'er was a strong swimmer. There is just so much going on in her head. Also, she is fascinating because she knew shit was going down but avoided situations where she would learn more and ignored her instincts. She is smart enough to know when to stop asking questions, and ALL her actions are based on her upbringing (Chinese Confucianism), Yuanqi is her husband and the underlying threat is pretty damn explicit. There is no other road for her, and YET! Saving Pai'er on the downlow. I really like her. And it makes me giggle because a large part of Yuanqi's downfall is going to be at the hand of a 'genteel woman'.

Also, Pai'er. Oh gods, I know she is a plot device/character but I spent most of the time wanting to scream at her. STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND LISTENING TO CONVOS YOU SHOULDN'T.

OMFG! IS THAT THE ACTRESS THAT PLAYED XIA DONG!!!!!

Lin Chen being biased, and then being embarrassed about it. Lols. But he is so right - Pingjing is part of the court, once he find out certain info he can't let go. And Lin Jiu is so very pointed about Lin Chen's involvement with the court, and how could never deny information to certain people. Also, Lin Chen had AT LEAST NINE (9) KIDS. Ahahahaha!  All those beauties.

LOVE the new general - Yue? So smart, serious and like a dog with a bone. Also, love his 2IC, and of course they would pick up Pai'er. All the threads are coming together. I'm so curious about his role in the future.

Pingjing realising what Yuanqi is doing and not wanting to believe. Poor boy.

PINGJING AND LIN XI - 'TODAY'S FRIEND'. MOURNFUL LOL. I'm laughing and crying at the same time. PINGJING, THIS IS WHY YOU ARE MEME. YOU AND YOUR 'MOST PRECIOUS FRIEND'. But seriously, can we PLEASE HAVE A GUARANTEE THAT THEY WILL GET TOGETHER. GET BEYOND "FRIENDS".

Lin Xi is AMAZING!!!! *____* also knows the deal. Not having her name on HER BOOK because people won't take it seriously if it is known it was written by a woman. I LOVE HAI YAN!!!! Because she offers the flipside of the argument, how can you change perception if you don't try. Ahahahahahahaha. Only can the above points be made when written by a woman who gets it.

I love Pingjing's apology to Lin Xi because it isn't just an apology about the fake engagement, it is an apology that he can't go with her but must return to court. And so much more. YET! HE STILL WANTS TO STAY, AND BASICALLY GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO NOT RETURN TO THE CAPITAL. POOR CHILD.

The wigs in this show is amazing. I'm trying to figure out how much of it is the actor's hair.

The implicit and explicit gender commentary of China on this show is awesome.

[yeah-sure-amanda]

I really could give a flying frack about the spoiler pics. Whatever. Once again the show really doesn’t care about keeping things quiet when it comes to her story beats which is cracking me up. They ruined the tension by putting in last Thursday’s plot point into a magazine and now they talk about another one on their website. It’s painfully obvious It’s all about Lachlan. As per usual. Guys? She doesn’t matter. *Calling all plot devices!*

What do I fear?

Fandom reaction. My first thought was, “Oh god, the asks I will see on my dash will be fracking annoying.” Alarmist ahoy. Not that people’s feelings aren’t valid. I just think some are overthinking it while others want to be miserable. Get out of the bitter pool and get in the hay! Did I just misquote Friends? Yes I did!

I have a schedule I’m keeping myself on so I might actually miss most of the unnecessary drama.

Just saying...

The more power you give this character the more she will upset you. The less power you give towards this character, the less hold she has. Stop clapping for tinker bell. She needs to narratively flit and float off screen.

Let her.

Think of the positives. Think of Robron and February. Think of the wedding in late summer. Think of the build up. That’s where the postitive sweet spot is. Think of other storylines. Liv. Gerry.

More positivity. Less worry. 😊

[pinbitch]

aaaaaaand MORE smallville season 5: 

-nice grey sky over the barn. i can see the director shouting "it's a METAPHOR. it represents GRIEF. we are SAD TODAY" 

-clark is fixing a tractor in memory of daddy kent 

-and breaking tools. a well established favourite of mine 

-i guess clark is gonna be a masterclass in repression for the rest of this season 

-oh HAI blue truck ily 

-oh heeeeey mysterious vigilante lady 

-daddy kent is still in the credits rip 

-repressed angry grieving clark has shades of rkc. i love rkc. i miss rkc 

-chloe and clark staging a mugging is exactly the level of silly it needs to be. a classic smallville moment 

-daddy luthor: *holding gun* this isn't a weapon, it's a piece of history. me & lex: u can be... two things

-daddy luthor not realising asking lex not to be melodramatic is like asking me not to cry every time i visit a planetarium 

-chloe and mum kent have a lovely bonding moment over how weird shit is 

-lovely lady vigilante is deaded by the end of the episode i bet 

-lex just used the expression "a freshly laid corpse" and like wut? freshly laid like an egg? what the hell lex who wrote this dialogue? 

-WHO WROTE THIS SCENE?!? lex is threatening daddy luthor with telling martha he met with daddy kent just before he kicked the bucket. he's described it as a "transgression"... but... they just had an angry homoerotic chat in the barn? 

-snake? snake? SNAAAAAAAAAKE 

-it should be sad but actually it's hilarious that lionel likes clark more than he likes lex 

-MUM KENT IN SENATE it makes no sense (or if it does american politics are so incredibly broken, even more so than is immediately obvious ahem) but YAAAAS 

-hmmm not dead but disappeared 

-oh good an episode dealing with mental illness this is going to be handled TERRIBLY 

-lois: can you not do anything ridiculous for five minutes? clark: *punches a hole in a wall* 

-FUCK YOU lex and fuck lana for helping you 

-i love it when clark meets other super humans especially when they're as lovely as victor 

-daddy luthor's massive crush on mum kent is one of my favourite parts of the show 

-lana: whenever you're ready, i'll be waiting, for as long as it takes. me: so you break up this episode then? 

-i feel like this has happened before. clark has been hypnotised before right? 

-jesus christ it’s been so long do you know how far down in my drafts i had to go down to find this ugh

-lana: so according to these incredibly conspicuous maps you’re either going on holiday or this professor bloke is in central america. lex: both! i’m incredibly rich

-lex: i promise when i get back i’ll tell you everything. lana: well honesty is my kink. me: lex has never once been honest in his entire life PLEASE

-clark summarising his powers: i can run really fast. bless my puppy man

-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh this is sexual assault? plot device to make clark and lana break up hypnosis girl has removed clark’s ability to consent and it’s making me SUPER uncomfortable

-HE BENT A STRONG THING I’M NOT ON BOARD WITH THIS EPISODE BUT A STRONG LAD BENT A STRONG THING AND I love THAT

-clark is shirtless but it’s BAD i HAte this episode

-huh plot device to make clark and lana break up hypnosis girl has a really poorly fitting bra

-like. this is different to rkc because that was still clark just without inhibitions but this is him literally being hypnotised into sexual activities he would not have otherwise consented to am i literally about to watch superman get raped????

-”make love to me clark” THIS IS RAPE

-yeah yeah great lana caught them and got her close up crying scene but now we’ve cut to lex’s place but what happened to clark???

-jesus fucking christ this episode is rough

-okay so plot device to make clark and lana break up hypnosis girl is protecting clark’s secret from lex which is nice but she’s sexually assaulted him and possibly raped him at this point so like, this is not a redemptive act and if this episode tries to give her a redemption arc i’m gonna riot 

-chloe please rescue me and clark from this hellish episode

-with all this awful bullshit going on i’ve neglected to mention that lex is randomly in honduras this episode and honestly it feels so detached from the rest of the plot. i’m gonna pretend the rest of the episode isn’t happening

-official smallville pig count: 1. i just thought it was noteworthy that in a show where the main character lives on a farm we have to wait until the fifth season and have to travel to honduras in-universe in order to see a very common farm animal

-as always, lex is aware something shifty is afoot but is completely, tragically wrong about the specifics. some things never change, luckily for milton fine (what a name btw)

-lex looked visibly uncomfortable when someone else started referencing mythology and ancient cultures. “that is my job. only me and my family do that. wait are we related?”

-clark literally tapped lois on the head like *boop* and she fell over knocked out and it shouldn’t have been funny but here we are i have to take what i can get from this episode

-oh thank fuck they confirmed she never raped him that’s something at least

-mum kent: do you think you didn’t tell lana your secret cause deep down you don’t think she’s the one? me: holy shit how is mum kent literally always right

-oh fuck now i’m gonna have to endure lana and lex the Worst Pairing