#PERFORMANCE OF THE AGESSSSS

[qilingxiong]

Zheng Qiyuan & Xu Junshuo - 《榮耀為我臣服 | Glory Submits for Me》 [La Gloire à mes genoux from Le Rouge et le Noir] (Super Vocal S2)

• If I recall correctly, XJS translated this song into Mandarin himself. He very, very badly wanted to sing this with ZQY during the singing partner selection process • Towards the end of the song, XJS's mic pack falls out, and he takes out one of his in-ears to try and hear properly shortly before hitting that last High D without wavering. XJS has always been one of my favourites from this season for a reason

[jittyjames]

i have to recommend the jekyll and hyde musical to you and everyone following…specifically the concept album with anthony warlow! it’s so dark and dramatic and i love it. it got me through quarantine, but i honestly forgot about it until we started to sing a song from it in my voice class! so much nostalgia, and no one to share it with😔

YES THIS MUSICAL HAS INTRIGUED ME FOR AGESSSSS. I NEED TO LISTEN TO IT IN ITS ENTIRETY. i def know i will love the music bc i’ve been scream-singing confrontation since i saw an animatic for it years ago. and then my josh young obsessed ass of course has seen his miscast performance of bring on the men a million times. i’m gonna be sprinting to youtube or spotify to listen!!!

[highpope]

Silver Keys - Chapter Five

JJ Maybank x OC x Topper Thorton Soulmate AU

warnings: none, let me know if there ever are :)

notes: first, I know this took agesssss I'm sorry but I've been sitting on a couple chapters so you guys should be getting some updates for a while. Second, I lost my tag lists. so lmk if you want added to this one or my general tag list. I've been writing a lot more to cope with my anxiety so... things are coming bahaha. Love you guys, thanks for your support recently - J

Silver Keys Masterlist

June probably wouldn’t admit it to anyone besides her sister and Kie, but going out with Topper was fun. When he had asked her out to have dinner at the country club, she was worried she wouldn’t fit in at all. June was convinced she’d make it about 15 minutes before she bailed and met everyone back at the Chateau. She had on shoes she could barely walk in and a dress she found at goodwill, no doubt someone’s from a homecoming dance in years past and she was fighting the urge to pull her hair up all night. But then she realized they had talked straight through appetizers, dinner, and the waiter had come by twice for the check. The two of them had fallen into a comfortable understanding with each other that had continued into the following weeks.

He picked her up from work on most days, driving around in search of the perfect chocolate chip cookie. June argues that the small bakery run out of one of the local’s houses has the best cookies, but Topper is determined to try every option before making a decision. It had started as kind of a joke, but now it was just an excuse for them to hang out.

Currently, they were at the island’s movie night, chairs propped up near the back and various snacks shared between the two of them. Topper’s arm rested on her shoulders, something she had become accustomed to the past few weeks. June found herself more relaxed with him, it was easy being with Topper. She didn’t have to think or worry, June could just be.

They were playing The Sandlot, arguably the best movie of all time and June had to hold back from saying the iconic lines with the characters. She had grown up watching this movie with her sister and had practically begged Topper to go see it.

“Really?” He had asked the day before, “The movie nights aren’t really our thing.”

“Yeah, that’s because you guys always cause trouble and then get kicked out.”

He shook his head.

“Yes, you do. Besides, you’re gonna be with me and I am a model citizen.”

He laughed then and again in the chair beside her now.

She found herself leaning into him naturally, even with the arms of both their chairs in between them. It was something she had never had previously. June didn’t do relationships. In high school, she mostly stuck with the pogues and focused on school and not getting in trouble with the cops. Sure, she had the occasional crush or hookup with a touron, but nothing was ever serious. Not that this was, but it was closer to that than anything else June had experienced.

The next morning June had her last piano rehearsal with Mrs. Hana before the recital. The Saturday coming up was the big dress rehearsal. The one with the kids from all over the island and hundreds of different schools and programs. And the weekend following that was the recital. Her whole family was going. Her dad had even surprised her by getting a hotel room for all of them and making a whole trip about it. He had to work night shifts for two weeks, but he assured her it was worth it. Not that that added any pressure.

At rehearsal, June played nearly perfectly. She had only messed up a couple of notes near the end. She’d be lucky if Saturday went as smoothly as this. Mrs. Hana corrected her posture and made her go from the top. They went on like this the whole lesson: June playing and her correcting one thing at a time before making her start over. Normally, June would argue, but she knew it was because Mrs. Hana understood how important this was. This could set her future up, get her off the island if she wanted. She could do something she loved every day.

The night before the recital, June was laying on a hammock in John B’s backyard.

“Nervous?” Kie questions.

June shrugged, “Kinda, yeah.”

“I’m sure you’re going to do fine,” Pope said with confidence. It was only the three of them. John B and JJ had ventured out to get snacks and beer but hadn’t been back for an hour. June’s guess was they found a party and couldn’t bother to text an update. That or they got arrested. Which probably would’ve earned a phone call quicker than the first option. She chuckled thinking about this.

“It’s just a rehearsal and Liv is driving down with me so I don’t really have anything to worry about.”

“You seem to have this all figured out,” he said with a laugh.

Kie said, “And I cannot wait to celebrate when you get back! It’s gonna be so fun.”

June could only imagine what her best friend was thinking when she said this. She was sure it would end like most nights did, tipsy and watching movies on John B’s couch. Her favorite way to end a day. The three of them drift into a comfortable silence, lost in their thoughts. June starts to hear a familiar melody, but can’t quite put her finger on it. She was sure it wasn’t anything she had chosen to listen to, but couldn’t figure out where she had heard it before.

She was brought back to reality when John B and JJ come strutting into the yard, cases of beer on their shoulders and grocery bags in their hands. Kie and June both started cheering.

They set down the stuff on the closest table.

“What took so long?” Pope asked, getting up and rummaging through the bags. He pulls out a bag of chips before turning around.

“You’re not even going to believe it.” John B starts, taking a seat.

“Hey,” JJ yelled at June, “Gummies?” He asks and holds up a bag of gummy worms.

She nods her head and he tosses them over before grabbing his own snack and beer and joining her on the hammock. They all listen to JB’s story, JJ adding in his own variations and making everyone laugh.

“And who ended up being in front of us at the grocery store?” He paused for dramatic effect, “Sarah Cameron.”

June realized a beat late that she was supposed to be reacting, “Sarah Cameron!” she repeated.

JJ turned his head to keep from laughing.

“Am I supposed to be excited?” Kie asked, an annoyed expression on her face. She and Sarah used to be friends before they drifted into different friend groups.

“Yes, Kie. It was like fate.”

JJ spoke up, “I would hardly call it fate.”

John B just rolled his eyes at his friends and took another drink.

“What happened to Molly Fields?” Pope questioned. That was the girl we had gone to elementary school with, the latest victim of John B’s soulmate search.

“Nah,'' he dismissed, “This one’s different.”

“Well, I hope it is, JB,” June spoke up. He looked over and smiled at her.

The next morning June and Olivia jump in the car and start towards the concert hall where her dress rehearsal was being held. She had been up for hours, too excited and nervous to sleep. June had gotten ready, done her makeup, changed three times, and called Topper twice all before Olivia had even woken up. Downstairs, their mom had made some breakfast and June couldn’t bear to tell her she was too nervous to eat anything. So, she grabbed a pancake and thanked her parents.

They listened to music the whole way down, Liv was always determined to get June to listen to the most mainstream pop music she could. She always argued that she wouldn’t understand anyone’s references and it would be an embarrassing mess. June made sure to point out that she had made it 18 years without that ever happening, but nonetheless she persisted.

When they arrived, they parked the car and decided to window shop. They were still about an hour early from call time and Liv was restless enough as it was. June was trying to push her nerves down. She didn’t want to come across that way to the instructors. June had a vision that she would walk across the stage, take a deep breath, and be transported by the music. She didn’t want to have the weight of the competition on her shoulders or the constant confusion about her soulmate circling in her head. That was a new development. June found herself lying awake at night going over everything Topper had said or done and trying to place it into this mysterious soulmate cut out she had in her head. She was trying to do a puzzle with the wrong number of pieces. And she wasn’t even sure if it was the right picture on the box.

….

“Okay, turning the key a bunch of times isn’t going to do any good if the battery is dead,” Olivia said, snapping her head to look at June from the passenger side.

After the dress rehearsal, June had called Liv and the two of them had eaten in the cafeteria with a few other performers. June was practically glowing after being there for a few hours, she couldn’t imagine how she would feel at the actual recital. Everything was going perfectly.

Until they got back to the car and realized the battery was dead.

“Well,” June sighed, “I don’t know what else to do.” Her voice pinched.

“Can’t we call a mechanic?”

“Liv, you know we can’t afford that. Especially in this area. We just need a jump.”

She surveyed the empty parking lot and tried to think of what to do without panicking. They were too far from home to have someone just pick them up and there were no cars in sight. Even if there were, they didn’t have any jumper cables. Maybe they could take the bus home and get help tomorrow. June probably had enough cash in her purse for two bus tickets.

“Isn’t there like a trick with distilled water? That could get us somewhere.”

“You think I have distilled water in my car? Besides, I have no idea how to do that.”

“I’m just trying to give you ideas here,” Olivia said, unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out of the car.

June leaned her head back and closed her eyes, thinking and thinking.

She was interrupted when Olivia opened the driver’s side door and handed her the phone, “here.”

Confused, June lifted the phone to her ear, “hello?”

“June? What’s going on?” JJ’s voice was on the other end.

“J, we’re fine. Just a little car trouble.” She rolled her eyes at her sister.

“We’re stranded!” Olivia yelled so that he could hear.

“We’re fine,” she said, shooting her sister a look.

JJ speaks up, “Doesn’t sound fine. June, I’ll just come out and help. No problem.”

“No, no. We just need a jump-”

“I’m already in the car, just send me your location.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, but I’m going to.”

Defeated, June agrees and sends him the address of the music hall.

About 45 minutes later, JJ pulls into the parking spot opposite of them, “Hey,” he says as he turns the key and gets out of the car.

“Oh thank god! JJ, do you have AC? I’m melting.” Olivia yells. She’s already getting in his truck and rotating the fans to blow her hair back before he can process what she’s just said.

“I’m sorry,” June starts, but he interrupts her.

“Eh, no big deal”

“I can give you gas money for coming all the way out here.”

He shakes his head, “Nah. Here catch.” JJ throws one end of the jumper cables to her, “You know how to put them on?”

June scoffs, “This isn’t my first jump, Maybank.”

Once everything is sorted out with June’s car, the three of them drive to the nearest ice cream shop. Mostly because Olivia was being dramatic and promised to pay for herself, but also to thank JJ for driving the whole way out here just to get them home.

“I don’t know, it’s like what if my soulmate doesn’t like ice cream? Ew, or worse, orders mint chocolate chip.” Olivia said as they headed to a table outside. The spot they had picked was really nice, there were picnic tables with umbrellas lined up on a patio in front of the window they had ordered from.

June just laughed, a conversation the two of them had had more than once.

“What’s wrong with mint chocolate chip?” JJ asked.

Olivia made a face, “only everything.”

“Isn’t the whole point of a soulmate that you overlook those flaws and-”

“Please. Don’t lecture me.” She begs.

“She’s kinda right though,” JJ replies, looking at June for a second and scrunching his nose. She smiles back, looking down at her ice cream.

“Have you heard it?” She asks him.

“Yeah,” he clears his throat, “the other night at John B’s.” He meets June’s eyes. “I fell asleep on the pullout and the storm woke me up. So I was just laying awake and that’s when I heard it. It was really faint. Mad weird though,” He finished and took a bite of his ice cream, making June shudder.

She remembered the night he was talking about. It had stormed for about two days last week. She thought about what she was probably doing at the time, practicing for the recital, maybe reading until

she drifted off.

“Do you think you know who it is?” Olivia inquired.

He shook his head, “No, haven’t thought about it.”

“You don’t wanna know?”

“I mean, sure. But if I’m gonna find out anyway by force of,” he struggled for the right word before landing on, “the universe, then why stress right now?”

That answer seemed to have satisfied her enough because she nodded her head and stopped asking questions.

When she finally pulled into her driveway, June had a phone call.

The three of them had left shortly after ice cream, JJ following them most of the way back before he went off towards John B’s and June continued straight, with a quick wave behind her.

Olivia had practically jumped out of the car before she had even parked so now, June answered her phone, unbuckling her seatbelt.

“Hey,”

“Hey!” Topper said on the other end, “I wanted to see how everything went. I stopped by your house just a little bit ago, but your car wasn’t in front.”

June groaned, “That’s because we just now pulled in. The practice was great! Everyone was so talented and I got to meet a couple of instructors. It was really cool.”

“That’s amazing, bub.”

“Yeah, it really was.”

“What took you so long getting home?”

“Oh, uh. I just had some car trouble, no biggie.”

“Oh, is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just needed a quick jump and then we were on our way.” June chuckled, nervously. She hadn’t even thought to call Topper when her car wouldn’t start. Truthfully she hadn’t thought to call anyone, but she still felt nervous to tell him what happened.

“So someone had cables? That’s pretty lucky.” He pressed.

“Uhm. No, actually. We had to call JJ for some help and then we were good to go. It drove perfectly on the way home.”

There was a pause before he spoke again, “You could’ve called or texted me.”

“I didn’t want to bother you. I wasn’t even the one who called JJ, it was Liv.”

“Well, I could’ve helped.”

“It’s fine, really.”

“I would’ve called a mechanic for you, had someone come out and get you.”

“And I would have really appreciated it,” June laughed nervously, “Next time I promise I will call you.”

He stayed silent for a long time before speaking, “It’s just your first thought wasn’t to call your boyfriend. Forgive me if I’m a little upset.”

She pondered over his words for a moment, skipping over the mention of ‘boyfriend,’ “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come off that way.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “yeah, you’re right. I’ll call you in the morning, okay?”

June nodded even though he couldn’t see her and hung up the phone. She huffed, threw her phone in her bag, and marched up the sidewalk inside.

[chaelinsbitch]

WE SEE EACH OTHER! heartbreaker is just terrible. jiyong himself knows, he barely perform the songs on tour 💀 "jiyong peaked at coup d'etat" (i threw my phone across the room) I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS!!! coup d'etat is so so good, so well put tgt, showcased perfectly his artistry, just 🤌. fandom saying kjy is his best work just lying. it sounds like THE typical k-rapper album.

nah bc youngbae been releasing masterpieces back to back. he NEVER misses. not only the promo for white night was terrible but also it was crickets from vips smh. also change my mind but he birthed so many of these idols that do rnb. he's the real og not enough ppl talk about this.

okay but bb's old albums have real gems. a fool in tears is one of my fav bb song. the day rnbigbang makes a comeback it's OVER.

HELLO MEEEEEE bro I have been holding this in for ages but I just thought kjy was okay 😭😭😭 I'm exposing myself to being the fakest GD stan ever but like......I'm sorry I didn't see much special in the songs n I will skip💀 coup d'etat was so solid and diverse, then releasing kjy so far down the line after that absolute hit of an album? Kinda lackluster :/ (also at his tour when he whipped out heartbreaker I was genuinely shocked lmao) oh dude about youngbae not being recognized as he should Absolutely and it's SO sad how no one ever talks about youngbae like that :/ maybe it's just my garbage memory doing it's thing but before the whole disaster event I don't remember seeing much yb appreciation in terms of idols saying who they look up to? I could be wrong tho. Regardless it should be more lmao we know all these idols were jamming to I need a girl and wedding dress in middle school!

I love A Fool of Tears! I also like She Can't Get Enough, Sunset Glow, Foolish Love, that one song that's like bancha bancha (idk lmao) yo I haven't listened to these in agesssss omg

[castawxayaway]

a longing regret

okay, so this is a combination of two requests (what a twist this is, eh?) basically one was some prompts from the list I reblogged agesssss ago and the other was for angsty dan, so I have combined them together to make this instead. 

p r o m p t s : 

82: Just breathe, okay?

86: Don’t be scared, I’m right here.

i hope you enjoy and that you’re doing well. if you ever want to talk, my messages are open or send an anon, i love talking to you all as you guys are wonderful :)

collection of my writing

​The feeling when the vibrations thud in your chest, making you feel alive. You can feel it in your feet working through your body spreading endorphins of life into your bloodstream. Everyone is in the same space, same energy that flows mixed with the smell of drugs; dirt, sweat and love, all in one contained space. Only here, only tonight does everyone stop doing what they once where, their lives outside are irrelevant as here, right now we are alive.

(an extract from something I’m working on, part of a book possibly)

We all began to weave through the crowds, trying to get to the other stage across the field filled with our hands in each others. Slowly they were slipping, the sweat that line our palms was too recent to let us grip with ease. I found myself losing the lead, my friends were moving too quickly for my feet to tread through the rubbish at their speed. 

Eventually the crowds fizzled into smaller groups, the ground was less cluttered and my own feet were less of a blur. Lifting my head up rather than focusing on where I was standing my friends waited with anticipated written across their expressions; the surprise act of tonight. Throughout the day clues have been dropped, implied about who this act supposedly is, but no one knows for sure. Some have said it would be an unknown band, others have questioned it being a band who weren’t able to come for ‘personal circumstances.’ Personally, I am just happy to be away from the main stage and the blaring and deafening bursts of music that hit you as violently as the people surrounding you do. 

As we near the smaller set it remains blank, the crew check the instruments on stage as a large crowd circle the stage whilst we keep our distance and I play with the ripped cuffs of my hoodie. I can feel it, the creeping of it up my spine, gripping onto my shoulders and refusing to let go. My breath is not delving into the depths of my lungs, it shallow dives rather than explores. Standing still I simply listen to my friends’ queries, their continuous guesses as I keep quiet, a listener as opposed to taking part. 

I glance around, too much. My eyes can’t keep still whilst my body is paralysed, it doesn’t feel right, it feels as if something, something is going to go wrong. The longer we are left in the dark, the uneasy blindness I felt my palms clamming up, the intensity of the crowd though smaller than the main stage, still overwhelming. I couldn’t stop observing the strangers, the ones with clear plastic bags with unprescribed pills, the clouds of smoke that would rise into the air distorting the stage ahead of me. The ones who looked at body parts too long, who gawped as opposed to glancing; those are the ones who make my skin crawl. 

Snapping out of my gaze everyone began to make more noise, the cheers for the unknown became louder, those around us moved closer and I was being suffocated. I focused on the stage rather than my friends, one asked if I was okay and all I could do was nod, no sound could be made. “Just breathe, okay? You know you can.” Closing my eyes I could hear his words, despite it all he knew how to help- even if I hate to admit it. 

A drum beat began and I opened one eye, too hesitant to immerse myself fully as I felt people budge by me, their skin brushing against mine causing more goosebumps to form. In the back of my mind I knew it, the bass was next, a few notes struck. More instruments joined, and as it registered in my head, as I opened my mouth to plead to my friend to leave with me the crowd’s cheers were too overwhelming. 

Locking my eyes with the stage there he was, the person who I haven’t seen in over a year. Who I swore to not see again, who knew I would come to this festival. How could he resist? He walks along the stage, slowly dancing along to the beat before belting a single note causing the people around me to scream with joy whilst I remain as silent as I possibly can. “You okay?” My friend yells to me with worry flickering in her eyes. All I do is shake my head, unable to hear anymore of the finished track rather than the rough demo. 

As my friend leads me out I can hear him faltering, it may be a fairly big crowd, but it’s small enough in comparison to the main stage to notice who you want to. Walking in silence over to the brick wall through the trail of used packaging and discarded broken cups I sit in the damp grass, wanting to feel something to distract myself, distract the memories. 

“So, what do you think?” The sheer hesitation, the nerves and intense wonder locked in his eyes as he asked me once it had finished playing. All I can remember is being at a loss for words, it was so different, contrasting their previous album, but I loved it. “Okay either you’re having a stroke or you hate it.” He chuckled uneasily and I simply kissed him, unable to put it into words. “Well, I take that as a good thing.” He wore a smug smile for the rest of the afternoon as he went through all of the possibilities for the album, that there would be one song for me potentially, yet he’d never tell me which. 

Shaking my shoulder lightly I realised where I was, collapsed against a rough wall decorated with tour posters for those performing here over the course of the weekend. “Wanna talk about it?” My friend asked, clearly unsure how to take it. 

My eyes remained glossy, yet undetectable in the night sky. I shake my head and pull my sunglasses down, disguising the tears that roll down my cheeks as I keep a straight face. “You go, enjoy it.” I try to say with kindness, but the lump in my throat only thickens, grows as the sincerity fades. “I’ll head back to the tent soon, I just need some time alone.” 

Watching my friend walk away I lift my head, focusing on the stars rather than his voice. Once it was the other way around. We’d sit on the short balcony, a blanket wrapped around us as he told me about the places he’d seen, the places I should go to. All I would do is focus on the wonder written in his expression, ignoring the beauty of the stars winking, wishing to be noticed. Yet now it is reversed, I can feel him drawing me back in, a nagging sensation on my hoodie rather than a tight grip. 

I zone out from it all, I block out the music, the people who pass me and make comments. Those who offer me things, those who try and join me briefly. All I focus on is my breathing, the one thing that I can’t control no matter how hard I try to. Keeping my eyes tightly shut I run through it all, the things I was advised to do if this happened again. The first thing was don’t panic, don’t freak out. Neither were successful as I felt my heartbeat increasing dangerously, my mind was going cloudy and vision blurring as a result. I close my eyes again, deciding it is a better alternative, in my fogged imagination I can see what I need to see as opposed to the reality of where I am. 

“Don’t be scared, I’m right here.” It’s familiar, too apparent, too close. A hand is on my shoulder, keeping my eyes closed I wrap my arms tightly around them, not wanting to let go. Lightly they ran their hand through my hair and down my back, “Breathe with me, you know how.” The whisper was comforting, I could see myself back on my little balcony wrapped in a blanket. Thick fluffy socks covering my feet protecting them from the gentle breeze as I watch the stars flicker with hope, with any possibility that lies ahead. 

“Why did you come back?” I whisper in between shaky breaths, yet I keep a tight hold on him. His top clings to his back like my arms do, he doesn’t let go of me either. The same old aftershave is still there, the light hint of musk wrapped in sweat and adrenaline. “I thought you’d keep well away, knowing I was here.” 

There was a pause as I zoned in on conversations of those in the distance, some commenting on particular songs, on him or on the other shows. I kept hearing the same thing, the same comment being made. ‘he looked sad’ not just he, but him, Dan. 

“I, I shouldn’t have let you go like that.” He spoke into my hair as I focused on the now empty stage, everyone having dispersed into groups wandering off somewhere else leaving this space secluded, isolated. “And never have even bothered to explain it all.” I removed my arms from him and slowly he knelt back, sitting before me. 

Looking at him this close, in person rather than pixilated on a screen or in the distance on stage was unnerving. This close I can see it all, I can see the few freckles, the dimple, the pain that juxtaposes the brightness of his eyes. Up close you can see the flaws, the things that make him human and not just another musician. But, this close I can see the memories, the reason we broke up. The pain, the sheer heartache that we were both left with and the nights I spent indoors looking at my balcony, too afraid to be there alone. 

“Then why did you? Why did you just give up so easily?” My words came out bitter, more so than I had hoped. He lowered his head, sweat glistening across his forehead even in the poor lighting from the rails of bunting above us. 

We sit in an uncomfortable silence, one that I wish to end, but it’s his turn to do the talking, to explain for once. “We were trying, weren’t we? Touring and working on the new album. I could see it in your eyes, the look you had fading-” He pauses and I remain quiet, the fog clearing to see him for him, not the person I had envisioned after all this time. 

“So you’re going to blame me?” I scoff, unable to hide the irritation. 

“No, I’m not blaming you. I knew how hard it was on you when I was thousands of miles away. Don’t you think I felt guilty? You were at one of your lowest points and I couldn’t even be there for you.” Regret resigns in his tone as he casts me back to that time. Leaving the house was a struggle then, I could barely get myself out of bed at times and when I did I felt overwhelmed. “Remember when I’d come home?” Moving my mind away from that he focused on a happier moment. 

I can’t deny myself of the small smile that forms on my face, “You’d bring something back from every city you went to. Sometimes dried flowers, sometimes a patch for my blanket. Postcards, wine, a perfume, a pebble.” Listing the various things he’d bring it felt like he was bringing me a sentiment of the places I was too anxious to visit. I could experience them all through him, through his stories in my lowest of days. 

“Do you,” Lifting my head I focus back on him, back on the person who would listen to my nonsense over the phone. Who would try and do a ballroom dance with me in my small flat. “do you still have the blanket?” I nod in response, knowing exactly where it was- back in my tent. A home comfort.

“I, I take it everywhere.” I state and rather than words being a response he smiles, something I can not deny missing. “Do you, do you regret letting us go?” Shifting my gaze down to my hands I pull on the cuffs of my hoodie once again, I play with the holes, the broken stitches to distract myself in case he says what I expect. 

“Every time I play the song I wrote for you, every time I see the stars in the sky when I’m in a new city as I know you’re back at home looking at them too. When I hear a gentle piano play a classic tune that you’d try and teach me to dance to. Any flowers that are bright and full of life that you would keep in vases all over the flat to cheer yourself up.” Locking my eyes with his all I see is sincerity, the pure in the azure that is never ending. You could dive deep into the blue pits of his eyes and find nothing but truth, there was no longer a flicker of regret, no distaste or lies. 

Only the person I once knew, the person I fell in love with all those years ago.