#PLEASE I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE

[isat-valid-sadness-names]

vomir

"Vomir" is a valid Sadness name but WHY???????????????

[rendoas]

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[kaerik]

All of Hell's layout shots from Edwin's journal, in order

Heya! I needed to take some screenshots for reference when writing a fic, so I thought it'd be nice to share :)

(Under the cut I've added everything I could make out in the writtings)

"LAYERS OF HELL" across two pages. These are based on Dante's Inferno, the first part of Divine Comedy, and the nine circles of hell. (Shout out to my friend who helped me with the 10 "rooms" of Fraud <3)

Left page:

- Vestibule (unnumbered, right on top of Limbo, referring to the staircase)

I - Limbo

II - Lust

III - Gluttony

IV - Avarice

V - Wrath

VI - Heresy

VII - Violence

VIII - Fraud

IX - Treachery

- There are 10 "rooms" described between Violence and Fraud, referring to the 10 trenches of the eight circle of hell (Fraud) and numbered as such.

Room I reads: whipped.

Room II reads: covered in excrement.

Room III reads: flipped (?) feet set on fire.

Room IV reads: encased(?) in boiled pitch.

Room V reads: head turned backwards.

Room VI reads: wear lead robes.

Room VII reads: snake(?) pit turn(?) into snake.

Room VIII reads: (?) big flames.

Room IX reads: (?) -> quality is too low to tell; considering the trench of which it is based on, probably along the lines of 'mangled', 'mutilated', 'maimed', etc

Room X reads: leprosy, hungry(?), dark.

Right page:

- Endless staircase

- "UPPER HELL" encompassing layers I to IV.

Beside layers III and IV, read: heavy labour(?), everyone in your way

- "LOWER HELL" encompassing layers V to IX.

Beside layers VI and VII, read: trapped, impaled, submerged in blood. Beside layer VIII, read: snake pit, gain human form by biting other humans. Beside layer IX, read: frozen + stuck + chewed on

Left page:

- LIMBO

Right page:

- "DO NOT RING" is crossed out near a bell. Dashed line points to where the bell is on the room.

Left page:

- Arrow pointing to the claw machine, referencing the passage behind it. Note reads: Back to Doll House. No.

- Circle on the bottom right, just above a door: Wrong way. AVARICE. Everything too heavy.

- GLUTTONY

Right page:

- LUST

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about how deeply lucanis' life has been defined by a lack of control of that life -- as he himself points out, even before the ossuary went and carved the headline out again with big bloody letters. of course he reacts badly to losing what little control he did manage to construct for himself even within those circumstances.

(namely: experience has taught him that things (caterina, loss, pain, love, all horribly and indelibly intermingled) will happen to him whether he wants them to or not and there's nothing he can do about that... but he gets to decide what's let in or out of his soul as it happens, even if he has to close it all down and deaden and numb himself out in the process. (even if that means he drifts further and further away from illario, who's been desperately reaching out and trying to keep hold of him until he finally gives up completely and tries to cut the bond all at once when lucanis doesn't seem to reach back anymore.) it's such rare well-observed freeze logic solidly constructed from the bottom up, I'm still so impressed with it.

the way illario seeks constant external means to cope with caterina's abuse and importance in his life -- he can't win her admiration or acceptance or warmth (or like. acknowledgement even, at times :') ), no matter what, so he goes out and finds those things in others and then disdains and dismisses it for how easily and falsely it's won from them. he plots, he conspires, he tries to beat her at her own game however clumsily, he tries. lucanis doesn't try things that way. he's not about 'how do I improve my situation' by nature, he's 'how can I stop this from getting worse'. he avoids, he internalizes, he hunkers down and makes himself nothing until the pain maybe ends. he's fundamentally not a plotter, he's a reacter. an expert assassin pantser, if you will, to illario's clear and stated exasperation fhsak. man I love them. illario says 'get us out of here!!! if you loved me as I love you you'd help me get us out of here before it kills us both', lucanis says 'there is no other place, there's nowhere to go, all we can do is endure. and if it kills us... well, that's just family. that's what love is (the way things are headed I'll die first anyway so it's fine I won't have to face losing you)', and they're equally baffled and hurt by each other's POV. but they're both right, and they're both wrong. there's no 'right' way to deal with caterina's treatment of them, or their situation. the house always wins, if you pardon the expression. house dellamorte still stands and that is what matters to caterina in the end more than anything.

it also fits so well b/c like... their core wounds are that illario is the least favourite and is constantly dismissed, so he has to prove to caterina again and again that he matters. not even that he's worth love or respect or warm regard, but that he's here at all and as such should be considered. he has to shout 'in case u forgot I EXIST!!' at the top of his lungs or else be rendered nothing within the family structure (and himself, because it's all about family, that's all that really matters. in some weird twisted way I think caterina openly declaring him before all the other crows to still be of house dellamorte -- and no one from house dellamorte kneels -- is kind of a victory for him, as much as it's also a furthering of a prison sentence and public humiliation. house dellamorte brainfuckery goes hard.). lucanis is the favourite, and it's the double-edged sword that he gets all the affection and attention but also all the control and impossible expectations. drowning under all of that constant stress and close evaluation, his brain whispers 'I don't exist' to try to escape, to hide and hold on to the deep parts of himself that are crucial to life but not part of the perfect grandson caterina demands of him as the price of her love.)

I think a lot about how what seems to disquiet lucanis the most post-ossuary (as it would anyone with that psychological makeup) is the dissolving of internal boundaries and control he's been relying on, which is part of what spite symbolizes. his anger and reactivity has seceded from the union to the point of personification as a little guy (a little guy he resents and fears for his unpredictability and invasions into regions of his psyche he wishes to stay frozen and barren, and yet cares about deeply, loves! and also constantly dismisses and frequently helplessly lets down unless he's helped to learn to do otherwise. does this remind you of another relationship in his life, perhaps. it makes me feel nuts to think about the illario/spite parallels thanks for asking), and now that little guy is out there running the show freely the moment he glances away or closes his eyes. literal nightmare scenario I feel for him so deeply. so much of his coping is predicated on being able to Not do or feel or want certain things, and that's out the window now, Spite has Opinions. Spite refuses to stay wisely in place even if that place is hell on the logic that if you move you could find yourself in a place that's even worse, somehow. Spite actually wants to experience the world, however fucked up and scarring the way he arrived here, not just endure it. Spite means he has to face that maybe illario wasn't wrong all those years, at the same time as having to admit and face what illario has done to him, and figure out what to do about any of it.

anyway. mary kirby ma'am that's some good fucking metaphor work. thank you, and sorry about all the shit that happened

[starry-bi-sky]

Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)

TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.

(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)

This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.

---------------

Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.

....

The kid is a surprise though.

Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.

There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.

The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.

The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.

He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.

A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.

At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.

Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.

Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"

The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."

Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.

"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."

He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.

The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.

"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.

The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.

Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.

The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.

Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."

[runninglikeabuckley]

possibly hot take, but if/when they resurrect bobby, i would love it they didn't have athena's reaction be anger (which imo makes sense and obviously angela bassett would eat that storyline). i'd love if she just got to be happy lmao and maybe consider a career change. what i'd love to see is if BUCK is angry when bobby comes back. because bobby MADE him leave. buck took eddie wondering if he (eddie) could have done anything to save bobby, is because buck didn't. he didn't do everything he could to save bobby! bobby asked him not to! he asked buck to be strong, to take care of his team, and to let bobby have time with his wife. and we've seen how much buck is struggling, so imagine the ANGST if bobby comes back and instead of uncomplicated relief to have him back, buck is struggling to forgive him. for leaving, for telling buck to respect his wishes and let him die, for putting the weight of the team on his shoulders (in buck's mind). the angst!! there hasn't been a buck-bobby conflict since the lawsuit really, but they have such a good dynamic and its SOOO good and compelling to watch it come under pressure. also chim could be brought in as a parallel, given his anger with bobby pre-resurrection but i feel like given maddie and his kids it's harder for him to hold his anger once bobby is back (or give me a full buck chim storyline where they bond in a weirdly toxic way over bobby coming back, that would SLAP). ALSO!!! wouldn't it be convenient if there was another recent complicated father-son conflict that the show never fully resolved?? wouldn't it be interesting if there was someone who could relate to buck feeling betrayed by his father's actions?? or a father who could relate to bobby's catholic upbringing and sense of guilt over his son specifically, even though he never meant to hurt him?? wouldn't that be crazy

[benevolenterrancy]

Hi I have caught up to you on having feelings about Zhuzhi-Lang. He's a good boy! 🥺 Good snake boy! 🥺 I had the thought, after Zhuzhi let SQQ leave after SQQ yelled at him... what if they Stole Him. What if.

(Also have you read/been recommended anything by corduroyserpent yet? Big writer of Zhuzhi-Lang fics, including a very cute de-aged Zhuzhi-Lang and some zhushen)

Justifications of bride-stealing!

(AND HE'S THE BEST BOY 😭 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, SO MUCH!! have some further au thoughts because this has contaminated my brain...)

What I think would actually happen if they stole SQQ? Absolutely nothing good for anyone, LBH would Lose His Fucking Mind xD as a more interesting answer though, I like the idea that Shen "Pedantic Nitpicky Asshole" Qingqiu's primary point of argument is that he is not a bride so he cannot be "bridenapped" regardless of demonic tradition or intention!

This eventually leads to them all completely avoiding the Maigu Ridge incident because TLJ realizes that, somehow, SQQ doesn't realize the depths of his son's feelings for him and decides to put all his efforts into being a wingman for his nephew instead because he finds the entire thing absolutely hilarious and rather satisfying after his own sad romance. Obviously someone like SQQ would do much better with his good, loyal nephew than the disappointing offspring of that disastrous relationship!

As for ZZL he just has to assume that LBH must not be treating SQQ anywhere near the way he should be (and like... he isn't wrong at this point, there is a non-zero amount of torture and terror going on here) if SQQ doesn't see himself as being tied to LBH in any way. And if he's not attached to LBH then there's absolutely no reason he shouldn't make his own efforts to seduce SQQ! After all, if LBH isn't valuing SQQ properly then obviously ZZL has to step up because someone as kind as SQQ deserves the best!!!

[rathologic]

Who tf is farkhad 😭

he's just this guy, you know? 🔽

Farkhad, so called after the Persian literary figure Farhad who famously built a staircase, is an architect (not-)appearing in the Pathologic franchise.

Fundamental Farkhad Facts:

"Farkhad" isn't his real name; we don't know his real name.

Farkhad is dead long before the player arrives.

Farkhad was employed by the Kains to build the Stillwater and the Cathedral.

Farkhad had his own vision for expanding the town over the bank of the Gorkhon River, which conflicted with the Stamatins'.

In Pathologic, the cause and manner of Farkhad's death are ambiguous. Grace is the only person who ever refers to him as "Farkhad" in dialogue (to say that he likes the color red); notably, the Stamatins don't! Peter describes him as follows:

A guild fellow of mine… his ardour was disproportionate to his talent… You see, he nearly convinced the rulers to grant him that side of the river for his project… Yes, he deserved to die. But I didn't kill him… [...] They say he fell down from a great height and broke his neck. That's how he died. I've also heard a rumour that he got lethally intoxicated with bad twyrine…

He has an elaborate tomb in the Graveyard with the following memorial (original left; translation by Halfgild Wynac on the right).

Pathologic 2 got rid of basically all the interesting ambiguity here by having Peter confess without provocation that he and Andrey killed Farkhad (Day 4). In addition to Peter, Eva refers to him as "Farkhad" in dialogue. If Peter dies, the player is given a quest to give Andrey a key from him with "F." scratched into its surface, presumed to be related to Farkhad (although we never see the payoff of this).

A talented corpse. A capable architect, though far below my league. He built the Cathedral. My brother and I built [Farkhad's grave]. Killed him ourselves, buried him ourselves.

Farkhad is popular in fanon largely because of "Fourfold Bullet", a mistake character dynamic between him and Andrey-Daniil-Peter where he's like, a seductive twink/apparition in dream-spaces/polyvalent metaphor. He doesn't have any canon appearance, but is often drawn as Persian due to the story of his name -- which rules (but often strikes me as poorly handled with the above fanon where your One Persian Guy is smoking "exotic" drugs and exists only in sexually charged relation to white men). farkhad in myyy heart is old and balding.

Bonus Non-Canon Farkhad Fact (it's from the p1 Bachelor alpha but doesn't appear in the final game): Simon originally gave the Stillwater to Eva's mother Vera when Vera was young, so Farkhad probably finished building that one some 30+ years ago. See previous paragraph!

[mollypaup]

i think a really great aspect of oofuri is how much it gets mihashi's ass for being overly timid and dependent. it would be really easy to write off the way he and abe interact as being abe's fault because he is overbearing, and a lot of people do, but it has some really great moments of going "hey, you cannot hide behind abe or depend on him to make every decision. it's not good for you, or him, or the team."

[anewp0tat0]

the way they almost had me bawling and we aren't even at the worst part HOW am I gonna make it

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

pray for me please

[miitopiaenjoyer]

(Drops this and sprints away at full speed)

CW for slight flashing lights and potential eyestrain; the flashing is brief, but a fair few of the scene transitions are quite abrupt, and some of the frames may have a flickering effect. I’ve done my best to minimize this, but please exercise caution and stay safe! More CWs are listed in the description of the video.

You've all been massive inspirations to me, and I couldn't have done this without everyone's support. Thank you all so much for being here. I hope you enjoy!! :D

[p0rk-guts]

Okay I get it the end knocked all our tits clean off but WE CAN'T JUST GLOSS OVER THIS. LETS CIRCLE BACK GUYS.

WHAT. THE FUCK. WAS THIS.

[soft--dogs]

i have more heartbreaking things going on in my personal life, one of my closest friends is in the hospital now. her parents have been texting me that her health is declining and things are looking very uncertain. she has been battling cancer since 2015, and has been in steadily declining health since then. it's so unfair, we were just making plans for christmas and new years parties, it can't end this quickly. i'm not ready to say goodbye.

[carnage-cathedral]

so I guess we're going to the emergency vet???????? because apparently the universe is just trying to take away the only things I love