#Preston bitch boy

[barbara-on-myspace]

Boys being boys.

[broidobe]

𝔧𝔬𝔥𝔫𝔫𝔶 𝔨𝔫𝔬𝔵𝔳𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔢 𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔦𝔫 𝔞 𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔞𝔩 𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔡

not requested, just for funsies!

⁎⁺˳✧༚jackass masterlist

when i say this man is CRAZY about your band, i mean it.

from constantly promoting it in jackass

to wearing your band tees 24/7

this man is sooooo supportive

he has even cancelled shooting days for jackass to go to your shows

I mean c’mon, he’s a hardcore lover boy

johnny will pull the most insane pranks backstage too

you’ll walk off the stage and he will get preston to jump on top of you, smothering you

and he will just stand there and laugh

when you escape, he will run away because after playing a long show, being covered in sweat and just overstimulated in general, having preston lay on top of you is not ideal. 

you will attack

but he will eventually stop and pull you in for a big ol’ kiss.

this dude will go around the venue telling EVERYONE that you are his girlfriend

ya see that babe? that’s mine and shes soooo fucking great. 

dudeeee did you hear that guttural shit? THAT'S MY WOMAN!

every single time you appear on a magazine cover, he throws a hugeee party.

at the party, he’s constantly with you

as if he’s like some sort of puppy

and dont even mention your so-called groupies. 

johnny, not being the jealous type, takes pride in you having groupies

he would formally introduce himself to them and tell them how good they are at picking women

that's a nice pick. whoever gets that one is one lucky son of a bitch

knowing damn right that he will be getting that.

[ad-astrah]

Finally Watched Cinderella's Castle Digital Ticket (Twice) and I Gotta Get My Feelings Out Somewhere, Somehow (Part I)

Feel free to light up my DMs to chat about it!

And now, for my personal highlights/live reactions:

immediately I'm drawn in by Nick Lang's silly narrator voice and the way he warns us of what's coming. Especially the "muRrrDder!"

Jeff Blim cut his hair. JEFF BLIM CUT HIS HAIR. Not that I didn't like the long locks, but something about his Aladdin Era short hair gets me, man.

Jeff Blim literally getting to own the stage like the man was born to

Jeff Blim's slutty bard getup with the artfully messy hair and the heavy guyliner. That sinful bastard.

"Let's go." I'll follow you anyway, slutty bard.

Okay 80s rock jam! Hell yes.

idk why but I just love the line "There are tales in those walls, are they true or are they tall?"

THIS SET, THO. 80s vibes. Muppets vibes. Princess Bride vibes. Spooky, ethereal fairytale vibes. I love it! Props to the team who designed and built it.

prance, slutty bard boy, prance around that stage.

Jesus Fuck, I've only seen Joey's puppet but I'm already SOLD. Nick and Matt Lang and whoever else had a hand in making these puppets fucking OUTDID themselves! Did they use the Black Book and resurrect Jim Henson?

Throughout the show, the muppet vibes just absolutely amaze and delight me. Makes me feel like a little kid, spellbound by this fairytale. Except it's much darker, more gruesome, way more explicit, and extremely horny.

Oh look, it's Joey's Jingle/Jangle (whichever elf he was) voice from Black Friday.

Love me some o' dat non-binary representation from Ragweed. Starkid once again screaming GAY RIGHTS bitches.

I'm getting some of Jeff's Aragog from AVPS in this Narrator. Anyone else?

Stupid STUPID butcher!

Jon Matteson's accent. *giggles madly*

Angela IMMEDIATELY having to pause for applause before she finishes her first freaking line. The queen deserves it all, though.

The foreshadowing of the Stepmother cutting off Ella's feet. O_O

"It's furryyyyy and fouuuuul and full o' maGOTTTSSaaaaaggghhhh!"

Angela doing the little spinny finger thing in a guy's face to fluster them just like Max did to her character in Nerdy Prudes. I love these physical running gags. My fave being the Smoke Club, though.

OIIIINK oinkoinkoinkoinkoinkoink

Sir Preston asking for help from the audience. His "ELLAaaaaa....nooooo....."

The lighting in this entire show is SO COOL.

Again, Jeff just louging like a whore about the set like its his bitch. I live for it.

James' COSTUME. He looks SO FUCKING GOOD. Props to the costume folks...and to James' rockin' genes.

"But nothing compares to the juice and the hairs..." Oh no. Ohhhhh no I see where this is going. Don't say it, James, don't-- omg he said it.

er ee er ee er ee *window rolling down*

I thought the Prince drawing bewbies on the frosty window was funny already, and then he goes WAH WAH WAH and pretends to pinch them and I fucking lost it.

The Prince checkin' out DAT AZZZZZZ XD

"I'd wager she's wetter now than when I first found her bobbing in the river." OH MY GOD. PRINCE. THAT'S HER NOT-MOM.

If his highness has had every STD and beaten it, that's so fucked up but also damn, that boy's immune system is killin' it. Literally.

"Poor mad EllaAH"

"This is one thirsty FUCKING house." For real, omg.

"The offer stands firm. Come calling if you are!" *screams*

Jeff miming being crew and pulling the ropes for the curtains.

*audience member sneezes* "Bless you."

Angela's diction is next fucking level. PUNY. PINK. KIND.

The epic troll reveal! The puppets are SO GOOD.

THE FROG FUCKING TURNING AWAY AS SHE ASKED FOR IT TO DO SO SHE COULD KILL IT. CHRIST.

This bayou boogie song of Ella's is an absolute KILLER BOP. Holy shit. And it's SO perfect for Bryce's funky, sassy voice.

Speaking of which, BRYCE'S VOCALS. I'm gonna scream about them for forever and ever and ever. I love her voice SO FUCKING MUCH. I could listen to nothing else for the rest of my days and die a happy little gay.

"ohhhh woah woah waohhh" *flips the bird* She's such a queen for that.

"It needs oregano" WORK BITCH

Bryce's stage presence is fucking INSANE. I dunno how she's not on Broadway, but thank goodness we got her!

SIRE MANY TADPOLES!

GOD I love this absolutely depraved, horny little bastard of a prince.

It's amazing Tadeus hasn't murdered the prince yet. The man deserves a medal for the literal shit he's put up with.

Bugette?! I thought you choked on shit died and were consumed by the Hive Queen?

Rancilda being a typical troll and loving lurking under bridges and telling riddles.

Schuyler Sister vibes from the song with Justine and Lucy. So cute.

Justine and Lucy are SUCH real ones for IMMEDIATELY believing Ella about her family being trolls and for saying "fuck the ball, we're leaving NOW."

Shake dat ass, Mariah!

Lauren's physical comedy as Rancilda is NEXT LEVEL. I'm wheezing over here!

iSNn'tT it A BiiIItTcH?!

I LOOK GOOD IN THIS. What an absolute fucking BANGER. This song is gonna play in my head on repeat for the next decade. What a next level villain song.

Also this gives me some strongass Joan Jett vibes. "I love wearin' the skin of dead girls rock 'n' roll!"

and I hEEeaARr yoU'Re RiiiCCHhH

Seriously, is this the next Top Chart breakup revenge song? It should be.

"I really LIKE that song!" XD Putrice. I love how much of an absolute BIMBO she is.

Rancilda singing the song again. "SHUT UP STUPID BITCH, THE SONG'S OVER." "Okaaaaiiii"

Matt Dahan's ability to riff off the main songs and create motifs is otherworldly.

General MacNamara? Is that you?! Oh wait, nope. Still my slutty, slutty bard.

I LOOOOOOOVE this badass electric guitar intro, holy shit.

Kim Whalen, the queen, getting the bitchin' entrance she deserves.

Starkid is so, so good at their sound design to help immerse you in a scene without blowing a big budget or doing anything elaborate.

...Kim. My girl. Your arms must be tired.

She's just standing there, but Kim's stage presence is still so strong.

I can't get over how Jon's Sir Hops-A-Lot's voice is just a small...ahem. Hop, skip, and a jump away from Wiggly's.

JOEY. THAT ACCENT. You ABSOLUTE genius idiot. I love you for this stupidass voice.

Joey's bowl cut makes me giggle like mad.

I love these two puppets SO much.

GIT IT, KIM.

The call and response bit with Ella and the Goddess reminds me of Hamilton when Washington is dictating his Farewell Address. I know it's gotta be in other musicals, too, but that's the clearest comparison for this nerd at the moment.

Jeff sneaking in the "castle on a hill" song reference in this song.

Kim and Bryce dueting together is just Power incarnate. Holy cow. It's so good.

"You shall be as radiant and terrible as I." Ooooooh. Yes. Gimme.

The Narrator sneaking out from amidst the ensemble to finish off the song was really neat.

That fading spotlight before curtain for intermission with just Ella's face in view is so beautiful and haunting. What an epic close to Act I.

Also, it seems like this was also a strategic way to imply Ella's outfit being transformed there on stage during the song without actually having to do the tricky costume designing quick-change theater miracles of an ACTUAL outfit transformation. Which is really brilliant. Leave the audience to wonder until post-intermission about what Ella's starlight dress will look like.

[ibbity]

it is fo4 screenshot o'clock my good bitches

I suspect that this person in East Boston Prep School was not in fact having a fine time

some other people here seem to have been having a fine time tho

a blackboard in the same school with my Railroad codename crossed out? and a question mark

At Poseidon Energy there was a chair with "Glory" and some question marks on the wall next to it. maybe some kind of connection?

there was a dead Minuteman in a cage with a MM symbol on the floor at Mass Bay Medical Center :( why is one of my guys dead here there was no indication as to what the deal was

I took Preston to Vault 81 and he decided to be a Helpful Boi

After we got home to Starlight Drive-in he was practicing his levitation skills

[the-overanalyzer]

If you're still taking the character asks adam, may I request your boy Bart?

How I feel about this character: Have you ever had a cat that's very skittish around people, but after a lot of time and gentle affection will actively seek you (and you specifically) out to be picked up and cuddled, and the sound of their contented purring can be heard across the room? The feeling you get pressing your face into that soft fur is how I feel looking at Bartholomew H Allen II.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Kon, Tim, Preston, Carol, Rose when they want to annoy her dad, Evil-Eye when they want to annoy his granddad.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Kon! Even among the core four they have the most in common and the most similar personalities. They've both sacrificed themselves heroically saving the universe, they both remember the preboot universe unfiltered...even when they're not in love they're soulmates and best friends for life (five lives between them, at this point)

My unpopular opinion about this character: He is so much more of a bitch than people paint him as. I blame the loss of the thought bubbles during the Teen Titans '03 era.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: Oh boy, narrowing it down to just one is difficult, but this one has bothered my for a while. Now, Fastest Man Alive went with rapid-aging (presumably for, if I want to be generous to that creative team, narrative symmetry) but Infinite Crisis itself explicitly says that Bart and Wally were guarding Prime's prison for years, and I really wish that time had been explored. What was it like for Bart to have to work so closely with Wally after kind of avoiding that for such a long time? How did Bart feel being given the Flash mantle? How did Wally feel, being able to pass it on and focus on his family, something Barry never got the chance to do?

(I went looking for these panels just so I could be sure I was remembering right)

This is an extension of a broader complaint I have about DC and their unwillingness to deal with a character's absence, either in-universe with Bart and Wally here (and with Jon Kent about a decade later), or out-of-universe (like with Barry himself after Final Crisis, or with Bart and Wally again in the Rebirth era) in anything but the most boring, frictionless way.

[snowyknight-17]

I’m gonna leave this WIP here for a bit…

NSFW under the cut

Featuring Hancock and other FO4 mentions

“Let me ask you something,” John sat lazily on his sofa drawing another puff from his cigarette; eyes hooded under a tilted tri-corner hat,

“Why me?” Hancock paused for affect watching Annie twiddle her thumbs and pull at her jacket,

“You come all this way for a tussle all the while passing up 3 to 4 other dicks on much prettier men.”

Annie only now realized she’d been holding her breath and let it out loudly; but before she could make her plea John put out his cig and lit another.

It was hard to not notice how smooth Hancock moved, like water, and Annie was here to swim.

“For instance, that ‘holier then thou��� Paladin of yours. Yeah I see him get an eyeful every time you turn around, big lumbering soldier gets all pink in the cheeks when you take lead. Or that boss of his,”

Hancock snapped his fingers trying to remember Elder Maxson’s name,

“Elder Scarface. I fuckin hate that bigot but don’t mean he wouldn’t turn to putty the second you touched his shoulder. Guy’s so frickin tightly wound, I bet he’d cum by the fifth bounce. Sure he acts like a war tactician, bloodline bred for excellence, deathclaw slayer but I’d bet my last cap he’d turn into a little red faced bitch/sub underneath you.”

The conjured image was not unpleasant. Maxson begging for release, reduced to a tear stained, blubbering mess. Hands bound of front of him trying to feel any inch of her sweat slicked skin…

Her ears began to beat to the rush of blood to her face, had the room always been this hot?

John was standing over his coffee table, fingering through his stash of chems; amongst the stash were random bullets, poker chips, buttons and a magazine of some porno called “Three’s a crowd”. The cover showed 3 men in a cramped space with the same amount of lust in their eyes that Annie had for Hancock. He pocketed a jet then shot a round of hydra into his shoulder.

Annie remembered the last time they traveled together a couple of months ago. Helping out the folks at The Slog, when suddenly 3 super mutants appeared. They were low on the totem pole though; carrying only one pipe rifle the other two had 2x4’s, so they went down pretty quick, but not before John took a wack to his right side from one of the boards. He recovered fast due to his ghoul flesh, but his shoulder joint would always get stiff in rainy weather. If he would only ask, she would rub it.

Hancock made no sign he’d just been jabbed by a needle. Just rotated his arm adjusting the tight muscle, retuning his cigarette to his lips. Giving her body a quick once over before continuing,

“How about that Boy Scout lieutenant of yours? He’d practically marry you if you asked nicely…”

“Preston is an angel and wouldn’t know how to fuck me into a mattress of his life depended on it.”

John snorted, “Don’t be too sure about that chica. Every time I meander my way to your castle, I can practically feel the buzz coming off him when you’re around. He may be a saint but he’s still a man.”

Preston was Annie’s friend. Her first friend. She knew he wanted more, but she didn’t feel the same. It felt wrong to think of him that way when she had no intention of cultivating a relationship with him.

By now Hancock was close. Close enough to feel his warmth, smell his tobacco, see little stains on his red coat from when he refills the oil lamps. He huffed a final draft of smoke just to the side of her, before dropping and stepping on the butt. He adjusted his hat and looked her in the eye. Black voids meeting pale blues.

“Or perhaps this is a social call for a whole other reason.” His rough hands were barely touching her hips. Gentle caresses over her dirty jeans, his fingers sliding into her back pockets, heat radiating off him now. The front corner of his hat brushing against her hair,

Annie looked up and saw a restraint set in his jaw. As she leaned in to kiss the ghoul, he leaned back away from her mouth, and with a softness asked,

“Any chance you’re here to forget about that doe eyed, southern man you’ve been chasing?”

The mention of Jake sucked the heat out of the room. Annie felt a humid cold spread over her, tears pricked at the corner of her eyes and weakness began to build.

Jake.

Gods she loved him. Wanted him. Needed him; and what’s worse is Jake wanted her too. They kissed once after GNN was won. But Jake had to talk her down from taking more. While he wanted something between them to bloom, he just couldn’t give himself fully until his daughter was found. She understood. Hell she knew better than most what it means to have a child missing; her own son still in the clutches of ‘lord knows where’.

It made her sick to think about. Her baby boy, out there, somewhere. Was he safe? Well fed? Happy? Annie didn’t know. Was she terrible for wanting a distraction now and then in the arms of a lover while her dream guy worked endlessly looking for his baby?

Thick, wet tears trickled down her flush cheeks. They culminated in salty pools in the crease of her mouth only to be swiped away by Hancock’s thumb.

“What makes you think a boozy night with a mug like mine would make the ache go away?” His hands were no longer on her ass but on the small of her back, rubbing soothing circles.

[carewyncromwell]

Really Get To Know Me ask: 2, 4, 8, 10, 21, and 31 (What are your favourite mangas and/or anime TV shows? Or at least, which ones are you planning to try reading or watching?) for Ana, Jasper, and Preston?

Tell me about your first kiss.

[A blush rushes to Ana's cheeks, and even if she tries hard to keep her face straight, she's failing to keep the girly happiness off completely.]

Ana: "...Mmm, well...I've kissed plenty of people on the cheek before -- family, friends, you know. But my first real kiss was with Charlie." @drinkyoursoupbitch

[Yeah, okay, she might not be smiling openly with teeth and everything, but she's totes smiling.]

After that whole fight -- after all the misunderstandings and not seeing things as they were, after all the waiting around thinking it'd never happen...it was like my heart soared out of happiness, the moment our lips locked! Like my whole world burst into bloom! Even if we both were a bit awkward in how we moved, and I had to go on my tiptoes so much of the time so I was leaning against him and he didn't know where to put his hands...somehow with all that, it was still perfect.

Ana: "(quietly, but warmly) ...It was everything I hoped for, when I read stories about love."

[Preston looks noticeably less romantic than his stepsister in response to this question -- if anything, he looks almost contrite.]

Preston: "Er, well...my first kiss was done on a dare, so..."

[Both Jasper and Ana side-eye the heck out of Preston, though Ana looks more more startled and Jasper's expression comes across as much more dry.]

Preston: "(defensively) I wasn't leading anyone on or anything! It was just...well, there was this group of chicks -- mostly from Slytherin -- who were all super anti-Muggle. Like were their folks Death Eaters, no, but they totally agreed with their crap, you know? And they were picking on this one other girl in Ravenclaw -- her name was Keiko Rei. Well, Keiko was in a wheelchair, and over the summer she'd gone to this shop and gotten it tricked out with these really pretty wheels decorated with different water Pokemon!"

[Ana's eyes lit up.]

Ana: "Really?"

Preston: "(laughs) Yeah! It was brilliant! Every Muggle-born thought so -- it made her really popular. But it also pissed off those loser Death Eater-wannabe chicks. So they started harassing her when they could. Did all sorts of garbage, like grabbing her chair from behind to try to throw her out and hexing her wheels so she'd be late for class. Then, one day, the leader of the loser pack -- this girl named Ambrosia Nott -- cornered her in Hogsmeade around the holidays, and crowed loud enough for anyone to hear that Keiko was a good-for-nothing cripple who had to gussy up her chair just to get any boys to look at her."

[Both Preston and Ana look furious.]

Preston: "My friends and I were walking by at that time, so we heard the whole thing. We were all super pissed, and my bud Kevin was like, 'Yo, Presto, I dare you to teach that bitch a lesson.' And yeah, after seeing Keiko start to cry, I really wanted to. So..."

[Preston winced sheepishly.]

Preston: "...I strutted right over to Keiko and acted all sweet with her, calling her 'sweetheart' and complimenting her outfit like I was there to meet her for a date. Then, seeing Ambrosia Nott go red and mad, I looked at her all innocent and said, 'Oh, I'm sorry -- are you feeling left out, Nott? Here -- let me give you a kiss goodbye.' And I kissed her full-on the mouth and pushed her backward. She fell flat on her arse and was so red and stunned that she ran out of the Three Broomsticks crying. Probably traumatized that a blood traitor like me had dared to kiss her. (laughs)"

[Ana is the only one laughing too, but both she and Jasper look incredibly proud of Preston.]

Preston: "But yeah, it wasn't until later I realized I technically gave that blood purist twat my first kiss. But hey, the boys and I hung out with Keiko the rest of that Hogsmeade visit and we became pretty good friends after that, so it all worked out!"

[Jasper takes his time a bit more contemplating the question than the other two.]

Jasper: "...When I was younger...before I transitioned...my first kiss was on the stage, during one of our theater's yearly Shakespeare youth showcases. I was playing Beatrice in a scene from Much Ado. It wasn't great -- the bloke playing Benedict was two years older than me and significantly more awkward, and his braces ended up getting caught on the inside of my lip at one point."

Preston: "(cringes) Wait, what, they did? Eugh!"

Jasper: "(coolly) It was decidedly unpleasant. Fortunately I've had much better kisses since. The mouth-to-mouth 'bout' I had with the actor playing Mercutio while rehearsing fight choreography during a production of Romeo and Juliet comes to mind. I was Tybalt. (smiles mischievously)"

Do you like cooking or baking more?

Jasper and Preston: "Cooking."

Ana: "Baking."

How many languages do you know?

Preston: "I've picked up some conversational Japanese here and there from Keiko! Eigo wo hanashimasu, that kind of thing. It's actually pretty helpful when I watch any anime with Anya. (grins at Ana)"

Ana: "(beams) I like picking up some Japanese from my shows too...though most of that's just the easy stuff, like 'Nani?!' for 'What?!' or 'Ganbatte!' for 'Good luck!'. I've also studied a little bit of Latin, so I could figure out the roots of words and spells I don't know."

Jasper: "Only English, I'm afraid, though I love listening to people speak other languages. There was this one girl at one of the Shakespeare youth showcases who recited Juliet's 'Give me my Romeo' speech in Swedish, and it was glorious."

What's your favorite book?

Preston: "(cheekily) Can you even pick one, Anya?"

Ana: "(frustrated) No! This question is always so hard, because I can never pick just one! Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, The Last Unicorn, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, Pride and Prejudice, Oliver Twist, The Neverending Story...not to mention Shakespeare's works...and if you want to count manga, there's Sailor Moon and Fullmetal Alchemist and Ouran High School Host Club and -- "

Jasper: "(chuckles fondly) When one loves books as much as you do, Anya, it's unsurprising that picking a favorite is difficult."

[Jasper pats his younger stepsister's head fondly.]

Jasper: "Personally my favorite will probably always be Macbeth. I think of all of Shakespeare's plays, I think it's the best written."

Preston: "I'm actually not a huge reader -- that's really more Anya's thing than mine. But I guess I found Muggles Who Notice an interesting read, when I was assigned to write a paper about it in Muggle Studies."

A song that evokes a good memory?

[Jasper, Preston, and Ana all grin at each other -- they all simultaneously know how to answer this.]

All Three: "Rhythm Nation!"

[Preston laughs, while Ana giggles more quietly. Jasper smirks.]

Jasper: "It's our dad's favorite song. He used to play it in the house whenever Preston and I had to clean up our rooms -- like, we had to clean up as much as we possibly could before the song was over."

Preston: "(grins) Whoever Dad judged did the best got a little treat, like an ice cream cone or a new toy."

Jasper: "We still play the song a lot whenever we have to clean up and decorate before our yearly Christmas parties. Our resident Charmsmaster Anya usually wins whenever we do it now."

[He smirks at Ana, who giggles quietly.]

Ana: "(more shyly) A lot of Nightwish's songs bring back good memories too. They've always been my favorite, and I love it whenever we get to play one of them for dancing at our Christmas parties. Charlie and I danced to Swanheart, the first time he came."

What are your favourite mangas and/or anime TV shows? Or at least, which ones are you planning to try reading or watching?

[Oh boy, Ana loves this topic!]

Ana: "Well, my favorite of all time is Sailor Moon. Usagi's always been my favorite. But I also like Cardcaptor Sakura, Pretear, Ouran, Fruits Basket, Princess Tutu...most shoujo, really. I've just started watching a lesser known series called The Royal Tutor as well, and so far it's pretty good!

Jasper: "(nods) Anya introduced me to Fullmetal Alchemist, which is my favorite manga. I personally prefer Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood to the original anime since it follows the manga more closely, but I appreciate the darker tone of the original anime. I also quite enjoyed Death Note when I watched it -- I really like the concept musical based off it."

Preston: "(grins) Keiko turned me on My Hero Academia and now I've gotten kind of addicted. I know it's cliche, but I really vibe with Deku."

Get to Know Me Ask!

[insideanastronautsplaylist]

yknow it really doesn't matter what anybody says about Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978) because I would not love the Beatles' music as much as I do without the existence of this movie

like top ten greatest fever dreams??? lovely cast and amazing voices and everything?? the fucking bee gees (and peter frampton), people, play small town boys going to the big city to become stars

small town boys see hot curvy women for the first time ever (I'm so serious, that's literally what happens)

personally I'm obsessed with the part when they manipulate them into signing record contracts by having them do drugs and drink from comically large glasses

now this performance sequence alone was outstanding. I LOVED "Nowhere Man" after this

and don't get me started on the diamonds

bad bitches right here like the sparkle! the shine! the hair! every single person in this movie has a hair moment and I'm not even exaggerating they all slay a little bit hair department was NOT slacking

I don't even really have a point here I just wanted to include a shot of my favorite character in the whole film (STRAWBERRY ILY)

Steve Martin's unhinged cover of "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" in this movie is possibly the best scene in the whole thing it's so fucking bizarre for absolutely no reason and yet every reason

when I saw this shit for the first time as a small child, I was disturbed. now I'm oddly comforted by it. is this... aging?

I can never forget the evil guy played by Frankie Howerd who kicks it with bad bitch robots

did I mention that EARTH WIND & FIRE WERE IN THIS MOVIE? absolutely and them lil white boys were getting down to it

oh and Aerosmith plays bad guys

AND THEN THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE shows up to fix everything with the power of 70s special effects and zesty lil boots (BILLY PRESTON ILY)

Ok I'm done. I don't get why nobody really liked this movie? It's so fun and playful and honestly pretty on-brand for Beatles music, especially compared to the Yellow Submarine movie, a whole fever dream in and of itself. But I don't really think it matters who liked something, it matters whether you liked it, and I have to say this is one of my top ten movies.

The fact that the soundtrack to this film isn't on Spotify does not surprise me but devastates me every single day.

[msweebyness]

Theater Kid Families

These are the families for my theater kiddos! @artzychic27 @imsparky2002 Enjoy!

Missy:

Axel Rutherford

Raised Missy on his own since his wife (Giulia) died in childbirth

Swimming instructor

Missy's temper comes from him

They argue a lot, but love each other very much

Sees Ondine like another daughter

Jesse:

Imelda Ortega

Possibly the sweetest woman in the world

Except when you hurt her son, ask her ex-husband

Research botanist

Seeing a therapist to work through feelings from her marriage

Good friends with Fred Haprele, Jesse and Mylene ship them

Manolo Ortiz

Massive POS, physically and emotionally abusive

Reason Jesse is blind in one eye

Currently in prison, courtesy of the Tomassians

Involved in a bunch of shady business

(Imelda marries Fred Hapréle before Mylene and Jesse graduate lycée)

Ayesha:

Megan Reynolds

Ray of sunshine gene comes from her

Certified life coach

Talks a bit louder than she needs to

Makes up cheers for household chores

Watches her daughter's cartoons in her free time

Kurt Reynolds

Yoga instructor

Super chill and positive

Serves as a grounding force for his wife and daughter

Likes to doodle with Ayesha

Dot:

Enid Waverly

Could be BFFs with Nathalie, tbh

Event coordinator for a big business

Bun life 24/7, not a hair out of place

Struggles with expressing emotions

Never without her tablet

Orenthal Waverly

Very no nonsense, but more chill than his wife

Prosecuting Attorney for a big law firm

Soft-spoken when not in the courtroom

Keeps fidgets on hand for his older daughter

Dolores Waverly

Much more scatterbrained than her little sister, Dot helps keep her on track

Seriously, would lose her head if it wasn't attached

Deals with some anxiety

Always has at least two books on hand

Petra:

Arlo Markov

Petra's Bio Dad, an old friend was their surrogate

Interior designer, owns a business

VERY energetic, how much coffee does he drink?!

Happy flaps when he's excited

Will smack a bitch for his kid

Dennis Windham

Dad #2, the bear of the group

Junior football coach

Very emotionally intelligent

Usually has his whistle

Preston Manheim

Dad #3, the voice of reason

Very prim, always uses proper grammar. High class boi

Loves him some argyle and tea

Soft-spoken, but people listen to him

Curator of an art gallery

Trent Knapp

Dad #4, the hippie dad

Plays the mandolin, writes songs for his partners

New Age Philosophy teacher

Speaks like a fortune cookie, tbh

Anais:

Olive Ackerman

Celebrated particle physicist

Expects nothing but absolute perfection from her child

Think of Nicole Watterson's parents and Ming Lee, combined

Refuses to believe she's doing anything wrong

Praise is very controlled and limited

Quentin Ackerman

Chemist, very respected in the field

Secretly feels they may be too hard on Anais

Too scared of his wife to say anything, tho

Tries his best to bond with Anais over their shared interests

Roxie:

Richard Richter

Manager of a music store

Gives guitar lessons on the weekends

Actually a pretty chill dude

Good friend of Anarka, they had a band as teens

Can think up lyrics on the spot

Rydel Richter

Contemporary piano teacher

Roxie gets their temper from her

Strong enough to throw a table if needed

HATES Roxie's ex with a burning passion

Mama Bear

Rover Richter

Curious about everything, always has to ask why

Wants to be a drummer, carries around sticks

Has trouble sitting still

Will kick Roxie's ex in the shins on sight

Anthony:

Sylvie Mathis

Diplomat from England

The epitome of a proper British lady

Very supportive of her son, he got her into punk rock

Adores Jesse like her own son

Can play a mean game of foosball

Bradley Mathis

Diplomat from England

A bit more laidback than his wife

MEGA Cockney accent

Knows everything about the Beatles

Makes the best tea ever

Eri:

Hiroshi Tanaka

Screenwriter for an Indie studio

HUGE nerd but also really cool

Has never missed a play by his daughter or wife

Trivia champ, could rival Max

Sasami Tanaka

Celebrated stage actress, has done 215 (and counting) different shows and productions throughout her life

Every bit as dramatic as her daughter

Loves to quote plays in everyday life

Dresses to impress, always

Ryuji Tanaka

Eri's twin, just as goth but more subdued

Cosmetology student, attends a different school

Talks with his sister every day

Snark besties with Anthony

Candace:

Laurent Fletcher

Antique dealer, owns several successful branches and establishments

Charmingly British and a bit awkward

Has ridiculously high patience

Loves Candace as much as his bio sons

Sandra Fletcher

Former top-selling musician, now owns her own restaurant

Might spoil her kids a bit

Cried with joy when Candace became head cheerleader

Attends every pep rally

Finnick Fletcher

Ten-year old mechanical genius, looks up to Max

Always needs to have something to do, has ADHD

Always trying to help his stepsister, doesn't always succeed

Very close with his brother

Ferdinand "Ferdie" Fletcher

Rarely ever speaks, and only to his family

Knows FSL and ASL

Artsy kid, always drawing on something

Actually really smart

Soo-Yeon:

Eun-Jeong Park

Professional restorator, has a meticulous eye for detail

Speaks when something needs to be said

INSANELY flexible for some reason

Helps his son practice on their hoop at home, he used to play in high school

Mi Cha Park

Every bit as clumsy as her son, seriously, babyproof that house

Stay-at-home mom who sells her handmade snowglobes on Etsy

Cheering the loudest for her son at his games

Can kick both her husband and son’s butts on the court

Margo:

Leif Jorgensen

Professional contractor

Very jovial and kind to everyone around him

Can have his head in the clouds sometimes

He TALL, but somehow not intimidating

Besties with his daughter

Dagny Jorgensen

Artisan woodcarver, owns a successful business

Loves doing DIY projects with her daughter

Slips into Norwegian when frustrated

Most down-to-earth of the family

Staci:

Bai Kwan

Staci gets her sass from him

Political commentator for TVi, cannot stand Alec. Hates Bourgeois too

It’s a game at the studio to try and get him to laugh

He only laughs or smiles around his family

Yumei Kwan

Owns a local cafe, the fave for quality Chinese food

Takes no one’s shit, but also super perky

A former cheer squad flyer who helps Staci work out

People wonder how they’re related sometimes

Parker:

Col. Levi Beauregard

Big, strong military man

Speaks in all the military jargon

Surprisingly warm with his kids

Does obstacle courses with Parker

Cissy Beauregard

Retired army nurse, now works at DuPont

Meticulously keeps medical records of all students

Rose sees her like an aunt of sorts

Still uses military jargon

Jack Beauregard

Going into the army after high school

Strained, but loving relationship with his younger sister

Very tall and buff

Always trying to impress his father

Taught Parker self-defense

Brecken:

Anahera “Annie” Sutcliffe

Adopts a crap ton of random animals

Owner of a local, accredited shelter

Soft-spoken. Except when animals or her kids are threatened

Queen of the flannels

Rachel Sutcliffe:

Southern Belle with a kickass edge

Pro kickboxing instructor, who slays in sundresses

Will deck you if you call her son stupid

Makes a mean sweet potato pie

Dana & Donna Sutcliffe:

Try to tell these two apart if you’re not their brother. Just try.

Starting at DuPont next year

Have both had crushes on Kim

Aspiring cook and artist

Do the synchronous talking thing

Evie:

Julio Balthazar

Independently successful mosaic artist

His in-laws warmed up to him over time

Proud of his talented kids and boss wife

Always has glass cuts on his hands, poor guy

Carolina Balthazar

Comes from an old Spanish family of wealth

Still the CFO of a Bigshot record company

May put a little too much pressure on her kids, but not maliciously

HATES the stuffy old heiress stereotype

Alma Balthazar

Talented classical musician

Feels like she’s always in Evie’s shadow

Can be a little snippy, but has a soft side

Weak for comedy films

Emilio Balthazar

Snarky and suave lil shit

Can impersonate anyone's voice

Huge prankster

Gets on Evie's nerves 24/7

Jorge Balthazar

The shyest kid you may ever meet

Speaks similarly to Juleka

Loves to put on little puppet shows

Fidgets with his hands a lot

Rosa Balthazar

Baby of the family, and she knows it

Loves to wear her princess dresses

Adores her oldest sister, wants to sing like Evie

May have a little puppy crush on Brecken

Aggie:

Rohan Findlay

Aggie's paternal uncle, gained custody when she was nine, because his brother is a drunk and his sister-in-law is negligent

Mechanic who co-owns a practice

Bought Aggie her first skateboard

Good friends with Aerinn O'Connor

Bit of a jokester

Mona:

Bindi Truffaut

A bit of a helicopter mom to Mona, kinda overprotective

Kindergarten teacher

Has a mild stutter

Will punt an ableist's ass

Darnell Truffaut

Guidance counselor at DuPont

The chill teacher dad, that you don't mind being there

Helps his wife give Mona some space

HATES Damocles with the fires of hell

Cares a LOT about the students

Eloise:

Roerva Matuidi

Teacher of psychology at an elite university

Tutors at a community center on the weekends

Academic mom, but a chill one

SO proud of her daughter's math prowess

Cannot stand Olive Ackerman

Chet Matuidi

Eloise's gaming buddy, has a streaming channel his sister guests on

Really good with lit, but struggles with math

Helps his sister with emotional expression

Has to be forced to sleep

Leave your thoughts in the comments and reblogs!

[theuniverseawakens347]

Yal wan know about Stephen buss down x 3

Eazy simple I’m 4 months off my nigga we NOT TALKING but he doing dumb shit on the gram to flex on dumb niggas and bitches - I ASKED YOU TO COMMUNICATE SO I CUD GET ON YO PAGE IN 1000% MURDER NOTES BUT YOU BEING WEIRD SO - GET THE FUCK OUT MY SPOT AND FUCK OUR BUSINESS - COLD HEARTED BUT ITS STILL LOVE JUST DO FUCKING BETTER AND STOP REGRESSING ME CAUSE YOU EMBARRASSED YO BOTTOM TIER TEAM YOU CALL YO “main go getters” and I DROPPED MINE.

That’s me personally .. but not THE point of this

- VINCE DAUSTIN YOU SEEN ME MY THIRD N LAST TIME W STEPHEN AT CAFE LA DOWNTOWN NIGGA I ASKED YOU WHO IN YO CAR CAUSE YOU STEADY LOOKING IN MINE , you gon say “the homie” and I’m like aiight head nod gotta be Tristan ..

I go back to my spot w Stephen I BOUGHT THIS NIGGA $12 BURGER AND HE AINT EAT IT BUT STEADY WAN KNOW ABOUT MY SEX TOYS 🫤 alright nigga so you wana be HELLA INTIMATE W A RANDOM BITCH while I’m looking for a nut - “can I fuck raw” ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT SMALL DICK - last time YOU fucked. And I ain’t hit you or none of that ( why you fuck Nateana when I dropped you - NAE I BLOCKED YOU A WEEK BEFORE OUR BDAYS - THATS weird ho AND WHY YOU PIMPING MY SEX VIDEO W CHRISTOPHER TO GET YOU NIGGAS TO FUCK - CHRISTOPHER THAT WAS JUNIOR YR SUMMER HIGH SCHOOL WE DAMN NEAR 30 WHY YOU STILL GOT THEM - LEE PAYING ME MONEY TO SLIDE EM OFF TO DARK SKIN NIGGAS TO SAY THEY FUCKED YOU - NICE MURDER CHARGE - LAPD WHITE HOUSE OBAMA. )

- first two times I CAME TO UR SPOT YOU SMOKED ME OUT I HAD MY WEED ON THE BACK END per usual .. - why ya whole women family here and who baby is this .. yo sister but it look like me - Nateana bf home boy .. okay ( this in hindsight)

But smashed two times a nigga stay close to where I was living 🤷‍♀️

3 times was good enough for me cause that 3 rd time you tryna do that weird shit where a nigga want a “boo” but gon trap you into a relationship to ya face but bullshit behind ya back w his team to seem like he getting pussy .. also hind sight NIGGA YOU LOST YO VIRGINITY TO ME. - LEE BE PAYING YAL NIGGAS FOR THAT SINCE PRESTON TAYLOR RAPED ME AT 16 - ddg how you making money off Halle but saying it’s jasmean OR WAS IT EVELYN JULIAN HARRELL..

🫤🤢🖕🦠

ALL YAL OWE ME BUG ASS MONEY FUCKTARD LEE - LAPD. who snitching 💋🔪

[stonecrusherdrawsthearts]

World of Heroes R - Wild Cardz

Ever since the shot that sparked a revolution, Gotham has been a giant gothic battleground, so dour and devoid of humor that its savior dresses as a giant creature of the night. But now all that's changed. A new face in town has been gathering a crew of rejects and losers from all across the city, and together they're gonna change this town... as the number one prankster group! Let's put a smile on that face, boys!

MEMBERS

Joker - The dashing and witty leader of this group, he's the guy who's always ready for a fun time! Custom outfit ready to go, he's going to test the laws of this city, physics, and common sense to see just how far they go and how funny it'll be to stretch them there. Did you know that you can just bring an Armadillo on a circus ride? Not anymore in this town, and he's the reason why!

Harley Quinn - Back when Wild Cardz was getting started, Harley was the main collaborator of Joker's, and always had fun while doing it. Her knowledge of psychology is a huge factor in making the best pranks, and she's the one person willing to pull Joker back when his ideas can seem impractical, unfeasible, or just plain disastrous.

Riddler - One of the first to join the Wild Cardz back when it was started, Riddler is every bit the kind of guy you can expect from that. Everything he says to his chosen subject is laced with double or even triple meanings, and only a fool would take his word straight. Of course, sometimes, his attempts at a riddle can be... a bit much.

Poison Ivy - Once a fan of the Wild Cardz, Poison Ivy ended up joining the crew after an accident at work left her with the ability to control plants and one hell of a skin condition. She's a particularly grounded individual, even if she's a bit of a hippy.

Clayface - The one mutated survivor of a really crazy accident, nobody's quite sure if they got multiple personality disorder as a result or was given it by unrelated circumstances, but their newfound ability to shapeshift has led to them being able to switch into six distinct personalities; Sondra, Peter, Matt, Cassius, Preston, and Basil. Luckily, all of them have a sense of humor and are pretty good at acting, so combine that with their shapeshifting ability, and Clayface is just the kind of guy you'd love to have acting in your social experiments.

NOT MEMBERS

Clown Prince - The man who gave Gotham Coulrophobia, Arthur Fleck dressed up in a fancy suit and bad clown makeup, shot a popular tv show host, and led a riot around Gotham that ultimately led to his arrest and asylum. But it seems that the Wild Cardz are causing a stir, and he's not willing to let his image get tarnished without a fight.

"The Gag Hammer Bitch" - Another individual who seems to be benefiting from Gotham's Coulrophobia, using it to psychologically manipulate the masses. It could be said that she's a meaner version of Harley, not that she'd appreciate the comparison.

[seancamerons]

i'm gonna come right out and say it: i loved chaotic. it was a real life real time glimpse into britney spears' life during 2004-05. it was i think on upn/presently cw and it chronicled her onyx hotel touring and a little bit after that, including the 'love' story between her and her second? husband Kevin federline and her pregnancy with sean preston. i believe it included the making of someday (i will understand). i believe the greatest hits/my prerogative coincided with this. i think i remember reading initially chaotic had a different tone in mind and was less about her romantic life, more about just generally her and her personal life. of course that remains intact, most people see it as embarrassing and stupid. (under a read more for the rest!)

i think i used to think that britney as a human at that time was going through a lot sure, the year before justin/britney's personal life was seen for the masses and he was in control of that narrative, she had just married her childhood friend jason alexander for 55 hours in las vegas that january, was promoting heavily at that for her studio album in the zone, and touring in europe for much of this documentary. she showed off the lovely room she had in a hotel, and sounded very humbled by the whole experience i recall her saying, "all this for one little person."

while self-aware, reflective and sometimes spiritual britney is a very complex individual. she surely shed the pop tart bubblegum image with the itz era and afterward. the direction i remember it giving/vibe was "britney let's loose from school girl days of bomt like its college!britney, bitch and of course what happens in college? having fun, friends, working probably, clubbing, meeting guys, parties, and doing that sort of thing." do i think it was appropriate for her age and for her sound? yes. was it mature risque and even a little naughty? you bet. did i eat that shit up, oh yes and i think even now in the zone will forever live in infamy. each track tells a story, paints a picture.

it's obvious she was heavily involved in its production, she even had favorite songs, contributed in the writing composition and credits in the liner notes, i also believe there was quite a bit of information she even helped direct or had a lot of input of what sorts of directions the videos such as "toxic" "me against the music" and "everytime" would look like. i remember seeing a short video between a segue as she performed everytime on this ABC special they did in fall of 2003, right around the time itz was released where she was playing a piano and playing the music for everytime.

for a long time it was rumored/speculated to be related as a rebuttal or even a response to justin timberlake's cry me a river which was released perhaps months before and word was getting out, her reputation was in a bad place and it was time for her to break out of the mold she was in musically and take it up a notch, push the envelope and do what she does best which is sing and perform being the entertainer but more 'her' way.

chaotic featured former alum to nsync/mmc castmate jc chazez who remained her friend at this time, her backup dancers and such, and felicia her longtime assistant and friend, who i once got to 'meet' in 2009 but that's another story.

(it was a brief hi, a smile she's just as sweet as i'd see her on tv, but i strongly think she knew i knew who she was haha without saying much and she was standing by a wall during the VIP backstage tour chatting with brett ('memba her?) I've seen britney in concerts almost 5 times, dwad in 2001, onyx in 2004, circus in 2009 and femme fatale in 2011 almost got to see a show back in 2017 i think maybe 2018 in my area when the tour came around for the last time but my BFF at the time took her stupid bf instead, unforgivable. our friendship has not been the same since. ugh.)

oh and my mom caught a glimpse of k-fed at the same concert backstage, weird and the boys sean preston and jayden were there seated around the stage with lynne, they were toddlers/little at the time. i saw them they were close to the center-right ring if i remember correctly from where i was standing. i did see her manager larry rudolph at femme fatale in a lobby i didn't get VIP that time, but i had pretty decent seats for it, but i didn't speak directly to him but i saw him in line getting a soda.)

all in all, i really enjoyed watching chaotic. best friend at the time and i bonded over britney's music, videos, crossroads, concert going experiences and such so oftentimes she comes to mind too. we used to love dressing up like in britney's style clothing/hair trends/make up and we would 'choreograph' dances to her music and we'd marathon things like that like she had chaotic on DVD so on rainy days and sleepovers we'd pop in the DVDs and watch 'em and be so interested.

a lot of people hate on it, britney herself is kind of embarrassed by it and i get that too, but a lot of it was a snapshot of what her life was like back then and how she was living, where she was and I'm sure if i watch it now, i'd laugh, cry and also be in awe like i was way back when.

a close second is for the record (2008-09) I'll talk about that another time someday. we also loved watching the HBO special from 2001, it holds a special place in my heart. total britney live, the MTV diaries, the interviews even the diane sawyer one like we had that shit down and tapes and tapes of trls, commercials, performances, tv, press things, documentaries i mean we were obsessed basically. a part of us still are. i have some things memorized, like most of crossroads i can at any given time recall some quote from the movie. i loved that britney did that stuff, even if it didn't 'work' out. I'm so proud of britney and so grateful to meet people through the britney fandoms, barmy, at concerts, and even online on fbs and tumblrs alike. for instance, @mollyhale and i have great conversations about britney spears and we have similar opinions and good thoughts regarding her and i love her so much. i cannot wait to read the memoir in full when it arrives this week. I'm also really excited to see crossroads in the movies with my bf and one of my best friends I've known a long time. britney has been a big part of my childhood, teen life, and overall existence.

i love her music, it makes me feel happy and good. i love finding a new obscure song by her, or fall in love with the songs that aren't so well known, or sing along when i hear her music on the radio, or come up on playlists. she is the top for me, and no one can speak ill of her i hate that i would go to literal 'war' so needless to say i have a lot to say about how she'd been wronged/underdog vibes and even by family/long-term boyfriends it sucked for us too the fans, because i know she didn't deserve that. i don't want to discuss the conservatorship time, but you can tell in femme fatale she was exhausted, and unhappy she didn't have the spark in her face or eyes, the songs were great and choreo but there wasn't that fire i love because she was tbh overmedicated. i hate infantilization and the narratives in regard to her mh. i do think that she has a lot trauma to work through from what I've seen in her posts, and her way of healing is speaking, and writing it out and I'm proud she's free to take those steps to reclaim herself and become independent and happy once again. it's gonna take time, nothing is overnight but she's doing fabulous. she's got an amazing legacy, so much talent, so much passion for her goals and endeavors, and she wants to burn that narrative too, she's spoken don't hat on several occasions at length on her Instagram posts as well as what I've seen in her book. she wants her fans to know who she is, where she stands because there's been a lot of buzzing over the years on that stuff and it's wonderful to feel validated and confirmed of a lot of things that weren't factually true.

i love the truth when it comes out. when i was little we'd play truth or dare, and i loved the truth but feared dare because i didn't want to be chicken but would much rather speak a truth even if it was personal, yes. truth > dare.

i'm not afraid of the truth. it will and has set her free. ✨💓

[insomanic-fanfication]

Fandom & Character list

Author's note: This post will probably be constantly changing and being updated, but don't worry; each time I do, I'll change the edited date.

_______________The list, cause this bitch is long_________________

DC COMICS

Batman (Bruce Wayne) Night Wing (Dick Grayson) Red Hood (Jason Todd) Red Robin (Tim Drake) Superman (Clark Kent) Super Boy ( 90s - 2000s Conner Kent (Kon-el)) The Flash (Barry Allen) Kid Flash (Wally West) Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) Helblazier (John Constantine)

FALLOUT FRANCHISE

Fallout New Vegas

Craig Boone Major Knight Manny Vargas Jack (Boomer Nellis Air Force Base) Ranger Ghost Sergeant McGee Joshua Grahm Benny Gecko Ulysses Arcade Gannon

Fallout 4

Nick Valentine Deacon John Hancock MacCready Paladin Danse Preston Garvey Dogmeat (ONLY AS A PLONTIC COMFORT)

MARVEL COMICS

Captain America (Steve Rodgers) Spiderman (Peter Parker) Iron Fist Iron-man (Tony Stark) Star-Lord (Peter Quill) Deadpool (Wade Wilson) Black Panther Spider-punk (Hobie Brown)

Call of Duty

Ghost (Simon Riley) Konig John Price Alejandro Vargas Soap (John MacTavish) Gaz (Kyle Garrick) Roach

___________________________________________________________

[last updated December 23, 2023]

[reblog4myfics]

A WHISTLE IN THE WOODS

They’d just wrapped one of the dumbest skits yet—late-night park, nearly 2 a.m., shadows from the streetlamps long and twitchy. Elz was playing some half-baked Russian dominatrix character in a fake fur coat, a red lacy bra, and fishnets. She was supposed to “interrogate” Ehren while he sat bare-assed on a block of ice. He sobbed through the whole thing in a diaper. Steve-O puked from laughing. Bam filmed the whole thing while eating Cheetos out of a jockstrap.

Now they were heading back toward the Jackass van parked on the edge of the woods, tired, still high on adrenaline, lugging equipment and props like tired circus freaks. Elz, still in full costume, heels clicking on the cracked sidewalk, was dragging her mini purse behind her like it owed her money. Princess Glitz Titz peeked out the top, looking just as over it.

She stopped by the curb, backlit by the yellow glow of a busted streetlamp, and started humping the van’s passenger side mirror in character, cackling, “You like when Mother Russia give you treat, da?”

The boys were howling—until someone else whistled.

It wasn’t one of them. It came from behind the trees.

A sharp, low wolf whistle, cutting through the cold air like a knife.

The laughter stopped immediately. Bam turned around. So did Steve-O and Knoxville. The camcorder was still running.

“Who the fuck was that?” Bam asked, squinting into the shadows.

Elz didn’t miss a beat. She grabbed her crotch and let out an even louder, nastier whistle back, flipping off the dark.

“Suck my clit, creep!” she yelled.

A second whistle answered.

It was closer.

No one laughed this time.

Elz’s face dropped. Her eyes darted. She didn’t say anything—just bent down, yanked off her heels like it was instinct, grabbed Glitz Titz under one arm, and ran.

“Shit,” Knoxville hissed. “Go. GO!”

All of them took off. Steve-O dropped the camera bag. Ehren screamed something about murder clowns. Bam was hauling ass in oversized cargo pants. Elz’s fake fur coat flew off behind her like a cape, her fishnets ripping with every step. Glitz Titz was barking like crazy in her arm.

They didn’t stop running until they reached the van. Elz slammed the door behind her, panting hard, face pale but defiant. “I told you this costume was bad karma.”

No one argued.

Knoxville started the van. Elz rolled down the window, stuck her head out, and let out one last sharp whistle into the night. It echoed back, once.

Then nothing.

They didn’t talk the whole way home.

The MTV studio they were squatting in for the month wasn’t glamorous—beat-up couch, posters falling off the walls, sticky floors from spilled beers and something Bam swore was fake blood (it wasn’t). But it felt safe, and right now, safe was rare.

Elz had disappeared into the grimy bathroom the second they got back. She emerged twenty minutes later, barefoot, hair damp from the sink, in a cropped tee that said “SKINNY BITCH!” and drawstring shorts that looked like they’d lived several lives. Princess Glitz Titz was snuggled into the crook of her arm, tiny pink studded leash wrapped around Elz’s wrist like a bracelet.

The boys were mid-conversation, sprawled out around the busted coffee table.

“Nah, that was too close,” Bam was saying, pacing. “I’m telling you, someone was watching us.”

“Watching her,” Steve-O added, nodding at Elz. “That was some creep shit, dude.”

“Do you think it was a fan?” Preston asked, nervously picking at a Pop-Tart. “Or like… just some random perv?”

“Fan, stalker, serial killer—it doesn’t matter,” Knoxville muttered. “He whistled twice. The second time was closer. That’s not just some bystander. That’s someone hunting.”

Eli didn’t say anything at first. She flopped onto the couch between Steve-O and Ehren, plopping Glitz Titz in her lap like a living security blanket. She lit a cigarette with a pink rhinestone lighter, exhaled, and said flatly, “Next time, I bring a taser in my boot.”

“You ran fast,” Steve-O said, eyes wide. “Like, faster than Bam.”

“Dude, I always run faster than Bam,” she scoffed.

“Hey!” Bam objected. “I was in cargo pants, and I tripped on the fake dildo.”

“That was your dildo!” Ehren added, almost offended.

Johnny leaned back, rubbing his face. “We need a safety plan if we’re filming at night from now on. Seriously. Like… buddy system, tasers, maybe some security.”

“Or we just don’t let Eli hump mirrors in fishnets past midnight,” Preston offered.

Everyone went quiet. Then:

“Fuck you,” Elz muttered, grinning through her cigarette. “I make art.”

They all laughed, but it was a nervous, jittery kind of laugh. Like they were still shaking it off. Like they knew how close they’d gotten to something that wasn’t funny. Not this time.

Knoxville looked over at her, more serious now. “You okay?”

Elz blinked slowly. She didn’t smile. Just said, “I will be.”

And just like that, the moment passed. Steve-O started making fart noises against the arm of the couch. Bam dared Ehren to drink mop water. Elz, still clutching her dog, leaned back, took another drag, and muttered, “If any of you bring this shit up on TRL, I swear to God…”

And then things were back to normal. Or, well—Jackass normal.

[o0katiekins0o]

Here's a thing no one asked for- What companions from Fallout 4 I think characters from BBCs Sherlock would choose:

Anderson goes with Codsworth because he is going hard on the main quest line and is emotionally invested in his character's story. He wears an armored vault suit and uses a combat shotgun. His favorite perk is Hacker- because he's stays in everyone's business.

Donovan goes for Piper. She loves that tricky little bitch. She uses metal armor and rocks everyone's shit with a modded 10mm submachine gun. Her favorite perk is Moving Target.

Lestrade would choose Nick Valentine obviously. He's a light armor guy, he'd probably do plain clothes with a MkV ballistic weave and his weapon of choice would be a fully modified .44 Snubnose. His favorite perk is the Mysterious Stranger.

(Crush on DiMA sold separately.)

Irene would choose Cait because she's hot and damaged. They would roam the wasteland in matching T-60 power armor and miniguns. And let's just say Irene gets the "Lover's Embrace" stat boost a lot. Her favorite perk is Black Widow.

Molly chooses Hancock, because ethically grey but morally correct, professional drug addict is Molly's type. She wears an armored Hazmat suit. She's an energy weapons girly with a suped up laser rifle and her favorite perk is Life Giver.

Mrs. Hudson would choose Paladin Danse because she thinks he's hunky and she loves to play an absolute tank- fully modded Tesla coil power armor and a gatling laser. Her favorite perk is Pain Train.

Mycroft would choose X6-88 because he'd totally buy that "Institute is for the greater good" BS or that he could change it for the better from the inside or whatever. He wears Courser Armor and uses a Plasma rifle. His favorite perk is Nerd Rage.

Mary would choose Preston Garvey because she's inexorably drawn to boy scout energy and building a new life after her old one ended tragically is kind of her MO. She also just enjoys building settlements. Her armor is the tactical marine armor and her weapon of choice is the Spray n' Pray. Her favorite perk is Commando.

Eurus would choose Porter Gage and they would rule Nuka World with an iron fist. She would wear Heavy Operator armor and her weapon of choice would be the Splatter Cannon. Her favorite perk is Bloody Mess.

Moriarty would choose Strong. Because he just needs a blunt instrument to do his bidding and Strong is easy to manipulate and will just straight up eat anyone Moriarty tells him to. He wears a tuxedo with Ballistic Weave and has a 40mm Grenade rifle because you're not getting close enough to even get blood on it. His favorite perk is Ricochet.

John would choose Deacon and be all in on the Railroad. He'd definitely be drawn to the person with the mysterious past who he can never tell if they're lying, but trusts that even if they do lie- it's for a good reason. He'd also choose the codename "Bullseye" and think Desdemona is hot. He uses a Railway rifle and wears the Railroad armored coat with ballistic weave. His favorite perk is Rifleman.

Sherlock chooses Curie. He would say it's because having a Miss Nanny modified for scientific research- turned synth is incredibly useful. But deep down he is very moved by her earnest desire to experience life as a human- and deeper down, thinks she's adorable. He wears X-02 power armor and his weapon of choice is the Shishkebab. His favorite perk is Chemist.

Anyway- no one asked but there it is.

[coffeestrawinabobadrink]

Kingsguard

Author's note: So, uh, I wrote this out of the blue. Just for funsies. Think I might continue it, so welcome to Part 1 (maybe)! In my several years on this site, here we are.

Word count: 1099

King Robert, the first of his name, stood at the side of his son. A careful stoicism, so unlike the jolly, drunken flush of any other night. The young Prince Joffrey laid in his bed, of only 10 years, but he wasn’t running around. No, instead, his hands couldn’t hesitate but to curl around his swollen knees. A red, nasty pain localized and materialized as long red hills around the joints.

“Ahgg!” he cried, a terrible gargled sound, like his mother at his bedside, every one of his small joints also red.

“By the Seven, please-Joffrey, don’t do that!” Cersei cried, eyes welled up with tears, taking her boy's hand, flinching at his shout. And Robert clenched his fists. She took that hand, kissing in between his knuckles at his index finger. Her eyes begged for some sort of forgiveness, probably from the Seven or maybe the Old Gods by the looks of it. Sometimes, the way she held the maester’s hand looked like she was praying. 

It was always at night.

Jaime, the Prince’s uncle, was at Robert’s side, just like Jon Arryn, the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. The only two people that the King and Queen would trust to see Joffrey so fully in this state.

Maester after Maester proving useless. The best ones the Order had.

Bed rest made it worsen. Night after night, the boys’ voice grew hoarse, his eyes bearing more hatred towards himself, a type of insecurity that came when his knees would swell. When he would watch his siblings play. Throwing down a wooden horse that Myrcella had gifted him. The action, curling his fingers around the odds and ends of the horse made him cry even more.

Robert feared for the future, feared for the position of his throne and thus his family in turn. Fearing that his son would never let the anger go, looking at the way he treats his nurses. Then there was the inherent frailty. It would be the perfect call for a calm usurpation.

There was no doubt that Joffrey was his son. And there was no doubt that Robert was a sane man. So who would pay? Tywin Lannister certainly would disapprove. Jaime, after all, wears the white cloak. The King couldn’t even count on two hands how many times the Hand has warned him of their draining coffers. How this gave an unequal amount of power to the Lannisters. 

‘The richest family in Westeros and their bitches held captive in the Red Keep.’ And, maybe, for once, King Robert was finally thinking about the politics in this land. A dead son means a weakened hold of the Lannisters (does it not?).

And so, Robert, stopped thinking. Stepping out with Arryn and Jaime in tow, he came to the hallway where the rest of his Kingsguard were stationed. The tall man gestured to the study.

When they got to the door, a big oaken dark one, Robert stopped in front, looking to the side, to the shortest of the Kingsguard. “Ser Preston, check the room, take out anyone inside.” the man simply said. The short man nodded.

His heavy steps echoed in and out of the room before stepping out. There was no person in his hands, and they all went inside. Except for Ser Preston and Ser Boros.

It was an open secret, that is, why she walked through these halls. Escorted by the serious faces of the Kingsguard. There were other mystical men behind her. With their amulets, feathers, and herb books. She did have that last one though and they all claimed to be healers.

But they were. Experienced in their respective fields. The one with long gray hair, the most quiet one held himself like a prisoner. Wearing rags, flowers woven into his braided hair. Remnants of his black hair in thin strands that accompanied the gray coiled hair. He had big lips, reminiscent of the few from the farther nations, farther than Essos. His name was Hidi.

A man of light blue eyes and cropped red hair, he was from the Vale, some kind of apprentice to an herbalist of some kind. He was the youngest and the most nervous, with her barely able to hear him utter his name. 2 more in the far back and then her. The only woman who middled herself between Hidi and the man of light blue eyes.

The clink of golden armor and their white cloaks filled the busy air of nighttime. Especially busy in the wing behind them. She looked around in wonder, her flat shoes barely making a sound on the cushioned stone floor. Eyes curiously roaming the opulent halls. Following the Kingsguard into a large oaken door.

It was the way they walked, how two went to relieve the pair at the door. The pair coming to join the formation around them. And now, finally the tall man left the front to show the subjects to their King.

And oh gods, he was ugly. He looked like her uncle, fat and only waiting for gout to hit him in his lonely life. ‘Better for it to fuck me in the ass, rather than not getting fucked at all, right?’ That’s what he usually said, paraphrased and twisted by her bias against her uncle who had a hankering for children ever since he had become a direct underling of his “Lord.” It didn’t make sense either. 

He used to be handsome, one of the most fair men in Westeros. And he sat behind the desk, breathing harder than all the knights surrounding them. “Hidi, Brown,” From a paper, the one where the knights were writing only hours before, the King spoke jovially, a forced kind, really. Forming the words of her last name hesitantly, well, to him it probably looked like a first name with how the knight taking her name wrote it on the paper. Her eyes drifted towards the blonde knight, honestly, the handsomest in the room. Seemingly the most noble amongst the knights.

I don’t trust him. Impassively, she watched the king talk, formalities and the thanks, what was more obvious was the rank in the room. Not in terms of position, it was the smell that seemed to culminate in this room with no opening to the outside, admittedly, even worse. “Under my Kingsgurd supervision, you each will examine my son. Then, you will explain to me what you think my son suffers from and what you plan to do to treat my son.” Robert grinned. He had much to say, but few was actually said.