#REPLY2EMAIL

[bestsalesman1997]

(He hums in acknowledgement. He'll dwell on it later; right now he just wants to rest. He closes his eyes and lets Her gentle rumbling lull him to sleep.)

{{{His mind goes silent. Your senses dull. A familiar presence fills the emptiness instead.}}}

So cruel of them. How lucky that you have me.

{{{You almost hear her distant laughter. She's muffling his senses like putting hands over his ears.}}}

Poor little virtue.. Don't worry. I'll stay for a while.

(Spamton slumps from relief, soaking in the blissful quiet. It's a nice reprieve, one he very much needed.)

* ...You helped me.

(He regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth; of course She helped! Why wouldn't She? What a silly statement. He should be embarrassed, wasting her time like this. He could have handled it! He should have! He must look pathetic to Her.)

* ...Please... Don't leave.

(it's a stupid request. He says it anyways.)

[bestsalesman1997]

* WELCOME!! WELCO ME [To my Garden of] SPAMTON!!!!

HEYHEYHEY!!! YOU'RE A [Curious Critter], AREN'T YOU?! I KNOW THAT [[Look at me!]], ADM1T IT!!! EVERY ONE OF YOU WNTS A PIECE OF SPAMTON!!?

WELL.

I HAVe. [[Good news]].

I HAVe. A N [Investment Opportunity].

JUST. FOR YOU.

YOUU GIVE ME [No such thing as a stupid question]. AND I. GIVE > YOU. [[Hyperlink Blocked]]. WHADDOYA SSAY, [ChumBucket]?!? WILL YOU TAKETH3DEAL?

SEND %ME MAIL NOW AND RECIEVE [[Riches aplenty]]!!!!!

GET THE INSIDE SCOOP BELOW: 🍝

Yeeeaaahh its a Spamton ask blog because I fell back into my old brain worms LOL. Welcome! Call me Fizz or Ettie, I run this account. Baby's first ask blog! If only my mama could see me now!

Very simple rules below!!

No serious NSFW. Joking is fine, but I'm a minor. I'm not huge on ships since I'm aromantic and romance-repulsed (and, I can't emphasize this enough, A Minor) but I do engage in 1 (one) OC x canon ship because it's really really funny (and if you'd rather not see that, filter out "HEAVENLYVIRTUE" in the tags!) - I also enjoy most Spamton ships but dislike Spamton x any Addison. Serious and joke responses. Dumpster Era Spamton (post-fame, pre-neo - before the Lightners arrive). Keep in mind this will not be entirely canon-accurate, but I do try my best. I think that covers it?

TAG GUIDE:

SPAMTON SPEAKS - post tag

MAIL DELIVERY - ask tag

REPLY2EMAIL - RP reblog tag (aka rp threads? not sure how to refer to them.)

FORWARD EMAIL - reblog tag

INSIDE SCOOP - ooc tag

KILL YOUR TV - tenna neg

KILL YOUR JESTER - jevil neg

SPAMLORE - LORE IMPORTANT posts!!

I'll do my best to TW & CW properly as well as to add spoiler warnings. If I don't reply, I'm either: thinking of a reply, Can't Reply without breaking the "canon" of the blog, or it just made me uncomfortable, but I trust you all to be respectful. Please be patient, it takes me a bit of time to keep my replies as accurate to canon as I can manage. That's all! Ask away!

[bestsalesman1997]

* TRYING TO MAkE US FIGHT ON PURPOSE IS [Bad Manners], AUDIENCE!!

carry

[bestsalesman1997]

* IT'S [[Verified By Our Experts]]! [I always come back]!!

i just shot and killed spamton ur welcome

Thank you, but it’s not that easy.

He’s kind of like a cockroach.

You can completely squash or obliterate him and he’ll somehow still be scurrying.

[bestsalesman1997]

* I'M. GOING. TO [[Murder]] YOU ONE DAY. STOP [[Waiting Tables]] WITH [[Cathode]!! NEITHER OF YOU SHOULD BE [[Together]]!!! WHAT A [[Low Low Prices!]] WAY OF GETTING [[Back At Me]]!!

* [[Jester]] DID YOU FLIRT WITH MY [[Exemplary Deals]] LAST NIGHT.

-@bestsalesman1997

I DID, I DID! TWO OF THEM ACTUALLY! WHAT ARE YOU JEALOUS, JEALOUS THAT YOU CAN'T?

ONE OF THEM SAID THEY LIKE WATCHING ME PREFORM, PREFORM!

[bestsalesman1997]

* I AM [Entirely Sane and Well-Adjusted] IF YOU'RE GOING TO [Post] ABOUT ME AT LEAST [Get the Facts Right]!!!

Starting to realise half of these adults I talk to need so much therapy it’s insane.

[bestsalesman1997]

* ...

* YOU KNOW WHAT [[Hell Yeah]].

*(huh when did this pipis get in here?)

* ???

(Spamton tilts his head, staring at it. For a moment, you're afraid he'll recognize you somehow...)

* HOW'D YOU GET [[Over Here]]?? GET BACK WITH THE OTHERS!!!

(...Well.)

[bestsalesman1997]

(He laughs dumbly, leaning against her.)

* I'D [[Love to]], REALLY, BUT [[First and Foremost]] I SH OULD ASK- IS THIS- A. A [[Thing]]?? ARE WE? TOGETHER?? LIKE? [[Dating websites]]? OR IS THIS [[Casual]]??

{{{Another rip in reality opens in the house, and Soul stumbles out of it.}}}

{{{..She immediately flops face-first into the couch.}}}

Hey virtue...!

{{{She purrs, curling up on her side. By now, the slight smell of alcohol has reached you.}}}

I MAY have had too much too drink. Apologies.

* HHAS IT EVEN BEEN A DAY SINCE YOU MADE YOUR [[Mortal Vessel]]?? YOU ALL NEED MORE [[Hobbies & Interests]]...

* ...DO YOU WANT [[Warm & Cozy Blanket]]? OR...?

[bestsalesman1997]

* I ''M SPAMTON G. SPAMTON!! I'LL [[Check in]] ON MY [[Little Darlings]] FROM TIME TO TIME, MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT RAISING THEM [[Poorly]]!! AND IF YOU EVER [[Need assistance?]] YOU CAN [[Call 1-800]], ALRIGHT?

It was a.. random day to say the least, an Temmie of some sorts could be seen walking around the streets. She seemed to be holding some.. [[PIPI]] Eggs, probably got them from that dumb TV-Head.

- 🖌️🎧, @temudatemmie

* HEY!! JUST WHAT'RE YOU DOING WITH MY [[Boys in Blue]]?!?

[bestsalesman1997]

* [Woof]!! THEY REALLY PUT THE [Throw] INTO [Throw him out]!! [I am moderately to severely concussed]

* IM GOING TO TRY TO GET INTO [[The Basement]] AGAIN... [[1 Like = 1 Prayer]]

[bestsalesman1997]

* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM [Awful]. I MEAN [Awe-full]. I MEAN. I MEAN. I'M [Spectacular Deals!!], I'VE NEVER BEEN [Better]!! YOU KNOW ME!!! I AM JUST SO [Normal] AND [Well-Adjusted]!! EAHAHA!

(He is obviously shaking. Like a chihuahua.)

* I HAVE. UM. I HAVE. I HAVE. [[An Amazing Offer!]] I MEAN I HAVE A [[Place to Stay]] NOW SO YOU HAVE A ROOM!! ISN'T THAT NICE. HAHAHA...HA.

* [[Audience]]!! BUDDY. PAL. CHUM. KID. [Offspring]. HELLO. HOW ARE YO UU.

- @bestsalesman1997

hi dad!! I've been doing great! I even made pizza with- wait you don't like him. Uhm. How have you been?

..Are you okay???? You seem spooked by something

[bestsalesman1997]

* [[What]] DO YOU MENA BY THIS.

I THINK I UNDERSTAND WHY THE PUPPET LIKED THAT RING LEADER... WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE... THAT?

[bestsalesman1997]

* EAHAHA! I MUST HAVE MISHEARD YOU! COULD HAVE SWORN YOU JUST SAID [his name is Jevil]. OH YOU ARE SO [[Comedy]] AUDIENCE BUT HE'S [[No Laughing Matter]].

* [[Salutation]] AUDI ENCE!! HOW HAVE YOU B>EEN?

- @bestsalesman1997

Oh, hi dad!! I've been good! I even somehow managed to get another dad, his name is Jevil he's really funny.

I'm with him right now actually, just drawing.

I have like what, 15 dads now?

[bestsalesman1997]

* NO BUT AXTUALY [What in Equestria?] WAS IN TBE [Blue Stuff]. HLEP

* THJIS [Is knot]H ELPING WHY DOD I [Dot hiss]

[bestsalesman1997]

* [Groan]! YOU'RE BOTH SUCH [WorryWarts]!! NO, YOU HAVEN'T [Rubbed off on him]. HE'S ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT, [Cathode]!! WHY CAN'T YOU TWO [[Talk]] ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS INSTEAD OF USING [[Me]] AS [[Couples Therapist]]?!

* HEY! [Showman]!! YOUR [Darling Devil] IS WORRIED YOU DON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE!!! TELL HIM [I do] SO HE QUITS [Bugging me]! I'VE GOT ENOUGH [*$&!] TO WORRY ABOUT AS IT IS!!

I’ve done what I can already.

…I need an answer, real quick.

And as much as I hate to talk to you, I don’t know who else I could ask.

You’ve spent more time around him than I have.

Does he— have episodes like that sometimes? Like is it something isn’t too uncommon?

I’m afraid I’ve somehow rubbed off on him.

[bestsalesman1997]

* I WISH YOU TWO WOULD [[Hurry it up]] SO I CAN WATCH YOUU [[Embarrass yourselves]] TOGETHER !!

* ...WHO? WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'VE MET [Nobody]. I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE IN MY LIFE! I'M SO [Alone]! EAHAHAHAHA!!

* HOW'S THE [[Hot Date]] GOING, [Pal]?

-@bestsalesman1997

THE "HOT DATE" HAS NO HAPPENED YET, YET! HE SAYS WE'LL HAVE IT AFTER HIS SHOW, SHOW!

AND BESIDES I HAVE THE FEELING THAT YOU'VE MET SOMEONE, SOMEONE!