#RespectInMarriage

[thejourneyofastrangerlife]

The Silence Between Us

Tonight just turned heavier by the hour.

Maybe I just miss him—not that he would know, or maybe he doesn’t even care. Ever since he left, I’ve been having the softest dreams, just the two of us in a little house with a small garden, glowing and happy.

I woke up smiling, only to face the silence and greyness of the room.

Today, I felt extremely sad. We fought yesterday, and he didn’t even care that I left. I asked him, “Do you want to be with me or do you want to divorce me?” It was harsh, but I needed to know the truth. Instead of an answer, he turned it on me and said, “You want a divorce?”—as if all of this was my doing.

Then, like always, he shut down the conversation: “You lost the argument. Say whatever you want, I’m not replying.” I told him the truth he made me say, “Yes, I want a divorce,” and then I blocked him.

Now, I feel like something in me has gone missing—like part of my soul is gone—but strangely, my body doesn’t even respond anymore. Maybe I’m just numb.

I have nine days left before I return home. Nine long, dragging days of pretending, of holding myself up in silence.

I wish I could fast forward through it all, but maybe this is how healing begins: not loud, not brave, just quiet pain and slow breaths.

And you know what hurts most? That all of this started the moment his mother stepped in between us and he obeyed her 100% every single time.

Is this what marriage is supposed to look like? A man fully grown, still chained to his mother’s every word, with no space for the woman he married? I’ve never seen anything like this before.

All my friends, they live peacefully — their parents let them go, let them grow. But in my case, his mother holds on so tightly that there’s no room left for me.

It hurts so bad I don’t even know what marriage means anymore.

"Sometimes the loudest heartbreak is the one we carry quietly — not in words, but in the weight we no longer try to explain."

[kinintl]

The Hope-in-Christ Book Club Presents: Real Talk w/Author Diane Hill