#FindingMyPeace

[thejourneyofastrangerlife]

The Silence Between Us

Tonight just turned heavier by the hour.

Maybe I just miss him—not that he would know, or maybe he doesn’t even care. Ever since he left, I’ve been having the softest dreams, just the two of us in a little house with a small garden, glowing and happy.

I woke up smiling, only to face the silence and greyness of the room.

Today, I felt extremely sad. We fought yesterday, and he didn’t even care that I left. I asked him, “Do you want to be with me or do you want to divorce me?” It was harsh, but I needed to know the truth. Instead of an answer, he turned it on me and said, “You want a divorce?”—as if all of this was my doing.

Then, like always, he shut down the conversation: “You lost the argument. Say whatever you want, I’m not replying.” I told him the truth he made me say, “Yes, I want a divorce,” and then I blocked him.

Now, I feel like something in me has gone missing—like part of my soul is gone—but strangely, my body doesn’t even respond anymore. Maybe I’m just numb.

I have nine days left before I return home. Nine long, dragging days of pretending, of holding myself up in silence.

I wish I could fast forward through it all, but maybe this is how healing begins: not loud, not brave, just quiet pain and slow breaths.

And you know what hurts most? That all of this started the moment his mother stepped in between us and he obeyed her 100% every single time.

Is this what marriage is supposed to look like? A man fully grown, still chained to his mother’s every word, with no space for the woman he married? I’ve never seen anything like this before.

All my friends, they live peacefully — their parents let them go, let them grow. But in my case, his mother holds on so tightly that there’s no room left for me.

It hurts so bad I don’t even know what marriage means anymore.

"Sometimes the loudest heartbreak is the one we carry quietly — not in words, but in the weight we no longer try to explain."

[joelekm]

Am I Overthinking My Future? The Answer Might Be Simple | Earth to Amy

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about where I want to live next. I love the idea of finding a place that feels like home—somewhere with nature, a strong community, and a peaceful vibe. But am I overcomplicating things? In this video, I share my thoughts on different locations, what I’m looking for in a home, and the challenges of making big life decisions. If you’ve ever felt stuck or unsure about your next move, you’re not alone! Let me know—where’s your favorite place to live or visit? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

[wendybrzobohata]

[doggirlbuck]

this week has been a test in #findingmypeace in many different aspects of my life

[brunchbitch]

Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you. You can do this!

Thank you so much! My stomach hurts whenever I think about it :(

[my-truth-is-my-truth]

My First

There is nothing like a first to shape you into the human you are now. First love, first time, first heartbreak. For me, that was Jake. This will likely be more than one story and lesson, but I don’t think there was a more influential person in my life that taught me about love. I thank god for him to this day. 

He was the captain of the lacrosse team. Every girl wanted him, but until me he was unattainable. I remember that first time we hung out, he had picked me up in his car and we were going to shoot together. Well, one thing led to another and we ended up talking in the grass, face to face, and that’s where my first love began. He kissed me and from that moment on I was completely his. He was kind, funny, athletic, and oh so so attractive to me. We were inseparable from that moment forward. He truly was my first true love. He taught me what it meant to give myself entirely to someone. Body, mind, and soul. He taught me to love myself and be completely secure in my own skin. Something I had struggled with for some time in high school. My self-esteem with him was unbreakable. He was the best thing to ever happen to me until he wasn’t. 

I really thought I was going to marry him.

He was a year older than me and got a scholarship to play lacrosse in Washington DC at a prestigious university. I pressed him to do long distance, but I could sense that he was questioning our love those weeks before he left for school. The night before he would be leaving for college, we said our goodbyes early. He told me he was going to bed early so he could be ready for the long trip. I believed him.

I went to hang out with my friends and keep my mind off how sad I was about him leaving. That’s when I passed his car at another girls house. I had never felt my anxiety spike like it did in that moment. That was my first panic attack.

I blew up his phone, no answer. So instead of going home, crying, and being pathetic, I took off the tiffany necklace he had gotten me with our relationship dates on it and attached it to his car door. I cut open the glow sticks I had gotten from the party I was at and spread them all over his car as one last fuck you. My last text before I blocked him was “check your car door”

I’ll never forget how badass I felt at that moment. 

Then I went home and cried in my driveway so that my mom didn’t see lol (pathetic).  

Long story short, I unblocked him a few hours later and he begged for forgiveness, which I gave him and we continued our relationship for another year and a half where he proceeded to break my heart for a second time over the phone after Christmas break my sophomore year of college. 

Lessons learned. 

I still have love for him. I always will. He taught me how great relationships can be when they are stable and committed. He also taught me how bad it hurts to get your heart broken. 

I wouldn’t have traded a single minute with him. 

If you ever read this Jake, I loved you unlike I will ever love anyone else. You taught me the beauty of life. You taught me how to be carefree and confident. I could not have asked for a better first everything. You mean the world to me and I pray for you daily. In those months we spent not talking I knew that if I ever needed you, that I could call you and you would pick up. You helped me through some of the hardest years of my life and I owe you my confidence, strong will, and carefree spirit. I love you always.

[tylrzwrld]

i can sense things, i know when something’s up, && i am using that tool to give myself the best relationships i can possibly form. i am going to be happy. i am going to be the best version of myself, i’m on my mf way.

[ladyflava]

Saturday’s 💜 #MySaturdays #SelfCare #RestoringMyEnergy #LearningToBreathe #FindingMyPeace #Healing From #Vegas #LadyFlava of #LadyFlavaNews #DoingMe 💜 #RedefiningMyPurpose https://www.instagram.com/p/CQmva28Hlf0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[tiftalksbooks]

Flashback to Friday when I finally got to visit the Garden of a Thousand Buddhas. So amazingly beautiful and peaceful. Due to time constraints, I was not able to full experience the moment. Therefore, today I will be taking some time for meditation and mindfulness as I reflect on my short time within that serenity. . . . . #montana #montanamoment #cloudyskies #bethegood #seethegood #gardenofathousandbuddhas #westernmontana #meditation #mindfulness #findingmypeace #selfcare #selfcareinnature #selfreflection #growth https://www.instagram.com/p/CMsO35wrEiT/?igshid=3gic0dpho5xi

[mrodrigu]

Coffee and art is love... working on a project.. lol supplies are limited and so we have to get creative.. :) #findingmypeace #mentalhealthmatters https://www.instagram.com/p/CCxxEq6Ar-S/?igshid=1ms36eyenk8u4

[incurableoptimistest1994]

Day one of yoga 🧘‍♀️ at home to fill my time during self isolation (of which it’s day three). It really helped my body and mind ❤️ #daythreeofisolation #dayoneofyogaathome #palliativecarewarrior #findingmyjoy #findingmypeace https://www.instagram.com/p/B9z5Ic0BoVc/?igshid=1thj5iwfy0b5m

[brunchbitch]

I figured I'd send you some encouragement. You can get through this. I know it sucks but try to remember its not permanent. Thankfully. (Hope that doesn't sound dismissive) Some questions for distraction. Favorite color? Favorite food? Favorite movie? Talk about what you have in mind for a career. In an ideal world where would you want to go to grad school? Hope that provides some distraction. No worries if you don't have an answer to any of them. (I don't have a favorite movie, lol.)

thank you so much <3 <3

favorite color: teal/turquoise! 

favorite food: sushi or pizza

favorite movie: oh gosh... this is so hard. i love all the harry potters obvi. i love all lord of the rings. the goonies. ladybird. shutter island. les mis. bridesmaids. inception. the conjuring. so it depends on the genre i guess!

career: i want to be a child life specialist working at a children’s hospital. so essentially i would be working very closely with the kids and families and act as their liaison with the treatment team in order to communicate any psychosocial needs of the kiddos or families. i would work with the kids (both the patient and the siblings) to help prepare them psychologically for what their treatment/procedure/hospital stay will look like using developmentally appropriate terms and medical play. i would do some education for the whole family about the patient’s illness and how they can all best support him or her. sometimes child life specialists will give talks to patient’s schools in order to prepare them for returning to school after a long hospital stay (such as explaining to their classmates that you can’t “catch” cancer). other responsibilities for child life specialists include organizing hospital- or unit-wide events (such as fairs or festivals), assisting with grief support (helping kids with legacy projects if their parent dies in the hospital for example), and helping out at medical summer camps. some child life specialists work in a private practice setting to counsel kids and families facing medical challenges. i think i will probably want to start out working in a hospital, maybe on an oncology unit or med-surg, and then possibly eventually look into private practice.

grad school: boston university is definitely my top choice as they have the best child life program in the world. mills college is a second choice. i will also likely be applying to uw’s msw program as well as a couple more programs in boston.

thank you for the distraction!!

[plasticheartspaperplanes]

much needed serenity after yesterday’s mayhem 📷 @fixated_f . . . . . . . . #bollywoodveggies #weekendadventures #onewithnature #findingmypeace (at Bollywood Veggies) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3-65bbH23Z/?igshid=zb9278mofsi9

[my-truth-is-my-truth]

My Truth, the beginning

Whenever someone poses the question: “who are you”, how do you answer? This question is up there as one of the hardest I've ever been asked next to “what is the purpose of life” and “what is justice”.  

My truth is: I don't know yet. 

I grew up privileged, wealthy, and white, by two wonderful parents who did the best they could by me, and my older brother. The older I get, the more a realize how difficult being a parent must be. I have made many mistakes, as anyone probably has, but I have learned a lot of lessons along the way. I am not 22, living with three amazing women who encourage me to be my best self. I have a degree from a great university, a dog, and a job, but who am I? 

I decided to write this blog as a way to capture who I am through stories, thoughts, and events taking place in my life. I am far from perfect, but I have always felt drawn to the idea of helping others. Perhaps by sharing my stories, I can help other people overcome their own mistakes and learn to self-love as I have over many years. 

[lawandlocs-blog]

Take the leap. Start! #bookjournals #start #amwriting #plan #findingmypeace #leap #heregoesnothing #amreading #amreseachering #hustle #write #travel https://www.instagram.com/p/B3AcILwnC8i/?igshid=1k7en2yun8abs

[adorahorton]

I started a mandatory 10 min meditation for myself as a practice of self love last week for the new moon. Phone off, no tv, no music, just silence & positive thoughts, visualizations, with my crystals. After a week, I can tell the difference in my stress level. I will continue this for 30 days as a personal challenge. #dailymeditation #meditation #meditationbenefits #selflove #focused #elevate #balance #findingmypeace #findingmygreatness #peace #detachment #namaste #detox #socialdetox