#SMASH that like button if you are vague and confused and kinda tired and on so-so terms with consciousness
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#SMASH that like button if you are vague and confused and kinda tired and on so-so terms with consciousness#tma#marina marvels at life#id in alt text
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Another Old File with the Same Idea....
Basically, this is what happens when I get bored, tired, and am done with homework.
I love self-inserts, and I love Otome games. As such, I began to wonder what would it be like if I, as myself with all my knowledge, suddenly found myself in the place of the MC.
This came from it. I warn you- this is highly self-indulgent and I have way to much fun with it.
-0-
When I was 21, I woke up one day to find myself 17 again. At first, I thought it was a dream.
It wasnât.
I was furious. Being a teen again sucked so hard. Dealing with depression, hormones, confusing feels of sexualityâŠ
However, I didnât focus to much on it. Not when something happened that didnât before.
My elder brother died. He tried some drugs, and got the wrong ones.
I was in shock for a long time. My parentâs couldnât either. My little brother broke to. Ran off as soon as he turned 10, vanished. I fell into a fog even worse, my parents drew away from me in their own depression.
I in turn began to write. Stories Iâd shared with my brothers, stories Iâd promised to get published.
I sold them online and became fairly known among certain online communities as I went to school, choosing corrections once more, my parents leaving Canada for California. I was left alone completely.
I was 20 wen I got the call from police. Leo, my little brother, had been found.
He was dead himself. Got into the same lifestyle as Carver, our oldest brother, had been in.
He was thirteen.
I went on a bender, woke up with a book written about Jenny and her little brother Eric. Jenny was a cop while Eric was a gangster. The two were hunting down their elder brotherâs killer, Jenny legally and Eric illegally.
I sent it to a publisher, got it published under a pen name, and soon it was a popular crime novel. I wrote a sequel, in which Jenny and Eric found out about the gang connection their grandparents had.
I finished school and just wrote. It was therapeutic really, writing the novels. Made me focus.
I also found out that for some reason, Voltage Amemix had never made Astoria: Fateâs Kiss or Gangsters in Love. After a period of pouting, I decided to write them into books, though with small changes for my own amusment, and in case they ever did release them.
I was 23 when my parents asked me to come house sit/dog sit. I agreed without much thought. Calfironia would be niceâŠ
-0-
âWho is a good puppy!â I said, rubbing Ripleyâs stomach. âWho is a good girl, itâs Ripley!â I giggled.
Ripley was a cute little black and white bishon shitsu my parents had gotten after our old dog, Doc, had to be put to sleep. She was a real softy, so cute and fluffy.
âWoof!â I laughed and turned to the larger dog.
âDonât worry Seymour! Youâre a good boy!â They also got a Great Dane. He was a surprise, but it was amusing. âSuch good dogs!â After playing with said dogs for a while, I headed back to the house, whistling.
I liked my parentâs home. It was nice, quiet. Weirdly familiar, but nice. They had a nice guest room for me and my computers. Idly I noticed the mail, picking up a postcard from Hawaii where my parents had gone.
My parents⊠we rarely spoke anymore. Not after⊠not after everything. It was to hard, to difficult to try and get along anymore. We were just to broken.
âDo I wanna cook?â I asked myself out loud. âI could just bake some fries and call it good enough. I need to get the next chapter-â A loud crash made me jump, Riley and Seymour yelping. I stare at the door to the backyard as it bangs open and a guy wearing aâŠ
âSki mask, really?â I canât help but ask out loud, feeling my nerves get the best of me. âThatâs kinda clichĂ© man, like, wow, very cool, but you know you could have-â
âShut up!â snapped the man, two others following him in. Seymour took off whimpering while Ripley jumped into my arms and began barking wildly at the men.
So the big dog runs, the little dog stays⊠lovely.
âWhere are your parents?â asked the man, and I frowned.
ââŠWhy do you need a gym owner and a mental health nurse?â the man snarled.
âStop playing around!â Ripley snarled at him. âAnd shut the rat up!â I glared, feeling my heart pick up speed. I was no fighter. I worked out, did yoga, all that crap, but⊠not a fist fighter. And my dad- unfortunately- had gotten rid of all his guns from our farming days years back.
âLook, Iâm just house-sitting for them.â I told the man who laughed mockingly.
âOh, sure. Boys- mess this place up.â With that, they began to rip apart the house, throwing things around, smashing random vases and ornaments. I opened my mouth to say something when the front door was kicked down. I turned only to freeze.
Iâd found that my memory had grown incredibly sharp since my little time travel. I could remember minute details down to a button colour. And this guy? This guy I remembered.
Chance Valentine.
âŠOh fuck, I was in an Otome game.
 -0-
I hesitated, looking around. Knowing how it could all go down gave me insight. One of which was that I had no interest in being a gangsterâs sweetheart. I knew they could be nice people but⊠I was a writer, I had a life not related to them. I wasnât the MC, where apparently she did odd jobs and had no idea what she wanted from life.
So I had to chose carefully. Not Aurora or Yoshimitsu or Irving. Flirting made me uncomfortable in genral, and faking a relationship would irritate me.
Chance, Ash or Mateo⊠No, not Mateo. Flirting again. Chance⊠honestly, Iâd end up punching him. So⊠Ash.
âIâd like to stay with Ash,â I said finally, scratching Ripleyâs ears. Quiet, not my type at all, and the dogs liked him.
 -0-
âThought you were ace,â Leo told me as we sat on the couch.
âHmm?â I ask, holding onto him tightly, ignoring the others who were talking among themselves, using Leoâs knowledge to itâs fullest.
âAsexual. You used to say you were, soâŠâ I chuckled.
âLeo, just because Iâm ace doesnât mean I canât have a romantic relationship.â I patiently tell him.
âBut⊠you donât like sex!â He protests a little loudly.
ââŠDo you really want the sex talk?â I ask him. Leo blushes brightly but glares. âFine. Yes, Iâm asexual. I donât give two shits about sex, though I will fully admit it is enjoyable and I donât mind having it semi regularly with my boyfriend. But sex does not equal romance Leo. Romance is something far different- if Ash and I never had sex again Iâd still love him with all of my heart.â I told my little brother firmly.
âBut⊠what âbout that aro stuff?â
âAromantic?â I asked him, sighing as I leaned my head against the back of the couch. âIt means someone who does not feel romantic feelings whatsoever.â
âAnd you used to-â I groaned, loudly.
âLeo, yes. I am somewhat aro. I donâtâŠâ I frowned, trying to think. âI never went searching for romance because I never felt it important enough to do so. I would be completely fine being single for the rest of my life if Ash and I broke up. I would probably be anyway if we did. I honestly do not think I could find anyone after him,â I admitted to my brother. âAsh⊠I really lucked out with Ash.â I canât keep my awed tone out of my voice. âI picked him because I knew he would drive me crazy the least. I have no idea what to do with flirting half the time- why do people do it?â I asked, confused.
âPlease they think people are attractive?â Leo asked me.
âWhy though? I mean, yes, I can see that they are pleasing to the eye, but⊠why justâŠâ I make a hand motion vaguely. âAnyway, I knew Aurora and Yoshimitsu liked to flirt- they were flirting with me right away. I had no fucking clue what to do, so nope. Irving⊠well, I could have been a lawyer. I knew a few who were going to be one- no fucking thank you.â
âThat bad?â Leo asked me in amusement. His eyes flickered to something and back.
âYou donât know the half of it,â I muttered, not bringing up the fake fiancĂ© thing that could have happened. âChanceâŠâ
âYou would have punched him.â
âBeen five years and you still know me so well baby brother.â I ruffled his hair. âI chose Ash because I figured I could at least tolerate him. I never thoughtâŠâ I smiled to myself. âI fell in love. And I love it.â
âWhat âbout the fed. Arenât you flirtingâŠâ
âFuck no!â I said. âIâm trying to get him to back off. Arenât I doing it right?â I asked Leo who chuckled.
âNo.â
âAh, fuck.â I whined. âSeriously? I mean⊠okay, I guess heâs attractive I think butâŠâ
âYou have no wish to bang him?â Leo asked me, chuckling at something he saw over my shoulder.
âFuck no. Still ace even if my boyfriend is wicked hot and I love getting down and dirty with him.â
ââŠEwwww.â
âWell, you started this conversation,â I told Leo.
ââŠYou donât seem to happy though.â Leo said, eyes flickering again.
âBecause Ash is being an idiot and I feel like I need to threaten him with a gun.â I said bluntly. âI like our relationship the way it is, but heâs convinced we need to try being ânormalâ or some shit. I like just⊠beign together. Yeah, dating is nice, but we also donât need to be Rory or Yoyo and make out every fucking where. Like⊠why? I really donât want a black light in-â
âHey!â A voice called and I went bright red as Leo laughed. I turned to see the gang- and Mateo- watching us. Yoshimitsu was pouting at me.
âDear fucking lord I forgot you were hereâŠâ I turned and glared at Leo. âI hate you.â
âHey, you were the one who fell for it.â Leo laughed. ââŠThough, the aro thingâŠâ
âGah!â I threw my hands up. âTechnically Iâm greyromantic, alright? I feel romantic feelings itâs just rare as fuck, okay?â I fall off the couch with a groan. âCan we stoooop.â
âNo, Iâm curious.â Aurora announced. ââŠDo we make you uncomfortable with flirting?â I blinked and propped myself up to stare at the gang. Ash looks as blank as ever, while Yoshimistu and Aurora are both looking at me with big eyes. Mateo looks a little embarrassed but amused.
âYes and no? I mean- I know you donât mean it you two. But⊠I will admit sometimes you push the limit, alright?â I told them bluntly. âI like it when Ash flirts, but heâs my boyfriend and I love him- thatâs different.â
 -0-
âArenât you ace?â Leo asked me as we lay on the living room floor, both exhausted.
âHmm?â
âAsexual, right? You said so when you were younger.â Leo told me honestly. âBut your in a relationshipâŠâ
âLeoâŠâ I sighed and sat up. âFirst, romance and sex are not the same. Otherwise one night stands wouldnât happen. Second, just because Iâm ace doesnât mean I donât like sex. I donât feel sexual attraction, yes, but I do enjoy sex and find Rory hot, alright?â I chuckled at his face.
âYou said you were aro to.â
âGreyromantic- bit different.â I told him honestly. âI donâtâŠâ I let out a long sigh. âRomance is weird, alright? I can write it, I can read it, I can see it, but I never felt the need to search out a partner until Rory came into my life. I fell for her.â I smiled softly.
 -0-
âI am going to end up throwing my textbook at his head, I fucking swear.â I muttered under my breath. Ash chuckled from his position beside me on the couch. I was laying curled up, reading a particularly thick textbook on the management of justice organizations.
Girlfriend of a gangster or not, I was not going to quit my bachelors. Besides, Irving had agreed to let me âinternâ for the year long work placement. Easy.
âYouâll damage the book more then his head,â Ash said as Yoshimitsu was bickering with Aurora as usual, but it had gotten annoying enough I wanted to toss a book at him.
âI know.â I muttered, turning a page.
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