#SORRY FOR BEING INACTIVE TOO LMAO | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tommiieimagiines · 9 months ago

Note

hihihi

uhm so am i allowed to request again (i don’t wanna spam) 😭😭🙏

and if i am can u pls do a rui x hopeless romantic best friend reader (i’m totally normal about best friends to lovers lmfao)

so like the reader is always yapping about hot guys and it’s a little angsty at first because rui is thinking to himself ‘why did i have to fall inlove with someone that won’t ever choose me’ and then one day a hot guy comes up to reader and asks her out, reader is about to say yes but then she realises that she barely knew him and there was someone (rui) who had been by her side since day one and she figures out who she really loves (RUIII) so she rejects him and when rui asks why she just hugs him and says ‘because your the one i really want’ mwah mwah i feel like such a genius (i really hope this made sense lmao be prepared for a million bestie-> lovers and angst-> fluff rui requests 😼)

thank youyoyoyoyoyuuu!!

hi guys! i’m so so incredibly sorry for how inactive i have been! unfortunately, the fanfic writer curse caught up to me, and i’ve had considerably bad things happen to me! ToT

i had developed a really bad addiction after a recent episode - which may be why i’ve loved to write my characters so miserable, but they get a happy ending in the end - and have recently relapsed after a couple months. i’ve also been struggling with a lot of things, like being bullied again, pressure from theater, classes, autism, parental issues, memory of past trauma, having no friends, things like that. i’ve just been having a really hard time, so writing has been super difficult for me. i’m currently having some of the worst mental health in my life, and am un-recovering from other things i’ve had in the past too, after seeing the results of my recovery. sorry if this triggered anybody, i just needed to get this off my chest, and felt also that i should explain where i have been. you all supporting me has kept me going, and i hope you enjoy this one too! LETS END THE PITY PARTY!!!

in other - not so depressing news - here you guys go!! sorry for OOCness, obviously this is a more dramatic approach to a story! happy ending, j tried to write the inner narration differently for how you two were feeling at the time.. and ty once again for such a great idea, mama ^3^

“I don’t think I could stand to be where you don’t see me.”

If he has to sit here and listen to this one more time, he thinks he’ll go insane.

Rui Kamishiro loves you. He truly does. You’re his best friend, his partner in crime, his-

Never mind.

Rui loves you, but he absolutely HATES your taste in guys, and it’s driving him nuts. Nodding and agreeing can only get him so far before he wants to rip his own hair out, and tonight is no exception.

“I give up! All boys are dumb, I don’t need them!” You lament, resting your chin in your hands. It’s the same song and dance over and over. You swear off boys, you get attention, you get sucked in, and he has to pick up the pieces when it inevitably fails. How many times has he thought about how much better he would treat you now? He doesn’t know. He’d be a classical lover, he’d never speak to you the way those stupid unprincipled high school boys do.

Gross. That’s his best friend, why’d he think that? And when did he start being so self confident? He really outta look at himself in the mirror. What an egomaniac he’s turning out to be.

He shakes his head.

“You do know I’m still a boy, right?” He prods, trying to cheer you up. He knows this situation well, and he knows exactly how to make you feel better. Again he’d pull you out of this, and again he’d watch you fall in love.

He wishes you could be happy. He wishes you weren’t in love with being in love. You’re too pure for true love, love is disgusting, depraved, and unkind. You’re not anything like that.

“I know, I know, but you’re the only good one!” You point, words self-assured. “I don’t need a boyfriend, you do everything boyfriendy for me anyway!”

Ouch. Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what he needed to hear right now. He’s not gonna dwell on that last bit for now, he’ll wait until he’s home. Then he can- he doesn’t know. Cry, or something juvenile like that.

“So I’m back-up-boyfriend?” He masks himself in jest, smiling teasingly at you.

“Eh, maybe,” you snicker, “you’d definitely be cute if you weren’t my friend.”

He turns to his school work sharply, trying to mask his complete and utter despair. Ugh, why does he have to be so dramatic? His own personality makes his skin crawl with disgust and hatred, and that only makes him cringe more. He could think about how obnoxious he is all day. Maybe he should use that go home and cry pass early. He pretends to check the time, as if that isn’t all he’s been doing.

“It’s getting late, after this problem I should get going.” He mutters, scribbling some random numbers into his notebook. You yawn in response, being broken out of absentmindedly scrolling through your phone.

“Ugh, I wish you didn’t have to go!” You drape an arm over his torso, trying to hold him in. He smiles fondly, wrestling to get you off of him.

“I’d have to walk home in the dark then, do you want that?” He knows you’d never let him, and he sees it immediately.

Your face looks knowing, and you let him go right away. It amuses him at first, but quickly fills him with overwhelming pity. You’re so kindhearted it makes him sick. You shouldn’t worry about someone like him, it’s bad for your health.

“Would you like me to walk home with you?!” You shoot up, the idea of him not being safe running through your head. Maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut. How emasculating! He’s not a helpless young girl! He’s just as manly as those boys who you long for, he’s not a puppy to be walked!

God, is jealously turning him into a bigot? He shakes his head once again, this time not just to clear his thoughts. He’s absolutely not letting you walk him home, it’d be mortifying. He takes your attention belly up, you should have a break. Maybe some time to yourself for a change? God, Rui, get a grip.

“I’m fine, I don’t want you out late by yourself either,” he assures, looking at you in haste.

“Ah. You have a point.”

“I always do.” He means more to that, and he wishes he could tell you. He wants you to see that even he knows what he’s talking about. He needs you to see him, just for once. Not as a best friend, or backup boyfriend, just as a regular one. As a lover who dances in the rain, or ties your shoes

He needs to stop. He shouldn’t think about you like that. It’s lecherous.

You two exchange goodbyes, giving him a long hug (much to his horror). He hates how feverish it is it hold you like this, it makes him feel guilty. His body gets hot, his cheeks flare up, his throat feels tight- it makes him feel like a pervert, even if his thoughts are the farthest thing from lewd.

He feels that everything he thinks about you is repulsive, though.

“Be safe”’s and “See you later”’s are passed between you two, and he walks down your front steps, now completely alone. His eyes scan the damp pavement, seeing the golden hues from the sky light the boring rock. That’s how he feels about you, he decides. You’re the sun, and he’s the pavement. He humors himself by thinking that your suitors are the clouds, stopping you from shining your light for him so he can grow weeds in the cracks of his soul. That’s what these feelings are. Weeds.

He wants to live life beautifully with you, he decides. He wants to tie your shoes, he wants to twirl you as you dance.

He wishes he could be the moon. Something of consequence- of importance, but he’s just the pavement. Not the earth, not the stars, not the clouds, or rain, he’s just a man made monster who destroys nature - you - and is walked over by people who do matter.

He should quit being this way, he grumbles, it doesn’t do anybody any good to be so flowery. He’s too girly- too weak. Maybe that’s why you don’t like him. If you’re willing to date anything that moves other than him, that must mean he’s on a completely new level, huh?

That’s what dreaming gets you, Rui. Crushed dreams and embarrassment.

He lets out a pitiful sigh, kicking a pebble with his shoe. He sees a worm in a lawn which reminds him of himself, he sees a couple shopping for a new game which reminds him of you, he sees a convenience store which reminds him that he’s hungry-

His life can be so mundane sometimes, what a drag.

He’s about to reach his front door, when he steps into a puddle. It feels like an appropriate representation of his life right now. A sense of disgraceful hilarity washes over him, and he begins to laugh. He laughs a while, he laughs as he takes his shoes off, he laughs as he peels his button up down, and he laughs as he lays in his bed. How dramatic he could be some times!

He falls asleep quickly. He has a dream about being on stage and forgetting his lines.

He wakes up with a thud, he fell out of bed. How embarrassing. He decides to check his phone.

Weirdo: RUII

Weirdo: wanna hang w me 2day?? u don’t have dance time right??

Weirdo: gonna kill you. WAKE UP

Me: I’m awake, sorry!

Weirdo: finally sleeping beauty

Weirdo: wanna get a snack? i’m simply starved…

Me: When?

Weirdo: an hr maybe…

Me: Okay :) I’ll tell you when I leave.

Weirdo: kay!!

He really doesn’t feel like being social today, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to see you. He’s an obscene degenerate when it comes to you, pouncing on your attention like a sick dog. It’s mortifyingly pathetic.

He gets dressed, throwing on a boring striped sweater. It’s getting colder outside recently, and he’s always ran cold anyway. His hands are shaky and nervous as he brushes his teeth, the anxiousness to see you making his body jittery. He considers breakfast, but quickly shuts the idea down. He doesn’t want to be stressed out - at least more than he already is - when he sees you. Twitchy hands lock his door, and he gets a few feet away before he double checks that he did, in fact, lock it. Pull yourself together, Rui! He screams at himself.

The walk is just as unexciting as he expected, albeit a bit chilly. He’s feeling thankful for the sweater. The breeze runs its hands through his hair, and he’s reminded that winter is coming. He always liked Autumn flowers the best, hibiscus flowers are pretty too, he supposes. It’s nice to have the warmth of the sun soothing his cold hands during summer, for sure.

He trips over a rock on the way, and his pants get wet on the knees. Khaki blends into an ugly brown, and he sighs. How unlucky, would anything go right for him today?

Turns out it will, you look really good today.

You great him at the door, practically buzzing with eagerness. It makes him smile, knowing that you do, in fact, want to see him. Or at least are acting like it. You’re a good friend to him, he’s lucky to have you.

“Rui!” You hug him as a greeting, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. His heart soothes, eyes closing in relaxation. Problems feel obscure and distant when you two are like this, despite his reluctance last night. He can forget about corrupt feelings - or misguided love- and he can just be your best friend. Despite his apprehension to be cared for, he is flattered that you, at least, seem to like him.

“Hey.” He breaths you in, his voice soft. He hopes you don’t notice, it’s embarrassing.

“Hey!” You reply, pulling away. “Big things planned, Rui!”

“What big things?” He asks, amused. “Big things” for you were junk food and shopping.

“Big things! It’s a surprise!” You put your shoes on, and he can’t help but feel jealous as he watches your hands tie them dutifully. He sighs, stretching. He decides to make it a challenge to act normal the whole day. No weird thoughts are going to beguile his mind, he promises himself.

You lock your front door, twisting the knob to make sure that it did, in fact, lock. This fills him with a child-like sense of delight, maybe you two really were similar.

Nah, not possible. You’re too pure - too perfect. Ugh, Rui, no more stupid thoughts.

He watches you check the time, make a face at a nearby bird, and cover your cheeks with your hands. You suddenly perk up, wrapping your arms around him.

“Warm me up, will ya?” You scowl at the cool air, grip tightening. He gulps. It’s weird he reacts like this, considering you two have done things like this all the time. It’s normal, so why does he have to be such a creep? His arms wrap around yours, running his hands up and down to create heat.

“Should’ve worn a jacket,” he chides, “wouldn’t be cold, y’know?” His voice is so casual, like everything is totally fine. It is fine. Fine, fine, fine.

“Gotta look good. I’m on the hunt, obviously,” you joke. It isn’t funny to him, but he lets out a laugh.

“You’re hopeless.”

You two stop at a convenience store first, and you all but sprint to the drinks. He had this ritual down to a science. You grab two different color slushies, and he grabs whatever odd snack catches your collective stomachs eye today. Today the two of you decide to split a cookie, and walk to the counter. The cashier gives you a smirk, and he averts his eyes.

“This it?” The boy cocks his head, and you get the memo. You immediately jump on the opportunity.

“Mhm!” You wink, resting your chin in your hands while leaning against the counter. In all honestly, he wasn’t even that cute. At least, that’s what Rui kept telling himself.

“Don’t worry about it, than. I got you guys,” he waves you off. Score! You think, but he adds. “If I can get your number.” Rui feels like falling into the floor, how awkward! You just scribble it onto a stray receipt, winking.

“Thank you! You’re the sweetest!!” You singsong, skipping along with Rui following suite. You immediately burst into laughter, throwing a fake punch at Rui. “What a weirdo! Like I’d call him over what, 1000 yen?! I don’t even know him, yuck!”

So you did have some sense, he feels like letting out a sigh of relief. You hold your hands out.

“Which one do you want? I got your favorite!!” You look so proud, and he wants to laugh. His “favorite” isn’t actually his favorite, but he’d never tell you that.

The lie started one day in middle school, when the two of you suddenly had a weird craving for slushies. When you picked them out, you had gotten a red one and a blue one, and asked him what he wanted. While he really didn’t like red, he knew you liked blue, so he said red. Now for the past four years, you’ve always ended up getting him a red one, thinking it was his favorite. He’ll deal with it for you. Seeing your blue tongue stick out with brain freeze is better than any sugary drink anyway.

“Red, duh.” He scoffs playfully, taking a sip of it. The taste doesn’t really bother him all that much anymore. It reminds him of you.

You always let him divide the snacks, thinking he gives himself the bigger half. He never does, but he eats slower so you think he did. You skip along, enjoying it.

“Y’know, this isn’t bad. Wish they had the brownie, though. That never does us wrong.” God, don’t make him think of the ‘crack brownies’ - as you two call them. Those are great, and he likes them, so you never miss an opportunity to shove them down his throat.

“Don’t complain. Remember the egg roll incident?” He points, laughing at the memory. You two steer clear of that section now, having gotten sick.

“Ugh, I haven’t thought about that in a while! I’m never eating an egg roll again after that day! Ugh,” you gag.

Moments of silly memories like this make him feel like he’s known you forever. He can’t even remember a moment where he hasn’t loved you.

“Where’re we going now, commander?” He salutes, following the trail of sunshine you left behind.

“Where ever the wind blows us, kind sir!” You salute back, pushing him along. Your constant checks of your phone don’t go unnoticed by him, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Who’re you texting? Don’t tell me it’s that guy.” He tries to sound casual, knocking his shoulder against yours playfully.

“‘M not a total idiot, I’ll have you know!” You huff, holding your phone to your chest. “It’s just somebody we went to school with a while back, ‘m seeing if I can pull the moves.”

“Do I know him?”

“Dunno, never saw you two talking, so maybe not. He was in my english class, remember, the only class we didn’t have together?”

“Ah.”

You two walk in silence, except for when he yanks you back from the collar so you don’t walk into oncoming traffic, which amuses you greatly. You two soon arrive at the small mall, and he tails you as you run with excitement. You two browse everything, constantly pointing out cute plushies, or interesting keychains.

“Rui, look! Look!” You shake him, pointing to the back of somebody’s head inconspicuously. “Wait don’t yet- Okay, now! He’s turning around! That’s the guy! What a coincidence we see him here, right? Do you recognize him?”

Ha. Yeah, he knows this guy. He definitely knows him. He’s the one who would trip him during passing periods, he’s the one who left flowers on his desk. They make eye contact, and it’s like all of his growth left his body. He’s just the same freak from middle school, he’s still thirteen.

He shudders at the guys smirk, sensing that he definitely knows that Rui knows him. He jogs over to the two of you, and Rui already knows what’s about to happen, due to the lopsided smile on your face.

Damnit, this is the first time he doesn’t think he can act like it’s okay.

“Oh wow, what a coincidence! Must be fate we run into each other like this, ehe…” You giggle awkwardly, a dumb expression gracing your face. It’s painful seeing you that way for anybody other than him, and he looks away awkwardly.

“Must be.” He answers, swaggering closer towards you. Rui thanks whatever God above because - despite his current situation - at least this asshole didn’t go to highschool with you guys.

He looks down at his shoes, and tries to shuffle away, knowing this jackass is about to say something. He’s quickly stopped.

“Who’s this, huh? Feel like a recognize him from somewhere…” He trails off, smirking through his nose as he turns his attention to him. “Have we met before?”

“This is Kamishiro Rui, he’s my friend! He went to middle school with us, remember?” You happily answer for him.

Ha, friend? What happened to back-up boyfriend? He’s a little hurt, to be honest.

He feels bitter, it’s unbecoming- God, he doesn’t care. He should feel bad for getting so angry over it, it’s not like you belong to him. He’s such a freak, getting attached to you like this.

He starts to pick at his fingers, then he plays with a loose string on his sweater. You two continue to chat like nothings wrong, and he keeps thinking. It’s something he’s gotten good at recently.

He stops feeling bad about himself for a second- a split second where he resents you, and wishes his pain upon you. Wants you to know what it’s like to be so disgustingly, guiltily, revoltingly obsessed with someone. In this split second, he can’t even find it in himself to feel guilty about it, which is unlike him. He wishes you felt love like this, that you were as psychotic about it.

But this doesn’t last long, because he remembers that he loves you more than anything. He’s lucky to be your friend. You’re a great friend, you’re an amazing person, you’re the sun, the sun, the sun.

He’s the pavement, he has to remember.

“I’m- I’ll leave you to it, y’know? Fabric store.” He stutters, choking on his voice. You don’t even notice, waving him off.

You do, however, remember to press his shoulder, uttering an absentminded “Okay, Rui, bye,” and he remembers again how perfect you are for doing it subconsciously. He lets himself feel the touch, long after he’s walked away. He deserves it after the trouble he’s reliving.

When he makes it to the fabric store - which he really didn’t need anything from, Nene had gotten some the other day - he can’t help himself from wishing he could just go home. Malls were always overwhelming already, and now his saving grace has the attention of another man. He walks through aisles, but realizes that he now has to buy something.

‘Least he knows that social cue, he laughs bitterly, running his hands across his face in frustration. He’s so ridiculous.

Meanwhile, you were chatting up a storm. It was your first time talking in person since middle school, after all! You feel giddy for a while, but it cuts abruptly. You feel a strange sense of urgency, something’s missing.

Oh, your best friend.

But where had he gone? You’re sure he was just here. You smile apologetically at the cute boy, putting on your best performance.

“Oh, I better go get my friend now. I don’t like walking home when it’s late. Was nice seein’ you, let’s hang out soon, ‘kay?” You singsong, stepping closer. You want to give yourself a pat on the back, you’re so cute.

He rolls his eyes, and you’re hit with a wave of uneasiness. That noise he made sounds strangely dismissive, he’s not the kind of guy to be a jerk though, you must be hearing things-

“Leave ‘im. Between you and me, he was a total freak in middle school. Probably is now, too. Probably likes you or somethin’, total nutcase.” His voice sounds so casual, like it’s not the douchiest thing you’ve heard all day.

You let other men walk all over you, sure. You let them cheat on you, lie, whatever. But you’re not about to stand here and insult Rui. He’s the only untouched thing in your life - the only person who isn’t cruel. He’s so gangly and awkward, but in the best way. You could live a million times and not be able to deserve him, at least you think so. He’s so unusual, and that’s what you love most about him. Little things like not liking loud lights, or liking the red slushies the best, make your heart buzzy with familiarity. He’s the one constant in your life.

You’ve been awfully worried about him recently, though. His particularly (as you like to call it) has gone to the an extreme, and it’s been a battle getting him to eat real food. You’re not blind, you see the way he’s been spacing out, or tapping a little too much. You just thought he’d been overwhelmed. He worries you to death sometimes, but despite all of his own struggles, he always seems to not care about it, deciding to always be there for you instead. Ah, he’s just such an amazing guy - no, not guy, he’s not anything like those other boys you talk to. He’d never insult someone like that. He’s not just a guy, he’s like your person.

Yeah, he’s definitely your person.

Your heart sputters at the thought, and you feel something you’ve never really felt before - save for hugs between the two of you that lasted just a second too long, or words a little too romantic. The feeling makes your mind fuzzy, and your heart hurt terribly with something you could only place as homesickness.

Oh.

“I,” you begin, backing away. “Yeah, I’m sorry but I’ll really be going now-“

“What? C’mon I was just messing with you, even though having guy friend’s kinda weird.” He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah whatever, I’ll call you back,” you say dismissively.

You’re totally lying, you laugh, you’re not calling him back.

He didn’t seem to like that.

“Damn, can’t even joke around with you people. Whatever, weirdo, sorry I insulted your little boyfriend.” The change in tone amuses you.

Yeah, good riddance, pal.

You turn away, walking through the mall with pace. It takes a while, but you spot him watching a pet stores aquarium.

He’s a funny one.

You wave your hands, trying to get his attention. He swallows, knowing that it’s probably to ask him if it’s cool to walk home by himself. Emotions are stupid, and ironically, you both think that at the same time.

“Rui! Rui! Hey c’mon, let’s go home, yeah?” You smile, face feeling warm. It’s a different feeling from when you usually talk to him. He looks at you, a little shocked. He had assumed you were smiling wide because you set up a date, so he turns his head.

“Where is he, huh?” He looks away, back to the fish tank. You shift in place, was he mad at you? You’re a little irritated at the mention of the guy, though, and huff.

“Don’t worry about that. Seems like I only attract douchebags, so I decided to go.” You explain, poking his shoulder. “Hey,” you start, “let’s just walk home, I wanna talk to you about something.” The idea makes you feel dizzy, but you’ll have to illustrate your feelings one day.

You can leave out the “I think I’m in love with you” part, you think.

The two of you walk in an excruciating silence, staring down at the reflection of the setting sun in the puddles. His heart tightens, remembering his earlier comparison. Even now, you’re so perfect. Even if he’s frustrated with you - despite you turning down the guy in the end (he doesn’t know why, he wanted to ask) - even if he’s ready to scream, and cry, and ask you what it is he did for you to be so turned off by him, he still thinks you’re the most heavenly, divine person to ever grace his view. He wants to be where you see him, he wants to be in your orbit.

“You’re like the sun-“ He blurts out, immediately regretting it. He didn’t mean to say that, God, he’s so fucking stupid. He sees you stop walking, smiling that same stupid, dopey, lopsided smile that he’s always so jealous of-

Oh. It’s for him.

He chokes, stopping to meet you eye-to-eye. You look up at him too, laughing giddily.

“What does that mean?”

He sputters, stepping away. “N-no it’s nothing- It was stupid anyway so-“

“No, tell me!” You urge, laughing a little harder. “What if it was something bad, ‘nd you were making fun of me? That’s not nice, Rui!”

“I- Hey-“ His voice goes a touch higher, a defensive tone rising. “That’s not-“

“Then tell me.”

“It’s just,” he breaths, trying to word it in the least creepy way possible. How does convey the fact that he sees you as a divine presence, that he sees himself as a worthless creature compared to you, without sounding like he’s hopelessly possessed by love for you? “I just- you’re so amazing,” he starts, “I thought of this stupid thing the other day when I was walking home - you know how I am - and well, I just thought of you when the sun reflected off the pavement - since it rained, y’know? - and well, it just- Sorry, it was dumb-“ He rambles, covering his face in anguish.

Nobody’s ever put that much thought into you. Sure, you’ve received a few ‘You’re so gorgeous’’s, where you’ve had to wonder where they learnt such a “big word”, but never something as poetic as that. The usual Rui-ratic explanation endeared you to him even more. You look at him, the smile never leaving. He’s just… so Rui. His stupid striped sweater, his half up hair - that you’d begged him to grow out - his eyes, whatever. Everything about him you treasure, and little do you know he cherished you even that more intensely.

“I think you’re the moon, Rui. Or maybe the earth, since I take care of you, hah!” You snicker, stepping closer to him. He takes a step back in return, and you grab his hands to make him stay put. His heart throbs, and he almost goes crashing down.

“I.. I don’t-“

You yank his hands, making him look back up at you. “Hey, Rui, I,” you look at him assuringly, “I wanna say something, and you can’t laugh okay?”

He holds his breath, so do you.

Fuck it, just tell him.

“I think I’m in love with you, Rui.” You gaze at him, the words shooting out faster than you can second guess them.

“I don’t-“ He breaks away, his fists balling up. You messed up, you think, you really, really messed up. “I’m not- I’m not going to- You can’t just say that because you got rejected. I- It wouldn’t be nice to- You don’t love me-“

“Rui,” you beg, grabbing his arm again, “holding hands on the way to school, cuddling while doing homework, knowing everything about eachother, these aren’t-“ You breath, “I’ve wanted somebody to love me for so long, Rui, and I was so blind to the fact that I was loved. But the love that I felt for you, - that I feel for you - Rui, isn’t the kind where I can be- where I can just be so- so normal about those things!” You monologue, saying whatever’s on your mind. You’re the rambling one now.

“I found myself comparing you to these piece-of-garbage dude’s I’m always with, wishing I could just date somebody like you instead! But now I realize that it is you-“

His heart falls into his gut, and he breaks free from you again. His hands move to his face, covering his eyes. His voice is broken and cracky as he begins to cry. “That was- you-“ He pulls you into a desperate embrace, arms holding you like you’ll disappear. “You shouldn’t, you’re wrong.” He sobs, “I’m- the way I love you is- You don’t understand, the way I feel isn’t normal I- My love is disgusting, and horrible, and depraved-“ He shakes, you rub his back. “You are so perfect compared to me, I’d never be able to- I love you so much, more than friends are supposed to, more than anyone’s supposed to at our age-“

“Rui, hey Rui please don’t cry.” You beg, smoothing out the ridges in his sweater. “I don’t- I don’t agree with that, and I can scream that at you, but I’m sure you won’t believe me. You’re not disgusting for feeling emotions different, Rui that’s what I love about you.”

“Stop- stop saying my name like that. It’s too hard to-“

“Rui, I love you. You don’t need to accept it, but I love you. More than being in love, more than being loved-“

“I love you, too,” his voice cracks, “that’s why I’m so scared. I don’t want to ruin a friendship that’s all I have, if this is just- I’m scared I’d lose you in any way, and I can’t live in a world where you don’t see me. I won’t. It’s sounds horrible but-“ He stops as you pull away from the hug, and wipes his face hastily. You put your pinky out, and his stomach drops again.

“C’mon, just like when we were kids. Pinky promise that no matter what, we’ll always see each other. That way you don’t need to worry anymore, y’know? I never break my kissy pinky promises, ever.”

Just like when you two were little.

He locks his with yours, just like you taught him all those years ago. He remembers your shared handshake for theater, he remembers your shared handshake for testing, and he remembers the song you two had to duet for choir - when you have forced him into it for a year. He holds everything of you so dear to his heart, you endear everything about him to you as well.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I see you.”

“I see you, too.”

You two kiss your hands, then bring them down, still interlinked. You stare at him, and he stares back at you. In a moment of profound sincerity, you lean forward, and kiss him. It’s slow and gentle, and you unlock your hands half way through to hold his face, which he mirrors. His heart settles for the first time. You see him. He’s your moon, your earth, you’re his sun, his stars.

He’s suddenly alarmed by a quick pushing off of him, gasping out a “Rui!”

“I-“ he pants, wiping his mouth. “Hm?”

“we’re in the middle of a park!”

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luv-again · 2 months ago

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Aha another question!

How would Shadow and Amy take care of each other when the other got sick?

I imagine that Shadow would be alerted because it would bring him back to when Maria was sick so he would not leave Amy’s side but maybe you have a different view on it.

yippee another question !!

going to chuck this all under the cut, because my answer is not as short as i thought it was going to be lmao (also be warned this regrettably is a veery shadow-centric yaparoo)

first of all, i'm absolutely on the same bandwagon as you. like,, you cannot tell me shadow would sit idle when someone else gets sick. you cannot tell me something like this scene in dark beginnings would never be repeated again in a future circumstance :

doesn't matter how, shadow's gonna fret. he's gonna be pedantic. not overbearing, but definitely more stern and watchful. shadow has known to make parallels between his current situation and that of an occurrence with maria (i mean, just look at those cutscenes in sa2 !). she is ingrained in his memory - linked to trauma or not - she is always in his mind and heart

shameful plug, but i wrote something in similar here in one of my shadamy fics, where shadow, in a moment of vulnerability, confesses his worry for amy's wellbeing (with the implication his past playing a factor in his instinctual response). contextually, not quiiite in the same ballpark, but close enough to say i definitely share your mindset

"Sorry, I don't mean to sound impertinent; seeing lethargy in you triggered a warning in me and I... I worry." — Sin and Sublimation

you're right though, shadow would remain by amy's side, whether she's come down with the common cold or something long-term. that scene in dark beginnings alone could say that not only does he care about maria, but he's a caretaker in general and therefore wouldn't likely leave amy to deteriorate while she's under the weather

i don't remember where the post is or who posted it, but someone had an awesome hc where they believe shadow serves a similar function to how a medical care animal would and i don't remember if this was part of the post, but i hc that shadow has an ability/sense to sniff out illness before symptoms even crop up. or if it's long-term, sense a flare-up before it hits. of course, it wouldn't help him any with prevention in most cases, but a part of him is always aware

point is, shadow's onto it. he's finding the best way to minimise suffering if it's within his power to do so. of course, he's not going to leave amy bedridden and miserable - and that applies both through inaction and being too controlling. he's going to look after her but won't hold amy back if she feels capable of doing something. anyway, all this allows for him to be able to step back into a role familiar to him. one he treats with utmost diligence

amy however, is so much harsher on shadow. and that's because he was under the belief he couldn't get sick (next stop : denial station ??). as a thought, he was possibly immune to every condition known at the time, but that's the thing, especially regarding airborne illnesses (iykyk) : they evolve. i think shadow in general probably has a rough as guts immune system, so it might fight whatever it is off before it becomes a problem, but if it did hit ? amy's going to make sure he doesn't do anything reckless and instead rests well. shadow probably has a hard time being cared for, all things considered, so that on top of being sick is all overwhelmingly new to him. i think amy likes to make chicken noodle soup and bring him a hot water bottle and watch movies with him - that kinda thing :) she herself is probably used to looking after cream or vanilla when they're sick so she knows just what to do to help someone through their sickness

regardless, they're a loyal team, your honour. i stand by this 'til my last breath, i do <33

#bee blabs #bee's box #tw illness #shadamy #amadow #shadow x amy #amy x shadow #shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #maria robotnik #ark siblings #headcanon #but also kind of an analysis ??#(also i didn't want to tag in case i came off as intrusive #but HoneyLicious on ao3 has a whole fic surrounding this concept called 'I Can't Breathe Without You'#which is defo a recommended read if ur into that sorta thing !!)#i was also going to make another point abt shadow's need for the air shoes and limiter/inhibitor rings and how that affects him #but this post is already too long and i talk way too much abt shadow as is ;-;#anyway ty again for the ask !!! <3

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hydriadd · 1 year ago

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WOOO RANDOM DEATH FAMILY HEADCANONS

Lmao sorry pissa and death family nation for being somewhat inactive, take these headcanons that probably don’t align with canon as compensation

THIS IS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOT CONTENT CREATORS BTW

Not a single person in the Death Family is warm to touch and can often be cold before bed, their houses and nests are always somehow really warm and blanket full

Missa and Phil built a small shelf in the kitchen in the house at old spawn, Missa and Chayanne have filled it with cookbooks

Tallulah knows how to make perfume and because Missa has been away for a while, Tallulah has been making perfumes for him for when he gets back

Adding onto the last one, there have been lots of ‘failed attempts’, ie Tallulah was being nit picky with the scents and trying to figure out exactly what he likes

Missa will like anything and everything given to him, so long as it’s made with love

Phil, on the other hand, will like everything and anything given to him even if it’s given with hate, because he assumes the other has a connection to it (assumes they might just like things like he does)

When Missa first left on the old spawn Phil used to make small dinners for him that wouldn’t go bad for a while just in case Missa came back when he came back

Overtime, they would get more complex and put in the fridge with a note left for him

Every single meal, regardless of what it is, will have toast cut in the shape of Phil’s had with avocado making the green stripes, and another toast cut like a skull with blueberries for the details

Chayanne used to stress bake when his parents were gone, and that improved his skills in cooking really quickly

Tallulah walks extremely quietly, Chayanne picked this up and it scares Phil every time

Despite his parents vibes and all that, Chayanne refuses to wear black sweaters specifically, shirts are on thin ice and black k shorts or pants are a coin flip, this is because he doesn’t like flour showing on them when he doesn’t want to use an apron

Tallulah used to pick at her nails when nervous, but started picking at flowers instead and now her nails hurt if she scratches you

It doesn’t matter who you are, if you become apart of the Death Family, the first thing you’re taught is how to paint your nails

When Phil doesn’t have a bookmark with him and when his wings had healed enough, he would pluck a feather out and use it as a bookmark

Either Phil or Missa doggy ears pages in a book and genuinely can’t tell who, I just think one of them does even if they have a bookmark available

There are a shit ton of keychains on Phil’s bag, you give him one, it could be of anything (besides anything fed related), it’s going on that bag

Phil sometimes wishes he could proper speak bird, I guess, this is only so he could also flirt with and compliment Missa in another language like he does

Chayanne has crocs

When Tallulah cut her hair, she asked for a photo of Missa and mimicked his hairstyle

Whenever Missa is awake/goes to sleep with Phil, the eggs silently rejoice because those two hug each other extremely closely when they sleep

Despite Missa being gone for the longest time, when Phil didn’t come back on Mexican Independence Day, he developed a fear of him leaving him, like physically being far away when he didn’t know where he is and if he was okay, he understands now what Phil feels when he’s gone

Missa, because he’s the tallest between a bird man and children, will pick them up and spin them, even if only for a bit lmao he’s not strong

Adding onto that one, whenever Phil is too excited or stress or just overwhelmed with any emotions, Missa spins him around to help and it works for some reason

Phil started to spin himself in circles when overwhelmed and when Missa was gone

After the birdhouse and when Phil was physically alone, he used to sit by a crafting table with rocks and ores and make little figures of Chayanne, Tallulah and Missa, they weren’t the best and didn’t the proportions weren’t amazing, but he spent weeks on each one and added little faces with a marker

He left the Chayanne and Tallulah statues on their respective beds, with Missa beside the flower pot, hoping they would be replaced with the real people when he woke up

They never were, but Phil put them in the window upstairs once the eggs were back

When the eggs first went missing, Phil took out some cookbooks, and every single meal that looked frequently used/visited was made, and always left out for Missa

If they weren’t eaten, Phil would eat half of it for his dinner the next day, the other half in a fridge

He actually made Missa a fridge to put all these meal in and painted it to suit his vibes

The trash cans used to always filled with sticky notes because everyday, Phil would write ‘Dinner for you’ with a silly little doodle on it for Missa if he returned while sleeping

Tallulah writes in cursive

When Missa was gone, Phil used to write his name like Misƨa (second s is backwards) and make the tops each s look like half a heart, so it made a heart in his name

Missa picked up on this and always wrote Philza instead of Phil so he could put a heart with the z and a

Im bad at explaining so this is what I mean by their names:

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aetherdoesthings · 1 year ago

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Can we get a bi sanji x bi reader gushing over all the cute girls they see together (I'm in the fem lean of my bi cycle rn lol)?

elo! lmao same.

forethoughts: sorry for my inactivity; dealing w a lot of personal problems atm. i'm okay, dw :>

notes: bi!reader, bi!sanji, both being absolutely fucking simps.

When you first joined the Straw Hats, you immediately hit it off with Sanji. Not because you liked making food and were an excellent cook, but because of something more… obscure.

Every morning when everyone gathered in the galley to eat breakfast, Sanji would be gushing over Nami and Robin, giving them extra food and all the extra love and care. To everyone’s dismay, you did too, offering some of your food to them and giving them compliments about their look.

Nami and Robin always received your compliment differently than Sanji would. While Sanji would be loud and outburst, always going the extra mile for the two of them, you were more quiet. It was obvious at some times you were head over heels for both Nami and Robin, always choosing to stick close to one of them during missions or just occasionally looking at one of the two for a longer period of time.

Nami and Robin welcomed your silence, admiring much more than they did Sanji’s, and always admired how you would instantly blush and run away whenever they complimented you back.

At night, you and Sanji would be screaming, crying, throwing up about all your encounters with Robin or Nami and how they were Goddesses in your eyes. You’d spend hours with him coming up with ways to make them happy.

“WHAT FRAGRANCES DO GIRLS LIKE?!” Sanji shouted.

“HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!” You shouted back.

“YOU’RE A GIRL, Y/N!”

“DON’T MEAN I KNOW WHAT FRAGRANCES THEY LIKE!”

Eventful meetings you had Sanji had gushing over Nami and Robin.

When you went out to shop for more food, if you ever stumbled across some cute girls, you’d put your hand over your face to hide how red your cheeks were and look away respectfully, blocking any perverted or intrusive thoughts. Sanji would go over to talk to them, bombarding them with questions and giving them compliment after compliment.

#one piece #op #vinsmoke sanji #black leg sanji #sanji x reader #cat burglar nami #nami #nico robin #simps #aetherasks

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py-dreamer · 2 months ago

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@violetjedisylveon

I am alive, sorry for being so inactive lol.

Busy with test preparations, ANYWAYS

I know this isn't quite the design you made for rotten fruits au but I just wanted to delve into the idea of Wukong once being a juvenile criminal who was wrongfully tortured has been through hell and back but has been rehabilitated and is now a fruit seller.

I don't remember how old he's meant to be but I assumed given he and mac are similar ages and Mac has kids that are like around 10 maybe they're probably in their mid-thirties by demon standards so yea, very chillaxed uncle vibe, the eyebags support that but also cause he been through da trauma :(

(Can definitely tell he's seen some sh!t)

You said he's built quite the reputation and in one of the asks he thinks he could just slap on a hat and sunglasses as a disguise lol so I thought why not give him the bucket/sun hat and sunglasses he has in the beach scene

Then the rest of the outfit fell from there.

Idk, why but I thought a cool shark-tooth or maybe like a claw or geode necklace would be cool as like a small good memory from his criminal past.

The peach shirt, I'm pretty sure I've used before I'm not sure BUT I knew I had to include the hoodie somehow so I just tied it around his waist since if most of the year Megapolis (or at least I'm assuming the au takes place there) is sunny and he's hauling lots of fruits around then short sleeves are more practical for him.

Sweatpants and sandals, not much else to say, just seems like some good ol practical wear at a fruit market, but the fingerless gloves were a fun touch to still give him that hint of a youthful spirit and maybe hint at his criminal past...

Then I realised his design looked way too much like his beach outfit sans the hoodie and pink fur so I added the fanny pack since that's basically a staple for any shopkeeper in a market but he still looked too much like a beach bum so I made the second backup outfit just in case

(Though maybe that could be his downtime outfit?)

Second outfit, thought it'd be practical for him to put his hair up in a ponytail since he's working and I love long hair Wukong and all but why not have fun with the hairstyles.

I think the apron and the cap really sell the fruit seller look. Very classic and the face mask is just a bonus on top.

I also didn't draw the scar where the circlet would be because I imagine he'd try to hide it with hats so you'd rarely see him without them.

I also have to wonder despite the fur, did he have any tatoos since he was like in a gang and young and dumb?

Maybe the pink was meant to cover up those marks and make up for the loss of noticible missing patches of fur from torture (poor baby...) Just food for thought.

I'd also imagine before finding his footing at his fruit stall, he'd help work for pigsy as like a waiter and I saw this meme of like restaurants in Malaysia where the waiters scream your order at the freaking top of their lungs and that just seemed so Wukong coded lol

(also @ainnur, just curious but do you happen to be Malaysian or live in Malaysia at one point cause I saw your ask of Wukong using ringits at the fruit stall with your OC who asked for durian and I had a sneaking suspicion lmao)

And don't be expecting any frequent updates cause Ima most likely be really busy in the following months but glad this piece got me out of the weeds for a bit

EDIT: Forgot to include in the sketch but I think a bandana (not the strip type like MK's, more like the square bit of fabric like cleaning maids wear) tied around his head would be cute, then he and MK could match!

#lmk #lego monkie kid #my beloved #py's_art #art #pog champ #Rotten Fruit AU #shadowpeach au #lmk wukong #lmk sun wukong #lmk wukong deserves all the love #lmk brotherhood #sun wukong #lego monkey king #lmk monkey king #lmk au #lego monkie kid fanart

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spoiled-milk · 10 months ago

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blush blush characters’ (kelby, volks, eli, ichiban, cashew, and cole personal headcannons (imo‼️‼️)

a/n: doing some of my personal favorites then some lemme know if y’all want more. ik this is probably done already but like i like yapping on company time 🤪 i'm so inactive i am so sorry i am not cooking

content warning: none except for mild swearing and not proof read lmao

word count: ~2.0k words

kelby

would love love LOVE it if his s/o made him laugh or laugh at his jokes (even if they’re all sports related)

since he is an athlete and all i think that he knows how to cook healthier meals, but if you cooked anything for him, he would probably eat it since it's from you as long as it isn’t like covered in grease

he loves being around you, so if you go on morning jogs or evening jogs with it would mean the world to him and he values that a lot (even if he has to carry u halfway through the jog / walk it with you)

i don't think he would be too pushy with his diet on you, respects people and their own diets but would gently push for a healthier diet such as salads and low carb foods

if i were to suggest an ideal date for him is kayaking. it's a great work-out for him and it's a great opportunity to show you all the breathtaking sights that the river y'all kayak has to offer

kelby has weekly basketball games, baseball games, and swim meets, and he understands that it is a lot, but if you attended some of them or go out of your way to support him, his insides get gooey, and he feels like he could run fifteen miles

he lives and craves for physical touch. kelby will take what you can give. hugs? great. holding hands? awesome. linking your arms in his? he's in heaven

ok, to be a lil saucy here i think kelby would think you're super mega hot when you work out. here you are running on a treadmill sweat on your face and chest and he's definitely staring at you and now he's got to go to the shower rooms and get his head out of the gutters

also think of this guy’s stamina c'mon you can’t tell me that this guy would only go one wahoo round with you yk (source: me don’t ask)

eli

if you and them are even remotely the same size clothing wise, they are going to take your clothes. no asking or nothing eli will just rummage through your closet and make a fit with a few of your borrowed clothes

one time they stretched out one of your baby tees and you were so bummed out when you found it after they wore it and now eli swears to never take another one of those shirts again

would probably date someone who can put a really good outfit so that they can steal it

would also love if someone would watch anime with them please just give ouran high school host club a chance pls pls pls pls

they probably enjoy watching shoujo or slice of life but if you wanted to watch something else, they probably would watch it with you bc they like you lots

if you watch something that you started with them and watch ahead of them? they’re heartbroken. devastated. defeated. the first and the only time you did that they were inconsolable

would take you clubbing if you were up to it but if clubs aren’t your scene, they totally respect that and won’t push you out of your comfort zone

they will also take really really REALLY good care of you if you get wasted around them and they are really good at keeping you safe

very very personal BUT ELI FUCKS WITH VOCALOID‼️‼️‼️NO ITS NOT A PHASE

if you listen to vocaloid and reveal that to him he will spam you with new songs that drop by the vocaloid producers that he likes

i am a firm believer that eli fucks so hard with giga p you can’t convince me other wise sorry i make the rules

if u don’t know what vocaloid they will make you listen to a couple of songs that he thinks pass off as normal but again if you fw vocaloid then he can start showing you some niche vocaloid songs

volks

such an acts of service man. if you played his lil date thing you would know (i need to go back n double check this by playing it again)

gives off his moody dark grumpy energy but fuck it I’ll be in the minority that believes he likes being small spoon please give him head kisses he enjoys them even though he will not tell you

i think that volks in the beginning of your relationship is uncomfortable with pda but as your relationship continues, he’s gotten used to holding your hand or giving you quick pecks in public

at home though? his hands are on you always. a hand on your leg, your legs on top of his legs, his arms wrapped around your waist. he always has one of his hands on you

if you go on hikes for either leisure or to exercise, he will join you as much as possible every single time

HAS 👏A 👏 REALLY 👏 GOOD 👏 SKIN ROUTINE. he’s a model photoshop can only do so much yk. expect to do skincare together and face masks at the end of the week

has a very early bedtime (like probably 11pm or like midnight at the latest) so when he’s getting ready for bed so are you by force

if you wake up later than him whenever he has an early photoshoot, he will always prepare you a portion of whatever he made for himself

he wants you to meet his mom once it’s confirmed that y’all are serious. you two are the two most important people in his life (and he doesn’t have a lot of people in his life who matter the way that y’all do) and he wants to make sure that his mom gives you a seal of approval (as long as you make volks happy, you win her approval dw)

he knows he’s not the most romantic person out there but makes sure that you’re taken care of. that’s how he shows that he cares. he hopes that the way that he makes your bed, organizes your work desk, and applies moisturizer to your hands after you’ve long fallen asleep is able to convey the feelings of love and adoration, he has just for you

ichiban

tries to keep your relationship a secret from his fans and it works in his video formats because duh you can edit those but when he’s live streaming? he’s cooked. tf you mean he can’t just talk about how cute you are when you nap or gush about the way that you cutely hog the blankets when y’all nap together?

he was scared that his fans would not be too happy at the idea that he was in a relationship, but most of his fans were not like that at all. most of his fans are the sweetest people

some of them even tag you in some edits of ichiban and not gonna lie you watch some of them because DAYUM your man is fine

ok, some of his fans immediately become your fans when they see you on for the first time on his stream and that ichiban was not prepared for but he also was not prepared for the edits of YOU that go around his community

his chat makes it well known that if he fucks it up with you they’re all gonna come n snatch you up because you’re such a treat

is not very good with words or actions he’s kinda like a cute boyfailure but you can’t fault him too much he’s just so stinkin cute at being clueless

does this say anywhere in his voice lines or in his phone fling? no, but i do not care. um anyways, i think ichiban has a thing for building personal computers

like everything in his PC is customized. from the computer case, the motherboard, graphics card, everything. he has so much fun building them to the point where he has like 5 fully built computers off somewhere in his house because he didn't know what to do with them. to ichiban, they're like adult legos, but if legos costed even more money

if you wanted him to build you one, he totally would. probably wouldn't even charge you because he loves building them and customizing them for you (and because he's probably loaded from being a popular streamer and whatnot). ichiban would be absolutely elated if you wanted to build a PC with you if you offered. he loves doing things with you

cole

clingy clingy man touchy touchy man

this might be a little controversial but i don't think that he would like kill anybody. injure somebody? most definitely probably. (i'm probably in the minority here but i'll die on this hill)

BUT he’s very very possessive of you. does not like it when other boys pay attention to you. he wants to be the only one to see the crinkle in your eyes when you smile, or the way the sunlight hits your eyes when you’re reading in the afternoon, or see how ethereal you are when you sleep on the couch in the evening with a movie on that highlights your face just right

has articles of your clothing. has stolen a used shirt from your house just so he can use it as a pillowcase and snuggle with it at night

he will show up at your place whenever he has free time. after work, before work, he will sleepover at your place quite frequently too if you let him. your landlord is convinced that he’s your boyfriend with how frequently he comes over

loves doing mundane chores with you. washing dishes, putting away laundry, going grocery shopping, you name it and if he can help you he will. it feels like you two are a real married couple. soulmates. it squeezes his heart just right when people see you two getting ingredients for dinner and mistake you for a couple

if you have work functions where you need to bring a plus one you better call him first, he would pounce at the opportunity to be yours, even if it’s just for one evening

he’s very good with his words. he’s so cold to others but with you he’s so sweet. he can just tell if something is off with you. he somehow just knows if you had a bad day. he’ll be there with take out, movies, whatever you need (red flag honestly, but i like wearing rose colored glasses)

if you let him embrace you pre relationship, now he expects some sugar anytime he sees you. a hug when he first sees you, a hug for when you have to leave, a hug when he “accidentally” runs into you in public, etc.

cashew

he’s inexperienced, but he’s a quick learner. you’re probably his first relationship and he would never tell you, but he’s insecure about it

loves reading to you. it’s just so intimate with the two of you pressed together under the sheets. he gets butterflies just thinking about it

tell him you love his voice. that you like hearing him. he is a little aware that some people think his voice is hot but coming from you? he’ll hold it to heart. maybe he should consider recording for audiobooks

makes a reading list for you, out of love of course. he asks you what genres you like, book length, etc. even if you don’t read, should you ever ask for his recommendations he will be ready for you

go to the library with him and read pls. it doesn’t have to be date just go with him. he goes by himself all the time please go with him. you don’t even have to read books with words you can pull up the graphic novels he won’t mind promise

i imagine cashew fucks so hard with dates where it’s just the two of you (like a picnic or a walk in the park) he has so many ideas because of all the romance books he reads, but he’s scared he’s gonna botch the execution of it

treat him nicely please, again you’re his first serious relationship so don’t break his heart too bad

#milk.txt #blush blush x reader #blushblush #blush blush game #sad panda studios

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seaouidbabyx · 2 months ago

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1000 BLUNTS. || Dealer!MATT STURNIOLO X F!READER.

Hey, ya'll, I am so sorry for being so inactive. I really couldn't help it. I've moved jobs, started training, and things. I start my work day at 7:30 and end at 5 PM, and by the time I get home, I am just exhausted, lol. I decided to write something with Matt, including $B. This also might be based on a dream I had about Scrim, LOL.

PAIRING: Dealer!SlightlyOlder!Matt Sturniolo x F!Stoner!Reader

WARNINGS: Drug Use (obviously, it's only weed though. Nothing too serious, if this is not for you, scroll away!) Unprotected sex. (don't do this guys), fingering, oral sex, high sex, dirty talk, degrading and praise kinks, one use of (Y/N). Appearance of Chris as a lil brother in this lol.

SUMMARY: In which reader and dealer! Matt finds comfort within each other. There is just something about weed, soft moments and sex that could pair anyone together, but not as perfectly as these two.

NOTES: I KNOW IT'S LONG, I CAN'T HELP IT LOL. Guys, as a fellow stoner, this is like my dream LMAO. This is rated 18+ so if you are below that, scroll away! This is not meant for you. This is purely fictional, and something I fantasize about, if you like it, or want more of it, please leave some love down below! This did take a long time to write, and it is long so bare with me if there are any mistakes, but there is nothing better than soft love with Matt.

My heart was pounding like it always was when I'm here, I was waiting outside of the shitty apartment on the 3rd floor of an even shittier building. I could hear the sound of the trains running on the tracks behind the building, the sand grains falling from the walls with a hiss and the hooters of cars trying to follow through with traffic on the highway nearby. I looked at my car parked in the fairly empty parking lot below, next to a black SUV. The black car looked so nice and new, and severely out of place. I shifted the weight of my tote bag on my shoulder as it was now becoming uncomfortable. Knowing I was probably going to be staying the night, I brought some necessities from home. This apartment might be shitty, but the person inside definitely wasn't.

My hand raises to knock on the dark green door, the golden number 3 that had rusted screws almost mocking me and reminding me of where I was and what I am doing. Usually, I call Matt to meet at my house or a park closer to my house so I can get some weed, and maybe a few pre-rolls as well. However, I had gotten into a huge fight with my mother, and when I had looked in my pink mini satchel to see if I could just smoke away my problem, there was nothing but an empty fabric bag looking back at me. I decided it would be better for me to just take a drive, I did not want to be in that house.

Ive been to Matt's apartment many times before, we had chilled after he offered to take me with him on some of his runs. It had built a relationship between us, yet we were not together. Just closer than platonic friends if that makes sense.

"Listen, Kid, you don't tell anyone about this 'right?" He said, putting a blunt between his lips and lighting it with my bedazzled pink lighter. We had sat on his balcony outside, the sun was just settling beyond the horizon. We sat next to each other on two chairs outside, my bare legs were across his jean-clad ones. "What, the fact that you took me on some runs, or that you are using my pink sparkly lighter?" I teased, taking the joint from his fingers and putting it between my lips. I looked over at Matt, his tattoo-covered arm and hands were resting on my leg as he was fiddling with the pink object. He winked at me, blowing out the smoke and sitting in silence, settling more into his chair as his hands started rubbing small circles, one on my thigh and one on my calf.

Before I could reminisce on further memories, the door was opened partly as the chain lock was holding shut, showing his gorgeous face adorned with a suspicious look and a toothbrush hanging from his mouth. It then quickly changed to a look of surprise. "Ma!" He quickly shouted, closing the door, unlocking the chain and opening the door fully. It revealed Matt standing there with black loose jeans, white sneakers, a white tee and freshly washed hair. He opened up his arms, letting me into the apartment with a smile.

I smiled at him, "Sorry for dropping in like this, I didn't want to be at that house." I said, walking down the passage and down into the living room. I heard him spit the excess toothpaste into the kitchen sink, before coming to join me. I stood awkwardly, looking around the living room. Not much has changed since I was last here, the two chairs are still outside. There are bags of weed sitting on his coffee table, along with other white substances, as well as dollar bills. They sat amongst cherry rizzla and my pink lighter that was placed neatly to the side.

"No need to explain (Y/N), you know you are always welcome here." He spoke, coming to stand next to me before moving to sit and stretch himself across his black couch. He placed his foot on the edge of the coffee table, picking up a pre-rolled blunt before lighting it with my pink lighter and tapping the space next to him. I placed my bag on the floor, sliding off my sandals before moving to sit next to Matt. His eyes followed my actions. Until I was sitting right next to him, his thigh touching mine as I tucked my feet under me. He passed me the joint before leaning forward and shuffling between the different strains before turning to look at me over his shoulder. "Alright, what d'ya want kid?" His blue eyes never left mine, sending shivers down my spine. My face had begun to flush, embarrassingly so.

"Will you let me pay for it this time?" I said, reaching for my tote bag on the floor, but he grabbed my wrist before I could even touch the fabric straps. He has now turned to face me, "You know I am not gonna let you pay for anything kid, I mean I smoke this shit too." He let go of my wrist and moved back to the table, avoiding eye contact as he picked up a bag with a purple-ish bundle of weed inside. "Matt!" I whined, rolling my eyes before moving closer to see what he was doing, placing my head on my chin on his shoulder as I peered over him to look at the table in front of us. He shook the bag back and forth, before moving some into a smaller bag, along with the pink rolling papers. He opened my tote bag, placing the weed and the paper in. He looked up and winked at me once again, a smirk on his face.

He then put the blunt we were smoking earlier back into his mouth, leaning back and relaxing against the back of the couch. I grabbed the pink lighter from his hand before he could bring it up and light it. He looked at me curiously, watching my every move again. I leaned closer to him, almost as if I were to straddle him, but I kept to my respectful side and placed my hand around the joint, lighting it for him. He breathed in, inhaling the smoke and I watched as his blue eyes grew heavier. I took the joint from his lips and placed it in between mine, inhaling the potent herb. I looked down at him, a small smile slash smirk on my face as I took in his appearance.

As I released the smoke from my lungs, he grabbed my left thigh and pulled me over his lap. My white dress had bunched up around my hips, my bare thighs now almost fully on display next to his jean-clad ones. My face flushed embarrassingly so, but it really shouldn't as this happened more often than one would think. He placed his hands on my thighs, looking up at me with a smile. I could feel his warm hands and cold rings against my ever-heating skin. "Where were you going before I got here?" I asked, holding the blunt between my two fingers, my left hand resting on his shoulder. He kept his eyes on mine, his hands rubbing soothingly up and down my thighs, the tips of his fingers going under the hem of my dress. "Nowhere now." He mumbled, lifting his chin as if he was asking for another pull.

I placed the joint between his lips once again, rolling my eyes. "Don't lie to me Sturniolo," I playfully teased, moving my hands to rest on his chest. He took the joint out from his mouth, his eyes now becoming a reddish tint. They probably looked similar to mine. "I am not going to lie, I was going to do a few runs and then make my way over to you Princess." He moved his free hand to caress my cheek, making me blush tenfold. I leaned into his touch, these moments were my favourite. The soft, intimate ones. "I'm sorry, you can still go on your runs. If you want me to, I can go back home." I said, feeling a bit insecure about stopping him from making money and doing his runs.

I looked down at my lap but was quickly forced to look back at the blue eyes I had fallen in love with as his fingers held the point of my chin up to meet his gaze. "You know I'd never do that kid, I want you. I want you to stay here." I smiled softly, matching his soft look. "I could kiss you, you're way too sweet to me Matty," I said, playing with the ends of his curls behind his neck where my hands rested. The sun had now settled, and the only sort of light was the moon that had begun to rise as well as the street lights from outside.

I leaned forward, placing my lips just barely above his and loving the way his hands had moved from my thighs to my hips. "I want to stay here," I whispered. He looked up at my eyes once again before fluttering them closed and whispering back, "Please." He then placed his lips on mine, and it was like all the electricity had decided to run through my veins. I opened my mouth to let his curious tongue in, but before we could go any further, there was a huge pounding on the door.

I jumped out of my skin, pulling away from Matt like I had just been burned. His expression had turned to one of concern as he looked toward his front door. The lights still weren't on yet, so I looked at him with worry. "Come with me," He whispered, taking my hand and leading me to his bedroom. I could finally see the train tracks that I heard earlier from his bedroom window, the soft street lights were illuminating his room. He sat me down on the bed before we heard the pounding on the door again.

My heart was beating out of my chest, I gripped Matt's hand before he could move. "Who is that?" I whispered. He placed his hands on both of my cheeks and kissed me softly. He kissed me as if to say don't worry, everything will be okay. "Just stay here for me, please." He said as his lips brushed against my forehead. He then turned to leave, closing the door behind him. I felt my anxiety was at an all-time high, I brought my hands up to my face, they were shaking. The weed was bringing out the paranoia. I almost wanted to laugh.

I sat on his bed and tried my best to listen through the door. I could hear Matt's voice as he greeted the person at the door. Another voice could be heard, a deeper voice than his but similar. They continued to conversate, but by the sounds of the tone of the muffled voices, it was still quite tense. This information did nothing to calm my heart down.

"What the hell Chris! Where have you been? Why are you here?" I heard Matt's voice begin to rise, along with my fear. Chris, Chris... Why does that name sound so familiar to me? The other voice, or now Chris had responded. "C'mon man, I'm your brother. Can't you just spot me this one time?" This muffled voice came closer to the door, and my heart started beating faster. He also blatantly ignored Matt's question about where he had been. "What? No Chris, you owe me for the last 3 times I've spotted you and that doesn't answer my question!" Matt argued, their voices coming closer to the door. I could hear the little nervousness in Matt's voice as he approached the door. I watched as the doorknob twisted, opening the door and revealing the two boys. I almost wanted to laugh at the sight.

My eyes had locked on blue eyes, similar to Matt's but they didn't have enough depth as he did. Although he did look identical to Matt, I did not know he had a twin. Chris smirked, looking between Matt and me. I smiled nervously, looking at his devilish grin and then looking at Matt who smiled softly at me but turned his annoyed glare back to his brother. "Well well well, is this why you weren't answering my calls earlier?" Chris spoke, coming closer to me with a domineering smile. He put his hand out for me to shake, and although my anxiety had calmed down significantly, I was still hesitant to shake his hand.

I glanced at Matt, who had his gaze trained on our hands as I shook Chris's. I blushed furiously, looking up at the brothers. "Well, what's your name, Angel?" Chris asked, pulling my hand to his face and placing a kiss on my knuckles. I looked away, mumbling my name to him. He retreated to the door frame where Matt had stood, standing silently, the intense energy was radiating, and as much as I should be scared of him, I couldn't help but stare at his serious demeanour and clench my thighs together just a little bit. Chris had strolled through the house, taking a smaller bag of weed and bid his brother goodbye. I could hear them arguing as they made their way back to the front door.

I stood in the doorway of Matt's bedroom (more like leaning on it), watching him come in. He closed the door in a huff, making his way back to where I was standing. I watched him walk closer to me until he was directly in front of me. He looked down at me, his serious demeanour just a little bit softer as he finally looked me in the eyes. "I don't like it when people interrupt us." He sighed, placing his hand on my hip as my head leaned against the doorframe. After all that seriousness, that is what he had to say. I let out a laugh, placing a hand on his cheek and reaching up to kiss his jaw. "You know, for a dealer, you really can be such a big baby," I said, pulling away. "Just for you Princess," He softly smiled, placing a hand over mine and pulling me in the direction of the balcony.

When we walked past the coffee table, he snatched a new pre-roll as well as my pink lighter. I had grabbed a blanket off his couch as I knew the outside temperature would be cooler than usual, especially since it was a bit later into the evening. Matt had sat down on one of the large chairs on the small balcony, placing his things on the small rusty metal table between the chairs.

I made a move to walk past him and toward the open chair, before I felt his ring-clad fingers find my waist and pull me into his lap. I let out a squeak, looking at him with wild open eyes. "You could've just asked!" I said, hitting his chest and scolding him. He rolled his eyes, moving my body as if I weighed nothing to face sideways, my legs were mainly across his lap as my face hid in the crook of his neck. "Takes too long." His hands found comfort on my hip, the other one reaching for the pre-roll. We decided to smoke the new joint, equally blowing puffs into the cold air around us. I threw the blanket over both of our legs. The sun had now long set behind the horizon, but the multiple-coloured lights of the city below were enough to give us some sight. It created an atmospheric experience, adding to the tempo of our conversations. It felt natural to talk to him like we had a similar mind.

"You know, I think it's funny that you have a twin brother," I said, smiling up at him. He did that upside-down smile of his, "We're triplets, my other brother is currently in Boston visiting my parents." He spoke, I could hear the vibration of his voice in his chest. I smiled at the comforting feeling. The weed had gotten to me, "Do you like having siblings?" I asked softly, continuing the conversation. "I love them more than anything in the world," He said, placing a kiss on my temple. His hands were rubbing soothing circles onto my legs and waist once again. I smiled at the answer, but. Before I could ask another question, he answered again. "Well, maybe not anything." He gave my thigh a cheeky squeeze, but my heart soared. I moved to sit up and look up at him, seriously taking in his words.

I smiled, knowing that this was his way of telling me things. The little movements, the loving moments. I leaned down once again and pressed my lips against his once again, however this time it was more intense. The grip on my waist had tightened, pulling me closer to him as we melted into one another. I placed my tongue on his lips, and we opened it up to a deeper kiss. His hand had moved down to grab my ass once again, this time with a rough squeeze. I gasped, letting out a little moan at the feeling of his hands on my body.

I pulled away, slightly breathless and red in the face. He smirked down at me one more time, his brown curls flopping with him. I could feel him growing hard under my thigh, increasing my blush. He had placed his hand in between my thighs, dangerously high to where I needed him the most. I breathed in, a spark of confidence creeping up my spine. It must be the weed, but before I could chicken out, I placed my hand over his that was on my thigh and moved it a little closer under my dress's hem.

Matt's breath hitched in his throat, the sound causing me to look up at him with innocent eyes. His own blue eyes were hooded, looking at me with an almost desperate look. "Are you insinuating something, Princess?" He asked, moving his hand even higher, his fingers brushing the fabric of my pink panties. I squeezed my thighs just a little bit, a whine almost escaping me. The words that came out of his mouth were so hypocritical since he was looking at me like a lost puppy. I nodded innocently, my gaze looking at his hands under the blanket. He nodded against my face as he placed a kiss on my cheek, then my jaw and then my neck. Of course, I was red in the face, moving my hips slowly, trying to get any form of friction from his fingers, but not wanting to show how needy I was for him.

This movement caused him to smirk, he continued to tease me by moving his fingers gently across my fabric-covered heat, however, my arousal was making a wet patch. I blushed, covering my face with my hands. "Hey, none of that shit. Let me see how good I make you feel." He rasped against my ear. He removed his hand from under my dress, moving me so I straddled his lap once again. I rolled my eyes at his behaviour, which caused him to slap my ass. It wasn't a hard spank, but enough to leave a sting. He raised his eyebrows, with a "try me now" look before he placed his hands under my thighs and ass and stood up from the chair.

I let out a yelp as he stood, scrambling to hold onto his neck for support. "Matthew!" I shouted, letting out a laughter after. He gave me a goofy smile, one that had devious intentions behind it as he carried me inside. We stumbled a bit over my sandals before he carried me down the small apartment and the hallway into his bedroom. He had nudged the door open with his foot, before placing me on the bed. I bounced on the mattress, but Matt was quick to crowd over me, leaving me no choice but to move my weight onto my elbows. My breathing was now fast, feeling the shift of his dominating presence above me. His red, low and hooded eyes. My god, this man was going to be the death of me.

He placed his hands almost under my arms, leaning closer to me, while placing a knee between my legs. He moved to grab my jaw, pulling my face in for a hot, searing kiss. I instantly moved to kiss him back with vigour, moving my hand to run through the curls at the nape of his neck. He kissed me with force, leading us back until my back reached the mattress, and he had moved fully above me. I moved my legs, opening them up so he could slot right between them, and thank the stars I did. He let out a groan as his hips came into contact with my pink panties. The harsh jean fabric was rough but felt oh so good against my core.

He pulled away from the kiss, moving down from my lips to my jaw and neck. I let out breathy whines and moans and I whispered his name. Once his name left my lips, he looked up at me with lust-filled eyes. He sat back on his haunches, sliding his hands up the side of my thighs and under my dress's hem, before continuing to slide it up my body until it was up and over my head. My heart raced to reveal my breasts to the cold air around us, not having a bra on made my nipples harden. His gaze zeroed in on my tits before he let out a breath. "God, you are just so perfect, my pretty, pretty girl." I felt my cheeks flush, but before I even had time to respond, he placed his mouth over my right nipple, causing me to grip the sheets underneath me and let out a moan. The weed, him, it all made everything feel a little fuzzy and way more sensitive.

He continued kissing my tits, alternating from the left and right, making sure that they were equally attended to with bites, kisses and dark purple marks. My hips started moving against his, not being able to help the pleasure that was running through me. He moved his hips against mine, making me cry out his name. My fingers found his curls once again, almost pushing him away. Instead of moving away, he went lower and kissed my naval. He began running his tongue against the waistband of my panties, almost making me drool at the sight. His big blue eyes then looked up at me, slightly red as he moved my panties to the side. "This too much for you baby?" He teased, but not thinking straight, I shook my head 'no' regardless.

He smirked once again, before leaning down and placing his tongue flat against my slit. I moaned lowly, closing my eyes and rolling my head back as my fingers that remained in his hair pulled slightly. He continued licking long stripes up until he reached my clit, stimulating it with his lips and tongue. My hips started to move again as the pleasure was running through my veins like electricity. He was quick to wrap his hands around my thighs to keep my hips stable against the bed with a warning look.

"Please, Matt," I whispered into the air around us, the only sound behind the spit and slurping from where his mouth met my core. He came up, kissing me with remnants of me on his lips. "Let me take my time with you pretty, don't be needy." He teased, running his nose on the side of my jaw before placing a kiss right underneath my ear. I shivered, letting my hands roam on his skin, my nails running against his shoulders before reaching up to brush through his skin. I looked at him with big innocent eyes, and he maintained eye contact with me while he kissed down my chest and down between my legs once again. I let out a breathy moan as I watched him.

The feeling he was giving me was indescribable. Him, his tongue, the way his fingers gripped into the flesh of my thigh, the weed making everything so much fuzzier. It wasn't long before I felt his tongue back on my clit, followed by two fingers probing my entrance. I let out a gasp as he slipped his fingers in, and the pace he started had become relentless. I was a moaning mess, "Matt! B-baby please!" I whined, holding onto his wrist. He moaned, causing the vibrations to go straight through me. It had me seeing stars. I felt my stomach coil, and he started pumping at another angle, causing that coil to snap.

"C-Cummin-!" I babbled, looking down at him again, before closing my eyes and letting my orgasm wash over me. "Such a good fucking girl, arencha?" He spoke, kissing up my thighs. My chest was heaving with shallow breaths, and before I knew it, I heard the unbuckling of his jeans. He grabbed my thighs once again and pulled me down the edge of the bed. I let out a yelp, looking at him with a small smile.

His eyes softened, leaning down to kiss me. It was soft, matching the soft touch of his hands rubbing soothing patterns on my hips. "You okay there princess?" He said, barely above a whisper. I smiled, placing a hand on his jaw, before lightly tapping it. "Shut up and fuck me like you mean it." This caused him to laugh, earning a giggle from me in return.

He pulled down his black Calvin Kleins, letting his cock spring free and slap against his stomach. I reached to touch it, but he grabbed my wrist before I could even think. "As much as I would love that pretty, I have been wanting this for a while. If you touch me, I just know that I will not handle anything else besides you." He spoke, his voice low and his eyes hooded. I let out a whine, nodding and lying back completely. He leaned over me, his arms on both sides of my waist, kissing me softly. I kissed him back with passion, causing the kiss to become messy. I watched him lean back again, pumping himself a few times before running his pink tip against my slick folds. "So fucking wet, all for me pretty?" I moaned at the contact, my shallow breathing picking up feeling him enter me.

We both let out a breath as he sheathed himself into me, a low moan rumbling from his chest. He looked up at me, this time with a completely different look in his eyes. He kissed me softly on the shoulder, moving up to my neck. "Tell me when to move," He mumbled into my flesh, touching my body tenderly. Not being able to think straight, I nodded against him, placing kisses on the side of his face, his hair. I felt his lips curl into a smile, before I felt his hips move back. I moaned at the feeling, almost at a loss before he drove back in. I moaned, clawing at his back. He came up once more and placed one of my legs on his shoulder, holding the plush of my thigh as his pace had started to increase.

His cock filled me to the brim, feeling it turn from a slight uncomfortable pressure into pure pleasure. My moans, his moans, our shallow breaths had started to grow louder and louder. "C'mon baby, tell me how good it feels." He grumbled, his lips kissing the edge of the calf on his shoulder, while his other hand gripped and splayed across my hip. I let out a whimper, gripping the sheets below me. Biting my bottom lip, I felt my tits bounce with his pace increase as he was getting impatient with my lack of answer. "I-It," I conjured, letting out a breathy moan once again as he started hitting the perfect spot. "So, so good!" I shouted, putting a hand over my mouth to muffle it.

Matthew noticed, grabbing that hand and moving it above my head, holding it in place as he continued to fuck me silly. The hand that was on my hip, moved up my body and started rolling my pebbled nipple between his fingers. I squeezed my thighs together, feeling that familiar feeling licking up my spine. "Give it to me, Matty. Need to feel you cum in me," I moaned against his neck. He let out a rumble from his chest, kissing me, leaning into a bite on my neck. He rutted his hips into me at an incredible pace, and before I knew it, he was kissing me hotly. Teeth, tongue, moans as his hips snapped into me. I felt the coil snap, a second orgasm coming over me. This caused him to let out a loud moan, his hips were slower but harder and soon there were white ropes of him filling me up.

His panted, leaning back onto his haunches. The soft smile returned, and he pushed the hair that was sticking to my sweaty forehead away from my face. "There's my girl, let me get you cleaned up." He kissed my gently, pulling out with a hiss and walking over to the bathroom. I smiled, watching his naked butt with a giggle. "Nice ass!" I chirped, causing him to laugh. He returned with a wet rag and a glass of water and placed it on the bed side table. He moved to leave the room once again, but I grabbed his hand, turning him around to face me.

"Lay with me?" I spoke, almost whispered while pulling back the covers. Matt leaned down, kissing my forehead before crawling under the covers and lying on his back, opening his arm for me to lie on his chest.

A/N: WOW guys, this took me forever and im still not even happy w it but I'm trying to get back into writing. Tell me what you think!

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