#Save Greendale Committee

[defectivegembrain]

Community seasons 5 and 6 but Professor Garrity is in the Save Greendale Committee instead of Hickey. And he thinks Kickpuncher is a masterpiece.

[ask-frankie-dart]

The save greendale committee took my phone while i went to talk to the Dean and now I have 27 pictures of all of them in my camera roll because they thought it would be funny.

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

masterlist of episodes featuring prof duncan? I only JUST made the connection that he's played by john oliver

fantastic idea anon. I’m honestly surprised I haven't made this list yet as I am an avid duncan enjoyer lmfao and yes john oliver is great. so I’ll make the list right now. here we go:

the feat. professor duncan episode masterlist

1x01: pilot

he is the reason jeff chose to enroll at greendale

he has multiple interactions with jeff throughout the episode

1x04: social psychology

annie, troy, and abed participate in his psychological experiment in which he proves the existence of "the duncan principle"

1x05: advanced criminal law

duncan, dean pelton, and chang create "greendale court" in order to put britta's alleged academic dishonesty on trial

1x25: pascal's triangle revisited

first shown doing a therapy session with britta

constantly fighting with chang, escalating into chang punching him at the end

does his iconic rap after he gets drunk at the transfer dance

2x03: the psychology of letting go

takes over as the anthropology professor despite knowing nothing about the subject

uses the restraining order he got against chang to torment him

has a few conversations with jeff about the inevitability of death

is civil with chang by the end of the episode

2x05: messianic myths and ancient peoples

exclusively shown "teaching" the anthropology 101 class

2x11: abed's uncontrollable christmas

leads abed's "therapy" session but is generally unhelpful

2x12: asian population studies

again, just shown "teaching" anthropology 101

2x15: early 21st century romanticism

watches the liverpool vs. manchester united football game with jeff at jeff's apartment

has conversations with jeff about friendship and greendale etc.

2x21: paradigms of human memory

appears very briefly in a flashback to the events of "abed's uncontrollable christmas"

2x22: applied anthropology and culinary arts

is shown again at the head of the anthropology class, this time "administering their final" (getting drunk) but disappears very quickly as soon as the dean walks in

5x03: basic intergluteal numismatics

"helps" with the psychological aspect of the ass crack bandit investigation

(you might notice he is not in seasons 3 or 4. irl it's because he got too busy with his other projects, but in the show his character explains that he was "taking care of his sick mother")

5x05: geothermal escapism

shown briefly playing the floor is lava game, but loses very quickly after jeff knocks over the chair that he was going to jump on while chasing britta

5x06: analysis of cork-based networking

shown as a member of the save greendale committee

helps jeff, shirley, and chang choose a theme and decorate for the dance (bear down for midterms)

5x07: bondage and beta male sexuality

asks jeff to help him scheme a way into getting a date with britta, which ends up backfiring

ends up hanging out a lot with jeff. this episode re-establishes that the two of them have known each other longer than any of the other characters

5x11: g.i. jeff

appears briefly only in jeff's animated dream, as "xim xam"

(so, I guess it's not technically duncan, but it's jeff's g.i. joe dream version of duncan, so I’m counting it)

5x12: basic story

appears again as a member of the save greendale committee

5x13: basic sandwich

tries to help the save greendale committee uncover the hidden computer school but gets electrocuted lmfao

alright yep. that should be all. I personally went through the credits of every single episode to double check everything because I do not trust the lists that are already online tbh. full of discrepancies smh. also, yeah, he is indeed not in seasons 3, 4, or 6. anyway! hope this is helpful. duncan is hilarious and every single line that comes out of his mouth is comedy gold. bye

[stephaniejuhnay]

I'm watching some season 5 featurettes and got a chance to see some of the to-do items on the Save Greendale Committee board a lot closer. Here are the ones I could catch. I really wish they would've made it into the show somehow. Season 5 should've had a full 22!

Check to see if all insulation is actually cotton candy

De-badger the baseball diamond

Divest from Sudan

Remove slugs from toilet

Bleach Garrett's locker

Trim hedge maze (*Dean Pelton voice* we have a HEDGE maze?!)

Find out what is killing the birds

Find out where that tapping noise is coming from

Remove racist stained glass

Remove teeth marks from library tables

Make water clear again

Restart modem

Shake crumbs from computer lab keyboards

Fill pit (parks & rec crossover?!?!?)

Quell racial unrest

Break the sorcerers curse

Remove racist weather vane

Fish change out of sidewalk grates

Doublecheck employee credentials

Control the brushfire on intramural field

Remove mercury from classroom walls

Collect "still good" paper towels from cafeteria trash bins

Remove bones from football field

Correct spelling of "Library" on library

Change parking lot speed limit from 65 to 15

Look into coyote problem

Remove ban on Native American enrollment

Give foundation a quick look-see

Move manure pile to side of school

Remove snapping turtle's nest from pool

Post "no intercourse" signs in library

Ask saxophone player to stop

Confiscate sweatshirts with unfortunate misspellings

Run electricity to the medical building

What a damn show.

[vampire-abed-truther]

Worst Three Community Episodes (IMO)

@sappynonsense here's my thoughts!

3. Economics of Marine Biology

Summary: The Dean, Annie, and Jeff do everything they can to bring in a super rich student, while Troy and Shirley take a physical education education course.

The whole episode is difficult to watch as they hurt each other in name of getting a rich student to join, as well as ruining the campus that surrounds them, instead of hurting each other out of their own flaws and learning and growing. All they really learn is to not try to appeal to rich students by ruining what makes them greendale. 

Jeff was sent to distract Pierce, and their bonding session is the B plot, however it’s lackluster and was done better before. The B plot is the classic sitcom trope of ‘I’m only hanging out with this character I hate in order to get them to comply, but I find I’m actually enjoying myself and now I feel bad’ moment. However since they’re just trying to get pierce out of the way of the rich student, there’s no worthwhile reason that jeff has to hang out with him, as opposed to season 1 where they were working on an assignment for spanish class. He has no reason to need to put any effort into it. The fact that they keep hurting each other to appeal to this rich guy makes all the episodes jokes hurt, instead of make you laugh, let alone how insufferable the rich guy is, just honestly making it a really hard watch.

The only good thing is Troy and Shirley’s C plot with the physical education education. But because it’s a C plot there’s less put into it, making it feel like, at best, a B or C plot, and shouldn’t be the funniest or most entertaining plot in the episode. Because it is a C plot, yet it far surpasses it’s B and A plots.

2. Intro to Recycled Cinema

Summary: The Save Greendale committee makes a movie with Abed’s unfinished footage from a previous project, which features the now famous Benjamin Chang.

The jokes are the same every five minutes. Like a recurring unfunny joke about Chris Pratt and his muscles/attractiveness. I get it!!! Chris Pratt has muscles!!! For a show based around comedy, this episode is beyond lazy. 

The framing device is awkward and hard to work with. The characters don’t want to be there, making the movie, and have no real motivation for saying or doing anything they’re saying or doing, because ultimately all they’re doing is filming a crap movie to make money. 

Jeff gets suddenly upset about his death scene being cut from the movie, when previously he didn’t care about the movie at all. This wasn’t hinted at or developed upon at all. It felt like a lazy way to throw emotional nuance at an emotionally stunted episode. 

This episode features season 6 Britta. I just don’t like season 6 Britta she’s the worst form of Britta. The writers slowly whittling her down from this very grounded character to an absolute buffoon is so disheartening. I honestly like season 2 Britta the most, when she’s comfortable enough with the group to be silly too, but not stupid. 

Honestly, I think this episode is the ultimate lazy writing episode because you expect so much more from Community.

1. Advanced Introduction to Finality

Summary: Jeff is about to graduate, but is afraid of that change. So he imagines that it’s interrupted by the most evil version of the study group members from The Darkest Timeline.

The motives of the Darkest Timeline study group are unclear, as they both seem to want to steal Jeff’s life and make him evil too. This seems like a pretty big oversight, and if you try and hit me with that "it's all a dream!" bullshit to make it make sense, it's a show first and foremost before it's a dream. Community is a show, this is the show, it's always been a show.

They put paintball into the episode, which is a classic reference to season 1 and season 2’s paintball episodes. I think this is a desperate attempt to try to insert something popular to make up for the lack of conviction in the writing. I take a lot of issue with this because we already established in season 3 that paintball was "forced" now. It works in season 6 as a grand finale comeback, but not in the direct next season after declaring it forced and overdone.

With the paintball being shoved in, with almost no blocking, so the fights aren’t exciting like they are in every other paintball episode, but they're clunky and just really bad to watch.

The actual graduation is sidelined for the darkest timeline stuff, which turns out to all be a figment of Jeff’s imagination anyway. I don't like the "it was all a dream" trope unless it has some sort of deeper thematic purpose or message, like in Ouran Highschool Host Club. They use Haruhi's dream about Wonderland to explore deeper themes they're struggling with and really portray the more symbolic abstract aspects of each character. Ultimately, this is the graduation episode. This is what the show has been building up too for the past four years, and they wasted it on pandering to an audience with paintball and darkest timeline stuff. Stuff Jeff doesn't even care about!!!!!!!

these are my thoughts feel free to share urs!!

[what-gs-watching]

"It said quarter to five, but it was quarter to ass…"

I’m sorry but it’s time for a quick appreciation post for Community’s season 5. I realize I shouldn’t be watching Community yet again since I was just into it like eight months ago and obviously wrote a love letter to it  but we’re here already so deal with it. 

This is an incredibly deep cut situation, but I don’t care. Season 5 has some of my all-time favorite episodes, even if it’s likely a lot of people gave up on the show before it ever came out because Dan Harmon had left for season 4 and there was always so much upheaval around it even being renewed and blah blah AND Donald Glover left that season.

Which, I admit, was devastating. But even so, there are a bunch of gems in the 13-episode run. 

Starting with "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics", wherein the study group tries to FINALLY solve the case of the Asscrack Bandit, a shadowy figure who’s running around campus dropping quarters down unsuspecting asscracks. Literally, that’s the entire premise. The episode is based on movies like Zodiac, it’s dark and brooding and it’s fucking hilarious because everyone takes it so seriously and it’s a perfect Community homage. They had BEN FOLDS do two different songs to include in it and they’re catchy as hell, honestly they fucking slap, and I’m still not sure who I think is the asscrack bandit, and I hope to never find out. 

Another pure favorite is “Geothermal Escapism”, which is Donald Glover’s final episode, and a perfect way to send him off. Abed declares a school-wide game of “the floor is lava” and it’s such a good replacement for the paintball game episodes. As usual, everyone in the school is completely committed to the bit except for Britta for once, who’s trying to force the group to properly deal with Troy leaving, she’s the surprising voice of reason throughout and the loophole they come up with to help Abed deal with losing his best friend is so Community. I cry everytime I watch this one - literally, their relationship is so pure and beautiful and sweet and the episode is simultaneously fun and bittersweet. 

Also, we can’t forget about "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking". The only reason I love this episode is like, a fairly small part of the entire story, but it makes me hysterically laugh every time. The group has formed a ‘Save Greendale’ committee and Annie is off navigating the labyrinth of bureaucracy which leaves Jeff, Shirley, Chang and Duncan to pick a theme for the midterm dance. After Chang has a meltdown, they agree to his pitch of “Bear down for midterms” which no one understands, but they commit to it. Eventually, they find out why Chang was so insistent on the theme, and it’s not great. I honest to god still yell “BEAR DOWN FOR MIDTERMS” when I’m dealing with something I don’t want to do. Like right now, with the case study I’m doing for an interview process. My husband always knows what I mean, and I love it.

Finally gang, "App Development and Condiments". Fucking Meowmeowbeanz. This is the episode where the entire school gets caught up in a social media app that lets them rate each other, and the entire social ecosystem falls apart. The important part here is that this episode was made BEFORE that Black Mirror episode you’re thinking about. Community is streets ahead, and always has been. The commentary is scathing, and fucking hilarious. 

I have no real point to any of this, I’ve just been thinking about it for the past two days and I had to get it out. I can never sing enough praises for Community. I’ve decided on this (10th? 15th? who knows) rewatch that it is literally my favorite show in the world. Like, it’s my desert island show and my comfort show and my comedy show and my sad show. It’s my every show.

Community, oh how I love you.

[maybe-i-will-fandom]

Anyone got any essays on 6x4 Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing?

Abed wanting to let the birds stay so they won't scare away the mom. Talking about his mom taking his half brother to AZ, leaving Abed behind. His speech to Elroy. Elroy relenting.

Dean having a queer issue and immediately calling Jeff and Frankie. Jeff. And. Frankie. Alone. Separate from the rest of the Save Greendale Committee. Gaydar?

Frankie practically coming out. Jeff and Craig's little pantomime about that.

Jeff's "unfortunately" about how anything that isn't straight is perceived as gay. His "we're afraid deep down that all of us are a little political"

The message against Imperialism and America's Japanese Internment somehow buried in what seemed initially like just a pile of racism.

Elroy and Abed raising the birds together. Burying them together.

All the gay students that came up to the Dean to thank him and tell him how much his visibility meant to them.

Them all crying at Chang's performance. The Dean apologizing to Abed from it 😂. The unarmed black man vs the unarmed gay dean speech. The Dolly Parton parody

The cat mask ceremony Abed planned and everyone went along with 😭

[abbatoirablaze]

Down The Rabbit Hole, Chapter 18

Word Count:  1.2k

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of beating someone up, manipulation, smut, unprotected sex.

“Hey…I’m going to catch a ride into Greendale with you today…”

“Need to put a foot on the campus to feel a little bit better?” you asked softly as you looked at the man you loved.  He gave you a sad smile and you turned the coffee maker on before going over to him and wrapping your arms around him, “it’ll be okay, babe.  You just need to take some time to figure out your next steps.”

“Yeah…”

“And hey, maybe seeing the group will make you feel a bit better.  You could call them up and go out for lunch,” you offered as you wrapped your arms around his neck.  He gave you a small smile before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips, “the campus has been a little weird since that bridge collapse upstate, but I’m sure everyone will appreciate seeing you.”

“Seems like everyone who went to Greendale is having some sort of collapse in their life.”

“Hey…”

“Tawney, I’m broke, now jobless, and you’re the only one paying any bills.  The only thing left to happen is for you to leave me and toss me out onto the streets, making me homeless!”

“Hey…stop that,” you sighed.  You unwrapped your arms from around his neck and cupped his face in your hands, “I’m not going to leave you because you’re going through a rough patch with your career.  It happens sometimes.  But I love you, and we’ll figure it out, alright?”

He gave you another sad smile as he nodded.  Leaning in, he pressed a soft kiss to your lips, “you’re right.”

“I’m gonna leave for campus in fifteen.  Is that okay?”

He nodded once again, “can we make it twenty?  I want to shave and take a quick shower.”

“Better hurry your cute butt up then, Winger!”

He smiled and kissed you once more before heading towards the master to grab some clothes before hitting the shower.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

He nodded, swallowing down his anxiety, “Great.”

“Jeff…I know that face,” you frowned, “I remember that look.  That’s the same look that you had when we met.  When you were a  scumbag.”

“Tawney…I might have agreed to do something that I really regret.”

“Clearly,” you scoffed, looking around the empty cafeteria, “why are you waiting around here when it’s empty?  And why did you call me here?”

“Well look what the cat dragged in!”

You cringed, hearing the voice.  You remembered it all too well, “Alan.”

“Hey sweet cheeks,” he smirked, giving you a once over, “still look good, despite hitting the cut off age, “here’s everything you asked for, Tango.  Who are you flipping?”

Your eyes widened ever so slightly as they shot to Jeff, “Jeffrey!”

“My friends!” he said firmly, “who are now the Save Greendale Committee!  Which I created!”

“Oh, classic Winger!” he smirked.

“I forgot how good it felt being bad.”

“Are you seriously doing this?” you asked, looking between the two lawyers, “after everything Greendale has done for you?”

“Tawney…it’s not that simple”

“So just close the deal and bring it home to daddy, eh?”

“Oh, sorry Alan…change of daddies.” He said in a smooth tone, “I’ll take it from here!” 

While you wanted to be mad, or upset with him, there was something in the way that he said that, that had your mind racing.  Your body began to feel warm as you watched him, confidently arguing with Alan. 

Despite how mad you were, you wanted to jump his bones right then and there.

But Alan stood up, getting in between you and Jeff, “no, no, but it’s my case.”

“Humphries was your case!”

“Jeff…” he muttered, “you’re scaring me!”

“Good!” Jeff smirked, leaning in, “Guys like you should be scared.  You trust-funded, body-sprayed, Eli Roth DVD owner.  You’re an amateur monster, Alan.  And then you stomp in the grave of a real monster, who was willing to stay buried, because real monsters have shame.  Because they wish that…you’re not worth the monologue.  You know what.  Give me your tie.”

“What?”

“No monologue for you!” he growled, “GIVE me your tie!”

He was quick to unclip it and hand it over. 

You felt your thighs clench, seeing this side of the man that you loved.

“That’s for making me go to this school!” he spat, beating him down with the tie, “that’s for making the last four years happen, and now, I get to make them unhappen for me and the only people I care about.”

He dropped the tie in front of Alan who was whimpering and he stalked over to you.

“Right now,” you demanded softly, your own whimper of a different kind leaving the back of your throat, “right now in the next empty room we find.”

“Oh I plan on it!” he grinned confidently as he swiped his arm around your waist and led you to the first room that he could find.

“I’m so mad at you!”

“You can’t keep saying that,” he moaned as he pressed deep into your core.  His head fell forward against your own and his eyes fluttered shut, “oh god…Tawney…”

Your legs tightened around his hips, holding him inside of you as his hips faltered, “JEFF!”

“FUCK!”

“OH GOD!” He groaned, and you felt his warmth spilling into you.  Your heavy breathing was interrupted when his lips captured yours in a smooth kiss.  His hips rolled and you shuddered, your legs keeping him locked inside of you, “fuck.  Jeff.  Do-don’t do that…too, oh god.”

“Please still love me!”

“I’ll never stop loving you!” you promised, your hands reaching up so you were holding your lover’s face between them, “Jeff…I just-oh, god.  We shouldn’t be arguing while we’re having sex.”

“I don’t want you to leave me, Tawney.”

“I’m not going to leave you…I love you, Jeff…th-that doesn’t stop because you had a lapse of judgment.”

“I-I’m not suing the school,” he said breathlessly, “I-I stopped and talked to the dean…”

“Can we not talk about Craig while you’re inside of me?”

He chuckled and shook his head, “sorry…”

You unwrapped your legs from his waist and allowed him to pull out of you.  You were saddened slightly as he pulled out, but he pulled you close against his chest, so the two of you were still connected at some point. 

“So you’re not suing the school with everyone else?”

“I actually agreed to become a teacher…”

Your brow quirked as you looked up at him, “What?”

“The dean offered me a job,” he said with a shrug, “I-I may not be a lawyer, but this way I’ll be bringing in a paycheck, so you won’t be supporting me…and I’ll get to be helping people.”

“Jeff.  I wasn’t worried about you having a job or not,” you sighed, “but I’m glad that you aren’t suing the school.”

“I did, however, convince the rest of the group to re-enroll in the school.”

“You did what?”

“They’re not happy with how they turned out…and I can’t say I blame them…I mean, you were the only real good thing that came from my time at Greendale…but they all have things they feel they need to work on…and we all want to be there together…”

“They want to find their happy ending too…” you sighed, “there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Yeah…”

“So you’re going to be a teacher?”

“Fundamentals of law,” he confirmed with a heavy sigh, “he is going to add it to the catalogue last minute…”

“Professor Winger…I like it!” 

Chapter 19

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @mckeeee-1

[sapphia]

i have so many thoughts about chang from community and almost all of them are about him coming out in the final 30 seconds of the entire six-season show.

like, maybe dan meant it just to be a homage to the office and nothing more. maybe it’s just a joke and we will see it fully retconned in the movie. but imagine if it’s not.

from the very first episode, chang is a character who has been hiding his true self. when we first meet him, he’s an ethnically-speaking spanish teacher. this is played heavily for laughs, but we can already see the ways in which he’s running from himself. he’s very on edge about racism, and some of his first lines are him preemptively defending himself against racist comments. it’s not crazy to think that chang’s fixation on latin culture comes from his discomfort with his own race. and we can connect this to his sexuality too - chang met his latina wife at salsa dancing, and by marrying her he becomes closer to the image of the straight, non-asian man he wishes he were, rather than who he really is.

when we meet him, he is also clearly unpredictable bordering on unstable - showing signs of the mental illness (or as the show puts it, chang’s “craziness”) that defined his entire arc. chang is one of the few characters who gets a full arc, both downswing and upswing, as he starts off as a teacher, married and comfortable. as the series he continues, he loses everything, becoming first homeless, jobless and wifeless, then becoming a crazed dictator who kidnaps the dean, then claiming total amnesia, before owning up to his memories and confessing to his crimes and becoming a teacher again - but this time he has found his place and his people, having been accepted into what by this time has become the save greendale committee.

in the early seasons, chang’s craziness seems to escalate as his life gets worse, but you can also view it as his symptoms becoming harder to hide. his behaviour is visible mostly to his students, and only a little to his colleagues, but he’s considered a ‘wild card’ rather than someone who might genuinely need help. in this regard, he is forced to hide his mental illness rather than be open about it and be supported.

but seasons 5 and 6, chang GETS to be crazy. in a weirdly-heartwarming twist, chang is still unbalanced and he still betrays the group multiple times, but it’s treated as a character flaw no greater than anyone else’s in the group, and he is forgiven over and over again for his transgressions in the same way other characters are forgiven for theirs. it is, in my mind, not a coincidence that abed is the one to recognise that chang deserves a second chance regardless of whether he has amnesia or not, because changs issues begin to genuinely be treated as a mental illness and he received the support and help he didn’t before the series - and with it, we can see he does make genuine improvements. sure, like an addict, he still falls into his old ways and betrays the group, but these are treated like relapses, and the group doesn’t stop forgiving him, thus truly demonstrating that greendale is for everyone, especially people who don’t fit into wider society. underneath the humour, this says something serious; that people deserve help, even when they’ve relapsed. Even when they’ve relapsed multiple times. Recovery is not a straight road, nor is the journey to becoming a better person. chang is the hardest person for the study group to forgive, but he’s the most important because of that precise reason.

this comes to a head in the second-to-last episode where chang makes a speech that saves an incestuous marriage from annulment. the episode is about how the group are parasocial and they are at the worst when they’re around each other - except for chang, who actually demonstrably is much improved from the person he’s been for most of the show, and manages to smooth over the mess that the group accidentally creates. this is a hugely symbolic moment, one of the first actually positive and selfless things that chang has actively done.

so when he comes out at the end, it’s with all that context and baggage. finally, after six seasons, chang is accepted by the study group. even though he’s crazy and unpredictable. even though he’s needed a lot of help to function as well as the other characters. even though his shortcomings mean that he often ruins their plans, both deliberately and by accident. even though he leaves when he gets famous, throwing the finger at as he goes. each time he comes back, they forgive him and bring him into the fold once more. and this is the payoff, to show that their patience and forgiveness and work has been worth it, because chang is a better person for it. not only can the study group see that, but chang can see that, just as he has finally been able to see from his betrayal and the group’s instant unspoken forgiveness only a few episodes earlier that they truly will support him for whoever he is, whatever he does. and that just gets me.

[tehamelie]

Sex, lies and videotapes (Community 1.5)

Previous Post index

I bought my first mouse! Yes, I've worked and played with PCs daily for 22 years and I've never had to specifically buy a mouse before. So nice to not double and triple click on everything I try to click on. I also managed to move my Community DVD from the standalone DVD player I was duped into buying once so I feel obligated to use it as much as possible, to my DVD drive one step away so now we can do screenshots. Now let's catch up with those crazy college kids.

Community rewatch S1E5: Advanced criminal law

We're introduced to Greendale's most famous alumnus, celebrated actor and "model Puerto Rican American" Luis Guzman. Wait, Puerto Rico is already in the United States. Or maybe you can immigrate since it's a colony or something? I'm just assuming there's something off here since it's the dean talking. With a statue of Guzman and a school song due this week, he assures us "this sure feels like a real college to me!"

Duncan tells Jeff he's into Britta, even though he doesn't remember her name. They, or rather Duncan by himself, comes to a gentleman's agreement to let Jeff "finish striking out with her first." I wish more people were this honest about their intentions cause it feels like it would make some people who deserve to be lonely very lonely people.

Troy introduces the concept of messing with someone to Abed, with some hilarious claims like he's Barack Obama's nephew (we all expected Glover to be related to Hollywood superstar Danny Glover) and he invented the Ferrari. (Ferrari did that.)

Starburns wants to be called Alex; Señor Chang suggests he spends five hours carving that into his face. The Starburns story so far fascinates me. This man with his overly elaborate ostentatious facial hair who only ever interacts with a teacher who, while he has a lot of character and he's almost the only teacher we've been introduced to, is still presumed to be a minor side character like teachers are in students' lives. And we can already see he's tired of being defined by his starburns. (Yet he never shaves them off.)

Chang goes off the deep end when he finds someone's cheat sheet and promises to fail the whole class if no one takes the blame. The stakes have never been, okay I don't think anybody thinks he can do that. The study group has a study group moment where they make it clear all of them suspect everyone else.

Then Pierce asks Annie if she's a musician (since she's on the school song committee) and her immediate response is "Ew, no" which has to be one of the more surreal moments in this entire show. Is it Pierce who offends her, or musicians, or music? Only cartoon villains hate music.

Abed discovers lying is fun if you do it with comedic intent. Really, couldn't anything be funny if you want it to be funny? "This isn't a table. Ha!" might foreshadow the symbolically important role the study room table will come to play.

Come on Jeff, you've never studied anything.

Pierce discovers talking yourself up as an accomplished professional genius musician might lead to people expecting you to compose songs in a reasonable timeframe. It's impossible for me to imagine how people can just make up songs, but I have seen it happen on live streams and it can be done in mere minutes. Pierce immediately going into panic mode when they need it done "this Friday?" would be funny if he was even good, but it's even funnier cause he thinks he's absolutely brilliant.

Over in Spanish class, Britta goes Spartacus to save everyone from the wrath of Señor Chang. That sounds so much funnier than it is if you say it like that. But it gets pretty funny when the whole class instantly bombards her with rolled up papers on command. Britta faces tribunal by the swimming pool which affords Jeff an opportunity to gain some attorney-client privilege, if you know what I mean. (Britta sure does.)

Meanwhile Abed pulls the extremely Autism-relatable move of taking things further than anyone expects or even thought possible. He leads Troy to think he still doesn't get how to mess with people ("Did you hear, all dogs are blue now") and makes bleeping sounds while he takes notes in a script that reminds me of the Zodiac killer's little code messages. It's probably Arabic, right? At least Abed says it's "probably Arabic." (It looks nothing like Arabic.)

So the reason Britta's tribunal is in the bathhouse is so the judges get to use the fancy judges table they just got installed. What kind of swimming competition level does Greendale have? Is this another weirdly competent branch of the school like air conditioner repair we don't ever see?

And Pierce promises Annie to write a song that will make the Devil poop God's pants although from what she sees of his process, or "throbbing cosmic womb of creativity," I'd have doubts. I can't tell if he's faking confidence cause he thinks he can bullshit his way through the job like a real fraud or if he's trying to convince himself he can do it.

"I move this case be thrown out of the pool area." Dang, this episode is full of staggeringly good one-liners. Britta changes her story, catching her lawyer off guard (protip: don't ever do that if you have a real lawyer) and is saved from handing the case to the prosecution only because the trial is interrupted by a splash of water on the judge's table. How fancy is this wood?

And Abed makes Troy think he might possibly be a space alien for real, and It's lucky Abed doesn't know how fantastically naive Troy really is yet or this would be much meaner. And he's not done yet!

(Is Troy just trying to act like he's seen it all because he's not yet sure of himself enough to let out all his childlike wonder and enthusiasm, or did they not have his final character figured out at this point? That seems like a silly question once you see him sucking on a lollipop at the end of this scene.)

Here's a distinct core of raw humanity at the center of the episode that I'm not even sure how to approach. Jeff makes a naked appeal to be Britta's friend and I feel I did really judge him too harshly in previous episodes. ("I just didn't want to take sex off the table* without doing my due diligence.") And Britta tells us she's so used to being worthless and fucking everything up it's comfortingly familiar to her.

There's a moment when every great comedy stops being a comedy. . .oh that was it, now we're going back to the trial with a comical insanity defense. "Do we really want to make it a crime to be crazy at Greendale?"

Cue the first appearance of Leonard, naked in the pool yelling that he's not crazy. He may be my favorite.

Britta is exonerated mainly so Duncan can try to sleep with her under the pretext of giving therapy. You know, there's a point in the third season when we get Sucker Punched and it seems Greendale actually was a creepy old mental hospital all along, well, we'll get there in time.

Troy is really not buying Abed's prank and tells him he's gone way too far. Between shooting a greenscreen video to have a conversation with an identical copy of himself on TV in the darkened Spanish classroom, making a T-shirt with even weirder alien writing on it and a costume for Garrett (hey, first time we get a name for him too), it would seem like too much, wouldn't it. They make a pact of no more pranks, we see their handshake for the first time and everyone's friends. I wish my school experience had been more like this instead of people getting creeped out or angry and shutting me out.

Over to Pierce, who it seems manages to independently invent the tune to "Twinkle twinkle little star" and plays it for several seconds before recognizing it. He gives up and admits to Annie he's no more a songwriter than Billy Joel is. (Billy Joel burn count: 1) It turns out the one song he did write (to sell Hawthorn wipes) was just "She'll be coming round the mountain". But after a pep talk from Annie involving a questionable amount of references to being a teenage girl, even considering she's quoting a speech she was given by her mother verbatim, he comes up with a pretty great song (stolen from Bill Hornsby) and we get a grand closing scene outdoors with the statue and the music (and our heroes talking about how they'll definitely get sued.)

The stinger has a sweet gag where it seems the pranks continue with Abed putting 36 pens in Troy's mouth while he's sleeping, but it turns out he's just zoned out in order not to gag as they are taking turns checking to see how many pens they can fit in their mouths. Good, clean, drooly fun.

Learning fact of the week: Ferrari makes terrible vanity cars that you basically don't buy but spend millions of dollars and sign a contract to live a Ferrari-approved lifestyle that fits their brand to be allowed to lease. Buy Lamborghini instead, if you have that kind of car money.

*And then they eventually have sex on the table! In the episode where someone first calls attention to the table. And the whole subplot with the judge's table too. This is either the best foreshadowing in history or a coincidence using a very common turn of phrase.

[ask-frankie-dart]

The save greendale committee told me about it.

why do i only have 7 followers? i feel like you guys never take me seriously, i know i’ve been crazy in the past but i’m still a human. i don’t know if this is like a race thing or something??

[ilovecommunity]

i was gonna gif this but no gif could capture the hilarity that is community actors imitating dave matthews 😂😂

[ask-frankie-dart]

who is your favorite in the save greendale committee

Abed.

[toyhdgehog]

now i've been afraid of changing

cause i built my life around you

[defectivegembrain]

Not only have I thought about how each of the (valid members of the) study group/Save Greendale Committee would answer the clone fucking question, I have a whole scene in my mind where they discuss it. You want the scene? Here's the scene:

In the study room, all is quiet. They may actually be studying a little.

Abed, suddenly: Hey, would you guys fuck a clone of yourselves?

*Long silence, perceived as awkward by all except Troy and Abed*

Jeff: I'm not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone.

Jeff internally: I don't want to fuck my clone because my self loathing is THAT strong.

Frankie: I'm gay, but I still don't want to have sex with my clone, that's gross and weird.

Britta: It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.

Annie: It's not the same as masturbating, it'd be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!

Annie internally: I'd totally do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.

Britta: I'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck ME than ME?

Troy: I'd totally fuck my clone because I want to know if I'm good in bed. And that has nothing to do with what Britta just said.

Abed (confused and frustrated at everyone ignoring the real important issue): I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil?

*Troy gasps, rethinking his answer*

The Dean (walking in): Oh, we're talking clone fucking? To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy!

Chang (crawling out of the vent): Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because THAT'S HOW PRO CLONE FUCKING I AM!

*Shirley leaves the room shaking her head and crossing herself*

Elroy: No.

[spoondrifts]

when frankie comes out as a lesbian to the save greendale committee jeff is immediately smugly like "ha i knew it! that's why you never hit on me!" and frankie just gives him the flattest most unimpressed stare and says "i wouldn't hit on you even if you were a woman." jeff loses his mind for the rest of the week