#Settle Network
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btw psych is still the best network television show to ever air, no has ever done it like them and i doubt anyone ever will
#psych#shawn spencer#burton guster#juliet o'hara#carlton lassiter#henry spencer#karen vick#they literally nailed the vibe in their second ever episode#do you know how hard that is?#most shows (especially network tv) take at least the full first season to settle into a rhythm#hell there’s a lot of shows where it took multiple#and the fact that psych by and large still holds up#when a lot of 2000s shows definitely do not#and for like every other show in this format there’s going to be several episodes a season that are going to be meh#i would say psych as a whole has maybe a handful total#i could go on and on about how fucking good this show is#there’s seriously not enough credit for how insanely good this show is
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i knew she was gonna take him to his kids but i still Sobbed
#i feel so emotional idk man it feels like the end for me with this show#like once i see the 118 settled at the end of the season im ready to say goodbye to it i think#which is usually how i watch these long ass network shows anyway#by choosing whens my finale#mimi.txt#911 lb#911 spoilers
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me when i have an idea of how dod!mean lesbian!vanida looks like ( thanks sua from alst ) but i still have no idea what is her catalyst moment

#. // ♡ 🌱 txt#LIKE I HAVE HER DESIGN CRAFTING IN MY HEAD#IT’S JUST A ‘well how does it happen though’ THAT KILLS ME#cause i feel like with the implementation of the weapon shop in dod vanida’s sense of self has a longer shelf life#esp with her support network being a bit more expanded upon rather than the total isolation she felt before#cause she still has her odd dynamic with rory than kat ( not!robin ) who is actually a competent friend#and in dod where oliver ( not!kylar ) doesn’t jump into freak mode instantly and they are friends for a bit#but i am like. settled on the fact that i do want the start of it to be her encounter with the profane ( not!auriga )#and then her confiding in cody what she saw ( big MISS STEAK )#which just starts a catalyst of events cause cody tells others about it#like almost getting kidnapped & sold to the brothel by taylor ( not!whitney )#oliver entering freak mode and kidnapping vanida to ‘keep her safe from the target on her back’#( LIKE. RIGHT SENTIMENT WRONG EXECUTION )#and im thinking that to tie it all up maybe her going to ashley ( not!sydney ) and ashley being like ‘hey wanna go to church’#and her attempts of finding profoundness in her soul going wrong#but thats just a theory#( a rough draft. it’s not canon yet )#WE ARE WORKING ON IT. when i get more things written in the doc i feel like i’ll have a clearer vision#which i just wanna go on a rant so badly about the differences between the LIs compared to their original iterations soooo bad#but i have to wait… i have to be patient
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Rookie mistake is to believe your own character when they lie to your face.
That said, I don't think this is something that possibly could've happened as long as Roberts was still a part of the New Sequence. Her sense of self and identity were so tightly interwoven with her relationship to the Commodore, as his pseudo-son and the perfect Victorian officer following the Fall, that there was no way to extricate herself from that mindset. Even now, she thinks of herself with masculine language when thinking on that time and that relationship. No matter what happens, she was always his golden boy right up until his death. And only after she'd let go could she come to terms with who she is outside of that relationship, outside of her role in the navy.
I think the shift in her personality brought on by dawnburning may have also played a role in why this was buried so deeply. Dawnlight ego death had made Roberts more selfless, more focused on success of the group than any individual. She's had decades of practice at ignoring her own boundaries and own desires for the sake of the whole. Decades of habit she's still struggling to undo. What's one more voice? Especially when it's mumbling something she neither has the vocabulary nor experience to decipher. Easier to put on the uniform, the one she's expected to wear, because she has nothing else to put on.
Even now, she doesn't really have words for any of it. Roberts isn't entirely sure what she's doing. She's following impulse, trying to find what feels correct, what makes her happy. Her, and not anyone else. I'm not sure if she'd consider herself a woman at this point. She's deliberately not thinking about any of the implications, any of the conclusions, just what feels most right. And only time can tell where she'll go and what that journey will bring.
#roberts#man i did not expect this to be a thing i get actual real life emotions about#this egg cracked once the sediment had started to settle after the commodore's death#and it genuinely freaked me out a bit#'are you sure? are you absolutely sure about this?'#'you're in your 50s#just lost your job and your home for your entire adult life#have no friends or family or any sort of support network#can't pass for shit at the moment#and have a lifelong fear of being the butt of the joke'#'is this really the moment you choose to transition?'#apparently the answer is yes#i get secondhand anxiety thinking about it#but you know what#the road looks bright#she's figuring her shit out#this is the most peaceful tapping into 'roberts state of mind' has ever felt since her inception#and she's still utterly swagless and going to fuck things up#but they're going to be different fuck ups#and i'll be out here supporting and enabling womens wrongs
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Lady Whistledown. Sorry to keep bothering you today, but everything is moving fast, and it's hilarious. They are trying to finalize a ship name so it sticks in SM posts. Because they love to refer to us as BOBs even though that title doesn't appear anywhere or is recognizable. They feel like they put a negative spot light on it enough to choose a light positive name for themselves. Even if it's something like fireflies because it matches the bee energy. They just need Oliver to acknowledge it.
It will be a wild few days!!! The delusions and hate is coming in hard.
Baby, never apologize, please keep going back. I guess we need to strap in for some crazy then.
#honestly i don't think we fully appreciate the way buddie was named by Ryan#it makes things so much easier kapskpakaoaa#but I thought the ship name thing had been settled by abc with that one post#but anyway#brace for craziness#so nothing new#911#i really need a tag for asks#anon 😌#spy network#lady whistledown anon#anti bucktommy
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i wish it was four years from now
#i could be more settled than i am#have my life a little more figured out#maybe#maybe have a job i kind of like#have coworkers#know how to network#not be so fucking afraid#i wish it was four years from now.
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i think i’ll be taking a very big step back from 911 for the foreseeable future…maybe for forever 🤷🏻♀️
#i frankly haven’t enjoyed 911 since it moved to abc#i was holding out hope season 8 would be better as they were settled on their new network and back to a normal length season#but honestly i can still only list on one hand the number of things i’ve enjoyed about s7 and 8#and i think last night’s episode was the last straw for me for at least a while
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Engaging in escapist fantasies by looking at Masters degree programs
Systemics and evolution... Fine arts.... I want to go back to school so bad... If I didn't have to work and could just focus on learning, researching, experimenting, producing.... I wish i could i wish i could I WISH I COULD!!!!
#I have to wait for my partner to be a permanent resident and get settled#and then for him to go and do his degree and find and follow his own dream#and then find a job he loves#and then i can go#and I'll be 48 years old :)#i just wish!!!#i could go back to school#i love school#but i cant afford to go back#student loans wouldn't be enough to support me the way it was back then#and I'm too socially inept to do the social networking required to become a really good grad student#im terrible at making work connections and lowkey maybe I'll always be unsuccessful and not reaching my full potential because of it#i just hate STAGNATING#but its not forever#hopefully soon my partner can work and be confirmed a permanent stay here and we can stop surviving and start building a future#its hard because when you dont make enough to pay your bills you cant really focus on anything else#if he gets a job i could reduce my hours a bit and focus on my other passions#i was much happier when i was working to fund a Good Life and not just Stay Alive#a Good Life in the philosophical sense#i want to feel Fulfilled
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Welcome To Hawaii
After a grueling 14-hour journey, Corey and the other contestants finally arrive in Hawaii. A drive through Honolulu's scenic back roads brings them to their temporary home, the setting for the dating competition they've signed up for. The house leaves everyone in awe, with oohs and ahhs echoing as they take in the luxury around them. While Corey remains unsure about the whole experience, the stunning accommodations offer some reassurance that this adventure might just be worth it.
CLICK THE TITLE TO FIND OUT NOW!
#The Contestant Series#Corey Smiley#Hawaii#The Smiley Family#Cambio-Smiley Family Vaction#Arriving In Hawaii#Adriana Romano#Settling to The house#Airport Pickup#Non Binary Main Character#Non Binary chef#Arriving at the mansion#Non Binary fiction#LGBT Fiction#Lgbt Story Series#A Royal Blue Tale#The Royal Blue Network
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Ok wait I think I've thought of a way to incentivize myself to go to the career fair this week. I've gone back and forth between knowing I should go but being anxious about the resume + dress standards, so I really Don't want to go, but really the worst thing that could happen is I just wander around and don't make connections but the BEST thing that could happen is I manage to land a job right outta college. So I should go. Even the worst case scenario is really not that bad. It's worth the attempt at least.
But I've still been wavering bc it's in my nature to avoid unfamiliar situations. But I need to Not avoid this. Even if I'm only there for a few hours, even if nothing comes from it, I still need to *try.*
And So. Incentive.
I've also been thinking lately about how I've wanted a bellybutton piercing for a good while, & there's really nothing stopping me from getting it. And how it'd be good to get it Now while it's still cold so that it's more healed by the time it's warm again and I'll be wearing crop tops on occasion. And I had the thought just now that I could set up an appointment Today.......
But. I'm going to wait.
If I manage to get myself to go to the career fair on Wednesday, then I will reward myself by setting up an appointment to get my bellybutton pierced. But if I flake out, I will have to wait until Next winter before I can finally do it.
And so... incentive. Ugh.
#speculation nation#I DONT WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOO *vague sobbing*#but im supposed to be a big boy adult or whatever which means i need to do big boy adult networking and whatever.#dont wanna. really dont wanna. but i gotta.#going to the career fair isnt a guarantee of getting a job. but it still gives me *opportunities* that i otherwise might not have.#all this networking and career bullshit is enough to nearly give me hives. but whatever. i will at least Try.#today i have to do grocery stuff. and do the litter boxes and do my lab. so the day's pretty full.#but tomorrow im gonna settle my resume stuff. and see if i still have time to RSPV#if i dont it's still fine. it accepts walk-ins too. but if i RPSV then employers can see my resume ahead of time.#shrug. i'll figure it out.#then tuesday im gonna skip lab i think to maybe go to the store between class and orchestra#bc i need to have. recommended is business professional but failing that. business casual.#so i need some slacks at least. and we'll see about the shirt. idfk. thats a problem for tuesday me.#not worried about the lab bc they dont rly take attendance so as long as i turn it in before it's due. it's fine.#(the lab im finishing up today is for that class too lol)#sigh........... i really dont wanna do this shit. but i gotta at least try. wweh.
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Born to play 1 minute bullet
Forced to play 2+1
#chess#time control#1 minute#2+1#1 minute really gets my blood pumping#on the edge of my seat and all that#but my network doesn't allow me to enjoy my one minute so i have to settle for 2+1
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So I finally got my water heater replaced after more than half a year of it leaking and nearly destroying my floor, but that's not the story. The story is of the handyman that installed it.
Dude's name is Chris, and he's your typically midwestern schlub - friendly, apologizes too much, really likes the Cardinals, maybe a little younger than my parents. Hella nice tho, gets the heater installed quickly, and even offers to fix the floorboards it warped (after nearly tripping over the hump it made in the floor twice). Overall, a stress-free experience.
Then, as he's gathering up his tools - "So, I noticed your, uh, banner. Over your bed."*
*(The closet where my water heater is is located in my bedroom because I live in a mobile home, dude wasn't just wandering creepily into my bedroom)
He's referring to a giant pride flag that's hanging over my bed, with the words "Sounds gay, I'm in"
My anxiety spikes instantaneously, thinking oh christ I'm about to get hatecrimed or at least microaggressioned.
But then he says "Yeah, my daughter is gay, and I was wondering, like...where do you guys, ya know, meet up?"
What.
"Because she met her most recent girlfriend when she was in jail, and I keep asking why she doesn't just find a nice lesbian librarian or something and she said 'dad I know they're out there, I just don't know where'. So...like...where do you?"
So I ended up confessing to this nice man who installed my water heater that I don't know of any real gay culture in our mostly Baptist Missouri town of about 18,000 that routinely freaks out over pride displays in the library (I'm sure it exists but I'm lazy and haven't gone looking for it). My girlfriend lives in an area with a rather bustling gay community (we just did a face painting booth for their pride festival a few weeks ago), so maybe have her go out there with some friends, and also a lot of queers I know play dnd so maybe find a nice group of them and network. I then apologized that I wasn't more helpful in getting his daughter settled with a nice, wholesome dyke.
On the plus side, he was not deterred at all, and seemed to be very interested in the fact dnd was so popular amongst the el gee bee tees. I told him the names of some dms I know and told him to go to town. I do not know if the names will be given to his daughter or hoarded for himself so he can join a group and play like he did when he was a teenager and not be called satanic for it.
He's coming to fix my floor next week.
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Welcome To Hawaii
After a grueling 14-hour journey, Corey and the other contestants finally arrive in Hawaii. A drive through Honolulu's scenic back roads brings them to their temporary home, the setting for the dating competition they've signed up for. The house leaves everyone in awe, with oohs and ahhs echoing as they take in the luxury around them. While Corey remains unsure about the whole experience, the stunning accommodations offer some reassurance that this adventure might just be worth it.
CLICK THE TITLE TO FIND OUT NOW!
#The Contestant Series#Corey Smiley#Hawaii#The Smiley Family#Cambio-Smiley Family Vaction#Arriving In Hawaii#Adriana Romano#Settling to The house#Airport Pickup#Non Binary Main Character#Non Binary chef#Arriving at the mansion#Non Binary fiction#LGBT Fiction#Lgbt Story Series#A Royal Blue Tale#The Royal Blue Network
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Dancing is a Dangerous Game
Joel Miller x Fem!Reader, 9.4k
Summary: You need to escape the city, Joel needs help on his ranch. Despite the differences in your lifestyles, cowboy Joel teaches you the ways of the land.
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, unprotected piv, creampie, THEN oral (f!receiving), outdoor sex, joel is a widower, sorry i accidentally made it really sad, joel is also soft for reader, and a romantic
this is the product of me playing stardew valley and reading the pumpkin spice cafe. enjoy :)
The city had a way of hollowing a person out.
You realised it the morning you woke up with your cheek pressed against your desk, a half-finished cover letter stuck to your forearm, and the acidic tang of stale coffee burning your throat. Four years of late-night study sessions, unpaid internships, and networking events had earned you a shiny degree and absolutely no idea what to do with it.
The job offers were there if you wanted them. Cubicle farms with fluorescent lighting and managers who'd call you honey in meetings. Apartment leases with paper-thin walls and neighbours who played bass-heavy music at 3am. A life measured in subway delays and happy hours that weren't happy at all.
So when you found the ad for Miller Ranch buried in the classifieds—Help needed. Room and board. Quiet place for quiet souls—you didn't overthink it. You packed your duffel, left a vague note for your roommate, and pointed your car west until the skyscrapers melted into golden fields.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
The ranch wasn't what you expected.
You'd imagined something from a postcard—red barns, cheerful horses, maybe a friendly dog trotting up to greet you. Instead, you found a sprawling property that looked like it had been wrestled from the earth itself. The main house was all rough-hewn logs and a sagging porch, the wood weathered silver by decades of sun. A few outbuildings dotted the land, their roofs patched with rusted tin. And beyond it all, endless stretches of pasture fading into shadowy pines.
You were still sitting in your car, gripping the steering wheel, when the screen door creaked open.
He moved like the land did. Slow, deliberate, utterly unconcerned with anyone else's pace. Broad shoulders filled the doorway, his faded flannel rolled up to reveal forearms corded with muscle and scars. His beard was more grey than brown, his hair just long enough to curl at the nape of his neck. But it was his eyes that caught you: dark, assessing, the kind of eyes that had seen too much to be impressed easily.
He studied you with dark eyes that missed nothing. Your clean sneakers, your manicured nails, the way you squinted against the sunlight like you'd never truly seen it before.
"You lost?" His voice was rougher than you expected, like gravel under tires.
You lifted your chin. "Are you Joel Miller?"
"You the one who called about workin' here?" His voice was gravel wrapped in velvet, the kind of sound that settled low in your stomach.
You swallowed. "Yeah. I, uh—I emailed last week."
He didn't smile. Just nodded once and stepped aside. "Better come in, then."
You learned fast that Joel Miller didn't waste words.
He showed you the ropes in silence—how to check the fence lines for breaks, how to tell if a horse was favouring a leg, which tools to use when a storm knocked a branch through the chicken coop roof. His hands were always moving, always working, rough fingers handling everything with a care that surprised you.
"You ever done any of this before?" he asked on your third day, watching you struggle to coil a rope properly.
You wiped sweat from your brow. "Does petting a pony at a county fair count?"
A huff. Not quite a laugh, but close. "Guess we're startin' from scratch, then."
He didn't baby you, though. When you spilled a bucket of grain, he made you sweep it up. When you misread the clouds and left the hay bales uncovered before a downpour, you spent the next afternoon hauling soggy bundles to the compost. But he never yelled. Never made you feel stupid. Just showed you, again and again, until your hands stopped shaking and your muscles stopped burning.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
You found him in the kitchen at 2 AM, the old percolator hissing on the stove.
"Couldn't sleep?" you asked, lingering in the doorway.
He didn't turn around. "Old habit. Used to take night shifts checkin' the herds."
You padded closer, the wooden floor cool under your bare feet. The kitchen smelled like coffee and cinnamon—he'd been baking earlier, you realized. There was still flour dusting the counter.
"Mind if I join you?"
A pause. Then he reached into the cabinet for a second mug.
You sat at the scarred oak table while he poured, the steam curling between you. Outside, the wind whispered through the pines.
"City girl like you," he said suddenly, sliding the coffee toward you. "What made you come out here?"
You wrapped your hands around the mug, letting the heat seep into your skin. "Needed to remember what quiet sounded like."
"Why'd you really come out here, darlin'?"
The endearment slipped out so naturally you almost missed it.
You watched the horizon lighten from black to deep blue. "I think... I needed to prove I could."
His knuckles brushed yours as he reached for the bottle. Neither of you moved away.
For the first time, Joel looked at you—really looked at you. And you saw something flicker in his gaze, something warm and understanding.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
The sky turned the colour of a fresh bruise an hour before the twister touched down.
You were repairing the chicken coop roof when the wind kicked up, sending your hammer tumbling into the dirt. The air felt charged, like the moment before a lightning strike.
Joel's shout carried across the yard. "Get to the cellar! Now!"
You'd never seen him run before. He moved like a man possessed, boots pounding the hard-packed earth as he closed the distance between you. His arm hooked around your waist just as the first hailstone struck your shoulder, a marble-sized bullet of ice that left your skin throbbing.
The storm cellar doors groaned in protest as Joel wrenched them open. Damp, cool air rushed up to meet you as he practically carried you down the stairs.
Darkness.
Then the single bulb flickered to life, revealing shelves of canned goods, emergency supplies, and, oddly, a stack of well-loved paperbacks.
"You okay?" Joel's hands were suddenly everywhere, tilting your chin up to check your pupils, running down your arms to inspect for injuries, his touch clinical yet somehow intimate.
"I'm fine," you breathed, though your heart was trying to escape your chest. "Just... just scared."
The admission hung between you as the storm raged overhead. The bulb flickered again, then died completely, plunging you into blackness.
Joel's voice came from closer than you expected. "Ain't nothin' in this world can hurt you while I'm here."
You reached out blindly, your fingers finding the rough denim of his shirt. His breath hitched as you fisted the fabric.
Somewhere above, the world was ending. Here in the dark, something was beginning.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
The cellar doors groaned as Joel shouldered them open, releasing you both into a world transformed. Dawn painted the ravaged landscape in pale gold, revealing the storm's cruel artistry. A century-old oak now lay uprooted across the north pasture, its massive roots clawing at the sky like skeletal fingers. Fence posts had been plucked from the earth and scattered like straws, barbed wire curling in dangerous spirals across the mud. The chicken coop roof had taken flight, landing thirty yards away in a splintered heap.
Joel exhaled sharply through his nose, the sound more weary than angry. He rotated his left shoulder unconsciously—the old injury from a mustang bucking him off always acted up before rain.
"Gonna need to—"
"Check the livestock first," you finished.
His eyebrows lifted slightly. Two months ago you'd asked if cattle could swim during a flash flood. Now you knew ranch priorities.
The work was brutal. By noon, your shirt clung to your back with a mixture of sweat and residual storm humidity. Joel moved with relentless efficiency, his forearms corded with muscle as he wrestled fence posts back into alignment. You watched the way his wedding band caught the sunlight when he wiped his brow, the silver chain glinting against his sun-darkened skin.
At the third post, your blisters burst.
You didn't make a sound, but Joel's head snapped up like he'd heard something. His eyes dropped to your hands, where blood seeped through the leather work gloves.
"Goddammit." He was in front of you in three strides, peeling the ruined gloves off with surprising gentleness. His thumb brushed the raw flesh of your palm, and you hissed involuntarily.
Joel's mouth tightened. "Should've said something."
"You would've told me to toughen up."
"Would've told you to take a damn break." He rummaged in his saddlebag for the medical kit he always carried. The antiseptic stung, but his hands were steady as he wrapped your palms in gauze. "Stubborn city girl."
The way he said it sounded almost like praise.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
The next week passed in a haze of exhaustion and unexpected discoveries.
You learned that:
A properly sharpened axe sings through wood with a sound like a breath being released
Joel's coffee preferences involved exactly two sugar cubes (never spoonfuls)
Your body could ache in places you didn't know existed
Each evening, Joel would appear at your elbow with some new remedy; a salve made from beeswax and lavender for your sunburn, a stretch to ease the knot between your shoulder blades, a cold beer pressed into your hand with a quiet "You earned it."
Tonight, you found him at the workbench, repairing a bridle by lantern light. The golden glow softened the lines of his face, catching the silver strands in his beard. He didn't look up as you approached, but his shoulders relaxed slightly when you set a fresh cup of coffee beside him—two sugars.
"Thanks." His voice was rough from disuse.
You leaned against the bench, close enough to smell leather and the faint cedar scent of his soap. "Show me?"
Joel's hands stilled. For a heartbeat, you thought he'd refuse. Then he shifted, making space for you at his side.
"Watch close," he murmured, his shoulder pressing against yours as he demonstrated the intricate stitch. His fingers moved with practiced ease, the needle flashing in the lamplight. "This part's gotta be tight enough to hold, loose enough to flex."
You tried to focus on the technique, but his proximity made concentration impossible. The heat radiating from his body, the way his breath stirred your hair when he leaned in to correct your grip—
The needle slipped.
"Shit." A bead of blood welled on your thumb.
Joel reacted before you could, catching your wrist. His calloused thumb brushed the droplet away, his mouth set in a hard line. "Ain't paying you to bleed on my tack."
But he didn't let go.
The lantern flickered, casting long shadows across the barn wall—two silhouettes frozen in the amber light, fingers intertwined.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
Betty the nanny goat had taken a disliking to you from day one.
Today, she'd decided to escalate hostilities.
"You're gonna want to—" Joel's warning came too late as you bent to refill the water trough.
Betty's horns connected with your backside with the precision of a missile strike. The world tilted violently as you face-planted into the mud, the entire herd erupting in gleeful bleats that sounded suspiciously like laughter.
Strong hands hauled you upright before you could drown in three inches of water. Joel's chest vibrated against your back—the bastard was laughing.
"Told you she don't like people looming over her," he said, voice thick with barely-contained amusement.
You wiped mud from your cheek, glaring. "You could've warned me sooner."
"Where's the fun in that?" The words slipped out before he could stop them, his eyes widening slightly at his own audacity.
Something warm unfurled in your chest. This was new—Joel teasing, letting his guard down. You retaliated by flicking a glob of mud at his shirt.
His jaw dropped. "Did you just—"
The second mudball hit him square in the chest.
For one terrifying second, Joel looked genuinely pissed. Then his eyes darkened with something far more dangerous. "Oh, you're gonna regret that, city girl."
What followed was a mud battle worthy of any childhood memory, complete with strategic retreats behind hay bales and Betty the goat serving as an unwitting double agent. By the time you both collapsed against the fence, breathless and filthy, Joel's laughter rang out clear and unguarded—a sound you'd only heard in fragments before.
The setting sun painted him in gold, his smile lines crinkling in a way that made your chest ache. Mud streaked his cheek, his shirt clung to his torso, and his eyes—
His eyes held yours with an intensity that stole your breath.
The moment stretched, thrumming with something unspoken. Then a cold rivulet of mud slid down your neck, breaking the spell.
Joel cleared his throat, suddenly business-like. "Better clean up before supper." But his fingers lingered on your elbow as he helped you up, his touch lingering just a heartbeat too long.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
The generator sputtered its last breath during the season's first real cold snap.
You found Joel in the living room, already building a fire with the economical movements of someone who'd done this a thousand times before. The flickering light caught the silver in his stubble, the strong line of his nose, the way his shirt stretched across his shoulders as he worked.
"Got extra blankets in the cedar chest," he said without turning.
You hesitated in the doorway, suddenly hyperaware of the flannel you wore—his flannel, the soft blue one that had been hanging in the hall until you'd "borrowed" it three days ago. The one that smelled faintly of his soap and the woodsmoke that always clung to his clothes.
Joel turned then, freezing when his eyes landed on you. His gaze darkened as it travelled from your bare feet to the oversized cuffs swallowing your hands to the way the fabric draped off one shoulder.
Neither of you moved.
The grandfather clock ticked loudly in the silence, each second stretching taut between you. Somewhere in the house, a pipe groaned. Outside, the wind howled through the pines.
Joel's throat worked as he swallowed hard. "You—"
A log shifted in the fireplace, sending up a shower of sparks. The moment shattered.
"Should check the livestock," he finished roughly, grabbing his coat with unnecessary force. The door clicked shut behind him with deliberate finality.
You sank onto the couch, pressing your face into the flannel's collar. His scent surrounded you, warm and familiar and utterly intoxicating. Outside, the temperature dropped steadily, but your skin burned as if touched by sunlight.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
The invitation arrived on a Thursday, creased and coffee-stained, delivered by old man Henderson when he came to pick up his repaired plough.
"Annual Harvest Social," the flyer read in looping script. "Music, supper, and dancing at the Grange Hall. All welcome."
You were elbows-deep in soapy dishwater when Joel tossed it onto the counter with a grunt. "Town nonsense," he muttered, but his eyes flicked to your reaction.
You wiped your hands carefully, studying the faded print. "We going?"
The silence stretched so long you thought he hadn't heard. Then:
"You wanna go?" His voice was carefully neutral, but you noticed the way his thumb worried at a callus on his palm.
The image flashed unbidden—Joel in a clean shirt, his large hands warm at your waist, moving to music under paper lanterns. Your throat went dry.
"Could be fun," you managed.
Joel studied you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then he gave a single nod. "I'll dig out my good boots."
The night of the dance, you stood frozen before the hallway mirror, suddenly unsure. The dress—a thrifted floral sundress—felt foreign after months of denim and flannel.
A knock rattled the doorframe.
"Ready or not, we're gonna be—" Joel's voice died abruptly as you turned.
He stood transfixed in the doorway, his good white shirt half-buttoned over a clean undershirt, his usual scuffed boots replaced by polished ones. His gaze travelled down your bare legs with the weight of a physical touch before snapping back to your face.
Something dark flickered in his eyes. "You... uh." He cleared his throat. "We're gonna be late."
The truck ride into town was silent except for the staticky country station and the sound of Joel's fingers tightening rhythmically on the steering wheel.
The Grange Hall glowed like a lantern against the prairie night, alive with fiddle music and laughter. You felt every eye on you as Joel guided you through the crowd with a hand at the small of your back—his touch burning through the thin fabric of your dress.
"Miller!" A grizzled rancher clapped Joel on the shoulder. "Ain't seen you at one of these in—" His gaze landed on you. "Well I'll be."
Joel's fingers flexed against your spine. "This is—"
"His ranch hand," you supplied, watching the older man's eyebrows climb.
The music shifted then—a slow waltz, all aching strings and longing. Joel stiffened beside you.
Across the room, women whispered behind their hands. You caught snippets—"...that Miller..." "...never brought anyone since..." "...still wears Tess's..."
Joel's jaw clenched. "We should—"
"Dance with me." The words left your lips before you could stop them.
His eyes went wide. "I ain't much for—"
"Please."
Something in your voice broke his resolve. With a shaky exhale, Joel took your hand and led you onto the floor. His right arm slid around your waist, his left hand cradling yours like something precious.
"You're supposed to—"
"Just follow me," he murmured into your hair.
And God help you, you did.
Joel moved with surprising grace for a man who claimed to hate dancing, his body swaying in time to the music. The heat of him surrounded you—the cedar and leather scent of his cologne, the scratch of his collar against your cheek, the way his breath hitched when your hips brushed.
The song ended too soon. Joel made to pull away, but you clung to his hand.
"One more?" you whispered.
In answer, he drew you closer, his lips brushing your temple as the next song began.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
The truck cab was thick with unspoken words as Joel navigated the dark ranch roads. Moonlight painted his profile in silver, catching the tension in his jaw.
"You okay?" you ventured.
His grip on the wheel tightened. "Tess loved those dances."
The name hung between you like a ghost. You'd never asked about the wedding band he still wore, about the locked bedroom door at the ranch, about the way he sometimes stared at the horizon like he was waiting for someone.
The truck rolled to a stop outside the darkened house. Joel didn't cut the engine.
"I should tell you about her," he said hoarsely.
You reached across the seat, covering his hand with yours. "Only if you want to."
His fingers turned, intertwining with yours. For a long moment, you sat there in the quiet, two sets of breath fogging the windshield.
Then Joel killed the engine.
You sat in the stillness, your hand wrapped around his, the silence heavy but not uncomfortable. The only sound was the soft rustling of the wind through the trees, the hum of the distant creek, and the distant calls of coyotes. For a second, you both just... sat. Neither of you moving, neither of you speaking. The weight of the unspoken words between you felt like an uncharted territory neither of you were willing to navigate just yet.
Joel’s thumb brushed lightly over your knuckles, a subconscious comfort more than anything else. His gaze shifted to the darkened ranch house ahead, his eyes narrowing as though the past was pressing in, refusing to let go.
“Tess was…” He started, then paused. The words seemed to choke him for a second. “She was my world, y'know? Before…” He swallowed hard, and you could see his jaw tighten as he forced the rest of it out. “Before she died.”
Your breath caught, the weight of the sudden revelation hanging thick between you. You could feel him pull away into himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He wasn’t looking at you anymore—his eyes were trained somewhere in the distance, focusing on nothing in particular.
“She was the love of my life," Joel continued, his voice low, raw. "We had a house, a future... hell, we had plans. Then…” He trailed off, his hand tightening briefly around the steering wheel, like he was holding onto something for dear life. “She got sick. Fast. One minute, she was fine. The next, she was gone. Just like that."
You stayed quiet, your heart thumping painfully in your chest. You didn’t know what to say, how to ease the weight of that kind of loss. The kind of grief that ran so deep it felt like it might swallow him whole. Joel had always been a man of few words, but this? This was raw.
“The doctors said there was nothing they could do. That it was too late. I kept telling myself I should’ve known... that I should’ve noticed sooner, that maybe I could’ve done something. But I didn’t. And now…” His voice cracked, but he quickly cleared his throat, regaining his composure, even as his hands trembled on the wheel. “Now, it’s just me. And sometimes I wonder if that’s all I’ll ever be. Just a guy who lost everything.”
You swallowed hard, heart aching for him. The grief, the loss—it was so much more than you’d ever imagined.
His gaze flicked to you, but only for a moment, before he looked away again, his expression unreadable. There was a tension in his posture, a stiffness that told you he was holding himself back from saying more. From letting it all spill out.
“I don’t talk about her much," he muttered, his voice hoarse, like the words had been locked away for far too long. "Tess… she was everything to me. I don’t know how to move on from that. I don’t know if I ever will.”
You reached out without thinking, your fingers brushing against his hand, and for a moment, he didn’t pull away. He just let you hold on to him, his rough fingers curling against yours as if you were grounding him, pulling him back from the edge of a memory that threatened to pull him under.
“I’m not asking you to forget her,” you said quietly, squeezing his hand, your voice steady. “You don’t have to. But you don’t have to carry it all by yourself, either.”
Joel’s breath hitched, and for the first time, you saw the rawness of the man behind the rancher—the weight he’d been shouldering for so long, and the part of him that was still fragile, even if he didn’t show it. His eyes softened, though there was still that quiet wariness in his gaze. He hadn’t let go of the past, not entirely, and maybe he never would.
But maybe, just maybe, he could let a little of it slip away.
“You remind me of her,” he whispered, so quietly you almost didn’t hear it. “The way you... the way you care. Even when I don't deserve it.”
Your chest tightened, and you leaned in, your hand still holding his. "I'm here, Joel," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "And I'm not going anywhere."
For a long moment, there was nothing but the quiet hum of the truck’s engine and the distant sound of wind rustling through the trees. Neither of you moved, neither of you spoke. It was as if the world had paused, just for that instant, to let the weight of the moment settle.
Eventually, Joel shifted, breaking the silence with a deep breath. He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a slow exhale. “Guess it’s getting late,” he said, trying to regain his usual composure, but his voice was still rough, thick with something unspoken. “We should get inside.”
You both climbed out of the truck, and Joel led the way into the house, his hand brushing against yours once more as you followed him inside. The warmth of the fire hit you immediately, the familiar scent of woodsmoke mingling with the faint smell of coffee and cinnamon.
Joel stopped by the fire, his shoulders hunched slightly as he stared into the flames. You stood beside him, not speaking, just being there. A quiet presence, a steady hand in the darkness.
After a long while, Joel spoke again, his voice low. “You remind me of the way things used to be. Before…” He let the sentence trail off, like he didn’t want to finish it.
You didn’t press him. Instead, you simply nodded, letting him find his own pace.
For a while, neither of you said anything, but there was something in the silence now. Something warm. Something that felt like the beginning of something new, something fragile but real.
Eventually, Joel turned toward you, his eyes dark but not empty. His fingers brushed your cheek, lingering just a moment before he pulled back, like he wasn’t sure whether he was allowed to touch you like that.
"Thanks," he muttered, his voice rough. "For listening."
And for the first time in a long time, Joel Miller didn’t feel quite so alone.
The fire crackled softly, casting a warm glow over the room as the shadows danced across the wooden walls. The night was quiet, but it wasn’t heavy. It felt more like a kind of peace settling in around the two of you. Neither of you spoke for a while, as if the silence had become its own conversation.
Joel stood by the fire, staring into the flames, his posture a little less rigid than it had been before. His hand rested on the mantle, his fingers curling around it like a lifeline, but the tension in his body had softened. He looked different somehow, less burdened. Maybe it was the weight of his grief being shared, maybe it was just the comfort of your presence, but something in him had shifted.
You stayed quiet, sitting on the couch, your eyes watching him, the soft sound of his breathing filling the space between you. You didn’t feel the need to fill the silence with words—it felt like a space where both of you could just be.
But eventually, Joel shifted, breaking the stillness with a quiet sigh. He ran a hand through his hair again, like he was trying to work through something in his mind.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, y’know?” he said, his voice low, almost like he was speaking to himself more than to you. “I’ve been running on autopilot for so damn long... Just trying to make it through the day. But lately... everything feels harder.”
You could hear the weight of exhaustion in his voice, the kind that had settled deep in his bones over the years. He wasn’t just tired from the work—he was tired of the constant struggle, of carrying everything on his own.
You stood up slowly, walking over to him. Without saying a word, you reached out, your fingers brushing against his arm. It was an almost imperceptible gesture, but it was enough. He stiffened for a second, but then his shoulders relaxed, and he glanced at you, his eyes softening.
“I don’t know how to fix everything for you, Joel,” you said quietly. “I can’t take away the pain, or bring back what you lost... But I’m here. And you don’t have to do this alone anymore.”
He looked at you for a long moment, like he was seeing you in a different light—maybe not just as someone to lean on, but as someone who was offering him something he hadn’t realised he needed. A way out of the solitude he’d built around himself.
You reached up then, gently cupping his face with your hands. His stubble scraped lightly against your skin, and his breath hitched for a second, but you didn’t pull away. You simply held him there, your eyes locked with his, letting the words settle between you.
“Maybe we don’t have to figure everything out right now,” you said softly, your voice steady despite the storm you could sense in him. “Maybe we can just... take it one step at a time.”
For a long moment, neither of you moved. The only sounds in the room were the crackling of the fire and the soft rhythm of your breathing. And then, almost imperceptibly, Joel leaned into your touch, his eyes closing briefly, like he was allowing himself to feel something—anything—that wasn’t the weight of the past.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, as though the words were both a confession and a plea. “I don’t know how to make it right.”
You smiled gently, your thumbs brushing the roughness of his skin, your heart aching for him. “You don’t have to make it perfect, Joel. You don’t have to fix everything. Just... be here. With me.”
The tension in his body slowly ebbed away, and for the first time in a long while, Joel allowed himself to lean into you. To let someone else carry a small piece of the burden. The moment was fleeting but meaningful, a quiet understanding passing between you both.
“I’m not promising anything, but…” Joel trailed off, his gaze softer now, something more vulnerable creeping into his eyes. “Maybe I’ll start trying. For once.”
You nodded, your heart full of quiet hope, and took a small step closer to him. “One step at a time.”
Joel didn’t answer, but his hand reached for yours, his grip gentle but firm. He didn’t let go when your fingers intertwined. It was a small gesture, but it meant something bigger than words could convey.
The fire crackled again, casting more dancing shadows on the walls, but it felt like the start of something new. Something fragile but real. And for the first time, you didn’t feel like you were alone either.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
You woke early, as usual, the first light of dawn peeking through the curtains. You could hear Joel already moving around downstairs, the familiar sound of boots on the wooden floor, the creak of the old chair at the kitchen table. You stretched and pulled yourself out of bed, the chill of the room pushing you into motion. It was another busy day ahead—feeding the animals, checking the fences, mending what needed mending—but you found yourself looking forward to it more than you had before.
You made your way downstairs, the aroma of brewing coffee filling the air before you even reached the bottom step. Joel was standing at the stove, his back to you, flipping pancakes in a skillet with an ease that came from years of practice. The warm, golden light of the morning spilled through the windows, making the kitchen glow.
"You’re up early," you said, leaning against the doorframe, your voice soft but teasing.
Joel glanced over his shoulder at you, offering a small, almost imperceptible smile. "Not much for sleepin’ in." He turned back to the skillet, flipping the pancake with a practiced flick of his wrist. "Figured I’d get a head start today."
You crossed to the counter, grabbing the mug Joel had already set out for you. "I could get used to this," you said, pouring yourself a cup of coffee. "You know, waking up to pancakes and coffee."
He let out a low chuckle, his eyes catching yours for just a second. "Don't get too comfortable. I’m not much of a cook. You might end up makin' these yourself sooner or later."
You laughed softly, your fingers curling around the warm mug. "I think I could manage."
There was an ease in the way the two of you moved around each other now. Where once you’d felt like a stranger in a new world, now it felt... natural. Even the hard work didn’t seem quite so overwhelming anymore. You knew the land better, understood its rhythms, the way it demanded respect without asking for much in return. And Joel—well, Joel was becoming something you hadn’t anticipated. He was still the man of few words, the one who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, but there was a gentleness in him now. A trust.
You sat down at the table, watching him finish cooking, the way his large hands moved so gracefully despite their size. There was a quiet confidence in him now that made your chest tighten, and it wasn’t just because of his strength. It was because, for the first time in a long while, he seemed like he was allowing himself to be here—really here—with you.
"After breakfast," Joel said, setting the last pancake on the stack, "we need to check the horses. Haven’t seen 'em this morning."
You nodded, taking a sip of your coffee. "Got it. I’ll grab the gear."
The work felt familiar now, but there was something different about it. It wasn’t just about chores anymore—it was a way to connect, to feel part of something larger than yourself. You and Joel worked together, side by side, fixing fences, checking the cattle, and tending to the land. It was a steady rhythm, one that was comforting in its predictability.
By midday, you’d found your stride. You’d mended a tear in the barn roof, helped Joel move hay bales, and checked the water troughs. And when the sky turned to gold with the setting sun, you both found yourselves leaning against the fence, the last light of the day painting everything in warm hues.
Joel’s hand brushed against yours as he shifted, and for a moment, you felt like the world had quieted completely—just the two of you, standing in the vastness of the land you had come to love, connected in a way that felt timeless.
"You know," he said, breaking the silence, "I never thought I'd be this comfortable with someone around. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had people work with me before, but it’s different with you."
You looked up at him, meeting his eyes. There was something in his gaze now—something deeper. "I think I’m finally getting used to the quiet, too," you admitted. "And to you. I’ve never met anyone quite like you, Joel."
Joel’s lips twitched, a small, rare smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Guess I’m just a stubborn old cowboy," he said with a hint of humor, though there was something more sincere in the way he said it, like he was offering a piece of himself you hadn’t seen before.
You shifted closer, the space between you shrinking. "I don’t mind stubborn," you replied softly. "It’s... kind of endearing."
Joel's smile softened, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. The evening air was still and cool, the sound of the crickets chirping blending with the distant lowing of the cattle. The world was small here, simple. But somehow, it felt full.
When you reached up to brush a loose strand of hair from your face, your hand grazed Joel’s arm. He stiffened just slightly, and for a heartbeat, you both seemed to hesitate. Then, almost without thinking, you reached out again, this time more deliberately, and placed your hand on his forearm, your fingers lingering.
Joel’s gaze flickered down to where your hand rested, and then back to your face. There was an unspoken understanding between you now—no more games, no more hesitations.
"Don’t go getting any ideas," Joel said, though there was no real bite to his words. "You might end up stickin' around for good."
A light laugh bubbled up from you, and you squeezed his arm. "I’m already stickin' around," you said, your voice more certain.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
The sun was beginning to dip low in the sky, casting an orange glow over the horizon as you and Joel made your way back from the creek. The day had been long, but there was a certain satisfaction in it—a quiet contentment that settled in your chest. Now, as the evening light bathed everything in gold, the two of you walked in silence back toward the house. The barn loomed behind you, and the fields stretched out endlessly before you, a peaceful canvas of green and brown.
You were both tired, but there was an energy between you that felt new, something that tugged at the edges of your thoughts. It was the way your heart seemed to race just a little faster every time Joel’s presence shifted around you. The way your breath caught in your throat when you glanced at him from the corner of your eye.
Joel stopped walking a few paces ahead of you, his boots kicking up the dirt, and turned toward you, his face softening in the fading light. The warmth of the day was still lingering in the air, and the world around you seemed to hush, waiting.
“You’ve been here for a while now,” Joel said, his voice low, like he was considering each word carefully. “I’ve seen you adjust. You’ve done more than just fit in. You’ve... become part of this place.”
You met his gaze, your heartbeat quickening at the seriousness in his eyes. "I never thought I’d find a place like this," you said quietly, your voice almost a whisper, as though sharing a secret. "And I never thought I’d meet someone like you."
Joel stepped closer, his boots scraping softly against the dirt. His presence felt different now—closer, more intense. He stood just a few feet away, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. The distance between you seemed to shrink with each passing second, the silence heavy with unspoken words.
“I’ve been thinking about that,” Joel said, his voice softer now, like he was letting down a barrier. “About how much you’ve changed things around here. Not just for the ranch, but... for me.”
Joel’s eyes flicked to your lips for the briefest moment before returning to your eyes. And in that instant, the world seemed to still, the sounds of the ranch fading into nothing.
With a slight movement, Joel reached out, his hand gently cupping your cheek. It was a soft, almost tentative gesture, but there was a strength to it, an undeniable certainty in the way his thumb brushed across your skin.
Your heart pounded in your chest, and you could feel the warmth of his touch spread through you, igniting something that had been slowly building since you arrived.
Before you could think, before the moment could slip away, you leaned in.
Joel’s hand slid around to the back of your neck, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened, the world around you melting away. His lips were warm and insistent, and the gentle pressure of his kiss sent a thrill rushing through you. For a moment, it was just the two of you—the world and all its distractions faded into the background.
When you finally pulled away, breathless and slightly dazed, you rested your forehead against his, your eyes fluttering open to meet his gaze. There was a quiet understanding between you now, something new, something that had shifted in the space between the two of you.
Joel’s voice was barely more than a whisper as he spoke. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”
You smiled, your chest full, heart racing. “I think I’ve wanted you to.”
He chuckled softly, his thumb brushing across your cheek. “You’re not what I expected, you know that?”
You laughed softly, the sound light and genuine, before stepping back just slightly, your fingers brushing his. “Neither are you.”
You were up earlier than usual, moving through the kitchen in a daze of thoughts, your mind still racing from the kiss. The silence of the ranch was comforting, almost like a cocoon, wrapping you up in the stillness of everything around you.
Joel hadn’t said much when you parted ways the night before, but the look in his eyes—intense, yet soft—had told you everything. It was clear that neither of you had expected the shift that had come so naturally, but now, there was no denying it. Whatever had just begun, it wasn’t something you could walk away from.
You heard the soft sound of boots on the porch, the familiar rhythm of Joel’s steps as he made his way toward the house. You turned around just as he entered, the sight of him bringing an unexpected rush of warmth to your chest.
He smiled, a little shy, a little unsure—like he was still figuring out where to stand in all of this. You both were.
“Mornin’,” he greeted softly, his deep voice carrying a quiet sincerity.
“Morning,” you replied, offering him a smile that felt more like home than anything else.
By the time breakfast was ready, the kitchen was filled with the scent of eggs and bacon, the soft clinking of plates as you set the table.
“Want to head out to the fields later?” Joel asked, his voice casual but with a hint of anticipation.
You nodded, your stomach fluttering with excitement. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
Joel smiled, that familiar warmth returning to his expression.
⭑・゚゚・*:༅。.。༅:*゚:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*゚:༅。.。༅:*・゚゚・⭑
The sun hung high in the sky, casting long shadows across the fields as you and Joel made your way out into the vast expanse of the ranch. The air had warmed up since the early morning, and there was a gentle breeze rustling through the grass, carrying with it the sweet scent of wildflowers.
As you walked beside him, your thoughts drifted back to the peaceful breakfast you’d shared. The conversation had been easy, flowing naturally between you, but there had been something comforting in the silence, too.
When you reached the edge of the field, you stopped, your eyes falling on a patch of grass where Joel had already laid out a blanket. There, in the middle of the field, with nothing but the sounds of nature around you, he had set up a picnic. The scene was simple, but there was something about it that felt intimate, like a secret just for the two of you.
The two of you ate in comfortable silence, the easy rhythm of sharing a meal together only adding to the sense of peace that seemed to settle over you both. After a few moments, Joel reached for the book beside him, holding it out to you with a slight grin.
“I thought you might like this one,” he said, his voice quiet. “It’s one of my favorites. I’ll read it to you, if you’d like.”
You took the book from his hands, glancing at the cover—The Secret Garden. Your heart warmed at the thought of him wanting to share something so personal. It felt like an invitation to step into his world, to see the things he held close.
“I’d like that,” you said softly, your eyes meeting his.
Joel settled back against the blanket, the sun casting a golden glow over him, and you curled up beside him, resting your head on his shoulder. The moment felt so simple, but in its simplicity, it was perfect. The world outside this small bubble you had created seemed to fade away as he began to read aloud, his voice deep and steady, the words flowing smoothly into the air.
As he read, you let yourself relax, the sound of his voice weaving a sense of comfort around you. There was something incredibly romantic about the way he read, each word filled with a quiet intensity, like he was sharing a piece of himself with you in each sentence. The book’s story was a good one, the characters coming to life with Joel’s voice, but it wasn’t just the story that held your attention—it was the feeling of being here with him, in this moment, with nothing else to do but listen and be present.
You could hear the occasional breeze stirring the trees, the distant call of a bird, but everything else seemed to fade into the background as you found yourself wrapped up in both the story and in him.
Eventually, Joel turned a page, pausing for a moment as he glanced at you. “You comfortable?” he asked, his voice low, almost like a whisper.
You nodded, lifting your head slightly to look up at him. “I’m perfect,” you said, and it was true. There was no place you’d rather be than here, beside him, feeling the warmth of the day and the gentleness of his presence.
Joel gave you a soft smile, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he returned to the book. He continued reading, his voice almost a soothing hum against the backdrop of the quiet ranch. Every now and then, you’d glance up at him, watching the way the sunlight caught in his hair, the way he spoke with such focus and care. It was moments like this—quiet, intimate, with no rush—that made everything feel so right.
As the story unfolded, you both became more absorbed in the tale, but time seemed to stretch, becoming less important. The whole world could have passed by, and you wouldn’t have noticed. It was just the two of you, sharing a peaceful day in the fields, wrapped up in a story and in each other.
When Joel finished the chapter, he closed the book and placed it beside him, his hand gently resting on the blanket. He looked over at you, his expression soft.
“Did you like it?” he asked, his voice a little hushed.
You smiled, a soft warmth spreading through you. “I did. Thank you for sharing it with me.”
He nodded, his lips curving up at the corners. “You’re welcome.”
There was a moment of quiet, a small but meaningful silence that held everything you both hadn’t yet said, but didn’t need to. You shifted slightly, turning to face him more fully, your gaze catching his. You could feel the subtle change in the air between you, the quiet understanding that had been building all morning, now palpable.
Slowly, as if it had always been meant to happen, you leaned in, closing the space between you. Joel’s hand gently cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin, and then, without any more words needed, your lips met. The kiss was slow and tender, the kind that lingered in your soul long after it ended.
When you pulled away, you stayed close, your foreheads resting together, both of you breathing in the same quiet rhythm.
“I think I could get used to this,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
Joel smiled, his eyes soft with affection as he gazed at you. “Yeah. Me too.”
"You’ve... you’ve got a way of making everything feel a little different," Joel said, his voice catching slightly as he looked into your eyes. The silence that followed was thick, the weight of his words settling between you like a promise, an unspoken acknowledgment of something growing deeper between you both.
You could feel your heart beating a little faster. The way he was looking at you now was unlike anything you’d seen before. His gaze was hungry, but not in the way it had been before—this was more. More raw, more real.
You didn’t say anything in response. Instead, you let the tension build, your breath shallow as you reached for him, cupping his jaw gently in your hand. His breath hitched as your thumb traced the line of his jaw, and you couldn’t help but lean in just a little, your lips barely brushing against his.
Joel’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and when he opened them again, the storm that had always been present was even clearer now. You could see the restraint in the way his body was coiled, like a man holding back the tide.
“Don’t hold back,” you whispered, not trusting yourself to say more.
Joel didn’t need any more encouragement. His lips crashed against yours, hot and urgent, a mixture of relief and longing as if he were finally giving in to something he’d held at bay for far too long. The kiss was fierce, as though he were trying to make up for all the time spent keeping his distance.
Your fingers threaded into his hair, tugging him closer as his hands gripped your waist, pulling you into him with a strength that made your breath hitch. The heat between you two grew, making the air around you seem almost too thick to breathe. You could feel the solid weight of him against you, the way his chest pressed into yours with each kiss, the way his hands wandered across your back, memorising every curve of you.
His lips left yours only long enough for him to breathe, his forehead resting against yours. "God, you don’t know what you’re doin’ to me," Joel murmured, his voice rougher than usual, the words a low growl.
You laughed breathlessly, your hands still resting on his chest. "I think I’m starting to get the idea."
The blanket beneath you was rough against your bare thighs, the late afternoon sun warming your skin as Joel hovered over you, his body casting a shadow that made the gold in his eyes burn even brighter. His lips had just left yours, swollen and wet from the way he’d kissed you—deep, consuming, like he was trying to memorise the taste of you.
"You’re sure about this?" he asked, voice rough, his fingers flexing against your hips like he was already fighting the urge to take more.
In answer, you arched up against him, your chest brushing his, and Joel let out a low groan, his forehead dropping to yours.
"Christ," he muttered, his breath hot against your lips. "Out here like this—anyone could—"
You cut him off with a roll of your hips, grinding against the hard length of him, and Joel cursed, his restraint snapping.
His hands were everywhere at once—one tangling in your hair, the other sliding up your thigh, pushing the fabric of your dress higher until his calloused fingers met bare skin. You gasped as he traced the edge of your underwear, his touch teasing, maddening.
"Joel—"
"Tell me what you want," he growled, his lips brushing the shell of your ear before dragging down your neck, teeth scraping lightly.
You whimpered, your fingers clutching at his shirt. "You. Just you."
That was all it took.
His hand slid beneath the waistband of your panties, fingers finding you already wet, already aching for him. He groaned against your throat as he stroked you, slow at first, then firmer when your hips jerked against his touch.
"Fuck, sweetheart," he rasped, watching the way your body responded to him. "Look at you."
You could feel the tension coiling tighter, your breath coming in short gasps as his fingers worked you with a precision that had your toes curling. But just as you were teetering on the edge, Joel pulled back, leaving you empty, desperate.
Your protest was cut off when his mouth crashed back onto yours, his kiss filthy, his tongue sliding against yours as he guided your hand to his belt.
"Wanna feel you," he muttered against your lips, his voice wrecked. "All of you."
You didn’t hesitate. Your fingers fumbled with the buckle, then the button of his jeans, and when you finally freed him, Joel hissed through his teeth, his hips jerking into your touch.
He was thick, hot in your hand, and when you stroked him, his entire body tensed, his grip on your thigh tightening almost to the point of pain.
"Fuck—" His forehead dropped to your shoulder, his breath ragged. "Gonna ruin me."
You smiled, squeezing lightly, and Joel growled, his patience gone.
In one swift motion, he yanked your underwear aside and pushed into you, filling you so completely that you cried out, your nails digging into his shoulders.
Joel stilled, his body trembling with the effort of holding back. "Okay?" he gritted out, his voice strained.
Joel's breath was fire against your neck, his body trembling with restraint as he waited for your answer.
"More than okay," you gasped, arching into him, needing him deeper.
That was all the permission he needed.
Joel moved with a roughness that stole your breath—deep, relentless strokes that had you seeing stars. His hands gripped your hips hard enough to bruise, holding you exactly where he wanted you as he drove into you again and again.
"Look at me," he growled, his voice raw.
You forced your eyes open, meeting his dark, hungry gaze. Sweat glistened on his brow, his jaw clenched tight with pleasure. The sight of him—undone, wrecked, yours—sent a fresh wave of heat spiraling through you.
"Joel—"
"Know what you do to me?" he rasped, his thrusts turning slower, deeper, dragging against every sensitive inch inside you. "Fuckin' ruin me."
You clenched around him, and his control snapped.
With a groan, Joel flipped you onto your back, pinning your wrists above your head as he surged into you, his rhythm turning desperate. His lips crashed against yours, swallowing your moans as pleasure coiled tighter, hotter—until you shattered, crying out his name.
Joel followed with a broken groan, his hips stuttering as he spilled inside you, his forehead dropping to yours.
For a long moment, there was only the sound of your ragged breathing, the heat of his body pressed against yours. Then Joel exhaled, rough and unsteady, his thumb brushing your cheek.
"Christ," he muttered, voice wrecked.
You grinned, still trembling beneath him. "That a complaint?"
Joel huffed a laugh, pressing a kiss to your pulse point. "Ain't even close."
His touch gentled as he traced the curve of your waist, your hip, the inside of your thigh—checking, silently, for any discomfort. When he found none, his hand returned to cradle your face, his thumb brushing your kiss-swollen bottom lip.
"You good?" The question was gruff, but his eyes—dark and liquid in the low light—held an intensity that made your stomach flip.
You caught his wrist, pressing a kiss to his palm. "Better than good."
Joel’s throat worked. He leaned in, kissing you slow and deep, nothing like the frantic heat of before. This was something else—a claiming, a promise, a thank you that didn’t need words.
When he finally pulled back, he didn’t go far. His nose brushed yours, his breath warm on your skin. "Gonna take care of you," he murmured, already moving to slide down your body.
You caught his shoulder. "Joel—"
"Shhh." A kiss to your sternum. "Let me."
His mouth was hot as it traced the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, his beard scraping deliciously. You gasped when his tongue laved over you, slow and thorough, his hands spreading you wide.
"Joel—"
His grip tightened. "Told you," he growled against your skin. "Gonna take my time."
And he did.
By the time he was done, you were boneless and breathless, your fingers tangled in his hair as he crawled back up your body, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your stomach, your ribs, the flutter of your pulse.
"Still good?" he asked, his voice rough with satisfaction.
You could only nod, your limbs heavy with pleasure.
Joel smirked, that rare, real smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. Then he gathered you against him, tucking your head under his chin, his heartbeat steady against your cheek.
"Rest," he murmured, his hand stroking down your spine. "I got you."
And for the first time in your life, you believed it.
As you drifted, Joel reached for the spare blanket, draping it over you both. His fingers traced idle patterns on your shoulder—circles, spirals, the occasional brush of his knuckles—as if memorising you by touch.
Joel’s lips brushed your forehead. "Stay?"
Not a command. A question.
You curled closer, your leg hooking over his. "Try and make me leave."
His chest rumbled with quiet laughter, his arms tightening around you. "Wouldn’t dare."
And in the quiet that followed, wrapped in the heat of him, you realised—
You were home.
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#tlou fanfiction#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction
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Little Soul
A leyline abnormality has occured in the House of Hearth!
Gn!Reader, unspecified relationship status, SUBTLE power dynamic, OOC, bad grammar and no beta read, quick story, canon divergent?
~~
Being House of Hearth's best leyline researcher means you work outside a lot. Always be on the field, directly studying the leylines themselves.
Being the best also means that the Head of the House always rely on you whenever there is an abnormality. You and the Lady are quite close, in professional matter. Everything is mostly about documents and mission.
With few personal teacup party.
The very first tea party was a nervous wreck. The Lady herself request for your presence, only you, just you. Oh boy, despite the bad thoughts clouded your mind, you just hope you got a raise or promotion.
Thankfully, it was just her asking for a plan. A quite specific plan of a very specific leyline abnormalities. It was Clervie, one of House of Hearth's children in the past.
That's where you learnt more of the Head of House of Hearth's past. She doesn't tell much other than Clervie need to be gone as she isn't suppose to exist and wandering about. Putting a soul to rest, again.
After hours of talking, she settled with a plan, thanking you by promising a raise on the next salary. Somehow, knowing how she was in the past is a promotion itself for you, imposing into her life story where not a lot of people are lucky enough to know.
Knowing how a leyline can manifest, how a memory of the past can exist as a visible soul, how an innocent soul can stuck in time, how...Arlecchino was just a child.
Leylines, basically Tevyat's biggest hive network memories, everything that has happened in the world is recorded and remembered.
Including the very memory that Arlecchino wants to forget.
You always see the Lady herself is all calm and collected, barely anything makes her break a sweat. She often does things her own way, it is quick and precise.
Now imagine your shock and dread when a pigeon bird flies to you with a small note "S.O.S". You know this bird, in fact, this one particular pigeon is only assigned for you. A messenger pigeon, reserved only for you, only for emergency, only from the Lady Arlecchino.
Door slams open, all due respect but anxiety fills your body, there is no time for greetings and formalities, if the Lady herself sending urgent message there must be some-
Huh?
It took you a moment to realize another abnormality like Clervie happens again but..in..the appearance of..the Lady?!
The task is simple, RETURN PERUERE. Okay, it's not that dreadful but the fact the fact the Lady trusting you to do this task, you feel like she is testing your skill. Testing if you are truly her best researcher.
You nodded, agreed to keep Lil Peruere a secret, her small hand engulf by yours when you guide the little soul into your private research office.
The true challenge is not sending her back, the TRUE challenge is to not grow attachment to the soul. Yes, she is a bit unique but the way her little hands always wanting to help stacking books, papers and catching small spiders making you grow fond of the little one.
So this is how Arlecchino was when she was a child, huh?
Makes you wonder what would Arlecchino's child be like.
This challenge also creating a bridge, more personal bridge rather than professional. Often times you only meet Arlecchino if there is a task, it was professional and formal, over a teacup party.
When Little Peruere stays with you, Arlecchino always shows up before your research office, o'clock, with..basket of sweets?
It was nice, the atmosphere is less formal and more domestic casual. Conversation is not always about the research progress, sometimes it's about Arlecchino's upbringing, what Little Peruere likes to do, and your own trivial stuff. The intimate talk only be witnessed by the papers and whiteboards in the research office.
Weeks passed and with Arlecchino's power, Little Peruere passed on, same with Clervie, the warm sunlight enveloping the lost soul as the little one disappear into small glistening petals. Just like Clervie, Arlecchino accompany Little Peruere, but you also sits next to her. Arlecchino have asked you to stay in the research office as the night is cold, yet here you are...
Sitting next to her, leading the conversation as both Peruere and Arlecchino prefers to listening in. The dawn sky is beautiful, dark twilight-blue night sky slowly painted with yellow-orange lights. Peruere watching with fascination, yours watching the little one with adoration, and you felt a pair of eyes watching you from the side.
~~
Clicking, typing, rustling filled your research office. You need to make a report on the little soul, as formality of your works. Arlecchino was there to proofreading the report herself.
The Harbinger doesn't miss how you sighed a lot, recalling the little pitter-patter of Peruere's feet around your office, the small hands tidying up the papers around, and the small bug container-which always contain any bugs found in your office- in the corner is empty now that Peruere is not here.
Arlecchino thinks, you have gone this far to send the soul back. Perhaps she should give you something in return, it's only fair in transaction,right?
What is it? A day off? A vacation? A raise? A promotion? A kid of your own?
Well, it seems you have grown fond to the little Peruere, perhaps...another real Peruere would be a delight?
And what a delight it is~! The House of Hearth burst into happiness when the news of another member, from the Father herself , was announced when the children are eating dinner.
This raised the House's morale, everybody work and play safely, determined to go home in one piece looking forward when cries of an infant burst into the house. It would be hell to get used to but the House of Hearth is used to not cry for pain, no tears of loss and grief.
This is the only cry they would have, the only wail in the building, the only tears they would be happy to hear. The only tears in the House of Hearth....
Oh hey, The Tsaritsa send a baby care package~♡!
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♡♡
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Another one is in the oven
#imaginedraw#genshin impact arlecchino#genshin arlecchino x reader#genshin x reader#capitano genshin#genshin pierro#genshin harbingers#arlecchino x reader#genshin imagines#genshin arlecchino#arlecchino#genshin x gn reader#arlecchino x gn reader#geez im flopping
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